#but because we can rationalise why what we're doing is Helpful and Good we just shut down any attempt to say UMMM not good....

[cheeseandbretboy]

oh guys i just discovered the word slacktivism

i just saw a comment that talked abt how a lot of leftists really dont put in the work to create change and rationalise it by saying 'well its not our fault its the government!'... which, might be true for some issues (a lot of them even) but then just. dont do anything

like leftism isnt supposed to be easy! change isnt easy! its ingrained into us to stay into a nice comfortable routine and not do anything slightly uncomfortable which is why so many people say they support a cause, maybe retweet a few things about it and rant about it but dont do anything to actually create change because they're too lazy and already feel good about themselves

and we're all at fault we all do this

sigh

so many issues come from us not changing and instead blaming other sources and feeling good about that. food waste for example! most of our waste comes from households (LITERALLY US!!!!!) but instead we say it's the giant companies fault- which, yes, they also produce a lot of waste but still less than us! water usage! electricity! land degradation! fuel and oil! literally just climate change as a whole is reliant on what we, the consumers choose to buy and do... and while yes the government is at fault we still have a choice at the end of the day. its irritating to see people complain about how little choice they have in these matters (very fair) but then not making small changes that are very doable????

we really wont get anywhere by complaining abt the government and talking about what they need to do without making changes ourselves.

there are heaps of small easy changes we can make that we don't do because we like comfort and ease. idk guys next time take the train or walk instead of driving, close and open your windows depending on the temp outside instead of turning on the air con, take a shorter shower, make a vegan meal for dinner, eat leftovers instead of making/ordering more food, take a 5 minute shower instead of having a bath, ask for something homemade/unneeded/an experience instead of new gifts for christmas, buy clothes from thrift/op shops instead of from shein, don't buy a new phone or laptop or computer if your current one works, buy a metal straw and bring it with you when you buy a drink, buy organic materials (cotton, hemp, wool) instead of plastics, head to a local protest with a friend, donate to a charity, and uhurefi theres so much more

these little changes will help us so much and its just a matter of sacrificing a tiny bit of comfort for a good cause

each small change is a vote for a better world

[chaotictarlos]

Hi I'm the Love-interest anon. First off, I'm really sorry, I realise based on your response that my phrasing of that ask meant things to you that I totally did not mean. I knew even then that you've never interpreted Carlos as just a Love Interest. And I absolutely was not meaning to call you out or criticise you or anything, though I can see now why my words would have sounded that way to you.

I want to clarify that I wasn't using the term 'love interest' as just someone who the main character sleeps with. I meant it more like, a proper fully loving partner but someone whom we as the audience know much less about, compared to TK. Not the quality of info, but the quantity. Which just unconsciously made ME treat TK as the Main Character.

When I had these thoughts a few days back about my whole love-interest-perception thing, the realisation itself made me uncomfortable because I wasn't aware I'd been thinking about these characters this way. I genuinely thought that I loved and valued both characters equally and could not figure out in the beginning why I was so uncomfortable with S4. And it wasn't a nice feeling realising that I'd had this weird unconscious bias. My knee-jerk reaction to discomfort, much like Carlos, is usually to just avoid it. And I didn't want to lose 911LS, so the way I've tried to rationalise it in my head is - I wasn't completely in the wrong or narrow-minded when I watched the show. I just fell into some of the traps that this type of storytelling can lead to, taking everything shown just as is rather than analysing the characters in equal ways. Like, in my head, screentime translated to how much I thought about the characters basically, so they all fell into typical tropes and boxes. And now I know I need to change some of those notions if I still want to enjoy the show, and step 1 is to actively look at Carlos as beyond just being a love interest.

I saw you mention Carlos-being-treated-as-a-Love-Interest and my thought process in sending in that ask to you was literally just "hey I did that too, but I'm trying to move away from it, let me tell this person why I did and how I realised since they're talking about this". So when I used terms like "this is valid" and "that's false" it was to describe my internal dialogue, and absolutely not to call you out at all.

