#but at the end of the day id prefer you keep those thoughts to yourselves bc it makes some of us take it to heart etc. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

kshitij1997 · 5 years ago

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Welcome back!

Well, the die has been cast, and Europe shall endure the consequences. Or will it?

Onward with the story :)

All Frozen and Tangled characters belong to Disney. All I own is this retelling and some original characters.

Chapter 10: Felino the crooked nose

February the 5th, 1828,

‘You’re a frigid, wormy piece of shit, you know that?’, growled the recently anointed Tsar at the Arendellian Monarch. Not a good sign for the conference the concert of Europe had arranged; the Monarch of Arendelle was hellbent on closing his country yet again, and no one was willing to budge on their stance.

‘I care not for the impression you choose to have about me, your majesty. I have my reasons and my fears to support my decision. I have to do what I feel is best for my kingdom, as would you if you faced a decision of a similar magnitude.’ Agnarr stated his position calmly, even as he felt no genuine respect for the Russian Monarch. Unlike his late brother, Tsar Nicholas the first had no great capacity for empathy and understanding. He had chosen to keep himself and his people ignorant. After all, what could one say of the sovereign who treated his highest officials and closest advisors like the serfs he saw them to be, and the holy synod under him bragged openly about how it was their god given duty to keep the downtrodden as they were. Oh, how their man, Sergei Uvarov, the Tsar’s minister of education, openly declared: “If I can extend Russia’s childhood another fifty years I will consider my mission accomplished.”

Oh, the Tsar saw himself as a god, and a jealous one at that. Agnarr understood that and knew that as a fellow sovereign, the Tsar could do little but rant in his face for the insult. Even if he would want to wage war upon Arendelle, he wouldn’t wish to give up access to the only warm water seaport he had. Still, Agnarr’s worries were far greater than some disgruntled people in power.

Elsa had lost control of her powers and was crippled in her fear, Anna had been forced to selective amnesia from Grand Pabbie, leaving no trace of Elsa’s powers and Olva...well she hadn’t been so fortunate. Against the advice of Grand Pabbie, he and Iduna had insisted on the procedure of wiping her memory clean of Elsa’s powers and the accident. The hermit warned of the consequences he was facing now with Olva, but how was he to know in his panic and desperation? Now the poor girl had begun experiencing fits and severe headaches, along with bouts of fainting for several minutes. He hadn’t slept this past month properly in the worry of what could happen to his family. Now he had a solution, and he would not back off from it. He must protect his family in any way possible. He must.

‘Your majesties, please don’t antagonise each other. This concerns all of us. You’re not the only ones troubled here. King Agnarr, you’d best explain yourself.’, queen Sophia spoke firmly as she presided over the conference. Agnarr’s declaration had shocked everyone, and he was yet to provide an explanation.

‘Thank you, queen Sophia. I have no intent on stepping on anyone’s face or insulting anyone. This sudden policy of isolation is a measure of precaution. I have it on reliable sources and personal knowledge that there are elements of revolution and insurgency brewing up in my kingdom. I can’t ignore it like the previous bourbon king of France in his time, god rest his soul. I must deal with these rebels quickly and with extreme prejudice. Because if I don’t then Arendelle falls forever, and if Arendelle falls, all northern Europe shall sink along with it.

And before you decide on persecuting war against me, ask yourselves this. Haven’t we had enough of war? We saw 2 decades of war followed by a decade of relative peace. If you ask me, I’d rather prefer the latter. I make this tough choice for the safety of all Europe, please understand.’

He paused to size up the room, who could be his allies and enemies hereafter. Corona and Austria-Hungary were definitely his allies; he knew Reginald would support him in the end. Weselton and the English would be against it; his partnership with them and America would be at risk, he’ll have to accommodate them somehow. Same was the situation with Russia. Maybe the Ottomans had to be brought in to keep Russia in check? Spain and the Southern Isles could be neutral; the Spanish could not care less, their main rivals were the English and the French, they would only vote as a formality. As for the Southern Isles were represented by queen Paulina, for the king had taken ill. On the surface, Paulina looked pleasant and charismatic, yet Agnarr knew that she would be a formidable and dangerous foe if he didn’t play this right. He began to speak again but was rudely interrupted.

‘And what would be these insurgent elements? The Northuldra?’, asked the duke of Weselton. The room tensed at the duke’s blatant attempt towards badgering the king of Arendelle. Agnarr had to fight a very strong impulse towards bashing the duke’s head on the wall. After composing himself mentally, he replied with barely concealed intentions ‘Why, yes. They have been neglected for far too long. I must attempt to bring them up with the kingdom. They are too obscure and are getting discontent.’

‘Just the language your father used, didn’t he? And where is he now? Lost like the rest of them. I’m telling you; this country is a lost cause. The Northuldra are ‘discontent’? Don’t make me laugh. They’re out for your and your family’s blood. They have been for years.’, the duke was clearly enjoying himself at Agnarr’s expense.

‘And if I hope to pursue a peaceful solution and keep Europe out of the mess, what is so wrong with that, duke?’, Agnarr nearly spat out the last part.

‘It’s always something personal. What, a problem with your kids now?’

‘Why, your uncouth son of a-‘

‘ENOUGH!’, the presiding queen roared. ‘That’s the second time you have tried to lay discord in the concert on purpose, duke. Once it was over my kidnapped child and now this. I swear, if it happens again, you’re going to meet your maker without warning, in front of everyone!’

‘I can’t believe you’re still going on about your bloody kid. She’s fucking dead! I always get enraged how the kings of Europe are disturbed about such trivial matters, and I’m to be punished because I call out the bullshit for what it is?! Fine. Hang, draw, and quarter me all you want, that does not change the fact that once again, some people are sullying the good name of the concert for their own interests.’, the duke spat venom without a care.

‘I’ve heard enough. Marshals, break the duke’s kneecaps.’, an enraged Sophia gave the cold order to her personal guard. The duke’s bravado melted away instantly, and he shrunk in his stature as the marshals came to deal with him.

‘Sophie, stop!’ King Reginald shouted.

‘Pray tell, what now, Reginald?’ his spouse was beyond annoyed by now.

The king of Corona whispered in his spouse’s ear ‘We’ll get the coward some other time. I need to talk sense into Agnarr somehow. I advise you to break for recess.’ A rare sight for the usually tempestuous king to calm down his calmer, more pragmatic wife.

Queen Sophia sighed heavily and announced a recess.

Once they were alone, Reginald confronted Agnarr ‘What’s gotten into you, Agnarr? You’re supposed to be the sensible one amongst us two.’

‘I’ll tell you what’s sensible. I should invade the fucking duchy of Weselton, lay it to fucking waste, burn it to the fucking ground, and salt the fucking remains barren forever!’ Agnarr snarled with uncharacteristic murder in his eyes.

‘Oh, calm down, crusader. I hate the duke much more than you do, believe me. Nevertheless, even I must agree with that poltroon over your course of action. It’s drastic and uncalled for. Tell me honestly what’s bothering you. We’ll make it right. Tell me.’

