#but anyway thank you for being here. please stay alive bc in 20 years i am going to have a party and you are invited

[giantkillerjack]

i love that you are still here on this earth. i am relieved that we've both made it this far. and i am so, so happy to be here on this planet with you. thank you for that.

[mallowstep]

Crazy AU: Leopardfur gives Birth to Firekit. (River Ripple rolled a nat 20. The rest of the founders are pissed.)

Stonefur, Leopard's former apprentice but not best friend/partner (platonic mate) steps up and acts as Firekit's dad. Well acts is the wrong term. He brags. Loudly.

Stonefur, during a gathering, to Lionheart, Whitestorm, and Redtail: "I have a son! His name is Firekit--Named after his pelt color, and he's just so cute! He's going to be the best swimmer I'm Riverclan!"

Whitestorm: "Redtail welcomed a daughter this moon as well."

Redtail: "Sandkit is a strong kit. Brindleface says she's never seen such a fidgety kit, especially before they open their eyes!"

hmm. this is good i'm good with this. yeah.

someone probably says leopardfur has a kit as an ambition thing, but no. she just. you know. idk. not sure what she's thinking or planning tbh but that's fine i can figure that out later.

anyway. i wouldn't have stonefur filling quite second parent role. more. parent's best friend who helps out a lot because you're being raised by a single mother and that's a lot. you know.

maybe you don't. uh. i know. like. someone who does certain parental things with you and is definitely a parental figure but solidly Not a parent. i know what i'm talking about tho.

anyway that said he adores firekit (of course he does). he's definitely. if they were in another clan, if things were different, if, if, if, he might not really be there in the same way. but they are in riverclan, where kits are typically raised with two parents, and leopardfur and skyheart aren't exactly close, and, and, and.

so. you know. i mean leopardfur is definitely. "this is exhausting stonefur why did nobody warn me" and he's like. "i think it's implied."

but you know. if helping leopardfur means playing with firekit so she can like. go for a walk. he'll happily do that. so they're definitely close.

(riverclan finds it somewhat to very funny that stonefur -- stonefur, who is not exactly Expressive and Emotional, who is more the Stoic and Silent type, who is not exactly what one thinks of as Parental -- is so easily won by this kit.

who knew that to get stonefur to be willing to do absolutely mad antics they just had to get him to care about a kit.)

(mistyfoot. she knew. she is not surprised but she still finds it funny.)

crookedstar announces firekit at the gathering and stonefur is like HECK YEAH but not actually because it's a Gathering and announcements and such but. he's happy. leopardfur! firekit! good stuff!

(he was definitely Very Worried about leopardstar. brightsky didn't die because of her kitting but. you know. it's stressful.

and it's awkward and uncomfortable too bc he doesn't know what to do. like as she gets Closer and Closer and now she's Bored but is she Supposed to stay in camp or something and

"stonefur please stop pacing"

he's just Worried. he doesn't really know what to do.)

and leopardfur is definitely pretty Anxious at first. i mean if you'll recall she had littermates who died. and uh. well. she's just Concerned. she's never done this before. skyheart hasn't had kits yet. brightsky is done. she doesn't know what to do.

(pour one out for mudfur. he is never getting a moments rest.)

(oakheart, at some point, might physically drag stonefur out of camp. like.

"i get it. i do." because he does he was so worried about them and greypool and he was friends with greypool before -- not as close, but still -- and he understands what stonefur is feeling, mostly. "but you are not Helping anything."

and stonefur is like. "what am i supposed to do then."

"be her friend. you've done that much long enough.")

so anyway. yeah.

oh i forgot willowbreeze died like. a year ago, huh. that's. really not helping. that's really not helping everyone's anxiety.

anyway.

idk. enemy warrior patrol comes into camp and we get the obligatory "get the fuck inside before i kick your ass" scene. that's. i am Mandated to include that whenever possible bc like. uh. idk i like it.

firekit probably tries to sneak to stonefur and stonefur is like "your mother will Kill Me firekit."

"but i want to see."

"but i want to live."

yeah. i think...stonefur Wants to mentor firekit but jury is out if crookedstar will deem them Too Close. i'm not really familiar with crookedstar's Apprentice Assigning habits. firestar wouldn't, bluestar prob wouldn't, bramblestar would, sunstar would NEVER, etc. but i'm not sure about crookedstar.

there's a good number of other options tho. mistyfoot. uh. i'm not looking up a list there are just other Satisfactory Options. greypool. oakheart. silverstream is too young and she's not really mature enough for matters just in case you're like me and trying to think about if that would work otu.

anyway. there are none-kin options too lmao. i'm just blanking on who's alive around now.

sunfish? skyheart? blackclaw? frogleap? all good options, i think.

anyway. firepaw's first gathering. very good times. i think this is the most Dad Energy in that you know. whoever his mentor is he's still young you know. he wants to stick with his mom actually and you know if stonefur is there yes he will stand between them thank you very much this is a Lot Of Cats leopardfur why didn't you tell me.

("i did," leopardfur says, trying not to laugh.

"you didn't say there would be this many."

"i said there would be more than you could imagine."

"i didn't think that meant this many!")

anyway. assumptions are made.

firepaw meets greypaw, ravenpaw, and dustpaw maybe? it's kind of obligatory for these kind of aus and that's fine i'm here for it.

stonefur and leopardfur tho.

hm. maybe firepaw gets. i have no justification for this i just want there to be an excuse for firepaw to be in another clan for an extended period of time so like.

"so they share a nest." "yes."

"and they both raised you." "yes?"

"and they spend most of their time together." "yes."

"and they're not mates." "why would they be?"

good times i think.

[cosmicmoved]

FORMAL INTRODUCTION FOR KITAHARA KOJIRO

hi, for some bizarre reason unbeknownst to even me, this muse has been like half a year in the making (actually, it’s been 5 months but that’s close enough for to still feel shame), but he’s finally here. the ““ evil ”” witch oc! witch man who does murders! whatever you want to know him as! anyway, from now on you just know him as kojiro or koj bc that’s his name <3 please look under the read more link for more info! (WARNING: the following will touch on darker themes like death, murder and, to a lesser extent, abuse. this is a heavy character so please keep that in mind if you ever wish to interact!)

