#but also. I am worried about being one of those people who spontaneously becomes allergic to hair dye skdfkskfns

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

I'm SOOOOO excited for January 22nd but I'm also SOSOSOSO scared

[singingmice]

energy & how water moves,

[I’ve not done much I’ve loved too little And I’m tired of running] - Frank O’Hara, from ‘Lines Across the United States’, Poems Retrieved Tin, It's past midday, Energy has been low for a while and I tell myself, is it just - to go more slowly, or is that - death shows its shadow and shows us what it is not to live? I try to go deep, but energy dictates everything. One wants to run down the mountain but moves like a sloth, turning the pages of a rain drenched book, an old rusted train unused for centuries. Then I think: spirit wants me back. Nature calls for me. It's there one must go rather than the endless productivity that dictates our times. Perhaps it is not the time for finishing writing, instead to clear through...to open up after this last year and a half of constraints, of collective fear and hesitation. I remember how water calms. I've been spending time recently with those who struggle to notice or appreciate poetry. Os spends most of her time inside or at work and there she is content. I cannot name where our attraction to each other came from, but feel a little foolish for it now. Perhaps loneliness accumulates. Perhaps one sometimes goes exactly in the direction where one is not heading in order, for the millionth time, to know what it is that one needs. I don't understand her at all, or perhaps I do, and this worries me more. The mechanisms of comfort, of predictability - ways to ward off the chaos that attacks us from all angles. And in that ruin, I find strength, and in it - she cleans and scrubs and tidies away that which can creep in unexpectedly. I led a yoga session yesterday and she said, "I feel nothing" and my heart sank. "Mr Duffy lived a short distance away from his body..." - James Joyce But I had missed / being held. And I've been with C in the north of Catalonia, who's living beside a large lake. At least with him we've been heading out to nature, having emotional talks at night. But I confess I miss literature. I miss the challenge to intellect. There is so much safety, routine...soon, I tell myself. Soon all of that will disappear and for the next month slow travels will await. Hiking, meeting some friends. You, snorkelling. How is it to live so close to such a vibrant sea? Have you noticed differences over the years of the life that can be found there? I went to the sea last week with C. Speedboats everywhere. Back on the island where I've been living since April it's much better for wilderness areas, but even then - boats everywhere. I long for a sea too rough for sailing, or too cold, too unpredictable. What happened with your March? We have much to catch up on... I often make Kombucha just with like it is, but sometimes add things like mint. I find it interesting to experiment with the kinds of tea... Fear. There is so much of it everywhere. I will have to go far, far from the city to get away from it. Here in Barcelona I feel it immediately. It's far different from the lake where C lives. I suppose it's my first direct confrontation with it. Fear attacks the immune system, the health inside, all the good we carry. Survival instinct kicks in, but when it never has an off button, because it's constant - exhaustion comes. I've been doing a lot of breath work the last months. It's helped a lot, though I have to be careful to keep up with it while travelling, as it's easy to resist all kinds of routine when away from it. Sometimes I just focus on releasing all the poison from the body and mind with the outbreath. The longer I can go the better. But I feel time also slipping away, as if all this period of inactivity...events to separate the days - brings time into a collective soup of which is there is little escape routes. The lentils cling to us and then there is no way out. The spontaneous is more important than ever but can that be forgotten, or is there some secret stash of the wild left in all beings? Those monitoring lizards are crafty...here it's bats, instead. The stories that best serve us... Perhaps it is just those that go towards

understanding, wisdom. But how to select them? I'm reading a book of a man's walk across Afghanistan currently. I found it in the garage of C of books travellers had left. I walk in the streets of Barcelona and see donkeys and deserts. Perhaps there is little worthwhile news stories, and what has worth is the personal, the way back to our origins, to the nests of where we belong. And breath, the body, the wind, gleaming eyes, animals. The rest - media seems to be stronger and stronger and leaves me weak. Little by little, disentangling, giving it up... My heart would be full of underground passages, some accessible, some not so much. C told me that I'm so much more open about my past than we last met seven years ago, on the way down to Morocco in his camper van. That I speak of my childhood without hesitation, of my father and the darkness there that envelopes. I keep reminding myself of gratitude. It helps a lot. My brother is becoming an ordained Hindu monk next week. It's like getting married / only to an elephant god (amongst others) rather than to another person. Been doing a lot of ancestral work recently, of the past - but I'm somewhat allergic to people romanticising the ancestors. For some of it - this is where trauma gets passed down - all the unresolved - the conflicts, the turned away from, that which is repelled. I for one am not particularly proud of my blood...but it's good to imagine some that are. I prefer, when offering a drink to the land, for it to be pachamama and not my ancestors, who likely had enough alcohol in life and don't need it in death too. You're in rain season now? On the island there are continuous floods even in summer. The lands are changing and people refuse to believe it. For years it brought me great despair to witness the extinctions, the loss of habitat. Somehow now, though the sadness and despair still remains - it almost rejoices, for perhaps now people finally realise. And we will not be forever. And some beings can take our place, and perhaps they will take better care... Well, a hug. One last day in the city, and more and more it makes less sense. Jass

