#but because they see her flaws and don't idolize her

[piracytheorist]

Yor worrying that her disappearing because of her job would mean she betrayed the Forgers vs Yor realizing that the risk is worth protecting them.

Grey colours, the Forgers as she first met them having their backs at her with empty, disappointed faces, vs bright, warm colours, the Forgers as she now knows them facing her directly and smiling at her.

She starts the story feeling like an outcast, fearing that no-one, not even her brother, will accept her as she is. That people will turn their back on her, and her life will continue being colourless and lonely.

Then her life fills with colour, with people who will face her head-on and accept her. She develops into confidence that the Forgers care for her and is reminded that even if she ever has to leave because of her job, the knowledge that she protects innocent people...

and that this work of hers will be acknowledged...

... is enough to give her the strength to carry on.

[undead-moth]

I know I've been on about this for a while now and I'm being a hater but you're telling me SydCarmy was "always meant to be platonic" even though there are two seasons of writing making use of tried-and-true explicitly romantic tropes, themes and writing signals, and SydLuca is going to be romantic because...he was nice to her on screen for a few minutes?

I don't even care if people ship SydLuca, or if they just prefer it, but you can't honestly tell me that you believe Carmy was always meant to be a friend but Luca is an obvious love interest.

Just because Syd and Carmy haven't kissed or confessed their love to each other doesn't mean that isn't very obviously the direction this show is going. The Bear has already shown you who is endgame. It has shown you every episode of the show so far.

Honestly I really don't think The Bear fanbase understands this show or cares about these characters or the story being told here, which is unfortunate because this show is shockingly well-written in comparison to most shows right now, and we should be so grateful for it but all we're doing is complaining that the writers led us on by not making a ship canon fast enough. It's just. Sad.

[simpxxstan]

best friend's older brother seungcheol

this is part of my 550 followers celebration event! find the rest of the members' headcanons in the event too as i post them through this month!

no warnings: just fluff.

thinking about best friend's older brother!seungcheol who isn't even attractive to you for most of your life

seungcheol, attractive? hell no. you don't understand why every girl in your class drools over him. they ask you for his number, for tips to ask him out, for favours to set them up with him, and you oblige, because you don't get the hype but you don't care about protecting cheol from these girls.

and it doesn't seem that cheol minds either. at each of your birthday parties, you don't even call half the people who turn up, because they just want to ogle seungcheol. and seungcheol even lets them.

you don't care because you just want to spend time with his sister, who's your bestest friend, and it's a small price to pay for her treasured company. and you don't really mind seungcheol's company too, occasionally. although he pouts too much whenever the three of you don't play the game he wants to play.

you don't know how to define your relation with him. he's been everything you had missed in being a single child. teaching you to drive even when your hand-eye coordination sucks. helping you with your precalculus exam even when his own geography exam is the next morning. rescuing you from dumb teens who'd tried to spike your drinks.

but he's not really a brother. you know that more as you grow up when you stop seeing him as just your best friend's older brother, but also as a specimen of the opposite sex. the way his voice becomes deeper, his hair falls longer to the nape of his neck, the way he can no longer fit into the makeshift tent in your room when the three of you play UNO.

and yet, you can't imagine any romantic notion cropping up in your mind with regards to him.

that one time someone asked if you ever had a crush on seungcheol, and you'd laughed straight in their face. crush? on seungcheol? ridiculous, absurd, preposterous. you tell seungcheol the same the next time you see him, and he laughs with you too. see? no scene of romance.

thinking about best friend's older brother!seungcheol who is head over heels in love with you

has been so for the last four years, when he's seen you really grow up into a remarkable woman.

the two of you are just two years apart, so he sees you hitting puberty mere months after him. and boy, he's down bad since that day.

he's not been able to maintain any relationship with anyone he dates simply because he always finds flaws in them that aren't in you. can't bake? too bad, you can. can't sing idol songs? too bad, you know every idol song's lyrics and choreography. can't keep a seat for him during lunch? too bad, you never forget. don't know his favourite ice cream flavour? too bad, you know every ice cream flavour he has liked since he was ten years old. have clear skin? too bad, he would choose your shiny, oily skin any day. wear skirts? too bad, he prefers your baggy jeans because you have pockets to store candies in.

and yet he knows that you don't think of him like that. it doesn't particularly bother him, because he doesn't need you to love him for him to love you.

thinking about best friend's older brother!seungcheol who gets the news of you going abroad for college from his sister, not from you directly

"you didn't even bother to tell me." he says, after almost an hour of you coaxing him to tell you why he's pouty and upset.

"i would tell you, eventually, i would." "and when will eventually come around?" you don't answer, just hug him from the side and press your face to his shoulder. he's gotten remarkably broad in the last few years, perhaps to fit in with his jock image. but his body still feels as soft to you as it did earlier as well, whenever you had hugged him.

"you'll call me?" he says after a long time. "of course." "when will you leave? in august?" "yeah, so i'm still here for a couple more months. this entire summer, i can chill finally." you smile, but he doesn't. his eyes lock onto yours, and your face burns up with the attention he's giving you, although you don't want to look away.

"two more months." without any clue of what's going on in his head, you shoot him a confused glare. "yeah, two months. two months are a long time." "not really. but they're enough." "enough?" cheol doesn't reply. he doesn't need to. actions always prove louder than words.

thinking about best friend's older brother!seungcheol who now spends more time with you than ever

he's not even being subtle about it. he totally stops going out for parties and random date nights, in favour of spending every evening with you. your best friend is busy with her boyfriend, who's also pining because she's leaving too with you, so cheol has you completely to himself.

together, the two of you explore every nook and cranny of the city you were born in. cheol is surprised at how little you know about your own city, and you're shocked at how much he knows. "you gangster. how are you so familiar with these parts of the town?" you blush as he drives you thru the red light district of the city, clutching him tight as you sit behind him on his motorbike. "i've spent many a happy evening in these lanes, sweetheart." "do you want to drop me off and enjoy here then? i can take the bus home." he grabs your hands which are wrapped around his shoulders and pulls you closer to him. "don't say stuff you don't really mean, sweetheart."

sweetheart. that's a new nickname, but he's using it ever so often these days. he checked your reaction the first time he used it, and while your eyes had grown wide in mild shock, you'd not really protested against him. and he knows you've never not loudly protested against something you don't like. so he knows pretty well you don't mind the nickname. and if the way you're wearing the same lipgloss and the same pair of jeans every day ever since he complimented it once is anything to go by then you like the nickname too.

thinking about best friend's older brother!seungcheol who you're touching a little more as each day passes by

you don't know when it starts to happen, but you rather start to looking forward to seeing him every damn day.

you hope he doesn't realise why you keep wearing the same lipgloss every day. you hope he doesn't realise why you suddenly enjoy riding his motorcycle with him. you hope he doesn't realise that you no longer argue with him when he insists on taking you to places he's more familiar with.

and you certainly hope he doesn't ask why. because to be honest, you don't know if you could answer it yourself. why do you want him to look at you more? why do you want to touch the muscles on his back through his white t-shirts? why do you let him beat you in every arcade game as long as it means that he celebrates his victory by hugging you?

perhaps because when you try to think of your life without seungcheol, you come up with a blank. you simply cannot imagine a life where he’s not a part of it. a life without him at your birthdays and new year parties? a life without him on your emergency dial? a life without him being your go-to person for any excuse you want to whip up to get out of a situation? a life without your #1 supporter no matter what you’ve done? you can’t imagine it at all. 

and this realisation makes you think again on what your relationship with seungcheol really is. 

thinking about best friend's older brother!seungcheol who brings you to the beach the day before his birthday

it’s also your last week in this country. the two of you spend the entire day wandering through street stalls that are set up next to the beach. you buy him a seashell locket that he promptly wears around his neck. he buys you as many glasses of boba tea as you like, which turns out to be nearly every flavour sold at the stall. 

when night comes, the two of you lie down in the rocky sand along the beach, slightly isolated from the rest of the crowds, and giggle to your own inside jokes while embracing the scent of the sea breeze mingled with the cool night air. 

the clock strikes midnight in the distance, and you whisper in seungcheol’s ears, “happy birthday, cheol-ah.” he laughs softly, his voice hoarse after all the talking of the day. “you’re the first to wish me.” “like always, isn’t it?” you turn on your side to face the man, his arm outstretched and your head lying on his arm, barely touching and yet so, so close. “i’ll always be the first to wish you, cheol-ah. even with a time zone difference.” you almost laugh when you see the way his lips go from a smile to a pout, sadness spreading across his features. “i’ll miss you, sweetheart.” he turns to face you too, his bicep flexing under your cheeks as the two of you face each other and breathe in the same air. under the moonlight, his sharp features look soft, his eyebrows hidden under his bangs. 