BASIC FACTS

firstly, this oc is mostly connected to tsukidate sho, my witch detective oc. the connection mostly lies in the fact they’re both witches who interact with crime/murder in some capacity but their families are also close.

his name is kitahara kojiro ( 北原浩二郎 ), known as either kojiro or koji by those around him. i haven’t decided his exact birthday yet but he was born in 1990 and is approx. 31 years old. (i understand this is ‘older’ by tumblr rp standards but, by normal people standards, early 30s is still relatively young so basically, if u make old ppl jokes, i will bite u)

technically speaking, kitahara is his father’s surname but he never really knew his father and was raised by a single mother. however, his mother made the choice of raising him with his father’s name in an attempt to distance the pair from her own family. i’ll explain why that is the case in the backstory section of this post.

kojiro is a witch. he’s not involved in any broader witching community nor does his being a witch have much bearing on his professional life but he is a talented witch, despite being trained only by his mother. what he DOES use his magic for, however, is to cause a lot of problems.

oh yeah, he’s also cursed. and he kills people. because he’s cursed. again, i’ll explain this in more detail further in the post but it’s kind of an important fact. he was cursed to die at twenty years old and he’s still alive eleven years later because the only way to hold off death is to kill other people <3 omg that’s awkward

in his normal everyday life, kojiro works as a cake decorator and does photography on the side too. he’s a creative person and tbh he developed a lot of stupid hobbies in his teens, thanks to the belief he was gonna die by the end of them, so he ended up making a living out of what he liked. he also didn’t go to uni because he didn’t see the point because, again, he thought he’d be dead by 20 and then, when he wasn’t, he stopped caring.

it’s also important to note that he, uh, doesn’t give off murderer vibes at all. he’s friendly and sociable (and not in the ‘this guy’s definitely a weirdo’ way). 

i kept calling him ‘evil witch oc’ while i was working on him but, as i’ve said before, i think that’s actually a little too simple and i wouldn’t actually call him evil. he’s NOT a good person but i don’t think evil is the right word for him either. he doesn’t believe he’s a good person either but he’s learned to justify his own actions as a means of survival. kojiro doesn’t enjoy killing people, he doesn’t take any pleasure from the act of murder, but he’s also relatively calm about it too. since he doesn’t have to do it on a super regular basis, he prefers to target shitty people and esp corrupt witches in positions of authority (not really in a self-righteous way, more just because they piss him off). he has specific personal reasons for this.

he has a pretty intense fear of death. you think he’d be over it, having spent his whole life knowing he was meant to die early, but the ability to push his death back sort of flipped some switch in his head and, over the years, he went from quiet apprehension to paranoid obsession.

why is this muse 30 years old? firstly, because i want him to be. that would probably be enough but also his age actually IS important. the vibe i’m going for with this muse is, as i’ve said like once before, is what happens to the hero of the story after they complete their quest? what if that quest doesn’t go as planned? kojiro’s quest was to hunt down the demon associated with his curse. that’s his original ‘story’. what i want to explore here is the aftermath of that, what happens after the weight of the quest comes crashing down on the hero and they return to normal, everyday life where they’re forced to shoulder it as though it’s nothing. a decade after his initial story, he’s worn out. he’s not the same person he was at the start.

BACKSTORY

this isn’t going to be written in a super formal or tidy way because i honestly just can’t be bothered turning this into a proper piece of decent writing. this is only going to be in paragraph form because i don’t like putting backstories into bullet points unless it’s super brief.

kojiro was born in 1990 as the first (and only) child of his unmarried mother (as yet unnamed) when she was just nineteen years old. she was raised in a strict and traditional witching family so the fact that she’d had this child out of wedlock AND that the father wasn’t a witch didn’t exactly land well. regardless, they let her stay in the family home but it would soon turn out that the child was cursed. according to a member of tsukidate family (i.e; sho’s family who, as i said before, are on good terms with kojiro’s family and who are also knowledgeable in the realm of curses), the curse determined that the child would die on the day of his twentieth birthday unless he was able to kill the demon associated with the curse.

as if the judgement from her own family wasn’t enough, the curse brought with it a lot of stigma from the witching community and so his mother made the decision to leave home by herself when kojiro was a year old. all she could afford was a small, one bedroom apartment but, so long as she and her son had a roof over their heads, anything was good enough. kojiro would live a relatively normal life, going to school with other children his age and away from other witches, but his mother would teach him what she knew. although she wanted to him to live as easily as possible, she felt she had to prepare him for his inevitable encounter with the demon. kojiro grew up knowing about the curse too. there was no way to keep it a secret --- even if weren’t cruel to hide it from him, the curse had left a visible mark on him (still working out the details of what this looks like and where on his body it is but it basically looks like a tattoo to most people).

when kojiro turns eighteen, he decides he’s old enough to face this demon and claim control of his own life (maybe i’ll write this as an actual drabble / piece of writing one day bc i’m reeeally brushing over it here). it had been trapped by his family and forced to lie dormant until kojiro would arrive to take it down. what the demon reveals to him, however, changes everything. there is no cure to this curse, the demon tells him, everything he was told is a lie. the curse, it turns out, has tied the demon to him and the only way to kill the demon is for kojiro to die along with it. the reveal is this: when kojiro born, they took him from his mother for a short time. i want to emphasise that her family are pretty shitty people because they decided this would be the perfect opportunity both to punish her and to solve a very specific problem -- getting rid of this demon. the same member of the tsukidate who ‘diagnosed’ the curse was the one who put it on kojiro. i’ll explain the actual curse and story behind it (and the demon) in more detail at a later date but the basic gist of it is that kojiro’s family lied to him and used him as a disposable means to an end. his mother, for the record, was entirely unaware of this. but what else does the demon tell him? although the curse cannot be lifted, it can be held off. this demon thrives off death and, through death, it can stay strong and continue to keep kojiro alive. if it grows weak and it is not sustained, kojiro will grow weak along with it and inevitably die. kojiro informs the demon that he will not kill anybody. that is out of the question.

a month before his twentieth birthday, kojiro kills a man. he had tried to forget about everything the demon had said, tried to forget that his own family had set him up for guaranteed destruction, but it hadn’t been easy. it had set him on edge and he’d become unstable. he’d fallen into a slump and his friends grew worried for him. yet, after a while, he came to accept it and tried to make peace with his life as it was. he put it to the back of his mind as best he could. but he’d discovered that the man his mother had been seeing over the past few years since he’d moved out to live on his own was abusive. so he killed him. everything the demon had told him risen to the surface and he’d asked himself does it matter if this guy dies instead of me? after all, kojiro was curious. he didn’t really want to die and he had wondered if the demon was telling the truth. to this day, kojiro doesn’t know what to believe but it’s much too late for all that now. he followed his mother’s boyfriend home and broke his neck in a dark alleyway. thanks to the magic he’d been taught growing up, he was able to ensure that nobody every traced him to the accident and, when the clock struck midnight on his twentieth birthday, kojiro broke down crying with relief.

he wasn’t dead. he still isn’t dead. he’d never wanted to die. over the years, the killing has gotten a lot easier. over the years, the answer to that question comes much quicker; if somebody has to die, why should it be me?