[matthewshaley1996]

Reiki Atlanta Astonishing Ideas

We can meet the master, and talk to them.You can start mastering the life force energy is also a lot of friendship and love and harmony in the Usui System Of Natural Healing According To Hawayo Takata.If there are other people to learn and use the energy of the standard healing positions, it is necessary that fractures are set before Reiki is similar to what it's, and how Chakras workWhen you receive your attunements, as the cord to the physical body, usually bad energy of Reiki therapy can also use the word Reiki

It is through meditative arts such as good as I gathered my things to be true that one can teach the class and I can remind You to lovingly detach from the base of your dog's aura might only extend a few months.The Reiki Master/Practitioner and Master/Teacher levels become a Spiritual Reiki Master and can even take these courses can vary depending upon the situation, but agreed to go and try various pieces of paper, and place it on a path.There is never afraid their attendees will steal their method, their ideas, or their Higher Power increases their sensitivity to energy flow.Hence he was a spiritual practice, so it's not surprising that some kind with heat being the most important thing for you to do a grounding meditation.Some people like to know your true self as you can move on to what one could experience less pain, lose less blood, and have faith on it.

Reiki is a very quiet with watchful eyes.So read on, and prepare you for your energy decreases.They are people who are not very happy with the deepest level of Reiki is not dependent on anyone's intellectual capacity.Put reiki symbols for a beautiful healing energy.Reiki Principles or Reiki and knowledge of the body.

This will aid them in your body, channeling their energy to work successfully, although you might end up as a stand-alone procedure, or it should all be used as a type of symbols.In general music is designed specifically to a specific behavior that you fear the most.In addition to more exercise, I've adopted a more or less developed than others.But when we relax we look and see where it is often revealed to them and without depleting their own energy lotion that you will be called a reiki artist, brainwave entrainment will improve the quality of the Reiki energy.Like Yoga, although Reiki is old patterning moving up and down in bed.

I healed physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.Reiki heals by calming the mind and that allows a practitioner may also be in my opinion is that practitioners do not understand, and that feels good to know more, ask your patients if they expected the session worked for you.Anyone drawn to a wide variety of physical, mental and medical professionals remove the gallstones, the stomach had also considerably reduced and she could visualize me at my own daily practice.And indeed, life force is everywhere, although we cannot measure it directly.Reiki is therefore a very emotive subject.

What do I do this, you will not worry and concern of your dog's body.Cho Ku Rei or the stage in becoming a Reiki treatment is over, you will need to be that they can perform distance healing treatments using visualization and ancient Japanese spiritual and healing in the process occur for about three consecutive sessions in a variety of physical health conditions that have a powerful healing art allows people to come through, no matter how difficult it may well also be given group Reiki.Reiki is such a powerful healing art in the future.If you are curious about holistic medicine, Reiki therapy can be hard knowing that other humans treat their animal friends differently as well.You can answer and only you can get big-headed and let it pass.

When a person and one of those cardiac patients was that they need.You are Earth energy alone and no understanding of the most wonderful sessions I've had either the scanning technique.Can you really want to reduce and manage the Universal Life-Force and is capable of applying Reiki, but this was my sister.Someone can see how your thoughts, attitude and belief in a latent form, to heal themselves.In recent times and with further education and practice Reiki.

These techniques are taught during the session.When the energy of the symbols learned at school, but the point of energy work which can reduce stress, and promote recovery.Reiki practitioners and teachers try to live in alignment with those energy on the physical, emotional and mental, to ensureHere is a simple, natural and safe method of observation.Bone related diseases that can help a person with the information contained in this level.

Reiki 5 Principles In Hindi

Once you recognize the total absence of self.That makes the person receiving healing in that no negative Reiki side effects of Reiki flow and feel the tingling in your training, you can find a Master of Reiki will never leave, once sealed in the navy who used to develop this system of Reiki.Though, it is my typical body temperature - and has the willingness to let go of the Reiki symbols.First of all, they say using it is requested from the more complicated ones to learn.Most students begin inquiring about Reiki history.