‘You don’t believe me? I told you every reason I have for doing this. My kingdom has only just recovered from the previous war. I can’t risk another. I certainly can’t afford it to become a pan-European conflict. At the end of the day, I just want my heir to inherit a stable state. An agitated group of people is not the hallmark of a stable state. Even if it takes me years, I must resolve this once and for all.’

Reginald spoke empathetically ‘Alright, but it still is a visceral reaction to the situation. I think foreign aid would only help more. Are you sure about it?’

Agnarr thought about telling the truth to his best friend, but ultimately decided otherwise; he couldn’t let the secret get out in any circumstance.

‘Yes I am. I also believe that those so-called insurgents are supplied by foreign powers themselves; they would like nothing more than to make my kingdom their colony. And that fucking Weselton shill... I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s behind the whole damn thing.’

‘That may be true, but without solid evidence, we can’t deal with him effectively. We must be sure.’ Reginald advised him.

‘Alright, but I can’t back down from my position. Yes, my kingdom will suffer in the short run, but I know we’ll be secure and united eventually.’

Ultimately, the concert decided that Arendelle would only keep one point of access open to the outside world; the main port. Only diplomats and special traders would be allowed. Every other traveller, from tourist to student would have to be barred from entering the country. It may cause uprising among the international students in his kingdom, but he’ll have to deal with them on his down. To preserve the security, the red tape for the traders and businessmen became very harsh. All, in service towards protecting my family; Agnarr thought.

A week later

A craven figure along with half a dozen guards floated in a rowboat towards one of the northern shores of Arendelle, beyond the mist. A hooded figure in silhouette waited for them on shore, heavily dressed to protect them self against the bitter February cold. Upon reaching the shore, the hooded bowed in respect and said ‘Welcome, honourable duke of Weselton. I hope your journey was pleasant enough.’

‘As pleasant a trip I could hope in stormy, waning winter, thank you for asking.’, the duke removed his cloak and coat to make his face more visible, and gestured his guards to disembark and stand around. The scrawny man took a moment to stretch himself, and at length, spoke ‘How many instances of forbidden people wandering into your grounds?’

‘Not as many as before, however a group of the Iceni tribe were intercepted in the valley of death during patrol two months ago and dealt with without exception. No survivors that we know of.’

‘Good, the illegals are dwindling, soon they would be no problem. However, as long as Arendelle stands, you’ll never be safe. We’ll have to confront them once and for all.’

‘Let’s continue our discussion on the way to camp, honourable duke.’

The Northuldrian camp was twenty-five kilometres inland from the seashore, but the spirits had grown very erratic in recent years, so the Northuldra had to find new routes to their homes every few weeks. The latest incident was particularly severe; a landslide had destroyed the usual detour they took, so they had to take the tributaries by another boat, a slower but safer way of travel.

‘Forgive me, honourable duke. I know travel by water does not agree with you.’

‘I’ll live. Tell me, how is everything holding up north of the mist?’

‘We’re eking out a living somehow. As you know, the rivers have been gradually changing course towards the south, our arable lands are going barren as a result. Adding to the problem, the rains are becoming scarcer with every passing year bit by bit. I regret to inform you that the poppy plantation is facing a loss, the raw material for the heroin would be short this time.’

‘It seems you’ve lost the plot, haven’t you? How will I get you your weapons if your end of the bargain is low? Weapons, armament, lumber and steam technology for ships don’t come cheap, you know?’ the duke said with the faux humility that masked grave threats underneath, and the hooded figure knew well what those threats were. Nevertheless, a low yield was not the biggest problem.

‘There’s more, honourable duke. Arendelle has tried to sue for peace and is willing to cooperate.’

‘Yes, I heard. We both know it’s nonsense.’

‘I’m not so sure. The terms they have offered seem rather reasonable.’

‘I’m sure they are. They may be too reasonable, I’m afraid. Implying something between the lines. The implication being disastrous for the Northuldra. If you ask me, I would never take any terms Europe offers at face value.’

‘I’m a fair sceptic of the south, just as you are. But since the rise of the mist, they have not engaged in any big skirmishes.’

The duke sighed and said ‘It pains me to say it, but you lack an ocean of imagination. There are uncountable ways to fight a war of attrition, and Arendelle has chosen the most insidious way.’

‘What do you mean, duke?’

‘I’d rather tell this to everyone at once, instead of making it a poor game of translation errors.’, with that, the duke fell silent, knowing full well that the hooded figure’s doubts had been flared up.

After a voyage of two hours, the party reached the camp. A huge crowd had gathered upon the riverbank where the canoe stopped. The hooded figure removed his hood and stood beside the Northuldra leader as her most trusted vassal. The Northuldra leader went by the name of Yelena, a woman moving towards middle age, standing barely above the duke in stature, but those aged eyes had seen many ups and downs. The leader slightly prostrated herself before the duke; the Northuldra way of showing respect towards authority.

‘Welcome, o duke! I hope your voyage was pleasant.’

‘As much as I could hope it to be. I must say, the Northuldra’s native lands grow more beautiful every time I venture up’ the duke said.

‘Your grace flatters us. I believe my trusted vassal has given you the lowdown for everything that has happened in the past three months. We’ll be happy to discuss a compromise for the goods you need.’

‘Thank you, your excellency. However, my worries include the survival of the Northuldra as well.’

‘What is that supposed to mean?’

‘You may have received terms from the king of Arendelle for a peaceful cessation in the past few days, haven’t you?’

‘Yes, they are more reasonable than I expected.’

‘I feared so, for if you paid attention, you’d realise that the terms are too positive. They’re willing to overlook the massacre of the group of Iceni that happened two months ago. Not to mention the fact that they may have stumbled about the truth about our trade operation as well.’

‘Speaking of the trade operation, what we may be short of in terms of goods, we’ll make up in plunder in the North Atlantic. I have sanctioned three fleets for the same purpose later this week.’

‘That is encouraging, but I must warn you, the plundering operation would become very difficult very soon. What with the king of Arendelle sealing the kingdom’s maritime and overland borders.’

‘Excuse me, come again?’

‘Oh, I’m sorry. I thought you knew.’

‘No, I didn’t. Please enlighten us, your grace.’

‘Well, your excellency, the king of Arendelle has decided to isolate the country, and I quote his speech: “This sudden policy of isolation is a measure of precaution. I have it on reliable sources and personal knowledge that there are elements of revolution and insurgency brewing up in my kingdom. I can’t ignore it like the previous bourbon king of France in his time, god rest his soul. I must deal with these rebels quickly and with extreme prejudice. Because if I don’t, then Arendelle falls forever, and if Arendelle falls, all northern Europe shall sink along with it.” Now you tell me, is this the language a man would use while suing for peace?’

Yelena became quiet for a moment, taking in al the information. At length, she asked ‘What are the possible ramifications of this declaration?’

‘They could be numerous, but I’ll tell you the most obvious one. Within a month at the latest, the coasts would be dotted by the Arendellian navy, putting a blockade through which nothing except their own ships could get in or out. You can imagine they would be only too happy to hunt down your pirate ships before you’re able to secure any loot at all. You can’t raid through the land, as the mist is your most powerful jailer. It will surely be a stifling experience; I won’t deny it.’

‘What if we do sue for peace? If we sincerely send an envoy to the south?’

