#but anyway. HER. absolutely iconic i love her lines.

[elizabeth-mitchells]

WELL!! time to get started on the bly manor rewatch then!!

[youremyheaven]

Saturnian Women: Bad Girls to Trad Girls? 👀😲👩‍🏫

Saturn is the planet of discipline, restriction and rules. Saturn is considered a "strict teacher" who uses discipline, difficulties, delay, duties, dealings, and denials at times to ensure that the student really imbibes their lessons.

There has been much discourse lately on Saturn mahadashas and tbh, I would say to not worry about it too much. Saturn punishes but it also rewards, so if you stay true to its teachings, i.e, keep your head down, do the work and stay firm but humble, Saturn will give you success in proportion to your efforts.

Jennie, Vishaka Moon, finished her 19yr Saturn mahadasha in 2019 and you can clearly see the many themes of Saturn that played out in her life. She spent 5yr living overseas by herself as a child with another family (Saturn deprives you, to some extent, of your family's love and support) and after she moved back to Seoul, she began living at the YG dorm and trained for 5 years and 11 months, which is one of the longest training periods among popular idols today. She has talked about how she's never lived at home or had the experience of living with her family until she was 18-19 and she's always sounded bittersweet about it but all her hard work paid off. Today she's the face of K-pop, one of the most successful idols of all time, an icon and an it girl. She gets torrential amounts of hate over her "attitude" for the supposed partiality that YG had towards her and yes for being "lazy". This is Saturn's harsh energies coming through. Are Jennie's performances lacking from time to time? Yes but is she the only idol whose performances feel meh/"lazy"? No. Is she the only one who gets brutally called out for it? Largely, yes. Saturn does not allow you to get away with your skimping and most definitely does not let you take shortcuts.

The reason most people suffer during this mahadasha is because its human nature to want instant gratification and choose the "easier" option. But yk who does not like that? SATURN. This planet is all about being principled and doing things the "right way". You cannot do something immoral and expect to get away with it during this mahadasha but another thing about Saturn's influence is that it often makes natives deliberately "rebel" or step out of line because they internally crave punishment and want to be disciplined. Think of Saturn like the dom in a BDSM relationship and yourself as the bratty sub who's always asking to be punished. Its kinda like that. I've noticed this with many Saturnians as well as people experiencing Saturn dashas, they have no intention of being "bad" or doing the "wrong things" but they do anyway?? because they want Saturn to discipline them and put them in their place. Often times these natives choose the "harder" path subconsciously by forgoing many chances to choose from other options. They really want to prove themselves "worthy" and "deserving", sometimes to their own detriment.

Karina from Aespa, Punarvasu Moon is also currently undergoing her Saturn mahadasha and so is Wonyoung, Purvabhadrapada Moon (they'll both finish their Saturn mahadashas at around the same ish period of 2031-2032). They're both incredibly successful so if you're experiencing this dasha, dw about Saturn depriving you of success bc its not true. You just have to work hard.

Wonyoung started training at 12yrs of age when she was a few years into her Saturn MD and Karina also started training during her Saturn MD (she was 16 tho). They both spent yearsss training and became massively popular upon their debut (Saturn rewarding hard work) but often got unwarranted hate for absolutely nothing because Saturn "punishes" you to keep you humble in the face of massive success. With Wonyoung, I feel like her Magha Sun (leo rashi) works in her detriment in this dasha because she can be very self indulgent, come across as pompous or bratty or arrogant and Saturn does not like those things 😬with Karina, she received hate initially but things were cleared up and it was understood that those rumours of her being a highschool bully were fabricated along with those fake screenshots and some of her old classmates spoke up about her virtuous character and how kind and sweet she actually was. This is again, Saturn's karma coming thru. Good karma will help you out of tough places in life. Karina has kept her head down and worked hard, people criticized her initially for being a bad dancer but now she's known for her stage presence and x factor.

She's now known for her kind, humble and goofy personality because that is who she really is. Saturn rewards those who remain down to earth and humble and all the love Karina receives now (she is the most followed 4th gen female kpop idol surpassing Wonyoung in less than a year) is part of Saturn's rewards. However, she still faces challenges, like with her dating scandal or with her Chinese boycott last year but again, its her willingness to stay focused and power through that has helped her navigate those situations with grace. She hasn't been dragged the way Jennie or Wonyoung has been. I also think her having Mercury & Venus in UBP (a Saturn ruled nak) has helped her embrace Saturnian principles easier than the other two but she also does have a debilitated Saturn so ://

I think Jennie has had it especially tough because she's Uttarashada Sun and Sun & Saturn are enemies so she's struggled to be as grounded and docile as Saturn wants its natives to be.

If you think about it, there is a reason why all the Kpop it girls have Jupiter ruled Moon and experience Saturn mahadasha at the height of their fame. For starters, the Korean music industry is very "restrictive" in nature and idols are very tightly monitored and controlled (all Saturnian themes) and those who thrive the most in this system are Jupitereans who are undergoing their Saturn MD. They learn to channel the expansiveness of Jupiter through the restrictions of Saturn. Think about how Jennie, Wonyoung and Karina have all been deprived of creative freedom, how their labels pick and choose their endorsements and limit their interactions and in general, despite being young, rich and famous, they live like blue collar workers in some ways?? This is all Saturn's effects. It makes you work hard, rewards you for it but does not let you indulge too much in it.

There is a reason why Jupiter moon is soooo common among popstars. Performing in front of packed stadiums with 50,000 fans is an experience only few get to have in this world and to get that, you have to toil day and night through punishing schedules and constant travel where you dont enjoy yourself materially. This is a very blatant manifestation of Saturn restricting pleasure and enjoyment. (Jupiter ruled Moon natives experience Jupiter dashas first and then its followed by Saturn mahadasha, so usually at their peak, they're undergoing their Saturn MD)

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Now, I want to mention something Claire Nakti mentioned in her Saturn men video, she said that Saturnian men are often extremely rebellious when they're younger and deliberately "act out" because they crave the punishment and discipline that Saturn imposes on them. They subconsciously want to be put in their place. This sounds hella masochistic but I think its helpful to think of it in terms of BDSM dynamics (dont laugh lmao). To an average person, its confusing as to why someone would want to be spanked or tied up or hurt or be in "pain" or be submissive but some people genuinely derive pleasure from being in that position, that's what's fun for them. They "ask for punishment" bc they enjoy being "punished". I dont want to say Saturnian individuals are kinky masochists who deliberately do things that will lead to terrible consequences and harsh punishment but tbh, there is no other explanation for their behaviour. I suggest watching Claire's video where she cites manyyy examples of Saturnian men "acting out".

In Claire Nakti's video about Saturnian women, she mentions how these women are more at ease with following traditions and submitting to them than others because they find it 'freeing' to obey.

But tbh, although women internalise their qualities more in general, I think Saturnian women are just as likely to have an "unruly/rebellious phase" before they embrace the rule abiding nature of Saturn because the truth is limitations are what gives us true freedom. Saturn teaches us that if you have "too much", you can feel confused and lost. it's more important to have "enough".

Hwasa, Pushya Sun

Hwasa is a great example of Saturnian natives and their need to both rebel and conform. Hwasa belongs to the group Mamamoo and although they're all talented, they weren't as successful as other Kpop groups in the mid to late 2010s, esp since they also came from a smaller company. In 2018 at the MAMA awards, she performed in this red latex bodysuit and went instantly viral and her performance became vvv controversial since its practically unheard of for a kpop idol to reveal this much skin or put on a performance that is very sexually provocative. she received a LOT of flak for it, people bodyshamed her, slut shamed her etc but this also brought a lot of attention to her and her group and people started taking more notice of them.

Hwasa was on the cover of Cosmopolitan later that year (you have to be a pretty big deal to land mag covers in Korea esp when you have sooo much competition from sooo many idols/actors etc, Hwasa was up until then just an idol from a smaller company whom others often criticized for not being "pretty enough").

Hwasa continued to "rebel" by posing semi nude, appearing on the cover in what Koreans considered "immodest" clothing etc. But some of the criticism subsided bc as more and more people discovered her music, her talent as a singer and performer stood out so they started praising her for her talent & hard work (Saturn rewarding hard work).

she continued to receive a lot of flak for her outfit choices and Hwasa it seemed was almost hell bent on pissing Koreans off by doing exactly those things that they shunned. She was criticized for this look as her bra is visible through a sheer top and what did she do next?

she went to the airport in a white top and no bra 😂😂needless to say K-netizens were PISSED OFF. but at the same time she started making appearances on variety shows where she gained praise for her humility and lack of pretence. (Saturn punishes but rewards)

this is an excerpt from her 2020 interview with Cosmo (the Cosmo cover above is from her 2019 cover), here we can see Hwasa admitting that "one year ago I was more daring because I felt like I had to be that way no matter what" which reflects on how many Saturnians are rebels without a cause. She then says that "As I go on, I feel like I'm being more strict with myself" showing the progression from the rebellious, unruly phase to one that embraces strictness and discipline. This does not mean becoming a doormat, it means you become more gentle and patient. Its through suffering (which Saturn def brings about) that we learn grace.

I think Hwasa has described it well.

Saturn is considered the most aggressive and cruel in Indian astrology. It symbolizes karma and rewards or punishes based on one's deeds.

Selena Gomez, Pushya Stellium (including Sun & Rising)

When her Revival album came out in 2015, Selena was 23 and trying her best to shed her Disney girl image. So she did what most child star turned popstars do, she posed nude. This was very out of character for a girl who wore a purity ring until she was 18 years old and was generally perceived as the "sweet innocent" one among all Disney stars.

During a roundtable interview in 2022, she said

"I actually did an album cover and I was really ashamed after I did it," Gomez said. "I had to work through those feelings because I realized it was attached to something deeper that was going on. And it was a choice that I wasn't necessarily happy that I made, but I think that I've done my best, at least I try to be myself. And I'm not an overly sexual person, sometimes I like to feel sexy, but that doesn't mean it's for somebody else. It can be for me. Now I understand that there are certain boundaries that I need to set for myself, and I respect and adore so many people, but I’ve got to do what’s best for me."

Obviously the need to "rebel" against her Disney sweetheart image was imbedded in her by the people who work with her, like her management team but Saturn's most powerful tool is regret. You do things without much thought or act out or act rebelliously and through regret or after suffering its consequences, you learn to draw boundaries and impose limitations upon yourself. Just because you can do certain things does not mean you should do them. Saturn teaches us this by limiting freedom.

Miley Cyrus, Anuradha Sun & Mercury

We cannot talk about Disney stars gone wild without mentioning Miley lol

She was the biggest Disney girl of her time and worked vvv hard, doing world tours starting from her early teens and then filming the show, girlie basically never had a minute to spare. Once the show was up, she was in a hurry to shed her Disney image and lets just say... she embodied Saturnian rebelliousness to its extreme.

Miley lost her virginity to Liam when she was 16 and by the time she was 19, she was engaged to get married to the only guy she ever seriously dated. She definitely was embracing "tradition" etc so her "rebel" era was a sharp left turn. She went from being a teen bride to twerking in nude latex on stage. For the next couple of years, Miley smoked weed, embraced a hip-hop sound, wore little clothing and "rebelled". Her rebel era marked the end of her relationship with Liam and interestingly enough, the end of her rebel era was marked by her renewed relationship with Liam.

She entered her soft girl era and started to shed her "rebellious image" and found balance

“I carried some guilt and shame around myself for years because of how much controversy and upset I really caused,” she says. “Now that I’m an adult, I realise how harshly I was judged. I was harshly judged as a child by adults and now, as an adult, I realise that I would never harshly judge a child.”- Miley said in her British Vogue interview

Miranda Kerr, Pushya Rising

If you watch her interviews from the late 2000s and early 2010s, she's super flirty and now she's more mature and ladylike which is kind of a superficial evolution of Saturnian influence.

Miranda is rumoured to have been the world's most expensive yacht girl at one point in time. She accepted $8.1 million worth of jewellery from fraud Malaysian billionaire Jho Low. All these gifts were seized by the government later on bc Saturn does not let you keep things you obtained illegally or in unprincipled ways.

In 2014 during an interview for British GQ (these pics are from the shoot) Miranda said:

"The older I get, the more confident I am about asking for things I enjoy," she said. "One thing I've noticed is now that I'm having less sex my body isn't as toned. The more sex I have, the more defined my arms and stomach get. Orlando and I always had great chemistry. One-night stands aren't my thing. I made Orlando wait for six months until I even kissed him… I always ask for a critique on my performance. I always want to better myself in every way."

She also said,

"Let's put it this way, I've had an orgasm in the air before. Alone. And together." 😲😲

This is sooo remarkably TMI for a woman who now presents herself as so poised and ladylike??

After she started dating her now husband Evan Spiegel, CEO of Snapchat, they remained celibate for the 2years they dated prior to marriage and Miranda said they're "very traditional".

Interviews of Miranda now make her sound like one of those femininity coaches on YouTube.

"My grandma taught me that men are visual and you need to make a little effort," the model said in an interview with The Edit. "So when [Evan] comes home, I make sure to have a nice dress on and the candles lit. We make time to have a nice dinner together. At work, I'm like, 'We need to do this!' and, 'This needs to happen!' But at home, I slip into my feminine and empower Evan to be in his masculine."

In another interview, she said:

"Don't feel like you have to do and be everything. Let the man do some things for you, because if he cares for you, he will want to. When I get home, I'm not the boss like I am at work — I slip into a more feminine role. I take everything off and put on my Stella McCartney silk robe. I'll put on a red lip or red nails, and it lifts my mood. Sexy underwear also gives you a spark. I collect underwear from my travels. Lace, lingerie, bodysuits ... they're like souvenirs."

And in yet another interview, she said:

"He would rather me hug him than give him foot massages. He's like, 'Can you just come and cuddle up? Can we just snuggle? I don't need a foot massage.' I'm like, 'Come on, it's good for you!' … He's very loving like that. I'm a very lucky girl."

She went from being a "rebel" to living like a trad wife.

Eva Mendes, Pushya Moon

She's yet another Saturnian who had a rebellious early career ("rebellious" for a woman basically means capitalizing on your sex appeal) and then embraced a more "traditional" life.

In 2020, she said:

"You can’t do sweatpants,” she said on Extra while promoting her makeup line, Circa. “Ladies, number one cause of divorce in America, sweatpants, no!” 

This is again an example of a "femininity" minded person who thinks women have to "ladylike" (Saturn embracing traditional gender roles).

