#but apparently this trailer has been out for 3 months and i just didn't know

[hidengifs]

Abaranger 20th: The Unforgivable Abare ↳ Distribution Starts September 1st 2023

[solarmorrigan]

For the angst prompt thing: Steddie and "Don't fucking touch me."

Hello! Thank you very much for sending a prompt, I'm sorry it took me so long to post, but I do think this one is my favorite out of all the fills I've done for this prompt list <3

[No warnings; Unnamed Freak (who apparently got a name in the most recent novel, but I didn't know that at the time) is named Oliver]

Angsty-ish Prompt List

-

“I’m gonna step outside for a minute,” Steve leans in to murmur in Eddie’s ear, even though the music isn’t that loud.

“Yeah, sounds good.” Eddie nods, and only just keeps himself from turning to catch Steve’s mouth in a kiss when he feels the brush of his lips against his ear; it’s not his fault he’s developed some kind of Pavlovian association between having Steve’s mouth anywhere near his skin and receiving kisses – but they do have company.

Said company is just Gareth, Jeff, and Oliver, but still. Eddie has some decorum.

Steve stands from the couch and the arm he’d had slung around Eddie’s shoulders slides away slowly, his hand brushing warm and heavy over the back of Eddie’s neck, thumb stroking once, familiarly, along the side of his throat before disappearing entirely as Steve moves towards the front door. He doesn’t do so great with groups of people in small spaces anymore; the noise gets to him, and the heat generated by so many bodies in close proximity tends to give him a headache, so he takes breaks now and then, just to give his brain a few minutes to unbend.

The door swings open on silent hinges (Steve had attacked it with a can of WD-40 and a look of determination earlier today, insisting he couldn’t stand the squeaking anymore; he’s always doing things like that around the house – little repairs, organizing, picking things up, even though Eddie insists he doesn’t have to. He says he wants to, the endearing little weirdo) and Steve steps out into the cool evening, leaving Eddie and the boys behind in the warm light of the trailer’s main room.

“So,” Jeff says, looking up from his spot on the floor and gesturing vaguely at Eddie with his beer can, “how’s that going for you guys?”

Eddie blinks at him. “How’s what going?”

“The whole thing between you two,” Jeff clarifies, and Eddie raises a skeptical brow at him.

“You wanna talk about me and Steve having sex?” Eddie asks.

Jeff’s nose scrunches in distaste. “What? No.”

“Not ever,” Gareth jumps in.

“I mean…” Oliver says with a shrug, flinching when Gareth pelts him with a balled-up napkin.

“No,” Gareth reiterates.

“I refuse to apologize for simple curiosity,” Oliver sniffs, and Eddie, seated next to him on the couch, gives him a shove.

He’s glad his friends are accepting – supportive, even (he’d like to say he wouldn’t hang out with them if they weren’t, but let’s be real: nerds could be hard to come by in their neck of the woods, and as long as they were the quiet type of homophobic, Eddie would probably still play D&D with them. But he’s glad they’re not), but he does have some boundaries.

Like, one or two, maybe.

“I just meant the whole… dating thing,” Jeff says, taking a sip from his beer. “Because I’ll be honest, I really didn’t see it at first, but it actually seems to be working out.”

“Dating?” Eddie parrots blankly.

“Yeah. You guys are in, like, some kind of never-ending honeymoon phase or some shit,” Gareth says. “Hasn’t it been over two months?”

“Uhhh, no, I think you gentlemen are confused,” Eddie drawls. “Steve and I are not dating.”

This declaration is met with a moment of silence.

“Seriously?” Oliver finally says.

“Yep,” Eddie replies easily. “No relationship shit here. Strictly a friends-with-benefits-type deal.”

“Seriously,” Olver says again, flatly this time.

“Yes, Oliver, seriously,” Eddie huffs, reaching over to give him another shove, only to have his hand pushed away.

“Eddie, he was practically sitting in your lap just now,” Jeff says. “You two are all over each other.”

“Constantly,” Gareth adds.

Eddie shrugs. “It’s not like this is a big couch; we gotta squish. Anyway, Steve’s just a touchy kind of guy.”

“He doesn’t sit like that with any of us,” Gareth points out.

“Yeah, well, you guys aren’t the ones receiving benefits,” Eddie says. “You want him to sit on your lap? You could ask.”

Gareth lets his head hang back with a noise of frustration. “That’s not the point, and you know it.”

“Don’t you two go on dates?” Jeff asks. “I’ve seen you at the movies. You talk about going out to eat, doing other shit…”

“Yeah, see, that’s the friends part of friends with benefits,” Eddie snarks. “Friends hang out sometimes, I’ve been told. We are all, in fact, hanging out right now, but that doesn’t mean I’m dating any of you.”

“You don’t see the way he looks at you?” Oliver asks, and Eddie can’t help but scoff.

He appreciates the fact that Oliver is passionate about pretty much anything he does, but it also means he’s given to romanticizing. He doesn’t usually manage to drag Jeff or Gareth in with him, though.

“Pretty sure he looks at me like a friend, because that’s what we are.” Eddie rolls his eyes before offering a smarmy little grin. “I mean, I’m sure he looks at me as an exceptionally attractive friend, but that’s it.”

“Genuinely can’t tell if you’re fucking with us, man,” Jeff says, rolling his eyes.

“Genuinely, I am not,” Eddie promises, taking the last viable swallow from his beer before getting up and heading for the kitchen, wiggling his empty can at the others with a raised eyebrow in question. Gareth raises his own near-empty can with a shrug and Eddie nods. “Look,” he says as he ducks towards the fridge, “Steve isn’t the kinda guy you have a relationship with, anyway, you know?”

Eddie doesn’t mean this in a negative way, just as a matter of fact. Steve just doesn’t seem to be a relationship kind of guy. Nancy had been something of an outlier, in how long she and Steve had lasted, and it had become clear after the dust from the Upside Down had settled that he really doesn’t have any interest in pursuing her further. Just the other day, he’d mentioned to Eddie how difficult relationships can be, and about how glad he is they have their thing together instead.

“Being with you is just… easy,” Steve had said; he hadn’t been looking at Eddie at the time, his face instead pillowed on Eddie’s chest, hair sticking to his naked skin where the sweat was still cooling from their last round, but Eddie could see the edge of a smile on his lips.

And Eddie doesn’t have much experience with relationships himself, but he knows that being friends with Steve is easy and that the sex feels equally easy and that the way he’d agreed with Steve and carded his fingers through his hair had sent Steve right to sleep with that same smile still in place.

Easy.

Now, Eddie shoves his head into the fridge and reaches for the beers that have somehow gotten pushed to the back. “It’s nothing major, okay?” he calls back towards the living room.

“Eddie…” Gareth calls back, an edge to his voice.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m on it.” Eddie waves vaguely, making sure to grab a second beer. “Anyway, Steve’s a good friend, and he’s really hot, and we’re just having fun.”

The bang of the front door against the frame startles Eddie so badly he nearly smacks his head on the underside of the freezer as he stands, a beer clutched in each hand like he might be able to use them as projectiles.

There is no threat, though – just Steve, who had apparently failed to catch the screen door before it had shut too quickly behind him. He doesn’t seem to have noticed; he’s just standing there, staring at Eddie, color rising high in his cheeks, eyes wide and shocked, like he’s just been slapped.

Concern wells up from Eddie’s gut, and he opens to his mouth to ask what’s wrong when Steve finally speaks.

“Yeah,” he croaks, “I’m not having fun.”

Eddie’s brows furrow in confusion, the beginnings of cold dread trickling into his veins well ahead of any conscious thought.

“I think I– I think I should go,” Steve says.

He grabs his keys from the side table by the door, where they’ve lived next to Eddie’s and Wayne’s for the last few months whenever he’s been at the house, and then he’s gone again, the screen door banging shut once more behind him.

And Eddie has no idea what just happened, but he knows it wasn’t good. He drops the beers on the counter and bolts out the door after Steve.

Steve is nearly to his car by the time Eddie scrambles down the front steps, and he’s paying absolutely no attention when Eddie calls after him.

“Steve,” Eddie tries again, stumbling to a stop right behind him as he jams his keys into the driver’s side lock. “Steve, for fuck’s sake, what–” he reaches out, wrapping one hand around Steve’s bicep, and Steve jerks out of his grip.

“Don’t fucking touch me,” Steve snaps.

Eddie pulls his hand back, but doesn’t step away, entirely baffled by the sudden turn the evening has taken. “What the hell happened back there?”

Steve goes still, grip going lax on his keys. “I heard what you said, Eddie.”

“About – about what? Are you mad I was talking to them about us sleeping together? Because, Steve, they already knew,” Eddie insists, a little incredulous. “You said you were fine with them knowing! You were practically feeling me up in front of them!”

“I don’t give a shit if they know we’re having sex!” Steve hisses, finally whirling around to look at Eddie. “I meant the rest. About how I’m not the kind of guy you have a relationship with.”

Eddie’s stomach sinks. He hadn’t realized that was such a sensitive subject. “I – shit, I wasn’t trying to hurt your feelings, I just didn’t think you wanted–”

“About how we’re just having fun,” Steve cuts in, and if he’d sounded raw before, his voice is practically ground down to nothing now.

That brings Eddie up short. “…aren’t we?” he asks after a moment.

Steve says nothing.

“I mean, shit, Steve, it’s not like we’re in a relationship,” Eddie says, offering a little laugh, because even Steve would have to admit that the idea is a little silly.

Except.

Except Steve just glances away, staring at the ground beside Eddie’s feet, and – oh, shit.

“Oh, shit.”

Steve is still unnervingly silent, one arm curled around his middle while the other hand comes up to pinch briefly at the bridge of his nose. He still won’t look at Eddie.

“You… you thought we were,” Eddie says dumbly, and Steve shrugs.

“Can you blame me? We spend all our time together, Eddie. I’m here more than I’m at my own house, I think I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve slept in my own bed in the last month. We go out and do things together, I try to keep things nice around the house because I want Wayne to like me, we have, like, a lot of sex, and– we… I mean, we kiss and touch and just – do shit like that even when it doesn’t lead anywhere.” Steve shrugs helplessly, finally looking up. “I mean, Christ, Eddie, what did you think we were doing?”

“I thought we were friends!” Eddie insists. Steve throws him an incredulous look and Eddie amends, “With benefits!”

“Right.” Steve’s expression flattens back out, going cold and hard and unlike anything Eddie’s become used to from him. “Because I’m not the kind of guy you’d want to have a relationship with.”

“I said that because I thought you didn’t want to be in a relationship!” Eddie snaps. “It’s not like you stay with anyone for very long, so I just assumed you didn’t want to be with anyone.”

Some of the ice retreats from Steve’s face, leaving a watering kind of hurt in its stead. “Do you listen to me at all when I talk?”

“What? Of course I do!” Eddie might have gotten turned around in certain respects, but he will not have his merits as a friend called into question; of course he listens to Steve.

“Are you sure? Because I talk about you an awful lot. I talk about doing things with you, about doing things in the future with you,” Steve says pointedly, “about how I want to stay with you.”

And Eddie had wanted Steve to stay with him, too. He’s just been thinking – well, he’d thought it was because they get along so well, that Steve had wanted to stick around. That it had only made sense.

“We never talked about… being anything else,” Eddie says, the protest a little weak even to his own ears. “I’m pretty sure I’d remember that.”

Steve pulls a sharp breath in, pinching at the bridge of his nose again; he leaves his hand there this time, eyes scrunched shut. “Just a few days ago, I told you how much I liked being with you. How good and how easy it felt compared to anyone else I’ve ever been with,” he says, barely more than a rough whisper. “And you said…”

I like being with you, too.

Eddie had said that.

He’d meant that he likes being around Steve, likes being his friend, definitely likes having sex with him, but he’d said it while combing his fingers through Steve’s hair, while cuddled up with him in bed, and – okay, yes, he can see the mixed signals there. He can see where Steve might have gotten the idea that they didn’t have an arrangement, that they were just together.

“I– I didn’t mean–”

“Obviously,” Steve snaps, dropping his hand from his face and turning back towards his car.

Eddie tsks, frustrated, and reaches out to grab Steve’s wrist – not pulling, just trying to keep his attention.

“Don’t,” Steve warns him, pulling back from his grasp for a second time.

“I didn’t mean to lead you on,” Eddie tries desperately. “I really… I really didn’t.”

“Yeah. I can see that. But Eddie…” Steve is quiet for a moment, posture so tense and still that Eddie suspects he’s not even breathing. “I’m probably the best-qualified asshole around to tell you that you really have to fucking think about how what you’re doing affects the people around you.”

Somehow, that stings more than any screamed insult Steve could have thrown at him.

“Steve…”

“I’ll come get my shit out of your place tomorrow,” Steve says, low and sharp, before getting into his car and slamming the door behind him.

After that, Eddie has no choice but to step back or get run over, and he watches until Steve’s taillights are no longer visible.

He can hear the hissing of some whispered conversation just beyond the door as he trudges back up the front steps, but his friends fall conspicuously quiet the moment he steps inside.

“…hey,” Gareth finally ventures after several seconds of awkward, sticky silence.

“Hey,” Eddie says flatly.

“Do you… want us to stay?” Jeff asks.

Slowly, Eddie shakes his head. “I think I should… I need to– think about shit.”

The boys all nod, throwing him variously sympathetic glances and clapping him on the shoulder on their way out. Oliver pauses, as if he’s going to say something, but Gareth gives him a shove and gets him out the door before he has the chance. Probably for the best.

Eddie feels numb as he trudges back towards his room, trying to figure out what the hell had just happened.

He flops down on his bed, face landing in a pillow that smells entirely too much like Steve’s shampoo. Probably because it’s on the side of the bed that Steve always takes. Next to the nightstand with the small stack of sports magazines that definitely aren’t Eddie’s. And the spare pair of glasses that also isn’t Eddie’s.

With a low tug in his gut, Eddie realizes how much of Steve’s stuff has crept into his room, into the trailer, into his life – how much Steve has become a part of his life, how much of Eddie’s day has been built around him, how much he’s come to lean on his presence, has come to want him there.

And Steve is going to take it all back sometime soon. Take all of his things away before he removes himself from Eddie’s life, too, because Eddie hadn’t been thinking and he hadn’t been careful and he hadn’t realized–

Eddie’s pretty sure he just broke up with Steve.

He’s also pretty sure he hadn’t wanted to.

His main consolation, as he curls up on his side, nose still buried in Steve’s pillow, is that as soon as Robin hears what happened (and she will hear, he has no doubt), she’ll probably come murder him.

At least he won’t have to wallow for long.

Part 2

[nikolai-vincent]

Y'all I have a big list of Byler things and I need help to make sure that everything I've stated is actually true and not my mind making things up💀🤣🤭 so prepare for a long list and I'll cut it down so it doesn't take years if you wanna scroll by it lmao

Mike tried calling Will all the time while he was in Cali (& could be the reason for weird airport interaction) Mike can't use a telephone to talk to El bc of of government listening in, so Dustin's words are about Mike calling Will but not being able to reach him.

It wasn't love at first sight, the offical season 1 trailer with the scene where they first find El, Mike's first thought is "That's not Will." And also this is Mike's plan to get rid of her from the night they found her, even though he is supposedly already in love with her since he said he loved her the moment he saw her?🤨

His monologue didn't help/wasn't fully true, El didn't have a single flashback of her and Mike throughout their whole relationship except for when they found her in the woods. They've been dating for roughly 9 months before breaking up for 3, then getting together again and currently at 6 months (so 1 year and 3 months of officially dating, having known each other fully for 3 years, although not fully because she was gone for a whole year) and yet she didn't have a single other memory besides the night they saved her?

Mike and El didn't speak that much for 2 full days while they were stuck in the van?? Even after Mike's love confession, all El was apparently talking about was how she feels like she lost the battle with Vecna and how Brenner had put it into her head and stuff.

Mike has a sort of superhero idealization for El. He's mentioned multiple times that she's a superhero, she's a machine that can help find Will, and it's shown throughout the seasons how much Mike loves superheroes. In my opinion, that's not a super great thing to compare your girlfriend to, especially after she has shown to want to be more than that, but feels like that's all she's good for now.

They never see eye to eye/always disregard the others feelings/attempt to be understanding. All of their arguments I've seen, they both try to be understanding at first, but then they shut each other down and speak for the other person when they're doubting each others thoughts (one scene perfectly showing this is their fight in El's room in season 4).

Mike and El knew each other for roughly a week (at 12 years old) before getting together and then immediately getting separated for a whole year, only to become reunited and jumping immediately into a relationship at 13 and ignoring their friends to only kiss each other for 6 months and not deepen their bond emotionally?? Then they break up like it's nothing and Mike doesn't know what she likes when he tries to buy her a gift to apologize (only after Lucas says something) (then getting into a fight with Will for the first time and apologizing as soon as possible on his own choice).

Mike has issues saying I love you (tried saying it once in s3 and couldn't even say the word "love", instead going for "blank makes you crazy" which El didn't understand. Only time he says it was in a high stress situation and he blurted it out to everyone except her, with a look of shock and confusion. S4 he doesn't say it at all, writing "from, Mike" all the time, to which he is confronted by her and only is able to say "I care for you... so much." And "I say it." ("It" being I love you) (which is a lie) That fight in El's room would've been the perfect time for him to tell her he loves her after he sees her crying to him about it, he could have perfectly said something like, "El, of course I love you. I'm sorry I don't say it, I'm just not used to feeling this way, but thank you for talking to me about it, I'll try to work on it." Or something to comfort her. In the end he is only able to say it in a high stress situation (AGAIN) and only after having a whole speech from Will, and needing Will to tell him not to stop and to say whatever it was he couldn't before. (Which, Will didn't know that Mike couldn't say I love you to her) Mike was given false hope that El needed him and felt better for being different because of him, which was a lie and those feelings were from Will himself, his speech was a veiled love confession.

Mike subtly (or unintentionally) compared both of his relationships with Will and El by saying that meeting Will "was the best thing he's ever done" but meeting El was "Not fate. Not destiny. Just simple, dumb luck." (He chose to befriend Will, by actively going up to him and asking, whereas he didn't choose to meet El, it was an accident).

Mike struggles to switch his focus between El and Will, we've seen throughout all of the seasons how Mike acts with Will and how he acts with El, and I'll be honest, they're pretty similar. He's soft, sweet, and casual with Will, and he's nice, gentle, and kind with El (just in general, relationship stuff aside). But then you put them in the same room and Mike doesn't know how to act properly with either of them, and we honestly don't see the real interactions with these three until season 3. I've noticed a lot that when Mike and El are in a relationship, they ignored everyone and just made out, but after they broke up, the whole group was together and had no issues with doing so (I guess the flayed helped with that, though lol).

Will is the only person that Mike will immediately try to apologize to if he did something wrong, whereas anyone else he blames others and doesn't apologize until someone tells him to (examples: Dustin told Mike to apologize to Lucas in season 1 after they fought, Mike was blaming Lucas and didn't want to apologize even though Mike was the one that started the fight. He didn't apologize to El in season 3 for the way he was acting, instead choosing to lie and needing help from Lucas on what to get for El as an apology (again, Mike knows nothing about El by this point still), and yet later on after he has a fight with Will, he bikes to Will's house to apologize, he blames himself, calls himself an asshole (with Lucas following, not leading). Seasone 4, the second fight that Mike and Will have is in the skating rink, Mike calls Will a douche and says he sabotaged the whole day by moping, rolling his eyes, and not talking but later on he goes to Will and immediately starts apologizing and says he was being a self pitying idiot, and telling Will that he wasn't being a douche and Will didn't deserve to be called that).

