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#but being alone feels so much better than talking :))))
ponderingmoonlight · 2 days
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How JJK Men React to Seeing You in Their Clothes
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Pairings: Gojo x fem!reader; Megumi x fem!reader; Yuta x fem!reader; Nanami x fem!reader
Word Count: 2,5k
Warnings: fluff over fluff, I'm pretty sure I already wrote something like this but I can't find it anymore lol, all scenarios talk about the clothes of the said jjk men being big on you so please don't read if this isn't what you vibe with (but feel free to let me know if you want a version in which their clothes actually fit reader quite well!)
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Gojo Satoru
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The apartment is unusually quiet as you move through the living room, your bare feet padding lightly across the cool floor. Gojo had left early this morning to deal with some “business,” leaving you alone with nothing but a mess of his belongings scattered around. You’re not one to complain though - cleaning up after him has become second nature after spending so much time together.
As you tidy up his place, you come across one of his oversized hoodies. It’s sprawled across the back of a chair, still slightly wrinkled from when he wore it the night before. The faint scent of his cologne lingers in the fabric, and for reasons you can’t quite explain, you find yourself reaching for it.
It’s soft, much softer than you expected. You hold it for a moment, staring at it thoughtfully before a mischievous grin tugs at your lips. You slip the hoodie over your head, the fabric swallowing you whole. The sleeves are comically long, almost covering your hands completely, and the hemline reaches down to your thighs. It’s so big that it feels like you’re wearing a blanket, and despite yourself, you giggle at the sight of your reflection in the hallway mirror.
You sit down on the couch, pulling your legs up under the hoodie, and let yourself relax into the comfort of wearing something that smells like him. His signature cologne that follows him around wherever he goes, that makes your heart skip a beat every time you smell it. To be honest, you really miss him. These past weeks were so busy that you didn’t really get the chance to see him more than 2 hours before passing out sleeping. What you’d do for a whole afternoon, just you and him…
Not long after, you hear the oh so accustomed sound of the door unlocking, followed by the familiar voice of Satoru calling out, “I’m home!”
You stiffen for a moment, wondering how he’ll react, but you can’t hide now. Fuck, you never wore his clothes before. After all, they belong to him and you have no right to grab his stuff as you please.
Before you can say anything to defend yourself, Gojo steps into the living room, his bright blue eyes immediately locking onto you.
There’s a beat of silence. Then, a slow, amused grin spreads across his face.
“Well, well, what do we have here?” he teases, leaning against the doorway with his arms crossed.
His sunglasses are perched on his head, revealing his crystalline eyes that seem to glow with delight.
“Did you raid my closet while I was gone?”
You roll your eyes, trying to play it cool despite the sudden warmth creeping up your neck.
“Your place was cold. Figured I’d borrow something.”
Gojo doesn’t respond right away. Instead, he walks over to you, crouching in front of the couch as he eyes you up and down. His grin widens as he takes in the way the hoodie completely engulfs you, making you look even smaller than usual.
“Looks good on you,” he murmurs, his voice lower now, laced with something playful but undeniably affectionate.
He reaches out, tugging on one of the oversized sleeves gently.
“In fact, I think it suits you better than it does me.”
You scoff, though your heart skips a beat at the way he’s looking at you, like you’re the most fascinating thing in the world.
“You think everything looks good on me.”
“That’s because it does.”
His grin is infuriatingly confident, but there’s a softness in his gaze that makes your breath catch.
“But you, wearing my clothes? I think that might be my favorite look.”
He leans closer, his nose brushing against your temple before pressing a soft kiss there.
“You can keep it if you want,” he whispers, his breath warm against your skin.
“I don’t think I’m getting it back anyway.”
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Megumi Fushiguro
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It’s early morning, the sun just beginning to rise over the horizon, casting a soft glow over Megumi’s small apartment. He’s still asleep, his dark hair a mess of unruly strands as he breathes softly beside you. You’ve been staying with him for the weekend, a rare break from the chaos of jujutsu sorcery.
As you quietly slip out of bed, careful not to wake him, you feel the cool air hit your skin. Without thinking, you look around the room for something to cover yourself with. Your eyes land on one of Megumi’s plain black shirts, tossed haphazardly over the back of a chair. It’s oversized, much bigger than anything you’d typically wear, but you shrug and grab it anyway.
Slipping it over your head, the fabric is soft and familiar, carrying the faint scent of him. It hangs loosely on your frame, the sleeves too long and the hem falling halfway down your thighs. You glance at yourself in the mirror, a small smile tugging at your lips. There’s something comforting about wearing his clothes, like having a part of him with you even when he’s asleep.
As you turn back toward the bed, you freeze. Megumi’s awake. His dark eyes are half-lidded, still clouded with sleep as he watches you from the bed. You can’t quite read his expression -it’s a mixture of surprise, confusion, and something else you can’t place.
“You’re up early,” he mutters, his voice still thick with sleep.
You shrug, feeling a little self-conscious under his gaze.
“Couldn’t sleep. I didn’t think you’d mind if I borrowed your shirt.”
Megumi blinks, his gaze drifting over you slowly. He doesn’t say anything right away, but you can see the way his eyes linger on the way the shirt swallows you, how it looks like you’re drowning in fabric. After a long moment, he finally speaks, his voice quieter than before.
“It looks good on you,” he finally speaks out, a little awkwardly, as if he’s not quite sure how to compliment you.
“Better than it does on me.”
You can’t help but laugh at how flustered he seems, even though he’s trying to play it cool.
“Really? I think it’s a little big.”
Megumi shakes his head, sitting up in bed and running a hand through his messy hair.
“No. It’s perfect.”
He pauses for a moment before adding, almost shyly,
“You should wear my stuff more often.”
His words catch you off guard, and you raise an eyebrow at him, surprised. Even though you know all too well that Megumi Fushiguro has a soft spot for you, you never really thought about stealing or borrowing his stuff. After all, he is the guy who slaps the back of Yuji’s head each and every day over stealing his sandwich or equipment. And now…he’s telling you straightforward that he wants you to wear his shirts?
“You want me to?”
He looks away, his usual stoic mask slipping just a bit as a faint blush creeps up his cheeks.
“I mean... yeah. It suits you.”
Your heart skips a beat at his admission. Megumi isn’t one for big, flowery declarations, but this, this small, almost hesitant compliment, is enough to make your chest warm. You walk over to him, climbing back into bed and curling up beside him like you always do after waking up.
“Well, if you insist,” you mutter teasingly, leaning your head on his shoulder.
“I might just steal more of your clothes.”
Megumi huffs, but there’s a softness in his eyes as he wraps an arm around your waist, pulling you closer.
“Go ahead,” he mumbles, tugging at the hem of his loose shirt.
“I don’t mind.”
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Yuta Okkotsu
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You’ve been staying at Yuta’s apartment for the past few days, crashing at his place while you’re both on a break from missions. It’s been nice: quiet, peaceful, just the two of you enjoying each other’s company without the usual chaos of jujutsu high looming over you.
It’s late in the evening now, and you’ve just gotten out of the shower, feeling refreshed after a long day. As you towel off your hair, you realize you forgot to grab something to wear. Your suitcase is still in the living room, and you don’t really feel like walking out there in just a towel.
Your groan in frustration over your usual absent-mindlessness, eyes landing on one of Yuta’s old sweatshirts, folded neatly on the chair by his desk. It’s a little worn, clearly well-loved, and the idea of wearing something of his brings a smile to your face. Yuta definitely wouldn’t mind you wearing one of his shirts, right? And even if he did…you’d love to see that little blush creep up his face.
Without thinking twice, you pull the sweatshirt over your head. It’s oversized, the sleeves long enough to cover your hands, and the fabric is soft and cozy against your skin.
You’re adjusting the sleeves when the door creaks open slightly. You look up just as Yuta steps into the room, his eyes widening in surprise when he sees you.
“Oh, hey-” he starts, but then he freezes, his gaze locking onto the sweatshirt you’re wearing.
His face flushes almost instantly, a deep red creeping up his cheeks as he stares at you.
“Uh… is that…?”, Yuta stammers, clearly flustered.
You glance down at the sweatshirt and smile sheepishly.
“Yeah, I hope you don’t mind. I forgot to grab my clothes, and this looked comfortable.”
Yuta blinks, his face still bright red, but he quickly shakes his head.
“No! I mean, I don’t mind at all! It’s just… you look… um…”
He trails off, his eyes flicking away as if he’s too embarrassed to finish the sentence.
You giggle softly, stepping closer to him, to tease the hell out of him even more. That poor innocent boy who doesn’t even dare looking your direction when you stumble in the bathroom in the morning with noting but a shirt and panties on.
Even though you’ve been together for over a year by now.
“I look… what?”
Yuta clears his throat, still avoiding your gaze.
“You look… really cute,” he mutters, barely audible.
“In my sweatshirt, I mean.”
Your heart swells at his words, and you can’t help but smile as you reach out and take his hand, giving it a gentle squeeze.
“Thanks, Yuta.”
He finally meets your gaze, his face still red but his expression softening as he squeezes your hand back.
“You can wear my clothes anytime you want,” he says quietly, a shy smile tugging at his lips.
You grin, stepping closer and wrapping your arms around his waist.
“I might just take you up on that.”
Yuta chuckles, his arms wrapping around you in return as he pulls you close.
 “I wouldn’t mind,” he murmurs, pressing a soft kiss to the top of your head.
“Not at all.”
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Nanami Kento
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It’s late, and Nanami is still out on a mission. You’ve been waiting for him to come home, but the clock is ticking past midnight, and exhaustion is beginning to catch up with you. After all, you’ve had a long and exhausting day at work yourself.
You’re curled up on the couch, half-asleep, when the chill of the evening air prompts you to grab something warmer to wear.
Your own clothes are in the bedroom, and you don’t feel like moving that far. Instead, your eyes land on one of Nanami’s neatly folded dress shirts, sitting on the back of a chair. It’s probably not the warmest option, but the idea of wearing something of his feels comforting, like having a part of him with you while you wait for him to return.
You slip the shirt on, the crisp fabric soft against your skin. It’s too big, of course, the sleeves hanging past your wrists and the hem falling almost to your knees, but it’s cozy in its own way. You curl up on the couch again, pulling the sleeves over your hands and breathing in the faint scent of him that still lingers on the fabric.
You don’t realize you’ve dozed off until the sound of the front door opening stirs you awake. You sit up groggily, blinking as Nanami steps inside, looking tired but unharmed. He pauses when he sees you, his eyes widening slightly as he takes in the sight of you wearing his shirt.
For a moment, neither of you say anything. Then, a small, almost imperceptible smile tugs at the corner of Nanami’s lips.
“You’re wearing my shirt,” he observes, his voice calm but with a hint of amusement.
You rub your eyes sleepily, nodding.
“It was cold, and I didn’t feel like getting up.”
Nanami walks over to you, his expression soft as he takes in the sight of you.
 “It suits you,” he murmurs, his voice low and warm.
“I didn’t expect to come home to this.”
You shrug, feeling a little self-conscious under his gaze.
“If you don’t like it, I can-”
“I like it,” he cuts in, his tone firm but gentle.
He reaches out, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear before his hand lingers at your cheek.
“I like it very much.”
You smile, leaning into his touch as you look up at him.
“I might have to borrow your clothes more often, then.”
Nanami chuckles softly, his thumb brushing against your cheek before he leans down to press a soft kiss to your forehead.
“You’re welcome to them,” he breathes out.
“Though I have to admit, you make my clothes look much better than I do.”
You laugh softly, your heart warming at his rare display of affection.
“I doubt that.”
Nanami shakes his head, his eyes soft and filled with affection as he looks at you.
“It’s true. But regardless, you’re welcome to them anytime” he insists.
With that, he sits down beside you on the couch, pulling you into his side as he wraps an arm around your shoulders. You snuggle into him, the warmth of his body and the comfort of his shirt making you feel safe and content.
“Thank you, Kento,” you whisper, closing your eyes as exhaustion starts to pull you back into sleep.
Nanami presses a soft kiss to the top of your head, his voice low and soothing as he murmurs,
“Anytime, love.”
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We ain’t angry at you, love
Katie McCabe x teen!reader
trigger warnings: mentions of suicide, hospitals, grief, overall bad mental health, please don’t read if you’re not in the correct headspace 🫶
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you didn’t realise it had gotten this bad, or maybe you did and you weren’t ready to admit it.
there was something about admitting how bad things had gotten that scared you, talking about your feelings, admitting that you needed help was beyond scary.
you couldn’t tell your mam how much you were struggling, couldn’t verbalise just how much you were hurting, you didn’t want to hurt her, make her realise that despite everything she couldn’t make you better, couldn’t heal your past.
you were broken beyond repair, everything about you was entirely broken, from your head to your toes, your heart to your brain, it was all broken, your life was a mess, that only seemed to get worse and worse the more life went on.
you were only young, sixteen to be precise and yet you’d been through more than most people would in their lifetime, but your man had saved you, stopped you from drowning when you were twelve years old, she gave you a home, somewhere to feel safe, loved and cared for, you thought that feeling would last forever, that the love your mam gave you would be enough. Stop you from crumbling to your PTSD, you thought that every happy memory your mam gave you would replace every bad one, and it did for awhile at least, everything was okay, you were happy, until you weren’t.
until you started playing for Arsenal, until the hate began and undone everything you had tried your best to patch up, until the flashbacks came back and the anxiety consumed you again.
maybe you were destined for this life, this never ending cycle of pain and heartbreak.
This cycle of finally feeling better, like you wanted to live, wanted to be happy, and then the inevitable would happen, you’d crash, and the feelings would come back. Each time they did, you felt a piece of you break, another piece of you unraveling, until you were all unraveled, consumed by the weight of your mind. the tumbleweed mess of your past taking over.
it was what led you here, alone in your bathroom crouched over the sink, throwing the contents of your stomach out, bleeding out all over the once shiny white tiles.
your wrists were burning now, your scarlett blood was dripping down the bathrooms bright white tiles, you can still remember picking out those tiles with your mam, you were 13 and the bathroom was being renovated, katie let you pick out the tiles, you had spent hours deciding what ones to get, what the perfect ones were, it was something so simple and yet it was the first time you’d ever been given the choice in something, allowed to decide something on your own, at the time you hadn’t known your blood was going to pour out all over them, ruin the perfect tiles you picked out, hadn’t realised you would spent your last moments on these tiles, those white shiny tiles.
you didn’t know what had led you here today, why today was the day you’d simply had enough, why you’d finally gotten over the fear and just done it, you didn’t know why, you were just done, so fucking done.
you couldn’t breathe now you realised, you think you were dying, although you couldn’t be sure because you’d never died before.
it felt good you think, knowing that soon you’d take your last breathes, soon you’d be gone, free from the shackles of your mind, free from your past.
you had been at peace with this decision for a long time, way before you had actually done it, way before you had even came into your mind, it was always your destiny to go out this way.
Your biological mum had went out this way, after one to many lashing from your father, days later your father had went the same way, blade to the wrist, just like you were now, you had found him, slumpt up against the bathroom door, just like you were now, it was always what was supposed to happen you realised, you weren’t made for the fame, strangers weren’t supposed to know your name, you weren’t supposed to feel the love that Katie had given you, that wasn’t your destiny, this was.
you’d spent to long pretending it was, pretending that everything was fine, that this wasn’t how you were supposed to go, sometimes you had even believed it, believed that you were going to be okay, some days you truly believed you could live this life, live a life of fame, happiness, love and then it would all come crushing down, and you’d be harshly reminded off your fate.
-
you thought you were gone, thought it was all over, but then you heard the beeping, loud obnoxious beeps, this wasn’t death, wasn’t hell or heaven, no this was something else.
this wasn’t where you were supposed to be, no you were supposed to be gone, you should be gone you did everything right, you didn’t exactly what your late mother had done and your father, they had gone, they got to leave and yet you hadn’t.
no you were still here you realised, you were in a dimly lit hospital room, the beeping becoming more clear, the soft snores of caitlin in the background, this was not the end.
this was much worse you realised, you had failed, you had failed yet again, if your father was here to see he would have laughed at your failure, he probably sneering at you right now, wherever he was, wherever you go when you die.
you didn’t want to open your eyes, if you opened your eyes it would all become real, what you had tried to do, you’d have to your mams heartbreak, you’d have to go to therapy and talk and talk, you couldn’t do that.
you were to scared, terrified in fact, you didn’t want to be here you couldn’t here.
you were getting truly distressed now, your heartbeat increasing, the beeping was getting louder now, doctors came rushing in trying to calm you.
“hey darling, it’s okay can you breathe for me sweetheart” you hear your mams calming essence, her usual accent thick with emotion.
slowly you opened your eyes, staring back at you were your mams bright green eyes, they were glossed all over, her eyes bag prominent.
you had done this you realised, you’d destroyed your mam, broken her heart.
“M’ sorry” you managed to croak out, your voice cracking slightly.
because you were sorry, you didn’t realise how upset your ma would be, you figured she’d get over it, you’d only been in her life a short time, you didn’t think she’d be so upset.
“you don’t need to be sorry baby i’m just glad your okay” katie replied, giving you a soft smile.
you could see the hurt in her eyes, you weren’t stupid, you knew it wasn’t okay.
“no i’m sorry ma I’m sorry for coming into your life and fucking up all your plans i’m so fucking sorry.”
you watch as your mams face falls, her shoulder drops, and the tears well back up again.
“No y/n you are the best to ever happen to me, i love you and i need you here with me, at home and healthy, you don’t need to be sorry for anything” she tells you, the urgency in her voice becoming more evident.
you shake your head “no i ruined your life i ruin everything i touch you should have let me died ma.”
“No baby, you didn’t” she replies quietly, her words remain in the air for a while.
you could hear the sincerity in her voice, it didn’t change how you felt though, maybe to her you hadn’t ruined her life, but to you, and everyone round her you had ruined her life.
“y/n before i met you, i was lost, i wasn’t me, i had lost myself and then u became your mam and suddenly everything was okay again, i found my purpose, my purpose was to be your mam to make you happy and healthy, you changed my life yes, but you changed it for the better, every single day i wake up and thank god that you came into my life, you’re my baby girl y/n and i love you.”
Her words hit you like a truck, you hadn’t known you were crying until Katie reached down to your cheek to wipe them away.
You didn’t want to live, or so you had thought, and then you heard katie’s words, and all of a sudden maybe living in wasn’t quite so bad.
“i don’t know what to do ma, i’m scared, and I’m all alone i don’t think i can be me again” you cried out, your words were almost unrecognisable.
“You can do it, you have me, Caitlin, your teammates, you can baby you are so strong” Katie tells you, hugging you tightly, she wishes she could hold onto you forever, wishes you both could just stay like this, where she could keep you safe and away from the whirlwind of your mind.
“go to sleep baby, once you wake up, we can talk some more, it’s all going to be okay i promise.”
and you believed her, maybe it will all be okay, maybe you can do this, you can face this, maybe just maybe your destiny isn’t the same as your mothers or father.
-
you didn’t wake up.
you never woke up again.
you had a seizure and your heart stopped, you died, you never got to hear Katie’s next words.
you weren’t given the chance to get better.
you didn’t get to see your full potential.
you didn’t get to achieve everything you always wanted to.
you never got live out that bright future everyone always told you that you had.
you didn’t get to finish school.
you didn’t get to sign your first pro contract, like you had always dreamed off.
all of those things never happened.
because you killed yourself, on them bright white tiles, in your bathroom floor, just like your mother and father had once.
-
Katie’s eyes snapped open, pulling the covers away from her body, scrambling out of bed, walking towards your bedroom, praying she’d find you, praying this was all just some kind of evil prank, that she’d find you safe and sound asleep in bed, like you should be.
your room was excatly as you left, the letters you wrote, remained untouched, katie couldn’t bear to read them, not yet at least.
your homework was left sprawled on your desk, your clothes scattered around your room, your fairy lights remained on, exactly as you left them.
to anyone else it would look like normal teenage girls bedroom.
but to Katie, it was the last thing she had left of you, the last part of you that wasn’t full of dark memories, the last thing that remained untouched form that night.
katies body trembled as she remembered that night, finding your lifeless body and blood sprawled out all over the bathroom floor, seeing your eyes that were once filled with so much light and happiness, dead and cold.
“Katie?”
Caitlin asked, leaning against the doorframe.
“you okay baby” she questioned slowly, watching as the brunette eyes frantically searched the room, looking for you.
you weren’t there.
you’d never be there again.
never.
“i had a dream of what could’ve been” she managed to choke out to her girlfriend, turning around to look at her “i miss her so much i just want my baby girl back cait” she wailed, heavy tears flowing down her cheeks.
she’d had this exact dream, every night since you had left, it had been exactly one week without you, without hearing your smile and laugh, it had a long and exhausting week.
