#but as soon as carlos explains tk's here to reassure him and somehow get him to smile after all of it

[guardian-angle22]

TK/Carlos + Looks

↳ 2.04 Friends with Benefits

[lonestardust]

very insightful your previous posts from last week that explained the storytelling this season because i couldn't help feeling like there was a missing piece. Which I totally understand the fact that we can't see or have everything on TV. I'm satisfied either way but somehow I just can't help feeling like we could've had something more out of episode 5.

Oh me too I'm genuinely satisfied anyway, because IT'S TARLOS!! aka the best and only love story ever!! and also simply because we have the fandom experience that truly indulges all of our thoughts and what ifs with fics and discussions and headcanons etc.

you know i was actually just thinking of how the choice of the whole therapy thing did not fully sit right with its building blocks because it relied on the time skips to tell us about the problem but over showed trying to solve it in whole 5 minutes of therapy. this didn't really land for me even though i reallyyy enjoyed watching it! like I'd rather just cancel the therapy thing altogether over getting too much of it when the showing of the build up to getting there could've been more cogent in my opinion.

that's why i reimagine how 5x05 would've been more compelling if those opening 5 mins were divided into two scenes where it really shows Carlos being truly absent and letting the case consume him completely, and TK is so supportive and trying hard not to break down under the weight of feeling abandoned.

(excuse the messy thoughts okay) a scene where :

Carlos actually skips their plans for the night altogether, and TK who made plans for them to dine out somewhere because they haven't been able to spend time together lately, brought a gift and is all ready at home texting carlos because if they're late they're gonna miss their reservation and carlos keeps saying he'll leave work soon, TK ultimately gives up, the plans are cancelled and it's not the first time. and he's just sitting there spiraling, doesn't even change his clothes, he's utterly crushed and wants to cry because he's alone and it makes him sick like a kid to be abandoned like that and have it come from carlos, the only person that would never let TK feel that way. but he puts on a brave face when carlos finally gets home, he looks really distressed it worries TK that this is not just guilt over skipping plans again, he greets TK and makes an attempt to apologise before he goes to sit on the edge of the bed, and everything just reflects in the mood of the loft where it's barely lit like usual and the only light in their bedroom is coming from outside, carlos just folds in on himself and cries.. like truly breaks down. letting everything out, all of his pent-up strain and grief and TK rushes towards him and moves into his space and sits in front of him (like their 3x08 and 4x01 parallels) and he immediately starts comforting him in that way where he whispers to carlos his familiar strings of hey, and breathe and it's okay, and carlos' voice is broken, trying to hold back the next sob and having difficult time trying to string words into a coherent sentence

"TK.. I'm stuck. everything feels like a dead end and I don't know what else to do and- I'm sorry I'm not good enough, it's my fault for dragging this for too long because I should've solved the case long time ago but I couldn't and I just don't know- I'm so sorry I-"

"hey hey hey, breathe baby" TK pulls him to his chest then cups his face between his hands, telling him that hey no you're incredible, you're resourceful and capable but it's not easy and it's not supposed to and that's not your fault-

"I'm sorry" carlos immediately cuts him off

because this TK right here, his support, his patience feels jarring because carlos fully expected to come home to TK rightfully lashing out at him for canceling on yet another thing they planed to do together, but no, he's right here holding him and reassuring all his worries and he's so so gentle it triggers all of the guilt of the unspent love and time he should've been putting into their marriage. it drags him down to sincerely apologising and it's one of those moments where he'd call him TK by his actual name because that's when he really wants TK to knowww how he really feels

"Carlos.. it's not the first time where we end up like this, you know that. you lose yourself there for too long, it's like you're letting go of everything else we have, you make me miss you like hell, and I feel like we're already starting to drift apart"

"no please don't say that, I don't want that, I'm done making you feel this way, I'm done wasting the time i get with you, i am so sorry baby I know i haven't really been a good husband-"

"you're an incredible husband okay"

"But I'm not TK, and I'm not trying to do better, and I promise you to do better".........

and carlos begins again by suggesting that TK once told him to join him in the grief counselling meetings and that he'd love to go to one now with him..

like that's the moment in the storyline where carlos makes the promise to do better and then by the end of the episode we see the resolution of it, and we get the confirmation that they went to grief counselling or couples counselling together and it happens over them having ice cream during a night walk after dining out because carlos managed to get a table at that restaurant again, TK filling him in on all the 126 drama he's been missing or something that TK took up that carlos didn't really get to hear about how it's going..

[detectivecarlosreyes]

Academy Together, Friends Forever 8/10

Also on Ao3 

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Buck stares up at Carlos, confused as to why this near-stranger was yelling at him and was about to answer his question when the paramedic swats at Carlos’ hands, “Carlos! Let the man go.” She exclaims, forcing him to release his shirt so she can work on his wounds.

