#but also-it's milk and apparently you gotta be careful with milk products cause they go bad quick

[baekuras]

I magically ordered my monthly shopping food so it fits in my freezer EXACTLY, no more space left unless I open and rearrange some more boxes

a personal win for yours truly v-v

[pies-writes-and-more]

allergic to you

Word Count: 3, 713

Pairing: Tsukishima Kei x High School Age!Fem!Reader

Warnings: some swear words I guess, but as per usual, it’s just fluff from me. 

A/N: Guess who’s finally joined another fandom lol hello Haikyuu fandom! Pls be kind, it’s my first time writing for this fandom but I am in love with Karasuno boys, it’s problematic. Anyways, please let me know if you liked it! Sorry if I didn’t quite capture him the way other writers do haha. Also, Y/N = Your (Last) Name, just cause typing Y/L/N is exhausting lol my b

(Not my gif, credits to the original creator!)

Yamaguchi was trying his very hardest not to laugh, his hands clasped together in front of his lips to stifle his giggles as the tall blond boy he had known for years just looked at him desperately.

“It’s not funny,” Tsukishima’s lips formed into a frown (almost a pout), looking away from his friend nervously. His fingers played with some chopsticks, poking at his uneaten lunch.

Yamaguchi had never see Tsukishima Kei nervous. Volleyball games? Totally calm. Math class? Easy. Exam season? Piece of cake.

But put Tsukishima near a girl? No, scratch that. Not just any girl. Put Tsukishima near Y/N? It was all over for him. Suddenly, this 190cm tall boy wanted to shrink small enough to run away and not be noticed.

“It’s a little funny, Tsukki,” Yamaguchi insisted, finally letting out just a tiny chuckle that he just couldn’t hold back. “I think you’re overreacting. Just a bit.”

Tsukishima’s eyes turned back to the other boy, staring at him as if analyzing him, “How could I be overreacting? I’m telling you, I’m allergic!”

Yamaguchi was really trying his best to be supportive, knowing that talking about things was already hard for Tsukishima, especially when involving a particularly cute girl. “You think... you’re allergic... to Y/N,” Yamaguchi retorted slowly, repeating how Tsukishima started this convo with.

“Don’t be an idiot,” Tsukishima scoffed, rolling his eyes. “Obviously it’s some product she uses or something,” his nose scrunched up slightly as he tried to think of what it could possibly be. “Like that hand lotion she uses. The one that smells like vanilla and brown sugar,” Tsukishima proclaimed, nodding to himself like he had solved the mystery.

The green haired boy was still trying his best to be supportive. He nodded slowly, giving a forced smile to his best friend as he slowly spiralled into insanity. He had never seen Tsukishima this desperate for answers before. “Hasn’t she let you use some of that hand lotion?” He wondered aloud, remembering very specifically how red Tsukishima’s ears got when she rubbed a bit into a rash he had gotten on his hand.

“Gotta take good care of your hands if you play volleyball, Tsukishima-san!” Y/N had beamed, her fingers massaging the cream in.

Tsukishima had practically fainted that day, though he’d never admit it.

The blond’s frown tightened, holding his hand to his chin in thought, “Right. So not the hand lotion then.”

“Maybe she got a new perfume?” Yamaguchi offered, nibbling on some of his lunch while Tsukishima thought it out.

“No, she’s still using the same one,” He mumbled, and Yamaguchi smirked to himself, knowing that Tsukishima would’ve never admitted before that he knew little details like this about her. 

“Well. what kinds of symptoms do you have? Maybe that’ll narrow it down,” Yamaguchi suggested, leaning his head back on the wall behind them. It wasn’t unusual for Tsukishima to want to eat some place quiet, but today had been the first day that he had practically dragged Yamaguchi to this small secluded spot behind the school. The two of them sat against a wall to eat, though Tsukishima’s lunch had been completely forgotten.

“I just-” Tsukishima hesitated, eyebrows furrowing in annoyance as he tried to word how his body felt every time she was around. “I always feel so lightheaded. And my heartbeat’s always irregular too. Sometimes it feels like I can’t breathe properly.” His hand slid into his jacket pocket, pulling out his phone and tilting the screen towards Yamaguchi to show him a medical diagnostic page on the web. “Some people say these are symptoms of allergies. Or an anxiety attack. But I’m leaning more towards allergies.”

Yamaguchi squinted at the text, “You... Googled it?” He asked, a playful smile on his lips, glancing up at Tsukishima, amused.

“Well, what else am I supposed to do?” Tsukishima scoffed, scrolling through the page. “I don’t know what else it could be. It’s not with anyone else. It can’t be the classroom either, cause when she’s not around, I don’t feel anything.”

“Hm. So what’re you going to do about it?” Yamaguchi asked, going along with this ‘allergic’ idea as much as he could. He knew Tsukishima was very rational and even if he suggested what he figured was happening, Tsukishima would never listen.

“D-Do?” Tsukishima blinked. He hadn’t thought about what the next step was.

“Well I assume you don’t want to keep feeling that like right? You could always ask the teacher to move you, I suppose. Then ask her not to attend any of our games. Avoiding her for the rest of your life seems like the best choice doesn’t it?” Yamaguchi asked innocently, closing up his lunch box and taking a sip from his juice.

Tsukishima stayed quiet, eyebrows still furrowed and the frown on his face tightening. He knew that made sense - one of the girls in their class was allergic to nuts and she always had to be careful what she ate, and he had even heard of some people not eating or drinking milk products because of allergies. The logical part of his brain agreed with Yamaguchi, perhaps staying away from Y/N was the only answer.

“Then... maybe it’s not an allergy,” Tsukishima mumbled quietly. He hated going back on his word but he couldn’t deny that he loathed the idea of not seeing Y/N’s smile ever again. Or seeing her sit with someone else. “Maybe it’s just something I have to get used to.”

“You know, Tsukishima,” Yamaguchi started again, looking off to the scenery that was in front of them. His voice was light and airy as he tried to coax his friend to the idea, “What you’re going through sounds a lot like-”

Tsukishima could hear it in his voice, he knew the next word forming from Yamaguchi’s lips before it even entered the air. He slammed his lunch box closed and stood up abruptly, turning away from the other boy’s eyes. “Lunch is over,” he grumbled, as if that was the reason he stood up so dramatically.

Yamaguchi smirked and packed up his things, shaking his head slowly when Tsukishima wasn’t looking. He wasn’t at all surprised that Tsukishima was having a hard time accepting his feelings.

The word hung in the very serious boy’s mind for the rest of the day. He tried not to focus so much on Y/N as he sat next to her for the rest of their classes, tried to not inhale too much or look in her general direction, in fear that his “allergy” would act up again.

He was almost positive it wasn’t... that. He would know for sure if it was, wouldn’t he? His nose scrunched slightly as he thought about the music he had listened to before, ones that had just a good melody and beat and he definitely didn’t listen to because of the lyrics since they were about... that thing.

Didn’t some people talk about their heart feeling like it was going to fall out of their chest? That they found it hard to breathe? That it was like all life stopped when they saw that person? And that despite all this, they never wanted to be without them?

Tsukishima had to get to the bottom of this. He was either experiencing some sort of allergic reaction to her or he was experiencing feelings. He thought about ignoring them, pretending like they didn’t exist so that maybe everything would go back to normal one day. But how long would that take? Wouldn’t it just be easier to rip off the bandaid and find out now?

