#but besties there are worse trauma for each of them right in canon please

[questing-wulfstan]

While on the subject of trauma, do you ever think about how Hob Gadling waited 33 years for Morpheus to show up at the New Inn, and seemed determined to wait even longer if needed even as he was getting dangerously close to the longest he'd ever stayed in the same place, which had awarded him to be drowned as a witch ? And sure, British people no longer publicly drown witches in the year 2022, but that would not stop a traumatised Hob from dreading it. Nor would it stop bigots finding themselves a sudden dislike for a queer man marginalising himself from society just enough that he can fall off the face of the earth without too much trouble from not-publicly do other than drowning him ... What I'm saying is, it was not only incredibly patient and loyal for Hob Gadling to wait 33 years at the New Inn for Morpheus, it was also freaking brave and metal of him, thanks for coming to my TED Talk.

[cleopatraas]

ACOWAR - Real Talk (SPOILERS)

I don’t like using a cut but this is a long post, so I’ll use it just this once. 

Everything aside, how I feel about ships, how I feel about characters, how I feel about everything, these are my thoughts. 

The diversity was so much better than in ACOTAR and ACOMAF. I went into this book afraid of so many things, of so many outcomes, of so many horrors, but...I was very pleasantly surprised. I could tell Sarah tried and honestly? Thank you. Thank you for trying, even all these years later, thank you for giving me this book. 

Thank you for giving me a bisexual black character. 

Thank you for giving me a black character in a position of power that wasn’t demonized (Yes. That happens)

Thank you for giving me a gay brown man (I’m not sure on Thesan’s race/ethnicity 100% and I want to do research but I think he’s Hindi). 

It’s not only Helion, Tarquin, and Thesan. It’s their entire Courts. Before ACOWAR, it was theories, rumors, fan casts, but now, it’s canon. It’s canon that three Courts are entirely people of color and even Kallias’s court, the WINTER COURT, has Fae of brown skin. 

It’s also canon that ALL THE ILLYRIANS are brown. Every last one of them, every last one. (There are a lot of thoughts on this, but this is not the time)

And a lot more people had brown skin! Like...almost everyone. I couldn’t even tell you how many times I cried, when all these characters...started to look like me. And that’s the best way I can describe it; this euphoria, this moment where everything just stands still....and you cry. 

SARAH ONLY USED TAN LIKE THREE TIMES. That’s a blessing in itself. 

AND SHE NEVER USED FOOD TO DESCRIBE US OH BOY. That was probably what I was most afraid of? Reading about Helion being “dark-chocolate” or Thesan being “caramel”. Even worse, someone thinking of them like food. It’s like...fetishizing us and its icky (unless you allow someone to call you a food nickname, which is a whole different thing). But she didn’t! She just used brown...deep brown, rich brown, etc. and I liked it. (She did use honey-brown, but I was okay with that). She also didn’t use the word exotic...bless. 

And she tried when it came to lgbt+ rep. As a straight person I obviously can’t say what needs to be said, but I can say what I thought. No, Nephelle nor Thesan’s lovers got names, but it was obvious that they were gay. I love how Helion, A BISEXUAL MAN, was never portrayed as a slut? He was never slut shamed? Yes, he wanted three/foursomes, but no one ever slut shamed him for it. No one ever looked down at him for liking both genders? Helion was forward with his attraction to Mor, Cassian, Azriel, Rhys, Feyre, AND THESAN. (The man has incredible taste)

I...liked Mor’s coming out story? Obviously there are things that....aren’t perfect. But I wasn’t really looking for perfect and I wasn’t sure what to expect. Probably one thing about it is I’m just sad Mor doesn’t feel like the Inner Circle won’t judge her, even when they don’t blink an eye at Thesan or Helion or Nephelle. So I hope a novella is about her, or she’s in the next series. Also the whole “me coming out would make Azriel sad” ??? 2+2=honey its your life who cares who it makes sad; just be happy. 

But I’ll leave that topic for people of the lgbt+ community to dissect and discuss.

Character wise...I don’t think anyone was really, completely OOC? I think there were moments where I was staring at the character like... “Okay who are you and what have you done with so and so?” (spoiler alert, it was Rhys)

Mor hating Nesta? I don’t like Nesta, but that was a bit harsh. I think you guys were robbed of that friendship. I can see how Mor was protecting her friend, her brother, Cassian, who she’s known for centuries, against this person she’s just met but....it wasn’t really Mor-like. Especially since it came off as jealousy. 

What Rhys did to Mor...was one of the most unforgivable things. I understand we’re at war, I do, but there is a line you have to draw for yourself. There is a line and bringing both of your cousin’s abusers into the same room, THAT’S THE LINE. Rhys and Azriel both betrayed Mor’s trust. And then took her safe place away from her. 