Judd appeared in his field of view, peering down at him in confusion before realisation dawns across his face. “Cap! You should come over here! Your boy Buck was the person crazy enough to go inside without any gear.”

He couldn’t hear Owen’s response over the paramedic muttering to herself about all the numerous cuts on his body as she attempts to stop them from bleeding. Maybe it was the blood loss or the lack of oxygen, but it takes Buck longer than it should have to get the paramedic’s attention to give her an important detail. Fumbling with the oxygen mask and leaving a smear of blood on the plastic, he manages to say, “I’m on- I’m on blood thinners.”

Buck watches her eyes widen in alarm before settling into a calm sense of urgency over this new information and she reaches for her radio intending to call for another RA unit. Before she even utters a word, Buck stops her. “That guy looks like he needs the one that’s already here as much as I do. Just wrap what you can and put me in the seat, then you can watch both of us.”

“Alright then, we’ve gotta go now.” Quickly wrapping a bandage along each arm, she carefully helps him to his feet just as Owen joins them, immediately tucking his shoulder under Buck’s other arm, causing him to hiss slightly.

“You okay?” He asks, concern clear in his voice.

Buck can help but smirk through the sting, “Yep no worries, I’ll be fine. Just need to get these wounds sealed and I’ll be good as new.”

“If you’re sure,” Owen says hesitantly as they settle him into the ambulance. “I’ll send TK to keep you company at the hospital.” Buck looks down at the blood already seeping through the bandage, but then throws on a reassuring smile to Owen and gives him a one-fingered salute as they close the doors.

Admittedly, by the time they rolled into the hospital he was feeling a little lightheaded, and when Michelle, as he learned her name was, gives him a no-nonsense look when they wheel up a second gurney to the ambulance for him, he doesn't argue knowing there was no point, and graciously accepts help onto it as he fights a wave of dizziness.

As it turns out, the doctor was less than impressed by his apparent lack of self-preservation, especially when she discovers that he had two deep, freely bleeding lacerations; one on the underside of his arm and the other high up on the side of his chest. He guessed that he must have gotten them pulling the man through the window. It would definitely explain why he was feeling so tired.

She had just finished stitching up the second wound and was moving onto sealing the nuisance cuts on his arms when TK found him. “Dude, seriously, we leave you for a couple of hours and this is what you manage to do!” He says this in exasperation, but Buck could hear a hint of fondness in there too.

TK takes a seat beside him and waits in comfortable silence as the doctor dresses the wounds, and then informs them both that they’ll keep him for a few hours of observation to ensure there were no other complications from the smoke inhalation or the wounds.

After she leaves Buck immediately turns to TK, in a bid to distract him from the situation. “So, guess who I saw today.” He then proceeds to tell TK all about his encounter with Carlos at the scene and how he was none too pleased with his daring rescue.

“I can see why you like him. He has that fierce protector vibe, a quality might I add that your ex did not have and something that I think could do you some good.” TK blushes, and lightly punches him in the arm claiming that he didn’t need Buck’s approval, which Buck agreed, he didn’t.

After further discussion on the topic, Buck manages to convince TK to call Carlos and set up a date. What he did not expect however was for TK to include him in said date to go to the movies.

“So, what you’re saying is that I’ll be third-wheeling.”

“Come on Buck, baby steps, I don’t even know what our relationship is yet. Besides I want you to properly meet Carlos before you go home.” Buck, of course, relents to put TK at ease under the guise of reluctance but secretly he did want to get to know TK’s new man.

** ** **

Carlos has had a day. It's his day off and yet somehow, he still manages to be working in some capacity. In this case, its responding and calling dispatch about a house fire while keeping a distraught wife and mother from re-entering the house and being a third potential casualty instead of two.

And then out of nowhere, this guy, the one that he met briefly in TK’s hospital room starts questioning him like he’s the reason the house was burning. As soon as the guy got the answers he was apparently looking for, he was running towards the flames. What normal person does that? Does this guy have a death wish? Like sure, as a cop, Carlos was used to running towards danger, but he was trained for that sort of thing. Who was this Buck guy to do just that?

Conflicting emotions bubbled deep in his belly as he keeps the woman company while they wait with bated breath for some sign that Buck managed to pull off the rescue. Mostly, he was angry at this civilian who recklessly went into a burning house to play hero and frustrated at his inability to help besides calling for help is at the forefront. Surprisingly, fear was also swirling around in there.

Fear that this guy, Buck, a friend to both TK and Captain Strand, who he’s never seen before, had willingly put himself in danger and might not make it out safely. And then Carlos will have to be the one to tell the two Strands that their friend had put his life above two strangers and paid for it. He prays that by some miracle that Buck manages to save the father and son.