Breaking the news to her teammates, watching as their face dropped, watching as their heart broke right in front of her.
and then there was breaking the news to the entire women’s football community, the child prodigy, the sixteen year old girl who was supposed to be Arsenals future ‘star girl’, telling the world that her daughter was gone, gone from this world, and that she would never come back.
it had been a long week of paper work, planning your funeral, she should have been planning your birthday, instead she was picking out flowers and coffins.
“it’s okay Katie, you’re allowed to cry and be upset, you can be upset for as long as you need baby” Caitlin sympathised, slowly making her way to Katie’s spot on your bed.
“she was only sixteen cait, sixteen she still had so much left to give, so much to see, she wanted to see so much and now she never will.” Katie rambled out, her words becoming almost unrecognisable.
“i know, i know, but now you get to live for her, do all the things she wanted to do caitlin replied slowly, pulling her into a bone crushing hug.
“i wish she came to me cait i could’ve helped” Katie sobbed out again.
“i know I’m so sorry baby.”
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caprisunnydays · 2 days
Text
Stardew Valley x Reader Bachelor Headcanons
Alex
Before you and Alex got together, you probably became long time friends
He was def like "damn they hot" but then when it became more than just that he was like "DAMN THEY'RE HOT"
It's been a bit since he's felt those silly little butterflies, it genuinely makes him nervous
Que him leaning against a wall like "Hey bbg" but he's sweating bullets
After his confession, he feels much better, and the nervous air that only you could really pick up on has disappeared
Very PDA, arm is always around you, probably not in the back pocket but if he's tipsy enough then boom it appears
Insists on going in the mines with you but saw a slime and wanted to dip so bad but you protected him <3
"Heh...I totally wasn't scared. Don't worry babe I'll protect you" nah boy
He feels his heart melt every time he sees you and Evelyn baking together, or her just acting like your grandma
Even George has become a grandpa figure, giving advice with alex or general things
Alex is secretly insecure about himself, but with you, he finds room to grow as a person and find that those worries are unwarranted
Though he doesn't say it often, you make him feel seen, and he truly appreciates that
Elliot
(Personal fav right now so I'm about to go OFF)
If you picked romance for his book he's imagining you both as the main characters
Not a complete parallel because he's like "can't be creepy" but a teensy bit
Speaking of "can't be creepy" he has written multiple sonnets about you since realizing his feelings
Unlike some of the other bachelors, he embraces his feelings more, using his passion to inspire his writing and other endeavors
Heavy on the gifts and courting stuff
Gives you love poems at least once a week he has so many piled up but he doesn't wanna go overboard
Says the sappiest things all the time with this love struck look in his eyes
PRETTIEST MANNNNN
Words of affirmation kinda guy, he's poetic like that
Leah pokes at him for being a simp but mans could not care less he's proud
Picks out pretty sea shells that wash up on the shore and gives them to you, and they're always intact!
Big fan of the flower dance and looks forward to getting to dance with you in front of the entire town! maybe your worst nightmare but he's just happy to show you off (and his dancing skills lol)
Speaking of which, mans is gonna teach you how to waltz and a bunch of other old timey dances
At some point he WILL show up in the pouring rain to profess his love, or give you flowers, or both
You're like "Elliot we're literally dating was this necessary and he's like "OF COURSE MY DEAR"
He'd love heartstopper
Harvey
Insert too sweet by Hozier
Silly little doctor guy tries to avoid you but can't help but be drawn to you
He sees you running around doing your daily tasks, and just watches you from afar from the window of the doctor's office
Maru notices and tells you to come in sometime cuz her boss ain't gonna get nowhere by himself
When you start coming in more often he can feel himself die of embarrassment when he fails to make interesting conversation
Is very worried about your health though and fusses when you pass out in the mines/street
He gets even more adamant about you taking care of yourself once he's confessed
Way less nervous though!
Looks at you with adoration eyes when you do anything
Tipsy Harvey is a cute Harvey because he starts spilling his guts on how often he thinks of you
Whenever you're not busy with work he appreciates you stopping by the office, just to talk about both of your days
He yaps to everyone about you btw
Doesn't mean to but when someone brings you up he's like "oh yes me and my partner love to-" or "my partner loves-" etc etc
I used to not be a fan but he's such a sweetiepie
Sam
"I just love a guy who plays guitar <3" - u @Sam
That's it
I JEST
Originally he's like "hey come and hang out with me, Sebastian, and Abigail"
Then you start coming over and it's just you both alone
He's not creepy about it, just wants to spend time with you one on one
Loves showing you the songs he works on and if you want he'll show you how to play guitar too!
He's also happy with how well you get along with Jodi, always trying to get you both to bond, it makes him feel nice that you feel like you're apart of the family
Once y'all are together he does sneak you in anytime he gets the chance
He'll text you like "come over" You : I've gotta be up at 6am Him : "PLZPLZPLZPLZ-"
OG golden retriever bf
You both go shopping at Joja at 3am for fun and goof off
Or go run around in the forest taking aesthetically pleasing pintrest photos
Sebastian
You can't tell me he's not an arctic monkeys kinda guy so insert R U Mine? By Arctic Monkeys
It took him time to warm up to you
When he did you became one of the few people he could hang out with after a long day of socializing and not feel drained around
I can see him doing things that aren't always super platonic and thinking he wants to do them because
"Platonically" holding your hand, cuddling, etc
At town events he stands all close to you, complaining about how much he hates it, but showing disappointment when you mention leaving
Everyone's like are y'all dating and he goes NO way too fast
When you both finally ARE together though he's actually much less affectionate and public, but it doubles when you're in the comfort of his basement room
Finds the most joy in keeping you trapped in his bed with him until noon when you say you should be working on your farm
Especially in the colder months, then you can also share his mom's pumpkin soup
He's almost catlike with his affection
Another guy you run around and take aesthetically pleasing pintrest photos with, but his are more grunge esk
"Accidentally" leaves his hoodies at your place but he likes seeing you in em
I imagine that the characters have those closets filled with the same outfit, so when you try and give him his stuff back he goes "nah" and whips out his 100th hoodie
Shane
PACK IT UP SAVIOUR COMPLEX I mean what who said that
After you rescue him from the depths of his depressive alcoholism, he feels guilty for having feelings for you
Part of it is because he's like "fuck do I actually like them or is it just cuz they basically saved my life" and partly because it feels painfully stereotypical
Not a lot changes, though he is a lot more open to you then he is with other people, even with Marnie
Helps out with your chickens when he has free time
Talks to them about his problems and once you almost walked in on him ranting about his feelings for you (bro was shook)
But once he's confessed, well, he's still insecure about some things, but accepts your help with stride
Jealous easily, but tries not to show it
Acts of service kinda guy, so if you need him to run an errand while you're swamped with farm work? He's on it
Pulls up to your farm with a bunch of snacks and a bag full of movies for you to pick from
He sets it up while you take a shower to wash all the grime and dirt off from a days work so you can just come and cozy up on the couch with him
You're also basically besties with Jas, such a sweet girl, always asks you to play jump rope with her
You both go "say no to drugs" to her l o l
Marnie is also now your bestie so even when she's not working you can get stuff from the shop #WIN
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I loooooove stardew valley it's so cool so great
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Day 4: Supportive Boyfriends
and for my next (LATE, SO LATE) @bucktommypositivityweek contribution. KITTEN FIC.
(read on ao3)
**
The 118 doesn't have a baby box.
In fact there aren't any in the state of California at all. Buck looked it up, after Maddie's postpartum episode. When half his family was missing and there wasn't much he could do besides wait and... think about things.
So he thought about safe haven laws. Read up on the training seminars for first responders who want to be better equipped to deal with hand-offs. Read a bunch of other stuff he sort of wishes he hadn't. Spent the next week haunted by articles about abandoned children.
He considered talking to Bobby about it. Only partly to ask him if they should get a box for the firehouse. Partly because Buck wasn't sure how he felt about the whole thing, and Bobby always seemed to have answers. But he never worked up the nerve to broach the subject.
And now. Bobby's not captain anymore, and Buck really can't imagine Gerrard giving a shit about any of this.
So, they don't have a box. But.
Well, this isn't a human baby. It's not like the same rules apply.
Buck has to wonder if wires got crossed somewhere, because. Someone left a kitten. Outside the firehouse.
Buck was just going to grab something—he can't remember what—from his Jeep, when he spotted an unlabelled cardboard box on the pavement, up against the side of the building. His first thought was bomb.
Until it meowed at him. A tiny, high-pitched peep of a meow.
Kind of scared the shit out of him, if he's being honest.
There's only one. All alone in the box. A poofy grey thing wriggling around half buried in an off-white towel. Like a very ambitious dust bunny with big round blue eyes and skinny legs. It wobbles slowly over a fold in the towel with all the effort of someone scaling a mountain.
Buck crouches next to the box, and pokes a finger inside.
"Hey, buddy," he murmurs, holding very still while the kitten inches towards his hand and squeaks. It's unclear whether there are teeth in that little maw. That means it's really young, right? Too young to be left alone for very long.
Shit, how is he going to explain this to Gerrard? He's still got, like, 12 hours left on his shift, but someone has to feed this thing. How long can kittens go without food?
Oh, it does have teeth. Really teeny ones. They're ineffectively poking his knuckle.
Buck fishes his phone out of his jacket—with the hand that isn't currently being drooled on—intending to go to Google for answers. How to figure out how old a kitten is. How often do kittens need to be fed. Do cats get separation anxiety. He has a million questions.
Only he doesn't pull up his browser. He calls Tommy.
It's a whim. Barely a seed of an idea. But when he unlocked his phone the first thing he saw was their text history (he'd been complaining about Gerrard off-and-on all morning, and Tommy had been sending random updates about all the chores he'd been getting done—his last message was a picture of a mop with no context) and he just thought... Tommy will know what to do. Not in so many words, more a feeling. Comfort and certainty, just from seeing Tommy's picture in a little bubble at the top of his screen.
"Evan?" Tommy answers almost immediately, and there's a subtle undercurrent of worry in his tone. Buck winces. Right, calling out of the blue while he's at work would look. Bad.
"I'm okay!" He says quickly, all in one breath. Then pauses. The kitten squints up at him, meowing again, long and loud. Its whole fluffy face scrunches with the effort.
"...What was that?"
"Uh. That would be why I called, actually."
Gerrard is less of an obstacle than Buck feared he'd be. Because he's holed up in his office doing paperwork when Buck sneaks in with the kitten, and Buck's decided he has no intention of letting him know the cat was ever here.
Tommy promised he'd come get her.
Buck didn't even really ask, and wasn't planning on asking. Didn't have any plan whatsoever, in fact. He just wanted to know if Tommy knew anything about taking care of kittens, and suddenly Tommy's voluntarily sacrificing the rest of his day off to scope out vets and pet supply stores and whatever else Buck's helpless little friend might need.
He hung up hours ago and his insides still feel warm and goopy about it. He can't stop thinking about the gentle fondness that softened Tommy's voice after Buck explained the situation. Buck would wrap himself up in it like a blanket if he could.
Tommy's getting so kissed when he shows up.
In the meantime, Buck's sitting upstairs, working his way through the dozen or so tabs he opened up after googling kitten care.
He thinks the one he found might be around three weeks old (ears not quite unfurled, can't sheathe claws yet, legs unsteady but mobile). And possibly a girl. She did not care for being picked up and turned over, and the indignant squirming made it difficult to tell what's going on down there. But he's almost certain he's right.
She was shrieking up a storm about it, and he was worried if he took any longer she'd alert Gerrard. (She didn't. She did, however, draw the attention of about half the firehouse.)
"You are disgustingly cute," Chimney coos, scratching under her chin with the tip of one finger. She's lifted her head as high as she can and her eyes are squinted happily. Buck can hear her purring from across the room. "Yes you are. Hen, can you get a picture of this?"
Hen pulls out her phone. "Sure... why?" She asks, leaning over his shoulder to snap a picture and eye him with mild suspicion.
"Jee. She'll wanna see when I tell her about my day."
Her expression softens to a smile. "I'll text it to you." She taps her screen a couple times. "Just had to make sure you weren't planning on calendar campaigning again."
Chimney grins. "Nah, my calendar days are behind me. The only person who gets shirtless pictures of me now is my wife."
"Gross," Buck says without conviction. He narrows his eyes at the site he's scrolling through, swiping away a Join Our Mailing List! popup. "You guys don't think she's cold do you? Are her ears warm? It's only, like, 70 today and we don't know how long she was out there."
Hen and Chim exchange glances, and then, disturbingly in sync, look from the cat to Buck. Chim gives her ear a perfunctory poke, which she does not appreciate as much as chin scritches, "She's fine, man."
Hen waves a hand at Buck when he opens his mouth again, "We're medical professionals. And in my medically professional opinion. She's fine."
"Okay, but—"
"Hey guys, look who stopped b—uhhh. Is that a cat?" Eddie slows to a stop at the top of the stairs, blinking at the kitten on the couch. "When did we get a cat?"
"Couple hours ago," Buck says, still frowning at Hen and Chimney. "Where have you been?"
"I found him polishing the engine."
Buck shoots out of his seat. "Tommy!"
He only half-hears Eddie muttering, "Favouritism," as he scuttles around the chair to meet Tommy halfway between the stairs and the sitting area. Tommy has just enough time to smile—and it warms Buck, like it always does, with a spark caught in his chest for safekeeping—and say hi before Buck's on him, palms clapped on either side of his face, smushing their lips together.
He makes a bit of a show of it, dramatically swooping in, because he knows the big smacking MWAH will make Tommy laugh, and he likes the way that feels rumbling against his chest.
Buck taps their noses together. "Hey," he says, savouring the mirth sparkling in Tommy's eyes for a second before kissing him again, properly this time.
His brain goes sort of fuzzy when Tommy's palm cups the back of his neck.
Someone in the distance wolf-whistles.
When they finally come up for air Tommy asks, "What was that for?" a little breathlessly, which is doing things to Buck.
"Mmn...y'know. For being you."
Tommy raises his eyebrows, kiss-reddened lips curling fondly. "Okay."
"Hey, Tommy. Good to see you," Chim calls in a very pointed way.
Right, public setting. Workplace. Friends watching. Buck exhales slowly, and tries to think about anything other than how much he wants to bite that bit of clavicle peeking out of the collar of Tommy's shirt. Like the fact that Tommy's hands are warm, and he's sort of rubbing his fingertips over the short stubbly bits of hair on the back of Buck's head, and Buck's lips are still tingling a little, and—no wait, not that either.
Tommy pulls away first, which is probably for the best, but also very sad. The corner of his mouth twitches like he can see Buck thinking it. He curls his index finger and gently taps Buck's chin with the knuckle before he turns to the group.
"Howie," he says, not even pretending to be contrite in the face of Chim's mock-judgement. "Hen."
"Tommy." Hen fails to contain her smirk.
Some time during all the kissing, Eddie moved over to the couch. He's sat next to the kitten, watching her attempt to groom her paw with all the grace of a toddler who's only a little bit sure they know how to hold a brush. She keeps starting and stopping at random intervals, sometimes licking the cushion beside her, sometimes sticking her tongue out at thin air.
She's so cute it makes Buck's chest hurt. It's a little much while he's still loopy from making out with his boyfriend.
Then Tommy goes and crouches next to the couch so he can get eye-level with the kitten while she sniffs his hand, talking to her all calm and soft with smile-lines crinkling his cheeks, and. Buck might need to lie down for a bit. Like, on top of Tommy, preferably.
The kitten seems to like him too, and he really can't blame her when she crawls up Tommy's sleeve to perch on his shoulder.
She looks so much smaller cuddled up on Tommy. He reaches up to steady her, and she's almost entirely obscured by his hand.
God, is it wrong that he's getting a little hot under the collar about that? He just looks so strong and competent and at the same time, like, gentle. Buck knows how it feels to be touched tenderly by those hands, and apparently just seeing it happen does not affect him any less. In fact it's only added dimensions to his desires.
"I should probably get going," Tommy says, bringing Buck back down to Earth with a resounding splat.
He opens his mouth to protest, then closes it. He's right. The last thing Buck wants is for Tommy to have another run-in with Gerrard, and they don't know how long the old bastard's gonna be occupied.
"Mhm, run while you still can," Chimney pipes up. "Before our dear old captain smells an opportunity to ruin someone's day."
"He does seem to have a sixth sense for that," Eddie adds sullenly. Buck makes a note to ask him what that was about. Later.
"I'll walk you out," Buck says, trying not to sound like a pouting child. He's fairly certain he fails, because Tommy laces their fingers together and gives his hand a comforting squeeze.
He says his goodbyes, the whole time being careful not to dislodge the kitten while she crawls across his shoulders.
Buck goes through the list of kitten care basics he memorized as they make their way to the parking lot. It's...more than he thought it was, honestly. It starts to feel overwhelming as he goes on, and on, and on. He's running out of time to get it all out, and he feels like it's just now sinking in his huge this responsibility that he's dumping in Tommy's lap is.
"You're sure you don't mind taking her?" The question bursts out of Buck before they make it to Tommy's car. "W-we didn't really, I mean. We talked about it over the phone, but..."
"Yeah, now that I've seen her she does seem like a real handful."
The kitten yawns, and curls up into a tiny grey ball in the crook of Tommy's neck.
Well. Alright.
"It's just, t-they need a lot of attention when they're that young, and I kinda just, just dropped this on you."
"Evan." Tommy gives him a look. "Are you worried that you baby-trapped me?"
Okay, when he puts it like that. Maybe a little bit. But also now he's having complicated yearning feelings that he really should not be having this early in the relationship.
Buck's pretty sure he looks like a deer in the headlights right now, because Tommy's doing his damnedest to pretend he isn't laughing at him.
He tugs Buck's hand, leading him the rest of the way to his car.
The backseat is full of cat stuff. Containers of milk-replacement powders, and a shiny plastic litter box, and toys, so many toys, baggies of fake mice and feathery things, just. So much stuff. Piles of it.
"I called up a friend who used to foster kittens. She had a lot of advice. And then I got a little carried away."
"I, uh. See that," Buck laughs breathlessly.
"Over the phone, you sounded like this meant a lot to you? And I think I got really attached to the idea of...this. Taking care of her for you. With you." He sounds hesitant, like he's trying not to say too much, and Buck can't stand it—
"I love you so much," he says in a rush.
"Well, good," Tommy purses his lips around a smile, eyes bright and crinkled at the corners. He reaches up to his shoulder, like he's absent-mindedly checking to see if the kitten's still there. "Wouldn't want her to grow up in a broken home."
Buck huffs a laugh.
"And I love you too."
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shanastoryteller · 15 hours
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Meg is the first choice, of course, but she’s not suited to this type of long term mission and they all know it. The problem is, almost none of them are. The nature of the beast, she supposes.
That’s why it ends up being her, in the end. Well, it’s almost Ruby, but there’s one thing she has that Ruby doesn’t.
How she ended up here in the first place.
She thought Clyde loved her. She thought he’d take her away, from her father and her terrible life, and so when he died too young, before he could fulfill any of his promises, she’d sold her soul to bring him back.
But he hadn’t kept a single promise. She’d died in her father’s house.
“You remember being in love, don’t you?” he asks, cruel in his callousness, which is different than his other types of cruelty. It’s all he has, shining out in a thousand different ways. “You’ll be better at faking it.”
All she does is fake it.
“Yes,” she says.
This mission gets her topside. It’s worth it for that alone.
~
She slips into a pretty blonde named Rebecca first but by the end of the day, the girl’s screaming has given her a headache, and she slips right back out. She’ll probably just think she had a bad trip.
He’d offered to arrange something for her, but she wanted to pick herself, and she’s not interested in having someone crying and moaning in the back of her mind. But it’s not like there are a lot of options.
She could kill one, of course. But she’s never – she hasn’t been topside, before. Everything she’s killed before had already been dead. So she hovers for the next week, looking for some sort of opportunity, for something she can use that’s not going to scream at her.
The day before she’s going to have to either pick someone or risk being sent back, there’s a car accident.
The girl’s heart is still and her body’s warm, blood pooling down her head, but that’s nothing she can’t fix. She settles into the body, jumpstarting the heart and can feel the skin on her head knitting back together. It’s also blessedly, thankfully silent, with her the only one inside this body. The driver who hit her is dead and people are crowding in, a crying girl pulling her free. “Anne! Anne, are you okay, oh my god, I can’t believe that happened-”
She wrinkles her nose before smoothing out her expression.
The name will have to go. She’ll say she’s reinventing herself after tragedy, or something, but she’s not going to walk around responding to Anne. That’s not her name.
Anne’s a sophomore, which isn’t ideal, but she’s beautiful and doesn’t have that many friends and barely talks to her family, so she’s actually perfect.
She’s also blonde.
She’d been blonde before too.
~
All the demons who had run these sort of missions before give her advice, tell her things that will help her. Some of their assignments had lasted months, but no one’s tried to do it for as long as she’s supposed to.
He likes smart girls.
Be confident. Be flirty. He’s shyer than he looks.
He never had a mother. He likes it when girls take care of him.
He likes to take care of girls too. He wants to feel useful.
