#but an f bc homework was apparently weighted v. heavily
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@black-dragonize it's like splitting into two versions of yourself & one is rod serling doing narration about "a girl, quiet for too long… contents under pressure…" looking ppl DEAD IN THE EYE while violently shaking up a bottle of soda with a mentos in it… then rolling it into the frame of the episode itself where the second you, UNAWARE OF WHAT IS COMING NEXT, despite SEEING this obviously frothy coke roll to you along the ground, then opens the shit in slow motion with dramatic music like fucking "platoon" as you #2 goes "OHHHHH NOOOOOOOOOO" and rod serling you is still staring @ ppl like "see??? I know right" and before the closing notes for the intro clip play, has the AUDACITY, while the other you is still SCREAMING in the bg to say sth like, "a thirst for knowledge can be a messy thing… in the twilight zone." and you're also the fucking can. you are three entities. the can is your brain. soda = id, you freaking out about it = ego, the detached you who instigated all this shit but can't stop it now = the fucking superego. beat THAT, tatiana maslany. luckily, in elementary school, my blown gaskets were on stuff like making my handwriting eeeeeextra small & precise (I got in trouble for this more than once bc it made me a pain in the ass to grade when you gotta hold a paper 2" from your face to read it), always reading ahead, drawing on Every Piece of Paper, fidgeting, and generally spacing out… by the time I hit the outburst zone in mid 5th grade on, we'd just moved, so I lowkey reinvented myself as The Weird Girl & rolled with it… I wasn't "Not Like Other Girls" JUST bc I didn't care for Britney Spears, it was also bc I would occasionally burst into song & dance, or walk funny if the mood struck me, or say some off the wall shit about aliens, or spend a whole day not talking to anyone w. my nose in a book and come in the next day yelling nonstop about dragonball z… and it was all effortless lol. we moved again tho & my sr. high classmates had not grown up alongside Weird Gena so they had no fondness for her… neither did my teachers, who also were flabbergasted that I could kick ass on the psat but fail english by not doing ANY homework for a year… but Weird Gena did not go gentle into that good night & uhhhh it turns out she is Unkillable™ so long story short if I don't sleep enough, I dr. jekyll / mr. hyde into this like fuckin'… tasmanian devil bugs bunny ass version of myself… my true self… and the only cure for it is patience & rest.
#blackdragonize#black dragonize#replies#i genuinely do not know if this makes sense bc i haven't slept in over 24hrs now so… I'm In The Zone™#also i can't think of good sr. high examples of shit my teachers disliked bc real talk i was v. depressed at that time#but like i failed 3 classes my freshman year on purpose bc i am… tf dumb#principled but an incredibly flagrantly stupid move lol#geometry was bc i was getting a low b/c & if i failed i cld retake it for grade forgiveness#so i threw the final… biology the professor was a prick who had sth against me ig so abt halfway through the year i was like#fuck it FUCK IT i'll go to summer school i'm literally refusing to listen to or interact with you anymore#(worth it)#english was… i was mad bc i'd been in advanced english in 8th grade so i did a 9th grade curriculum already#but it was in another state so the high school didn't accept that & i went on a homework strike. 100% on all tests & quizzes & participation#but an f bc homework was apparently weighted v. heavily#so… i took 9th grade english three times in order to protest & say i shld've only had to do it once.#tho tbf the third class which i did in summer school was the best & the teacher was black & v. into theater so i felt validated anyway lol#</that segue>
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