#but also she’s a downright creep in most comics

[savemefromanepicoftimewasted]

The Gang's All Here

Biker!John Price X Wife!Reader

 It was adorable, you were the mom of the group when it came to everything, especially when they were on leave. You’d invite everyone over and feed them until they were all too full.

a/n:this fic was inspired by this GORGEOUS artwork by @yakowo and I could not get the idea out of my head, also for anyone who voted in favor for the tattoos? you're welcome (P.S. I'm so sorry for making you guys wait MONTHS for this!)

(These are the tattoos I picture John having!)

John wasn’t the type of person that you’d expect to come onto base riding a motorcycle, a Harley Davidson no less. So, when Soap and Gaz were outside cracking jokes together their jaws dropped as John parked the roaring beast. When the hell had he managed to find the time to ride? It felt like they’d been gone for the last year nonstop. Gaz had heard all about how much you missed John. It was adorable, you were the mom of the group when it came to everything, especially when they were on leave. You’d invite everyone over and feed them until they were all too full.

“Laswell approved the time off, we’re gonna get to spend Halloween with the missus this year.” Gaz was probably more excited than anyone.

It may have been due to the fact you were all planning on matching, Gaz had picked Simon’s name from the hat, while you and Johnny were going to be matching. John downright refused, saying he couldn’t trust the boys to pick his costume. He’d made you swear to secrecy, no one was allowed to know his costume until Halloween. You weren’t complaining though, not after he’d promised to let you help ‘grease him up’.

“Better not get too rowdy this year, lord knows Johnny nearly got arrested last time.” Of course that had been because someone had tried to roughly grab you when John was off getting you drinks.

The boys had always been quite protective of you, doing whatever they could to make sure you were safe and keep all the creeps away. You’d been married to their captain the entire time they’d all known one another, so you were the co-captain in their eyes. Johnny was definitely the most protective, he saw you as a little sister(even though you were older than him). Simon would simply glare at anyone who looked at you wrong, scaring them off before they could utter a single word. Gaz would throw down with anyone who dared utter a single bad thing about you, how dare you disrespect his co-captain!

“He said he’d be on his best behavior, something about not wanting to anger the missus this time.” You’d turned into a scolding mother when Johnny began to act out, it was hilarious to watch.

John had thrown you over his shoulder even while you were kicking and screaming to be put down so you could continue your scolding. Johnny learned that night not to piss you off lest he deal with your wrath for the rest of the night. It was a comical thing, knowing you could insight fear into a man who sees death for a living.

“Better not, she told me they’re doing matching costumes and I can’t risk her needin’ to get a costume last minute.” That wasn’t to say you wouldn’t be able to find something from your closet, but you’d planned this months prior.

“Simon and I are too, you’re gonna be the odd man out captain.” Gaz smirked over at the other man, noticing the way his brow raised slightly.

“You and Ghost are wearing matching costumes? How’d you convince him?” Simon wasn’t afraid to let loose and enjoy himself, but wearing a costume to match with Kyle? That was shocking.

“Said he wanted to wear something to help get some attention, can’t say much else.” Gaz was going to keep his lips sealed until halloween had arrived, it was going to be the surprise of the century.

John knew better than to try and pry, this was out of his hands and as long as you were happy, he was happy. His mind began to wander for a few seconds, what would the holidays be like when you had your own little tots running around. You’d probably dress them up into cute halloween costumes and take them trick or treating. It didn’t sound like such a horrible thing at the moment, seeing you take the little ones up to the doors to get candy you’d sneak for yourself. No, no thinking about things like that when you’re at work and have important things to do, like a mountain of paperwork.

“Keep an eye on things and make sure the new recruits aren’t acting like idiots, please.” John waited for Gaz to acknowledge his words before heading down to his office.

The picture from your wedding day was the only one he’d been willing to take to base with him, not wanting to risk the wrong person knowing about you. His wedding ring sat alongside his dog tags, resting against his chest every day. It was a reminder that no matter how stressful things could be, he would always go home to you at the end of the day. They weren’t due for another assignment until the end of November, mainly because Laswell needed more intel first. Maybe that was the only reason they were allowed the few weeks of leave that was granted. Oh well.

It was nearing seven at night by the time John realized he hadn’t so much as left his desk to get a drink or even a bite to eat. Shit, you were going to absolutely ream his ass when he got home and you found out. This wasn’t the first time, and absolutely wasn’t going to be the last that he’d completely forgotten about himself. Simon had given him hell from time to time, telling him he needed to eat before you showed up at the base yourself. It had only happened once, though that was more due to the fact he needed the paperwork he’d forgotten and not because he hadn’t left his desk for..ten hours.

Standing up and stretching his tired limbs he groaned at the exertion and cracking from his idle bones. Shit, he had definitely been sitting for too long if standing for a few seconds sent shivers down his spine almost instantly. Time to get something to eat and head home for the next few weeks. He’d barely made it out of his office before Johnny was running over with what could only be described as childlike glee.

“Captain! Was hopin’ I could catch you.” The plus side of working alongside Johnny was that he could get shit done when necessary, the downside is when he was excited the man could talk forever.

“Just grabbing a quick bite and heading out, have you got your leave papers yet?” John didn’t have much time to talk, not if he wanted to make it home before you were in bed already.

“Just this mornin’, I wanted to ask about the bike.” Johnny was nervous, given that the last time he’d seen one was nothing more than a quick glance on their last mission.

“What about it?” John turned into the cafeteria, grabbing a plastic wrapped sandwich that was most likely made that morning.

Johnny wrung his hands together nervously, if questioned he would vehemently deny that his palms had become sweaty when asking his higher-up about something as simple as a motorcycle. Maybe he could just ask you about it instead, surely John had told you some things here and there and you’d managed to pick up any information.

“I uhh, I was wondering where you got it, she’s a beaut.” There, he’d ripped off the bandaid and didn’t need to make this any harder than it needed to be.

“Found her through a seller, she was in pretty rough shape so I’ve been fixin’ her up on leaves.” The bike was John’s pride and joy, second of course to you, but he loved his harley in a different way.

“Oh! Okay, that’s cool.” Johnny nodded, keeping a slight distance between himself and his captain.

“Any reason you’re asking?” John grabbed a bottle of water before turning to sit down at one of the open tables.

Johnny felt his nerves skyrocket, how does one admit they’d always wanted to ride but were too afraid of nearly getting themselves killed? His mother had given him hell for it, saying he’d lose his life by being reckless. It had deterred the idea for years, but seeing so many bikes made him want to do it anyway. 

“No reason, see you later cap.” Johnny nodded once before heading out of the room.

John wouldn’t lie and say he wasn’t confused, it wasn’t often that people even saw him on the rumbling biped vehicle, but given the opportunity he always took it. Nothing more invigorating than feeling the wind whip around you, the sound of the bike echoing behind. You would beg John to take you for a ride constantly, especially on date night.

The recruits were quiet as they sat amongst themselves, discussing what their next drills would possibly be. It suddenly hit John how old he was, he’d been so used to making sure that everyone else was taken care of that he hadn’t taken the time to really look at life. You’d both discussed having children when the both of you were truly ready. If it came down that neither of you would truly be ready for a child, then neither of you would become parents. He’d just be the fun uncle that could send the kiddos home hyped up on sugar.

After he’d finished his sandwich and water it was time to head out. Any paperwork was sent off for review, and if it wasn’t up to Laswell’s standards she could wait until he was back. Getting home and relaxing for the rest of the night was high on his priority list at the moment. Maybe the two of you could order take out instead of cooking, maybe even a glass of wine to go along with it. You’d be dealing with everyone in a few days anyway, god where had the year gone that it was already Halloween again.

The sun was nearly gone by the time John had made it out of his office, grabbing the keys to his bike and heading towards the garage. Ghost’ voice was booming, words sharp as a whip towards whomever he was angry with. John sighed deeply before turning towards the shooting range, if it was a new recruit this could get ugly fast. And much to his annoyance it was not one, but four new recruits, each of them looked terrified as Simon nearly towered over them.

“Do you think this is a joke? Something to laugh about?!” Ghost was enraged, hands clenched into fists by his side.

“No sir.” They spoke in unison, each with their heads down, gazes locked on the floor.

“The next time you come in here thinkin’ you’re gonna play with the weapons, I will have you removed, permanently.” Ghost took gun safety quite seriously, one wrong move could end the lives of multiple people.

“Yes sir.” They all nodded, waiting for further instructions.

“Get out of my sight.” Ghost crossed his arms over his chest, waiting until they all scrambled away before turning to face John.

There were no words shared between the two men, neither of them needed to say anything to get their points across anyway. However, John wanted to make sure that Simon would be alright before leaving for the night.

“Still coming over for Halloween?” John was still curious on what Gaz had picked for the costumes, couldn’t be too bad.

“I promised your missus I would anyway.” No one on the task force could tell you no, it was adorable.

“I’ll see you then, make sure the recruits stay out of trouble.” John nodded at him, heading down to the garage so he could get home to you.

The night air was cold, bike rumbling beneath him as he wound his way along the roads that lead to your shared home. He’d sent a quick text to you before he left, telling you to order dinner so the two of you could relax together. Good food, a glass of wine, and the most amazing wife that he could ever ask for sounded like a perfect night to him. Now if he could ignore the clawing thoughts that came with work that would be even better. Laswell knew better than to call him unless it was an absolute emergency that he needed to attend to.

The light was on outside as he pulled into the driveway, parking the bike and waiting until it was settled to step off. The sound of music echoed through the partially opened window, the sound of your voice following along with the lyrics. John snickered to himself, it was definitely a song from your younger years, it was definitely a 90’s boyband. If you were letting loose, what would he walk into? Shaking off his shoulders he headed into the house, locking the door behind him before slipping off his boots.

“Baby!” You ran over, throwing your arms around his neck in a tight embrace.

“Hello to you too, having a party without me?” John’s arms wrapped around your waist, pulling you flush to his body.

“Never, can’t have a party without the man of the hour.” You pressed a light kiss to his lips, giggling as he tried to pull you back for more.

The two of you laughed happily, dancing together until the doorbell rang loudly, letting you know your dinner had arrived. You had mentioned a movie you’d wanted to see earlier that week, talking about how scary it was from your friends. John could handle some little movie no problem at all, everything about it was fake anyway.

“Alright, got our food, drinks, time to turn on the movie.” You wiggled into your seat, pressing play on the remote before digging in to your food.

The movie, for lack of a better word, was absolutely terrible. It was sort of a tradition in your home that during October you would watch corny horror movies whenever John was home. It was something you’d been adamant on, refusing to let the tradition die out. Of course you’d watch the classic horror movies to help break up the monotony of the bad ones. John had insisted you watch The Thing recently, until you remembered the kennel scene. Watching poor animals, even fake ones, get hurt always makes you upset.

“What do we watch next? We’ve got a few days before the party, and you don’t need to go back until after.” You popped a few pieces of popcorn into your mouth, chewing slowly so you didn’t get any kernels stuck between your teeth.

John pondered for a brief moment, he’d loved watching the classics, but maybe something new could be better? No, something from the 90’s maybe.

“What about Candyman?” It was one of your favorites, having grown up as a horror fan you clung onto the infamous movie.

“A man after my own heart.” You giggled and grabbed your remote to turn the movie on. 

The only light in your living room, besides the TV of course, were the string lights you’d hung up in the middle of September. You’d claimed it would help give ambience to the movie watching experience, and John definitely had to admit that it had. It gave off an eerie vibe that he couldn’t quite place, but given that it was Halloween he wasn’t going to complain.

You could practically recite the movie, the way Tony Todd portrayed the character of Candyman so well never ceased to amaze you. You’d wanted to have a career in film making, but given that the industry was one of the hardest to get into, your dreams were crushed. 

You wouldn’t have met John had you followed your dreams.

You hummed softly, it was true, had you followed your heart you would have never met your husband. Sure you probably would’ve met someone in Hollywood, but it wouldn’t have been the same.

“Wait, what are you wearing for Halloween?” You glanced over at your husband.

“I’ve got a pair of overalls I’m gonna grease up. Go dressed as a mechanic.” John was nothing short of efficient. He’d found them one day after going through his clothes and tossing out anything that was either too old, or had holes to be thrown away.

“Hmm, that works.” You turned and put your attention back onto the movie on your screen.

You and Johnny would be matching, while Simon and Kyle would technically be matching. It had started as a joke but after discussing it, you had all agreed and the plans were set in stone. The costumes arrived a few weeks after you’d ordered them, the boys all paying you back right away. John of course had no idea what you were wearing, and you weren’t going to tell him until the very night of. It was going to be quite the surprise, you couldn’t wait for him to see.

Halloween

You were pulling on your undergarments, not wanting to spoil any surprises your husband might find later before quickly pulling on your dress. You’d been tempted to order a wig to truly match but you didn’t want to risk it. Instead you fixed up your hair, placing the headband before pulling on a pair of pantyhose. After a quick glance in the mirror you were happy with your look, pulling on the shoes and heading down to the living room. The boys had all crammed into your home, each of them taking their respective costumes to go and change. John had run to the store to get one final bag of candy, promising he’d be back in time to head to the party.

Kyle walked out in his amazing glory, the fluffy coat showing off his amazing physique.

“I have to admit, you make an amazing Ken.” You snickered and twirled your finger, telling him to give you a full view.

The costume was perfect, down to the headband and sunglasses he’d managed to find last minute. It was the only thing missing out of his entire get up.

“What can I say? I was born to be a total stud.” He smirked before bursting into laughter, both of you righting yourselves as Johnny walked out.

“I forgot how much I hated wearing boots sometimes.” Johnny muttered to himself.

The two of you had dressed as Velma and Daphne, Johnny had offered to be Velma since he was already a natural brunette. You weren’t going to argue with the man, the dress gave your husband even easier access.

“If you can tuck the bottom of the sweater under itself, it’ll look better.” You walked over and helped him adjust the dark orange sweater, brushing down the fabric of his skirt.

“Bettah?” Johnny glanced at you, hoping you could head out soon.

“Much.” You smiled and stepped back from him.

Before any of you could say anything else Simon walked out of the guest bathroom, the hot pink outfit causing all of your jaws to drop open. How Kyle had convinced him to dress up as cowboy Barbie you weren’t entirely sure, but god did he look fantastic.

“I have to admit, you look fucking hot right now.” Your eyes were wide, hands reaching up to mess with the green scarf wrapped around your neck.

“Thanks, this is all Kyle’s idea.” Simon tossed his bag down beside the couch.

“I’m not complaining, those pants are doing so much for your ass right now.” Your cheeks heated up before you caught the way Johnny was also eyeing him. At least you weren’t alone.

The sound of the front door opening suddenly caught your attention, your husband made it home with a few minutes to spare. Such a procrastinator that one was, now you’d be rushing out the door to get to the party.

“Sorry! Nearly got into a fight with someone who almost hit me on the way home. I just need to get dressed.” John dropped the candy into the large bowl, turning to face the rest of you.

His eyes landed on Simon first, a slight brow raised before he saw Kyle, followed by Johnny, and then lastly you. 

“Don’t tell me. Kyle and Simon are Barbie and Ken, and you two are Daphne and Velma?” John snickered as he slipped off his shoes quickly.

“Good job, now go get dressed so we can leave!” You all but pushed your husband towards your bedroom.

You could discuss the costumes later when you were actually where you needed to be for the night, right now was not the time. The plus side is that you were within walking distance of the party, the downside was that you were definitely going to be late. 

“Jeez, your arms look even bigger.” Kyle blurted out as Simon flexed his arms. Johnny was practically drooling at the sight.

“Alright, you guys head outside and I’ll see what’s taking John so long.” You waited until they’d all left, mainly to make sure poor Johnny didn’t pass out.

Shaking your head you made your way down to your bedroom, pushing the door open slowly so you didn’t startle him.

“Hey hun, are you…” You trailed off as you saw your husband, the white tank top he’d dirtied and greased up showed off the sleeves of tattoos as well as his back piece beautifully.

“Hmm? Oh, yeah, let’s go hun.” John spritzed a couple sprays of cologne before heading over to you.

You watched the way his muscles ripped beneath the fabric, eyes glancing down to his legs beneath the coveralls. The arms over his coveralls were wrapped around his waist, giving him the look of being an actual mechanic. Jesus you weren’t going to be able to keep your hands off of him at this rate.

“I’ll have to remember to have someone take a photo of us when we get there.” You grabbed your wristlet and headed out of the house with John.

The other three, that were locked in a heated discussion, all fell silent as they saw their captain in a tank top. 

“Holy shit, you’re covered in tattoos?!” Kyle was floored, he’d recently found out his captain rode motorcycles, but seeing this? This was all new.

“Oh, yeah, I’ve had these for years.” John merely shrugged, wrapping an arm around your waist as you all made the short walk to Kate’s house.

The music was loud enough that you could hear it outside, but it was clear that everyone was still able to have conversations. Kyle, Simon, and Johnny all took off the moment you got inside with John, causing you to roll your eyes. You just wanted one photo to at least remember the night, the costumes looked so good too!

“I’ll make sure they take a photo before we head home tonight, promise.” John pressed a kiss to your hair, leading you further into the party.

“Thank you.” You smiled as you leaned against him, avoiding any of the grease that could ruin your dress.

The party was lively, everyone complimenting your costume as well as John’s even asking a few questions about his tattoos. John was proud of the work he’d had done, especially the back piece he’d sat through over five sessions for. You loved when John got the recognition he deserved. The man was downright gorgeous, and you were reveling in the fact that he’d chosen you out of everyone.

The hours flew by, the drinks flowing through your system before John cut you off. He wasn’t going to risk getting you drunk like last time. You’d taken photos with all of your friends, giggling at the couples costume that Farah and Alex had done. He’d dressed up as a dinosaur while she was dressed like a handler. Everyone took photos with John, claiming they wanted to show off the tattoos he had and see if they could get something half as good. You knew better, it was only because of how gorgeous your husband was. You weren’t blind, even in regular clothes John was the most attractive man you’d ever met.

“Hey, why don’t I take you home? It’s getting late anyway.” John could see the way your eyes were drooping closed, exhaustion seeping into your bones.

“We gotta round up the boys too.” You’d offered up the spare bedrooms so they didn’t have to worry about driving home so late at night.

“Already did, sweetheart, so let’s go.” John scooped you up into his arms, saying goodbyes to everyone before making your way out of the house.

Your eyes slowly slipped closed as you rested against his chest, your feet sore from standing in the kitten heels for the last five hours. John didn’t so much as complain as he carried you to your shared home, opening the door to let everyone inside. Johnny didn’t hesitate to rip off his boots, tossing them aside before ripping off the sweater. John raised a brow at the younger man, watching as he hurriedly picked up his discarded items.