Mike and Will are very different compared to their friendships with Dustin, Lucas, or Max. (With proof being from Mike himself, saying "Max and Dustin and Lucas.. they're-they're great.. they're great, it's just-it's Hawkins, it's not the same without you. And maybe I was worrying too much about El, and I feel like I lost you or something." (Something along those lines lol)

The Duffers have compared Mike and El's relationship to Elliot and E.T, a friendship between a kid and an alien.

El was upset with Mike during the cabin cleaning scene (giving him a side eye and sighing heavily before going to her room) after Mike's supposed love confession.

Mike agreed (by nodding) when Will was talking in the desert about how it's scary to open up to people you care about the most bc of them possibly not liking the truth (Will was comforting Mike about El during this, sort of) (Why would El not like the truth if the truth was that Mike loves her?? Sus).

Mike showed a big difference in priority when it came to searching for Will vs El. In season 1 after Will went missing, Mike (+ the party) was told by the police to stay home and not interfere in the investigation. Mike disobeys and goes out (+ the party) to search for Will in the dark and rain. After meeting El, they use her as a weapon to continue searching for Will. After finding Will's "body" in the quarry, Mike switches on El and is mean and blames her for not telling the truth about Will. El then shows Mike through the walkie-talkie that Will is alive and Mike believes her (even after seeing Will's body, he has hope again that Will could be alive), he's nice to El again after this. Vs, when El goes missing at the end of S1 and going into S2, Mike believes she's dead (although not seeing a body), and doesn't go searching for her. He sees her through the window on the same night she disappeared, but he never goes out to look for her. The only thing he does for the whole year is try to talk to her through a walkie-talkie, but he never leaves his house to try and find her (even though he's seen proof of her being alive) while she's gone, Mike's priority is fully focused on Will and his possession. In season 3, Hopper threatens Mike to stay away from El (similarly to what he said about staying home and not looking for Will in season 1) and he immediately agrees and doesn't try to see her.

Mike has a lot of familial/platonic parallels with El's father figures than he does romantic, he's always paralleled with Brenner (with proof in season 4, the "what did you do?" / "what have you done?" scene at the rink) which is so bad and sad, and some scenes similarly with her and Hopper.

Gotta say it, Mike has looked at Will's lips multiple times (at least 4, off the top of my head) (which is 4 times more than he has with any of his other friends probably) and he barely does it with El. If it was a mistake during filming, they would've shot it again, bc they were obvious but they stayed in.

And just with the way Mike looks at Will compared to his other friends or even El, that boy looks more in love than the one canonically in love.💀

In both season 1 and season 2 (besides their first kiss and the snowball (which weren't planned originally, I believe)) Mike has never been the one leaning in or attempting to kiss El, he just stands and stares confused as she does all the work.

Mike has Will's art all over his basement from when they were children (and some in his room, I think?) But he throws away and crumples all of the letters he receives from his long distance girlfriend? Sus.

The difference in Mike's reactions to being broken up with romantically vs platonically in season 3. His face shows a sort of disgust and almost guilty when El breaks up with him, and his face is full of guilt and sadness when Will tells him he wanted to stay with him forever.

Mike was fruity af during his apology to Will in S4 Ep4 just saying.

Canonically Mike only smiles in pictures when Will is in them as well. (Photos in tags bc I'm at the limit😔)

It's been confirmed that Mike is clueless about Will's feelings for him, so I'm wondering why he was so affected by the 6 months away with only a couple phone calls that lead to him not even wanting to hug Will at the airport (even though he saw how happy and excited Will was to see him again) when he hugged Will perfectly fine at the end of S3 (even though they never actually resolved their first fight in the rain?) Hm. Sus.

Mike has Smalltown Boy on his (OFFICIAL) spotify playlist?? A song about "the need for gay men to flee small-town intolerance and pursue reinvention in the big city. " ???

Just a cute thing about Mike and Will beings friends since the first day of kindergarten (when they were 5 years old) and having the longest friendship out of everyone in the party.

Kind of iffy about this one but the song Tarzan Boy was playing at the roller rink (a song about being free and doing what you want) when Will, Mike, and El were at the table. (Probably not a lot of significance but still a thing).

From an outsiders perspective, Mike and El were not happy when they were skating at the rink together, from Will's perspective, they were super happy and laughing together while Will was left behind. This is shown when Angela walks into the rink with her friends, we see Mike and El from her pov and their faces are very stoic while they hold hands.

That's all I have for now, I've had these written in my notes for like 2 years lmao but please, if you've even gotten this far, let me know if anything looks inaccurate and I'll fix it:) and also feel free to add anything you've noticed as well! I'd love to see it.

[hellslayersomething]

thoughts on all the DA4 news this past week, from a tired old veteran who's been wandering the bloodied plains of the DA fandom since Origins' release:

I still don't believe that this game actually exists and won't until it's in my hand, in my PS5, I've clocked 50 hours, and I hit credits.

After the news came out that there were 7 companions, I told a friend I would need a solid 4/7 of them to be pre-existing characters in the canon. Harding, Neve, Lucanis, and Emmerich put it at exactly that number, so good show there.

The "Hero Shooter" character reveal trailer was a massive mistake. BioWare and the influencers they're paying had to spend the past two days doing frantic PR to convince people that the game doesn't actually look like that, it's not indicative of the game's tone, it definitely feels like Tevinter Nights and not Fortnite, and it's not a fee-to-pay live service game. They should have led with the gameplay video.

All of the people freaking out about Lucanis being labelled a "Mage Killer" just goes to show that DA discourse truly is a circle. (Also, read "The Wigmaker Job", it's so good.)

The dialogue suuuuucks. Wow, it's been a while since I've encountered a game that respects its audience's intelligence this little. [Earthquake] Harding: "The tremors are getting worse!" [demons show up] Neve: "And we've got demons!" Is BioWare expecting the core player base to consist of people who have never encountered media before? The extent to which the game over-exposits is quite actually mind boggling. I'm genuinely curious if there's anyone who watched this video who didn't come out of it feeling insulted by the game's lack of trust that you have basic cause-and-effect recognition skills. I know people like to bandy about "media literacy is dead", but surely it hasn't gotten so bad that players need to be told out loud "Watch out for lightning" when a boss shoots lightning at them. I'm hoping this was just included for the sake of the gameplay video, but several of these very bad lines seem pretty integral to what's happening on screen, so I guess we'll see.

The dialogue and voicing for the trash mobs is especially bad. I hate to say the word, but I truly think "cringe" is applicable here.

Nice FFXIV reference. (Listen, if this game is going to play follow-the-leader with any one other game, since apparently DA can't get away from that habit, FFXIV is the one I'd want them to chase. Certainly a better fit than Overwatch.)

The battle system seems fine. Reminds me of DA2's, which was perfectly cromulent. Sincerely, I don't expect deeply satisfying gameplay from DA, they've never delivered it before, no need to start now. Passable is fine.

Happy to see the DA2 dialogue wheel return too. Hope that means the invisible personality system comes along with it.

No rivalry system :( Again :(((((

Seriously though, the marketing for this game is a massive mess and their marketing lead should probably be out of the job. All of the news from this week has led to increased confusion about what the game is, what it's called, whether it is DA4 or not, whether it's a single player RPG or not, whether it's an effective franchise reboot or not--and they're all but shadow-dropping it (theoretically) after 10 full years of releasing no other Dragon Age games. This franchise has close to no momentum (many people considered it outright dead until this week), and now that they're ready to start actually talking about DA4, they've completely stumbled out of the gate and given themselves only 3-6 months to come up with a PR plan to correct for that. Embarrassing, frankly.

I guess that's it. The new gameplay video has returned my mood on DA4 from "absolutely the fuck not" after the character reveal video back to a resounding "I nothing this game", which is...actually maybe a worse place for me to be. The last time I went into game feeling a hollow nothing from the promotional materials, it was FFXVI, and we all know how that turned out for me. Anyway, in conclusion:

[kylesvariouslistsandstuff]

We're about a month away from the release of WISH...

Walt Disney Animation Studios, and by extension the whole dang company built on this cartoon bedrock, celebrated their 100th year yesterday... ABC aired ENCANTO, in addition to the world premiere of the short film ONCE UPON A STUDIO (which apparently has now been chopped off of WISH and will debut elsewhere), and an edited version of the WISH trailer... Nothing pertaining to the future was unveiled...

(By the by, I don't have cable, so... I didn't get to see ONCE UPON A STUDIO. Sadface.)

You'd think, for the company's 100th anniversary... That there'd be *some* word on what was coming up next from Walt Disney Animation Studios?

Their new movie is in theaters next month, and we don't know what the November 27, 2024 release from them is...

By now, we usually know what's next... For example:

WISH was first unveiled in September 2022 at the D23 Expo, which was a little over a year before the movie's target release date.

STRANGE WORLD, by contrast, was announced a little under a year before its release. That film was revealed to the public via the trades and Disney themselves on their socials.

ENCANTO was revealed in December 2020 during the company's Investors Day event, that less than a year before it came out.

RAYA AND THE LAST DRAGON was another D23 reveal, the August 2019 one to be exact. At the time, RAYA was set to be a Thanksgiving 2020 release until COVID-19 complications pushed it to March 2021.

This, of course, does not count the rumors and scoops. Sometimes, various sites get news on Disney animated movies before Disney themselves say anything. For example, long before Disney announced RAYA in August 2019 to the public, scooper sites were revealing info like "WDAS' next movie is DRAGON EMPIRE". I sometimes heard stuff from the trenches, which was always fun. I remember little snips of what ENCANTO was going to be maybe a year or two before announcement? STRANGE WORLD is interesting because not only were scoopers saying a movie called "Searcher Clade" was coming, but the Venture - the airship the Clade family and the explorers use to reach Avalonia's insides - was Easter Egged in the ENCANTO credits. ENCANTO debuted just a few weeks before the announcement, not even...

So yeah, I thought I'd look at the patterns of their recent releases. We're definitely well beyond the days where you'd hear about things 2-3 years in advance. Remember how ZOOTOPIA, a March 2016 release, was first unveiled at the 2013 D23 Expo? Fun times.

I'm guessing we'll hear about this new WDAS movie, reportedly an original fantasy story set in the Middle East (is this Suzi Yoonessi's film?), either right before WISH comes out... Or maybe a little after. Maybe current world events pertaining to the setting would make an imminent announcement seem a little insensitive?

After this movie, all we know about on the horizon are undated FROZEN and ZOOTOPIA sequels, with next to no info on who's attached.

There's also still the Disney+ shows that are in the works. We got none this year, despite earlier reports indicating otherwise. IWAJU, MOANA: The Series, and TIANA remain without firm release dates, but are all aiming for next year. IWAJU's absence is especially unusual, it's pretty far long as far as I know. Last year's D23, again - in September, gave us an image. Maybe it's been pulled back? Retooled? Maybe because it was outsourced to Cinesite and kinda resembles a Disney Junior show... Maybe it's been dropped as a WDAS project and is now a Disney TV Animation production? It's only speculation on my end, because that show is a collaboration with upstart Nigerian house Kugali, and that would be a partnership squandered if WDAS passed on the show.

Anyways, with Pixar... We got WIN OR LOSE around the corner, and next year ELIO and INSIDE OUT 2 have firm release dates. Both of those, by the way, officially revealed at the September 2022 D23 Expo. Pixar usually rolls 'em well before release, WDAS cuts it a lot closer these days for some reason. Like, are we gonna know what the summer 2025 Pixar movie is *before* the fall 2024 WDAS movie? (I'm being facetious here, haha.)

I'll keep trying to be patient, but I'm like burning to know... What is *this* movie?

Worth noting that a while back, Disney Animation CCO Jennifer Lee stated that Suzi Yoonessi, Josie Trinidad, and Marc Smith had movies in the works. At the time, Carlos Lopez Estrada had a movie in the works as well, but then he was pulled off of it (reportedly called FOSTER) to take over RAYA... and then he left Disney altogether not too long after RAYA came out. He was also set to direct a live-action/CGI ROBIN HOOD remake for the enterprise... So that leaves Yoonessi (whose Instagram bio still says "Director - Disney Animation"), Trinidad (who recently directed episodes of ZOOTOPIA+), and Smith (who was recently revealed to have come up with the idea for FROZEN III, he's probably directing that if Chris Buck is unavailable).

So yeah... This information, along with two sequels...

I said it before, but I don't think either ZOOTOPIA 2 or FROZEN III are next year's movie. If they were, I think we'd know who is directing/writing/etc. FROZEN III, given that Marc Smith came up with the idea, might be closer to us than ZOOTOPIA 2 is. Or not. FROZEN II came out 4 years ago, ZOOTOPIA is over 7 years old, one would think ZOOTOPIA 2 comes first. They're just very mum on who is involved. I'd like to think ZOOTOPIA 2 isn't being directed by Byron Howard, who is likely pursuing another original movie after ENCANTO, but maybe not? ZOOTOPIA 2 might reincorporate the whole movies' worth of ideas that were thrown out during its development (I particularly like that more James Bond-like story set on an island that it could've been), or maybe it'll go for an all-new story and idea. I have no idea where FROZEN III could go, I'm not as invested in those movies.

While WDAS usually does one-a-year, always settling for Thanksgiving, it'd be cool if they take a year where Pixar doesn't have two new movies, and release two movies that year. If they FEASIBLY CAN, that is. We don't want CRUNCH, now... But in the scenario that they could... Pixar has two for 2024, and two for 2026... Who's to say... WDAS can't slot in, maybe, ZOOTOPIA 2 in the spring of 2025, and have an original out for Thanksgiving? Just spitballing, here. ZOOTOPIA and MOANA both came out in 2016, so why the heck not?

Anyways, hope to know more soon about what's up with the studio that's literally why this whole damn company even exists in the first place.

[feuqueerfire]

Change2561 Changing Project Lineup 2024 Showcase

I've made posts about GMMTV 2023 and 2024 (pt 1 & 2) trailer reactions but I don't tend to watch other companies' trailers because 1) some shows I'm excited about might not end up happening and 2) even if it does happen... might take 2-3 years lol. We're impatient about GMMTV's output timing but at least they usually release all their shows and withint 1.5 years of the pilot trailer since they're a big enough company with a System.

Change2561 seems to fall into that category as well, since they're kind of like GMMTV's sister company as they're a subsidiary of GMM Grammy? I'm not 100% certain, it's what I've gathered from people's comments. So I think there's a high change we'll get the shows + in a timely manner. I'm excited!

Also, I'm not watching this live, so I know what the shows are + very basic premise.

Rankings:

Most Anticipated:

Goddess Bless You From Death: suchhhh a good trailer and sounds right up my alley, I'm really hoping for a miracle with strong script + acting + cinematography. Currently one of my most anticipated BLs in general.

I'll Watch Depending On Reviews

Affair: let's go rich/poor GL!

Pit Babe S2: please no mpreg, I can't do pregnancy storylines at allll

I'm The Most Beautiful Count: looks hilarious and I like the time travel concept, but I've never been keen on shows with many suitors (even love triangles can get too much for me), so I'll see how it goes.

Hmm

This Love Doesn't Have Long Beans: idk, maybe I'll watch it if it receives lots of praise

Trailer-by-trailer thoughts below the cut.

Title: This Love Doesn't Have Long Beans

Pair: Sailub/Pon

Thoughts: It was released like a month ago but I didn't feel the desire to watch the trailer then and now that I've tried watching the trailer... idk, I don't really care. I was quite into Jeff/Alan in Pit Babe before souring on them in the later episodes and maybe that's bleeding into this. I skipped some of the scenes after the 2 minute mark, long ass trailer. I'll watch it if people Love it.

Title: Affair

Pair: idk but it's a GL :)

Thoughts: Girl, a 7 minute trailer?! I watched like 3 minutes. I'm into it, it's a boss's daughter/maid's daughter forbidden romance across class status. The leads are cute together. I'll add it to the watchlist and hope it's good

Aside: It's from a novel by Chao Planoy, who's also the author of GAP, Blank, Pluto, Us, My Marvellous Dream Is You, and more. People on twitter hate this author so bad, talking about how her books are really problematic and they're always glad when the plot is changed in the show but I also never quite know why they call her problematic, like okay Blank has a big age gap but I'm interested in the show because of said age gap so... lol I guess. Anyway, hope the shows are good, idc about the novels necessarily because many BL novels are also bad or 80% smut or with 0 plot or whatever.

Title: I’m The Most Beautiful Count

Pair: Suppanut harem haha but endgame Ping/Nut?

Thoughts: Nut had a real-life boyfriend for like 7 years, right? Love to see out actors being employed. Oh, a kathoey character.

This is so fun lol Long ass trailer again but I watched most of it cuz too much was going on. I'm not fully sure I'll watch it but it's interesting for sure, mostly for the main character + time travel concept. I don't really care for shows with many different people fighting for the affections of one person. Although people are excited about harem possibilities, I don't know I think it'll end with Ping/Nut rather than harem endgame.

Title: Pit Babe The Series 2

Pair: Pooh/Pavel

Thoughts: I didn't know a season 2 was on the table but I saw an interview with the crew that apparently they just thought of different scenarios over lunch one time for fun and that's how it was born lol. Starting the trailer with the minor bad guys from season 1 in prison and fighting is objectively hilarious. Kenta I fucking love you, I'm sad we won't get Pete/Kenta. Not the Mama/Papa again, please no mpreg plsplsplspls no T.T I don't know if I like that people who were killed in the first season are back again hmm. Again, long trailer so skipped a lot in the second half but watched enough to get the gist + no mpreg in the trailer at least lol. I'd be curious to watch it since I've already watched season 1 but I'll first listen to reviews saying whether it's actually good

Title: Goddess bless you from death

Pair: Pooh/Pavel (or is it Pavel/Pooh in this one? Update: based on some tiktok comments, it's still PoohPavel based on the novel hah fun either way), side couple Michael/TopTen (North/Sonic in Pit Babe)

Thoughts: Watching this one last even though it was released 2nd-last because from the title and poster and people's comments about it being dark, I think this could be my favourite of the trailers. and omg I was correct, it's suchhhhh a good pilot trailer, what the heck?! It's dark and actually gory and scary, I'm sooo excited, it's now one of my most-anticipated BLs.

Also, I'd previously seen this post on r/ThaiBL about the author of this novel wanting Pooh/Pavel to do liveaction for this ghosthunting BL, I'm glad that came to fruition haha

[girltomboy]

Watched & read

I kept putting off making a post about this, but a few weeks ago my bf and I watched The Banshees of Inisherin (we got stuck in a "what should we watch?" cycle and decided to pick this one because it sounded fun). It was incredible, probably one of the best movies I watched this year, and it deserved every award and praise it got. It starts off as a regular, pretty sad but not particularly unremarkable story of a friendship breakup, apparently one-sided and out of nowhere. We know such a situation in real life, it's sad and seemingly irrational, but it's nothing wild. But then the movie spirals into this brutal, absurdist madness, a ridiculous and crude battle of egos and petty but deadly mistakes. It's a well-written and absolutely gorgeous black comedy that doesn't shy away from digging into the muddiest side of human nature. My bf and I talked about it for days afterwards, and even told our friends about it (since it hits a little too close to home for some of them 🤡).

