#but barely touched this one bc. idk actually but it's funny. Like i have THIS that i'm going to give SHADING and stuff

[f1byjessie]

A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS ━━ LN4.

sometimes the right words are hard to come across, and sometimes everything you need to say can be captured in an image.

( lando norris x photographer!reader )

━━ part three.

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yourusername is it time for bahrain yet?! can’t wait to see these two back in action again soon! 🧡

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mclaren We keep asking ourselves the same thing! Our engines are ready and we’re raring to go! 🧡

↳ yourusername you truly understand me mclaren admin

↳ mclaren we think you’re the one who truly understands us y/n

↳ user y/n x mclaren admin?? 🤯 the plot twist none of us saw coming

user missing these lads so much lately

user THE RADIO SILENCE ON OSCAR’S SOCIALS WAS KILLING ME I DEPEND ON THESE MEN TOO MUCH THEY KEEP ME ALIVE 😭😭

user the f1 drought is real rn

user MCLAREN SUPREMACY 2024

↳ user i’m trying to be delulu but we all know it’s just gonna be the mv33 and redbull show again this year 🫤

user soooo are we all just gonna pretend like we didn’t see the pics of her with garrett ward orrrrr?

↳ user no bc i was just thinking the same thing 👀

↳ user wait that was actually her??? cuz you can like barely see her face so i thought it was just a joke???

user what a fake ass bitch

user she only posts other ppl on her acc cuz she knows her ugly ass face would scare everyone else away

user homegirl needs to stay tf away from my man fr 😤😤

user god what a hoe 😒 she already has these two that she could fuck with idk why she needed to go after garrett

user SLUT SLUT SLUT

user if she tries anything with anyone else on the city team i’m gonna lose my shit fr

↳ user same omg

↳ user honestly i’m just glad she didn’t go after grealish or haaland 🙌

↳ user she probably would’ve tried if they weren’t taken already 🙄

↳ user nah i bet she’s totally a homewrecker garrett’s probably just the first on her list

user oh… these comments… 😰

↳ user right???

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yourusername the city boys know how it’s done! and looking pretty good in orange too 😉

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mancity The lads are looking good indeed! This weekend’s match against Newcastle should be an exciting one! ⚽️🩵

mclaren ✍️ Jeremy ✍️ Doku ✍️ and ✍️ Ruben ✍️ Dias ✍️ McLaren ✍️ 2025

↳ mancity Do you think Lando Norris and Oscar Piastri would look good in sky blue? 🤔

user funny how she posts every city man BUT garrett

user god when does she go back to f1??

↳ user march iirc

↳ user well it can’t get here soon enough jfc

user FUCK OFF WE DON’T WANT YOU

user you’re a slag and should accept the fact that any guy would only want you bc of how easy you are

user i’ll bet my left leg that the only reason the f1 boys haven’t shacked up with her yet is cuz they know she’s probably riddled with disease since she drools over every guy that comes near her 😒 like girl needs to bffr and realize that throwing herself at every male in her vicinity isn’t gonna land her a husband and it just making her even more of a slut

↳ user nah i’ll bet they’ve all already done her over in f1 but nobody will touch her now that they’ve passed her round so she had to come over to football just to try and get someone to touch her again 🙄🙄🙄

user i hope garrett realizes how much of a slut she is and breaks up with her

user sick and tired of bitches like this getting with footballers and being all controlling. like i’ll bet she’s gonna tell garrett he can’t go out and party with his mates anymore bc he has to spend time in with her and then she’ll get all pissy about him having female fans bc she’s insecure and knows that if garrett got to meet a REAL fan he’d jump ship immediately. those of us who ACTUALLY care about footballers know their fans are super important to them and we wouldn’t hinder their relationship with them just bc we’re jealous or insecure. garrett needs to be with someone who actually supports him and is willing to let him do what he wants instead of controlling him like he’s a dog on a leash.

user kys like genuinely

user god i can’t wait for this skank to die 😒

“Hey Lando, it’s me. Your best friend. Again,” you give a humorless chuckle. “I could seriously use some of your wizened advice right about now, so, uh, please just give me a call back when you can. Thanks.”

It seems poetic in a cruel sort of way that less than a week ago you were walking Etihad Campus and feeling like you were on top of the world━ working a new albeit temporary gig, adding the Manchester City name to your list of clients, having photos of world-renowned footballers in your portfolio━ and now you’ve resigned yourself to hiding away in the women’s restroom, locked in a stall because it’s the only place you could think of where nobody would be able to find you.

You’re on the verge of tears and feeling rather stupid for it.

It’s the third time today alone that your call has gone straight to voicemail, and with the dozens of unread texts you’ve sent in the last week added to the mix, it’s starting to paint a picture you’re not very happy with. Lando is ignoring you. Or he’s blocked you. Or he’s blocked you because he’s ignoring you━

You bite down on your lip, hard, to keep back the sob crawling its way up your throat.

You’re not a PR officer, you hadn’t been lying when you told Garrett that, but you’ve spent enough time around the McLaren PR teams that you’ve picked up enough tips and tricks to know, at the very least, that the best thing you can do is just ignore the comments.

That’s what they tell all the athletes.

What they don’t tell the athletes is that ignoring the comments is much easier said than done, especially when your career requires you to have such a significant online presence. And the thing is, despite all of these strangers hounding you with every name under the sun and criticizing your capabilities, qualifications, and very existence, the thing that hurts the most is the radio silence from the only person you know could make it all better.

Now, more than ever, you need your best friend. But he isn’t here.

You tuck your phone into your jacket pocket and unlock the stall with great reluctance. You know better than to be hiding away, shirking your responsibilities while crying over a few missed phone calls. You have a job to do, and a real professional wouldn’t let something as simple as a handful of tasteless comments get in the way of that.

You should be used to them. It’s nothing you haven’t seen before.

Your first month at McLaren wasn’t entirely different.

When you were first hired on, Carlos had been in Formula One for a handful of years already and had built up a devotedly loyal fanbase with a decently large percentage of possessive fangirls who had come for your head the moment your existence had been announced.

The McLaren Instagram account had posted a picture of you standing between their two grinning drivers, your camera strung around your neck, with a very nice caption welcoming you to the team, and despite no indication that you were by any means involved with either of them in a way that went beyond professional, the comments had been taken over by feral teenage girls who saw the act of you simply standing near Carlos to be a direct threat against their “chances.”

Though it had been frustrating being met with childish threats and petty insults in your comments, you hadn’t really held it against any of them. You remember being a teenage girl and crushing on a celebrity. Deep down you knew you never had a chance with them, but that hadn’t stopped you from hanging posters in your bedroom and doodling their name beneath yours inside of scribbled hearts in your diary.

Regardless, it had taken close to a month for the negativity to die down, and you hadn’t had Lando then, either, so now shouldn’t be much different.

In fact, everyone on the Manchester City team━ trainers, physios, media coordinatiors, and anyone inbetween━ has been very polite about everything between you and Garrett. A lot of them have just avoided saying anything about it, which you’re very grateful for because you don’t think you’d be able to hold back your grimace while thanking them for their well wishes, and the few who have mentioned it typically only say something vague like a wishing you the best of luck or hoping you’re happy.

An intern gave you a sympathetic smile the other day, and you’d nearly burst into tears in the middle of the office of the Director of Communications, so you know you aren’t truly alone in this.

You just feel alone.

Exiting the bathroom is a simple affair. There’s no one standing post outside ready to give you any shit for being hidden away, and nobody comes sprinting around the corner as you make your way down the hall to the press conference room that’s been temporarily turned into your base of operations.

You think you’ll probably be able to go the rest of the afternoon without running into anyone, when you open your door and find━ sitting in the front row of the seats typically saved for journalists and the press, scrolling across his phone with a disinterested look painted across his face━ Jack Grealish.

“Jack,” you greet, a bit shocked. You close the door to the room gently behind you, and cross the distance to your desk. “Did we have a meeting scheduled? It must’ve completely slipped my mind, I sincerely apologize.”

He offers you a polite smile. “No, we didn’t, so no need to be sorry. I actually just wanted to check in. See how things are going with everything.”

You blink at him in surprise. Apart from Garrett, you haven’t really had much time to speak with the other players. They wish you good morning and good afternoon when they see you, and if a ball goes astray they always call out for you to watch your head, but between their morning training and their afternoon training, their strategy reviews at lunch, and the frequent in between meetings with physios, nutritionists, and trainers, they don’t get much time to chit chat with a simple photographer.

You clear your throat, “Erm, it’s going well. I’ve gotten some really good shots these past few days. There’s one with Rodrigo that I’m particularly proud of. It should do well with the fans.”

“And things with Ward?”

You purse your lips.

“Figured.” Jack sighs. “Look, nearly everyone you run into here knows or has at least some inkling into what he’s like. He’s a prick. None of the lads on the team like him, it’s why the managers are trying to get him out of here.”

You lower yourself down into your chair. “He told me they were planning to trade him off because of his reputation.”

Jack scoffs, “Yeah, ‘cause that’s the ‘official’ reason. They can’t cut his contract early for legal reasons, so they’re waiting for it to expire and coming up with an excuse for why they ain’t re-signing him. It’s really just ‘cause the rest of us can’t keep dealing with his massive ego and the fact that he’s a misogynistic fuck who doesn’t know the first thing about respect.”

“Fucking tell me about it,” you mutter with a sigh.

If he expected you to defend Garrett and is surprised by the fact that you haven’t, Jack doesn’t show it. He looks relaxed sitting across from you, like you’re having a casual conversation and not actively shit talking a member of his team. It gives you the impression that he knows significantly more about Garrett than you do, and that because of what he knows he probably figured out that one party in the relationship is not the most willing of participants.

“How’d you get all wrapped up it in then? Didn’t figure you to be the type to go after pricks like Ward.”

You debate over whether you should tell him or not. There isn’t much Jack can do about the situation regardless, but it would at least get things off your chest and if someone else knew then maybe you wouldn’t feel so alone anymore.

There’s only so many days you can spend hiding out in the women’s restroom trying not to bawl your eyes out, and you’ve already reached your limit.

You heave a sigh, “It’s kind of fucked up really.” A pen on your desk catches your attention and you start to fiddle with it, avoiding Jack’s eyes which have focused directly onto you. “He asked if I would help him fix up his reputation by pretending to be his girlfriend so he could show everyone that he’s matured and can hold down a steady relationship. When I told him no, he threatened to make up a lie about inappropriate conduct to get me fired and blacklisted from the industry, so for the sake of preserving my career I agreed.”

“Bloody fucking hell,” Jack murmurs, shaking his head. “I’m real sorry he did that, Y/N.”

You shrug. “It’s happened, so, there’s nothing I can really do except wait it out at this point.”

When you look up and meet his gaze, Jack looks murderous. His hands are clenched into fists on the armrests, knuckles white with the strength of his grip. His brows are furrowed, and his lips are twisted downward in a scowl.

“If you need anything,” he starts, “let me know. And I mean it. We all know how Ward can be. He’s a knobhead. So if you need anything━” his emphasis on the word and what that implies makes you feel more comforted than anything has since the whole fiasco started, “━then you let me know, or you tell one of the other boys and they’ll find me, alright?”

All you can do is nod.

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yourusername there’s no place like home

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━━ tags: @maih23 @urfavnoirette @leclercsluv @f1luvur @formulaal @a-disturbing-self-reflection @starlightpierre @chezmardybum @marshmummy @405rry

━━ a/n: no lando yet, but we've got a cutesy little grealish scene to make up for it because i couldn't have a story with manchester city and not include him! lowkey writing this part made me wanna write for a footballer too... anyways! hope you all enjoy!

[mystic-myrtille]

I'm in a salt mode so lets get into this

One of the biggest problems people had with the L//S is how poorly developed it's been and how less effort it has been put into it, And don't get me started how Adrichat and Maribug barely interact basically making the ship have 0 chemistry.

But then when ships like Lukanette and Adrigami came along, then there's some Toxic L//S stans who bash the characters (and doxx lukanette and adrigami shippers), with their only excuse being "ThEy R iN tHe Way of adr///ette/L//s (Mainly because they're insecure that Lukanette/Adrigami has Chemistry, proper development and effort and their ship doesn't)

I'm so sick and tired of the hate that Lukanette/Adrigami gets.

I'm so sick and tired of the hate that Luka/Kagami gets.

I'm so sick and tired of toxic L//S stans projecting their ship on every. single. damn. thing

I'm so sick and tired of seeing Lukanette/Adrigami shippers get d0xxed, threatened and bullied just because they don't ship the L//S or Adr//ette

Yikes, people doxxed each other because of ships?? For some reason I'm not entirely surprised. I've seen fandoms with super toxic people and the ml fandom sure can be toxic as hell. If you (general) get so worked up about people's opinions about characters from a kids show, you should be denied access to the internet and instead have access to tons grass to touch. But yeah, even just "normal hate" can be frustrating and discouraging, so it's best to just block those people. I completely understand your frustration.

Luka//nette isn't good because they were half canon, it's good because they have a meaningful bond and the root for drama is always outside circumstances and not the fact that they fundementally don't work together. If Mari wasn't Ladybug, they probably wouldn't have split up. That's why I love this ship so much. Besides, they never got in the way of anything. Realistically, no ship can get in the way of a confirmed endgame ship bc, well, it's endgame. So this argument is kind of falls flat (honestly most arguments against Luka//nette I've heard were either not really important or kind of a very outlandish interpretation of their relationship, I don't care about either.)

Heck, even if Luka//nette wasn't the rival ship but just friends in canon who interacted twice, who cares? Shipping isn't supposed to be serious, it's exploring different dynamics between characters and having fun putting them in different scenarios and have them have 6176310278 different first kisses. There's no rule that you have to be on board with the canon ship.

Now speaking of L//S developement (bc now I'm also in a salty mood and I have thoughts)

I and many others have already talked about how s1-4 didn't really do much with them. But I find it funny when people say that s5 did a great job developing they're relationship because... bitch where? I've watched season 5 (I have no self respect) and everything was confusing and over the place and I think that's bc the writers can't make up their minds about which problems the L//S might face actually matter and how they can be solved.