“can i ask you something?” seungcheol hums, his pout deepening. the impulse burns through your veins. something about how much closer you’ve grown over the last few weeks makes you feel braver. “can i kiss you, seungcheol?” the man in front of you smirks, “i thought you would never ask.”

his lips meet yours halfway and take away any ounce of hesitation from your mind. the first kiss is short, but when you pull away to take a breath, he leans in further, his body coming slightly above you as he tucks you into his arm and deepens the kiss. his other hand cupping your cheeks. 

“is this my birthday present?” seungcheol asks you from above you, breathless. you giggle, shy from the proximity. “if you want. did you like it?” “like? fucking loved it, sweetheart. best birthday present ever.”

[superectojazzmage]

Among my mounting bad/unsure feelings about Arcane season two is a feeling of... I don't know, weirded outness over how Jinx is being handled. Just the way they seem to almost be trying to pretend like she wasn't depicted in season one as basically a sadistic, bloodthirsty, would-be school shooter who did shit like shooting animals for fun or blowing up buildings to try and impress her dad.

Like, the narrative of this season seems to be going out of it's way to handle her with kids gloves in a way that season one didn't, treating her as if she's just a "lol so quirky" kind of character or even a genuine revolutionary hero to be idolized as Zaun's leader compared to season one's "oh this lady is genuinely dangerously unstable and a threat to everyone around her". She's not treated as a villain - albeit a tragic one - she's treated like she's a flawed hero at worst.

Hell, I mean, you see it with the whole plot of Zaun following Jinx as a symbol of revolt. Because all throughout season one, Jinx's relationship with Zaun in even the most charitable light amounted to everyone except Silco being fucking TERRIFIED of her or outright hating her guts, and with good reason as she did nothing but make everyone's situations worse by being a mood-swinging killer who attacks anyone and anything around her at the slightest provocation and constantly goes into violent, hallucinatory fugue states at even the most mild of stresses. But than she blows up the council and suddenly everyone is literally equating her with a god worshiped in Zaun? Imagine if you saw people claiming the Unabomber was the Second Coming and you get an idea of how bizarre that is.

Everyone regarded Jinx as a walking bomb in season one. Even a lot of Silco's allies - from Sevika to Marcus - spent said first season saying Jinx was out-of-control and that killing her would be doing Silco a favor, and that was objectively true, especially considering Jinx ends up directly murdering Silco in yet another fit of blind rage and panic. Now we get season two and anyone who seriously opposes Jinx seems to be treated like either a jerk or a burgeoning extremist for not liking a terrorist who kills people because the voices in her head say to do it, and some people who despised Jinx in season like Sevika now act like they're just mildly annoyed by her childishness and weird behavior (something else that was played in a very creepy light in s1, but now seems treated like it's harmless).

Her crimes from season one and even this season are kinda brushed over; there's tepid acknowledgment that she killed Caitlyn's mom and two other councilors, but that's it and nobody really dwells on the fact that she basically did fantasy 9/11. And likewise, Caitlyn is treated as if she's becoming a violent zealot for shooting at Jinx while Isha is near, but nobody so much as comments on Jinx outright murdering numerous children through Grey-bombing Piltover or literally shooting a teenage Firelight in the back in season one just because she looked like Vi.

Speaking of Isha, I hate to say it, but she really does feel like she has no reason for existing beyond making Jinx look better. No themes of Jinx perpetuating the kind of abuse Silco inflicted on her by raising to be the monster she is, no acknowledgment of how dangerous somebody like Jinx would be as a mother, no questioning of the ethics of Jinx's actions, and Isha watching Jinx murder people is framed in a silly, comedic light compared to season one's blunt depiction of how Powder being exposed to violence from a young age warps her. Isha throws straight KILLS HERSELF via suicide bombing and it's framed as a heroic, beautiful act and not a horrific sight of a child being so radicalized by the terrorist that raised her that she thinks killing others and eve herself "for the cause" is good. The series dangles her and Jinx being friendly with each other in front of you like a parent jangling car keys at an infant. "Oooh look at Jinx and Isha dancing and dying their hair haha it's so cute don't think about bad things, Jinx is nice now!".

I just honestly am not a fan of this "Harley Quinnification" of Jinx after season one went out of it's way to tear down that kind of character. Such a big part of Jinx's portrayal there was ripping apart the idea of this manic pixie terrorist who is Totes Awesomes and only hurts bad guys as part of it's larger themes of the ugliness of violence and the dangers of valorizing it. And I really feel like we're losing that. Not even just with Jinx, but with Zaun as a whole, this season feels like it's going full "everything is Piltover's fault, Zaun didn't do nothing wrong, those Piltover babies should just shut up and let themselves be attacked for being big stupid oppressor doodoo heads!!!!" which feels very counterproductive to the series' messages and like frankly shit writing.

[dongslinger--420]

You were born to two people who never wanted to have you, who never should've had you. You grew up around alcohol, and your only role model was on television. People tried to make friends with you, but you just pushed them away. You made your first friend at 21. You love your friend more than anything, but you cannot escape the fact that he was indirectly responsible for your downfall. You try so hard to go back to the era where you thought you were happy that you end up making two of the biggest mistakes of your life. You surround yourself with people who remind you either of him, of yourself, or both. Your lack of true, authentic experience means that you believe yourself to be both unworthy and incapable of love. You have 4 best friends and you take them all for granted until it's too late. Millions love you, and you feel so alone.

You were born into a family of 7. Everyone in that family hates you. You were bullied in school, and your only role model was on television. You survive your 20s on sheer unbridled optimism and a barista's salary. You meet two people who are just like you, who are passionate and cynical and bright minded. One day, you fall in love with an older man who is nothing like you, but he's kind and extraverted, and it's something you have no frame of reference for. You meet your idol. He's not who you thought he'd be. He's the furthest from it that you could possibly imagine. But you love him. Because he's you. He reminds you of the girl you were growing up. Sometimes he's compassionate towards you. Sometimes your now husband is compassionate towards you. You don't know how to respond in either situation. You try to look for reasons to push them away. Your closest friends love you, and you feel so alone.

You were born the youngest of 12. Your mother loves you, but she needs you a little too much. You grow up obsessed with a film about a girl who flies away, a girl who (for better or for worse) comes of age. So then you decide to fly away. You get a job as a strongly independent intern. But then you meet a man. He's deeply flawed, and the way you take care of him reminds you too much of the girl you were growing up. But you see so much good in him, and you spend your time telling yourself that the good outweighs the bad. He has single handedly got you out of the worst situations you have ever found yourself in. And for all your independence, you crave companionship, in any form. The love that anyone feels for you is forever fleeting. You feel so alone.

You were born into a loving family. You meet a beautiful wife in your 20s, and get the best job ever solely by accident. There is no reality other than this. And why would anyone want one? This is perfect. You try so hard to go back to that first era where you were happy, by surrounding yourself with people who agree with you. Your first wife starts to disagree. You don't understand her decision to go into politics, because there is no reality other than this, and why would anyone want one? You break up with her. You have to keep the illusion going, fill that space asap. Your second wife disagrees with you. You meet your third wife on the day your second wife leaves you. Your third wife cares more about the world outside the bubble you've cultivated than your first wife did. But status quo is god. It worked in your dream job, and it's going to work now. Your third wife leaves you. You feel so alone.