The next movie I'm making this post for/about is It Lives Inside. My friend and I saw the trailer for this movie at the cinema not long ago, and it looked pretty interesting so we added it to our watchlist. Since we couldn't watch it at the cinema (our favorite seats kept getting taken & we couldn't make online reservations for it, for some reason) we found it online this weekend and watched it. It follows the story of an Indian teenage girl in America who faces tension from her mother at home, for rejecting her Indian culture. She also has a dispute with her tormented childhood bestie, and ends up unleashing a malevolent spirit that takes her friend away. I didn't really get most of this movie tbh, it either had an abysmally small budget because the narrative relied a lot on vibes (not even the good horror kind, just Nothing), or it was very very badly written (the latter is definitely true regardless of its budget). The acting was terrible too, but in fairness the actors probably did not have much to work with. It didn't have any quality or memorable jumpscares, zero atmosphere, you can literally tell which sequences were made just for the trailer. At times it's edited just like a parody horror. There's very little context for why things happen the way they do, the ending just leaves you very confused, it ends just because the runtime (or budget) expires, not because the movie naturally and organically arrives to a conclusion. Anyway, it was entertaining enough, but I'm so glad we didn't find tickets for it at the theatre and didn't have to pay to see it, because it would've been even more infuriating to have paid money for this trash.

The last thing on my post is The Glass Bead Game by Herman Hesse. It took me 2 months to finish this book, but considering the fact that this year I finally got back into reading consistently after the unintentional hiatus I took during the pandemic, when I didn't read anything for about 3 years and I lost any and all interest and enjoyment I ever derived out of reading... I think I'm doing very well in that regard. This book was on my reading list for one of my favorite classes in college, but obviously I didn't have the time to read it, and when my coworker recommended it to me (only for me to later find out that she didn't actually read it... she was just going off of vibes - Pisces things) I decided there's no time like the present. The book is a biography of an intellectual master who retreats to a region established for the intellectual elite to study the glass bead game - an elaborate puzzle-like game that combines various elements like mathematics, linguistics, music, etc. I was a bit gagged when I found out that this game - completely fictional, sure - was never going to be described or explained in the book. It's giving camp but mysterious, which I loved. Mr. Knecht has a bit of a homosexual aura based on his many tumultuous and intense friendships that consume him and on his dignified, serene presence that every man he comes in contact with admires. I forgot to add that this elite establishment called Castalia is exclusively open to men, because of course it is, and women are seen as malicious and manipulative temptresses always ready to betray and distract men from reaching enlightenment, while men from the outside world who allow women in their lives are seen as dirty, instinct-ruled monkeys (as are people in the outside world, in general, perceived by the Castalians). They separate themselves from the outside world and live in what seems like medieval conditions, in an attempt to transcend materialism and focus exclusively on intellectual and spiritual endeavors, like the glass bead game, of which Knecht becomes a master. Well, fast forward a couple hundreds of pages and Mr. Knecht realizes that, through all this superior isolation, Castalia attempts very hard to separate itself from history and the outside world, which FUNDS the very existence of Castalia to begin with, and he deems this as hypocritical, shallow, and dangerous, and asks to leave. After some quarrels with the president he leaves Castalia and joins society, he realizes that the most fulfilling and rewarding position for him is that of a teacher to pupils, but he doesn't go to teach at a regular school; instead he arranges to mentor the teenage son of an old friend of his, at a remote cabin in the mountains. Enthralled by the teenergy and vitality of the young boy, he follows him into a cold lake at sunrise, where he goes into hypothermic shock and sinks dead. Plummeting into that lake feeling inspired by the impulsivity of a teenage boy was probably the second most respectable and brave thing Knecht ever did, the first being to leave Castalia.

Overall this novel was a paradoxical and philosophical futuristic lens on the past that I mostly enjoyed. I get a bit overwhelmed when I try to think of what to read next. This week I remembered this really funny and enjoyable book I thrifted a few years ago, but left it at my parents' old apartment, and of course they threw it out along with the rest of my stuff. And I don't even know where I could find it again.

[munson-blurbs]

Saw your requests were open and just had an idea where Eddie survived the bat attack in s4 and is self conscious of the scars they left behind? Can be smut or fluff or fluffy smut I don’t mind :)

One fluffy fix-it fic, coming right up!

Warnings: so much fluff, so much angst, mentions of sex/nudity but no explicit details, descriptions of Demobat attack and scars, mentions of hating one's body

WC: 2.2k

A/N: Thank you for requesting this <3 I am so partial to Eddie's vulnerability, and this was really cathartic for me to write.

--

"Hey, Steve?" you turn to your friend and co-worker, who is busy checking out a group of 20-something women who just walked into Family Video. "Steve!" you call a little louder, finally getting his attention.

"Huh-what?" he looks over, flustered.

"Hi. Could you stop drooling over those college girls long enough to help me with something?" you tease, but your question is actually serious, something you need to confide in him.

Steve gives you the middle finger but rests his elbows on the counter and leans in. "Sure, fine."

"So you know how you and Robin set me up with Eddie over the summer?" you start, fiddling with your vest. You always play with your clothes when you're nervous.

"Uh-huh," he nods. "And as I recall, it was a great job on our part, because you two have been inseparable ever since." He laughs. "I call best man at the wedding, by the way."

You look down at the ground, tears welling in your eyes. "Steve, I...I don't think there's gonna be a wedding." you confess quietly, voice barely above a whisper.

"Y/N, what's going on? Are you...are you breaking up with him?" Steve looks heartbroken, almost as if you're breaking up with him and not his buddy.

"I think I have to. He's not interested in me anymore, but he won't pull the plug on it. It just keeps dragging on."

Steve wrinkles his nose and furrows his brows. He can't ask his follow-up questions because Robin bursts through the door, ten minutes late for her shift.

"Sorry, sorry, Vickie and I fell asleep and I thought I set an alarm..." she trails off after seeing the puzzled look on Steve's face and the devastated look on yours. "Who died?"

"Y/N and Eddie's relationship," Steve reports sadly as you elbow him.

"What?" Robin screeches, attracting the attention of the customers. She's unbothered by this as she continues, "why did you break up?"

"We didn't break up yet," you say as you glare at Steve, "but I can't stay in a relationship with someone who doesn't want to be with me. It's not fair to either of us."

"Is this a joke?" Robin asks you, then asks Steve: "Is she joking? She has to be joking."

Steve shrugs. "Seems pretty serious to me."

"Y/N, why on God's green Earth would you think that Munson isn't into you?" Robin's eyes keep shifting from you to Steve. "The man never shuts up about how much he loves you, how he 'found the one.' Honestly, it's kinda nauseating."

"Because..." you start, then drop your voice to a whisper, "we've been together for six months and we haven't done anything more than kiss. Fully clothed." You're so embarrassed to admit it. While most 20-year-old guys would be frothing at the mouth to sleep with their partner, or at the very least see them naked, Eddie would always pull the plug on make-out sessions once things got really heated.

Steve and Robin share a knowing look but say nothing.

"What?" you ask, desperate to be in on their secret. "What do you two know that I don't?"

Robin sighs. "Look, I'm the first person to tell girls to dump a loser boyfriend. But Eddie...his situation is more complex than that." She places a comforting hand atop yours. "Just talk to him before you end things, okay? Give him a chance to explain."

"Okay," you agree numbly, although you're not sure if you want an explanation about why your boyfriend is apparently repulsed by you.

~

After work, you drive to Eddie's trailer. He knows your work schedule and is already waiting outside, shivering in the cold December air.

"Eddie, what are you doing? It's freezing!" you call out as you turn off your car. The sound of your voice immediately puts a smile on his face.

"Waitin' for my girl to come warm me up," he walks over to your old truck to help you out, extending a hand as you hop out of the driver's seat. You take it, and as soon as your feet touch the ground, he pulls you in for a kiss. You're hesitant to return it, very aware of the impending conversation you need to have, and he senses your resistance.

"No kiss?" he asks, pouting his lips. He's so cute that it may kill you. You may literally die of Eddie Munson Sweetness Overload.

"Hey, um, Eds, can we talk inside?" you give his hand a quick squeeze. He stands frozen for a moment but then nods.

"Uh, sure. You're kinda scaring me, though." He shuffles ahead of you to open the door.

"Thanks." Your voice is barely audible. You make a beeline for the couch and pat the spot next to you. Eddie sits and takes your hands in his.

"Eddie, I need you to be honest with me. I'm tough; I can take it," you crack a small smile, trying to be brave when you actually feel like sobbing. "Do you want to be with me?"

Your boyfriend's eyes widen. "Of-of course, baby. Why would you think that I don't? I practically worship the ground you walk on. Just ask Steve and Robin!"

"Then h-how come," your voice breaks and you try to blink back tears, "how come you keep pushing me away when I try to take things farther? I don't want to pressure you, and I respect if you're not ready, but..." You feel a tear slide down your cheek and you get frustrated with your own emotions. "It's okay if you're not attracted to me," you finish quietly.

"Oh. Oh, sweetheart," he pulls you in for a tight hug, as close as he can get while sitting on a sofa. "Baby, that's not it at all. You are the most beautiful, sexy, incredibly gorgeous woman I've ever met." He rubs his eyes and you can practically see him overthinking. "Come with me," he says and leads you into his room.

"Now you're scaring me," you muse but listen. He moves an empty box of Honeycomb cereal from his bed onto his already overflowing dresser and sits you down.

"What I'm about to tell you is going to sound...insane, at the very least. But you can ask Robin and Steve. Even Dustin, although he's never much of a reliable source anyway."

And then Eddie launches into a story about a place called the Upside Down, a pseudo-Hawkins that's overrun with monsters and controlled by someone called Vecna. Vecna, he explains, is the reason why Chrissy, Fred, and Patrick died, and why Max was in a coma.

"And-and you remember the Starcourt Mall fire?" He's sputtering now, as though he's unable to stop talking now that he's started. "That damage was actually caused by a creature called the Mind Flayer. And it was defeated by Mike Wheeler's telekinetic girlfriend and Henderson's super genius girlfriend." He goes on about the Hawkins Lab, Russian involvement, government cover-ups, the Will Byers case that got his little sheep involved in this mess. You take it all in, processing the information silently.

Finally, after you stay silent for longer than Eddie would like, you tell him the words he's needed to hear: "I believe you."

"You do?"

"Yeah. There's always been something weird about this town, all of the disappearances and deaths and fires. I have a lot of follow-up questions," you joke lightly. "But...Eddie, what does this have to do with us not having sex? Does Vecna spare virgins? Because I hate to break it to you, it's a little late for both of us if that's the case."

Eddie shakes his head, tousling his curly mop of hair. "No, that's not it. When I got wrapped up in this, I was so determined to be a hero. I didn't think I had it in me, but after I played Sweetheart in the Upside Down, I just got this...rush, you know? This overwhelming urge to avenge all these deaths, to protect my friends. To be the hero I was too afraid to be outside of Hellfire." He swallows the lump in his throat.

"After Henderson and I ran back to Hawkins--the real Hawkins--the Demobats followed us. They were gonna infiltrate, so I-I went back."

"You went back?" you ask incredulously.

He offers a tight smile. "Hard to believe, isn't it? The same guy who's scared to show you a little vulnerability was voluntarily fighting off a swarm of bats in an alternate dimension."

"What happened?" you whisper, too stunned to cry, though you feel the tears prickling.

"They attacked me. It was awful. The screeching, the bites that seemed to come from all directions, like they wouldn't stop until..." He's trembling and lets out a heaving sob. "Dustin and Steve dragged me out, got me to the hospital just in time. A few more minutes and I wouldn't be here."

"No," you say involuntarily, not wanting to picture a world without Eddie Munson. Your Eddie.

"And every time I see the scars, I just think about how ugly they are, how ugly I am. I promised myself that I'd never let anyone else see them. But when I went to visit Robin and Steve at Family Video and I saw you, so damn pretty even in that horrendous uniform." You can't help but giggle at the compliment. "Harrington was totally oblivious, but Robin noticed me staring at you right away and told me that I'd be a complete moron if I survived all of that and didn't even attempt to get your number."

"That's why you came to visit when they weren't working," you mused, mostly to yourself.

"Honestly, I figured we'd go out, you'd realize what a loser I am, and that would be it. I never thought..." he brings your hand to his lips, kissing it softly, "never thought that we'd love each other this much."

"Of course I love you, Eddie. I'll always love you," you reassure him. "And I'll keep loving you after you show me your scars."

"Okay. I'll show you. But I want to warn you, even though they're healing well, they're still..."

You interrupt him gently. "It's okay. I'm ready."

Eddie nods and stands up. He slowly lifts his shirt and grimaces slightly. You stifle a gasp. His torso is marred with grotesque bite marks, fading but still prominent. There are parts of his skin that look mismatched, and you realize that the Demobats took so much of him that he needed skin grafts. You hear a sniffle; he's crying harder, and you wipe the tears from his face.

"Can I touch them?" you whisper. "Or will it hurt too much?"

"Just be gentle," he concedes. You lightly run a finger over the pink ridges, in awe of his courage.

"Eddie, you're so beautiful," you say finally and allow yourself to cry alongside him. "How could you ever believe that I'd think otherwise?" You lean in and place soft, purposeful kisses all over his chest and stomach.

"You don't think they're disgusting?" He looks down, defeated. "Because I do. I hate them. Hate them so fucking much."

"I think..." you choose your words carefully. "If I could take away the pain you went through, the pain that led to these scars, I'd do it in a heartbeat. But the scars themselves? Never." You pull him back down so he's sitting next to you again. "They're part of you, and I love every part of you."

Eddie takes your face in his strong hands and kisses you until you're both forced to come up for air.

"I'm not really ready to take my shirt off for long periods of time. I don't even like to shower anymore because I don't want to see them. I just do it so I don't smell for you." He smiles through his tears.

"And I am so appreciative," you joke back. "We don't have to do anything involving undressing until you're ready, Eds. There's no pressure, okay?" You pause for a moment before asking, "But if your concern was with me seeing you, why did you always stop me when I tried to take off my shirt?"

Eddie bows his head bashfully. "I didn't want you to think I was just some douchebag trying to get you naked without ever, y'know, reciprocating."

"So what you're saying is that you're okay with me..."

"Sweetheart, I am more than okay with that," he murmurs, pressing another kiss to your lips. "I think about it more than one man should, honestly."

You pull your legs underneath you and snuggle into Eddie's chest. "Good to know." He looks at you amusedly and you clarify. "I'm being serious! I'm glad you like the way I look. I was worried that you didn't."

His arm snakes its way over your shoulder. "Never want you to feel like that again."

You hold out your pinky. "Promise me that we won't hide from each other anymore. When something upset us, about ourselves or about each other, we'll be honest about it."

Eddie smiles, a sight so beautiful that it takes your breath away. He wraps his pinky around yours.

"I promise."

--

[talesofesther]

Moonstruck - Part 5

Eddie Munson x Reader

Series Summary: Eddie knew he was doomed the moment his eyes landed on you and his heart jumped in his chest. You, princess of Hawkins High, one of the most popular and beloved girls of the school, with perfect grades and perfect charisma; and the daughter of Hawkins chief of police.

A/N: Hope you like this part, more notes at the end <3.

Masterlist | Read Part 4 here

The incessant beeping of the bedside alarm clock was annoying, slowly pulling Eddie away from dreamland right as the fake scenario his mind conjured up was about to get to its best part.

He groaned, reaching a lazy hand out to turn off the alarm, accidentally knocking the device to the ground, but it did the job anyway. Soft stripes of morning light were seeping through his bedroom window, lighting up the messy room.

Eddie rubbed the sleep from his eyes and stretched his arms to the side, the motion causing his elbow to hit a ball of fur that lay just beside him. He heard a startled and loud meow right after, making him jump and almost fall off his own bed.

Propping himself up on his elbows and with his drowsy eyes now open, Eddie glared at the black cat as if he had personally offended him. "Jesus dude, how'd you even get in here?"

The green-eyed feline didn't move, his paws tucked under his body as he started purring softly.

Eddie ran a hand through his hair, fingers getting stuck on a few loose knots. He blinked the last remains of sleep from his eyes, the curtains on his open window flew with the wind. "Touché," he mumbled, figuring the black cat sneaked in during the night. He was one of the stray cats from the trailer park, or, not much of a stray anymore considering Eddie has been feeding him on the regular, and apparently, he was sleeping inside now too.

With lazy steps, Eddie made his way to the bathroom, casting a last glance at the clock on the floor to make sure he was on time. The trailer was empty, as it was most mornings before Eddie left for school.

After freshening up, he was rummaging through his wardrobe for clothes; throwing his pajama pants on the bed, and mumbling an apology when they landed right on top of his fluffy visitor. He settled for a dark red hoodie and his jeans, prioritizing comfort.

Once ready, he turned around and cradled the cat in his arms. The animal clung to the bed with his claws, letting out an overdramatic meow as Eddie tucked him under his arm.

"Stop complaining, today's the big day, if anything I should be the nervous one," Eddie told the cat, walking to the kitchen and opening the fridge. Both he and the black ball of fur - held up by Eddie's left forearm, paws dangling - analyzed the contents of the fridge.

Eddie was nervous, very. Today was the day he would know if he would finally graduate this year or not, and he hoped, prayed to a god he didn't believe in, that he would. Because his last four months with you have been the best of his life, he smiled more than he ever has before and was already addicted to the warmth that you never failed to bring to his chest.

The constant rapid thudding of his heart was a telling, as was the way his fingers tapped the fridge's door and how he nibbled at the inside of his cheek. He was afraid that fate wouldn't favor him once again, afraid that you'd move on, leave town and he would be stuck behind, again. In the back of his mind, Eddie knew that he'd never recover if that happened.

Milk and cereal would have to do, he laid everything on top of the kitchen's counter, along with the cat. Turning around, Eddie grabbed two bowls, one bigger and the other smaller, and a spoon.

"I am hoping for the best, didn't do all that studying for nothing," Eddie mumbled, brows furrowed as he filled one of the bowls with milk, watching the cat's little nose smell his hand. "And I don't wanna leave her either, that is if she'll have me." He pushed the bowl towards the black creature, who started eagerly drinking the fresh milk.

"So, what do you think?" Eddie leaned his elbows on the counter, raising his eyebrows as if the cat understood every word; who knows, maybe he did. "About the… school, not her, she's-" He cleared his throat, feeling heat come to his cheeks for no apparent reason.

The cat kept drinking, his tail lazily moving from side to side on top of the beige counter. He licked his lips once he was finished, sitting down with his green eyes looking at Eddie before he started licking one of his paws.

"Yeah, you're right," Eddie said to himself, knuckles hitting the countertop. He ate his breakfast in silence, ringed fingers gently scratching the black fur behind the cat's ears. He wondered if you liked cats, if you'd like to have one in the future.

____

Eddie turned the steering wheel, parking his van near the trees in the school's parking lot. He plucked out the keys from the ignition, stuffing them in his jeans pockets and turning around to grab his backpack.

The driver's door swung open abruptly, making Eddie almost tear his backpack in half with the way he involuntarily snatched it. He turned around quickly, strands of hair flying in his eyes with the motion.

"Hah yes, finally!" You exclaimed, a huge smile on your face and your chest rising and falling a bit too fast. As soon you caught sight of Eddie's van you'd made a run for it. "I arrived first." You told him with a smug tilt to your chin.

Eddie huffed out a breathy laugh, heart fluttering for you. "I swear you're both out to get me today."

You frowned, and Eddie waved a dismissive hand. "Morning sweetheart, you ready for today?"

Breathing in deeply, you raised a hand and pushed away the stray hairs that stuck to Eddie's eyelashes. You adored the way he always leaned into your touch, no matter how small. "I think so. Are you?"

"Nope, I am not," he mumbled, climbing out of his van and closing the door. He instinctively put an arm around your shoulders, his lips grazing your hairline in a faint kiss as he held the strap of his backpack over one shoulder. To the naked eye, you both could easily pass as a couple, everytime Eddie thought about it his skin filled with goosebumps. But even after these few months of being pretty much attached to each other, it wasn't true.

