#but aside from that its pretty great
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AURGH auwarghh the autistic parental trauma... the epi was wacky hijinks then dropped this on us out of nowhere... (sobs) laios... laiiiiooooos
#he just like me fr#dungeon meshi#laios touden#actuallyautistic#aphelion.txt#dunmeshi#laios#autism things#im definitely chewing on that marcille lore/angst too but the laios nightmare sequence hit close to home!!#dont think falin had a great relationship with their parents either#i mean aside from being willing to abandon her in the dream. idk if that's 100% accurate to how they acted.#it didnt seem like her affinity for ghosts was gonna go down real good in that flashback#also i need to write that post abt how falin has girl autism (dont ask me what that means unless you want to enter an unskippable cutscene)#actually its pretty easy to hit most dunmeshi chars w the hammer of autism laios is just the most obvious#senshi hyperfixating and having meltdowns (Waterwalk Incident.) and low empathy for people until he's gotten Attached#i need to go find that post someone made about chilchuck being the token allistic it was so fucking funny#i have like 3 more dunmeshi autism metas in my mental queue apparently. please make me shut up
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A while back, I posted about how, as much as I think EA has a terrible business model with the number of DLCs they make, I liked having my lady sims have babies together in the sims 4. Well, since then, I've noticed into the future EP lets you make babies artificially in the sims 3 (my preferred game). Thus far the legacy household I'm trying to do is only gay couples. I've never been happier.
#my sims can have all the babies they want#okay well only draw back is that hair and eye colour isnt combined from both sims and you just sorta pick it#but aside from that its pretty great#if only i had the full potential to make butch lesbians like i do in the sims 4#sims 3#sims 4#sims#lesbian#gay
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I mean aside from the mention of titans what about this expansion says charr?
?? I didnt say it was a charr expansion either. if anything it's gonna be white mantle/mursaat/shining blade expansion which i think is something no one has asked for.
#aside from the entire ash legion Imperator being involved.#the titans are a pretty big enemy for the charr specifically.#if you want anything to point towards a charr expac.#i dont think it will be lmao#anet doesnt like humans to share#also i think all the people who want more info on the mursaat may have forgotten that the shining blade#and more specifically! anise and livia!#are their sworn enemies#which means we're going to be seeing these two much more#which is great for me#i love livia and anise is a bastard and i love bastard women#anyways. im not getting my hopes up for norn connection or charr connection#but at least my imperator is there :)#technically braham is there also.#bc of that one screenshot#hes standing with one of knut's sons#and i can also see queen jennah with anise in the bg#which leads me to believe theres gonna be a meeting with the world leaders for some reason.#isgarren is there.#so you can imagine its gonna go as well as the world summit.
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trying not to think too hard about how quickly a certain art site that shall not be named went downhill the second they started doing their opt-in/out bullshit
#ive got a baaaad feeling about this.mp3#anyway i dk man idk. idk what im gonna do about my art blog aside from sitting tight and observing#i havent been able to draw regularly for another chunk of months and its pretty fuckin hard to feel motivated to lmao#idk im gonna be observing but im not feeling good about the state of the internet#just when i started my swtor blog and spent hours on a new character page lmaoo this is not gonna help me finish it#opt-in by default is bullshit and ppl gave a whole lot of shit to dA for pulling that shit and they changed to opt-out by default BUT#but even with that deviantart went to shit SO bad. so im not feeling good about it lads#i ougtha try and see what i can do with that neocities account i made but. yknow.#i nuked my dA account! Lost every comment anyone ever posted on my art over all those formative years! aint that great :''')#and some tags on tumblr are already ruined like the diorama tag? ruined. im depressed#anyway that staff statement is spineless and an omen
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me and my sister went to the mall today and we ran into hot topic so fucking fast it was unbelievable. me and my sister are literal opposites when it comes to fashion. she picked pink, pastel shit like she was trying to be all uwu kawaii meanwhile im just standing here with my arms full of emo and goth shit, i legit felt like daigo and masato with all this emo drip i had walked out with. (p.s. they should put yakuza stuff in hot topic if they havent already because i have yet to have any yakuza related things in my room </3 also hot topic is like the only store i will shop at)