At the end of class, Tsukishima zoomed his way out of class, not waiting for Yamaguchi like usual.

“Is he alright, Yamaguchi-san?” Y/N asked, surprised that the two best friends weren’t walking out together like they had every other day. Some days, they would even walk out with Y/N on their way to practice. But apparently, not today.

“He’s got a lot on his mind,” Yamaguchi explained, waving it away with a smile. Perhaps today he would be walking home by himself. And that was fine by him.

Y/N packed up her things and waved goodbye to her other classmates, heading out the door and slipping in her headphones. Her mind drifted to all the things she had to do when she got home, whether or not there were leftovers to heat up today or if she should cook something up.

“You take so long,” a drawl voice interrupted the very beginning of her first song. She blinked in surprise, looking to her right where Tsukishima was leaning against a tree.

Y/N pulled out one earbud, tilting her head as she watched him. It wasn’t like she hadn’t seen him do this casual, I-don’t-care-about-anything lean, with his headphones around his neck and his hands shoved in his pockets. But there was something different about him this time. Why was he avoiding her eyes? Why was he not giving her an annoyingly carefree smile? Why were his ears turning pink?

“Were you... waiting for me, Tsukishima-san?” Y/N asked slowly. He didn’t move for a moment, as if still calculating something in that big brain of his. He pushed off of the tree after sighing, walking over to her slowly.

“Obviously,” was all he said, glaring down at her as if she should’ve known this.

“You rushed out of class so quick, I thought you were already going home,” Y/N responded, still a bit confused. “Don’t you and Yamaguchi normally walk home together?”

Why did she have to question so much? Why couldn’t she just realize what he was trying to do? Tsukishima huffed and grabbed her hand, dropping a nice cool juice box in it. His eyes darted away from her next inquisitive look, but glanced back almost immediately because he wanted to see her eyes widen just a little at her favourite juice box.

“W-What is this?” Y/N asked, holding it in her hands. Part of her wanted to examine it to make sure he hadn’t somehow tricked her into holding something that wasn’t actually juice. She looked up at him suspiciously - Tsukishima knew her favourite juice?

“You didn’t have one with you today. I figured you forgot your wallet again today,” Tsukishima mumbled, shoving his hands in his jacket again.

“O-Oh. I did, thank you. Um,” Y/N hesitated. Was Tsukishima trying... to be nice? “Why... why did you buy it for me?”

“I just said why,” Tsukishima scoffed, flicking her head gently. He scolded himself internally, feeling guilty as soon as she showed the surprise on her face. She’s asking why you thought to be nice, Kei, stop being snarky, he told himself harshly. “Sorry,” he muttered quickly, feeling almost immediately bad for flicking her.

Y/N just laughed though, giggles spilling from her lips as she looked up at him, “Are you feeling okay, Tsukishima-san? You’re turning red,” she teased gently and he looked away from her quickly, hating how quickly his face heated up.

He took a breath, trying to mimic how calm he was on the court. He turned back to look at her with a cocky smile and confidence gaze, though he was sure she could tell he was nervous, “I’m fine, Y/N-san. But I need to tell you something. And I’m only going to say it once so listen up.”

Y/N watched him intently, noting the fake confidence he was trying to put on. She nodded as he looked at her for any sign to keep going.

His lips opened for a moment and Y/N could’ve sworn there was a moment of panic in his eyes when nothing came out. “I’m going to walk you home today,” Tsukishima stated finally, each word thudding into the air. He felt his confidence falter as the wrong words left his mouth, shifting his bag on his shoulder and starting to walk ahead.

Y/N’s eyebrows furrowed, feeling her confusion only rise. Did he really build up that whole thing... just to walk her home?

“Hurry up or I’ll leave you here,” Tsukishima called behind his shoulder, still walking ahead. He was internally punching himself, groaning and uttering insults at his own stupid self. Couldn’t even say it. Couldn’t just say Y/N I like you and I think I’m either allergic to you or I’m utterly in love with you but I’ve been told I suck at explaining how I feel and that I never say the right things at the right time so please just reject me so I can move away from these exhausting feelings.

“Want some?” Y/N’s gentle voice was suddenly beside him, and Tsukishima felt his stomach doing that flipping motion again. He glanced down at her and saw her holding up the juice box at him. “Seems only fair, since you bought it,” she explained, the glimmer in her eyes making him feel way too warm inside.

“Sure,” he mumbled after a moment. She smiled just a little bit wider, holding up the juice to him, expecting him to just snatch it away and drink. But no, Tsukishima being a little bitch and deciding that if he couldn’t admit anything with words, he could try with actions, leaned down slightly, and latched his lips onto the straw. His hand wrapped around hers over the juice box, holding it still as he took a sip.

Y/N felt like she was suddenly bright red, her heart possibly having exploded right then and there. His eyes looked up to meet hers as he sipped, smirking a bit as he noticed the panicked and flushed look in her eyes.

Maybe the feeling is... mutual?

“Mm,” he hummed, pulling away after keeping her gaze for a second. “I guess I can see why you like it.”

Y/N had shivers running up and down her spine, feeling like Tsukishima had looked into her very soul and knew about her year-long crush on him.

The two of them started walking a bit slower after that, and to the external eye, you’d probably just see two classmates walking home together. But look a little closer, and you’d see both of them having internal conflicts. They managed to walk through the small roads filled with shops and make it about halfway to Y/N’s house in complete silence. 

“Y/N-san,” Tsukishima finally ended it, the agonizing silence, in which he had been racking his brain trying to think of how to start a conversation. He stopped in his tracks as he spoke the one word, the two of them now on a quieter dirt path. There was no one to interrupt them, no one to save Tsukishima from embarrassment, no Yamaguchi to fill the awkward silence.

“Hm?” Y/N looked back at him, noticing him just standing there. “Are you alright, Tsukishima-san?”

“There’s something I need to say,” he started, his hands in his pockets clenched into fists.

“O-Oh okay.”

“I’ve been... feeling sick around you.” Baka, he scolded himself for what felt like the millionth time. That definitely wasn’t the way he had wanted to say it. “I-I mean, not like sick sick but like allergy sick,” he tried to recover, but scoffed at himself since that wasn’t all that much better.

Y/N’s eyebrows furrowed in response, trying to think about his reactions lately. He had definitely been more flushed lately, but she always thought that was annoyance. He’d been quieter and more distant, but it was Tsukishima after all. He looked over to her desperately, hoping to see that she was understanding what he was trying to say. She wasn’t. 

Tsukishima was starting to get frustrated. He knew he wasn’t the greatest at communicating but how hard was it to see how much he liked her? Yamaguchi saw it, hell, even his upperclassmen teased him about it when they first saw Tsukishima and Y/N walking out of class together one day. So why did other people who didn’t need to know it, why did they understand but she didn’t? Why was she so dense? 

You’re not saying anything, his mind reminded him as he scowled to himself.

“It has to be that,” Tsukishima finally continued quietly, his eyes now staring at his feet. He was practically trying to convince himself now. It had to be that there was a health related issue with him being around her. It had to be that, because if it wasn’t, it meant that Tsukishima had to tell her how he felt. And that meant that he was probably going to end up hurt. Why a girl like Y/N hung around a guy like him anyways was beyond him. 