Anyways, I realise I'm rambling again in this ask too, and since that hasn't gone well already once, I'll stop. I'm just really sorry that I made you feel overwhelmed, and maybe attacked in a way? I didn't mean to. I should have reread the word-vomit once to see how it would sound to you before I hit send.

Hey! Thank you for the clarification! I think, based on this, that we had miscommunication based on terms and our understanding of things. The way I've always viewed "love interest" is someone who is literally just there to be arm candy, etc. That's how I've seen it used in the past in fandoms and by people. Thank you for clarifying what your definition was! That puts things in a different look now!

It can be very hard at times to get what we mean across in a text format.

I think it's good to be made uncomfortable by shows that we adore. Sometimes we hold biases that we don't even know that we hold until we're made to look at them and face them.

I was overwhelmed by just the amount of information in the ask, I try to be transparent in things like that. In no means, do I not want you to send lengthy asks - I do enjoy them and responding to them! It was my way of saying why it took me awhile to reply to it.

I truly do appreciate you clarifying things! I tried hard to not come across as attacking you, and had friends read it over to see if it gave off those vibes - I hope it didn't. Feel free to ramble in my inbox or DMs at anytime!

Discussion is good! And, in my case, helps me to analyze a show and characters that I love dearly.

I hold no negative thoughts towards you and appreciate the opportunity to delve deeper. 💙

[griefpersevering]

the ripples they cause

Read on AO3 🕷 Playlist 🕷 Buy me a cup of tea ☕

Chapter Twenty: Cradle To The Grave

Notes:

We're finally easing into the comfort part of the hurt/comfort! I really wanted to put an extra thank you note in here, because this fic has been getting so much love lately, and I appreciate all of the comments and kudos you guys are sending my way. And, some brilliant person has nominated this fic for an Irondad Creator Award, which blew my mind!! Thank you all for being here, and I'm so glad you're enjoying this fic.

Sneak peek:

The Countryside is gloomier without the flash of hope they'd cradled on the way there.

There's no reason for them to stay there now they have the book, so Tony suggests they try to find the path back to the Beach. He never dreamed he would call a cave home after 2008, but at least it feels safer than this nightmare of a place.

They don't make it thirty paces past the front gate before the house collapses behind them. They stand there and watch the rubble until it stops moving. Maybe the mansion's only purpose is to protect that book, and now they've relieved it of its duty, it can finally die.

Tony doesn't fucking know. Trying to rationalise anything in this place gives him a headache.

The fog surrounds them quickly, thicker than before. He can barely see a foot in front of his face, but Nat keeps hold of his good hand so they don't lose each other. It slows them down, but with his health declining rapidly, he doesn't mind the slower pace.

Now they know there's no way out, what's the point in pretending to be cheery? He brought this punishment upon himself, but that doesn't mean it's fair. After everything they've sacrificed, after all they've done to protect people, why does the universe deny them one last chance at happiness?

If Nat is thinking the same thing, she doesn't say it out loud.

As if his existential crisis isn't enough to deal with, the scenery decides to be much more unnerving on their journey back. They don't stop to watch a fog-shrouded figure play the piano in an otherwise empty field, even when the keys set on fire. They don't pause to look at the rotting cottages floating hundreds of feet above their heads, or to acknowledge the distant group of people watching them with glowing eyes.

After a minute or an hour or a day, the grass underneath Tony's shoes turns to concrete, and he breathes a sigh of relief.

"Nearly there," Nat says.

Tony doesn't ask her what they're planning to do once they reach their destination. As far as they know, the cave they're walking towards will have crumbled like the mansion, and they'll be left to deal with the harsh wind and frequent storms without shelter.

He stops walking. The despair crushes his lungs, snaking up his throat and threatening to choke him. What's the point in any of this, if he can't help Peter?

Nat squeezes his hand. "We can figure this out, Tony."

"How? By holding a seance with Clint? Because I know for a fact that he wouldn't—"

"Obviously not," she snaps. "I don't know how. But we won't fix it by standing here and complaining about it."

Sometimes he regrets being such an asshole.

"Sorry," he mutters, and they set off again. "I just hate how we got our hopes up and then..."