The season starts with Mari making a big deal about how loving Adrien is dangerous because hero stuff. Oh but actually it doesn’t matter, she likes CN now, problem solved! Oh wait no Chat friendzoned her and Adrien is pushing real hard for Adr//nette so they give up their fucking miraculous (in times of crisis I might add), problem solved! No wait, actually the new heroes suck so they take them back, but that’s okay bc being in love and being a superhero at the same time is actually no longer a problem for some reason! The actual problem is that Mari is incapable of expressing herself because she has trauma. And THAT’S the real shit because fucking everybody gets so invested they organize literal dates for them and watch from a distance until they smooch instead of, oh idk, letting them do things their own way. But actually that also doesn't matter anymore bc Zoe just confessed and Mari was so inspired she immediately ran to Adrien. Oh but Adrien is a senti without free will and he goes to england soon whoopsie. Also Gabriel and Tomoe are now Adri//gami shippers because of course we need an arranged marriage deal type of plot. Oh yeah there's also something about Monarch apparently having all the miraculouses but who cares amirite

See what I mean? There's no structure, no actually overcoming problems, it's just random shit happening without any connection to the previous random shit. The characters don't develop in a meaningful way. Mari's only life goal is making one cohesive sentence in front of Adrien and he's kind of just there. I mean he could maybe feel inspired by Marinette's passion for arts and crafts and try out some stuff or he could continue to have no direction in life. Yes, as a teen it's hard knowing what you want to do later in life, but Adrien doesn't even really have actual hobbies he can define himself through. The writers fail not only to develop the relationship as a whole but also the characters involved as people. They could as easily be a situationship where they meed every two days to make out and it wouldn't change anyting. It's just fan service here and there combined with shallow and forgettable dialogue (I think, there wasn't a conversation that stick with me at least) and idk this maybe works as a first love that maybe lasts for a year before they have a dramatic break up and then move on with their lives, But the show tries to sell this idea that the square will actually stay together forever (or have a constant toxic on-off thing bc that's the vibe I'm getting. Plus Bunnyx sort of implied that).

[justin-the-tonedeaf-sidekick]

The plots I would write for Bechloe week 2024 prompts if I ever found the energy to:

Drunken Dare:

Established Bechloe, gfs, post college, mid twenties, Bella outting at a club. Beca refuses a truth asking about who the last person she had sexy type thoughts about that wasn’t Chloe or a celebrity. Chloe is there too. So Beca is obliged to complete a dare because she refused. They dare her to get a girls number at the bar. Beca annoyed and pleads for Chloe to help her get out of it but Chloe is drunk and thinks it’ll be amusing - i mean she’s Chloe and they’ve been dating for years, what’s there to worry about?- so she tells Beca it’s ok and to do it. Beca tries and Chloe’s amused watching her for a few minutes until she see’s Beca put her hand on a girls shoulder and slide it down, because woah woah woah touching wasn’t part of this deal and que very jealous & angry Chloe.

There would be some Bella dialogue trying to calm her down and debating if one of them should go over and stop it and every time Jessica or Ashley speaks they say something that they think is helpful but actually just makes it worse, (“she’s way too tall for Beca anyway Chlo’,” Ashley pauses, and Chloe thinks at least that’s true. Ashley continues, “she’s like as tall as a Victoria’s Secret model”)

Ending TBD. Maybe they fight but then Beca says the girl didn’t give her her number and her flopping makes the whole thing kind of funny so Chloe lets it go and they’re cute and whatever.

“You’re up early”

It would have to be about morning sex. Tired, slow moving, morning voice deeper and softer giggles, on the side, sun barely up, soft skin & hair, shoulder kiss from behind, morning sex.

Chloe’s the person who says it after she wakes to early sun when she feels Beca’s hands roaming around her from their spooning position.

That’s it just smut.

Reality TV

Meeting on reality tv (something fake bc idk many. Something like all female queer Bachelor in Paradise vibes but they’re all strangers and they aren’t from other Bachelor seasons. Just singles on a beach and elimination and everything else works the same).

Beca applied just because her friend made her after she lost bet and then she started getting call backs and her friends convinced her it would help her producer career so she goes.

Chloe applied because she wanted to. She’s the flirtiest person alive. She has some Bachelor in Paradise type nick name that implies she’s a flirt.

They give each other the first impression rose after barely meeting or speaking and just out of running out of options, toward end of night.

Then they’re cute and gradually start to like each other and keep giving each other the other’s rose. There’s the typical drama. Chloe’s ex shows up. Beca’s commitment issues surface.

They get engaged in end but there’s some surprise twist like Beca wakes up and the producers are telling her Chloe is gone and they can’t tell her why yet and Beca assumes she’s running but really there was a family emergency & because it was to do with a personal matter they can’t tell Beca until they hear from Chloe. After some time of Beca freaking out, Chloe reaches out so Beca is finally told what happened. She is relieved but worries and bummed Chloe *dramatic host voice* “will not be returning to paradise.” But they do a catch up in another week and follow them home and they have an engagement at Chloe’s family home.

Idk what the family emergency is but probably sick parent.

It would be really cool to some how write in some short scenes from the tv viewer’s POV.

Enemies/Rivals to lovers

A radio station does concert ticket giveaways every Friday. Chloe and Beca don’t know each other.

They each listen to the radion station regularly. Beca playing it in her car when she’s an Uber driver between university semesters & Chloe playing it in her flower shop she owns in town.

The station has lots of different genre concert tickets. Neither Beca or Chloe try to win every ticket, but they do make sure to be available to call in whenever a band either of them likes plays.

They’re both weirdly obsessive about it. Beca has to plan out her Uber pickups and drop offs just right and make sure she’s in a prime cell network spot so she doesn’t lose service.

Chloe uses her cell and the store phone to call in to double her chances. If no one else is working she locks the doors and puts the closed sign on.

For both of them it’s the rush of the competition, and thrill of winning anything for free, let alone concert tickets for one of their favorite bands.

At some point Beca gets through and is the 9th caller but she needed to be the 10th to win. Chloe ends up being the 10th caller and although Beca doesn’t know her she gets angry at this Chloe person.

Then the opposite happens and Chloe gets angry at Beca.

Another time they start to remember/recognize the others name when Beca calls in as the 4th then Chloe the 5th then Beca the 7th then Chloe the 9th but neither of them get it that time.

Even though neither one get it they’re each respectively mad at the other person, blaming that girl for messing up the other and always trying to get the same tickets as her. They’re both unknowingly the other’s self proclaimed rival.

They each end up buying tickets to that last concert anyway. Coincidentally their seats are next to each other.

They talk and chat through some parts and at some point, maybe after the opener, the other is like oh sorry didn’t introduce myself and wait what’s your name?

“Beca? You don’t by chance listen to 108.5 FM radio on Fridays do you?”

“You’re THAT Chloe!?”

So they figure out who each other are and they laugh about it and then they leave and the rest is history- they fall in love, keep calling into concerts but they don’t care who wins now bc they are in love and dating and whoever wins just takes the other with.

I can’t finish the rest of the prompts I have to go to sleep. If anyone wants to use these feel free. I’m a lil stoney bologna so if something doesn’t make sense that’s why but ya know roll with it.

Maybe I’ll finish the rest tomorrow.

[mxltifxnd0m]

if sam was dating a girly girl he would most certainly wear matching pretty pink hello kitty pajamas and watch disney movies and sappy romcoms with you whenever you want and let you do his skincare (full nine like microblading the eyebrows, face masks, serums, oils, face rollers, EVERYTHING) and he’d pretend not to like it but secretly he loves it (secretly he’s js checking u out bc u look rlly good in the pajamas like u do in everything and he would most definitely touch your ass more than once bc he’s very handsy in general) but nonetheless he enjoys it. also he’d let u have the room whatever theme u wanted and if you wanted to wear a onesie out in public but didn’t wanna do it alone he’d go with you. that man is so crazy for you he’d do ANYTHING you asked, like if u asked him to be a housewife he’d put on one of those stupid maid outfit and make it rlly funny and be pouty and sway his hips and js make it a comedy show js to hear ur laughter and see ur smile. he also gets rlly sassy and pouty, like he definitely flips his hair and then when he says something under his breath and ur like “what was that” he’s like “nothing” and sits up straight. also like if you ask him to do something while ur on ur period (like asking him to get u food or sanitary products) he’d be like “ugh why” at first if he’s like sat/laid in a weird but comfy position that can’t be replicated but when you give him that glare he’s immediately like “yes ma’am” and does it, i also have a feeling like he does a little salute sometimes to warrant a giggle or two. he’s js so effortlessly funny and ur effortlessly funny to him, like you’ll js say something and the delivery of it might be funny and he’ll laugh so hard his ribs would toughen and he’d giggle abt it for days (oopsie i yapped quite a lot here sorryy) but yeah u get what im saying sorry for writing sm didn’t realise i went on a tangent

-💽

ARGHHH I LITERALLY CANT I LOVE THIS SO MUCH 💽 ANON!!

like i believe sam becomes a the softest person ever when it comes to his partner and will go along with whatever they want him to do because he loves them so much and just wants to see their radiant smile on their face

(i yapped too much but idk i love this so much)

YESS AHHHD im obsessed with that idea of letting his gf/partner do his skincare because he seems like the kind of guy to kinda care about it, like i feel like he'd do the bare minimum you know like wash his face and put on moisturizer but if his partner wants him to follow their skincare routine then he's all for it. i do agree with you with pretending not to like it but then you see the blissed out look on his face as you rub/massage the moisturizer in his face. and hed def be handsy with you as you stand in between his legs as he sits on the toilet so you can actually reach his face (curse his height) and his hands would def but trailing up and down your legs, grabbing your ass (you tap his cheek when you feel him squeeze your cheeks but all he does his smile at you cheekily), and resting his warm hands on your hips, his thumbs brushing the skin underneath your shirt (SOBBING RN BECAUSE I WANT THIS SOO BADD WITH HIM)

ughh yes he'd let you decorate the room since it's not like he has any experience in interior design but i feel like he'd give some of his input and has great ideas to make the space feel cozy and safe for the two of you! OBSESSED with the idea of just sam being so down bad for his partner that he'd do ANYTHING for his partner and its just aoidhf;aoudfha;u (the thought of that 6'4 man in a onesie that as a hood is so funny but heartwarming bc i can imagine that onesie not fitting him at all and its too short on him so it cuts off at his like shin)

OMMGG SAM IN A MAID OUTFIT @_@ THAT THOUGHT JUST ABOUT KILLED MEE like hladfkfjdba;oiahewfoawef'hsfdiow83r480 but i love sassy sammy and so him paired that maid outfit is giving sub/bratty sam and that's a whole other tangent ill save for later :)

no because i have a period comfort fic im writing and this is literally perfect (im gonna try and incorporate it into the fic please and thank you 💽 anon i love your brain) and he quite literally is your servant when you have your period. LOL i could def see that happening, sam giving you a bit of sass when he lowkey forgot that you were on your period and quickly corrects himself and is at your beck and call (hes fucking whipped for you so its no surprise that he almost buys out the entire store for you)

ARGHHH YESS the two of you just have a bunch of inside jokes and can make each other laugh so easily since you both have similar senses of humor and i believe with my full chest that sam is a giggler than a belly laugher but he does do both and it makes my heart soar when i hear it because we don't hear it often in the show T_T

OMG NO KEEP YAPPING TO ME 💽 ANON! I LITERALLY LOVE TO HEAR WHAT YOU COME UP WITH LIKE ITS SO GOOD AND I LOVE YAPPING ABOUT SAM 🙌🙌

[alelelesimz]

totk 100% progress ramble :D a bit long

oki so for context i finished totk last july. by then i wasn't using any guides (other than some help in certain puzzles here and there :p) and by the time i beat ganondorf i was at 66.97%! sadly i didn't take any screenshots of how many koroks i had by then but what i know is that i had already maxed out my inventory so it was around 450 or something, not too bad i think.

after this i stopped playing for a few months and this month i got back to it. i started roaming around but then decided it was time to tackle the interactive map. of course i had already finished a big chunk of the game and i didn't really want to go korok by korok checking stuff on the map, so mind you it is not very accurate lol.

here's what i have right now

completion: 84.14%

main quests: 23/23 ✔

side adventures: 60/60 ✔

shrine quests: 31/31 ✔

side quests: 128/139

memories: 18/18 ✔

hyrule compedium: 449/509

recipes: 87/228 (i haven't even started with this, it's just what i randomly have lol)

energy cells: 8/8 batteries ✔

paraglider fabrics: 24/29

koroks: 717 (including the ones i've used for inventory)

wells: 56/58

locations, armor, other stuff like that i'll add later i can't be bothered rn. here's how my interactive map is going (not the one in-game, this is stuff that i have yet to check)

NOW LISTEN

the sky is basically done, i need to check a couple of islands bc i'm not entirely sure i have those chests or not, i still have to do the hebra labyrinth and i havent fought any of the three king gleeoks bc im a coward

the surface is where i'm going the hardest. like i said, there is actually much more stuff that i have already done but i haven't checked yet bc i have to go in game and see if i've done it or not, so keep that in mind.

as you can see i already tackled the entire east of the map. i need to go back to check on a couple of hinox and talus, some gleeok that i havent been brave enough to fight (even tho i literally know how to, they're not that bad really) and yes. i'm not fucking touching lynels or gloom hands unless i absolutely have to lmao.

i'm kinda going region by region, i started at akkala and went all the way down to faron. i'm thinking of going to hebra next since that's the area i've been ignoring the most for some reason, and the few shrines i have left are all in there! so yeah.

and as for the depths, lets just say i have barely touched this map, i have explored a lot but it is still the area i have done the least. idk i just dont like being completely lost and always scared lol. but i do have to go there cause im running low on zonaite from building hover bikes to help koroks lol. i'd also like some good weapons too that'd be nice

anyways that's it thanks for reading my rant 👍 here's a funny pic

[humanoidtyphoons]

okay, i’ve mulled about my knb nitpicks, how to word them. think i’ve got it.