She’d had dreams, before, of all the ways she’d could escape her father. It wasn’t common for girls to get more than a basic education, but she’d been smart. She could read and do complicated sums and enjoyed the quiet evenings when she balanced her father’s books. She’d thought she might like an advanced education, thought it could get her out of her life, but hadn’t known how to manage it.
Clyde had seemed easier. More attainable. More realistic.
She’d sold her soul for nothing in the end. She hadn’t even got the full ten years of her bargain.
She doesn’t know how much of their advice she can take.
She can be smart, but considering the school they’re at, all the girls will be smart. She hadn’t been confident or flirty, which is maybe why she’d latched onto the first boy who smiled at her. She never had a mother herself and doesn’t know to act like one.
She’s never been taken care of and doesn’t know how to do that either.
There’s no way for her to do this. She’s going to be replaced and sent back below and he’ll be angry at her and she hates hates hates when he’s angry at her, what he does to her.
“Are you okay?”
She looks up, something cold on her tongue, but falters.
He’s standing there, warm hazel eyes and long dark hair, hunching to try and make himself smaller, and a smile on his face that does nothing to hide his concern.
“Do you ever feel like,” she starts, her dead stolen heart beating too quickly, “everything is falling apart around you and you have no idea what you’re doing and like maybe your whole life is one huge mistake?”
Well, fuck. She’s definitely being replaced now.
Except Azazel’s favorite throws back his head and laughs, smile stretching into a grin. “Every day of my life, more or less.”
“How do you deal with it?” she asks, scrubbing a hand over her face.
He shrugs. “Well, my brother would say women and liquor.” He seems to realize how that sounds a moment later and he pales, “Um, not that I’m – I’m not saying, I wasn’t trying to. He’s just sort of a cad, and – I wasn’t trying to, with you, uh.”
She feels herself softening in spite of herself. “So you’re not one to apply that method yourself?”
“No,” he says firmly, eyes wide. “God, I’m just – I’m sorry. I – I’m Sam.”
“Hi Sam,” she returns, with a smile she doesn’t have to fake. “I’m Jess.”
~
She’s not supposed to fall in love with him.
She’s to worm his way to his side. She’s to keep him from running back to his family, to keep him from rebuilding the bridges he’s burned. She’s to keep him distracted and focused on her until his powers activate and then she’s to guide him into using them, to be supportive and loving and to push him straight into Azazel’s arms.
Sam loves his family so much.
He talks of his brother all the time. His father less, the emotions there more tangled, but love no less fierce.
She nudges him away from it, talks to him about how it’s normal for families to grow apart, to say that they’ll understand when he graduates, that he’ll show them they type of man that he is.
By the time he graduates, his powers will start manifesting, and he’ll avoid his family without her prodding. He knows what they’ll think of him, then, and Jess tells herself that she’s helping him. That this is for Sam’s own good.
If he’s with her, then he’s safe. His father won’t kill him while he’s safe at school. He can’t kill Sam for powers that he’ll never know about.
It’s easy to dig into the anger for his father, to use his last words to Sam as a way to hold him at her side. His brother is more difficult. Jess doesn’t do much with that, in the end, tells herself that it would be too complicated, too suspicious, and as long Dean is sticking with their father it amounts to same thing anyway.
The truth is more complicated.
His father will kill Sam if he has to.
She doesn’t think that his brother will. She thinks that maybe he’d choose to protect Sam, over their father’s wishes, over everything he’d been taught, no matter the consequences.
She fears that she and Dean have a lot in common.
She invites Sam over for holidays, makes summer plans with him, holds as much of his attention as she can manage.
She studies and makes friends and laughs and spends so much time with him, but not all of it. It has to be believable after all, has to be constant, in a way that it didn’t have to be with all the other demons sent to take care of him.
Jess lives a life that had been denied to her and tries to do what she was sent to do and does the one thing she was definitely not supposed to do, which is fall in love with Sam Winchester.
~
His brother shows up in their apartment and she knows that she’s going to lose him.
Sam tries to act angry, but she knows him too well. He’s moving around his brother like a flower following the sun and she asks him not to go, tries to find the words to keep him here, but they all get caught in her throat. If she begged, if she threw a fit, if she demanded it of him, he would stay. He’d tell his brother he’s sorry but he’d stay with her and not help him and burn their relationship for good. He loves her enough to do that for her. She knows it.
She loves him enough not to make him.
He kisses her and she knows it’ll be the last time. He doesn’t.
“What did that take, five minutes?” Azazel is right there, breath on the back of her neck, and his anger fury rage pressing down on her even closer. “Over three years at his side and you lost him in five minutes. What a waste.”
“I kept him for over three years,” she says, tries to keep her voice steady, but knows she fails.
She had him for over three years.
“Not good enough,” he whispers, lips on the shell of her ear. “Guess I’ll have to send Meg in after all.”
Pain erupts hot across her stomach and her screams mix with his laughter.
~
Love always burns her in the end.
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desireangel · 12 hours
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Dark Cherry [4] | Aemond Targaryen
Aemond Targaryen x Fem!Reader
Summary: after months of a marriage that hardly harbours the passion that you'd dreamed about, you stumble across the reason for your husband's indifference and decide enough is enough. Aemond will learn just exactly what he's been missing out on.
Word Count: 5.5k
Warnings: MDNI 18+!! canon divergence!!! I fucked the timeline and nigly bits bc this was an impulse fic ok soooo it was mostly unplanned, almost smut, angst, let the grovelling happen babyyy, unedited, mention of alys x aemond but not in a good way :((, infidelity, talk of sex, guilt, mentions of Aegon x reader, hmmm I ramble, little vulnerable Aemond, bad language, let me know if I've missed anything!
Author's note: y'all I was never done with that man like there's no easy out for him :llll. Anyways I wrote most of this instead of studying which I needed to do. Perhaps I'll have my hand at another idea I'm cooking before part 5 but I'm alsoooo unsure about how keen we are to keep this one going - like is it getting too much??? either way, I enjoy writing this. and idk how to shut up, clearly, because I love that internal mind talk shit. Drop your thoughts in my inbox or PM me because I love to yap!!! xoxo, kisses!!! <3
Masterlist
-
He was a fool. A spoiled, arrogant and entitled fool. You often thought about whether Aemond actually recognised the effect of his actions on anyone else. It was always ‘I did it for us’ or ‘I did it because I had to do it’.
So after your confrontation the day before, it had surprised you that Aemond had truly believed he was forgiven. Maybe it shouldn’t have. You had, after all, sat beside him and laughed with him. Shared a moment as if things were better. But it was nothing more than a lighthearted acknowledgement that whatever game was being played was entirely ridiculous yet you could feel how something had changed. There was a newfound intensity between the two of you and Aemond had clearly understood that he had made a mistake
But that wouldn't be enough for forgiveness. Things would never really be the same. You will never forget. The nameless woman had made a home in your unconscious mind and everything would remind you of the woman your husband had chosen to take to bed over you. She was beautiful, she was experienced and free of burden. Based on that alone a part of you could see why she could have been a better choice–a part of you that ached and pained ceaselessly. 
And you weren’t sure you could carry on as if Aemond hadn’t thrown your entire world into the pits of ruin. Because that is exactly what he may as well have done. All you had was your marriage to him–a fact that was as painful as it was true. If it all fell apart because of him only you would suffer from it. 
Your name, your family’s name. A Lady born to a house of remarkably lowly nobility with little more than your marriage to the prince. A charity case marriage to tell the realm’s people that the Crown was not so prejudiced as to be above uniting with the likes of your house. That the Lannisters and Baratheons were important but they were not everything. A fabrication only made necessary to cover up the fact that it was a lie–the Targaryens (and even the Hightowers as you had come to realise) really did believe they were of better blood. 
A failure to fulfil your duty to the Targaryen crown as Prince Aemond’s wife would destroy your family name. And you would have no prospect of happiness after it. What else did you have aside from this?
Aemond would never understand that. Because not only was he a man but he was a prince. A privilege, a safety and a security he had inherited through birth. 
Aside from the pressures of society, he had hurt you. Badly. 
Despite your own confliction about it, you did have love for Aemond–how could you not? Love came from many things and while yours may have come from your dependance on his word, on the duty he performed to be your protector as he was to the Crown and its subjects, on his polite affections as limited as they were, it still found its way into your heart. Perhaps it was foolish to allow it entry into your existence when you had already known that there was no love to come from Aemond. 
It didn’t change anything. Betrayed your trust, taken you for granted and destroyed the sanctity of a husband’s loyalty as if he were as dishonourable as any other Lord. 
You would never say it out loud but it had broken your heart. And heartache is a consuming, suffocating and painful thing to feel. A constant lump in your throat, something always weighing your chest down, a disastrous, aching discomfort in your belly. Tears had stained your pillow at night and dried by the morning, the fabric of the linen acquiring the same unphased facade that you would wear as you plastered on a mask of ignorance so that you could continue to live through your day. 
All because you had wanted him. Aemond, who was doomed to disappoint and destroy merely because that is all that princes do. 
For him to have mistaken your truce–the end to the back and forth game that had been wreaking havoc in its wake-as forgiveness was infuriating. He had no idea. 
Well, maybe he did. Now that he had seen you with another just as you had seen him. And you recognised your own experience in the moment he had realised what was happening. 
Aemond’s call to breakfast made you want to laugh. But you had turned him down for afternoon tea just the day before only to be found swallowing his brother’s seed. You winced at the shamefulness of your thought, muttering a quick prayer for the sake of your piety whether it was genuine or not. 
He was seated lazily in the chair he favoured, an array of food spread across the table. There was a book in his hand. The same one he had taken from you the last time you had shared your morning meal together. Aemond had a smirk playing on his lips. 
You cleared your throat, curtsying before sitting down at the other end of the table to him and with as much distance between you as you could muster. “Good morrow, my Prince,”
“Formalities, I see,” He looked at you through his lashes. It was odd seeing him so relaxed, the tension that was always in his shoulders had been lost and there was a playful glint to his eye. You wanted to smack it out. “I believed we were past titles and distance for the sake of propriety, my sweet. As well as rigid greetings.”
All you responded with was a stare. 
Dropping the book to his side, Aemond sighed and leaned forward, pouring tea into a cup. He stood, taking a couple steps forward to hand it to you. “We have fixed-”
“We have fixed nothing.”
“I am trying to turn a new leaf,” he commanded. You took the cup and saucer from his hand, the warm waft of vanilla and rose giving you a slight reprieve from the threat that rolled off his tongue. “If you do not recall, dear wife, I as well have every reason to resent you. The image of you sucking on my useless brother’s cock is not one I can easily bare. Yet I have chosen to let it be. I could have easily decided otherwise.”
“That would make you a hypocrite.” You glanced at him over the rim of your teacup. 
“It does not matter much if I am a hypocrite, does it?” Aemond sat, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees. He wasn’t bothered with the food in front of him, focused solely on you. “I hardly see how that would change anything.”
You squirmed under the intensity of his stare, picking up a cherry from the bowl of fruits and rolling the stem between your fingers. “It matters to me. Certainly, it matters for your reputation among the smallfolk. Nobody cares for a selfish prince, my dear.”
Aemond hummed, smirking at the venom you spat at him. You noticed the coin that he rolled between his fingers, nimble and thoughtless as if it were like breathing. Not so much a nervous habit but a thoughtful one. 
He couldn’t lie and say that he didn’t enjoy your confidence. It was refreshing. But there was a dip in his gut at the thought that there was no hope for the two of you. Aemond, ever logical, knew he had no one else to blame but himself with his lack of foresight and failure to see beyond the now and here. 
Because Aemond had not even considered how things would go on should you not forgive him. He had assumed that you would if not merely on the basis that there was little lost from a relationship that hardly existed in the first place. You had love for him and he was so convinced that such a thing would be impossible that he didn’t consider that it would cause you heartache beyond slighted offence and jealousy. 
A violet eye lingered on the cherry that remained between your fingers. Aemond was good at putting on an act. He thought for a moment that he would rather take lashes to his back than have you know that he had no idea how to love someone properly. A part of him was persuaded that he was incapable of being a good lover. The lashes seemed like a blissful gift compared to the self-loathing that simmered in his belly at the probability that he had ruined any chance your marriage had of recovery.  
It crossed his mind that it was his ignorance towards you right from the beginning that had damned your relationship. 
Either way, it did not help that you had turned to his brother for intimacy. Aemond felt his blood scorch whenever that invaded his mind. He wanted to crumble the walls of this fortress when he wondered if Aegon had enjoyed your womanhood. Jealousy did motivate him well, he realised, and Aemond had the murderous urge to feed Aegon to Vhagar. 
Nonetheless, he feigned amusement. “It seems as if you care for one.”
You ate the cherry. It was sweet and rich. All you replied with was an upturn of your chin as you gracefully held a small embroidered towel to your lips.
“So I am not forgiven?” Aemond had to break the silence before it cut him open. “Are we not even?”
Narrowing your eyes at him, you held back a surprised laugh. “You never apologised. Not that it would make any difference.”
“That does not answer my question.”
“Of course you are not forgiven,” you sighed. The tea cup hit the table with a clang. Your disdain for his actions and his ignorance gave you an unfettered confidence around him which you weren’t accustomed to. It made it very difficult to control yourself. “And no, we are not even, my Prince. And since you have brought it to my attention, I am of half a mind to find Aegon and offer him a meal between my thighs. You see, I have often wondered how it would feel and I expect that our King would be happy to indulge my… curiosities.”
Aemond sneered, a silent one that was more visible in his intake of a breath, the curl of his lips and the hardening of his eye. Bullseye. 
It took him less than a couple seconds to be on his knees in front of where you sat, a strong hand tightly gripping each side of your thighs over the thick fabrics of your dress. He had shoved the table aside, unphased as tea spilled and fruits and cheeses toppled to the floor. Something in the look of bewilderment on your face had Aemond ready to both grin at your clueless innocence and frown at your shock.
Aemond didn’t let himself dwell on the fact that you had given up on expecting such pleasures from him. He was your husband; nothing about what he was clearly intending on doing to you should surprise you. Cursing himself to perdition would not be enough for how he has failed you. 
“I feel obliged to remind you that we had agreed,” he grazed his nose across your knees, looking up at you through his eyelashes, jaw clenched tight as he all but growled his words. “That there will be no more of this foolishness. Not from you and not from me.”
It was an onslaught of different things that had rendered you still and silent. The way Aemond looked at you like you were the only satiating force for his eternal hunger, the wordless mixture of desire and anger in how his fingers dug into the flesh of your thighs, the desperation in his voice, strained by the fear that you would. Or was it the overwhelming feeling that Aemond was finally taking some accountability and that maybe he recognised not what his actions were but the meaning that they carried?
For a moment Aemond just looked at you, conflicted and fragmented and unguarded. The sight of him like this reminded you of a vulnerable child. But it didn’t last long before the menacing, cautionary glint was back in his eye, his posture becoming rigid as shuffled the fabrics of your skirts. 
A new kind of anxiety overcame you. Not like the insignificant nervousness you had felt that night when you had wandered into his chambers or used his leg to make yourself peak and not like the clueless apprehension with Aegon. It formed a ball in your chest and made it hard to breathe. 
There was no chance he would ever admit it but you could see Aemond’s vulnerability and desperation within the hardened facade he had perfected. He wanted nothing more than to seem strong and powerful at all times, worthy of acclaim and reverence. But here he was, willing to stay on his knees and worship you forever, all under the pretence of rageful infatuation. 
It was too hot. Even with the cool of the shadows cast by the dark net curtains that only let in enough daylight to see clearly and not enough to cause Aemond irritation from sensitivity in his eye, it was so warm you worried you would have to rip the sleeves off of your dress.
You were snapped out of your thoughts when Aemond let out a soft, dark groan, running his fingers across the expanse of your legs over your stockings, your skirts already bunched at your hips. Skin burning at his touch, you couldn’t help the way you whined and squeezed your thighs together, squirming under the intensity of his gaze. 
His voice was heavy with the burden of lust and regret. “I will be better. In all the ways that I have failed you and more. Your forgiveness, I realise, is not as easily granted as I presumed but I will show you that I am worthy of it.” 
There was a moment of weakness in your mind before you caught yourself. You didn’t quite believe him. It had clearly been too easy for him to give you empty promises and there was no reason why things would be different now. 
It was odd. Seeing Aemond weak like this. 
What would it mean if you let him continue? It was clearly different this time. You couldn’t put it into words exactly but there was a rawness, a blitz of different emotions that set things ablaze and made you want to both weep and mewl for him. 
You couldn’t spare a thought about why it was different. Aemond was right there, a weaponised Prince on his knees for you, a lowly Lady with nothing more to offer him than yourself. Since when did you hold all this power over him? 
That night in his bedchambers and last night when you had shared a laugh despite everything that had unfolded felt detached in a way. When you had allowed yourself release over his leg it was simply that. A way to ease the tension he had put in your body and a way to leave him wanting.
Aemond’s eye swam with a tenderness you had not seen from him. He continued to look up at you waiting to gauge your response. It was a slight nod of your head which had his hands tearing at the soft fabric of your stockings, his lips instantly meeting the skin of your knees before you had the chance to even gasp. All the while, he kept his eye on you as if his heart would cease to beat if he could not watch the way you reacted to him. 
It became increasingly harder to breathe. There were so many thoughts, so many sensations that you struggled to put it all together. Your flushed with anticipation, your cunt throbbed at the wet plushness of his lips on your hot skin and your hips squirmed at what was to come. 
Your mind, however, flashed with the image of Aemond, exactly as he was now, between another woman’s thighs. A woman who didn’t flinch at the unfamiliar touch, who didn’t jerk away at the foreign feeling of being pleasured. You wondered if he would be so angered at the prospect of another man’s mouth on her womanhood, if her skin felt softer or more rough on his lips and if he looked at her with the same heated need.
It made you feel sick. 
Aemond let himself enjoy the way your thighs tensed, pulling your smallclothes off of you as much as carefully as he could under the restriction of your skirts. There was an urge to rip the entire dress off but he knew it would be a step too far. He couldn’t help the low sounds that left him, sounds he couldn’t recognise. The expanse of your thighs and the sight of your flushed, hot cunt in front of him made his mouth water with a hunger that would have shocked him had he not been so distracted by your scent. 
Without complete vision, Aemond had learned to train his sense of touch, taste, smell and hearing to make up for the disadvantage he was stuck with. They were always slightly heightened compared to those who never needed the compensation of senses but in the cloud of desire and lust, he was sensitive. 
You whined at the way his tongue glided over your skin, biting down hard but not hard enough to be painful on the flesh of your upper thigh so close to where you needed to feel him. But Aemond was always remarkably patient and he merely made way to your other leg, repeating his ministrations and licking you from your knee to where he bit you at your thigh. 
The haze that had possessed you made you lose track of your thoughts so easily. Still, they fought their way to the forefront of your mind at every chance they could and you were reminded of her. 
Aemond’s mind was overwhelmed by you. There was no power in the realm that could make him think of anything else, not with the way you were trembling under his feathered touch and making such beautiful sounds for him, and not when he desired for anyone else apart from you. 
A heavy breath of shame and excitement tumbled out of you at how lewdly he dragged the tip of his nose across your thigh, pressing it into the flesh that sat above your slick, aching cunt and inhaling. You clenched around nothing, your clit twitching at the sound of Aemond’s unabashed groan. 
He grasped at your hips and your legs, his fingers burying into your flesh and tugging as if there would never be enough of you in his hands. It would have driven you into a similarly desperate state had things been different. 
The prince between your thighs was a sight to behold. Aemond’s skin was flushed pink, his eyepatch slightly out of place and his hair tousled from the way your legs clenched and unclenched against his head. He was almost drooling, mumbling about how good you smelled and how perfect and pretty your cunt was for him. His cock had never been so hard, constricted by the stiff leather of his training attires. 
Aemond enjoyed being a tease but there was only so much he could handle himself. While he wanted you to crave for him the way he was craving you so unbearably, Aemond needed to taste you. He needed to make you feel the blinding pleasure he should have been giving you at every chance he had since the night you were married. He needed to show you the ways of unbridled human desire and to show you all the ways your body could come undone and fall apart only to feel completely whole and fulfilled. 
There was no changing the past but Aemond would make up for how completely inattentive he had been. He would show you all the more fervently. When Aemond placed an open mouthed kiss just above your slit, letting a string of his spit glide off of his tongue onto your sensitive pussy, you shuddered.
All at once your mind was once again taken over by unsavoury thoughts. It had your eyes welling with tears, a familiar lump lodging in your throat, threatening to come out in a devastated sob. There was a ringing in your ears and you were back at Aemond’s door, peeking in only to see him giving that woman the same touch he was giving you right now. He had seemed so enthralled by her and the way she must have tasted. It was as if he’d been there before, indulging in her with so much passion it rivalled how eagerly touched you in this moment. 
Did her smell fill his veins with fire as yours was? Did her scent alone make his cock as painfully hard as yours did? Did her cunt drip for him the way yours did? Was the hunger in his eye shining for her too?