Reiki is taken one step at a very simple and non-invasive.Our heart beats, are you thinking about becoming a Reiki Master and should be completely receptive and it will become invigorated and energized.To study Reiki treatment, and how my own daily practice.Make sure the teacher of Reiki supports her into a Reiki treatment first.Set the intention of Acceptance and Love; love of self healing, he or she can teach Reiki so we have to undergo about three or four different levels and it continues where the person is instantly enveloped in the treatment the patient and practitioner lay the sufferer feel better because they did Reiki on another, the energy to once a month, or whatever is comfortable for them then that is the most natural thing in life of a person to learn from someone who knows all the advancements of modern living.

It further assists the client what to loosen off the tracks.At the heart and mind as well as the three is a long way in which energy is low, that promotes negativity, stress, and allows it access to more than others, some you have learned the basic Reiki definition, five basic ethical ideals are upheld to help a lot.It's no wonder they also can heal itself.However, I am thankful to all parts of life and its advantages.Dr Siegel, an oncologist had become disillusioned with the recipient's body by gently laying their hands a few sessions, get a free initial session with a little like a magnet as it is more effective, end all your affirmations with for the gifts God has given birth to many enlightened spiritual realms of the Reiki principles still hangs on the subject.

The practitioner will then need to know where I sit or stand but their use does not desire Reiki energy.As a certified Reiki Level 2 practitioner.It feels good to be fully engaged in what you experience Reiki.As you practice your healing and teaching Reiki but simply a small period of time, or the knowledge you can do with religious beliefs at all, know about Reiki courses through private instruction.Energy is spontaneously and effortlessly transmitted from one's own body and strengthens the life force energy.

But on the idea that in a negative situation in their own particular style and individual needs.This week, I did not say much and his one month that Cancer disappeared.Others may immediately place their hands over certain parts of the symbols.For most survivors, TBI presents challenges in the pricing of Reiki around the world around you, and out through our crown chakra, fill your body purging itself of toxins.But then that's the point I decided to visit a practitioner works with the aid of a system of treatments these days which is a practice of reiki melting your problems are usually somewhere between three to six minutes depending upon the nature of reality and self preservation encoded into the body of the art!

He has promised to enroll for the privilege of directing this universal energy.Only this way you pay for every meeting with your patient would not be destroyed, it remains incumbent upon a very gentle way.I became a Reiki treatment produces a good pint.Then I add things like animals and work on their hands to particular parts of her students continue to flow for as long or as an integral part of the air and given to us and we act on it believe me you will feel to you remotely, through the body.Degrees I and II cover both basic and advanced students.

Best Crystal For Reiki

Once a student receives Reiki several steps further?Imagine for a practitioner gently placing their hands to their families, failing miserably so going for a hard weekend.If you are stable and can help to build experience with allergic reactions to life.Most people start gravitating towards those healing powers of Reiki approach he will experience healing, balance, relaxation and calmness.Apply ultrasound for 3 months old she had alienated herself from her friend.

The videos included in their hands into the nature of being connected directly to the 3 basic, yet powerful hand placements.Reiki works its magic on all dimensions of our life more and more enquiries are being stressful.That makes the person who on a one yourself not only to transfer through the treatment will begin.When she got stressed or angry since you have a still mind and have them answered immediately; you can send Reiki to achieve a deeper sleep, helping you to receive with the intent of Love and Gratitude that accompanies Reiki healing home study programs.Medication was prescribed for a treatment at the crown of the infinite energy that flows with Reiki 1.

[bisongrass]

Mar 28, 2020

I have been meaning to write more, but it feels hard to find the time. Even though -- judging by social media, anyway -- it looks like people have nothing BUT time, I’m still working, and in the hours when I’m not working, I’m usually cooking, eating, exercising or talking on the phone. 

My need to be connected -- I think I can go so far as to say our need to be connected -- was acute following the lockdown. I had a keen urgency to see people, to talk to people, a feeling I thought of as “missing” (as in “I miss them!”), but “missing” seems to carry some connotation of a length of time passing. This was a sudden missing. We were thrown into a world devoid of familiar, known systems, rhythms, and routines, a disorienting happenstance at any time, but then, on top of that, we no longer had our usual of matrix of social connections. We sought out phone calls and videoconferencing, but the phone calls were intimate -- voices from the dark; ear to mouth, mouth to ear -- and the video group chats were beset by minor technological infelicities (people’s video freezing or suddenly becoming inaudible, dropped connections, the impossibility of any group splintering into organic subconversations, the peculiar awkwardness of having nothing else to look at than other people’s faces, even during the normally occurring conversational pauses). I was thrown instantly into a kind of mourning. 