-i prolly rated s3 lower in part bc i initially found it underwhelming with how the show resolve kagakuro’s childhood friends that helped them with basketball?

for kagami, in general, i’m sorry i just didn’t find himuro all that likeable until the kuroko birthday episode tbh, and i wished you could have had glimpses of that sooner — in part, you can’t bc himuro has his inferiority complex with kagami, but. that leads to another issue.

i kinda wanted more with ogiwara originally? bc he turns up, and they have a phone conversation about him getting back into basketball so they’ll hopefully play against each other sincerely the next year (in a way that a was flat out impossible when it was with teikou). but i thought about while it rewatching and… ogiwara never really had the fallout like kagahimu did? his issues wasn’t with kuroko, exactly, but he wanted to play against a kuroko who enjoyed basketball—something that kuroko himself was trying to find, and would probably only get after he had succeeded in finding a way for the gom to enjoy playing basketball again too, which is something ogiwara also wanted! bc kuroko had confided in him and kept in touch with him during the teikou days, ogiwara knew how important his team meant to him. so for him to sit out the current&next year… it was fine. bc he was trying to motivate kuroko, somewhat, and kuroko found a way to succeed. and with that achieved, ogiwara can now look forward to playing against kuroko. so the conflict between them was different, and while i would have liked a smidge more of ogiwara, i don’t know if much more was actually needed?

-this is me being petty but i think i may have docked s3 for the eyecatches/team line up. i actually liked them at the midway point of the episode, but i was annoyed that it was only in s3 and not in s1&2. the fact it only happened in s3 made them grate a little even if they’re a cute idea but like… either have them in all seasons or not at all??? don’t introduce them in the last season!!!

-kagami’s side of the story is really weak. idk if it’s an adaptation choice or if it’s the case of the manga but… not an awful lot of time is spent that much with alex or himuro, so i care much less about them. but. alex, generally pretty gross, as a fan service object. i don’t know how old she is either but it doesn’t help. also himuro’s team only get one match so it’s harder to gauge growth tbh? but i enjoyed his interactions with takao, and i liked seeing kagami get on with himuro, so maybe had the flashback dragged their friendship out more, before himuro’s insecurity and bullshit promise happen, i could have rooted for it more. or shown more angst and conflict on kagami’s side, idk. but it was kinda glossed over for me.

-so yeah for me, s2 is both best (hanamiya & murasakibara) and worst (alex & himuro) season out of the three (momoi being used for fan service also not great btw)

-i think the anime would have benefited from spending a little more time not playing basketball and seeing them off court shenanigans tbh. i might have cared more for various characters (seirin & himuro) if that had been the case. you do get snippets often, but… it wasn’t enough beyond barely being serviceable. they’re cute and funny, but my investment levels are neutral tbh. like the moe couplets don’t mean much to me, bc it’s sometimes just feels as if the gom need a minder, and supposing that something similar to kurokaga is happening to the gom in their separate teams. imahana are my special guys, tho, since i got a penchant for nasty personalities and creeping people out, and the fact that these two have history, commenting on each other’s matches.

despite that. yeah, this show is a 10/10. why? bc kuroko succeeds in his goals. from the start to finish, it’s about kuroko trying to enjoy basketball again, and help his teikou teammates to enjoy basketball again. and he succeeds. and i fucking care about the gom!!! while i am ambivalent to seirin (sans kagami), i absolutely see how seirin is the team kuroko needed, so it works for kuroko, which in turn works for me. this whole thing was started by kuroko and ogiwara, even tho it’s peripheral, but it ended with them hoping to play next year, so it does feel full circle to me.

i love the gom & kagami friendships. i love the superhero sport matches. the soundtrack is awesome. i am consistently entertained.

so yeah, it was really worthwhile to rewatch and see how my feelings had changed or stayed the same.

[kingshimura4872]

Shorts with Shimura

A/N: Howdy howdy chitlins. How are we doing this fine Evening/Morning/Night? I hope all of you are drinking plenty of water and eating an adequate amount of food for the party in your tummy. (It'sareferencesomeonepleaselaugh)

So, funny story ^^;....I haven't really gotten the motivation to work on a part three/four (I'm so deadass rn, I don't even remember lmao)

B U T

I do have a load of other one shots to share with the world bc my cringe has to go somewhere lol.

So without further ado, feed my children.

Oh and smth else, for those of you that reblogged some of my things, either ask me first, give credit, or just don't please <3

__________________________________________________________

Pairing: Shigaraki Tomura x GN? Reader (They kinda get called both him and her, idk)

Word Count: 2.5k

Warnings: American Stereotyping and slander (I hate it here so I might as well take out my anger on a made of character), Barris being a creep, somewhat quick mention of being touched in an unwanted sexual or insinuating way, brief descriptions of stripping clothing at the end (It's not smut don't even try), different languages (Just Japanese and I had to use google translate instead of my yandex translator bc it would only give me kanji and fsr I REALLY didn't want kanji idk), petplay if you squint rlly hard?, Some dark themes so just don't let it get up ur ass if I ruin your mood lmao

Think that's it, if I missed anything, shoot me a comment or dm and I'll do my best to fix it asap.

__________________________________________________________

“And what makes me think you’d pose a threat? I don’t think you’re in the right place to be making demands.” 

Shigaraki sat unphased. His blood red eyes bored into the skull of a new pompous problem. The bastard, while annoying as all hell, was a somewhat important asset to his current objective. He’d already become the leader of the Paranormal Liberation Front, but now he wanted to move international. So here stood his next step. The leader of a quite well known villain organization from the United States in North America. He knew that if he could get this man on his side, he’d have no problem getting the two other countries that sat on the continent as well. But for the love of God, were these Americans so full of it. He’d barely gotten a proper word in comparison to the other male, who’d been talking almost the entire time. Americans sure knew how to run their mouths like they owned the world. 

   “Well, I am the one that invited you here. And right under the authorities' noses at that. No one knows you’re here and we could so easily change that fact if you wish to keep rubbing your nose in what you have no business knowing.” The scarred individual finally sighed, standing up from his chair. This empty ‘office’ room was quite stuffy, most likely from the pure stench this American was exuding. Americans should learn to properly bathe themselves before getting on such a high horse. He thought to himself, walking around the chair and leaning an elbow on the back of it. 

   “I personally have a trained hitman at my beck and call, ready to do whatever I order it to. Where’s your protection, Mr. American?” A smug grin spread across his face as the American man became very easily irate.

   “I have plenty of protection, guns cocked and ready to blaze if you so much as let a hair fall out of place!” He spat, actual saliva flying around and landing on various surfaces. Shigaraki tsked at the man for getting so angered at a simple pointer, almost as if he was scolding a child. 

   “This is tiresome back and forth with you, Mr. Barris. We can either talk out our reasoning for being here in the first place like adults, or I can order my soldiers to kill you before any of them have time to take the safety off their weapons.” Shigaraki scoffed, getting increasingly impatient. Both men quickly changed their tune, Shigaraki sitting back down and the American pulling out a file from his briefcase.

   “What do you want in this exchange, Mr. Shigaraki?” The American spoke first, crossing his arms.

   “I simply want everything you and your group’s services can offer. I’m not a fan of only leading Japan anymore. I wish to move elsewhere and if you and I can work out a deal, I’ll have less of a headache getting others to agree. You do have quite the influence afterall.”

This seemed to mull over well with the man as a smug expression was now plastered all over his sweaty face. 

   “I do indeed, don’t I?” Shigaraki nodded stiffly. He despised stroking people’s egos. It annoyed him to no end, but ever since taking full control of himself and killing All For One himself, he had to pick up the slack his master had originally done. This included finding powerful allies and working towards a stronger army. He bit his tongue in order to not spew something idiotic that would work poorly for him as the American once again began talking about himself and his underground empire. He had a main goal for this new alliance. He understood that Americans were good at three things. Being full of themselves all the time, strong weapons, and drugs. The yakuza group Overhaul had built was good, but it relied on the quirk of an incredibly young girl and once that girl had been taken, he knew they were doomed to fall no matter how that end came. He found the quirk erasing drugs quite interesting and knew if anyone could capitalize on that, it was him. Money was no longer an object and he was willing to throw whatever the stupid American wanted to get his hands on that kind of technology. He wanted it. And when he wanted something, he got it. Every. Single. Time.

   “We’re willing to do just about anything to work around your wants. Name your price, Mr. Barris.” 

   “Straight to the point I see. Your English may be good, but Japanese people are always the same. Never a fan of small talk. What happened to civil liberties? You should get to know me first before tossing money on the table.” Barris laughed out, his posture visibly relaxing. Good. 

   “I apologize.” Shigaraki forced a chuckle. “I simply want to get it out in the air so we can get out of each other’s hair as fast as possible. We’re both very busy men, you know.”

   “Ain’t that the damn truth.” Barris laughed again, slapping his knee in the process. Shigaraki stifled a laugh. They really DO do that.

   “Anyways. Small pleasantries aside. What is it that you’d like to gain from this exchange?”

   “Hm.” Barris looked down at the folder in front of him, opening it and pulling out a few papers. “Well, you did have a good idea with offering money. But we also want numbers of another calibur.”

   “And that’d be?”

   “We want some of those ‘nomus’ y’all have. And people who are good at making more. We’ve seen what those beasts can do, and I think it’d be fun to have a couple of our own. We can use it for testing and such. Along with this.” He slid a small piece of cardstock with something written on it. It was amusing to Shigaraki. It was like those crappy American movies to the T. Sliding the price they wanted over with a piece of paper during an exchange. It was almost humoring. He picked up the cardstock, looking at the price. It was outrageous for what he was getting in return, but he did need this deal.

   “Fine. Would you like it in full?”

   “Not necessary. Take your time with the payment, but I do request we get the entire amount within the next calendar year.”

   “Fair enough.”

The two stood up and shook hands. Barris wasn’t afraid of touching the villain, as he was wearing two fingered gloves. Something someone had to convince him to do during this endeavor. But he wouldn’t disclose that information to anyone. 

   “There is one more thing I’d like to ask of you. It’s more of a personal preference.” Barris dropped, smiling as he sunk his hands into his suit pockets.

   “And what would that be?”

   “I heard from a little bee that you’ve gotten one of mine under your command. I’d like to see them.”

Shigaraki’s eye twitched and he scowled a bit. “And who would this ‘little bee’ happen to be?”

   “No one you need to concern yourself with. I simply want to see if I know them personally. I wasn’t told who they were, but I was told they were American like myself, so I’d like to meet them.” Barris explained.

I’ll kill whoever told this scum about him. Shigaraki told himself as he sighed. He wasn’t really in the position to deny many requests from the man, as he could just as easily take back his agreement to the offer. 

   “Fine. But only for a moment. I like to keep him busy.” He hummed, taking a step back from the table. He brought two fingers to his mouth and whistled rather loudly, Barris tipping his head to the side in confusion. Was this American not human or something? In the blink of an eye, a new figure appeared at the villain’s side, cloaked in a black uniform and kitsune kabuki mask obscuring their face. Two blades clung to their back and strapped to each thigh was an OTs-33 Pernach, most likely already loaded and ready to fire at will. The blades in question were matching Tachi words, jet black and blood red stained leather woven in an intricate pattern on each handle and an antique tsuba created by Sunagawa Masayoshi sat snugly between the razor sharp blades and the handles. 

   “Sir.” You spoke, bowing to Shigaraki. He looked at you blankly.

   “Kneel” Was all he said. And you did without hesitation, kneeling on one knee and a hand lay flat on the cold tile flooring of the room. He reached a hand down, gently grasping your chin and lifting your gaze to meet his. He seemed pleased with himself.

   “Mask.”

Without question, you unclasped the straps that sat on the back of your head with a soft click, pulling your kabuki mask off and giving it to him. “Stand.” You did. Barris met your frame with another mask, this time only covering your nose and mouth, however your neck length hair came with fluffy bangs that covered your eyes well enough.

“Kochira wa Barisudesu. Anata ga tsurete kuru yō ni meiji rareta amerikahitodesu. Anata wa futari tomo amerikahitonanode, kare wa anata ni chokusetsu aitai to omotte imasu. Kare wa anata no koto o shitte iru kamo shirenai to omotte imasu.”

   (This is Barris. The American you were ordered to bring. He wishes to see you in person since you’re both American. Thinks he might know you.)

You nodded and glanced at the man.

   "Kare ga nani o hakidasoutomo, anata wa watashi no monodeari tsuzukeru deshou. Kare wa kimochi waruinode, dekirudakehayaku watashi no me kara kiete hoshīdesu. Kare o koko kara tsuredasu tame ni dekiru kagiri no koto o shite kudasai, shikashi oboete oite kudasai..” He grasped your chin again, pulling you a bit closer to him. “Anata wa watashi no monodesu.”

   (You will remain mine, no matter what he spews. He’s disgusting and I want him out of my sight as soon as possible. Do what you can to get him out of here, but remember…. You belong to me.)

You nodded again, and turned to the man.

   “Quite the mouthful he said.” Barris chuckled. “Makes me wonder what he’s saying about me.”

   “Permission to speak freely, sir?” You asked.

   “Granted.” Shigaraki replied.

   “I was only informed that it was you I was ordered with transporting here. I was wondering who was so important that it required my services.” You hummed, walking around the table.

   “Shigoto o kichinto yareba, go hōbi o ageru yo, kitsune.” Shigaraki added, walking around the other side of the table to leave the room.

   “Hai.” 

When he shut the door behind him, Barris wasted no time, putting his hands on your body. You wanted to slither away from his grimey touch, but you knew this was the best way to get him where you both wanted him.

   “I heard you were one of mine, and I just had to see if I knew you personally, doll.” He remarked, one of his hands sliding down your side and resting just above your hip. You did your best to hide a grimace, hoping it didn’t show through the mask as you slowly snaked your hands up his arms.

   “I don’t think I worked for you, Mr. Barris. I would definitely remember working for a man such as yourself.” You sang, twirling yourself out of his grasp and slipping onto the table. You crossed a leg over the other and sat your hands on the edges of the table for support. You looked open, inviting, weak. And that was exactly what you were aiming for. Men like him loved weak people. They loved preying on anyone they perceived as having weak minds and melding them to bend at their will. You were all too familiar with his kind. It sickened you that he thought you’d break so easily. You devoted your life to one man and one man only. And no scum like this was going to make you so much as blink in the other direction. 