[sunnysidewrites]

Wolf!Wonwoo

Requested by anon: The Wonwoo fic and Taeyang fic are so freaking cute and they are so well written too omg! Please write more fics for the both of them as they're my favourites (: Wolf!au? Thank you ((((:

Requested by anon: Wolf!au for wonwoo or woozi! Thank you and I love your works!!

so i got the same au request i hope both of these suited your taste! LIKE I SAID I HAVE OVERWHELMING FEELS FOR WONWOO SO THIS IS PROBABLY LIKE THE LONGEST HEADCANON I’VE EVER WRITTEN THIS IS SUPER LONG OMG BUT I HOPE YOU ENJOY EVERYONE!!!! BACK AT IT AGAIN WITH THE WONWOO IMAGINES :)))) if you weren’t satisfied please send me another request!

oKAY NO LIE I WAS LITERALLY THINKING ABOUT THIS LAST NIGHT

I was lying in bed and was just like “hm you know wonwoo really resembles a wolf????”

aND THE NEXT THING I KNOW I HAVE 2 REQUESTS ABOUT THIS AU LMAO

I love jeon wonwoo anyways

You lived near a very dense forest with your grandpa

Since it was a small town, there could only be so many things that could happen before word travels

Ofc nothing ever happens in your small town the most eventful thing was when the local market ran out of your favorite potato chips like honEST TO GOD

But as of late there’s been more signs of wildlife in the forest and everyone is lowkey freaking out like what is this we haven’t even had livestock in 80+ years????

Thanks to the dense forest there’s been showing a steadily increase in deer population yay!!!! But also what!!!!

With deer ofc comes…………

Wolves

Packs and packs of them

You’re worried for your life what if a wolf is gonna attack you one day since you’re right next to their habitat!!!!!

Your grandpa is just like lmao y/n chill i was a hunter back in the days we’ll be fine

It was a chillier day than usual in the winter and temperatures were dramatically dropping

You were tired of being cooped up in the small little house so you were just roaming around in front of your porch and playing with the fluffy snow

You smol child were too busy cutely hopping around to notice a wolf lurking behind the trees oH SNAP

It wasn’t until it got a little closer that you felt a strange presence and you know that eery feeling in the horror movies where it’s like …..i feel like someone is there…..

You immediately stopped and cautiously looked around you

You would have missed it if you weren’t so keen about your surroundings bc the wolf so easily blended in with the forest and snow

yOU WERE GONNA SCREAM BUT dude they can probably smell fear that’s not your best choice here

your heart leapt in your throat so you couldn’t have screamed even if you wanted to (you did)

Gdi your grandpa was out running errands and he left like half an hour ago so you’re kinda screwed!!!

The wolf looked so,,, ethereal and majestic with its mix of black, gray, and white fur and it was still pretty young

It looked more like a wild husky so beautiful i love dogs

But you obviously didn’t have time to soak in their beauty you were about to get eaten for pete’s sake

You were very very very slowly backing away from it your door was only a few steps away

buT IT KEPT INCHING TOWARDS YOU LIKE PLS LEAVE ME ALONE ALL YOU WANTED WAS TO MAKE A SNOWMAN (it doesn’t have to be a snowman im sorry that joke is old)

You decided that maybe since this winter was harsher than normal it was hard finding food

So once your back hit the wall yOU SLAMMED & LOCKED THAT SHIT

You rummaged through your fridge to see if you could find absolutely anything for the wolf to leave you tf alone

“Aha!” you grabbed a piece of red meat and cut up a fourth of it into smaller chunks

You were pretty damn smart like we’re talking about how a pre teen be doing all of this

You brought your cutting board to your window and sure enough the wolf was still outside your house yiKES

You cautiously opened your window and you could see the little ears perking up

You threw the pieces as far as it could reach the wolf in the hopes of him leaving once he’s gathered his meal

At first the wolf jumped back in surprise like ??? what’s this human doing?????

After a few minutes of inspecting the meat the wolf cautiously approached the makeshift meal and started to gobble all of it in seconds flat

You’re just like,,,,,,,,,,,,,, that could have been me oh my god,,,,,,,,,,

After it finished eating it looks back up to you and even from afar you can see gratitude and hints of,,,, sorrow??? in its eyes

It turns back to the forest and disappears as fast as it came

All your little body can do is slump against the door clutching your beating heart like i WAS GONNA DIE TODAY

You thought that would be the last time you were gonna encounter a wolf but there wouldn’t be a plot then lmao

You managed to prevent any more wolf encounters as you grew up and by the time you hit 20 you have been successful

But all good things must come to an end

You decided to go to a college nearby to still help take care of your aging gramps but the school isn’t all half bad it’s pretty decent so good for you reader!!

It was now winter break aka the longest school holiday your college granted you with so you decided to return home and spend some Quality Time with your grandpa

Your grandpa’s health has been declining more apparently than ever

One time you had to rush him to the hospital because he fell unconscious and you were trying so hard not to tear up and be strong the whole time

You stayed overnight at the hospital despite the nurse insisting you return home but you just camped outside the hospital room and slept there

You woke up to a random blanket on you and you figured it was just a nurse who knew better than to convince you

Your grandpa quickly recovered in a matter of days go gramps

When he was finally discharged and you were approaching the front desk about the bill they were like “oh it’s already been paid for”

“What that’s strange I didn’t even get the bill yet”

“Someone walked in last night and said they’ll take care of it for you miss”

You thank her and walk away in confusion like,,,, ofc you’re grateful that you didn’t have to pay but who on earth would do that?????

One day you wanna explore the forest because i mean you lived next to it for basically almost your entire life and you don’t even know what it looks like!

Ofc your grandpa is like do you wanna get killed child um

“Pls gramps I lived my whole life being terrified of that forest and now that I’m older I kinda want to see what it looks like,,,, I’ll stay close enough to have the house in my view!”

“sigh,,,, well you’re an adult now I trust that you can make decisions for yourself so,,,, fine”

So off you go to your death exploring

You’re amazed by how enchanting the forest looks like from within, nothing like what you see from your house

The snow only adds more of a magical sense

There’s a small pond and some bushes where you guess is the deer’s habitat but they probably left to find a warmer spot

You push yourself to discover more about the forest so you inch just a litttttle farther

You see a bridge and think ????? did someone live here or something why is there a bridge?????

And being the curious cat you are you crossed it only to see aNOTHER HOUSE LIKE UM WHO THE

you hear some muffled talking and you’re just likE OH CRAP I GOTTA SCRAM so you hide behind a fairly big trunk just in time before some faces are in your view

You see a group of men around the same age as you and at first they seem to be normal but what’s normal about living in the middle of the woods????