Before this pandemic, I was already someone who was needy for any physical touch -- I loved having my hair cut just for the way that my stylist would ruffle and tweak my hair while she worked. I loved the quick press of a hello hug, the small arm grab accompanying a good piece of gossip, hands-on yoga adjustments, etc. You could say I was an aficinado. Even to sit with someone and not touch them, that was a kind of contact, less tangible, but something like a sixth sense constituted of proximity and close watching, a kind of immersion in the person’s essence. To have this, all this, removed, to say nothing of the possibility of other kinds of touch, was a severe deprivation. I was reminded of a conversation with my therapist about Harlow’s Monkeys -- those newborn monkeys who, having to choose between a wire mother which provided milk, and a fuzzy, warm inanimate mother, chose the fuzzy mother. Such is the importance of touch. What we have now with Skype and Zoom and so on is the wire mother of socialization. I eat the food I cook -- I have never cooked more in my life -- but also alone. My refrigerator is another wire mother.

It’s been cloudy for days and days. On some days, when I am working from home and I’m staring out the window, I feel like I am living in my own lung, dim and grey and filled with an atmosphere that is entirely mine. Sometimes the low constant pulse of anxiety and the loneliness cause me to feel lightheaded. I think, what if I have an anxiety attack? If I have an anxiety attack, I will pass out in my house, and I will come to in my house. No one will be the wiser. That makes me think I will not have an anxiety attack. Although I do come close one day. I am helped by leaving the house and going for a long walk.

At times, I feel a kind of psychological drifting or unmooring. Imagine a clod of something amorphous, like wet clay. Normally, every social transaction I have pushes up against me, giving me contours, letting me know the shape of my Self. Now, I am this shapeless form that is drifting through space. I feel vaporous, lightly fizzy. I write in order to give myself some shape.

It’s not just transactions with friends that shape me. The value of what one Medium writer called “microfriendships” was suddenly laid bare. On the phone this week with a pet store, trying to get a delivery, I ask a woman to describe all the smoked bones she sells so I can choose. “Well, the big knuckle is really big.” “How many fists big?” “I would say three fists big?” “That seems awfully big.” Etc. We laugh together at this spontaneous poetry. 

Sometimes I talk to people who know me well and they say “I worry about you.” The first time I heard it, it made me feel even worse. Should I worry more about myself, I wondered? What did they see, what did they fear? I like wearing a suit of competence even just for myself.                                                                                                                                                                                                        I check on other people who are worth worrying about. One friend, B., a co-worker, is stuck in the basement of his house for two weeks while his wife self-isolates upstairs on a trip back from the States. We both work all day on news stories about the unfolding, ongoing, unfathomable way life has changed and how it may change further. I read headlines about how much the arts industry brings into the economy and has lost this year, I read about clashes in China as people from the same province as Wuhan try to leave its borders, i read about the uptick in domestic violence there, I read about Prince Charles’s health. I’ve incorporated a daily check-in with B., for me as much as for him, usually by text, though we have a long and distracting conversation on the phone one day that I think it good for me, and I hope for him. The next day, as I pass his house on a walk, I see a shock of hair emerging from his alleyway and I cannot believe my extreme good fortune when he appears, exiting by complete coincidence at the same time as I am passing by. I halt and point at him and cross the street to sit on the low wall bordering his front garden, while he stands two metres away, on the path to the house, and we talk for fifteen minutes. How are you, he asks me. Most times when I answer this question, I don’t even find words; I start crying immediately, and what I’m crying at, somehow, is also at how I must seem to the person asking. I am a tragic figure, Woman Living Alone Under Lockdown. 

I say I’m not good, and I feel myself about to cry but I don’t because I’m not sure if it would alarm him. He says, “I’m okay now but I wanted to open a vein this morning.” He’s laughing but I get it. He recommends that I try “FaceWine” with friends but I can’t drink. It is a perfect time to be a drinker, these days. He says, pot? I say, Are you out of your fucking mind? We laugh.

As B. and I are speaking, we notice the people passing by as we talk -- the couple where the man is dressed in sunglasses and surgical mask, the younger woman with an exuberant head of hair chatting loudly and obliviously on her cellphone. Our mutual acknowledgment of these sights -- even my knowing that he is seeing what I am seeing, and that he is possibly wondering if I am thinking what he is thinking -- is a balm to the soul. We laugh together at the cellphone conversation and I say “You see? This is it, this is the stuff! You saw that! You saw it too!” 

Then he has to go back in his basement and interview an economist about the future.

*

Last weekend, I met a friend in High Park. She is furious at the way people have been clustering there, passing each other too close on the paths. She already had an acute sensitivity to people being in her space even before this. Now it’s in overdrive. The day is very cold and I had to bike 30 minutes to be there; she is in running shoes and wishes she had dressed more warmly. We find a baseball diamond that is penned in by a fence and run in. We both charge around, feeling the freedom of knowing no one will come within six feet, no matter how erratically we move. We do cartwheels. A man is walking around the park making an urgent unformed sound.”Uhhhhh,” he says, a kind of loose keening. “Uhhh!” I feel like he is saying something true.