She took a 10yr break from acting to focus on being a mother and said that if she returns to acting she wont do "violence" or "sexuality" which she did do prior to her marriage and motherhood. She also got married later in life and had this to say:

“When I was 40, it was a big deal for people when I was pregnant, and it wasn’t for me,” Mendes said. “And then I was 42 and I was pregnant with my second one and people were like, ‘Oh my God, you’re going to be so tired. That’s why people have kids in their 20s.’ I was like, that’s the most sorry, asinine thing I’ve ever heard.”

She continued, explaining of parenting, “It takes more patience. In my 20s, I shouldn’t have even been around a child. I was just foul-mouthed and smoking. I could not have raised kids in any other era of my life but now, for sure.”

She's indirectly referring to a more "rebellious" phase of her life and how now she has the patience to be a mom. one thing Saturn teaches you is patience, thats for sureee.

Saturn influence also causes delayed marriage.

Madhuri Dixit, Pushya Moon was 32 years old when she got married (in 90s India this was ancient and not as "normal" as it is now).

Salma Hayek, UBP Moon

there isn't enough dirt on Salma to show that she had some "bad girl" past to move beyond but she struggled for many many years. her life really exemplifies the delayed success of Saturn bc saturn truly rewards patience

Rani Mukerji, UBP Moon

She got married when she was 36yrs old and is married to one of the biggest film producers in India.

The themes of Saturn delaying marriage but ultimately pointing to marrying into wealth has been true in the lives of many of these women, including Salma who is married to a billionaire.

Ellen Pompeo- Anuradha Moon

She was 38 when she got married. Another thing I've noticed with many Saturnian women is how they struggle to conceive or have issues with their fertility (usually caused by the delay in marriage as they're older when they become mothers).

Salma has talked about how she struggled with gestational diabetes when she was pregnant and how she wishes she could have had more children. Rani Mukerji has spoken about her struggles with fertility and how she lost her second baby to a miscarriage, 2/3 of Ellen Pompeo's kids were carried by a surrogate.

Monica Bellucci, Pushya Moon

She was 35 when she married Vincent Cassel and had her daughters in her 40s.

Hillary Swank, Pushya Sun

She was 44 when she married her current husband. (She did get married at 23 and was married for 10yrs , which means they separated after her Saturn return)

Jennifer Lopez, Pushya stellium

She married Ben Affleck when she was 53

She was 35 when she married Marc Anthony with whom she has 2 kids and was married to for a decade. All her other marriages were brief and short lived, pointing to how Saturn makes you get rid of anything that isn't "right" for you

Usually whenever Saturnians get married young, they end up getting a divorce. This is a massive generalization and obvs wont apply to every Saturnian but I've seen this with many people, even Miranda Kerr who married Orlando Bloom in her 20s ended up getting divorced after her Saturn return.

Sophie Turner, UBP Moon

Sophie started dating Joe when she was 19 and married him when she was 21 and he was 28. According to rumours she felt really trapped in the marriage and felt like she hadn't experienced much life. She went from being on a TV show for 10yrs and missing out on normal teen experiences to being a wife and a mom. Many have accused Joe of grooming her as well. They've ended up getting a bitter divorce as well.

Mariah Carey, UBP Sun

She was 23 when she married the CEO of her label who was 20yrs older than her. He had known her since she was a teenager 🤮🤢🤢Mariah has, like Sophie described feeling "trapped" in her marriage and how she had "no freedom". Tommy is famously controlling and kept her under lock and key pretty much. He is now married to Mexican pop star Thalia who was once a huge name in Latin music and is now virtually absent from public life. So his tendency to keep his wives locked up wasn't limited to Mariah, I guess.

Mariah divorced Tommy when she was 29 during her Saturn return as well and he made her life hell for the next few years (do not marry and divorce your CEO kids)

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All throughout this post I made mentions of how Saturnians "rebel" and then "embrace tradition" but what is "traditional" isn't always "right". These two things aren't synonymous. Hwasa went against tradition by dressing sexy. Would that be considered scandalous in say, America? No. She went against the tradition of her culture. But it did not make her actions "wrong".

But sometimes this tendency to obey traditions can manifest in more extreme ways and make someone have very right wing esque or conservative views, even.

JK Rowling, Pushya Sun, Saturn in 1h (in Purva bhadrapada)

Rowling was once a beloved author who was known for her highly inspirational rags to riches journey. She became the first writer to become a billionaire. But now, she's known as a transphobe and many of her former friends and allies have distanced themselves from her. Its crazy bc she almost exclusively tweets about trans people and has made it her life's mission to talk about who is a "real" woman and who isn't (Saturn's desire to conform to traditional gender roles) but her transphobic era seems to be her rebellious Saturn phase where she is seeking punishment. It literally makes no sense as to why out of the blue one day she started to tweet and say these things and why she's sooo insistent on her views but its like she's digging her own grave.

Saturnians often do bizarre things that seem like obviously bad ideas to others and suffer terrible consequences for it because they crave Saturn's harshness. She could've never written another book after Harry Potter, fucked off into oblivion with all her money and farmed strawberries for the rest of her life with her legacy intact but Saturn has stripped her of it. I wont be surprised if in another 10yrs or something, she comes forward to talk about how embarrassed and ashamed she is of whatever she's doing now as this is also a pattern among Saturnians to feel guilt and remorse for their past and apologize for it.

Oprah Winfrey- Anuradha Moon

Oprah hasn't been fully exposed and cancelled yet but I hope she gets what Ellen got because she's such a vile, toxic hateful person.

Oprah has a long history of platforming some incredibly toxic people, leading to a lot of pain and suffering. The relevant one right now is Dr. Oz who used his Oprah-given influence to sell scam miracle cures and other supplements.

Worse (in my opinion) is Dr. Phil, who has used his Oprah-provided stage to send children to “reform schools” in exchange for kickbacks. Many (included the infamous catch me outside girl) have claimed that these institutions are hot beds of physical and sexual abuse. There are also allegations that Dr. Phil actively aims to make guests on his show appear less well adjusted so that he can yell at them. Famously, a winner of the show survivor who was struggling with alcoholism claimed that Dr. Phil’s staff gave him a bottle of vodka to drink before the show so that he would be drunk and look like shit to justify Dr. Phil berating him.

Oprah also dedicated two shows to a man known as John of God, heavily implying that he may actually be able to heal sickness through faith in God. He was, obviously, a grifter who would perform dangerous surgical procedures (and would cut people’s eyes with sharp objects) on people without a license. He was also a serial rapist, and several women have claimed they traveled across the world to meet John of God due to Oprah’s show only to be raped.

This example is more fitting of the traits I explored in part 1 of my Saturn dominance post where I talked about how many Saturnians seem to be scammers and liars.

Grimes, UBP Sun

for an edgy alternative indie artist, Grimes has surprisngly trad views

In one interview, she said:

"I kind of like the patriarchy, I like the supply chain, food, Uber, roads... umm, civilization, you know there's a lot of good things that came from it. I think it's sort of oppressive and overly dominant, and if you don't include women in things they can easily become toxic, you know."

she was married to elon musk so im not too surprised that her worldviews are...weird... (she likes the patriarchy bc it gave her uber,,, gotcha...lol)

Sometimes honestly, esp in today's world where everybody has more social freedom esp in America and can do whatever they want, a lot of people "rebel" by embracing tradition. Grimes is actually deploying Saturn's need to rebel against the order by peddling her faux trad views.

The current tradfem movement (that I predicted 2 years ago😌) is a reflection of how each generation rebels differently. You give someone a lot of freedom and they do whatever they want with it but soon enough fatigue sets in and you desperately crave structure and order, so you discipline yourself and restrict yourself. in an era where dating has become so toxic and loveless, a section of society embraces a 1950s type tradwife lifestyle to go against the norm.

there will be a part 3 that expands on Saturn's manifestations further but this is it for this post<333 tysm for reading<33

[hotvintagepoll]

Propaganda

Hermione Baddeley (Brighton Rock, Passport to Pimlico, Mary Poppins)— An absolute mainstay of British films from this period. She’s an icon who never takes shit from anyone in any of her movies, dresses for the occasion, and has the best line delivery! Also she started out in silent movies, and was a close friend of Noel Coward. In a desperate attempt to appeal to a large tumblr fandom, I will also point out that her first husband and one of her children were both called David Tennant. You like that name, don’t you tumblr??

Glynis Johns (Mary Poppins, The Court Jester)—LISTEN, I'd let that woman's voice with all its gravely hoarseness (positive) wash over me all goddamn day, but if that's not enough she managed to play the straight woman to Danny Kaye's jester, all with her cleavage so plunging it might as well have been catapulted into the ocean right after Basil Rathbone

This is round 1 of the bracket. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage woman.

[additional propaganda submitted under the cut.]

Glynis Johns propaganda:

She walks the line between sexy and cute. Her best role for me is in "The Court Jester as Maid Jean. She's fantastic as the soft but tough captain of the outlaw band and she looks stunning in every gown she wears throughout the film. And of course we can't forget her iconic turn as the suffragette mother, Mrs. Banks, in Mary Poppins! Also shoutout to her distinctive and beautiful voice, kind of smoky and husky. Extremely hot and set her apart from many of her peers."

"Listen, listen. I was raised on Mary Poppins and "Votes for women! (step in time)" single-handedly taught me how to be a feminist. Also The Court Jester is one of my favourite movies of all time and she is UNBELIEVABLY gorgeous, charismatic, funny, and clever in it. She knocks several men out. Absolute icon."

"Like Bette Davis she has eyes to die for. Unlike Bette Davis you felt comforted by them, even when she was batting her eyelashes at you. Would glady go to Downing Street with her and throw things at the Prime minister"

"She had this wonderful wit and charm to her no matter the role and the most distinctive, striking voice!"

"She was amazing in Mary Poppins (the Suffragette song is severely underrated) and apparently she was Welsh? National pride! And she advocated for arts funding in Wales, which is very cool. Also, she died recently (RIP) making her one of the last survivors of the Golden Age of Hollywood, according to Wikipedia. Also also, she just has a cheeky energy I like? And her eyes are beautiful!"

"I mean, incredibly beautiful and talented, can do drama can do comedy. And she was a mermaid."

"I love Glynis Johns. Most of the reason is The Court Jester where she's a sensible and capable foil to whatever what going on with Danny Kaye at the time. She was also the first star I based an OC on. An OC that I still have to this day! Anyway here have some YouTube links love u bye"

Mermaid clip: https://www.youtube.com/shorts/1jUEA03mYTk

Court Jester (sharing a bed trope): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5d_qG9i054U

Court Jester (seducing the king): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C-GuqFYElKg

"VOTES FOR WOMEN! Well, votes for this woman. Please."

Hermione Baddeley propaganda:

Propaganda for both Hermione and Glynis:

[dr-spectre]

Rating all of Callie's Outfits!!!

I'm bored so i decided to go through most of Callie's different looks, including most from concept art and promotional material, and rate them all on a scale of 1-10.

1 = trash

2 = very bad

3 = bad

4 = below average

5 = mixed

6 = decent

7 = good

8 = great

9 = amazing

10 = perfect

Now I'm not an expert on character design or fashion so i may not have the most insightful and """"objective"""" takes or whatever, but I'm just going off how i feel about the looks. This is very subjective and if you disagree then that's perfectly fine. I also won't be including EVERY SINGLE outfit in every piece of concept art, some of it are just variants of pre existing outfits (Haicalive Kyoto Mix golden outfit, concept art of her squid sisters outfit but with a different pattern) and some are just concepts for the Squid Sisters in general and not "Callie outfits." (Splatoon 1 has a lot of these and uh... they are quite interesting... recommend looking at it on Inkipedia. Very.... interesting indeed.)

Anyways, let's get into it. (Images from Inkipedia)

Splatoon 1 - Squid Sisters Outfit

Rating: 10/10

I think there's a clear reason as to why this outfit is so damn iconic. It's simple yet effective, it stands apart from Marie's outfit while still maintaining the theme of a "j-pop idol." It has a very strong silhouette, eye catching magentas that are complemented by the blue reflective parts on the outfit, and those pumpkin pants fit Callie's personality so insanely well. She looks absolutely adorable and stunning in that outfit.

Splatoon 1 - Young Callie

Rating: 10/10

Do i even need to say anything? LOOK AT HER! SHES SO CUTEEEEE!!!!!! UGHHHHHHHHAAAAAAA!!!!!! IM GONNA FUCKING EXPLODE FROM THE SHEER AMOUNT OF CUTENESS I'M SEEING!!! LOOK AT HER LITTLE KIMONO! AHHHHHH!!!!!

Splatoon 1 - Red Fox Splatfest

Rating 8/10

It's Callie wearing a Christmas hat and a nice red dress. What's not to love?

Splatoon 1 - Fancy Dress

Rating: 9/10

I literally cannot think of a single flaw or dislike about this dress. Maybe the dress is a bit simple? But that's me REALLY pushing it. It's still so fucking beautiful. SHE IS SO BEAUTIFUL! I NEEEEDDD a 3D model of this ASAP!

Splatoon 1 - Concept Art 1

Rating: 7/10

I mean, it's pretty good but it's not outstanding you know? Love the heels, the fabric at the back of her waist on the first image, the batwing like skirt on the second one. It definitely has a unique vibe to it I'll give it that. There's a decent amount of good things here, however i don't know how to feel about THAT short of a skirt on Callie. She was 17 at the beginning of Splatoon 1 and some of the dance moves she does involve moving her legs a lot so.... it would have... you know.... issues.... yeahhhh.... I would love to see this outfit get adapted but with some tweaks like maybe a slightly longer skirt, maybe higher heels and leggings that go up more her legs? Maybe her arm wraps on the left image could get rid of the dots and keep the squid head pattern? It's a pretty good outfit and has a unique feel to it, but it needs some tweaks.

Splatoon 1 - Concept Art 2

Rating 6/10

The roller skates are actually such an amazing idea for Callie and work well for her, they need to appear on a 3d model, I WANNA SEE CALLIE SKATING AROUND! COME ON! Anyways, this outfit is kinda... okay. The black and pink variant looks the best out of the three in my opinion but idk man, it's kind of just a regular cheerleading outfit. The roller skates give this like 6 points alone lmao.