Eddie still couldn't put a name to what you two were, and it's not like he wasn't aching to make a bolder move, but every time he thought about it, a not-so-small voice at the back of his head would ask him; what if you're overstepping? What if you're reading it all wrong, and this one mistake takes everything away from you?

The fear of losing you was still winning. Yet it's not like you had made any moves either.

Despite Eddie wanting nothing more than to actually be able to call you his, he counted his lucky stars every night for the privilege of having you. No matter what road you chose with him, that was already more than enough.

You looked up at Eddie, squeezing your arm around his waist. "You're gonna pass Eds, I know you will."

"I hope so," Eddie said quietly, his fingers playing with the ends of your hair. You walked together towards the school doors, the first rays of sun were starting to peek through the clouds.

A group of boys was standing beside a parked BMW when you walked by, Eddie instantly felt their eyes on both of you. One of the boys sported a basketball team jacket, the others had sunglasses on top of their heads, button-up shirts opened halfway and cigarettes hanging from their fingertips. Not long ago, Eddie would've felt uncomfortable under their eyes; not so much for himself but more for you. Not today though, today he pulled you closer and straightened his posture, risking a glance at the group of boys with a fire in his eyes that was new even for him.

You didn't notice, not always anyway; how the other boys at school would look at you with hungry eyes after you passed them by, whispering nasty comments to themselves with wicked smiles. Eddie always noticed, it made him clench his fists so hard his knuckles turned white and his nails almost pierced his skin. In one way or another, he made it his life's mission to scare off every single one of the scumbags. You brought a protective side to Eddie, one he didn't even know he could have.

He opened the school's glass doors for you, extending his arm for you to enter, with the sole purpose of seeing you smile. It always worked.

"I'm headed to art class." You turned to him, hands holding onto the black straps of your backpack.

Eddie groaned, "lucky you, I have fucking algebra."

You giggled and pointed a finger at him, "as soon as you know the results,"

"I'll come running to you no matter what." Eddie finished the sentence for you with a sweet grin.

____

"So who are you going with?" Chrissy asked you, walking out of literature class side by side with you.

"Uh- I'm not sure yet, I think I have someone but, we haven't talked about it yet." You gave her a tight-lipped smile, both of you had just gotten the results that you were graduating; and you were over the moon about it, however now, the whole prom night thing became a real issue.

You were expecting, wanting to, go with Eddie. But he wasn't the biggest fan of formals and you'd never force him to.

"You two are adorable, you know," Chrissy told you as she stopped by her locker, opened it, and grabbed a pastel pink textbook. "An unusual pair but, adorable."

Leaning against the metal door beside hers, you faked cluelessness, heat already crawling up behind your neck and to your cheeks. "'you two' who?"

Your blonde friend raised an eyebrow, closed her locker with a click, and pointed a gentle finger over your shoulder; "you and Mr unhinged over there."

"It's painfully obvious," Chrissy whispered closer to your ear and then walked away with a teasing wink, leaving you to turn around and see what she was talking about.

Eddie was racing from the end of the hallway and towards you, running as fast as his legs would carry him; his hair flowing wildly and his backpack bouncing on his back. He clutched a white paper in his hands, and as he got closer you saw his huge smile.

"I passed! I passed!" He came to an abrupt stop in front of you, voice breathless and some octaves higher from excitement.

Your mouth hung open in awe and happiness, you started jumping on the pads of your feet. "You passed, oh my god." You reached out to him, already sharing his excitement. "Eddie you're graduating."

"I'm graduating!" He took your hands in his and jumped with you. Both of you bounced on your feet, laughing and smiling and creating what was probably a comical scene for the passing students, but you couldn't care less. Eddie then pulled you forward and encircled his arms around your waist, lifting you up and off the ground. He hugged you close and twirled you around, his eyes closed with a distant sting of happy tears.

"I can't believe man, finally."

"I'm so happy for you Eds," you mumbled against his hair, clutching his shoulders.

He lowered you to the ground slowly, pulling away only to be able to look at you. "I owe most of it to you. Did you pass?"

You smiled so brightly it hurt. "Yeah, yeah I did."

Eddie's cheeks were flushed pink, from running and from the wave of feelings twirling in his stomach; his eyes glistened under the school's cheap lighting, half closed because of his smile. "We're graduating, princess," he whispered as if still trying to convince his mind about it.

With a soft nod, you held onto one of his hands. "We are."

Eddie ran his free hand through his messy curls. "I can't wait to tell Wayne about it, he's gonna be pumped."

"He'll be proud of you, Eddie. I am too," you told him, your thumb drawing loose patterns on his hand.

Eddie averted his gaze from yours, his smile fading ever so slightly with furrowed brows. He had been stressing about asking you to prom for more than a week now, but this was a chance he wouldn't get back if he let slide. So Eddie opened his mouth with all the courage he had left, but someone beat him to it;

"Y/N, hey!"

Both of you turned your heads towards the new voice.

Bryan waved at you, team jacket in his hand as he walked closer.

The boy gave Eddie a quick look before settling his eyes on you. "Can I steal you for a bit?"

"I uh-" you shifted your gaze between Eddie and Bryan. "Yeah, sure. Just a second." Directing the last bit of your sentence to Eddie, you allowed Bryan to pull you a few meters away from him.

Eddie leaned against the orange and green stripes on the wall, not able to tear his eyes away from you. The frown he initially had as soon as the basketball player snatched you from him was slowly dissipating. He watched as you spoke, a small smile on your face as you nodded to whatever the boy was saying. Eddie fidgeted with his own hands, in moments like these, he was reminded of the massive gap that still separated your world from his.

Five minutes passed and you were finally walking back to Eddie.

You stopped in front of him and he reached out to tug at the ends of your backpack strap, a shy attempt at not letting you leave again.

"Do I need to scare him off?"

You playfully glared at Eddie, raising your hand and resting it on his forearm. "Stop it, Eddie, he's actually a good guy."

Eddie hummed. "You don't see what I see, sweetheart."

"Oh Mr. Know it all," you chuckled, "maybe I do."

Eddie raised an eyebrow for you to continue.

"He asked if I wanted to go to prom with him."

The words made Eddie's mouth go dry, his gaze shifted away from yours. "And um-what did you say?" He tried to sound nonchalant; wasn't very successful.

"No."

His head snapped up at your words, face scrunched with a frown. "No?" That Bryan guy wasn't bad looking, he was popular and was on the basketball team. Honestly, it would make perfect sense for you to go with him. Eddie had pretty much tossed any hope he had out the window, but now, you said no?

You shook your head softly, a timid smile playing on your lips. "No. He's not the person I wanna go with."

As you looked up at Eddie, slowly, pupils blown wide and lips partially open in a silent question; Eddie felt it, he felt the shift in the air. A small step towards the direction that, until now, you were both too scared to openly dive into.

He took the leap with you, heart raging against his ribcage. Eddie took your hand in the familiar gesture that belonged to both of you, fingers lazily hooked around yours. "Would you- would you give me the honor of going to prom with me then?"

His voice was adorably shy, so quiet that you wouldn't have heard had you not been standing so close. You squeezed his hand, chest growing impossibly warmer. "There's no one else I'd rather go with."

A beat passed as your words caught up with him. With a boyish grin, Eddie raised your joined hands to his lips, kissing your knuckles softly.

Eddie is the best part of your day too.

____

"Stop looking at me like that," Eddie grumbled, he stood in front of his mirror, hands fidgeting with the tie around his neck. He glared at the black cat who sat comfortably on his bed, sure that the little animal was judging his poor attempt at straightening his tie.

Eddie wore a full black suit, he borrowed it from his uncle and it was slightly too big on his lanky frame, but it worked. The shirt underneath had the top button open, otherwise, he felt as if it was strangling him. His hair was still damp and the only thing left was to properly adjust his tie.

The low sound of a random Metallica album played in the background, Eddie stood out like a sore thumb inside his own room. He wasn't completely opposed to it though. It felt weird when he first saw himself in the mirror, but the fancy look was slowly growing on him.

Nerves and anticipation crawled under his skin, Eddie was finally going to his prom night, and with you as his plus one. Something only a few months ago he wouldn't even dare to dream about.

Eddie grinned once he managed to adjust his tie. He turned to the black cat on his bed, opening his arms. "How do I look?" He pursed his lips, tugging at the ends of his blazer. The cat purred softly, his green eyes lazily watching Eddie.

"Yeah I look weird, they're gonna fucking laugh at me." Eddie bit the inside of his cheek. He reached out for his guitar to take it away from the mirror, letting it rest on his bed so he could have a better view of himself.

In a few minutes, he would be arriving at your doorstep to pick you up, and in a few more minutes you would both be walking through the gymnasium doors.

"No, it's fine, she deserves it," he decided.

Eddie dried his palms on his pants, reaching over to run his fingers through the cat's fur. "You don't mess up my room while I'm gone."

In his kitchen, Eddie grabbed the flowers that rested in a cup of water, giving them some gentle shakes for the droplets to fall.

The drive to your house took about fifteen minutes. As Eddie parked his van in front of your house, it felt like it took both five minutes and one hour to get here.

Crickets were singing in the early night, and the sky was clear of clouds, making room for thousands of stars. Eddie walked up to your front door, his hands tightly clutching the makeshift bouquet. He had handpicked the wildflowers, choosing different colors he hoped you'd like. He took a deep breath to ease his nerves before knocking.

Hopper opened the door for him, he wasn't surprised to see Eddie on the other side. He'd lost count of how many times they had been in this exact position before.

The door opened widely with Hopper motioning for him to walk inside. As always, Eddie stepped into your cozy home with his head hung low, mumbling an "excuse me" as he walked past the chief of police. He knew he wasn't the chief's favorite person, he'd never push his luck.

"She's upstairs," Hopper informed him, he had a frown on his lips. Watching the boy clutching the small flowers with both his hands, his grip wavering, and eyes fixed to the ground.

The older man sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. For weeks now, he'd figured his assumptions were very much wrong. He put a hand on Eddie's shoulder before he could walk up the stairs.

Eddie stopped abruptly, although Hopper's hold wasn't harsh.

"For the record, I think you're a good kid, alright?" His eyes diverted to the random commercial playing on the TV before settling back on Eddie, he squeezed his shoulder. "But I will hunt you down if you don't treat her right."

Eddie smiled softly, giddy for having your father's approval. "I wouldn't dream of it." His words were laced with sincere confidence.

Eddie skipped up the stairs, brown curls framing his smile. He closed his eyes for a brief moment before gently pushing open your bedroom door. You stood in front of your dressing table, with your back to him, but the mere sight of you already took his breath away. Your dress was dark colored, matching his suit perfectly, it hugged your body just right; your hair was loose, manicured hands putting on an earring and as Eddie caught a glimpse of your smile through the mirror he almost dropped his flowers. He was whipped.

"Look at you," you said lowly, turning towards him with a smirk. "Eddie Munson in a suit, there's a sight I didn't know I needed." You raised a perfectly styled eyebrow, your heart doing somersaults in your chest because Eddie was handsome. The black suit was perfect for him, in a way only he could pull off. Tie slightly loose around his neck and sleeves partly rolled up. It was so Eddie and so charming.

The bold words brought a grin to Eddie's lips, he allowed his gaze to travel up and down your body; engraving the image of you in his mind. "Only what my girl deserves." He dared say, timidly extending the flowers to you.

"I picked them, reminded me of you."

Your fingers grazed his as you reached for the small bouquet, you held it as if it was your most prized possession, heart swelling at the gesture. "Eddie, you didn't have to." Bringing the flowers to your nose to feel the perfume, you added; "but I love them."

Eddie averted his gaze, his thumb fumbling with the ring on his finger. He took a step closer to you and raised a hand to ghost over yours. "You look beautiful."

Eddie had always been a charmer. There was something different about tonight though. After placing the flowers in a cup of water, you bid goodbye to Eleven and your father and walked with Eddie to his van. His hand rested on the small of your back all the way, he opened your door for you to get in.

Driving to school didn't take long, time always seems to fly when you're with someone you love. When you arrived, a few cars were parked in the school's parking lot. The commotion inside the gymnasium could be noted from afar, with colorful lights shining through the big doors and faint music reaching your ears.

You stepped out of his van and into the cold night. Eddie made his way to your side and you reached out a hand to take his, being able to easily feel his nerves on his touch. Turning to him, you gently pushed him back into the now-closed passenger door of his van, his lower back resting against the metal.

He looked down at you with a frown but wasn't opposed to the idea of your actions. You rolled your eyes at his tiny smirk.

Looping your fingers through the belt loops of his pants, you focused your gaze on him. His doe eyes were nothing but black orbs under the dark sky. "Talk to me Eddie, what's on your mind?" You tilted your head to the side, voice gentle.

Eddie breathed out slowly, ducking his head, his forehead almost touching yours. "This still feels unreal, and I feel like I'm gonna be the joke of the night."

"It does feel kind of unreal, doesn't it?" You mimicked the crease of his eyebrows, raising your hands to the side of his head and threading your fingers through his soft hair, whilst he naturally reached for your hips. "How lucky am I to be going to prom with the Eddie Munson? Hellfire's Dungeon Master, best guitar player in all of Hawkins."

Your over-exaggerated tone made Eddie laugh, a deep chuckle that made you shiver under his hold.

"Don't forget The School's Freak." He reminded.

You hummed, squinting your eyes with a smile. "That's still a debatable title."

After a few more shared laughs, both of you leaning against his beat-up van with nothing but the stars as company; your smile faded slightly, lips pursing in a more serious manner. "You don't need to worry about them. We don't need to worry. I mean it when I say that I'm lucky to have met you."

You averted your gaze, smoothing out the ends of the collar on Eddie's shirt. His eyes were heavy on you. "Some of those people, they're just empty shells," you didn't have to specify for Eddie to know who you were talking about, "and you're not, you're… like a breath of fresh air, honestly."

Eddie chuckled under his breath, bashful eyes studying the way you held onto him and feeling his cheeks impossibly warmer. "What did I do to deserve you?"

A timid smile came to you and as you felt Eddie's fingertips gently grazing your cheek, you glanced up. He was close, so close his nose almost touched yours, his hand around your waist pulled you in.

With just a tilt of your head, you could…

Out of nowhere the music coming from the gym got louder, the new song starting with a bang that made you jump, your heart now following the quick beats as you realized just what you were about to do.

You felt Eddie's soft exhale on your lips. Forcing yourself away from him, you grasped onto his hand and pulled him to the party; your face burning hot.

Naturally, a few students shot curious glances in your direction as you walked inside the gym side by side with Eddie. Neither of you cared though, focusing solemnly on each other. The place was beautifully decorated, with colorful and fairy lights hanging from the ceiling, music blasting from the speakers as many students danced around; there were a few tables offering snacks and drinks and a makeshift stage in the middle for the speeches.

You had your arm around Eddie's, his free hand mindlessly playing with your fingers.

Chrissy caught sight of you rather quickly, excitedly waving her hand in the air and calling you over. She stood with Jason by her side, who didn't look too happy to see you. Allison and Bryan were there too, it looked like they came together; you'd never tell her she was sort of his second option. You both stood with them for a while, talking and laughing and sharing a few plans for the future.

Eddie made a point to serve you drinks while whining about the nonalcoholic beverage. He also didn't let go of you the whole night, sometimes his hand laid around your waist, or at the small of your back; sometimes his fingers hooked with yours or he had an arm around your shoulders. It felt right.

Later into the night, you found the other boys from Hellfire Club, their smiles contagious when they saw you. Gareth eagerly complimented your looks, earning him a rather stern glance from Eddie. Dustin gushed excitedly about 'Eddie's new girlfriend' and how happy he was that he found someone, successfully rendering you speechless and Eddie a stuttering mess.

When a slow song finally came in, you dragged Eddie to the dance floor. Your hand loosely attached to his. He halfheartedly complained about it, smiling all the way.

You held onto his shoulders, feeling goosebumps with the way he held onto your waist. You swayed gently with him, not very mindful of following the song's rhythm, focusing more on the soft brown eyes staring down at you.

"What are your plans now that you're free of Hawkins High?" You asked quietly, playing with the ends of his hair.

Eddie hummed, his fingers tapping your spine. "I haven't really thought about it yet."

You chuckled, shifting your gaze up to the fairy lights hanging above you. If you squinted, they reminded you of stars. "Before thinking about college, I wanna go out. Explore, meet new faces, you know. Get away for a while."

Eddie felt his stomach dropping with your words, he involuntarily gripped you tighter to himself. "Leave town?"

"That's the plan, yeah."

He gulped down a sudden lump in his throat. Was it too foolish of him to think you'd stick by him after school was over? Maybe, he had hoped anyway. Eddie could only nod, not thinking much before pulling you to him in somewhat of an embrace. His arm closed further around you, his nose now resting on your shoulder.

What he thought was a potential goodbye, was nothing but a sweet gesture for you. You pulled him in as well, one hand around his shoulders and the other going up to bury itself into his hair.

After a few minutes of you slowly swaying to the song, with nothing but Eddie's shaky breath on your neck, you noticed the change in his mood. The many other students around you seemed to become a faded blur. "Eddie?"

He pressed his cheek onto your head, closing his unfocused eyes at the smell of your shampoo. "Just… Promise you'll be back? That you won't forget me?" His words were nothing but a quiet plea thrown out in the dark.

You pulled away from him, and Eddie's heart almost broke then and there. Your eyes were shining under the colorful lights, feeling the warmth of his body pressed to yours. "Eddie, remember what I told you when you first came to my house? Whenever I think about my future plans or… Anything, you're- you're always there with me. I want you there with me. If that's something you'd want too."

Oh. There you were again, showing him what it felt like to be cared for. To be loved.

His lungs didn't function properly, here, eyes fixated on you, dressed up for prom night, for him, and saying that you wanted him beside you; he forgot how to breathe. Eddie leaned forward, the strings of something that was months in the making finally pulling him in. "What are we?" He whispered the one question he hoped he knew the answer for.

Your eyes drifted down to his plump lips, your thumb tracing the outline of his jaw. "Whatever you'd like us to be."

Eddie couldn't hold himself back even if he tried, he leaned down, his lips finding yours. It had been long overdue, a love hidden beneath touches and stares and promises ever since the day in the library.

He kissed you with purpose, with a tight grip around you telling you everything he could never put into words. You cupped his cheeks, tilting your head to chase a closeness that would never be enough. Eddie's lips were soft; his kiss, even if passionate, had a clear gentleness.

You heard a whimper coming from him when you pulled away, his mouth chasing yours, noses bumping. The smile was instant, your lips brushing his in several more pecks until the air became an annoying necessity.

Opening your eyes halfway, you were greeted with the sight of Eddie with his lips partly opened; redder, a little swollen, courtesy of your touch and more kissable than before. His eyes were still closed, cheeks dusted pink and god- for a moment you thought you made him up, just for how entranced he made you feel now.

Eddie ran his tongue over his bottom lip, he opened his chocolate brown eyes slowly; his pupils were huge, glistening brightly. He leaned over, tender lips pressing against your forehead before he met your eyes again. "You had me hooked around your finger even before we met in the library, you know that, right sweetheart?"

A chuckle bubbled from your throat, you hid your face against his shoulder.

"I just wanna be with you, don't care where." He promised, lips grazing your hairline.

You bit your lip to contain the happiness, before teasing lowly; "took you long enough."

Even if you couldn't see him, you knew Eddie had his mouth hung open in his 'how dare you' way. "Oh come on, you're one to talk."

Both of you laughed, both of you knowing the timing couldn't be more perfect.