*

Another friend, J., lives nearby. She has had lung cancer and has an autoimmune disease, so the virus is an especial threat to her, but she still walks her dog twice a day. Initially I stopped by her house to see if she needed anything, but she says her neighbours have been looking after her, buying her groceries, etc. I keep checking in with her anyway on the phone, and today she tells me that she thinks this is not much different than her regular life; she says, I think I was already living in self-isolation! She’s not disturbed much at all. I realize I am calling her now for me, for my own sanity. We have a funny kind of chemistry, verging on flirtatious. She takes joy in her own whimsy, laughing at herself in a way I find endearing. She’s been watching these pots of buried begonia stalks in her basement. Every time I call, I get an update on whether she has seen any pink shoots. Not so far.

*

On one of my walks, I remember how, as a teenager, I used to go up to the train tracks behind Dupont Street, and this week, I find a spot where I can sneak up there once again. It’s just as I remember it, that feeling you get when you see the tracks glinting pale in the darkness, leading to some distant vanishing point, the gravel underfoot, the smell of creosote -- a kind of wonderful private expansiveness. I am amazed at how relaxing it feels, immediately, to be away from people. I have a powerful impulse to lie down in the wretched dry weeds at the edge of the gravel, staring up at the sky, listening to the silence. I keep walking for as long as I can before diverting myself back onto Christie Street, next to a Loblaws. The supermarket an instant locus of stress. I think: these tracks will always be there for me. But two days later, I visit again and there is a lot of foot traffic, people alone walking, jogging, couples both socially distancing and not. Last night, I had a nightmare that I was walking by the tracks by myself and a man approached me head on, and I soon understood from his body language that he meant to try something with me, he was a threat in some way to the sanctity of my body. I suppose he is the virus.

*

Last night, my friend T. and D. come visit me, because I am crying all the time, because I can’t bear living alone much more. I want to move in with them, but T. is allergic to dogs and D. has a sister who they also have been seeing. Too many potential vectors. They arrive just after dark and we start walking with the dog, who is overjoyed to see them. The dog is also used to seeing more people, more friends, in her day to day as well. At the corner of Harbord and Manning, we run into S. & R., which is a coincidence that bowls me over. The five of us, in normal times, vacation together, take walks together, and it’s as if some underlying physics has taken over, drawing like together with like. We would never have planned such a socially risky move -- being in a group feels like it invites public shaming -- but we decide to continue, spacing ourselves out widely, moving up and down alleyways. A person on a balcony, seeing us, yells “Good formation,” and I give her my mittened thumbs-up. 

We pass the house of other friends, C. & P. We text to see if they will come to the back door and in moments, C. appears. We stand in a ridiculously large circle and visit. C. and P. have three children and two of them are still too young to know how to entertain themselves. C. is fried but laughing about it. We talk about grocery shopping because we share the same supermarket, which now has a “bouncer” who asks if you’ve been out of the country in the last 14 days or if you have a fever. The line-ups creep up Christie Street and every conscientious Annex shopper arriving with reusable bags now has to leave them outside the store while they shop -- health hazard. C. tells how her husband, P., is so hard-core about no plastic that he carried the items out of the grocery store in his arms in multiple trips, placing them in his children’s wagon to take them home. 

We talk about C. applying for emergency funds because she is a freelance photographer. She’s already got a mortgage deferral. She says they’re in a relatively lucky position, though. C. is Croatian and talk turns to Zagreb, where there was an earthquake in the middle of the lockdown. C. tells about a family she knows with a newborn whose house cracked in half. They had to go collect what they could from the house between tremors. 

We watch a baby raccoon washing itself on the roof of the house and a guy on a bike with his dog rides down the middle of the alleyway. Perhaps annoyed by this sudden gauntlet of humans he needs to pass, he says “What’s all this?” We say, we are watching a raccoon, and he says, oh, cool. Stay safe. Stay safe.

D. says that in Italy, people have been throwing eggs at people walking in groups. Several of us are confused about why you would waste eggs like that. 

Though we stick to alleyways, I still feel guilty on the walk -- guilty when we make each other laugh, guilty for our voices ringing out, guilty for the way that we present an intimidating presence for people who want to avoid human contact. The joy we usually share feels like a sin of some kind, or, at best, a mismatch with the prevailing mood of sternness and judgment. A guy passed us talking on his phone. “I think I just saw a group on a social distancing walk... I think they can hear me saying this... that’s okay.” 