Splatoon 1 - Concept Art 3

Rating: 8/10

This outfit with a few minor tweaks could easily become a 10/10 to be honest. If they either went fully black and white, or changed the white lines on the dress and shoulders to magenta it would look outstanding! Love the flashy sneakers too, it gives the impression that Callie can be both elegant and energetic, which, she is. Also if she had a more fancy piece of headgear that matched the fancy looking dress it would help as well.

Splatoon 2 - Hypno / Octo Callie

Rating: 8/10

I'm gonna be honest with y'all, i used to not like this outfit for Callie. People saw this outfit and said it was fire and amazing, however when i saw it, i saw all the misconceptions, all the misinformation, ruining such an interesting arc, boiling it down to "Callie was kidnapped, overpowered and then brainwashed with evil brain warping shades, being used by the Octarians as some slave and being branded with a tattoo." This outfit made me feel icky and really uncomfortable. Seeing a character i love being boiled down to some abused helpless victim when it's far from what truly happened.

However, after giving another look at it, after taking in all the information and the amount of time i spent trying to piece together her arc and all the events that actually took place beforehand. I gotta say, this outfit is growing a place in my heart. The colors are so strong in this and i can't exactly put my finger as to why. Turning the 3 cut pattern on it's side and putting it on her chest makes her look more "mature" i would say as well. And of course, the shades, they are iconic for a reason. The way the outfit sort of flows from top to bottom is really well done. But I think it kinda needs a few tweaks to make it flow better though, maybe cover up her arms with that leathery material on her chest, make that sparkly material on her legs flow up onto her midriff instead of having an exposed tummy would be kinda sick in my opinion.

It's honestly a damn great interpretation of an "Evil Callie." In the artbook they said that they wanted to make Callie more mature looking and i think they did a good job at it, but it needs some things added to it to help it flow better in my opinion. Also... Don't know how to feel about her underwear just poking out of her hips.... Like damn girl PULL UP DEM SHORTS!

Splatoon 2 - Tentakeel Outpost / Agent 1 Outfit

Rating 7/10

This outfit is just really cute and comfy looking, which makes sense because it's meant to be Callie in a more causal getup and it looks really adorable and warm. It has had a variant in Splatoon 1 where she has pink leggings and a sleeveless design but it has the same rating from me to be honest. The little star on the beanie too is awesome too, it's just such a nice little thing they added and it complements her lovely golden eyes.... so cute.... uh... moving on...

Splatoon 2 - Concept Art 1

Rating: 6/10

This one is kinda tricky for me to rate because i see what they were going for but... I think it needs some tweaks and a few changes. I think it would be cool to see the glowing pinkish red leggings go all over her body like a skin tight suit up to her shoulders and it would look pretty damn sick i feel. I love the long gloves, the heels, the color scheme is very interesting as well. Overall, it's decent but i think it needs some improvements.

Splatoon 2 - Concept Art 2

Rating: 8/10

I can totally imagine Callie chilling out in the beach bases in Octo Canyon with this on. I like how the boots and the bikini match her hair too in color. The fuzzy pink coat is so damn sick too, i love it.

Splatoon 2 - Concept Art 3

Rating: 2/10

No... Just straight up, no. You're already giving some people weird and icky implications with the final Hypno Callie design, but this just.... no man.... HOWEVER! The swirly eyes? Good addition, a little generic for a character under hypnosis but i wish they kept the swirly eyes. It would have furthered pushed the idea that Callie is not herself and has descended into villainy and given into the darkness in her head. But at least we got mods! (Look at frequent.squidsisters on instagram to see what i'm talking about. You won't regret it.)

Splatoon 2 - Concept Art 4

Rating: 6/10 (sorry for the low quality image i couldn't find a good image of this outfit anywhere)

Just like concept art 1, it's alright, it doesn't help that there isn't a clear enough image of this outfit but, i do love the transparent fabric on her dress? skirt? idk. But it looks nice. Still though the outfit looks a little plain for someone like Callie however it's got a nice color palette.

Splatoon 2 - 1st Anniversary

Rating: 10/10

I don't care what you say, i am the number 1 defender of this outfit, the fucking goofy socks, the blues and reds on her leggings and... bra? Leotard? Is she wearing a leotard under that? (I don't know anything on women's clothing I'm so sorry please don't hurt me....) Her pink lipstick, the necklace, IT'S SO DAMN GOOD! I NEED MORE OF THIS OUTFIT! NOW! I WANT A 3D MODEL TOO! GIVE IT TO ME! NOW!

Also this is the first time Callie has had one of her tentacles in front of her face which comes back later in the next game....

Splatoon 2 - Smash Bros. Splatfest

Rating: 7/10

She do be rocking dem shoes tho i gotta admit. It's good. i don't have much to say. The Smash Bros. earrings fucking rule as well, that's worth 6 points alone.

Splatoon 2 - Squidmas 2019

Rating: 5/10

Eh. It's okay, not really the most "Squidmas" thing you can wear but. The artwork is cute at least. The gang just chilling out, taking a picture, very cute.

Splatoon 2 - Splatoween 2020

Rating: 10/10

The fact that we never got a 3D model of this outfit is a fucking crime in it of itself. The headwear, the web like design on her neck and head, the lipstick, the fingertips, the gothic dress.... those... red eyes.....

She looks so damn hot, I'm sorry but this look is doing things to me that my lawyers are advising me NOT to elaborate on....

Splatoon 2 - Final Fest

Rating 7/10

I decided to break my rule on not covering variants because i really wanted to talk about this look, the gold colors used on this outfit are so damn good and i really cannot describe exactly why, Pearl's crown is such a lovely addition too, i fucking adore it. I can't give this anything higher than a 7 because its just a recolour and a crown and thats it... I really do wish they gave Callie a more unique "chaotic" look to her iconic outfit to match the theme better, but oh well. There's always next time.... which we will get to...

Splatoon 3 - Alterna Outfit

Rating: 10/10

When i tell you that this is my favorite Callie look, ever, do NOT take that lightly.

This outfit, in my personal opinion, is perfection. It combines all the different aspects of Callie's previous major designs into one perfect package. It takes the general shape and silhouette of Splatoon 1 Callie and mixes it with Hypno Callie's leathery and mature appearance, giving us an outfit that shows Callie's class and excitable nature. It's a mature and refined outfit, much like how Callie is in Splatoon 3.

I mean it's hard to fuck up an outfit that's mainly in black and white and thankfully they didn't. The ONLY thing i can somewhat see criticism for is the color choice, but thankfully, we got mods to give her the magenta back and it looks beautiful. I LOVE the silver aspects of the outfit too like the soles of the boots, the silver bandolier across her shoulder and the silver choker. And i like an outfit that has a choker... It does things to me... UM! ANYWAYS! YEAH PERFECT OUTFIT! UH! TOTALLY HAVEN'T TAKEN 100s OF PHOTOS OF HER... YEP! MHM.......

Splatoon 1-3 Pokemon Red Outfit

Rating: 6/10

I decided to put this here because this outfit appears in both Splatoon 1 in Splatfest art as well as in one of the Sunken Scrolls in Splatoon 3. It's a pretty cute outfit, i don't have any strong feelings towards it, it looks nice.

Splatoon 3 - Splatoween

Rating: 9/10

I prefer the other Splatoween outfit that appears in Splatoon 2's artwork but, this is still fucking awesome. She looks like a cute little pumpkin! SHES SO CUTE! The fucking red eyes too oh my GODDDDD!!!! The stitching face paint too!?! Oh man. My ONLY criticism is that the headpiece is too plain. If it was a Jack-o'-lantern or skull or something, it would easily get a 10/10 for sure. But overall, Callie looks like a cute little pumpkin and i wanna eat her up!..............

....not... not in that way tho get your mind out of the gutter-

Splatoon 3 - FrostyFest

Rating: 8/10

A damn great outfit for Callie that makes her look all nice and snuggly. She reminds me a lot of coffee for some reason and just by looking at her I'm craving for a nice cup of coffee. Also the best part of this outfit is that HER NOSE IS RED BECAUSE SHE'S COLD AWWW!! SOMEONE GIVE HER A HOT CHOCOLATE! NOW!

Splatoon 3 - Springfest

Rating: 9/10

This is the most girlypop Callie has ever been. The striped leggings, the eggshell head piece is fucking cute. I don't have any real complaints with this to be honest, maybe its a bit TOO colorful because of the different colored reflections on her body but, that's me REALLY pushing it there. This is such a cute outfit for her. The little face paint too omg....

Splatoon 3 - Summer Nights

Rating: 10/10

You guys know that one image of the monkey staring at the mid section of a woman and it says "neuron activation"? That's literally me. They gave Callie a new outfit that not only looks fantastic with such a great set of colors, shoes, head piece and zippers. But it's also designed to where it makes an outline on the underside of her belly.... nintendo... WHY YOU GOTTA DO THIS TO ME!?!?! I try to be all family friendly and level headed and shit but OH MY GOD! You're activating the primal urges in my body, you're making me go fucking feral with this design. YOU CAN'T JUST DO THIS TO ME! YOU'RE CHEATING! You can't just highlight her fucking fupa with that short dress!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! WHY NINTENDO WHYYY!!!! God I'm not ready for the dances moves where she starts spinning around and bending over- UH....

....Anyways, yeah good outfit, love it. The hair? Idk how to feel yet. That's like the one area that isn't turning me on- I MEAN! THE ONE AREA THAT I MAY OR MAY NOT LIKE! AHAHAHA!!!!!!.....

I'm moving on before my made up lawyers yell at me-

Splatoon 3 - News Anchor Outfit

Rating: 10/10

I mean guys. Come on. What do you want me to say about this outfit? It's Callie in a suit. DO I NEED TO EXPLAIN WHY IT'S SO GOOD?!?! WHY DO YOU THINK EVERY SINGLE SPLATOON ARTIST ON THE PLANET MADE ART OF THIS!??! The only thing that i wanna talk about is, what's below Callie's waist? Is it a pencil skirt or pants? This is important information for me. I'm on teams pants because it makes sense for Callie's energetic personality, all the dresses she's worn have either been real short or loose. I don't think she would wear a real tight skirt that restricts her legs but who knows. NINTENDO YOU BETTER ANSWER THIS OR I SWEAR TO GOD-

Splatoon 3 - Concept Art 1

Rating: 7/10

We don't have a lot to go off when it comes to this concept art as it's pretty undetailed and sketchy looking, but looking at what they were trying to go for and giving Callie a post-apocalyptic look, it looks pretty good. Love the puffy sleeves, the gas mask is pretty awesome and the sort of sporty shorts? tights? Fit Callie as well. Don't have much to say other than that.

Splatoon 3 - Concept Art 2

Rating: 8/10

Now this? This is great. The ragged cape, the pants, the boots, the shirt, the fucking shades! This is an awesome look for her and it makes you wonder what kind of story mode were they originally going for. What kind of plans did they have for ROTM? Was it going to be set in the crater instead of Alterna? Hmm...

I would love to see someone give detail to this and make it a full piece of art to bring out it's full potential.

Splatoon 3 - Grand Festival Outfit.

Rating: 9/10

This outfit to me, is ALMOST perfect. She looks like a pretty princess with that cute dress on. I LOVEEEE her spike headdress, the shoes and the pearlescent hair color. However, i do wish there was just more color on the outfit in general, i get why they decided to go with this look because they wanted to have a color scheme that would unify all of the idols together. But, do wish there was some hints of magenta to break up the dull beige, or her iconic 3 squid stripe design she has on her Squid Sisters outfit, oh well!

So that is it for my ratings of MOST of Callie's different looks that she has had over the past 9 years. Callie is such a fashionable character and has rarely had any BAD outfits aside from one that was in concept art anyways.

Hoped you enjoyed my ratings and ramblings (and mildly horny incriminating talkings...) about this squid lady that i love so... so much... maybe a bit too much.... i need help...

[mommahughes19-23]

UMich Dump

@y/nHughes: Michigan MILF 😘🥵🤑 (dont tell my brothers) Thank you to the umich media team for such a fun season and to everyone else who made my sophomore year so fun especially @Luca.fantilli 👫

Tagged: @Luca.fantilli @edwards.73 @markestapa @dylanduke25 @kayleighdocherty_ @y/bff

Luca.Fantilli : The prettiest MILF I have ever seen 😍

↪ Edwards.73 : Do you want her brothers to murder you🤨

↪ rutgermcgroarty : @edwards.73 I think so

kayleighdocherty_: OMG MY ICON! THANK YOU FOR NOT FORCING ME TO GO TO GAMES ALONE🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

↪ y/nHughes: @kayleighdocherty_ I could never do that to you pookie

lhughes_06 : Wow so I leave and that is when you decide to become a social butterfly smh 🙅🏻

↪ jackhughes : @lhughes_06 are you just going to IGNORE the fact she's called herself a MILF?!?!!??!?!?!?!?!?

↪ _quinnhughes : @lhughes_06 @jackhughes LUKE SHE IS SHOWING THAT MUCH SKIN AND YOU'RE SAD BECAUSE SHE DIDNT PARTY WITH YOU SMH 🤬

↪ y/nHughes : first off @jackhughes and @_quinnhughes BYE let me live my authentic life thanks sm.. and @lhughes_06 sorry buddy guess u were just boring

markestapa : WHY THE FUCK YOU GOTTA DO US LIKE THAT 😱

↪ Edwards.73 : she really had to pick the WORST photo of us 😓

↪ dylanduke25 : the three bestest friends 🫡

↪ y/nHughes : @markestapa @edwards.73 @dylanduke25 as the nominated mom of our group why wouldn't I show off my sons first day of school?!?!?!?! MAY I ALSO REMIND YOU despite my nagging YOU WERE ALL LATE TO CLASS ANYWAY!!! 🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬

A/N: Hi this absolutely sucks because I had sorta a plot line but not really a plot line, I will do much much much better when I start getting requests and have something to go off of ahaha. gorls gotta start somewhere tho ya know. any feedback would be much appreciated and I love you all. xoxoxoxoxo, M

[dana-chan-the-control-brain]

Fnaf Movie thoughts!

I wanted to ramble some of thoughts and theories I had about the Fnaf Movie.

Cause the brainrot is real and won't leave my brain.

(wow just read back that sentence. Excuse any grammar errors or dumb shit, I'm still very sick)

Below the cut will feature heavy spoilers, so unless you want to be spoiled of the major twists this movie has, I would recommend wait to read this.

I unfortunately couldn't see the movie in my theatres, cause I got horribly sick and wasn't able to get the full theatre experience.

