#but am gonna pratice lots to get back into the swing of things!

[galeemdoesart]

Heyyyyyy

Long time no see! Uploading again feels suuurrreeallll. Hope you guys like this. Will probably post more as I am on vacation hehe <3<3

[datingadviceonreddit]

'ello, Reddit. I wanted to ask for some advice on a situation I've been going through and something (or not) needs to be done soon.But first, some context about myself:I have been suffering with depression, attention deficit, insomnia and anxiety for at least 8 years now, but the formal diagnosis only was done February when my psychiatrist confirmed it all and put me on some heavy meds for each of those issues. My core problem, which I came to realise after two years of throughout reading on psychology and learning about yourself, appears to be an intense and constant self-loathing that causes (and is caused by) insecurity, shyness, self-demanding, feelings of inferiority and uselessness, lack of energy and focus, paranoid overthinking and overacting, placing trust and being a doormat carelessly, along with other things that really complicate my life.I won't discuss details of personal events as I think I'd lose the direction of the post, but I can share that my love life has been basically non-existant and shitty otherwise. As a teen I had a crush on a classmate that ended up being emotionally crushing to me due to my extremely immature mistakes and for the past few years I was in love with one of my best friends from university, but I fucked up as well and my current situation is the consequence of that. I think I am more in control of my feelings nowadays but I still have issues in acting upon them, as I am utterly terrified of taking things the wrong way and ending up being a creep, an idiot or worse.Now, to my situation:Since August I've been teaching English in a language school and a co-worker that teaches Spanish always seemed interested in me, due to the signals I get from her. I am a reserved person and have become much more lately due to other issues in my life, so making friends and other relationships have been extra-slow on my end, to the consternation of my superiors who want teachers to be at least in talking terms with each other. This has been mostly remedied as I became friends with pratically everyone in the past two months, and this co-worker of mine was the first one that I befriended due to taking Spanish classes with her as the teacher. She had been sending signals before we got closer but I ended up more confused than anything.Anyway, I started to suspect more signs as we befriended each other, especially because we're both very talkative people and end up turning a short Spanish class into a two hours-long conversation about pretty much anything. I find her very gorgeous and attractive, but only I truly got interested in her when I started noticing a lot of similarities between us, in terms of personality, interests and personal life. Another teacher even said I was basically a male version of my co-worker after I talked about how daft I am sometimes.Sure, there are some very big differences as well: I'm a vehemently passionate anarchist that mostly only listens to heavy metal and I barely give a shit to fashion, while she has a less-engaged awareness of politics and cares about always dressing nicely while enjoying some more popular music, for example. But I haven't felt any attrition with these and it seems she hasn't as well. We're both clumsy, insecure, emotionally tired, slightly crazy, funny and open-minded people, to name a few points in common.She usually gets very close to me and is kinda touchy, more than I'm used to when dealing with friends, specially when we're in the teachers' room. Our co-workers have sometimes say some suggestive things about us and she's even told me about some of these comments that I wasn't around to hear. A few weeks back she was talking a lot about how she wanted to go watch the Justice League movie and I ended up bringing up the idea of going with her, which hasn't happened yet because we only have dubs in our city.I even looked up body language signs just to see if I can be sure about this: feet and body pointing at me, playing with her hair and untying while swinging it L'Oréal style, eye contact, attention, smiles, touch, all that sort of stuff. On my birthday I got a rather long and tight hug with some really happy wishes along with it and we've teased each other quite frequently, to name a few more examples.I know these seem like too many details and that I might be overthinking too much, but due to my insecurity and the fact that I am usually very observant I have been pondering on how to act on this, as it's traditionally expected that the man is in charge of the first steps (I HATE this tradition, dammit) and she's talked about herself enough to see that she can be kinda slow, even self-sabotaging, in these situations.I wanted to give her some chilean wine as a gift and maybe act a bit more obvious in my intentions, so that we can finally let it happen. But not only there's my fear of being wrong: there's more.She's going to another country for two months next tuesday and the whole trip revolves around her ex that's from there. They haven't seen each other for years and they've been quite cute with one another through messages. We've even been joking with her that she's gonna get married and is never coming back (I laugh but I cry inside everytime), and her mum even made her promise to return. She's been really anxious about the whole trip and, while I think I know her enough to be sure it's not all about her ex, it seems she expects this to work out in the end. Probably more in a "I want to date" manner than a "I want to date my ex", I think.I was going to gift her the wine yesterday, already very unsure, and knowing these details made me give up. I have no idea if I should even give it to her anymore, even in a "friends-only" way, because not only I don't want to look like a creep and/or an idiot (in our WORKPLACE even more) but also due to the fact that I honestly wish it ends nicely for her. I'm not in love with her, that I'm sure, but I have quite a bit of affection for her anyway and she deserves things working out just for once. So, basically, I'm even more afraid of being too pushy and somewhat "sabotaging" everything, and as I said about myself before it's the sort of situation that makes me cringe depressively.I apologise for the long, stupid text and for how weird it/I might look like. If anyone could give me some advice it would be dandy, even more so if it's soon (got to make a move or not until tomorrow). Thank you all for your time, anyway.TL;DR: Paragon of insecurity [M23] thinks attractive co-worker [F24] is interested in him, but has no idea how to proceed and she's going to travel to meet up with her (maybe-)ex in a few days. via /r/dating_advice