#but also still play on my fic. idk ill have to think
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damn girl ur so sexy aha
#i might still change the header but im too tired to find and edit one right now lols#also that one is a gif that took me like. 4-6 HOURS to make?? lowkey embarrassing but yeah#idk rn tho#those colors look so nice tho#also url from x3wontstopthis-bomb —> x3ofravenkroft#im probably still gonna change it to something a bit more clever#but also still play on my fic. idk ill have to think#i want to keep the ofravenkroft bit though bc thats what i want to be known as yk#idk tho 🥱
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tired girl hours i’m just ranting bcos i don’t have enough time to cry
#tw rant#studying med is no joke. ik it was gonna be a commitment n that it wasnt gonna be easy n i thought i was prepared but im not#its my passion. i love what im studying and ive dedicated myself to this path but i just. its so hard n i just want to cry. everyday feels#so tiring. morning to night classes. when i get home i have to read 4 chapters MINIMUM n the books are so thick + exams almost everyday#i feel worse knowing there’s this 1 girl in my friend group that cant decide whether she likes me or not. one moment shes complimenting me#n asking where i get my outfits or my nails done or my earrings or whatever then praising me that i probably study the least out of everyone#yet still reach high student rankings but its not that im lazy im just so exhausted n its hard to have motivation... lowkey envy how my#friends study minimum 4 hours a day. we’re all tired n sleep deprived. even taking 30mins to eat makes me feel guilty. cant even watch 1 ep#of an anime bcos ill be thinking about the amount of work to do. and i have sm plans. i wanna be more active and have a healthier lifestyle#but i cant find it in me to wake up every 5am to go to the gym when i just wanna get as much sleep when im lucky to finish my studies today#i also dont see my bestest friends everyday anymore. some of us move to diff unis or some in diff majors. i just miss them so bad it hurts#and i miss the girl i used to be when i still had time and energy to indulge in my hobbies. i miss playing genshin and writing fics#just when i got back to writing and enjoyed it LOVED IT i had to go back to uni. i feel terribly lonely even when im always with people#im afraid ill completely lose grasp of the little things that make me happy bcos the weight of my responsibilities are heavier#im afraid ill be too focused on success again like i was when i was 17 and forget that its okay to relax too but idk#and i wanna meet more people make more friends have new experiences. i wanna feel alive again. and theres sm i wanna talk to or get to know#but im so afraid of people hurting me or disappointing me or people getting to know me only for the friendships to fail or we’ll dislike eac#h other. i wanna date and fall in love again and experience the romance my peers have. i wanna have someone to call my own person but the fe#ar of having someone only to lose them someday scares the hell outta me. im not ready for another heartbreak so i isolate myself and watch#people from afar. uni gives me sm freedom to do everything else and form my own identity but i dont wanna be Perceived. I wanna be heard and#seen n connect with people. but w my curreny state idt i can handle being vulnerable with others. it feels so lonely that the things i want#are out of my rrach but idt i can manage my time to meet new people and make new memories. i console myself by shopping a lot and going to#spas to relax yet i still find it hard to sleep. im afraid im wasting my time. im not as brave as i used to be. im not as efficient as i was#i get older and more tired and while i never questioned if studying med was the path i want i do question what will happen next#“is this all im ever going to be?” im good at what i do but day by day i lose sight of tje girl who knew how to laugh n smile. ik what makes#me happy but i rarely smile genuinely anymore. im so tired and want to sleep for a long time but i dont wanna fail. i dont wanna be NOT good#but it makes me cry when i know i can do many great things but i dont feel loved. people compliment me but dont approach me bcos they say im#intimidating or that im too quiet in class. i wish i could tell them i wanna join their parties too or i wanna meet their friends n hangout#but what if it doesnt work out? what if i wasted my time getting to know someone id eventually regret? what if im the disappointing one?#the days are getting shorter but it always feels like a long day. im ashamed to admit i want someone to hold me yet refuse to have anyone
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can we talk about the hench men. bc i love the hench men
#boris and pelayo are my favourite those are my GUYS#i have only played as a crime boss as vanya. but i love the hench men so much theyre a fucking fambily bro........#PELAYOOOOOOO 😭🥺🥺#thinking about how he knows what re genes are and hes obviously not a fan#but if you explain whats up w the boss he is just immediately okay w it and gets it#the whole crew is so accepting of the boss (sidestep) and i LOVE them i love the henchman#also nehal is great i love that her and boris are like rivals but also shes the team baby so shes cared about and they look out for her#i dont need the rangers to take down the farm ill make my own team. with blackjack and hookers#😭😭😭 i love them i NEED vanya (marta) to contact bo/pelayo at some point in the fic that lives in my head but idk when...#op#fh#also good morning im still sick i dont feel good ))): my tummy hurts
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switch!tzuyu x switch!fem!reader - “trying our best” (warnings: smut, praise, breast play, scissoring, clit stimulation, oral)
a/n: thank u to my pookie @soyeonsbabygirl for proof reading 🤗 first time writing for tzuyu, kinda nervy. i’ve had this idea in my head from the second i thought up this au. small issue that we’re going to fix with our imagination, as always: let’s pretend jyp is strict on hotel rooms and if the company placed/booked/whatever-the-balls two specific members in a room, they HAVE to the be ones who share it🙏idk if i’m lying ab the switch tags bc i think that’s what’s happening, but idk tbh. maybe if i feel generous in the future ill write a fic about how her and the reader ended up getting caught and what their punishment was. for now, much love and enjoy pookabutts😘
word count: 1.8k
“goodnight you two, don’t do anything you know you’re not supposed to.”
jeongyeon warns and gives you and tzuyu a kiss before walking to the door and shutting it behind her.
you and tzuyu are the best girls for your unnies, you never get in trouble. your notoriously great behavior has fully merited their trust, yet letting you two share a hotel room still seemed risky. everyone insisted that being alone with each other would be too tempting, but there was nothing they could do about it.
you both promised—specifically to jihyo that you would sleep on separate beds, and wouldn’t try anything, and you plan to follow through on that promise.
“are you tired?” tzuyu’s voice bellows throughout the room. “i guess.” you get up and lock the door before walking to the other bed. “well, goodnight.” tzuyu turns off her bedside lamp and lays down, draping the covers over herself.
“goodnight.” you do the same as her and get comfortable. you close your eyes, trying your best to clear your head, but you’re far too hyper-aware of the fact that she’s right next to you. you really wouldn’t dare disobey the others, but it’s all you can think about.
the minutes rush by and you still can’t manage to fall asleep, completely immersed in your less than holy thoughts about tzuyu. you toss and turn, but nothing works.
“y/n, are you asleep?” you hear a murmur in the dark and turn to face tzuyu’s bed. “no.” there’s a few seconds of awkward silence before tzuyu speaks up again.
“i know we said we wouldn’t, but do you want to sleep with me? i just feel so isolated.” you think about it for a second, you desperately want to say yes, but you know you can’t. “tzuyu…”
“please, they won’t find out. the door is locked and they have no other way of checking on us.” she is correct, there’s no way they can find out unless they enter the room, which they can’t do if the door is locked. and you always lock the door when you’re in a hotel; it wouldn’t raise any suspicion.
“okay…” you get up and walk to her bed, hesitantly joining her under the covers. you turn away from her, too scared that you won’t be able to control yourself if you face her. you both say goodnight again and the deafening silence returns.
falling asleep is significantly more difficult now that tzuyu is right next to you. you can feel the warmth emanating off her body and you want nothing more than to turn around and kiss her. you can also feel your own warmth stretching from your flustered cheeks to your aching core.
“i can’t sleep.” you’re jolted out of your trance of sorts by tzuyu turning on the light. you turn to look at her and she sits up against the headboard, so you do the same. “me neither.” you reply, trying to hide your reddened face.
“i’m bored.” she says, tucking her hair behind her ears. “me too.” you look around the room, trying to think of something else to continue the conversation. “you think the others are asleep?” she exhales before answering. “let’s think critically here, none of them can keep their hands off each other.” you look down at the floor. “yeah…”
you both sit without saying anything. having her so close but not being able to touch her how you want is absolute torture. you bite down on your thumb as a weak attempt to distract yourself, but it doesn’t work in the slightest.
you look over at her, head tossed back on the bed frame, eyes closed, and arms inside her shirt. you’ve never been one to make impulsive decisions, but your desire for her completely takes over.
“tzuyu…” you call out, inching closer to her. “wha-“
you crash your lips into hers, cutting off her sentence. the kiss is slow and sends heatwaves straight to your core. her lips feel amazing, you swear you’ll never be able to separate from them. you let your tongue wander inside her mouth and she gladly takes it in. you entangle it with hers, lifting your hand to cup her face.
she pulls away and you whine in frustration. “we can’t.” her actions greatly differ from her words; she tugs the collar of your shirt towards her and continues kissing you.
“why not?” you repeat the pattern of pulling away and going right back to the heated kiss every time either of you speaks. “we promised.” “they won’t find out,” you pause your sentence to keep tasting her “like you said, the door is locked.”
it appears you’ve fully convinced her as she pulls you closer and makes you straddle her. you let your hands get lost in her hair as she grabs your face.
you can already feel a pool of slick collecting on your underwear while you’re squirming on her lap. the air in the room suddenly feels hot and your clothes start feeling like a burden.
“take off your clothes.” you instruct, getting up to do the same. you toss your things to the side, not caring where it lands. you watch as tzuyu rips everything off and crawls to the edge of the bed to sit.
you admire her body with a smirk before pushing her down and getting on top of her. the truth is, neither of you has any experience with being in control, but you’ll have to make do.
“you’re so pretty.” you whisper in her ear, moving your mouth down to her neck. “you’re so pretty.” you kiss her chest, making sure not to leave any new marks that the others could notice.
you gradually move lower until you reach her tits. you take one of the into your mouth and she lets out a loud moan. you slap your hand over her mouth to shush her.
“nayeon and jeongyeon are right beside us, do you really want them to hear?” you take your hand off and she brings her own hand to her mouth, urging you to keep going.
your mouth goes back to her tit, sucking and biting it gently. her choked moans make your pussy drip, you can’t wait any longer. you replace your mouth with your hand and tap on her thigh. “can you spread your legs?” “mhm.”
she does so and you swing one of your own legs over one of hers so that your pussy is directly aligned with hers.
you look into her eyes waiting for approval to go on, but she just pushes your hips down instead, making your soaked cunt collide with hers. you almost scream out from the feeling, but bite down on your finger to stop yourself.
you gyrate your hips, twitching slightly every time your clits touch. “you’re so fucking hot.” tzuyu coos from beneath you and pulls you down to her lips. you moan and whine into her mouth, trying to remain as quiet as possible.
you no longer care in the slightest about how many rules you’re breaking, the only thing on your mind is how amazing tzuyu sounds.
“you feel so good, tzu.” your sentence comes out hurried and broken, the feeling of tzuyu’s pussy on yours messing with your senses. “hm, thank you.” an inebriating smile adorns her lips as she responds. one of her hands remains placed on your hip, pushing you down against herself. you lean back, resting your weight on your hands as you brush your hair back.
“faster.” she hums while digging her nails into your skin. you whine at the feeling and speed up, making tzuyu reflexively thrust her hips up.
“shit, don’t stop.” her back arches as she pleads with you. “i wouldn’t do that to us both.” you giggle and bend down to meet her lips.
you can feel your muscles beginning to contract and hold onto tzuyu’s hand against the mattress.
“i’m so close.” you cry out and squeeze your eyes shut. “hm—me too.” hearing her weak whimper is all you need to reach your climax. you fiercely hold tzuyu’s hand as your hips shake, silencing your moans with her lips. you don’t stop until you see her body tense and she lets out a string of profanities with her orgasm.
when she completely finishes, you let yourself fall down on her chest, completely slumped. you both lay there panting without moving until your heart rates settle and you regain your composures.
“you’re incredible.” she traces your lips with her fingers and you look up at her. “i pay attention.” she laughs at you, pushing you off of her to get on top of you.
“it’s my turn to show you how well i pay attention.”
your eyes widen at her remark, you didn’t think she could sound any hotter, but somehow she does. she kisses down your neck, going past your chest and all the way to your stomach. she plants a kiss right above your core and your hips jerk forward.
she stands up and pats down the edge of the bed for you to sit. she then kneels in front of you, opening your legs with her hands. you can feel the slick pouring out of you, she looks absolutely ravishing on her knees for you.
she kisses your thighs as you stroke her hair with a smile on your face, completely drowning in how beautiful she looks.
she looks up at you and dips her tongue between your folds, already earning desperate moans from you. her tongue moves with great agility, sucking your clit and pushing into your entrance every time she passes it.
you give her feedback in the form of hushed whines and whimpers, still very aware of the people on the other side of the wall.
“does that feel good?" she asks in a sweet, innocent voice, the contrast between her actions and her inflection adding to your arousal.
you whine and arch your back slightly, pushing tzuyu’s face further into you. she chuckles as she lets go of your clit with an audible ‘pop.’
“y/n, answer my question.” she begs with the same tone and you look down at her, a dangerous glint painted on her eyes.
“hm,” your attempt at answering comes out as a moan and your cheeks redden as you feel tzuyu’s laugh against your pussy.
"i think,” you whimper into your own hand as she pushes her fingers inside you. “i think you can tell, ah fuck.” she mercilessly pumps her fingers in and out of you while her lips wrap around your clit.
it doesn’t take long for the edges of your vision to glow white, you orgasm hitting you without warning. you grab a fistful of tzuyu’s hair, holding her in place. she eagerly swallows every bit of sticky white fluid pooling out of you, allowing you to fully come back from your high.
you let go of her hair when you realize how hard you were holding onto it and she stands up. “i think i won.” she teases, coming closer to sit on your lap.
“oh, it was a competition? in that case, i think i’d like a rematch.”
#twice tzuyu#twice x fem reader#twice x y/n#twice x you#twice x reader#twice fanfic#twice#twice smut#twice imagines#twice smau#twice fic#tzuyu smut#tzuyu x reader#tzuyu x fem reader#chou tzuyu#tzuyu#tzuyu twice#tzuyu imagines#twice smutty#wlw ns/fw#wlw smut#wlw post#wlw#smut#smut fic#smutty fanfiction#kpop#kpop gg#kpop gg smut#gg x reader
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intro post <3
don't mind me editing this like every single day lol
my dm's and askbox is always open if u want to talk <3
anons are welcome too <3
also if u want to make new friends i am right here pls say hi im fucking lonely😭
anyways
BELOVED MOOTS <33333 (everyone is tagging them and this is fun)
this in no particular order just whoever pops up on my dash or smth idk. not every moots just the ones i actually know lol. ok so
@im-ur-sleep-paralysis-demon THEY'RE AMAZING LOVE THEM SM IF U DON'T FUCK OFF BECAUSE OMG KJHLGJKFJHLKYFJHKJGL
@ma-lan13 HELP MY BESTIE IRL GOT TUMBLR OMG OMG. AND SHES ACTUALLY USING IT WTF?????? ANYWAYS SHES THE BEST <333
@bloophasarrived SHE'S THE SWEETEST AND SO WONDERFUL. HER PERSONALITY SPARKLES AND OMG SHE'S SO FUN AHHH
@marylily-my-beloved I LOVE HERRR WE HAVE THE BEST CONVERSATIONS. SO NICE AND EASY TO TALK TO. AND WHY DOES SHE KNOW ME SO WELL <3333
@im-just-here4853 my vent buddy omg we just vent to each other i love her so much idk what i would do without her <33
@im-on-crack-send-help TWINNING IN LITERALLY EVERYTHING. SAME MUSIC TASTE. SAME TASTE IN FOOD. IN DRINKS. IN THE WAY WE THINK. WTF. ANYWAYS SHE'S MY POOKIE I LOVE HER <333
@the-gay-skeleton-in-ur-closet THEY'RE THE BEST OMGGGGG and they're nice and cool and shit <333333 i'm quoting myself it's fine AND LIKE SO NICE AND GOOFY AND EVERYTHING OMG
@cubemagnet somene i met on a random post and now we occasionally team up to correct grammar lol 🤓🤓🤓 anyways she's amazing :D and everything she says is so iconic like isjflsrijglruhglsuglijrsg
@book-girl4eva SHE'S AMAZINGGGGG. IT'S SO EASY TO GOOF AROUND W HER I LOVE IT. SHE ALWAYS SLAYS SO HARD. EVERYTHING ABOUT HER SLAYS. idk if you'll see this but this is for u pookie <3
@mil-pinterest-sss-here-i-am ??? questioning why we're moots. but he's literally so nice. literally will be my therapist and help me w maths because that shit is impossible 😭
@dandelionflowery omg literally so kind and everything all the time. so fun fun reading their fics and doing shit together omg
@sweetwarmcookies16 OMG RIJGDJFGIJFGIF THE BEST I LOVE PLAYING GAMES TOGETHER AND TALKING AND EVERYTHING. ALSO AN AMAZING WRITER
idk brain isnt braining ill add ppl as i go along
moodboards made by my lovely lovely moots <3
so far i only have one here cause i forgot to link the previous ones whoops 😭😭😭
about me
i'm ari. she/her. nicknames welcome. go wild. dude/bro/girl/literally anything is also fine. i use 'lol' and '<3' too much. minor. literally the biggest procrastinator and so disorganised i dare u to find someone worse than me. i'm indian but i live in australia. bengali/north indian idk. band kid :D my pinterest is here. PLEASE DM ME IF U WANT TO. I NEED FRIENDS. IM AWKWARD AND BAD AT MAKING CONVERSATION BUT STILL PLS 😭😭😭
personality/star sign or whatever
according to the mbti test here i am an istp-t. i am also a cancer. i found out my sun, moon and rising signs and the marauders version and i wrote it down and lost it so then i redid it and i lost it again so i can't bother at this point someone help me :(
time zone
Australian Eastern Standard Time (AEST) i think?? SUCK ON THAT AMERICANS AND WHOEVER ELSE EHHEHEHHEHE ;LSDJFSFJIJFDJF;LJ
my music taste
i love taylor swift, conan gray, olivia rodrigo, sabrina carpenter and honestly a lot of other stuff lol. also love bollywood music.