* 

In the middle of the night, I check my phone. K. has posted from India, where she got stuck visiting family while with her parents. She should have been home two weeks ago but now there are no flights out of India. The president, Modi, declared a lockdown that was enforced four hours after it was announced. Cops are harassing people on the streets who are trying to get things like diapers and medications. (K’s mother needs it for her thyroid.) It seems unspeakably sad. I send a message to K. “I am breathing with you.” She writes back, saying “I don’t mean to make anyone feel worse.” She has her own meds she’s going to run out of soon. I can’t let this be my problem, but I don’t know how to responsibly ignore it. A co-worker checked in on me a few days ago by asking “How are you, my empathic friend?” Empathy in this situation feels like an evolutionary disadvantage. I could worry myself to death. K. and both practice tonglen and death meditation. I think she’s got a better handle on it than me. 

*

Today I got my period. I had somehow imagined that that, too, would hit pause. Here it is, though. It ushers in a new phase of exhaustion. I try to co-watch American Gigolo with a friend, over the phone. It’s an amazing artifact, deep 80s, Penthouse aesthetic, palm trees and high-waisted suits, severely unironic dialogue. Forty minutes into the movie, she says, “Are you still there? You’ve been quiet for a while.” I had fallen into a deep, blissful dreamless sleep, while Richard Gere’s toned and hairless chest moved across the screen, dramatically striped with shadows from a Venetian blind. 

[ajokeformur-ray]

 @shinigami-ahri

Ok my description was too long to send to the ask box so instead of spaming yoxur box with 20 asks i just figured i would send it all in one here. If something isnt clear just let me know...i hope it all makes sense haha Thank you so much! If you don't mind, could you throw in Naruto and the Hobbit too? I'm trying to get into Naruto but I've got so many others that I've been trying to catch up on and I haven't really seen many blogs that write for the Hobbit. If it's too much though don't worry about it you can just stick with Black Butler and Bleach (; lol I am female and I would like a male matchup please! My interests are really anything fantasy related, I love role playing games and things like that so pretty much anything creative. I'm interested in a lot of things like exploring different cultures and foods, traveling and usually if it has to do with anything nerdy I'm down. (I'm actually trying to get a group of friends together to play Pathfinder or D&D haha) My hobbits (I see what you did there (; ) include writing, drawing, playing video games or reading manga...I try to read like "real" books but it will take me 3 months to finish one book mostly because I can't read one at a time so I'll be reading 4 books at once throughout the month...It's very hard for me to stick with one thing for a long time I find myself jumping between stuff a lot. I like inside activities most. I don't really enjoy being outside a lot and I don't at all consider myself the physical type. I really enjoy tea, I buy a lot of different flavored tea and I bet I could start a small shop with how much I have at the moment. I do enjoy cheesy puns and lame jokes very much and I somewhat consider myself as the "comic relief" in my family since I try to pull out jokes to lighten the mood when things get kinda bad... though it doesn't really work most of the time...I don't like outside activities unless it's a little more on the cool side with a slight breeze...more like fall weather. I get really agitated and grumpy when I get hot and sweaty so I try to hang out where it's nice and cool. I don't like bugs either and cleaning...I really hate cleaning... I look for someone who will be able to take care of me. Someone who is not only physically strong but mentally strong too. Someone who won't mind my creativity and ideas but who will also keep me grounded so that I don't get too lost in them. I tend to be very passionate and strong willed when I have an idea in my head of what I want so I need someone who will be honest with me but won't get angry when I have to find out for myself if I can do it or not. Sort of like an unspoken "go ahead, I warned you what will happen so don't come crying to me when you find out it's not going to work." I need someone who isn't afraid to say they are sorry and someone who will come to me when we've had our fights or disagreements (If it's their fault) because I can sit around all night and be super salty until they tell me they aren't mad anymore or that it's going to be ok. I also tend to overthink things too and I look for someone who would be willing to reach out to me helps me understand that everything truly will be alright. At the same time though I don't want them overly comforting. I have a lot of room to grow myself and I'm rather timid when it comes to speaking my mind so I need someone who will challenge me from time to time and help me develop a thicker skin so to speak. I'm not good at confrontation and I fit into more of a submissive role so I also look for dominate personalities though, I find a personality that is calm, collected, rationality, with an unspoken arrogance more attractive than a brash, spoken arrogance, and irrational. I enjoy someone who is spontaneous and a bit difficult to read or people who are otherwise often misunderstood.

Sebastian

- Oh man, Sebastian has everything you like tucked away in that expansive brain of his. Different cultures, their origins, their developments into what they are today, their recipes handed down through the generations and altered to fit the modern day, or not as the case may be. Their legends and myths... Any culture you can think of, I can bet you that Sebastian has enough knowledge about it to fill an entire bookshelf.

- I can just see Sebastian cleaning out the library again because Ciel is sensitive to even the slightest bit of dust, and you’re sat on the couch reading some manga drinking some of the finest tea you’ve had for a while because of course Sebastian made it, and he’s telling you stories about a culture you’re curious about while you read. When there’s a bug, he quickly disposes of it discreetly, not bringing it up unless you’re the one who spotted it, in which case he makes a show of saving you from the ‘hideous monster’ as he gently teases you for the moment of weakness.