"We'll figure it out," she repeats, nodding firmly. "We always do."

Last time they tried to solve a problem, the solution required both of them dying. Tony doesn't like his chances.

He glances around the City's architecture, trying to distract himself from the spiralling panic he feels from the lack of control he has over this situation. More of the graffiti is readable this time around, and the lamp posts and billboards all scream messages out into the perpetual night.

THERE ARE THINGS I WANTED TO SAY AND NEVER DID, says a neon sign.

WE'RE JUST KIDS. WE WEREN'T MEANT TO BE HEROES, the road markings state.

WHO ARE YOU, WHEN NO ONE IS WATCHING? asks a boarded-up shop window.

The messages become more unsettling as they continue walking. Who are they intended for? Nat's eyes skim over them, focusing on the road ahead rather than the cryptic notes, but they draw Tony in. Every time he averts his gaze from one, he finds another waiting for him.

Maybe they're meant for him. Fuck, maybe someone is holding a seance.

One sentence appears more frequently than the others. Scrawled on every inch of brick and concrete and metal, the handwriting becomes messier every time Tony reads it.

I CAN'T REMEMBER.

I CAN'T REMEMBER.

I CAN'T REMEMBER.

"Do you see that?" Tony asks Nat, but before she can answer, he steps onto sand.

"I told you we'd make it," Nat says, nudging his shoulder.

Tony doesn't turn to acknowledge her. He doesn't even register the touch. All he can focus on is the kid standing on the Beach in front of them.

To Nat, he probably looks like another lost soul. He has his back turned to them, but Tony could recognise Peter anywhere.

He's taller than Tony remembers.

Continue reading on AO3!

[bonesandthebees]

The thing with how much tension and anger there is between the brothers right now is that sometimes you say or do things when you're that upset. We're already dealing with Tommy calling Wilbur a bastard and Wilbur acting formally out of spite. All they need now is to have another disastrous argument while alone and one of them to get so wrapped up in it that they try to use their Voice.

It doesn't even have to be a successful attempt, the other one just has to recognise what his brother did. I'm sure he'll react along the lines of "What the hell do you think you're doing?!" Regardless of whether he was the one to use it, Wilbur's thoughts will undoubtedly spiral a bit because nobody can know about this. They've been keeping this a secret for a reason, to help keep them safe by not appearing like a threat. He even lied to Technoblade directly about what the book passage said. Nobody can know they can use their Voices.

Jack will only hear muffled yelling but all it takes is for him to realise why some of those words felt different. He might be Wilbur's friend but he is still an employee of the palace. If Phil or Techno ever learned he knew but didn't disclose that information, he'll get in huge trouble.

As for Phil finding out Wilbur has been lying about not being able to use his Voice, things are bound to change between them. Phil's been softening around him and Wilbur has been gradually learning to trust Phil a little more each chapter, even if part of him doesn't register it consciously. But while I feel Phil would rationalise the reason why the princes have been keeping such a significant secret from them if he gave himself a chance to think about it, the level of trust between him and Wilbur has been shaken a bit. He knows how to navigate conversations with Wilbur so he'll ask for more details from him while making sure to make it clear he's not mad or going to enforce consequences, he just wants to better understand the situation going forward. The last thing he wants is for Wilbur to revert into his shell and repair the walls that Phil had been taking apart by the brick over the last few months.

ooooo that's a really interesting theory for how the Voice will be used!! as always can't say if it's right or anything, but definitely has some good thoughts there! also, that's interesting that you think wilbur's Voice will shake the trust between him and phil. that's very possible, yeah, but we'll have to wait and see now won't we :)

[couldyouspeakmyname]

*slides into your ask box*

Who do you think is the most likely to be a yandere?

Juno. I honestly can't think of any other characters haha

.

.

Pick a character, they’re now a yandere. What do they do that gives it away?

For shits and giggles, I pick Legoshi.

I think it’d be fun to see how he rationalises the psychotic behabiour that comes with being a yandere.

A lot of Beastars focuses on Legoshi restraining himself, whether this is physically (not eating meat) or socially (going out of his way to not appear frightening to other animals).