“Sorry, sir.” Johnny wasn’t going to let them lie around, would never do so in someone else’s home, but getting to strip down was his only thought.

“Just clean up, that's all I ask.” John turned and headed up to your bedroom, laying you on the plush mattress before turning to change into his own pajamas.

Your soft snores filled the air, chest rising and falling slowly as you slept peacefully on your bed. John chuckled and finished getting changed, turning to help you out of your own clothes. His eyes widened as he realized you had gotten new lingerie, jaw dropping open. He’d talk to you about it tomorrow, right now you were exhausted and needed some sleep.

After grabbing one of his more oversized shirts he helped ease you into the fabric, pulling off your headband and setting everything onto the dresser. You hadn’t so much as flinched the entire time, assuring John that you were completely asleep. He headed down to the living room, making sure the other three were settled before turning off the lights. It was fun getting to see everyone dressed up, simply enjoying themselves with good company.

“Thank you, for being the best thing I could ever ask for.” John crawled into bed beside you, pulling you flush to his chest.

You murmured softly in your sleep, wrapping your arms around his waist. There were definitely some things that the two of you needed to talk about. 

Those could wait, for now he would simply hold you and enjoy himself.

tagging: @gaylemonshark @thesinsoflust @dante-mightdie @mh073099

[maleyanderecafe]

I see so much of villains as yanderes but what about villains as Darling? How about a hunter being as obsessed with Cruella De Vil as she is obsessed with fur? A visiting Royal who is not really all that interested in Jasmine but as much a creep towards Jafar as Jafar is towards Jasmine in that one scene? A King who truelly views the Evil Queen in Snow White as the most beautilful woman in the world because of her coldness? Someone royal who walks past Cinderall and her stepsisters and wants Lady Tremaine? A merfolk who thinks Captain Hood is just the funniest and most handsome little human? All I am saying is what about evil being obsesed evil instead of innoncence in the most twisted of ways?

You understand. I think that a lot of yandere media tends to want to make their darlings a bit more normal, but none of them are really downright evil or at the very least a flawed person. I find that mostly BL does a better job of making a more morally gray lovers, as well as a handful of games, such as Past Hope and Sweetest Valentine. There are some darker ones too for comics/manga such as LifeLine, Idyllic Island or even Kill My Mother.

Anyways, that does sound like a really fun concept. I think that having more flawed loves for yanderes, or even straight up villains is such a fun concept. The idea of a yandere liking someone because of their flaws or because of the fact that they are evil isn't really something I see too often either, since most of them tend to be the opposite, where the yandere likes them because of how kind or pure they are, or otherwise their positive traits.

This is also where I plugin my game Perfect Love where your only goal is to get your perfect love. No matter the cost. The main character is a straight up villain and its a very fun time. You can also find more about @perfectlovevn.

[forevfangirlwrites]

I love your how to handle fame series and I totally get if you’re six of writing for this AU but if you aren’t I’d love one with them making the relationship official like Annabeth telling Percy he can post a picture of them for the first time or her telling him she wants to make it official and post on social media and Percy just being happy to tell the world that she’s his and vice versa

CONTINUATION OF: PART 9

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6 , Part 7,  Part 8

If Percy ever decides to pick up the memoir business again, the entire thing could be about the past two days, which have downright been the weirdest, most surreal days of his whole life.

On second thought, maybe he wouldn’t be able to write it because he’s spent all weekend trying to compartmentalize it and it still feels like a blur.

Like one really long day.

And you’d think, given the magnitude of the events that had occurred, he’d remember it better.

CHB had been the first to report the news, courtesy of that lady shoving a mic in his face, but the interview had really sealed the deal. Zoe Nightshade is acclaimed for reporting facts not fiction in the celeb news world, so going on her show to talk about it had been the best way to get the right version of the story out there.

All he remembers about the set are the hot lights, the white couch (that he was immediately worried about ruining) and Annabeth by his side, holding his hand.

Overall, it had been good. The entire thing had been premeditated by Annabeth, who had started off the interview explaining how they wanted to go public on their own terms instead of someone else leaking it, but that they still wished to keep their personal lives private.

Percy had also kept to his premeditated script, saying he’s a barista from New York, and shifting the dialogue (as Annabeth called it) to their meeting.

After the interview Annabeth had given him a big hug and told him it was a success.

But then…..oh then, came The Notifications™.

As if he didn’t already spend too much time on his phone, he’s been glued to it all weekend.

“It’s going to be rough,” Annabeth had said with the same worried face that she had when the talk about going public had come up a month ago.

And Percy knows, right, he’s been in the service industry and knows how people can be jerks. He knows there’s going to be backlash.

Maybe that’s why Annabeth had rented a beach house far down the coast and been by his side constantly the past two days.

He glances over at her, leaning back on her comfy wicker chair with her feet propped, reading a book. As if she can tell he’s looking at her, she puts down her book and turns to face him.

“What’s up?’

Her long legs look golden in the sunlight filtering through the light curtains and she’s practically glowing with the beach air wafting through the open window.

Long story short, she looks beautiful.

Focusing his brain from the detour it took to admire her, he shakes his head.

“Nothing…just wondering how I got here.”

She picks up her cup of tea from the table beside her. “What do you mean?”

Leaning back against the headboard of the bed, he stares at the high planked ceiling.

“I don’t know…just everything. I mean for one, I’ve never seen so many pictures of myself…even my mom’s albums would have a tough time competing…actually, they might still win now that I think about it.”

Annabeth chuckles at that. And while it’s true his mom has an absurd amount of pictures, him and Annabeth have been plastered a fair amount on various articles and social media. He’d kept his Instagram private, but his Twitter hadn’t stopped blowing up.

“And I’ve never had this many people talk or…speculate about me.” He drops his gaze from the ceiling to once again land on her. “Like, it’s the most hate I’ve ever gotten…”

The inevitable comments on him being a gold digger, though expected, had been hard to see. It stung a little to think people thought he was anything other than hopelessly in love with his girlfriend.

But no one had been more pissed than Annabeth and it had taken kisses from him to distract her.

He sees the same anger and worry start to flare up now, her eyebrows already creasing together, and rushes to complete his thought.

“But it’s also the most support I’d gotten.”

Luckily, an overwhelming majority of Annabeth’s fans had been super supportive of them. One picture in particular, one of them standing at the red carpet staring into each other’s eyes, had gone viral and “Percabeth” (as people were dubbing them) had been number one on trending for a whole day.

So many people not only calling them cute, but also describing him as hot. Percy had almost laughed out loud when he’d first read comments gushing about how attractive he was. (Take that, Nancy Bobofit, who called him ugly in middle school.)

“It’s just really crazy I guess, I never expected this from my life.”

He really should write a memoir. Other people need to know how almost comically absurd his life is now. (It would start with riding the subway to school every day.)

Annabeth sits up in her chair, still wearing the frown from earlier.

“Do you regret it?”

She asks calmly enough, but he can see the worry behind her eyes and the fear creep into her tone. He slides off the bed and walks to her, sitting on the footstool she’d been propping her feet on a second ago.

“Not at all.”

Reaching for her hand, he raises it to her lips, keeping eye contact. She needs to know that he’d take it all if it means he gets to be with her.

The day after the interview, Annabeth had told him to pick out a picture of them to post on her Instagram. And though it had immediately become her most liked picture, it wasn’t just fan service. The smile on her face when she posted it had made Percy’s heart melt even more.

Because the truth is, despite everything, it feels so good to call her his in front of the whole world.

Annabeth smiles, pulling their intertwined hands close to her and resting her cheek against them.

“Good.”

His phone vibrates and he can’t help but look over. Annabeth smiles, amusedly. “Who is it?”

He reaches for the device, unlocking it with a swipe. “My mom.”

“What’s she saying?”

He smiles as he reads the text. “That her friends are blowing up about this.”

Annabeth chuckles. “Don’t worry, it’ll blow over soon.”

Almost automatically, he opens up Twitter. It’s become a bad habit over the past two days.  “Well, we have been trending for a while…”

His sentence veers off as he checks the trending tab. Number one this morning had been a kpop star whose birthday was today and “Percabeth” had been second.

But now number one was…Jogan Paul, who had apparently been caught in some money laundering scheme and become the center of all public outrage. Number two was still the kpop star and number three was #ultranatural.

“Percabeth” was nowhere to be found.

“You’re right…we’re not trending anymore, some other guy, Jogan did a—”

“Money laundering scheme?” Annabeth finishes and he looks up from his phone to see her smile over her tea.

“Yeah…everyone’s talking about him….and then it’s a k—”

“Kpop idol? Yeah, it’s P-Dawn’s birthday,” Annabeth finishes again.

Percy stares at her.

Annabeth, after posting the Instagram photo, hadn’t checked her phone almost all weekend, letting him look at everything going on.

So how could she know all this? He’s pretty sure she hasn’t checked her phone in hours, instead working her way though her book.

“Yeah…” he continues, still confused. “So we’re not trending anymore. This Jogan guy really messed stuff up…”

Annabeth shrugs, still smiling. “That’s how it goes, people move on from things quickly.”

He nods. He knows this. And personally he’s glad that they’re not the main topic of conversation now. It feels like a weight has been lifted off his shoulders. He puts down his phone with a smile.

“Yeah, it’s fortunate that this guy messed up, really took the eyes off of us.”

Of course, not all the eyes. Annabeth’s fans will still talk about it, but now the media has something juicer to report on.

“Yeah, fortunate,” Annabeth repeats, lifting her cup again to take a sip, but she can’t hide her smile.

Something about this feels…

“Did you know about this?”

Annabeth just takes a sip of her tea.

Peering over the cup, she replies sweetly, “Did you know the season finale of Ultranatural is on tonight?”

And that’s all the answer he needs.

(So he naturally responds by picking her up and tossing her in bed, letting her laughs bounce off the high ceilings as he wraps her in a hug, thinking that there needs to be a whole chapter in his memoir about just how smart his girlfriend is.)

A/N: As I said in the beginning, this is the continuation to the last chapter in the how to handle fame series. Thank you for sending in the prompt! It’s been a popular one and I had a whole storyline for it (though I did include the insta pic :)

When I came up with this plotline I just couldn’t get the idea out of my head that Annabeth would totally mastermind the entire thing and make sure that their relationship didn’t get too much heat.

Plus, let’s be real, news moves fast, and their relationship, while a big thing, isn’t the only thing going on the world for people to talk about. And stories that spark outrage blow up more than two people dating, so I tried to keep this as realistic as I could.

Part of the reason it’s taken so long for this is because I truly wasn’t sure the best way to tackle this whole thing while still staying true to reality as best I could. So when I thought of the Annabeth planning out this whole thing I thought it was fun and cute and went for it. I mean this entire series has taken off in a way I had truly never imagined.

A lot of people had requested the whole going public thing and how it would play out, so I really hope you guys liked this! (And thank you anon for sending in the prompt I used to post this :)

(Also a lot of references to things that have happened semi-recently so lmk if you’ve figured them out, not that they’re that hard lol)

[bird-in-a-cage]

Cocktober Prompt #3 - Freaky Friday

The plaid walls were a dead giveaway something was wrong. The soft sheets and too many pillows were another. Billy blinked at the ceiling a few times, tried to place where he’d woken up this time. It wasn’t anywhere he recognised. And he hadn’t had more than a beer the night before so couldn’t blame alcohol.

Things just felt, weird. 

Usually when he woke the first thing he craved was a cigarette, to get out of the house as fast as possible, hopefully before Neil was up so he couldn’t be dragged into another one sided lecture about being a model citizen. But this morning he didn’t. His mouth tasted different too. Both toothpaste and mouthwash still lingering around. Not a trace of nicotine.

It was only when he looked at his hands getting out of this strange new bed did the panic set in.

They weren’t his hands. Not by a long shot. Far too slender and femanine almost. No rings. No bruised knuckles. Skin smooth and pale. He tripped over his feet finding a mirror in the closet and just stared wide eyed at what was in front of him. Moved arms and jumped and blinked to check the releflection was real.

The person staring back was Harrington. Every inch of him. Billy pinched this body he was in and it hurt, kicked his shin against the edge of the door hard enough to leave a bright red mark and that hurt too. So this was definitely real. Billy was frozen, looking at himself trapped in another form. Internally he was panicking. Of course he was, he’d just woken up in, presumably, Harrington’s house in his damn body like it was a Halloween costume. Logical thoughts weren’t exactly easy to make happen.

He was 100% certain he wasn’t going to work today though.

Billy ran his hands over his new body, walking his fingers over moles that dotted the skin, across his new stomach and over his hips and chest. Stretched his arms out in front of his new self. Nothing felt as thick as before, but there wasn’t a lot of weight difference. It wasn’t as if Billy felt he’d now be able to jump higher or dance or whatever. He feathered his fingers through his new hair and okay, it was soft. So so soft. Like touching through a cloud even first thing in the morning. No wonder Harrington always looked like he took so much time on it.

There was one other thing he needed to check. Just out of curiosity. Hidden under the boxers on his hips. Billy had seen it before in the showers but this was the literal sense of up close and personal. And if this was all the weirdest fever dream then it wouldn’t matter anyway, he’d wake up at some point and be back to his regular old self. And really, what else do you do when you wake up in someone else’s body? It's practically a step in the body swap handbook.

With a new grin Billy kicked the shorts off and stood naked before the mirror, turning slowly from side to side on the balls of his feet. He knew Harrington was hung but having it attached was something else. For a laugh he spread his feet a little in the shag carpeting and worked his hips, his new cock swinging back and forth like a damn bell. It wasn’t that Steve was bigger, Billy definitely had the girth, Harrington was just longer. And liked to keep his bush trimmed from the looks of it. Least that part made sense. The boy was so meticulous with his look everywhere else. The panic that had been bubbling up inside melted away as Billy moved back to the bed, licked over the new teeth in his mouth, and settled up amongst the pillows.

Let’s see what makes Stevie boy tick…

Billy spat on his palm before taking a hold of his new dick, slowly spreading the slickness up and down. It felt nice to hold, not as good as his own but still, nice. It responded in kind, quickly getting hard with the attention and every drag of foreskin down over the blush pink head and back. Billy hoped this wasn’t a dream anymore, he couldn’t go back to now knowing this was how Harrington felt when he jacked off in bed, how he looked. How he somehow still had space to grow until it was downright not fair. How his thigh muscles got tight when Billy stopped stroking long enough to give the balls some attention. He couldn’t help but grin around a moan that sounded so forgien but Billy would be lying to himself if he didn’t admit he sometimes thought about hearing it. Of course Harrington liked his balls being played with. How very middle class. Every tug and squeeze sent pleasure rocketing through his spine and down to his feet. It quickly became a two handed operation, slipping down the bed until Billy was flat on his back, pumping his fist in earnest over his cock.

Steve was fucking sensative that was for sure. It felt like barely any time at all before Billy was right on the edge, that feeling never changing in theory but Harrington’s felt different. Starting down in his toes and creeping up inch by inch, making Billy’s brain foggy and his mouth slack as the room became engulfed in the sounds of heavy breathing and slickness from both spit and precome that was beading at the slit. Billy only really paused to look down, to watch Harrington’s cock weep and twitch and push out another wet pearl, practically begging for release. To be swallowed. Shit, oh he’d have to convince Harrington to do this again. If he ever got back into his own body. He needed to know what it was like to do this to Steve, now he knew some of his soft points. Places to give the most attention too. Bet the guy would fucking scream getting his balls sucked on.

Three more pumps and Billy came. Hard. it crashed through him like a tidal wave, taking over every inch, rendering everything else in that moment utterly pointless and unimportant. Yeah, he would definitely need to find a way to make Harrington feel that under his regular body. Somehow. Billy panted in the bed, his chest splattered with cum. He licked at a drop that landed near his lips. Steve didn’t taste too different, maybe a little sweeter from all that ice cream.

He had done Harrington a favour and cleaned himself up in the bathroom, which was about the size of Billy’s living room, put pants on, and was busy just looking at Steve’s face staring back in a mirror. Poking and prodding at cheeks, thumbing around the shells of new ears, tonguing over his gums, when the door suddenly popped open. Buckley was stood there, that girl Steve worked with in the mall, looking beyond stressed out and panting, holding onto the doorframe like she’d sprinted all the way across town to get here. It also appeared she’d gotten dressed in the dark. Mismatched shoes, almost comically high waisted jeans and a bright neon sweater that was definitely too big.

“Are you Billy?!” She demanded, cheeks red but eyes on fire. 

Okay well this day just, somehow, got even weirder. 

Billy just blinked at her reflection. Apparently that was enough of a confirmation for her to disappear down the hall and come back not even moments later and toss a shirt at Billy’s head.

“Put that on! We’ve gotta go!”

“Go where?” Billy asked, putting the shirt on as he was dragged out of Harrington’s mansion of a house he didn’t even have time to properly explore yet. There were so many cabinets and cupboards unrifled. He didn’t even have time to think about searching through Mrs Harrington’s jewelry box... 

Parked out haphazardly on the driveway was Billy’s camaro. He froze seeing himself sat in the front seat, hands gripping the wheel so tight they were white. Buckley tugged at Harrington’s arm to get Billy to move but he stayed stock still.

“What the fuck is happening?” Billy demanded. “Talk Buckley or I’m not leaving. How am I in my car?”

Buckley’s eyes darted around. She started biting at her thumb. Even though Billy had only been to Scoops when she was there a couple of times, neither of those things seemed like anything she would do. Billy took a moment to really look at her. Past the weird fashion choices and bird’s nest of hair. Past the no makeup and desperation plastered all over her face.

“Look, I… I kinda fucked up. I can explain everything just, can we do it in the car please?” She spoke in more hushed tones, still tugging at Billy’s arm to get him to move even another step. It wasn’t going to work like that though. Billy needed to know exactly what the hell was happening before he was about to be kidnapped by himself. He glared down at Buckley, or whatever his glare looked like now. Apparently it didn’t do the trick.

“God I look dumb doing that…” she muttered under her breath.

That’s when it all clicked. The penny dropped and shattered through the glass ceiling.

“Holy shit… Harrington?” 

Buckley blushed. It was clear even through the redness already on her face. Steve was stuck as Buckley. Billy was stuck as Harrington. Then by the process of elimination…

Oh shit, this would be fun.

Billy smirked and walked calmly over to his baby, engine still purring, leant down to look at himself sat behind the wheel. Fury was clear over his features, just staring straight ahead at the end of the culdesac and the turning spot to get out of Harrington’s fancy neighbourhood.