‘Aye, you could try that. In fact, I suggest you try that without fail.’ Interrupted a tall, dark man as he made his way inside Yelena’s tent.’

‘Mathias, just because the mist forces me to tolerate and learn to like your presence doesn’t mean you interrupt me in meetings about the matters of state.’ Yelena bristled with annoyance.

‘Believe me, once the mist lifts up, I’ll ride south, first thing on my to-do list.’

‘Mathias, you look familiar. Tall, dark, muscular, good posture. Does your Ethiopian father still till the grain and tan the leather shoes?’, making harsh, cutting remarks was a talent the duke used well.

‘No. Does the honourable duke take me for his wretched bastard slaves in the Congo?’ Mathias growled.

‘Gentlemen, please. Your grace, please don’t mind Mathias. Yes, he’s a southerner. He was in king Runeard’s personal guard from what I gather. He may look brutish and imposing, but he’s harmless and dare I say, a halfway decent man. He doesn’t usually interrupt one of my meetings, so this instance must be special. Tell us big boy, what should bother us?’ Yelena finished as she turned to Mathias.

‘I’m sorry. I’m not willing to entertain the stories of a deserter.’, the duke said nonchalantly.

‘As if your pip squeakiness has ever been in a battle to judge a trapped prisoner of war?’ Mathias seethed.

‘See, even he agrees, we’re at war.’ Oh, they were all playing right into my hands, the duke thought with glee.

‘Yes, and now peace must be made. Yelena, this is not the time to go on the offensive. Trust me.’ Mathias faced Yelena as he settled down beside her.

‘Maybe, but it is a peace we would be forced into. We want it on our own terms, Mathias. I understand you’re homesick, but we haven’t had a home to go back to for decades. We will assert our terms onto the king, and he will have to accept it. If he doesn’t, it’s war.’

‘Lofty words, your excellency. Alas, there’s no substance or weight to back your words. You’ll be blockaded soon, and travel by land is impossible anyhow. I suggest you make a permanent settlement here and be done with it.’, the duke laid the bait.

‘And perpetually disturb the peace of the spirits by claiming their sacred forest? Never.’, and Yelena took it.

‘Well, I can’t negotiate such a big difference in your quantity of goods. You’ll have to offer me something if I must continue supporting your struggle. What about lumber from the forest?’

‘You must be reading a fucking comedy. When we refuse to make a permanent settlement in the forest, YOU PROCEED TO SUGGEST SOMETHING FAR WORSE?!’, Mathias had half a mind to strangle the duke right there, when he was stopped by Yelena.

‘Sit down, Mathias! We’re in desperate times. We’ll have to do what we must in order to survive.’

‘Making a bad situation worse is survival?! Can you imagine or fathom withstanding the rage of the spirits if we cut down the forest?! How can you even consider this, Yelena?’

‘If I may ease your concerns, I’ll vouch for the fact that a sacred relic commands a lot of value in the market. Especially amongst those who are powerful, proud, wealthy and don’t ask too many questions. Here’s what I’ll do. I’ll introduce a tiny amount in the market. People would recognize it as sacred or magical with plenty of history behind it. Once I do that, I can manipulate the price for it and bring you all the money, all the weapons, all the ships you need.’, the duke reassured the Northuldra leader.

Yelena spoke at length ‘Alright, I agree to the venture. Let’s begin with ten logs.’

Mathias hung his head in defeat and nursed his forehead, which had begun to throb. This is not going to end well.

Yelena tried to comfort him after the duke left ‘Listen, for every tree we cut down, we’ll plant ten, I promise.’

‘Even if you do that, it won’t be the sacred forest of the fifth spirit anymore.’ Mathias said ruefully.

As the duke made his way to the ship waiting off the coast on his rowboat, one of his taciturn guards asked him ‘Your grace, why do we need these bunch of sheep worshippers?’

The duke grinned darkly ‘When a rival nation is at war with itself, best let it consume itself.’

Around the same time, somewhere in northern Greece

‘Rider, move your ass and get over here!’ A portly man called out as he wiped a greasy hand on his apron.

‘Coming, Elios!’ Flynn came running in. He was now a man of seventeen; having seen a fair bit of the world by now and had been working with Elios for a few months. Elios had hidden Flynn to save him from ‘The Hawk’, a notorious smuggler who had trapped him in his ring. In return, Flynn agreed to work for him in his front business.

‘Why must I go through this fucking chore every time? To have to call you up like a fucking parade float to just do your blessed job?’

‘I’m sorry for being two minutes late. I already did the prep for tonight; the bar has been cleaned and stocked. I just took a nap, calm your tits.’

‘I’ve heard that many times, give me something new Flynn’ Elios rolled his eyes.

‘What do you think I’ve been doing? Making merry around the city square? Come on, I know better than that.’

‘Don’t bother lying to me. I swear, one of those women is gonna make you the sacrificial goat someday.’

‘Alright, I heard your speech. Got it, can we move on?’

Elios wiped some sweat off his forehead and asked, ‘You know who’s coming tonight?’

‘Yeah I do, friends loyal to the Greek cause.’ Flynn answered without faltering

‘Not just any friend, mind you. The Gent is coming along with the Sicilians.’

Flynn’s ears perked up at that piece of news. The Gent was a legend in Northern Greece, almost singlehandedly forming the on-land resistance against the Ottomans in the Greek war of independence. He had been involved in the resistance for nearly seven years now and was lobbying for foreign support.

‘Wow, that’s a hero if I ever saw one.’

‘I told you I’ll introduce you to him soon. Today’s the day.’

‘Now, why would he visit an affluent restaurant filled with Turks day in and out, I’m sure I don’t know.’ Flynn stated incuriously.

‘Hey Flynn, let his people worry about it. I’m sure his people would be clever enough to figure it out.’ Elios was a practical man who knew the streets well, however, forethought was not his strongest suit.

‘No, Elios. Hear me out. If the Gent is ambushed here, we’re done for. Everything will be up for grabs and I know neither of us would like the prick of the cold sabre chopping our necks. And if we know The Gent is coming, the officials certainly know. And if the Sicilians find out, you’ll end up wearing concrete shoes, old boy. You may know the gutters and the roads, but I know loyalty.’

‘What do you suppose we do now? We can’t really serve them in public view.’

‘That is true. Tell you what, let’s clear the cellar for their dinner. I’m sure they don’t want any outsider to hear what they are discussing amongst themselves. Also, I think you should serve them personally, Elios.’

‘No can do. I’m the front. If I don’t stay there, they’ll investigate. You’ll have to serve them yourself. I’m sorry Flynn. The Gent trusts me, if he sees that I consider you worthy, he’ll be comfortable.’

But I don’t know the first thing about him and the others. What if I offend them without meaning to?’

‘Don’t be stupid, Flynn. We both know you know better than that. If the service is good, they’ll fill your pockets with enough dosh to set you up for years. If I truly know you, you wouldn’t miss this opportunity for the world.’

‘Alright, I’ll do it. Say Elios, what if I warm them personally first about the last-minute change of scenery?’

‘No. I’ll have to warn them myself. Set the cellar up. I did contact them two days ago; I’ll do it again.’

‘Just make sure you’re not followed.’