The slow song came to an end, giving room for another upbeat you didn't know the name of. Eddie kept his hold on you, and you didn't let go either. You felt his heartbeat against your own, the low thudding fitting perfectly with yours.

Eddie was the best part of your life.

⋆* ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ

A/N: I did always love to explore the kind of relationship where they're not yet lovers but aren't just friends either, simply adorable.

Anyway, for the main storyline in this miniseries, I'd say this is the final part. However, I plan on writing shorter additional stories for this little universe; for example, exploring some things that happened with them in this three-month time jump, and also now after, maybe a road trip together or something. Just some little additional glimpses into their relationship, let me know if there's something specific that you'd like to see (just please if you'll send an ask, specify that it's for the Moonstruck universe). It can even be something as small as "the first time they went to the movies together", I'd be happy to write it <3.

You can find the extra stories here.

Thank you for reading this story, feedback and reblogs are very much appreciated. <3

Eddie’s taglist: @milkiane @bookfrog242 @alicefallsintotherabbithole @marvelbrokeme @boooil @science–hoes @cherrypieyourface @tssf-imagines @daph-505 @astream-ofconsciousness @fentyreligion @fantasylovestoryme @justabeautiful-letdown @crazyrapunzel @yessica41 @dancing-hillary @bakugouswh0r3 @hehehehannahthings @jakebasement @zervopoulouu @forverdaydreamer-blog

@fromthedt @oeuryale @mcueveryday @palah @witchbinchstories @call-me-magpie @loveshineslikethesky @luvmybbies @tvserie-s-world @agirlsguidetolove @ribyourtoplip @sweetpeapod @harringt8ns @forsaken-letters @hazydespair @fangirling-4-ever @electric-cabaret @ollyoxenfrees @twinkofmydreams @paola-carter @masterlistmanic @boomhauer

[natsbaby]

You're such an idiot

Pairing: Scarlett Johansson x Fem!Reader

Summary: Y/N, a struggling actress, and Scarlett are co-stars in a movie directed by a mutual friend and you never realized how much your heart can beat for someone as much as you do with Scarlett. (IM SORRY IM BAD AT SUMMARIES)

Warnings: a LITTLE angsty, maybe if you squint, drinking of fake alcohol, maybe my bad writing ☠️

Word Count: ~1.9K I think

A/N: Scarlett's not an A-List actor here so think of this as around 2010 or pre MCU time! oh and If you know Drinking Buddies, this is inspired from that campfire scene <3 this is my first time writing in a really long time so I'm sorry if it's not that good but I hope you enjoy this lowkey angst w happy ending thing!

"Why am I so unlucky in life?" You let out a frustrated groan as you flop down on the little couch in your movie trailer, feeling the frustration rise the more you think about her.

You're a struggling and upcoming actor, trying to get by day-by-day with pilot episodes from television shows and short films here and there. You've hit a roadblock when your latest short film didn't push through due to the director's financial problems and had no choice but to cancel the project all together. After your director friend heard about this revelation during those "once in a blue moon" lunches, he pitched a movie that he plans to film with some lowkey actors and you thought it would be fun.

The movie is about a group of friends coming together for a wedding and they catch up the night before the wedding after not seeing each other in so long. You play as one of the best friends of the person getting married who has a major lowkey crush on her. By chance, this person is the one and only Scarlett Johansson who you just can't help but short circuit the moment you met her months prior. I mean, how can you not think about this gorgeous woman who you have grown to be really close with this past few months from pre production to filming.

You've honestly done so well with hiding your growing feelings for Scarlett until one day at one of the last table reads. You were reading through one of the more emotionally demanding scenes in the film where your character, Cathy, is sitting in front of a camp fire with Scarlett's character, Kelly, and professing your love for her. Apparently, she would feel the same way because Scarlett's character would kiss you at the end.

It's a really nice scene but also really bad for the weak of heart aka you. Now here you are, trying to calm your nerves knowing what's going to happen in the next scene.

"God if you can hear me, help me please. All I want is one day without my heart jumping out of my chest" You say up to your ceiling as you massage your temples in slow circles while continuing to try and calm your heart down a little longer.

You hear a knock on the door as the production assistant tells you that you have 5 minutes till the next scene. You thank her and say you're on the way as you get up from your spot. You walk to the door to open it, but stopped as it opens on its own revealing the familiar blonde you've grown to love these past months.

"Come on, let's get this show on the road" Scarlett says as she gives you that charming little smile that makes your heart flutter.

"Yea let's go" you say back with a nervous smile and head to set with her.

As you two arrive on set, both you and Scarlett cant help but feel at awe at how amazing of a job the set department did. The cabin the producers rented out for the scene has a beachfront that has a gorgeous view of the sea. The full moon is out with the stars scattered out, decorating the sky to match the beach. It's been decked out to look like a campfire party with some logs laid down as chairs around the camp fire, and honestly it looks unnecessarily more romantic than you expected.

You start to grow a lot a bit more nervous for the scene. It seems like Scarlett noticed because you suddenly feel her hand, softly holding your own and give it a gentle squeeze and a small smile of encouragement.

"It's gonna be alright, just another day at work right?" She comforts you with a smile. You smile back and reciprocated the hand squeeze and get to positions. You start to close your eyes and mentally get into the zone, quickly going through what you have to say.

What you didn't know is while doing that, Scarlett is watching you with a small smile on her face. She looks away however when you open your eyes and you both hear the director starting to get ready with the crew.

"Alright you two, we'll start filming the confession scene after I call action. Do you two need anything before we start?" The director inquires. You both shake your heads no, allowing the director to call action.

"I cant believe you're getting married tomorrow with your college boyfriend" you say as your character to Scarlett.

You're both sitting down side by side on the log bench in front of the campfire and holding a beer bottle each. Scarlett hums in agreement while watching the crackling of the burning wood in front of her with her head resting on the palm of her hand, her elbow resting on her thigh. You cant help but notice how gorgeous she looks with the orange-yellow hue reflecting on her face.

"It's weird honestly. I love Derek, but I can't help but feel the time fly by. It was like yesterday when we would just be staying in on a Friday night watching the horrible romcoms you love so much and now years later, we're here" she lets out a sigh as she turns her head to face you and gives you a sad smile. You pause for a moment, pretending to think for a bit.

"Maybe it is the nerves, but it's part of life you know. Everyone grows old eventually, even though you don't look like a day after 20. Seriously, what's your secret?" You laugh as Scarlett leans back from her position and laughs with you.

"Do you remember how in uni when we were roommates, you would always sneak out to meet Derek and I'd have to cover your ass while you two were still private about dating" you ask her and she rolls her eyes a little while smiling.

"Hey in my defense, Derek was the one that wanted to keep it private for some time before we tell other people" she pouts as you take a sip of your fake beer and putting it down on the sand.

"Yea but who decided it would be a great idea to go skinny dip at the school fountain as a dare from his frat buddies" you both laugh at the memory and you smile at her.

"What?" She looks at you curiously.

"Why did we ever grow apart after uni? We were so close before you know, until one day you just stopped replying to my messages. Thought I was going insane" you sadly reveal, making Scarlett stay quiet for some time thinking of what to say next.

"It wasn't my choice you know" she starts as she shifts in her seat, settling to sit down on the sand instead of the log and you follow her movements, sitting on the sand as well.

"I needed time away from everyone after Derek and I broke up in graduation. After spending a few months off the grid and exploring the world a little bit, I ended up meeting Derek in a small town outside London. I didn't plan on talking to him again, but he wanted to have some drinks with me. We ended up talking the entire night and eventually led to today." She explains as you listen to her. You cant help but feel for what's happening now and feel really sad.

"I wanted to text you, you know" You give Scarlett a sad smile.

"Really?" She asks softly.

"I really wanted to ask how you are, be there for you. I was worried that something had happen to you, but Anna told me that you, at the time, called her saying you're doing well and met with Derek. I thought I just wasted my already non-existing chance with you." You lean your head back to rest in the log so you can look up at the stars. As you get deeper into your character, you cant help but suddenly go out of script surprising everyone including Scarlett.

"Whenever you would hang out with him, I would feel like something isn't right. At first, I thought it was me being jealous because of your attention to him. We used to hang out a lot, remember? Movie nights on Fridays and breakfast on Sundays, but it all changed when you got together with him." You think back to the pre-production stage how you and Scarlett would hang out before table reads as a way of bonding as she'd love to put it.

The both of you would go to Scarlett's place and eat waffles before heading out, or would watch a trashy movie just to relax after a long day from work. It all stopped the moment she started dating Ryan Reynolds.

"I had an idea that we'd drift apart eventually because of life after university but, I didn't realize it would start a lot sooner." You turn your head a little to look at Scarlett who's looking at you with an expression you can't seem to read.

"Cathy-" she starts but you cut her off.

"I missed how we would drop everything the moment we went through the door to our room and be in our own little world. I don't blame you though, I can tell you're happy with Derek and I'm happy for you. You deserve all the happiness in the world, even if it means I'm not in it" your voice cracks a little at the end as you start to feel your emotions starting to rise and you look back up at the stars, praying you don't start crying.

"I thought I was going insane at what I'm feeling without realizing that the moment you left campus on graduation day would also be the last time I saw you, with my heart in your hands. I should have told you sooner about this, I know and I'm sorry. I should have done something because things might change, but here we are under this beautiful night sky the night before your wedding" you chuckle a little to yourself as you lift your head up for the first time, a tear rolling down your cheek. You wipe it away with the sleeve of the flannel you're wearing while looking down and away from Scarlett.

Scarlett starts to tear up as she starts to understand what's going on. After she started dating Ryan, you both stopped hanging out because she'd always go on dates with him. At first, you didn't mind, but you only realized you have feelings for her the less time you spent together. You bring your knees up to your chest as you look down at your hands over your knees, fiddling with your fingers before continuing.

"Derek is lucky to have you, he's lucky to have this woman in his life who is so selfless, witty, but also hardworking and so caring to everyone around her. I have a lot of regrets in my life but I only realized now that a lot of those regrets are with you. It's probably really selfish of me for telling you all this now, on the night before your wedding but I can't handle more regrets. I-" you get cut off from your thoughts with Scarlett muttering a soft "dammit" while reaching out to hold your cheek with her hand and turning your to the side with her finger as she kisses you.

You close your eyes as you suddenly feel fireworks rupture deep in your chest with your mind growing fuzzy as you kiss her back, feeling her tears rolling down her cheeks. The salty taste but warm feeling mingling into the kiss making you fall deeper in love with the woman in front of you. You feel Scarlett moving her hand from your cheek to the back of your neck to pull you closer, feeling her heart beat hard against yours in perfect symphony.

You pull back just enough to break the kiss but not so much that you couldn't rest your forehead against hers, the both of you panting a bit from the intensity of the kiss. You open your eyes to see her deep green eyes looking back at you.

"You're such an idiot" she says softly as she pulls back further, smiling at you with adoration and maybe even love as the director yells cut.

[nakedmossy]

Golden Hour ☼

A Triple Frontier Story - Part 1/?

Word Count: 3.1k

Summary: Molly [reader] has been living on the beaches of Mexico for the last 3 years since being honourably discharged from the army and leaving her fiance back in Texas. Riddled with PTSD, she went on a bender, ending up in a small coastal farming town in the Yucatan. Forced into early retirement despite being the best sniper in her company and all the trauma that came with that responsibility, she has worked hard to obtain peace in her new life. She was closer than ever to fully achieving it, that is, until her ex-crew member and lifelong friend, Will Miller, showed up with a proposition to bring her out of retirement for one last job with the boys. -----------------------------

The sun was hovering around the horizon, beating down on the beach as the water lapped the shore. You rolled the dirty cup around in the dishwater absentmindedly, scrubbing the dried coffee off the sides, letting your hands soak. It had been an easy day, a 5am rise for a morning surf, a bike ride to the market to pick up some fruit, and a mid day Dive to a wreck site with some tourists. All-in you had pocketed around $50, including tips, and a complimentary phone number from the bachelor who had tried to frisk you while you filled the tanks on the dock. It would get you enough food to last through to the weekend, and if it didn't, well, you could always call the bachelor tourist for dinner.

You were caught up in a daydream when you heard something rolling in through the bush, the sounds of the studded tires reverberating off of the rock and palm trees, the sand and jungle brush cracking and moving, the dull hum of the engine. You tipped your head closer to the window over the sink to see a slick black motorbike come to a stop near your hitch, a large muscular figure hooking his helmet on the handlebar before jumping off and walking towards your trailer door. Your hand hovered over the sidearm you kept loaded on your kitchen counter.

“Hey Sweet Cheeks” The voice shouted, the silhouette keeping its arms and hands visible.

Your stomach dropped. No way. The voice belonged to the boy who had pinched your ass as a kid, annoyed your ass as a teen, saved your ass as a new recruit in the army, and more than once grabbed your ass at the bar while you squeezed your ass into a tight dress. You froze for a moment before you looked out your window and saw him standing at your trailer door, waiting.

You opened it abruptly, swinging it hard enough that it hit the side of the trailer with a loud clank. You kept your arm out to keep it wide, surveying the sight in front of you with a shocked expression, your chest rising and falling in shallow, tight breaths of disbelief. He did the same, his eyes travelling up from your bare feet, along your tanned legs, to your jean shorts and your braless tank top, all the way to your shaded eyes.

“Will Miller” You spoke, his name like a muscle memory in your mouth. “What the fuck are you doing here.”

You took three long seconds before you smiled, then you practically jumped out of your trailer and into his arms, your legs wrapping around his waist, laughing uncontrollably in surprise and excitement. He squeezed you tight, one hand around your hips, the other on the back of your head, compressing you into his muscular frame. He let out a low growl of contentment while he nuzzled his head into your hair.

“Good to see you Molly” He mumbled.

You squeezed him with as much strength as you could muster before he let you slide down, your feet hitting the sand below. You brought a hand up to shade your eyes, the sun beaming directly in your eyes from behind his shoulder. You knew his face like the back of your hand, you had grown up with it chasing after you with spiders and nerf guns, then spent 10 years in active service being chased by cockroaches and real guns. You hadn’t seen him since you moved to Mexico.

“What are you doing here, man!” You laughed, you couldn’t stop smiling. He hadn’t changed at all, aside from a few new laugh lines around his mouth. His smile was reserved as usual, but unabashed.

“Oh, you know….I was in the area” He winked and looked around, snickering. Your end of the beach was cut off to tourists and hardly even accessible to locals. You weren’t even sure how they got a trailer there in the first place. It was as visibly remote as you could get in the Yucatan these days.

“How did you…find me here?” You watched him watching you closely, like he was looking for something.

“A local kid working at the market. I asked for directions to the little local Turkey with yellow hair and he practically drove me here himself.” He grinned with mischief and dodged my hand as I smacked him. “He seemed to know who I was, too.” He looked at you expectantly, which made you giggle to yourself.

Your friends son, Erik, was one of the few kids who spoke clean English and visited often. You had helped him with his math tests last year and he had agreed to cut you firewood for a year. He had seen the picture of you and your crew in your trailer and demanded stories around the fire every time he came by. He asked about Will the most.

“I can’t believe you’re here right now.” You said, stricken with shock again and unable to gather yourself. “Whats it been…2, 3 years?”

“2 years and 5 months” Will said quietly, smiling at you. “You look younger somehow”

“Yeah, well, that’s the tequila and the saltwater for ya. Stick me back in Iraq and strap a rifle on my chest, ill age 10 years in front of your very eyes”

Will nodded with a knowing smile and looked around, checking out your decaying trailer and old truck, his eyes settling on the boat overturned on the beach, which you were in the midst of patching and doing engine maintenance on.

You shared a quiet moment together, taking each other in, before he smiled again and open his arms for another hug. “Come’ere kid”

He squeezed you again and this time found your butt, pinching it.

“Fucki-OUCH” You wailed, pulling away and smacking his chest. He laughed like a little boy and bounced away a step, stretching his arms and sighing, relaxed.

“So,” You said after a few moments of silence, before stepping back and pacing in a half circle once. “You want a drink?”

He smiled at you and you felt your head spin. It was the same familiar smile he used to give you when you were kids and you couldn’t reach something or you needed his help lifting something. Not patronizing, just…pleasantly amused.

“Yeah, a drink would be nice.”

“Grab a chair, i’ll be right back” You motioned to the seats surrounding the fire pit that was on the edge of the sand. He turned and walked towards them and you felt your chest tighten. You could never calm down when he was around, staring at you, his physical presence was overwhelming. Even still, after all this time. After everything that had happened in the war, your breath caught when he smiled.

When you came back out with two glasses of bourbon, neat, he had his feet perched toe to heel and was leaning back, enjoying the view of the ocean.

“Pretty okay view to wake up to” You said, handing him his drink. You saluted each others glasses and he smiled, looking back out at the water.

“Unreal. I wouldn’t leave.”

“I don’t” You winked.

“So how did you end up here anyways” He took a drink and savoured it, balancing the glass on the armrest.

You took a long, deep breath and leaned back in your chair before exhaling quickly and looking around.

“I came down after Pete and I.…after I left. He took the house, I took…my shit, and I split.” You laughed bitterly, rubbing your eyebrow. “I don’t know. I went rogue for a bit and woke up here one morning after a bender, just never left.”

Will was quiet for a few moments, considering what you said, before speaking.

“Did things end badly - with Pete?” He was watching you intently.

You held his gaze boldly, amidst your discomfort regarding the topic, your face a blank canvas.

“No” You lied, forcing a smile.

His eyes narrowed slightly but he looked back at the water and took another drink.

“What’re you doing to make money?”

“Lots. Pole dancing, escorting. Selling drugs.”

You were mostly kidding about the last part, but you had sold a couple bags of weed to some of the local teenagers after you found out they were buying it from the cartel - trying to keep their names out of the streets as long as you could before they inevitably got recruited.

He was looking at you again, his face dark now, a shadow of the light hearted kid you had gone to prom with.

“Seriously, Mol. What are you doing down here.”

“Getting interrogated apparently. Calm down, Ironhead. Nothing illegal.” But when he didn’t budge you continued “Im a Dive Master, I take tourists out to some of the reefs every couple of days to pay the rent, and I help out at some of the farms on the off season.”

Half satisfied by your half answers he swirled his drink and took a sip.

“Enough about me, care to explain what you’re doing down here? Turning up at sundown like an old friend?” You watched him closely, observing his posture, noticing the hilt of his sidearm poking out the side of his t-shirt.

“Working” He said bluntly, returning your snarky smile with an equally shaded answer. “Recruiting.”

Your breath caught in your throat and you sat deeper in your chair, unbelieving how crassly he was owning up.

“Unbelievable. Just right down to business eh? You turn up here after 2 years, sorry, 2 years and 5 months and you don’t have the courtesy to wait 10 minutes before you pull this shit? No.” You said firmly. “No. Im retired."

He nodded, then leaned forward and downed the rest of his drink, placing the glass at his feet and resting his elbows on his knees. He watched you with such an intensity that you shifted in your seat and looked away.

“Mol, look at me.”

You sneered and looked at him, your hat shading your eyes from the setting sun, but barely.

“Its a 2 day job at most. 1 day and a single shot if we’re clean-”

“No” You cut him off, leaning forward to stand up.

“Its 5 million USD” He said quickly, stopping you from walking away. “Each.”

You took a deep breath and waited, considering sitting back down. You stayed standing. You tilted your head to the side and lifted your hand to your mouth.

“Who” You said quietly, not wanting to give him the impression you were seriously considering it.

“Juarez.”

You choked you had laughed so hard and so quick. You sat down abruptly on the edge of your chair, looking at him like he had two heads.

“No way. Not a chance. Are you kidding?”