It was terrifying to consider. 
Aemond would spend hours here, he had decided. His duties for the day could be damned to the hells for all he cared. There was a rumbling in his chest for what he saw in front of him, inviting him to indulge and filling his mind with senseless ardour. Aemond let himself enjoy just the scent of you, his eye fluttering shut and his nose gently resting above your folds as he breathed you in, caressing your thighs softly with his hands. As if he were starved for years, Aemond salivated and with no patience left within him, he brought his lips downwards to meet the precious cunt he had been dreaming of. 
With a whimper that you couldn’t hold back, you jerked away from him. Aemond pulled away in surprise, his gaze full of confusion and lust and insecurity. “Wait, my love—“
You had slipped free of his grasp, a strangled cry escaping no matter how hard you tried to keep it in. There was one tear that slipped free, followed by countless more and you couldn’t look at him anymore, couldn’t bear to see that he was hurt before scrambling away from him. 
She was stuck in your mind. The memory of Aemond’s little trysts with her replaying behind your eyes no matter how hard you tried to shut it out. It was clear that there was nothing you could do to get ahold of yourself because everytime you looked at him, so enthralled in you and your sex, she was there. 
Laughing at you in the back of your mind, as if she had taken residence in a permanent place in your head, enjoying the state of despair and madness she and Aemond had led you to. 
But she couldn’t be in your head. Not really. Not in the way it felt she was. 
You barely glanced back at Aemond through your tears, struggling to even your breathing and calm the rapid beating of your heart. He hadn’t moved much; just simply stayed there frowning at the space that you had once occupied on the chair. 
There was nothing he could do to change things. Aemond knew that as well as you did. But there was a pain in your heart at the way he looked so defeated, so guilty that it almost seemed like he would melt into a puddle of remorse. A far stretch from the usual stoic warrior that you had known him as.
“My prince, I–” you swallowed, your voice catching when he looked up at you with a wide eye and furrowed eyebrows. For a moment you remembered that he had no right - but he was trying, was he not? “I cannot continue with this knowing that you had touched her like this. It angers me and it upsets me and it pains me to think of it but ‘tis beyond my control.”
He stayed silent, observing the way you hid yourself from him and struggled to meet his gaze. There was a sullen look to you, one you had not entered with and it stuck needles in his flesh to think that he had been the cause of it. Aemond’s entire body felt hot and he was itching to tear off his leathers. He wished the gods would strike him down as he was for hurting you so.
You had turned away, disappearing from his quarters swiftly. You would never forget the image of how you had left him there–it was both satisfying and devastating. 
Aemond, still on his knees for the ghost of you, his expression tortured and his shoulders tensed. It was a pathetic sight, should anyone stumble upon it, but you considered it beautiful. Beautiful in a lethal, catastrophic manner. Not unlike himself; a weaponised source of destruction who had a tendency to bring torment upon those he loved. 
The rest of your day had been spent alone in your chambers. You hadn’t cried so much over any of it until now. The tears and sobs that you had held inside of yourself for weeks had forced themselves out, along with the emotions you had pushed down until you could no longer. 
Aemond had a certain control while you were sitting in that seat, skirts bunched to your stomach and quivering for him to have his way. Regardless, the power was still yours and you knew that it was Aemond who was wrapped tightly around your finger at that moment. He would have listened to anything you had said–done anything you had told him to do. 
Perhaps you had become too stubborn in your anger to have let yourself feel anything else. A retributive anger; one that sprouted from the lack of love that existed in your marriage and reached a climax at Aemond’s brazen adultery. And it only grew stronger in whatever back and forth Aemond had encouraged by dangling his whore in front of your face. 
Whatever it was, you were feeling so much more now than you had before. 
Or perhaps it was because you could see that Aemond was remorseful. He would never yet admit it but you knew from the way he had behaved since you had visited him in his bed. It was no act of redemption and definitely no apology but it was impossible to ignore the change in him. You had never seen Aemond the way you had seen him this morning. 
Vulnerable, gentle, tormented. 
A knock on your door had you sniffling and wiping away any tear stains that may have lingered on your cheeks. You had stopped crying for some time but the need to wallow and lament had stayed. When you called out to ask, the guard at your door notified you of the Dowager Queen’s presence. 
Oh, seven hells. 
There was really no chance you could refuse her so you merely let her in and called a servant to bring some refreshments. Queen Alicent sat herself down but remained tense, carefully watching you as you took a place beside her. 
“Have you been crying?” Her concern was comforting. “I believe I know why.”
You straightened, not meeting the eye of the woman who reached a tender hand to your knee. Hiding behind a forced smile, you let out a breathy laugh. “I am certain the entirety of the Red Keep knows, Your Grace.”
“It has been known for some time,” Alicent was gentle, her cautionary gaze telling you that she was apprehensive about bringing her son’s misadventures up. You held your breath. “Since the first time he had summoned that Alys woman-”
“Alys? Is that her name?”
“You do not know?” There was a tense silence. Alicent couldn’t meet your gaze, pity swimming across her features. Aemond was her son and there were many things that she had let her sons get away with but her heart pained at the broken quiver in your voice. 
Alicent had noticed the change in Aemond since the night that you had found him with Alys. The second time. He had never paid much attention to you aside from what appearances required yet Alicent knew her son far more than he would be willing to accept. She had known that there was something in his heart for you, no matter how small and no matter how it dwindled until set alight. 
Aemond had done the wrong thing. She had no doubts about that. Alicent would have words with him once she figured out what to say to him. But he was her son and there were certain misdoings that she knew she had to defend them through. To protect his marriage, his image and his happiness. The Queen Dowager cleared her throat and reached for your hand, eyebrows furrowing at the way you stared down at your lap, the anguish you felt in your heart written clearly across your face. 
“I understand that you are hurting, my dear. Although my husband remained faithful to me until his death and I cannot quite imagine the pain in your heart–I see how you have love for my son, even if you nor him have known it, I do understand,” Alicent took a breath, closing her eyes. “This is the way of men. And princes–”
“Please, Your Grace, I mean this with utmost respect for you but I do not wish to hear your excuses,” you whispered. There was a prickly, breathless worry that had settled in your gut. What did you not know? Was this Alys someone who mattered? “But I would like to know what you are withholding from me about this woman. I believe I deserve that at the very least.”
Alicent stared at you for a moment, examining you. She could drive her son further into the ground with what she was about to say. “Aemond had a paramour–at least it was rumoured, he never spoke of such things with me. Alys Rivers, a wetnurse and servant woman from Harrenhal.”
“A paramour?”
“It was before you were married,” Alicent was quick to clarify. “I had assumed that Aemond wanted nothing more to do with her when she left–at his order, I believe. Some say she was a witch. Perhaps she enchanted him.” 
You couldn’t look at her. She was more than just a whore? Had he lied to you right from the beginning? Bile rose up in your throat. There was a thrum in your ears, the sound of your own heartbeat and you feared that you would be sick from the drop in your gut. 
“Did he love her? Could he still?”
Alicent sucked in a breath. “I do not know, my child.”
All you could do was nod pathetically. Alicent was a woman of great strength and dedication; you had once wished to be much like her one day. But as you sat beside her now, you wished she had been a liar and a cheat and a meddling gossip. That you could find a way to fault her words but you could tell it caused her great difficulty to speak of Aemond’s actions honestly. 
Ever poised and elegant, Alicent only leaned forward to you, her posture straight as a needle and her touch soft as linen. “I did not mean to upset you further. I only meant to speak with you about returning to Courtly activities, with the other Ladies and Helaena has been asking for you. And the Ladies speak–”
“They speak terribly of me,” you scoffed, allowing a humourless laugh. “I understand, Your Grace. I will return to spending my days in company other than my own.”
Alicent hated to pry but she felt that she must, now that she had dealt her cards against Aemond’s fate. “Perhaps you should speak with Aemond. He cares for you deeply. It would be a shame for your union to fall apart over such misunderstandings.”
If not for formality, you would have rolled your eyes. Again, you simply nodded, your mind reeling back to the woman that Alicent had given a name to. You would ask Aemond about her. It would be the less damning option rather than turning to Aegon once more but the idea of speaking to Aemond about a woman he may once have loved still made you want to crawl underneath the sheets of your bed and disappear. 
You thought of the woman who you had seen through the crack in the door and wished you had taken extra care in looking at her. There was little you could recall other than the darkness and length of her hair, the paleness of her skin and the perfection in her curves as she pleasured Aemond and as he did the same for her. 
As if she was familiar with all the things that made him weak. All the things that made Aemond weak. How she had touched him like she was an expert in his body. And you thought of Aemond, bare and comfortable with her. Aemond with his sapphire glimmering under the lamplight instead of an eye, a rawness and trust that you had never seen of him until that night. 
He trusted her.
Alys Rivers. 
.....................................................
Tagging: @padfooteyes @thedyingwriter @mamawiggers1980 @queenofshinigamis @ewanmitchellfanatic @nurtargaryen
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achilles-rage · 2 days
Text
Good Luck Charm: Chapter 18
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college football player!buck x plus size!reader
summary: you finally finish your assignment and talk about the upcoming holiday break.
word count: 3.1k
previous chapter
series masterlist
a/n: believe me when i say i was not planning for this chapter to go the way it did. but it’s fine it was hot<3 i also kept the holiday reader celebrates ambiguous to keep it inclusive, so hopefully i can keep it going being nonspecific lol, enjoy<3
warnings: smut, plus size!reader, fem!reader, race inclusive!reader
MDNI- 18+ only!
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While Evan put up a fight at first about accepting your help, he quickly got over it. You kept trying to reassure him that you want to help, that you want him to heal as well as possible, even if you have to do things for him. He didn’t listen at first; he didn’t want to be a burden; he didn’t want you to be annoyed with him or feel like you had to help him. But still, you continued to care for him with a smile on your face, and soon enough, he started to love how much you were doting on him. It made him feel important, loved.
It’s almost exhausting when he’s finally used to you doing things for him, and you’d be a little upset if he wasn’t so cute with his little pouty lips and puppy dog eyes. 
“Princess, can you get me some more water?”
“Princess, can you get me a sweater?”
“Princes, can you…?”
You’re almost certain he’s exaggerating his injuries by now, as his concussion is gone and his ankle has been healing for a couple of weeks, but how can you say no when he asks you to stay with him for a little bit longer? You love being with him, and you love taking care of him, so it makes sense to spend most nights at his place rather than going back to your apartment.
You’re at his house again, both of you sitting on his bed as you work on the final touches of your assignment. You’re happy to finally be done with it, although you have this weird feeling in your chest that once your assignment is handed in, you won’t have any reason to see Evan. You know your worries are unnecessary; you’re dating, and he seems very content in keeping you around all the time, but you feel that minuscule voice in your head telling you what you know isn’t true. 
You look out his bedroom window, smiling as you see the soft blanket of snow covering his front yard, the sunset shining brightly off of it and making you excited for the quickly approaching winter break. It’s already December, and you can’t believe how quickly the semester has passed. A couple weeks off and finally able to spend some time with your family? You couldn’t imagine anything better. Especially for the holidays.
“What are you doing for winter break?” you ask as Evan types away on his computer. He looks up at you after a moment, his fingers stilling on his keyboard. His expression almost looks upset, but he quickly covers it with a small smile.
“I’m not sure yet. I’ll probably stay here; hang out with some of the guys on the team that aren’t going home either.” he tells you, his voice oddly monotone. You know he’s not especially close to his parents, but you didn’t know it was bad enough for him to not go home during winter break. He’s definitely holding his emotions back right now, and it makes your heart clench to think about him alone during the holidays, with no loving family to go home to.
“Your parents don’t want you to go home?” you ask, but you already know the answer. He shrugs, giving you a soft “I don’t think they care” as he looks down at his hands, fidgeting with his fingers. Sadness fills your eyes, and you let out a quiet exhale. How can his parents not want to see him?
“What about your sister? I’m sure she wants to see you.” you try to reassure him, but you can see that your words cause sadness to fill his eyes as he shakes his head. You reach over and grab one of his hands, which pulls his gaze from his lap to your face. 
“You can’t be alone for the holidays.” you whisper. You can feel the question on the tip of your tongue, and while you know it may be a little weird to ask, it feels like the words are fighting their way up your throat.
“I’ll be alright, princess. It’s not the first time, and I’m sure it won’t be the last.” he tells you with a shrug, trying to mask his sadness with a reassuring smile. You tilt your head to the side as you look at him, frowning. You feel the words slip from your mouth before you can stop him; why is he the one reassuring you right now? You should be the one telling him that he shouldn’t have to be used to that. That he deserves to feel loved all the time, but especially around the holidays.
“Why don’t you come home with me for the break?” His eyes widen at your words, and for a moment, so do yours. You know it’s probably too early for that kind of thing; he’d be meeting your entire family, for God’s sake, but you can’t imagine him sitting here alone while everyone else is with their families.
“You want me at your parents’ house for the holidays?” he asks in disbelief, although he can feel his heart pounding at the thought. He absolutely loves the idea of meeting your parents, and spending a few weeks in your hometown; learning even more about you.
“I’m sure they’d love to meet you. I know my mom does.” you tell him a bit sheepishly. You’ve told your mom about him already, although you’re not as close to her as you once were, you still talk to her fairly regularly.
“Your dad doesn’t?” he asks you curiously, using the hand holding yours to pull you towards him. You get up onto your knees and crawl across the bed, then straddle his lap and wrap your arms around his neck loosely.
“I haven’t told him. Not sure how he’d react.” you say with a shrug, leaning forward and resting your forehead against his. He hums softly, and although he’s a little nervous about your answer, he also feels an overwhelming urge to prove to your father that he’s good for you.
“Yeah? Tell me about him, so I know what to expect.” You lean back, looking at him with an unsure smile, disbelief in your eyes. 
“You’ll come?” you ask, your smile widening when he nods. You laugh softly and lean in to give him a chaste kiss, but he quickly deepens it, his hand moving to your jaw and tilting your head slightly. You smile into the kiss, and let him continue to kiss you for a moment, one of your hands making its way into his hair while his other hand moves up and down your thigh.
“So, tell me about your parents.” he speaks after he pulls away, looking up at you with a gleam in his eye. He loves the way you look sitting on his lap, lips puffy and eyes in a slight daze. He thinks it’s adorable that even after the countless times he’s kissed you, you still always pull back with wide eyes and a soft smile, almost like you’re surprised he’s kissing you.
“Well, my mom will love you, so you don’t have to worry about her much. I think she’ll just be happy I’ve finally brought someone home. My dad’s sort of protective, but I’m sure it’ll be fine. He’s a firefighter, and he’s an extrovert, so all you have to do is ask him about his job, and the heat will be off of you for hours.” you explain to him, laughing softly as you explain your dad’s tendency to talk about his job. He’s always wanted to be a firefighter, and he loves the job, so it’s become a joke between you and your mom about how quickly he can change the subject to work during conversations with anyone that will listen. 
Evan hums softly, nodding as he listens to you. He laughs along with you, feeling his nerves settle slightly as you tell him how to get on your dad’s good side. He can’t believe he’s agreed to this so quickly; a few months ago, he would never have pictured himself being introduced to a girl’s parents. But now, with you, he feels both excited and like his heart is about to stop from his nerves.
“You think he’ll like me?” he asks a bit nervously. You smile, shrugging as you think about it. You’ve never introduced a guy to your father, so you’re really not sure how he’ll react. While you want to reassure Evan, you don’t want to give him a false sense of hope. 
“I like you. I think he’ll see that. He might just have to warm up to you.” you tell him after a moment of silence. He nods again at your words, licking his lips as he averts his gaze from yours, beginning to think about it maybe a little too much. “Hey, it’s gonna be okay. He’ll probably just want to make sure you’re a good guy. It’s not like he’ll find out you’re, like, a murderer or something.” you tease in a low voice, giving him a cheeky smile. You want to calm his nerves; you can see the wheels turning in his head. He chuckles as his eyes refocus on you, and he pulls you in by the back of your neck, lips level with your ear.
“Maybe not, but I definitely wouldn’t want him to find out what I’ve done with you, how I think of you most of the time.” he rasps, and you feel your cheeks grow hot. 
“Yeah? What are you thinking about right now?” you get out, your voice just above a whisper. Although your words are teasing, your stomach is filled with butterflies. Even after months of being with him, there’s always a split second that you forget you’re not still the shy, inexperienced person you were before.
“I’m thinking about taking you in your childhood bedroom. Your parents in the other room. Having to put my hand over your mouth to keep your quiet.” he says, nipping at your neck between sentences. You bite your lip, feeling a familiar warmth in the pit of your stomach.
“You’re crazy if you think my dad’s gonna let us share a room.” you tease softly, tilting your head back as he continues to kiss your neck. He chuckles against your skin, which causes you to shiver as his hot breath hits your neck.
“What he doesn’t know won’t kill him.” he whispers in your ear, then continues his trail of kisses down your neck. You roll your eyes, giggling softly, but it’s cut short when you feel Evan’s hand dip below the waistband of both your leggings and your panties, and move straight to your core.
“You’re so wet already. You like that idea? Having to keep quiet for me?” he says in a cocky tone, looking up at you. You bite your lip as your hips buck against his hand instinctively, trying to gain more friction as his fingers ghost against your clit.
He chuckles as he feels your hips move, but doesn’t tease any further. He pushes a finger into your dripping cunt, pumps it into you a few times, then adds another. You mewl softly, leaning down to capture his lips in a kiss, which he happily returns. His thumb finds your clit after a moment, and he groans as he feels you clench around his fingers with a soft moan.
“You’re so good for me, princess. Always so good for me.” he says against your lips, then curls his fingers to hit that spot inside of you that makes you see stars. You tilt your head back with a whine, rolling your hips as you feel the familiar feeling growing in your belly.
He increases his movements when he sees your face contorting in pleasure, knowing you’re approaching your high, but you stop him before you can get there. You pull his hand away with quick, albeit reluctant, movements.
“Need to feel you.” you whisper in an almost pleading tone, and that’s all it takes.
He grabs your hips and flips you over onto the bed, then moves to kneel in front of you. He reaches for your leggings and makes quick work of pulling them and your panties down your legs, you lifting your hips off the bed to help him out. He makes you sit up once your bottoms are discarded, and pulls your knit sweater over your head, not even bothering to take your bra off before his hands are pulling on his shirt. Once he’s taken his clothes off, he’s on top of you, using one arm to hold himself up, and the other pumping his cock a few times before moving the tip over your slick folds.
“Please.” you beg as you look up at his face, pupils blown and lips turned in an almost-pout. He licks his lips as his eyes move up from your cunt to your eyes, smirking. He doesn’t waste any more time, and he sinks into you with a breathy groan. His head falls to the crook of your neck as he buries himself to the hilt, feeling you stretching around him so perfectly. 
“Oh my god.” you whine as your hands find his shoulders. Your nails dig into his skin as he starts to move, and you don’t think you’ll ever get used to his size. He fits so nicely inside of you, but you’d be lying if you said there’s not a second when he first pushes into your dripping cunt where you think that you’re too full, that you won’t get used to the feeling of all of him.
“That’s it, princess. Let me hear you.” he drawls. He picks up the pace as he begins to kiss down your neck, making sure he leaves light spots around your collar bones and tits. He loves marking you, but the last time he marked your neck, you got mad that you weren’t able to cover it up easily, so now he leaves them in places for his eyes only. 
You let out a shuttered cry when his fingers find your clit again, and your nails dig into his back more harshly, which makes him groan in a mix of pain and pleasure. He loves to be marked by you too, loves having reminders of you on his skin. He leans back to look into your eyes again, and he almost smirks when he sees you struggling to keep your eyes open, your body moving with each thrust. He looks down at your soft tummy and chest and he moans again. He loves seeing your tummy move as he fucks you; almost as much as he likes to fill your belly with his seed.
“Keep making noises like that and I won’t last long, baby.” he teases, then meets your lips in a deep kiss. His hips move in rough thrusts as his fingers circle your clit, and you know that you’re not going to last long either.
“Feels so good.” you rasp against his lips, and he smirks as he pulls back.
“Yeah? You like that, princess?” he asks in a cocky tone, feeling his high quickly approaching as he looks down at your fucked out expression. All you can do is nod as you feel the pit in your tummy growing, your words coming out in incoherent babbling.
With a few more thrusts, Evan is right on the edge, but as he’s about to pull out, you wrap your legs around his waist. He raises a brow as you look up at him, soft pleas escaping your lips.
“Come inside me. Evan, please.” you get out, keeping your legs firmly locked around him. He groans, trying not to cum right then and there. The way you say his name makes his head spin, and soon enough, he’s nodding, his hips snapping against yours with increased fervor.
“You want me to fill you up? Huh, princess?” he asks, leaning in to whisper in your ear. His thrusts are getting sloppy, and you know he’s almost there.
“Please. Fill me up.” you plead, your back arching off the bed as you feel yourself teetering on the edge.