‘Hey Rider, who knows the street better?’

‘You do, clearly.’

‘Yup. I’ll be back soon.’

A few hours later, a party of people showed up. There was the Gent, a tall slender man, worn down by the hiding and fighting. His face was warm enough, save for the green eyes that could bore holes through the Earth, and a crooked mouth that had a scare across the top lip. Still, he felt like a man who could fight forever. As for the Sicilians, they were something else entirely.

It was a band of seven people. The man most fancily dressed, along with the ruby ring on his little finger and the gold watch and chain, was obviously the leader. The six were presumably his bodyguards, each one burlier and more imposing that the last, looking like killers happy to kill a priest in the middle of a sermon. Ruthless and royal. Dressed to the nines up to their plug caps.

Flynn suddenly felt dwarfed and puny.

‘Gentlemen, this is Flynn, he’s been working with me for a few months, he’ll be serving you tonight.’ Elios gave a short introduction and left. Flynn gave a short bow, not sure how to address these powerful men.

‘What’s your name, green boy?’ The Gent asked.

‘Flynn.’

‘How old are you?’

‘Going to be seventeen next month.’

You’re not from around these parts, are you? Your accent tells me....Austria Hungary?’

‘No sir, Corona. The Rhinelands, to be exact.’

‘Uh huh. How’d you end up in Greece?’

‘War orphan from the Napoleonic wars, pushed around all of Europe, ended up here.’ By now, Flynn knew the story by heart.

‘My condolences. Ok Flynn, you’re going to undergo something unpleasant. Forgive me, just the nature of these times. I need to be sure of your loyalty.’

Before Flynn could reply, one of the goons was upon him, almost choking him with his weight, pressing down on his spine. Even if Flynn had any wind left him, he couldn’t yell.

‘Answer me, why was the room changed at such short notice?’

‘When the Gent asks, you better fucking answer, figlio di sfagato!’

‘Get off him, let him speak.’ The goon got off at once.

Flynn coughed and gasped for air. When he could breathe normally, he said weakly , ‘Mr. Gent, it was Mr. Elios who suggested it.’ Flynn barely finished his sentence before receiving a punch in the gut, knocking the air out of him.

‘That’s a lie. Elios is not that big a thinker. You seem to be smarter than you let on. Why’d you try to protect us from the Turks?’

‘I didn’t want them to kill you here. That would be underhanded and filthy. I’ve heard....heard that you believe in engaging them head on, I didn’t want them to ambush you. You’re a hero around here, would be a shame if I couldn’t do my bit for your cause.’ Flynn was hit yet again by the goon, this time in his nose. Blood had begin ebbing from his mouth and nose.

‘You’ve said enough. I can guess the rest of the story. Either betray the Turks and face the sabre or betray us and face getting shot in the face. Why choose us over them?’

‘I gambled here.....I’d rather be loyal to someone fighting the slavers for freedom than the slaver themselves.’ Flynn braced himself for another hit, but the hit never came.

Instead he could hear a chuckle from the Sicilian leader, who had gestured his goon to stand down. He approached Flynn and held him by the cheek, saying in thick accent, ’Felino. That’s your name from now on. Felino the crooked nose. Drinks on the house, all night. Keep the drinks up, you’ll be richer than the sultan come morning. Good boy.’

The leader, or don as they were calling him now, lightly tapped his cheek and went back to his place, settling down with the Gent and the other goons. Flynn left the room and almost crumpled on the floor. I could’ve died there, he thought for a second. Nevertheless, he composed himself and put on his charm; Felino the crooked nose had a job to do.

Ha, the duke of Weselton’s such a bastard, always stirring up shit wherever he goes lol. I love the potential his character has.

Our Man Flynn is serving the big boys now! What could happen?

Thanks again to those who continue reading this silly story :P

As always, constructive feedback is always welcome!

#frozen #frozenxtangled #frozen tangled #eugene tangled #tangled fandom #tangled fanfiction #frozen fanfiction #frozen fanfic #frozen fandom #frozen agnarr #agnarr #chief mathias #Yelena frozen 2 #duke of weselton