“Why?” Y/N frowned, still terribly lost in the cosmos of this odd confession. “Why would it have to be that?”

“Because if it isn’t that, then it means that I’ve fallen completely head over heels for you.”

Tsukishima wasn’t sure how he had managed to say the words. But there it was. His fists tightened even more, his fingernails digging into his palm so hard it was starting to hurt. 

His eyes closed tightly, turning his head away from her. He didn’t want to look. He didn’t want to see laughter or disgust in her eyes. Maybe he could take it back now. Maybe he could-

Tsukishima jumped at the feeling of a poke on his chest, his eyes opening in surprise when he found Y/N standing much closer than she was earlier. “Are you teasing me?” She asked defensively, squinting her eyes up at him.

“T-Teasing?” Tsukishima stammered. He watched her eyes, noting how visibly upset she looked and he could feel his frustration rising. He had finally said what he had wanted to say this whole time... and she wasn’t even reacting the way she was supposed to. How stupid did she have to be? And why did she have to look so damn cute while doing it?

“Yamaguchi-san told you, didn’t he? I knew that poophead couldn’t keep his mouth shut,” she grumbled, crossing her arms against her chest. “He swore he wouldn’t tell you, but I should’ve known. You guys are best friends and all.”

“Told me... told me what?”

“That I’ve liked you practically since we met,” Y/N huffed, putting her hands on her hips. “Listen, Tsukishima-san, if you don’t like me back, you don’t have to tease me like this. I’m perfectly fine being rejected,” she told him with a pout on her lips (she was definitely not fine being rejected, and was planning on crying at home after this). “Don’t act like you didn’t know.”

Tsukishima‘s eyes widened, staring at her like she had grown a second head. “You... You like me?” He gulped. His allergies must be getting worse, his heart was thumping so hard against his chest, he couldn’t think straight.

Y/N and him shared a confused look for a moment, neither one of them sure who was teasing whom at this point. “Didn’t... didn’t you know? That’s why you’re being nice to me?” She asked him, poking his chest again. “Why else would you be walking me home and buying me juice?”

“Why would...” Tsukishima’s lips curled into a smile and suddenly he burst out into laughter, tilting his head back in amusement. 

“Why are you laughing?” Y/N whined, punching his arm lightly with a huff. “This isn’t a time to be laughing at me!”

Tsukishima straightened up with his signature cocky smile, shaking his head as he fixed his glasses on his face. Then, his hand moved to hit the top of her head.

“OW! Tsukishima-san!”

“You idiot. Why would I be standing here confessing to you if I was just going to make fun of you?” Tsukishima scoffed, smirking at her. “If I didn’t like you back and I found out you liked me, don’t you think I would’ve made it clear by now that you never stood a chance?”

Y/N thought about this for a moment, remembering that one time a girl in a different class had confessed to him after attending one of his matches.

“I think you’re incredible, Tsukishima-san! A-And I just.... well I just...”

“Are you trying to confess to me?” Tsukishima didn’t even bother looking up from his study book, finishing an equation before even glancing at her. “You should just give up now. I’m not interested.”

The girl had teared up so much, even Y/N had felt bad (even though she was secretly happy that Tsukishima hadn’t accepted the confession). Yamaguchi had yelled at Tsukishima about being gentle that day.

“Why would I be nice to someone stupid enough to think I’d like them? I didn’t give her any hints that I did, I don’t even know her,” Tsukishima grumbled.

Y/N had internalized those words, deciding she wouldn’t confess her feelings to Tsukishima ever. If she did, and Tsukishima rejected her, he probably wouldn’t want to be around her as friends ever again.

“So...” Y/N thought to herself for a moment, trying to reexamine what had happened today. “What was with the juice box then?” She asked him. 

“I thought...” Tsukishima frowned a little, looking up at the sky in thought. “I thought when you confess you were supposed to... give a gift or something.”

Y/N couldn’t help but giggle at his thought process and Tsukishima glared at her slightly. “You’re laughing at me now?”

She shook her head quickly, trying to stifle her giggles, “I just... I think it’s sweet,” she beamed, holding onto her little juice box even though it was empty now.

Tsukishima watched her carefully before smiling a little, patting her head gently, “Alright then, let’s get you home. I’ll bring another juice box for you for our date.”

“D-Date?” Y/N repeated shyly, following him as he started to walk again.

“You thought I’d just confess to you and not ask you out? Idiot,” Tsukishima smirked, feeling such an intense relief on his shoulders. His heart was still beating furiously and his stomach felt like it was going to come up his throat, but... it wasn’t as frustrating of a feeling now. 

After he dropped her off at her house with the promise of walking her to school tomorrow morning, Tsukishima couldn’t help but allow himself to smile widely the whole way home. 

If this is what an allergy felt like, he never wanted it to stop.

** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

Okay like I mentioned up there in the Author’s Notes, this is my first time writing for Haikyuu so lmk what you thought :) I’ve written some stuff for OHSHC and I think it’s pretty obviously that tall jerks with glasses are my type lol 

Anyways! Enjoy!

[redvelvetreel]

Red Velvet Reel 10.2: Hiper-Billirubinado

[Fic Directory]

Pairing: [Married] Spicyhoney (Underfell Papyrus x Underswap Papyrus)

Summary: What could be more romantic than letting your SO sleep in and make them a delicious brunch spread?! Edge can actually think of a lot of things, but if Stretch really wants him to eat these chicken and waffle things, then its his husband’s good luck he married such an accomodating, nice guy. 

Characters: Stretch (Underswap Papyrus) & Edge (Underfell Papyrus)

Contains: Mpreg/Skelepreg! (Implied) Mood swings! Very eager to please Stretch and very confused Edge! Domestic Fluff! Cooking and cooking mishaps! 

Rating: Teen and up! (I guess?)

Note: Title based on the Juan Luis Guerra song “Me Sube la Billirubina.”

Oye, y me trastearon hasta el alma They even poked around my soul Con rayos equis y cirugía With x-rays and surgeries Y es que la ciencia no funciona And it turns out science just doesn’t work Sólo tus besos, vida mía Just your kisses, my life

It was mortifying to be sleeping in. Ever since he was a child, Edge had always been an early riser. There was always so much to do, he sometimes wished he didn’t have to sleep at all! He was the one who woke people up! It was wrong on a cosmic level for Stretch, the king of naps and drowsy lazing around, to be awake before him. To be productive while Edge was still sleeping!

He was still trying to rub sleep out of his sockets, slippers padding on the wood floors quietly, when he entered the kitchen.

“Papí, no me-“ Edge shook his head, trying to focus on his words, “Don’t let me sleep late-“

Edge froze, taking in the sight of his kitchen. Used dishes and bowls all along the counter and in the sink, every single spoon they owned had different types of food stuck to them, and there were half-opened, half-used ingredients all around. The milk didn’t even have a lid on it.

“Good morning!” Stretch was cheerful and energetic, bouncing over to give him a hug. He was wearing a chef’s hat and that stupid  ‘Grill Sergeant’ apron. Edge would have appreciated that gift more if Stretch hadn’t also crammed every other food related pun he could find on the rest of the fabric. On both sides. “Did you sleep well, sweetheart?”

“Good morning. Too well.” Edge sighed, trying to force the irritation down by closing his eyes and focusing on the feel of Stretch’s arms around him. “Wake me up when you wake up, Papí.”