“Well, well, well...” Billy started. “The chick has a dick.”

“Get in this fucking car before I kill us all. Dingus is already hanging on by a thread, don’t think I won’t do it,” she spat out through gritted teeth. Apparently she didn’t know how to dress either, clearly just grabbing what had been on Billy’s bedroom floor before probably racing out of that house.

Billy couldn’t exactly blame her on that one.

With a shrug he climbed into the back over the passenger seat, Buckley got in the front, knees pulled tight together, hands not knowing what to do with themselves. The car had barely set off again before Billy couldn’t hold it back any longer.

“Either of you two wanna tell me what the fuck is happening?”

Buckley went to open her mouth, his mouth?, but it was Hargrove that spoke. Practically roared over the sound of the engine working overtime because it was in the wrong gear. It was painful to Billy’s ears.

“This asshole found one of my mom’s spell books and thought oh wouldn’t it be such a fucking great idea to go saying incantations without knowing what the fuck he was doing?! So now I’m stuck as you, Steve is stuck as me and you’re stuck as him until we can get to my aunt’s place in Indy to fix all of this! And once she does I never want to see either of you ever again!”

Billy blinked a few times just trying to process all that information. It sounded weird being said in his voice for a start but, spell books and incantations? God the midwest was full of weird bitches.

“I didn’t mean to. I didn’t think this would happen, did I?” Buckley spat back, peeling away from being pressed up against the door in shame for the first time.

“You didn’t think at all Steven! You never do love spells on a full moon without knowing what you’re doing. God if you weren’t me I’d punch you!”

The grin that grew on Billy’s face was palpable. A love spell huh. Maybe when they were all back in the right bodies that could be something to be worked on. For now they were pulling onto the highway towards Indianapolis, finally in the right gear. Billy just sat back and listened to them bicker like an old married couple. He’d enjoyed being Harrington for a few hours. And if it was true he was stuck like this because maybe Harrington had feelings well, Billy maybe wouldn’t say no to giving that a try too. After this, anything was possible.

[capricornus-rex]

Hey Hon! I know you’re cramped with requests and the “Old Friend, New Family” story so feel free to do this one whenever you’re ready! No rush! ☺️💖 Cal not knowing the reader has arachnophobia so when they go to Kashyyyk and are attacked by a huge, albino Wyyyschokk, she freaks out? To the point where she’s completely out of her wits, panic mode on FULL, and just scared to death? I have arachnophobia so when I had to play Kashyyyk, it was the worst experience of my life ;////3////;

Honestly, those spiders always give me the creeps and make me shudder ;;A;; Also, so very sorry for not publishing so soon! :( But good thing I just brought home my newly-fixed laptop today!! <3 I hope I can make it up to you and everyone with the fics. I’ll try my best to really keep publishing. Don’t worry, I’m not planning on quitting. Why would I? ;3 I’m having a blast with everyone here!!!

“In the Face of Fear” | Cal Kestis x Reader

Summary: Kashyyyk has its own charms and surprises, but what if one of those said surprises rear its ugly, unpleasant head right in front of you in the form of a spider that’s the size of a boulder?

Tags: Arachnophobia, Wyyyschokk, Matriarch Wyyyschokk, Kashyyyk, Arachnophobic! Reader

Also in AO3

Next: Part 2 | Masterlist

1 of ?

You and Cal finish off the last wave of Stormtroopers.

The partisan informants were right about the Imps getting into the forest to find Tarfful’s home village—which also doubles as a hideout for the Wookiees and a handful of partisans now led by Mari Kosan after Saw had left them.

“Good thing they haven’t come close to the hideout itself,” Cal commented.

“No,” you scoffed a chuckle. “They have a lot to go through besides us.”

Beneath your snarky, roguish facade, you clench your fist as you fight off the chill travelling down your spine when you catch the cluster of hatched Wyyyschokk eggs glued to a tree trunk. Cal spotted your grimace, you’re not taking your eyes off of those empty, shattered shells.

 “You sure can’t stop looking at them,”

“I want to, but… Oh, I don’t know,” you shrugged.

“Come on, let’s get away from them. Those hatchlings could be close,”

“Heeeey!!” you whined, he laughed in response. You playfully tackled him from behind as he walked ahead of you.

It was a tedious trek to the hideout village—but that’s its advantage—both Jedi had to cross paths with a few more creatures before getting to any of the watchtowers or huts. You’re just secretly thankful that you haven’t run into any Wyyyschokks yet—most especially the albino, which happens to be the rarest of its kind.

You tread the forest with more caution than care, your eyes pan from tree-to-tree—searching for signs of eggs and webs—and Cal was quiet about noticing your anxiety. He knew you hated it when your phobia is being pointed out in some way, though he figured you’d like to talk about it just to vent it out.

For someone who isn’t familiar with the terrain of Kashyyyk, it can either be mesmerizing or downright frightening. It goes both ways for you. It becomes the latter when you and Cal stumbled upon a wrong turn due to the labyrinthine layout of the forest. Cal realizes his mistake and attempts to solve it.

“Hey, Cal, are you sure you saw a marker in a tree hollow?”

“I think so,” he replied, with the doubt evident in his voice. “Okay, I really think we took a wrong turn.”

BD-1 politely cut in and flashed the holomap, both Jedi navigated with their eyes, occasionally pointing at patches of land and tracking their would-be path.

“I think we cut across this upper level of the forest, there should be—”

You could’ve sworn you heard something shuffle behind your backs. Your abrupt turning unintentionally cut off Cal in the middle of his explaining.

“[Y/N], you okay?”

“Did you hear that?”

A pause. He listened in on the silence.

A simple rustle of the flora simply heightened your senses—mostly propelled by fear—and then the thing that neither of you noticed before has caught your attention.

“[Y/N], honestly, are you alright?”

You didn’t answer, you kept scanning the area and knew completely well that something isn’t sitting right with you.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” you sighed, and stepped forward. “I’m just jumpy, that’s all—”

“[Y/N], BACK AWAY!!!”

Too late! By the time Cal had noticed that you were walking into a literal trap and tried to get you out of it, he was pushed back when the most enormous and most brightly-colored Wyyyschokk both of you have ever seen pounced on you. It had been patiently waiting for either of you to step on its web trap on the ground—and you went right into it. The creature entrapped you with its legs as thick as tree roots, you wriggle helplessly as you couldn’t take your eyes off of its multitude of bulbous, full black eyes, and its mandibles foaming with bile—hungry for flesh—twitch and flick above your bosom.

You let out what ought to be the loudest scream your chords could ever produce; once out of breath, you inhale and exhale rapidly. Your throat goes sore from the shouting that it stings whenever air would enter your windpipe.

The words are dislodged in your throat—you wanted to scream for help but cannot—your voice renders itself absent in your mouth, and only the silence brought upon by the sheer horror of this monster’s overall appearance, and in an uncomfortable closeness with you too.

Cal ran up to it, leapt, and drove his saber into its plump, jiggling hind abdomen. It screeched—a shrill, piercing wail that left a high-pitch noise in the ears—and turned to the offensive against Cal. That was your signal to get up, but the terror had paralyzed you; instead, the entire scuffle with that gigantic Wyyyschokk happened right before your eyes—just like with the eggshells, you cannot look away no matter how much you want to, the longer you look the more materialized your fear becomes. The redhead succeeded in a series of parries to disorient the creature.

“[Y/N], get to the high ground!”

His warning fell on deaf ears. You’re still stuck in staring at the spider, with your back against the wall.

“Bee-beeee, triiiillll!!!”

“I know, BD, I know!”

The little droid warned Cal that you were still frozen stuck in harm’s way, and he needed to think fast to get both of you out of this mess. He cleanly blocked the Wyyyschokk’s incoming wave of attacks, searing its fangs and hairy legs with his lightsaber upon parrying—and while the creature was distracted by its wounds, Cal fished out a flashbomb. He turned his heel to you before the area would be engulfed in bright light in a matter of a split second. He snatched you by the arm, pulled you up, and that woke you from that frozen trance of fear.

“We gotta move!”

The Wyyyschokk thrashed and erratically scampered left and right in search of its prey, you and Cal were making your escape through a pinch in the wall; the enemy tried to catch up but you had already squeezed through the end, its pointed legs jerked as it fitted through the crack, desperately trying to claw either of you just for a scrap of meat.

Life was still flashing before your eyes even after the Wyyyschokk gave up its pursuit. Your heart pounded louder than the Wookiees’ war drums, so much so that your breath cannot keep up with the pulse anymore, and your limbs have returned to its jelly-like state after you crawled your way out of the wall.

He noticed the rapid, sharp breaths that you take. There was also a wetness glossing over the surface of your eyes.

“Are you hurt?”

You couldn’t speak, still shell-shocked by the assault, and slowly shook your head as a response. The tears persist.

“Come on,”

A single touch—gentle and slight—was enough to make you jolt. You were ceaselessly apologetic. For what, exactly? Cal patiently waited for you to calm yourself and eventually helped you. When he thought you were ready, he held out his hand for you.

Slow and steady—Cal took the lead again, and he made sure you were okay along the way. Eventually, you did reach the hideout, but the trauma still hasn’t left your system and you have no idea how to get it out. A partisan was out there to greet you, but the first thing he acknowledges is the horror in your blank stare.

“Is [Y/N] alright?”

“Not really, we just stumbled upon the biggest Wyyyschokk we’ve ever seen,”

“Wait, does this Wyyyschokk happen to have brighter colors than the rest?”

Both Jedi exchanged glances, trying to recall the appearance of the monstrosity, and then the two of you looked at the rebel again; though, it was Cal who did most of the conversing.

“Come to think of it, yeah, it was a bit more vibrant than the others,”

“Oh, well,” the partisan scratched the back of his head, evidently reluctant to break it to you. “I think you guys just met the Matriarch Wyyyschokk.”

Your spine reduced to jelly again, goosebumps pelt your skin as a chill coated your shoulders, your eyes widened so much that they’d almost pop out of your sockets!

“I’m sorry,” you blinked several times, almost comically. “Run that by me again, soldier?”

“The Matriarch Wyyyschokk. Their mother. The mama spider.”

“I know what ‘matriarch’ means! But good gods, those things have a mother?!”

“Well, how do you expect to be so many of them wandering around without one?” the partisan shrugged.

“That’s just spectacular,” you say half-heartedly.

“Just steer clear of its den,”

“Thanks, we’ll remember that!” you whined.

Your hysterics still haven’t died down by the time both of you and Cal waltz through the network of bridges to start a little tour of the village.

[godkilller]

@ujinoko​

how does gin feel about the espada individually and as a collective?

unprompted ask    //    thank you !

          out of character.  Gin knows the Espada, as a whole, were created and enhanced using the Hogyoku under Aizen’s control. SO THE ENTIRE CONCEPT OF THE ESPADA GIVES GIN A SOUR FEELING. The Hogyoku, which houses Rangiku’s stolen soul piece, has given life to these abomnation-esque pawns for Aizen to manipulate and use. It’s yet another violation, in Gin’s eyes, of his lover’s stolen power. No matter these Arrancar’s individuality, their personalities and powers and inclination to humor Gin and / or keep him company and socialize, there’s that underlying knowledge that they were birthed using her.

          Gin views the Espada, therefore, as extensions of Aizen. Subordinates, the same as those Shinigami that did his whims out in the Rukongai; they’re given the illusion of autonomy via Aizen’s casual plucking of their strings, and that’s that. Some are more important than others, either by the ranking on their skins or by their demeanor; Ulquiorra is one of the prized soldiers, despite being ranked Fourth, because Aizen prefers him. Gin, in some ways regrettably and against his best efforts, also tends to prefer the more rational and calm ones that Aizen too treasures. Ulquiorra, Starrk, and Harribel are at the top of Gin’s list... but he diverts this by teasing and pretending to prefer detestable and arrogant ones, like Luppi, and otherwise appear to gravitate towards his facade’s kin.

          Gin doesn’t hide his dislike for Nnoitra, and Barragan is unapproachable to begin with due to his own bitterness in being a subordinate to Aizen’s whims. Not likely to enjoy the company of Aizen’s co-commander, then. Yammy isn’t too approachable either, unless he’s being granted permission to wreck a place or person. Aaroniero creeps Gin out, downright, so he’s never spoken to them when alone. Grimmjow’s a loose cannon and Tousen’s already got him handled, so Gin sees no reason to interact. Zommari’s blind loyalty to Aizen and deep disdain towards Shinigami kind of throws a wrench into things, despite him being such a calm and contemplative Espada in comparison to the rowdier ones. Szayelaporro piqued Gin’s interest only briefly; he wanted to betray Aizen, but his intent was too blatantly obvious and his method of doing such was unfortunately ineffective. Unapproachable, ultimately, due to his knack for experimentation reminding Gin too heavily of Mayuri. Gin misses Nel, but also abhors the fact that she’s turned into a drooling screeching child. Even though she can be endearing and has the right idea in mind by aligning swiftly with Ichigo and company, he has a headache.

          Gin understands Harribel’s creed, but in relating to her openly it’d reveal his sentimentality, his connections, his own belief in sacrifice and love. So Gin avoids her less she seeks him out, and in that case he’ll merely smile and sway and do what he does best, till she likely tires of his games and questions prying into her own psyche ... and she dumps some water on him, or something else comical and dismissive. Starrk is typically napping, and knows that Gin can see into his bond with Lilynette the way a predator picks the weakest link instinctively, and therefore likely doesn’t trust Gin near. It’s been deliberately shown that child-like Arrancar tend to distrust Gin due to the murkiness of his intent. Starrk would pick up on that, and they’d both keep their respective distances. Only fair.

          Ulquiorra is the most interesting to Gin, watching the way he wades through humanity and evolves with that subsequent exposure. Ulquiorra doesn’t grow wary of Gin, he’s curious, he engages on his own. So it’s intriguing for Gin, especially if Ulquiorra ever ventures to ask Gin about the finer mannerisms of human emotion, since we know Gin’s excellent with psychoanalyzing people... it’d present him an opportunity to give a blunt rundown, GIN CAN GET POETIC ABOUT FEELINGS, a love-hate relationship in how he regards them, especially connections and the heart / love, within his canon character poems. So he could very well share these insights with Ulquiorra, with of course the joking add-on of ‘but I don’t have emotions so I wouldn’t know that for sure’ coupled with Gin’s classic grin.

          No matter how friendly Gin gets with these creations, he never gets too close. THEY’RE ALL LOYAL TO AIZEN, in one way or another, and if they’re not loyal to Aizen then they’re generally a loose cannon and too chaotic or stupid to interest Gin in the first place; see Nnoitra. Maybe in another life Gin could find himself caring more for some of the Espada, these unique creations and their individual personalities and powerful abilities. IT’S ALL INTERESTING ENOUGH, but Gin’s time in Las Noches isn’t spent wandering the halls in aimless search of a friend. No, he’s shadowing Aizen’s every move. Sleeping when he sleeps  ( or not )  and eating when he eats. Gin has only a set amount of time to try and kill Aizen before Karakura Town’s attacked and absorbed for the raid upon the Soul King’s palace. He can’t become distracted, he can’t miss his opening. Gin knows Aizen will only offer it once, and then never again.

[captainderyn]

Fictober: Laundry Day

Prompt number: 7. “yes I did, what about it?” 

Fandom: Lord of the Rings Online| LOTRO

Rating: Gen

Warnings/Tags: N/A

(Cross Posted to AO3|CaptainDeryn)

—

Oftentimes Eldarion found Faewryn up to no good. Far more times than that, he found himself up to no good with her. Even more times beyond that did the thought that maybe they were being troublesome cross his mind. The idea of getting in trouble was fleeting at best, nonexistent at others. 

The point being, where he and Faewryn found themselves, mischief was short behind. 

But it was hard to chase mischief when he could not find his partner in crime. In fact, it took several tiring rides between the Circle of Gondor where her parents resided and her frequent haunts before he stumbled across her completely by accident. 

The community laundry area where the tailors and housewives flocked was not Faewryn’s usual place of choice.

Her head of dark blond hair blended in almost entirely with the other members doing the weekend wash, except for the brightly colored summer flowers that were braided through. 

A confused crease tucked between his eyebrows as Eldarion ducked into the courtyard. He squeezed between wash tubs and piles of laundry, ducking underneath dripping blouses hung out to dry. 

Even though he wore practical clothes meant for dirtying and running amuck, a few eyes still widened when they saw him and he waved with a smile to return some rushed greetings. 

Faewryn didn’t notice his arrival. She was elbow deep in a large wash bin, aggressively rubbing soaked fabric up and down a was board. Her sleeves, although pushed up past her elbows, were soaked from the spatter she was causing. Soap bubbles puffed and popped across her skirt. 

“Did your mum put you on chore duty today?” he asked.

When she neither startled or looked up to greet him, he knew something was serious. Not even a smile being thrown his way was downright abnormal. 

“Fae?” he followed up. 

“Mhm,” she acknowledged, eyebrows pressed tight together in more concentration than should be focused on a dirty shirt or dress. “Something like that.” 

He crouched down beside her, looking into the frothing and soapy water. He caught the mass of black fabric first, than the flash of a white tree sewn on. 

“Is that Wulfwryn’s…” he began, only to be cut off by a short, “Yup.” 

He hadn’t noticed until now that the bubbles were staining Faewryn’s pale linen skirt pink where they fizzled out. And that the splashes of water up onto her rolled sleeves was also pink. 

The water within the bucket itself was also horribly, vibrantly pink. He caught a brief glimpse of what should have been the cream of the royal guard uniform--now baby blanket pink--before Faewryn stuffed it back down into the bucket. 

“Can you hand me more soap?” were the only words she graced him with, tilting her head towards the basket next to her. There wasn’t much soap left to be given. 

“Uhm, Fae, did you dye your mum’s uniform pink?” Eldarion made no move towards the soap and Faewryn whipped her head over the glare at him, her grey eyes filled with a murderous, deadly spark. 

Stuffing the fabric deeper into the bin, her sleeves soaking even more, Faewryn said lowly, “Yes, I did. What of it? Soap. Now.” 

Not one to argue with that look in her eyes, Eldarion handed over the last of the soap. But not without a, “First of all, I don’t think that’s going to fix it. Second of all...how?” 

“First of all,” she mimicked, snatching the soap from him and rubbing the uniform against the washboard with more vigor. More soapy bubbles began to overtake the wash bin, creeping up her arms. “I didn’t ask your opinion. Second of all...I might’ve spilled paint.” 

“Paint?” He echoed. “Why were you painting near this?” 