He said nothing, just watched you and raised his eyebrows, the words ‘5 million’ written across his forehead like a banner. When it was clear he wasn’t joking you leaned forward, matching his posture, ducking your head down until you had his eyes squared with yours.

“Listen to me. There’s dangerous, there’s what we did in the army, and then there’s that.” You waited for a reaction that never came. You pressed on. “Will, I have been down here for 3 years. Living, working, fucking with these people. Juarez isn’t just a cartel boss who cuts fingers off and mails them to the victims kids on their birthdays. He systematically brings down monarchies. He beheads children. That man is a fucking monster.”

Will sat firm, his jaw set, not breaking eye contact. He was challenging you, as he had a million times before, only this time neither of you were in uniform and both of you had level playing ground. He wasn’t your superior officer, and you weren’t his sniper.

“We’ve dealt with worse.” He said finally.

You broke eye contact and looked at your bare feet planted in the sand, your tanned skin smooth and warm. No scars, no combat boots, no dust. Freedom. What you had worked for your whole life.

“Its 5 million, Mol. One target, one shot. Nothing more. Freedom for the rest of your life.”

“I already have that. Look around” You put your arms out, the whole of the beach and your paradise encapsulated in them, rage tickling under your skin. “5 million aint worth giving this up, 5 billion wouldn’t even be.”

He looked around and back at your trailer, at the rusting metal and the fraying tarps, before setting his gaze on your arm, on the scar that ran up it, and finally back to your eyes.

“Hows the Physio down here.” He said darkly. “Your off season farm job’s health insurance covering it?”

You flinched like he had hit you, your eye flickering as the memory of the bullet cutting through your arm and shattering the bone blazed like fire in your peripheries.

“Fuck you, Will.” You said finally, your voice cracking when you said his name. You stood up and pushed past him, walking towards your trailer. Subconsciously you held your arm and rubbed it, the phantom pain lingering. The deep and permanent damage had bothered you every day since you obtained the injury 6 years ago, on one of the last missions you had done with Will and the crew before they retired.

“Molly” Will grabbed your arm from behind, pulling you to a stop, and you winced. Not from pain, more from recognition. “Im sorry” He said intently, his eyes searching yours.

“I can’t” You said finally, your posture strong and your eyes set. You were still muscular and built like you were in active duty, but so was Will. “Even if I wanted to - I can’t.”

Will took a step closer, his breath almost on your face now.

“Why not” He pushed.

“Because” You spit back at him “I can’t use a scope. Or Binoculars. My heads fucked up.”

Wills eyebrows knit together and he looked over your head with his gaze, face taught with confusion.

“What’you mean?”

You shrugged and licked your bottom lip, looking away from his prying eyes.

“I had an accident a few years ago. I got a concussion that fucked with my equilibrium, haven’t been able to use binoculars or a scope properly since.”

You took a breath and straightened your back, setting your jaw. If he was going to play hard ass, then so were you. Fuck his intimidation tactics, you had learned how to deal with those in elementary school. He would have to try harder.

“Service?”

You shook your head, your lips pursed.

“After I left”

“What happened?”

Your eye flickered again, the memory of Pete attacking you and knocking you down a flight of stairs, your head cracking off the banister, still as fresh as if it happened yesterday.

“I fell.”

Will, visibly agitated now, shifted his weight to his other foot. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I don’t know, probably because I didn’t expect you to come down here and try to recruit me to whack the leader of my neighbourhoods biggest cartel?”

“Mol, im your friend, you shou-“ He started, but you backed up, shaking your head.

“Oh yeah? And where have you been? Last time I checked a prerequisite for friendship was checking in once in a fucking blue moon.”

Will bared his teeth in frustration and took a deep breath, looking down at his feet with his hands on his hips.

“Was it Pete?”

You didn’t answer, which was answer enough. Will’s hands covered his face and he groaned audibly, rubbing them into his hair in frustration.

“Molly. I have like 5 minutes left in me before I pull the fuse line to your propane, light a match, and drag your ass out of here on the back of my fucking bike. Come for drinks. Hear us out. Please.”

“Us?”

“They’re all here, waiting at the bar.”

You shook your head, smiling bitterly. Of course they were.

“There are better soldiers out there. Better snipers out there. Go recruit one of them.”

“Not true. You never missed a shot.”

“I missed once” You started, your voice lowering reflexively. “And you know what shot I missed.”

He held your eyes as the memory lingered in the air between you, the sound of the bullet hitting the body of the child behind your target would be something you took to your grave. It haunted every minute of every day.

“Molly, come on. Look at you. You’re living in a dump trailer with a half broke boat and a fucking peddle bike. You’re better than this and you know it.”

“Im not better than shit. Don't feed me that 'we were warriors' crap. I was a girl who was good with a gun, and I killed people. And now i'm broken. Thats the truth."

“MOL, I NEED YOU-” He yelled now, his hand shaking. The outburst took you off guard and you stepped back, your face slack. Will grabbed his hand and rubbed it, turning around and sighing deeply before facing you again. “Molly, I need you to hear us out. Come have a drink in town, listen to Pope’s plan. Please.”

You were still on guard from his outburst but you closed your mouth, your eyes dropping to his hand, which still shook lightly. PTSD was a tricky motherfucker.

You blinked silently a few times before raising your eyes to his again, a silent moment of recognition passing between you. He wouldn’t be here if he wasn’t seriously asking for help, and the rest of the crew wouldn’t be waiting if there wasn’t already a good plan in place.

“They’re all here? Redfly?”

Will nodded, his jaw tight.

“Fine” You said then, swallowing your pride and knowing you would regret it. “One drink.”

“One drink” Will repeated, his shoulders relaxing slightly.

“But Will,” You interrupted his budding smile and took a step so your faces were close again. “I wasn’t joking. Im not the shot I used to be. If we do the Recon and I tell you I can’t do it, that’s it. Im out. Full stop.”

Will blinked a few times as his eyes drifted down your face to your mouth and back up, his eyebrow twitching.

“I understand, Mol” was all he replied.

----

[chris-evans-indian-fanfic]

Longing

Chapter 1

Description: Chris Evans becomes obsessed with you when he realises he can't have you. Eager to be with you in some form or the other, he starts writing fanfiction, where both of you are passionately in love with each other. But what happens when his imagination starts to merge with his reality in his subconsciousness?

Warnings: This entire mini-series will contain smut, bad language and angst. ONLY PROCEED IF YOU ARE 18+

This first chapter is inspired by the GIF below from @navybrat817 and @stargazingfangirl18 's ShamelessHoesForChris writing challenge. Click here to know more

A/N: I do not know Chris Evans personally. This fic is a work of imagination and should only be used as such. It doesn't comment on Chris or anybody else personally. It is also not meant to destroy his reputation or paint him in a bad light. I admire the guy and he really seems like a genuinely nice person. Again, I repeat, THIS IS A WORK OF FICTION SO TREAT IT AS SUCH!

A/N 2: I did search quite a lot on the internet and didn't come across a fic like this. Which makes me nervous and also kind of excited that I get to do something unique? Please please give me your criticism and feedback on this! Would love to hear your thoughts.

A/N 3: I have used a few big words throughout the series because this fic is from Chris' POV and we all know that he's a bit of a wordsmith 😅 I had never even heard these words before in my life. So please let me know if I have used them in an incorrect manner. 

My Main Masterlist

I don’t consent to have any of my work published or featured on any third party app, website or translated. If you are seeing this fanfiction anywhere but Tumblr and AO3, it has been reposted without my permission. In that case, please do share the link and let me know.

…

The best thing about shooting Defending Jacob? Chris got to stay in his house in Boston. The worst part about working on the set? He was currently stuck in a room engulfed in hot, angry flames of fire. The fire had abruptly started due to a short circuit and spread across the set in the blink of an eye. Coughing, Chris doubled down on the floor, his breathing becoming more laboured with each second. 

The smoke stung his eyes as he looked around for a fire extinguisher. He tried calling for help, but only small grunts managed to escape his lips. Just as he was on the verge of losing consciousness, he heard a voice. Your voice.

"Is anyone here?" you called out, your voice faint in his ears. "Hello?" 

Chris tried to shout again, but only sank further towards the floor.

Luckily, you opened the door of his room and found his almost crumpled body on the ground. Using the fire extinguisher, you managed to douse as many flames as you could, while also covering Chris with a thick blanket. As the room was still filled with smoke, you pressed a wet towel on his face, asking him to breathe through his nose. 

Slowly, you managed to drag him out of the room and into the corridor, the fire reduced to embers in most places thanks to your fire extinguisher. Chris being a heavy man, you tried your best to support his weight as much as you could, your body almost stooping to form a right angle.

Just as you thought you might be in the clear, you heard a crack from above. Looking up, you realised that the ceiling was about to cave in and so, on impulse, you pushed Chris out of the way, as portions of the false ceiling fell on you, knocking you unconscious. 

Chris, in his state, vaguely realised what happened, before he lost his balance and fell to the ground a few feet away from you, his left arm stretched towards your limp body, as if reaching out.

Sirens of the firetruck and the ambulance filled the heavy air. A deep groan escaped his lips as he attempted to crawl towards you, a failed effort. Where did it all go so wrong? he thought. I was supposed to be the one to save you angel! You should be falling in love with me!! And break-up with your good for nothing fiancé! 

Overwhelmed with emotions, Chris started drifting off to sleep, your name leaving his lips in the form of a desperate whisper.

🔥

8 MONTHS AGO

Chris met you for the first time at the table read for Defending Jacob. You didn't strike him as anyone special. Being the Junior Assistant Scriptwriter for the series, you were just in the room as a formality. It was your job to jot down the minutes of the meeting, and have the parts of the script marked which were supposed to be changed slightly. 

You managed to stay invisible for more such meetings. An introvert by nature, you kept to yourself even when the shooting started. 

It was in the Week 4 of the shooting when Chris actually started to notice you. He realised you were always absent from his house parties, never stayed around on the set for after-work shenanigans and, you never hung out with any of your crew-mates for a drink.

What really drove his attention towards you were your random acts of kindness. He once saw you feeding a homeless man in the alley behind the set. Unknown to you, it was where Chris often hid from his cast and crew to smoke. 

Then there was the bit with setting up of a mobile blood donation camp on the set, which was completely your idea. He had also seen you distribute fliers for animal adoption centres and NGOs who fought for climate preservation.

You always made sure everyone on the set ate before you did, and the ones who couldn't due to work, you were sure to help them and share their load so they could have lunch.

But one particular incident made him see that you were no ordinary woman. 

It was a particularly tough day on the set. They were shooting the 35-second sex scene between him and Michelle. While these scenes looked easy on the screen, they always made Chris feel uneasy about himself. "What if my body is not upto the mark?" , "I don't want to hurt Michelle in any way" , "God I hope I don't touch her inappropriately by mistake" and more such troubling thoughts clawed at his mind. After the scene finally ended, he felt the lustful eyes of the crew feasting on him, admiring his body on display. 

He hurried towards his van, avoiding to look at anyone, until his eyes met yours for a total of 5 seconds. He expected to see the same smirk to be reflected in your eyes as everyone else's. Instead, he saw a completely different emotion. He saw sadness, sympathy, and most importantly, recognition of his discomfort etched on your face.

After that, Chris started to keep a close eye on you. You always wore comfortable clothes, with loads of pockets. Yet somehow, they always fit you well. He also noticed that you always got your own lunch, refusing to eat the food available on the set. 

A few days after filming the sex scene, he decided to try to speak with you. Palms sweaty, he headed towards you and gently said your name. 

"Hi," he said, and stopped. 

"Hello Mr Evans," you greeted him back, a little surprised that he knew your name. 

He continued to look at you, bright cerulean eyes bearing into yours, apparently lost. You blinked twice, unfazed, and a little uncomfortable, "Can I help you sir?"

Chris shook his head slightly. He was so used to women fawning all over him, that your utter lack of excitement on seeing him deterred him a bit. 

He cleared his throat, a little flustered, *Ahem yeah… I wanted to ask… something… karaoke!" he managed to mumble, "It's karaoke night at my house. Tomorrow. Will you come? At night?"

"Umm… No Mr Evans. I am sorry I will not be able to make it," you politely declined while taking a small step back.

"Oh. Uhh… well we can have it any other night if you want," he cleared his throat again, sweat starting to gather on his forehead as he noticed your movement, "You never visit any of my house-parties."

You smiled a bit, "I like to go home early. I want to spend as much time as I can with my fiancé and my cat."

Chris raised his eyebrows at that revelation, "Fiancé? I… I don't see a ring."

"That's because there isn't one," your smile widened as you pulled the chain around your neck and revealed a locket. It was an intricately carved sunflower locket, with small, delicate curls nestled inside the petals. 

Chris glanced at it with disdain. It looked hand-made, cheap, "Is that… is it made from clay?"

"Yes Mr Evans," you beamed at the locket, admiring it with love and pride, "My fiancé is a potter and he made this himself. It took him over 6 hours just to carve all the petals. But he still made it because he knows how much I love sunflowers."

"So he's too poor to give you an appropriate ring?" Chris snapped at you. 

Offended, you looked at him in shock and anger as he continued. "You deserve someone who can afford to give you an expensive engagement ring. Not some cheap craft project."

You grit your teeth at his comment, "Unlike some people, I don't look at the price of the gifts, I look at their value. While this," you held the locket in front of his eyes, "is worthless for you, it is priceless for me."

You placed the locket back inside your shirt and walked away. Chris stood rooted at the spot, biting his cheek hollow. He hadn't meant to drive you away. He had just wanted you to see him as a prospective partner. 

As he turned towards his trailer, an idea popped into his head.

🔥

Next Friday saw you and your fiancé walk into the bowling alley. The production house had organised a "Bring Your Partner to Work Day" and you both were excited to step out of your routine lives. 

A few people on the set recognised your fiancé Aiden from his YouTube channel. Kenneth, an Assistant Set Designer, drooled over him, "Maaahhnnn! I love your pottery videos! They are so calming dude. How do you make them so relaxing?"

The ever shy and soft-spoken Aiden gushed at the compliment, turning a shade of red which you always found adorable. Aiden was almost the same height as you, with a lean figure and a kind, freckled face. Your friends always told you that Aiden's looks were nothing to brag about, but you disagreed. Because for you, this man was the most handsomest, cutest and sexiest person in the world. 

And you knew he felt the same way about you. That's why, even after being together for almost 5 years now, you two still looked at each other with heart eyes.

As the party progressed, you made sure to avoid Chris, and so far, you were successful. That was until he softly said your name. 

With dread in your stomach, you and Aiden turned around to face the man. Aiden knew of your previous encounter with Chris, and tried to square his shoulders as much as possible, but Chris' towering physique and personality literally made it impossible for Aiden to appear tough.

You gave Chris a curt nod and received a sweet smile in response. 

"I believe I owe you an apology," he confessed, "I am sorry. My behavior that day was inexcusable." He paused for reaction, but looking at your hesitant faces, he continued, "It was quite a hectic day on the set and I guess I took it all out on you," he looked towards you, "You know I am capricious by nature. It takes me some time to become gregarious. But," he raised his hands in the air, "I repeat, the way I acted was inexcusable. I am sorry."

He extended his arm towards Aiden, "You are a porter I believe."

"Potter, sir," Aiden corrected while shaking his hand and introducing himself.

You bit your tongue, knowing that Chris was mocking you with his false apology. 

He invited Megan to join the conversation, "Megan loves handmade ceramics. Maybe she would be interested in your work."

Introductions were made again, and as the conversation pursued, it arrived at the topic of your marriage.

"Have you guys decided on a date yet?" asked Megan as Chris looked at you. 

"We are planning to get married as soon as the shooting ends for DJ," you smiled.

"Oh really? Wow that's… unusual," Megan tried her best to hide her surprise.

"We don't know exactly when will the shooting end," Chris said with a frown on his face.

"That's not an issue Mr Evans. We are actually planning to get married at the courthouse," revealed Aiden.

"You know if money is an issue then we would be more than happy to help you guys out," Chris offered in a sincere tone. 

"Oh no no Mr Evans. Money isn't an issue," you clarified, "We have decided to donate the money we had intended to spend on the wedding."

"But thank you so much for the generous offer, we really appreciate it," Aiden added with a sincere smile.

"You know a lot of couples are doing that nowadays. It's a trend I believe," Megan commented, "Where are you going to make the donation?"

"The local orphanage where I grew up. We both love kids and, it just seemed to be the perfect choice," Aiden beamed at you. 

You mirrored his expression while Chris scowled. "I think everybody should get the wedding of their dreams, and you" he stated, pointing towards you, "deserve much more than a courthouse wedding. Don't you want to get married in a beautiful church? Walk down the aisle in a gorgeous white gown? And get married to a man who can actually fulfill your wishes and desires?"

Squaring your shoulders, you looked at Chris dead in the eye, "I am marrying the man of my dreams Mr Evans. The wedding ceremony doesn't matter to me. What does matter is the beautiful life we will begin together. Now if you will excuse us," you linked your arm with Aiden's, "we need to leave."

Chris watched you leave as Megan tried to distract him with something else. Tonight did not go the way he had anticipated.

He left the party shortly after you, directly heading for his home. Standing under the cold shower, he tried to reason with himself. He was acting out of character. There was no reason for his behavior. You had made it ample clear that you loved your fiancé and that nobody in the world could sway you.

Then why was he so hell-bent on claiming you as his?

Because she's perfect for you, a voice answered him. 

Yeah, but she belongs to someone else, he argued.

So what?, the voice urged, Fight for her. You saw her wimp of a fiancé. You can break him into two pieces without breaking a sweat. She is made for you. Just you, and nobody else.

"I… Just… No," Chris stammered loudly as he shook his head, trying to get rid of the voice in his mind.

He tried to meditate, but it didn't work. Dodger too, was unable to distract him. Even his books on self-help and mental health were of no use.

As a last resort, he opened his laptop, but his fingers halted at the search bar, the cursor blinking back at him.

He was too tempted to search for you again. The last time he had Googled you, he had been satisfied with the results. You often volunteered with a few NGOs, coordinated multiple donation drives, visited orphanages and taught underprivileged children. His heart had melted at a particular photograph- you were holding an 8-month-old girl in your arms, while looking over a painting drawn by a 4-year-old boy as the child looked up at you with a toothy smile. 

It reminded him of everything he wanted to have, but still couldn't. 

He closed his eyes and started kneading his forehead with his palms. Everybody he knew always only had the best things about him. Right from Scarlett to Mark to Olivia to every fucking person he had ever worked with, everybody said he deserved to have a loving wife, a stable family. 

And yet, here he was, on a Friday night, home alone with a beer bottle, on the verge of anxiety. 

Was it just anxiety though?

Who the fuck is Aiden and why does he deserve to be with her? the voice in his head was back.

They love each other, they want to get married, Chris reasoned.

He doesn't hold a candle next to you, the voice persisted, People love money more than they love others. She will come to you. But you need to let her know you are available. You need to take her to-

"No," Chris interrupted the voice loudly, "No. This is unhealthy. No."

Reaching for his phone, he searched for his therapist's number, when the voice chuckled, You really think a shrink is going to help you with this? Eh? They are only going to ask you to fuck another pussy, or read more books. And I will be damned before you touch another book about trees. 

Chris shook his head again, but in vain. Unable to find the number in his contacts, he turned to Google for the second time that night and started searching for therapists in his area. The voice tut-ted, Yeah, as if the psycho doctor is going to shut their trap about Chris Evans crying over a girl.