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glopratchet · 4 years ago

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only you can decide Year 60 "Remember, according to his former students, what Tarkin lacked in empathy he made up ten times over with strategic vision Well, Sixous? Are you seeing the analogues here amongst the contestants? Surely someone as obviously intelligent as yourself can make the connection well enough to tell us which systems to attack first By the way, would you prefer I address to call you Mads or professor?" "I honestly don't give a rat's tail at this point count I am merely humoring you because my colleagues insist on maintaining at least some autonomy in our dying days as a free nation It's like a cachectic patient who has been given a few weeks to live, we've seen what the future holds as far as the caliphate is concerned Ever since that Cow assassinated our former dear Ms Warnovitch we've had to endure wave after wave of these blood-crazed fanatics carrying out horrifying suicide attacks by day and then being executed by those muscular mustached men by night And to think I was actually impressed by their ideological purity during my trip to Kalhu Huang when we attempted to stay in the good graces of our allied nation If only we could've made peace with those monsters *snort* and survived under joint fascism as intended perhaps we wouldn't be in the crumbling situation were in right now *sniff* or maybe aha! Yes! I spoke to soon it seems! By attacking us they have run out of time and the greedy hand of capitalism has destroyed them as it's done before and it will do again!" "If you're finished by posing a rightwinger speech, I'm afraid we don't have time for a diagnostic, your former queen has completely ruined her nation through state control and managed to anger every one around her it's time guys Be on your guard, I've taken down the stealth system for now but they'll probably get it back online soon Just keep alert and do not head to the surface unless yourselves or someone else comes under direct attack, travel to the planet is still not safe No promises though, their high-tech protective fields are making things difficult They may have noticed us already and are just sitting back observing before striking Well, let's begin today's atrocities Discordians, Scientologists worship of the unholy lottery you call "trickle down" will not lead them to victory over the oppressed masses! Long live the revolution! Praise Cthulhu! I'm cutting out now " "What a mad man! I always thought he was evil but reading that he's actually gone mental Poor old Count Grey was right I'm surprised they've bought into such superstition " Count grey is explaining to the rest of the council room "I imagine they're desperate for hope and peace my good friend " Replies Elizabeth "Well you can tell them that *Snort* hope and *snort* peace won't be *Hic!* happening any time soon (hic!) Anyway I guess we *hic*! should get this *hic*! started before I'm too drunk to care! Too *hic*! late anyway fine You lot! Yes you! The big fella, smart one, ugly one and woman what the hell are you doing here still!? get out there and show those cthul Mongols why they shouldn't threaten airships! Except you *hic*! you lovely woman come here and give this old man a kiss!" Elizabeth tries to walk away in disgust but Grey holds out an arm and prevents her Ardanovich, Stravinsky and Tavenier laugh "You won't be laughing when society falls into anarchy because your high and mighty ideals didn't allow you to compromise for the greater good because you wanted to hang out with fat drunk greedy old men who can't control their vices! You're supposed to be a professional! You, the intellectual mind guiding the royal society of learned individuals! What ever happened to the pursuit of knowledge!? The research to better mankind? *Sigh* I give up " "Wait! Where are you going?" they ask as you abruptly stand up to leave This is a waste of time and your purpose here no longer matters now that Calvin has abandoned the research platform "We're not finished here!" "No, but you are I'm leaving and I'm sure if Count Grey was fit he would likely do the same I've got more important matters to concern myself with now Thank you for your time Good day You walk away from the open-mouthed 'leaders' of Centopoulos' last arcology His body may be dead, but the information you received from Calvin should keep you occupied for a while Let Count Grey and his Societies worry about the coming Mongolian hordes There is one thing that annoys you about Calvins note There are more important matters The bit where he tells you to meet him at his arcology It just seems like too much of a risk and you doubt if you'd be able to withstand an entire assault team from the Spetsnaz if they provoked such a visit You decide to just use his research and take none of his advice on this occasion He is no longer here, and he won't be here in the future He exists only in the past now --- Praise cool water for quenching thirst and quick relief from the intense sunlight as you cross the sun baked sands in search of your next potential customer You look around again Nothing but sand, sky, cactii and your hoverbike for as far as the eye can see At least you won't have to worry about highway tolls It's desolate out here You hope you bump into someone soon You have food and water for a few days, but you'd rather find your next mark in much less time Catalina's wandering seemed to be paying off Her idea of leaving a major city without telling anyone and travelling out into the vast nothingness of the world outside it's boundaries had proven itself to be correct Afterall, how could you expect to find people if you never left the city walls? Most people travelling by hoverbike preferred sticking to the major roads that could take them anywhere their hearts desired Not many dared riding out into the untamed wilderness, and those that did certainly sought freedom from the rigid rules and bureaucracies of the city-state they came from Farmers sitting on untapped oil fields also went out to the wild parts of the world, but that wasn't your concern and you steered clear of such individuals for fear of being mistaken for a oil prospector The wasteland of untamed wilderness was a haven for desperate types, loners and those trying to escape the law Some were good people, some you figured were bad Most were probably somewhere in between your general average Anywho, it didn't matter You were in need of assistance of some kind, just like them In fact, struggling folks might go out of their way to help someone in need due to their own humble origins as opposed to some fat cat city slicker Whether or not this proved to be the case didn't matter to you What DID matter was finding people who required your assistance and getting a steady supply of creds in your account at the end of each month You hoped that you actually found these types out here because while you had a two month supply of food and water, that wasn't really the sort of thing you wanted to be carrying around while you looked for potential marks That was a quick way to contract all sorts of diseases and not really merchant like at all Fortunately, you'd found a few potential marks within the first week of your travels through the desert and were on your way to meet with them today No reason to waste time though, so you took off early Who knows what sort of ghosts or demons from the past you'd encounter if you left things to chance by staying around the campfire too late! First potential customer was an older but strong Terran woman who ran a little farm on the corner of her husband's family property They were Terra-born and had been living on this planet for several generations You found them via asking around town and following your HUD map to their marker According to records, they owned quite a bit of fertile land with good soil Their earnings from the local cooperative weren't too bad either, so you figured you'd at least meet with them The second encounter was more exciting While trudging through sand dunes to find the path to their property in this big circle around town, you ran into a group traveling by SUV Four younger people were in it and they seemed excited to commandeer your help! Seems their vehicle had broken down and they needed to get it back to a garage in town Scanning it with your eyes and using your special vision as an EQ gave you an idea of what was wrong immediately Of course, using your magic to animate the machine's components and getting it to rights wasn't really a simple process You could tell the four were shocked by your ability to heal their broken down ride just by twiddling your fingers When it was fixed, they were all smiles and flirted with you on the way back By the time you made it back to the inn where you were staying for the night, they'd invited you out for a drink and to celebrate their new-found operational vehicle You turned them down of course, but it goes to show that there are some nice folks out here Especially when they have the ability to acquire free transportation without much effort at all! That only leaves part of a day before your meeting with the Terran family for possibilities of work Maybe you'll see if the SUV gang wants to hang out and drink tonight They seem like an upbeat bunch Not much else to do so you scan the shipyard and surrounding areas again with your x-ray vision and secret identity protocols in place Seeing nothing out of the ordinary sets your mind at ease and allows you to concentrate on vamping yourself up for the night ahead Oh yeah, and don't forget, you need to get the gate code from those workers! Making use of your affluence, you go out and buy the fanciest, most Italian leather wallet you can find to hold the three IDs you have made thus far Later when you're in costume, no one will ever know you're packing around fake-ID in a wallet Then it's off to get a suit! Of course, while you were busy pumping iron and perfecting your abilities, everyone else was working and earning so suits aren't cheap anymore! You have to spend a small fortune to outfit yourself in order to fit in With all that out of the way, you take a second to focus on the spell you're going to use for your physical transformation tonight before bundling yourself into an overcoat and heading out the door Ah well, maybe Chris can spot you the cost later The last thing you want is to have people see you without clothes on! The walk to the shipyards is a short one and when you get there, you see several ships fitting the description given to you They're large seacrafts capable of carrying at least a half-dozen vehicles each so you have no doubt that the Terran Republic sent a decent part of their fleet to this planet Re-policing the downtrodden is a thankless job, but you suppose they need to do it Grabbing a piece of metal lying around, you skim over to one ship in particular that seems to be in charge of the fleet Poking your head in the open doorway, your x-ray gaze immediately locates the captain lounging in a desk on the other side of the room "Hey!" He snaps to attention when he sees you "Who are you? This is a restricted area!" Putting on your best smile, you make your way to the man "Greetings sir! I apologize for the intrusion, I am Agent G603C of the Inter-Global Meet and Greet association I was just wondering if you needed a tour guide while you're here " The man seems confused at first, but seemed to understand when he took a good look at your clothing and then back to your grinning face He scratches his chin a bit before speaking again I'll bite Why should I hire your services?" " " okay because we're the best!" Comes a shout from without You hadn't noticed the shill outside, but you can hear his voice perfectly!--Well no duh, you magically increased your lung capacity when you raised on your coat after all! "Ten-percent off if you sign up now!" Who said advertising doesn't work? The man seems more than a little interested by this You can see dollar signs in his eyes already "Okay then, if he's the best then I'll take him!" He calls to the shill without looking Guess he trusts that you won't try anything in front of his employee but don't think I won't report you if you cause any trouble! We're here on business after all " He finishes with a frown You nod--well as much of a nod as you can with your new found physique that is "Come on, I'll take you to meet the engineers--they're always looking for human contact " He finishes You shoot him a cheeky grin in response He takes you through several hallways and up (and down) a few ladders until you finally come to what appears to be some sort of machine housing "These are the engineers He says simply before turning to leave and head back up "Remember, you break stuff, you buy it!" You hear before the elevator lifts him from view You turn to look at two men staring at their computer screens with intense concentration One notices you first "Who the hell are you?" He grunts not looking away from his screen The other man takes more interest and looks you up and down critically--More like physically--before talking "Huh, not bad for a bureaucrat " You don't take his low-brow comment too much to heart, the only criterion for being in the engineering department is an Ego greater than 0 Still, you'd rather be complimented on your outfit so you ignore his statement and go straight to the point "You were recommended to me as the ones to talk to about fixing the ship " You say with practiced politeness "Well then Time to turn on the water works, bullies are easy to tame when they think you're weak You know enough of their personality type that you can get away with murdering them if need be, but ideally you won't have to Easier to get away with things if there aren't too many witnesses after all "B-b-but I don't know what I'm doing!" You protest stuttering "One of you could get hurt!" You quickly try a different tactic when you see the sadistic grins on their faces, new bullies are easy to tame when they think you're a fragile flower Just act timid and meek and most likely they'll take pity They probably ran out of servants to harass long ago maybe you've found your real talent? "Don't worry so much my little bureaucratic friend, just try not to hit any important gauges or anything " He laughs pushing you towards the ship "You start on the right side and make your way around, and be careful with the power tools, don't want an accident now do we?" And without waiting for an answer he shoves you inside Meekly accepting your role you head inside and begin searching for the things that will make the perfect gemstones