As much amusement as he had at the image of pink laundry water, his dear friend truly did seem flustered and it twisted something in his heart to see her stressed, even over something so comical. So he pushed up his sleeves and dove into the wash bin with her. 

His help seemed to take some of the edge off of her and she snorted. “I wasn’t painting near it. I was painting my lute and accidentally knocked the bowl over. Turns out I hit a lot harder than I realize.” 

“You sent a bowl of paint flying so hard it splattered across the one important article of clothing in your home?” 

Faewryn looked over at him, paused, and gave a sharp nod. “Yes.” 

He couldn’t help but laugh, “You amaze me, Fae. Do your mum and da know?” 

“Amme and atar are out for the day.” she said very matter of factly. “So I was hoping to get this fixed before they even know I’m gone. It does not seem like that’s going to happen.” 

Eldarion pulled the fabric a bit out of the water. The cream fabric was still a pale shade of pink. Maybe not noticeable in the shade, but definitely noticeable in the sunlight. It wouldn’t do the for the esteemed captain of the royal guard.

Even if he was almost certain that Wulfwryn herself would find it absolutely hysterical and would perhaps think of it as an improvement. 

“I think we need to bring this to a real wash-person.” He said. “Or perhaps the one most accustomed with stains of all kinds. I’ll help you find one.” 

Faewryn made a face, “Do you think that will work?” 

“I have no idea.” He admitted, removing his arms from the water and shaking the excess away. “But if it doesn’t work, I’ll remember you kindly and help plan your funeral. Now grab the other side of this.”

Snorting out a laugh, Faewryn rolled her eyes to the sky even as she helped heft the overful wash bin up. “Thanks, so much. You’re so considerate.” 

“Anytime,” Eldarion jested. “You should just be eternally thankful I’m here to get you out of these things.” 

“Or get me into them.” She muttered, throwing a grin and a stuck out tongue his way when he pretended not to hear her. 

Trouble certainly followed them like a loyal hunting dog, but watching Faewryn across from him, cheeks red from exertion and face pulled into an expression of such concentration, Eldarion found he didn’t mind a bit. And he wouldn’t have it any other way. 

[jpstandsforjustpatches]

📰 - I will write a drabble that’s happened in my muse’s past or a memory.

Patches was young but had seen plenty of hardships. Being a rare magical creature in a world where magic wasn’t commonplace led to more than her fair share of demonic accusations. Even more so in the late 1700s when most maladies were still blamed on the supernatural. Particularly harsh winters or poor harvests? Well, they had seen that clown demon around, it was obviously her fault.

Of course, she never did anything to try and dissuade the rumors. Why would she? She never knew anything else. All she knew was that she was a scary monster with sharp claws and sharper teeth. Those claws and teeth were how she managed to scrape by and survive. With no guidance, she raised herself on stolen goods and eavesdropping. It was no way to learn. Through this she learned to speak, to read, all the basics that could have been a great foundation for growth. But she also learned that magic was evil, it was to be feared, anything magical was the work of the devil. Which naturally must have included herself.

She clothed herself in pilfered scraps of fabric cobbled together into clothing. Her favorites were always the ones with patterns on them so she took as many different patterns as she could. It was her literal patchwork clothing that earned her the name “Patches”. A name that quickly grew in notoriety over the years.

Most of her early interactions with other living things tended to be food related. Either she was chased for stealing food, or she was doing the chasing, hunting down her prey. Sometimes the two overlapped. Sometimes, she would be cornered, and the butcher had such large knives. Sometimes they managed to catch her by the tail and tried to kill the evil monster. It was only natural for a cornered monster to defend itself, right?

Patches had learned quickly where to bite to disarm, where to bite to slow something down, and of course, where to bite to kill. The last quickly became her preference. Whenever she just fled, there tended to be people looking for her. When she didn’t leave the person alive? She could move on before anyone came to hunt her down. Plus she had the added benefit of more free food.

So it was that she developed a routine. Patches would find her way to a new town, somewhere she didn’t have a reputation yet. She would hunt and steal whatever food she could. Her favorites were pies cooling on windowsills, but those were a rare treat. Usually it was small animals or whatever morsels she could take from pantries without getting caught. She slept in dark alleyways or up in trees, very much like a feral cat. Eventually, as winter would start to creep up, supplies would run thin and temperatures would drop and she would be forced to grow bolder. Winter was when fresh kills were the best, but also when they were the hardest to find. Unless of course, she hunted prey other than wild animals.

In her early years when she killed it had been more based in self defense, but the self hatred of “evil” magic was deeply rooted. She had known killing to be wrong, but... She was wrong wasn’t she? She was an evil monster. Wrong is what she’s supposed to be doing. She was a monster, a wild beast. Besides, was it wrong of the wolf to kill a deer? Not at all. As she reached her teenage years, it became easier and easier to embrace being the wolf, the monster, the thing they feared in the dark.

When she embraced it, it became so much easier to hunt. Who needed to keep to the shadows to steal just enough to get by? Not her. The drunkard sleeping off too many drinks in the alley? That was an easy way to make off with a week’s worth of food. The wandering merchant, stopped on the side of the road to repair a broken wagon wheel? Nobody knew him, nobody would notice him missing. It could have just been a robbery gone wrong, after all. And if it was food they had been transporting? Even better.

Winters became easier. Patches stopped fearing her own magic as much and learned to utilize it to its full potential, discovering new tricks as she practiced. Shape shifting was the most fun. Nobody ever expected that one.

Eventually, enough of the townsfolk would grow wise to her tricks. Whispered rumors of a demon turned to warnings, everyone had a sighting and knew it to be more than a rumor. It wouldn’t be worth the trouble to remain and she would move on to the next unsuspecting town.

Patches should have known that eventually her reputation would precede her.

---------------------

Magic was a big secret and if anyone found out, they’d be ostracized or worse. It was only natural that those with magic would band together to form communities and look out for each other. Word of some magic clown beast that could pull itself back together after being sliced up? Oh yes, word of Patches made its way to them very quickly. They were ready when she drifted their way.

At face value, the small town looked no different from any other. Why would it? They didn’t want to attract suspicion from outside. When Patches arrived, nothing seemed amiss to her. It was a quaint little community, perhaps more friendly than anything she’d encountered before. The few adults she ran into on the streets didn’t seem to fear her like usual, if anything, they were polite, downright hospitable. It was... Weird. Different.

Patches felt uncomfortable. She didn’t trust it. Nobody had shown her real kindness before, they always wanted something out of it, why would it be any different here?

Her usual hunting tactics weren’t successful there. Everyone seemed to be watching out for each other, nobody was ever alone for long. Why were they so nice to each other? Why were they being nice to her? Sure, nobody was falling over themselves to offer her food, but even the bare minimum of not chasing her away with pitchforks was something she considered a nice action. When she did get caught snitching food, she got scolded, but never chased down. Even the children in town seemed more interested than afraid. Still, she did notice a few suspicious looks, whispers as soon as she was out of earshot. That seemed more normal to her.

When one of the children approached her in the nearby woods, it caught her off guard. The boy was alone, he’d be easy prey. No different from a stumbling fawn who wandered too far from mother. But the way he walked right up to her, no fear in his eyes, just wonder. It was enough to give her pause.

“What do you want? I’m busy.”

“You’re spooky.” Was the boy’s very astute reply, “Momma said to stay away from you cause you’re a monster.”

Patches stared down at him, unsurprised that parents were warning their children against her, even if she hadn’t done anything yet, “Then why are you here?”

“Cause you haven’t done anything bad... And you’re neat.”

Patches was sure that stealing food was something they’d consider bad, but no, she hadn’t done any murders or hurt anyone in the town... Yet, “Neat?”

The boy nodded before looking around to make sure they were alone. Once he was sure he motioned for her to bend down so he could loudly whisper, “Can you do magic too?”

This was the first time Patches had encountered anyone who wasn’t afraid of magic. He wanted to see it? Well... Maybe it wouldn’t hurt. What was a toddler going to do anyway? She straightened her back and tilted her head in thought.

Oh she had the perfect idea! Her cat-like tail twisted around, splitting into a cartoonish mouth with chunky, sharp teeth. Instead of terror, she was met with a delighted shout and clapping. It was nice...

“Can it eat?” He sounded so excited to test this out.

Patches laughed, it was one of the few times she’d ever genuinely felt amusement like that, “Of course it can!”

The boy had already scampered off to pick up leaves even before she’d given him an answer. Why leaves? He returned with fistfuls of them and a hopeful look in his eyes.

Well okay then. Patches’ tail mouth opened wide. Please deposit leaves.

The first fistful of leaves was tossed in and he giggled in excitement as she comically crunched on them. They didn’t taste good, of course, but this was just a game wasn’t it? It was good harmless fun. Maybe.. If she met the right people, people who weren’t afraid of magic, things wouldn’t be so bad. It was a nice thought that warmed her heart.

“Again, again!” The boy hopped up and down, waving the other hand full of leaves around.

This time she danced around him, making it more of a game. If he wanted to feed her tail more leaves, he was going to have to catch it first. He obliged, chasing around her tail with delight. For once, the game of chase was an actual game, she wasn’t afraid of being hurt, unafraid of what happened if she got caught. It felt good to let go and just play for once.

The boy practically threw himself at her tail, the sudden extra weight threw her off balance and sent her tumbling to the ground. She just laughed as she got her reward of more leaves pushed against her tail’s jaws. Okay, okay. She parted the jaws and accepted her leafy fate.

A distant shout interrupted their fun. The boy’s name, she guessed, based on how he reacted.

“Can we play again tomorrow?” He didn’t even hesitate to ask as he scrambled up to brush the dirt and leaves off his clothes.

Patches smiled, this was completely new, but didn’t feel uncomfortable at all, unlike all the adults being so weirdly polite. It didn’t feel forced, it felt genuine, “Yeah.. I’d like that.”

The boy ran off with a wave, leaving Patches alone in the woods yet again. She was still hungry, he’d interrupted her hunting, but for a change, she didn’t mind. They probably scared off any nearby animals with all the ruckus, though. Ah... She realized she’d have to seek food elsewhere now.

---------------------

The next morning, she meandered back to that same area of forest, hoping to see her new friend again. He didn’t show. She waited through the afternoon, ears perked at every young voice shouting and playing in the distance, but still nothing.

Patches started to think she’d been lied to. Just as she was about to give up and leave, a rustling caught her attention followed by a whisper, “Miss spooky clown?”

“It’s.... Patches.” She hesitated to give it, but it was the only name she’d ever really known. Patches crept towards the brush. That sounded like the boy from yesterday. “Miss Patches you gotta run.” The warning was urgent but something sounded off.

She didn’t heed the warning and pulled the brush back. She needed to know more, “What are you talking about?”

There she found the boy, huge tears running down his cheeks, “I told my momma... T-That you weren’t bad and we played and stuff. I- I thought if she knew you were nice that she wouldn’t be so scared.” He sniffled and rubbed his nose on a sleeve, “But she got really mad and said I couldn’t come play with you anymore. And- And there’s people looking for you. I think they wanna make you go away.”

Sure enough, Patches heard voices in the distance. They sounded like that of a hunting party, nothing she hadn’t dealt with before. She wasn’t afraid, she knew she could handle herself. It wasn’t like they could kill her anyway.

“I’m sorry... I- I gotta go. Before momma knows I’m not home.” The boy scampered off and just like that, she was alone again.

The voices drew nearer. They had heard the boy running through the underbrush and followed the sound. A shout rose up as one of them spotted Patches, her loud wardrobe giving her away easily in the greenery, especially when she was just standing there.

Patches locked eyes with them, taking note of her current predicament. Four townsfolk stood there, she recognized them as the ones she saw gossiping about her the most Each of them came armed with a rifle and each had theirs pointed right at her. That would hurt a lot, if they managed to hit her.

If they managed to hit her.

One member of the group spoke up, “We know what you’ve done... The trail of destruction you’ve left behind in every community whose doors you’ve darkened.”

“We’re not going to let you ruin what we’ve built. This is a safe haven. You’re not welcome here.” Another agreed.

Patches frowned. How did these people know what she’d already done? Did someone guess where she’d go next and warn them? She only did what was necessary to survive.

It wasn’t wrong of the wolf to kill a deer... But a wolf hunting sheep or cattle tended to come to a head the same way things had now, angry people with guns.

“I’m just trying to survive...” She took a slow, careful step forward, hands raised placatingly, “I’m-”

A bright glow flashed down the neck of the rifle as one of them pulled the trigger. In an instant, half her vision went black, much like the blood that dribbled from her face. The pain that blossomed in her skull was unlike anything she’d felt before. Sure, she’d been shot, it hurt, but not like this.

Patches fell to her knees, her head was spinning and her vision swam. She could see smooth fragments of white in the dirt among the globs of black ichor. A shaky hand reached out to them, was that..? Were those pieces of her face? Her remaining eye frantically fixed itself on the hunting party, terrified. What did they do to her?

One of the others held up her hand. It glowed with a light Patches had never encountered before. As fire sprung forth, it clicked. Magic. This was magic. Different from her own, but magic nonetheless, and it hurt. The flames burned worse than any candle or campfire she had ever touched.

Patches knew now that she had to leave. She knew how to handle the mundane, the weak. This was a whole new animal and she was so scared. As she turned to run, another shot rang out behind her. It missed, but she could see the faint glow on the tree it struck as she passed by.

A few more shots sounded off behind her as she ran. Though she couldn’t tell anymore if they were trying to hit her or run her off. It had worked regardless. She found herself scared out of her mind, half-blind, and running like a bat out of hell.

The clown didn’t stop until she ended up miles from the town. She slumped against a tree to try and catch her breath. Blood and tears trickled from her respective eye sockets. Her eye hadn’t come back yet. Why hadn’t it come back? It never took this long before. A knot formed in her stomach as realization dawned on her.

Magic.

That town had been full of magic folk. That was why they didn’t attack her immediately. That was why the boy had asked if she was magic too.

That boy.. That child. He had been so young and innocent, he hadn’t feared her. For one brief moment, she had known what it was to just be another person instead of the monster everyone wanted to destroy. But then... That same child had led those others right to her. All his innocence and kindness got her hurt... It took her eye.

The cold bitterness that dwelled within her grew.

The only time she had ever let her guard down and she ended up literally burnt and half blind.

Kindness never led to anything good.

And children? Well clearly they couldn’t be trusted, not even the ones who meant well.

[eabevella]

I read Venom: Dark Origin and I hate it.

It totally erased Eddie Brock's more complex personality, and made him a complete jerk and downright creepy person. The most interesting thing about 90′s Venom is the conflict of them being able to do something bad but also something good. He genuinly cared about the homeless underground people and went through great effort protecting them from coporation; but you can’t deny the fact that he killed several guards the few times he was put in The Vault because that’s a necesarry sacrifise to them, and how he blames Spiderman for his own down-fall, which is a character flaw they shold focus on.

But in Dark Origin, he was re-written into this cowardly manipulative hypocrite who fakes everything and never cares about other people, only their attention, which is simply not true if they payed attention to any of the older Venom story. It’s just “let’s make this villain terrible and unsympathetic” for the sake of making another “psychopath”.

Also, I simply don’t buy that Eddie is manupulative and a creep to women as written in Dark Origin (faking his living address to bring a girl to a shady ally and it’s hinted that he’s going to do something creepy but some thugs interrupt him). In Sinner Takes All and Along Came A Spider, he was protective to Ann but he was never being pushy or intimidating. He plead Ann to be back to him but when Ann understanbly refused because of the symbiote, he simply let her go because he knew he fucked up. Even in The Madness, and let me tell you, that miniseries is downright creepy and has some really uncomfortable scenes (because of other non-symbiote weird alien parasites that literally drives ppl crazy, ugh), but in the end, when the love interest said she doesn’t want to have an “intimate” relationship with Eddie, he accept it and they are still friends and acting normally in the other stories.

Why would Dark Origin completely missed all these and wrote an anti-hero with zero (0) previously well established good and bad character traits? Even the movie Venom, it basically retcon the whole comic background, but it still got Eddie Brock’s essential character: he cares, but he doesn’t think too deep about consequences, and he doesn’t like to admit mistakes.

TL;DR

Dark Origin is terrible retcon of Eddie Brock. Don’t touch it if you like the 90′s canon more.

[howlingmoonrise]

Dear Yuletide Author

Hi! Thanks for signing up for Yuletide despite the hell year it’s been, I hope you have fun with your assignment!

I ramble a lot so everything is below the cut. Obviously you don’t have to follow any of this (though I hope you’ll respect my squicks) but hopefully this will help you out!

general things i like

so much pining. all the pining. pining everywhere plz.

continuing from above, PINING. i mean it. i prefer a thousand times over idiots in love who are having a hard time wrapping their minds around it than an already established relationship.

either gen or romantic is fine! what really does it for me is the development of the relationship, platonic or otherwise. it’s all about the growing intimacy and understanding and character dynamics and interactions and developing trust and finding kinship and growing respect for the other and subconsciously learning to lean on the other over anyone else and--

i love love love enemies-to-reluctant-allies-(to-maybe-friends?)-to-lovers and bickering pairs in general! it’s so much fun and it gives us so many opportunities for character and relationship developments okay i’m a slut for that shit

sticking to the original characterizations and the tone of canon is a definite plus!!!

“missing scenes” and “what if” canon-divergent situations are excellent, as are continuations from where canon left us depending on the fandom! more details on the sections for the respective fandoms i GUESS

casual intimacy is super fun, especially when adapted to the character dynamics. a bickering pair being casually comfortable adds a whole new depth to it, enemy dynamics makes is hilarious since the other half would have zero clue as to how to react, a pair that is already comfortable with each other that they do stuff without communicating is so intimate, mix and match however you like!

fun tropes i enjoy (a bit romance-leaning but if you’re not into that then some of these can probably be adapted): fake dating, accidentally got roped into x and shenanigans of all sorts keep happening, misunderstood confessions, groundhog day au, one or both the characters having stupid levels of denial while technically in a relationship and just not realizing it like What Do You Mean We’re Dating??, that sorta thing.

TROPE SUBVERSION ALL THE WAY!