“If you’re tired, you should sleep. You obviously need it.” Stretch sighed, discreetly trying to  feel his forehead. With his oven mitts on. Mamerto. “The weekend is the one time you can do it guilt free, so gotta take advantage, no?”

“No.” Edge leaned up on his tiptoes to give his husband a quick kiss, taking the oven mitts off in the process. With growing trepidation, he looked over at the bubbling pot on the stove, “What are you cooking? It smells...” It wasn’t necessarily appetizing, but it wasn’t bad either. “Oil? Is that oil?”

“Yup! Your nose knows!” Stretch gestured to the stove by sweeping his hand, and Edge pulled his husband’s arm back by the sleeve before he could hit the handle. If Stretch noticed, he didn’t comment on it. “I’m making brunch today, and I wanted to give you the best, most underrated combination ever: chicken and waffles!”

It took all of Edge’s willpower not to grimace, “Waffles?” He squirmed away from Stretch to peer into the bubbling pot, “Pancake waffles? Honey and sprinkle waffles?”

“Exactly!” Stretch playfully bumped him to the side with his hip, picking up a plate with raw, breaded chicken. Edge crushed a hand to his mouth to keep from saying anything as some of chicken fell into the pot with a splash, sending oil spilling onto his nice, clean stovetop. “Whoops. I’ll clean it up later, don’t worry.”

Edge already had a paper towel at the ready, trying to push past his husband, “Move. Let me clean that-”

“Nope, I’m good!” Stretch gestured to the table just through the doorway, which was positively covered in food. “Go ahead, take a seat and dig in!” He put his hands on the small of Edge’s back, gently pushing him forward.

“What-?!” Edge started to protest, but reluctantly let himself be exiled from his kitchen. There were a variety of foods he recognized on the table: cornbread, pancakes, grits (ugh,) bacon and scrambled eggs (ughhh.) And a few things he didn’t recognize- Wait. Edge picked up a misshapen green lump with melted cheese starting to ooze out the side. Cautiously, he broke off a piece to nibble on. It was too salty, but the taste was unmistakable.

“Are these Greempanadas?” He called over his shoulder, picking up the light brown glass in front of his plate. On closer inspection, it was oatmeal that was starting to coagulate. “And Coolada?”

“Well! They’re supposed to be- I did my very best, called Red and everything!” Stretch yelled over the sound of frying chicken, and the repetitive ding of the oven. It was a struggle for Edge not to go rushing in there to deal with it himself. “I mean, I looked around but you don’t have any of your Underfell recipes written down anywhere!”

“Why would you do that?” Edge asked the easy question instead, rolling the glass around in his hand. The oatmeal remained stuck in place. Stretch probably just used that instant oatmeal packet. Menso. “You could have just asked me. I would have been happy to make them for you-“

“But then it wouldn’t be a surprise! And I wanted to try and make them for you!” Stretch finally turned the stove off, apparently done with the frying, and Edge let out a relieved breath he didn’t realize he had been holding. “Like how you learned to make grits for me, even though you don’t even like them!”

Ah. This was a guilt thing, then. Why? What had Stretch done that he needed to be forgiven? He wasn’t still going on about the other day, was he? Edge didn’t like surprises, especially the kind of surprises without a clear motive. Well, Stretch was a terrible liar, and his conscience would have him breaking soon. Edge could be patient.

“And Red told you to use this much salt?” Edge tried to nibble off a little more, but it was so salty. What had his brother been thinking?

The oven dinged one more time. “Sort of!” Stretch continued ranting from the kitchen, oblivious. “Your brother is super unhelpful! He was like, ‘Put as much salt as you want, but not too much!’ and ‘Just a little bit of sugar and a dash of pepper!’ And then he got all mad at me when I asked for clarification, all ‘You got a tongue, don’t’cha?!’ Ugh!”

Edge crushed a piece of the Greempanada on his plate, sprinkling the chunks around like crumbs. He wrapped four of them in a paper napkin, tucking them into his inventory for later disposal. “Yes, Red is the absolute worst.”

“Yes! Well, I mean-“ Stretch cleared his throat uncomfortably, backtracking immediately, “Maybe it’s very obvious for Fell monsters, but for Stretch monsters, it’s like he’s speaking to me in Flowey. Like, really angry, aggressive Flowey.”

Edge smiled despite himself, shaking his head fondly. Stretch made another sound of annoyance, “So, yeah, I tried. There were some other things he was telling me but I didn’t know what those were, so I substituted some stuff.”

Ah. That would explain the paprika. A moment later, Stretch came out with two plates exactly as advertised: fried chicken on a waffle covered in... something. He started to hand a plate over, before hesitating to fidget a little self-consciously, “I know I’m not as great a cook as you are, but... I hope you like it anyway.“

He put the plates down on the table with a sigh, smile anxious and strained, “This was one of my favorite things as a kid, so I wanted you to try it, ‘cause you’re always giving me all of this delicious things from Underfell-“ Stretch started worrying at his ring, “And I appreciate it, you know? I love your cooking and I love you, and I want you to feel as happy as I do when you share this kind of stuff with me, so I wanted to return the favor in a small way-“

Using the side of his fork, Edge cut off a piece of both chicken and waffle, swirling them in the sticky, brown sauce. Bracing himself, he carefully took a bite. The taste was... indescribable. He wouldn’t call it delicious- the sauce was too sweet for the chicken but too salty for the waffle- but he could feel the care that went into it. The love put into the dish went straight to his soul like a hug, and Edge could honestly look up and say, “It’s good.”

“Is it?!” Stretch was in his lap in a moment, arms tight around his chest as he knocked their skulls together, “Blue makes them with bourbon-maple glaze, but that has alcohol, and I didn’t wanna risk it. Yeah, yeah, cooking it makes the alcohol disappear but I’m not gonna take any chances with Pancake!”

Stretch was incredibly talkative today. Not enough to worry, not yet, but enough to definitely monitor. “Like, I want my kid to have this sometime too, but I figured it’d be better when they were born! Yeah, they can get some from symbiosis right now, maybe, but it’s not the same-“ Edge cut off another piece of the chicken and waffle, popping it into his husband’s mouth mid-explanation.

“Yes.” He agreed amicably, keeping his arm around his husband’s waist to keep him from fleeing. He put another piece of food against Stretch’s mouth before he finished swallowing the first, “I’m sure they’ll like it.”

Especially if it was one of the first things they tried, before they developed a firm sense of taste and could speak out against it. And Edge would have plenty of time to undo the damage before Pancake could develop their other father’s sweet tooth.

[ Incident 1 ] [ Incident 2 - Here! ] [ Incident 3]

[parsleybabe]

Home Made Simple S01E01 - gender bias 101

I just started watching a home renovation show on netflix called “Home Made Simple”, and I just gotta share, because I think it might possibly be the worst home renovation show I have ever seen.

At this point I’ve only seen one episode and maybe I don’t have the full picture yet, but there was just so much wrong with it that... I just gotta rant.

Okay, so, first of all, there’s these three women who are basically the renovators. One is mostly like a host of the show and doesn’t really do any of the renovating. The other two are responsible for decorations and tool work. Like, really, really, REALLY simple stuff. (No wonder they named the show that).