im so sorry to say these words to you but reading this reminded me of my immortal
#snap chats#I ALSO HAVE NO ROOM TO TALK THOUGH CAUSE I LITERALLY JUST GOT BACK FROM HOT TOPIC AND SPENCERSLKEAKVJA#rubbing off my fucking eyeliner as we speak im no better than a goffick and im sure the stuff you got was actually real fire and im jealous#i actually wore my hakuho pin out today- i pinned it on my back jean jacket. not to flex on you or anything 🥴#i remember the day my college friend said something about me being goth and i looked like a dumbass saying 'im not goth...'#when all i ever did was wear black. and tbf i toned it down a LOT while i was at school. i wanted to be normal-passing 😭😭#that aside i only went in to get jewelry and a new belt chain. also a kirby keychain and nail polish#but like it was that Blackheart brand so you know i just wanted it for the skull container and the name. also i was running out#my hot topic really doesnt have any clothes- or at least clothes i fuck with like its mostly skirts and puffy-sleeved shirts#and yeah those are epic and awesome but they're not my style yk. love it on other people just not on me#i usually get my clothes from like. express or skate shops. very different fashions as you can see LMAOOO#like today i got this really pretty crane shirt and then like. i got a black-and-white striped long sleeve with a skeleton hand patch LMAO#UGH im pissed i didnt get the red and black variant too but i didnt think bout it til i already left#i want to get new boots- the ones i have now are great and i love them but i want something chunkier#my 'goth' fashion is really lowkey honestly like i hardly consider myself goth cause of it- its very casual ig#ignore the fuck-you amount of rings i wear ok. theyre pretty..... also they have certain meanings sometimes#like i wear an owl ring cause it reminds me of my sis since she loved owls growing up and went to a uni with an owl mascot#i wear a dragon ring sometimes cause dragons remind me of my dad. for whatever reason.#idk its cause he tried to convince me i was born year of the dragon when i wasnt ?? idk funny guy lmao#and then i already said i wore snake stuff and crosses cause I Hate My Mom. also i was born a snake#also my dads a christian so :] i will wear two cross rings and a cross necklace tyvm love you pops i wish you were around more#uhhh did i want to say anything else. idk im just dumping about my emo bullshit thanks for reading ☠️☠️#if this wasnt my yakuza blog id actually just show the haul i got today BUT i will spare you lot from my emo bullshit#ok ill kill the tags here now im SILLY
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[the faint sound of many small bells heralds a new message] Heya Daz! It's been a little while since we last spoke! I got wrapped up in this and that and it led me away from observing for a little while, sorry about that. Or welcome for it, since I'm aware you aren't a terribly big fan of us seeing your every move. You're just too fun! I /gotta/ keep coming back. Though it does feel, perhaps, a little exploitative... but all the best entertainment is! I wonder, do you remember me? I hope so.
Daz just barely manages to stop himself from screaming.
Prime fucking damnit; the last thing he needs is to have another of his fanclub poking at him when he feels so volatile.
Before he speaks, he takes a moment to exhale and gather on his years of acting under pressure. "Chime. I see you have a new calling card."
Rich that they know how much he hates being watched and how exploitative watching him for entertainment is…and yet don't seem to actually care about his feelings on the matter.
You're a hypocrite, comes the sneering voice in his own head. You manipulate your so-called friends all the time– to say nothing of everyone else! You fuck with other people just because you can.
He doesn't need a fucking lecture from someone who wanted to commit a genocide, thanks. The peanut gallery can go back to shutting up.
Awfully rude way to talk to someone whose help you need. What help could he possibly need from–
There's a shadow that lingers in and around places where strange things happen. It seems to like the T3 quite a bit.
He scoffs. There’s no way it noticed something like that. What, did it learn that from a friend?
It laughs, but there’s a bitter, angry edge to the sound. You're a clever guy. I'm sure you'll figure it out eventually.
…Whatever. He’s not going to waste more of his time and energy on Innit. The damn thing has made it perfectly clear it hates him and wants to see him suffer.
He sighs, flipping onto his back on the couch on the upper part of his San-proof rooms.
Under a hidden trapdoor is a ladder down to the more spacious area, set up for times when he or Raine need to feel just a little bit safer.