--

general things i dislike

kidfics. babyfics. next gen fics. pregnancy fics, or even pregnancy discussed in the fic is a major squick of mine. the one exception i make for kidfics is for kids already existent in canon and even then it depends, but no babies or children otherwise please.

future fics/time skips in general, actually. what i enjoy is the relationship development, so huge time skips make me feel like we missed way too much

angst is... mrrmf. it really depends on how it’s done, but usually it feels like it’s angst for the sake of angst instead of giving the fic some actual meat.  as a result of this, i’d pass at least on most content with major character death, sexual abuse, self-harm, gender/sexuality angst, the like. beyond that, feel free to go ahead!

hard AUs are a bit ugh to me. by this i mean AUs that rely heavily on setting, such as high school AUs, harry potter AUs, that sort of thing. i DO however enjoy stuff like soulmate AUs and alternate canon AUs, depending on the concept and on the fandom. more details in their own sections if you enjoy writing those!

i heavily dislike things involving cheating/infidelity, sickfics, and genderbending of any kind is a bit ehhhh for me, as are concepts such as ABO. hard pass on stuff like dysphoria and deep diving into mental illnesses and disorders, too.

script-based or roleplay fic is not really my preferred format, i really enjoy prose instead of nearly all dialogue!

stuff with bigotry in general, racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, etc as well as discussions of it is a pass in general. it’s not a HUGE squick but i’d rather not see it if possible

discussions and thoughts on gender/sexuality. if you’re gonna make them gay/bi/etc, make them gay/bi/etc, no exploration of it added. delving into the psyche of it is a hard pass.

--

if you’re going for nsfw

kinks

moderate sadomasochism, uncommon forms of bondage (plants, stuck with strange substance or in awkward position, the shadows from p&tf as restraints, etc), choking/breathplay, xenophilia and tentacles/alien genitals (shadowplay in p&tf for example), moderate degradation, edging/desperation play, ladies topping and calling the shots, bloodplay/knifeplay, long hair dragging over skin, sharp nails/claws (charlotte la bouff, morticia), lowkey cannibalism imagery and hunger, biting, ladies stepping on body parts with their heels on

squicks

scat, vomit, praise kink, daddy/mommy or baby kink, vore, forced feminization, pet play, wound-fucking, abuse, abo, anything involving pregnancy at all

--

PRINCESS AND THE FROG

i am 100% aware this is a weird-ass pairing but gods, the possibilities. it has so much potential. there are few things i like quite as much as a villain and a good person developing a strange sort of kinship with each other >u> this doesn’t have to mean a romantic development, if it’s not your thing! as i said, for me it’s the building understanding and reluctant respect that i really love, far more than the actual romance.

ideas, ideas, ideas. i’m aware this is a rare relationship to either portray or ask for, so i’m gonna try to give some more concrete-ish ones for you to build up on if you have no clue as to how to approach this. 

we could have canonverse with charlotte dealing with the shadowman in some other, unrelated matter while the main plot is occurring, making him feel somewhat guilty about the whole marriage plot with laurence-turned-naveen. cue introspection, or even an entirely different outcome.

or a post-canon sort of hades&persephone plot (please no actual hades and persephone au though), with charlotte curious despite herself and tempted to listen to a shadow/dead/whatever!dr facilier when she’s the only one that can hear him.

in a continuation from above, OR her being dragged Beneath with him in a freak accident and then charming him into helping her back to the surface/living world (very, veeeeery reluctantly on his part, at least at the start, he might have even be thinking of tricking her but then change his mind when the time comes to do it).

i think dr facilier wouldn’t be sure how to deal with charlotte’s particular brand of personality and good humour, and it’d throw him off his rhythm a lot - that sort of thing is always super fun to write.

soulmate au in canon would work pretty well, but with this pairing? you could even do a FULL AU, keeping only basic stuff like the shadowman thing to her normal bougie self; it’s one of her charms. (and their personalities, of course). stuff like charlotte thinking that she wants one thing (her prince-slash-one-true-love, etc) while keeping getting drawn to him time and time again could work on pretty much any era or setting. vice-versa for him, thinking he wants to be rid of her but coming to realize he’d actually miss her if she were to be gone. OR, charlotte deciding she wants this sullen manipulative bastard and manipulating HIM into taking her out and hanging out with her would be hilarious.

if you wanna do nsfw, i have only one major request: charlotte calling the shots/topping. i think this arrangement would be in character for both of them (dr facilier would prob also enjoy having someone else do all the work lol) considering her go-getter attitude, but keeping in mind his manipulative personality i’d be more comfortable if she had some control over what was happening. ASIDE FROM THAT, d’you know what would be fun? a little darkness, and by that i mean consider dr facilier’s shadow joining in on the fun. shadows would also be an interesting sort of constraint. also i know i said charlotte calling the shots, but she can be constrained by the shadows while being amused by it or being used to it (implying it’s not the first time that they’ve used it in bed play and that it’s therefore negotiated), or charlotte could team up with the shadow to do it to facilier instead. charlotte using her nails and facilier being a bit of a sub/masochist would be excellent!

(actually in general it’d be really fun if there was some complicity between charlotte and facilier’s shadow in general, nsfw or otherwise. the shadow being wrapped around her little finger is an excellent concept, especially if facilier isn’t too fond of her just yet OwO)

--

THE ADDAMS FAMILY

oh boy. let me just begin by saying that this really isn’t my usual kind of pairing, by sheer virtue of them being perfectly happy and established in canon. HOWEVER, they’re goth and they’re odd and they’re kinky and they’re delightful to watch interact (i’m familiar with the movie canon featuring anjelica and raúl and a few (few!) of the comics, so idk about other dynamics) and so they’ve managed to creep their way into my blackened little heart.

THAT BEING SAID, my absolute biggest wish for this fandom would be pre-relationship. i don’t mind if canon is twisted a bit for this, considering that they presumably met and proposed on the very same day, so it’s definitely a bit hard to work with. perhaps some shenanigans with the funeral itself? or gomez has a date/fiancée already and so there’s some juggling of priorities here while he’s absolutely falling over himself in order to continue looking at that gothic vision of a woman? or an old family feud, or them just being downright useless at knowing how to deal with proper romance (on morticia’s side, i’d imagine she’d only grow more stoic and be at a loss of what to say. on gomez’s side, it’s probably his first time being speechless, or he’s not speechless but he’s flirted so much in his life that he doesn’t know what to do with these actual literal feelings, what the hell is this and how does he show he actually means it this time??), or morticia has a long string of dead fiancés black widow-style (i think she and debbie would have gotten along great if given the chance okay), or a soulmate au where they don’t realize it’s each other right away, or morticia amusedly pretends to be dating gomez before they know each other to get him out of a bind, or they’re somehow roped into someone else’s shenanigans and don’t know how to react to each other (my money is on either ophelia or cousin itt putting them in a bind), the sky is the limit!

if you’re more comfortable writing established, however, casual intimacy or smut are the best! give me a moment of respite where they are just comfortable basking in each other’s presence, or when they’re separated for a moment at an event or something and the longing is burning all the way across them until they come back together again (y’know, in the good old way of the script). for smut, morticia being a mostly stoic dom maybe? (though yes, i know she’s very much into being tied up and tortured, i can’t really see her as a normal sub unless it’s really something languid and drawn-out - she doesn’t really read as someone who spends a lot of energy doing things others will do for her). they’re both definitely into pain and bondage too; morticia conflating arousal with hunger would also be really interesting to see (think praying mantis or lady spider who is actually very invested on not taking off her partner’s head, but who dreams of it all the same. gomez is, of course, very much into it). something lowkey macabre would be amazing.

things i’d like to see for this fandom in general are:

morticia being her stoic vampiric goddess of a self

gomez being completely twitterpatted for her as usual

burning sultry glares/staring across the room

overly passionate hand-kissing

creepy/gothic atmosphere

you know, like canon. (with non-existent or minimal kid existence, though)

references to horror stuff/general creepiness like sudden lightning, casual poisonings and dealings with death, dracula references, etc, like the movies would be super fun, as campy as possible! half the greatness of the movies come from these imho

--

MONSTROUS REGIMENT

i have a confession to make: it’s been a while since i last read it, and so i fear i won’t be as helpful in giving ideas/dynamics for this fandom as i was in the others. 

i have one request - apart from what i’ve already rambled on about above - and that is for at least polly to be portrayed as female (or close enough, although not quite non-binary). to make it clearer: i usually see them both as female, even if not female-presenting (it’s funny because as i was writing this i actually kept writing about maladict as “he” so frankly it’s whatever, i definitely prefer “maladict” to “maladicta” at least in terms of names though) but chaffing to fit the roles that “female” comes along with, especially with maladict and the expectations for female vampires. i’d rather the fic not have gender or sexuality exploration, since like i said above i think it detracts from the meat of the stuff - if you want to see maladict as male, write him male with male pronouns (keeping the female vampire backstory if you’re keeping it canon, otherwise it wouldn’t really make sense). if you want to make her female, write her female with female pronouns. i’d pass on they/them pronouns though. i don’t particularly care either way outside of polly however, just don’t delve into the psyche/introspection of it please.

if you have different views on their genders and it would make you uncomfortable to write female polly or non-they/them maladict, then that’s fine with me as well! these are just my preferences, and i thought i’d elaborate on them since the fandom has many perspectives on this topic. 

with that out of the way, on to more interesting stuff!

what’s good: their interactions. oh dear loki, their interactions. they have my favourite dynamic in the whole book, and they’re weirdly comfortable with each other (especially since polly lowkey threatens maladict after kicking the other dude in the nads, in my view that moment probably got his undead little heart skipping a beat (do vampires have beating hearts on discworld? i haven’t read enough discworld to remember this)) and they understand each other the best out of the rest of the squad. maladict teasing polly and pretending to be cool before polly catches on to him is absolutely hilarious, and i absolutely love maladict trying (and failing!! horribly!!) at being smooth. also polly blackmailing people left and right is absolutely fantastic.

as you can probably guess, i’d love some canon-verse interactions. perhaps alternate scenes or what-ifs of canon events, or even extra scenes during the ongoing plot of the book. OR, post-book, once they have their own squad of little lads and have to figure out how the hell to handle that, or shenanigans where they have some sort of mission or official event elsewhere and resolutely stick together because “if i have to deal with this then so do you”. or some hilarity with maladict desperately going after every coffee grain available so he doesn’t just bury his face on polly’s neck because she smells so good but that would be an awkward conversation to have and he’d rather die (again) than admit to that. 

what else? AUs! feel free to completely tear apart the canon discworld, though i’d request polly remain her ass-kicking clever self and maladict an awkward vampire. maybe maladict has to deal with diaphanous underwired nightgowns. maybe polly has to deal with diaphanous underwired nightgowns. vampire politics? satirical awkward dracula au? maladict failing horribly at being a vampire (failing at being a female vampire or trying to pass at being a male vampire and failing at that, too)? they’re all great! 

what matters to me is their banter and the way they keep falling into pace with each other, regardless of the way they begin. a good dose of sardonical pratchett-style humour would also be welcome ;)

--

thank you so much for staying with me this far! i hope you have a grand time this yuletide, and that you enjoy your own requested fic as well!

[justiceleaque]

Just came back from my local CB store for my weekly run and this woman with her young son and daughter reprimanded her girl because she wanted to buy comics too. She said, "it's not for you". You backwards-ass fuckers, let little girls read comics, it's 2017 for fuck's sake.

i liked comics ever since i was a kid. my uncle would drive me to the nearest convenience store because my neighborhood didn’t have any comic book places and i’d spend solid minutes searching their lackluster comics section trying to find something that sparked my interest. i wasn’t specifically reading just DC or Marvel comics, i would grab stories about superheroes one day, fairies and witches the next, unending quizzes and riddles the other. i liked the shapes and the colors and the speech bubbles and the fact the letters were always capitalized for some unexplained but cool reason. it’s why i started reading actual books from a very young age, and how i picked up drawing so religiously. i still remember the exact picture that helped me learn how to draw shoes

when i was around 12, i had a friend my age (let’s call her katie), this girl who wasn’t going to the same school i did, but because she was living in my neighborhood, me, her and a bunch of other kids were constantly out every afternoon to play until sundown, so we were close. i had only three hobbies at that age: creating superhero battles with my dolls, readings my comic books and magazines, and playing outside and getting dirty because i was certain i could turn a local soil dumping ground into an actual water park (i got the neighborhood kids, including this guy five years older than me, to actually believe in my project and help). katie, i had noticed, was pretty much interested in the same things i was, but every time i’d bring my comics with me and offer her an issue, she’d shut me down fast. at first i thought she didn’t like reading/prefered to actually play (or help me become a genius, self-made multi-billionaire at the ripe age of 12), and that was okay so i didn’t pressure her, but i quickly found out she was not allowed to read comics

when one of my birthdays creeped around and everyone and their mother got invited (literally, they were all young kids, their mothers had to be there), katie’s mother got a tour of the house including my brother and i’s shared bedroom. i remember her making a backhanded comment about how my brother seemed to read a lot, and when my mother said, “oh no, that bookcase’s actually my daughter’s, she’s driving her uncle broke with all her comics”, that lady just… lost it in the most comically dramatic way. something about how it’s ridiculous for me, a girl, to read comics about angry men fighting each other, about how these activities are for boys and not ladies, and maybe if i had more dolls to play with, i wouldn’t be like this. now, my natural response at my current age is, “chill the fuck out you spoiled nutmeg”, but back then, i remember just getting… surprised, offended, ashamed, sad. scared my mom would listen to her and take away my comics or not allow me to read any new ones ever again. then i looked at katie and realized she had to live with that spoiled nutmeg 24/7. is that why she was downright terrified of my comics?

the whole thing didn’t have a happy ending. Spoiled Nutmeg & Co. left the party after a while, then the years passed, we grew apart, i moved houses at some point, we lost contact, my water park business was completely ruined because the same company that dumped all that soil just took it away like the self-entitled little fuckers they were. two years ago, through some weird and questionable means and circumstances, katie got in contact with me again. through it all and after i mentioned something about batman (imagine? me? sneaking batman into every conversation?), she asked me if i still read as much as i used to. i managed my best impression of, “no, i don’t have an entire blog dedicated to superheroes”, and told her that i’m still into comics. after she explained to me she’s been actively avoiding any kind of comic book material because of her childhood days being filled with every relative repeating that kind of stuff is only meant for boys, i convinced her to try some DC stuff out. and she did. i also gave her some fun facts about the comic world she appreciated. leaque― spoiled nutmeg: 1-0. fuck you, ma’am

this isn’t the first time i’ve seen this sort of gatekeeping caused by hilariously wrong societal views and “rules”, but it’s the one closest to me because i experienced it so actively. i experienced it from my family too when it came to other aspects of that long-winded “some games are meant for boys and not girls” rhetoric that resulted in me trying out things much later in life (ie video games), but they were never assholes about my books. the amount of girls with similar experiences to katie is a much larger number than some of you may realize. it’s insane to think about, but this gatekeeping culture, ranging from family to your local asshole who wants to protect his little boys’ club, exists. it simply exists. this bandwagon of ridiculousness has to stop at some point

[natuolicityfan]

Felicity Smoak (Emily Bett Rickards) started out as most women do in the comic book world – as a side story. Oliver Queen (Stephen Amell) was the egotistical yet charming womanizer, a familiar superhero type. Felicity was the rambling computer nerd who was drawn to his mystery and cause. Their first meeting consisted of him chucking a bullet-ridden laptop on her desk before blaming a latte spill for the damage. The pair’s relationship would go on in that vein for a while: Oliver coming to her for help with his secret vigilante side job and Felicity using her STEM background to unknowingly put away some of the city’s worst criminals. Eventually, Felicity clued into Oliver’s double life and chose to join him and his partner, John Diggle (David Ramsey), in their quest to protect Starling City.

But over the seasons, Felicity morphed into something more than just Oliver’s techie sidekick – a played-out cliché in the superhero verse. The series molded her into a fully rounded character, one with agency and abilities that didn’t come courtesy of a cape.

The show that began as a bro-laden ode to everything a comic book TV series should be – fast cars, bulked up men, action, violence, and vigilantism – ended up giving us one of the most complex, realistic, and role-model worthy female superheroes on the small screen, and they didn’t have to dress her up in spandex to do it.

In the early days, Arrow placed Felicity on a kind of pedestal. While the show’s hero could reliably be found brooding in his knockoff Batcave over having to kill bad men, Felicity was his antithesis, a woman with brains and a bubbly personality. She infused humor and wit into the show but also seemed to sport a moral compass that never wavered. While Oliver and Diggle fueled the action, battling villains, infiltrating criminal networks, and littering Starling City with green arrows, Felicity stayed behind the scenes, guiding them by hacking into secure servers, breaching firewalls, and dismantling bombs.

Yet even early on she served as the show’s way of flipping the “geek gets girl” trope on its gender-confined head but more importantly, she was a female character of worth, one slowly developing her own story that didn’t solely hinge on being the love interest of the man saving the world. Though she nursed an affection for Oliver, she was refreshingly unconcerned with catering to him, often challenging him to abandon his black and white view of the dangerous criminals he pursued. And over the course of five seasons, Felicity helped Oliver, Diggle, and the team of vigilantes they would come to work with take down kingpins, mobsters, cyber terrorists, serial killers, super soldiers, and the League of Assassins, and she did it all without a hood or a mask.

For a series that began after the world discovered it loved watching billionaire playboys dress up in spandex to fight crime – thanks Batman, Iron Man, The Green Hornet – the decision to devote entire episodes and season-long storylines to the development of a supporting female character that was meant to last for just one season — Rickards has gone on the record, sharing that she initially auditioned for just one episode, but fan response kept getting her episode call backs — said a lot about the show and its commitment to an audience that didn’t originate from the comic book fandom.

Arrow was the CW’s way to draw in an older male crowd. The network’s bread and butter up until the show’s premiere had been teen romance and vampire drama. They wanted to age with their audience and widen their fan base and nothing does that quite like comic book heroes. The show’s second season midseason finale boasted the CW’s largest male viewership in the 18-34 age demographic, but despite drawing in legions of male DC fans, but the network’s demographics haven’t changed all that much: It’s still catering to a large female base. With the addition of fellow comic book fare like The Flashand Supergirl, the network discovered that the superhero genre had pull with young women too. That means we get to see more of Amell’s washboard abs on display as he climbs the salmon ladder, but we’re also getting characters like Felicity that might not have existed otherwise. A Jewish computer geek isn’t the traditional love interest, let alone superhero, but fan response to the character and her arc over the first three seasons meant Felicity slowly creeped into the spotlight.

In the season three installment “The Secret Origin of Felicity Smoak,” the show dedicated an entire episode to her back story. Raised by a single mom who worked as a cocktail waitress in Vegas, Felicity overcame setbacks and circumstance to go to college, graduate from MIT and work in a field dominated by men. She was reckless and impulsive, had a criminal for a father, and blamed herself for her ex-boyfriend’s supposed suicide.