   “Is that so? And what kind of man do you take me for?” He grinned. You were stroking his ego more by the second. 

   “Powerful. Commanding. A man who knows what he wants and how to get it.” A man who wouldn’t know left from right if it was tattooed on his hands. You thought.

.

.

.

You shut the door to the unmarked black car as the window rolled down.

   “I do look forward to working with you, doll.” Barris smiled, taking your hand and kissing it slowly. You smiled sweetly to him under the mask, knowing he could see it. 

   “As do I, Mr. Barris. Nice to have another American around.”

He let out a hearty laugh, letting your hand go and glancing at Shigaraki who’d been standing a bit behind you.

   “I look forward to business, Mr. Shigaraki.” 

   “Mm. Likewise.” They both nodded to each other and shook hands before you waved lightly to the driver. The window rolled back up as the vehicle drove off. Your smile stayed only until the car turned a corner, to which you immediately grimaced openly. Shigaraki took you back inside to a different room - his private quarters in this particular building - and grabbed a few alcohol wipes for you. You quickly took one and rubbed it against both your hands, taking time to wipe every inch of the uniform he’d laid his grimy hands on.

   “I take it, your…talk with him, went well then?” The man asked, leaning against a small table near the corner of the room.

   “Ugh, he was putrid. I could practically TASTE how bad he smelled. Can’t believe I was born in the same place as him.” You keened. Your body shivered at the mere thought of him touching you again and you quickly rid yourself of your accessories. You placed them on one of the shelves the room had and huffed.

   “We should bathe you. Who knows what kind of germs he had.” Shigaraki jested, but you quickly took the invite, shedding your clothing one piece at a time. He was a bit surprised at your eagerness, but went with it nonetheless, guiding you to the bathroom and starting the water.

   “Ugh, I forgot how touchy Americans are. Here, you wouldn’t even think to touch a stranger so nonchalantly. 

He fixed the temperature, shedding his own garments and helping you with what you had left.

   “And to think, we have to work with him now, it disgusts me. He was so full of himself, I thought he might explode from how big his head was.” 

You continued to rant as you brainlessly followed your leader’s movements into the now full tub of hot water. The second you were seated on top of him, you were pulled back to the present.

   “Oh. You didn’t have to waste your time getting in with me.” You said in a quieter tone.

   “Eh. Two birds with one stone. I had to touch him too, not sure if whatever he has can spread from the contact area.” He joked. You couldn’t hold yourself back from a small laugh, covering your mouth as he pulled your back flat against his chest.

[edelthea]

What are some Edelthea fics you recommend/are your favourites?

Hi! I'm not an avid fanfic reader anymore these days so I had to go through my bookmarks for this and... skim bc my memory is terrible. I'm pretty sure I've missed some great ones out there...but here are some of my personal faves, hehe. wow i have so many. Also! If you or anyone wants to recommend fics, feel free to send them!

Except the first one, all of these are one shots!

Five Kisses from a Commoner, One from the Emperor by Metal_Gear_XANA 》 5+1 fic. mostly pre-ts. it's so sweet 🥺 ugh, idiots.

Feed Me by Carrogath 》 post-ts. the TENSION... the complications... the dilly dallying.

let me in by zzzubat 》 pre-ts. banter 🥺 and dorothea stays until edelgard falls asleep.

The first seconds of forever by Lovelettersinjune 》 pre/post-ts. i think i cried reading this one.

hands touching hands by serialpastry 》 pre-ts. edelgard is pining so hard she bared her heart.

love is a fragile word by torchsong (brella) 》 post-ts. i think i also cried reading this one.

all my verses are about you by lovemotions 》 post-ts. i cry a lot reading edelthea fics in general, i think.

Bedside Manner by ConstellationStation 》 au. rebel leader edelgard nursed back to health by a civilian (dorothea). oh, this tugged at my heart and is very sweet.

it's grand, just holding your hand by sinnohan 》 post-ts. this one's sweet too and funny, idk.

We'll Be Good in Another Life by nunwithgun 》 reincarnation au. 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 (i cried to this one too)

The Color of Sunrise by chorbits 》 post-ts. the management is a crybaby, leave me alone.

proscenium (n.) by qwertyuiop678 》 edelthea dancing before, during, and after the war. surprise, i teared up reading this one.

something borrowed by strawberrybird 》 pre/post-ts. 5+1 fic. yes, i teared up at every single one of these fics.

responsibilities by FallenCiatokins 》 post-canon. ferdibert cameo and they're visiting edelthea who turned their home into an orphanage <3

Devotion by MirrorMystic (NSFW) 》 post-ts. sacrilegious(?) devotion, my beloved. they banged in the cathedral. also the dialogue... <3

das Schicksal by JinjoJess (NSFW) 》 post-ts. marriage anniversary and stuff ensues. DDKJFF i live for misunderstandings like this.

Ok, these ones below, I'm not actually done reading but I really recommend them because they're so good and I love it so far. These are multichaptered fics:

embracing death by avalonkin 》 w3h ag route. you know. that one exchange between them. edelgard did drag dorothea back home.

sweets to the sweet, farewell by badkids (NSFW) 》 1800s summer romance au. URGH... the emotions...

red to the thorns by signalbeam (NSFW) 》 pre/post-ts. porn with feelings and will GUT you unprovoked. revolves around their complicated relationship.

[mechanicalchemical]

hollow knight. you thought i would ask fish game? wrong. bug game.

this is really funny bc i barely touch hk anymore but ill still try

favorite character - if it was 2021 i could tell u <3 the first one that came to my mind was Grimmchild but i have more overall favs like uuuhh Marmu and Ogrim and Grimm and Brumm and Quirrel thats all i can remember off the top of my head

second favorite - im gonna be real idk i develop a pool of favs and then just dont have second favorites

least favorite - off the top of my head u would have to hold me at gunpoint to try to remember anyone other than Pale King or Zote

character im most like - i havent played since like. 2021. i dont know <3 i dont think im good at this question specifically

favorite pairing - idk if i had one in the first place. shoutout to Sheo and Nailsmith tho

least favorite pairing - idk <3

favorite moment - thats tough actually but i enjoyed entering greenpath for the first time and that one spot in city of tears where the music really swells or something and the flashback(?) scene right before/after getting the uuuh void badge whatever it is yknow the scene w small Hallow looking over at u that whole thing

rating out of 10 - 8/10 :3 it's neat but in my humble opinion theres too much like. doom and gloom. not everything needs a happy ending and i know that but theres not much of a balance at least thats what i remember even if it's a sad post(?) apocalyptic thing. doesnt mean it's bad. i know theres some happy and goofy moments but to me the balance is like a pillow vs 3 cinder blocks yknow

[agapintheskin]

i one hundred percent get where you're coming from and understand completely how it is. i turned 31 in may and i've been set on remaining single for the rest of my life probably since i was 28. tbh, since i was about 15 years old, i was convinced i was going to die before i turned 25 so i didn't have a whole lot of plans for my life between that time. the last time somebody ever showed an interest in me was when i was in 7th grade, a guy i liked asked me out in front of our entire science class and, me convinced it was a joke and he was doing it to make fun of me (even though he honestly wasn't all that attractive but he was funny and played the saxophone) bc i was bullied pretty regularly, i turned him down before running off to tell my best friend at the time that somebody asked me out and her immediate response was to look at me funny before laughing in my face.

but like, about 90% of the time, i am 100% okay with being single for the rest of my life. i'm at a point where i just don't see any value in maintaining that kind of relationship, i like being alone too much, i don't want to change my daily routine, and i don't want somebody that's supposed to be my equal trying to dictate how i live my life. i'd have higher standards for somebody i'd consider dating but i also am really afraid of men (stemming from childhood trauma). i have both physical and mental handicaps that would make going on any sort of fun date basically impossible for me. i also really don't like leaving my house very often. i haven't even seen my two best friends in 12 years, i barely even talk to them to the point where i don't even think they consider us friends anymore... just acquaintances. but i have my mom and i have my dogs, sometimes we see my mom's friends around town and that's enough socializing for me.

there really is nothing wrong with being single, not wanting to date anybody, not having very many close friends irl because lbr, you can make friends online and they're just as important as irl friends.

Not to be that person but

I 100% get that. I do. And idk if I COULD, was there ever gonna be a potential relationship, have someone actually be with me for the entirety of my life. And I 100% believe that there are people, like you, who are fully able to live that way and be happy and fulfilled. Absolutely. But I don't think I can. And that's the issue. I too always thought I could because it is so damn hard for me to be close to people, physical touch alone is so hard for me and talking to people about feelings and actually being open and intimate (not sexual) is so so so hard for me but I do need and want all that. Even if I wish I didn't because it's not something that's in my cards.

I appreciate you writing all this to me, all the love to you. My point was not to say that there isn't any fulfillment in your way of living, I just learned that there isn't fulfillment in it for me personally.

Kisses to you and your doggos and your mom!

[aibloomie]

HAHA idk how it happened honestly??? my brother has always had black hair, but i started with kinda.. strawberry blonde? then i slowly transitioned to having black hair

the kids in my elementary school made fun of me for my kool aid hair 😭

thank you!!! maybe one day i’ll do it….

yes thats what i mean, dealing with bleached hair seems so hard 😭😭😭💔

weee that sounds so cool!!!! curtain bangs are so pretty honestly

ok ok storytime

so i had a crush on this girl for like a long time, we were really good friends. she was like,, nice, funny, loud and extroverted. we were pretty close, so we would hang out almost everyday and like we would share drinks, hold hands and stuff like that!!!

im not a super physically affectionate person but she LOVES physical affection, so she would be the one to kinda initiate that type of stuff but i never minded it

like once i was sitting down and she practically sat on my lap LMAOO i was rlly flustered 💀

but recently i moved to australia, so i had to leave her (we still talk tho!!)

and like, we were never super serious/sappy types? we would always joke around with each other and bully each other playfully. but on my last day, she gave me a letter that was just genuinely rlly heartfelt and it made me cry 😭😭⁉️ so i went up to her and i didnt rlly know what to say. but like after a few moments i just hugged her really tightly (and this is pretty big bcs i don’t initiate affection much) and she hugged me back and told me everything was gonna be alright (also big bcs she barely ever speaks seriously or like not in a jokey tone)

BUT IDK the story just kinda sounded like a movie to me LMAO

WHAT THAT'S SO COOL THOUGH 😰 it's kind of like eyes how babies sometimes have light irises and then once they get older their eyes are so much darker it's crazy

the kids at your elementary school were just jealous of you 🙄 you were too cool for them okay KSHDJS

HELP it is hard </3 if you want to go through with it at any point in your lifetime make sure you're able to get good hair products to take care of it

and omg?? A LOVE STORY

that's so cute !! that she was so affectionate towards you and it didn't bother you at all despite not being an affectionate person, LIKE THAT DYNAMIC IS SO <33

she sat on your lap 😧 how did you manage to compose yourself and not die

I hope that your time in australia so far has been really fun and enjoyable !! I'm glad that the two of you still keep in touch <3

AND THAT LAST PART PLEASE WHY DO I ACTUALLY FEEL LIKE CRYING 😭 that's just so sweet the fact the two of you expressed yourselves to each other in a form you rarely do. the reassurance in general </3

you did keep the letter right? :0

that literally does sound like a movie, you could probably film and direct it AND end up breaking the audience's heart with the end but also leave them really happy because your experience was so cute and you guys still talk OMG

[imjustgonnadotherapybymyselfok]

My mom called just now upset to let me know she fell a week ago and hit her head.

Didn’t tell me.

Went about her week doing whatever, got dizzy once when she bent over (who tf doesn’t).

Didn’t tell me

Asked me how I was feeling this morning which means she wants me to do something for her (move a bed for reasons I still don’t get, but they’re not important to my life so I let them go and agreed to move the bed).

Still didn’t tell me about the goose egg on her head.

Called me just now at. five til five. on a Friday. In tears to say that her neighbor came over and says in addition to the goose egg her neck is bruised. and she (my mother) has decided she needs to go to the emergency room right now (she lives an hour away from me idk how far from an er, the sun is setting and I can’t see in the dark)

I’m like, gently as I can at the end of my actually productive day after just having eating dinner (about to get the after meal zombie brain any minute) say, after she is like !I just don’t know what to do! Well mom let’s call the nurses line ✨ (as one who has had regular insurance on an off for a lot of years that’s a thing ppl do so they can probably tell her if it’s been a week and your ok you’re prob ok go to your doctor on Monday, or yeah go to the er dummy)

and she’s like Medicare doesn’t do that idk what it is even

so I try to find the line for her and there actually is not one (I kind of get it old ppl would call to chat)

and she has texted me alreadythat her friend in Venice (who is probably this republican fuck who she says touches her tits “in a harmless funny way” whose fingers I’m gonna have to break eventually) is gonna take her instead ❤️ (red hearts don’t mean love they mean I’m mad but won’t say it)

So now I’m just full of cortisol, glad I’m not in the emergency room with my insane mother, but also smeared with guilt

Just covered in it

Should I just go?

That’s what a good daughter would do?

But I have hit my wall for the day and to go tend to this non situation that will undoubtedly result in me getting yelled at (even if I am perfect) and will probably also result in me being in bed recovering for a week

If she told me when she hit her head I would have dropped whatever I was doing to come get her

Duh

This is one week later at five o’clock on a Friday and she lives one hour away and I can’t see in the dark I can barely see to drive in the light any more

This is absolutely a lesson sent by the universe

I was literally listening to adult children of immature parents at the part where it is teaching you how to behave right (or that you can never behave right enough so what are you bothering for) and I was like I am so gonna behave right (bc I am a fool) but I was not prepared for a week old injury

I did not pass the test today 🎶

ugh way to just rub my face in it uni 😭🫠

[tamarakkoarchive]

FE:3H livetweet thread (1/3)

i'm familiar w advance wars so it's not new grounds gameplay-wise to me but i still turned off the permanent death thing because well. this sure seems an annoying as hell feature

~

after spending almost a year playing nothing but smtiva this will be my palate cleanser for a wh- oh god damnnit

~

fond of this closer-to-how-an-irl-foreigner-speaks syntax approach rather than making the character speak like a caveman or just say random words in their own language

~

the eng VAs are honestly good and often give a special touch to some characters but i ended up muting the voices fast bc games using them in every existing text box makes me dizzy

~

actually nvm comparing it to AW, calendar system w rpg jobs is the actual cursed deal here lol wondering the margin of error before i get permanently fucked

~

set everyone to wear the uniform properly to please my ocd

~

i can't help but get irked by characters going overboard on being stylish in settings that wouldn't make sense, act like the church pawns you are!!!