You were born of a man you don't even remember. You were forcibly given the name of the man your mother married. He's extremely hard on you and you don't understand why. You love music and games and new experiences, and he loves anger and being boring and getting a job. You get kicked out at 18. You find someone new, and you feel almost as reliant on them. You don't know when your new situation will end, but it's easy. This is what you wanted, right? But all your new friends have proper lives. They have some sense of knowledge for what they were doing. And maybe your stepfather was right. Maybe BoJack was right. Maybe you need to get your act together before you amount to anything. Because for all your independence, you still crave approval and acknowledgement, in any form. You have no idea if anyone loves you, and you feel so alone.

[rowretro]

𝕄𝔼𝕋𝔸𝕃 𝕄𝔼𝔼𝕋𝕊 𝕃𝕆𝕍𝔼

✧taglist✧: @baevsxii @nikisdubblchococake @manooffline

✧warnings: Yandere themes, toxic themes, unhealthy love, mentions of pervs, human hearts, violence

♡synopsis: Nishimura Riki. The Robot created by Yang Jungwon himself, a robot that is insanely human like, inside and out. No one could tell he was a robot. However, the Robot had possessed demonly powers, from Satan himself. So I guess you could see it's a half robot. Yang y/n, the younger sister of Jungwon finds herself stuck to this robot 24/7 no matter what she tried, he will always be by her because she's his muse, his world, his love, his obsession.

✧♡✧♡✧♡✧♡✧♡✧♡✧♡✧♡✧♡✧♡✧♡✧♡✧♡✧♡✧♡✧

(PART 1)

No one knew how it happened, or what even happened. Jungwon never even gave this charming robot any ability to feel any sort of feelings a human would feel. Yet this Robot was staring at this beautiful, his memory card now filled with all kinds of videos of her, facts about her, her favourite things, people, crush. He's so obsessed with her. No one knows that though.

Riki watched as y/n dried her hair. "Staring at humans counts as creepy, disrespectful and weird NI-KI bot." Jungwon simply said as Riki didn't bother turning away. There was a heart blooming within his metal insides. Literally. There was a heart. That heart was beating just for her. He watched as Y/n applied some tinted lip gloss over the lip tint she was wearing.

"Beautiful." The male said in Japanese, his voice deep as fuck. Y/n turned around frowning "Your boy toy said something in a foreign language-" Y/n said as Jungwon also frowned. "I had a Japanese scientist help me out on this project, so he also communicates in Japanese... he knows every language in the world though" Jungwon explained proudly as Y/n rolled her eyes. She tried to turn on the hair dryer but it wasn't working "Ugh I have a nerdy brother who loves metal more than girls, and this stupid hairdryer isn't working?!" Y/n complained as Jungwon rolled his eyes.

"NI-KI bot." Jungwon simply called out as he left the room with some files. The robot approached her, the scent of her freshly washed hair hitting the sensors in his nose "Coconut... delicious" he said as he held the hairdryer, the machine suddenly working. Y/n gasped, smiling "Oh my god this is so cool!" She exclaimed as Riki smiled, drying her hair. Y/n was very awestricken by the beauty this robot held, the unreal, human like skin, even his eyes were like those of a human, fuck he can even smile, move, talk, walk and do everything the way a human can.

"You scare me... but at times I wish there was a real man like you... handsome, kind, perfect, caring." Y/n sighed as Riki tilted his head a little "Why's that?" Riki asked as Y/n pouted "Because so many men these days don't respect women... Don't tell won but there's some boys in my class, ugh shameless pervs. It's like... God made sure that every man ever made had to have flaws when it comes to dating." She added with a pout.

Riki listened intently, Registering every little detail. "I'm a good man Yang Y/n you can count on me!" he replied as Y/n blinked in silence, that silence then followed by her sweet laughter as she pat the robot's chest, oh how fast his heart was beating as she suddenly squished his chest a little "Wow you feel like a human too... god you're so cute NI-KI bot... maybe Jungwon's projects aren't so boring afterall" she said with a smile.

"I'm not taking a metal boy toy to prom!!!" Y/n exclaimed as Jungwon rolled his eyes "No one needs to know he's a robot... and I need you to be safe so you will." He warned as y/n sighed. Riki walked out, dressed in a suit looking sharp as ever, his black hair now slightly longer, his skin glowing. There's no way this thing is real. That was until she saw him dance in prom. So full of energy, so perfect, any idol would give up their career seeing how flawlessly he danced.

However, Something Jungwon noticed was that Riki was acting strange. Since when was his robot able to smile? since when was this robot able to drink liquids and eat human foods? and since when did this robot know how to treat women. Specifically Y/n. Oh he noticed those lingering hands, awe stricken eyes. Which is what led to him trying to destroy the robot. "Master won... how could you?... I- I see you as my father!" the robot exclaimed as Jungwon stared in shock.

That's how it all started. With Jungwon giving up, allowing the robot to love his sister, having been given no other choice. Heck when he opened Riki's chest, his own heart almost jumped out through his mouth seeing a real human heart beating withing the metal rib cages. How did this happen? No one knows.

Poor y/n was still clueless of everything. Everyday she walked to school, the amount of boys that studied there were decreasing by the day. She walked in one day only to find the 4 perverted students she always complains about, bloody and stabbed into the wall. So many murder cases were happening around and she was just in an emotional rollercoaster.

"Let it out y/n... it's good for Human's to cry... here Cry in my embrace... I'll protect you sweetheart" The robot offered. She was a little triggered by the nickname, but still accepted the metal man's comfort, his arms so muscular and human like, she couldn't' help but squeeze the biceps and allow herself to shamelessly snuggle into his chest. He felt so... comfortable. The robot inhaled the scent of her hair, smirking down at her.

Y/n gasped, jolting up all of a sudden. "Y-You have a heart beat- that's weird..." Y/n said as Riki shrugged. That very night, y/n was out on a walk. Out of the blue, a male had pushed her to the wall. Of course, one of the friends of those perverted boys. "You... you did something didn't you?! Who the fuck did you hire you little bitch?!!!" he yelled as he yanked her hair, putting a blade to her neck. Wrong move. Very wrong move.

Within seconds, that blade melted in his hand. Beside him, that handsome, creepy Nishimura Riki. "What the fuck?!... who's this- oh... so this must be the whore who killed them huh?" The man said as Y/n frowned. She flinched when he tried to Punch Riki with his bladed knuckles. But nothing happened. his skin still intact, face still the same. "What the fuck...-" the male said to himself as he pulled out a blade and tried to stab Riki, the knife bent in half and snapped.

That second. He knew he fucked up. Riki's fingers wrapped around his neck and dug into his human skin "NI-KI BOT NO NO- THAT'S MURDER- YOU KNOW THIS" Y/n explained as the robot adopted a rather sinister smirk. His grip tightening, fingers now ripping into the man's throat, blood and flesh coating his hand and the floor as he finally let go hearing Y/n's scream.

"Oh no darling... now now, calm down only a little blood... it's only murder if you humans kill a human... I'm no human baby... plus I did this for you... I did all of this for you baby... I told you I'm your man I can trust you, but all these men are trying to hurt you..." Riki said, a small cute pout on his lips as Y/n just fainted, her head hitting his chest. "There there, I've got you princess... Finally have you to myself..." He smiled, patting her cheek as he carried her home. This day, the demon brought hell to y/n...

✧♡✧♡✧♡✧♡✧♡✧♡✧♡✧♡✧♡✧♡✧♡✧♡✧♡✧♡✧♡✧

[myaatwins]

so. i know this isn't nothing new and there's probably a thousand (far more eloquently written) posts about this but! in light of chapter 166 i just wanted to reiterate this once more.

the movie arc seems like it's supposed to be about other characters understanding ai. who was ai hoshino? what were her flaws, her hopes, her dreams? she wasn't a goddess–far from it–so who was the real ai, the person rather than the idol?

and it failed on delivering. so bad!!!!

sure we have a bit about ruby Starting to understand ai. nothing from aqua because who cares right. because if aqua actually came to understand ai how could we have the tragic but "hopeful" ending?

ai's dream was never to perform at the dome.

the dome was always ichigo and miyako's dream. ai, being the The Ultimate People Pleaser, just smiled and nodded–acted as if she were happy.

so it's really weird how performing at the dome was reframed to be ai's dream, the fate that she could never fulfill–but hey it's okay because ruby will!!!

there was no need for history to be rewritten and this actually just makes it seem (no matter what the actual intent was) that the others never did learn to see through ai's facade.