Chris almost crushed his bottle in frustration. He couldn't let the voice take over. Not now. Not after working his ass off to get where wanted in his career. Taking a deep breath, he looked at the screen again and came across the headline- "Why Do People Write Fanfiction?" The word fanfiction seemed vaguely familiar to him. He was going to ignore the article and scroll downwards, but the brief underneath the headline made him stop- …mostly, people write fanfiction to stay in touch with the characters they love," says leading Psychologist Andrea Williams.

Intrigued, he opened the article and started reading. Then he opened another, and another and by the time he was done, he had read 6-7 articles on the concept of fanfiction and what it entailed.

Sighing, he opened a new word document. He was reluctant to type a letter, let alone a whole fictional story. He had tried everything and yet, you chose to occupy a rent-free space in his mind. 

Now all he needed was a reference.

He minimised the document, and opened a new tab on his browser. His hesitant fingers typed the words - Chris Evans Fanfiction - into the search bar, and he instantly winced.

Millions of search results were displayed before him, and as he read the descriptions of each one of them, he realised that 99% of these stories were porn. There was no sugar-coating it. On the 5th page of the search results, he luckily found a story sans the erotica. It was a cute one-shot about him going on a first date with the reader. He read it with squinted eyes, afraid that a sex scene might jump out of the blue, but luckily, nothing of the sort happened. 

Chris liked reading it. It was an innocent story filled with romance. 

But the only problem? It was written from the reader's point of view. He checked a few others, and realised they were all written from the women's perspective, not his.

He sat back in his chair, turning his head such that he was looking at the ceiling, contemplating his options. 

You want her, the voice whispered.

Reluctantly, he typed the first word that came to his mind. Your name. 

Chris rested his chin on his palm, wondering where to start. If this were fiction, would tonight have gone different? Would you have visited his house for karaoke that night? 

Tapping his fingers on the desk, he bit his tongue in thought. Thinking it was better to start at the beginning, he started typing from his POV-

The first time I saw her I thought she was pretty. I saw her during meetings and the shooting. Then one day I saw her giving food to a homeless man-

Deleting his words, Chris shook his head. This was insane! Right? You were a real human being and it was unethical of him to write this! He needed to learn to handle his feelings. 

If you don't have the balls to fight for her, then be with her in the stories you write. Grow a spine Evans, whispered the insulting voice.

Hesitating, he tried to write another paragraph, which ended up getting deleted. 

Try again, the voice coaxed him. Pour your heart into this. Write better. 

Taking a sip of the beer, Chris started typing again-

It was lunchtime when I saw her arranging some equipment on the table. Her back was facing me as I carefully approached her, afraid to startle her. I breathed in her scent, light, floral and fresh, before whispering her name.

She turned around, a bit surprised to see me, but she smiled nevertheless. Oh gosh her smile. I had seen her smile a few times on the set, but in person, it took my breath away. 

"Hi," I managed to greet her shyly. She matched my response.

"I was wondering if you would like to sing karaoke with me? There's a karaoke party tonight at my house if you would like to come," I asked her hopefully.

Her expression turned remorseful as she apologised, "I cannot come Mr Evans. My fiancé won't let me."

Imagine my surprise when I found out about her fiancé. "I didn't know about your fiancé. Why won't he let you come?" I asked her, concerned as she started sniffing a bit.

"He's… he's very strict Mr Evans. He doesn't like it when I go out with my fri-friends or co-workers," she shared between her light sobs.

My heart broke into pieces on hearing her confession. I had often noticed her taciturn behaviour on the set, but I had no idea about the reason behind it.

I raised my hands to cup her face. I was itching to wipe her tears with my lips, but instead, I used my thumbs. 

"I want to help you. Please let me," I requested.

"Nobody can help me Mr Evans. I am stuck with a monster." She pulled a chain from underneath her shirt and I got a glimpse at the marks on her neck. "Aiden gave me this chain and locket instead of an engagement ring. He said it will be better than a ring. And now he-" she started sobbing harder. I pulled her into my chest, running my right hand through her hair as my left hand soothed her back.

"And now he uses it as a leash," my angel whispered, horrified, "he says I do not deserve a ring."

I hugged her tighter and thankfully, she buried her face in my chest, "You are no longer stuck with him. Are you listening to me?" I bent my face to bring my lips near her ears, "I will make sure that you are free of him."

She shook her head, reluctantly pulling away from me, "No Mr Evans. I cannot-"

"Yes you can," I interrupted her. "You are going to come to my house for karaoke tonight. Message Aiden right now, and tell him that I will be dropping you home. Okay?"

After some coaxing, she agreed. I held her close as she typed out the message, her hands shaking around her mobile phone. Finally she clicked on the SEND button.

I brushed a kiss on her forehead, "Wait for me in the back alley after the shoot, okay? I will pick you up from there."

She nodded gratefully in response.

I couldn't wait for the shoot to be over that day. In my eagerness, I even messed up a few takes, mumbling over my lines like an idiot. But eventually, I got through the day. 

I was excited when I picked her up after the shoot. I could see she was nervous and maybe a little bit scared, but she still entered my car anyway. So I made small talk with her and tried to put her mind at ease.

Finally, when we reached my house, she was in awe. 

"This is the most beautiful house I have ever seen Mr Evans," she gasped as I led her inside, "I don't think I have ever seen anything like it before!"

I chuckled, "I am happy you like it. It… it just feels empty sometimes, you know? I find loneliness ubiquitous in this house."

You looked at her puzzled expression and smiled. "Ubi-what was that word Mr Evans?" 

"Ubiquitous," I replied, "it means something that is present and is found everywhere."

"Ahh okay," she nodded, "thank you for teaching me."

"I will accept your gratitude only on one condition."

She tilted her head ever so slightly, "And what would that be Mr Evans?"

I smiled as I slightly bent down and held her hand, "You need to start calling me Christopher."

Visibly flustered, my angel looked down at her feet. "I-I can't Mr Evans," she said in a low voice.

"Why can't you?"

"I respect you too much sir," she confessed.

"Hey," I gently nudged her forehead with mine, "I want you to say my name. Please?" 

I stared into her eyes as she met mine. God.

There was something about her eyes that was absolutely riveting. The depth of her eyes pulled me in towards her as I read the plethora of emotions hidden within them. Her gaze searched my face for malice, deceit, but only found love and trust in return.

I slowly cupped her face as her breath hitched in her chest. I could feel my own heart race. Bringing my face as close as I could to hers, I whispered, the distance between our lips fast closing, "Please."

She parted her lips ever so slightly. I felt her warm breath on mine as she obliged, "Christopher."

I closed my eyes as I heard the most melodious symphony, my name draped in her sweet voice.

I dipped my head to kiss her, feel the shape of her lips, but she stepped back.

"I-I am st-still engaged Chris-Christopher," she stammered.

I straightened myself, my hands no longer cupping her face, "I understand. I am sorry. Would you like-"

Before I could finish, a car honked outside. While I was curious at the intrusion, her eyes widened with fear. 

"That's him," she gasped, "Aiden is here. He found me."

"How is that possible?"

"He has a location app installed on my phone through which he tracks my location," she revealed, visibly shaking at the thought of greeting her fiancé.

"Stay here. You will be safe inside. Let me handle him," I said, squeezing her shoulders.

I walked out of the house and towards the car. The vehicle didn't look in good shape, it's owner even more so.

Aiden manually rolled down his window and spat on the ground. Fumes of cheep alcohol and stale cigarette smoke escaped through the window. "Where is she?" he hollered.

"That's not your concern anymore. She's breaking up with you," I crossed my arms and stood facing him. "If you know what's good for you, you will leave her alone and stay out of her life."

Aiden exited the car at that threat, the door of the vehicle rattled as he opened it. "She said that?" he scoffed, "Color me surprised, I thought the little mouse had no fight left in her. Bring her out here. I want to hear," he wriggled a finger at me, "whatever the fuck you are saying from her own fucking mouth."

"Not going to happen Aiden. You followed her here against her own wishes. Now scoot off before I call the cops," I warned.

"You think I will be scared of some Hollywood prick who shits diamonds?" he sneered. 

"No. But you should be scared of the law. You are currently harassing the owner of this private property, not to mention you have clearly abused your girlfriend mentally, emotionally and physically. So be sensible," I took a step towards him, "and fuck off."

"STOP," she shouted as she trusted towards us. She stood in front of me, as if to guard me from her monster of a fiancé, "Please don't hurt him. I will come with you. Just let him be," she pleaded with him as he smirked. 

Before he could react, I pulled her behind me, making sure my body was shielding her from Aiden.

"She's a gold-digging bitch. You stay away from her," he pointed at me as he tried to reach her. 

I pushed him away once and kept my hand on his weak, thin torso. Turning my head, I asked her for the last time, "Are you sure you want to go with him? I can save you. I will protect you, provide for you and keep you happy!" I urged her.

She looked at me with hope and helplessness. Slowly, she glanced at Aiden who looked like he was ready to commit murder. Sobbing uncontrollably, she removed the chain with the sunflower locket and threw it at his feet. 

"Leave me alone," she managed to mumble at him.

Furious, Aiden growled and tried to pounce at her. Fortunately, I intervened on time and punched his sorry excuse of a face into the ground. 

She gasped as Aiden fell with a thud. Embarrassed, he slowly got up and dusted himself, muttering under his breath as he sat inside his wreck of a car. 

"Don't bother coming back to gather your stuff! I am burning it all tonight you cock-sucking bitch!" and with that outburst, Aiden was finally gone.

She was sobbing and shaking uncontrollably at what had just transpired. I wrapped her in my arms to let her know she was safe. Within moments, I felt her ease into my body. 

I closed my eyes and smiled, my nose buried into her hair. My angel was safe. My angel was mine.

Chris blinked his eyes as he re-read his story. He already felt a whole lot lighter, his anxiety at ease, and mind exhausted. Clicking on SAVE, he finished the last of his beer and went to sleep, hoping that this was the end to his problems. Little did he know about the horrors that awaited him, behind the door he had just opened by writing that fictional story.

__--__--__--__--__--__--__--__--__--__--__--__--__

Permanent tag: @donutloverxo

Chris Evans and his characters taglist: @onetwo3000

This story: @just-one-ordinary-fangirl @carpediemm-18

(If you guys don't want to be tagged in this, just let me know. No hard feelings 😊)

Taglists are open! Just comment, send an ask or a message!

[zwiezraczek]

Lover [Blurb]

Part 3: Player - Part 4

Note: It has been almost two months since I updated the Believer blurb! But now, here we are with the final part! I hope you'll enjoy it! Especially you, 🐼 Nonnie! 💕💕💕

~~~

You were sitting on this chair for hours, your muscles sore and your jaw clenched every single time one of the men you once directed took your face between his large fingers, tightening his grip on your cheeks until Billy spoke. With every new confrontation, you could feel your mouth bleed and you became accustomed to blood's taste. And to your father coming to give you food and water in order to have a breaking point for Billy, and probably because he still loved you somehow. But you couldn't figure out how.

You closed your eyes. You wished a painless death, because this became too much. Did you spent hours, days or weeks there? You had lost count. The harsh source of light was your only sun, and your moon became this little light they had put in the basement when nobody was there for a longer moment. And during these moments, you imagined yourself kicking their asses, with Billy and escape from there. He whispered a countless number of times that he was sorry about all of this, dragging you into this matter was probably his biggest mistake he said. But you had to open your eyes one day, and you preferred this way than any other.

“Y/N,” he said, as one of the guard left his position for a moment.

“What,” you asked, with a weakened voice and a your throat dry.

“Do you regret being my friend sometimes?” And even in the darkness, you could sense how this question burned his lips and made him wince.

“You're really asking me this, there, while you're living your best life with your BDSM kink,” you snapped in a lower tone in order to keep your voice consistent. “I regretted being your friend, when I found out that you lied about your death, but otherwise never.”

“You don't hate me for what's happening to you?” And before you could reply, you heard gunshots coming from outside the basement.

“What the hell,” you whispered.

Men seemed to be running through the corridors, heavy steps and heavy guns and you knew that this never meant anything good. But you were useless here, and you couldn't even save yourself from there. Neither could Billy with his kinky stuff. You closed your eyes, if you had to die now, you prayed the lord for a painless death.

Somebody opened the door, the light hitting your eyelids and you forced them to open again. You saw an impressive figure in the frame of the door, with a gun in each hand groping around for a switch. And when they finally found it, the basement became this harsh-lighted space again. He ran towards Billy, and you protested, kicking the ground and trying to free yourself from the cuffs, your voice refusing to cooperate in your actions. And then, you saw how calm Billy was when the man detached him and how he almost hugged him.

And then you understood. The Ghosts squad.

The tall masked man came towards you, and knelt right behind your chair.

“We've got you, senorita,” he whispered and you thanked him a countless number of times before getting up and walking, slowly towards the exit. He let you put your hand over his shoulder as he saw you struggling. “What did they do yo you?”

“Ugly shit,” you replied exhaling as walking became even harder than it was before.

“Four, you're doing alright,” he asked Billy and your bestfriend nodded vigorously.

“Have been worse, just take care of her Three,” he said as he looked at you, pain in his eyes.

“Don't worry Four, we're getting out of here,” he said with a smirk.

You noticed that Billy had a gun in his hands, and how much you wished to be less useless and to grab a gun and kill all of these man around, in a furious rage asking for blood. And even more blood than you could imagine. Patiently, the three of you made their way out of your house, with your help now, directing your small group towards the exit of this hell of a house. In the car, somebody was already waiting for you – you recognized the French woman's hair when you sat on the backseat. You closed your eyes for a moment, as you heard the rattle of the engine. You have had enough of all of this. You just hoped you were free.

And as soon as you entered the Ghost's place, Five greeted both of you by making you lay down in order to examine you. Apparently, you were the one who was the most injured of the two of you. Five left Billy on his bed, and came towards you to examine your stomach on to make sure that the bruises you had weren't the sign of internal bleeding, and even if it did hurt when she pressed her hands against your stomach, you seemed to be good, butextremely tired. Way more than Billy.

But then, a rush, you heard someone say to hurry up because Seven was shot. You closed your eyes, and for the first time in a long moment, you slept without any real preoccupation.

~~~

“Look who's here, with us,” One teased while he saw you entering the room, “our best solution and our biggest problem!”

You spent the past week laying down on one of the couched they had in their meeting room, trying to recover mentally from what had happened to you. You were first kidnapped, then you discovered that your bestfriend wasn't dead and that you killed a bitch for – almost – nothing, then you learned that your own father supported children traffic, and your father himself made sure to punish you once you dared to step up against him when you helped the Ghosts and you had to pay for it the highest price, but apparently Billy suffered the most because of it. And finally, you landed there, with the Ghosts, without any promise for your future, without any true hope.

The only little thing that had kept giving you a little light, was Billy. He stayed with you as much as he could – while he wasn't by Seven's side, Seven who got shot badly but recovered pretty quickly - talking to you, apologizing for what you dragged you into, again. But you didn't regret what had happened, you even enjoyed knowing that you contributed to something “good”. Something that wasn't your first thought, because what once was on your mind was murder, fun and money. But your little adventure taught you something about yourself, that even when somebody was rotten to the very core, they had feelings and weaknesses. Yours were children, your father's you and Billy's you too. But your father was gone now. Along with a lot of his personal guards, the ones knowing about the basement situation – because you could swear that he wasn't able to tell everybody that you betrayed him, ha had to come up with some excuse for your sudden disappearance, and the Ghosts found out that you just ran out, and probably died somewhere, which was pretty much convenient.

And now, you stood among them all, as they spoke about the rest of their plan. You couldn't believe how much had changed in so little time.

“I never wanted to be part of this,” you retorted before standing next to Billy.

“But turns out you're one of us now,” One said with a forced expression as you blinked looking at Billy first. “We've discussed about this, and we can't just let you go into the wild while knowing about us...”

“And because somebody will probably try to kill her,” Billy insisted while looking insistingly at One.

“Yeah, yeah,” One brushed him off, “so, basically we decided you should be part of our team.”

“You're joking,” you blurted, hardly believing what you had heard. The man who called you a 'good girl' once, while you were tied up sitting on a metallic chair said that you were now part of his squad? Impossible.

“Do I look like the Joker,” he asked you while pointing his serious face. You were tempted to say yes.

“Yes you do,” Two said and One just groaned but before he could say anything she continued. “We fucked up your life badly, so the least we can do is to give you another life.”

“Poetic, but not what I was going for,” One remarked. “I was about to say that she had value, and that probably she knew way more than we do about our next target but go on, Two, the floor's yours!”

“I'm in,” you finally said, and Billy looked at you with a little smile, “I don't have any other choice, and I probably can help you with many things, it's good to be bad but maybe it'sbetter to serve a better cause.”

“As an ex hitman, I can confirm that it's way better this way,” Three said with a grin as Two rolled her eyes.