I was able to watch on Peacock, with all my fnaf plushies with a super sinus clogged headache, so that's the mindset I had. lol

Anyway.. Movie time

I absolutely LOVED Mike and Abby. First off.

I didn't even mind a lot of time of the movie was spent AWAY from Freddy's. Because so much is just about learning about Mike and his family and connection to Abby.

Sure, we could have spent the WHOLE movie at Freddy's. But that is not what this movie is about. And it's clearly trying to tell a bigger mystery and this felt a very introduction friendly entry point to anyone confused about the fnaf lore.

I love how completely obsessed Mike is with Dream theory. To the point he's taking heavy duty sleeping pills on his job that he clearly doesn't need and just is doing it so he can relive his dreams/fabricated memories.

The intro credits with the 8-bit style graphics of the minigames in fnaf2-4??? Like bro? I cried. That was so iconic and they fill in the backstory for the purple guy, who actually appears as his sprite??? Like... Man iconic.

Also... Dude... Mike Schmitt in the movie is like... what the Fans wanted Mike in the games to be for YEARS. Like... Mike in the games is nothing. He's a silent face. We know so little about him, and everything else is purely speculative. Even the whole "he was foxy bro and has regret over his brother" ...That's all theory and not confirmed. As far as we know, Crying child and his brother might not even be Afton kids.

But this Mike is EXACTLY the motivations we wanted Mike to have? If that makes sense? He laments his brother was taken at a young age and expresses regret and motivation to want to get him back. he has the motivations that the fandom built for him for years and ran with it, and I LOVE THAT.

FNAF Movie actually gives good reasons why Mike comes back every night, as said in Living Tombstone's iconic song "why do you want to stay?" Cause of his regrets with his brother and his obsession with dream theory and doesn't realize the animatronics are a threat until like... night four.

THE ANIMATRONICS?? THE PUPPETS??? THEY LOOK SO GOOD??? HECK YEAH!!!!

I SCREAMED when I recognized Matpat's voice, and then I saw his face. Reconized him for his voice WAY before I saw his face. I didn't think he'd have a speaking or face cameo and get to say his iconic "it's just a theory" line and about food too??? King shit.

Letting the animatronics have moments where they can just be cute and friendly as well as creepy and bloodthirsty is so great! I want to give them all pets.

THE CHILD ACTORS ARE ALL SO GOOD! To the point you don't even notice! It's often hard to get children to play a convincing performance, but these children acted really well! They must have a real talented director who knew how to get the best of their child actors. You don't even realize that the child actors are great, cause they're so good it's unnoticeable. AMAZING

VANESSA BEING WILLIAM AFTON'S DAUGHTER IS NOTHING SHORT OF BRILLIANT!!!!

I MEAN, I SCREAMED WHEN SHE SAID "William Afton My father"

I was screaming about this in my group chat.

I was screaming for a thousand years.

AND IT makes sense why the cops never found the bodies. Vanessa is a cop! She's covering for her father!

I absolutely LOVE what a girl failure Vanessa is too!

Like she shows up, HEAVILY flirts with Mike (like she was laying it on so thick my demisexual ass was picking up on her vibe) and just shows up to give him exposition on the FNAF lore. fheogheahf. Like. It's great.

(no doubt she was flirting heavily with Mike at the start due to manipulation from her father, I do believe it grows to genuine fondness later)

I've heard people complain about her flipflop nature... BUT THAT's the POINT!

(a literal arcade game in security breach.)

She let Abby play with the animatronics, knowing it was dangerous. Her original plan was to kill Mike, but she changes her plans when she sees he has a kid. (who she thought was his daughter at first) It was only after Abby got injured by Accident, she realized that what a danger she posed by brining them here at all. She only threatened to shoot Mike because she hoped that such an extreme threat would get him to quit. She even tells him about how many security guards quit. But it doesn't.

She even said she tried to warn in her own way. She's terrified of her father. And we get deep foreshadowing about that throughout the movie.

I really hope that in some sequels we will get to see Vanny at some point. Maybe even Springtrap and Vanny working together in the same movie??? CAN YOU IMAGINE THIS?!?!? I WOULD GO FERAL

Anyway, Vanessa is such a girl failure and my girl blorbo. I support her and her woman's wrongs

The minor look of regret after Will stabs his daughter... peak cinema.

The springlock scene... The quiet of the stabs, giving such a realistic collapse... the "I always come back" ...Embracing the monster he knows he is. He is the mask. He isn't hiding behind the mask, like he is being Steve. he is the mask now. Just... Chefs kiss.

The animatronics dragging springtrap away mirrors the ending of Silver Eyes so well, and I'm glad, because that was the best part of the Silver eyes. <3

THE LIVING TOMBSTONE GOT TOP BILLING FOR THE FIRST CREDITS SONG! PERFECT

Garret is 100% going to be the Puppet in the Movie Series. He was the one taken in the car, the spelling out in the minigame sounds at the very end says: "COME FIND HIM" And after Living Tombstone ends, the credits music fades into Grandfather's clock music box... Puppet's song..... Garret will be the Puppet in this universe and I so look forward to that.

I enjoyed the movie. I'm glad that they left the overarching mystery of Garret open to be explored in the sequel.

[lesbianpepsi]

Meant To Be Yours

pairing: amber freeman x fem!reader

summary: amber has tricked you into killing one student, you refuse to be tricked again; something amber doesn't like.

words: 2.165k

warnings: canon scream stuff, death, description of murder, knives, violence, blood, swearing, toxic!amber, manipulation, bad writing

authors note: a double whammy tonight for y'all. i have no regrets.

"All is forgiven, baby. I promise I'm not mad about what you said to me." Amber said through the call making your jaw clench as you shake your head, not believing a word that comes out of her pretty mouth.

"Stop calling me, Amber." You told her in the most demanding voice you could muster up, covering it up with your growing fear as your eyes glanced around your living room. "I've not forgiven you so just leave me the fuck alone." 

Amber scoffs through the device. "Why are you saying these things, Y/n? You've practically thrown me out like I'm fucking trash!" Her voice became more gruff as her anger quickly replaced her fake kindness.

"Because you are, Amber, you're fucking trash. You tricked me." You remarked as you ran a hand through your hair, staring intently at the dark corners of the room. 

"Is that what you think? That I tricked you?" Amber asks you in an overly heartbroken tone making you roll your eyes. "You did trick me, Amber, you manipulated me into doing something vile."

"Baby, you know I'd never manipulate you, I love you too much." She says her voice is becoming quieter. 

Tears swelled up in your eyes as you shook your head, your jaw still clenched tightly. "You manipulated me into killing, Wes." You whispered through gritted teeth, your heart beating erratically in your chest. "You said it was going to be a harmless prank to scare him."

"It was harmless." She defended, the sound of her shuffling around being heard on the phone. "Wes was a bitch boy anyway."

You scoffed as you stood up from the couch, your anger towards your girlfriend and the grief and guilt of Wes's death making your blood boil in a disgusting way.

"Fuck you." You whispered before hanging up on her, turning your phone on silent mode before tossing it onto the couch. 

It was only supposed to be a prank; that's what she told you. 

Wes was notorious for his hatred towards horror movies, especially Amber's favourite Stab. 

Amber suggested to you that you and her should play a little prank on him after he was "too touchy" with you as Amber said.

The prank being you and Amber would dress up in the famous Ghostface costumes and give him a little scare.

You were reluctant in the beginning but after Amber's persuasive words you eventually agreed.

Amber had already planned it out and told you how the prank was going to play out. 

You would call him as Amber would sneak into his house and scare him before taking off her mask and showing her friend it was a prank.

That isn't how the prank went. 

You were in Amber's car on call with Wes as Amber sneaked into the house late at night in the Ghostface attire.

In the beginning it was going smoothly, even funny to you at times. Then in a blink of an eye everything changed.

As you uttered the iconic line "What's your favourite scary movie?" you didn't get a panic response or even get hung up on; instead you heard fighting.

Screams so loud and guttural you had to pull your phone away from your ear.

Immediately you ran into the house to see what had happened to your absolute horror. You saw Wes on the floor covered in blood as he gargled on his own blood, his throat cut lightly, as if Amber was teasing him an easy and quick death. 

You didn't even know how it was possible that Amber could hurt him so much in less than thirty seconds. 

His eyes met yours as he whispered out his final words, a look of betrayal on his face.

"Y/n?" 

Amber killed Wes, and you helped her. 

You screamed at Amber as she gazed at Wes's dead body, taking off her mask as a look of pleasure swirled in her dark eyes.

She was proud. 

When you threatened to tell the police what she had done her proudness was replaced with smugness as she waltzed at you, a bloodied knife still in her grip. 

"You're an accomplice to my crime, baby. You call the cops on me and we both go down." 

Her words hit you like a wrecking balls with reality. You were an accomplice to her crimes.

The Bonny to her Clyde.

You didn't know what to do - you still don't know what to do, confess the truth to the police and go to prison or keep the entire killing an unsolved mystery; let your best friend become an unsolved case.

One thing you have been doing is avoiding Amber, hell, you've been avoiding everyone. You haven't left your house in days as you rotted away; the guilt slowly killing you.

Sighing, you ignore the vibrations from your phone as you move towards the kitchen, going to make yourself a glass of water in a weak attempt to calm yourself down. 

Grabbing a glass you headed towards the sink to fill up your glass. As the cold water slowly filled it up your eyes were focused on it as your thoughts were plagued by Wes.

You didn't even notice the person standing in the corner of the kitchen.

"Y/n."

You gasped as you dropped the glass making a loud clatter as it landed in the sink. Turning on your heel to your horror you see Amber standing a few feet away with a soft smile, the one that used to make your heart swoon. 

"Don't run." She asks you as she takes a step forward. 

Without hesitation as you do the exact opposite of her words, sprinting away as you headed towards your front door.

"I said don't fucking run away from me!" Amber yelled as her heavy footsteps were heard right on your heel.

Using all the strength and speed you could muster you force yourself to run even faster, but it wasn't fast enough. 

Amber's foot trips yours making you collapse to the ground as the view to the front door just reaches your eye sight.

You whimpered in pain as you tried scrambling back up but was stopped by Amber jumping forwards and standing in the hallway heading towards the door, blocking you from escaping the house; blocking you from escaping her.

She sighs as she runs a hand through her hair, looking down at you. "My love, please stop being like this. We're in this together, you can't leave me alone." 

Her soft spoken words wither into your heart as your glare softens, staring up at her as you slowly stand up. 

"Why are you here, Amber?" You demand as you take a wary step backward, your eyes focused on her body the entire time.

Amber's eyes gleam as she smiles crookedly at you, taking a singular step closer to you. 

"You left me, Y/n." She whispers, taking another step closer as you take another one back. "I fell apart without you and you've fallen apart without me."

You shake your head as you glance back at the stairs that would lead you to your bedroom before back at Amber's innocent looking face.

"Don't lie to me, sweetheart, you and I both know we can't live without each other. It's what made me realise something." Amber whispers, taking another step closer as you don't take another step back, breathing heavily as you stare at her.

She smiled sweetly as she reached you close enough to place her hand in your cheek, caressing it gently.

"We're meant to be." She insists.

You smile back at her as you lean into her touch, Amber visually relaxes as her smile softens.

"No we're not." You say before punching her in the face with all the strength you had in your body.

Amber stumbled back in shock as a small ooze of blood began spilling from her nose. One of her slender fingers touches the blood before pulling away to examine it.

Her jaw clenched as her eyes connected with yours, a look of pure rage in her black eyes.

You swiftly turn around as you run up the stairs as you head towards your bedroom, the only place you know has a lock and a secret weapon.

"Y/n!" Amber yells as she chases after you, right behind you as she tries grabbing you, her fingers skimming over your back. 

Scrambling towards your room you unlock it and throw yourself inside before slamming your body against it, shutting it as you locked it. 

Amber's fist pounds against the door as she screams your name.

"Y/n, don't lock me out! I was meant to be yours, we were meant to be one." She yells through the door, her palm laying flat against it.

You jump towards your dresser where a small pocket knife Amber gifted you was hidden.

Tears are free falling from your eyes speedily but you paid no attention to them, your only focus being on your life.

"You were meant to be mine." Amber growls from behind the door, banging against it once again. 

You flinch at the sound as you flick the blade out of its pocket, backing up against the corner wall as you sobbed quietly.

"I'm all that you need, Y/n, me. Not Liv, not Chad, not even fucking Tara; but me." Amber insisted in a raucous voice as she yelled. "You carved open my fucking heart, Y/n, you can't just leave me to bleed!" 

Your heart is going a hundred miles per hour as your hand becomes shaky, the small knife with Amber's and your initials on the blade shakes.

"Y/n!" She screams in a guttural rage, leaning her forehead against the door from the other side. "Open the door, please." Amber whispers but is loud enough that you hear it.

"Y/n, open the door." She begs again in a pleading voice, her own voice becoming shaky.

You frowned at her hurt voice as you unconsciously took a step closer to the door.

"Y/n, can we not fight anymore, please?" Amber whimpers, making your heart crack at her voice. 

You shake your head as you try to force yourself to stop getting closer to the door. You know she's only doing this to make you open the door, yet you still can't help but feel bad. 

"Please, baby, can we not fight anymore? I get that you're scared and that's my fault, and I'm so sorry, Y/n." You don't say anything as you remain frozen in the middle of the room, not knowing what to do.

"I've been there, feeling the guilt, I was there with you, remember? Do you really think I haven't been feeling horrible about it too?" Amber wailed from behind the door, her voice cracking.

Amber has been feeling guilty about it? You thought she didn't care?

"I can set you free, Y/n. From all the guilt and pain. I know how to." Amber states making your eyes widen in hope. She could make you feel better?

You're silent as you try to process her words, something Amber sees as a sign of rejection.

"Y/n, don't make me come in there." Amber says, her voice becoming louder and angrier the more she spoke. "I'm gonna count to three and if you don't open this fucking door I won't help you." She yells banging the door once again to emphasise her point.

You don't want that, you want Amber's help, if she wouldn't lie to you again, would she?

Wordlessly, you quietly walk over to the door, unlocking it as fresh tears still flow down your cheeks.

Amber immediately opened the door as her eyes locked with yours, her furious expression fading away. 

"You opened the door." She says breathlessly as she takes a step closer to you, her eyes averting  from yours to the knife in your hand.

You nod your head slowly as you drop the knife, your heart beating for Amber and Amber only now.