favourite books and authors
i love reading and i'm usually a really fast reader lol. i love harry potter (fuck jkr tho), kotlc, chetan bhagat books, the inheritance games, agggtm, literally all of karen m. mcmanus's books, the divergent series, pjo and hoo, lorien legacies, the selection, powerless, soc, girl in pieces, dictionary of lost words and bookbinder of jericho, all the books by amish, and a bunch of other books.
dni
idk the usual?? if u think ppl arent valid or you're literally an asshole. honestly you all can go get stuffed. idgaf
tag games and shit
yes you can absolutely tag me. i love tag games and chain asks. sometimes i may not get to doing it but i usually will and it makes me so happy when i'm tagged lol
tags
i don't post that much stuff so i don't really have mulitple tags for my posts. anything or any shitposting or thoughts will be tagged #ari's shit. for asks it's #ari gets an ask?
fandoms!
i'm literally obsessed with drarry but i'm mostly part of the marauders fandom. i'm starting to make my way through all of the marauders fics. i love love love hermitcraft. i'm an ethogirl literally who doesn't love etho?? also really into trafficblr. i literally love six of crows so much like omg. desperately trying to get through the magnus archives im only 8 years late haha i also love kotlc sm. (team foster-keefe forever!) i'm low-key in love with keefe sencen cause omg. aaaand also a bunch of other shit but those are the main ones idk bro
i'm bored and this is too long already might as well add more so here are a bunch of userboxes :D
and that's all not because i have self control but because there is a limit to images per post 😭😭😭 i literally had to delete some of my aesthetic images for this soooo
all the above photos are not mine, i got them off of pintrest.
my profile pic is obviously from the makowka picrew here
the beautiful dividers are linked here. these are by @saradika-graphics she is a literal star these dividers are so good
IK THIS IS WAY TOO FUCKING LONG AND I KEEP ON ADDING SHIT MORE SHIT SO IF U ACTUALLY LIKE READ TO THE BOTTOM THIS HERE IS FOR U LMFAO ILYSM <333333
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it makes me physically ill to think about months after Johnny and Dally’s deaths, the boys are sitting at the dinner table and Ponyboy makes some offhand comment about Darry hitting him and Daryl just breaks down. all the walls crumble and he’s a mess, because he keeps pushing down the fact that he believes he is a bad person. and then Pony is at a loss for what to do because he’s never seen Darry like this, but Sodapop is getting flashbacks to Throwing In The Towel and seems to know exactly what’s happening. I am so invested in Ponyboy and Darry fix-it fics because I think Darry feels soooo much guilt for hitting him and he keeps bottling it up. like oh my god. just- so sad
i am so invested in THIS can you please write a fic abt it fr. i think he def carries a lot of heavy guilt for a longggg long time like years after canon and never really gets over it even once pony starts coming to peace. therapy isn’t really a thing for them tbf but goddd do these boys need it. BUT also at the same time i think it’s sort of a situation of like. darry’s not perfect either and he’s still darry, he still gets needlessly angry sometimes and takes it out on people even if they don’t deserve it, even if he doesn’t really know why he’s doing this to himself and to others. idk grief and healing and abuse cycles and (intergenerational) trauma. allllll the things play a role it’s not as easy as ppl think it is!!!! he doesn’t want to hurt pony or fight but sometimes he yells and he can’t help it!! its who he is and there’s generations of abuse and trauma working against him and since its the 60s he doesn’t have the verbiage or knowledge of how to break trauma/abuse/etc cycles like we do. like it’s absolutely not as easy as one traumatic event occurring and suddenly they’re perfect siblings again. darry i love you 🙁
#the outsiders#asks#darry curtis#ponyboy curtis#not that i think darry is abusive but that’s beside my point
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Dreaming Of You
Gar Logan x Fem!Mute!Powered!Reader
Part Two: Our Past, Our Present, Our Future
Summary:
After having an argument with Gar that nearly ends your friendship, you decide to finally get over your fear of using your own powers and finally embrace them. If you do things just right, you could finally get everything that you (and Gar) have ever wanted.
Gar Logan x Fem!Mute!Powered!Reader. Best Friends to Lovers. Smut, (Slight) Angst and Fluff. Set during Season 2.
Word Count: 18,000
DC Titans Masterlist | AO3 Link | Series Masterlist
THIS IS A RE-POST. This is a fic from my old blog (a blog that was shadowbanned, forcing me to move). This fic is not stolen, it is completely mine, and I am just re-posting it to help people find my new blog, and to make my masterlist complete when I post new fics for this fandom.
Detailed warnings and author's notes below the cut.
Warnings: general emotional angst (due to the reader and Gar having emotional distance from having an argument at the end of the other chapter), (very light) canon level violence, mentions of medical experimentation/medical torture, the reader character has medical trauma from years of illness, mentions of medical debt, manipulation and emotional abuse (from Doctor Caulder toward Gar and the reader), mentions of burns/burn scarring, mention of the reader being abandoned by her parents, mentions of vomit (no graphic descriptions), the reader character has a seizure, (likely) improper first aid performed for a seizure, the reader has chronic illness/chronic pain, use of prescription medication, the reader is more feminine (wears lacy underwear), the reader has a vagina and uses she/her pronouns.
This chapter contains smut - both dream fantasies and played out sexual acts. The reader character is mute but all consent is enthusiastic and clear, biting/marking kink, some dirty talk, semi-public sex (having sex in the communal area of a house - also, coincidentally, the sex fic I have read where characters have sex in a space that just happens to have a camera in it), scent kink, oral - reader receiving, multiple orgasms (reader receiving), (slight) overstimulation (reader receiving), hair pulling kink (Gar receiving), it’s implied that the reader and Gar are virgins but it’s not lingered on and it’s not a plot point of the fic, unprotected sex, creampie, penis in vagina sex, rough sex, (idk how to phrase it?) marriage kink/commitment kink, passionate sex/love making, Gar calls the reader ‘wife’ (in a fantasy sequence), some mentions of blood (the reader scratches Gar’s back and draws blood by accident), I believe that’s it.
A/N: I still think this is one of the most iconic things that I have ever written lmao. I love it so much and I'm so proud of it. Anyway, enjoy the repost.
...
After the argument, you didn’t see Gar for the rest of the day.
When Dick came in to check on your progress with training, he immediately questioned why Gar was missing. You made up a lame excuse about how he had been feeling sick (which had to be translated to Dick by Jason) and Dick complained that all of you had to learn to ‘work through’ things like illness, but at least he didn’t question why Gar had locked himself in his room for the rest of the night and didn’t come to dinner.
After you had washed the dishes and sulked through the rest of your nightly routine, you considered knocking on Gar’s bedroom door before finally going to bed yourself - but you just couldn’t bring yourself to face him.
You had truly hurt him, and you weren’t sure how you were going to recover from it.
As you laid in bed that night, so strung up with guilt that you couldn’t sleep, you stared at the ceiling. Of course, all you could think about was Gar.
You thought back to when you had first met him - going over those first days of your friendship in your mind. The undeniable way that the two of you were drawn so close together. In friendship or in that unutterable, constantly denied romance - the two of you were soulmates.
And you had fucked it all up.
You missed your best friend so badly. You wondered where it had all gone so wrong.
…
You felt lucky that Doctor Caulder had taken you in.
Before him, before the serum, your last chance at moving out of the palliative care ward would have been offering your body as a live cadaver up for experiential treatment. It was something that might have put a dent in your medical debts, but it also would have meant a lot of pain and torture as your body was used as a trial for vastly experimental medicine and treatments - none of which were guaranteed to prolong your life as the deadly brain tumors grew to consume your brain, seemingly trapping you in a loop of pain and torture for those last few years that you had.
At the time, Doctor Caulder was a savior to you.
He used the money he had from his dense inherited wealth to pay off all of the medical debt you had acquired from your lifetime of illness, giving you only one very small catch in the face of this intense generosity. He wanted your consent to try out his serum on you, claiming that it would either do nothing to change your condition, or it would be the magical cure-all that you had been looking for.
(He conveniently let out the fact that in your state of unwellness, with your weakened body, there was a large possibility that the serum could overwhelm your senses, stopping your heart - but that was a risk he was more than willing to take.)
Honestly - while you didn’t believe him - you couldn’t bring yourself to turn him down.
You had no other options, after all.
After he injected you with the serum and you woke up with your sight fully restored, you were shocked. It had somehow shrunk down the tumor in your brain enough that it was no longer pressing on your optic nerve, and you could once again experience the world in full, glorious vision.
It was something you were entirely excited by as you arrived at what would be your new home. Doctor Caulder had described it as a ‘vacuum of scientific advancement against the bureaucracy of the world’. Naturally, you had expected some kind of cold looking industrial building, another medical center that you would be trapped inside for years to come.
You certainly hadn’t thought that it would be a sprawling, gorgeous Victorian mansion in the secluded, peaceful countryside.
He brought you inside and set down your bag. You were too busy marveling at the details of the architecture, the stunning antique decorations, taking it all in after years of being deprived of sight to truly notice anyone else in the building at first.
You didn’t notice anyone else there until Doctor Caulder spoke to him.
“Ah, Garfield, I’m glad I caught you.”
You turned at the sound of someone’s name being called. Caulder had warned you that you would be living with several other people - people who he had helped and was continuing to help with their ‘unique conditions’.
When you looked over at him, the person that Doctor Caulder had called Garfield, the only truly unique thing you spotted about him was his bright green hair. That, and the fact that he was startlingly attractive.
Garfield paused his footing halfway down the hallway as Doctor Caulder spoke to him. When he turned back around to give the man his attention, you noticed that he had a candy bar poking out of his mouth as he held it there between his teeth, and a pair of large headphones over his ears with some kind of handheld gaming system in his hands. He reached up and moved one half of the headphones off to the side when he realized his full attention was needed. Then he bit off the candy bar, moving to shove the rest of it, mostly still wrapped, into the pocket of his large green hoodie.
“What’s up, Chief?” He asked, his mouth obviously stuck together by the candy and some chocolate slightly smeared on the side of his mouth.
“Garfield, please don’t talk with your mouth full.” Caulder - apparently the Chief, quickly scolded him.
You guessed that he found it rude because he was more uptight and proper, more old fashioned. But it was something that you easily found adorable and charming.
Garfield hung his head in shame and made a clear effort to swallow, running his tongue over his teeth to somewhat clean his mouth before he spoke again.
“Sorry.” He mumbled quietly. “Did you need something?”
It was then that he really eyed you up and down, as though he had just noticed you standing there.
You felt entirely out of place, but tried your best not to look nervous, and simply smiled as his eyes landed on your face. You noticed a small tinge of pink come over his cheeks when he finally made eye contact with you. His eyes made a quick jolt back to the carpet, obviously nervous and not wanting to linger on you.
“I’m sure you’ve heard Cliff mention my newest patient.” Doctor Caulder told him, gently motioning toward you. “Y/N will be staying with us for the foreseeable future while I explore her condition and any affects the serum has had on her.”
Garfield nodded at this. The wild tendrils of his green hair bobbed in a very adorable way with the motion, and you suppressed a giggle because of it.
“I’ll need you to show her around and help her get settled in for now, because I need to go up to my office and work on some notes while everything is still fresh in my mind. I’d like not to be disturbed for the next few hours, is that clear?” Doctor Caulder ordered, his voice calm, but oddly stern.
Garfield’s face twisted slightly into a frown, as though he was afraid of the possible consequences if he did disturb the man. But nonetheless, he nodded once again.
“Understood.” He said simply.
Doctor Caulder gave him a curt nod and then walked up the stairs, leaving you in the hands of your seemingly meek, very handsome tour guide.
He stepped toward you, and then realized the game console was still beeping in his hands. So he pushed a few buttons, shutting it off, and then he shoved it into his pocket as well before he slid his large headphones to sit around his neck.
“Hi, I’m Garfield. You probably heard that. But you can just call me Gar. I prefer it.” He rushed these words out in a puff of air, seemingly still very nervous to be in your presence.
You nodded at this. Before you could communicate in any way that you wouldn’t really be ‘calling’ him anything because of your mutism, he let out a huff - something akin to a nervous laugh and steamed rolled right into more conversation. He didn’t really seem to mind your silence.
“Y/N, right?” He posed, easily remembering your name from when Doctor Caulder had introduced you.
You nodded once again, giving him a small smile.
“That’s a really pretty name. It matches you. I mean- I-” He stumbled over his words, clearly nervous that he had unintentionally said something flirtatious. “I’m supposed to introduce you to everyone, right? Come on.”
He then took you on a tour of the sprawling house, his chatter filling the air in a most perfect way. The more he talked, the more he seemed to gain confidence around you. He became filled with energy, fueled by the things he was saying. Especially when he spoke about the house and the daily life that he lived there, pointing out the different rooms and where you could make yourself comfortable. His words filled the space so well that he didn’t seem to notice the fact that you couldn’t talk.
As he took you on the tour, you came across the different eclectic members of the household and Gar introduced you to them. And you very quickly came to realize what Doctor Caulder had meant by ‘unique conditions’.
If you didn’t have your vision freshly restored in order to see it, you likely wouldn’t have believed it. But they were very real.
Gar introduced you to Cliff - someone who looked more like a machine than a man, squeaky joints and all. But it quickly became apparent to you that he had a shining personality underneath all that metal, and his humanity wasn’t easily defined by something like rust and bolts. He was working on a half-disassembled car in the large garage, and Gar explained to you how the mostly mechanical man was an ex-racer who had gotten into a bad accident and been put back together by The Chief.
He then introduced you to Larry - who was in the kitchen, baking some kind of very tall, very impressive multi-layered cake (apparently in celebration of your arrival). He made a comment about you ‘being rather quiet’ and you just shrugged. They would probably be amused later when they found out why.
Larry didn’t want to comment much or explain the reason that his entire body was covered in bandages, and you understood why. In your mind, you assumed that he had been badly burned and the bandages covered some kind of scarring. The visual reminded you of people who had passed through the palliative care ward with severe burns over their bodies and didn’t survive long because of it. But he seemed to move without pain and he was obviously thriving, so whatever Doctor Caulder had done for him - it had worked.
Gar tried to introduce you to the last member of the household - Rita - but when he knocked on her bedroom door, he was met with silence. He simply told you that she likely wasn’t feeling well. And that you understood deeply as well.
The house tour extended down into the basement, because Gar was very excited to show you his room. You couldn’t bring yourself to disrupt his rolling speech or dampen down his swell of excitable energy.
He was showing you some of his movie posters - something for a movie called Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein. It was a movie you had never heard of before, and you only found yourself truly paying attention in order to learn about it now because Gar spoke about it with so much enthusiasm.
“-it’s considered one of the first examples of parody ever in cinema, an effort to take horror, something that truly terrified audiences at the time, and turn it comedic. Like shining a light on that monster under the bed so he’s no longer scary. It’s brilliant.”
Gar rambled on, his breath almost entirely escaping him as his enthusiasm overpowered his lungs.
You couldn’t help but to feel a swell of fondness as you looked at him.
His passion was so intensely palpable, it gave you goosebumps. It was a very old film that you likely wouldn’t have taken an interest in. But the way he talked about it - like it was revolutionary, like it was the most interesting thing in the world. It made you want to watch it ten times just to get to know him better, just to have a small taste of the passion that he felt so epically for it.
You didn’t know it then, but feeling his overwhelming enthusiasm spreading in the air was the beginnings of your very intense crush on him. It was the moment that you started falling for him.
“You know originally, Lou Costello scoffed at the idea of even making-” Gar suddenly cut himself off, a look of dawning crossing his features. “Woah, I’ve been talking for such a long time, haven’t I?”
Technically, yes.
But you would have been perfectly content to stand there and listen to him talk for hours more about this film or any of the others related to posters that he had on the wall. His enthusiasm and the way it was backed up by factual knowledge made him endlessly interesting to listen to.
In response, you simply shrugged.
Yes, he had been talking for a long time. But - you enjoyed listening. His tone and the abrupt way he had cut himself off made it sound like he had burdened you with his ramblings, and you weren’t sure why.
“Sorry.” He giggled, scratching the back of his neck nervously. “I’m probably being so annoying. I haven’t even let you talk about yourself at all. What - what kind of movies do you like?”
He seemed nervous suddenly, as though he had become self conscious in the conversation.
You filled with nerves as well, coming to the realization that you would now have to communicate to him that you couldn’t talk.
You motioned toward your throat, hoping he would be able to see the scar from the surgery that had stolen your ability to speak so long ago. Rather than understanding, Gar’s face knit with confusion.
“What, did the sea witch steal your voice?” He asked. The action reminded him a lot of that cartoon mermaid, desperately tapping on her throat, trying to explain to others why she couldn’t speak. “Do you need a kiss from a handsome prince to get it back?”
The words escaped him before he could stop it - and then he realized that it sounded entirely more flirtatious than he intended.
He bit his lip nervously and you let out a giggle. You became entirely overwhelmed by your own nerves, and your undeniable attraction toward him. If you were feeling at all bold, you might have leaned over and kissed him in that moment. But something in the back of your mind told you that it was rude - that he hadn’t truly meant it, that it was strange to come onto him so soon after meeting him.
When the awkwardness swelled inside of him, he rushed to speak again.
“Sorry,” He blurted out. “That was probably insensitive. If you’re really mute, that’s like a disability, and you shouldn’t make jokes about people’s disabilities-”
You vigorously shook your head, meaning to tell him that ‘no, I liked the joke’.
But his eyes instantly grew wide, believing that you were shaking your head negatively, believing that he was truly being insensitive and rude.
You raised your hands and began explaining it in sign language, and he sighed in defeat.
“I’m sorry.” He said. “I don’t - I don’t understand.”