And then she had to work BESIDE Keir and Eris, no longer in control, no longer in power. I just...I’m still....not comfortable at all with this. Lines need to be drawn so stuff like THIS doesn’t happen. I don’t see Rhys forcing Feyre to work with Tamlin...and yet....he brings Eris and Keir right in front of Mor? And then kind of belittles and judges for being triggered? Next (and not entirely forgiven)

Nessian and Elriel. I don’t ship them, but I feel like you guys were robbed. 

Maybe it’s because I don’t ship them, but I don’t really see the set up for Elriel? I see them as the best team of besties ever. I see Elain as another sister to Azriel, someone who maybe can get past more barriers because he doesn’t like her like that. And as for Elain...guys let her breathe for a second. She’s still healing over Greyson, or whatever that miserable boy’s name is, and she still has to navigate a mating bond. I think they would be amazing best friends, because guys and girls can be best friends without them being related, but if you guys ship it....I can see it. That’s all I’m going to say. 

I think you guys were cheated out of Nessian. But I don’t think you guys were cheated at all....? I don’t like Nesta, but I can appreciate a character healing. I can appreciate a character who, as the fandom says, feels too much. I can appreciate Nesta’s PTSD and recognize it. But please, recognize Cassian’s PTSD, too, thanks? He almost died too; he almost lost his wings. And that’s why neither of them have thrown each other at the other. I think it’s very obvious they have some feelings...in a slow burn kind of way. And I think this slow burn could be really good so I’m really happy for Nessian shippers. 

And I don’t think Cassian was OOC. Everyone recognizes Azriel and his self-doubt, especially Moriel shippers. The main thing about Azriel and his mental block is that he think he doesn’t deserve to be loved. And I think Cassian feels that way, too, especially after failing to protect Nesta after he swore he would. 

He was willing to die to try to regain some of that honor and her trust. He almost did. Like....Twice! Yes, Nesta saw her father die, but....I think it’s reaching it to say it was OOC for Cassian not to go to her. He has his own internal struggle and Feyre herself said that they needed to give Nesta space. Sometimes going to a person right away....it’s not the best call. 

Jurian and Eris? No? Like I’m fine with Jurian...I can believe he was never the villain of their story. I can believe he has his own traumas and mental illness(es) and PTSD. Mostly because no matter how hard I try I can never remember what went down between Miryam, Drakon, and Jurian. I can barely remember how to spell their names. 

But Eris? No. Just...him being the “not the villain but also not the bad guy in the story, more like the anti-hero”, I wasn’t buying it. It came out of nowhere and it erases Mor’s trauma and Lucien’s. Eris didn’t deserve that little bit of ‘redemption’ he got, but Tarquin deserved more page time. So can I like...trade the two?

No?? Female?? Illyrians?? My heart still hasn't recovered. 

No one died? I’m not complaining, but I was sure Amren was going to die. 

There are so many winged creatures now I already forgot half of them. We have the Seraphim who I was already expecting to have feathered wings. We have the Peregryms...which reminds me of Miss Peregrine every time I look at it. We have whatever the FRESH HELL HELION TURNED INTO OH BOY I HAD A HEART ATTACK. Helion’s beast form would have me running for the hills. 

We have the “villains” who turned into “anti-heros”? I was more upset over the Carver and Weaver’s deaths more than anything in this book. Because their characters are always better. They only showed up to that battle to eat people, terrorize Fae, and get something out of it. The best™ kind. And then they....died. The Weaver’s death was so anti-climatic she deserved better. And Bryaxis YEETED so quick. Did we really think It would go back to that library? 

THE SURIEL. RIP Suri. You will be missed. The one death the entire fandom will never be over. 

Lucien. His trauma...wasn’t addressed at all. And I could let it slide...but there was time to address it. There was time before Lucien left the book to go find Vassa to address his trauma. For the love of god, Feyre saw what Ianthe almost did to him, she saw what Tamlin almost did to him...but Lucien ended up apologizing and being treated...horribly? Fix this. Immediately. Fox Boy deserved better. 

Lucien suddenly being biracial. I’m not going to complain, at all, because Biracial!Lucien gave me new life, it resurrected me on the cross. But...Lucien looked exactly like Beron in ACOTAR and ACOMAF. It was just pushed so hard, that “Lucien has dark skin now”, that is was pretty obvious Helion was his father (especially when the book was suddenly screaming at us that Helion was Helion SPELL-CLEAVER). 

Tamlin...Just...Can everyone just ship a bottle of aspirin to me? If you all do it, I’m pretty sure it’ll be enough to take my headache away. Hopefully. Maybe two bottles from all of you, just to be sure. 

I also felt like there was a different writer at some points? And the story kind of dragged in areas? Did anyone else feel that way? 

That’s pretty much it. There was so much more than I could go deeper into, but I think this is just a nice over view. If you want my thoughts on anything, feel free to use my inbox.