"Will you help me?" You croak out in a strangled voice. Amber nods her head as she smiles at you, placing a hand on her cheek just as she did earlier, the blood under her nose dripping onto her shirt but she didn't care.

"I'd do anything for you, baby, you're mine and I love you with all my soul and heart." Amber says as she uses her free hand to grab yours, interlocking your fingers together. "We're meant to be." She insists with her crooked smile.

You look down at your hands noticing the bruises on Amber's knuckles along with a few healed cuts. 

God, you caused that. You might've hated Amber but you also loved her. 

"Say it." Amber asked as she tugged your cheek making you look at her with tearful eyes. "Say you're meant to be mine." 

You swallow nervously as you gazed into Amber's dark eyes, blinded by her beauty and soft words.

"Meant to be yours."

[most-datable-datable-bracket]

ROUND 3 MATCH 8

Gale propaganda:

“He is my cringe malewife I love him <3”

“Listen. Some may dunk on him for eating all of your magic artifacts (he only eats three!!) and others may dislike him for various bugs in his romance. But man oh man does this guy take devotion to the next level. He is such a romantic. Says the line "Whether I condemn this world or not, I choose you." after you successfully convince him to disobey his goddess who is also his ex girlfriend. He's a bit hungry for power, but in like, a sexy way, where he wants to get it to elevate you both to Godhood. And if you tell him that you want him for the man he is and not the God he aspires to be, he abandons that search for power and proposes. You can have wizard sex with him in the sky. His "rebellious streak" consists of staying up late reading and summoning a cat when his parents told him he couldn't have one, and also the aforementioned pursuit of godlike powers. What an absolute catch. He's always saying dramatic stuff in battle, but if you have him sneak around, he starts complaining like a grumpy old man. He's extra attracted to you when you're in battle. He has a bomb in his chest. And it is a very nice chest. Anyway. Boyfriend material.”

“This man is so sweet and idealistic. He wants everything about your romance to go perfectly like a fairy tale but that isn't really possible in apocalyptic settings, so he will use magic to help you forget  your surroundings when trying to be intimate to get as close as he can to perfect because he wants you to have the best. He is also attracted to literally all of your character and gets really turned on when you are musky and covered in blood after a battle. Just love my nerdy awkward horny romantic wizard.”

Bella propaganda:

“Bella Goth is a hot, rich MILF pre-made Sims that has been in every major Sims release. It's the Sims... you can date her, have an affair with her, convince her to leave her husband. (Or murder her husband, that's up to you.) She comes with the Good, Romantic, Gregarious and Family Orientated traits in Sims 4. I know that the Sims are all blank-slate, sandbox, do whatever you want games, but Bella Goth is pretty iconic and that's why I'm submitting her. 

In the Sims 2 she disappears via alien abduction and reappears with no memories in Strangetown. 

The Sims lore is pretty deep, although none of it is really featured per say in the game. Bella is descended from a long line of occultists, mystics and decadents, she has thrown convention to the wind. Her disdain for the pedestrian and normal is only matched by her sense of ennui and isolation. She distracts herself from this world with a little organ practice and exotic gardening of the lethal variety.”

[fbfh]

curiosity is a wonderful thing - ch. 6

wc: 2.8k

genre: slowburn, best friends to lovers, painful tooth rotting fluff

pairing: Audrey x Ben, eventual Ben x daughter of alice!reader

warnings: ben's deeply repressed feelings looming ominously in the distance, audrey being an absolute bitch but what's new, op fixing the lore with nail glue and packing tape, Evie is a fucking icon as always

summary: After a long day fighting your way through a mountain of paperwork, you find yourself unable to sleep. Sneaking into ben's room always does the trick. Mal can't find a love spell in her spell book, but she finds something that should work almost as well.

song recs: spring fever - sub urban

a/n: the one thing that pisses me off is that there is no canonical use of love spells in the disney universe outside of descendants. they literally don't exist. genie says no making someone fall in love with someone else. you'd think they would know their own lore /lh

anyway fangz to cici as always (i am so sorry about buggy) and also as always, an optional fit for your viewing pleasure

tags @yesv01 @magcon7280 @hopefullhearts @thatawkwardlittlefangirl  @sunshineangel-reads @strawberry-cake1 @dustyinkpages @kiara7777

You spend the next several hours by Ben’s side as you bounce between various meetings, and of course, your etiquette lessons that you’ve been attending since you were no older than a twizzleroot blossom.  They're not really etiquette lessons, not anymore. They were when you were young, you would attend a few times a week with all the other kids your age. You’d learn how to drink tea, how to write thank you notes, and all the other things you need to know to feel comfortable in royal high society settings. By the end of middle school, most of your peers were no longer in attendance. 

You and Ben, however, used the opportunity to learn about more and more of the nuanced aspects of politics, social graces, and media training. Your parents were both glad for this, and since you seemed on track to be real politicians and not just socialites, it was a perfect fit. However, saying that you have to go to your class for advanced political studies, world history, social graces, and media training is a little too clunky for your taste. You and Ben never grew out of calling them etiquette lessons, so the name stuck to this day.

On this day in particular, you now find yourself sitting next to Ben at a large table in one of the many makeshift conference rooms on campus. You’ve been in and out of meetings and lessons and debriefings about the Isle kids’ arrival, and now you’ve finally made it nearly to the end of your to do list. Ben insisted you didn’t need to stay late with him to do all this paperwork, but you insisted equally as much that you wouldn’t dream of leaving him to do it all himself. Now as Ben skims the monotonous text, signing on lines and initialing boxes, you dig through a seemingly endless database of forms, trying to find the right one. 

You bounce increasingly obscure form titles back and forth for a few minutes. After coming up with nothing, Ben lets out an amiable laugh. He should have expected something that seems straightforward would take at least ten times as long as it should. That’s government for you, that’s what his dad would say. A knock at the door draws both your attention, and Jane pokes her head in awkwardly. She tucks a section of her dark blunt bob behind her ear, then speaks nervously. 

“Uh, hi. My mom sent me,” she says in a quiet, hesitant voice. “She said she’s going to be about half an hour late. There was a problem with some ducks in the forest, or something?” 

Ben smiles at her politely.

“Thanks, Jane.” Ben says politely. Jane nods and leaves quickly, fussing with her short hair. You let out a puff of air from between your lips.

“Even more delays…” you murmur, clicking onto page 23 out of 66 of forms to look through. “How fun.”

Ben chuckles, agreeing as he stands up to stretch his legs. He walks around for a moment, and turns on an extra lamp. It’s starting to get dark out, and the last thing either of you need right now is eye strain. Wait, it’s already getting dark out? He stops in his tracks.

“Shit.” He mutters, reaching for his phone on the table. He completely forgot about dinner with Audrey, but he has to find these forms and get them filled out tonight. You try not to look like you're listening too closely as the phone rings, but Audrey’s voice is quite hard to ignore. Before he can greet her, she’s already demanding to know where he is and why he’s late.

“No, no. I- I didn’t forget. I… well… uh, no. It’s-” Ben rambles around Audrey’s interjections. He gets up, pacing around a little, and walking across the room away from you. He doesn’t want you to have to hear this. 

“We’re just running behind. No- No! I would never intentionally… stand you up… I-” 

“Right!” Audrey snaps on the other end, forcing a smile. “Well then. Maybe we should just cancel!” 

“Wh- uh, okay. I- I’ll make it up to you. We can… uh, later this week? We’ll - before the next tourney meet? I…” 

Ben sighs and pulls his phone away, looking at the screen. Call ended. He walks back over to the table, sitting down to continue trudging through the task at hand. You wordlessly slide a teacup over toward him, the colorful porcelain filled with warm chai, perfectly sweetened. He cracks a smile, and accepts the cup. 

“Thanks, bunny.” He says quietly. You hum warmly in response. You settle back into your comfortable silence, trudging through forms and digging through documents. As you sit across from each other, the pile of completed paperwork steadily grows taller. Hours pass, and you don’t realize how late it is until you’re finally ready to call it quits for tonight. You stumble through your bedtime routine, grateful that you have your muscle memory to carry you through. As soon as your head hits your soft pillow… nothing happens. You toss and turn for a few minutes, trying to get comfortable, then let out an irritated sigh. You managed to get through such a long day and mountains of paperwork, and you still can’t sleep. 

In the opposite wing of the dorms, Ben has no trouble winding down. He’s cozy in his silky royal blue and daffodil yellow sheets, and he’s satisfied with a long day of hard, productive work. He lets out a soft breath, feeling himself teetering on the brink of sleep. Then he hears his door creak open. Soft, muffled footsteps creep across the wood floor, then grow silent as they meet the expansive carpet covering the majority of the floor. He doesn’t move, doesn’t open his eyes, but he can feel someone crouching next to his bed. 

“...Ben?”

He cracks a smile at the sound of your voice, how quiet and tiny you sound in the lateness of the night. You smile a little too when you see him fighting a little grin. After a moment, he answers. 

“Yes bunny?”

“Are you asleep?” You ask carefully. You wait in the darkness for him to answer. 

“Yes.” 

You smile at his sarcastic response, letting out a little breathy giggle through your nose. You kick off your bunny slippers - complete with little tophats - and crawl into bed next to Ben. He’s already scooching over and lifting up the blankets for you, pulling them over your shoulders the way he knows you like. 

He doesn’t need to ask if you couldn’t sleep, he already knows you couldn’t. You’ve been doing this, sneaking in for sleepovers when insomnia gets the best of you, for as long as he can remember. Something about his presence comforts you, relaxes you through even the longest, most never ending nights. No matter how tired he is, he’s always happy to be there for you on nights like tonight, he’s always happy to keep you warm and talk you to sleep. 

And that’s just what he does. He lets you lead the conversation, rambling about whatever springs to mind, emptying out your brain so you can rest. He’d like to think he knows you pretty well by now. He knows just what to do to help you settle down, to give you the best chance of having a restful night. It’s no surprise to him that you mostly seem to be thinking about the Isle kids. 

“I mean, this is real. Our actions mean they get a chance at a better life.” You mutter drowsily. Your cheek is squished against his pillow and your words are heavy with fatigue. Ben can’t help but think it makes your Wonderland accent that much… cuter. 

“Yeah,” He agrees. He traces his hand along your back soothingly. He glances down and notices you’re wearing the white button down shirt you sometimes wear as a pajama top. He asked you about it once, and you said it made you think of him. He smiles a little as he settles back into his pillows.

“I just hope they’ll be able to assimilate well.” You say, a tone of worry now present in your words. “The only thing worse than doing nothing would be having their decisions made for them because of social pressure…” 

“We’ll keep a close eye out for that.” Ben says. His voice is husky and drowsy. It fills you with warmth, with an appreciation for him and the way he stays up with you even though you know how tired he must be. You nod a little, then find yourself rambling again. 

“I just wish there was a way to guarantee that they felt welcome and not… ostracized.” You mumble. You inch closer to him, snuggling into his warm chest and listening to his soothing heartbeat. It speeds up almost imperceptibly as you do.

“Make sure they know that we know them as people. As individuals, and not just…” You continue, cutting yourself off with a yawn. You stretch a little as you do, then curl back up. Ben looks down at you, smiling a little at how sweet you are, at how clingy you get when you’re sleepy. 

“As the children of their parents…” You finish. Ben hums in agreement. He notices how heavy your eyes are getting, how your speech is slowing, how the flow of your thoughts have gone from a fully blasting garden hose to a subtly dripping kitchen sink. You’re about to fall asleep, which means he can let himself sleep too. He couldn’t have gone to bed before now if he wanted to. If he knows you can’t sleep, he won’t be able to either. But feeling your soft breaths across his skin, feeling the way your chest rises and falls as his hand lays comfortingly on your side, knowing that you’re warm and safe here, with him… Ben feels more relaxed than he has in a long time. Probably since… the last time you couldn’t sleep. 

Sometimes when it’s just the two of you like this, all drowsy and late at night, in the moments before he falls asleep, Ben sometimes gets… weird thoughts. Weird, random, impulsive thoughts that are not at all like him. Totally out of left field stuff, like… wanting to kiss you. Like, really, really wanting to kiss you. Sometimes that turns into wanting to hold you, too. And not like this, not holding you platonically, like a best friend, but… holding you a different way. Maybe wanting to hold you tight in his arms, and lay you down in his big, silky bed, and… 

Ben squeezes his eyes shut tight for a moment before relaxing his face. He puts a manual stop to that train of thought, absolutely refusing to let it continue anymore. He won’t entertain it, he won’t let it heat up his cheeks anymore. He doesn’t like thinking things like that about anyone, and he certainly won’t let himself think anything like that about you. He sighs softly. These crazy thoughts will be gone by the morning. They always are. They have to be. 

Besides, it’s so late, he won’t even remember this by the time he wakes up. That’s what he always tells himself. The last thing he would never admit to anyone - not even to himself - surfaces right before he falls asleep. It must be the late hour, where everything vulnerable feels completely abstract and intangible, but he thinks it’s a lot easier to stop himself from thinking those things about Audrey than it is to stop thinking those things about you. 

While you and Ben drift off to sleep, safe and sound in each other’s arms, someone else is wide awake. Sitting in the dorm she shares with Evie, Mal sits on her bed, scouring her spell book exactly like she’s been doing since Ben left earlier that afternoon. After hours of hitting brick wall after brick wall, Mal is met with the back cover of the book. Again. She lets out a frustrated noise, and flips back to the beginning.

“There’s not a single love spell in this whole fucking book!” She exclaims. She looks over the first few pages, reading them more closely in hopes that she somehow missed something. Evie sits across the room in front of a lit up mirror, plucking meticulously at her eyebrows. 

“Are we…” She winces, then inspects her skin and eyebrows again. “Are we sure we need a love spell?” 

Mal rolls her eyes at the question. Yes, obviously they need a love spell. Evie is oblivious to her irritation, and continues thinking out loud around her careful use of the sharp tweezers in her hand. 

“I could… just work my charm on him. All it would take is one look into my…” Another wince. “Hypnotizing eyes, and he’d be wrapped around my finger.”

She leans back, taking a final look at her work, more satisfied with her appearance now. 

“I mean, he’s not really my type, but…” she shrugs, and looks at Mal, waiting for some kind of reaction from her. Mal doesn’t look up at Evie’s eyebrows, she just keeps digging through her book and ignoring the sound of Carlos and Jay playing videogames.

“No, we need a spell. This has to work. It has to be foolproof.” 

