#but altaïr is a dead man who exists on the edges of desmond’s mind and has also been used by a templar because his assassin upbringing made | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

quietwingsinthesky · 6 days ago

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Sorry I need to inflict cursed thoughts. Someone needs to teach bleed!ezio about modern condoms before he accidentally produces another desmond baby. Wikipedia tells me he narrowly missed condoms being put into use, which makes sense considering how many illegitimate kids he's implied to have-

alsjdkfjksjdkf sitting him down with a banana and a condom and teaching him how to put it on and pinch the tip. this is a fun learning experience for him, i think.

#depending on how like. functionally independent/consistent we imagine desmond bleeding his ancestors to be #where on one side of the scale is ‘he just gets vibes from them and hallucinates like he is them’ and the other side is ‘no that’s like a #whole guy who exists simultaneously in desmond’s head’#anyway if its the latter teaching ezio condoms is probably the third or fourth most important thing the gang can teach him #……….sorry immediately got distracted by thinking ‘here’s how ezio/lucy can win’ but aksjfkfj four-for-one boyfriend package. (<-and haytham #ask #i should have an ac tag #latter thought actually mostly spurred by my desire to have altaïr and lucy talk *somehow* because i feel like they’d have a lot to chat #about. and in her position that it might feel like talking to literally anyone else risks her and them.#but altaïr is a dead man who exists on the edges of desmond’s mind and has also been used by a templar because his assassin upbringing made #him easy to use! and i think they would have some stuff to talk about.#(lucy voice) its actually completely normal to get life advice from the 900 year old dead ancestor living inside your situationship.#ezio auditore

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