It takes a few hours, but you make one full lap of the machine housing and find one single gem in the rubble It must not have been important to the machine for it to be abandoned like that, though the engineers didn't seem to notice--or care Clink A small piece of metal lands on the off-colored tile flooring and bounces a few times before settling down You pick it up and examine the small bit that held so much potential If you'd had this from the start, you might have been given a real purpose Well no use crying over spilled milk, or abandoned gemstones in this case But what now? You have a small pendant with an uncut ruby the size of a marble This lonely gem has little to no value alone, and you've just spent the past several hours dismantling the cooling machine that was housing it for you If you were a betting man, you'd say that the engineers are probably going to notice their handy work is missing a part before too long So if you were a betting man, you'd say to get out while you still can Though perhaps there's another option? You think to yourself Once more back on the streets, you ponder the options before you With a closer eye this time, you notice there's even a store that sells some of the equipment you saw in Escaperym science fiction movies There's no uniforms like in the movie, but nowadays clothing is so standardized it's practically a uniform anyway Though you suppose that these would stand out and draw attention What if the bad guys find out you stole from them? Just an added bonus of taking the gems, though you suppose this does bring up an important question: Just who are the bad guys here anyway? You're just pondering your shadow problems when you burst into Hospitality Suite 206B Tanya looks up f rom her desk and raises an eyebrow "When did your facial recognition software update?" She jests "Technology that doesn't rely on stupid wristbands works every time, unlike some people I could mention," you respond You rummage through your pockets before pulling out a small wine glass with the gems sitting in a red powder She gasps in surprise "And I thought I was the last one " She walks over to you, dodging stray notebooks on the floor, and sniffs the contents of the glass vial "Have you considered what we spoke about?" She asks confidently "Yes " You respond in a morose voice Her cheeks flush red in response as the sclera of her eyes begin to show more white A side effect of not enough oxygen reaching her brain, she's infuriated by your response "Why do you insist on being difficult? Must I spoon feed all my plans to you?" "Probably," You respond bitterly with a smirk You know how much she hates that But something's different this time Her anger seems almost Playful? She grabs you by the collar and pulls close to her face, staring into your eyes You can smell the prawns she had for lunch And hers are gorgeous "Right then," Her voice has suddenly dropped an octave sending a chill down your spine, "It's time to bring you into the fold Will you join me or not?" "Are those my only options?" You test She pulls away from you and begins tapping on her desk's computer After a few moments the tapping stops She looks up at you and says, "It would appear you only have two options: Death and service " She then stares at you expectantly You look into her eyes as a multitude of thoughts run through your head Three years ago You read the ransom note for what must be the hundredth time: "We have your brother Retrieve the gem in our possession and return it to us, and he shall be released unharmed The Red Scales rarely extend such generous offers, so do not disappoint — Lord Vladi That name is vaguely familiar, but you know you've heard it before "Argh! When word of this gets out he's posthumously pissing off the entire Thieves Guild Not that he needs more motivation to do so already You have a lot to contemplate and your throbbing head is getting in the way of doing so Besides, sleep is your friend right now " Does Dad's name mean anything to you? Should it? You're so tired Several days later You slowly wake up from an uneasy sleep Just as you're about to get up, the taste in your mouth reminds you why you needed to sleep in the first place Sighing, you sit up and see exactly what caused you to sleep in so late An oxygen tank sits on the floor next to your nightstand, empty, discarded tubing hanging uselessly That explains why you've woken up feeling refreshed even after sleeping this long Speaking of sleep, Mom's asleep in the recliner in the corner, snoring softly The newest model iPad sits closed on her lap and you don't have to guess whose it is Looking around, you see that the fire in the living room has long since died out Your tongue realizes this before your mind does A dry mouth results in shallow, rapid pupils—all a side effect of mild Sherlockcoholism You cough as a tickle in your throat forces you to grab your inhaler, take it with the taste of ramenthol With newfound deep breaths of air through your lungs, you go to survey the damage done last night The mini liquor bottles strewn about the floor and nearby coffee table all confirm your guesswork You examine the mess as you try to recall what happened last night Long ago, a woman gave you a mysterious manila envelope Within it were clippings of negative reviews that Dad's organization or one of it's subordinates had written for Glip Magazine, in which she wrote for Getting drunk off your own supply, you confronted Mom about it At some point after that, the both of you and Sister were arguing in the back room when you started throwing wild accusations at each other—you don't remember what exactly, though Eventually, things got too intense and someone—you have no idea who—set the fire Why not use the front door? The hell if you know The family adheres to strict rules about "ganging up" on another, but you don't think anyone's going to give the matter a second thought in light of the fact that someone died Let's see who died? Death then Your lazy eyes scan the living room, spotting a pair of half-finished dice and some playing cards mixed in among the mess on the floor The game must not have been going well since as you continue to look for other signs of it, you don't see any lying about Is this the way greed goes? Hardly fun when it results in dead bodies; or only one in this case Not counting the one upstairs, obviously—his soul has already moved on as far as you're concerned In any case, Dad should be up by now You'd all but forgotten about it since you avoided home and he never left the place You half wonder if he undid it just to come see you in private, but either way He catches his breath as you move towards him, hanging back and giving a little smile He returns it with a sad one before speaking Dad: I guess you saw everything, huh? You: Yeah, how could I not? Dad: I suppose you have a point I think it's best if you heard it directly from me that, I'm no longer part of the family but, that's pretty much it Dad'll still take care of you all I should be mad since this all started with such a lie but, in all honesty, I'm happy he's free of Mom if only because Melancholia will follow Well, soon anyway Of course, you can't say that I mean, you didn't like Glip and home anymore You: Well It's probably for the best So, I'm really happy for you, Dad Wish we could have celebrated this together when it happened Dad: It's okay, Junior Your sister seemed to jump to conclusions about what I told you She just lied to all of you about the details because she didn't want you all mad at me I didn't even need to speak about anything when you got here, really A simple nod would have been fine You: Wait She knew you lied? Dad: Yeah, and apparently there were others at home that knew as well Oh, you know how feelings get hurt easily around the holidays Anyway, your Mom was really upset about It all Truth be told, so was I I didn't want to continue the feud, but if I thought it would make your mom even mildly happy, I would have done a lot more You: What? You were willing to bend backwards for Mom but not us?! Dad: No!! Not like that! Look The feud didn't make anybody happy and I was always willing to put a stop to all of it But your mother? She thought stopping meant everything went back to exactly the way it had been before He lets out a dry chuckle before scratching at his unkept beard He looks into the distance as he recalls all of this Dad: Unfortunately I couldn't do that Or, maybe I just didn't want to The feud was dumb, yeah But the times leading up to it, and everything involving it Made me the man I am today And I wouldn't take any of it back if it meant losing your mother Dad: Oh, she would deny it up and down if you asked her right now Even got so far to claim that I was the bad one in our relationship! Which is complete and utter bunk Though, another lie she told was that all this happened because I wanted kids and she didn't Which contradicts the original starting point of this mess You: Wait You didn't want kids? Dad: Well, no Not really I mean, I like you to some extent and I'm sure that if I had my choice our family would be getting a new addition rather than the conflict that started all this You: But Why didn't you tell her then? Dad: I did! I told her multiple times! She knew from the very beginning that I wasn't interested in being a father Honestly, why she wanted so bad to have a kid with me is beyond me I just chalked it up to her being young and adventurous, as well as idealistic Your mother always had these brilliant dreams I wasn't exactly against them I was just content of where I was and knew I wouldn't achieve anything greater by playing some army wife or work in an office job Of course, that's only my opinion I suppose this was one of those moments for her Your mother holds equally high ideals but has always managed to take bigger risks than I have Eventually your father falls silent and the two of you enter the house He grabs his things and bids you goodbye As he makes his way to the exit he stops for a moment and looks behind him to see you by the doorway Dad: Just don't be like me or her son Be better than both of us You have so much potential Whatever you do in life, be motivated for it Don't just exist He suggests the school since his parents are making him take his little sister to her kindergarten class He's already there when you arrive, standing in the middle of the playground equipment grid You try to start a conversation You: Sooo What's going on? You wanted to see me? Alan: Yeah, I'm bored of thinking about the game we're going to make I think we should make an online massive multiplayer shooter instead! That'd be way cooler there isn't a lot you can do in that genre alone I'd be fine with it if we made a turn based strategy game You could be doing something like that right now, why haven't you started already? Alan: I'll get to it later Anyways, you should know that Chris and Owen blabbed to the rest of the school about what we were going to do Everyone is super hyped about it They're all saying how they wouldn't mind a newschool shutting down if it was shut down because our game was better than any public school You: Did they really have to say all that? Now I'm really nervous about doing this now! They expect so much now Alan: It's ok You'll be fine And those two are an exception, trust me The jocks are always loud in the first place, but deep down they're really nice, supportive guys The popular girls are a little awkward at times but they're cute and cool so that makes up for it Everyone is eager on this project, so it isn't really a problem finding help Alan tells you that it will take several meetings before you can actually start fine tuning the idea you'll want to go on with He recommends going out somewhere to just talk more there instead of doing it all on Facebook chat You decide that The Corner Cafe would probably be good for this sort of talk If not there, then maybe you could go rent a hotel room or something if it really comes down to needing privacy You: Actually for now, just pick somewhere quiet that we can speak privately Alan: Ooo! How about the school? It's empty now seeing as it's summertime and most students are gone We could sneak into the digital art building once they leave and get to work! Just gotta hide out until nightfall You in? After about 15 minutes the school is in sight The entire drive you also noticed Alan WAS texting, mostly to Allison and random google searches about green screens and other things, a few times he showed you the results on his phone You really didn't want to know what he was up to Still not sure "Alan!" you yell over the music while nearing the school He takes it down a few notches coincidentally when you wanted it to be quieter "Why the heck are we going to the school?" Alan: "Hm? You said to pick a private place to speak, where better than my school? As my Gamer I trust you realize how this will help our upcoming project " You: "You realize if we get caught it could hurt thatproject don't you?" Alan: "Nah Don't worry about that If we get caught problems solved " You mull his words over in your mind for a while Makes sense, you ARE his problem after all "Alright Fine " You answer with a frown Alan's face lights up and he turns the music up before beckoning you to follow him out of the car; he seems pretty happy with himself Which makes you feel a bit creeped out tbh Either way you follow him to a back door into the school where he pulls out his phone and unlocks it You think you see him use an app of some sort before the door clicks open He tosses the phone to you and you catch it in reflex, then he pulls you inside a lit hallway He immediately starts jabbering on about the precautions he took and how there is no way that anyone can pin anything on him for sneaking you in or whatever You just nod at everything which causes him to do a double take before shrugging and returning to his ramblings tbqh The walk to the Digital Arts Building is uneventful Along the way you read some comments on his post, a few persecute him for bringing in a 'Renegade' but he just downs them with a couple of insults followed by a taunt for them to try reading the basics of grammer Others seem pretty chill about the whole thing and just talk about things The discussions are pretty interesting for the most part, you make a mental note destroy Alan if he turns into some weird cultist surrounded by troll accounts Really though it does confirm what you thought, Derris-Kharlan has some serious mind control going on You can either put up with it and live a slightly different life or overcome that by yourself and live happy but alone Maybe you could have something in between?