The episode took what had been a hollow caricature of what a strong female lead should look like and made her deserving of the title. It gave her dimension and purpose: Felicity wasn’t relentlessly optimistic because her archetype was “bubbly blonde comedic relief;” she was hopeful because she had been through devastating situations and emerged better and wiser for them. After three seasons of watching Oliver struggle to accept his own flaws and responsibilities, to finally get a glimpse of the woman who offered him her unwavering support was a welcome change.

In seasons four and five, Arrow chose to expand the character further, having her face trial after trial while pursuing a romantic relationship with Oliver. Sure, that romance often hindered the storytelling — it also caused a legion of male fans to spew hate on the internet (there’s an actual “F*ck Felicity” forum on Reddit if you’d like to check it out) — but it did provide an opportunity for Felicity to gain more agency over her own storyline.

In the past two seasons, Felicity has been paralyzed, broken up with her fiancé, experienced great loss when her boyfriend was murdered, and failed to stop a nuclear bomb from exploding. None of these plotlines were handled particularly well — in fact, the way the writers chose to “solve” Felicity’s handicap in season four was downright offensive — but let’s pause for a moment to appreciate the fact that though Felicity suffered a major setback by being paralyzed, she still held onto her wit and enthusiasm for helping others; though she lost the love of her life, she still decided to stand by him, help him recreate a new Team Arrow and take down the man responsible for torturing him.

The show’s fifth season marks a return to what made Arrow great the first time around. New players have been introduced, a promising villain has caused problems for our hero, and romantic triangles aren’t sucking the life from otherwise intriguing premises. For her part, Felicity has morphed from the cheerful, dependable girl-next-door she was introduced as in season one to a woman hellbent on revenge, making questionable decisions to protect the people she cares about, and using her own talents to bring down the bad guys. In a way, she’s become what Oliver began as.

For some, this change in character might chafe. The comic books fans who want to see more of Oliver kicking ass and taking names see the amount of screen time devoted to a female character’s development as unnecessary. For them, Felicity pulls focus from the hero – it’s inconceivable that she might just be one — and if she isn’t fulfilling her role of being the beautiful blonde with a sassy mouth and short skirt, she’s unnecessary to the story. They don’t want the promise of more romantic entanglements, they want action For that other subset, the Olicity shippers, seeing Felicity go down such a dark path sparks fear. The chance for Felicity and Oliver to reconcile and resume their relationship is still very much alive and the farther Felicity strays from the woman we met in season one, the more distant that particular fantasy becomes – underground bunkers aside.But it’s not romance or her skewed morality that’s the problem, it’s the idea that Felicity can only be one of two things: a love interest or a prop. In both cases, she only has value because of her relationship to a male character, Oliver. Instead, what the show is trying to do, what it’s been doing since the beginning, is giving us a layered character, a complex woman who can be right and wrong, lovable at times and easy to hate at others, filled with the desire to do good but doomed by the probability she’ll end up making the wrong decisions in order to accomplish her goal.In that way, Felicity has become the most realistic (and relatable) superhero on the show. She’s not infused with metahuman abilities like Barry Allen (Grant Gustin) on The Flash. She doesn’t come from another planet like Kara Danvers (Melissa Benoist) on Supergirl, or drive a time machine like the team on Legends of Tomorrow. She can’t fight particularly well, shoot arrows worth a damn, or crawl through the streets at night in a cloaked get-up complete with an alter-ego, but she’s better for her perceived lack of powers.As we’re treated to more and more comic book superheroes on the big and small screen, diversity matters, and not just in terms of race, gender, and sexual orientation of characters but in the value they bring to the table. Watching someone like the Green Arrow battle evil in the world with a team of supernaturally gifted friends, an arsenal of cool gadgets, and highly stylized martial arts skills, is fun. Watching Felicity risk and sacrifice for the greater good and those she loves, making a difference using her unique gifts — her wits, her tenacity, and her perseverance — is empowering, inspiring, and real. She’s what a superhero shoud be.

[cinnonym]

Who might I be? Anyway, as your ask is open for prompts: extreme (distinctive) characters.

Well, if that isn’t my favourite person in the whole wide world

It’s not every day you encounter the perfect jawline. So when you do, you don’t let it go again. Which, to sum it up, was how Emmy Lou ended up at the mechatronics workshop.

Her backpack dug painfully into this place right between her ribs, where it hurt the most, the assortment of pens and notebooks an unorganized mess. In her defence, she had thrown everything together in her haste to get up and follow jawline-girl from the tram.

Normally, unfinished drawings didn’t annoy her much – it was inevitable if you insisted on drawing strangers on the tram. A tram, by very definition, both collected and lost people at every station, none of which were in Emmy Lou’s control. Her notebooks were overflowing with half-drawn sketches, their status ranging anywhere from a few lines to full-grown coloured art pieces, depending on both the schedule of her models and her own motivation on that particular day.

The point was, Emmy Lou didn’t care all that much about the people she perpetuated on her pages. They were practice, simple, gratis practice, a means to an end to some day get her access to art school. 

The other day an elderly man had looked over her shoulder and sent her a thumbs-up. „Never give up on your passion,“ he’d said and Emmy Lou still couldn’t decide if she should be discouraged by the hopeless manner he’d said it in, or motivated because he’d gone through the trouble to talk to her at all. Then again, Mary always said she was overthinking too much, so maybe she just ought to be glad to have had a human interaction.

None of which mattered now, Emmy Lou told herself strictly, angling her head backwards to look up at the shabby wall in front of her. A brickstone house, similarly rundown as the cottage Emmy Lou herself lived in these days, covered in malicious looking tendrils of ivy. A rusty sign hung from an iron stick, its colours faded it read „Bill'n'Ben’s, Mechatronics inc“. Beneath the sign was a door with a bell.

Emmy Loud had spent the last five minutes looking at said door. Jawline-girl had vanished behind it, a teasing whip of her ponytail the last thing Emmy Lou had seen from her. It was idiotic, probably, to have come here, on account of a half-finished portrait. It was probably idiotic to have come here, period. Emmy Lou should be at the market, running errands for her mum and younger brothers. Instead she was following a girl to her workplace like a downright creep. On the other hand, now that she had come as far, shouldn’t she at least give the situation a try and ring that bell? What could possibly go wrong?

That, Emmy Lou noticed rather quickly, was exactly the wrong question to ask herself. She had barely finished the thought when the scenarios popped up in her head: jawline-girl could be part of a cult, a group of gangly teenagers just waiting for innocent redheads like Emmy Lou to offer as a sacrifice. Or the mechatronics shop could be a disguise for a laboratory of super-scientists – jawline-girl certainly looked the part – and they would abduct Emmy Lou for their researching purposes as soon as she rang the bell. Or worse, the bell itself could be connected to a bomb, which would inevitably destroy the whole building and everything in it, because evidence had to be annihilated.

Or maybe it wasn’t and instead jawline-girl would open the door and laugh at Emmy Lou. In her mind, Emmy Lou imagined a high-pitched and obnoxious laugh that would destroy the positive image she had of the girl. A sneer that would twist that beautiful jawline into something not at all draw-worthy until Emmy Lou would leave, scarred for life and forever untrusting of human beauty.

Before Emmy Lou could lose herself too much in the twisted corners of her brain – though some of the pictures did make for excellent comic material – she used a trick Mary had once shown her, after one of Emmy Lou’s frequent attacks-of-counterproductive-overthinking, short ACO. She took a deep breath, imagined the oxygen streaming down her pharynx, slowly reaching her tubes first, then her bronchia, alveoli and finally her blood. The only subject Emmy Lou liked more than Arts was Biology, and that was mostly due to her young and over-motivated Arts teacher at school, who had insisted on trying out crazy new methods every week. (Recreating statues had been the worst of them. Emmy Lou hated touching other people.)

Once she had successfully distracted herself with the wonders of breathing and the human organism, Emmy Lou turned back to the door. It didn’t have a window, which was too bad, since Emmy Lou would have loved the minimal advantage of knowing where she was about to go before she went there. As it was, she didn’t have much of a choice but to press the bell and wait.

In the twenty-ish seconds it took Bill or Ben or whoever actually owned the shop to open the door, Emmy Lou had made three half-hearted attempts to run. In fact, the only thing really keeping her from making a dash was that the street the workshop lay in stretched on for at least a mile in each direction, with absolutely no corner, turns or even a house entrance to hide behind. If there was anything more embarrassing than ringing a bell of an unknown shop, it was being caught on her flight. 

Plus, she really wanted to finish her portrait of jawline-girl.Which reminded Emmy Lou of the possibility that it could be jawline-girl herself, who was now slowly turning the knob to answer the door, and the thought was so frightening – because what should Emmy Lou say, „I really like your jawline, please let me draw it?“ - that she almost reconsidered her priorities and made a run for it after all.

But by then, the door had finally swung open and Emmy Lou stood rooted to the spot, clutching the string of her backpack with one hand, the other still awkwardly hovering over the doorbell, as she mustered the person in front of her. 

It wasn’t the girl, which was a good omen (she hoped). It wasn’t an old man either, which was the picture both Ben and Bill had evoked in Emmy Lou’s mind. It was, however, the next best thing: an elderly woman. Jackpot, Emmy Lou thought, because while the woman watched her with apprehension of the kind that made all words vanish from Emmy Lou’s brain, she also seemed rather kind and grandmotherly, which was always a good thing.

Emmy Lou remembered her manners just in time before the woman could open her own mouth and undoubtedly ask what the hell Emmy Lou was doing here. Because a short girl with too-frizzy hair and a backpack bulging with notebooks certainly didn’t make the impression of frequenting a mechatronics workshop. But Emmy Lou smiled her most convincing smile that she had practiced in front of her mirror for months now and said brightly enough to fool even herself: „Excuse me, Madam, I am looking for Mister Bill?“

Which, for some reason Emmy Lou couldn’t quite understand – Bill was one of the owners or had she remembered a wrong name? - drew a hearty laugh from the woman.

„My dear,” she then said, her voice just as hearty, and not at all frail like Emmy Lou would have expected, “Bill died years ago. I just haven’t gotten around to change the sign yet, besides, it looks so handsomely alliterative, don’t you think? My name’s Benedicta, I’m the widow. Whatever business you had with dear Bill, I’m afraid you’ll have to make do with me instead.“

„Oh,“ made Emmy Lou, who felt incredibly dumb and vaguely horrified at the idea of other, worse outcomes of her blunder. What if Benedicta had gotten angry instead of amused, or worse, started to cry. What if Bill had died yesterday instead of years ago? She could have put her finger right into a fresh wound and hurt this kindly lady whom she didn’t even know, for no other reason than her absolute incompetence to let go of a perfect jawline when she encountered it.

Benedicta, apparently mistaking Emmy Lou’s mortification at the near miss for some sort of grief, put out a hand to stroke Emmy Lou’s sleeve briefly. (Emmy Lou barely held her hand in place instead of recoiling from the touch, but only because she was still too dazed to react.) 

„Poor girl, don’t be sad,“ she said, her voice hovering between pity, which Emmy Lou abhorred, and a strange amusement. „He died quite peacefully, in his sleep, whoosh and gone. Besides, nobody is really mourning him, he had always been the kind of person who didn’t quite belong on earth, don’t you think?“

Emmy Lou, once again, hesitated. The sheer volubility of the woman overwhelmed her, but at the same time, she felt grateful she didn’t have to do the talking herself. Also, Benedicta was already half-dragging, half-leading her inside, which seemed like a good first step. Now Emmy Lou only had to find jawline-girl and ask her if she minded posing for her, so she could finish her drawing.

But Benedicta, chattering continuously, solved even the next obstacle for Emmy Lou. They had barely passed through a short and narrow hallway, Emmy Lou struggling to fit her bulky backpack through, when Benedicta interrupted her monologue for a second to call out: „Don’t mind us, Tess, tis just a visitor looking for old Bill, isn’t that perfectly amusing?“ And half a minute later, jawline-girl popped her head around a corner, mustered Emmy Lou with the same cool stare she had objected her phone to, back on the tram, and disappeared again.

Emmy Lou almost started after her, drawn to the possibility and once again mesmerized by the stunning perfection of her jawline, but Benedicta’s hand was still on her sleeve, rooting Emmy Lou to her spot at the kitchen table.

„That was my niece, Tessa, she’s living with me. Helping out at the shop too, though Lord knows she isn’t made for the handiwork – no offence, sweetpie!“ The latter being called out in response to the gruff that came from the corner Tessa had vanished behind. 

Benedicta leaned in conspiratorially and winked. „She hates being inept at anything but I’m only telling the truth, you know. People have to learn to live with the truth.“

„I can still hear you,“ Tessa’s voice sounded out, low and melodic though sharp in its irritation, and it was a voice to remember, a voice that demanded attention and praise; a voice befitting that jawline. Once again, Emmy Lou stirred, her artist heart drawing her towards Tessa, towards the artwork. But Benedicta’s grip might as well have been iron for its unwillingness to let her go, and Emmy Lou had no choice but to stay and face the woman’s cheerful smile and airy tone.

„So, what business did you have with dear old Bill?“

Emmy Lou flinched. It seemed ironic, but she had almost forgotten about her excuse to ring the bell, to get into this house which didn’t seem like a workshop at all but more like a really homely kitchen.

„I, uh,“ was what she made as she tried feverishly to come up with an explanation that for one, satisfied Benedicta’s curiosity and on the other hand, could also lead up to a portrait session with Tessa. She came up blank. 

Benedicta was still watching her apprehensively and even from Tessa’s general direction, Emmy Lou picked up a curious sense of expectation, almost as if both women knew she had been playing a ruse thus far and were looking forward to the next act of the play Emmy Lou was performing for them. 

Emmy Lou coloured. Her mind, her wonderfully imaginative mind, that could come up with a thousand and one horror scenarios if need be, that served as live commentator and innate cinema most waking hours of her day, lay now empty and silent before her, unable to concoct a single excuse. 

She sighed.

„I am an artist,“ she said truthfully and at last, before Benedicta could start speaking again, questioning her further, pressing. Her hand, still on Emmy Lou’s arm, felt less comforting now, and a brief image of handcuffs flashed through Emmy Lou’s mind before it went black again. „I’m here because I want to draw - „

„The sign!“ Benedicta interrupted, cheerfully enough to break the heavy atmosphere that had grown in the room. „Of course, that’s why you were mentioning it earlier, Bill had always wanted to repaint the sign. No sense for vintage, the man, that’s what I always said, but you know how they are.“ She nudged Emmy Lou and winked. 

Emmy Lou responded with a weak smile of her own, amazed that yet another problem had been solved by Benedicta’s bubbly personality. Was it lying, she asked herself, if she didn’t correct the wrong assumptions other people made? Was it wrong not to mention that it had been Benedicta, who had been speaking of the sign earlier, that Emmy Lou had never mentioned it once? Was it very despicable not to stop Benedicta in her cheerful rant over how she had paint stored downstairs and how Emmy Lou could start whenever she wanted and “feel free to redesign it completely, dear, I love me some change, besides, it wouldn’t hurt business if a fresh sign attracted some more customers than the current one did.” 

And then she added „Oh, and dear, Tess can help you, she’s decent with colouring, if not at car work,“ and Emmy Lou decided that if she was a despicable being, at least she got what she wanted. Which was more time to study Tessa’s jawline, so she would go with the play for now.

„That sounds awesome,“ she managed to fit in between two of Benedicta’s floods of words, and both of them ignored the complaining „Aunt Bee!“ from the other room.

When the topic turned towards payment, however, even Emmy Lou’s unscrupulousness found an abrupt end.

 „I don’t mind doing it for free,“ she insisted, over and over again, her guts twisting uncomfortably. „Consider it a last gift for poor Bill, a sign in his honour…“

But Benedicta wouldn’t hear of it. „Nonsense,“ she said, her fingers momentarily tightening around Emmy Lou’s wrist with a fierce kindness. „Of course you will be paid, if not in money, at least accept cake and biscuits while you’re working. It’s the least I can do, besides, every girl should have cake and biscuits, I’ve found it lightens the mood so much, don’t you think?“ Emmy Lou couldn’t really argue with that. 

In the end, it was decided that Emmy Lou would start her job tomorrow – now she just had to come up with an excuse for mum, to explain her sudden unavailability for daily chores – and that paint and tools would all be provided by Benedicta whereas Emmy Lou just had to „come and make art“.

And promptly, Emmy Lou was out of the warm kitchen and on the shabby street again, her hand clutching a slip of paper with Benedicta’s phone number - ”In case anything comes up, you know” - her mind struggling to comprehend what had actually just happened. She hadn’t seen Tessa again, but that was okay because starting tomorrow she would see the girl more than enough to finish her sketch. 

And now, Emmy Lou thought, I just have to come up with an idea for that blasted sign I’m supposed to paint and everything will be fine. 

Lying isn’t really lying if you work for it, right? Also, she was adamant to tell herself over and over again; that jawline? It was totally worth it.

[allhailthemightyquattro]

The Pilot

A new series of Doctor Who (finally) so that means a new series of these mini review things (I do proper reviews on another blog but I am only up to The Idiot’s Lantern). So, as always...

The Good Things

Bill. So far so good. She’s funny, smart, inquisitive and compassionate. 

I liked how Bill’s sexuality was treated. She’s gay, we know that, but they didn’t make too much of a point about it. I was worried that it was going to be all “oh look we put a gay character into our show aren’t we awesome” but instead (apart from maybe a little bit at the start) they just treated it as a normal thing to be. Although that is all coming from a straight person’s view so I apologise if I have totally missed the mark on that one.

The overall plot was good. Not too big and flashy as the focus was more on Bill but still interesting enough to make a decent episode.

I totally called the thing that was wrong with the puddle. And it fit well with the emphasis on photographs.

The Doctor had a picture of Susan on his desk.

Bill taking forever to realise that the TARDIS is bigger on the inside was hilarious. 

Bill’s reaction to the Doctor trying to wipe her memories was flawless. I think she will be good for him. And it really highlighted how Clara was the opposite. I’m pretty sure I even detected a few notes of Clara’s unofficial theme in the background music just after Bill said “imagine if someone did this to you”.

Heather’s watery form looked pretty darn amazing. Plus the puddle reminded me of The Secret World of Alex Mack. I loved that show as a kid.

It’s just great to have a decent episode again. Haven’t had one since Face the Raven and that was a year and a half ago.

The Bad Things

A while ago I thought this episode was going to be called A Star in Her Eye and I really wish it had have been. The Pilot is a little bit of a boring title, especially seeing as it is usually used to describe or title the very first episode of a show - the episode that is usually the producers testing it out.

The flashbacks. Most of them were unnecessary. Our memories are not that bad that we won’t remember what happened 10 minutes ago and we are smart enough to make our own connections.