Then, a look of dawning came over his face so strong it was almost as if a cartoon lightbulb appeared over his head. He then rushed into the other room - there was some ripping of paper (what you didn’t know was him ripping pages he had used out of a notebook so that you wouldn’t see them). After a moment, he rushed back toward you, thrusting a notebook and a pen in your direction.
You took it happily, and began writing.
‘Yes, I am completely mute. Yes, it is technically a disability. And yes, I did think your joke about the sea witch was funny. But… I don’t think a kiss from a prince will fix me.’
You passed it to him and after he read it, he gave a small chuckle.
“Yeah, that wasn’t so smooth on my part.” He said. “What happened? To your voice?”
You explained it to him. You spent a long time passing the notebook back and forth, explaining things to him about yourself and your life.
You told him how you had been ill for as long as you could remember, and it had only gotten worse as you progressed into your teen years. And eventually, the mounting medical debt became too stressful for your parents so they abandoned you and disappeared with no way for creditors to track them down. They had left you orphaned in the most cruel way.
Gar’s eyes danced with tears when he read this. You didn’t know it then, but he vowed to himself that he would always be by your side. He would be the one person who never left you, no matter what happened in life that might try to draw the two of you apart.
‘Can I ask you something?’ You scrawled out, passing the notebook to Gar with careful curiosity on your mind.
“Yeah, anything.” He replied.
‘Why are you here? What is Doctor Caulder helping you with?’
You were tempted to add on something about how he ‘looked normal’ - but you didn’t want to accidentally insult him.
“My condition… it’s uh…” Gar stuttered through his attempt at an explanation, and confusion flooded your features. “It’s probably just easier if I show you?”
You nodded in acknowledgement that you understood, and Gar put the notebook aside and stood from the couch where the two of you had been seated, talking for hours.
“Would you - uh - would you mind closing your eyes for a second?” He asked, once again draped in that nervous energy.
You hesitated for a second, but then complied. You weren’t sure how him ‘showing’ you would go if you had your eyes closed. But you trusted him to harness in that condition - whatever strange ability the serum had given and not let it hurt you. You felt safe around him even though you had only known him for a short time. And you wanted to make him comfortable rather than arguing about it.
You were curious when you heard some gentle rustling, and you cringed slightly when you heard what sounded like the cracking of bones. You hoped that whatever he was doing, it didn’t cause him any pain.
Your curiosity became too great and you opened your eyes when you heard a low rumbling. If you weren’t mistaken, it sounded like the purring of a very large cat.
Shock instantly overtook you when you opened your eyes to see that standing in front of you in the middle of the carpet - rather than Gar - there was a very large tiger with bright green fur. When your sight had been restored, you never, ever thought that this would be one of the first things you would get to see.
Your first instinct was to pull your feet up onto the couch, and the tiger - which you quickly had to reason was Gar, who had somehow shifted his body into a different form - hung his head in shame when he saw the fear overtake your body. You didn’t want to be afraid of him. You shouldn’t be, right? He had been nothing but kind to you since the two of you had met. He wouldn’t use this odd power to endanger you.
When you looked into those large animal eyes, you saw nothing but kindness. And you couldn’t resist the urge to step off the couch and lean out, petting a hand gently under his furry chin.
It was then that you were struck with the realization. The dream you had of being married to a large green tiger - it had likely meant something.
But you couldn’t bring yourself to linger on it.
Instead, you scratched under his chin and he purred, and you giggled at the fact that such a large, possibly terrifying animal was so docile under your touch.
(When Gar transformed back, you would deny that you snuck a glance at him changing back into his clothes. And you would definitely deny that you became obsessed with what you saw.)
…
Later that night, you met Rita when she came down to join everyone for dinner. She was a lovely, sweet woman. She was actually the only person (aside from Doctor Caulder) at the table who understood your ASL, though she didn’t seem eager to explain where she had learned it. You knew that everyone in the house had somewhat of a painful past, so you didn’t bother to ask.
The cake Larry had made turned out beautiful. A towering masterpiece that everyone had to purposefully crane their necks around as they spoke to each other. You couldn’t help but marvel in wonder at it and the rest of the amazing spread he had made. Gar told you that it really wasn’t that out of the ordinary, seeing as cooking was Larry’s favorite hobby.
You felt slightly bad for Cliff - seeing as he sat with an empty plate in front of him. But he seemed to show up to the meal mostly out of habit, family obligation, and a slight curiosity to get to know you. So you tried your best to answer everyone’s questions and be welcoming to the new friendships.
You enjoyed the meal well. Everything was delicious, and compared to the food you once ate on the ward - it was heaven. Everything seemed to be going perfectly.
Larry cut the cake and made sure that you got the first slice - which you selected from the towering variety of many different flavors. He cited that he didn’t know what your favorite flavor was, so he made a good variety as insurance. The taste of lemon was sweet on your tongue and you were enjoying yourself - when one of the lights began flickering.
It was just a few flashes above your head, just for a few moments, but it was enough to send a sharp pain shooting through the middle of your forehead and instantaneously cause a wave of nausea through your stomach. You dropped your fork onto your plate with a clatter, and everyone craned their necks around the towering cake to look at you. Gar immediately got up from his chair to rush to your side, wondering what was wrong.
“Are you okay?” He asked quietly.
Your senses were overwhelmed by dizziness, a horrid feeling that your eyes were churning inside of your skull. Sharp waves of pain radiated out from the middle of your forehead and seemingly caused the world to turn wildly underneath your feet.
You didn’t know that the harsh unwellness was visible all over your face - from your unpleasant expression to the light layer of sweat that had so quickly formed over your skin.
You shook your head, attempting to confirm to him that you were not okay. But this only caused the pain to worsen, and you held back a harsh gag, trying your hardest to keep the amazing dinner inside.
“You need to lay down.” Gar said quietly.
You felt safe under his touch and you let him guide you as he pulled out your chair. He put one hand around your back and used the other to take your hand as he helped you up and guided you away. You let your eyes fall closed against the harsh light as his hand came to rest on your waist, a calming comfort against the harsh pain throbbing through you. You let yourself lean on him for support as he did as promised - took you to lay down.
You were partway up the stairs when a voice disrupted you.
“Garfield.”
Doctor Caulder called after him harshly, causing Gar to pause his movements. You leaned on the bannister and kept your eyes closed. You had to concentrate hard on willing yourself not to vomit while Gar was distracted with the conversation.
“This is an important opportunity to study her condition, you should be taking her to-” Caulder began to argue against Gar’s actions, but he was cut off.
“She needs to lay down.” Gar argued quietly. “She’s had a long day. She needs rest. You can do your studies tomorrow.”
You didn’t know it, but this was the first time that Gar had ever gone against the man on anything. Doctor Caulder stood there in shock at Gar’s sudden shift in attitude while Gar put a hand on your lower back once again and helped you the rest of the way up the stairs.
He helped you into bed and pulled the covers over you. And then he got a hot cloth to put on your forehead, and got a bucket to put beside the bed in case you did throw up. It was then that you knew you would never feel properly cared for again unless it came from him.
When he thought that you weren’t paying attention, half sleepy and half drowned in the pain, he leaned down and laid a gentle, timid kiss on your forehead, right above the cloth.
…
Later that night, after everyone had fallen asleep, Gar snuck out to town and picked up a book on ASL. He was especially careful that his teeth didn’t pierce any of the pages.
He used the rest of the night to study, and he greeted you the next morning with a tray of gentle breakfast food (porridge, hopefully something that wouldn’t aggravate your upset stomach) and Advil. Despite the pain throbbing through your head, you broke into a beaming smile when he signed the words ‘good morning’ to you.
It was then that you realized just how much you were going to have to suppress your feelings for him.
…
Later in the day, Doctor Caulder was carrying out his tests as promised.
He had you in a different part of the basement - in an area that essentially looked like an operating room. Just seeing the tables and all the cold medical equipment triggered a lot of your fight or flight instincts, but you tried your hardest to remain calm. Especially because Gar was by your side, even though he likely could have been playing video games or doing something else a lot more fun. He told you that he would stay by you the entire time to make sure that you were comfortable.
You tried to relax and trust the process.
Doctor Caulder had adjusted the table, propping up the top of it so that it was much more like a chair. And he had wheeled in a large machine that consisted of a series of lightbulbs - something that turned out to be a strobe light, set to make specific patterns. He had taped several electrical probes to your head, ones connected to an EEG machine. Although he knew that this procedure was likely to trigger a seizure, he said that it was important for it to occur because your neurological problems were closely tied to your powers, and the areas of the brain that the serum had affected. He said that it was something important to measure - even if a seizure happened.
“Just face forward, and keep looking into the light.” Doctor Caulder explained. “It will go through a series of flashing patterns. I need you to try your hardest to keep your eyes open, and stay focused. It’s important that we record your brain activity while this is happening without disruption.”
You nodded in affirmation. You weren’t looking forward to the pain that it would cause considering that your head was still thumping with a migraine from the night before, but if he considered it necessary, you would do it.
“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Gar asked. “How do you know this isn’t just gonna cause more harm?”
He was standing beside the table, holding your hand, and you were entirely grateful for his presence there.
He had seen the way you had reacted to a relatively dim chandelier bulb flickering at dinner the night before. He thought that this would be disastrous.
“Garfield, if you continue to question me, then I’ll have to ask you to leave.” Doctor Caulder told him curtly. “You can’t keep disrupting the process like this. We need to move forward.”
Doctor Caulder glared at Gar, giving him a moment to make his choice. To see if he was going to speak up and argue or remain quiet. Gar looked to you, wanting to see if you were truly okay with all of this. Nerves boiled in your stomach, but you feigned a smile, and squeezed his hand tighter, assuring him that you needed him there - right by your side.
Gar then nodded at Doctor Caulder, who stood behind the machine with the lights and turned it on. Gar flinched hard against the lights as they began to flicker. He turned his head away and closed his eyes, but he kept a tight hold on your hand.
Though it went against every screaming, pained nerve in your body, especially the ones pulsing through your head - you fought to keep your eyes open. Your carefully tuned hearing picked up on the scribbling needles of the EEG machine, Gar’s breathing. You could even hear the electricity sizzling in the bulbs as they went through three long flashes and then turned off. Three long flashes, and then off.
You survived the first pattern well before it switched to two quick flashes and then a period of seemingly prolonged darkness - something that wasn’t any more than three whole seconds in reality.
The moment that it switched to the intense, rapid strobing - you felt it. The tingling in your hands, the dizzying haze that said you were only moments away from having a seizure.
You had no time to warn either of them, especially considering that this was the first seizure you had post-serum, and it had unexpected size effects.
As your muscles became tight and your body began to violently seize, the house itself began to quake around you. It was as though the building were at the epicenter of a violent earthquake. Later, Doctor Caulder would come to the conclusion that your seizures now caused ‘rapid bursts of psychic energy’ to be released from you, completely uncontrolled by you. He realized that you would be needed to put on a high dose seizure medication to prevent any further incidents.
In those moments, though, it was chaos.
Between the shaking of the house underneath you and the unpredictable seizing of your muscles, you quickly rolled off the table. Gar easily caught you in a moment’s notice. Across the room, Doctor Caulder made a similar movement - reaching urgently to catch the EEG machine before it fell off of its own table.
When the quaking stopped, and you were left quivering in Gar’s arms, he couldn’t help but to feel a rush of disappointment as he saw the obvious play out before his eyes - Doctor Caulder was far more eager to save his data, to preserve the research that you had given him than to actually take care of you - his patient who was clearly in need.
“What was that?” Gar breathed out, looking from your unconscious face to the surrounding room. He didn’t think that it was a large coincidence that an earthquake had struck at the exact same time as your seizure and had lasted exactly as long.
“I believe that her powers were responsible for that.” Doctor Caulder theorized. “We’ll likely have to do more research to fully comprehend it-”
He abruptly cut off his own words when the scribbling needles of the EEG machine stopped.
Gar began peeling the probes off your forehead and Doctor Caulder only looked up toward you when the EEG flatlined as it was disconnected.
“Garfield, what do you think you’re doing?” Caulder barked at him.
“We’re done right now.” Gar said, his voice choked off by his anger. “Clearly, this isn’t helping. She needs rest.”
Gar resisted the urge to say more. He resisted the urge to berate Doctor Caulder for harming you. He resisted the urge to swear. He resisted the urge to threaten to run away with you - taking away Doctor Caulder’s precious source of research so that the two of you would never be seen again.
He had no clue that his anger was so intense that it flared up in his eyes, threatened to invoke his transformation against his will.
He felt calmer when he looked down at you, and petted a hand across your forehead. Although you were forced into unconsciousness because of the seizure, you looked peaceful and calm with your face so still, your eyes closed and your muscles finally relaxed. He hoped that you would feel better soon.
That was the day Doctor Caulder decided to start keeping a tranq gun near the operating table.
…
Things were quiet for a few days after that.
Doctor Caulder said that he needed time to go over the results of the EEG, and he didn’t want to induce anymore seizures in you for fear that it might bring down the house. So he did let you rest.
But in the interim, he didn’t check up on you or attend to any of your medical needs. He locked himself in his office to contemplate the science of it all while Gar stuck by your side. He held the bucket and rubbed your back while you puked, he held a hot cloth to your forehead when you needed it. He held a spoon up to your lips to feed you because your hands were too weak after being rocked by such a harsh seizure.
After a few days, you were almost thankful to Doctor Caulder for it. You and Gar were growing incredibly close so quickly because he refused to leave your side, and you had never felt so lucky to have someone like him in your life.
You hesitated when Doctor Caulder called you into his office upstairs.
He made a poor apology for the incident with the lights. He said that he was sorry for causing you pain, but it was ‘necessary’ to explore your condition, to map your brain and find out how the serum had affected you.
He said that the next step would be further exploring your strange powers. The powers you had accidentally discovered while transitioning out of the hospital. When one of the nurses had been attending to you, you had looked into her eyes, and you couldn’t even fully identify the feeling at the time. But suddenly, you knew this shocking, painful information. One of the other patients on the ward who you had come to know as a friend wasn’t going to live much longer. And when you had asked the nurse about it, she had accused you of snooping, reading through files - because the information was supposed to be confidential.
But Doctor Caulder - who had witnessed the conversation - easily saw it for what it truly was. An unnatural power given to you by his serum.
He then called Gar into his office as well - someone you obviously trusted and could work well with.
He set it up as a game.
He had written down several things on flashcards. You and Gar would sit across from each other, and Gar would read one of the flashcards, fully capturing the idea in his mind. And then you would use your powers to try and push into his mind - figuring out what was on the card without him ever speaking a single word or giving any hints.
As you sat across from him, preparing to begin, you were incredibly hesitant.
‘Are you sure about this?’
You wrote this as a message to Gar on one of the blank index cards. They were intended for you to write the answers that you retrieved from his mind during the ‘game’. You intentionally held back with the message, not fully describing your worries. You wanted to ask if he was okay with you breaching the privacy of his mind, but you were worried about Doctor Caulder seeing it, because you knew the man didn’t like to be questioned.
You flipped it around to show Gar, and he simply nodded after he read it.
“Yeah, I’m fine.” Gar assured you with a smile. “It’s just a game, right?” He grinned. “It’ll be fun.”
You didn’t quite think so. But you tried to take on his positive attitude.
“Let’s begin.” Caulder said. He was standing behind Gar in a very imposing manner, reading the cards as well to ensure that he didn’t flub the answers just to please the Doctor.
Gar picked up the first card and read it, and he concentrated on it for a moment, making sure that the idea was focused in his mind. He gave a small nod, and then looked up toward you, knowing that he had to make steady eye contact with you in order for you to use your powers.
Pushing past your discomfort, you did as you had been instructed. You stared deep into those big beautiful brown eyes, and you purposefully breached the surface into his mind. The first thing you were met with was a rich visual of several golden retriever puppies frolicking in a field of grass, happily yipping and prancing around, almost tripping over their clumsy new feet.
You soon withdrew - even though it was a happy scene that gave you joy, you knew that you had the answer. You had an unconscious grin on your face, and that easily made Gar giggle as you flipped over the message you had made to him and wrote down your answer on the other side.
‘Puppies’
You lifted up the card and showed it to Doctor Caulder, who took a glance down at the card in Gar’s hand (which said ‘DOG’). He nodded at you, his stern face not flexing for a moment to show any sign of positivity. He picked up a clipboard from a small table on the chair beside Gar and began furiously scribbling.
“Continue.” He said, not looking up from his fast paced notes.
Gar looked down at the next card, took the same moment of concentration, and then looked back at you with a small grin on his face.
This time, rather than feeling like you were committing some kind of crime or doing him a grand disservice, you looked into his eyes and pushed into his mind with a gleeful joy - as though the two of you were sharing a delightful secret.
The next rich visual you saw featured Gar himself. He wore a pair of tight jeans and a leather jacket with some red tee shirt underneath, and he walked up to a red car - a very fancy, vintage looking car. He opened the door, got inside, and adjusted the mirror to look at himself before he stomped on the gas pedal and the car sped away with a screech. It was a very ‘cool guy’ moment, something that made you giggle because of the stereotypical absurdity of it.
When you drifted back into the real world, you went to the next index card, and had more of a difficult time figuring out how to phrase your answer.
You went with:
‘Driving a car?’
When you held it up to show Doctor Caulder, he checked Gar’s card, which simply said ‘CAR’. He frowned, and you thought that you had gotten the answer wrong.
“You have to concentrate more, Garfield.” Caulder scolded him.
Gar’s face dropped into a frown, and it made your chest twinge with sourness. You thought that a face as sweet as his should never have to frown.
“You got it right.” He told you quietly, before flipping to the next one.
You nodded. You hated the way that Caulder treated him. If you could scream at the man, you would.
Gar waffled for a few moments, looking at the card with blank eyes before he then looked up at you. There was a slight glassiness swimming there that told you he was ready to cry, along with the hesitation of a quivering lip. You wanted to end the entire exercise and simply retreat to the basement to play video games with him, but you knew that Caulder likely wouldn’t let you get away with that.
So you continued.