Evie grabs a jade roller and some hydrating gel. She still can’t believe how amazing the makeup and the skincare in Auradon is. She hasn’t seen one half wilted aloe plant, and this gel is infused with roses from Aurora’s moors, glacier water from Arendelle, and caviar fished from the Caribbean. She can’t wait to get her hands on a decent blush, and a lip liner that doesn’t double as eyeliner and an eyebrow pencil. 

Evie notices the scowl on Mal’s face as she hunches over the spell book. Normally she would scold Mal for making faces that will give her wrinkles, but now that she has her hands on retinol, hyaluronic acid, and hydrocolloid patches, she can fix any stress wrinkles Mal brings upon herself. After what feels like an eternity of searching the same pages over and over, something catches Mal’s eye, causing her to stop in her tracks. It’s more of her mothers rambling annotations and scrawled notes, this time on the topic of hypnosis. 

Hypnosis can be useful as long as you’re stealthy with it. Jafar got sloppy, he kept hypnotizing that stupid sultan over and over, not bothering to use hypnosis for it’s true purpose - a means to an end. If you’re an evil genius like I am, and you use hypnosis sparingly, no one will be the wiser. Don’t get me started on that oversized calamari - Ursula has to be the best example of what not to do when you’re hypnotizing a bonehead prince to make him think he’s in love with you. Something as easily breakable as a necklace? Please. Besides, everyone knows the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. 

Her mother’s scratchy handwriting goes on for a while, some anecdote about her and Mal’s father, something she’d rather not read. Ever. She thinks back to what Evie said about wrapping Ben around her finger, and in one desperately needed moment of clarity, everything falls into place. A plan begins to form in her mind. 

“This… this could work.” She says. Those three, quietly spoken words get the attention of everyone in the room. Evie sets down her gua sha stone, and Carlos pauses their videogame. They all walk over, hesitant and eager to hear what Mal figured out. Mal lets out a laugh of disbelief. It seems so simple now, she wonders why she didn’t think of it sooner. She can just hypnotize Ben into falling in love with her. She can trick him into thinking that he loves Mal more than he’s ever loved Audrey, then - boom! Front row seats to coronation, which means front row seats to stealing the wand out from under their noses. 

While Mal silently hashes out the details so she can tell her friends, Evie inspects her cuticles. She really should push them back. She stands up, grabbing a cuticle pusher and an orange wood stick from her pencil cup before making her way back over to Mal’s bed. As the three of them wait with bated breath, Mal looks over the hypnosis spell again and again. After a few moments, she tucks a piece of paper between the pages, marking her spell to reference later. She slams the book shut, and looks up at her friends.

“Come on guys. Let’s go bake some cookies.”

[practicedvmm13fullofpotatoes]

Uhm. Have a note I made whilst sleep deprived a few like.. weeks ago

Yes, I did edit it. A lot

Favorite longform characters because I can't sleep

(LONG POST!! ↓)

Father Andrews

A Christian with Buddhist beliefs? Normal AJ shenanigans. No but tell me a time where he hasn't mixed two things together, confusing the crowd and the other guys.

I'll wait.

Alexa

Look, Tom characters always have my heart, soul and wallet, okay? Alexa is just so :) I love her :)

Don Cicicio

Was torn between the two Tom characters. I absolutely adore Jimmy but ough Don Cicicio my beloved... He's so morally wrong but he's so silly I love him. Fucking indirectly liked AJ's head.. So silly.. So evil..

André Betroot (+ his tutu wearing assistant)

The only reccuring character I can think of. He's so iconic that he just materialized into a different play. I'm his biggest fan I adore him so much!! (Somerset Beetroots! & Bobsleigh Bobsleigh! have been stuck in my brain to the point where I have to blurt it out every time I remember it and I blame Luke for that)

Witch Finder General

I don't make the rules. The one with the most lines that end up stuck in my brain becomes my favorite. I love WFG so so so much he's so so so silly yet so so so morally questionable.

Inga

Became my favorite because she knows what to do with wolves and is the only character I can think of that isn't German in this play. Her different accent gave me mild whiplash and I love that.

Mary

WOMEN IN STEM!! LOOK I DON'T MAKE THE RULES. THE MOMENT A CHARACTER IS MY TYPE IS THE MOMENT THEY BECOME MY FAVORITE (+ she also has the most lines I have ingrained in my brain). I LOVE MARY SO SO SO SOOOO MUCH!!

Mario The Sheep

Again, the moment a character has the most lines stuck in my brain is the favorite. Mario has me baa-ing almost every time I talk. I blame him for all the weird looks my mom gives me when I go "🐑Inbred?🐑"

Philip + Derek

Philip spoke one time, never appeared again. I love other assistant Philip so much. That one audience member has my wallet because I willingly gave it to them. But of course, assistant Derek has my heart. Love the Woodmans so so much.

Troll Mother

Obvious pick was Troll Son BUT I love Troll Mother purely because she appeared twice and only spoke in one of those appearances.

Juliet

Obvious pick. I love homocidal women who are pretty :) She's just so :)

Sherlock Holmes

Shirley Houses is my favorite detective!! Or was it Sherry Lots? Uh... BASTA!! THEM!! MY FAVORITE!! That's all :)

Priscilla's Mother

I forgot her name but I love her so much. DO NOT INSULT HER STAGECRAFT!! She's doing her best :) But anyways, most lines remembered = favorite :)

Marty jr.

First character that I've thought about for hours after watching the play, probably because TEMAWK is the first play I finished. So so chaotic and so so homicidal. I love that little bastard :)

Derek

The way I went "DEREK SPOTTED!!" when he was introduced should be concerning. No but he's so silly and I love him. We love a man that isn't toxic like his best mate is :)

Justin Willoughby

I already put André so!! More Tom characters!! Justin is coping terribly and I want to give him a hug for it. He's just so :( I love him so so so much :( My poor boy :(

Peter Steven

This is the 10th Tom character on the list. There are currently 16 characters as of writing this. I'm not sure if I just love Tom or just really love Tom. Anyways, FREE MY MANS!!! HE JJST WANTS TO PLAY OUTSIDE AND BE A HEALTHY CHILD :((

Johnny + Janae

Look, I know this is supposed to be favorite character and not favorite characterS but.. I love both of them so so so much they're my bebes.. You cannot have one without the other and you cannot convince me otherwise. They're just so me-core I lav them :)

Mrs. Xavier

Certified 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴 seven days a week </3 She just put the thought of her child fucking her other child's husband in her mind, let the chaos happen, and then just took the thought back in her own because "it's good".

James James

He's like. The only character I genuinely remember from The Prime Minister's First Day (I definitely need to rewatch this one) but he's just so sillaye I love him.

Theresa May

Important character that knows how to defeat the antagonist, dies immediately. I don't know why but a character being introduced as important but then dies almost immediately is so funny to me and bumps them up to favorite character status.

That one person who scrum

Genuinely the only thing I remembered from The Ingredients is the scene where Sam just SCREAMS.

Marie-Claire

Was only mentioned, but Cliff and Chip talking about her death immediately shot her up to favorite character status. No but the idea of her just going "wee!!" when she threw herself off a cliff, while depressing, is incredibly funny to me.

Persephone

ANOTHER Tom character. I'm so so sorry but I love Tom so so much he's just so good at any role he assumes and just.... Persephone is not an exception to this.

Fullset O'Hands (+ Caravan Hutch... Or is his name Lots?)

Okay. These two freaks are just so :3 I'M SORRY BUT YOU CAN'T JUST GIVE ME TWO WEIRDOS AND EXPECT ME TO BE NORMAL ABOUT THEM. THEY'RE SO ME-CORE I LOVE THEM SO SO MUCH.

Andrew

SAVE MY BOY!!! HE DID NOTHING WRONG!!! HE WAS JUST A BIT EAGER!!! FREE HIM!!!

Magnus O'puss

Don't give me Tom playing a character like THIS and expect me to act normally. I'm sorry but sometimes I can't tell if I want to be them or if I want them. Tom playing the fandom's queer icon definitely makes it harder for me to decide.

Pointy

Again, you cannot give me a weirdo and expect me to be okay about it. He's just so :) I lav him :)

Scottish Batman

YOU DON'T TELL SCOTTISH BATMAN TO FUCK OFF!! HE IS THE NIGHT!!! HE IS VENGEANCE INCARNATE!!!!

That fucking kid

I'm sorry but that little "Rapier!! :D" got me. WHY ARE TOM'S KID CHARACTERS SO :3 YET SO D: I'M SOBBING ON THE FLOOR HE CAN'T DO THIS TO ME

The barkeep

"Be careful™". That's. That's all. That's all you need to know (PS. The way he fucking fell omfg)

The French kraken

It's uh. The only character I can remember at the moment so uh. Half-mime half-giant octopus my beloved 🛐

The blond dog

Again, only "character" I can rember atm. Luke was 100% going for horse. Nooo noo, that's blond dog 👍 (was this even in this play? i don't know)

D.I Mannering

You can't just give me a character that goes against their sibling and ends up killing them because they're on opposing sides and expect me NOT to imagine terrible tragedies happening

The witches

Fucking freaks. Absolute weirdos. I love them mfs </3

Amanda

I don't really remember this play but I remember really liking Amanda for some reason

Don Juan's wife

I forgot her name but I LOVE HER SO MUCH RGHHSSGHD. She just slays so much ough.......

Xavier

The obvious choice. 19th Tom character on the list btw. Anyways. C'est Xavier!! C'est Xavier!! Aaaaaah!! *fains cutely*

[magpod-confessions]

(loosely responding to a confession i saw a while back, but just a lot of stuff in general)

i don't like how the fandom is so quick to slap labels like 'sexist, racist, misogynistic, etc' onto anyone who dislikes a certain character. i know these things are very much an issue, especially in fandom culture, but it's really anoying when people will just throw those labels around just because people dislike a character that happens to be a woman of colour. because 1. people are allowed to just dislike characters 2. people can have perfectly good reasons for disliking minority characters that have nothing to do with them being part of a minority group

specifically i want to talk about preferring michael distortion over helen distortion. obviously michael is widely depicted as a white man, while helen is widely depicted as a black woman so it's easy to look at the general favouritism towards michael and shout racism and misogyny. but that doesn't account the numerous reasons people could have to prefer michael over helen that have absolutely nothing to do with helen being black or being a woman. So, I present several such reasons:

(now, to the people that are going to say "why are you comparing them?? they are different characters and you should treat them like it" first of all, why have you read this far. second of all, that does not apply here. these are not two seperate characters. these are two different interations/personas/whatever of the same being. comparison should be expected if not encouraged)

michael is more interesting than helen. becuase michael is the distortion when jon and the viewer know very little about the distortion and the fears, he gets to be more cryptic, he can hint at things and and be all mysterious and vague about the nature of himself and the world. helen on the other hand is the distortion when we have a much better idea of the distortions nature and the fears and how they work. thus, she has less opportunity to be cryptic and vague and mysterious, which , in my opinion, is one of michael's best qualities-and what makes him so loved by the fandom. helen attempts to be weird and cryptic like michael, but it's just very repetitive and boring because we already know how everything works and there is very little she can hide from us

michael is a more 'iconic' character. this basically comes down to, he's more quotable. he has his whole trademark laugh and all his great quotes "i am not a who archivist i am a what" "how would a melody decribe itself when asked" "does your hand in any way own your stomach" "there has never been a door there archivist your mind plays tricks on you" i could go on. i'm sure helen has some great lines as well but i don't know any off the top of my head, which honestly proves my point a little. anyway, helen doesn't have all that. probably becuase the writers didn't want her to feel too similar to michael but yeah. this reason is a bit basic but it's still true

michael is made to seem more important. I just want to clarify, what i mean here when i say a character is more importamt here, is that the podcast makes this character seem more important. they both had their effect on the storyline, but the show definitely makes one of them seem more important and influential (this reason encompasses a lot of things so i'm sorry if it gets a bit ramble-y) this kinda ties in with the michael being more mysterious thing. micheal is treated as this mysterious unknown character, a potential threat, an antagonist at some points. Michael affects the characters quite a lot, and jon specifically seems to dwell on him a lot. So despite having a lot less screentime than helen, he's built up to be quite an important figure. Helen is not treated as important by the show in the same way. by the time she comes along, the whole mystery and drama of the distortion has already happened, so she isn't that important. she becomes a little irrelevant to the plot, occaisionally popping in to bother jon. and that's what she's really framed as —an annoyance, a bit of a nuisance, but not that important or influential. especially in season 5, she becomes almost a comedic relief character. mag 187 is the exception to this, where she is very important for about one episode before being almost immediately forgotten about. her effect on the characters is made to seem important only in retrospect. michael remains relevant even after his 'death' because he plays an important role in jon's struggle with his humanity and his conflict over gertrude's morals. even though michael has very little screentime compared to helen, every bit of it is made to feel relevant and important to the overall plot. I AM NOT SAYING MICHAEL IS ACTUALLY MORE IMPORTANT THAN HELEN. YOU CAN LOOK AT HELEN'S EFFECT ON THE PLOT AS MUCH AS YOU LIKE. I AM SAYING THE PODCAST ITSELF CLEARLY MAKES MICHAEL SEEM MORE IMPORTANT. sorry i just want to be super clear on that

michael has a more tragic/serious backstory. we all know what i mean here. michael shelley being manipulated and decieved and betrayed and kept in the dark, to become a monster that's whole purpose was to do those same things to countless innocents—there's so much that can be drawn from that and it's so poetic and interesting. it's also relevant to the overarching plot of the podcast like i said before. and like i mentioned before, helen is treated as a more funny character, not as serious or tragic as michael. don't get me wrong, there is tragedy in her becoming but it is not explored in the podcast canon. you can definitely talk about the srious stuff of helen's character but it isn't as grounded in canon if you do. also michael's death seems more tragic because michael shelley was framed as super innocent and undeserving of his fate while helen richardson was canonically kind of an asshole (not saying she deserved it either of course)

helen replaced michael. this relates to what i said at the start of this list—helen is going to be compared to michael as she is literally his replacement. for one, that does set michael fans against her slightly already because she's complicit in his 'death' a tiny bit. but the real problem is, she's expected to live up to michael—while also being different enough that it doesn't feel like the same character—which i personally don't feel that she does. i think i'd like her better if she was her own character and hadn't replaced michael, and i think that's a big reason that many people that prefer michael don't like her as much. it's also a valid reason to dislike a character. also, this has absolutely nothing to do with her being a woman of colour in fanon. if she was another white boy i'd still probably dislike her when she didn't live up to michael standards.

that's all i can be bothered to write, i think i had more ideas but i forgot sorry lol. anyway, notice how none of those reasons had anything at all to do with helen being a woman or often being depicted as black? if michael had been a woman of colour and helen had been a white man instead, these reasons would still apply

anyway i spent so long on this i thought of a couple reasons someone might preferhelen because i still love her and i don't want to make it seem like i dislike her. i don't. i just prefer michael but helen is still definitely top5 tma characters for me for sure.

we get to see the distortion adapt to it's new identity as helen which is super cool (i do not understand why no one talks about this.like hello????? it's so interesting?)

sometimes it's nice to have a more funny character, especially the juxtaposition between the more dark stuff of the podcast and lighthearted moments between helen martin and jon in season 5

i like her more subtle manipulations and the whole 'fake friend' thing. i thought that was a really interesting concept and a good way of bringing something new to the distortion

anyway, i know that white-twink-favouritism is an issue within the tma fandom (and dare i say tumblr as a whole) but let's remember than not everyone who likes or dislikes certain characters or prefers one character over another does so because they are sexist or racist. there are so many different reasons for someone to dislike or like characters that have notihing to do with race or gender.

i notice this debate particularly with michael and helen and i agree there could certainly be an element of sexism and a bit of racism too (not racism so much because she is not canonically black it's just a fanon thing so racist people probably just see her as white idk) but i think most people have genuine reasons like these to prefer michael and should not be called sexist or racist for having preferences.