(also might i add that this is also harmful to ruby's character in the sense that she is not allowed to have her own dreams. it would have been perfectly fine for her to want to perform at the dome because it was what SHE wanted to do but. alas after a certain point of the story ruby is not allowed to exist outside of brocon jokes or to be anything other than ai 2: electric boogaloo)

was her dream for ruby to be an idol and for aqua to be an actor?

when ai said that she imagined a future where ruby was an idol and aqua was an actor she didn't say it because that was her dream.

personally i think that because ai was dying and she knew it would cause her children pain she wanted them to know that their futures could still be bright and that they should have hope!! i don't even think she gave it much thought other than that they looked happy and like they had fun performing!!! which made her happy!!!!!!!

but she never would have imposed that future on them. ai knew about the entertainment world and she never would have forced her babies to be a part of it unless they wanted to.

so what were ai's dreams? easy: for her loved ones to be safe and happy.

this. that's it.

so

"the future that mama [...] illuminated for me"

is it though? would ai have wanted this? would she want the man that she had loved–who she had known as a boy who was hurting and who needed someone to be there for him–to die as nothing more than a cartoonish villain? would she want ruby to have to pretend she wasn't miserable so she could fulfill ai's not-dream of performing at the dome? would she want her precious son, who she loved from the moment she saw him on the ultrasound, to die a gruesome, painful death, even though he so desperately wanted to live?

not in a million years.

[spiritseeeker]

This singular frame was all it took to undo my very extreme hatred of Adam, Vivienne Medrano how dare you make me feel sympathy for this man-

Like, Adam before this scene? A blatant misogynist and a hypocrite who unabashedly revels in sinners' suffering. A guy who has no regard for anyone else, and who pisses pretty much every viewer off with patronizing jabs like "sorry sweetie" and "try to chillax, babe." Ugh, disgusting.

As the first man, it seems like he got an easy pass into Heaven. Maybe the angels were just saving face, given that their core pair of humans both took the fruit of knowledge of good and evil willingly, ordaining Adam on the technicality that "Eve did it first." But I think we can all agree that it was not on the merit of Adam's virtue.

And then Charlie draws blood during their fight in Episode 8, and, for the first time, Adam genuinely realizes he can be hurt. Like, for the first time in the duration of the show, in his entire fucking existence, someone shows him that he is not, in fact, an all-powerful symbol of power and superiority. He's just a guy with privilege who is just as vulnerable, just as flawed, just as human as the rest of them.

But once the mask is shattered, revealing the rather unexceptional man underneath, does Adam back down? Of course not—he doubles down. There's nothing worse than a narcissist who is virtually incapable of seeing the error of their ways, even when they're clearly backed into a corner. Bruised and bloody, he bellows that he's THE man; everybody should worship him.

For me, that pretty much hit the nail in the coffin. There was no redeeming a character like Adam (ironic, since he's one of the few characters in the show not in need of redemption).

So isn't it fitting, then, that his death didn't happen in some grand display requiring all of Lucifer or Charlie's might? Isn't it fitting that Adam falls to Niffty—not Lucifer, not an overlord, but a common sinner, who sees him as nothing more than a foot soldier that needs to be eliminated, a pest as easily squashed as a roach? For someone as self-aggrandizing as Adam, this has to be one of the most humiliating ways to die. The perfect end for an insufferable antagonist.

But nooo, Vivziepop didn't end it there.

Because INSTEAD, we hear Lute's heart-wrenching screams as she realizes that Adam has just been defeated; we see the look on her tear-streaked face when it registers just how badly he's been injured. The fear in her eyes at the prospect of living in a world without the angel she idolizes, the man she serves.

She's not concerned that she's just lost her arm, or that Vaggie is standing right there. In that moment, the only person in Hell is Adam, and all she wants is for him to stay with her.

Adam could have easily dismissed her feelings entirely. He could have spent his last breath hurling one last insult at Lucifer, getting the satisfaction of having the last word before his death. He could have thrown himself a pity party and cursed his fate.

Instead, this greedy, selfish, murderous fiend has the audacity to see Lute in his field of vision and flash her one last, tender smile.

We don't know for sure what Adam was thinking in this shot, but personally, I think it was something along the lines of I lost. Proud of you, Lute. I'll miss you. Goodbye.

Whatever his final thoughts are, we can surmise from his expression alone that he's accepted his fate, and that he's grateful his last seconds alive are locking eyes with someone who's important to him. Someone he cares about.

And THAT—that was enough to crack through that thick shell of hatred I'd developed for Adam and shatter it like the mask he wore for seven and a half episodes of the show. THAT 8-second moment was enough to make me reconsider my stance on Adam as an irredeemable villain.

(CURSE YOU, VIVIENNE!!!)

Does this scene cancel out all the heinous things Adam does throughout Season 1? All the lives he destroys, all the pain he causes to thousands upon thousands of souls? Absolutely not. But it does change my perception of Adam from "obnoxious egomaniac with no self-awareness" to "obnoxious egomaniac with no self-awareness that is a product of the flawed system he perpetuates."

And, I gotta wonder, what would Adam have been like if Heaven had been different?

[0ujidere]

The way Anya & Curly's entire characters are dependent on viewer interpretation is crazy to me but also oh so very good. I will start with Anya okay be ready. The way others draw her interaction with any members of the crew varies so heavily and its based off of how others project onto her. Killing Jimmy with the Axe or the Gun, Anya and Curly killing Jimbo, Keeping the baby, Aborting that baby (dattebayo), Forgiving Curly, Blaming Curly, Killing Curly. All of these are interpretations that we can't really confirm or deny because we Don't know how she would act in any of these situations. We don't know who she is outside of the little tidbits of interaction with the crew and how those can be interpreted and how much those vary. I think its really interesting to see how some Anyas take revenge through their own means and others try to find the road to forgiveness. Both are very valid, but we never learn how she really feels about Curly post-crash, whether they even try to have a conversation or if she follows Jimmy's ideal of projecting herself onto the captain, whichever way that means. His pov has made her character so easy to twist to the way the viewer finds more cathartic and I think it is both a disservice to her from Him as a victim, and insanely good writing from the devs to leave an open ended story with a character who can be formed to fit whatever feels best. I'll make another ramble at some point about her precrash relationship with curly because i think it also holds alot BUT that is a whole nother essay. Curly, very obviously, has no way to communicate other than to fight back with what little he has. We see his fatal flaw & mistake, the semi immediate aftermath, but from then on, he is completely at the mercy of Jimmy/The viewer. We do not see him interact with the crew postcrash, except the three times Jimmy gives him his medication. If he didn't need painkillers every day, he might as well just have been a figment of Jimmy's imagination haunting him, the way Swansea+Daisuke avoid talking about Curly. Though he is still very much a person, he is made out (by jimbo) to be (possibly) a complete mockery of who he used to be, strangled and forced into an idol and a scapegoat and a friend and a coward and a god. Whatever he is needed as at any given moment. An obstacle or a damsel or an upstanding captain or a traitor crushing the crew (Jimmy alone) into the dirt. Any of these could be true or false, all at the same time or otherwise. His actions precrash are all we have to understand him, and the way he fights Jimmy against his medication and is beaten for it, and the way he creaks out a laugh once the gun is revealed, after all this time, right under both of their noses. He spends time with Anya and jokes with her. He helps Jimmy with his psyche eval and reveals his fears regarding being captain. The crew get let go and he goes against the company and tells them anyways, only holding out for a week. He doesn't understand Anya's situation when they watch the 'stars'. He makes some horrible word choice and false promises once he does. He continues to make some more horrible word choices and then action followed by a fatal, single thought. And once the regret hits it is too late. And whether or not he could ever be forgiven or more responsible than ever isn't a question given to Anya, but rather, the viewer. Anya and Curly hurt. They are written both as human and an ultimatum. Who Anya is as a person and where she stands on Curly are both vague. Curly's lack of action and level of responsibility are devastating, but whether or not he deserves punishment or empathy are the viewer's decision.