~

slurp

~

me: hm so tea time is probably the equivalent to that swsh curry thing 3H: would you like to zoom and observe me: huh caspar: *gives me the horniest look* me: ?????????????????????????????

~

can you refuse romancing a character like in p5 or are you locked into the first mf that you are nice to... oh my god... sorry caspar you were the primary reason i bought this game but i refuse to betray my class and go yumejo even if it's you

~

the other day i saw someone commenting that mixing dating sim with other game genres leds to the downfall of not exceeding in any (obviously implying FE and persona) and like, i think you can perfectly dislike this mix for what it represents and what appeals to regarding these franchises but strictly gameplay-wise i think it's very old man yelling at cloud opinion to get mad inherently at the mix of genres lol.

for smt i personally don't feel the need of big breaks between character interactions and the rpg aspect bc the battles are short (and actually, the demon negotiations are by themselves them lol) so i'm meh for persona but for this flavor of strategy game where you can take a whole hour on a mission i think it's pretty natural to wanting to have smth else mixed to make it less heavy on the player. i'm finding myself surprised at how long i can stay playing this per session compared to AW

~

the story progression is kinda… idk the word we barely know anything abt the cast or what the story is going to be abt and edelgard trauma dumps her whole life in the first alone night w byleth and says edgy stuff out of nowhere like girl? i just learned to fish the other day?

~

~

pretty fond of krabappel

~

ive been trying not to pay 2 much attention to it but i don't rly see the point of showing byleth's reactions and making her speak so much considering she has the personality of a dry wall lol it adds nothing to the scenes and just breaks the silent mc immersion

~

~

3H: commoners are plagued by structural racism which also happens to have a lot of dark skinned ppl in It me: well yeah 3H: it's bc nobles are inherently born w dangerous magical abilities so leadership naturally falls to them me:

~

pretty funny to see a character in the wild and remember "oh yeah. this guy. one of the 3 gay choices for the male mc where it's onesided"

~

annette watch out!!!! a male version of me somewhere might be fucking your father!!!!!

~

girl it's one thing to teach but now asking me to pick up trash like excuse me?????

~

boy, forget flayn. dive into my chest right now

~

oneeshota church achieved

~

now THAT'S what i'm talking about

~

just like irl high school

~

byleth sadly staring at her feet from the thought that she has only attracted genocidal women and boys with no pubic hair

~

[aroacesigma]

okok i like just barely started playing mahoyaku (promise of wizard) its. a game! with a lore! <- entirely clueless and lost

but yeah its only available in japan and my japanese is. Bad. so i barely know whats going but !! owen !!

he's. he's a little bastard man there's no better way to describe him. his soul is separate from his body so he can revive any time he dies but he still feels the pain of dying, and ig when he was younger he was like... trapped? somewhere? and he like constantly died and was revived a ton for like A Very Long Time (most characters in the game are like. 1000+ years old) so he's got Some Shit Going On. he was like. accidentally? freed? and then just kinda fucked off somewhere for awhile. he's very like... he doesn't say what he means ever and is just very very like... harsh? bc he just assumes everyone will hate him by default so he wants to make it easier for them to. but he's polite abt it which is so fucking funny like my guy wtf. but yeah he's v manipulative and likes seeing people suffer. and also feeds off of negative emotions which literally replenish his mana like. owen why are you like this.

but yeah he's a stinky bastard man and actively likes to cause problems on purpose. but also he really likes sweets and desserts and can talk to animals so he's like not all bad.

also as a result of some kind of calamity thing idk a lot of the older wizards have some sort of like. injury? like cain can't see anyone unless he touches them first (except owen. i'll get to that.), oz falls asleep when he does magic, murr's soul was fragmented which made his entire personality change and become pretty much dependent on shylock, bradley teleports when he sneezes, stuff like that. and owen's is that his personality will like. randomly swap back to when he was a child (at least that's the most common speculation) and he's super attached to cain in that state its kinda funny bc cain has no fuckin idea what to do with him.

also at one point owen swapped one of his eyes for one of cain's so both of them have one red (owen's eye color) and one golden (cain's) eye. cain vowed he'd get his other eye back from owen someday but also does not give a shit and has barely done anything towards it its kinda funny. and in fact actually kinda bonds with owen as the story goes on i guess. bc owen's just a fucked up little guy. and that's why cain can see owen all the time. bc he has one of his eyes. lmao.

oh also this is cain. he's a knight guy. silly dude. he usually hides his red eye under his hair but i specifically picked a cg where you can see it <3 get fucked cain

also there was one card set where owen and cain have both their normal eyes so here's owen without one of cain's eyes bc he's sooo. ough. stupid limited gacha that ran in 2021 i want this goddamn card. scratching the walls

he sounds SO COOL i am glad ur having fun with this he sounds like the perfect little guy to go insane over . i love his design so much sahgjkdsfhds

[esoraluco]

The WIPs.. 

As you can clearly see. I am messy and do bgs without any persp at all even during sketching, and instead do them through sheer violence

[here2bbtstrash]

compromise (explicit)

genre: twilight AU, straight-up cracky-ass porn, do not look @ me

pairing: vampire!taehyung x human!reader x werewolf!jungkook

summary: you're torn between the two loves of your life - but maybe you don't have to choose.

word count: 10k 😬

contains: explicit sexual content~*~ no seriously like i wrote this with my dick it is EXCLUSIVELY twilight-flavored porn sdhfjdkgsdf - taehyung is a vampire, jungkook is a werewolf, reader is in love with both of them, they can't stand each other, yktfv !!!! this is actually an incredibly poorly negotiated threesome, so uh, don't do it like this kids!!!!! just enjoy the filth 🫡 which specifically contains: a m/m/f threesome ft. mid-sex jealousy lol, biting, nipple play, clit stim and fingering, clit biting 💀, cunnilingus, spitting, neck.... licking?, a lot of body temperature descriptions bc we're sticking to steph's hot/cold lore bc i think it's funny idk, blowjobs/throat fucking, spit-roasting, first times, unprotected sex, some mildly improbable sex positions because they both have superhuman strength lmfao, a smidge of dirty talk/praise kink, ass play, anal sex, good ol' DP, annnnnd the grand finale: neck-biting and blood-drinking 🤭 also tae and jk throw "slurs" like 'leech' and 'dog' at each other the whole time sdfsdfjkf 💜

A/N: SURPRISE! AND HAPPY HALLOWEEN! I WILL NOT BE EXPLAINING MYSELF BUT UHHHH ENJOY SOME NONSENSE!!!!

thank you to @haliiimede for the incredible banner 🥺

read on AO3!

~*~

You’ve been on edge all evening, watching, waiting.

As the sun slips below the horizon and reddens the sky on its departure, you try not to read it as an omen of what’s to come. Night pours out black like it always does, dark blanketing the lush green outside your bedroom window, but your stomach refuses to untwist.

Not even the touch of Taehyung’s hand can settle your nerves, despite how familiar it is, cold as ice, hard as marble. He’d climbed in your window at dusk, the way he’s done every night for months now, but tonight the air between you is heavy. Tonight you can barely look at him.

“Jagiya,” his hundred-year-old voice drips, sweet like honey, rich like blood in the quiet of your room. “What’s wrong?”

You haven’t even opened your mouth to answer when his head snaps up, clearly alerted by some sound your weak human ears have yet to pick up on.

Right on time, then.

“Tae,” you murmur softly, bringing one hand up to cup his cheek. Your thumb strokes lovingly over the flawless perfection of his face as your human eyes meet his: rich ochre, deep enough to drown in. He’s well-fed; you made sure that would be the case when you planned this. You need every possible element on your side tonight.

He cuts you off with a growl before you can say more than his name. “Why is that dog here?”

The word spat through his clenched teeth sends a fresh wave of anxiety spiraling through your bloodstream. “Please don’t call him that, Tae.” Your voice is barely more than a whisper. “He’s my best friend. I wanted the three of us to talk.”

You realize you can hear it now, coming up the road: the distant but unmistakable rattle of Jungkook’s motorcycle. It draws closer and closer, until it’s underscored by the crunch of gravel as he pulls into the driveway. When Jungkook finally kills the engine, the silence in your bedroom feels loud.

Taehyung doesn’t speak, but you can tell he’s furious, every muscle in his body pulled tight. His hands curl into fists, flexing restlessly at his sides, and even the well-defined line of his jaw jumps like he’s holding back the urge to tear something apart.

You do the only thing you can think of to calm your boyfriend: you take his face in your hands and pull him in for a deep kiss.

As your lips touch, it finally sinks in: how scared you are about tonight– you’re shaking like a leaf in Taehyung’s arms, even though you know he’d never hurt you. At least not purposefully.

The heat of your mouth seems to distract Taehyung a little, but there’s still fury in his kiss, in the soft growls that he can’t quite suppress as his tongue rolls over yours.

Your bedroom door creaks on its hinges, and you pull away from Taehyung just in time to see a bright smile drop off Jungkook’s face as he stands in the threshold. Your heart plummets into your stomach. Three seconds in and you’ve already ruined everything. How very human of you.

Moving an inch back from Taehyung, you unwind your arms from around his neck and try to regard both of them at once. This conversation suddenly feels much harder to navigate than you’d anticipated.

“Hi, Jungkook,” you say softly. Your best friend is practically glowering in the doorway now.

“I thought you wanted to talk. I don’t need to see him turn you. Or suck your soul out, or whatever.”

You try to stay calm, because someone has to. “It was just a kiss, Jungkook. I meant it, I do want to talk.” Your gaze flits from Jungkook to Taehyung. “To both of you.” As your eyes find Jungkook’s again, you pat the bedspread on your other side. “Will you come sit down?”

Taehyung makes a noise so otherworldly that chills rip up your spine, enough to make you shiver. “He’s fine where he is.”

“Tae,” you turn back to him, your face twisted with emotion. “Please.”

Jungkook crosses into the room with an unhurried confidence despite the slight hesitation in his steps, as if he’s preparing for your boyfriend to lunge at any moment but sure he’d win the fight. To your surprise, he doesn’t follow the path you’d indicated to join you and Taehyung. Instead, he moves to stand in front of you at the foot of the bed, and then–

Your jaw drops as Jungkook, still slow, still confident, sinks to his knees in front of you and Taehyung.

“How’s this?”

“Swearing your loyalty, mutt?” Taehyung snaps.

Jungkook doesn’t even look at him. “Not to you.”

“Thank you, Jungkook,” you murmur softly. “And thank you for coming here. And I’m sorry I haven’t told either of you why.”

“You didn’t even tell me he was coming!” Taehyung interjects, indignant, and you sigh.

“You’re right. And I should have. But you can see why I was scared to, right? I didn’t think either of you would agree if you knew you’d be in the same room.”

They both shrug a little, like they can’t argue with that.

It all starts to well up in your chest before you can focus on remaining rational, the way you’d planned to. The emotions, the pain. Your very human weaknesses.

“I don’t think you two realize how hard this is for me. How hard it is that you feel the way you do about each other,” you begin. “Neither of you can know what it’s like to wake up and feel like you’re being torn in half. But that’s every day for me.”

Jungkook tries to say your name, but falls quiet again when you shake your head.

“It doesn’t feel fair. Any of this. It’s not fair that you’re both…” you pause, searching for the word. “…superhuman, something I may never understand. It’s not fair that I love you both, in such different but equally strong ways, so much sometimes that it feels like my heart might give out. And it’s not fair that you hate each other. That you can’t even be in the same room.”

Taehyung’s icy touch on your skin makes you shiver, and you realize he’s wiping away errant tears that have started to roll down your face.

“And it’s not fair,” you continue, “that you expect me to choose. That there’s supposed to be an answer here. I’ve nearly lost each of you trying to figure it out. So my choice is that I won’t choose. I don’t want either of you if I can’t have both of you.”

“What?!” Taehyung’s eyes flash when he pulls back, as quickly as if you’d just slapped him.

“Listen to me,” you command, your voice laced with determination now. “Taehyung. I love you. You are my soulmate. My person. I want to spend the rest of our lives with you.” You sniff a little, taking a big breath in, and your chest shakes as you let it out again. “But all of that is also true of Jungkook. And I’m tired of pretending it’s not.”

Taehyung blinks, dazed, like he can't believe what you’re saying. When you glance down at Jungkook, still knelt on the floor, a smile is ghosting over his mouth.

“That leech really didn’t understand our bond, huh?” Jungkook asks softly, as if only you can hear the question. “Didn’t understand that I was the one who was there for you, who picked up the pieces when he fucked off to Paris to—”

“Jungkook,” you cut him off, your tone a warning. “Stop. This goes both ways. I love you, but you also need to understand that my feelings for Taehyung are just as strong. That’s not changing even though we’ve hurt each other. We’ve all hurt each other.”

Jungkook falls silent again, and you turn your gaze back to Taehyung. Your heart aches at the unmistakable betrayal you see in his eyes.

“Taehyung,” you breathe. “Please. I can’t be without you. Without either of you. I’m just asking you to try. For me.”

“Well, I don’t need to mull it over.” Before you have a chance to react to his words, Jungkook surges up and kisses you hard on the mouth, and you make a soft noise of surprise against his lips.

You know you should pull away and tell him to stop, but Jungkook’s touch is warm enough to melt, and you lose your focus as your whole world is knocked entirely off-axis. Your head spins when his tongue traces over your bottom lip, and it’s suddenly hard to think about anything else.