“Come for me, baby. Let me feel you.” he grunts in your ear, and after a few more thrusts, you feel his hot cum hitting your insides. This, paired with his fingers ghosting over your clit causes you to fall over to the edge with a high pitched squeal, clenching around him as your vision goes blank. You squeeze your eyes shut as your body goes stiff, your hands still firmly on his shoulders.
“There you go, princess. God, you’re gorgeous.” he whispers against your skin. He slows his hips to a stop, staying inside of you for a minute or two as you both catch your breath. He moves his head down to the valley of your breasts, pressing soft kisses all over the skin not covered by your bra as he stays lying on top of you, and you hum happily.
After a few minutes, he finally pulls out, groaning at the sight of his cum dripping down your soft skin and onto his sheets. He grabs a towel from his closet and cleans you off carefully, pressing kisses on your plush belly as his hands moves, and once he’s done, he crawls back into bed beside you and pulls you in to lay your head on his chest.
“We can’t do this at my parents’ house.” you tease as you lay your cheek against his chest, and you smile when you feel the rumble of his laugh ripple through his chest under you.
“No? Don’t think you can keep quiet?” he replies in a similar tone, squeezing your shoulder as he holds you tightly against him. 
“I’m more worried about you.” you tell him in a serious tone. He can hear the smile in your voice, but he still rolls his eyes as he scoffs.
“Yeah, we’ll see.” he says in a quiet tone, voice trailing off as he looks up at the ceiling. 
If you’re really serious about not doing anything for two weeks, he thinks he’ll go crazy. He’s been able to have you pretty much anytime he wants for the past few months, and imagining you at your house, forbidden fruit dangling in front of him with your father around, he knows it’s going to be torture for him.
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strnilolover · 19 hours
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⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .˚ All To Ourselves ⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .˚
⋆。‧˚ʚ🐾ɞ˚‧。⋆ ⋆。‧˚ʚ🐾ɞ˚‧。⋆ ⋆。‧˚ʚ🐾ɞ˚‧。⋆ ⋆。‧˚ʚ🐾ɞ˚‧。⋆ ⋆。‧˚ʚ🐾ɞ˚‧
♡ Bf!Matt x Gf!Reader
♡ Warnings : smut - oral (m receiving), pet names (baby, love, babe, ma), sick matt, slight sub!matt honestly, fluff, aftercare?
♡ Wc : tbc
♡ A/N : This is based off of their new vlog where they all spent time away from each other. Where Matt is home alone and is sick (the part where he’s on the couch in nothing but his boxers) so you decide to go over and help him (in more ways than one).
⋆。‧˚ʚ🐾ɞ˚‧。⋆ ⋆。‧˚ʚ🐾ɞ˚‧。⋆ ⋆。‧˚ʚ🐾ɞ˚‧。⋆ ⋆。‧˚ʚ🐾ɞ˚‧。⋆ ⋆。‧˚ʚ🐾ɞ˚‧
You were currently on your way to your boyfriend’s house from the grocery store. Once he had texted you that he was sick and not feeling well, your nurturing instincts kicked in. Wanting to help take care of him.
Pulling into the driveway with a sigh, you put the car into park, turning off the ignition. You reached behind the passenger seat, grabbing the grocery bags full of different food items to make chicken soup, potato soup, etc. anything that could make him feel better and make sure he was getting actual food.
You climbed out of the driver door, lugging the bags out with you as you closed the door swiftly. You walked up to their garage, setting down the bags momentarily as you punched in the code to open it, picking your bags up once more.
Once you were inside the house, making your way up the stairs, you hear Matt on the couch presumably talking to the camera to document how he is with his brothers being gone. You reached the top of the stairs, watching him quietly as your eyes scanned his body. His shirt off, black boxers on display for anyone to see if they came in.
You chuckled once he set the camera down, your feet now moving you toward their kitchen to set the bags down onto the counter. His eyes were focused on you and the way you moved, your body turning to face him as you walked closer.
“Hi baby.” You whispered softly, sitting next to him on the couch as your arms engulfed him in a hug. He hummed contently, wrapping his own arms around you in return. “Hello love.” He mumbled against your chest.
You smiled softly, bringing a hand up to his head to gauge how warm he was. You hissed softly, “you’re burning up babe, why didn’t you tell me sooner when this first started?” You asked, taking his face into your hands to look at you, a disappointed frown pulling at your lips.
He shrugged his shoulders, blue eyes locked onto your own. “Didn’t want you to worry too much, I’m sure it’ll pass soon. Luckily it isn’t covid.” He sighed out, turning his face to peck the palm of your hand softly.
You just shook your head, caressing his face as he continued to litter kisses along your palm. He becomes such a baby when he’s sick, sucking up to you and just wanting to be babied. Even if he’s too stubborn to admit it himself. “Well I’m here to take care of you now, so no more doing things for yourself, m’kay?” You said sternly but soft, making him look back at you so he understood.
He nodded firmly, “yes ma’am.” He chuckled out, bringing a hand up to his forehead, saluting. You just rolled your eyes, laughing at him. “You’re such a goofball, but I love you.” You said, pulling him close to you once more.
He smiled, head burying in your chest as he coughed. You frowned once more, stroking his sweaty hair as you continued to hold him close to you.
After sitting for a few minutes with his head buried in your chest, your hand stroking his hair, he shifted. Lifting his head up to look at you, his face was flushed red, pupils dilated.
“Baby?” You questioned, looking into his eyes as you felt his hips shift against you now. Eyes widening slightly, you looked down. Now noticing the prominent bulge growing in his boxers. You looked back up, his eyes still trained on your face.
“M’sorry, can’t help it. You just look so fucking good.” He mumbled, leaning away from you to rest his head on the back of the couch, readjusting his erection in his boxers.
You sat there dumbfounded for a moment, before you smirked and slid off the couch, kneeling in front of him. “You know — I could help you with your problem if you’d like?” You say to him, your hand inching up his thigh to grab him through his boxers.
His head tipped forward, catching your burning gaze and he nodded. “Please,” he whispered, hips pushing up into your palm. “Need it s’bad.”
You chuckled, your hand grabbing the waist band. “Lift your hips for me baby.” You say, beginning to tug his boxers off his hips. He obliged, lifting his hips slightly as you tugged them down, his cock springing free. He let out a soft sigh.
You pulled them down to his mid-thighs, shuffling onto your knees higher as your hand reached out to grab him once more. Your hand was small, fitting around his cock as you gave a few experimental tugs. He whined softly, head thrown back once more as his mouth hung open.
You looked up at him through your lashes, smirking. Tugging a few more times, you lean your head forward giving his tip a small lick before lowering your head down, taking him into your warm mouth.
“Ah — fuck.” He hissed through his teeth, hand coming up to grab your hair into a ponytail. You hummed softly, bobbing your head up and down slowly as your hand fit around what you couldn’t take in your mouth.
“F-feels s’good.” He moaned, pushing your head down more. You hummed around him once more, pulling off with a ‘pop’ as your hand pumped him. “C’mon baby, no one is here to hear you — you can be as loud as you want.” You say, lowering back down once more.
Once taking him back into your mouth, bobbing your head faster, he didn’t hesitate to let the moans and small whines slip past his lips. You groaned as he pushed your head down more, starting to fuck your throat slowly. “B-baby please.. lemme’ — oh fuck.” He whined as your head moved faster, before pulling away once more.
Now it just felt like torture, speeding up just to pull away from him. You looked into his hooded eyes, slightly glossy. “You can fuck my throat baby — this is for you to feel better. Use me.” Is all you said before going back down. He groaned, nodding his head quickly as he thrusted his hips up into your awaiting mouth, moving your head to match his thrusts.
You moaned around his cock, eyes rolling back just as his did. Strings of curses left his lips as his thrusts started to become more erratic, more sloppy. You were drooling around him at this point, your spit running down your chin and onto him. He moaned at the sight of you, mouth stuffed full of him, willing to let him use you just to make himself feel better.
“God ma — g-gonna cum.. can I cum? Please?” He whimpered, breathing becoming hard as you moaned, nodding your head to give him permission. That’s all he needed before his cock swelled in your mouth, releasing his cum down your throat. A string of whines leaving his parted lips as you groaned at the taste of him.
Bobbing your head a few more times, you pulled off with another wet ‘pop’ smiling up at him as your hand tugged him a few more times, working him through his high. He hissed softly, pushing your hand away when he had enough.
He panted softly, looking down at you with tired eyes as he regained his composure. You just smiled up at him, climbing up onto the couch next to him once more as you pressed kisses all along his body on your way up, the last one landing on his lips. “You feeling okay baby? Wasn’t too much yeah?” You asked softly, hands reaching down to pull his boxers back up as you continued to press kisses to his temple.
He nodded softly, “m’okay.. was so fucking good.” He admitted, smiling at you, happily accepting the kisses you planted across his face. You nodded, pulling away as you looked at him. “I’m glad you’re okay, let me take care of you now.” You say, grabbing the blanket off the couch behind you and draping it over him as you stood up.
You grabbed the tv remote and turned on gravity falls, knowing it was one of his favorite show. You put it down, leaning back down to him. “Are you sure you’re okay baby? Wasn’t too much on you?” You asked one more time, pulling him into a small hug. He nodded, “I’m okay, wasn’t too much at all. I’m hungry now though.” He stated, and you smiled once more as you pulled away, grabbing the water bottle from the table to hand to him.
“Would you like potato soup or chicken soup?” You asked as you walked to the kitchen, reaching into the grocery bags you had brought in with you. You hear him hum, “potato please.” He said softly, and you nodded once more.
“Coming right up, love.” You say, starting to prepare the ingredients for your homemade potato soup as he just sat there on the couch, admiring you as you worked. His chest swelling with love as you were so determined to help take care of him, even though you just had in another way.
⋆。‧˚ʚ🐾ɞ˚‧。⋆ ⋆。‧˚ʚ🐾ɞ˚‧。⋆ ⋆。‧˚ʚ🐾ɞ˚‧。⋆ ⋆。‧˚ʚ🐾ɞ˚‧。⋆ ⋆。‧˚ʚ🐾ɞ˚‧
♡ A/N : Sorry if this is shit, this is my first smut thing I’ve ever actually written. Also if it seems kind of rushed, sorry lol. I hope y’all enjoy this!
⋆。‧˚ʚ🐾ɞ˚‧。⋆ ⋆。‧˚ʚ🐾ɞ˚‧。⋆ ⋆。‧˚ʚ🐾ɞ˚‧。⋆ ⋆。‧˚ʚ🐾ɞ˚‧。⋆ ⋆。‧˚ʚ🐾ɞ˚‧
© Strnilolover
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stellocchia · 2 days
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Killer being incredibly touch-starved is something I've been thinking about for a while. We know very little about monster biology, let alone Killer's who's something in between, so I'm gonna base this on the effect of touch deprivation in the real world (which, yes, is a very real and highly studied thing. And no, the people using it as an excuse for why they're 'owed sex' are still full of shit, because to the human brain the kind of touch, as long as it's positive and well received, doesn't make a difference).
Killer, for his whole time with both Chara and Nightmare, is deprived of any positive touch. Nightmare stabbing him and forcefully manipulating his soul certainly doesn't count as positive, and most Chara did was cut him up for fun (and out of curiosity).
There is a chance for him to receive some affection in an expanded Nightmare's gang situation, as I refuse to believe that people stuck in such awful conditions together would not develop a certain degree of closeness. Still, they live under Nightmare, so they probably cannot afford to indulge in any form of comfort too much. And I don't doubt that, in such a tense situation, fights would also break out often. Meaning he'd most likely get more gaster blasters to the face than pats on the back.
With that out of the way, here are some of the symptoms Killer may experience:
Overwhelming loneliness
Strong cravings for affection
Feelings of depression
Anxiety
Heightened levels of Stress
Difficulty sleeping
Attachment avoidance patterns
He'd also most likely do things to emulate the feeling of touch like cuddling his cats a lot, laying under whatever heavy thing he can find, and taking hot showers/baths. After all, this is Killer we're talking about. These are a lot of feelings and uncomfortable sensations that are entirely out of his control, he's definitely gonna try and reign them in.
I do think that, of course, this would affect every Stage differently. And they'd probably go about dealing with it differently.
Stage 1 would have a conflicted relationship with touch. On one hand, it's hard for him to keep from showing the discomfort he's feeling due to the touch deprivation. On the other, he also always struggles with feelings of guilt regarding the fact that, in his mind, he put himself in this situation. He probably wouldn't think he deserves to feel better. And definitely wouldn't outright ask for a hug or to hold hands unless he was desperate.
He'd probably try to deal with it quietly. Probably running the shower as hot as it can get and hoping it gets rid of the itch in his bones. He has probably begged both Chara and Nightmare for affection before, though I doubt that ended well. I think Chara just pushed him away in Disgust, Nightmare probably made him regret asking.
I feel like later on with Color he's probably gonna need constant reassurances and frequent gentle reminders that he can ask for a hug whenever. And, if that feels like too much, he can sit close to Color, shoulder to shoulder. They can hold hands, and, when that feels like too much, they can interlock pinkies. There are ways for them to navigate around this. And I think Color would be happy to help from the get-go with him.
Meanwhile, with Stage 2 I've always felt like they probably dislike touch (something something they don't allow themselves to show any degree of vulnerability and never let go of control. Both things that would happen if they indulge in any amount of physical affection). To be clear, this does not mean that they're immune to the consequences of touch deprivation, it just means that dealing with them will be even harder for them.
During their time with Chara and Nightmare they'd probably use a lot of the good old "gaslighting themselves into thinking that everything is okay" method. Similarly to how they did with convincing themselves that they actually enjoy being hurt on the regular, eventually, they'd probably start believing it. Also, they'd be highly reliant on their cats if they have any around. Cuddling them does soothe a lot of the symptoms for quite a while, and those little balls of fur at least are not gonna backstab them.
Even once they're with Color, I still feel like Stage 2 would rather cuddle with animals than with other monsters or humans. They'd just be far more free to do so without the threat of Nightmare killing those little critters hanging over their head. Also! A lot of types of dance and stuff like theater can help stave off the touch starvation in a way that may feel more comfortable to them. In a lot of those situations, there's a ton of touch involved, but as they'd be able to remain professional about it, it would probably feel less like giving up control and showing weakness than the alternative of being physically affectionate with Color.
Stage 3 is an interesting one. I feel like it would be the most open to admitting (at least to itself) that they have an issue. However, to solve said issue would mean putting the body in danger and that's not something it's willing to do.
Still, it would try to mitigate the discomfort as much as it can. Trying to find soft things to wrap the body up tightly with. Trying to find small places where it can feel somewhat compressed. It would never try to ask either Nightmare or Chara for help. Ever. It hates them with a burning passion and, besides, it's fully aware that, whatever is wrong with them, is most likely the fault of those two.
It probably also would regard Color with distrust at first, but, eventually, as it comes to trust him, it probably would be more than happy to get some cuddles in with him. I do think its favorite thing would be to sleep all curled up around one another in whatever safe den it has built. And, of course, as it builds trust with more people, those people are gonna be let in too. Though that's gonna take time, because for Stage 3 to trust anyone, Stage 2 and Stage 1 have to trust them first.
Stage 4 my boy... it's suffering. Not only can it not remember any instances of kindness, however rare, the other 3 may have received, but it is also the one that would struggle the most receiving any kind of genuine help even after running away with Color. And, before that, it basically just gets treated like a dog. Though, no matter how much he'd want it, the treat for a job well done is never a hug or a pat on the head for it. Usually, it's just it being allowed some basic necessities like water, food, maybe even sleep if things went particularly well.
And it wouldn't try to soothe any of its needs by itself. Just like it doesn't eat, drink, or sleep if it's not explicitly allowed. If Nightmare or Chara wanted it to get a hot shower or some cuddles from its feline friends, they would have said it. Since they didn't clearly it's against the will of the Players, as they're the Players' mouthpieces. The same would go for Color not saying anything.
And, here's the thing, Color would struggle to show kindness to Stage 4 at first. Both because it starts off as hostile as it doesn't initially recognize him as an owner and because there is something fundamentally unsettling about a being so divorced from humanity and monsterkind wearing the face of his friend. Stage 4's biggest downfall is the fact that it is so other that even the kindest souls would struggle to not dehumanize it. It was created to be a tool and it doesn't recognize itself as anything more than that, so others often fall into the trap of doing the same.
Anyway, Stage 4 would straight-up weep the first time it gets a hug. And, seeing that, Color would undoubtedly feel like shit for ever thinking that Stage 4 wasn't just as lonely, hurt, and deserving of kindness as the other Stages.
37 notes · View notes
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ZombieApocolypse!Jihoon
AU - Woozi x fem!reader
Nobody asked but! I wrote some imagines for my favorite doomsday prepper. The end is pretty vanilla smut because I couldn't help myself, that boy is fineeeeeee.
Word Count: 1k
CW: really vanilla smut some fingering, a little handjob, then p in v, cuddling. You know. The basics.
⫘⫘☣︎⫘⫘⫘⫘☣︎⫘⫘⫘⫘☣︎⫘⫘
ZombieApocolypse!Jihoon Who is technically part of a larger group but operates like a lone wolf
ZombieApocolypse!Jihoon Who doesn't socialize much which gives him the strong silent badass vibe
ZombieApocolypse!Jihoon Who can competently wield any weapon whether it’s ranged or melee, but prefers to use his own arms and fists against the undead
ZombieApocolypse!Jihoon Who you only meet briefly when it's time to make camp in some abandoned building
ZombieApocolypse!Jihoon Who has a superficial relationship with everyone in the group
ZombieApocolypse!Jihoon Who will disappear for days only to come back with loot for the whole community
ZombieApocolypse!Jihoon Who makes sure everybody eats
ZombieApocolypse!Jihoon Who takes care of all the undead that threaten you, making it look easy
ZombieApocolypse!Jihoon Who saves you from wayyy too close a call when you almost get tackled and bitten
ZombieApocolypse!Jihoon Who listens with a heavy heart to you tossing and turning still shaken by the attack
ZombieApocolypse!Jihoon Who wordlessly joins you in your bed and wraps his strong arms around you making you feel safe and secure as long as you're with him
ZombieApocolypse!Jihoon Who opens up to you slowly so you realize he has a soft heart
ZombieApocolypse!Jihoon Who becomes a little more careful in his escapades because he has something worth returning to
ZombieApocolypse!Jihoon Who always found it more difficult to deal with the living than the dead
ZombieApocolypse!Jihoon Who begins to show the sides of himself he tucked away when the apocalypse demanded his “strength”
ZombieApocolypse!Jihoon Who everyone meets in a completely different light when he begins to start conversations and talk about his interests
ZombieApocolypse!Jihoon Who enjoys being more involved in the socializing aspects of the group, but still values his alone time
ZombieApocolypse!Jihoon Who you find on the roof of the abandoned office building where the group is camping
ZombieApocolypse!Jihoon Who stares into the night sky and remarks that he can finally see the stars clearly without all the light pollution
ZombieApocolypse!Jihoon Who you spend the better part of the night talking to about everything scary and beautiful about the apocalypse
ZombieApocolypse!Jihoon Who can’t take his mind off of you lately
ZombieApocolypse!Jihoon Who sees your face illuminated in the moonlight and chances to lean forward to kiss you
ZombieApocolypse!Jihoon Who melts you with his surprisingly soft lips
ZombieApocolypse!Jihoon Whose hands have the potential to grip you so tightly around your waist, but settle for a strong handle of your body that you don’t even try to resist
ZombieApocolypse!Jihoon Who leads you with his strong grip to the secluded place he set up his sleeping area for the night, only detaching from your lips to breathe and then finding his way back quickly and efficiently
ZombieApocolypse!Jihoon Whose tongue makes its way into you to taste every inch of you
ZombieApocolypse!Jihoon Who lays you down on an array of blankets and does all the work in stripping you down to just your panties
ZombieApocolypse!Jihoon Who is still fully clothed
ZombieApocolypse!Jihoon Who traces his calloused hands over all the sensitive parts of your body, stopping to play with you nipples before taking one into his mouth
ZombieApocolypse!Jihoon Who has one hand on your other nipple while the other finds its way into your panties
ZombieApocolypse!Jihoon Who teases the your most sensitive parts until you can’t contain your moans; if the area wasn’t so secure, there would be a hoard right outside of the door
ZombieApocolypse!Jihoon Who takes his mouth off of your chest only to lick around his own fingers while maintaining eye contact with you
ZombieApocolypse!Jihoon Who is slowly becoming obsessed with the way your lips are parted and your eyes are lidded and you chest rises and falls with deep breaths
ZombieApocolypse!Jihoon Who slides one finger into you slowly, groaning at the tight feeling
ZombieApocolypse!Jihoon Whose pants get tighter and tighter as he hears you plead for more
ZombieApocolypse!Jihoon Who kisses you when his second and third finger find their way inside you, stretching you enough to accommodate him
ZombieApocolypse!Jihoon Who makes you cum hard on his fingers
ZombieApocolypse!Jihoon Who finally begins to strip down while you slip off your panties leaving both of you completely naked
ZombieApocolypse!Jihoon Who has scars around his hard body marking all of his time surviving the desolate landscape
ZombieApocolypse!Jihoon Who lets you trace some of the sizable marks on his torso before pulling you close into a hungry kiss
ZombieApocolypse!Jihoon Who presses his body against yours, so you can feel how hard his cock is for you
ZombieApocolypse!Jihoon Who guides your hand to stroke him, groaning when your soft fingers grasp him gently then squeeze as you move up and down the long, thick shaft
ZombieApocolypse!Jihoon Whose cock drips with precum that you swipe with your thumb and spread over the sensitive head
ZombieApocolypse!Jihoon Who watches as you spit in your hand and use it to coat him, hoping that it eases its entrance into you
ZombieApocolypse!Jihoon Who can’t hold back anymore and moves you to your hands and knees finding a place on your hips to grab you
ZombieApocolypse!Jihoon Who lines himself up with your wet entrance
ZombieApocolypse!Jihoon Who makes your body shiver when he enters you slowly, growling as he feels himself begin to reach his peak
ZombieApocolypse!Jihoon Who relishes in every sound you make as he slides inch by inch inside of you
ZombieApocolypse!Jihoon Who stalls once he bottoms out, breathing in and out hard
ZombieApocolypse!Jihoon Who you beg to move which causes him to set a steady pace fucking in and out of you
ZombieApocolypse!Jihoon Who grabs you tighter and uses one hand to slap your ass, marking you as his
ZombieApocolypse!Jihoon Who pulls out and flips you around so that he can see your face when you cum again
ZombieApocolypse!Jihoon Who resumes his thrusting inside of your tight walls while placing his hands behind your knees to get a better angle
ZombieApocolypse!Jihoon Who finds your sweet spot and digs into it until you come undone with a moan that borders on a scream
ZombieApocolypse!Jihoon Who wipes the single tear from your cheek that trickled out due to overstimulation
ZombieApocolypse!Jihoon Who chases his own release by desperately thrusting into your wet heat, listening intently to the sounds of skin slapping skin
ZombieApocolypse!Jihoon Who finally pulls out to stroke himself to completion leaving ropes of cum on your chest and stomach
ZombieApocolypse!Jihoon Who comes down from his high to the sight of you taking some of his cum onto his finger and placing it into your mouth
ZombieApocolypse!Jihoon Who kisses you fervently tasting you and himself intertwined
ZombieApocolypse!Jihoon Who wipes you off with his previously discarded t-shirt then lays with you in his arms as the sun comes up and you drift to sleep feeling safe and secure even in the apocalypse
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alwaysurvalentine · 2 days
Note
If you are so inclined, I’d love to see Steve and Eddie’s aquarium date 💕
Thank you for your patience!!! (and for being my biggest fan! 🥹)
This is just fluff, fluff, and more fluff. - w.c: 4.6k - cw: n/a!