As I said . . . I think it'd be interesting.

.

.

You have to fight said yandere. why did you get in an altercation, and who wins?

I’m not saying that I’m a weakling but . . . 🤷🏾‍♀️

Moving on, might have been due to me coming in between the yandere and their target.

.

.

Who would you want as a teacher?

Honestly, Gon seems like a fun guy :)

.

.

Who would you want to study with?

Legom seems like a dedicated student, but I could see her getting really anal about study groups.

If not her, then I’d choose Jack.

.

.

Someone forgot a pencil. YOU have one spare pencil, but it’s that stupid giant pencil thats meant to be a gag gift. Who do you make suffer with the giant pencil and why?

Airdo will accept the giant pencil, and he will like it.

No other reason other than I find the imagery amusing!

If he didn't want the giant pencil, he should've brought his own haha

.

.

Water balloon fight! Pick a team of three, and pick your victims.

I’m picking Bill, Aoba and Chief Lion!

Bill’s strong, and his stripes would help him hide better. . . probably.

Aoba because we could do aerial attacks!

Chief Lion . . . well, we can use him as a meat shield. :D

All he’s good for, anyways.

As for the victims . . .

We're assaulting Gon (just to distract him from his work!!), Azuki, and the rest of the Shishigumi (for shits and giggles).

1) I AM NOT SURPRISED JUNO WOULD BE MY NUMBER ONE THOUGHT TOO!

2) Legoshi would be dangerous. He's so low key and tries so hard, that I think most people who write him off.

3) Nah fam, I feel ya. Go for his ankles.

4) Gon would be an amazing teacher!!

5) I love Legom yet I always forget she exists whoops. She's actually really studious?? Yes, good.

6) Imagine, for a lion, it has to be HUGE. You reach in your bag, look him dead in the eyes, and pull out the pencil that just keeps going. You have to use both hands to hold it. Everyone around you is trying not to laugh because you have an exam to take. Airdo knows true suffering.

7) With chief lion, I could also imagine most of the Shishigumi would just focus on DESTROYING their old boss too.

Gon would have fun and be a good sport though.

Azuki would 110% get soaked, but just accept her fate

-Maeve.

[zoeygreensimblr]

Stay Beautiful (episode 15)

"Can I just have a tiny clue about the surprise" I beg Angus, Wednesday night after the gym, sitting in his office of blandness.

"How are your Essay's coming, there will be no surprise if you haven't finished them" He asks me, I swear he's worse than Don and Mr Landgaarb put together

"I've finished my Simlish one" I explain, hoping that will win him over and he will give me a clue

"And History? Zoey, we had a deal remember?"  He reminds me

"I'll start it Sunday, it will be done by this time next week." I promise him

"And you have to leave time to do a practice test or two, I want you to be well prepared when you take your final exams" He harps on

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, practice tests, got it. Clue please?" I think I'd sell my soul at this point just to know what the surprise is.

"I'll give you two clues" He tells me and I get so excited I jump up from my seat and run up to him for a hug, "Wow, I haven't even told you the clues yet and you're all over me."

"Are you complaining?" I ask him joking

"Never" He says, kissing the top of my head, "Ok, clue 1, You will need swim wear because the climate is warm there will be a spa", I smile at him, I wore him down

"Is that one clue or three?" I ask, still confused about where we could be going

"That was one clue but I threw in some detail to tease you" He laughs, "Now clue two, we will be flying there".

"Ive never flown anywhere before" I tell him, getting more excited

"You're too cute baby" He laughs, "What do you want to do tonight anyway?" He asks me and I just stare at him, suggestively, he just laughs and asks "What else do you want to do tonight Zoey? We could go for dinner or see a movie?"

"Don't you have to work early tomorrow?" I ask

"I have Thursdays off" He informs me, how did I not know this? Maybe it's never come up before because I'm  usually at school every Thursday.