Or when they and other members of the Council need to speak in absolute privacy.
"Hard to forget part of my…fan club," he says to Chime. The term is paired with a slightly sour tone. He can feel the power and control that served as the platform for his already dubious mental health crumbling underneath him.
The Observers, as well as the Scribe, are entities he can’t do jack and shit about. He’s had to grit his teeth and make deals that rip open long-festering wounds in his psyche. If he doesn’t know what’s going on, then he has failed at his core purpose.
Information is his armor, weapon, and tool. He wields and weaves it so that he can stomp out problems before they grow large enough that the Swords and Shields are truly needed. If he can’t do that, then what is he good for? Why is he here, if he can’t protect the people he has devoted himself to?
What is he, without the power of information?
Nothing, the monster in his head tells him. You’re nothing, and that’s why you're scared.
#asked&answered#chronotag#DazzlingVoid#InnerInnit#Daz is Suffering in like eight ways#listen his entire internal support structure is kinda on fire#and his external ones ain't much better#plus he's pretty much dealing with having HIMSELF as an enemy#meanwhile Innit is doing great#aside from its seething hatred and violent resentment#but it gets friends!! and hugs!!! and a lot of food for some reason!!!#also I remembered I can schedule posts aaaaay
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The real thing the conversation around AI needs is a reality check. AI isn't good at making things, and it absolutely can't make anything without massive human involvement. When digital music was first becoming a thing it was very scary for musicians because 'why would anyone want to hire someone to play music when they can just download a sample of it?!', and that was a very well founded fear that didn't end up being entirely false. Many people use exclusively digital sampling to make their music, and the field for live musicians has definitely shrank, but I think people are way too prone to idolize the glorious period of 'artistic purity' before digital production became a thing. Generative AI models are certainly scary, and it will definitely change the landscape for art online, but let's temper our expectations because honestly AI generated art is just in general pretty boring and uninteresting. Anyone can generate any prompt they could come up with, but art has a lot more to do with symbolism and narrative than it does with the literal images or tangible aspects of any piece of art.
#.txt#i think that if we look at this issue historically YES it will change things and YES there will be a market that wont exist anymore#but like how many furries are getting all of their art from Dalle???#like basically none#putting aside the issue that consumer AI is super bad at doing anything specific or reproducible#AI just doesn't have any recognizable style or visual intuition#AI has no intention besides 'produce the most likely output#a human artist thinks about what they're making in much more abstract ways than a computer does#is AI going to get better? who knows but right now its just... not that great#it's pretty much entirely failed to live up to any of its overhyped promises of allowing ANYONE to be a great artist#giving the power of creation to all the people who cant do it themselves#but it hasnt overall because tech bros arent selling good products theyre selling hype and everyone keeps falling for it lol
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#ok. so the guy from school i visited emailed me today like: good news! we unanimously voted to extend u an offer here#so expect the formal offer in the next week. and im like uuuugh i wanna say yes so bad#bc in the us i would have more flexibility in the program than i would in the uk#and my options in the us r either to b a big fish in a small pond at this schoolor a little fish in a big pond at the other#bc this school is underfunded and a bit isolated out in the mountains but the staff r pretty great and big egos dont seem like a big issue#but if i go to the other school its like a big well funded school. the application was like 75 dollars. fuck u and really annoying#and i mean id have to live in new jersey. so in the city with city driving and prob a more high pressure school environment#and more of a chance of dealing with big egos. but like career wise im sure it would b good. assuming i don't mentally collapse#but i mean that doesnt seem as fun as spending 5 years out in the rocky mountains#like thry have fucking moose and bears! there were deer and turkeys in town!