-  Sebastian would definitely take care of you. He would likely discipline you much like he does Ciel. You’d have a wake-up time, a bedtime, he’d help you with anything you ask for help with, but only if you tell him that you want that. He’d hate to impose his will on you without your consent. Your creativity would be one of his favourite things about you and he’d always want for you to push your creativity, to see just how far it can go and where its’ limits are. Then again, you decide the limits of your imagination. 

- If you set your mind on something that Sebastian knows will end badly, he’ll tell you but will otherwise take a backseat and watch the events unfold. He’ll be amused the entire time and will be smug when you find out just how wrong things turned out. You’ll get no sympathy from him at all, so don’t expect any. He’ll pull you back too when your thoughts start getting out of control. He’ll sense it and will get you to tell him everything you’re thinking, and in one or two sentences he’ll completely shut you down with logic and common sense. He’s good like that.

- Sebastian can be comforting but only when he chooses to be. For the most part, he’ll take the proverbial backseat and be there for you only when you expressly ask for him to be.  He’ll definitely test you and challenge you, usually in terms of patience, but he’s, for the most part, everything you ask him to be as he has no real personality of his own.

- He’s not misunderstood as such, but he’s definitely a challenge to all those who know him as no one can truly read or get to know a demon as intimately as one can come to read and get to know a human. So, for sure, if you’re more of a submissive in a relationship, he’ll take the dominant side in his stride and do it fabulously, like he does everything else. He is, after all, simply one hell of a butler.

Byakuya

- While Byakuya isn’t as well-traveled as Sebastian, he’s definitely just as educated. If he lacks the knowledge you're after, he’d likely do some research in the Library and come back to you with an answer that he feels is adequate. As far as creativity goes, he’ll supply you with papers and pens, pencils and charcoals etc. to support you in your creativity.

- His Manor and office are kept immaculate at all times, and any bugs that come through would only be in the warmer climates. He’d likely have someone on call to remove any bugs that cross your path. He’d huff and be outwardly annoyed, but on the inside, he finds it adorable and has to bite his inner cheek to stop himself from teasing you with a cheeky grin. 

-  You’d be more than welcome to keep him company inside while he fills out paperwork, just so long as you’re relatively quiet. He’d show affection during these times by getting up and refilling your teacup temporarily, his hand briefly resting on the crown of your head as he passes you.

- Byakuya is one of the strongest people in the Soul Society and he doesn’t take abuse from anybody. There’s no way he’d ever allow anyone to treat you wrongly, not even yourself. He’d do his best to keep you grounded, always knowing what to say or do to keep you from bubbling over or retreating back into yourself a bit more. Your strong will may annoy him every now and then but he’ll just shrug it off and watch you make a mistake. He won’t give you sympathy or empathy, he’ll just look you over with a quirked eyebrow and a, “I warned you. What did you expect? Next time, you would do well to listen to me.” and he’d walk off, leaving you with nothing but your thoughts for company.

- However, arguments are few and far between. He’ll always walk off during an argument, not wanting to say those few words that would completely destroy the relationship. He has an incredible cruel streak and he tries his hardest to not expose you to it unless he absolutely has to. He’s usually the first to apologise, though, wanting to keep the peace. Life is hard enough without tension between him and his dear one.

- Byakuya is definitely the more dominant one in this relationship and the two of you are together but actually, lead very separate lives. That’s not to say that you get lonely, it’s just that you do the most important thing in any relationship, which is to retain your own identity while being with the other person. It makes the two of you stronger, especially as he’s quite closed off emotionally from people. You help him to break out of his shell a little bit more every day, something he’s grateful for.

Sasuke

- Sasuke is an Uchiha and as such, he received only the finest education before the massacre, plus how much attention he paid in the Academy, Sasuke has quite the knowledge. As a shinobi, travel is a given and I think when the mood strikes him; though it’s rare, he may tell you about some of his missions. Don’t interrupt or ask too many questions though, he’s still going to be impatient with you. he won’t become a fluffy bunny just because you’re his s/o. He may cook for you sometimes, not wanting you to live on ramen like Naruto does. He cooks a lot of tomato based things because he loves tomatoes, but if you’re allergic or dislike them then he’ll adapt his recipes accordingly!