"I'd like to go out for dinner" I tell him, "But nowhere fancy, just somewhere casual coz I only packed casual clothes" I add

"So burgers and fries is what she desires tonight?" He asks, laughing, "You're determined to make me fat" He says, shaking his head

"I'd still love you if you're fat Angus" I promise, he grabs my hand and places it under his shirt so I can feel his washboard abs

"Say goodbye Zoey" He knows me too well

"Fine, salad it is" I laugh with him.

Angus held my hand as we walked from his office to the desk at the front. Annabelle had returned to work today but still looked unwell. We stop to farewell her on our way out and I remember I had knitted her a scarf, I pull it out of my bag and drape it around her neck.

"Oh Zoey, it's beautiful, thank you" She says, giving me a hug

"It's nothing Annabelle, I was thinking about you all last week and thought it would keep you warm at work" I explain, "If that's ok with the boss of course? I know it's not uniform but I didn't like the thought of Annabelle getting more sick overtime the door opens and lets those cold, windy gushes in" I probably should have cleared it with Angus first

"It's fine Zoey, It does look beautiful too. I'm more concerned about when you found the time in your schedule to knit a scarf?" He frets and I squeeze his hand

"It really didn't take that long" I assure him, "Knitting is how I destress and writing that essay stressed me out a lot"

"I'm sorry Zoey, I didn't mean to make you feel bad about it, you destress how ever you need to, I remember it being a stressful period" He pulls me in close to him, I know he means well, he just doesn't want me to fail.

"You remember year 12 Angus?" Annabelle laughs at him

"I remember fucking it up and having my arse handed to me by Landgaarb and then again by Imogen" He says seriously, "I don't want that for Zoey"

"Zoey is nothing like you were Gus" Annabelle tries to rationalise with him and I hug him tightly

"I know she's not, I just worry, you both know that" He resolves

It's interesting seeing Angus and Annabelle talk about the past that I was never part of and for me it's so hard to imagine Angus doing anything that would warrant getting expelled in his final year, the Angus I know is always in control and structured.

On the walk home, when it's just us I feel that it's the best time to ask him more about why he was expelled, I know it's a sensitive subject and i'm hoping he trusts me enough to open up.

"How close where you to completing before Mr Landgaarb kicked you out" I ask in a small voice. He stops walking and turns to looks at me, it's dark but I can still see his facial features in the streetlights, like he's tormented by the memories.

"It was about this time, we had just started term 3, I had spent all my holidays working on 3 assignments I had and Steph was so pissed off because I hadn't spent any time with her over Winter break. Steph was always angry at me about something so that was nothing new. I was in the top 2 of my year too but I wasn't a good kid, I'd get into fights and mouth off" He explains and it breaks my heart to hear that he was so close to finishing and it was taken away.

"Was it because you got into a fight?" I ask him, brushing his hair out of his eyes.

"I need a haircut, I should probably do that before we go away" He says, changing the subject and I decide to let it go.

"I love you Angus, you're perfect to me" I give him a confidence boost

"Starving is what I am baby, I'm tempted to get street food although I've heard bad things about the Pufferfish, that if it's not cooked right you can die" he grabs my hand and walks us to where the food stalls are, "You wanted casual" he reminds me.

We order hamburgers from one of the stalls and wait for our food, I snuggle into Angus to keep warm.

"I'm not going to tell you why I was kicked out, you have this image of who you think I am and I don't want to destroy that image. I love you Zoey but I want you to understand that this is the one thing I will never tell you. I'm not proud of what happened and if I could change it I would." He has that pained look on his face again.

"I understand, I won't ask again, it's in the past" I reassure him

We eat our burgers in front of the fire, the crackling flames create the perfect romantic aura.

"Did you like the burger?" Angus enquires

"It was so juicy, I loved it, have you had street food from there before?" I ask, knowing if he did it wouldn't be often given his aversion to carbs.

"Never, you're just a bad influence Amelia, making me fall off the wagon" He laughs

"I have a way for you to work it off" I suggest

"Where?" He asks

"Where what?" I reply, confused

"Where do you suggest we work it off, keeping in mind you can't pick any location we've done it in before, those are the new rules" He challenges me, "That rules out here in the lounge room, my bedroom and the laundry, oh and Immie's room coz thats just a world of creepy"

"We didn't really have...sex, in the laundry though" I remind him.