#and my dad just sent me a video of all the spring peepers singing back home and im like 😭 bc froggies and he was like i bet u could find#frogs out in [redacted city] and im like 😭 ur right. it just seems like the better choice for my poor overtaxed brain and the project is#so cool too. i want to get the cyano species as my computer background asap. and the guy is nice and apparently super supportive#and i could probably walk to hiking trails. god. i mean i have to say yes to that. i wanna say yes so bad. send me the formal offer bro#ill fucking take it before i even hear back from the other schools lol. ugh. i hate making choices#oof i am so excited to kno where im going and plan my departure. its gonna b such a pain moving tho i pray that my mum or dad can drive#with me bc otherwise the 20hr drive by myself might kill me. thats almost as bad as my initial move out here lol. the us is so big#ugh. again choices. is this the right choice? probably one of the biggest decisions of my life. the project feels so right. cyanobacteria#my algal group of choice. and hot springs. how tf do u say to no to that? i mean. id b doing that in new jersey too but with red algae#ugh. put me out of this misery lol. also as an aside. shout out to my fucking disaster brain for not being able to focus on a single thing#my boss in a meeting: so glad to have students and staff so excited to b working on this project!! me: lady i hate that im on this project#bc im just sitting in until they can get an actual student. i just do what im told but appreciate the enthusiasm lol#ay. im so tired. i wanna see the snow and mountains. and fix my head. and get outta the desert. and listen to frogs 🐸 😌#unrelated
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Dude.. my ex boyfriend totally did get me into conspiracy theory shit, even if unintentionally (i think its intentional im sure he believed in that shit. Would not surprise me at all.) At the time i was already pretty isolated from anyone online who mightve countered any of my dumb spiritual or alien related beliefs because of some dumb shit i said online making most of the friends and followers i made online generally avoid me, depending on who it was. I was just a regular pagan and then he showed me this weird video with all this weird conspiracy theory symbolism in it. I looked it up later on and looked up the meaning of the symbolism and came across a whole bunch of stuff posing itself as Secret Information The US Govt Doesnt Want You To Know About, etc. And then i just fell deeper into the conspiracy theory pipeline, traded my paganism for new age beliefs, and goddamn dude. Like we both got suspended from school bc he had a dumb idea to dumb shit there and i spent my time in detention fucking. Trying to read "the emerald tablets" or whatever tf. Its all coming back to me rn.
#anyways im not about to let yall make me feel guilty for falling in this direction anymore bc i was fuckin 14 and didnt know SHIT about us#politics aside from lgbt ppl deserve rights and to live like everyone else and same w all the other minorities (even tho i probably still#had issues i needed to work on around those things. still generally i wouldve considered myself progressive but apolitical)#and i was already at the time rejecting my christian upbringing and trying out satanism and paganism and such and so#i had a very rebellious mindset at the time. i also hated authority so the first antiesrablishment thing i saw i clung to bc it was#*close enough* to how i felt. none of that shit ever outwardly stated (at the time at least) that anything was abt jewish ppl and i was#filling in the parts about 'child sex rings' to be about christians bc thats how i knew them to be like. it just like. seems so obviously#something a christian would try to do. like a creepy priest or something. i imprinted my own meaning onto it#im not saying it was good but i definitely didnt go into it and stick to it for reasons some ppl might wanna believe#i was way more on the spiritual leaning side and the ~secret spiritual meaning~ of the world. like the flower of life or fuckin.#shit like how theres. idk. a fucking disc or something thats supposed to go on top of the great pyramids that super enlightened#people can only navigate like a spaceship or some shit?#idk the mythology of it all really fucking enraptured me. and i still liked the reptilians even tho they were supposed to be evil and#apparently an antisemitic dogwhistle. i thought it was the annunaki or whatever i was supposed to hate. at least.#the opinions were pretty mixed back then. admittedly i didnt really look up other ppls opinions on that stuff other than articles ppl wrote#like no forums or anything really. which is probably a very good thing i avoided those lol. regardless i thought of the reptilians#as being more neutral but generally looking out for themselves kinda like. the way a reptile would ig. but now that ik its a dog whistle#it really took a the magic out of all of that stuff for me :/ im disillusioned to say the least lol.#all that new age shit was appropriation. christianity rebranded. or weird shit people made up about atlantis or whatever sjjsksks#my favorite was the oceanis one where theres a star system where whales and dolphins come from#like that one was my favorite to believe in dhdjjsksksbdhs#imagine being on a star planet diving around in the sea of light u_u anyways it still sounds fun shsjskskwne.#i hope that one is at least more tame. though im sure its still somehow connected to everything else which im p sure it is#dude all of this information is just resurfacing about all of this shit. i could totally write a whole thing about all the conspiracy#theories i learned about. i might if only to make fun of it all sjdjksksks#yall ever heard of FUCKING david willcocks????#his willing cocks???????#his fucking ass#and gaia FUCKING tv#all that dumb shit