“Welcome to the Ghost's family,” Billy whispered as everybody began to talk again about you entering the squad. You could only smile.

~~~

Between missions, you loved to sit in the trailer they had given to you. Your own little place, where you could swear, curse and cry. But mostly, a place where you had to learn to live again. But you weren't alone, Billy was by your side now. And how happy it made you feel, and how relieved you were about all of this. You had your bestfriend back. This was what mattered the most. Even if the price of what you were living was high – as your own father's death that you still couldn't grieve, you couldn't grasp enough courage to grieve him properly without letting your inner rage explode – you were happier than before. Your hunger for blood had stopped, and Three was there to help you as you began to live like somebody normal.

But Billy was your best ally in this game. You could count on him as you never had the opportunity to. During the first nights, he stayed with you, as you held your tears back because everything was too much for you, because it finally had hit you: you were alone again. But he caressed your forehead, kissed it, and reminded you that you would never be alone again. Not on his watch. And often, you would fall asleep between his arms. Feeling safe. And probably loved.

“Y/N,” he whispered during one night, as you had your face against his chest, resting. You only hummed in response. “You don't hate me for what's happening to you?”

“Billy,” you groaned as you pulled away a little from him, “I don't, I promise. I'm thankful I had the chance to find you and to feel freer than be...”

“But you had a stable life,” he cut you mid-sentence, and you could feel his anxiety grow as he spoke. “You had everything you ever wanted and could wish for, and with the Ghosts we destroyed it all because of our stupid plan, a plan to save the world... By crushing yours...”

“Billy,” you whispered as you put your hand on his cheek, rubbing it with your fingertips now. “I'm not regretting anything, and I don't hate you Billy. I will never hate you, I promise. I love you too much to hate you,” the words naturally flowed out your mouth and you hoped that he wouldn't catch it.

“I love you too, y/n, that was why I couldn't bear see you suffering when I died or not so long ago hen they wanted to have information from me,” he said, his eyes glistening in the dark. You felt yourself attracted towards him, your moth making its way towards him before you kissed him, delicately. You never knew how much you wanted this moment until it happened. His lips were soft, and he pulled you closer against him.

“I think the lucky bastard was right,” you whispered as you thought about the man who had mocked you when you spoke with Billy during your captivity, “I do have an undying love for you, Billy”

“And so do I, y/n.”

[inglourious-imagines]

Ocean Eyes pt.3 (Cliff Booth)

Summary: It seems like Cliff Booth was the love of your life. However, the relationship didn't work out and all you're left with are painful memories.

Author's Note: I'm sorry it took so damn long to post another part but I've been really sick. Requests are still open! Feel free to request anything! Hope you enjoy! ♡

She was having the time of her life. Everything was simply perfect. She had a perfect job, perfect best friend and perfect boyfriend. It seemed almost surreal. But the thing was that moments like this don't last long. And Y/N was not an exception.

•••

It all started in the middle of December 1969, almost after 5 months of the happiest time in her life. 

She was sitting in her apartment watching the night through a window, with a cigarette in one hand and a beer in the other. A little smile appeared on her face when she heard the phone ringing.

"Yes?"

"Hello baby."

Even only these two words sent shivers down her spine and her smile grew bigger. "Hey Cliff. What's up?"

"I'm really sorry but I can't make it tonight. I have a lot of work with Rick on the set. We can't film this one scene right."

"Oh, okay. Don't worry about it. We can have dinner next time."

"I knew you'd understand. Promise I'll make it up to you, baby."

Her excitement faded a little bit but she was glad she could at least hear his voice today. She threw the cigarette butt out of the window and opened a new beer. A nice night off was really something useful now.

But the phone rang again. She was confused a bit but picked it up. "Hello?"

"Hey Y/N! What y-you doing tonight? I h-have a free day in w-work. Wanna meet up?" 

It was Rick. She felt like someone stabbed her in the stomach and then twisted with the knife in the wound. 

"Maybe another time, mate." she said quickly and hang up the phone. She didn't want to make any accelerated desicion but she just couldn't stop a few tears from falling. Apparently, something was wrong in her perfect life. 

She wasn't sure if she should call Cliff right away or just wait and ask him about it later. She looked outside for an answer but the moon was jut blankly starring at her and the city seemed somehow calm and quiet. And then, out of the sudden, it started snowing. 

She always got so happy when the winter was coming but now, she just wasn't able to. 

•••

After a long and exhausting day at work, she thought it'd be nice to sit down in some little cafeteria and relax a bit. She needed this more than anything. 

Y/N got out of studio and when she wanted to cross the road, she heard someone calling her name. Rick ran to her all so sweaty while heavily breathing. "What's the matter, man?" she laughed and stepped back a little. Rick raised his hand as a sign to give him a few seconds to catch a breath. "Cliff didn't show up t-today and I don't have anyone to drive me home. Then i saw you and i thought w-we could spend a day together or something. We h-haven't done that in a long time." the actor suggested. 

Cliff did not show up to give him a lift? What the hell is going on?

"Why not? By the way, what's up with Cliff?"

"You don't know? I-i thought you'd know."

That was it. That was the last drop. Cliff should be right here, right now, picking her and Rick up and then they should all go to have some dinner and have a lovely time.

But he wasn't here and she knew there's a chance he might never will be again. 

•••

As the night went by, she and Rick were blind drunk, like the good old times. "Oh Rick, I've missed you so much." Y/N breathed out and took a drag from her cigarette. "Me too! We haven't been doing t-these fucking  parties since you got together with Cliff. You were both oh so f-fucking in love and i didn't want to i-interupt that."

After these words, she took a long drag from her cigarette, it almost seemed like she wanted to bury all the pain deep down inside of her. Because the thing was, they probably weren't in love anymore. It was just her.

•••

"You know what? Let's go visit Cliff!" she suggested lively and jumped out of her chair. "W-woah, Y/N. You sure you wanna do t-this? Apparently, there's something wrong." Rick said kindly and took her hand in his.

"That's exactly why. This whole ignorance is killing me. Rick, i deserve to know what's fucking going on. He can't just push me out of his life without a word, not after what we've been through."

"I know. It's just- i don't u-understand what this is all about. This isn't him, Y/N. He's not like that. Fuck, i can't e-even count how many times he's told me how much he l-loves you and how he doesn't want to fuck things up."

"Oh dear Rick, he already did that."

•••

They were standing in front of Cliff's trailer and neither of them dared to knock. They were scared of what they might find inside - the most ridiculous scenarios were rushing through Y/N's mind one after another. "I'll wait over there, d-dear." Rick whispered and began to walk away. Now, it was only her.

Y/N knocked on the door and walked in. She froze right in the middle of her movement. Cliff was laying on the small bed, cigarette hanging from his lips as usual as his ocean eyes wandered on a beautiful woman's body - she was standing in the little kitchen trying to cook something dressed in one of Cliff's shirts - Y/N's favourite and she was sure Cliff knew. 

"Look, it's not-" Cliff began to explain quickly and tried to get out of bed.

"Just shut up! I've had enough of this! I just don't understand why you haven't told me earlier and kept on going doing... this!" 

They were staring at each other and she thought that his ocean eyes are still the most beautiful ones she'd ever seen. 

"Hey! I'm Cassidy!" the woman broke the silence and smiled sweetly at her. Y/N just rolled her eyes and turned back to Cliff: "After all we've been through? I think i fucking deserve at least to know why!"

"It's hard to explain." he said quietly and threw his cigarette away.

"What the fuck, Cliff? Hard to explain? For you? I'm outta here."

She heard Cliff calling after her but she wasn't listening to him. She needed to be as far as possible. At this point, she wasn't able to stop the tears from falling. At least, she still had Rick to take care of her now.

•••

It'd been one week now, one long week without him. It was harder than she thought, so damn harder. No calls, no messages, nothing and Y/N started to wonder if she has ever meant something to him. It was still breaking her heart but she finally realized the truth - Cliff hadn't cared, obviously. And she wasn't able to handle this fact. 

•••

The next day, a postman left a letter at her doorstep. This was rather strange since she hadn't been receiving any kind of correspondence.

She sat down in her living room and finally looked at it for the first time. Her heart skipped a beat. She could recognize this handwriting everywhere. 

[brokemultidotexe]

Second Chances Pt.5 | JJK

↬ Pairing: idol!jungkook x reader

↬ Summary: Even though it scared you, you knew you couldn’t walk away again. Big Hit allowed you to go on tour with the boys but with the promise to keep your relationship with the boys hidden from the public eye. The saying “good things never last” rings true as rumors of a secret romance makes its way online and suddenly the boys lives are put under a microscope and threats start pouring in. Jungkook does everything in his power to make sure you’ll stay, but what happens when the one thing you feared most comes true? [sequel to Unexpected]

↬ Word Count: 3.3k

↬ Warning/Rating: None/T

↬  Genre: Romance/Friendship

↬  Part: Trailer | Prologue [1 / 2] | 1 | 1.5 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |

You enjoyed the few days you were able to steal with JK. You ended up spending quite a bit of time alone while the boys finished promoting while they were in America. Their growth in popularity surprised you. The six months you spent trying to escape everything BTS, ended up being when they exploded globally.

You found yourself missing JK more and more, and the more time you spent with him you didn't know how the two of you could handle the distance. When the boys had interviews you stayed at the hotel waiting for them to come back. It was during one of those times that Bang PD dropped by JK’s room to talk to you.

“Are you enjoying your time here?” he asked with a smile as the two of you sat at the small table off to the side.

“Very much so...It’s been nice being able to see everyone again.” you gave him a hesitant smile. You weren’t sure why he had stopped by and your mind was thinking of all the worst scenarios. Would he ask you to stay away from JK and never talk to him again? The thought alone made your stomach sink.

“I know everyone has enjoyed seeing you again, especially Jungkook. The change in him since you’ve been here is astronomical. It’s been nice to have him smiling again and showing the passion he had lost during the time you two have been apart.”

You felt the need to interrupt, “Please know that I never meant to cause such a disruption within the group and staff. I thought I was doing the right thing for the both of us.” you looked down at your hands folded in your lap.

“I’m not trying to make you feel guilty Y/N. I see why you did it and if it was anyone else I would have said that you probably did the right thing, but when Jungkook is passionate about something he’s all in. He doesn’t do anything halfway and when it comes you, you are everything to him. We had many talks throughout the whole time he was struggling and I came to realize just how important you were to him and that this wasn’t some meaningless relationship that wouldn’t last.” he gave you an encouraging smile. “I’m not here to be the bearer of bad news Y/N. It’s actually the opposite. I had a meeting with the staff about our next destination during this tour and all of them were very happy with the way you had handled the award show for all of us. I wanted to ask you if you would be interested in being a part of our team as an interpreter for the duration of the tour.”

Your eyes went wide with shock. A job offer was the last thing you expected to hear “...wait, what?” you stuttered.

He laughed, “I’m asking if you want to be the boy’s interpreter for the rest of the tour. This would mean you would travel with boys and the staff and help out anyone that needed it.”

You leaned back in your chair as you continued to try and wrap your head around what he was asking. Being an interpreter for Big Hit was a huge opportunity and you knew this type of opportunity didn’t come around very often. You were so excited to be able to have the opportunity to do something you loved and that would allow you to travel.

“Y/N this would allow you to be with Jungkook instead of having to be apart again, but I feel the need to remind you of my original request when the two of you came to me. If you do decide to be part of the tour then you both will have to make sure that the public doesn’t find out. We don’t want a dating scandal to surround the boys. We want the spotlight to be on their music and who they are as people, not about the fact they are dating someone. Please don’t misunderstand this as I don’t want the two of you together because that’s not what I'm saying. I think the two of you are great together, but I'm requesting this from a CEO standpoint.”

You understood why he requested that from the two of you, but it didn’t suck any less. Would going on tour with him cause distractions? Would you be able to handle the fans and what they say? Would the stress of the tour cause strain on your relationship? A million thoughts were going through your mind to the point that forming an answer was difficult.

“How about you think about it and you let me know?” He stood up and you looked up at him.

You watched as he turned to leave, “Wait!” his hand hovered over the door handle. “I’ll do it. I’ll be an interpreter for Big Hit.” you blurted out. Apparently, your heart knew what it wanted because you felt like you hadn’t decided yet, but the thought of giving up the opportunity and not seeing JK for a while scared you.

Bang PD turned and smiled at you, “I will tell them to get the paperwork ready and you can sign it later today.”

“Is it okay if I'm the one that tells him?” you felt excitement at getting to see his face when he found out.

“Of course. I’ll make sure to tell the staff to keep it a secret for now.”

“Thank you.” you stood and bowed deeply.

He smiled and left the room after telling you that the boys are done with the schedules and should be back soon. You decided to lay on the bed and let everything that just happened sink in even more. You couldn’t believe that you just landed your dream job and it allowed you to be next to JK. It didn’t take long before you sobered up and realized that you were going to have to tell your parents that you were leaving again and you weren’t sure when you would be back since Big Hit was constantly adding more dates because the demand for tickets is so high. You closed your eyes and sighed, hopefully, your mother would take it better the second time around. You still remembered her break down over you no longer living there after you decided to stay even longer than you originally planned. You couldn’t help that you fell in love with more than just Korea.

You heard a beep and knew that JK was back from the interviews. Both of you smiled when your eyes connected. You still had a flutter in your stomach every time you saw him. The saying ‘absence makes the heart grow fonder’ is totally true. JK dropped everything he was holding and crawled on the bed and pulled you to lay down and wrapped his arms and legs around you. “I feel like my brain is mush after all those interviews. I really should have studied English more.”

You laughed and ran your fingers through his hair. You knew the struggle of foreign languages and their sudden rise in western popularity caused all of them to have to sharpen their English skills in a short period. “It gets better, plus you have me here.”

JK buried his face in your neck, “Having you here is the best thing ever, but I can’t take you to interviews with me.” His head shot up startling you, “Oh! We can lock the interpreter in a closet somewhere and you can pose as our interpreter.” he nodded to himself, “I like this plan.”

You looked at him with a knowing smile and it solidified your feelings over going on tour with them. “When do you guys leave?” The smile and happiness fell from his face quickly as the awful truth came up.

JK ran his fingers through his hair and sighed, “Tomorrow.” you felt bad for making him feel this way but you really wanted to surprise him and giving such good news after bad news was the best thing you could think of. “Can we go and beg the staff to find some more interviews? I’ll torture myself with English for a whole day if it gave me just a few more hours with you. He looked in your eyes and your heart skipped a beat. He had always made you feel so loved even when he wasn’t trying.

“Well…” you let your statement hang in the air until he raised an  eyebrow waiting for you to continue, “what if I just accept Bang PD’s job offer of being an interpreter for Big Hit for the rest of the tour?”

He sat up quickly and looked down at you, “What?”

You sat up so you were eye level with him, “Bang PD came here to talk to me less than an hour ago. He offered me a job to work as an interpreter for the staff during the rest of the tour. I mean I don’t know what will happen after that or if--”

You were surging forward before and before you could completely register what happened your lips crashed into his. You expected words from him but the feeling of his lips moving on yours spoke louder than words. He pulled you closer and broke the kiss to put his forehead against yours.

“Please tell me I didn’t hear you wrong,” he whispered desperately.

“You didn’t hear me wrong,” you said squashing his worries.

You had been surprised before when he pulled you into a kiss but that seemed miniscule compared to now. He pulled you closer and flipped the both of you over so he was on top of you. He caged you in underneath him and the air around the two of you changed when your eyes met. “I love you.” He leaned down and placed his lips on yours. This kiss was different than any of the other kisses the two of you had shared. Most of them being rushed but passionate kisses or quick pecks here and there. Instead of you being against a hotel room wall your back was pressed against the bed and kissed you deeply. As if all the feelings he had kept stored away because of the circumstances was now flooding out and you felt overwhelmed.

He positioned himself so he could slide his fingers into your hair and you felt a light tug causing you to moan and you could feel him fisting the comforter beneath you. Your fingers were itching to touch him so you ran your hands up his arms as he continued to kiss you deepening it even more. This is what happiness felt like and it felt good to finally feel at home again. You had never been so sure of a decision as he pulled back and looked down at you and smiled. Seeing the pure happiness in his eyes made everything the two of you went through to get to this moment worth it. You knew that you never wanted to be a part from him again and made a promise that you would do everything to make sure the two of you never had to experience that pain again.

AN: I know it’s been forever since I updated this story and I’m so sorry! I had major writer's block with it. I'm going to do my best to try and not have so much time between this and ch.6. I hope you all enjoyed it and it was worth the wait!

[roswellroamer]

Maramba River Lodge, Zambia to Panda Rest Camp, Pandamatenga, Botswana. 175km. 4/30/19.

Today we awoke to more monkeys. They stole an Italian woman's bread roll then promptly sat on the roof just out of reach almost teasing her as he ate it. Yesterday there was a family that was moving due to the monkeys stealing their stuff but it was mostly food. We packed up while Sean and John visited the falls. They had been too busy the day before trying to source a spare trailer tire and wheel since we noticed the rough journey had broken off the bracket holding it in place under the trailer. No rain again (none since we left South Africa!) and perhaps a touch cooler today. High just into the low 90's. We settled up our room. Again I will comment on the strength of the dollar in this part of the world. For two of us, one dinner, lunches, breakfasts and lots of rounds of drinks and bottles of wine over two days... the grand total equaled $77US. For all those meals and drinks it seems very reasonable. Beers are just over a dollar. We loaded the bakkie when the boys returned and headed out somewhere near 10. We headed back to Livingstone and then backtracked on the M10 until we reached the turn off to aim south to Kazungula, the gateway to Botswana and Southern Africa as they proclaim. However before that turnoff, we passed through the same national park where I was the only one to spot and stop for the giraffes. Today, I was sweeping again and was the only one to spot and stop for a herd of zebras. 🦓 Very cool! Four were gathered around a tree. Just like skittish horses they started galloping away as I approached but got a couple good shots first. The border crossing in Zambia reeked of the same chaos we had experienced coming in. However we did hire a guy ($20) to help guide us through the process. Passport stamp and then ledger signing. Then another stop to get your Zambian paperwork stamped. I thought we were done, but no! We had to then actually pay Zambia to cancel the scam insurance they had made us buy on the way in! $50 to buy it and it was supposed to be for a month. Then 3 days later they demand $20 to cancel it. You can't get your exit paperwork stamped without it. Some sort of local tax was also required, about $5/bike. They sure know how to make it difficult and expensive to cross their borders. Plus we learned from our host that they also charge 15% VAT whereas across the river in Zimbabwe they do not, creating an imbalance that tourists are starting to take advantage of to the detriment of Zambian tourist businesses. Anyway, the whole hour or so we were mostly waiting around our bikes in the dirt amidst countless trucks that are waiting much longer, we were hounded by some guys selling bracelets, carvings, money exchangers, etc. Generally very nice but persistent and don't really take no for an answer. We then laid something like $20 for the ferry which is something like a rickety barge to cross the Zambezi into Botswana. 🇧🇼In 2007 they started a massive bridge and roadway project. Instead of 1920's tech to cross the river they are building a proper bridge between the two countries. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kazungula_Bridge Expected completion is next year and it looks like they may meet that expectation. Finally our "guide" motioned is to proceed down to the water's edge. We were about to crops the mighty Zambezi for the last time on this African adventure. The ferry was on the way from the Botswana side and it looks like a very basic flattened out barge with some hydraulic lifts to adjust the entry/exit ramps on either end. We quickly embarked and one of the locals told me he was shuttling back and forth to try to get some of his trucks through the border crossing. I can't imagine dealing with that on a regular basis.

Once across the river we rode under the partially constructed bridge and through a shallow pool of cleansing water so as not to bring bugs/dirt with possible infections into Botswana. The whole feel was different. No money traders or guys selling stuff. An actual computer or two was spotted inside! Though, after a couple of us passed through it quit and the rest were processed with manual paperwork. Still it was only passport control, one ledger and then paying of 165 Pula (about $15) by credit card and then we were done. Well nearly. We all did need to walk on a wet mat to clean our shoes as we had done to the tires. Then a guard took our stamped paper and off we were heading, southward into the animal rich country of Botswana. Apparently there used to be hunting allowed but due to some abuse, all hunting was prohibited here for a long time. Poachers are shot. I've been told there are more elephants here than anywhere else. It didn't take us long to find some. After getting gas in Kasane and some hydration 😓 we spotted a herd of elephants while traveling south on the A33. Two youngsters were quickly hustled off into the brush before I could stop and get my phone ready. 🐘 But a few others remained on both sides of the road and flapped their ears for us. Got a few shots, then we warily proceeded to pass between the graceful pachyderms. 🏍 We passed a few herd of zebras but the volume of our approaching bikes made them all scatter before we could get anywhere close. Glad I spotted some others earlier today. Another 100k and we arrived at the well marked Panda Rest Camp. I hear there are lions around since when there are zebras and bucks (we saw a large herd of them which scattered quickly upon our approach) there be lions. 🦁 I feel a slow start to seeing game has accelerated nicely. I would be just fine not to encounter a lion while basically defenseless on my bike. There is no real plan to deal with a lion encounter. I've been told whatever I do, don't run. It is silly to expect to see game animals on the bikes since we are so loud and traveling on major or at least well traveled roads. But since we've seen giraffes, baboons, bucks, zebras, warthogs, kudus, tons of birds and now elephants just along the road we aren't doing too badly. We found our lodging, once again a series of thatch roofed bungalows and unloaded our bags. The SA guys had 140 liter duffels made for the trip embroidered with our names. I needed just about every last liter in which to cram my two bags each day but what a nice convenience it to have to lug your own gear on the bike. I promptly found and utilized the swimming pool. As per usual in my riding shirt, neck bandana, underwear and cap. All soaking in the pool and all the pools here have been nice and chilly. Greatly appreciated after a sweaty, hot ride. We gathered for some refreshments by the pool and placed our dinner orders. I got a pepperoni pizza and a 🥗. First one since I arrived and it was good. In fact a few folks stopped by this test camp and picked up pizzas to go. No Domino's around here. 🍕Went to the bungalow to burn the mosquito coil. Sort of like a flat spiral shaped incense that dissuades and possibly kills mosquitoes. No mosquito netting over the beds here (first time in maybe 4 or 5 days) so trying to make the inside of the bungalow a bit safer from them. I'm once again alone out here as all have been to bed for at least 40 minutes or so. A bit embarrassed to say it is still only 10:30 but we went hard last night and I'm ready to get a good nights sleep. 😴Baz' word of the day is slapgat. Pronounced slap-chat with a guttural German ch, as in achtung. It means someone who is useless and also a lazy slob.