You used your powers once again, purposefully entering Gar’s mind.
You were surprised by the scene you were met with.
It was a vision of you and Gar - it was almost like a beautiful painting, like a fantastic daydream.
You were off in some grassy field, seemingly the same place the puppies had been. Lush greenery, boundless blue skies, warm sunshine that you could almost feel tingling against your skin. The two of you were holding hands - and the most peculiar thing that stuck out to you?
Your attire.
Gar was wearing a formal black suit with a green tie and a green vest to match his naturally wild green hair. You were wearing a long, lacy white dress that you couldn’t mistake for anything other than a wedding dress. There was a bundle of flowers looped around your head in a large crown, with a long, flowy lace veil going down your back, and a bundle of flowers in your free hand that wasn’t holding his.
It was a wedding, a marriage.
At the time, however foolish it was, you didn’t consider the scene to be any specific desire on Gar’s part. You simply thought that he was trying to communicate the idea - the concept to you. You thought that it was just part of the game.
When you pulled yourself back to reality, you felt entirely confident in your answer as you wrote it down.
‘A wedding’
When you flipped it over to show them, you were grinning proudly.
Gar’s face immediately dropped - embarrassment clutched at his stomach and panic overtook him. Caulder sighed with annoyance as he looked at Gar’s card, which said ‘WATER’.
Before any further discussion of it could be had, Gar dropped the cards and they scattered over the floor. He rushed out of the room, moving so swiftly that he was practically a blur. Doctor Caulder called after him, complaints wafting through the air.
You didn’t care to listen to the man. You got up and chased him, almost tripping over your own feet to get to him.
You caught him as he zipped up his jacket, clearly ready to escape out the basement door and go into town (something he told you he was not permitted to do, but often did anyway). You stepped right in front of his path. He sighed hard through his nose and tried to dodge you, and you stepped in front of him and kept blocking him. Eventually, he was forced to look up at you.
It was then - when you saw the look of a truly kicked puppy spread across his features, naked embarrassment lingering in his eyes - that the truth clutched at your stomach. You got the sense that what you had seen was truly private.
Part of you wanted to prod at him about his desires and ask why he had been thinking about that. But a larger part of you worried far more about the fact that you had upset him with the freakish invasion by your powers, and you wanted to remedy it. You wanted to save this amazing new friendship.
With the index cards and pen still in your hand, you quickly wrote a message to him.
‘I’m sorry.’
You wrote down, and then quickly flipped it to show him.
“It’s fine.” He huffed, clearly eager to escape the conversation.
Once again, he tried to dodge around you.
Once again, you blocked his path.
And then, you wrote down something else to show him.
‘It’s not fine. I shouldn’t use my powers on you like it’s a game.’
“The Chief needs to explore your abilities, right?” Gar sighed quietly.
‘Not at your expense.’ You reasoned.
Gar was silent when he came into this information - like this was the first time he had ever truly considered that the Chief’s methods were unethical.
‘We should make a deal. I shouldn’t use my powers on you unless it’s an emergency. Your mind should be your private space. I don’t get to go poking around in there for fun.’
You scribbled this down with haste, feeling very emotional about it. Then you handed it to Gar.
He gave a small smile and nodded after he read it.
“That - uh - that sounds fair.” He said, chuckling nervously. “And we… we don’t have to talk about what you saw.”
You both nodded and dissolved into giggles at this. And then, he took off his jacket, and fired up his X-Box so he could teach you how to play Cuphead to help the two of you forget about the whole thing.
…
Back in your room at Titans Tower, so long after those first amazing days of your friendship with Gar - you fell asleep deep in thought about him. You couldn’t stop going over those early days in your mind. Thinking about all the intense kindness he had given you when the two of you had first met.
Thinking about all of it truly made you realize how badly you had fucked up. You genuinely wondered if your friendship with him would ever have any chance at recovering from the cruelty you had shown him.
You were genuinely stuck between a rock and a hard place. You thought that if you told him about the things that had happened - about the visions you had seen - even if you stressed to him that it had been by accident, then he would feel that you had violated his privacy. He would be wounded by you seeing into his mind and not reporting it to him right away. He would be upset that your powers had put a wedge between the two of you. And now, he was upset because you had stolen his secrets and you weren’t confiding any of yours in him.
You were a bad friend. And you didn’t know how to make it up to him.
You woke up the next day feeling like crap.
You quickly realized that Gar was avoiding you. He did finally come out of his room because Dick banged on his bedroom door, demanding in a harsh voice that if his illness was really that serious, he needed to get it checked out. And Gar came out shoving a hoodie over his head saying that he was fine - while wearing the saddest expression you had seen over his face in a long time.
When you placed a coffee cup down in front of him as a peace offering - dark roast filled one third with vegan marshmallow flavored creamer, just how he liked it - he distinctly ignored it. He didn’t even look at you as he got up from the breakfast bar stool, taking nothing more than a dry piece of toast for breakfast before he stormed off toward the training room.
He placed himself in a secluded corner of the gym with his headphones blasting music, doing harsh pushups and pummeling the punching bag. He was making it very clear that he wanted to be left alone. And even when Dick called all four of you into another room for a verbal quiz on The Art of War (where you wrote down your answers on a white board) - Gar refused to make eye contact with you.
Even when you drew a satirical comic of Dick’s Robin cape being propelled by a fart (that you labeled ‘pent up aggression’) - Gar’s face didn’t flinch from the hard stone it had been set into. It made Jason snort water out of his nose and caused Rachel to call you both ‘immature’. And it got you a verbal lashing from Dick and three weeks of washing the dishes - by hand. So not worth it considering that Gar hadn’t even cracked a smile.
Gar’s cold indifference toward you rolled right into dinner. Gar didn’t flinch or try to take sides when Jason and Rachel broke into an argument about what had happened during game night. Jason brought up how stupid the concept of the game had been and he and Rachel began arguing about the rules.
(“If I’ve never seen the movie before, I should get a new question!”
“That’s not how it works, dickweed! Trivia is supposed to be difficult because you don’t know the answers!”
“So not true. Trivia is a test of memory. How am I even supposed to remember the answer if I don’t know the damn source material?!”)
The argument lasted long enough for you to finish your meal.
When Dick realized they were debating who was the true loser of the bet you had made, he pointed out that regardless of any bets, you had to do the dishes as punishment for the dumb little drawing you had made. You didn’t care all that much as long as it got Jason and Rachel to shut up - but Jason was all too smug about it as he handed you his plate. Once you had finished cleaning up, something you found oddly calming, a nice distraction from the chaos of the last few days - you found yourself wandering to Rachel’s door.
Much like you, she didn’t talk about her powers often.
Especially not since she had been tricked into summoning her demon father to earth and then she had been forced to kill him because of what he did to all her friends - the people she considered family. But you knew that like you, she had some kind of capability to see into other people’s minds - to delve into their memories or walk the long, winding halls of their thoughts. You knew she might be the only other person on earth who might be able to understand what you were going through. Someone who could give you some kind of solid advice about it.
After steeling yourself with a sharp breath, you raised your hand and knocked, waiting to see if she would even answer. The music that she was playing stopped, and after a moment, she opened the door, a look of surprise knitting over her features when her eyes fell upon you.
“Y/N.” She greeted you in a quiet voice. “What is it?”
‘I need to talk to you.’ You signed to her. You had some hope that she would understand what you meant, but her face was immediately overtaken with confusion.
“I’m sorry - I.” She sighed, quickly cutting herself off, looking for the right words to explain it. “Between Dick’s whole list of mandatory reading stuff, and the sparring practice… I’ve been meaning to, but I haven’t had any time to study sign language,”
She had genuine regret in her voice, which you could appreciate.
You exhaled through your nose, a deep sigh.
You gently pushed past her, inviting yourself into her room to settle in for the conversation. It did frustrate you that ASL wasn’t just a common language that was taught in schools, especially because it was psychologically proven that it was easy for toddlers to pick up on it with their brains being at a developmental age for it. It frustrated you that sometimes it was difficult for you to communicate with the people around you. But you tried not to let it get to you often.
You got your cell phone out of your pocket, gesturing with it to let her know you would be texting her the things you needed to say. It was a simple, easy system. You invited yourself to sit on her bed, flopping back among the messy, unmade dark sheets as you carefully chose and typed out the words you needed to say. Rachel settled back into her desk chair, turning on her music once more, adjusting the volume to a low hum that settled into the background. You recognized it as the Arctic Monkeys and silently admired her taste in music.
‘Have you ever accidentally seen something you regret?’
You sent the message. It took only a moment to race through cyberspace and you heard Rachel’s phone ping where it sat on the desk beside her.
She picked up the phone and looked at your message. She then looked back at you with her eyebrows knitted tightly, a mixture of confusion and deep thought pulling them tight together.
“Well there was that one time I accidentally walked into the bathroom when Jason forgot to lock the door-” She began.
You cut her off with a raised hand and a pair of wide eyes glaring her down.
You looked back to your phone and began typing another message, wanting to clarify what you meant.
‘With your powers. Have you ever seen something with your powers that you didn’t want to see?’ You typed it out quickly, hitting send.
Rachel read it over, placing her phone against her chin pensively as she contemplated the answer.
“I… I don’t know.” Her voice was thick with thought. “I used to have these horrible nightmares. Almost every single night. And now I realize that those nightmares are what led me here. And I wouldn’t have been able to stop Trigon if I hadn’t seen those things.”
Your throat tightened up.
You and Rachel had never really talked like this before. You almost felt bad asking her for advice, knowing your problems were very different from hers. Quite pedestrian compared to the woes of somebody who had literally stopped the apocalypse and saved your life, and everyone else’s. You were worried about a school girl crush and she had the weight of the world on her shoulders.
“Why, what did you see?” Her curiosity leaked through her lips. She had quickly connected the dots to realize that you wouldn’t be asking questions like this if you hadn’t seen something of significance.
Naturally, you weren’t going to tell her the details. Not only because the things you had seen were incredibly graphic, revealing, and private, but because you did suspect that she had some kind of small crush on Gar. And you didn’t want to crush her small hope of being with him and make her upset. Especially considering you had seen what she could do when she was upset.
You opened the one-way text conversation and thought for a moment, carefully contemplating what you would tell her.
‘I saw something private. Something I probably wasn’t supposed to see.’ You sent the vague words, and she read them over quickly.
“What, like a sex dream?” She posed.
There was a laugh on the edge of her voice, as though she was only joking. But the accuracy of the comedic prod scared you. You wanted to change the topic quickly - before she truly sniffed out the truth.
‘Doesn’t matter.’ You sent quickly. When she saw the three small bubbles pop up, indicating that you were typing more, she simply waited. ‘Have you ever felt weird acting on information you’ve gotten from your dreams? Doesn’t it feel like cheating the system? Like you should just shut up and pretend to be normal?’
Rachel sighed, a sharp breath that clung to the insides of her throat. She placed her phone down in her lap and leaned back in her desk chair, swaying slightly with the swivel of the rolling chair’s base.
“I don’t think any of us can just pretend to be normal.” She noted quietly.
Rachel’s words were calm and wise. It was something she had probably realized about herself a long time ago. It was a truth you had yet to fall to. You caught glimpses of the future in your dreams, you could see things about people they never dared to admit to themselves. You were in love with a man who could turn himself into a tiger at will, and yet, your heart still cried for something that resembled ‘normal’.
Rachel saw it written all over your face - that warring. And more of that oddly aged wisdom came pouring from her lips before she could stop it.
“What’s that saying?” She pondered aloud. “‘What’s normal for the spider is chaos for the fly.’”
It was a saying you had never heard of before, but it was oddly comforting in those moments. The idea that ‘normal’ means something drastically different for everyone.
When you didn’t say anything, didn’t pick up your phone to start typing, Rachel continued.
“I mean, I don’t know if I’m supposed to be the spider, or the fly, but…”
She trailed off for a moment, getting lost in thought. She looked up at you when she had found the proper words, her eyes filled with a steely determination.
“Look, somehow, I saved Dawn from a coma.” She firmly reminded you. “She didn’t give me an open invitation to go poking around inside her brain, but she needed me. And I needed her. I know having the ability to see inside people’s minds can be weird. But you shouldn’t just go around pretending you can’t do it because you’re afraid you’ll hurt people’s feelings, or whatever. You could save their lives.”
You knew the information you had obtained wasn’t exactly life saving, but she had a point. An excellent one. Maybe the reason your powers were acting up like this was because Gar was reaching out to you. Maybe it was because he had felt the same way about you for a long time now and he didn’t have the guts to tell you either. So unconsciously, he was reaching out, trying to show you his feelings so he wouldn’t have to risk getting hurt.
‘Thank you. That actually really helps.’ You sent the message and gave her a smile, hopping off the bed and leaving the room once again.
…
You had some time to kill before going to talk to Gar.
You really wanted to talk to him this time - truly wanted to conquer everything you had been holding back over these past few days. So you were hoping that everyone else would be in bed asleep so they couldn’t interrupt the two of you.
You took up some of the time with a nice, long shower. Which was partially interrupted by Jason banging on the bathroom door, complaining about how long you were taking - once again. And you took your time getting ready afterwards.
You did your hair neatly and smoothed nice smelling lotion all over your skin. Of course, the thought did occur to you that the ‘conversation’ could lead to you and Gar having sex. That’s what had been so prominently on his mind for the past few weeks. That thought likely did influence your decision to put on a pair of skimpy, cute lace underwear and forego wearing a bra underneath your pajamas. A thin matchy cotton tank top and shorts set.
Your stomach was ripe with bubbles, absolutely full of air and anxiety as you sat on your bed, waiting for more time to pass. There was a book in your hand that you barely knew the name or contents of as you tried to kill more time. Your eyes flicked over to the clock. It was almost one in the morning. Surely you had waited long enough.
You didn’t bother with socks or slippers, your cold feet eager and quiet on the floor as you sneaked your way to Gar’s room. You were surprised to find empty, his wide open door revealing a messy, unmade bed without him in it. You hovered in the doorway for a moment, almost losing your courage and going back to bed.
But then your eyes landed on his nightstand.
There was a wide picture frame holding the picture of him and his parents. And tucked into one of the outer creases of the frame’s wood was something else - two photobooth pictures of the two of you. The pictures were from the first time he had snuck you out of the house to take you to the arcade at the roller rink. You had taken the other two pictures off the set of four, and always kept them in whatever journal you were currently working on.
Seeing the memento kept so close to him, so dear - it filled you with a fresh wave of confidence and desire. You turned around, determined to find him. Luckily, there weren’t that many places to check.
The kitchen and living space were empty. The bathroom was empty and the doors to the security room were shut - meaning Dick was likely in there, researching something, occupied. The only other place to check was the training room.
Gar was in there, putting himself through another rigorous training routine. Clearly he couldn’t sleep with the fight the two of you had still weighing on his mind. And he was quite a sight to behold.
He was shirtless, wearing nothing but a pair of black boxing gloves and black sweatpants that hung dangerously low on his hips. He was pounding away at the heavy punching bag, clearly trying to take out some of the frustrations that you had caused to run ramped inside of him. He was aglow with sweat, the tips of his green hair hanging down in his eyes, sticking to his forehead. His tight abs were slick and shiny in the light in a way that made you want to lick your lips.
His attire easily revealed the delicious cut V of his hips and even a slight bit of pubic hair where he hadn’t properly tied up his sweatpants, and they were beginning to slip slightly due to his activity. You could see a rather impressive bulge, signifying that he was definitely not wearing any underwear. It swung around freely as he worked, punching hard at the weight bag. You had to force yourself not to become distracted by the movement of that mighty snake inside his pants - especially now that you knew what it felt like against you when it was throbbing and hard.
He either hadn’t noticed your presence yet or didn’t care to interrupt his workout to acknowledge you.
“If you came to train, don’t let me bother you.”
Gar huffed quietly when he finally paused his movements for a moment. He sounded so entirely wounded, and the words caused pain to radiate through your chest. He leaned down to pick up his water bottle between the two clunky foam gloves without taking them off. He took a large gulp from it while he not-so-subtly eyed you through his peripheral vision, clearly waiting for your reaction.
“Apparently that’s all I am to you lately.”
He added on after he swallowed the water, deadly quiet. His words were barely louder than the metal creaking as the punching bag continued to swing from the residual momentum. But you heard him absolutely clear.
The sentiment weighed on your heart like a pound of bricks.
You knew there were no words to explain it to him. You knew he would still be angered at you for using your powers on him without permission, even if it was by mistake. You couldn’t explain how it had been a mistake, how it had only been with him. You still didn’t know exactly why or how it had happened.
After he gulped down a healthy dose of water, he tossed the bottle aside and rose to his full height. For the first time all day, he finally cast his attention over toward you. His face was set with one of the most sullen expressions you had ever seen. You hadn’t seen him this upset since he had attacked that man back at the asylum. Every bit a kicked puppy, as you looked at him, you tried to find the right words, but came up empty. You almost turned to walk away, almost burned dry of the courage you needed to face this.
But with Rachel’s words still ringing in your ears, you looked into his glassy eyes, and for the first time in a long time - you pushed into the quiet realm of his mind purposefully. You needed to dig to find something that would help you. Something that could remind you of how perfect you were with Gar.
You were surrounded once again by the thick, plush world of his own imagination.
Even if it wasn’t that different from the world you lived in.
The two of you were in the training room, with him wearing a blindfold as you practiced the unorthodox drill that was assigned to you. You got in a few good hits with the practice sword in your hands, and ultimately tackled him to the ground.
The two of you ended up in a position that wasn’t too different from the reality of the day before. Though it was playful and light, rather than hypersexual and startled.
You pinned him down with your thighs on either side of his waist, your hips sitting dangerously above his. Your body weight was balanced partially on your knees and partially on him. You held your wooden sword to his throat, poised in a threat you would never carry out against him.
He swallowed hard, his throat muscles jerking underneath the wood. You knew it was more because of the rising heat your compromising position was causing him and not because he was actually afraid of you. Or perhaps him being just a tiny bit afraid of you turned him on that little bit more.