🗣️ if i remember right mod i know you prefer helen so disagree with me if you wish. I'M NOT SAYING MICHAEL IS OBJECTIVELY BETTER THAN HELEN I'M POINTING OUT REASONS THAT A LOT OF PEOPLE PREFER HIM. i'm not really here to debate whether michael or helen is 'better' i just wanted to point out something that annoys me a bit

oh my god you are so right anon. at the end of it all both distortions are just. the distortion. michael was more impactful to the actual story as a whole, being one of gertrude's assistants, but helen is also super important in jons journey into avatarhood. both of them affected how jon sees himself through this ( him seeing himself as a monster definitely is also from the distortion ) in their own ways , and while helen is more of comedic relief , she still is new. she's fresh. she is a blank slate for the distortion after having been michael for so long and that is so interesting , especially with how she feels at the very start after merging. - deceit

Agree agree agree. I love helen sm and I find her incredibly interesting (and well the disortion in general) and I do prefer her over Michael personally (partly bc im gay as hell), but I definitely understand why ppl love Michael sm. And yea I dont think ppl should be called sexism or racist over liking a character. Like theres a big difference between liking a character for genuine reasons and liking them bc you have a bias. Idk yea - Rosette

[mellowquint]

Fanbinding Masters of Mayhem - a Ninjago and Lego Monkie kid crossover!!!

FINALLY after weeks of putting the project on the shelf i finally have the (motivation) free time to complete this amazing bookbind!!! Shoutout to my best friend who came to me and ask if i could bind it. So what better birthday gift than to bind her current favourite crossover story? At the time of this post i have not given the gift to her yet so fingers crossed that she likes this 🤞😖

Thank you FictionForLife_NZ for creating this absolute hilarious masterpiece!! I have been wanting to read an LMK crossover fic for the longest time and low and behold, the ao3 algorithm has answered my prayers lol. Me and best friend really love the character interaction that the Ninja’s have with the LMK crew 😂. Also the shipping!! Best friend absolutely LOVES dragonfruit but was sad that they didn’t have as much of a fandom dedication as opposed to spicynoodles. So imagine her suprised (and scream) that dragonfruit is the main pairing in the story and their many iconic moments together!! Also the climax truly had me at the edge of my seat!! And that ending?? Gosh couldn’t have asked it better myself Ninjago writers really should take notes ✍️!!! Anyways enough rambling here’s the fic if you would like to give a read, absolute 10/10

Flip through

Some close ups

also yes excuse me and my terrible phone and room lighting it did not do this book justice.

Unfortunately I couldn’t find any fanart that was related/tagged so there was no illustrations for the book. However thats when i had the idea of making the chapter title in the same font as the Ninjago font! To make it seem like every new chapter is an episode!

Also unfortunately couldn’t tag the author since i can’t find their tumblr. If any of you know if said author does have tumblr please let me know!

If you’re all curious on how i make this, i recommend going to the first bookbinding project that i did, its all the same process except with some new improvements that im gonna talk about under the cut

I definitely learned a lot from my mistakes from the last time that i did this, and of course gain new mistakes as well 🥲.

The edges aren’t trimmed

The cover isn’t aligned

The printing for the covers are garbage

Book would not lay flat, instead forever stuck at a weird 120 degree angle

Overall a lot of stuff

This was a given by the fact that i have no experience and was impatient. But since this is a gift for Best Friend ofc this has to actually look good, so here are the improvements that i made

Signature printing— i will admit it took some time and effort but after the old cannon printer finally died permanently jammed, managed to convince parents to buy a more advanced and better printer that can now do double sided printing!! No more wasted signatures from here on out 😮‍💨

Cover printing — not wanting a repeat of the last time that i did it i went to my local Officeworks to get it printed by them. Here i discovered the beauty that is known as ✨Poster Prints✨. Now all of my yellow lines and elements actually do show an pop against the darker background!! Unfortunately this does have a drawback because the prints are sensitive to any type of scratching. Not the scratch and all the colors come off way, more like the scratch it and lines will show up kind of way as you can really see in the front cover :') . Will work on improving this is future projects.

Trimming the edges — originally in book one i trimmed the edges using your typical box cutter and cut it myself. Bad BAD idea i was doomed at that moment. So imagine my surprise the Officeworks ALSO do CUTTING service!!! My jaw dropped and i immediately went back the next day with my text block and asked them if they could trim all edges. After some inspection they put it through the guillotine and all of my edges are perfectly trimmed. Saved me all the time, money, and storage.

Laying book flat — this was definitely the biggest pet peeve that I have with my first book. The way i do it now is i now put a one cm gap between the front cover, side cover and back cover. And also using the right paper (cardstock) to connect the text block with the covers. Now the book can actually fully open!!!

Cover alignment — I printed out the front and back in regular paper and use that as a template on where i wanna fold the prints to find the cover. Worked like a charm

once again shoutout to best friend for giving me the brilliant idea when making the covers!! had it not been for her to point out about clause's book of spells i would have never made the coolest cover page that I've made in my entire binding experience!! all in all im pretty dang proud of myself for being able to improve on my bookbinding skill.

[hotvintagepoll]

Propaganda

Glynis Johns (Mary Poppins, The Court Jester)—LISTEN, I'd let that woman's voice with all its gravely hoarseness (positive) wash over me all goddamn day, but if that's not enough she managed to play the straight woman to Danny Kaye's jester, all with her cleavage so plunging it might as well have been catapulted into the ocean right after Basil Rathbone

Eartha Kitt (Anna Lucasta, St. Louis Blues)—My friend and I have a saying: NOBODY is Eartha Kitt. A thousand have tried, and they've all come up empty and will continue to do so. Everyone knows her for something: from "Santa Baby" to Yzma in Emperor's New Groove to Catwoman to making Lady Bird Johnson cry for the Vietnam War. She was a master of comedy and sex, an extremely vocal activist, and she aged like fine wine... I honestly don't know what I can say about her that hasn't already been said, so I'll stick to linking all my propaganda. Like what else do you want from me. She was iconic at everything she ever did. Literally name another. How can anyone even think of her and not want to absolutely drown?

This is round 4 of the tournament. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage woman.

[additional propaganda submitted under the cut.]

Glynis Johns:

She walks the line between sexy and cute. Her best role for me is in "The Court Jester as Maid Jean. She's fantastic as the soft but tough captain of the outlaw band and she looks stunning in every gown she wears throughout the film. And of course we can't forget her iconic turn as the suffragette mother, Mrs. Banks, in Mary Poppins! Also shoutout to her distinctive and beautiful voice, kind of smoky and husky. Extremely hot and set her apart from many of her peers."

"She was amazing in Mary Poppins (the Suffragette song is severely underrated) and apparently she was Welsh? National pride! And she advocated for arts funding in Wales, which is very cool. Also, she died recently (RIP) making her one of the last survivors of the Golden Age of Hollywood, according to Wikipedia. Also also, she just has a cheeky energy I like? And her eyes are beautiful!"

"She had this wonderful wit and charm to her no matter the role and the most distinctive, striking voice!"

"I mean, incredibly beautiful and talented, can do drama can do comedy. And she was a mermaid."

"Like Bette Davis she has eyes to die for. Unlike Bette Davis you felt comforted by them, even when she was batting her eyelashes at you. Would glady go to Downing Street with her and throw things at the Prime minister"

"Listen, listen. I was raised on Mary Poppins and "Votes for women! (step in time)" single-handedly taught me how to be a feminist. Also The Court Jester is one of my favourite movies of all time and she is UNBELIEVABLY gorgeous, charismatic, funny, and clever in it. She knocks several men out. Absolute icon."

"I love Glynis Johns. Most of the reason is The Court Jester where she's a sensible and capable foil to whatever what going on with Danny Kaye at the time. She was also the first star I based an OC on. An OC that I still have to this day! Anyway here have some YouTube links love u bye"

Mermaid clip:

Court Jester (sharing a bed trope):

Court Jester (seducing the king):

"VOTES FOR WOMEN! Well, votes for this woman. Please."

Eartha Kitt:

"A hot vintage woman who was not just known for her voice, beauty, poise, and presence, but also her unapologetic ways of speaking about how she was mistreated in the show business as a girl who grew up on cotton fields in South Carolina in the 1930s through the 1940s coming to Broadway first and then Hollywood."

"Have you watched her sing?? Have you seen her face?? Have you heard her talk?? How could you not fall instantly in love. She makes me incoherent with how hot she is."

"She can ACT she can SING she can speak FOUR LANGUAGES she is a GODDESS!!! Although she is (rightfully) remembered for her singing, TV appearances (Catwoman my beloved), and later film roles, her early appearances in film are no less impressive or noteworthy!! She’s an amazing actress with so much charisma in every role. She was also blacklisted from Hollywood for 10 years for criticizing the Johnson administration/Vietnam War, so. Iconic. Also Orson Welles apparently called her “the most exciting woman in the world.”

"She had such a stunning, remarkable appearance, like she could tear you to shreds with just a glance- but the most undeniable part of her hotness was her voice, and it makes sense that it's what most people nowadays know her for. Nothing encapsulates the sheer magnetism of her singing better than this clip of her and Nat King Cole in St. Louis Blues, she pops in at 2:49. Also I know it's post-1970 but her song that was cut from Emperor's New Groove is likely to make you feel Feelings."

Even with as racist as Hollywood was in the 1950s and 60s, Eartha Kitt STILL managed to have a thriving career. She also once had a threesome with Paul Newman and James Dean, and called out LBJ over the Vietnam War so hard that it made First Lady Johnson cry. Eartha Kitt was talented, sexy, and a total badass activist.

[the-osborn-way]

Ghostface ranking please n thank you

OH MY GOD YES YES YES I LOVE RANKING ALL THE GHOSTIES

My ranking of all 15 Ghostfaces so far (yes.... I'm including Jason and Greg because if I don't, SOMEBODY'S gonna bitch about it I know--)

SPOILERS AHEAD FOR ALL 6 SCREAM FILMS

Rankings under the cut

Stu Macher (Scream)

The BEST Ghostface to ever Ghostface. A BIT underrated just because people will sometimes give Billy more credit. But like- hot man. Has no actual motive for killing, Billy was like "Hey, dude, let's kill people" and he literally needed nothing more. Thought up of some of the key parts of their plan, definitely gutted Casey and Steve, probably put Kenny on the van by himself (Billy wasn't around, so-) . Definitely top 3 or 4 strongest Ghosties to date. And the humor-- okay, I could go ON AND ON about Stu, but I'll stop here. Matthew Lillard really took the character from boring in the script to one of the only parts of the original film me and my mother (who's TERRIFIED of horror films and would rather forget them) remembered from our first watch when I was 13. (She said she'll never forget his laugh and that she hates him. ... She then got me a t-shirt of him not 3 weeks later for Christmas. Sorry, Mom-) Great job, man! Stu stole my heart, LOTS of my money, and a large part of my brain, so it's safe to say he'll always be my fave and an icon in my eyes. (Literally wearing my Stu shirt as I type this, what a fun coincidence LOL-)

2. Charlie Walker (Scream 4)

I said what I said. People either adore Charlie or despise him, and I love him DEARLY. Yes, he's very attractive, but on top of that, he racks up one of the highest kill counts by a single Ghostface alone in the entire franchise, beaten only by Roman, I believe. From Olivia Morris, which was obviously his kill, to tossing Rebecca Walters off a building, to Jenny and Marnie... definitely Robbie... Kirby... Kate Roberts... man just went crazy with the kills, and I respect it. He had loyalty, some great lines, a HILARIOUS deleted scene ( ), and he kept cool under pressure, never revealing himself until absolutely necessary. Do I relate to him? Yep. Is that bad? Probably, but I love him anyways.

3. Jill Roberts (Scream 4)

Another maybe controversial ranking, but I love Jill! I think her motive is fantastic, the way that she uses Charlie to get what she wants, and as someone who has acted innocent in situations where I'm definitely not, her acting is spot on. I never thought about it being her until her reveal, and it's still one of my favorites of all time. She is also, I believe, the Ghostface who got closest to the goal of killing Sidney and getting away with it, so congrats, girl! You had the whole world fooled till the hospital! She's a great take on what I think is the modern version of Billy Loomis, and she nailed the innocent act, truly. Did she kill anyone? Probably, but I can't think of anyone who I know is 100% a Jill Kill. Either way, good for her for not getting her hands dirty, or FOR getting her hands dirty! Impressive no matter what in my mind.