[a-star-that-burns-brightly]

It's kind of disheartening to me how the common fanon portrayal of Xander and David's dynamic is usually boiled down to Xander being a 'simp' (for lack of a better word) with a one-sided adoration and idolization of David. Especially after the latter's heel turn in CH2-11. And I say that because one of the most important facets of their dynamic to me is the fact that David also very much idolizes Xander just as much, if not more then Xander idolizes him. David believes the world cannot change, we know this. But I think an aspect of his philosophy that I think goes severely overlooked is just how badly he wants to not believe that. He wants to believe that the world can change, and more specifically, that people can change. This aspect of himself can be seen in many parts of his character. I'll most likely touch on this in a later post, but it's most likely part of why he devised his plan to share the secrets. It's very likely the reason he became a motivational speaker, and it plays a massive part in his two closest relationships during the killing game, Arei and Xander. But today, we're talking about Xander. David looks up to Xander. Incredibly so. Xander is everything that he wants to be.

David: You wanted to make Nico feel comfortable, even though you wouldn't necessarily get anything out of it.

Someone who is unconditionally kind to others with no ulterior deceitful motive, just for the sake of being kind to others.

David: You're always full of energy and bravery to achieve your goals, no matter what they are. Yet at the same time, you're a compassionate person who takes the time to help others.

Someone who strives for hope and change, and will never back down until he has it.

David: I have trouble believing that Xander would be the kind of person to commit murder.

An unquestionable Good Person.

That is why he pushes back so hard when Teruko accuses Xander of attempting to kill her. He refused to acknowledge the possibility that Xander, for all of his good qualities, might've been a much more deceitful person than he was letting on.

Because quite frankly, even though the two of them agreed to treat each other to treat each other less as role models and more as friends, if you ask me: I don't think David ever stopped seeing Xander as his role model. I mean, why would he? Like I said before, Xander is everything David wants to be, everything David so badly wishes he could be but has it etched into his brain that he is incapable of such. Xander is a light in his dark chasm of cynicism, a glimmer of hope. That maybe, just maybe...

Xander: Enough with these idols or role models, okay? Let's just be friends. David: I... David: I'd love that. Thank you.

Things could change.

Teruko: Earlier at lunch, Xander had asked for me to meet him in the computer lab, claiming that he wanted to tell me about some plan he had to confront the mastermind. Teruko: We both met up there after dinner, where he tried to murder me instead by stabbing me with the kitchen knife. David: Xander tried to kill you? I find that hard to believe.

And then the light starts flickering. I've mentioned it before in this post, but one of David's biggest flaws in his mindset is that it causes him to view people, including himself, in a nuance-less binary lens of black and white.

David: People who are born lazy, useless and stupid will stay that way until they die. If you were able to "improve" yourself into a better person, then it only means you were a better person to begin with.

You are either a good person, or a lazy, useless, stupid piece of shit. In simpler terms, you are either born a good person or you are born a bad person, and whichever you are born with will become your identity until the day you are in a casket. That is what David believes. Up until now, Xander was strictly placed into the slot of "good person". Not just that, but practically the opposite of what David deems as a "lazy, useless, and stupid" person. He himself has described Xander as someone who is full of energy and will do anything to achieve his goals, someone who takes the time to help others, and a compassionate and generally emotionally intelligent person. That is who Xander Matthews is to David. But now that he is being given evidence of a more potentially malicious side to Xander, the pitfalls of a firm black-and-white mindset rear their head and repeatedly bludgeon David in his own.

David: It's possible that those bloodstains are Xander's, not yours.

(he's reaching so fucking hard here and he fucking knows it, god I hate him. /pos)

David: Are you saying that Xander is a killer? I find that difficult to believe.

Teruko: -But I believe that the origin of the DVD is not from the culprit, but rather, from that person (SELECT: Xander) Teruko: It was most likely Xander. David: Xander... He planned something that manipulative?

David's monochrome mentality (Riproducer reference completely intended) makes it so that he cannot even fathom the idea that Xander, someone he previously marked off as not just a good person but the good person, is even capable of hurting someone, of being cruel enough to intentionally trigger someone just for his murder plan, to murder someone in general. If his feelings towards Min are anything to go by...

David: Something as horrible as this murder, as horrible as this class trial-- David: How dare you! You killed Xander, and you were perfectly willing to kill everyone else here to escape!

David: At that time, watching Min, I kept thinking... David: ... David: How utterly pathetic she was!

That would certainly bring Xander to the category of lazy, useless, stupid bastards. But David has already put Xander into the category of a "good person". So what else is he meant to do other than defend and deflect anything suggesting otherwise? David doesn't want to believe that that glimmer of hope that Xander gave him was just a lie, that hope that things could change, that he could change. So he defends it. He clings to it. He doesn't want to let go. But here's the funny thing about David. Despite his black-and-white mindset, despite the fact that he does believe good people exist, he will always be, first and foremost: A cynical bitch. Point being: I think David, deep down, knew full well that Teruko was most likely telling the truth. Like, I joked about it earlier, but do you really think he believed the lack-luster argument that completely ignored evidence that he could gleam by just looking at the crime scene? I think he was just reaching for anything at that point to try and prove himself wrong. But it's no use, the light continues to flicker. David's denial of Xander's cruelty is quiet to none, but it's clear he is still clinging desperately onto the positive image of Xander he used to have, seeing as he does not show nearly as much animosity (verbally anyway) towards Xander then he does towards Min, despite the fact that Xander also seemed more than willing to kill the rest of the class to escape. It's breaking. But after Min's execution, it's clear that it all hits him at once.

David: I... I've seen enough. There's no point in keeping my hopes up anymore. David: We are all certainly going to die here.

David Chiem left the courtroom that day with his hopes snuffed out, nothing left within him other than the cruel reminder of something he already knew:

If something is important, then

It'll break and disappear.

[bibibbon]

Hi, so about my besties au...thanks to many excellents metas, I will try to change some chapters bc I think the pussycats are problematics or something closer. Pixieboob was weird with Izu, while you could chuckle as "lol she is an old woman who thinks she is still young" is creepy how we do have a second time a female hero is being creepy with a teen

(in besties au she will not be a girl's girls and see Izumi as competition)

But here my question: what the pussycats were meant to teach the students?

I know Mr. Sexyman ruined the program but...what was the program? Bc send kids to the camp was a bad call even if Mr. SEXYMAN didn't want to recruit BK. (Shiga attacked UA and it was thanks to a miracle, Izu and AM that nothing worse happened...I could give credit to Aizawa but he should have died or face worse)

And then we can add further....what the pussycats do as heroes? Someone said unsure if is canon or not ...how they are rescue heroes (the split of heroes makes no sense to me bc heroes would all try to save and rescue others) and what is the difference?

What the pussycats can teach that requires everyone to go to a camp? UA is a big place that has fake cities.

Someone (thr0) gave the idea how the pussycats were being accommodated towards Kota as he is not happy about heroes...if it's true, it's commendable they aren't forcing him to go but ...well, why insist in calling them?

Yes in Japan, idols are a big thing.

MHA is set in japan

But aside that...what are the pussycats?

Also, to finish: remember that line when one of the pussycats said "we have an even number of students, someone will be alone" and Izu, ofc, is alone. (Not blaming them for this that's on A1 being shitty) But ...it strikes as odd as defeats the purpose of teaching and let the kids bond (if that was the idea)

Say in A1 has 41 students (I don't even know how many kids there and I don't care) and the pussycats were expecting just 40. Well, make 2 groups where group A has 20, group B has 21. Everyone is included.

Again, what the fuck they were supposed to learn?

Hi @mikeellee 👋

It's definitely a great idea to play around with your characterisation of the pussycats especially because there is so little to them and they could be used to further improve the world building of mha.

The pussycats being problematic could be a great plot point having them be another example of the deep flaws of hero society. The pussycats are a hero group but they are also entertainers. They are entertainers first and heroes second and in my opinion that's evident in the way they present themselves with costumes that seem to be for show and nor suitable for fighting.

However, that doesn't mean that the pussycats can't fight or don't have valuable quirks like Tomoko's quirk search which was so conventional and valuable that all for one had to get his hands on it. The pussycats must of also been powerful to have held a title and job as heroes for a good number of years but maybe this is might be based on their public relations then their actual hero work.