You let out a laugh as you tossed the sword away, leaning in to take off his blindfold and give him a kiss on the cheek.
“What was that for?” He asked, regarding the unique new affection you had never really shown him before.
‘Kiss it better.’ You signed, before leaving in and leaving a deeper, more heated kiss fully on his mouth.
You forced yourself out of the thick, hazy daydream then.
This was the answer. No words would be able to fix this - you needed to kiss it better.
‘Kiss it better.’
You repeated this to yourself in the real world, confirming it as the truth.
Gar read the signs you performed and - out of context - it draped him in hopeful confusion.
He continued to stare you down with that delicately confused look enveloping his features as you marched across the room toward him, your steps over the cushioned mats of the floor filled with pure determination.
He wondered if he had read your signing wrong, or if you were really planning to kiss him. Part of him thought you were going to hit him, or finally flip out on him for whatever perceived crime he had committed. And when you did it - he could hardly believe that it was truly, finally happening. That it wasn’t some dream.
You reached up and grabbed him by both sides of his sweat damped head. And after years of waiting - you pulled him into your lips.
Without hesitation, going on the pure fire in your belly, you kissed him.
You channeled every ounce of raw need that had built up since the first time he had sucked you into a daydream where he so ferociously kissed you. His shock was evident at first. His whole body went stiff under your touch, which almost caused you to pull away. But a small moan rang out from the back of his throat - something that made you instantly dizzy with need. It made your lips seek out his with even more force, making your grip on his head clamp down as if to not let him escape.
He began to kiss you back with just as much ferocity as he had in his dreams - echoing out another moan as he truly appreciated the taste of your lips.
You felt him move but you didn’t open your eyes to look. You heard the tearing of velcro as you gnashed your teeth across his top lip and then latched onto the bottom one. Behind your back, he was taking off the boxing gloves, throwing them somewhere on the floor with a careless, quiet thump. Then his arms were around you, snaking around your waist. His flat palms went up the back of your shirt like impossibly hot magnets and pulled your body to his. He closed the small gap you had left for fear of being rejected - he welcomed you into his world with the utmost sincerity.
Your shirt stuck to him because of the sweat he had worked up, and you wanted it off immediately. You wanted all your clothes off. You wanted to feel the naked rawness of the bulge you could feel swelling against your hip. But for now, you were too distracted by the other sensations he drowned you in to even consider pulling away to strip down.
You were too caught up in the wicked work his tongue was doing as it snaked past your lips. You were obsessed with the loving way his hands held you. You lavished in the heat of his body as it radiated out against you like a wildfire. One of his hands was sprawled out in the middle of your back underneath your shirt. The other cupping the back of your head like you were the most beautiful, delicate doll he had ever had the pleasure of holding in his life.
Eventually, both of you were forced to pull away from the kiss - succumbing to that formidable human breath.
“Is this real?”
Gar said quietly, seemingly almost more to himself as he pulled away from your lips.
You opened your eyes, running a hand down to gently cup his cheek. He felt your gaze on him and opened his eyes. For the first time in days, he stared into your eyes so intimately and the dream became real.
“Are you forreal right now?”
These words were a bit louder.
Not loud enough to break the sacred bubble of hot mingled breaths, spit, and sweat you had created. He wouldn’t dare do anything to shatter this if it was just another sleepy fantasy. But even if it was a fantasy, he still wanted to ask for your consent. That much you realized.
Hesitantly, you tore your hands away from his glistening, flushed skin to formulate your reply.
‘I want you.’ You told him simply.
Without another moment of hesitance, he used the strong hold of his arms around your torso to take you to the ground.
You wrapped your legs around him upon instinct. Your arms came up to clasp around the back of his neck as your ankles fumbled somewhere on his back. The action unintentionally drew your hot centers closer together.
Gar bringing you down elicited a surprised squeak from you, which staved off into light laughter as your back met the mats. The laughter was easily echoed by him, deep and hardy. The sound turned into a playful, pleasurable growl into your neck as he ran his teeth along the skin there, nipping, marking his territory. You didn’t think his growling would ever be so sexy to you - but fuck, the noise ran a shock up your spine. It made your pussy clench around nothing and sent a wave of wetness into your underwear.
This was going to be fun.
“You have no fucking idea how long I’ve wanted this.”
Gar grunted into your neck, his voice already deepened by the cloud of his lust. His tongue licked a hot path down your skin into your cleavage. His hands ran down your sides to grip your hips through your shorts, his touch feeling blazen through the material.
“Wanted you.” He groaned, sounding so lust-drunk already. “You’re so fucking perfect.”
You had some idea.
But just hearing him say it, feeling the words vibrate against your skin made you moan for him. It made your fingers dig into the flesh of his shoulder blades. You were desperate for some kind of anchor on the plane of reality to assure yourself that you weren’t lost in the depth of another beautiful dream.
You were vaguely aware of the fact that there was probably a camera somewhere in the room. Maybe multiple cameras seeing what Dick’s personality was like. Hell, Batman was the one who had designed and built the place and Dick was only teaching you guys what he had been taught. He probably used the footage of you guys training to review your weaknesses so he could make you better - build better soldiers.
But all those thoughts melted out of your mind the moment that Gar lifted up your shirt. He continued the wet trail with his tongue down the middle of your stomach, stopping once and a while to make sloppy kisses against your skin. You knew exactly what his intentions were when his hands curled into the waistband of your shorts and underwear all at once.
Your legs fell limp as he started to pull them off.
A fresh wave of heat surged through you, making you absolutely drunk as he tossed your clothes behind him. He poised himself between your bent knees, kissing up your thigh with a tight hold on it, holding himself up with the other hand.
“You smell so fucking good.” He growled out, low, heavy under his breath. You moaned out, only getting drunker with his words. “Fuck, I can’t wait to taste you.”
You didn’t have a moment to sign to him, to give him some kind of encouragement or permission before he was diving in. He got low on his knees, wrapping both his hands possessively around your thighs. He leaned some of his weight on his elbows and from what you could see - canted his hips toward the mats, fruitlessly humping against the softness, seeking some kind of relief.
He used his hands to spread your legs - not that it was much of an effort. Your legs practically fell open at his touch. You whimpered hard in the back of your throat as you felt his breath fanning out over your wet pussy. A heavy moan swelled on your tongue when he licked a broad stripe across you from your hole to your throbbing clit.
“Shit, you taste so fucking good.”
He hoisted your legs over his shoulders so your feet rested comfortably on his back, laying so he was more flat on his stomach, clearly getting comfortable. He laid a few tender kisses on the inside of your thigh. Then he looked up at you with dark, ferocious eyes.
“Just, ah… smack me on the head if you want me to stop, okay?” Gar told you.
Clearly, he was saying this for your safety - putting in a failsafe in case you changed your mind or became overwhelmed. But it came off as a sharp, pleasant warning of what was to come.
Your pussy throbbed and you only ached for him to hurry up, biting your lip as you looked down at him. You nodded briskly, communicating that you understood his words. You had a feeling you most certainly wouldn’t want him to stop.
Gar’s fingers dug into the tenderness of your thighs as he ducked his head down, latching onto your swollen, needy flesh. He soon brought a whole new definition to the words ‘eating pussy’. Like with everything he did in life, he did with the utmost enthusiasm and passion. He lapped at you, put his beautiful pink lips around you and sucked. He kissed your pussy just as passionately and wholly as he had your mouth.
He shoved his tongue between your folds and dragged it in long, languid strokes. Clearly he was eager to lap up every last bit of your essence that he could - eager to devour you. He moaned into your pussy, moaned just as loudly as if he were the one being pleasured. It made the vibrations of his tongue on your clit even more deadly. Your hands were on his hair in a minute, both of them grabbing up as much of the gorgeous green as you could and holding tight. The action pulled a rumble from deep in his chest as he was satisfied by the pleasant pain of you tugging at his roots.
“You’re so fucking good.”
He moaned into you, and you echoed back a high pitched noise that you hardly recognized as your own.
“Everything about you is perfect. Every inch of you is perfect.”
His grip around your thighs became even more possessive, his fingers digging into you hard enough to leave marks. Your lust clouded brain couldn’t clock the pain. You could only enjoy the view of his gorgeous hands gripping your skin. He labored over your clit, determined to make you cum. He flicked his tongue hard and fast over your clit as his hot breath fanned over you in quick, lustful pants. The orgasm washed over you so suddenly, a rubber band snapped from his actions. The tension had been built up over weeks of him living inside your mind, torturing you through lustful dreams.
Your back arched, every muscle in your body pulled tight. Your thighs quivered and spasmed around his head as he continued to grip them hard. Your mouth became a mess of foreign noises that sounded daft and dumb to you but were absolute music to Gar’s ears.
He chased you hard the whole way through it, shoving his tongue deep inside your throbbing cunt so he wouldn’t miss a single drop of your juices as they flowed out of you. You thought perhaps he might come up for air when your orgasm subsided. The aftershocks were still shaking your thighs, one of your hands falling to lull by your side, the other petting fondly through Gar’s now even messier hair. But it seemed you were wrong. He was just getting started.
He growled with a feral hunger, the noise making your hips jolt, unintentionally canting toward his face as a whimper fluttered from your lips. He lapped at you in a drunken, lazy way for a few moments before he went back to eating your pussy with a renewed kind of starvation.
Nipping at your swollen pussy lips in a way that made your entire body jolt, forcing his tongue inside you and fucking you with it while his nose bumped at your thrumming clit. Your second orgasm built up so quickly on top of the first. Your fingers curled in his hair as an unspoken signal to it. The feeling of your nails digging into his scalp only driving him to makeout with your cunt with an even deeper desire.
He soaked up your practically pornographic moans with reverence. The wear and tear on your extremely damaged vocal cords began to hurt your throat, but the noises were absolutely unstoppable as they poured from your lips. His talented tongue was forcefully driving the moans and whimpers from you. He loved the feeling of your fingers ripping at his hair, leaving a pleasant sting across his scalp. He didn’t let up at all as your second orgasm plowed through you.
He wasn’t satisfied even as your voice was echoing the wrecked, harsh moans of a third.
He had you panting, your lungs struggling for air. Your muscles twitching with the excess of adrenaline and electricity. You whimpered pathetically as he tongued over your intensely sensitive clit again. Deciding it was time to give in, you reached over and tapped him gently on the top of the head.
He looked up at you with those beautiful, wide brown eyes. This time not a lick of innocence or confusion anywhere to be seen - his irises completely overtaken with a deep, primal lust.
You crooked your finger at him, motioning for him to come back towards your face. He kissed the inside of your thigh a few more times. He unintentionally smeared your sticky wetness, which had gathered on his lips in a heady, thick coating, across your skin.
“I love your pussy so fucking much.” He murmured into your skin.
Hearing him spout such filthy words without shame sent another wave of heat rolling through your belly. You had no idea how you were still so needy after cumming so many times, but Gar had easily done that to you.
You reached over and gently tugged on his hair again, bringing his attention back to you. You suddenly became very aware of the fact that you knew exactly what you wanted, but you didn’t know how to ask for it. Surely, there had to be a sign in ASL for intercourse - but you just didn’t know what it was. You had never felt the need to look it up before now. You decided to improv, knowing that Gar would get the meaning either way. He always understood when it came to you.
You raised your hands, making a partially closed fist with one hand and sticking your finger into it. You knew that it was probably a rather juvenile motion. To make your point perfectly clear, you mouthed the words ‘fuck me’ in an exaggerated way, hoping it would be easy enough for him to pick up on.
“You want me to fuck you?”
He gently shucked your legs off his shoulders, sitting up on his knees. He wiped your essence off his mouth with the palm of his hand, a delighted, surprised expression falling over his features.
You nodded swiftly, enthusiasm spreading across your face, biting your lip as you could barely contain a giddy smile.
“I mean, I don’t have a condom or anything… should I go find one?”
He moved slightly as if to get up and leave you, but you were quick to trap him, hooking your knees around his thighs and squeezing tight. This touch was a good enough signal to bring his attention back to you.
‘Don’t worry about it.’ You signed to him, firm and final.
He clearly wanted to question you, but there was something heavy dancing in your eyes, and he didn’t want to ruin the moment by pushing it.
(You were infertile. Just another thing your illness had taken from you. If it meant this moment with Gar would be a bit more worry-free, then you’d take it. If it meant he would break up with you down the road because he wanted kids that you couldn’t have… then you’d just enjoy the time with him that you were given.)
“Okay.” He breathed quietly.
Your attention shifted dramatically when his hand moved to adjust his cock in his pants, which was straining harshly through the fabric. It was a long, thick outline like a shadow beaming out from the black fabric, with a damp spot at the tip. Fuck.
Eating you out had turned him on so much that he was leaking precum into his pants, quite a lot of it. You latched onto your bottom lip at the sight of it. You couldn’t help but to outright stare now that you were allowed to look - lavishing your eyes over the thick, magnetic outline of his beautiful cock. His hand gripped it once more, adjusting himself, trying to make his throbbing cock more comfortable where it strained against the fabric. It made the sight even hotter somehow, and your eyes jumped up to his to see the almost shy look on his face. Even after what he’d done, he was shy about you staring at his bulge.
‘Show me.’
You egged him on, trying to be encouraging. You wanted to play up the obvious desire that you knew was prominent on your face by pouting your lips and batting your eyelashes for him. He raised his hand to the edge of his pants, but his muscles strained, hesitant still.
As a show of good faith, you sat up slightly, peeling off your tank top, which was now stuck to you with sweat. Your skin appreciated the cool air of the room, and your ego preened at the way Gar’s eyes devoured the newly revealed skin.
He let out a harsh breath before he stood up on the spot and took his pants down, letting them fall to his ankles and kicking them away.
“I thought you might laugh at me.” He said quietly, insecurity racking his voice. “Because… ya know… the carpet matches the drapes.”
Laughing was the last thing you were thinking about doing.
As you laid there, propped up by your elbows, staring at him, your mind could only focus on how entirely fantastic he looked. His body was so perfect, his muscles built, building up more each day with the training. His whole body covered in perfect, smooth skin, surrounding a gorgeous, filthy prize that you had only dreamed about being this amazing in real life.
His cock sprang out from a nest of green pubic hair - which yes, ‘the carpet does match the drapes’. But you found that to be nothing to laugh at. There was absolutely nothing laughable about the gorgeous, nine inch monster that stood proudly in front of you - smooth skin covering hardened, gorgeous flesh just like the rest of him. With a drooling, bright pink tip just ready for your lips to be wrapped around it.
‘Why would I ever laugh at such a beautiful prize?’ You told him, assuring him that you held nothing but admiration and lust for his body.
A light dusting of pink came over his cheeks, absolute flattery from your words. He dropped down to his knees once again. His cock bobbed so deliciously as he moved, and you knew that would be so whipped by the ability to have it. When Gar realized the power he could hold over you with sex - you would be done for.
“Jason thought it was pretty funny.” He shrugged, his voice gruff with the memory of it.
‘Jason is a clown.’ You assured him.
The conversation was cast aside when he gripped your ankles, playfully tugging you across the mats toward him - something that caused more giggles to erupt from your throat.
Then, he was hovering over you on his hands and knees once again. With one hand beside your head, the other came over to grasp your chin with two fingers. It was so light and careful compared to his previous touches. He peered down into your eyes, making your stomach seize up with the sheer amount of love and affection he stared you down with.
If you didn’t feel the same way for him, you might have backed down from the towering might of his feelings. You might have been tempted to run from something so divinely grand and beautiful. But no - you wanted to be his. You wanted to make him yours.
‘Take me.’ You mouthed.
Your hands were numb and useless at your sides. Your body was stilled by the cosmic depths of his affection, hoping your silent lips alone would be enough.
Gar leaned down and swept your mouth into a kiss. His thumb on your chin rubbed sweet circles on your skin as his lips smoothed into yours. Your tongue reached out to eagerly dive into the cavern of his mouth. Soon his touch was gone from your face as your hands woke up to find him, to reach out for the perfection of his body.
You eagerly sought out to touch his arms, his back, his ass, anything you could reach. He used his hand to hoist your knee gently over his thigh, opening you up to him. Then he poised his cock perfectly at your hot, leaking entrance.
“You sure about this?” He breathed across your cheek, pulling away from the kiss to ensure your consent one last time.
You nodded with the most frantic posture you could muster, impatient breaths spilling from your nostrils and pouring across his clammy skin.
Satisfied with this, he rolled his hips forward. Finally, after weeks - no, years - of waiting in quiet agitation for him, you became complete.
Even with his massive size, his cock slid easily inside you.
Your pussy was readied by the many orgasms he gave you, your muscles relaxed and naturally slicked up for him. He fit perfectly like he belonged there, your hot inner walls pulling him in. Your hot cunt clung to his cock in a way that made him groan deeply into your neck. The feeling made his buttocks tense as he pulled together his last ounces of self control to not lose it - to not pound into you like a careless sex doll. You were perfect, and you deserved to be treated perfectly.
“Fuck, you feel so good around my cock.”
He groaned, leaning down on his elbows. He trapped you completely in his warmth, pressing his body firmly into yours from chest to chest to where he was smothered deep inside you.
“You’re so fucking perfect. Fuck, Y/N.”
You dug your nails into the muscles of his back - hearing your name on his lips with such a gravelly desire making your pussy squeeze around him. After a few restrained moments, he finally pulled his hips back and began to move. It started off as a slow, deliberate grind, a slow drag of his hips into yours, but it quickly became unhinged. Not that you minded one bit. You wanted to tempt that animal inside him - you wanted to see his rougher side.
The sloppy sound of skin slapping against skin echoed through the room as he hammered his hips into yours. The sounds almost completely drowning out the quiet wave of your pathetic whimpers and his possessive growls. He tried to trap the sounds in the skin of your neck, while gnawing mindlessly at your skin, sure to leave some kind of mark on you.
