#but as far as im aware both mental and psychical trauma can cause vocal cord paralysis

[hypnoneghoul]

how does it feel to be evil also please please please tell me more about lying dewy ? <3 (no pressure of course but OUGHH i love that headcanon so much)

being evil is so cool actually i love havin power heh

and im glad you liked that hc! more rambles under the cut

cw for self inflicted injury

i mentioned dewdrop lying about small, irrelevant things just because he has to, because he can't help it, but it doesn't mean he doesn't lie about big things, too

he can fuck up bad if he just twists one word when a tech asks him something on tour

it brings him sort of sick satisfaction when that happens, he's disgusted by himself but he feels powerful in a way

it becomes sort of self-harm for him at some point. he can and will lie in a way that will hurt him, so the consequences will influence him. he thinks that if he must be a filthy liar that hurts his loved ones he deserves to hurt because of those lies too

think him telling the costume people that his balaclava's fabric is light and breathable enough and that his collar isn't too tight just so he can choke and barely be able to breathe during the rituals. small lie but it makes him hurt nonetheless and he revels in that ache in his chest and throat

his lies are also like thread being weaved together to create a shroud under which he can hide. he uses smaller and bigger lies together to create an image of himself that he feels like he has to be, but isn't

other people simply act differently, they just mask some of their truest colors to fit in or be more likable, but dewdrop takes it...too seriously, I'd say

most of the things don't matter but he aches with the need to lie about them, as if the ground will open up under him and swallow him if he lets a thing as simple as truth fall from his lips. he doesn't want to lie, but he has to, and he always realizes he's lied just seconds too late

one time he fucks up real bad. his lie makes rain hurt himself and dewdrop crumbles

"isn't the stage too slippery for your ghoul boots?" someone asked

"no." dewdrop told them, even though he slipped twice just walking across it. if he said yes the roadies had ways of making the surface bettter, but he didn't

and because of him rain slipped and hurt himself bad enough that they needed to cut the show short

even though its a disorder and all the ghouls do their best to be understanding, that time they snapped. especially swiss, he yelled at dew so much that the fire ghoul spent the night curled into a tiny ball shaking in a cabinet under the sink on the tour bus

the next morning dew emerged after all of his pack has already left. he didn't plan it but just when he was crawling out he saw a fresh pack of cigarettes laying on the counter

his throat was already feeling sore because of all his crying. his anxiety would help, chainsmoking a whole pack too. one more thing he could add...

he got an idea

he got out of the bus after downing a few shots of tequilla. alcohol dries out vocal chords. he smoked all the cigarettes one by one. then, he put his hands around his neck in the unsafest way he could come up with and squeezed

it hurt like hell but he was still making damn noise

he looked around and noticed the bus was parked far away from anything else. there was no one around so he could just scream. he still used a pillow for muting but he screamed and screamed and he started tasting blood but finally, finally, the noise just...cut off

he didn't know how long the vocal cord paralysis would last with him being a ghoul

but he hoped it'd stay