Taehyung growls, low in his throat, like the distant rumble of thunder. It’s enough to drag you back, and you break the kiss with a gasp.

As if he can read the expression on your face, Jungkook wordlessly drops down onto the bed on the other side of you. You slide a hand over the firm muscles of his thigh, giving him a reassuring squeeze before turning to face your boyfriend.

Taehyung’s gaze traces over the floorboards, and it’s clear a thousand thoughts are running through his mind, thoughts you wish you could hear for yourself.

“Please hear me, Tae,” you try again, your voice low. “I want you. All of you. Intimately. I know you want that too.” The subject makes his gaze snap up, and you reach for him, a desperate attempt to try and keep him with you.

When you grab Taehyung’s hand, his ice-cold skin is a shock compared to the heat of Jungkook’s body under your other palm. But it’s familiar, it’s comforting, the touch of this man, whom you love so intensely that it terrifies you.

“And I know you’ve been scared to try. Scared of yourself and what might happen,” you continue, and Taehyung nods slowly, his eyes searching yours. “But… maybe this is it. Doesn’t it make sense? If Jungkook is here, it might be easier for you to stay in control with me.”

“And I can protect her if you don’t,” Jungkook adds with a smirk.

“So please, Taehyung.”

He stares at you, and you stare back, waiting for his answer. It finally comes in his husky voice, spoken as reverently as a prayer.

“I would do anything for you.”

The admission is chased by his hand at the back of your neck, pulling you in for a fierce kiss. You’re so relieved that you feel yourself near the verge of tears again, despite the icy thrill that dots up your spine as his mouth moves against yours. Taehyung’s teeth just barely scrape over your bottom lip, and you can’t help whimpering into his mouth in response. Like he’s trying to keep up, you almost instantly feel the heat of Jungkook’s mouth against your skin, his lips and tongue trailing down your neck and along the stretch of your shoulder. You make another soft noise at the way his hands start to roam over your body, restless, searching.

“Take my clothes off,” you pull away from Taehyung’s mouth to command, your eyes flitting up to his. “Let me give myself to you.” You turn to Jungkook. “To both of you.”

In a flash, Jungkook has your shirt over your head, and then it’s his turn to find your lips again, and he’s somehow even more passionate than when he first kissed you tonight.

“So fucking perfect,” Jungkook growls between kisses, and the rasp in his voice makes your nipples tighten under the thin fabric of your bralette. “Wanted this for so long.”

While Jungkook licks into your mouth, Taehyung’s nimble fingers find their way to the button of your jeans, and you lean back on your hands to give him better access. His touch is delicate as he undoes your zipper and starts to shimmy the denim down your legs.

“You too,” you break away from Jungkook to murmur, and you reach down to finish pulling your pants off. “I want to see you both.”

As they each move back from you to stand and disrobe, there’s a tense moment where Taehyung and Jungkook regard each other, and then Jungkook lunges and you scream.

You squeeze your eyes shut at a terrifying sound of something being ripped apart. Panic rises in your chest and makes it impossible to breathe— you don’t know why this was a good idea, you don’t know what you expected, of course this could never work, how stupid could you be— and then you hear Taehyung huff a dark laugh, seemingly unharmed, and your eyes snap open.

And he is. He’s fine. His shirt, however, has been reduced to tatters on your bedroom floor. Jungkook’s smirk is that of a cat who’s just swallowed a canary.

“Very mature of you, mongrel. I take it I’m meant to repay the favor?” Taehyung scoffs, and you keep your eyes open to watch him easily tear Jungkook’s shirt from his body, as if it were made of tissue paper. Your head spins.

Attempting to remember how to breathe is made all the more difficult when you watch them both strip down to their boxers. Your heart flutters in your chest as you realize in this moment how truly beautiful they both are.

Jungkook’s body in particular takes you aback– despite still having the enviably small waist you’ve always teased him for, the rest of him has certainly filled out over the years. He’s broad-shouldered and thick, with firm definition in his arms and abdominals that ripple as he reaches down to shimmy out of his pants.

It’s hard to believe this is the same kid you spent your childhood summers with, sharing secrets and making up stories, the one you used to call ‘Boba Ball’ or ‘Triangle Kimbap’ during the years he refused to cut his hair.

In stark contrast, Taehyung’s body feels like coming home. He’s striking as he always is, all long, lean muscles, a hand-carved statue come to life. Though it’s well into the dead of night now, you swear you can still see the glimmer shifting under his skin, like he’s stepping into full sunlight as he moves toward you. He’s just as brilliant, just as blinding, even in the dim light of your bedroom. Perfection incarnate.

You know it for a fact, can feel it thrumming behind your ribs, as true as the steady beat of your human heart. You love them both, unconditionally and irrevocably.

“Jagiya,” Taehyung breathes as he stands over you where you sit at the edge of the bed. “You’re glowing.” His hand cups your cheek, and you turn your head to press a kiss to the freezing center of his palm.

“I’m so happy, Tae,” you whisper, and he’s smiling softly when you glance back up.

“That’s all I want.”

You can feel the tears welling up in your eyes, and then Jungkook steps in beside him, and it’s like every piece in your heart slots perfectly into place.

“Are you ready?” Jungkook asks. Their superhuman reflexes move so quickly, you feel like you’ve only just begun to nod when two sets of hands are already on you, dragging you up to the head of the bed like you’re light as a feather.

Together, they push you down into the mattress, and then two mouths start to trace over every inch of your skin they can find. They alternate fluidly, everywhere at once: the brush of full lips, the sharp-sweet bite of teeth, the wet wash of a tongue. Your eyes roll back at the overwhelming sensations, and though you can initially tell them apart by the sharp contrast in their skin temperature, it all eventually melds together in your mind until you’re not sure where Taehyung ends and Jungkook begins.

The four hands on your body make quick work of stripping you out of your bralette and panties, and you’re whimpering and writhing and drenched with arousal when a warm tongue circles your nipple while a cold hand starts to creep up towards your center.

Jungkook sucks firmly on the stiff bud in his mouth, and you keen. “Fuck, Koo, oh god.”

Not to be outdone, you feel Taehyung’s teeth very lightly graze over the sensitive skin of your inner thigh, and your hips shudder as you groan again.

There’s a wet pop as Jungkook releases your breast from his mouth with a soft laugh. “She squirms.”

“She does.” Taehyung’s breath ghosts over your entrance as he answers. He presses a glossy kiss to the crease of your thigh, then slips two smooth, delicate fingers into the wet heat of your pussy, and you outright moan.

“She’s vocal,” Jungkook remarks.

Taehyung crooks his fingers to make you cry out again, and he falls into a steady stroking motion. “She is.”

“You’ve done this before?”

Your breath coming in shallow pants now, you manage to lift yourself up onto your forearms and interject. “We’ve never– not all the way.”

Taehyung smirks at Jungkook as his digits squelch inside of you. “We’ve done enough.”

Jungkook’s eyes drop to your face, and you meet his gaze. He cups one of your breasts in his hand, massaging it in his palm before taking the peak of your nipple between his fingers. You whine as he gently rolls the bud in a circle. “What have you done?” he asks, his voice softer this time.

“What do you think, jagi?” Taehyung answers confidently before you can respond, your pussy still gripping tight around his fingers. “Want to show wolfboy here how well you suck my cock?”

Heat flushes your face at the thought, and Jungkook practically snarls down the bed at Taehyung. “Or maybe you can show me how you eat her out, and then I’ll show you how it’s really done.”

Taehyung’s expression falters just the slightest amount, but it’s enough for Jungkook’s keen senses to notice. “Wait– you’ve gotta be fucking kidding me.”

You shake your head, struggling to keep up, your mind fighting not to give into the euphoria of their hands continuing to work your body. “We haven’t. Tae’s not–”

“What, not a man?” Jungkook snaps, paired with a tug of your nipple. “I could’ve told you that.”

The sigh that escapes your mouth is edged with a moan as Taehyung’s thumb brushes lightly over your clit. “He’s not ready, Jungkook.”

“I’m sorry, he doesn’t want to eat you out because he’s too scared he’ll fucking eat you?”

Taehyung scoffs between your legs, but Jungkook is already shifting to his knees, clearly having heard enough. “That’s it. Turn the fuck over.”

You appreciate the consideration when Jungkook guides you to sit up and get on hands and knees across the width of the bed, nudging you forward so that he can kneel down behind you on the mattress. The positioning is ideal for Taehyung to meet you on the other side.

There’s a cold flash in Taehyung’s eyes as he circles the bed, not unlike a predator stalking prey. Watching him sends more arousal flooding through you, enough that the crux of your thighs is painted with slick when Jungkook encourages them apart from behind.

You can see Taehyung’s length straining against the confines of his underwear as he stands in front of you, and he laughs softly when you reach up to pull him out, too greedy to wait. He’s beautiful, long and hard and weighing heavy in your palm. Your eyes roll up to meet Taehyung’s, deep amber and brimming with lust as you press gentle kisses to the rim of his cockhead.

The wet smack of your mouth is chased with a fluttering whimper when Jungkook slides two fingers through your dripping folds to roughly part your pussy lips. You can feel yourself dripping, can hear the dark hum Jungkook emits in response.

“You look delicious,” he rasps. “Can’t believe this parasite would rather have your blood.”

In hopes it will distract him from Jungkook’s insult, you choose that moment to swallow Taehyung down, and your plan seems to work. Taehyung’s fingers snake through your hair and his head tips back as you stretch your lips over his shaft. You find yourself whining softly around him at the feeling alone, the smooth press of his cock against your tongue.

You hollow your cheeks around Taehyung and slowly begin to suck along his length, eliciting a deep hiss from him, your hand pumping in time at the base where your mouth can’t reach.

It takes a conscious effort to hold in a moan when you feel the first touch of Jungkook’s tongue, dragged thick up your slit like a hot knife through butter. You arch your spine, your body begging for more, and his hands grip the soft flesh of your ass as he spreads you open and indulges.

Jungkook eats you like a man starved, shoving his tongue into your pussy with enough force to slide Taehyung’s cock further into your mouth. Taehyung’s tip teases into the back of your throat, and he groans when you swallow to urge him over the edge.

“Fuck, jagiya,” he pants as you continue to bob up and down, relentless, spurred on by every sloppy pass of Jungkook’s tongue. “If only that mutt could see how good you look with my cock in your mouth.”

Pleased at Taehyung’s praise and choosing to ignore his dig at Jungkook, you lean forward to take even more of him, until the whole of his glass-hard cock is crammed down your throat. You can feel drool welling up on your tongue, can feel your muscles trying not to choke around him, made all the more difficult by the way Jungkook is steadily fucking his tongue into you now.

The shudder of your throat matches the tremble in Taehyung’s hips, and you can tell he’s fighting the urge to push you past the limits of what a human can take.

There’s a part of you that wishes he would.

You gag softly as you pull off of him, giving both of you a moment to collect yourselves. One of Taehyung’s large hands pets over your hair, encouraging, and you drop your forehead down to rest in the crook of your elbow. Without the distraction of sucking Taehyung’s cock, the pleasure of Jungkook’s hot mouth on your pussy is overwhelming, and you can’t help moaning into the mattress.

“God, just like that, Koo.”

Managing to pull yourself back up for more, you coax a soft groan from Taehyung as you start to kitten lick up his shaft. Jungkook pulls away from your center just as you take Taehyung into your mouth again.

“You taste so fucking good. Bloodsucker doesn’t know what he’s missing. But he can enjoy my sloppy seconds.”

The sudden wet sound of Jungkook spitting is so loud that even Taehyung flinches, and your cunt clenches at the slick-splatter feeling. Wasting no time, Jungkook dives back in, eagerly shoving the mix of saliva and arousal into your entrance with his tongue, and it’s all you can do to focus on the cock in your mouth.

Taking Taehyung faster this time, you build up to a steady rhythm, your hands fisting the bed sheets beneath you as you swallow him down. You make an audible gulping sound with each pass, his length dipping over and over into the tight squeeze of your throat. Taehyung can’t hold back, grunting a steady stream of curses as you suck him off just the way he likes.

When Jungkook outright growls between your legs, you feel it more than hear it, and the vibrations that roll through you are enough to make your toes curl. You pull most of the way off, sliding your lips down Taehyung’s shaft to suckle at the head of his cock as you whimper gently around him.

With his fingertips gripping your ass bruising-hard, Jungkook’s lips slide up your folds until he finds the underside of your clit. Your thighs quiver violently when his tongue darts out for one rough flick over the sensitive bud. There’s no stifling the way you moan when Jungkook repeats the action, again and again, falling into a steady lapping rhythm that makes your whole body shake.

His mouth is so wet and so warm that you completely lose your ability to multitask. Your jaw goes slack around Taehyung’s length, drool spilling onto the sheets beneath you until Taehyung finally withdraws. You don’t have enough space in your brain to try and stroke his ego to keep things fair— you’re entirely lost in the heat of Jungkook’s tongue over your clit. Your hips shove back toward Jungkook’s face to grind against his mouth, your own tongue lolling out as you pant and moan.

An ice cold hand tangling in your hair is enough to get your eyes to refocus, and you glance up at Taehyung just in time for his grip to tighten. The sting of it sparkles like diamonds against your scalp as he forces your head back and watches you fuck yourself on Jungkook’s tongue.

“Feels good, jagiya?” Taehyung purrs, speaking up to be heard over the gasps and slurps of Jungkook as his mouth works your pussy, drinking up every drop.

You can’t think or speak, can’t do anything except nod dumbly and try to keep your eyes from rolling up into your skull. Taehyung cranes your head back another inch and you whimper at the pressure. “Gonna come on puppy’s tongue?”

“Uh-huh,” you manage to choke out, and you outright keen when two of Taehyung’s slender fingers reach down to find one of your nipples and twist. The shock of pleasure-pain rips through your whole body, and fuck, it’s enough. Taehyung drops his grip on your hair just as your orgasm hits, and your head bounces against the mattress as you collapse into shuddering moans, your body trembling all over.