He was impossibly heavy and hot inside you, hitting all the best spots. His cock drove more electricity into your nerve endings and absolutely milked you for everything you could give. His knees pinned open your thighs where they jolted and jumped, your body so overstimulated from your previous orgasms that they wanted to clamp shut on his hips to keep him from moving. Your unconscious wanted to pin him down and hold him there - wanted to hold him inside you so that you could feel so impossibly full forever.
And then, just as you felt another orgasm coming to form like a screeching fire in your belly, he dared to raise his head from your neck, dared to look into your eyes.
Before you knew it, you were tumbling once again through the thick curtain of reality and into his mind. You were pulled against your will into another one of his fantasies.
In the fantasy, you were on your back, still, completely naked. You were slicked with a sheen of sweat with his thick, pulsing cock deep inside you. But this was slightly different. The material under your back was most certainly a mattress - plush, more giving than the stiffness of the padded floor of the training room. It had an almost too soft layer of silk sheets covering it that your skin stuck to unpleasantly with the sweat.
Your hands were poised on Gar’s chest, your nails digging into the skin there, leaving light marks. One of the things that stood out most to you about this picture was not the fact that Gar was having a fantasy about fucking you, but the ring on your finger. Seeing as this was his mind, he was the one who had put it there. Quite clearly a wedding ring or an engagement ring. It was beautifully ornate, poised on the correct finger for marriage. It held a bright green stone in the middle - green like a certain someone special to you.
“Fuck, I love you so much.”
Dream Gar moaned as he pounded into you, his hips taking on a sloppy rhythm as his orgasm drew near.
“My beautiful wife. Mine. Finally fucking mine. You’ve always been mine, haven’t you?”
‘I’m yours.’
You found yourself mouthing the words without even realizing it, whipped out of the fantasy world so harshly once again. A very small part of your mind wondered if it had been a small slice of the future that you had seen or if it was simply a conjuring from Gar’s imagination.
You didn’t have the time to think or care, because your body went into overdrive. The Real Gar’s forehead was now resting on your tits. His hands created a tight grip on your hips as he pounded into you harder, harsher, deep grunts spewing from his lips each time his cock settled back inside you.
“Please cum for me, Y/N.” His words came out as a whining beg, something so wonderfully small from the man splitting you open on his cock.
He kissed between your breasts, his thumb coming to rub harsh circles on your clit, sending jolts right through you.
“Cum on my cock. Please.”
With the vision still hot on your mind and his words searing through you, the orgasm tore you up like a rabid animal. It was like nothing else you had ever felt in your life - like your entire body was on fire, being entirely consumed by Gar, by his touch, by his love for you. Finally being owned by him, finally having the one thing you wanted, needed most. Finally having him, full and whole.
You screamed so loudly it hurt your throat, something you knew you’d be feeling for days afterward. Your whole body shook around him while your eyes screwed shut, your head tilting backwards as the pleasure was exorcized from you.
You felt a hot dampness under your fingertips that you recognized as blood. In the back of your mind, you realized that you had gripped him hard enough for your nails to cut him - but he didn’t seem to care. In fact, it only spurred him on more, if the deep, ferocious grunts pouring from his lips were any indication. He was absolutely wild as he chased his own orgasm, breath fanning out in hot grunts against your breasts as he bucked wildly into your spent, tired hips, making your muscles twitch with bitter overstimulation.
“Fuck! Y/N!” He cried out as he came, finally spilling his thick, hot cum inside you.
You let out a small moan at the feeling. It became even hotter when you felt his cum pooling around the base of his cock, where you were connected, and leaking down between your cheeks. He lingered inside you for a few moments, petting his hands up and down your sides while your hands laid numbly on his back. He pecked small, delicate kisses across your clavicle that were almost an irony to the whole interaction. It made you smile.
You were quickly falling tired from the massive aerobic exercise and post-orgasm haze, disappointed by the fact that you had to get up and make your way back to bed. You hoped Gar would let you sleep in his. It came as a bitter shock when he pulled out of you, leaving you empty and cold as he moved away from you so suddenly. When you blinked, he was standing, bending over with his back to you as he picked up his pants and righted the legs so he could put them back on.
What he did next came as even worse of a shock to you.
“I - uh… I understand if you don’t want this to affect our friendship.” He said, just loud enough for you to hear him. His tone was flat, completely void of emotion.
“I totally get being horny and just… needing someone. We’ve been locked up here for weeks, and like. Like you said, Jason’s a clown.” He let out a laugh, but it was hollow and tired. He clearly didn’t even think his own words were funny.
The words were so strange in those moments they took far too long to process through your sex-hazy brain.
Was he really insinuating that you might go to Jason for sex? Was he trying to… let you down easy? Was he saying that he only wanted to be friends? Friends with benefits?
Was he seriously saying that he didn’t love you?
Your head was spinning with questions as you propped yourself up on your elbows, your whole body stiff as those beautiful, orgasmic chemicals faded away. It left you tired, shocked, and… feeling used. Your eyes scanned over Gar’s back as he tied up the drawstring of his pants. You focused on the dark red, deep, partially bleeding marks you had left. You had marked him, whether he liked it or not. You had some claim to him. You should.
“I’m gonna stay for a while and finish my workout.” He told you quietly. “Do you need help getting back to bed?”
When he came over and offered you a hand, you brushed it away. For the first time ever, you felt cold and unaccepting of his touch. You felt angry with him. How dare he invite you into his mind, show you how much he cared about you - how dare he fuck you with so much love and passion and then try to brush it all off as if it were nothing?
‘I’m fine.’ You told him, hoping your coldness could come across in tired, limp handed signing.
You forced yourself up on quivering knees and then onto your feet. You gathered your clothes where they had been carelessly tossed and shoved them back onto your used, dirty body. You would have preferred a shower first, but you preferred the precaution of drapery in case you did run into anyone on your way to the bathroom.
“Oh. Okay. Cool.”
These were Gar’s last words to you before you stormed out of the training room, going to the bathroom to ruminate on the whole experience by boiling yourself in hot, steaming water.
…
You thought about it for a long time while you were in the shower.
Just stood there, under the hot spray and let your mind concentrate on the things Gar had said. He had fucked the living daylights out of you, ate your pussy like it was his fucking job. He was apparently having daydreams about doing so while calling you his fucking wife, and then once it was all said and done - he backed down from it. He told you that he ‘understood’ if you only wanted to be friends.
He was afraid.
It was like everything else in his life. He could transform into a fucking tiger, but he was afraid to bite people. He didn’t want to use the fantastic power that had been given to him. For years, he hid away with Doctor Caulder, a man who emotionally abused him and manipulated him. He had been too afraid to stand up for himself, too afraid to leave the house and chase the things he really wanted.
And with you. He was clearly terrified you were going to reject him. He wanted a life with you, he wanted to worship you. He wanted you and your heart, he wanted your everything. But he was too afraid to voice it. He was too afraid he’d look like an idiot if you didn’t feel the same way.
That’s probably why he had unconsciously reached out to you, unconsciously broadcasted his fantasies to you whenever you were near. And you’d thought it was your stupid powers acting up.
Just like with kissing him to initiate that amazing sex - you were going to have to shake off your fear of rejection so that the two of you could be together already.
…
You woke up the next morning with a pounding migraine.
Even with the preventative medications Doctor Caulder had prescribed to you to help with your seizures and migraines, the tumor that still lived inside your brain did get to torture you occasionally. When you lifted your head from your pillow and saw the gray, gloomy sky looming over San Francisco, the raindrops racing down your window, it didn’t take you long to figure out the cause of your pain. You groaned, falling face first back into your pillow, not wanting to get up.
The ever present pain from coming from your head was topped off by soreness that had spread through your whole body - undeniable evidence that what happened between you and Gar last night wasn’t just another dream. Dreams don’t have consequences. Especially considering that your pussy was aching hard, still sore from having his impressive length splitting you open. On top of it all, your throat was stinging with an almost flu-like ache from having screamed so much through your surgery damaged vocal chords.
You really hoped Dick would let you have one day off from training. You probably could have gotten through it with just your body being sore. But the migraine was already ravaging you, already turning your stomach sour with systematic nausea.
You heard a knock on your door and sighed quietly.
You had just barely hoisted yourself into a sitting position by the time the person entered. Squinting through your tired eyes, you were able to makeout a flash of green and immediately knew that it was Gar.
“Hey, you don’t look so good. You feelin’ alright?” He knew the look that always settled upon your face when you were overtaken with such intense pain. He hardly needed to ask. “Where’s the bottle?”
You motioned toward the drawer that held the item he spoke of - your hot water bottle, which you used to help ease the bitter pain of a migraine. He opened and closed a few drawers before he found it. Your eyes gently closed against the harsh light pouring in from the hallway, too sensitive to the light to actually look at him.
“It’s okay, lay down.” He told you, his voice a comforting lull past the aching thrum in your forehead. He patted your thigh gently through your blanket, and you eased back onto the bed, throwing a forearm over your eyes to block the light. “I got it.”
He went to the kitchen and filled the rubber bladder with boiling water, returning quickly with it and a glass of water. You took the now very hot water bottle. You gave him a small moan of gratitude as you placed it down on your pillow and pressed your forehead into it.
In a practiced routine that only spoke to how much he loved you, he closed the bedroom door, blocking out the harsh light of the hallway. And then he walked around the bed to close the curtains, blocking out any potential light from the outside. He placed the glass of water down on your nightstand with a harsh clink that only radiated through your skull so painfully because of the migraine. Then you heard him open the nightstand drawer, digging around for your medication.
You trusted that he knew which ones you needed right now. You trusted that he didn’t need your advice on how to take care of you. It was something he knew well after so long.
You felt his fingers brushing your open palm, then felt the round tablets of your medication left there as he pulled away.
“Sit up and take these.” He said quietly, voice barely above a whisper, as if he was afraid to hurt you with a single decibel.
He used a gentle grip on your forearm to hoist you into a sitting position, and you swallowed the medication dutifully with the water he’d brought.
“I’ll tell Dick you need to sit out of training today.” He explained quietly. “You need anything else?”
‘One thing.’ You signed to him, your hands weak and tired.
Though your pain was disruptive, and you were glad Gar was not acting any different after what had happened last night, you couldn’t wait any longer before doing this.
Before he could question what that thing was, you leaned in. Your lips easily found his in the darkness and you planted a smooth, gentle kiss on his mouth.
‘Don’t wanna just be friends.’ You signed, opening your tired, painful eyes to see his reaction to your words. ‘I love you. I have loved you for a long time now.’
A broad smile came across his face, his expression of pure joy practically glowing in the darkness.
“Yeah. Awesome. That sounds amazing. I love you too.” His voice was slightly louder now, his joy overriding his caution for your hypersensitive, pained ears.
He felt absolutely giddy - this was what he had been waiting for, dreaming of for so long. He wanted to climb in bed with you and lay by your side for the rest of the day. But he knew that he needed to attend to other things, and more importantly - you needed your rest.
“Get some rest now, okay?”
He tucked you into bed, made sure the covers were up over your body, full and warm with the hot water bottle under your head before he left the room once again.
It wasn’t long before you heard voices coming from down the hall.
“Where’s Y/N? We’re doing balance drills in ten minutes.” Dick’s gruff voice echoed down the hall, very obviously directed at Gar, who he’d sent to wake you up.
“She needs the day off. She’s got a wicked migraine and she needs rest when it gets like this,” Gar told him simply, hoping Dick would respect him at his word.
“We don’t get days off, Gar.” Dick pressed. “All of us have to train through pain, or injury. Do you really think some psychotic asshole is gonna care if you have a little headache while they’re trying to kill you? Do you think they’re just gonna come back another day? Do you think they’re gonna stop shooting at you if you have to stop and bandage your boo boo?”
His words cut through you, causing a sallow pain to rise up in your chest. It was something you’d been hearing since your childhood - since your treatments and hospital stays had caused you to miss too many days off and your teachers quickly stopped taking pity on you. You had always been told to just work through your pain, that the world won’t stop for you. You considered getting up and just going to training. You wanted to tough it out just to show Dick that you could, that you could puke into a garbage can and keep going, that you could boot and rally.
You heard footsteps coming down the hall, and in your pain heightened sensitivity, you heard the metal of the doorknob shift as someone put their hand around it. The sound of Dick coming to get you out of bed anyway.
He didn’t get the chance, though.
“Leave it, Grayson.” Gar’s voice growled - a harsh, sharp sound that you had rarely ever heard from him before. “You don’t understand what she’s going through, and I won’t have you pushing her until she pukes on the floor just to satisfy your ego. She already trains harder than you ask and you know she could probably kick your ass,”
You heard a harsh sigh, a deep breath through nostrils - Dick’s surrender. His footsteps disappeared down the hall, and Gar’s followed shortly after.
Your heart bloomed with affection, awed by the blanket of protection he had put around you.
You really were his. You always have been.
...
When Gar was getting dressed after his shower later that day - he came across a small box in his underwear drawer. It was the ring that Rita had given him before he left Caulder House, a very expensive looking vintage piece from her days on set. Gar tried to insist that he couldn’t take something so nice, so sentimental from her. But she had closed it tight into his palm with the promise that it would be yours someday - that he would use the polished emerald ring to propose to you.
Of course, she saw that big, beautiful, dangerous thing brewing between the two of you from a mile away. Gar considered marching down the hall and giving it to you right then there. But he tucked the box back into his drawer. In honor of Rita’s vision - he would make it old Hollywood, romantic.
He had plenty of time.
THE END.
#sundrop writes#dc titans#titans fanfiction#titans x reader#dc titans fanfiction#gar logan#gar logan x reader#garfield logan x reader#garfield logan
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Currently in the process of conjuring another self indulgent terzomega drawing. I'm mentally ill so I drawn to the sound of my own thoughts (just kidding, supposed to be cringe)
But fr I am silently drawing and thinking about some shit. I am a big sucker for resurrected Terzo shenanigans. Partly because I'm delusional and am crossing my fingers all the theories about him coming back are true. Anyways MY POINT IS
how would omega react to this?
Imagine going years without your partner because they're deceased. And then one day they're just back. Don't you think it would be just as mentally scarring for Omega as it was when Terzo died (or at least similar in severity)???
So I guess this is a bit of a headcanon ramble. Here's some bullet points on how I imagine it
Ghouls are only sent back to the pit if they're going against the clergy. So most of the ghouls that had been summoned are still there
Terzo died in 2018, resurrected 2024 (only reason is bc that's the year sister imperator goes bye bye)
Omega didn't see ANYONE ELSE for the 6 years in between
After Sister died, Copia gets access to some spell book idfk that the higher clergy members have that they use to summon ghouls. Since he is now frater imperator, he now owns the book
Copia resurrects all of the brothers
Copia hides this for a couple days until secondo says "I don't give a shit" and started waltzing around like he owns the place
The ghouls find out, for some reason I imagine Alpha specifically telling Omega that Terzo is alive
Omega goes kind of insane. He avoids the brothers, thinking he's hallucinating or dreaming or something
When he finally realizes that it's real maybe a couple days after he has a mental breakdown
Terzo kind of forces the walls down and holds omega while omega pretty much wails for like an hour
After omega calms he refuses to leave terzos side. HELLLLLA protective
Also I have this random story playing in my head of Omega batheing (bathing? Idk how to spell) Terzo for weeks after because he's scared that terzo will hurt himself or ruin the stitches in his neck.
Omega is basically extremely paranoid the rest of his life but it calms down after a while
I definitely think Omega would be so shaken by it. I'm thinking about writing a fic about the bathing idea but it would be so angsty and minor nsfw because nudity but should I?????? Idk
Anyways thanks for coming to my Ted talk I need to draw this mfs kissing now
#my brain be rotted#crying#heart actually hurts for them#terzomega#terzo#omega#omega ghoul#the band ghost#ghost#ghost bc#papa emeritus iii#papa emeritus iv#copia#cardinal copia#omega3#ghost headcanons#ghost band
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🪳 for sv perhaps? 👀 and any other AUs u really like!
bug me for fic recs
Thanks for the ask <3. I’ll be honest, it is hard for me to know what counts as an au for SV given the nature of canon and Shen Yuan’s unreliable narration is such that practically anything can plausibly be canon 😂, but I did my best and I hope you enjoy these
🪳 Recommend a great AU!
Celestial Afterglow by elanor_pam/ @elanorpam
Shang Qinghua, also known as Airplane Shooting Towards the Sky, stared flatly at what had once been a field boasting near sect-level Feng Shui alignment, and the drowned, bloated remains of the Sun and Moon Dew Flower cuttings that had sprouted within it. Their plan was now quite literally a wash.
If only he could consult Cucumber Bro on how to save Cucumber Bro! But in the absence of Cucumber Bro, he could but rely on the one plot coupon the infamous Peerless Cucumber had ever applauded.
Canon-divergence au. Um…I’ll be honest idk how to describe this fic, it’s wildly ridiculous but in a way that’s incredibly fitting for the entire vibe of SV and it made me laugh so hard I literally cried
walk through walls into your heart by kitschlet
Fifteen years ago, definitely cishet man Shen Yuan transmigrated into Shen Qingqiu, the female villain of reverse harem novel Proud Immortal Demon Way, and never looked back. Now happily lesbian-married, Shen Qingqiu gets caught in a PIDW plot that makes her actually confront what she wants from her gender and her relationship.
Bingqiu genderbend au. Wherein a wifeplot forces Shen Yuan to contend with the trans implications of the fact that she loves being a woman and it’s a very fun time
demons don't write what they know by ataratah/ @ataratah
As a demoness, Liu Mingyan doesn’t have a lot of first-hand experience with romance. This wouldn’t be a problem if she weren’t in the process of composing a romantic epic for the ages. Luckily, local human gremlin Sha Hualing is here to help.
Purely for the sake of good writing, of course.