This can be read alone, but it is meant to be a companion piece to this!
Hope you enjoy our boys and their aquarium adventures! 💛
~
They’ve been together six months but watching Steve wake up in the mornings hasn’t gotten old. Eddie hopes it never does. He hardly ever wakes up before the other boy so each time he does, he makes sure to savor the moment. When Steve’s asleep his face is completely relaxed, mouth parted just slightly. Right before he wakes up, he always smacks his lips together and then scrunches his face slightly. Honey eyes blink open, and on the days that Eddie’s caught in his admiration, he gets a gooey smile first thing. He’d be more than happy laying in bed for a bit longer but they’ve got plans today, so he reaches up to gently brush the bangs back from Steve’s forehead. 
“Sweetheart.” He barely whispers the word, but right on cue Steve scrunches his face and his eyes start to flutter open. 
“Mm.” And Steve closes his eyes again, just scooting closer to Eddie to tuck his face in his chest.
“Stevie, we gotta get up. We got plans today, remember?” Eyelashes tickle his collarbone and he pinches at Steve’s side. “C’mon, you were all excited about this. And you’ve got me invested in what this surprise could be – I know you talked to Wayne about something.”
Again, Steve stays quiet. He’s not much of a talker first thing in the morning. The kiss Eddie feels him press against his neck is better than words. Steve yawns and rolls onto his back, stretching until his hands touch the wall behind the bed and he grins crookedly at Eddie when he sits up. 
“You’re right, let’s get going. We’ve got a bit of a drive before we get there.”
🐟🐟🐟
A wave of deja vu hits him when Steve pulls onto an exit in Louisville. A Denny’s sign welcomes him like an old friend and suddenly he remembers – chocolate chip pancakes and Wayne’s black coffee.
“Stevie.” There’s a lump in his throat that wasn’t there before and he pulls his eyes away from the sign to look at his boyfriend. Steve’s tilted his head to show he’s listening, eyes focused on the road as he turns.
“Did you bring me to the aquarium?” 
Steve grins, eyes squinted just that little bit closed in happiness. Sunlight shines through his hair like a halo. Eddie’s own personal angel. 
“Yep! When I was helping Wayne pack up the trailer for the move, I found a keychain on your dresser. Wayne happened to see it in the box I’d put it in and told me all about your visit out here. He said he had planned on bringing you back but stuff kept coming up and then all of a sudden you seemed ‘too old’ to bring anymore.” One hand raised off the wheel to do air quotes and Eddie feels the butterflies kick in his stomach. His boyfriend is such a dork. “Anyway, I thought it would be nice to come out for our anniversary, you know, to woo you.” Steve winks at the word, something they joke about often. Curse Eddie for saying that’s what he expected when Steve went in to kiss him the first time. 
A glance at the road reveals an upcoming stoplight and Eddie waits just long enough for the car to stop before leaning over the console to kiss Steve. He tastes like cheap gas station coffee and the chocolate frosted donuts they shared on the way up. When he backs away Steve follows him and offers another quick peck. 
“Consider me wooed, Stevie.” 
🐟🐟🐟
Since it’s a weekday, they’re able to find decent parking and head straight in to get tickets. Eddie can’t stop grinning, excitement bursting from him at getting to see all the different animals again. There are different halls that branch off from the main entrance: Under Water Coves, The Swamplands, and Penguin Palooza. By the smile on Steve’s face, he knows Eddie’s calling the shots today – and even if their feet hurt later, Steve won’t fault Eddie for dragging him around to every attraction the aquarium has to offer.
The first hall they come to is shrouded in darkness and when they turn the corner they see why. All of the fish in the tanks glow, bright flashes of orange and greens as the fish dart through their tanks. There’s enough light coming off of the tanks that they can read the panels on the wall to learn more, but Eddie finds himself more invested in watching Steve. His boyfriend is standing to the side of the tank, eyes drawn to the crabs crawling at the bottom. Fast footprints sound behind him and before he can even turn, two kids come racing to the same tank. The taller of the two has her hair pulled up in a pony tail tied with pink ribbon and the other’s unruly curls have been left in a pile on his head. Miss Pink Bows slows down as they approach but her brother doesn’t and slams right into the glass. Luckily, he doesn’t seem phased by the tumble and stands to press his hands against the glass. 
Steve turns with a grin, huffing a laugh of his own when he make eye contact with Eddie. That’s all it takes for the metalhead to erupt in giggles and Steve pulls him by the arm to the next viewing section. 
“Eddie – stop, stop laughing.”
The admonishment would mean more if Steve wasn’t fighting back his own laughter. 
🐟🐟🐟
The tunnel of fish steal Steve’s full attention but he’s still holding onto Eddie’s hand as they stand on the moving walkway. If there’s a fish he seems worried Eddie’s going to miss he squeezes and points towards where the fish is in the tank.
“Eddie, look, look at that!” A squeeze and a point guides Eddie’s eyes away from his boyfriend and to the four foot wide manta ray about to swim above them. He’s almost sure that his own smile matches the tiny one on the underside of the manta ray. There’s a blue hue painted over everyone under the tunnel, but it doesn’t take away from how bright Steve seems to be beside him. “Woah!” Another manta ray approaches the side of the tunnel and it has to be double the size of the one before. This one does a strange flipping maneuver and suddenly they can see its dark grey back instead as it swims nearly upside down above them. “They’re so big! I can’t believe how big they are.” 
Eddie can’t let the opportunity pass and grins salaciously. “That’s what she said.” Steve rolls his eyes but his smile doesn’t dim. His brown hair shifts as he shakes his head and steps off of the walkway towards the next section.
🐟🐟🐟
The next room they enter has a wall of glass from ceiling to floor. Inside, there’s the shadow of a whale shark swimming towards them, gliding smoothly through the water. Eddie doesn’t pull his eyes away even as Steve gently tugs his hand to get them closer to the glass. He only looks away for a moment when he almost tumbles down the two smaller steps that lead to the viewing area. Up close the whale shark is just as cool as he remembers it to be. A sign on the wall lets people know that there’s two sharks in the tank, Alice and Mary. Smaller fish swim near her, and when light from above hits them just right they look just like silver sparkles surrounding her. Calm washes over him as he watches her swim past the glass, another shadow in the distance outlining the other shark. 
Last time he was here he knows he pressed his face and hands up against the glass, like getting closer would mean seeing them better – four foot wide glass be damned. Uncle Wayne had to carry him out so they could go through the rest of the museum. He’d rested his head on Wayne’s shoulder and kept his eyes trained on the tank for as long as he could until they turned the corner. It’d been his favorite part of the aquarium then and he’s sure that’s not going to change now. 
Eddie notices the hair rising on the back of his neck before he makes the connection that he can feel eyes on him. He glances to his left and meets Steve’s hazel gaze. The last six months has taught Eddie how to read the many different expressions of his boyfriend, knowing what he’s thinking with just a quirk of his brow. Right now, the only way to describe the look on Steve’s face is lovesick. Soft in a way he sees when it’s late at night and they’re cuddled up under the blankets on the brink of sleep. It warms Eddie’s heart and he swears he feels it skip a beat as he grins. 
“Aren’t these the best? Just gentle giants.”
🐟🐟🐟
“Wait, so we can touch these ones?” Surprise colors Steve’s words and he’s tilted his head in question towards the worker. A small ‘bay’ is between them, baby cownose rays gliding under a couple inches of water. The worker nods and then directs their attention towards a couple of young kids that have approached the pools. 
Despite his question, Steve doesn’t move to touch one of the animals swimming, instead standing with his hands close to his chest like letting them hang too close to the water is going to hurt the rays. 
“Do you want to touch them?” Eddie’s comment breaks Steve’s concentration and the younger boy turns to him.
“I’m not sure yet. You can though!” He steps quickly to the side like that’s the only thing keeping Eddie from reaching forward. A notch is between his brows and he gazes at the pool again, hazel eyes tracing the gentle movements the worker makes for the kids to copy. One of the kids touches the ray and pulls away quick, face scrunched in disgust; the other pets along the entire back with a gentle hand and a grin on their face. A couple rays swim towards Steve and Eddie’s side of the ‘bay’ and Eddie lowers his hand into the water. It’s colder than he thought it would be but one of the rays darts right under his finger tips. He’d thought it would be slimy but instead it’s soft like velvet. He turns to Steve with a grin, already reaching towards another ray swimming his way. The crease between Steve’s brows eases and his eyes dart to the dimple Eddie knows is denting his cheek with how big he’s grinning. 
“Stevie, these are sooo soft. C’mon.” His boyfriend is still slow in his movements as he reaches towards the water, tension in his shoulders as a ray goes to glide to the other end of the pool. A freckled hand barely taps the water and then pulls away again. “They’re not gonna hurt you sweetheart, they wouldn’t let people touch them if they thought someone would get hurt.” Finally, all of the apprehension Steve’s been holding onto seeps out of him and he submerges one hand in the water while he uses the other one to hold onto Eddie’s dry one. 
🐟🐟🐟
“Stevie, come and help me with this?” 
This being a trivia game along the wall while they wait to get into the next exhibit. There’s questions with buttons to press that light up green or red depending on if you’re right or wrong. All of the questions are a little lower than eye level for them, probably meant for the younger kids in the hallway but being older hasn’t stopped Eddie from being a kid at heart. 
“Okay, why is it called a spider crab?” There’s only two choices, and Eddie picks the one that makes the most sense. And gets a red light.
“How is it not because they have 8 legs? It’s just because they’re tall? That’s lame.” He gets an empathetic pat on the shoulder before Steve steps over to the next question.
“How many hearts does an octopus have? Wait, octopi have more than one heart?” Again, there are two choices and since it’s already wild to think about them having more than one heart, Eddie hits the button that says three – green. 
“How about that! Three whole hearts. Hey, Stevie?” The brunette has already started for the next question and only turns his head to show he’s listening. Eddie closes the distance before continuing, “If I were an octopus all three of my hearts would belong to you.” That gets him a smile and the tops of Steve’s ears going pink. A quick peck to the moles on Steve’s left cheek and then he refocuses on the questions in front of him. 
🐟🐟🐟
The hallway full of trivia ends with a small ramp leading into the Penguin Palooza. There’s two paths they can take, one that advertises walking with the penguins and the other leading to the normal viewing area. Eddie already knows it’s going to be worth it to go the first route when Steve turns to him in excitement. 
Walking with the penguins means turning left and finding an entrance only tall enough to get in if you kneel down. 
“Oh. Never mind, we don’t need to do this.” Steve’s already backing up a couple steps, hand pulling at Eddie to go back the other way. And Eddie knows that crawling is going to be rough on his hips, but they haven’t hurt yet today and if he goes slow then he should be fine. So instead of following Steve’s pulling, he squeezes his hand once and then lets go to get situated on the floor. 
“No, I mean it. We’ll still get to see them if we go the other way. Ed-”
The carpet is an odd texture when Eddie places his hands on it. Somehow it’s the same rough you expect to give you carpet burn while also being smooth. He’s mainly glad that it’s dry as he crawls under the entrance to be face to face with a couple of interconnected tunnels. There’s areas with light pooled in one spot that he can see either kids standing in or adults going up on just their knees. Shuffling noises sound behind him and he glances back to see Steve crawling behind him, brown hair falling slightly into his eyes. Light pools down on them and when Eddie glances up he understands what the signs meant now. Penguins surround the dome he kneels up in to, one staring him down as he grins at it. Warmth presses against his side and he feels more than hears the gasp Steve lets out. 
“This is so cool.” 
🐟🐟🐟
“Did you see that penguins mate for life?” A nod and then Steve’s continuing, “They’re just like us.” And now it’s Eddie’s turn to blush. He pulls some hair from his shoulder to hide behind and tries to distract Steve by pulling him towards the amphitheater. This time they have to walk up a slight ramp, painted murals of dolphins covering the walls. It’s a lot cooler when they get to the end and there’s an usher standing at the doors gesturing them closer.
“Hey, show’s about to start. There should be a couple more seats available.” 
Through the doors is a massive pool, seats like a theatre pressed up against one wall. They have to walk in front of everyone to find their seats which could’ve made Eddie nervous if it weren’t for the mime he sees ahead of them dancing behind a family finding their own seats. Every time the dad turns to see what the crowd is laughing at the mime stops dancing and pretends to whistle. Only to start skipping as soon as the dad turns again. A young boy starts walking the opposite way and the mime switches tactics to follow him. This time he’s ‘playing’ a trumpet as the boy makes his way to the exit. When Steve and Eddie walk by, the mime changes course again but this time he just hooks his elbow with Eddie as though the three of them are going on a walk together. It reminds him of Robin hanging onto Steve’s other side when the three of them cuddle up on the couch. 
Steve finds an aisled staircase to walk up and Eddie nudges the mime before they can let go. He nods his head towards with a smirk and hopes the mime can think quick on his feet. 
“Wow, you’re just going to leave me like this?” He projects his voice slightly, eyes catching a couple of bystanders’ faces as he does. By the time his boyfriend turns to him Eddie’s wiped the smile off of his face and is doing his best impression of someone who’s been cheated on. “I can’t believe you. I thought what we had was special.” This time he turns away from Steve and towards the mime, face tilted up towards the ceiling fluttering his eyes like he’s about to cry. “Take me away from this place, Jeffery.” He peeks one eye open to see the mime playing along, an exaggerated frown on his face. A laugh almost escapes but he covers it with a fake hiccup like he’s about to cry. And then he puts a lot of trust in Jeffery and falls back like a fainting damsel. Surprisingly, the mime catches him and fans at his face. When he opens his eyes it’s to Steve with his arms crossed over his chest and shaking his head. The right side of his mouth looks like it’s being chewed on, his tell that he’s trying his hardest not to smile. Then he shocks Eddie and plays along.
“Yeah, well you can have him, Jeffery.” His voice is deeper than usual, almost like how he sounded as King Steve, and he clicks his tongue before heading towards a couple of empty seats. The mime, good sport that he is, pats Eddie’s shoulder and pretends to roll up his sleeves. Shadow boxing the air behind Steve is what does Eddie in before he’s laughing hard enough there’s genuine tears in his eyes. 
“Thanks, man.” Eddie knows the mime can’t respond in words but he does get a nod of respect as the bystanders clap at their act. He and the mime bow to the crowd, each trying to bow down lower than the other. Eddie calls it when his hip twinges and he finally heads off to seat next to Steve. His baby is chuckling when he sits down and Eddie grins. “Sorry, babe. Had to give the people what they want.”
🐟🐟🐟
Bright florescent lights nearly blind Eddie when they step into the gift shop. Luckily, his eyes adjust pretty quickly and he’s able to actually take in the different gifts in front of him. There’s a tower of stuffed clown fish in the center of the entrance, a couple sitting lopsided at the bottom where kids have nearly brought the stack down. Shelves line the right side of the shop, and they’ve got something for everyone: snow globes with turtles floating in the middle, all kinds of shark figurines, and even different sea animals made into squish balls. 
Across from the shelves are racks lining the other wall. All of the items hanging are pastel with the aquarium’s logo smack in the middle of the chest. A cozy sweatshirt seems to call to Steve, his boyfriend’s hands already tucking into the arms of the hoodie to see if the inside is soft. Steve does this a lot to check that he’ll like the way the fabric feels before he buys it. 
Eddie takes this opportunity to search through the spinning racks covered in different key chains. It only feels right to get Wayne one to match. Might’ve been X years in the making, but the Munsons deserve matching keychains. There’s so many different ones to look at so Eddie focuses more on which ones Wayne definitely will not use. This gets rid of any of them with his name on it (‘Not that old yet, Ed. Don’t need something with my name on it.’) and while the tiny pocket knives are cute, Eddie knows that they’d probably break in a week. 
Steve joins him at the rack when he sees it: a whale shark dangling on a tiny chain. There’s a couple random fish hanging in front of it so he has to awkwardly juggle those into his hands without dropping them to get to the one he wants. When he holds it up to inspect closer, there’s a small chip in one of the fins but he figures that just adds some character to it. There’s only one thing in Steve’s hands when he turns around and it isn’t the sweatshirt he was checking out. No, it’s a massive whale shark. Like big enough that the head is resting on Steve’s chest and the tail is curled on his shins. Even without touching it Eddie can tell that it’s soft. 
“Holy shit!” It’s just as soft as it looks when he reaches out to pet it. His chipped black nails almost blend in with the dark navy of the shark. All of the spots on its back are a cream color just like the stomach and face of the shark. “How do I get one of these?” When he looks up at Steve’s face again, the other boy’s face is turned in a frown, but something seems off about it.
“Well, this is actually the last one…” His voice is serious, but there’s a crinkle next to Steve’s eye like he’s fighting a smile. Eddie squints at him. “But I could let it go for the low price of a kiss.” Finally, the smile wins out and Steve’s beaming at Eddie. It takes a moment for the words to catch up, but when they do Eddie practically jumps to close the distance. The stuffed animal between them doesn’t do much but mess up his trajectory and they end up bumping noses instead of lips. His second attempt is better, lips slotting onto Steve’s messily – both smiling too much for it to be a deep kiss. Eddie’s free hand comes up to cup the side of Steve’s face, thumb tracing over the corner of his lover’s smile when he kisses him again. Three quick pecks and then he backs off again, rocking onto the heels of his feet. Steve looks dazed but happy, grin lopsided and taking up his whole face. 
“That’s my payment good sir! Can I hold her?” Soft plush fills his arms and Steve takes the keychain before Eddie can drop it. They walk up to the cashier together and Eddie hears a couple kids gasp as he walks by with his prize. He’s already decided to name her Lady Krilina Chewsalot and he can’t wait to see how much space she takes up on the bed. 
🐟🐟🐟
Sunset has come and gone by the time they get back to Hawkins and the porch light greets them when they pull up to the Munson trailer. Lady Krilina Chewsalot (Lady K.C.) had been exiled to the backseat when her head blocked the view of the rear view mirror. Eddie reaches into the backseat for her now, pulling her back into his lap and pulling the handle to step out of the car. 