Your thighs threaten to give out, but Jungkook’s hands find purchase under your hips to keep you up. You let him hold your weight entirely like it’s nothing at all, his face and tongue still buried in you as your pussy gushes and flutters around him.

Everything eventually softens into the warm glow of comedown, your moans dissolving to gentle whimpers, and then Jungkook slowly lowers you to the mattress. His hands slip down to keep your thighs pulled apart, and he leans in for a few more licks to your cunt, your whole body shivering with oversensitivity at each pass until he finally relents.

“First orgasm’s mine,” Jungkook remarks, like it’s casual.

You glance up to see Taehyung baring his teeth, and you roll onto your side despite how heavy your limbs still feel. “I’ll make her come harder. Let me taste you next, jagi.”

“Tae, wait,” you murmur, pushing yourself up onto your hands. “Are you sure you’re ready?”

Jungkook’s smug response comes first. “How about you do it while I fuck her?”

“What?!”

If your heart wasn’t still racing from the orgasm, it would be now at the way Taehyung’s eyes are fixed on Jungkook, like he wants to tear him limb from limb. But Jungkook just keeps talking, as if it doesn’t scare him in the slightest.

“She’s got two holes, right? If I take her in the ass, her pussy’s yours. It’s like she said— if you can’t stand me, maybe it’ll tone down the desire to, you know. Have a snack.”

There’s a visible tremor in Taehyung’s jaw as he attempts to keep himself under control. When he speaks, his voice is strained with the effort of holding back. “You’re not putting anything… anywhere until after I do. I don’t care which fucking hole it is.”

At this, you finally interject. “Taehyung’s right, Jungkook.”

The staring contest ends as they both look down at you, and your eyes jump back and forth between them as you shift onto your knees on the mattress. “We’ve wanted this and talked about it for so long. It’s only fair that he be my… first.”

Jungkook, to your surprise, seems unbothered. “That’s fine. So long as I’m your second.”

“Lay the fuck down, jagi,” Taehyung growls.

You follow the command and Taehyung settles between your thighs with a determined cold-steel gaze, his knees sinking soft divots into the mattress. He fists at his throbbing-hard cock as you spread yourself for him, and when he lines himself up with your entrance, you hook your legs over his hips.

In the dim light, there’s an ice-shimmer sheen on his cock, still glossed with your drool. The tip nudges at your center, and you’re drenched for him, you can feel it, slick from Jungkook’s mouth and wet with your own arousal that drips down to coat his waiting length.

A shiver runs through you at the touch of Taehyung’s hand over yours, and he turns your palm up so he can interlace your fingers together.

“Jagiya,” Taehyung murmurs. “I love you.”

His free hand slips down to anchor over your hip, and then you feel him, the glass-cold weight of his cock starting to press into you, long and impossibly hard.

“Oh god, Taehyung,” you gasp, your head kicking back against the bed. “I love you, too. So much.”

You have to shut your eyes to focus on the feeling, on adjusting to the stretch of him, your brow furrowing as you try to breathe through it.

The warm brush of a callused hand over your cheek instantly softens your expression, and your eyes flutter open again to take in Jungkook above you. His warm familiarity makes you smile, as does the sweet expression on his face as he hovers over you.

“Hi,” Jungkook says simply, and you tip your chin up enough for him to understand what you want. He leans forward and his mouth captures yours in an upside-down kiss, one that you can’t help but gasp into when Taehyung fully bottoms out inside you.

Jungkook pulls back as your breath flutters into his mouth. “Is it okay? He’s not hurting you?”

You shake your head, eyes dropping closed as Jungkook trails kisses along the line of your jaw and down your neck. “God, you took him so well.” His voice smolders against your skin.

As if attempting to regain your focus, you feel Taehyung’s hand slip between your legs. His thumb begins to trace gentle circles over your clit, and your walls clench around him in response. “Oh fuck, Tae.”

“Can I move, jagi?” he grunts, and you nod, punctuated with a soft whimper.

“Please, Tae. I need to feel you.”

You barely get the words out before Jungkook’s mouth finds yours again, and your tongue licks hungrily against his as Taehyung slowly starts to move. His cock is so thick, heavy and smooth like marble as he glides over your ridges, and you moan eagerly against Jungkook, gripping the back of his neck like a lifeline as Taehyung’s hips fall into a steady rhythm.

“Oh my god,” you have to break away from Jungkook to gasp. “Oh my god, Tae.”

“Bet that tight little pussy feels so good,” Jungkook murmurs, lips brushing over your ear. When he pulls back, you open your eyes to take him in.

“Jungkook,” you nearly whine his name, overwhelmed at the way Taehyung has started to jostle you on his cock. “Wanna make you feel good too.”

The pads of his fingertips trace delicately over your cheek, and then his thumb slips down to pull at your bottom lip.

“Do you wanna take my cock in this pretty mouth?” The hand tracing over your lip slips lower, until his warm palm is closed over the column of your neck. You can feel the heat of him in every beat of your pulse, the hummingbird thrum of your very human heart. “And let me fuck your throat?”

An overwhelming desire to be filled from both ends makes your breath stutter in your chest, and you grip his forearm with both of your hands, nails digging into his warm skin. “Y-yes, Jungkook,” you answer, working hard to get the words out with how heavy Taehyung is stroking into you. “I need it.”

Jungkook dips forward to brush his lips over yours again, just the lightest touch. “I love you,” he murmurs softly against your mouth.

“I love you,” you repeat, your voice a near whisper.

Another kiss, and he’s smiling when he pulls back. “Be a good girl and open up for me.”

As Jungkook steps away to tug down and step out of his boxers, you feel Taehyung slow his thrusts, and then you gasp a little at how deep his cock sinks into you when he shifts forward to push you both up the bed.

“You feel so good, jagi,” Taehyung groans, and you can’t help but whimper when he moves you easily, grabbing your legs and slinging them roughly over his shoulders.

A yelp escapes your lips when Taehyung hooks his arms over your thighs and pulls them flush to his chest, causing your ass to lift off the mattress entirely. With the way he has you bent, the majority of your weight should be resting in your arms and upper back pressed flat to the bed, possibly painfully. But Taehyung holds you up so effortlessly that you feel like you weigh nothing at all.

The angle also shoves you just far enough back that your head tips over the edge of the bed, and you’re grateful for this small concession from Taehyung, to let Jungkook have his way peacefully, because he knows it’s what you want, too.

As Jungkook steps in to hover over you, Taehyung starts to bounce you on his cock again, and he fills you up so perfectly like this that you can only moan, your head tilting all the way back.

Jungkook’s hands pet down the length of your neck until he finds your breasts, angled up toward him and jiggling with every fierce thrust as Taehyung picks up the pace. You whimper when Jungkook’s palms close around your tits, and you feel the head of his dick toy at your bottom lip, gliding wet with precum that has already started to leak from his slit.

Letting your eyes flutter closed, you give yourself over to the pleasure welling up inside of you and stick your tongue out to guide Jungkook in. His groan is nearly a growl as his cock presses into your mouth to weigh your tongue down heavy, then slips even further back until he’s teasing at the clench of your throat.

The stretch of being used by both of them lights you up all the way through, like a live wire.

For a moment, you find yourself wishing that you weren’t human, that they didn’t have to worry about being gentle to keep you from getting hurt, that Jungkook and Taehyung could truly do whatever they wanted to you.

The thought is exciting and terrifying, and your heart skips a beat in your chest.

Jungkook holds himself still once he’s pushed all the way in, and your throat bulges up at the width of him. You have to remind yourself that at least for now, you are human, and you need to keep breathing.

Taehyung is thrusting balls-deep into your pussy now, and though Jungkook hasn’t started his own strokes yet, the way Taehyung shoves into you is enough to gently rock Jungkook’s length back and forth in the heat-clutch of your throat.

You hear Jungkook moan above you. “Oh fuck yeah, just like that.”

His hips just barely start to move in time, out to match each of Taehyung’s thrusts in, back into your throat every time Taehyung’s cock drags out of your cunt. All you can do is lay there and take it from both of them, a fragile fucktoy, drool slipping down your chin while Jungkook’s hands knead at your breasts and Taehyung’s thumb rolls over your clit.

“Look so good like this,” Taehyung grunts as he presses his lips to your calf hooked over his shoulder. “Wanna make you come on my cock, jagi.”

The plea makes you moan enough to gag around Jungkook, and he relents to let you catch your breath, strings of spit spider-webbing out of your mouth as you pant and laugh a little.

“Fuck me harder, Taehyung,” you breathe. “I can take it.”

It feels like you might bruise from the intensity at which Taehyung begins to stroke into you at your command, but it’s so good, you can’t imagine ever caring about the marks he’ll leave behind. The slap of skin on skin is loud, the way you moan louder still. The pleasure of it rushes up in your bloodstream and hits hard enough to make you dizzy, and the relentless rub of Taehyung’s thumb over your clit pushes you to the edge overwhelmingly quickly.

“Jungkook,” you gasp, your head tipping back towards him. “Please. Want you in my mouth when I come.”

“God,” Jungkook groans, nearly laughing as he slips his thick cock between your lips again. “You are so fucking hot.”

You take Jungkook back into your mouth, and you can already feel your walls starting to flutter around Taehyung as his cock plunges into you over and over. Jungkook’s heavy breathing and Taehyung’s strangled moans mix together in a discordant harmony, underscored by the wet sounds of your throat and your pussy as they fuck you from both ends. Your orgasm mounts, coiling tight in your core, undeniable now.

“That’s it, jagiya,” Taehyung groans. “Come for us.”

You nearly sob around Jungkook’s shaft as you reach your peak, your hips shoving up wildly in Taehyung’s grasp, your entire body overwhelmed by pleasure. Wave after wave of it washes through you, and your pussy pulses for what feels like an eternity, soaking Taehyung’s length in your juices.

Jungkook pulls out again to let you breathe, and you collapse back against the bed. The rush of air into your lungs is so sharp that it stings a little. Your heartbeat slams in your chest as Taehyung withdraws too, and then he leans down to cover your body with his.

His perfect lips find yours and he kisses you deeply, and it takes all the effort you have left to move your mouth against his.

“You’re beautiful, jagiya,” Taehyung murmurs against your skin. “You feel like heaven.”

“I love you, Taehyung,” you manage to whisper back.

“Aw,” Jungkook’s voice drips thick with sarcasm, and you’re ashamed to realize that you’d momentarily forgotten his presence. “What a lovely couple. Guess that orgasm makes the score one-to-one, huh Tae-Tae?”

You shiver a little at the loss of Taehyung’s body over yours as he gets to his feet, inhumanly fast, to move towards Jungkook.

“You know, I have no idea what she sees in you,” Taehyung scoffs.

Jungkook barks a laugh. “That’s fine. ‘Cause pretty soon you’ll be seeing me in her.”

Your heart is in your throat as you watch the two of them circle each other, their eyes burning with hatred. A low warning sound reverberates from between Taehyung’s teeth, but Jungkook just keeps going. “What do you think, bloodsucker? Ready to try eating pussy now that you’re not a virgin anymore?”

“I’d much prefer dog for my next meal, if I’m honest,” Taehyung spits.

“I’d love to see you try.”

“Please.” Your voice comes out shattered, and you kneel up on the bed, grabbing both of them by the bicep in a feeble human attempt to pull them apart. You know you don’t have the real strength to move either of them, but they clearly choose to relent, each taking a few reluctant steps back.

“I want both of you,” you exclaim, close to tears. “Please, please don’t fight.”

There’s a tense moment of silence, and you break it the only way you can think to. “Jungkook,” you shift to better face him. “You really meant what you said? About taking me… in the ass?”

Jungkook’s eyes widen as he fumbles for his words. “I-I mean, we don’t have to. I was just saying shit to make him mad, really.”

“But do you want to?” you press him.

Jungkook blinks. “I want to do anything with you,” he says, like it’s the easiest thing in the world, and your heart melts open.

“I want it, too.”

“I– really?”

You nod, unashamed. “I’ve tried it before, by myself. And I want that with you.”

“How many fingers?” Jungkook’s eyes go dark with lust when he asks the question.

“Two,” you breathe.

His mouth pulls into a dirty smile. “Might have to work you up to three if you want to take me.”

“Taehyung?” You turn towards him when you ask for his consent to continue, and he answers by leaning in for a kiss that steals all the air from your lungs.

Your kisses deepen and intensify until they’re a clash of tongues and teeth as Taehyung joins you to kneel on the bed. Jungkook disappears off to dig through your bathroom cabinets, and there’s a smug look on his face when he returns with a bottle of lube in hand.

Hands still clutching at Taehyung’s neck, you break the kiss momentarily to look over your shoulder as Jungkook settles behind you, and you spread your knees wide for him. The snap of the bottle cap is loud in the quiet of your bedroom, and it’s chased by the thick squelch of Jungkook depositing lube onto his waiting fingers.

“This shit’s cold,” he complains, and you laugh softly against Taehyung’s mouth.

“Everything feels cold to you.”

You reach back with one hand to better spread yourself for him, and then you whimper as you feel Jungkook’s warm, wet fingers start to trace over the rim of your hole.

It feels like you can barely catch your breath before Taehyung’s mouth is on yours again, kissing you hungrily. His teeth roll over your bottom lip, and you moan into his mouth as Jungkook simultaneously pushes a finger into your ass.

Hot pleasure overwhelms you as Jungkook slips all the way in, and Taehyung’s marble lips release yours to trail an icy path over your jaw.

“Fuck, Koo,” you groan as you adjust to the stretch of him, already so much better than your own touch. “I need another.”

“God,” Jungkook exhales in disbelief. “I’ll try. You’re so fuckin’ tight back here.” Attempting to work you open, he starts to rock his finger slowly in and out of you, and you whine again.

The glass-cold touch of Taehyung’s hand brushing over your hip makes you jump a little, and then he traces further down to roll his fingers over your clit, and your spine arches. The soft circles he begins to trace melt you open, and you can feel every muscle in your body slacken, including the tight ring swallowing up Jungkook’s finger.

It’s just enough that he’s able to squeeze a second in.

“Look at that,” Jungkook chuckles darkly. “The leech is helping.”