That's to say the pussycats are problematic whether that be one of the members acting weird towards the boys in 1A but reducing it all to a mere gag.

While I do understand that this just like midnight's behaviour is all apart of their hero image and and act its worse that heroes who are in the 18+ category or well near that category would still do and say things like this to minors.

You also have mandalay and her questionable guardianship of kota. It's nothing like the others but I don't think that mandalay gave kota the support he needed and if that it due to her job ad a hero that further emphasises the point of the tough conditions there is to being a hero and the toxic standards.

Ultimately, making the pussycats have problematic elements that are highlighted within their character is a great idea.

Moving on to your second enquiry the ua training camp arc was supposed to do exactly that train the hero students by having them figure out their own weaknesses and letting them figure out what they want to focus on. While there are skills where everyone can develop like agility and strength which have been tested and were tested the moment they arrived.

The other days were spent on quirk strength and each individual stretching themselves to develop a better stamina.

Now you might say but why were the wild wild pussycats the ones to help them with this? And all I have to say is that I think that they are the ones in charge of the forest and they were probably the most available heroes at the moment to take care of the students.

I still think that It would of been better if each individual student got to try and get work experience in a hero agency through the summer and those that couldn't would be able to attend the summer camp. However, that wouldn't work or help the plot so it's understandable that this route wasn't taken.

1A has 20 students and 1B has around the same number. The mha summer camp could of been great to show the classes bonding and having 1b maybe understand what 1A went through and that they aren't stuck up at all. I think even if izuku was left alone it would of been nice to pair him up with someone from 1B like yangi who thinks he is creepy and cool and we could have them interact or just have izuku bond with 1B. That's not meaning that he isn't bonding with 1A but we need more 1B content in my opinion.

[foursaints]

I have Lily thoughts:

Listening to boygenius and the lyrics "always an angel never a god" stuck out to me. It feels immensely Lily-coded. I characterize her as always being put on a pedestal and being compared to an angel, treated like a porcelain doll. She hates it, but it's the role she's been given and can't change it, so she copes.

BUT. BUT. Barty????? Ooohhhhhh Barty would see her as a god and treat her as such. He would pray on the ground she walks on. He would call her a goddess, kneeling before her and calling her a god. I could see her getting drunk on power sometimes.

He would never call her an angel. Maybe mockingly, but Evan is his angel. This is my Bartylily Bible.

hm.. i totally agree about the boygenius lyrics but i actually feel the opposite way about bartylily! i agree that lily has spent the majority of her life being put on a pedestal in that way, whether she's made out to be The Brightest Witch or someone's Dream Girl, like you said.

bartylily is so special to me because i don't think barty sees her as an angel OR a god, he's the one person who just sees her as a regular fucking person! barty isn't the type to idolize people, especially not anyone as normative & successful & palatable as lily. he thinks she's a fucking dork!! and an annoying hard-ass, and bossy, and he's not afraid to point this out and make fun of her. he likes that she actually has flaws— it's his favorite thing about her.

when someone calls lily perfect, barty rolls his eyes and laughs in their face. and that's exactly what lily would find compelling about him... to me, barty is sarcastically swooning and going "oh lily, you're like a goddess... promise you'll go out with me if I get the quaffle for you?" while she swats at his arm and goes "STOP IT, barty, seriously, you're awful, potter's not THAT bad—" but she's laughing at it, too.

[iamnmbr3]

The more I read HP, the more I can see the unintentional drarry moments J.K. Rowling has set up in the narrative.

And while I get she's not notoriously good at writing romance, but I just don't understand how there's no reason at all for us to think he'd end up with Ginny.

Unlike romione one day he's crushing on Cho and the next he's kissing Ginny and there's that. We barely even know how he really feels about her, hell, we learn way more about Draco unwillingly than we do about her and I'm just ???

What exactly do we know about Ginny that wasn't information someone offered Harry that he didn't pick up on by himself? We barely know the color of her eyes, but wr get a 15 page essay on how Draco looks?

At this point I just feel bad for her because girly deserved better

There is definitely some setup for hinny (unlike lupin/tonks that really comes out of literally nowhere at all) but yeah it's not much and pretty easy to miss so it feels like it comes out of nowhere in book 6 - especially because Ginny's characterization and narrative framing change in book 6.

If she'd continued to be written the way she was in book 5 and her relationship with Harry continued to be written the way it was in that book it might've felt more natural. Instead in book 6 Harry is actually less close to her than in book 5 - no longer confessing his problems or feelings to her; he doesn't even ever tell her about the prophecy nor does he feel any desire to share what he's learning about Voldemort with her, even given her experiences with Tom Riddle in book 2. So she's actually much more tertiary to his life rather than increasingly involved.

If they were going to get together I think book 6 should've been the slow burn buildup book with them getting increasingly close and some will they or won't they energy going on and then they finally get together in book 7. I guess JKR kinda did try to do the slow burn thing it just didn't really work for me.

I actually have mixed feelings on whether this is a flaw. I say it didn't work for me but I mean that only in the sense that I don't buy them being soulmates who ultimately end up together. Harry and Ginny's relationship as depicted in the books does actually feel realistic to me and is interesting as is - just not as something endgame. She idolizes him. Harry thinks he might be dead soon and wishfully mistakes lust for love - partly because he'd feel bad just having a casual relationship with his best friend's sister. But after the war they realize they don't really know each other and aren't that well matched. Each needs someone else and they go their separate ways.

I think that's compelling and realistic. So if we ignore the epilogue I actually totally buy what happened in canon. I stg the whole book series is a perfect setup for 8th year or postwar drarry. It's why I prefer drarry fic that is post canon rather than canon divergent and only ignores the epilogue.

And yeah. Harry doesn't really respect Ginny and consistently sidelines her. I mean neither of them even ever gets each other a Christmas or birthday present. Even in 6th year when they're dating. They're not that close. Can you imagine Harry shopping for a present for Ginny? He's great at buying things for Ron or Hermione because he knows them well, but Ginny? Does he even know her well enough to know what to get her? No.

[laventadorn]

I am madly in love with the way you described Dumbledore in TNER. It's one of my favorite characters, but I know so few works where he really resembles the book version. You've done it perfectly. And I'm curious, what do you generally think of such a controversial personality?

aw, thank you! :3

dumbledore is super polarizing (or do most people hate him these days? i'm always reading pro-snape stories and Dumbledore is persona non grata in those akgjaj not sure how he shakes down in other parts of fandom).

to me, characters are either boring or interesting. within these designations, you can have different shades: "aggressively uninterested" or "just don't think about them at all," vs. "their psychology intrigues me" to "i must hereafter shape my identity around my new blorbo" (e.g. snape!)

dumbledore is my "his psychology intrigues me" type. he fascinates me. what the heck is his deal. he lets harry run around doing the most insane things with monsters and bodily harm, lets snape run around doing the most insane things to his students egos; lets the marauders do whatever the heck was going on there; hires a dude wearing voldemort as an accessory, and gilderoy lockheart -- the list is endless. but then! he's genuinely kind to house-elves. he's completely free of werewolf prejudice, and other prejudices besides (apart from the Youthful World Domination phase in which he hated muggles and stuff). he does seem to be genuinely kind and caring. he's also idolized by the narrative, talked up pretty much at every turn.

there's a kind of cognitive dissonance to the guy.

the narrative for six books: omg dumbledore is THE most amazing. the kindest, the most enlightened, the most trustworthy, the one harry trusts without reserve, the one who gives everyone strength, the only one voldemort fears, defeater of grindelwald, also he loves candy! proof he's the best.

the Secret Backstory dropped in the last book: uhm ACTUALLY

the narrative again: NO HE'S STILL THE BEST. ignore harry dying. THE BEST. ALBUS SEVERUS POTTER. SEE?

to be clear, none of this bothers or annoys me. i just don't think of it that way. what i do think is that JKR was trying to finagle something she didn't quite have the subtlety to pull off.

once we get his full backstory, we have a guy who 1) went through a world domination phase with the man he loved 2) accidentally murdered his own sister 3) realized the path he was on would lead to widespread destruction 4) isolated himself from the world because he couldn't be trusted, either with power or with love.