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there is One Correlation between like 90% of the best rhythm heaven games. they're in ds. it's the best rhythm heaven-
#puppy rambles#rhythm hell#ds#dj school fan club rockers love lab lockstep glee club the dazzles karate man space soccer rhythm rally#shoot-'em-up blue birds drummer duel frog hop splashdown dog ninja airboarder. yes that is every ds game aside from like#the Ones That I Don't Care About and also built to scale cuz i forgor 😔 oh and moai doo-wop and fillbots i forgot them too#but also the originals of them are pretty meh tbh. the sequels tho. v v good#idk why people love crop stomp and munchy monk so much. crop stomp is fun at least. munchy monk isn't super great#munchy monk 2 is good. i think calling it “the best rhythm heaven game” is really overselling it tho-#best rhythm heaven is dj school. it is gay. and fun. and it gets referenced a bunch. did i mention it's gay-#munchy monk is not gay but also every rhythm heaven game is gay except quiz show and coin toss and rhythmove dungeon#quiz show is homophobic#its existence is just homophobia
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I'll do you one better:
Tag an oc without any childhood trauma, whose family is still alive, AND doesn't cause egregious trauma as a living/hobby.
Alright.
You ready for a hard 'tag your oc' challenge?
Tag an oc who doesn't have childhood trauma. At all. Who's family is still alive.
I'll wait.
#dr davide#his parents are alive and very proud grandparents#get this: he has a great relationship with his older sister#he works as a neurosurgeon#and has a very pretty daughter!#however hes also a lil guy who likes when shenanigans happen#he often excuses other OCs behaviour bc he thinks its funny#and he mentors one of my other ocs into not having a stick up his butt when speaking to other coworkers!#also dad jokes are his greatest love#aside from the ol ball and chain and his little sweet precious ofc 💗
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i got a vape bc i thought maybe i can use weed to help my anxiety like this (edibles r way too unpredictable and i dont want to smoke) and i tried it out today and i already regret spending the money. i think i just dont enjoy drugs in general anymore. which is probably a good thing right lol but i still feel a bit mehh about it.
#i always get a weird feeling in my throat when i consume cannabis in any form and my heart beats pretty fast at first i dont like it#and my face felt odd and idk aside from that it wasnt that great#i laughed out loud quite a lot that was nice#but the smell and especially the taste is so blerghhh and i always feel dirty after smoking and its better but still bad with vaping#i cant put anything in my little baby lungs but clean air lmao#so what do i do now with a brand new vape and a bunch of self grown weed#personal
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I CALLED IT
#tsou#tsou spoilers#ok tbh dr Wisanu always seems so fruity to me since the beginning#he probably hasn't realized it yet#but what made me go hm was how he's so far from pushy toward Lada#even though their relationship is pretty much fixed bc Lada's mom is soo hellbent marrying her off to him#but so far he mostly meet Lada in professional setting#like “hey so my office has this event we could go together” yadda yadda#its okay to assume that he doesnt want to push too hard knowing Lada is NOT into him#and that he respects Lada's boundaries which is really good#but I always thought that a straight man would at least try to invite Lada to a dinner or something#I joked to my friend that dr Wisanu and Lada should get married for convenience#they would make a great business partner and get all the benefits anyway#when he could be so respectful like this I dont see a downside to that#aside from they both cant be seen too intimate with their REAL partner outside of course#but they're both rich and powerful or whatever so they could come up with something ah#also yes I ship dr Tan and dr Wisanu since the very BEGINNING#I think they could be cute together#I WAS RIGHT#im so fluent in gay stuff and this series giving all the gays what we want anyway
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okaaaayyy finally watched I saw the tv glow :^)