Nardole. He is getting better but he’s still just dead weight with no characterisation other than comic relief.

The fat-shaming. They didn’t just insinuate that people who like chips aren’t beautiful, they downright said it. At first it seemed like Bill didn’t care either way but after all the emphasis on her having a crush on this girl, she immediately crushes on the next one. But hey maybe that’s just part of her character - will hit on anybody who tickles her fancy. A bit like Captain Jack.

The Doctor taking pictures of Bill’s Mum for her was sweet but it was also another example of Moffat’s fetish with stalking. He has romanticised it many times before (Blink, The Doctor the Widow and the Wardrobe, The Rings of Akhaten) and it’s starting to really creep me out.

They cut most of the “What’s a Dalek” scene. I liked that scene.

Things I am undecided on

The Vault. This seems like the story arc for the season and it may look fine now but I know better than to let Moffat lull me into a false sense of security. The confession dial from last season didn’t seem too bad at first but it lead to the worst season finale of the new series... and probably the Classic series too.

Same thing goes for whatever the puddle was. I have a feeling we haven’t seen the last of it and while I liked it in this episode, I’m not sure if they could pull it off again.

Puddle-Heather repeating everything Bill said was creepy and worked well with the whole reflection thing but I was really worried they were going to try and explain the Midnight Entity. I loved Midnight, it is one of the best episodes of the new series and I don’t want Moffat - or anyone else, for that matter - near it.

The Doctor having a picture of River on his desk. Makes sense, she was his wife.. but I still hate the Doctor/River relationship so I have mixed feelings about that.

So, all in all, a good episode and a promising start to a new companion. I’m hoping Bill will be good for the Doctor and teach him to have a little more compassion, which is something he has lacked for a long time.

[thatsnotcanonpodcasts]

2019 Year Review

So, we come to the end of another calendar year, wow, thank you for all the support and listening to us each week as we look at topics we feel deserve more attention. Now this episode we are doing a year in review and discuss what some of our favourites were, what we felt were some of the highlights and what was just downright funny. So strap in as we look back on a year full of robots, space travel, recycling, and the energetic joy of Katie Bouman, and that is just the start. We also go for a ride looking at the movies and tv series that have made us laugh, cry, scream, and sit in awe throughout the year. We discuss the controversy of crazy violence and insanity in movies such as Rambo – Last Blood. Yep some one has claimed it is… Nope you will need to listen in to know what is happening. Also we look at the year in games and take stock of what has happened. We laugh at some of it, get annoyed at some, and shake our heads in bewilderment at others. We recap what has been some of the most exciting and stand out moments for us this year in terms of topics. We also include some special shout outs, remembrances, birthdays, and events for the end of the year. So as the year draws to a close and the dawn of a new one creeps over the horizon we once more ask you to take care of yourselves, look out for each other, and stay hydrated.

2019 in Science - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2019_in_science

2019 in Movies, TV & Anime

- https://www.empireonline.com/movies/features/biggest-movie-news-2019/

- https://www.empireonline.com/movies/features/best-movies-2019/

- https://www.empireonline.com/movies/features/best-tv-2019/

2019 in Gaming - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2019_in_video_gaming

Other topics discussed

Kirigami Robots

- https://www.inverse.com/article/61662-self-folding-kirigami-robots

Boston Dynamics

- https://www.bostondynamics.com/

New Horizons (interplanetary space probe that was launched as a part of NASA's New Frontiers program.)

- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_Horizons

SpaceX Dragon (reusable cargo spacecraft developed by SpaceX, an American private space transportation company.)

- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/SpaceX_Dragon

Making breathable Oxygen using comets

- https://www.caltech.edu/about/news/comet-inspires-chemistry-making-breathable-oxygen-mars

E-Scooters are not green enough

- https://phys.org/news/2019-08-e-scooters-green-options.html

Textile Recycling

- https://www.abc.net.au/news/science/2019-06-15/textile-recycling-fashion-old-clothes-waste/11197904

Black Hole image makes history

- https://www.nasa.gov/mission_pages/chandra/news/black-hole-image-makes-history

- https://www.bbc.com/news/science-environment-47873592

Katie Bouman: American computer scientist working in the field of computer imagery. She led the development of an algorithm for imaging black holes and was a member of the Event Horizon Telescope team that captured the first image of a black hole

- https://www.bbc.com/news/science-environment-47891902

- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Katie_Bouman

Nobel prize in Chemistry 2019: Lithium Ion Battery

- https://www.theguardian.com/science/2019/oct/09/nobel-prize-in-chemistry-awarded-for-work-on-lithium-ion-batteries

Game of Thrones (American fantasy drama television series created by David Benioff and D. B. Weiss for HBO.)

- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Game_of_Thrones

Infinity Saga (The Infinity Saga is a saga of films made up of the first twenty three films of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, encompassing Phase One, Phase Two and Phase Three. The saga began with Iron Man and concluded with Spider-Man: Far From Home.)

- https://marvelcinematicuniverse.fandom.com/wiki/Infinity_Saga

Steven Universe (American animated television series created by Rebecca Sugar for Cartoon Network.)

- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steven_Universe

Mr. Robot (American drama thriller television series created by Sam Esmail for USA Network.)

- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mr._Robot

The Boys (American superhero web television series based on the comic book of the same name by Garth Ennis and Darick Robertson.)

- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Boys_(2019_TV_series)

Watchmen (American superhero drama television series that continues the 1987 DC Comics series Watchmen, created by Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons.)

- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Watchmen_(TV_series)

Ghostbusters: Afterlife (internationally known as Ghostbusters: Legacy) is an upcoming American fantasy comedy film directed by Jason Reitman and written by Reitman and Gil Kenan.

- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ghostbusters:_Afterlife

Charlie’s Angels (2019 American action comedy film written and directed by Elizabeth Banks from a story by Evan Spiliotopoulos and David Auburn.)

- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charlie%27s_Angels_(2019_film)

Joker (2019 American psychological thriller film directed and produced by Todd Phillips, who co-wrote the screenplay with Scott Silver.)

- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joker_(2019_film)

Rambo: Last Blood (2019 American action film directed by Adrian Grunberg.)

- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rambo:_Last_Blood

Controversy surrounding Rambo: Last Blood

- https://www.thedailybeast.com/sylvester-stallones-rambo-last-blood-is-a-trumpian-anti-mexican-nightmare

Terry Gilliam and his take on Marvel movies

- https://www.indiewire.com/2019/12/terry-gilliam-marvel-movies-don-quixote-interview-1202197447/

Disney CEO Bob Iger and Martin Scorsese to meet over Marvel comments

- https://www.thewrap.com/bob-iger-martin-scorsese-marvel-meet/

Martin Scorsese: Superhero movies are the same

-  https://comicbook.com/marvel/2019/11/30/the-irishman-martin-scorsese-seen-enough-marvel-superhero-movies-same-thing-over-and-over/

James Dean now in CGI

- https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/afm-james-dean-reborn-cgi-vietnam-war-action-drama-1252703

Mad Max (1979 Australian dystopian action thriller film directed by George Miller, produced by Byron Kennedy, and starring Mel Gibson as "Mad" Max Rockatansky, Joanne Samuel,Hugh Keays-Byrne, Steve Bisley, Tim Burns, and Roger Ward.)

- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mad_Max

Razorback (1984 Australian natural horror film written by Everett De Roche, based on Peter Brennan's novel, and directed by Russell Mulcahy.)

- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Razorback_(film)

Star Citizen raised $250 USD millions

- https://www.pcgamer.com/au/star-citizen-has-raised-over-dollar250-million/

Blizzard vs Blitzchung

- https://time.com/5702971/blizzard-esports-hearthstone-hong-kong-protests-backlash-blitzchung/

- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blizzard_Entertainment#Hearthstone_ban_and_Hong_Kong_protests

EA : Loot boxes are surprise mechanisms

- https://www.kotaku.com.au/2019/06/ea-our-loot-boxes-are-actually-surprise-mechanics-that-are-quite-ethical/

Xbox Series X (codenamed Project Scarlett) is an upcoming home video game console developed by Microsoft, scheduled for release in late 2020.

- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Xbox_Series_X

iPhone X (smartphone designed, developed, and marketed by Apple Inc.)

- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/IPhone_X

G2A scandal

- https://www.pcgamer.com/how-does-the-games-industry-get-rid-of-g2a-eliminate-game-keys-altogether/

Epic Games Store

- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Epic_Games_Store

Studio Ghibli Theme Park Is Coming In 2022

- https://www.forbes.com/sites/georgekoutsakis/2018/04/25/studio-ghibli-theme-park-is-coming/#7517eeb620c8

Shoutouts

24 Dec 2019 - Alta Sherral "Allee" Willis passed away, She was famous for her collaboration with Earth, Wind & Fire, for whom she co-wrote hit songs such as "September", "Boogie Wonderland", and "In the Stone". She co-composed singles for other artists that became hits include "Neutron Dance" by the Pointer Sisters, "What Have I Done to Deserve This?" by Pet Shop Boys featuring Dusty Springfield, and "I'll Be There for You" by The Rembrandts. "I'll Be There for You" was used as the theme song of the sitcom Friends, and went on to become one of the biggest television theme songs of all time. Willis jokingly referred to this song as "the whitest song I ever wrote”. In 1995 Willis was Emmy-nominated for "I'll Be There for You". She also co-wrote the Tony-nominated and Grammy-winning Broadway musical The Color Purple. As of 2018, a major motion picture based on the musical is in the early stages of development, being produced by Steven Spielberg, Oprah Winfrey,Quincy Jones, and Scott Sanders. She died from cardiac arrest at the age of 72 in Los Angeles, California. - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Allee_Willis

26 Dec 2019 – Shoutout to the firefighters - https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2019/dec/25/australias-east-coast-faces-extreme-heat-as-bushfire-threat-looms-again

Remembrances

In memoriam for the people passed away 2019 - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deaths_in_2019

Famous Birthdays

26 Dec 1937 - John Horton Conway, English mathematician, known for Conway's Game of Life. He is  active in the theory of finite groups,knot theory,number theory,combinatorial game theory and coding theory. He has also made contributions to many branches of recreational mathematics, most notably the invention of the cellular automaton called the Game of Life. He was born in Liverpool - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Horton_Conway

26 Dec 1959 – Kōji Morimoto, Japanese animator and director. Some of his works include being an animator in the Akira film; shorts in Robot Carnival, Short Peace, and The Animatrix; and key animation in anime such as Kiki's Delivery Service, City Hunter, and Fist of the North Star. He is the co-founder of Studio 4°C. He was born in Wakayama - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/K%C5%8Dji_Morimoto

26 Dec 1995 - Zach Mills, American actor. Mills has appeared in multiple film and television productions.In 2011, Zach played "Preston" in J.J. Abrams's Super 8 , as well as "Lucas Morganstern" in the Hub miniseries Clue. He was born Lakewood, Ohio - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zach_Mills

Event of interest

26 Dec 1610 - Hungarian Countess Elizabeth Báthory's crimes and serial murders are uncovered, Count Gyorgy Thurzo makes an investigative visit to Csejthe Castle in Hungary on orders from King Matthias and discovers Countess Elizabeth Bathory directing a torture session of young girls. Bathory was already infamous in the area for her torture and murder of servants and peasants, but her title and high-ranking relatives had, until this point, made her untouchable. Her bloodthirsty activities have led many to cite her as one of the first vampires in history. - https://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/bathorys-torturous-escapades-are-exposed

26 Dec 1846 – The Donner Party is forced to face Cannibalism in the Sierra Nevada Mountains. The first corpse had been turned into a meal. It would be three weeks before any of the Donner Party were found — some of the “Forlorn Hope” walking through the snow had managed to find a Miwok tribe. Those at Truckee Lake would have to wait until early February to be found. Levinah Murphy, living in one of the cabins, heard the calls of the rescue team and answered, “Are you men from California, or do you come from heaven?” - https://www.mapsofworld.com/on-this-day/december-26-1846-the-donner-party-is-forced-to-face-cannibalism-in-the-sierra-nevada-mountains/

Intro

Artist – Goblins from Mars

Song Title – Super Mario - Overworld Theme (GFM Trap Remix)

Song Link - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-GNMe6kF0j0&index=4&list=PLHmTsVREU3Ar1AJWkimkl6Pux3R5PB-QJ

Follow us on

Facebook

- Page - https://www.facebook.com/NerdsAmalgamated/

- Group - https://www.facebook.com/groups/440485136816406/

Twitter - https://twitter.com/NAmalgamated

Spotify - https://open.spotify.com/show/6Nux69rftdBeeEXwD8GXrS

iTunes - https://itunes.apple.com/au/podcast/top-shelf-nerds/id1347661094

RSS - http://www.thatsnotcanonproductions.com/topshelfnerdspodcast?format=rss

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/nerds_amalgamated/

General Enquiries

Email - Nerds.Amalgamated@gmail.com

[musingsofanangryginger]

31 Days of Horror 2017 Round up

Hello and welcome to the fruits of my labour. Below is a list and mini-reviews of each thing I watched during my 31 days of Horror. Some reviews are a bit beefier than others but I hope you enjoy nonetheless.

Day 1: The Invisible Man:

So I decided to start my horror by going old school…very old school, like 50 years before I was born old school. Back the 30’s Universal had a chain of monster movies which by today’s standards might be considered a bit on the tame side but from what’ve seen of that era and this one, this film stands up. So unlike the big-budget remake Hollow Man (come on now it is a remake), there is no transformation scene but instead, we meet our character after the damage has been done and we join him through his journey and his descent into madness which is excellently portrayed by Claude Raines.

Day 2: Shaun of the Dead: 

After telling a few folks at work about watching this as part of my 31 days of Horror they immediately claimed it was horror. I respectfully disagreed, at least I think it was respective. Yes, of course, it falls way more into the comedy genre but it’s very clearly a horror comedy. I can’t imagine that there are folks that have yet to see this film but for the uninitiated, Shaun’s life is going nowhere fast, content to frequent the same pub over and over, stuck in a dead-end job (Pun count 2) his lady kicks him to curb. Turns out you need a good zombie outbreak to give you that motivational boost. Directed by Edgar Wright and penned by Simon Pegg & Wright and what’s delivered a genre comedy which wears its love of that genre on its sleeve. Hilarious, Gory with some emotionally powerful punches throughout. If for some reason you’ve been in a bunker with the Mole Women your excuses are limited as to why you’ve never seen this slice of fried gold.

 Day 3: Gerald’s Game:

 King’s back in a big way thanks to the success of IT and so it seems there appears to be some clambering to get his work adapted, this one such effort being a Netflix offering. Directed by Mike “Oculus” Flanagan we’re treated to minimalist horror which takes place for the most part in a single room with some passionate naughtyness goes tit’s up (Pun machine). This is bolstered by two great performances by Carla Gugino and Bruce Greenwood. Unsettling and just that little bit harrowing this was an enjoyable surprise. I don’t want to elaborate too much on this one as I feel that going in blind is the key. I will say that Mike Flanagan has the uncanny ability to creep me out with violence. What I mean by this, is that I’m so ridiculously desensitised to film gore and violence that media would probably label me and some kind of mental. In 2 of Mike’s films to date, I’ve shuddered and shivered one being this and the other the aforementioned Oculus which is also brilliant. I also completely recommend Hush as well.

Day 4: Red State:

Again another debateable horror. I firmly plant this in the horror genre as it completely uses so many of the tropes. There’s the young high school guys looking to get laid and it going badly. By badly I don’t mean “oops an std and a paternity test” no I mean kidnapped by fanatics and faced with their deaths. Where this is different is that it twists all over the place it hardly gives you time to catch your breath. I loved how Kevin Smith described writing this, he said that each time the plot got familiar he skewed off in a different direction to what would be expected and it shows. Fitting in with the “this is horror” claim by myself there is an extremely unsettling vibe in the first half of the film that is perpetrated by the late great Michael Parks. Good god, his sermon monologue is downright terrifying. Brrrrr. One of Smith’s best films and a genre I think he should revisit….well of course there is Tusk. Ha ha Tusk.

Day 5: Ash Vs The Evil Dead (Episodes 1-3): 

 I had seen the first 2 eps a while back so decided to get some of this watched again. This harkens back to the brilliance of Evil Dead 2 (more on that later). Here the idiotic but pretty capable Ash sets loose the deadites once more to the gratuitously gory delight of fans and newcomers alike.  It’s hard not to love Bruce Campbell, He’s a genuinely charismatic presence. This is a show I desperately need to catch up with and feel there’s no excuse that I haven’t. I’m sorry!

Day 6: The Autopsy of Jane Doe:

It may be creepy to say, it may be weird to say, but I’m in love this film. These days you’d be very hard pressed to come across decent horror films which is sad. It’s a genre that has been limping along since the 70’s. Every once in a while though you get that gem that one in a thousand film that comes along and says “Boo” and you squeal. This is not one of these films. “But Mark” I hear you say “You seem to have bigged this film up” Why you backtracking. Oh contraire readers of mine, this here is the finest examples of the genre in last several years. The point I’m making is that it relies very little on the “Jump scare” formula and instead treats you a murder mystery with Horror along for the ride.

In wake of a horrific crime a body is found with no Id and who has no real ties to the crime that can be ascertained. It’s up to the Coroner and his son uncover why she was there, I will say no more. I felt that going into Gerald’s Game completely blind was the way to go, Jane Doe, I'd recommend a sensory deprivation tank of ignorance before going near this. Don’t even read the back of the dvd/blu ray case or google it. No trailers nothing, just rest in the knowledge that this film is entirely worth it. Creepy and gripping throughout with scares and revelations coming in equal amounts. Trust me when I tell you, you’ll want to know how this wraps up.

Day 7: The Scream Trilogy: 

20 years ago this series of films kicked off (technically 21 but who’s counting…oh wait I appear to be sorry!) 20 years since the immortal “What’s your favourite scary movie” line became engrained in popular culture. The premise was simple a killer who had seen waaaaay too many horror films went a bit of a slaughter. Their knowledge of movie trivia is used against unwilling victims…crap, this person sounds a bit like me. Don’t worry folks I use my trivia for good or at the very most to annoy folks slightly. So with the decline of the horror movie genre or more accurately during its current dip Scream was released in an attempt revitalise the industry and to be fair it did. It spawned 3 sequels (with 4th coming out way later) and a current TV series. Like the killer, this franchise stayed alive longer than it should’ve. While 2 was probably my favourite of the original trilogy, this was due to the fact that I owned it on VHS and watched it constantly and that, of course, Sarah Michelle Gellar was in it (What can I say I had a crush on Buffy), I also really like the first one. 3rd is a bit pants but has its moments, notably Parker Posey playing Gail Weathers is hilarious and Kennedy’s cameo is also great. It’s clear though that quite ironically that by the 3rd this franchise was pretty stale. Doesn’t seem to be able to stop it though!