4. Billy Loomis (Scream)

Dont worry, Billy fans, he's still in my top 5! The only reason he's not my third is because I think he's just a BIT overrated. If the movies weren't constantly making him seem like he was the only killer and completely alienating Stu (I think there's a reason for that, but I won't explain that here), then I'd put him above Jill. I know that's a weird reason, but it's my reason. Billy is a fantastic manipulator who knew how to get exactly what he wanted from Sid, and also was a repressed drama queen, which I relate to a lot. While Stu was openly crazy, Billy hid behind the stone cold semi-facade. I don't think Billy would ever have gotten as crazy as Stu did, but he definitely showed the drama in several ways that make me smile and laugh every time. Falling down a flight of stairs? Fucking up Stu's couch cushions? Comedy gold every time. I give Billy credit for stabbing Casey, killing Himbry, and killing Tatum. I think the rest were Stu's because of the gutting and where Billy was at the time. I also think he killed Maureen, so a nice 4ish kills for him! Anyways, top tier Ghostie, another one I'll always respect respect and love.

5. Amber Freeman (Scream 5)

I'm gonna be honest, I hated her when I first watched Scream 5. Hated Richie too, but he's still terrible. Fuck him. I thought Amber was a trashy, third rate version of Stu that was extremely fake and her turn from cold to goofy seemed extremely forced. Then I took a deep dive and figured out why. (If you want a full explanation, let me know, I'm trying to stay short here.) So I believe that Richie is this movie's Stu and Amber is the movie's Billy. From her plans, her using the house, just her very cold, calm demeanor in the beginning, she just gives Billie energy, while Richie is just... well, he's the Netflix guy. He makes jokes left and right. But Amber, I think she was trying to be the Stu while Richie was trying to be the Billy. Everyone forgets that Stu was a boyfriend too, (Billy's) Tatum's boyfriend. Amber was supposed to be Tara's girlfriend in the original script. So now, I see her third act as more of her desperate attempt to look like her idol instead of sticking with the persona that served her well for the rest of the film. That really made me appreciate her more, and made her feel even underutilized, as did the Macher house. (I LOVE THAT HOUSE. I LOVE IT. Well, the actual actual house, not the Scream 5 version.) So yeah. Amber was a cold blooded killer trying to be just like the Macher before her, even if that wasn't the part she was meant to play in her movie. Taking credit for Dewey's kill? Absolutely. She was in the cult and she just wanted to piss Gale off by saying she did it. Fantastic lines, wonderful creep factor! Her death- *chef's kiss* Lovely homage to Sidney shooting Billy. And that's my top 5!

6. Quinn Bailey (Scream 6)

The only member of that damn family who did a good job killing. Richie included. Funny? Check. Didn't see her coming? Check. Ruthless? Double check. I don't think she did Gale's attack either, I think that just like Amber, she took the blame for someone else's work just to keep them hidden. Besides that, she was a good character, someone you thought was long gone until she wasn't. Bonus points for her saying Stu was her fave and definitely being the one to stab Mindy on the subway. Maybe not the greatest Ghostie ever, certainly low on kills, but I enjoy watching her a lot.

7. Nancy Loomis, aka "Debbie Salt" (Scream 2)

Another hidden killer who deserved more screen time after her reveal, and more backstory. I love her motive of "good, old-fashioned revenge", and I can see her killing Randy out of rage. Killing Mickey? Nice way to keep things in her favor! Debbie Salt was eh. Don't remember her much tbh- I would've liked to see Nancy more as herself, she just had great potential. Did she take some kills? Absolutely. Got her hands dirty to honor her son. But that's what I don't like. She leaves Hank, then suddenly after Billy dies, she's like the best mother ever?? Killing for the son SHE left?? Her leaving is the reason Scream happened, paired with Maureen and Hank's infidelity-- that's why she's a solid 7 in my book, and the best of the worst. Only goes downhill from here, folks.

8. Mickey Altieri (Scream 2)

GREAT in the Act 3. Other than that? Um... he was okay, I guess? He had some funny lines, but where I really like him is in the possibility possibility of what he's done. He definitely killed for Nancy, he was insane and just wanted people to see him that way. He DID talk to Matthew Lillard in the background of the sorority party... Mickey and Stu working together?? His Act 3 was good, he showed he could be a good Ghostface, scared Sidney, killed Derek... but that's where this ranking and my positive comments about him stop.

9. Wayne Bailey (Scream 6)

Classic parent who wants revenge, angry, pulls it off decently. He has some good moments, funny, a definite suspect, and nowhere near as good a cop as Dewey. Points for trapping the Core 4 (minus Mindy) and Kirby in the second coolest location in the franchise, but that's where my positivity stops. Sam killed him easy, he was a shit parent until Richie died I bet. Did he get his kids to murder? Oh yeah, I think he's the one who made this whole plan up with Quinn and Ethan's help. He doesn't really stand out. Did he kill?? Even wear the fucking mask?? I honestly don't think so. I would put him lower, but compared to the next three... yeah, he's fine at 9.

10. Richie Kirsch (Scream 5)

WHYYYY. WHY. The only goof thing I can say is that like 5 of his lines made me laugh, and he also hates Stab 8. Me too, dude, that looks BAD. Motive? Pretty good, solid movie motive, getting with Sam to get the job done. Ruthless? Yeah. But he's sloppy. He's a Stu without the magic, just trying to make a movie. Him dating Amber?? *vomits* KILL ME NOW. He was 100% manipulated by her, I know he was. A sad attempt of Billy Loomis that leaned more towards Stu, and his cheesy shit throughout the film made his "true colors" seem kinda dull and not very scary. I don't like him. I don't.

11. Ethan Landry [Bailey] (Scream 6)

Like father, like sons!- all in my least favorite 5 of legitimate Ghostfaces. How much screen time did he have?? Not enough. Innocent guy, "I was in Econ!" to "HAHAHA I'M INSANE NOW!!"? I hate it. His transition was too forced, he was bland and stupid, his attempts at faking his knowledge about everything were embarrassing and made him look worse as a character. The easiest Ghostface to spot. I don't know, I mean I get people like him because he's insane and attractive, but I don't. Sorry to all of you who love this guy and his family. His best scene? When Tara stabbed him in the mouth. You go, queen!!

13. Roman Bridger (Scream 3)

Fuck. FUCK. I hate him, I hate this movie, I hate it all. His motive is pretty solid, I actually like it a lot... but he was stuck up, whiney, and underutilized. Like Ethan, low screen time, unbelievable shift from loser to villain- did he even share a scene with Sid?? Talk to her?? And this makes Billy and Stu look like lackeys. I HATE IT. I would've much rather had the Stu leading a Ghostface cult film, but I know why they went this route instead, and I respect that. Like Ethan, the best part about him, and of this movie, is his death. Dewey missing his head like 5ish times before finally hearing Sid and going for the head Thor in Endgame style?? Comedy. GOLD. I love Dewey Riley. But yeah, I just don't like Roman at all. His strengths are his motive, his INSANE kill count (I think he had an accomplice.), and his physical strength. Besides those? Useless. Sorry, Roman die-hards.

14. Jason Carvey (Scream 6)

Not bad for a Ghostface killed in the first 15 minutes. He had the makings of a good killer, definitely in the cult, but his time was just extremely short. Nothing much to say about him, but his only kill was a fantastic start to the film. I would put him higher, because I think he WAS a good Ghostface, but... 10 minutes or less of screen time? Sorry dude, don't know you well enough.

15. Greg (Scream 6)

Who?? Saw him a fridge. That's it. What's his last name, I don't remember- No screen time, not even alive on screen. Nothing more to say. He was probably pretty good though, if he was anything like Jason.

And there's my ranking of all 15 Ghostfaces!! If you want to add your own, feel free to below! If you wanna comment on mine, please be respectful, but I'd like to know why you don't like characters I do, or like ones I don't. If your faves are my faves, share!! I love finding new Scream buddies!! And thanks for listening if you made it this far, that was LONG.

[femminger]

Art practice by trying some other artist's styles that I'm a huge fan of!

From Top Left to Bottom Right:

@ghostishere0 - the original reason I started this doodle, as I wanted to draw a "shepherd lovers squad" and their OC (who I don't know the name of F) was the perfect fit for it.

@luminesparkz - the best interpretation of Pom pikmin. If I were Mr. Nitendo, I would make them the official comic creator along with the manga comics.

@marblyso - If I was a little more unhinged and made a shrine to Erma Shepherd, it would be mostly marblyso's art of her, it's my absolute favorite Erma depiction <3

@rexscanonwife - another OC that I don't know the name of, but she makes such a cute pair with Shepherd and has such cute art that why not, let Shepherd have multiple canon wives at this point.

@citruscrisp - I think this is secretly Alph in an alternate universe where he makes comics about himself, because citrus has Alph's character SPOT ON, and also loves to put that boy in a situation (which I am happy for, I enjoy seeing that boy in a situation)

@daisythecomic - oooaaaaaaaaaa they look like little mice people they look so soft and sweet I love them so muuuuuuuuuccchhhhhhhhh

@louie-posting - I can't not include actual Louie Pikmin on this list.

@kiwilittle - the soft, the sweet, the one who makes the best family style art, really making me wish I was an inch tall so I could go to holidays with the olimar family, also their wife design is so cute that if Olimar didn't already get it I would shoot my shot for her m a a m

@pikbugz - really nails the soft aesthetic that makes pikmin such a calming series, and their coloring style is so soft and good that it gives me the ratatouille nostalgia flashback moment.

@splitster - more than just the wraith au guy, they are the one who makes incredible and funny comics; I've seen so many fics with the rescue corps where I can pick up that yes, this trait came from a splitster comic, and that's a GOOD thing. Made me actually LIKE Dingo, the nerve.

@diesaur - I can't do diesaur's incredible, unique art justice, they are amazing at using geometrics and have the best charlie (his little teefs...)

@solluxander - Cars, one of my favorite pikmin Ocs I've ever seen! Collin deserves a slightly unhinged sentient fluffball boyfriend, and I always love seeing the new ways Cars will interact with him.

@sillypikmin - all hail the best pikposter, who I'm still convinced is an actual leafling living on actual pnf-404, literally every time I have a bad day I look at drawings of Moss and feel better.

@eggpathy - thank goodness they came back to give us old man yaoi. I keep their drawing of olimar kissing the pikmin good night on my phone and look at it before I go to sleep and so far I have yet to have a single nightmare.

@the-knife-consumer - the only person I trust with Louittany, toxic yuri my beloved, I just adore their beasty brittany design so so much, I wish I could have a small brittany to live in my house...

anyway they have the best headcanons for our beloved blorbo hamster people

@natibranch - there's a voice line of Louie going "wa-ha!" in this really cute sing-song voice and every time I see any art by natibranch I hear that sound in my head as a little burst of serotonin, they just nail that exact feeling so so well.

@pikked-min - Another of my favorite Pikmin OCs, Yuva! A really interesting and unique character concept with a lot of thought put into the worldbuilding, followed by a strong unusual personality that had me looking at the pikmin world through a new perspective entirely. Please, someone, give them some sunglasses. Read the fic it's so good

@ssserf - artistic and deep while still somehow looking like official nintendo tm art, genuinely the best at the pikmin proportions, how could I resist trying my hand at the classic amazing beautiful Brittany Fruit Sweater moment, literally SO iconic

@kashi-pon - while I was working on the part of this that was just kashi's various highlife dresses there was a part of me that wanted to dedicate the rest of the space to paying homage to the joke comic of Louie lifting his skirt to show Olimar that he's wearing shorts, except this dress....well......

@diamondwerewolf - the reason we got louie in a little bunny outfit anyway, and thus why we got kashi's dress version. you single-handedly turned Louie into a tumblr sexyman, how could you

[vintagetvstars]

Betty White Vs. Gracie Allen

Propaganda

Betty White - (The Mary Tyler Moore Show, The Golden Girls, Life With Elizabeth) - I mean - does she really need an introduction? It's Betty White, people! The First Lady Of Television! What *hasn't* she done? She had an incredible career (in fact, she earned the Guinness World Record for the longest TV career by a female entertainer *twice*!) with an infinite list of successes - she won seven Emmys, three SAG awards, and even a Grammy. I personally know her best for her spectacular portrayal of Rose Nylund in The Golden Girls, but she's played so many great characters in her long career. A lesser known but marvelously charming role is that of the titular character in Life With Elizabeth, a 1950s sitcom which she also co-produced at the age of *28*! She was also a great advocate for a number of causes - animal welfare, gay rights (she used to accompany her friend Liberace to events to help him avoid being outed as gay), and racial equality: she famously hired Arthur Duncan, a Black tap dancer, on one of her shows, and when threatened with going off-air if he wasn't fired, she just declared "He stays, live with it." She's the whole package - amazing actress (and comedienne and producer!), kind and hilarious, and of course - beautiful! Just look at her - that smile! Those eyes! That charm!! Watch her in action if you can (they're too long to link here, but entire episodes of Life With Elizabeth are on youtube!), but honestly - her pictures alone are enough to make me swoon!

Gracie Allen - (The George Burns and Gracie Allen Show) - she's SO funny

Master Poll List of the Hot Vintage TV Ladies Bracket

Additional propaganda below the cut

Betty White:

Have you seen her?? Look me in the eyes and tell me that Betty White's smile doesn't have the power to turn anyone's heart to mush. She looks adorable one moment, and can come up with the most out of pocket lines the next (all while still looking innocent about it). People know her best as Rose Nylund in The Golden Girls, of course, where she played the show's most naive character. But reportedly, Betty was actually the cleverest person on set. She didn't even have to learn her lines; reading the script once was enough for her, and she'd be able to remember any additional changes throughout the week without a problem. Which is pretty amazing if you ask me! Anyway, Betty is an icon. Her television career spanned seven (7!!!) decades, covering basically the entire tournament's time period (and then some!). She *almost* turned 100 and her outliving other celebrities was a Tumblr meme for ages. She had her own talkshow in the 1950s, for which she hired a female director, and had an African-American tap dancer (Arthur Duncan) as a regular cast member. When faced with criticism for the latter and the threat of being boycotted, Betty responded with "I'm sorry. Live with it" and gave Duncan *more* airtime. She was also the first woman to ever produce a sitcom (Life with Elizabeth) in which she played the lead, and looked absolutely stunning doing it. All in all: Betty was a badass, had a heart of gold, and she's absolutely stunning!

I think I might cry at how pretty she is honestly

that SMILE!!!

some soft butch realness

she's even pretty when she's not smiling... ahh...

she is marvelously bitchy as Sue Ann Nivens. please for the love of god watch these videos

Betty White / Sue Ann Moment #1: Coffee Experts Agree

Betty White / Sue Ann Moment #3: Massive Mudslides Wreak Havoc

Betty White / Sue Ann Moment #5: Have a Sexy Birthday

Gracie Allen:

Gracie Allen--Best Lines Compilation 1