#liked it a lot on a lot of levels. visuals n soundtrack n acting was great. rly subtle n cohesive n effective#i wanna sit with it a little to digest it and maybe rewatch#but unfortunately i didnt get the same emotional resonance a lot of ppl did from it.. possibly bc i was watching w other ppl#but i dont think its that i think i just struggle to connect meaningfully w things that are like. what if the choices u didnt make#alienated u from the world and ur sense of self n what if the life u were living was a hollow bubble separate from the real world etcetc#bc like yeah man im very aware of how unreal my life n the world around me feels at times. and it isnt bc im holding myself within#tight limitations/constraints in order to hide parts of me from myself or forcing myself to be smth im not in order to engage w society#like im just mentally ill n the dissociation n derealisation are symptoms of that..#i can 100% understand why so many queer ppl feel so strongly abt it n the gender stuff implied in it#but thats just not my experience of queerness personally. its never been smth ive had to grapple with much#like yeah i havent fully figured out my gender shit. but im ok w that its not holding me back from living the life i want to be living#my sense of self is just so far divorced from my physical body and the physical world around me..... idk im too tired to articulate this#but that aside i did rly like it as a movie! and it was very heartbreaking.. just not in a way that struck me super personally#which i was rly hoping it would ahh sorry everyone 😔 but hey maybe thatll come after i think abt it some more#lots of cool effects too i liked the different ways they did the moon face thing. i liked how effective the whole distortion of memory#and nostalgia etc was done visually.. aesthetically very yummy. aw man..#i didnt even cry i was rly hoping it would make me cry...... :-(#makes me feel like im missing out on smth cuz everyone else ive seen talk abt it got hit so hard by it#just made my peace w being on the outside looking in i guess.. i shook out all my regrets and what-couldve-beens as a depressed teen#n now im just here to vibe forever..... 😌 i am toooooo tired to be typing i just keep saying the same thing over an dover probably#maybe a 7 or 8 out of 10 movie for me i think which is still pretty damn worth it#okayyy brushing my teeth and going to bed cuz i wanna go climbing tomorrow so need to rest up ‼️#sorry i dont want to rain on anyones parade genuinely did think it was a great movie im glad others are feeling it so intensely#ahhhh!!!!#.diaries
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Excuse you??? That is so cool :0
Honestly my mom could probably classify as a witch too, she's always done these sorts of things as well, especially the palm reading (though she refuses to read mine or teach me). Her view of the world and how in tune she is with the energies of things was always really magical to me.
petition to shorten "classic literature" to "clit"
#there were a lot of instances of her being convinced certain chants and teas and rituals would be helpful#it's kinda her thing#and you know what?#it did always make me feel better; especially when she used it to help me with my performance anxiety#she's also veeery superstitious#if I don't look into a mirror before leaving the house she freaks out#she's a really kind person... I love her a lot#unlike my great grandmother (I think that's what she was) who was always cursing people#not rumours she was genuinely doing that :|#some people on my mom's side of the family were... not the best#not that it matters now. aside from my mom; grandmother and a random cousin they're pretty much all dead#oh but I love witchcraft; the actual practice; the history and its depictions in media have been an interest of mine for a while#I did actually perform some spells myself; when I was feeling desperate#which worked? surprisingly?#but gosh it's so neat that you have a bunch of witchy shops and a witchy mom sjshsjsk I adore this#that knowledge is giving me life rn
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which character in Yakuza do you think has the best development?
everyone gonna say im biased but genuinely daigo has my favorite character development throughout the series
#snap chats#he's the only one with any real notable character growth tbh if i may be so daring to say#aside from kashiwagi too tbh. i also really love his change but bro's here for like three games so 💀#i think its just that his is more abundant#he goes from a punk to being a responsible man and i love it every time i acknowledge it#like yeah he fumbles around a bit but we see him figure things out and sort himself out and it's really great to watch#it feels satisfying almost- even if he ultimately has to end the thing he fought so hard for in the name of kiryu#tho daigo willing to end it opposed to be obstinate and continue to fight against it is pretty big for his character#idk i just dont think people give daigo's character the credit it deserves#like hes not loud or overly flashy he's very much in the background but i guess thats why i love him#like his changes dont come with a kind of fanfare or obvious Aha moment on screen- its just something you notice over time#well maybe except in Y2 where we DO get that pivotal This Is His Changing Point moment#but after that we just see him grow and try to get comfortable in his new position as chairman#sorry i have Daigo Lover disease. its terminal i was watching a clip of him earlier and felt my heart grow three sizes
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