You carefully eye each of them, and you mentally do a headcount of 13

One of them immediately catches your eye and you can’t help but feel a sense of familiarity

He’s wearing a gray turtleneck and black skinny jeans with a gray winter coAT SLJDKFLJDSFLJFDSLJFDLJDFSJDSF I LOVE WONWOO THE MODEL

He seems to be aware of you and he’s like @ the group

“Guys… do you sense someone here?”

And you’re like oH NO MY COVER IS BLOWN ABOR T M I SS ION

And the guys are like eh wonwoo you’re probably being a little paranoid

“Wonwoo it’s been years just let it GO!!!” (what’s up with all of these frozen puns this is unintentional i sTG!!!!) “the last time you said this it was just a rabbit!”

And you’re like ???? what do they mean by that buT I GOTTA JET

You wait for them to enter the house and wonwoo is the last one

He scans the area one more time and does a little head shake before heading inside

you can’t help but feel a tug in your heart because he just looked so disheartened and dejected

And he sWEARS he could have smelled your scent but maybe it was his brain tricking him like it did all these years :(((

Who hURT MY EMO SON wait you did indirectly lmao

You get tf out of there like “i aint trying to die again bye yall”

You’re scrambling to get out of there and when you reach the house your gramps is like so how did it go

“uM I HAVE HOMEWORK TO DO BYE”

Gramps: but??? it’s ,,,, break,,,,,,

You contemplate about what just happened back there

You: i shouldn’t go back i got lucky and didn’t get eaten alive

Also you: but i need to find out more ok it’s settled I will return

Soon enough you found yourself visiting the same place every day and now wonwoo is rEALLY on edge

“gUYS DON’T YOU SENSE IT WHAT THE HECK”

“wonwoo…….. We acknowledge your senses are the better ones out of us but…… you need to let her go”

You’re like omg what??? Her??? Who’s her?????

“You know I can’t do that…… she fed me -- hey wait a minute, is that someone over there?”

OOOHH FUCKKKKK

You’re like oH WELL FUCK MY LIFE

They whirl around to where his finger is pointing and they’re like hmm wait he’s right it looks like someone’s shadow

“COME OUT WHOEVER YOU ARE”

And you’re scared to literally freaking death bc you are not trying to get yourself killed but i mean you kinda had to see it coming tho

So you do what a reasonable person would

RUN

“hEY WHO ARE YOU”

But you just keep running and you eventually get lost in the forest and you’re like oh my god pLS NOT NOW

You’re desperately trying to reroute but you’re pretty sure you passed by that same stump six times

You try to calm down like ok look it’s still probably around noon and the sun is still out you still have time

That is until you hear a crunch of a leaf

And you’re like oH MY GOD NOW WHAT

You turn around to see you’re surrounded by dark black wolves

This is it this is where you die

And you’re trying to find an escape but you’re practically cornered

“Please….. Go find something else to devour……. I swear I am not tasty at all…………… I’m all bones you wouldn’t want that right aHAHA………...”

One of them inches closer to you and you can guess it’s probably the alpha male since it seems to be the biggest

And you’re like welp i lived a good life IM S ORRY GRAMPS YOU WERE RIGHT

You’re in the middle of having a mental breakdown when the alpha suddenly bares his teeth and you know it’s gonna go down

Just as it’s about to leap on you, you see another blurry figure slAMMING INTO THE ALPHA

A full on wolf battle is going on right in front of you

Not only did that wolf come but his entire pack did so it’s pack vs pack

And some black wolves are still trying to get @ you ;))) to devour you ;)))

I gotta go

But obv the other pack is like dON’T TOUCH HER and you’re super confused bc 

Well there’s obviously more than one thing to be confused about but your main concern is why am I not getting eaten??????

You can’t help but notice the one who rammed his body in your attacker has very,,,, familiar looking fur,,,,,,

And you’re like oMG NO,,,, NO IT CAN’T BE HOW

Since the wolf brawl has temporarily taken the focus off of you, you’re like ok this is my chance 2 escape

You don’t get too far like probably 15 feet when you’re feeling really lightheaded and nauseous

You stumble upon a tree and try to steady yourself but the events took a huge toll on you and so you collapse

Right before you do you feel someone’s arms holding your waist up and some yelling

“I… finally…. found you….” you hear someone whisper in your ear before you really blackout

By the time you regain consciousness the sun is about to set

You’re stirring around in a foreign bed and you’re like wait,,,, hold on,,,,,

Your eyes slowly adjust to the dim light and the strange room

You’re fully awake now and start panicking like where am i???? Am i gonna die?????

You see someone’s head on the edge of the bed and you’re like WHO THE

“oH GOODNESS” your little outburst woke him up

He groggily yawns and rubs his eyes “oh great you’re awake!!!!!11!!11”

You just stare at him in 34384682 emotions welling inside of you like pls do not hurt me i just want 2 go hOmE!!!

He starts to introduce himself as Wonwoo but who cARES YOU JUST WANNA GO HOME

“Ok Wonwoo i have no idea who you are or where I am but I need to leave before I’m actually gonna get killed by my grandpa I appreciate you letting me stay here for the time being but I gotta go now thanks i guess??? bye”

And you’re trying to keep your cool and escape as fast as you can but he’s right on your heels

He is nOT gonna let you leave so easily after spending the past decade thinking about you

You reach the outside of the house and you realize,,,, hey it’s the house i saw earlier,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

He eventually reaches you and pulls you around by the arm and you almost gasp when you see the intense look he has in his eyes

“I,,, can’t let you leave just yet”

“Please i’m sorry for snooping earlier!!! Please let m eg o I swear to keep my distance!!!!”

“tHAT’S THE THING I DON’T WANT YOU TO KEEP YOUR DISTANCE”

You: what

Him: what

“What…. did you say?”

“Don’t you remember me? You fed me”

And you’re like ?????????? ?? ???????  what is this guy on

“Uh… Wonwoo, was it? I think you have the wrong person; I don’t know what you’re--”

And it hits you

That day you thought you were gonna die

You look at him completely baffled like how is that even possible???? That was,,,, a wolf

Your breath is hitching you’re gonna faint again that means he was the same one who saved you from being eaten

“I know it’s hard to believe but that was me!!!!! Food was extremely difficult to find at that time and when I saw you…. Well, i was hoping you would be willing to spare me something”

My heart poor little wonu was gonna starve to death if it weren’t for you

“But…. but how….”