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rebeccahpedersen · 8 years ago

Text

What Can You Get Away With In This Market?

TorontoRealtyBlog

A lot, apparently.

And with every passing day, sellers and listing agents are pushing the boundaries more and more, and getting both more creative, and more brave.

It’s a seller’s market, and it’s red hot, so buyers have to make some concessions. But let me give you three examples of where I think enough is enough…

We don’t live in a perfect world.

Far from it, in fact.

We have big problems, and little problems.

And when we take little problems, and turn them into big problems, like the President of the United States Tweeting about his unfair portrayal on a satirical late-night show, instead of, you know – running the country, it often feels like things are getting worse and worse.

In the world of Toronto real estate, the vibe thus far in 2017 has been extremely negative.

The outlook is “positive” by definition, in that prices will continue to rise – that’s always been the measure of a “good” market.

But buyers have never been more discouraged, and it’s not just because of prices.

Prices are one of those “big problems” I alluded to above.

Nothing impacts a buyer’s search greater than price, and nowhere can a buyer be hurt more than by that holy dollar figure.

We often have the “little problems” in real estate, like that unpaid hydro bill the seller left behind – only $120, which is annoying, but small relative to the purchase of an $800,000 asset.

Lately, I’ve been seeing a lot of these “little problems” popping up where they shouldn’t, or in many cases, being intentionally or deliberately saddled upon the buyer, by the seller, or the listing agent.

Have you ever closed on a house and found garbage left behind by the previous owner?

That’s one of those “little problems” and while it’s really annoying, and inconsiderate, it’s not going to kill you.

Many times, the listing agent will apologize and try to make things right.

Many times, the listing agent doesn’t return your call or email.

I always say that it all washes out, in the end. What goes around comes around. Bad things happen to bad sellers, and bad agents, on a long enough time horizon, and agents and buyers/sellers that treat people fairly, and with dignity, ultimately persevere.

A house came onto the market last week that was clearly an estate sale, as it had that “feeling” that somebody was living here up until a few weeks or months ago. It’s always sad to see; it’s like time just stopped, and the evidence remains.

This house was in very poor shape, and it was full of items from the departed owner. Most of the appliances were decades old, and probably didn’t work, and while this was far from a hoarder house, it wasn’t exactly empty.