So, in episode 1 there’s this family: Mom, Dad and two boys aged 10 and 12. Really nice family, very down to earth. The episode is meant to be about renovating a room for the 12 year old as a reward for getting through a tough school year. And I’m not even gonna get into how giving a new room to a kid who’s been bullied is not going to fix the bullying problem, because maybe that was resolved off screen and they just didn’t show it. I’m just gonna say that I found it very annoying how the three women were all smiles and cheers and YAY new room when talking to the kid, as if that was the main issue and would solve all problems ever. Oh, and then they decided to also renovate the family’s play room as a side project.

Anyway, the thing that bothered me, again, is how very, very basic the shown renovations were. I know, I said it before, everything was very simple, but... OMG I have never before seen three “experts” explaining stuff that is so very basic that it doesn’t need any explanation in the first place. Honestly, here’s what they did:

Host Lady - she genuinely doesn’t do anything other than introducing people and smiling and cheering.

Decorations Lady - She explains how to paint a wall (as in, how to use masking tape and a brush, I’m not even kidding). She also takes care of curtains and possibly buying furniture (none of this is shown though). And she crafts a lamp with the mom. Which isn’t even inventive or anything. They just buy a ready made lamp and glue ping pong balls to it. And it’s a huge sensation apparently.

Tool Lady - She explains how to use a drill and a hammer (it sounds like a joke, but it’s not). And later on she builds a stage out of a piece of MDF, milk crates and some wire ties. And that’s honestly the coolest thing they do in the entire episode because it actually improves the room and has a genuine connection to the family (they love doing stand up comedy and karaoke), although, again, it’s so simple anybody could do this without any instructions. And maybe that’s the reason why they didn’t actually show them put the thing together on the show but simply talk about the materials.

The most annoying thing however, was the whole focus on gender.

For example, it is specifically mentioned that the dad is off at work and that it’s actually, surprisingly, the mom who does most of the renovation, and they make that sound like a huge deal. I just sat there, thinking, okay... I can see that the mom is doing the work. Like, why point that out at all as if it were some sensation? o.O

But it got worse! They actually invited some guy to keep the boys occupied during the renovations. He’s introduced as a chef who will teach the boys how to “man up and take control of the kitchen”. He gets out some ingredients (bread, peanut butter and honey) and asks what the boys think they will do, to which the 12 year old replies, “peanut butter and honey sandwiches” and the look he gives the chef says “cause duh”. The chef then explains that anybody could make those, pulls out some bananas and states that they’re gonna make “banana slamma sandwiches” (which end up being peanutbutter honey sandwhiches with two banana slices on top). And, I don’t know about you, but I’m 100% sure those boys could have easily come up with that recipe on their own. Finally, their dad is brought in as the taste tester and the host introduces him as, “Here we go. One manly man!”

Random side note: the chef also mentioned that he’s going to clean up after the boys by saying, “Alright boys, I’m going to grab my Dawn Power Clean and get to work.” Yeah, I know what you’re thinking, he’s gonna grab his what? That wasn’t the only product placement, btw, just the most obvious one, because you also saw him grab it and use it in an extra shot afterwards. -_-’

But, getting back to the gender focus. The thing that annoyed me the most was when they were talking about the color choices for the new bedroom. The boy’s favorite color turns out to be purple. And Decorations Lady makes a really big deal out of it, by exclaiming, “I know purple is really scary!” towards the dad (who just stands there in his pink shirt and doesn’t seem to have a problem with purple in the first place). She then continues that she asked the boy three times, but he always said purple, so they have no other choice. And  you think that’s bad, but it got worse. Then, Decorations Lady explains that she specifically picked a type of purple that is “more of a masculine purple” (yeah, direct quote, and it turns out “masculine” purple = dull, dark grey with a slight purple touch) and quickly ads they’re also gonna use some neutral colors and add in some grey and lime green.

Honestly the color talk really is where they completely lost me.

[sevenpabosandabunchoffans]

The Meaning of Family | From Friends to Spouses {Part 6}

Characters: Min Yoongi, Original Characters, Kim Seokjin, Kim Namjoon, Jung Hoseok, Jeon Jungkook, Kim Taehyung, Park Jimin

Words: 2529

Genre: College Student!Yoongi, Daddy!Yoongi, Parents!Namjin

Warnings: mentions of an infant in the NICU, fluffy Yoongi as a dad, angst, implications of postpartum depression

Summary: “Do Yoongi and Sophia get married?”; Yoongi and Sophia take the next step in their relationship, but not without a few bumps along the way; Time Period - one week after Sammie’s birth to four months after, Yoongi and Sophia’s 2nd year of college; Ages: Jin - 36, Namjoon - 35/36, Yoongi - 19, Sophia - 19, Hoseok - 18, Jimin - 16/17, Taehyung - 16, Jungkook - 14/15, Sammie - 1 week/4 months

A/N: Only one more chapter! I hope you’ve enjoyed this so far and continue to enjoy it and the other drabbles! Be sure to send in any requests you may have! <3

Previous Part

“Just let me know once you’ve finished pumping and I’ll come collect your milk.” The nurse stated after helping Sophia get situated with the automated breast pump. It had been a week since Sammie was born, and Sophia was still having some troubles with properly pumping her breast milk, so the NICU nurses were aiding her whenever it came time. “Her next feeding will be in about an hour, and you’ll get to hold her this time. Both of you.” The nurse made sure to include Yoongi in her announcement, and the couple’s eyes lit up at the thought. Due to how small Sammie was, especially after her weight dropped a little in the first few days after her birth, they had been unable to hold her yet, making that be the first time they would ever get to hold her.

“Did you hear that Yoongi?!” Sophia exclaimed after the nurse left the room. “We’re gonna get to hold her and feel her and it’s going to be amazing and-why does this thing have to feel so weird?!” She glared down at the pump attached to her breast, causing Yoongi to chuckle at her.

“Just think how weird it would feel if it were actually Sammie~” Yoongi pointed out as his phone dinged. He looked at it and immediately moved to stand up from the couch. “My dad’s coming up with our lunch, you want me to close the curtain?” Sophia nodded and Yoongi pressed a kiss to her cheek before pulling the curtain hanging in front of the couch to protect the privacy of pumping mothers to cover Sophia just in time for Jin to walk into the room with Jimin.

“Subway delivery is here~” Jimin greeted, setting the sandwich sacks on the small table in the room before claiming the rocking chair in the corner of the room.

“I didn’t know you were coming.” Yoongi commented as he searched through the bags to find his turkey sandwich.

“Your dad was called away to handle a case, so Jimin came to help move Taehyung move into his dorm for band camp instead.” Jin explained as he washed his hands in the sink that was in the room. “I didn’t feel like driving him back home before coming here.” Once his hands were dry, Jin moved over to the incubator in the middle of the room and, after getting Yoongi’s permission, opened one of the side panels to reach his hand inside. “Hi there, Sammie~” He lightly stroked her hand with his finger, and she soon opened her fist to be able to grasp onto it. “You got a good grip there~” He commented.

Sophia soon finished pumping and had Yoongi run the tube of milk to the nurses’ station down the hall while she enjoyed her own lunch. Eventually, it was Sammie’s feeding time, and Jimin traded seats with Sophia so she could have the rocking chair. “Can you undo a few of your buttons so we can get skin to skin bonding going?” The nurse asked as she checked over the various tubes and wires around Sammie to make sure they weren’t at risk of coming loose as she moved her to Sophia’s arms.