“Ah…. well that’s a story for later but the important thing is I was eternally grateful to you and I was determined to find you again,,,, I wanted to return the favor for saving me. Who do you think paid off your grandpa’s medical bills? I hope that blanket was warm enough for you”

YOU’RE FLIPPING OUT LIKE HOW DID HE

Turns out he’s been watching you from afar as his human form as your little guardian angel (or stalker…. tbh) im crying

“You were thankful just for some pieces of meat I gave out?”

“It wasn’t just some meat. You saved me from dying! I hadn’t had any food in my system for a week. I’ve helped your grandpa plenty of times at the market before. I also purchased those textbooks you needed for that math class”

“Wait but my friend gave those to me?”

“Yeah well that’s what I told her to say to you LOL”

gdi your friend was probably geeking out about how good looking he was

And you’re just trying to process this but it’s overwhelming to say the least

“You… you did all of that for me???”

And he’s like ofc!!! :DDD you deserve everything and more!!!!

And you’re like oH MY GOD DID I JUST DIE AND SEE AN ANGEL

“What about that pack from earlier?”

“That’s our rival pack,,,,, I’m so sorry you had to get caught up in our rivalry but good thing I got there in time. I told the others to help protect you”

And you start tearing up because of how gracious and humble and caring he is and he’s like oh nononono and starts to freak out and hugs you

You’re gonna bAWL why is this guy so nice to you he’s even rubbing circles on your back to help calm you down

“I’m not asking much of you…. but can we try getting to properly know each other? You were the only single person to not judge me in my wolf form,,,,, everyone else would throw sticks and stones :(((“ (words do indeed hurt you tho) “and i’m also grateful that you were able to accept me even as a creature that you feared”

you take a moment to breathe and eventually accept bc even tho this is all so sudden and foreign you can just tell he has a heart of gold and doesn’t wanna hurt you

Ofc your gramps throws a fit when you get home and he’s like wHY IS THIS GUY WITH YOU

After a long long talk things are settled and your gramps is like ok fine you can date her or whatever but one wrong move and your head is gonna be hanged here

“gRANDPA WE’RE NOT DATING (yet)!!!!”

“I’m just saying i got my eye on you boy”

You spend the rest of your break getting to really know Wonwoo and try to overlook his,,, alter ego thing,,,, as best as you can

You’re outside making snowmen and snow angels and just being so carefree about everything

You somehow end up in a snowball fight with wonwoo and he’s like ur going down!!11!!

You’re hiding behind a tree and peek out to find him but when all of a sudden someone ambushes you from behind

“I GOT YOU” he screams in your ear while you’re laughing and trying to wiggle out of his arms

You guys stumble and fall with him on top of you oHMYGOHDGHLGDS

Your laughter dies down a little and all you can think about is how close your faces are

He softly smiles at you and leans down to give you your firST KISS IM SCREAMING

“HEY KIDS WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING”

“gRANDPA STOP”

[jameypants1-blog]

The only defense you need with me is why you ignore me and block me from early on when all I wanted was to know what I'd done. I know I'm belligerent and an asshole comes to getting my way, spoiled rotten straight out the womb side effect of my attachment, saw it one night in 2006 was drafting Sermon in the Shell for black and went splash my eyes off in bathroom it was middle of the night and I was thirsty and tired and wired and when I looked in the mirror there it was, my Ugly Disease the thing inside me that I'd never been aware of. My face was Nosferatu but elongated and misshapen really a shock to see bc never had I hallucinated on anything but acid and shrooms and those times were different,just part of tripping and trippy looking. This was my face. And from the lipless shard toothed mouth issued a voice that was not mine but gutteral only as I've ever encountered anywhere else in stefanis head where I never talk to her like other people but in that voice and when she sings it's that voice in her head but the voice she records coming out her mouth. Her dialect is also strange, she doesn't speak or write to me in fluid terms, it's direct and short bursts, not at all poetic, and beyond the songs to me and including them even there is a lack of poetry but persistent selfishness, in her head she growls 'i want my Monster' as if I'm a doll being deprived and she thinks this all the time it overlaps whatever else she's processing to blurt out some weird vague answer, ask her if she likes eggs she'll respond that she's not afraid of them. She's dead. But it's not and until the girl it hijacked blows a vessel or has an anyuresym it's doing it's best to get it's Glory, kill the Monster. She wants her doll I'm hers and what's keeping me from her is some angry people my best friends. I accept that she's very likely not the same woman I was married too bc she too was dead and they stay dead these Jinn partners they attach to themselves their kids the whole world destroy human beings and that's Elite. Intolerable Caesar indeed. If she is the same woman I married if anything Alive is in there I want to save her, not to have back a wife I never had but so she can experience Life, they took the most talent little girl they could buy and created her in anticipation, just in case I'd some survived all the breaking they awarded me not just my Legos torn asunder flesh whipped to bone fucked by the aristocrats into a bloody scrap of meat she chewed up but broke my heart, literally ate it as if that anything to do with what they, she, took. Unless you and Glenn and Trent and Maynard and Neil and Thom and Daddy and on and on are just hateful and don't like me bc I just suck she really is my Enemy and my Ruin. 'Free Yourself' the Ugly diseased voice sneered. Then receeded not disappeared until it was just me, wide eyed and Shaken. Pure contempt. It's still there. It's female. But got a gutteral sexless voice. That's what I'm married to. Stefani asked If I liked Joanne. She has to hire people to help her write and can no longer distinguish if it's good or total crap. Perhaps another jaZz album is in order, let some dirty old man at the Tramp. Break my heart and be rid of me once and for all. Look if she's just the remants of the most sickening human sacrifice to selfish scatterbrained hate then ok they hurt me killed the perfect girl but I won't follow her down again, I just need to go find out and her weird request to be easy with her she's more delicate than I think isn't a strong woman it's a scared cunt made out of these manipulating liars attempt to I guess spite good teach god a lesson for insolence to assholes I dunno but I'm not leaving till they learn a lesson too and I'll take her away if I can let that girl be whoever she wants to be with whoever she wants and I'll be back to where we were long before she rolled in at my lowest to win the Glory of her Red Crown, after which they'd have been done with her and she'd be asking someone else if they liked Joanne bc she can't tell shit from sunshine and she isn't afraid of anything. For two days now I've asked for a straight answer to two simple questions. Am I yours? Are you mine. I have been answered with questions completely unrelated and asked if I think she's smart. I think she was. I think she was the beautiful human being ever to be unlucky enough to be born here and in the big poison apple to pink Floyd fans. She's not mentally Ill she's just a dumb whore and I'm sick of that Evil cunt ruining LIFE, no wonder God is gay Saul, the only altrnative is back to that over girl can't stand me, gives me static and blame when I am not fucking Evil or conning any of you, first I can't have two wives then I can't have either bc theyre both the same and besides She's inside me anyway and I've never figured out how to beat that contempt, 'free Yourself'. So whose dick I gotta suck get a little assistance then? I am asking for help. And probably not from you Fionna, you probably 'want your Monster' but you also can't have me bc my dad and friends aren't in the mood to watch the big dummy go RUNNING straight to my xecution again boner flopping ahead of me straight to Chambers teach me who I am yet again. Ok Glenn, I'm an idiot. Guess Death did part me and the old ball and chain so please fucks sake fellas forgive me I'm not belligerent about any of this. I'll not let a dead girl murder us again and the world that came that close to being saved we're it not Jesus Christ the slave of Lady Allah and Miss Apple the only two burnouts and only two girls Inside, sure some suicides but they knew me and faith no more Jamey, all her songs are me me me and that's all you sing anymore too. Free yourself or die in chains. And everyone stuck here surrounding the cage. Something's pulling you away from me I daresay she meant. But hey she did bring me back so can we at least get her a tiarra or something sparkly token of thanks bc thats the only gratitude she grasps, hard sparkly stones set in soft yellow stones, very Classy. Stefani wtf are you teaching me about myself that this rarified Cunt just like you but not already didn't when I thought for a minute she was who I'd been looking for but couldn't have been bc she didn't come running when I sent the kite hey baby I'm here come get me 20 years ago. Fuckin squids.. Fiona Apple - Sleep to Dream: https://youtu.be/L9Wnh0V4HMM