"You came on the washing machine Zoey, I'm counting it" He gives me that cheeky smile. Think Zoey, you can be creative

"The kitchen?" I decide, based on nothing more than that it's close to the lounge room where we are sitting and anywhere downstairs will be too cold.

"I want you to go into the kitchen, take your clothes off and bend over the island bench and wait for me" He orders me and I obey

I don't hear him walk up behind me but I feel him run his hand up my inner thigh and slip his fingers inside me

"Thats my good girl, always so wet" He praises me, moving his fingers to my clit and my breathing starts to quicken, "Are you ready baby"

"Where are you putting it" I ask, suddenly aware we never discussed trying anal and I'm not ready to be that experimental

"Same place I always go" He assures me and i feel him slide in, he settles in and starts penetrating, I instinctively push back so he can go in deeper, he spanks me hard enough to send the electric volts through my body and I can't help but let out a loud "fuck" which just spurs him on, his hand leaves my ass and slowly makes it way to my left breast, he cups it and squeezes my nipple, it's enough to send me over the edge, I collapse on the bench and feel Angus have his own climax seconds after mine.

"Sorry baby, that was over before it started but the bench was great choice" I feel him-up out of me and I still can't move, that was absolutely satisfying  and I'm spent. I slowly peel myself off the bench. I have no idea where Angus has disappeared to until I hear the bath water running, I make my way downstairs, naked and cold and find him in the bathroom, he wraps a fluffy dressing gown around me and I wait for the bath to fill up so I can put the spa on.

"Fuck that was good Zoey" He says, kissing me deeply on the lips.

"I think that was my favourite so far" I inform him and he laughs

"Theres plenty more to come, maybe even tonight" He tells me, "Just for future reference though, I would always tell you before I go up your arse, no surprise attacks I promise."

He climbs in to the bath and holds out his hand for me to follow him in, we find a corner and stretch-out, me between his legs.

"Have you done that before? Anal?" I ask curiously

"Yes and I wouldn't force it on you. I wouldn't do anything to hurt you Zoey" He nuzzles into my neck

"I don't think it's for me" I tell him

"I'm perfectly ok with that Princess, I'm satisfied with what we are doing now" He reassures me, "Can I make one suggestion though?" He asks and my heart start racing, I'm not doing this right, I should be putting in more effort

"What is it?" I ask, expecting the worst

"I want you to go on the pill, we can use it as a back up method if you want to but I would feel a little bit of relief knowing we're not going to have any accidents." He suggests

"I think thats a good idea, Tess is on the pill, she goes to our doctor in Brindleton Bay but I can't ask her to come with me, she will ask too many questions" I tell him

"Zoey I will go with you" He offers, "Otherwise if you go alone you will antibiotics for the flu all because you can't say the word sex" He jokes and I splash him, he knows me all too well.

"Can we go tomorrow?" I ask

"We can go tonight if you want? There's a late night clinic just up the road, it's designed for people who need to see a doctor but not for anything serious outside of business hours and the doctors there are good too." He explains

"Is that where you go?"I ask him

"Yeah, when I need to, I do get sick sometimes." He tells me, "Do you want to go tonight or wait until tomorrow" He asks me

"Go tonight" I reply, "The doctor isn't going to poke me with anything right?" Ive seen way too many episodes of Grey's Anatomy at this point where people go in for simple health issues and the Doctors end up putting a tube down their throat or sticking a giant needle in them. Angus starts laughing at my completely rational fear.

"They're not going to poke you with anything" he says trying to keep a straight face, "I am, but they won't" He gives me that cheeky smile

The clinic is a small space placed between two giant retail stores. Theres 1 other person waiting when we arrive, we check in at the desk and the receptionist hands me a form to fill out, questions about previous medical history. Our wait is short and a female doctor calls my name and ushers me into a smaller office than the one Angus occupies at the gym but unlike his, this room is way more decorated.

"Hi Zoey, my name is Doctor Evans" She introduces herself, "what can I help you with tonight?"