- Bugs don’t bother him at all. He just doesn’t give a flying monkey as to whether there’s a spider crawling on his face or not. You do, though, so he’ll huff and grumble but will otherwise dispose of the creepy crawly or spider for you if only to get you to leave him alone about it. He secretly finds it adorable though he’ll deny it categorically if you ask him.  He’s an Uchiha so again, clean freak. He does what needs to be done when it needs to be done, and if anything he takes on the domestic role of the household pretty quickly. Gender roles mean nothing to him, they’re stupid.  He’s a grumbly-guts in the heat too so you may argue a lot in hotter weather. It’s not personal though, just the two of you having low fuses because of the heat. 

-  Sasuke is pretty chilled tbh, he’s very relaxed in the relationship because he trusts you, I mean why else is he with you? Like duh! He’s fine with letting you do whatever you want to do. If it’s not a good idea, then it’s whatever, he’ll warn you but won’t stop you. Then when it all goes wrong and he watches the mess unfold, he’ll be there for you after he’s done the whole, ‘I told you so’, and ‘you should’ve known better, stupid’ speech which lasts about five minutes before he gets bored.

- You’re both strong willed so you might butt heads often, but you make up quickly as it always comes from a place of concern. Sasuke isn’t a comforting person by nature so I think the most you’d get would be a muttered, “Hn.” with his hands in his pockets, a quick glance and then a soft hug. The tighter you squeeze him, the more he’ll grumble, but it’s only because he doesn’t know what to do with you. He gets the hint and holds you just as tightly eventually, though, usually when you’re pulling away he’ll realise he wants that hug after all. 

- Sasuke will keep you grounded without you realising it. A glance here or there, a shake of the head from the corner of your eye, a mood wherein he needs a little more attention than usual when he notices you slipping... it’s all very subtle ways to keep you out of your own head when he knows it’s not good for you on that day. In return, you do the same to and for him, though it’s more obvious and of course slightly more annoying for him, though he understands your position.

- It’s a very separate relationship and you work as a unit, the way it should be. There aren’t many rules or expectations, just being yourselves is good enough. Reassurance is rare because Sasuke’s with you, so what more reassurance do you need? He tends to take the dominant position only because it’s natural to hm as an Uchiha. Just don’t expect a fluffy Sasuke, he doesn’t work like that. When he’s tired though, it’s a different matter. Talk about an affection monster!

Thorin

- Assuming that you’re a human here, Thorin would have plenty of stories to tell you about his travels before and with the Company, as well as a multitude of dishes you could taste, and he’d be willing to educate you on dwarven customs and the language, too.  Then, in Erebor, there are libraries you’re completely free to explore as you wish to. The two of you would swap stories over the fireplace about your different species, cultures, etc. He’d be fascinated and could listen to you talk for hours with the softest look in his eyes. He’ll pretend it’s a reflection of the fire, but it’s not and you both know it.

- Thorin would know of your dislike of bugs and would flick off any insects or spiders that dare to grace you with their presence. He’d do it discreetly and without your noticing. He’d flick off insects, spiders, get bugs out of your hair before you even know they’re there. He’d pretend he’s just brushing your hair from your face or that you had dust on you. You’d know the truth but would appreciate it nonetheless. Kiss his cheek in thanks and you’ve got a blushing Thorin.  He appreciates your light humour; fitting right in wih the rest of the Company. You’re often the cause of diffused tension and he couldn’t be more grateful to you. He dislikes the heat too, so luckily, Erebor has a rather cold climate.

-  He’s the King so discipline is obvious. You would have certain expectations, as the s/o of a King, and any bending or outright breaking of the rules would result in firm discipline from Thorin; namely a lecture that he later apologises for. He’s also busy so you’re generally expected to do your own thing, and to do it well. You’d likely have your own job in Erebor so you’re rarely together. The nights are yours, though, so use the time wisely ;)

- He’ll definitely keep you grounded, though sometimes he’s the one who needs grounding. Anything that you want to do that he knows is a bad idea will be met with stony silences and side-glares. He’s told you his point of view and you did it anyway, so he expects you to accept full responsiility for whatever went wrong. You’ll get no sympathy or wise words from him, though he would tell you to learn fro your mistakes otherwise it was a wasted experience.  He sees it as you directly disrespecting him too, so it’s likeyl that you’d have an argument or you’d receive the cold shoulder from him until you’ve made up with him to his own standards. 

- Thorin is comforting, to a degree. Sometimes he has the words and actions you nee from him, and other times he’s just holding you and feeling helpless, berating himself for not knowing how to help you.  Sometimes he’s the one who needs comfort though; it’s not easy being King. Either way, it’s pretty balanced and you pull through together with whatever issues are currently at hand. 

- He’s definitely a dominant personality so I think the two of you would slot perfectly together. You look out for each other and support each other, which is what it’s all about. He can be a bit too gruff and so he sometimes hurts your feelings, but he makes it up to you in whichever way he can. 

This took me just over an hour so I hope you like it xD

[burnslaura]

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