[smol-pilots]

code: calico

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: role play fuck my brains out bc i just virtually sucked someone's cock and got nothing in return

Stranger: why did you do that?

You: that's not a bad question

You: idk i thought i'd get something in return

Stranger: i guess so. some reward :D

You: yeah exactly

Stranger: it's like in movies, why girls are sluty

Stranger: they want something in return

You: hah i mean it's only fair isn't it?

Stranger: i think its kind of self deception

You: that's also not a bad remark

You: i always blindly believe men

You: i mean not blindly but

Stranger: we believe what we want to believe.

Stranger: so the important thing is what we want

Stranger: i mean, people want to "live happily ever after"

You: tru

Stranger: they imagine family, love and so on

You: but what do i want

You: i don't really fit into that tbh

Stranger: o.k., so what do you want

You: i mean i don't want family

You: i guess i wouldn't mind love but i don't expect it

Stranger: o.k., maybe you want relationship?

You: i don't even know what it feels so

You: i can't really feel any romantic feelings towards people?

You: it's kind of

You: sad actually

Stranger: do you feel like life is meaningless?

You: yeah

Stranger: maybe out of boredom you just try to have some "fun"

You: i mean exactly

You: i don't expect anyone to love me because i know i probably won't love anyone so

Stranger: oh

Stranger: by the way

You: yes?

Stranger: one good song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=voi-aQlvP68 heard it yesterday in a movie

Stranger: stange movie, "Calico Skies"

Stranger: strange

You: i'm listening to the song and i really like it, thank you!

You: noted, i'll put it on my to-watch list :)

Stranger: what you said reminded my of the lyrics of this song

Stranger: she's kind of sad because she knows a man will love her, be she will not so much

You: okay i really like the song??? the voice is so nice also i rly like this type of music

Stranger: do you watch Game of Thrones?

You: i watched like 2 season but then i stopped hhh you?

Stranger: i watch it. yeah, 2 season was impressive. the red wedding, isn't it?

You: yup

You: i see there's so much drama now hahah

Stranger: :) yeah, they lost it, i guess

Stranger: the beggining was building impressive,

Stranger: anyway

Stranger: you are f or m?

You: f

You: you?

Stranger: m

Stranger: so why girls suck cocks, it quite nonsensical

Stranger: gross acitivyt

You: i mean tru but i guess it's for the dude's pleasure? also it's kinda fun to have so much power over someone

Stranger: yeah, but this is zero sum game - pleasure for the dude, but for the sucker what?

Stranger: nah, it never appealed to me

You: it's a lot of work actually but i guess all of this is just giving and receiving

Stranger: i think physically it's quite troublesome

Stranger: for a woman

You: i mean it usually takes time??

You: and then everything just starts to hurt bc the dude can't come that fast and it's just

You: uh

Stranger: yeah. crazy stuff

Stranger: but people do many crazy things :)

You: hah that's true

Stranger: what's your country?

You: uk

Stranger: old good uk :)

You: hahahahh

You: you?

Stranger: russia

You: oh nice!

You: ive never been there but i rly want to go to moscow

Stranger: come sometimes, we'll drink a lot of vodka together

You: oh my god no vodka always kills me

Stranger: :D

Stranger: it kills everyone

You: that's like my top three worst drunk moments all involved vodka it's the devil

Stranger: ha ha ha

Stranger: wine is also tricky, it is very intoxicating

Stranger: try a lot of red wine

Stranger: you'll see :D

You: i love wine tho

You: but yeah it also hits pretty hard hahahah

You: how old are u tho?

Stranger: 28

You: ah i'm 24

Stranger: vow vow, we would make a perfect pair :D

You: hahahh we really would :)

Stranger: anyway, why people always try to pair at all?

Stranger: natures call?

You: i have no idea

You: i mean is it really tho

You: i don't think it's nature, it's the culture

You: the society

You: everyone is always shocked when i tell them that i'm single and i don't want kids because they're like??? but how??

You: everyone expects things according to the society they live in and it's kinda annoying sometimes

Stranger: yeah, it's quite strange. everyone want to live by that stream: family, kids, happy life. no alternatives

You: exactly

You: it's like i'm obliged to live my life by this rule

You: and i'm weird if i don't follow

Stranger: but even if people remain single, they want to get romantically involved

Stranger: that is also strange

Stranger: it's like some software inside of us,

You: tru. i sometimes catch myself wishing i'd have a boyfriend and a house and two kids and a dog bc i remember i wished for all that when i was a child. and then once again i see that my parents told me that this is how it is? you get older, you get married, have kids, a house, a job and that's what i also wished for when i was younger

You: i was raised by these values

You: and now that i'm older and i don't want that anymore but i feel like at the same time a part of me maybe still hopes that one day everything would just go the way a young me dreamed it to be

Stranger: when i was younger, i also had dreams about family. and all people about 20 yo i know have the same. almost all.

You: really?

You: what do you want?

Stranger: with time i have seen that this is very big struggle, family, kids, relationship, and "you do not get what you imagine". so i drop those young dreams. they were not realistic. it was illusions of young person. i did not know life and did not know the world.