“Time to go introduce Wayne to his grand-daughter.” Steve just shakes his head and steps out, grabbing the small bag holding souvenirs for the group. 
“Wayne!! I’ve got a surprise for you, old man!” Eddie calls out as he unlocks the door, tucking his new friend behind his back before stepping fully into the trailer. His uncle’s sitting on the couch, some black and white western playing on the TV. “I’ve got important news.” He pauses just long enough for Wayne to start to turn and then tugs the whale shark from his back and holds it in front of him with his arms outstretched. 
“You’re a grandpa.” Lady K.C. blocks his view but Eddie can hear Wayne laughing anyway and it tugs at his heart. There are few things better than getting a laugh out of the older man. When he moves the plush down, Wayne’s turned on the couch with his arm resting on the back so he can see the boys clearly. Steve comes up beside him and passes the keychain to Eddie, moving the whale shark to his hands to take her in the direction of Eddie’s room. (Steve hopes he can convince Eddie to keep her at his desk while he stays over so he has bed space. He won’t be successful.)
“Nice one, Ed. Did you boys have fun?” The couch creaks when Eddie sits on it, springs noisy with age, and he holds his hand out to Wayne.
“It was just as cool as I remember. They added some new stuff too – we might have to all go again sometime. We got you this.” 
Wayne’s weathered hand takes the key chain gently and lets the whale shark dangle in the air for a moment before smiling. “Thought we needed to match?” The words are teasing but there seems to be a gleam in Wayne’s eye when he glances at Eddie. Sometimes he gets like this, Eddie will do something that reminds him of years past and he’ll get lost in the memory. It worries Eddie a bit, but Wayne just says it’s like seeing the younger version of him overlap with the young man he is today. 
🐟🐟🐟
Eddie’s blinds only do so much to block out the streetlamp outside and it paints his room in a dim yellow no matter the time of night. He used to complain about it but after the Upside Down it’s nice to be able to wake up and see everything semi-clearly. The light leaves an outline of Steve next to him, lying on his back with one arm resting on his own chest and the other reaching towards the side of the bed Eddie is on. Normally he’d be curled up on Steve’s chest and having his hair played with, but tonight Eddie’s opted to pet the face and sides of Lady Krilina Chewsalot to fully calm down before bed. 
“Happy anniversary, baby.” Sleep seeps into Steve’s words and they come out as little more than a whisper. He yawns and turns on his side and scoots a little closer to Eddie.
“Today was amazing. Thanks, sweetheart. Happy anniversary.” When Eddie doesn’t move to push Lady K.C. away Steve sighs and gently nudges at Eddie’s shoulder. 
“C’mon, Ed, let’s go to bed. You can hold your shark tomorrow.” 
A scandalized gasp turns into a yawn when Eddie goes to answer. “You can’t make me get rid of her so easily. She is my baby.”
“Mhm. Of course not, wouldn’t dream of it.” Steve’s eyes are closed as he talks, nudging Eddie again but this time trying to roll him over. When he does finally turn onto his side, Steve scoots in quick to cuddle up to his back. It’s all warmth where their bodies connect, Steve attached like a shadow to Eddie so that he can keep cuddling with his whale shark. A kiss is pressed to the back of Eddie’s head and then Steve relaxes with a content sigh.
“G’night, Ed.” It doesn’t take long at all for sleep to take Eddie too. 
Both boys doze off, hearts beating in time with the other.
~
Thank you @snowdepths for letting me use the line "if i were an octopus all three of my hearts would belong to you"!!
(Fun fact for this piece: I had 5 tabs open for different aquarium facts/layouts to try and make this accurate. 😅)
29 notes · View notes
gothgoblinbabe · 4 hours
Text
Drunken Words, Sober Thoughts (pt.2)
Logan Howlett x afab!/fem reader
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divider credit
Warnings: MDNI/18+, mostly porn w little plot, unprotected sex (wrap it up pls), afab!reader, being referred to as a girl, use of pet names, very light choking, filming sex/making a sex tape, swearing, I believe that is it but if i missed any pls lmk <3 I also didn’t proofread this one as much as I usually do so forgive me for any mistakes or inconsistencies!
Summary: [based on this ask] I don’t know what to really say for this one cause I feel like the ask explains it perfectly lol, but part 1 is here if you want to read it but this also works as a stand alone thing. I did tweak a couple of things from the ask but nothing major!
Word count: 5.5K
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Since you and Logan had gotten to know each other a little better, you were over his and Wade’s apartment sometimes more than your own. He’d begun to make himself comfortable in yours too, finding himself waking up in your decorative sheets with the morning sun shining onto the pictures taped to your wall. It was a comfortable routine you’d started; waking up in each other's beds, going out to eat at some 24 hour diner when neither of you could sleep, talking with each other till the sun came up. Weekends with Wade even turned to weekends with Wade and Logan, your legs slung over your boyfriend's lap with his arm around your shoulder.
Unfortunately for him, though, you and Wade would not budge on Keeping Up With The Kardashians.
“I still don’t get it,” he grumbled next to you on the couch, quirking an eyebrow at you and his roommate, “what the hell are they famous for, anyway?”
“Well,” you began to explain, raising the remote to mute the TV, “their dad was a really famous lawyer, he defended O-”
“Nope,” Wade piped up from beside you through a mouthful of chips, “you know that’s not the real reason they’re famous, cupcake.”
You turned to narrow your eyes at him, “C’mon, you don’t mean -”
“Mhm,” he hummed, eyes flickering from you to the muted TV so he could read the subtitles without missing a beat.
“What?” Logan finally asked, clearly frustrated that neither of you would clue him in.
You sighed, rolling your eyes and laughing a bit to yourself, “Okay, so, Kim? The main sister?”
He nodded, “the one with the huge -”
“Yes, her.”
“Uh-huh.”
“Okay, she used to date this singer Ray J and in the early two thousands, they made a sex tape. It got leaked somehow and she kinda shot into fame and I guess her family followed,” you explained simply.
“You should show him the tape,” Wade chimed in again, taking the remote from your lap and unmuting the TV.
“Jesus, I’m not gonna do that,” you shook your head, “I don’t think he’d wanna see it.”
“You’d be right,” Logan agreed, cringing a little.
“You two should make your own, then. You can finally be famous for somethin’ else, peanut!” Wade suggested, poking at his roommate's shoulder, “plus, with a pretty girl? Man, that would blow up.”
You rolled your eyes and scoffed. That was seemingly the end of the discussion, except Logan couldn’t get Wade’s words to leave his brain.
You two should make your own, then.
It stuck with him to the point that he was staring at his ceiling that night, listening to your steady breathing as you slept beside him, still unable to think of anything else. It was a bad idea, wasn’t it? He couldn’t ask you to do that with him. Could he?
He couldn’t shake the image of you on the screen of some camera, your back to his chest as he fucked you from behind and you batted your pretty eyes at the lens. He’d never let another soul see it, it would be something just between the two of you - something he’d definitely keep to watch a million times over. He looked around his apartment the next day after you'd gone to work to see if maybe Wade had an old camera somewhere - one he wouldn’t miss if he never saw it again. He dug out a silver camcorder from the junk drawer in the kitchen, turning it over in his hands. It looked like one you’d find on a shelf in a radioshack - when they were still around - something you’d use to film a kid’s high school graduation in the mid two thousands. As long as it worked, it would do. He fumbled the thing open, pressing a couple buttons before the screen finally lit up and gave him the option to look through the album. There were only three things on there - a blurry picture of Wade’s shoes, an even blurrier picture of half of his face and a twelve second video of him trying to film Logan while he swatted the camera out of his hands and onto the floor.
He found a charger and hooked it up to the wall, already thinking over how exactly he was going to approach the subject with you. If he was going to be able to do what he’d been thinking about, that camera had to be charged to last for at least a couple of hours. He’d planned to stay the night at your place and figured he’d try to work up the nerve to ask then.
He found himself on your couch later that night, his thighs spread while you sat in his lap and played with his hair. He was leaving kisses down your throat, his hands on the sides of your thighs.
“Can I ask you somethin’, sweetheart?” he mumbled into your skin. He pulled his face away to look into your eyes.
“Hm?” you raised your eyebrows, waiting for him to continue.
He almost felt dirty for what he was about to ask of you - like he was perverted for even considering it when you looked at him so sweetly.
His eyes moved from your face to his jacket laying beside him and he reached into the pocket, pulling out the small camera.
“I kinda wanted to try somethin’ a little different.”
Your lips parted when you realized what he was holding, eyes flickering from the device to his face. He watched your lips curl up into a smile. You knew instantly what he was about to ask when you remembered your conversation from the night before.
“You wanna film a sex tape?”
He swallowed hard, fearful that you were about to scoff and lift yourself off him. Instead, you rested your hand over his that held the camera, “I wonder where you got that idea.”
You took it from his hand, flipping it open and turning it on. You held it up and hit record, smirking when he rolled his eyes at you.
“I didn’t say I wanted my face all in it,” he scoffed, a smile tugging at his lips.
“What, you think I’m gonna let you only film me?” you pulled the camera from your face, quirking an eyebrow at him, “uh-uh, babe. If this is gonna be our sex tape, I want you in it.”
He huffed, glaring at you through the lens.
“Besides,” you continued, “you’re acting like you're the only one who's gonna like it.”
“So, you’re not upset that I asked?”
You shook your head, “Upset that a hot guy asked to film himself screwing my brains out? Hell no.”
He gnawed at his bottom lip and watched you fiddle with the camera, clicking through settings and trying out filters. Screw your brains out, huh? He could do that. He wouldn't admit it even if you asked, but he was turned on beyond belief from the idea that you’d watch it when he wasn’t with you - he liked the idea of putting on a performance for you, giving you what you want so you’d stuff the little vibrator you kept in the drawer of your nightstand inside your aching pussy when you watched it back, your eyes trained on his face and remembering how good he’d made you feel.
“It’s kind of an older camera,” Logan began, his hands wrapping around the back of your thighs, “maybe we should test it out, see if it works?”
“Oh, should we?”
He stood up in seconds, his strong arms holding you up by your thighs as he carried you to your room. You giggled, your arms wrapped around the back of his neck. You held the camera up to film yourself. Your face was in frame, Logan only visible by the back of his head as you stretched your arm out.
“This is my very sexy boyfriend, taking me to bed,” you narrated, kissing the side of his face.
“Shut up,” he grumbled, burying his face in your neck as he nudged your door open with his foot. He dropped you onto the bed and you kept the camera trained on him as he crawled over you.
“You’re gonna keep that damn thing on my face the whole time?” 
He leaned over you with his hands on either side of your head, his bulging muscles even more prominent from your angle underneath him. His tongue stuck out the corner of his mouth, licking over his lips. You wouldn’t mind if the whole video was just from this angle.
“You look fucking hot.”
He was a little taken back by your compliment. Even after months of sleeping together, he still wasn’t used to the praise, dismissing you with a scoff or simply hiding his red face.
“Look who’s talkin’.”
Logan snatched the camera from your hands in one quick swipe, sitting back on his heels so he could get all of you in frame. You sat up, tugging your shirt over your head and tossing it somewhere off the bed, leaving you in your bra and jeans. You looked angelic underneath him with your hair spread around your head like a halo, your chest heaving in excitement. You bit your lip and grabbed the end of his shirt to pull him closer to you, lidded eyes staring up at him.
“Fuck.”
He groaned, letting you pull him down and slip your tongue into his mouth. He haphazardly placed the camera on your bedside table, glancing at it momentarily to make sure it was on before diving back onto you.
His hands slid up your back and under the band of your bra. He unhooked the clasp and pushed the straps down your shoulders, pulling the garment from your chest and licking his lips in awe. It didn’t matter how often he saw you naked; each time was like the first.
His mouth latched onto your chest almost immediately, swirling his tongue and sucking in a way that elicited a moan from your lips. Your back arched and he hooked his arm around your waist to pull you as close as possible. He was sucking dark marks into your soft skin, leaving each one shiny with his saliva. If there was one thing you were sure of with Logan, it was that he really loved being messy when he toyed with you.
He dragged his lips from your chest down your waistband, leaving tender kisses on your stomach and sides. Over time, he’d slowly gotten more affectionate - more loving and emotional - during sex. He always showed it the best he could, but he was clearly becoming more comfortable being vulnerable with you. He still had his animalistic and rough ways about him, but now it was combined with soft kisses to your nose and forehead, mumbled praises into your mouth and declarations of love while you panted from the pace of his thrusts. 
Logan stopped at the waistband of your jeans, his fingers popping the metal button with little hesitation. You wordlessly lifted your hips for him to drag them down your thighs, leaving you only in your panties. He leaned over to grab the camera from the table, leaning back a bit to get you in frame.
“So fuckin’ pretty,” he huffed, his free hand immediately sliding between your thighs to graze his fingers against the damp fabric, “all for me?”
You nodded, hooded eyes and parted lips posing for the camera, “yours, all yours.”
Logan was chewing on his bottom lip while he admired you from behind the camera. He knew without a doubt that you were the prettiest girl he’d ever been with; none of those dirty magazines or tapes he’d seen over the years could even compare to what was in front of him now. You were positively heavenly, a type of beauty so alluring that it bordered being otherworldly. 
He finally used his free hand to remove your panties when you lifted your hips, set on recording as much as he could from the perspective he had because fuck, it was a good one.
Laying in front of him - completely bare - with the camera focused on you made you feel vulnerable and a little shy and Logan was always able to read you.
He wanted to focus on you even more, but he instead handed the device over to you when he sensed your mild discomfort, the lens facing him.
“Here,” was all he said, letting you bring the camera up to your eye before he tugged his t-shirt over his head. He knew you clearly enjoyed filming him and even if he didn’t love the idea of being the object of attention, he wanted you to be comfortable and he’d sacrifice his own comfort for you any day. So, once he was shirtless, he stood off the bed in front of you to strip himself of his jeans and boxers, letting his hard cock spring up to hit his stomach when he took off the latter.
You had - fortunately for you - figured out the zoom option on the camera and used it to perfectly frame his leaking cock as the only thing in the shot, bobbing when he moved towards you to take the device back. When he did, he set it on the table next to the bed, messing with the same zoom option so that the shot was of you sitting up with your legs spread and your cunt aching to be touched.
Settling himself on his stomach between your legs, he hiked your thighs onto his shoulder, his mouth inches from your heat.
“Do me a favor, sweetheart,” he began and you nodded, ready to agree to anything he asked of you, “be as loud as you can, yeah? Wanna be able to hear ya’ on tape.”
He instantly delved his tongue into you, making you gasp. You tenderly rested your hands on his arms that were hooked around your thighs as if you were encouraging him to stay there.
He ate you every time like he was starving, his cheeks and chin always slick with saliva and sap from between your legs when he finally pulled himself off you.
You did as he instructed - though, you were probably going to do it anyway - moaning openly as he licked stripes up your dripping cunt so he could circle his tongue around your clit. 
“Oh my god,” you whined, your thighs clamping around his head out of instinct. He let you thread your fingers through his hair, tugging at the dark strands to help angle his head and making him growl with his mouth still suctioned to you.
You felt around beside you for the camera, fumbling with it till you had the lens angled at him in between your legs.
“Fuck, L-Logan,” you panted, lovingly caressing his temple with your free hand.
“Mhm,” he hummed into you, the vibration pulling a whimper from your throat, “you like holding that thing, huh?”
Your eyes were glued to his through the small screen.
“You’re so fucking hot, of course I do,” you sighed, your lips parted and chest heaving.
He scoffed in amusement, continuing to slip his tongue between your folds and prod at your entrance. With his face still buried in you and his eyes closed in concentration, he took the camera from you and set it back on the table. He used his arms around your thighs to yank you further down the bed so you were flat on your back. You watched in awe as he spat a mouthful of saliva right onto your already soaked pussy, using his fingers to swipe his spit all over you. Latching his lips back onto your clit, he easily slipped two of his digits into you, feverishly pumping in and out. Your moans grew louder with each thrust of his fingers, echoing off your walls along with the wet noises that came from your soaked cunt. 
“You’re such a good girl for me, lettin’ me eat your pretty pussy,” he rambled, voice muffled by your thighs, “always so fuckin’ good.”
You inhaled sharply when he gently rolled your clit between his teeth, licking after like a balm to soothe the searing sensation. You thought you couldn’t moan any louder until he replaced his fingers inside you with his tongue, angling his mouth in a way that made his nose nudge your bundle of nerves.
“Only good for you,” you managed to choke out, turning your head to the side to bury it in your pillow, “only for you.”
His hand slid up to grope your chest, pinching your nipple between his fingers. He slid it up even further to grab your chin and turn your head so you were forced to look at him. 
“Eyes on me, baby,” he grumbled.
“Ah - uh-huh,” you tried to make some noise of agreement but were overwhelmed with how he was expertly tracing your cunt with his tongue.
Until he detached his mouth from you completely.
You groaned in frustration and knitted your eyebrows, silently asking why he stopped.
“Use your words or I’ll stop. Ya’ got it?”
His stern voice sent shivers down your spine. 
“Yes, baby, please -“
His tongue was already back in between your folds by the time you said yes. He kept his vice like grip around your thighs, deciding he’d be content if he died right there with his head between your legs.
“Love when you - when you - fuck - eat me out,” you panted, “you make me feel so good.”
You knew how much he secretly loved the praise, catching the way he ground his hips into the mattress to find some sort of relief whenever you told him he was doing a good job, that he was so handsome, that you loved what he was doing to you. He was usually the dominant one in the relationship, whispering praises in your ear while you were underneath him, but you knew him well enough by now to have figured out that he loved when you did it back.
“You’re perfect, Logan, I - ah - I love you,” you gasped when his fingers pumped back into you.
It wasn’t all about sex with you two - though it was a wonderful part of your relationship - and yet he’d discovered that he’d never felt more loved than he had when he was with you, declaring your love for him while he completely devoted himself to you with his face in your pussy. 
“I love you, too, pretty girl,” he grunted, “love fuckin’ you with my mouth.”
His filthy words fueled the fire building in your lower stomach and you tugged at his hair in an attempt to warn him.
“ ‘m gonna come,” you slurred, ankles locked on Logan’s back to keep him in place.
“Come for me, beautiful, c’mon,” he coaxed while his fingers abused the spot inside of you that made you whimper to encourage him to keep going, “want it all, want you to come on my face.”
That was definitely what sent you over the edge, mumbling unintelligible praises as he lapped up anything that had spilled out of you and onto his tongue. 
“Tastes so damn good,” he heaved, his fingers still working at a consistent pace, “I think I can pull another one outta you.”
You felt tears beginning to form in your eyes from the overstimulation, crying out when he grazed your swollen clit with his teeth.
“ ‘s too - too much,” you tried to pull his head away by tugging his hair, to no avail. 
He’d let you go, but not without one more taste of you.
It only took a couple more flicks of his tongue to have you arching your back, tears rolling down the sides of your face as you gushed around his fingers for a second time.
When he finally slipped his fingers out of you and he’d left the comfortable spot between your warm thighs, you could see that his entire lower face was almost completely slick with a mix of his spit and your cum. He was licking his lips, trying to savor the taste of you but making no attempt to wipe anything off his chin or cheeks. He was in love with you but he was also in love with the reality that he got to do this to you, that he got to taste every bit, that you wanted him to. You sat up to give him a desperate kiss - a clash of tongues and teeth that tasted entirely of you. You finally pulled away to admire his face.
Seeing him with his hair disheveled from your repeated tugging, his lips near swollen and raw and his cheeks still shining made you crave the idea of returning the favor. 
“Sit on the edge of the bed, baby.”
Though he was usually the one giving orders instead of following them, he obliged anyway. His cock was still leaking in anticipation, hard against his stomach. When you got down on your knees in front of him, he couldn’t hide the excited smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. He never expected you to return the favor when he used his mouth on you - content with that being a reward itself - but when you did? You usually left him shaking.
You took the camera from the table and handed it up to Logan, eager eyes following the lens.
“Can I suck your cock? Please?”
You knew he loved it when you begged and you always used it to get him exactly where you wanted him, especially when you looked up at him with those pleading eyes.
“Go ahead, baby,” he used his free hand to loosely hold your hair back in his fist, “I know you like havin’ it in your mouth, huh?”
You nodded eagerly, your hand wrapping around the base of his shaft. You hovered your mouth over his tip, letting a glob of spit drip from your lips so you could coat his cock in it before you tried to take him in your throat. You’d done it before, but he was huge and every time you tried to prep to make it easier. Your jaw even became sore sometimes from how wide you’d have to keep your mouth open. You never complained, though, because the mere idea of having the weight of Logan’s heavy cock in your mouth was enough to make you drool.
You spread your saliva up and down, leaning forward and dragging his tip across your parted lips while staring up at the lens of the camera.
“Jesus Christ,” he muttered, focused on you through the small screen, “such a fucking tease.”
You grinned, placing a light kiss on his tip before engulfing him into your mouth, tongue sliding along his slit to taste the small amount of precum that’d dripped from him when he first sat up. You suctioned and began to work up a pace, taking him as far as you could into your mouth while your hand stroked the rest of him.