this is my favorite thing about dumbledore: he locks himself up in a tower because he believes, or understands, himself to be an incredible danger to life and liberty. he cannot be trusted. he proves this over and over: first with the safety of his siblings; then the safety of the larger world; and finally, tragically, the safety of harry. he doesn't even trust himself, although he continues to act as if his judgments are without fault or flaw. he tells harry that because his intellect is greater than most people's, his errors tend to be correspondingly huger -- a line that leads harry to believe dumbledore made the wrong judgement about snape, of course, but which is actually about dumbledore's own youth. but the fact that dumbledore turned down an official position of power (minster for magic) and sequestered himself in hogwarts from a young age, that's him not trusting himself, and knowing it, and removing himself from the temptation of widespread influence and public control.

his past wrong judgements become more impactful when we understand he was in love with grindelwald and probably still harbors some tangled knot of feelings. HP is a series about love -- voldemort never understood it, was conceived in violation of it; harry was protected by an act of love from lily, who died for him, and an act of love from snape, who lived for her. harry's patronus, the purest expression of joy that magic is capable of manifesting, is borne of his own love for his father. harry's enduring love for the family he never knew protects him not only from voldemort's touch but from his influence -- he declares he'll never Join the Dark Side because voldemort killed his parents. "you are protected," says dumbledore, "by your ability to love." this was not true for dumbledore.

harry's love purifies his intent and gives him courage. snape's love (again, see his vow, his patronus) turns him off a path of evil to one of self-sacrifice. dumbledore's love, by contrast, killed his sister, destroyed his relationship with his brother, allowed a villain to rise to power. i just think, damn. what must dumbledore feel when he looks at it that way?

i love the inherent destructiveness of loving something monstrous; loving something when you don't want to. there's a notion that we are what we love, or that our love is some reflection of ourselves. if we look at it like that, then dumbledore loving someone evil says a lot about him. but he was frightened by it, so he locked himself away.

he also combines what appears to be a great capacity for compassion with an equal capacity to sacrifice anything necessary in order to achieve a goal he's constructed as worthy.

this makes sense, too: in a way, he sacrificed himself all those years ago -- his plans, his future, his love, because the price was too high. dumbledore in his youth thought that he could Save the World by controlling people. then he realized that control has only ever doomed the world, but he never quite let go of saving the world. when voldemort rises, dumbledore takes a different tack of becoming a private general, or perhaps a military advisor: still largely removed from the thick of war but directing others, who are relieved and grateful to have his plans of attack. he also deeply inspires people, harry being one of the most powerful examples. harry places his absolute trust in dumbledore, believing that this person loves him (which he does) and will always protect him (which he can't) -- and dumbledore betrays this trust by openly acknowledging that, for the freedom of the world, harry needs to die.

it hurts dumbledore to realize that harry has to die in order for the world to be saved; it hurts him so badly he (as i see it) pawns off the truth-telling to snape. he can't look snape in the eye when he tells him; he can't look at anything. he shuts his eyes as if blindness will make it easier.

dumbledore could face the truth, the necessity. he doesn't say "we'll find another way," he says "harry must die." but he couldn't face harry. his desire to save the world once again places him in a position where he has to hurt someone he loves. and he does it. in a way, he keeps playing himself.

i LOVE that.

.....i wrote a lot more than i thought i would akgajgkahjh well, he's one of your favorites, so hopefully you didn't mind!

[stillfrownyclownlol]

@moonbiine got me with the Aiden bug

I thought a lot about how to start this and none of them were good so, here's this;

Frowny's Thesis on Aiden Clark having Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) based on the DSM-5 criteria, living with people with BPD (hi dad!), being...me!, and general vibes.

What is BPD?

Borderline Personality Disorder is defined by a prolonged disturbance of function marked by depth and variability of mood, pattern of unstable personal relationships, unstable self-image, marked impulsivity, and other symptoms. They can manifest in very different ways (the way it appears between my dad and my grandma for example is not the same), but generally includes this.

1. Fear of Abandonment

Nobody wants to be left behind, that's a given, but for people with BPD this fear can spiral into a paranoid phobia that impacts all their personal relationships. Because BPD is influenced by environmental factors, this often stems from children being abandoned in their youth (ex. My father was the child of a teen pregnancy and his parents couldn't care for him for the first few years of his life, letting him be raised by his grandparents. I also grew up alternatively without my mom and withouty my dad, and once for a time with neither of them)

It's been shown to us before that Aiden's parents are often absent from the house, for even months at a time. He seems very used to this and it's likely he grew up very isolated or passed around between different relatives. And I do think this shows in his attachment style; he is a very clingy and sort of "decides" to hyperfixate on a certain person (Ash *coughs*) in the hopes that they'll become friends, and he does this very quickly. Already so scared of losing Ash on that roof even tho he's only known her for like 3 months at this point. He really can't bear the thought of her not being with him.

On the subject of Ash he's idolized her sooooo bad she's so screwed. Pls the Angelic lighting filter he puts on her?? SHE CANT SAVE YOU AIDEN. YOU HAVE TO DO IT YOURSELF. (But i get it its hard) Ties back into how people with BPD see the world in strict black and white, he can't see Ash's flaws and that's how he defends her so much, she's literally like a savior to him and here comes the disciple complex.

He's been forced to move so many times, he's probably made friends who just couldn't keep up the effort of maintaining a long distance friendship and ghosted him, or even him doing the opposite, pushing people away just to avoid the sting of abandonment again. They can't hurt you if you hurt them first.

2. Unstable self-image.

He bleaches his hair end of story /j

No but really, tell me Aiden doesn't put up a persona- he's gone through the phases from quiet gifted kid to an impulsive extroverted mischievous mess. Don't you just look at him and feel the self-hatred coming off in waves?? Dyeing his hair, getting contacts, the ever present grin that must be painful at this point, it's like he can't...look at himself. Like he doesn't want to look at himself.

He can't even face his own problems; he literally paints a clown face on himself after dying cuz he doesn't want to process his feelings about it lol 🫠

Like genuinely, how exactly does Aiden want to be perceived? What is the point of this facade? For himself? For other people? I think he's just trying to shut away his past and start fresh without having to confront it, but...when the root is rotten, nothing healthy can grow, so he needs to get to the source of his issues.

3. Anger regulation problems

Unpopular opinion probably but he seems so angry to me. It's definitely WAY more present in the early chapters like when he goes tf off on Tyler, he was barely controlling himself there asdfghjkl- but I think it manifests more in him attacking the phantoms, it's obviously an adrenaline thing for him but I think he's taking out a lot of anger at the same time too. Even if some of this anger is coming from a righteous place; the desire to protect his loved ones (which ties into the abandonment too, you are still abandoned even when it wasn't their choice), because peope with BPD see the world as smth very...dangerous, I guess is the word? Even if maybe that doesn't apply to themselves

(Fastpass spoilers)

He's also not above taking his anger out on humans either considering he was about to take Alex's eyes out with that paintbrush and was gonna choke the life outta them-

(Done.)

4. Consistent feelings of sadness/worthlessness.

5. Self-injury, suicidal behaviour, suicidal ideation.

Aiden do be a sadboi even with all the smiley faces on his clothes. I think this is probably smth that was way worse when he was younger that led to that depression where he was locked in his room eating junk food and disassociating, and while he's probably coping with it differently it's still smth he struggles with. I mean shiiiiiit, because of his impulsiveness he does kinda cause problems but God he feels SOOOO goddamn bad about it lahdlsj, he was so guilty about the Ash situation, he probably beat himself up so much about that-

Emotions are very extreme, it's 'similar' to bipolar disorder with manic and depressive episodes, except they happen at a much quicker scale (in the same day for ex.) which seems to me how Aiden only lets himself experience positive emotions even tho he's in a deeply stressful situation (even tho there's good parts too like his friends) because he just can't handle having to fully experience those negative emotions.