Human-demon role-reversal au. Lovely fic about Liu Mingyan’s journey to becoming a published writer (which of course features practice kissing with Sha Hualing, very necessary)
cover me with your green mantle by lavenderandrue/ @lavender-and-rue
There’s a legend about this place. Shen Yuan has heard it a hundred times, a thousand, in different permutations depending on the teller. In some versions, a demon lord with horns and fangs and glowing red eyes roams the wilds, stealing pretty young women from their beds for some nefarious purpose. In others, a powerful fae prince leads the Wild Hunt on moonless nights; those who hear the baying of their hounds may be tempted to join them, never to be seen again. Still others tell of a local man stolen by the fae many years ago for his famed beauty, who is still occasionally spotted leading lost souls out of the forest.
Whoever he is, Shen Yuan thinks he must be lonely.
Ballad of Tam Lin au. This fic is a great example of that lovely flavor of BinggeYuan where Shen Yuan is just so bamboozled by Bing-ge that he ignores all the concerning shit about him and sets about domesticating him and it works and is massively entertaining to read
In Blissful Rush Did Meet by Asymptotical
In a slightly different situation, Tianlang-jun would have been thrilled to play the part of the pregnant lover doted on by the stoic noble that knocked them up.
It's less fun while he thinks the doting might not happen.
TianXi fix-it via mpreg au. Wherein Tianlang-jun being the one to get pregnant instead of Su Xiyan prevents them from falling into the Old Palace Master’s trap
Primal Urges by stranglerfig
A mortal illness infects Cang Qiong Mountain Sect. Pandemonium ensues.
-
“We are cultivators,” Mu Qingfang pronounced gravely, “we are not ruled by our primal urges.”
“But shizun,” said one of his beta disciples, his voice nasally with wax plugs up his nose, cotton mask over his mouth. “Liu shibo has stolen the whole peak’s clean linens!”
Omegaverse au. Prob one of the few gen omegaverse au’s in existence 😂 but it’s so funny and so good
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an idea i had was nhl!ranger reader is like fairly aggressive, yeah?
like she’s had to hold her own, and prove her own bc she’s a woman.
but against this one team, she’s absolutely brutal.
and maybe it stems from her old rivalry with one of the players, OOOH OR MAYBE one of the players almost ended her career in juniors??
i made a new player up for the sake of this being friendly for people who cherish the usa wjc players however they play for the hawks just cause.. she’d so have a vendetta against the hawks idk i feel like she’d despise them
like she’s just here to serve cunt, fuck shit up and curse a bitch out
also, i picture charlie with a scar in the front of her eyebrow, like where the hair still grows straight rather than to the side, due to where her injury was
this…. turned into a full fic. blame my perfectionism and incessant research, idk. there’s also minimal jack which is why the title is njd
the full story | hooked au, njd
u-20 world juniors, december 26, 2019. preliminary rounds
line brawls were your forte. not only were they fun, and usually harmless, but they also gave you a chance to prove that your physicality wouldn’t be an issue if you got drafted to an nhl team.
in a canada vs usa game, the rivalry usually called for some penalty minutes
currently, your helmet was nowhere to be found, your gloves were voluntarily discarded, and your nose was bloody.
you’d concentrated on keeping the us players away from nico, and the guy who’d originally slid into the net and tripped him had taken most of your attention.
tyler shaw- a bigger centre who’d been drafted to chigaco the year prior.
you were holding up fairly well, until he took a stray stick off the top of the net and used it to shove your hand off his jersey.
you slid, turning so your back was facing him, and he cross checked you in the back of the neck, sending you forward and face first into the goal post.
a final time, he did the same near your shoulder blades, effectively keeping you down on the ice.
the room was spinning and the lights were too bright for your liking- you felt like you were ready to faint and throw up at the same time
dawson was quick to switch his fighting to shaw, quickly looking over at you to see if you were still conscious.
jamie drysdale had left what was essentially an aggressive, ill intended hug with the guy he’d picked up for the scrum to pull you over to the boards, giving an alarmed look to the coaching staff.
you weren’t responding to your name, or charlie. you were squeezing his hand but it was your only true sign of consciousness
most of the players had pulled away from their respective fights, staring over at you and jamie with looks of concern, some looking at shaw with looks of confusion- including his teammates.
when dawson was satisfied with his defence of his friend, he skated over, flexing his fingers in pain from punches.
he made it over a few moments before the teams medical staff, taking your hand and having jamie back away a little.
“you in there, char?” he took your neck guard off, knowing you’d always felt like it suffocated you.
you blinked, looking at him. he smiled, squeezing your hand.
“nico fell,” you murmured, worry laced in your voice for your goalie
“he’s padded like a marshmallow, rocky. i think you fell a little harder,” you smirked at his nickname for you, a mock of your likeness for fights.
that was all the reaction you had to anything for the rest of the night- a small grin.
when staff made it to you, you’d gone nonverbal again and you seemed to be slipping in and out of yourself. sometimes it looked as if you’d been out, couldn’t feel a thing, and other you were squeezing dawsons hand so hard you were cutting off circulation
the medical team had dawson and jamie help you off the ice, dawson staying with you in the ambulance since he’d been ejected from the game due to his defence of you.
when you were finally allowed visitors, the doctors let you explain to dawson- who you made promise to dumb it down and kid friendlify it for your little brother.
your neck was broken from the initial check. the doctors weren’t sure if you had paralysis until you became verbal again and calmed down enough for them to run necessary tests.
they concluded that other than some tingling in your arms and feet- you should be able to walk and eventually skate just fine.
you required surgery to fix the broken bones it your neck, but luckily the break did no damage to your spinal cord, so you’d be able to make a recovery.
they told you that other than your lack of ability to concentrate, which you assured them came long before the injury, you had no physical or memory related issues cause of your concussion
due to you presumably losing consciousness and going nonverbal after the blow, as well as your headaches and two consecutive seizures in the ambulance, they did imaging tests to see if you had any skull injuries or bleeding
you got lucky.
there were many opportunities for the injury to be career ending, even fatal- but the hospital assured you that you’d be able to return to mundane life in a week or two, after the concussion symptoms, and that you could return to sports once your neck was healed and you were cleared by your women’s league.
dawson was your caretaker, never leaving your side cause he was so anxious that the doctors had missed something- he needed to be ready to help if you needed him.
you tried to keep it lighthearted, despite your boredom and your throbbing pains
“my face feels eight feet wide,” you complained, eyes fluttering shut.
dawson stayed quiet, looking over at you for a moment and then returning to making you your lunch
“at least the several pints of blood coming out of my head made me look sick,” you chimed, smiling to yourself and pouting when dawson paid no mind
“mercer. you’re killing me, dude,” he sighed, coming over and sitting on the couch next to you.
“i was worried about you, y/n. i didn’t leave the waiting room other than to pee, i had nurses bringing me food cause they saw i wasn’t leaving. on the ice, i tried to make jokes but i was losing it,”
you leaned your head on his shoulder to the best of your ability with your neck brace, taking his hand.
“you’re still stuck with me. i’m too stubborn to die,” he finally cracked a smile, leaning his head onto your head.
“im holding you to that,”
-
january 5th, 2024. chi @ njd
you’d been dead silent ever since you’d gotten back to the dressing room since warmups.
tyler shaw had been marinating in the press box all season, and the team had chosen today to finally give him a spot on the fourth line.
when you saw his last name on a jersey you already weren’t fond of gliding around on the ice, your head immediately went back to the game that could’ve ended your life,
he’d been suspended from competing in iihf games since the incident, and his career had gone down hill from there, but the fact that he was still allowed on professional ice irked you to no ends.
dawson knew well enough why you looked like you were about to throw up, but your boyfriend and your captain were confused and concerned.
nico nodded for dawson to leave him to talk to you and sat in the now empty cubby, nudging your knee pads with his own.
“you alright, charlie?” you smiled softly at the ground, your soft spot for nico already grounding you.
“i’m okay, neeks,” you rested your head on his shoulder, the padding making for a comfortable spot.
“back in november you got enough penatly minutes against these guys to beat jack for the next two seasons, so how about we cool it today, yeah?” you giggled, wrapping both of your arms around nicos one that he used to pat your knee
“no promises. haven’t seen shaw since my last juniors game,” nicos lips parted, not having seen shaw on the ice during warmups and not clocking that your vendetta against the hawks was partly due to him.
“never mind. do crime, have fun, all of the stuff a captain absolutely wants to see,” he kissed your forehead and you laughed, looking up at him with a bright smile
“thank you, ni. your silly accent and questionable rule bending made me less prone to crimes,” he grinned.
“if you need a minute tonight, you’ll tell me?” you nodded and he hummed, staying in dawsons cubby while lindy spoke and up until it was time to get back onto the ice.
#hooked au!#e’s 500 celly!#e’s fics#jack hughes#dawson mercer#nico hischier#hockey imagine#nhl imagine#new jersey devils
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heavy spoilers for chapter 23 of Always by your side by @ingo-ingoing-ingone!! this chapter was so fantastic i. didnt have words for it. ended up doing 6 (nearly 7) drawings for it instead. i think this is my record- it took me roughly 7 hours. a fair warning! this is both art and a comment to the fic in one. so its rather long!
ok i had an Unreasonable amount of fun doing the background on this one. ended up looking up a lot of the celestial bodies mentioned in the fic, man are they cool! it was implied that Emmet didn't really have a body so! stars instead. the colors were fun- i dont often let myself just. color like this haha! this one was... reall amazing. a fantastic opener! i immediately latched onto the visuals and painted a picture in my mind. it was just so... astronomical?
i actually struggled with how i was going to position these two for a while. at first it was just them coloring in a clearing- then i made them watching pokemon, and then. this! idk- there just something sweet in how Ingo turns around to look at Emmet and... lighting was funky for this one- how a forest shades the things beneath it will always hold a special place in my heart. these two interacting is always so wonderful to read. the gentle ribbing and teasing and... just them chilling and talking was so nice. the fact that it was dragons was even better! dragons are the best. i felt a very sweet and gentle moment needed an equally sweet and gentle drawing. if i could, i might have gone for line less on Ingo and Emmet here as well.
right- this was the last one i did. i think its the only one that i didn't get specifically from what was written. i just... wanted to give Emmet cuddles alright? /lh i had another sketch exploring exactly what Emmet might look, but i think ill revisit that when i... haven't been drawing for 7 hours straight hgfireohgope. the one in this is more simplified. the horror of having your face show one emotion- not even the one your most known for... your voice is toneless and the only was you can show even a fraction of what you feel is by copying what you (supposedly) dead brother used to do. there is a quiet horror in that- and yet Emmet still goes on. he cant feel texture and yet... he deserves many nice things.
this one!!! was originally going to be an Entire piece with a more "realistic" drawing of Ingo sitting behind a fire just like this. when i sketched this out (in the middle of reading it) that was the plan. Jedi saved me by making Emmet draw it like this. you saved me probably an hour ghirepoghpeirh. i... still might draw it how i wanted at some point. also the lighting was added last minute! i thought it would look... more messy with the light of the fire shining on it. i think it looks nice. the scene was sweet and, like Emmet mentioned he did, i put emphasis (or uh... thicker more defined lines) around peoples faces to better define their happiness. it made me happy to read them being happy and then draw them being happy <3
them!!!!!! i do not think it is a secret at All how much i love this au. i was More than happy to draw them again. and!!! being happy!!! perfect. i remembered this was a dream, and decided to blur the background quite a bit of this one- lopsided like its not really being thought about. adored this one. them!! teasing each other!! just!! going through a day!! perfect. amazing. it was really fun the way the small details of their routine was captured. from Ingo just. turning to goop so he doesn't have to pick up his clothes to Emmet just. accepting everything that happened from the mental connection to the shared feelings.
DRAMATIC FORESHORTENING!!!! i almost wanted to play it up More but then i might lose Ingo's expression. the background for this was fun to do- emphasis! strong colors!! looks like something broke. like something was torn away. this whole bit is just. exactly what Emmet fears and its just. ough. Ingo would never do this- we know this, Emmet knows this two- he knows how ridiculous Ingo was being here. and then the climax with Emmet just... falling off... amazing. Ingo's horrified expression is what caught my attention here, though i had a few more ideas depicting Ingo leaning over Emmet. i figured a dramatic drawing here would fit.
so! there ya go. i had. so much fun doing this and! thank you so much for writing this and sharing with us Jedi. if you keep this up, ill just have to keep making more drawings!! i don't think words are enough- not even sure if these can properly express how i felt reading it all (i actual had to get up and pace around bc i got so excited) but! i think that your art inspired my own art is a very beautiful thing.
lets all keep making art with one another forever.
#submas#submas au#ray's art#ingo#emmet#ray rambles#man.#sometimes#you encounter something that strikes you hard enough to let you work for 7 hours straight#and its freaking amazing#ah- apologizes for any misspellings#i am rather tired haha- im not checking as thoroughly as usual#thak you jedi <3#Subway Boss Emmet
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idk if these have been submitted yet but
- its by your side i make my home
- revenge is best served sweet
- & i said to the star “consume me”
- like storms in the summer
- let me love those bruises out of you
- of all the stars in the sky you see me (fav out of all of these)
- winner x winner
- handle me soft
- come as you are (& ill love you like that)
all written by miah_kat @sawamura-daichis-thighs !!!
my absolute fav killugon fics, all short one shots and so cuteee
this author also has some cute leopika fics too!
Featured Writer: Miah_Kat
9 Works.
of all the stars in the sky, you see me ( G | 3,058 | 1/1 )
“Does it bother you?” Gon asks, tilting his head to pin Killua with a wide-eyed look. His tone is genuinely concerned as he assures, “I can stop if you don’t like it.”
No, is his immediate reaction and, to his continued mortification, his mouth blurts it out without his permission. He shoves his hands in his pockets, ducking his chin to glare at the dirt as he mutters, “I mean, I don’t…mind it.” He glances back up at his friend through his fringe to find a delighted smile aimed his way, wide and bright and captivating. His heart leaps in his chest at the sight.
it's by your side i make my home ( G | 3,505 | 1/1 )
Gon giggles against his neck, smile pressed sweetly against Killua’s pounding pulse, and he can’t help but think he’d like to have more evenings like these. Nights spent on the couch together, talking about everything and nothing, Gon’s icy toes tucked under his thighs despite the fire just a few feet away. Evenings dancing around each other in the kitchen as dinner cooks, or waking up on the weekends to breakfast, or hastily packing lunches for one another when they’re running late for their next hunt. He wants all of them, mornings and afternoons and nights together, for as long as Gon will have him to share them.
revenge is best served sweet ( G | 1,747 | 1/1 )
Alluka knows full well that her brother would never call Gon ‘svet moyego serdtsa’ to his face if the boy had even an inkling of what the words meant.
It’s both amusing and frustrating. They’re both so obviously head-over-heels for each another and yet they continue to dance around the root of it all, always toeing the line that separates friends from lovers (a line that’s already sufficiently blurred), hearts still bruised tender by the past. She hopes that this fresh start will allow them to finally take that final step towards being happy together.
& i said to the star, "consume me" ( G | 1,320 | 1/1 )
There’s glitter on his face, a sparkle that plays hide-and-seek between highlight of the moon and shadows of the night. It enhances his beauty, the swell of his cheeks and the cupid bow of his lips; his eyelashes and hair shimmer with it, like a fresh snow or—
Gon can’t help but reach out, cupping Killua’s cheek so that he meets his gaze. His blue eyes are shadowed navy in the dark, wide with confusion.
“You’re like a star,” Gon breathes, awestruck. Even with just the moon’s pale glow, he can see the pastel pink that spreads over Killua’s face, a familiar warmth against his palm. Before Killua can protest, he murmurs, “Can I make a wish?”
Killua’s lips tilt up at that, what must seem like a corny, childish request. He indulges him with an affirming hum.
Gon takes a steadying breath, inhales slowly and holds it in his lungs for a moment before wishing, “Stay with me forever.”
like storms in summer ( T | 3,000 | 1/1 )
A sharp elbow in his gut distracts him, then Killua’s reprimanding tone as he scolds, “Watch the movie, perv.”
“But Killua,” Gon whines, drawing out the last vowels of his boyfriend’s name petulantly, “I missed you and the movie is boring anyway.”
“Hey!” Killua complains, turning in his hold enough to meet his gaze with a mock glare. “Take that back.”
“No,” Gon replies stubbornly, tightening his arms around Killua’s waist. He can see the familiar glint of mischief in those blue eyes, so he knows Killua isn’t actually upset about the insult to his favorite film. He’s just about to continue where he left off when Killua moves away, deliberately avoiding his advances if his smirk is any indication.
Gon whines his name again, trying in vain to kiss his boyfriend. Killua masterfully eludes him despite never leaving the circle of Gon’s arms.
“Take it back,” he demands again, poking Gon in the side, just below his ribs. He jumps reflexively, narrowing his eyes at the competitive tone. “Or I’ll make you.”
Heat flares in his stomach at those words, anticipation coursing through his veins as he goads back, “So make me.”
let me love those bruises out of you ( T | 2,296 | 1/1 )
“I’m not afraid of Killua,” Gon assures earnestly, putting every ounce of love and trust into his tone that he can. Killua still doesn’t budge, stubbornly holding on to his misplaced sense of protection. He’s so kind, Gon thinks a little sadly, that even in the midst of his own turmoil he thinks first of keeping Gon safe. So Gon waits patiently. He’s willing to sit here all night until Killua gives him his hand; he refuses to allow Illumi’s lies to take root any deeper than they already have.
His best friend knows him well enough to realize he’s fighting a losing battle because eventually he gives in with a heavy sigh, offering his hands reluctantly. Taking them in his own, Gon wastes no time in bringing one to his lips to place a kiss to his palm. Killua jolts at the touch as if shocked by his own electricity.
“G-Gon, don’t.” He shifts uneasily, even tries to tug his hands back again as he eyes Gon with an uncertain, wary gaze. His next words are so soft that they’re barely audible when he mumbles, “They’re dirty.”
winner x winner ( T | 2,124 | 1/1 )
What are you doing? he wants to ask, but the words lodge themselves in his throat; he can feel his heartbeat in his fingertips. If you touch me like this, I’ll—
“Killua looks good with his hair like this,” Gon murmurs absently, almost like he’s thinking aloud, trailing his hand higher still until he’s carding his fingers through the longer curls. His eyes dart over, lower, and his hand follows until he’s fingering one of the piercings in Killua’s ear. His touch is soft against the sensitive skin; it’s all Killua can do not to shiver.
