#but anyway each spin only has a 0.5% chance of being an xxl reward | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lucysweatslove · 1 year

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My Unique Vintage dresses came.

I currently have the dresses in my “bribe myself to do tasks I struggle with” rewards system (this is a complicated system I designed to help motivate me to do things like eat vegetables and floss, but the gist is: so tasks, earn “spins” or “chances,” which in turn can give me different sizes of rewards. I can use 1 to randomly select a reward from the size, 2 to choose the reward, or 3 (or 5 for extra small rewards) to trade in for 1 of the next size.)

I really really want to try on the jellyfish dress (and the rainbow dress, but it’s a size smaller), but I a) haven’t “earned” it yet, and b) I don’t know how I would take it if it didn’t fit/was too small. Part of why my rewards system rn is working for me (I’ve been brushing my teeth and flossing regularly for a couple months now) is the anticipation giving me dopamine. So waiting in this context is going to be more dopaminergic. Also, It’s not a good body image day nor is it even a good body acceptance/neutrality day, so I do not have the emotional energy to effectively handle them being too small. So they are currently folded in my closet.

I do hope I can “earn” the jelly dress this week or next though, and that it fits. Rob’s friends’ wedding is the 27th I think and it’s supposedly casual dress but I think the jelly dress would look really cute (and it’s not like any of my other more casual dresses are appropriate and fit right now). I have time to “earn” the rainbow one since that one will (hopefully) be my Pride dress, and Pride is in August this year.

#FWIW the dresses were expensive enough that not only are they in my xxl reward category but each one is two rewards #like I have them separated into like ‘1/2 rainbow dress’ or ‘1/2 jellyfish dress’#anything $30+ goes in there but I wasn’t expecting to buy dresses that were like $80-90+#hence why I decided they really ought to take two rewards to do it #I now have 5 things in that category since I already got 2 things from it #but anyway each spin only has a 0.5% chance of being an xxl reward #I’ve spun one recently and traded up for another so I technically have 2 #but to get the dress proper I need 4 since I wouldn’t want to risk spinning and not getting the jelly dress #since there are only 5 things I don’t feel like there is enough randomization or chance of not getting what I want if I used an RNG #so basically for xxl rewards I need to use 2 #really I designed the xxl to be only for very rare things but then these dresses happened #I can always change the rules but then I would end up with a lot of xxl rewards and not enough items to actually get #I’d have to start trading down but then by the end I would have to spend more money to keep the system up #which means I wouldn’t be able to keep it up and it wouldn’t give me the dopamine and I’d stop doing good for me tasks #I did say it was complicated yeah?

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