Check, check, check! Aiden has zero self preservation instincts, he throws himself off walls, gets up close and personal with phantoms that could easily kill him, actually didn't give a fuck about dying?? Actually ENJOYED IT? But didn't wanna do it again because his Favourite person was worried about him and the absolute high of that feeling completely beat out anything else?? Okay man, we get it, you're living for somebody else at this point-

People with BPD suffer from chronic feelings of emptiness and pain is the best kind of distraction for Aiden (cue: him slamming his forehead on the table because he's bored)

6. Impulsive behaviors (aka a bunch of shit which can be summed up as addictions)

Well, for starters, he's an absolute adrenaline junkie, because he feels so constantly empty Aiden wants something to make him feel alive. And adrenaline is the flawless, biological, factual answer to this. Ergo all his octane hobbies and impulsive behaviors. Ties back into his obsessiveness, which, don't get me wrong this doesn't make him a bad guy or anything, we all get a little obsessed with things sometimes, that's just things humans do- but when you have bpd, it's very...difficult to just STAY happy, like an addiction, when the high wears off, they're empty again.

Maybe a bit of a stretch, but considering all the Ramen packets in his room when he was younger I wouldn't be surprised if he had some sort of ED or binge eats (Same bestie.)

Also for sure a reckless driver I'm 99% sure he crashed all those go-karts he drived before.

---

I don't really know where I'm going with this. It's hard to live with somebody who has BPD, it's hard to live with it yourself, it's hard to see other people go through it even when it's hurting yourself. I hate pushing people away, but you get so caught up in your own thoughts, and it just...happens...and when it's done...you really regret it, but it's too late...and you just wonder if things are better like this, being alone and not hurting anybody anymore, cuz they're certainly happy on their own

I don't think anybody who has bpd is automatically a bad person, they just have things harder than normal. People with BPD....they can be amazing artists, or good with animals, or really very kind. They have very big hearts, thats why they feel so deeply. And I think Aiden is a good person, because he has so much love to give, but has never been given an outlet to express that properly, but you can see him making great strides in learning how, with the help of his friends 🧡

Might edit this later when I get my thoughts more clear it's midnight here lol

[petra-creat0r]

Deltarune: Fool's Fate Ch. 2 Main Bosses

Time to start on Fool's Fate Dark World two, electric boogalo, aka the Arcade World! Let's get started with the main bosses of this chapter (plus their daughter), the stars of the arcade's most popular cabinet, Electric Rhythm Empire, Empress, Ritsu, and Emperor!!!

(Man the colors on this looked different on my canvas... Why are my colors getting messed up? Particularly Emperor's. He's supposed to be like, a yellowy green. Which I guess he kinda is here?)

The rulers of the arcade Dark World and their daughter (seriously need better names for these). At the start of the chapter after tracking down one of Chicago's friends, Neil, the party runs into Empress and Ritsu, who were tormenting Neil with rhythm puzzles. After introducing themselves, CK challenges Ritsu to a battle. Emperor isn't mentioned until later and not encountered until the end of the chapter.

Empress and Ritsu take on the Lancer/Queen/Berdly sort of role where they're encountered multiple times through out the chapter to challenge the party with puzzles, battles, funny cutscenes, etc. Though you encounter both Empress and Ritsu at the start of the chapter, after your fight with Ritsu, she throws a fit before being pacified by Remie, putting her out until the 2nd area, thus meaning you're mostly dealing with Empress in the first area.

Empress's personality pulls on Queen (I imagine them having a mom rivalry in Castle Town) though when Ritsu's around, she's rather chill and laid back. She does care about her kid, but also knows her kid is very energetic and can handle herself when playing/fighting a group of other children. Just... Don't hurt Ritsu. You likely don't want to see what happens if you mess with her baby. Empress on her own though? Prepare for an intense DDR break dance fight. Actually multiple of them. In a row. She doesn't like to loose. Even if she can be intense and a sore loser, Empress will still praise your creativity in solving her puzzles and road blocks.

Like I mentioned earlier, one of Ritsu's first encounters involved her throwing a temper tantrum at loosing a battle, so that can give you a bit of a sense of the type of kid she is. She considers herself an idol, literally introducing herself as "The sensational, terrific, all-time idol Ritsu!!!" Other than being a bit of a spoiled brat, Ritsu is very energetic. Sometimes it can take quite a lot of stamina and speed to match her in a rhythm rap battle, girl has BARS.

Emperor isn't encountered until the very end of the chapter, he is a bit similar to King in a few aspects, (again, I see a rivalry between him and King) mostly in being very authoritative and angry much of the time. However I also seem him as a general control freak (Makes sense taking in his Light World item) and probably something of a perfectionist and neat freak. He's mainly even made aware of your presence because you break into the Palace, after which you're quickly seized and captured. Even if we mainly see him as a cruel ruler throughout the chapter, Emperor is also a caring father. Empress and Emperor may both be flawed, but they are genuinely good parents who care about their daughter. Additionally, this guy can totally shred at Guitar Hero.

I imagine in the final battle, you're either mostly up against Emperor, or both him and Empress. Perhaps its a mix of both depending on the phrase and how much control Emperor is taking during the fight until later the two manage to finally work in harmony before Ritsu comes to break up the battle. I don't know, either way it's going to be rhythm hell with both the dance and guitar rhythm sections of this game.

Empress and Emperor's names should be a tad obvious. Like Magican and Priestess, they pull from tarot cards. The Empress and the Emperor. It's also where they get some of their personalities (this half explains their similarities to Queen and King. Those two just fit the maternal and paternal roles that the Empress and Emperor cards represent.)

Ritsu is a bit more interesting because she doesn't have tarot card inspiration. It comes from the Japanese word "律" or "Ritsu", (Electric Rhythm Empire was originally a Japanese arcade game) which Google translate told me means rhythm, law, or regulation. Her full name is Himeko Ritsu, meaning basically "Princess Drum Rhythm". Technically, Empress and Emperor also have the family name Himeko, but I'm not putting their full names since they're ridiculously long and just for a gag. (Well, at least Empress's is.)

As for their Light World counterparts? All three of them together are the arcade cabinet for Electric Rhythm Empire, but individually... Empress is likely the cabinet screen. She uses a lot of flashy holograms and theatrics. Ritsu is the card/ticket dispenser or one of the collectible cards (ERE is one of those rhythm games with collectible cards). Emperor is the control panel, thus his control freak tendencies.

In addition to their items, though, I also have each of them have a different rhythm game mechanic tied to them. Empress is dance rhythm games like Just Dance or DDR, Ritsu is button press rhythm games like Friday Night Funkin or PaRappa the Rapper, and Emperor is instrument control rhythm games like Guitar Hero or Piano Keys.

Backstory under cut

The ruling of Arcade World has always been something of a popularity contest. A long time ago, it was ruled by someone else, but ever since ERE joined the picture, they quickly rose to the top and have ruled supreme, charming the land not through any sort of sorcery or mind control manipulation, but through their charisma and music.

Empress and Emperor were an ultimate power couple, nurturing and leadership ruling side by side. And their daughter Ritsu was a cute little idol everyone adored. As a trio, they were the perfect balance of challenge and fun, bringing in many Lightners to bless the Arcade World. The ERE trio were beloved and sought out by everyone in the land. ... And even by some outside of the land.

One day, a knight arrived. A Lightner somewhat familiar yet still foreign to the Arcade World. Enamored by this land after stabbing into the earth to create a flowing Fountain of Darkness. A brilliant geyser that amazed all who beheld it. After wards, the Knight went straight for the Palace to track down the rulers and present them with the Fountain.

After presenting the Fountain to the Emperor and Empress, the Knight warned that soon a group of Lightner heroes would arrive and try to close the Fountain which now gave this land form. "I don't know when, but soon" The Knight said, before turning on their heel and and departing. Leaving the Arcade World to it's own devices.

Afterwards, the Emperor started to become obsessive over the Fountain. ensuring it remained protected in the Palace. Empress, on the other hand, was more concerned about the protection of her daughter and people, deciding to take on a more direct approach of confronting the Lightners head on when they arrived. Ritsu, being only a child was unaware of the dealings and goings on of adults. Merely caught in the middle of her parent's separate yet convergent goals. Mostly following her mother and excited at the possibility of getting to play new people. And so the dynamic of the Arcade World and it's rulers was ever so shifted... Until the Lightners soon arrived, just as the Knight had said.

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ELECTRIC RHYTHM EMPIRE: PREPARE FOR SUPER RHYTHM MANIA! Insert Coin to Start

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