And then all at once, the 126 was at the scene, and Buck had emerged soot-covered, carrying the father on his shoulders along the rooftop with the child clinging to him. Carlos can’t help but cheer internally only to watch the man slip and land heavily in a deathly still heap on the ground.

He’s ashamed to say that he uncharacteristically let his fear and frustration control his actions and finds himself yelling in the poor man’s face. Michelle rightfully put him in his place and he moved off, going instead to give his statement to one of his colleagues before heading home to change out of his smoke scented clothes.

What he did not expect barely an hour later is to get a call from TK saying that he was out of the hospital and wanted to go out for a movie and possibly dinner afterward. In light of the morning he just had, it was a welcome surprise and he agrees to pick up him and this friend that TK wanted him to meet.

The afternoon came quickly enough and before he knew it, Carlos was at TK’s house and TK was opening the door and dragging him inside only to discover--

“Buck?!”

The man in question had just rounded the corner, pulling on a jacket and looking as if the morning didn’t even happen. Out of the corner of his eye, Carlos could see TK looking between them questioningly before stepping back and grabbing Buck by the wrist and bringing him up to stand in front of Carlos.

He’s not normally the type to feel threatened by another guy being close to someone he wants to be in a relationship with, but he can’t help but feel a twinge of insecurity at seeing the closeness between Buck and TK as they stand side by side with their shoulder brushing. He can’t help it, especially when Buck is this beautiful and muscular guy, a total catch.

After their re-introduction, the three of them head to the cinema which wasn’t far away by car. It didn’t take them long to decide on a rom-com and Buck shooed TK and Carlos off to wait somewhere more comfortable while he waited in line, insisting on being the one to pay for the tickets.

Almost as soon as they were seated, TK rounds on him.

“What’s going on with you? You’ve been acting weird since you knew it was Buck that was coming with us.”

“What’s the deal between you two?” TK’s thinly veiled concern morphed into amusement and he laughs at the question.

“That’s what this is about?” TK gently takes his hand in his own and presses it to his lips, “Oh Carlos, first off, I promise you there’s nothing going on between me and Buck. I mean yeah, he’s a pretty guy but its never been like that. Buck is more of a brother than anything and I’m pretty sure I’m not his type.”

At hearing this, Carlos groans and lets his head drop onto TK’s uninjured shoulder, burying his face into TK’s jacket in embarrassment. “I’m an idiot, aren’t I?” He mumbles into the fabric.

TK lightly pats his knee comfortingly. “You’re a cute idiot but don’t worry about it, it’s not the first time someone has thought that. We just got really close when he lived with us and we went through the fire academy together.”

“He probably thinks I’m an asshole.” Says Carlos lifting his head from TK’s shoulder, feeling guilty for the way he’s been acting. TK hums in response before patting his knee once more and gets up as Buck starts making his way over from the ticket booth.

“I’m sure he doesn’t but if you want to clear the air or whatever you can talk to him while I go to the bathroom, okay?” somewhat relieved in not having to ask, Carlos gives TK a quick nod and then TK was walking away, giving Buck a playful elbow bump as he passes him on the way to the bathroom.

Buck took TK’s spot and passes Carlos his ticket, looking away with a slight frown before he turns back to Carlos, and then they’re both speaking at once.

“Look, man, I’m sorry about this morning—” “Buck I’m sorry about how--”

Carlos stops talking abruptly and gestures for Buck to continue, “It's just- I’ve had experience with showing up too late to a fire, and knowing that I had a chance to save them, well, I had to take that risk. So, I’m sorry if I came across as a dick.”

He shakes his head. “Buck, I don’t even know why you're apologising when I was the one who was yelling at you for saving two people. I think you scared me more than anything, this civilian who I know is friends with TK and his dad just went into a burning house. I was afraid of what I might have to tell them if you didn’t make it out.”

Buck for his part, nodded along with his explanation, realisation dawning across his face at what he was implying, and Carlos couldn’t help but wonder if the guy had even considered that fact. From the looks of it, he wasn’t sure that he had, which was kind of concerning, to say the least.

Buck then scrunched up his face in confusion. “Wait, so why were you apologising?”

“Honestly, and I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I thought there was something going on between you and TK, and I kind of felt threatened with whatever relationship we seem to have. But I am also really sorry about getting in your face this morning, that was shit of me especially considering you were injured.”

“Oh. Well, apology accepted. And I swear there is nothing going on between us.” He grins, “besides TK isn’t really my type.”  

Carlos laughed at that, “Yeah, TK pretty much said the same thing.”

“So, we’re cool?” Buck puts his hand out for him to shake and Carlos takes it gladly, happy to put the misunderstanding behind them. “Yeah, we’re cool.”

TK came back after that, smiling at the two of them before gesturing towards the concession stand eager to get popcorn and candy before the movie started. Conversation flowed much easier for the rest of the evening and Carlos can't help but feel the beginnings of a beautiful friendship.

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