The second Sammie was placed in Sophia’s arms, everyone could see the way the young mother relaxed at finally having some physical contact with her baby. “Hi, Sammie~” Sophia cooed, a few tears of joy escaping her eyes as she lightly stroked the newborn’s cheek.

The nurse brought a pacifier over and handed it to Sophia. “We’re going to try to get her latching and sucking motion down to make an easier transition to bottle or breast.”

Sophia placed the soother against Sammie’s mouth and pushed it in. The infant welcomed the object, suckling on it for a few seconds before attempting to spit it out, unable to due to Sophia holding it in place. “Looks like somebody doesn’t like pacifiers~” Sophia cooed to the infant as the nurse began to push the milk through the feeding tube.

After they finished feeding Sammie, the nurse took the infant from her mother’s arms and gestured for her to switch places with Yoongi, so he could hold his daughter. After undoing the top few buttons of his own flannel, since the nurse informed him that skin to skin contact with the father was also beneficial to the baby, he welcomed Sammie into his arms and felt his insides both warm and soften at getting to hold his daughter for the first time. “Hi there, princess~” Yoongi whispered to the baby, silently vowing to himself to always protect her every second for the rest of his life.

Sammie was cleared to go home at the end of June after three and a half weeks in the NICU. After a car seat test to make sure Sammie would stay stable for the duration of the ride home, and a talk with Sophia telling her to watch out for symptoms of postpartum depression, since the disorder is more prevalent in women who give birth prematurely, the family made their way back to Conway, giving Yoongi and Sophia a month and a half to settle into a routine at home with the new addition to their family before the school year started up for them. They managed well for the first couple of weeks of the semester, but soon enough, the stress of being parents in college weighed down on the both of them.

It was a Saturday about halfway through the semester, and Yoongi had offered to take care of Sammie by himself to give Sophia some time to catch up on her assignments. He was currently in Sammie’s room, changing the now four-month old’s diaper. “Let’s get you out of this dirty diaper and into a clean one~” Yoongi cooed in a high-pitched voice as he unfastened the diaper, now immune to the smell after months of changing the infant’s diapers. He opened up the pack of baby wipes, and the second the cleaning tool came in contact with her bare bottom, Sammie began to wail. “I know you don’t like it, but we gotta get you all clean!” Yoongi talked to the young infant to distract her from him cleaning her up. Once she was fully clean, Yoongi noticed that her skin was red and splotchy. “Oh, do you have a diaper rash?” Yoongi asked the baby, feeling a pang in his chest as he thought about the pain his daughter must have been in. “Don’t worry, Daddy will fix you right up.” He began to search through the various drawers and boxes in the nursery only to come up empty handed. He hated to disturb Sophia, but he felt he had no choice but to ask for her assistance. “Soph, do you know where Sammie’s butt paste is?” He called out to the living room where Sophia was working on her homework.

A couple of minutes later, Sophia entered the nursery with the tube in her hand. “Must’ve left it in the diaper bag~” She mumbled as she handed it to him, exiting the room just as quickly as she had entered it, giving Yoongi no time to even thank her.

Yoongi finished changing Sammie’s diaper and moved to lay on his back on the floor, letting Sammie lay on his stomach. He occasionally lifted her up in the air, smiling widely as she let out a chorus of giggles before bringing her back down to smother her face in kisses. “You’re just a happy baby, aren’t you?” Yoongi asked as he sat up, holding her close to his chest as he checked his watch. “And it seems to be time to eat.” He carefully stood up from the floor, propping Sammie on his hip to carry her to the kitchen, passing by Sophia who was furiously typing on her laptop without even sparing him a glance. Yoongi went straight to searching through the cabinets for the container of formula. Sophia’s milk production had decreased so tremendously by the time Sammie was discharged that breastfeeding became an even bigger struggle at home, so they had decided to switch over to formula fully, not without a large amount of guilt on Sophia’s part. He searched through almost every cabinet and still had not found the container, so he once again regretfully asked Sophia. “Soph, do you know where the formula is?”

Sophia sighed deeply, “I don’t know, Yoongi~”

Yoongi continued searching, still coming up with nothing. “Did we run out or something? Because I can’t find it-“ Yoongi hadn’t even finished his statement before Sophia was in the kitchen with him, opening a random cabinet and finding the formula almost immediately. He opened his mouth to thank her but stopped when he noticed that she was already starting to make the bottle. “I can make the bottle, Soph, you just focus on getting your homework done.”

“No, it’s fine, I’ll do it~” Yoongi could hear the passive-aggressive tone in his fiancée’s voice. “I mean, I have to do everything else anyway, what’s making one bottle?”

“You don’t have to do everything, Sophia,” Yoongi responded. “That’s why I said to focus on your homework, I’m capable of taking care of our daughter for an afternoon.”

“Apparently not, if you’re asking for my help every five seconds.”

Yoongi moved a few steps into the living room to place Sammie in her Bumbo chair that was on the floor in front of the TV, not wanting her to witness an argument between her parents. “I’ve asked for your help twice, and those were only because I couldn’t find something. You’re the one that’s deciding you need to step in and make a bottle.”

Sophia set the now finished bottle down on the counter with a little more force than necessary. “I have homework, Yoongi. I can’t drop what I’m doing every time you need something found.”

“You didn’t have to!” Yoongi insisted. “You could have just said ‘hey check the diaper bag’ or something and then continued working on whichever assignment you’re doing.” He followed Sophia as she moved back to the couch to gather up her work. “And I’m sorry for thinking that asking where the formula was wouldn’t be such a big deal.”

“Well when I have school and work and a baby to take care of, it is a big deal!” Sophia exclaimed, slamming her laptop shut. “I’m just tired~”

“Have you forgotten that I also have school and work and baby to take care of?” Yoongi asked. “You’re not the only one with a full plate, Sophia.”

“Yeah, but I doubt anyone at your job expects you take care of your child while you’re working too!” It was at this moment that tears started to fall from Sophia’s eyes. “I thought it would be great having Sammie at the same center I work at. I would get to see her whenever I wanted throughout the day while someone else took care of her and gave me a break. But no! Unless your dad is there to step in, they call me in to feed her and change her and rock her, so I don’t even get a break then! So, I’m sorry for wanting just one afternoon without having to worry about doing anything except my schoolwork.”

Sophia began to move past Yoongi to go into their bedroom with her school supplies, and Yoongi reached out to lightly rub her arm. “Soph-“

“Just leave me alone, Yoongi!” Sophia slammed their bedroom door behind her, causing Yoongi to flinch and Sammie to start crying, as the noise startled her.

Yoongi took a deep breath to calm himself down before picking the crying infant up and cuddling her into his chest to try to calm her. “Shh, it’s okay, Sammie~” Yoongi kissed the top of her head before grabbing the bottle from the counter and moving to the couch. He placed the bottle in her mouth, holding her close to him as he fed her, thinking over the events that had just taken place. Sammie finished about three fourths of the bottle before dozing off, so Yoongi carefully pulled the bottle away without disturbing her and set it on the floor next to his feet. After watching his little girl sleep for a few minutes, he pulled his phone out of his pocket and clicked on one of his most recent contacts. “Hey, Dad~”

About half an hour later, after he finished the phone call and lay Sammie in her crib, he slowly pushed open his bedroom door, seeing a lump on Sophia’s side of the bed completely covered by their comforter. He quietly closed the door behind him and walked over to his side of the bed, climbing in and pulling the covers over his head so that he was face to face with Sophia. “Hi~” He whispered to the teary eyed 19-year-old.