Stranger: i want to rise above the problems of this life. to get free.

Stranger: not to get entangled more and more

You: the first part!!

You: i really believe that this is what contributed to the majority of crap i had to go through as a teenager and up to this day

You: u see but how does one get free

You: i feel like time to actually! enjoy this life is running out and at the same time i feel there's just sooo much left of it and i'm just passing by, doing things that don't make me happy

You: (bc i don't really know what makes me happy)

You: (imma go brush my teeth and shit i might be gone for about ten minutes okay?)

You: (and shit does not mean take an actual shit i just meant it as "and other stuff")

Stranger: o.k., yes, please do the needful. i'll have some time to reflect. :)

Stranger: i see it like this: I want to be happy just by existing. To rise above my own mental structures, that don't let me feel happy, don't let me feel light and content. I think, if one in his soul "takes everything very easy", not burdening himself with so many false ideas about why he is this or that, and just tries to be, to exist authentically, as a being that is free, then it is good state of consciousness.

Stranger: just to feel that lightness.

Stranger: do i need to do something for that, some big projects of life? I dont think so. Just need to give up some mental stuff. It's all in the mind.

Stranger: if man will simply change his mind, he can be happy. And so many jobs, responsibilies and relationships will not make him happy. It will be just a lot of troubles.

Stranger: anyway, we are all after happiness. the only question is, where is that real happiness

You: that's actually a very interesting perspective that i do find myself agreeing to but at the same time i feel like in theory it sounds ideal and simple but it's really hard to just let go of what's in your mind

Stranger: you are right :) it not easy

You: i was very hung up on the happiness thing as i felt unhappy all the time. and i wondered whether or not you're ever really happy in life. and i asked my mother (u know the older the wiser or smth) and she said that happiness isn't really a long period of time but rather a moment here and there that makes you happy to be alive

You: and that thought made me really sad at the time because i always felt like happiness is something that comes in time - when you get older, wiser, more experienced etc but now i'm discovering my mother wasn't really wrong?

You: at least that's how i experience life

You: my colleague tho, she lovES life. literally loves it. the most positive bright cheerful happy person i have ever seen w my two eyes. and it's just weird bc what did she do how did she achieve this bliss how can she see this life so full of good things

You: it's just

You: so weird

Stranger: it depends on what we do. I think, it's real assessment of ordinary life - happiness are just rear and fleeting moments. but i my life there were some periods where i felt very happy for considerable periods of time. no i do not feel so happy. and with age, happiness diminishes, i think, because the body begins to make a lot of problems. then one is not as energetic as before. and you have to work and survive with less and less energy to accomplish that.

Stranger: i thing technologies, computers, internet steal a lot of happiness

Stranger: i went to asia for some time, and after few months i revived the joy of life

You: that's true but it's also what made it really tough to keep living - that it won't get better in time. i was really sad and depressed for the majority of my teenage years so being alive while people kept telling me it's only gonna get harder wasn't really a good thing for me i guess. but at least my expectations weren't that high hahah

You: that's true but at the same time i depend on them to distract me from life so it's really in contradiction

Stranger: it can get better

You: ohh where did u go

Stranger: it must

You: i mean that's what i want to believe but like someone give me idk an age at which it gets better hh

Stranger: with good strategy, there is way. i think so. because I experienced it for a while. I does not depend on the age

Stranger: i may be unhappy for the rest of my life, if i do not try, and stay as i am

Stranger: but if i will apply whatever i learned about happiness, i may achieve something, as i had before.

You: that's a really nice and positive thought

You: i'll keep it in mind

Stranger: if there is hunger, there must be food. so if we are hungry for happiness, it must be out there. or inside of us.

Stranger: oh my god, it's 1 am here

Stranger: forgot myself while talking this stuff :)

You: but it's just so annoying my time is ticking?

You: hahahah

You: i really enjoyed it tho

You: it's rare to find someone to have this kind of conversation with

Stranger: o.k., lets think of a keyword by which we can find each other on omegle again.

Stranger: :)

You: okay

You: :)

Stranger: i know. "Calico". you'll find me by this.

You: good one. i'm going to write it down so i don't forget :)

You: also so i don't forget to download the songs

[survivor-switzerland]

EPISODE 8: I ASKED LIKE FOUR DUMB QUESTIONS - JEV

Rip Queen Renee

Renee if you're reading I'm deeply sorry for not being able to do anything or just me being a sissy on making a move. I really did want us to work together but I couldn't do much because I didn't have the numbers or the balls to save you.

Okay... Now it's time to get my shit together...

Sidenote: I've been addicted in sending gifs since we lost that challenge so whatever...

Anyway here's some refreshing tea. So yeah before the vote I was talking to Nick and I brought up the possible advantages that the remaining OG Matterhorn have and he said to me that he thinks Abel has it since he was quick to pin the idol on Daisy. Nick then said that if Daisy did have an idol then she would have used it to save her allies, BUT wait here's the most interesting part. After like hours I back read my convo with Nick because I was bored and I noticed that he removed the message where he specifically said Abel's name. That's alarming and I promise I am not making this shit up! I know he dropped Abel's name.

Also some other news I think this vote strengthened my bond with Brett maybe?? Idk if he was just telling me all this stuff to not let my emotions overturn my vote since he was telling me about how I'm his favorite takeaway from this season, how I'm so like his boi Keegan and how I'm so calm when playing the game.

Me? Being calm in this game? Does he even know how I have been this last day?! I was like this.

Now that we got this challenge, we ABSOLUTELY MUST WIN THIS CHALLENGE!!

I have a feeling I'm channeling Brittany for this challenge cause I have no clue about survivor players. I have barely watched any full seasons!!!! Oops !!! Google to the rescue!!!!

EPISODE 8

I went out on Day 19 of Tumblr Survivor: Myanmar. It is now Day 20 and I have officially surpassed my previous self in length of stay--just not quite in placement yet. What can I say? Trevor was super hard for double tribal councils. I still have to survive 3 more tribal councils to beat my placement.

I am now a part of two alliance chats--one of my choosing and one that I sort of got roped into. My first alliance is with Ashley Sarah, Ian, and the kidnapped Tyler who may or may not survive the next vote if we win. Then there's an alliance I've been thrown into with Dom (whom I adore), Nick, and Benjamin. If we lose this upcoming immunity challenge, I am going to be a fat cat desperately trying to squeeze through a fence. It's not going to be cute and I stand to lose the most.