“I love giving you head,” you admitted in the most sultry way possible when you popped your lips off his tip, long lashes batting up at him. It wasn’t a lie, either, and that was clear by how sloppy you loved to be whenever it was your turn to be on your knees. If you had at least one thing in common, it was that you wanted to worship each other as much as possible. You wanted to leave him in a state of euphoria the same way he did you, just as messily dedicated to making sure he came.
“Yeah? I can tell, sweetheart,” he still held the camera but his eyes were trained on your face, “such a good girl, sucking my cock like you were made for it.”
You tried to push him further into your throat, eager to see his thighs shake and hear him groan your name. You gagged on his tip and he inadvertently rolled his hips. You hummed, eyes starting to water every time you choked on his dick. You used your free hand to cup his balls and smeared your saliva down from the base of his cock to coat them. You pulled yourself off his mouth momentarily to spit on him again, licking your lips in excitement.
“Fuck’s sake,” he grunted, camera abandoned on the side of the bed so he could place both his hands on the back of your head, “doin’ so fucking good, princess.”
You continued to stroke him with one hand and massage his balls in the other, your tongue still swirling and sucking around him. You popped off him with a smile, spit covering your lips and chin while your hands continued their motion.
Logan leaned back on his elbows and held the camera up again with one hand. When you wrapped your lips around his cock again, he started to roll his hips at a steady pace so he could fuck your throat, grunting every time you gagged around him. 
You picked up your pace, stroking his base while your head bobbed up and down in synch with your hand.
“Atta girl,” he panted, “jus’ like that.”
You could tell he was already close because he was sloppily rocking his hips up into your mouth, his thighs beginning to shake every time he hit the back of your throat. He sat up suddenly, grabbing your hair again to slowly pull you off his cock.
“On the bed, hands and knees,” he instructed simply, letting you scramble onto the mattress as he set up the camera on the end of your bed. You understood almost instantly what he wanted, biting back a smile as you laid your chest flat on the mattress, back arched with your ass in the air. 
He climbed behind you and placed his knees on the inside of yours to push your legs apart even further. His large hands gripped your hips and he pulled you against him, his hard cock prodding your entrance. He leaned his body over yours so that your back was flush with his chest.
“I’m gonna fuck this pretty pussy like you deserve,” he muttered into your ear, intoxicating you with the feeling of his hot breath fanning the side of your face, “think you can take it, sweetheart?”
You nodded eagerly and gasped when he dragged the tip of his cock along the folds of your dripping cunt.
“Can take it - I want it so bad, Logan,” you pleaded, pushing back into him. Your eyes bore into the camera, lips parted. It was his idea for a sex tape after all, you might as well be sure to give him a show.
He sheathed himself into you completely in one thrust with an iron grip on your hips, the weight of him pushing into you almost knocking the wind out of your lungs. He began to slowly inch himself out and slam back in again, pulling out a little further each time. He was grunting into the back of your neck while he rocked his hips. 
“Takin’ it so good, baby,” he panted, one of his hands moving to your neck and barely applying pressure while the other held his upper body above yours. His lips came to the side of your face and left a kiss so sweet that it could’ve rotted your teeth.
You whimpered when he worked up to a steady pace and reveled in the sensation of him filling you completely. Your fingers gripped the sheets, desperate for something to hold onto so you could stable yourself when his hard thrusts nearly knocked you over completely.
“S-so fucking - ah - so good,” you slurred your words with your eyes squeezed shut. You were slack jawed, nearly drooling.
“Yeah? Can tell you like it,” he huffed, “you’re so pretty, takin’ all of me like a good girl.”
You nodded frantically, whimpering every time he slammed into you.
“You like bein’ on camera, don’t you?” he continued, “you’re really fucking wet.”
You could only moan in response. You were soaking around him, drenching the base of his cock and the happy trail that went up to his stomach. He leaned back on his knees and his pace never faltered. 
Your hands outstretched in front of you and you grabbed the camera. You angled it over your shoulder and focused the lens on his face, eyebrows furrowed in concentration.
He scoffed when he noticed the camera over your shoulder, keeping his rhythm while his eyes were glued to the lens. If he thought too hard about what you might do with the video later, he wasn’t going to last much longer. 
“Feels good, baby?” you panted, an amused smile creeping onto your face.
He was always the one to talk to you like that - pet names and filthy encouragement - but you wanted to get his face on film when you teased him back - or, at least tried to. 
His expression mirrored yours and he grabbed the camera while his other hand kept an iron grip on your hip.
“I think you like holdin’ that thing a little too much,” he brought it up to his face and squinted at you through the screen.
“Mm,” you hummed, your face flushed and body sticky with sweat, “can’t help it.”
“You look fuckin’ gorgeous like this, you know that? God,” he sighed, “can’t get enough of you.”
You would’ve found his words endearing if you could even process them. The intoxicating feeling every time he pushed back into you was enough to render you speechless.
Logan angled the camera down to film the repeated motion, gaping at the mess you left around the base of him every time he pulled back.
“My dirty girl,” he cooed, “you like makin’ a mess on my cock?”
“F-Fuck - yes, yes,” you sobbed before he even finished his sentence. You could feel the pressure building in your stomach, bringing you closer to finishing.
“C’mon, sweetheart, I can feel you gettin’ tighter. Come for me, baby,” he grunted, his hand sliding from your hip to grip your ass.
It only took a few more strokes for you to do exactly that with your legs shaking underneath you. 
“ ‘Atta girl,” he growled. He watched you gush around him, zooming in on your dripping pussy as he stretched you out over and over again. You were chanting his name, muttering unintelligible praises against your sheets.
It wasn’t long before he followed suit, his pace becoming sloppy as he spilled into you and let it drip down your thighs. He clicked off the camera and tossed it somewhere else onto the bed. 
“C’mere,” he huffed, pulling you up to lean back against him, “love you so much.” He was leaving saccharine kisses from your ear down to your shoulder, still panting.
“I love you, too,” you managed to say with your eyes already half closed. He pulled out and laid you on your side, grabbing some t-shirt that had been next to the bed to clean you up. He wrapped you in his arms from behind and pulled up the comforter to cover you both.
“Can’t wait to watch that back,” he mumbled into your neck.
“Mhm,” you were already drifting off to sleep while he stroked your hair, “me neither.”
Logan fell asleep right after you with his arms still around you and his legs tangled in yours.
—-----------------------------------
Later that same week, you sat on the couch beside Logan in his apartment, flipping through TV channels on a lazy day off. Wade emerged from his bedroom and began frantically tearing apart the kitchen.
“What are you looking for?” you called, turning in your seat.
“My old camera. Have you seen it?”
“No, I don’t think so.”
You thought you hadn’t, at least. You had know idea the camera Logan brought over was Wade’s.
He was pretending to be uninterested in the conversation, hoping his apathy towards the question would absolve him of any suspicion.
You shrugged and returned your attention to the TV. You heard a couple doors open and close before Wade’s voice echoed through the apartment.
“Found it!”
Logan went wide eyed and immediately stood up from the couch. 
You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion and looked between him and Wade when he came back into the living room.
And then you recognized the camera in his hands.
“Don’t open it, I’ll buy you a new one,” Logan insisted simply, holding out his hand.
“Oh, my god,” you muttered.
Wade's eyes flickered between you both.
“There’s something on here I’m not supposed to see, isn’t there?”
Logan immediately lunged for the camera and Wade sprinted into his bedroom, slamming his door shut and locking it. Logan pounded his fist on the door and tugged the doorknob.
“Open the door, you son of a bitch!”
You buried your face into the fabric of the couch cushion, anticipating the embarrassment of Wade seeing what was still on that camera.
He opened the door after a minute, giant smile plastered on his face.
“Here you go,” he said in a sing song voice as he handed it over.
You sighed in relief, assuming he’d decided to actually abide by your requests. He closed his bedroom door, only speaking again after you heard the lock click.
“Hey, by the way - can i get a copy?”
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A/N: I struggled a lil bit w this one just bc of writers block but I hope it lived up to expectations <3 pls interact if you enjoyed!
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edenkyubiko · 3 days
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BIRTHDAY APPRECIATION POST ‼️‼️🎂
Let me @ the lovely people first before I get sappy!
@tw1nkee28 @doodling-doodle @sw11ft @imakosideas @olibird @pampanope
IF I'M FORGETTING/DON'T HAVE YOUR @ PLEASE LET ME KNOW!
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AUGH, I CAN'T ADD THEM ALL BUT I TRIED MY BEST
now for the sappy mushy lovey dovey part
I just want to start by saying how incredibly thankful I am to Pam for creating this amazing server. It came into my life at a time when I really needed it. I had been feeling out of place and alone, even in some of the other groups I was part of. But when I joined here, I immediately felt surrounded by people who share the same interests and hobbies as me. And what makes it even better is that we can talk about anything!
I've met some truly wonderful people, and you all have helped me grow so much as an artist. For the longest time, I struggled with developing my character and writing, but being around all of you, watching everyone create and seeing how we lift each other up with love and support — even for the silliest things — has made my heart swell. It’s something I wasn’t used to before. I’ve never received such kind words or encouragement for my work, and hearing them from you all genuinely makes my day every single time.
Just being able to talk or text with you guys while I’m working on something or playing a game means more to me than I can put into words. You have no idea how much those little moments matter to me. I honestly wish I could give you all the biggest hug.
And the fact that you all went out of your way to create these masterpieces for me... I’m honestly baffled. I’m not used to receiving gifts, so it’s been hard for me to learn how to accept them, but I was genuinely getting teary-eyed when people stayed up until midnight just to wish me a happy birthday. Birthdays have never been a big deal to me — I always treated them like any other day — but you all made this one truly unforgettable!
I'm glad that my 21st will forever be a core memory!
Now....just you wait :3
I have many things in store for everyone
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bunnihearted · 3 months
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regardless of the "learn how to be alone" dravel, being lonely actually is really bad for your mental health and can be very painful :p
#i've been doing so so bad#and i've had breakdowns frequently this past week#and i dont have friends or family or a partner or even a therapist lmao#so im alone and thus only feeling worse and worse#my mom has been in an unusual bad mood lately so i havent been able to talk to her at all#but today she asked me to go to her to the store bc she wanted me to buy smth#and on the way we watched the snails and she found them cute (she has never appreciated snails before)#and now i instantly feel a bit better and a bit more normal after only 15 min of hanging out with her#it's so easy for ppl who have family or friends or a partner to judge and criticize me#but like.... u have ppl close to u and u know nothing abt what it feels like to be in my position#it's so condescending and lacking of compassion#i dont understand your pov either but at least im not TELLING YOU directly how much i judge you#like ppl judge me so hard for feeling miserable in my loneliness... but it's easy for u to say those things#like u dont feel my despairing loneliness bc u have a fkn partner. u have fkn friends. or a fkn family. easy for u to judge me from up ther#anyway im much better at being alone than most ppl bc im still alive and im enduring the pain every day#other ppl have ppl around them 💀 only others who are all alone can understand how much it hurts#and it wont be fixed by loving yourself or loving to be alone or whatever other bs they use to criticize u ._.#being alone IS harmful to your health. there are studies on it and im not just making that shit up#i AM allowed to feel pain bc i dont have anyone#ugh esp ppl w partners who can receive physical and romantic attention.... when they judge me.....#stfu forever u have no idea how i feel 💀 and u could never know simply by having had a partner at all...#but yeah. it bothers me too bc i NEVER see someone on here and go#damn i hate this sm i gotta let them know by sending them anons or vague post abt them#like i dont get up in their faces and tell them all my judgemental or bitter or hateful thoughts abt them#even this post is only bc other ppl have taken the liberty to without my consent or having asked tell me directly how pathetic i am#how im not allowed to feel alone. how i have a victim mentality so on and so forth#i never tell other ppl things like that. even if i think them (which honestly i rarely do unless they're extremely toxic TO other ppl) i wo#say shit abt it to them.... ??? like why?#when i sometimes see like ppl have friends on here or talk abt their partners i can feel bitter and jealous#bc im surrounded by seeing things i so deeply crave but im not a humanbeing worth of those things
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giantkillerjack · 4 months
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Uh-oh! You are like, SOOO awkward!!
You're so awkward that it is occasionally mildly uncomfortable for people!
You're so awkward that sometimes people are confused by you and then there are awkward silences!
You're so awkward ...... that ultimately no one is harmed!!
Oh damn!!! What a vile crime you have committed! What an unforgivable thing it is to make a fellow human briefly confused!
Why, if *I* were ever briefly confused and kind of uncomfortable as a result, I'd be devastated.... by the absolute net zero change in my happiness and health! - From which I might never recover!! Yes indeed! No punishment can ever be enough for you!!
So you better absolutely hate yourself for it.
Better be SO MEAN to yourself about every single missed social cue so you don't forget your horrible crime! Meaner than you'd ever dream of being to someone else for the same thing! This is YOUR responsibility!
You need to show the world that you KNOW you are bad by punishing yourself constantly! After all, think of all the people who BENEFIT from you punishing yourself! - No, really! Think about it! Think about who benefits from your pain.
Think of alllllll the definitely-good people that your definitely-necessary self-torment definitely helps! I mean, you can't just cut off their definitely-life-sustaining supply of your suffering, right?? Sure, everyone else has a breaking point, but you're probably the only person in human history who doesn't, right? Best not to question it probably. Sure, it's a symptom that billions of people with trauma have had, but who knows? You could be a one-in-seven-billion exception. Anything's possible!
Instead, better just accept that idea that bullies carry like guns in holsters - the idea that people who have trouble with social cues deserve to suffer. Better carry on the burden they placed on you until you drop. Aid the cause of the callous by enforcing shame and suffering upon yourself extra hard; try your best to do their work for them. They're very busy.
Better not recognize that you need patience and kindness to heal from your trauma. Better not find out that it was trauma rather than personal weakness filling your head with self-hating thoughts. Better not find out it wasn't your fault.
Better not find out that awkwardness is not inherently harmful or unkind, and, in fact, the people who act like it is *are the ones enacting harm and being cruel.*
Better not get righteously angry when you realize just how much unnecessary damage this has done to you. After all, if you get mad, you might realize you deserve better. You might even feel brave enough to DEMAND better! You might build boundaries that keep you safe! You might make other people think they deserve to feel safe too! And we obviously can't be having that, so...
Better not show yourself even a little kindness a little bit at a time.
Better not make a habit out of it after all that practice.
Better not get confident.
Especially if you can't first wipe out every trace of awkward. (And you probably never will. Because people who experience absolute social certainty at all times tend to be insufferable assholes that enforce the status quo. And you just don't have the stock portfolio for that.)
Better not be confident and awkward because then you might confuse and delight people
- you might accidentally end up making other people feel less shame for their social difficulties
- you might make isolated, traumatized, and shy people feel like they deserve to be included in social situations
- you might even make them feel they can be themselves around you
- you might start loving the effect you have on a room
- you might enjoy conversations more
- you might forgive yourself and bounce back from shame more easily and frequently
- you might come to enjoy some of those moments of harmless confusion you cause because NOBODY expects the Confident Awkward, and that can genuinely be an advantage in social situations
- you might stop apologizing so much.
- you might find that socializing is like a video game: it requires practice but also a safe space for it to be fun and positive.
Or if you can't become assertive and confident, better not remain awkward and shy and quiet, and then love and forgive yourself anyway!
Why, it would be carnage!!
In either scenario, you run the risk of finding out that it's not your fault that safe spaces full of kind people can be really hard to find, create, and nurture. You could end up building a skillset that helps you do those things if you're not careful!
If you start giving yourself even the tiniest amount of grace at a time, you will find that you've accessed a gateway drug with extreme long-term side effects:
- You might realize that it was never your fault that it took so long to like yourself.
- You might realize that you were always worth talking to, even when you didn't like yourself and communication felt impossibly difficult.
- You might realize that you'll still be worth talking to even if communication becomes harder as you age and/or experience disability.
- You might come to know that you deserve to be heard even on bad days when words come slow and blurry.
You might discover that you were always deserving of kindness, first and foremost from yourself.
So. As you can see, it's FAR too much of a risk to start granting your awkward self free pardons for your many heinous and harmless crimes. Better to just leave it there.
#social skills#i have a few posts now in my ' social skills' tag#original#maybe eventually I will compile them and polish them in some meaningful way. I know what I want to call the book title#in big text it'll say 'I'M AUTISTIC' and then beneath that in smaller text 'And I Have Better Social Skills Than You'#or something to that effect. and the cover of the book will be me making an exaggerated smug face like the little rascal I am#challenging the viewer to pick up the book and see if they can prove me wrong.#and then the entire first section of the book is about how actually the issue with our society's social skills is the harsh judgment#for people who have trouble communicating and not the other way around. I don't actually think I'm the#most charismatic person in the world by a very long shot. but i do know that I have put more thought into my social skills than#most allistic people and frankly i have surpassed most of them. not because i am more persuasive or smooth or funny#(tho i am persuasive and funny lol) but bc i have questioned which social functions are more restriction than utility.#and instead i have focused my energy on actively learning how to make people feel safe. i feel social rules would benefit all people by#being a little more autistic tyvm. i don't think every person should dedicate themselves to being better at communicating#i think people should dedicate themselves to being kind and patient to everyone regardless of their ability to communicate#I think our society wrongly links communication ability to intelligence and intelligence to level of humanity.#when in fact all three of those things are fucking unrelated and connecting them inevitably leads to#really fucked up views on disabled people that hurt us. and then with that aspect of the book firmly understood and established I would#go on to recommend some ways to make socializing easier and more fulfilling (and less shameful and terrifying) for all kinds of people#it wouldn't be a book about Leaning In To Succeed in Business or 'here's how to avoid being the awkward loner at a party'#it'd be a book about how if you see someone alone at a party here's how to invite them to join your group without pressuring them#stuff like 'hot tip! if someone takes a while to type or speak a full sentence - talking over them b4 they can finish makes u an asshole!'#I know that a lot of people cannot or don't want to dump a lot of skill points into socializing like i did and they shouldn't have to in#order to experience basic dignity and respect. if we treat people like that then we just validate that people - especially#autistic children and elders and disabled people of manu varieties - have to suffer unless they learn all these arbitrary bullshit rules#and a lot of them are arbitrary bullshit! one of the reasons I throw people off so much is because I harmlessly break a lot of social rules#but I know I'm doing it and I'm not ashamed and people just don't know what to do with that! but a lot of them like it actually!!#i think it's a relief to be around someone so openly and unrelentingly weird bc what am I gonna do? judge you for being weird??#I only care if you're kind. not necessarily 'nice' or passive. Kind. Brave enough to care about people being treated well. Kind.#also I recognize that at least some of my ability to be openly weird is white privilege so that's important to acknowledge too
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arolesbianism · 1 month
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Time for more eternal gales isat au, this time featuring Sier as Isabeau, creating a sprite I can never use next to Aris’ because despite my best efforts it would make them look tall
#keese draws#eternal gales#oc#oc art#isat#in stars and time#this one didn’t take nearly as long as the aris one but I think I suffered for it more from the clothes alone#siffrin made me forget I suck at drawing clothes rip#this was also harder because of how much trickier it was to try and adapt siers design to feel fitting enough for my standards#they have a very stylized design compared to most of the others#I kind of took the lazy route out by keeping most of their original shapes in tact but it’s fine#sier in this au would serve the needed role of emotionally intelligent bestie who is also too scared to cross boundaries to do much#but despite this I do think they’d actually get the suspicion quest in this au#mostly because mase is a furry artist not a nerd and sier would be more likely to look at aris and go bro. are you in a fucking timeloop.#it also differs in that aris doesn’t yell at sier abt it instead looping before they can finish because she can’t handle hearing them be#right on the money about this thing that she thought she was handling perfectly#she doesn’t want to fail them she doesn’t want them to realize she’s failed them she doesn’t want to be a burden she doesn’t want them to#‘realize’ they’re better off without her#aris is Incredibly resistant to accepting help on most serious issues because shes convinced that it’s her responsibility to deal with it#by herself and that if she can’t then she’s a failure and worse than useless#I mean in canon eternal gales she literally loses her eye and arm because of that#in this au she just lost them how sif lost his eye but she still has. complexes abt all that.#but yeah sier also differs wildly from isa in many Many other ways as does the rest of the cast from their assigned characters#for sier they rly aren’t the jock of the group at all instead being more of the guy who keeps the mood lighthearted at all times lest they#die of stress because the others haven’t said anything in a whole 30 seconds#aka they’re the self assigned peacekeeper who doesn’t actually need to constantly keep the peace because no one’s fighting but they still#feel like they need to so they dance and dance and dance for their friends until they collapse from exhaustion#metaphorically ofc#this is why they’re both terrified to confront aris when she starts acting a bit fucked up but also why they still do sometimes anyways#they talk abt this a lil bit in their friend quest as they talk abt how they want to change but are scared to
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