“I’m such a bitch~” Sophia mumbled, and Yoongi was quick to wrap his arm around her and pull him close to her.

“No, you’re not. You’re just stressed. I am too.” He assured her before pressing a kiss to the top of her head. After cuddling her in silence for a couple of minutes, he brought up the call to his dad. “I called my Dad, and they’re coming to pick Sammie up for the weekend.”

Sophia’s head shot up as she looked at him, quickly shaking her head. “No, we can’t force them to do that!”

“Soph,” She stopped talking as Yoongi got her attention. “You need a break.” Sophia bit her lip nervously. “And you know how much my family loves Sammie, so we’re not forcing them into anything. They’re just going to keep her tonight, maybe tomorrow night if you’re still feeling down, and we’re going to have some well-earned relaxation time.” Sophia nodded and once again rested her head against Yoongi’s chest. He lovingly stroked her hair as he asked her a serious question. “Do you want to talk to someone?”

Sophia shrugged. “I probably should, but I don’t know who.”

“If you want, Meagan said she would make sure to clear an opening for you.” Yoongi brought up the suggestion his therapist had made back when they had first brought Sammie home for the first time. “If not Meagan, then I’m sure there’s someone at CPAC, or somewhere else, that you would feel comfortable talking to.”

Sophia nodded and angled her head to look up at her fiancé. “Will it get better? Or at least easier?”

“I’m sure it will~” Yoongi brushed some of her hair out of her face. “We’re halfway through the semester, so that’s a start. Then we’ll get married and have an entire week to ourselves for our honeymoon.” A hint of a smile was already appearing on Sophia’s face at the thought of their quickly approaching wedding. “And then you’ll only have one semester left of school before you graduate, and your boss already assured you an automatic promotion and raise once you get your degree.” Yoongi reminded her before pressing a quick kiss her lips. “Trust me, things will get easier.”

Next Part

[capsing]

how long have you been a vegan for? also, do you have any tips for going vegan?

oh my what a plot twist! I thought it’d be a fandom ask :D

Well I’ve been vegan for… four years now I think, and I’ve been a vegetarian in the ten years that led up to that. 

(I’m not sure if you meant nutritional tips or mental tips, but I’m going to go with mostly the latter)

First, it’s great that you’re thinking about being vegan! it’s important to note, because the vegan community can unfortunately be very judgmental about people trying (and not succeeding) in their veganism. Don’t let those discourage you. I was a very picky eater before I became vegan, so I get that feeling of “but what would I eat?”, and there was a period in my life I knew I want to be vegan in the future, but that I can’t do it at that point.

It depends on which type of person you are, the process to become vegan. Some people just cut it all off at once, and that’s how they role - when they decide stuff in their life, they jump right into the deep end. (If you’re one of those you can check if your local vegan community [yes, there is one for sure] does a 22-days challenge, which is challenging yourself to go through a vegan diet for 22 days)

I’m on a different camp; I do stuff little by little. So when I became vegetarian, I did cut off all meat (including fish, because like, that’s sea-meat) from my diet, but cutting off eggs and milk products seemed pretty impossible. I disliked soy milk, and from a very selfish pov, I just didn’t want to cut off stuff that I enjoyed eating. So becoming vegan was a longer process (followed by the logic of: “I can get used to the taste, it doesn’t weigh out”). I started by cutting off eggs, then eating less milk products, then stopping. I don’t remember how long it took. I was very detemined to do it by myself, though, and have the conviction of it come from within me. That’s another thing - many people become convinced by listening to people talk about the animal products industry, but I’ve felt that I didn’t want someone else to convince me. I knew the industry was doing horrible stuff to animals, and that if I knew those animals personally, I’d love them. 

I’m going into such lengths about the mentality part because I think that once you’ve settled into a certain mentality, the small struggles you might face would be easier. You might go to a party and have no vegan options other than some veggies and everyone else would have nice sandwiches, and that’s the kind of thing that helps your resolve. There’d always (make that: in the foreseeable future) be a certain amount of social scrutiny over veganism, and everyone would love to tell you ALLLLLL of their MANY opinions about it. Men have it harder on the scrutiny department, because, for some reason, eating meat is linked with masculinity (?? must be alpha-top-predator bullshit). 

Quitting eating animal products is, I think, a bit like quitting other addictions - like smoking. In that sometimes you crave it, and in that if you do lapse, there are people who’d take it as “well that’s it I’ve tried and I’ve failed I’d never be able to make that change let’s chainsmoke a pack”. So that’s why I suggest to come to the decision of why you’re deciding to go vegan - do you care about the animals in the industry? The ecological damage the industry causes? Do you think it’s healthier for you?

Then to fully embed this conviction, and then go to the diet part.

You don’t have to pick just one - for example, a year after I became vegan I saw a documentary movie about milk, and after that I was like “well, that’s pretty bad for you.” It presented a very simple argument I never really thought about, that milk isn’t healthy for you, because milk is meant to make babies grow - so when it’s in your body, it wants to make you grow - but you’re an adult, so you don’t have any more growth to do…

For the diet part, well. You’d have to start learning how to cook. Which I found quite unfortunate. But you gotta. And once you’re vegan, you actually find quite a bit to eat. It depends on where you’re from though, and what’s available to you. There’s plenty of vegan blogs in every language though, so I’m sure if you’d search a bit you’d find one fitting for your geographical area. There’s also HappyCow that also has an app, for finding places to eat when you’re aboard. 

If you have Kosher stores nearby, buying groceries there would be easier for you - since the Kosher system marks all the foods with either Meat/Dairy/Neutral label. A more detailed explanation from people with food allergies. (Neutral can still have eggs in it though!)

I would recommend to take blood tests and follow up on Iron and B12. If you’d lack any of them in the follow-up, you could make up for it with supplements (under doctor consultation, taking too much of anything can affect badly on your body).

Good luck :)! Do know you’re making a difference. Apparently there’s even a Feel Good calculator for that. (I just wanted to factcheck some number I’ve had in my head about how many chickens it means you’re saving but ok that works too)

tldr

1. do your bloodtests 

2. make small dietry changes over time

3. check blood again see if it’s all cool

4. over time it ain’t a big deal pinky swear it to be so

5. sweeten the deal with watching cute vids of rescue cows or chickens asking for hugs

[restoringbalance8-blog]

Imperfection and a journey

Originally I was not going to post any information on here that was untrue: I do not want to reproduce someone else’s blog on health giving out information like ‘coconut oil is bad for you!’ because A) That’s not true and B) Even though it makes sense in their article, the facts are shallow and therefore extremely misleading, and C) 99% of the time the author (lol @ Stuff.co.nz ) have no good sources.

Which is why I was waiting till I knew for certain that hormone imbalance and balancing is a thing, by trialling out different methods to balance my hormones and looking at the results. But, all good things take time, and I’m super impatient so instead, I’m going to write about the things I’m doing to help balance my hormones and the reasons behind taking certain actions (according to my readings). In future posts, I will write about the results of certain actions (e.g. certain foods, herbs, exercise...) and hopefully, it will become helpful to anyone who reads this!