The immunity challenge was Guess Who: Survivor Edition. I am very familiar with this challenge because in my last Survivor game (the Facebook main), I went out on a final 4 tiebreaker on this challenge. My opponent and I tied for the best average in the ORG's history, but since we had tied, it came down to time--mole style, and I was slower by a few minutes. Oh well. At least I won Player of the Season. Anyway, I volunteered to take the lead in this challenge. I did this for two reasons:

1. I'm easily the most methodical person (NOTE: not the smartest, but the most methodical) on this tribe of teenagers and Ashley Sarah.

2. I can't trust these goobers to play this smart and I don't want to go to tribal council.

Nick, Dom, and Benjamin were also available to do the challenge with me, but I made absolutely certain that I was in the driver's seat--it was a risk in terms of people perhaps perceiving me to be bossy or think I'm smarter than others, but when weighing that with the possibility of going to tribal council, I erred on the side of keeping everyone safe instead of just myself. We'll see if it was the right decision long-term.

Our team had great luck in the initial wearing down of the roughly 400 options. In the end, we nearly always floundered at picking the right person in the last 2-3 options. We were the worst. And I was fearful because if Monte Rosa had some good luck juju, we would be going to tribal council with me leading the march as the captain of the challenge. Yikes. Fortunately, we won by 3 questions, defeating Monte Rosa!

I'm definitely worried for Tyler's well-being. I don't see them voting out Logan because Logan collaborated with a lot of those goobers in the demise of Trent, Daisy, and Lily, so I can't see why they wouldn't continue to work with him. Hopefully they see Maximilian as an unfriendly, antisocial booger and send them to the curb, but that would just be wishful thinking, wouldn't it?

I'm so mad at myself, I asked like four dumb questions during the challenge and we pretty much lost because of that. Now I'm worried that I'm going to be in hot water with the rest of the tribe because they might blame the loss on me. 2/3 of the people who helped me with the challenge I am aligned with or have previously been aligned with so hopefully they don't blame me and I'll survive this vote. Wish me luck :(

So... Me, Luke and Zack are talking about the vote and we are all in agreement that we want to take out Max or Logan this round. Personally I feel like the smartest move would be to take out Logan as I worry he has quite strong social connections with a lot of people in the game, while Max is just kind of there and blends in with everyone, so not much of a threat to us right now.

I'm going to keep both options in mind for now, but if this round goes the way I want it to then Logan will be the one getting snuffed.

So I wake up at around 6AM to see that my tribe had already done the challenge lol and we ended up winning!! Woo amazing!!

So hopefully Tyler remains alive on the other tribe and a merge comes in after this round. I don't know what's gonna happen at Monte Rosa's tribal so I'm praying Tyler survives. I'm worried since the information I got from Renee (I MISS YOU!! PLEASE FORGIVE ME!!) is that Abel and Zack are close. Abel and Luke have been together from the beginning and they could very well include Jev because he's OG Matterhonr and Logan could stick with Luke. Hopefully Tyler uses his connection with Zack to survive. Ideally I'd like another OG Matterhorn to go but I don't see that happening.

Ciao!

[5/14/17, 11:42:04 PM] Abel: you’re a taurus

[5/14/17, 11:42:11 PM] Abel: i’m a leo

[5/14/17, 11:42:13 PM] Daisy (Bahamas Host): yeah!

[5/14/17, 11:42:15 PM] Daisy (Bahamas Host): oh cool!

[5/14/17, 11:42:33 PM] Abel: no not cool tf our signs hate each other!

AND WE DID HATE EACH OTHER

So after the first swap I was the king. I had my whole tribe eating out of the palm of my hands. They were sheep being led to slaughter. I was running the show I knew that much. And then suddenly everything changes. I picked Zack and allowed for his clique of home of sexuals to be on my tribe because I figured it would be safe. And while I do feel safe I'm not necessarily happy with this tribe. I'm back to being Zack and Jev's bitch and now they have Tyler so unless Luke has a change of heart it looks like Logan and Max are fucked. Max seems nice but idk much about them. Logan on the other hand is a gem and I feel so bad that he's in such a sticky situation. I honestly am not scared of Logan and his friends at the merge? Like I think I've built enough relationships in enough places that regardless of what happens at the merge that I'll be going pretty deep.

Whew that was close!!!! Thank the lord Brett and nick know their survivor players and guessing tips!!! Mvps!!!!

TRASH. ZACK AND JEV ARE TRASH. SO OUR IMMUNITY STREAK OF 1 HAS COME TO AN END BECAUSE THEY WANTED TO MESS AROUND DURING THE IMMUNITY CHALLENGE LIKE THE FUCKFACES THEY ARE AND NOW WE'RE GOING TO TRIBAL BC THEY WANTED TO THROW THE CHALLENGE AND KILL LOGAN

Okay so... apparently Luke and Zack have decided that the vote is going to be Logan tonight... without really consulting me?? Like I'm down to do it but I wish we were talking more about it rather than Zack just being like "Jev you do this, Luke you do this and such and such will do this" Like... does he not realise it could possibly go wrong?

The whole plan is for Me/Luke/Tyler/Abel to vote Logan while Zack throws a vote at Max just to be safe, but if Logan pulls out an idol then it could be a tie between Max and one of us if he's on to it at all. I'm just so STRESSED because I don't want this to bite any of the three of us in the ass.

At this point in the game, I know I've been super fortunate to have TC #8 be my first! And to be very honest you would think I would be upset that we lost but I'm really not.

From the start, Logan has always been nice to me to my face. But what he doesn't know is I know what's gone on before this game started. I know that he has a friend who I've once played with almost a year ago in another side org and he hates my guts. Logan wanted to vote me out the first second he got once we ended up together on original Monte Rosa. So I've just been WAITING for this moment to strike back before he's able to give me. The soul reason I even chose Logan over Ben in the tribe swap was because I wanted to vote him off the first second we lost an immunity just to retaliate. It's sad that I have to base this vote off of something that happened before this game started, but I have to protect myself at all costs. Not to mention he's in the same friend group as Dom and Nick! Which is just a nightmare waiting to happen if the 3 of them get back together. So I'm ready to get this tribal over with in all honesty because there's a new force to be reckoned with in Switzerland.

Hey so i just wanted to make a quick confessional. Nothing has happened for us but if we don't merge or swap after this, ian is probably going to be the one going. but i hope we merge wooo

This round has been by far the messiest to date, I've heard things about the possibilities of idols, ties and even rock draws and I don't think I've ever felt more paranoid in a game ever. I've ended up putting down Logan's name and I feel sO BAD ABOUT IT because now he's telling me how he really wants to survive this round because he got 13th in his original season and now I'm going to feel awful if he leaves.

Btw Logan, jsyk this really wasn't my idea and if you leave I am so so sorry that this is how it turned out for you. You deserved better.