You wrap a hand firmly around Taehyung’s cock, jutting up proudly between his legs, if only for a tether to ground you, to keep you from slipping out of your body entirely. Taehyung’s groan shudders over your skin as you slowly start to pump his diamond-hard length.

Jungkook doesn’t let up, scissoring his digits inside of you, and you press your hips back to beg for more until he’s shoved in to the hilt.

Taehyung’s deep voice purrs in your ear. “You smell incredible, jagiya.” There’s a sheen to his ochre eyes when you glance up at him. You’re not scared, not really, but your pulse quickens in your throat nevertheless. You know he can hear it, too.

“Tae,” you breathe, unable to get more words out, not with the way Jungkook’s fingers are relentlessly fucking your ass open.

Taehyung ducks his head and you gasp at the cold shock of his tongue when he full-on licks up the side of your neck. He keeps going, tonguing you in thick, slow drags, starting to groan softly in the back of his throat with each one. You let your head tip back to allow him access to more of your skin as you continue to work his cock in your hand.

You know you’re dancing with the devil, especially when you feel the lightest scrape of his teeth over your neck, but it feels too good to stop.

There’s a slow burn stretch at your rim as Jungkook just barely manages to fit a third finger past it. You will your body to relax so you can take him all the way inside, and you can’t help but moan at the overwhelming fullness. “Oh my fucking god, Koo.”

“Look so pretty on my fingers like this,” Jungkook grunts, pairing his words with a harsh slap to your asscheek that makes you yelp. “Can’t wait to see what you look like on my cock.”

Like a reflex, Taehyung growls against your neck, and you tremble at the feeling, at the sound of his teeth grinding together so close to your throbbing pulse.

“Taehyung,” you choke out as you release your grip on his cock and Jungkook’s fingers withdraw from your ass. You take Taehyung’s face in your hands, forcing him to meet your gaze. “Do you want to taste me?” His eyes flash dark with lust as he nods.

Jungkook is already shifting to sit at the edge of the bed, and he reaches for the lube again to pour more out, hissing softly as he fists the sticky gloss over his thick shaft. His legs part to give you room, and you back your ass up towards him. You can’t help but squeak a little when his hands close over your hips and he picks you up, your feet hovering an inch above the floor.

“Spread your legs,” Jungkook instructs, and you do. “Pull your knees up and rest your feet on my thighs.” You nervously find your footing over his firm muscles, but you’re a little scared to bear your full weight down.

Jungkook laughs when he realizes why you’re hesitating. “You can’t hurt me, it’s okay.”

At his encouragement, you press your feet more firmly into Jungkook’s thighs, your own legs shaking slightly with tense anticipation. He keeps his hands gripped tight to your hips, heat radiating out from where his palms press against your skin, and his voice is thick with lust when he speaks again.

“That’s it, baby. Line it up for me.”

You reach behind you to wrap your hand around his cock, and you can feel it pulsing hotly as you arch back to let his tip kiss against your rim.

“Go slow,” you breathe, and Jungkook leans in to press a kiss to your shoulder.

“‘Course I will. Don’t wanna hurt you.”

Inch by inch, he gently starts to sink you down to sheath him, pausing periodically to give you time to adjust. Your mouth drops open at the overwhelming feeling of Jungkook’s thickness stretching you open. It’s so intense that you want to squirm, to run away, the soles of your feet flexing restlessly against his thighs.

Your eyes flutter open again to find Taehyung knelt down, watching the two of you intently with a soft furrow in his brow.

“Tae,” you murmur. “Need your mouth.”

That’s all you have to say, and then he’s crawling towards you, settling on his knees between Jungkook’s spread legs. You shiver at the touch of Taehyung’s fingers as he pulls the lips of your pussy apart, and then he leans in to swipe his tongue through your folds just as Jungkook drops you an inch lower on his cock, and you whine loudly at the sweet rush of pleasure.

“Just like that,” you gasp to both of them, your head lolling back against Jungkook’s chest. “Oh, fuck.”

Taehyung’s tongue traces down to your entrance, slurping greedily at the wetness pooled there before dragging back up to your clit. The mirror-cold slide of his wet mouth over you is incredible, enough to make your toes curl when paired with the pressure of Jungkook’s hot cock pushing into your ass.

You feel the tight muscle of your rim spasm, and you sink another inch down, causing Jungkook to groan harshly in response. Just as you realize that you can feel his thighs flush against your asscheeks, his voice is in your ear.

“That’s it, baby. Took all of me in this tight little ass.”

“You feel so good, Koo,” you whimper, turning over your shoulder to find his mouth with yours. “So big,” you groan against his lips, and he smiles back.

As if to distract you, Taehyung’s teeth just barely brush over the hood of your clit, and you nearly bite Jungkook’s bottom lip off. You pull back to look down at Taehyung, and he smiles shyly between your thighs, feigning innocence.

“Watch it, bloodsucker,” Jungkook mutters, his voice strained. “Guess you need more practice.”

“No,” you manage to gasp, struggling to catch your breath between the two of them. “I liked it. Please, Tae.”

Taehyung leans in to repeat the motion, and the scrape of his teeth sends a hot spark of pain through you, enough to make your eyes squeeze shut and every muscle in your body pull taut. You can hear Jungkook groan behind you as your ass clenches around his cock like a vice.

“Shit,” Jungkook’s voice over your shoulder startles you slightly. Your lashes flutter open in time to see him reach his foot out and nudge at Taehyung’s thigh, not particularly gentle. “Keep fucking doing that.”

Taehyung obliges, alternating gentle passes of his tongue with increasingly rough drags of his teeth across your sensitive bud. The steady swings between pleasure and pain make your head spin, until Taehyung’s husky voice drags you back from the brink of all-encompassing pleasure.

“You’re dripping, jagiya.”

You whimper, unable to form words to respond, and then you can only moan as you feel one of Taehyung’s delicate fingers work itself into the heat of your pussy with a wet squelch.

“Pup’s so big and you’re so little,” Taehyung continues. “There’s no room left. Can barely get a finger in here.”

“I want to take you too, Tae,” you plead. “I want both of you.” It’s not just want at this point– you’re more sure than ever that you have to have this, both of them, together. “Please.”

Taehyung’s face darkens with concern. “We’ll break you.”

“Then break me,” you practically growl. “I need it.”

You’re expecting Taehyung to argue back, forever concerned for your safety, but to your surprise, he surges up to kiss you instead. A soft whimper spills from your mouth into his, and you tangle your fingers in his long dark hair and taste him until he pulls away.

As if to beckon him in, you wordlessly tilt your hips toward Taehyung as best you can with Jungkook’s thick cock still fully sheathed in your ass. Taehyung’s hands sink into the mattress on either side of Jungkook’s hips as he positions himself in front of you.

“Breathe, jagi,” Taehyung reminds you.

Your lungs burn as you inhale deep, and you try desperately to relax as you feel the tip of his glass-hard length teasing at your drenched entrance. Taehyung slowly starts to push in, and your hands search for purchase along the lean, flexing muscles in his arms, your nails attempting to scratch over skin that won’t give.

There’s a steady throb between your legs as Taehyung gently nestles himself all the way into your cunt, his cock pressed tight to Jungkook’s with only the thin barrier of your body between them. This feeling of fullness is beyond anything you’ve ever experienced, and the sensation of taking both of them at once is overwhelming. It’s spine-chilling cold and blood-boiling heat all in one, their cocks crammed so deep inside you that you swear you can feel them in your throat.

“Fuck,” Jungkook hisses, and he can’t quite hide the waver of pleasure that paints his voice. “Your dick’s fucking cold.”

“You’re actually just a fucking furnace,” Taehyung spits back, but it’s chased with a soft groan. 

Your mind lags, dazed with pleasure, but it slowly occurs to you that the temperature combination must feel equally good for them. Even if their egos won’t let them admit it.

“Move.” No one is more shocked than you at the commanding tone of your voice when you speak. “Both of you. Stop talking and fuck me.”

Jungkook acts first, his hands tightening on your hips to lift you, and the tight clutch of your ass dragging up the length of his cock makes you both gasp. Taehyung watches closely as Jungkook falls into a steady rhythm, and then he starts to roll his hips to match it, thrusting into your pussy each time Jungkook pulls your ass back down over his cock.

None of you can keep your composure or bite back your moans now, the pressure of their cocks simultaneously fucking into you feels too good. You can hear Jungkook panting in your ear, can see a muscle flexing in Taehyung’s jaw as he groans with every upstroke, and you begin to shove your hips up in time with their motions, your feet pressing firmly against Jungkook’s thighs for leverage.

“That’s it, baby,” Jungkook grunts. “Fucking ride us.”

Taehyung shifts slightly, putting all his weight into one hand to lift the other off the mattress and toy with your clit. You keen as he rolls it between his thumb and index finger, and you feel the chill of his mouth close over the slope of your neck.

“Oh fuck, Tae,” you whine as he starts to suck hard against your skin, enough that you’re sure he’ll leave a mark. You can feel every muscle in your body tightening, a dam of arousal threatening to burst deep inside of you, and something primal awakens there.

In this moment, you know exactly what you need.

“Taehyung,” you groan softly, and you already know he wants it too. “Do it, Tae. Please. Bite me.”

“Do not fucking turn her,” Jungkook growls, slamming your ass down so hard on his thighs that you nearly choke on a gasp. Taehyung’s mouth sucks even harder, right over your pulse point.

“No, no,” you protest. “Just a little drink, Tae. Please. It felt so good last time, I know. We both want it.” You’re outright begging, insatiable– your eyes threaten tears with how badly you really do want this, need this.

Like it takes every ounce of strength he has, Taehyung manages to pull himself off your neck, his hips still pistoning into you. “Jagi, I–I’ll frenzy. I’ll hurt you.”

You shake your head. “Jungkook is here, you can stop yourself. I know you can. Please, Tae, if you love me.”

As if those words were all he needed to hear, you see Taehyung rear back, and then you scream as his teeth pierce the skin of your neck. “It’s good Taehyung, it’s good,” you choke out, trying to keep it together. Your breath comes ragged now, in harsh, broken sobs.

Taehyung is loud when he drinks from you, slurping and gasping and groaning unabashedly, and you shiver violently at the icy wash of his tongue circling over your wounds.

The world begins to blur at the edges, bleeding out, like time itself is slowing. You feel your climax winding tighter inside of you even as your body starts to go weak, held up like a ragdoll in Jungkook’s grip as they both continue to fuck you full.

Jungkook growls like a clap of thunder, and it’s enough to bring Taehyung back to his senses. His head snaps up angrily, your blood momentarily forgotten. You just barely manage to focus your gaze on Taehyung’s face to see him bare his teeth in a vicious snarl at Jungkook, more monster than man.

“What is it, pup? Want a taste?”

Your mind moves slowly, and just as you think to yourself that Jungkook will scoff at the very idea, maybe even try to fight Taehyung for suggesting it, a new sensation flutters against your neck. It’s unmistakable, the touch of Jungkook’s tongue over the same spot, hot enough to burn the delicate skin that was just made so cold by Taehyung’s mouth.

“Oh fuck,” you moan loudly.

“It’s good, isn’t it?” Taehyung purrs, chased with a dark laugh, and your mind is too dizzy to know which of you he’s asking.

“She’s sweet,” Jungkook confirms, and your eyes roll back at the warmth of his tongue when it returns to your neck. Taehyung laughs even louder.

“He’s not gonna leave any for me. Can I give you one more set, jagi?”

“Please,” you gasp. “I’m so fucking close, Tae.”

Your head feels heavy on your neck now, and it takes all the strength you have to look at Taehyung when you feel the brush of his marble palm against your cheek. “I love you,” he murmurs, and then there’s an animal sound as his teeth tear a fresh gash into the other side of your neck.

Two cocks filling you, two tongues drinking you, your mind at the precipice of blacking out, the sweet pleasure-pain of ice and fire twisting all the way through your body: it’s all too much. Taehyung’s second bite sends you violently over the edge, and your vision goes black as you come with a strangled scream. White noise roars in your ears like TV static, and you feel the unmistakable throb of two loads filling you up simultaneously as your cunt pulses in an endless, overwhelming orgasm.

A voice somewhere in the back of your mind asks if these might be your final moments alive, if this shaky inhale you can barely take is the last breath you’ll ever breathe, and then the world goes dark as you lose consciousness entirely.

~*~

You wake up with a deep gasp, like coming up for air.

You’ve been laid flat on your back on the bed, and you sit up so fast your head spins, making it momentarily impossible to focus on anything. You squeeze your eyes shut again, trying to steady yourself.

“Oh thank god,” Taehyung’s worried voice comes from your right side, and you feel both of his hands close over yours. “I was just about to call Seokjin. Do you still want me to?”

The thought of having to explain any of this to Taehyung’s adoptive father makes your face burn with embarrassment.

“No, no, Tae,” you manage to croak. “I’m fine, seriously. Don’t call him.”

“You’re lucky,” you hear Jungkook scoff from your left. “I had about five more seconds left of you playing dead before I was going to tear vampy here to shreds. Guess there’s always next time.”

You wrench your eyes open in disbelief to find Taehyung and Jungkook staring at you, brows creased with worry.

“N-next time?”

“Do you still want that, jagiya?” Taehyung asks softly, and you have to swallow down the urge to cry. “You still want both of us?”

“More than anything,” you choke out, eyes darting between the two of them, trying to take them both in at once. “I-I’m sorry I pushed myself too hard, but please, I still need–”

“It’s okay,” Taehyung interrupts you. “We clearly all got caught up in the moment. I’m just glad you’re okay. And now we know better, for… next time.”

You still can’t believe what you’re hearing, and you turn to look at Jungkook, trying to make sense of it.

Jungkook just shrugs. “Neither of us have ever felt anything close to what we felt tonight. I mean, it was insane. And we both love you, that much is obvious. So as long as you’re still breathing, I guess we’re gonna have to learn to play nice.”

Taehyung laughs darkly as your jaw drops open. “It’s true, jagiya. I never would’ve believed it before tonight. But, despite all odds, it would seem we’ve found a way to… compromise.”

lol i'm so sorry this was the dumbest thing i've ever written bye