“And these, too,” Gon adds. Is it Killua’s imagination or was his tone kind of breathy? But that wouldn’t make sense—Gon doesn’t—
He tries to respond, licks his lips in an attempt to despite not knowing what to say, but then Gon’s gaze snaps down to lock on his mouth.
handle me soft ( G | 3,029 | 1/1 )
“Because Killua deserves to be spoiled,” Gon answers matter-of-factly, eyes lifting to meet his again and staying. Killua’s certain his face is way too red to blame on the lukewarm bathwater, so he turns away from the earnest look to face the wall again. Gon giggles knowingly behind him.
“I don’t,” he mumbles, wishing his hair wasn’t slicked back with suds so he could hide behind his fringe. He feels especially vulnerable right now, even with Gon at his back.
“You do.” Gon insists, tone brooking no argument as he starts to rinse the soap away. He reaches forward to tilt Killua’s head for him again. “Killua helps me all the time. The least I can do is wash your hair now and then.”
come as you are (& i'll love you like that) ( G | 2,523 | 1/1 )
It makes his heart ache, knowing Killua doesn’t truly know tenderness. That he hasn’t experienced contact that’s soft on his skin just because he deserves to be touched without having bruises left in the wake of it.
When he first realized it, Gon wanted to reach out and gather his friend close, wanted to offer an open palm and urge, Here, see? You’re safe. I’ll take care of you. But he noticed the rigid set of his best friend’s shoulders, the flex of his sharp fingers and the aversion of his eyes, and knew he would have to earn that right.
very demure & mindful of you to recommend these. i had no idea the Miah_Kat one-shot fluff kingdom existed, and my existence = infinitely better after reading every last one of these. their use of languages is so unique & heartwarming.
thank you so much for for rec ! (& for the library's first ever "featured writer" post. you guys can check out the new page dedicated to featured writers by clicking here.)
~ gabs ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ
#KilluGon#hxh#killugon featured writer#follower fic rec#long post#g: fluff#g: fluffangst#g: cc#g: future#rs: f2l#rs: est#writer: mia_kat
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alright i been meaning to do this so:
what is and is not allowed to be done with any of my characters! this includes art, fics, edits, headcanons, whathaveyou
[general content/trigger warning for uncomfortable, possibly-triggering topics because this is mainly the gist of what i dont want to see]
x = never ? = ask for permission
do nots: x - no noncon (if you engage to work through your feelings, never make my characters the perpetrators, it skeeves me out) ? - no genderbends/sexswaps/whatever they're called anymore? idk just don't mess with their gender, pronouns*, or assigned-sex-at-birth as a general thing unless i already have or okayed you directly. triple-especially if they're not cis x - respect their romantic orientations/sexualities! if you don't know a character's then you can ask me, but yeah. ie: don't ship andrew with women, he's homosexual x - [NSFW] absolutely no ageplay kinks or anything like that with my characters. no raceplay. just..nothing like that. x - no pregnancy. no mpreg. no omegaverse. none of it. (i've come a long way from it being straight-up a trigger but still, yea,) i have had some of my characters naturally be pregnant/have babies but i'd rather handle it myself, if you know what i mean x - this is a duh, but nothing hateful/bigoted using my characters. like, for instance, i do joke abt shit and say mainverse!entre is a conservative but don't unironically use him for anything awful like that. joking/memeing around about his terrible political stances is fine though x - i would never write or have my characters telling anyone to "kill yourself" so please don't have them say stuff like that. even if it's a joke. it makes me uncomfortable. (there may be a few exceptions in my giant roster of ocs but as a general rule just avoid it) x - never use my ocs likenesses or art of them as art for your own ocs. that's never okay. my ocs designs are for my own characters only.
*it's okay to have neopronoun headcanons
okay! generally anything i havent said isn't okay IS okay, but just so anyone reading this has a clearer idea
it's okay to use my characters for expressing yourself, venting, or just personal stuff like that. if my characters help you through something, go ahead and express it. i'm happy they help :)
playing around with gender presentation (not gender) is perfectly okay with any of my characters
shipping in general is fine as long as it doesnt go against the don'ts list. i dont care who you ship them with
[NSFW] i'm okay with pretty much any other kinks other than anything that goes into noncon, bigotry, or underage so go wild even if it's not my thing personally i don't care. (ie: the swagtre piss fic? lol im not a watersports guy but chase your bliss)
my characters are all free game for anything horror themed as well. horror as a genre, body horror, psychological horror, whatever. go for it. i have a personal major squick for eye gore but i can handle (and enjoy) pretty much anything else in this realm. go as gorey or not as you like (just tag appropriately for other ppls sakes)
handling self-harm/suicide idealization themes is technically? okay? for my characters? just uh...be respectful i guess. and definitely tag appropriately. this theme is canon for a few of them so i am okay with it just handle it with care is what i'm saying
go ham-buck-wild with mental illness headcanons or projections or anything like that. i dont think i have an oc that doesn't have at least something, so if you see yourself in their symptoms, go for it. only some of them i have personal labels for some of their stuff but otherwise it's whatever. just be respectful, again.
kinning is also okay! kin, synpath anything like that. go ahead! go wild with it. i think it's neat. just be respectful.
and an important note to all of this, other than being respectful to others and the characters themselves, is to respect me. just because it's okay that you do it with my character, doesn't mean i have to agree with it or make it canon or anything like that. it just means i gave you permission to engage like that. so please don't come to me trying to ask or force me to change something about my own characters or get so lost in your headcanons you start to disrespect what i've established myself
and if you ever have any questions about them or any of this, just let me know. i'm always happy to help
also yet again DONT REPOST MY NSFW ART ARGHHHH!!!
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deeply curious abt mentally ill timeskip goh and his ditto. but for some reason mostly his hair??? did he grow it out on purpose? does he take care of it? just brush and go or does he use products? not important or something he takes pride in?? idk why
hi anon thank you SO much for asking!!
(ok so disclaimer the premise of this timeskip is like what i think would be a natural future scenario for the characters. most of my fics are AUs so essentially unrelated, but in terms of designs and stuff this is kind of what i’m playing with in those fics too. the short answer to the hair thing is i just think it’s neat. but dw there’s also a long answer :p)
“mentally ill timeskip goh” is perfect btw. that’s him in a nutshell. if he’s not mentally ill what’s the fucking point /j
i think that goh is someone who, in canon, uses his ambitions as a distraction from things that actually upset him - i mean, we see him as a kid from his parents’ perspective so invested in research that he barely acknowledges when they say they won’t be home for the holidays because they have to work, but his own memory of the same scene is coloured with a little more emotion lol. so we get the impression that he tries hard for his parents’ sakes to be unbothered by their lifestyle. i wrote about how goh is a quintessential parentified child here and doing that to your kid is basically just asking for them to grow up to become a neurotic workaholic which is why He’s Like That. but in canon meeting ash opens him up to other opportunities - where he is valued and appreciated by someone who, like him, is so driven by his goals he’s willing to. you know. jump on the back of a a giant god-bird mid-flight.
but then he and ash go separate ways. and even though goh comes out of their shared time together every day a little more friendly and open, he’s still himself, right??? so while ash is off journeying, i think goh would eventually take more of a gary path where he does stay in one place for an extended amount of time in order to further his education (as an aside, at this time gary is between kalos and hoenn studying primal reversion). he tries the ash thing first, but it’s not the same on his own. using his goal of catching every pokemon as a distraction from the fact that he gets lonely without ash only works so well. but he’d rather eat his own arm than admit that to anyone, let alone ash (who keeps in touch…to an extent), so he eventually pivots and seeks out other opportunities. one of those opportunities results in a cerulean cave expedition where he meets his ditto, whose goal is stirring as much shit as it possibly can and as a result it’s very talented at transformations. i don’t have the whole story there figured out yet, but for one reason or another ditto decides to go with goh (who is very impressed by its ability, and sees that it could be a huge asset to his research).
goh’s field of research is pokemon genealogy - quite literally working his way up to mew! (as a result, he winds up consulting frequently with gary, who is a pokemon palaeontologist. so they’re not actively coworkers but they still work together. here are your crumbs shigegou nation.) ditto is the perfect research assistant because its transformations are a cellular reconstruction. so yes it can transform into any other pokemon but it can also in theory transform into any other pokemon moved-slightly-to-the-left. meaning that it can replicate less evolved (in the real-world definition of evolution, not the pokemon definition) versions of pokemon based on models and simulations.
but going back to the being lonely thing, that’s why he got the early 20s depression beam LOL (imo there are other things wrong with him but thats a whole other essay). his hair getting long initially is just a result of never getting it cut (first because he’s travelling and doesn’t have time for that, then because he’s “too busy” in general) but i think he’d come to like it because it’s easier to manage in the sense that he can just pull it back and ignore it lmao. also it’s a little Gender and i think he would grow to appreciate that quality. so it’s not something he takes pride in necessarily but i don’t think he’d have any kind of dramatic “i’m not too depressed to cut my hair anymore” moment or anything. he doesn’t have the patience to style it himself but i think he’d be willing to let chloe tackle it now and then!
#answered#anon#i also think gary makes a lot of comments about goh’s stupid hair that are complimentary in a demeaning way#and they have a stupid weird relationship where being mean to each other is how they flirt#i guess i should make a tag for this but i have to get to work so thats a later me problem
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how can you like drunk angst over first kiss?? 🥺
anon is regarding this post here, specifically my tags
characters discussed belong to @dakotawritesif / @disenchantedif
omg, so easily lol
bc its not just drunk angst, it is drunk angst about knowing their ex is gonna DIE, UNNATURALLY, AND SOON and pining/having never made up with them
but also im an asmr/audio-roleplay connoisseur*, so like, uh, also the following here. yeah. this primes me up to LOVE drunk ex scenario regret/pining shit lol (you'll have to excuse all these audios being men btw, i have a soft spot for deep voices and there isnt many deep-voiced women VAs in the audio-roleplay community (unfortunately foR MEEEE UGHH), much less many that have a video involving this niche Drunk Ex trope anyway lmao rip (same with the audios all being either "for Anybody" or "for Females". i don't currently have any "for Males" in this niche, even tho im the type of enby that listens to all three types of "for [you]" audios. alas. boo hiss))
none of these are "Luci-Inserts" btw, moreso "Evidence of why OF COURSE I AM MORE HYPED FOR DRUNK HALLWAY OVER FIRST KISS", like a vision board kinda sorta lmao
When Your Ex Drunk Calls You (I Miss You) (Slurred Speech) (Funny) (ASMR) (M4A).. (Fun fact: this VA is Scottish. also M4A = Male For Anyone, not just M4M (male for male) or M4F (male for female))
(this one is by the same Scottish VA) When You Drink With Your Ex (Kissing) (Exes to Lovers) (Drunk) (Regret) (Wholesome) (M4A) (ASMR)
(more of this Scottish VA bc he makes me laugh) When Your Crush Drunkenly Confesses To You (Singing Idiot) (Taking Care Of Him) (Silly) (ASMR) (M4A) (bonus there is a morning-after part two to this one yay)
Your Drunk Best Friend Wants You Gor Valentines [M4A] [Tsundere] [Confession] [Sober Listener] (and this one has a part two about the morning-after too)
ASMR Voice: I Should Have Told You [M4A] [Drunk Voicemail] [Ex-boyfriend] [Missing you] [Regret]
Audio Roleplay for Women | "Orbit" | Drunken Confession
Audio RP: Your Ex-boyfriend Asks For Another Chance [M4A] (not drunk but i love this one) (also it has a part two as well yayyy)
this one ((M4A but he does say you have a "pretty face") bc i do like Luci being upset someone is going to hurt the MC) and this one ((M4F) because i like the frustration lmao rip) also fit the vibe but neither are drunk or exes lmao rip
like, you would think as someone who is chronically ill to the point that my meds say "absolutely no alcohol (and one used to say no weed, idk if im still on that one, id have to go check)" that i would not give a shit about drunk scenarios buT I DO LOVE IT IN FICTION SO MUCH. my irl friends also like getting drunk on/off, or high, and my forced sobriety due to meds (and also family history, let's be honest. i do come from a long line of addicts, apparently, best i dont get involved, and i never have been) means i get to play Designated Driver pretty often. so i do recognize some realities/fantasties in the scenario. but also, god, i love the trope because it allows for such forced vulnerabilities, i fucking love whump fics, and a drunk ex fic is really just a whump fic with no bruises
and, ngl, i do think it is more likely we will get a First Kiss pov somewhere down the line if it loses than i think we will get a Hallway pov if it loses
plus, they were like what, 10?? 11??? idk how old they were when Luci/MC got together. but i know these fuckers are fresh out of high school and Luci is getting drunk, which means biTCHES ARE UNDERAGE DRINKING (which is an interesting characterization for Luci that i think reveals a lot about the Rivera parents as well as Luci's connections to wealth/alcohol), so there is that drama of "hide, hide, hide!!" if nothing else
and, again, then there's not only the angst of "ah, my ex-partner and/or -best friend" and the wanting to make up platonically/romantically but there is also the angst of "i knOW YOU'RE GOING TO GET MURDERED SOON AND IM NOT READY TO GO TO YOUR FUNERAL BUT I DONT KNOW HOW TO STOP THIS" kind of "lost time", "call for rain-check until you can't" angle too. plus, i could see Luci being protective or frustrated or terrified, there are so many fun angles no matter the platonic/romantic additional feelings involved. and, because of how this pov works, there isnt going to be a kiss or anything happening. so it's just going to be slow-burn (to friends or lovers, idk your mc) and pining (platonic pining is a thing), i love that for me specifically lmao
but i do, like, get it. i get what you mean. if i thought this ask was mean-spirited, i wouldve deleted it and not answered; but i read this as "lol yeah that is fucked of me huh lmao you right". bc, YEAH, first kiss is romantic, drunk in your shared hallways is NOT lmao rip but i dont care if its romantic or not, i care that its making my guts get all twisted up. and the angst of (1) drunk ex that needs to taken care of (or needs to run away from you, either or) (2) thinks youre going to be murdered/in an accident and die soon and (3) may/may not still be in love with you and (4) knows they dont have enough time to reconcile with you and make-up for lost time... ngl, that is going to impact me more than a first kiss. im ready for the tragedy. fucking love this kinda shit
also i have my own hcs about my mc, Giselle "Gigi" Kraven, and Luci Rivera's first kiss. so. that probably also plays a role in all this bUT HEY!! IM STILL TRYING FOR THE 50/50 LMAO RIP WE ARE HELPING EACH OTHER, MY COMRADE 🤝 YOU GET (DOOMED) FLUFF AND I GET (ALSO DOOMED) DRUNK ANGST, THAT'S A WIN-WIN LOL
*i would like to add: i have no idea if any of these VAs have drama or something. i dont pay attention to the fandoms, except vaguely for Redacted Audios because of the theories and world-building happening there (which the video here doesnt have much to do with), but otherwise i am so fucking ignorant bc i do not look these people up, i just watch their videos. i have been burned too many times by the Steven Universe fandom and other such communities and whatnot to get involved in fandoms i am only casually into, so i just only stick my nose into fandoms/creators i am die-hard into and dont delve into the rest, thanks for understanding if i may be out of the loop ✌️
#shwarmi#me#disenchanted if#disenchanted#luci rivera#edit: ngl the Cardlin video (or however you spell his name) swuicks me out a bit bc he says ''[I miss] Your body..'' and i went#EW UGH GROSS GET AWAY FROM ME but it was two words so ill allow it to stay on the list bc not everybody is so anti towards the#idea of other people seeing them as sexy. gahh i hate being seen as sexually appealing. makes me wanna gag ugh#*squicks
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.·*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა *̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .
1K APPRECIATION POST
ohmygod. first of all HUUGE thank yous to everyone that ever interacted with my posts. even if it was a single heart, every little interaction is superrr important to me!! the support i got from everyone encouraged me to continue writing so im not the only one to credit for my fics. every nice comment/reblog/ask also played a big role in it!! im writing this post breathless n jumping around my room cuz !?!! im so grateful i dont even know how to thank you. im sending kisses and good energy for every nice person 🩷🔮✨✨ manifesting an ellie coded girlfriend for everyone🤭(its me im the ellie coded girlfriend) if u guys have any special ideas or just want to chat my inbox is always open !!
❁્᭄͜͡people i often get notification from (read: i love you babes);
@aouiaa UH. UHHH.. HELLO?? my biggest supporter fr. im telling u im only waiting for your comment everytime i post!! you were there since the start (well.. almost) and i dont think ill ever forget you 😮💨
@pick-me-up-im-scared of course big thank you to one of my biggest supporters (also my first one) and friend. i still believe ill be able to make you read my abby fics one day .. let a girl have dreams
@coff1nn you and aouiaa are the real ones fr !! always commenting on my posts and all like damn just ask me out already;(( no jkjk but your comments make me so happy awjajznsj love u
@lesbiantothemoonandback you reblogging my posts. when i tell you im on my knees. the kind of motivation i didnt know i needed.. i be rushing to write next fics after seeing your reblogs 😓😓
@dinoastronaut i also see you really often in my notifs (maybe im just delulu idk) and i wanna kiss you everytime you comment 🤗 ima do it now mwah mwah
@skylerwhitwyo sometning about you made you stay in my mind ?? you know what i mean ?? i think its the pfp that makes me scream 'omg skylerwhitwyo liked my post!!' everytime i see it cuz its just so pretty (also yes i call you by your username in my head. i refuse to believe your name isnt really skylerwhitwyo)
and to the 994 pookies left, thank you too. seriously. like, i want to hold hands and go on a picnic with every single one of you☹️☹️💞💞
#reqs open#ellie williams#1k celebration#abby the last of us#abby anderson#abby tlou#ellie tlou#ellie the last of us
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