So, here goes nothing.

Hormone imbalance is usually the reason behind ‘why am I doing this, this and this and I still feel tired/overweight/hungry/fatigued/emotional/numb?!?!?’

Hormonal imbalance is becoming more and more frequent in the population as modern lifestyles subject us to a lot of toxins (think pollution, inorganic foods, additives, preservatives... basically anything un-natural). The population as a whole is seeing a rise in oestrogen dominance and excessive cortisol production. Oestrogen is primarily a female-associated hormone- an increased level of oestrogen will give people a more feminine appearance or outlook- e.g. boobs (or moobs), more emotionally sensitive, stored fat around hips and lower abdomen, etc. Cortisol is a stress hormone which is being excessively produced with the modern stresses of life- increased workload and what not. 

However, men are becoming more oestrogen dominant, giving them moobs or lower sperm counts. Women are having increased levels of oestrogen on top of their already oestrogen dominant nature, which is a concern since an imbalance of hormones is associated with fertility issues, unhealthy weight gain or inability to lose excess weight, water retention/bloating excessive mood swings, especially around ovulation/period time. Excruciating period pain a cause of hormonal imbalance- this is abnormal (well it is VERY common, but it’s not the way things should be... if that makes sense). Pretty much, an unhealthy increase of oestrogen is making the fun characteristics of the female not so fun by swinging them to an extreme. 

Personally, I am concerned with excessive oestrogen dominance and general hormonal imbalance with my inability to lose excess weight on my lower abdomen. I eat healthy like a crazy person, and I work out like an even crazier person- so I don’t really know why I don’t have that highly coveted 6-pack yet. It is most likely that my competitive and high-performance personality causes a lot of stress in my body and therefore, excessive hormone production. The female body is like an intricate and delicate clock- more so than a male’s (a male’s hormones is a lot less complex since they don’t have to make babies). There are a lot of things that contribute to hormone imbalance or balance, as seen in the picture below. I will list some lifestyle choices that I am undertaking to help (hopefully) balance my hormones!

1. Going off the pill- even though the pill didn’t seem to affect my weight, mood, or anything really, I felt a bit unnatural taking a small pill every morning that prevented my period- it scared me that something that small is so powerful in its effects, and even though having no period is great- if I’m gonna do this whole hormonal balance thing, the first step is probably getting off synthetic hormones

2. Less exposure to plastic water bottles and plastic- reusing your plastic water bottle is really bad as the plastic leeches toxins which the body recognises as ‘xenooestrogen’ (oestrogen outside the body) and releases aggressive oestrogen in the body.

3. No dairy or cheaply raised meats - I didn’t have to change this one as I have been dairy free and vegetarian for 4 years, but cows and factory-raised chickens are fed synthetic hormones in order to reproduce faster, which is then reproduced in their animal products. If you do eat meat, eggs or dairy- organic and free farmed is definitely the way to go. 

4. No soy- Ok I cheat on this one quite a bit because there is nothing like a good soy latte.. but I’m slowly switching to almond milk and coconut milk which I am growing to like very much. They say that if you’re skinny or old you can probably have soy, but I am neither (yes I’m slim but by no means skinny). This is because soy contains oestrogen. Fermented soy like Tamari sauce and Tempeh is given the OK. 

5. Increasing veggies, fat and protein intake. Cruciferous veggies like cabbage, bok choy, broccoli sprouts, cauliflower and kale are very good for detoxifying oestrogen. I am loving sauerkraut... it tastes so good on top of lentils and since sauerkraut is fermented cabbage, it is not only PROBIOTIC (good for gut health and digestion) but cruciferous (good for helping reduce antioxidants and linked to lowering cancer risk, hormone imbalance etc. etc.) In sum, eat your veggies people!

6. No parabens in skin lotions and using more natural products in general. I’m good at this one because in Year 10 I read something about how parabens are linked to breast cancer and I was obsessive even when I was 14 years old so I cut parabens out of my life 4eva. Tailor Skin Care has been my natural skincare saviour recently as I have only just discovered that moisturiser is essential in preventing gnarly pimples/redness, and Tailor ingredients make my skin all glowy and nice. Highly recommend!!

7. Eating heaps of vitamins! Vitamin A, C and Bs are just so good for you! Berries, Carrots, seaweed (I like CeresOrganics roasted seaweed- also very good for iodine supplementation- a  hormone essential for metabolism), oranges and all the citrus fruits.... eat da rainbow pretty much

8. Omega 3s and healthy fats- chia seeds, salmon if you eat it, brazil nuts and raw nuts in general (I am loving MotherEarth $4 DeluxeNatural nuts atm- best price I can find for raw nuts and also such a filling snack, helping me not buy Midnight Espresso cake lmao), coconut products---- looooving coconut oil for frying!!, extra virgin olive oil, AVOCADO: a little bit unattainable with $5 avocados as the norm in this Wellington winter :(  but I eat them when I can.

9. CHOCOLATE!!!! Dark of course- gotta avoid sugar as much as possible. The higher percentage, the better. I am loving Pana chocolate (expenny as $7 for a small bar but SO yum and so so so good for you). Add cacao to your smoothies for a perfect antioxidant boost. Cacao also helps reduce oestrogen and cortisol receptor binding- whatever that means- which pretty much means less weight gain and less stressy moments so it's a win-win.

10. Less hard physical exercise. Not to be confused with LESS exercise!! This one is hard for me- as I’m a go hard or go home kinda person. The good ol’ brain, apparently, cannot tell the difference between physical stress and emotional stress, and in women stress (whether it be emotional or physical) leads to an increase in aggressive oestrogen and cortisone (the stress hormone) production, leading to weight gain- since “in the old days” this response was necessary for survival. So I’m changing up my exercise routine from doing 6x hard workouts per week, into 2x hard workouts per week (like boxing or BodyPump). Every day in between I am trying to do something easy like BodyBalance, Yoga, Zumba, a small 20-30 minute HIIT Gym workout, or a 30 min run. So far, I have not put on any more weight from working out less hard, but I’m really intrigued to see how this goes.  I am trying to go to Yoga more as taking an hour to relax works wonders on balancing hormones, hence lessening weight gain. It’s no wonder you never ever see a fat yoga instructor!

11. Eating clean in general. Eating clean makes me feel so good. Even though cake tastes amazing, it makes my stomach miserable and my mental clarity is significantly worsened, so eating clean is really necessary for me to feel on peak performance!

12. Taking deep breaths, especially at work or uni. Helps reduce cortisone production. 

13. Less coffee. The last two weeks have been super hectic and I have been having one espresso a day- and my first day (today) without coffee has not been fun. Coffee is a stimulant and stimulates hormone production including cortisol, etc.

14. Sleep... I usually have a good sleeping pattern but recently I’ve been out of whack. Sleep is essential for producing hormones, which is critical for balancing hormones and ensuring that excess production of oestrogen and cortisol is prevented. Remember we are not trying to eliminate certain hormones- but balance them so that our bodies work efficiently and better. 

15. Herbs and natural remedies. I am still researching this, but I’ve heard that basil, siberian ginseng and liquorice tea are very good in helping to balance hormones, including blood sugar levels and insulin. So I will probably buy these in the next couple of days.

It is all so complex, but I’m getting used to it! 

just eat your veggies 

-K