My nerves kick in, I know what I'm here for but I can't say it, she's going to judge me and give me a lecture about how I should never of lost my virginity, Angus can see I'm struggling and takes me hand

"It's alright Zoey, you're in a safe place here, Dr Evans isn't going to make you feel bad" He comforts me, "Zoey is a highly anxious person, she finds it hard to talk about certain subjects, that's why I came in with her tonight" Angus explains to the doctor and I can see Dr Evans starting to understand what's going on

"Is this your boyfriend Zoey?" she asks me and I nod yes, "And are you sexually active?" she continues

"Yes" I say shyly, preparing myself for the lecture

"Zoey there's nothing to feel ashamed of, a lot girls become sexually active around your age and it's natural. My only concern is that your protected and safe."She reassures me, "Have you been tested?" She enquires and I look at Angus, he promised no needles tonight

"Zoey was a virgin before we started having sex, we use condoms every time too" Angus answers for me, Dr Evans turns her attention from me to Angus

"And when were you last tested for STIs?" she questions him

"After my last sexual encounter, I'm clean" He replies and I sit there thinking that these should have been questions I asked him before jumping into anything, I didn't even consider it. Dr Evans turns her attention back to me.

"Zoey would you like me to prescribe the pill for you?" She asks me in her concerned doctor voice.

"Yes please" I reply, my own voice is soft and shy

"I can do that tonight, I'm going to also prescribe a low dose of anti anxiety medication too" She tells me, "The pill must be taken at or around the same time every day for it to be effective and it can take up to 7 days for it to become effective so please keep using your back up form of contraception. Also I must warn you that antibiotics can make the pill ineffective so be aware of that if you are prescribed antibiotics at any stage" She says as she types and prints out two prescriptions, "Also Zoey, don't ever feel ashamed to talk to a medical professional about being sexually active, we are here to help you, never judge you" She smiles warmly at me

"Thank you Dr Evans" I say. We leave the clinic and find a late night chemist near by, I put my prescriptions in with the pharmacist and we sit and wait, Angus takes my hand and gives it a little squeeze.

"Proud of you Princess" He says

"I really didn't do anything, you did all of the talking, my nerves just took over" I'm ashamed that I couldn't speak up

"Zoey it's all good, I know you have anxiety and thats why I went with you tonight and maybe the medication for anxiety will help keep the nerves away." He comforts me

"I should have ask you that question before we did anything" my mind is going into overthinking mode

"I would of told you if you had anything to worry about, I knew I was clean and yeah, maybe we should of had that conversation, that falls on me more than you not asking, I didn't think about it honestly because I knew you were clean" He reassures me, "You're safe with me Zo, always", I feel it too.

We walk back to the apartment, past the food stalls that are packing up for the night.

"Do you want a cupcake Princess?" He asks me

"You ask me like you don't already know the answer will always be yes" I laugh

He orders 2 red velvet cupcakes and we eat them in front of the fire.

"I feel bad for Joanna" I randomly blurt out

"Why, she earns $165 a day here, I think she's not doing too bad" He laughs

"Yeah but what do you think she thinks now that she has to empty your trash bin after we've, you know?" It's only just dawned on me now that, apart from Dr Evans, Joanna would be the only other person to know Angus and I are sleeping together and I've never even met her.

"Zoey I don't give a shit what she thinks, I'm an adult" He tells me, "You worry too much about what other people think" He states the obvious. I see his point though, it's no ones business what we are doing and it's not shameful either

"I'm going to tell Tess next time I see her" I announce

"Only if you're sure? I can be there with you if you want me to be?" He's asks knowing I may need support

"Thank you, I appreciate it but I think it's best I do this alone, Tess has been my whole world for so long and now she shares it with you, I love you both but I don't want to make her feel like it's now you and me and she's been pushed out. I need sister time." I explain and then a panic sets in, I don't want Angus to feel I''m pushing him out either, "Is that OK?" I ask

"Of course thats OK Zo, you never have to feel like you're choosing Tess over me, she's your sister and your best friend" He says, kissing my head