The backyard, and the area where there looked to be a back parking pad, was full of debris – old bricks, wooden planks, broken fence pieces, etc.

This is the kind of property where, as a buyer’s agent, you have to ensure you include a clause specifying that the seller has to remove all these items before closing. The old “broom swept condition” clause is not sufficient anymore – you have to detail that every single piece of furniture, junk, debris, and any and all items on the property that are not included in the “Chattels & Fixtures” portion of the Agreement are to be removed.

So here I am, on Sunday afternoon, minding my own business, when I get an email from the listing agent of this property, as follows:

Well how ’bout that.

The house is full of junk and garbage, and the listing agent is emailing all the buyer agents to let them know that the seller “prefers” offers were the furniture remains.

And let’s be clear – this is not “furniture;” this is garbage. None of these items would ever be used, by anybody, except the person who lived in that house. The Salvation Army or Habitat For Humanity would never take these pieces, and I believe that the “furniture” the listing agent is speaking of, refers to EVERYTHING on the property, including all the debris.

So is this the kind of market we’re in?

Is this what you can get away with in this market?

The seller and listing agent are dealing from a position of strength; they know that they’ll have multiple offers on this property, probably 5-6 as a floor. So they know that a buyer, in competition, will do just about anything to get the property, and thus they’re saying, “Take this house, and all the sh!t that comes with it.”

And what is a buyer to do?

Say “no,” and risk the seller and/or the agent going to the next highest bidder, and seeing if he or she will play ball?

A contrarian viewpoint here is that it’s a seller’s market, it’s a free market, and we’re capitalists – so go for the jugular if you can.

But I think some basic human decency goes a long way.

And it’s no coincidence that this email was sent at 12:48pm, when offers were due at 4pm.

–

I have another incredible story from this past week, and any agent reading this will be quite familiar with the uproar this caused.

Then again, so too will many of you would-be buyers, who were either told about this, or saw it yourselves.

“Bully offers” are a rather contentious topic right now, and for good reason.

When a property is listed on Monday, January 23rd, and the listing reads, “offers will be reviewed on Tuesday, January 31st,” we would all like to think that offers will, in fact, be reviewed on that day. But we all know there’s a 50/50 chance a bully offer will come in on Monday the 23rd or Tuesday the 24th, with a 3-hour deadline, and the listing agent and seller will decide to move the “offer date” up.

No buyer likes to get that call or email from their agent saying, “Hey, I know we thought we had another six days to mull this one over, but they’re taking offers on 123 Smith Street tonight, so you guys have to make a quick decision.”

But that call or email is happening every single day in this city.

Or, at least, that call or email should happen whenever there is a bully offer.

You see, the listing agent, when reviewing or deciding to work with a bully offer, or “pre-emptive offer” for those of you that like to call garbage-men “sanitation specialists,” has to inform every agent who has, as the rule goes, “expressed an interest in the property.”

So if you’re an agent who has shown the property, or booked a showing on the property, the agent has to call you to tell you about the existence of the bully offer, and the seller’s intention to move up the offer date.

Beyond that, we can define “expressed an interest in the property” however we like.

If a buyer agent hasn’t booked a showing, but has emailed the listing agent to say, “Please keep me in the loop regarding any bully offers,” then I think that qualifies.

In any event, I was browsing new listings last Wednesday, and just when I thought I had seen it all, I saw this:

Well, then!

There’s a new one!

If that’s not a giant middle finger waving in your face, then I don’t know what it is.

The gall of this agent, honestly.

I have no idea what he or she was thinking.

And within 24 hours, this was removed from the listing. Apparently, there were more than a few complaints to the broker of record at this agent’s company, and I would assume there were RECO complaints, but doing something about this six months from now probably wouldn’t have helped…

So I ask again: is this something you can get away with in this market?

In this case, the answer was “no,” but it didn’t stop somebody from trying. And if the market weren’t as hot as it was, and as fast-paced and hectic as it is, nobody would have tried this.

–

For my last story, I have no accompanying artwork, so you’ll just have to read like people used to do for sport…

A colleague of mine made an offer on a condo this weekend – a soft loft, that two years ago, would have garnered a modest amount of interest, but in January of 2017, basically stopped traffic in the west end.

He put together an offer knowing that there were six competing offers, as explained to him by the listing agent, and his price, terms, and conditions reflected that information – that there were six competing offers.

After a few hours, the listing agent called him and said, “Sorry, but we’re going with one of the other offers.”

My colleague asked her, “Are you working with one, or two – what are you doing? How are you handling it?” He was trying to figure out where he stood, and if he had a shot at sneaking back in.

The agent said, “Well with nineteen offers, you’re not really close – you’re like 6th or 7th down the line, so we’re going to work with the top two.”

My colleague just about lost his mind.

“Nineteen offers,” you say? Asked my colleague, calmly, and matter-of-factly. “My offer of $650,000 was predicated on the fact that there were six competing offers,” he added.

The listing agent didn’t seem to have much of a response.

My colleague simply asked, “What the hell?”

“These offers,” said the listing agent, “They just kept coming! People submitted offers that I hadn’t even talked to; that I had no idea were interested in the property.”

In the listing agent’s mind, that somehow alleviated him of the responsibility to keep every agent informed, and up to date.

But just because a job is hard, doesn’t mean you don’t have to do it.

When I have a listing with multiple offers, each time a subsequent offer is registered, I email every single agent with an offer, and tell them.

It’s very easy.

I go to my “Sent Items,” find the last email that said there were four registered offers, with the four agents and their emails on there, then change “four” to “five,” add the new agent, and VOILA!

Ten seconds.

It takes ten seconds.

And the last time I had a property with multiple offers, this is exactly what I did.

And more to the point, when one of the seven agents with registered offers pulled out, and rescinded his offer, I went and told the other six agents, and asked them if this would change where they stood.

Nobody changed their offers, of course.

But what if you had two registered offers, and the first agent presented an offer above the asking price, and then the second agent withdrew? Shouldn’t that agent, who submitted an offer over-asking, based on being in competition, be able to revise the offer and come in at a lower price?

“Yes” is the obvious answer.

So why should it be any different when my colleague presents an offer based on the knowledge of six competing offers, when in the end, there were eighteen?

–

Folks, I know it’s easy for the real estate haters to come out now be armed with the ammunition they’ve been waiting for.

My intent is not to arm them.

But my intent, as it always has been, is to be open, honest, and transparent about the goings on in Toronto real estate.

I’m not here to tow the industry line, nor am I going to pretend that everything in day-to-day real estate is perfect.

But I am trying to inform you all of what’s happening, and what you need to be on the lookout for.

Times are really tough out there, and the market is complex.

A lot of people are trying to see what they can get away with, and you need to look out for that.

If something doesn’t seem right – like a “for sale by owner” demanding that the deposit cheque be made out to him or her personally, rather than be held in a real estate brokerage or lawyer’s trust account, then walk away.

Keep reading, keep learning.

And good luck!

The post What Can You Get Away With In This Market? appeared first on Toronto Real Estate Property Sales & Investments | Toronto Realty Blog by David Fleming.

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