Day 8: The Void: 

This film is absolutely MENTAL. A clear homage to the body horrors of the 80’s with the clearest being references to Hellraiser I felt, this starts off relatively sane and then skips down Insanity Drive, Crazy Avenue with a brief stop-over in Gross-ville. The films kicks off with a bloody bloke popping out the woods conveniently in front of a Sheriff’s car. The Sheriff takes him along to the local hospital where the weird begins. Cultists stop the folk from leaving and from there; well I won’t say too much more.  I will say right out of the gate that this is most certainly not for everyone, most notably my good lady Evonne. She hated it with the passion of a fiery star. I, on the other hand, enjoyed the unhinged nature, body horror creepy vibe. Give it a bash if you’re looking for some nostalgic originality.

Day 9: Slither: 

Before James Gunn was fanboying the crap out of Guardians of the Galaxy he made a horror comedy called Slither. This stars the always likable and charismatic Nathan Fillion as a small town sheriff having to deal with an alien invasion. Much like The Void, this seems to homage the body horror of old with truly Cronenbergian creatures, but unlike The Void this is flat out hilarious. All characters stretch their comedy legs keeping the laughs coming thick and fast but the stand out character for me is Mayor Jack McCready played by Gregg Henry. His intro as a crass a$$hole (there really is no better way of describing him) is comic gold and each time he’s on screen he kills it. I feel that this is a film that everyone should see once because it’s brilliant. Yes, there is a lack of articulation in that sentence so let me just say, It’s gross, a bit violent but extremely funny.

Day 10: Cannibal The Musical:

I want you to read that title again and know a few things. 1. It is not made up and 2 and one of my favourite things, of which there many, about this film, is that it is based on the True story of Alfred Packer. On their way to seek riches in a Colorado gold mine, a party lead by Packer end up being snacks for the would-be guide. Or so it would appear. I know what you’re thinking, this doesn’t sound funny. What if I was to tell you this was made by the guys responsible for South Park. I first caught this on Channel 4 back in the late 90’s as part of a Troma film season. It played late night and with good reason, within the first few moments, the blood and gore flowed in gratuitous and over the top fashion. Of course, that was nothing compared to when the songs began. Much of this can be considered a blueprint of the tropes that would end up furnishing the long-running and widely popular South Park. Poking fun at almost everything in the genre including but not limited Alfred Packer’s lost love Leighanne, it gleefully bashes all kind of clichés, notably of the musical numbers and horror variety. With musical earworms, you’ll find harder to get out of your head than human flesh out your teeth and many numerous comedic moments this is worth your time… or at the least is certainly worth mine, again!

Day 11: Dawn of the Dead (2004):

Oh man do I remember the uproar when this was announced: “Arrrrgh you can’t remake a classic, rah, rah rah etc.” Of course Hollywood was like “Shut it, ya pr!cks” but no doubt in a less Scottish vernacular. What we were presented with was a remake that paid homage to original but was in its own right also original. First off there is no shuffling but full pelt Zombies tanking it after folks, to the point where this out of shape chubby ginger bloke would be a Zombie entre, and while 28 Days Later may have had the same trope 6 years prior Danny Boyle is adamant the 28 Day’s Later is NOT a zombie film so Kudos to Zack. There is a larger group as opposed to original’s 4 which makes for a better character dynamic and there is care when likable characters go bye bye and catharsis when the bad characters join them. This is fairly relentless from the get-go, takes less than 10 minutes to get to speed and opening scene sets you up for a great movie. Potentially get some flak from DC folks over this but I maintain this is Zack Snyder’s best film. It’s Violent, Gory, Action packed as well as funny and emotional at all the right bits. Enjoy!

Day 12 Curve, Night of the Slasher, Blinky & Breathe: 

On the 12th day of Halloween, my true love gave to me 4 GOLDEN SHORTS. Yes I know I’m off on the song and the lyrics but I just can’t seem to care! So I’ll break these down Short by short without going too much into depth because too much means “why would you watch it?” 

Curve is the story of a girl who wakes up Clinging to a smooth, curved surface high above a sentient abyss. What more do I have to say about this that doesn’t have you intrigued; let’s just say that despite the simplicity, it’s very very tense. 

Night of the Slasher is shot in a single take and follows a young lady looking to violate the code of horror by committing all the sins in order to confront her would be killer. This wears its John Carpenter influences all over its blood-soaked sleeve. 

Blinky is the only Short I’d seen prior. The story a young boy and his robot who “just wants to be your friend”. Only he might be the most stable of friends, pretty sure we all have a fair share of those (if not you're obviously the mental one) I do love this short immensely. Emotional and a bit sad and pretty creepy.

Finally Breathe a very short piece in which a ghost who a young gentleman is enamored with, only appears when he holds his breath. Given how short this is I won’t say too much, but I will say it’s quite effective for the runtime.

Day 13: The Babysitter: 

This dropped on Netflix on the same evening and I thought I’d give it a bash. The film follows your standard nerd, bullied, disliked, my childhood before I became the cool hip awesome bloke you all know and love etc etc. The only person who treats him with a modicum of respect is his hot too good to be true, nerd sympathising Orthodontist....pffft, of course, it’s his Babysitter. On a standard evening of Babysitting our Nerd-do-well spies some truly nefarious dealings which features his favourite babysitter and things go pear-shaped. Hijinks and some pretty gratuitous violence are unleashed. A film that doesn't take itself remotely seriously and quite fun. The only pitfall is the shite acting, but I’m not sure if this is a stylistic choice or laziness. All cards on the table I enjoyed this film, though a bit silly, it was a good laugh.

Day 14: Christine: 

How many folks reading this have films that make you smile, that warm you no matter the genre. The equivalent of a comfort blanket? This is one such blanket for me, This here is one of my favourite Carpenter movies and Stephen King adaptation. This is a childhood classic for me and yes I was no doubt way too young to watch it but I’m so glad I did. This just your age-old typical tale of Boy meets car, boy falls in love with car, car turns out to be sentient and evil. No of course on paper this sounds guff and not too dissimilar to King's disastrous foray into Directing “Maximum Overdrive”, though trust me when I say this isn't that. What sets them apart is the creepy vibe present in Christine which is achieved by the acting talent with particular note of the leads decent into madness. The special effects are awesome and practically done and despite being 34 years old have aged better than me. My favourite of these practically done effects is the Flaming car scene. This still rings out a chorus from me screaming “HOW THE FUCK WAS THIS DONE?” The neighbours are not as appreciative as you might think. The final thread that ties this gem together is John Carpenters score. A cherished childhood memory and a long-standing favourite of mine which is yet to get old.

Day 15: Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension: 

Ahhhh the never-ending gravy train that is the Paranormal Activity franchise. By this point I assume Oren Peli is surprised that this franchise just wont rest, yet it endures. Its a very hit and miss series of films with none really capturing the originality of the first. So far I’ve not liked one of them, which was the third. The latest entry is by no means good, in fact its predictably flawed but there is an inherent difficulty keeping things fresh. This one attempts the whole 3D thing, but to be fair that is probably just an obvious attempt to squeeze that little bit of cash. Thankfully I watched it on Netflix and so I didn't have to deal with the 3D. I did however liked the explanation, in that the 3D was due to a modified camera designed to catch spectral energy. Bit flimsy I know, but better than just ignoring why a found footage series is now 3D. The story is one of those predictable flaws mentioned earlier and is on the generic side. The scares are decent but of course because the film is devoid of score builds up a background noise rumble (if you've seen any of the films, you'll know what I’m talking about) which is that cue that basically is telling you when to be scared. I hate this trope in horror films which is usually marked by the rising music. “Get ready to get scared people, woooooooh” Its false tension. If a horror film is well done it doesn't need to rely on this cheap trick. But I digress. The film was enjoyable, there’s something very gleeful in being able to see the spectral entity that the characters can't. Even if looks a tad mucus-y

Day 16: The Sixth Sense: 

A film, like the original Planet of the Apes, that everyone knows ending of. However if for some reason you’ve never managed to see this gem, I shall remain spoiler free here. So why would you watch this a second time despite knowing how it wraps? Well because it’s a very well put together creep fest and a hell of a debut from M Night Shyamalan. Yes that guy who ruined Avatar the Last Airbender. It's hard to imagine but there was a time that he was held in pretty high critical regard, his first two movies are masterworks and The Village is critically divisive but I believe its one of his most underrated films, that's right I said it, come at me, bro, and by bro I mean the internet! Also in recent years The Visit and the excellent Split has Shyamalan on a pretty clear comeback. But back to his feature debut. For those cave dwellers, the film centres on the relationship between Broken psychologist Malcolm Crowe played by Bruce Willis back when he gave a shit and Cole Sear a troubled child with the darkest of secrets. Malcolm see’s Cole as his redemption case and Cole just wants to be helped and to be rid of his curse. You see Cole is visited by some pretty darned scary spectres and he just wants to not be, which is fair enough. The two leads work very well off each other and feel for both but it the relationship between Cole and his mother that really sell this film, at it’s hear despite all the creepiness you have this Mother/son relationship which is not only believable but filled with emotional heft, I challenge you not get overwhelmed by the scene between the two in the car. Another re-watch point is absolutely fantastic score by James Newton Howard, The scares though generic these days are still quite unsettling but what makes this different from other horrors is the aforementioned emotional depth from all involved. This is a movie I’m happy to revisit.

Day 17: The Final Destination: 

This series is an extreme guilty pleasure for me. There is not much in the way of the story of depth and all follow the same generic formula, Big disaster happens or supposedly happens as standard character get the old bit premonition and stops him/her and bunch of other him’s and her’s from being part of the disaster. However given that they’ve gone and wound up Death and he’s like “NO, I’M NOT HAVING IT, THAT’S JUST NOT ON” the survivors are dispatched in creative, over the top and pretty darned gruesome fashion. This entry sees the main disaster set piece taking place at a Nascar race and after all the carnage takes place, shock, our would be protector warns a group of folks off. The deaths come thick and fast after which. This film is probably the worst of the bunch but was put on due to the relative “brain switch offedness” if afforded. There is a few highlight, the swimming pool scene, and my particular favourite Red neck + Tow Truck but this is very much a meh movie. Marred by the whole 3D inclusion the death scenes look a bit pats and very CG’d but it’s enough to switch off and enjoy.

Day 18: 30 Days of Night: 

Imagine a town where once a year there is a month of no sunrise. Now that might be unsettling in its own right but imagine that vampires discover this place exists! Buffet time and humans are the snacks. The isolation and the threat at the heart of this are simultaneously brutal and subtle. Yeah, there are some pretty spectacular set pieces but the film decides to go down a route where the fight for survival is more central. The build-up is quite slow and creepy with strange occurrences happening before we're introduced the Vampires. Carnage ensues but We spend more time with the survivors to in their claustrophobic hideout feeling just as powerless as them. The vampires are dealt with is suitably terrifying fashion, totally selling the predatory habits and ancient lineage. Very few lines of English dialogue is uttered by them, instead opting for the use of an ancient sounding language. These days in the wake of Twilight, it's hard to think of Vampires as scary creatures, this film harkens back to a time where you know you’d sh!t yourself coming face to face with one these Scary b@stards. You should also check out the source material written by Stephen Niles and drawn by Ben Templesmith. Sorry, Niles but it’s Templesmith's artwork that always draws me back, which is not to say the writing isn't good, but pick it up and you'll know what I mean.

Day 19 Holidays: 

An anthology piece around certain yearly holidays Starting with Valentine's day and culminating in New years. There are some truly dark and fuckked up shorts in this film probably taking the cake for latter is St Patrick's day & Easter. The standouts for me were Fathers Day, Valentine's day and Christmas Day. As with most anthology films there are hits and misses and a couple fall short but all in a decent little bunch if segments, like an evil Chocolate Orange!

Day 20: Fist of Jesus: 

Tonight was Games night and so I introduced my friends to the wonder of Fist of Jesus. Now, this sounds like a very dodgy title but it's not that kind of sacrilegious, it's sacrilegious in a completely different. After Jesus performs the miracle to resurrect Lazarus, things go south in an undeady type of a way. It's then up to Jesus and his bestie Judas to dispatch these strolling corpses...with lots of fish. But don't take my word for it, here are quotes from watchers:

"Made me convert to Christianity"- Archie

“Too tired, for this pish Mark!”-Evonne

“I’m at Church every Sunday now”- Liam

This is definitely worth 15 Minutes of your time!

Day 21 The Blackcoats Daughter (February): 

The danger these days with horror is to make a relentless 90 minute to 2 hour Jump scare fest and therefore make the film ultimately forgettable at its conclusion. The horror films that stick with you are the subtle slow burners that will build atmosphere throughout and only employ the jump scare periodically. You see this with the likes of The Innkeepers and It Only comes at night and in this case with February (Aka The Blackoats Daughter). From the outset, there is already something not entirely quite right and the unsettling undercurrent continues to wash over you until the film's conclusion. Often showing very little and allowing you to imagine the scenario that’s unfolded just out of eyeshot. The premise see’s a couple of young girls left at their boarding school for a winter break due to the parent’s “forgetfulness” to come and collect them in time. There is an age gap between the two ladies with youngest of the 2 going through some unsettling changes. I feel in terms of giving a synopsis that this should be enough. I suggest just going in and watching without much prior knowledge. If you prefer your horror atmospheric and slow-burning then this is the gem for you.

Day 22: The Love Witch: 

This film is stunningly shot and immediately gives you the impression you’re watching 70’s era hammer type film. While not your typical horror, it brings you in with a captivating lead and Rom-Com type of premise. Elaine (Played by Samantha Robinson) just can’t seem to make love stay. More accurately every man she falls for kind of ends up not alive, it’s pretty unlikely. Being a practicing Witch she uses her oh so considerable power and allure to reel in the unfortunate gentlemen until of course, she meets the “right” one. She then does everything she can to get him to love her back. This is a gloriously mental, at points funny kind of horror. There not full on gore for those violence hounds and there isn’t an awful lot to be scared about. It skirts the edge of “horror” very well giving you a unique experience that is likely to linger Not for all and I suspect some folks, particularly the horror aficionados may not rate this quite as highly as I do but I suggest giving it a try, you might be pleasantly surprised.

Day 23: Evil Dead 2:

Oh man, this movie fills me with a genuine sense of giddy glee whenever I think about putting it on or previous viewings that have some pretty happy memories for me. Cheesy as it sounds Movies serve for a lot of my happiest memories, taking my mum to see Marvel films, my girlfriends and I’s first date and the source of many others and my collective entourage viewings where I drag a group of my friends to see the big releases or even the tiny ones. Evil Dead 2 has particular significance in my growing up and memories with my Aunt. A day many years ago, two young folks with horror in their hearts trawled the Jack Kane centre park where a car boot sale was taking place. Through the hubbub a young Mark spots Evil Dead 2 on VHS split seconds before his Aunt Claire does and before she knows it he’s bought it from a guy, who let's be honest, shoulda checked the young Marks Id. Claire's frown slowly fades as realises what our afternoon now entails of...we’re bloody gonna watch Evil Dead 2.

I watched these films in reverse order having been shown Army of Darkness first but this is my favourite given its history. That day, as Claire and I sat in front of her tiny TV and watched this splattering of genres was a day I fondly remember and as a result will get just slightly giddy when I hear the narrator say “Necronomicon Ex Mortis, roughly translated “book of the dead” or when Ash has his maniacal laughing fit, or Henrietta in the fruit cellar or the Iconic “Groovy” and punch the air moment. Each of these moments, as well as the rest of the film, will get me goosbumpy. For those who haven't seen this (and come on if you haven't, have a word with yourself) Ash played by the always brilliant Bruce Campbell takes his lady for a romantic getaway in an isolated cabin in the woods. Of course now one draws a line in the fucking sand and Ash reads the Latin, or the latin sounding words. Either way, it's a dead language (been a while since I punned, was getting the shakes). Anyhoo this awakens something dark in woods and what follows is a blending of some excellently brilliant slapstick comedy and genuine moments of terror. It's a mix that should never work, the serious dark tone of the horror and the outlandish ridiculous humour. But man does it work and work extremely well, there's gore, dismemberment, pratfall, hands with evil intentions and a laughing mounted deer head. It's hard to express praise any higher than I already have for this film. It has a special significance to me which will won't dissipate.

Day 24: Happy Death Day: 

Groundhog Day with stabbing. Oh, you want more than that, gosh needy lot are you not! Tree Gelbman wakes up on her Birthday in a strange blokes room and goes about her standard college (University) type of day. Goes to classes, get's off with folks she's generally not supposed to until, when on the way to a party, she’s brutally dispatched. Well maybe not brutally, as the violence is pretty gosh darned tame. She then wakes up in the same boy’s bedroom...at the start of her Birthday. TIME LOOP YAAAAAAS! This rinses and repeats until the film wraps. This film could've been standard plop if not for a charismatic lead played by Jessica Rothe. She is having an absolute blast and you're along for the ride! This is a lot of fun and made me smile. My only real criticism is the lack of gore being that it's a PG-13 in the states. Now neutered horror can be good, this is a prime example but I feel my bloodlust could've been pandered to  Just a little.

Day 25: Halloween: 

Remember what I said about Evil Dead 2? I mean how could you not, its the largest chunk in this. Well, Halloween is another of those memory makers but don't worry I won't gush...too much. So yeah Black Christmas may have come first but this film is almost predominantly responsible for the slasher Horror subset of the genre, it was in the wake of this that Freddy & Jason came along (more on them later). Michael Myers is the Grandaddy of horror villains and despite treatment in recent years, started his tenure as a bloody terrifying presence. John Carpenter uses his bogeyman sparingly first, building suspense before the inevitable slaughter-fest. He stalks the poor babysitters, with Jamie Lee Curtis center stage. It still stands up because of its subtle build up, creative dispatches of those horny teens and that score. Carpenter’s scores are all pretty much iconic and sound excellent live. If you haven’t, watch this film which I was obviously too young for when I first viewed!

Day 26: Jigsaw: 

Let's get this out the way, the first Saw film is an excellent isolation thriller with a gripping story and engaging characters and with the notable exception of the 2nd film the rest of the franchise is pure shite. The films central core is completely overshadowed in the previous entries by the increasingly elaborate gore creating traps and the convoluted ways the keep using to tie each entry into it's predecessor. None have been as clever as the first. The second comes close but it is ALL downhill from there.

So was Jigsaw any good? Well it's premise is suitably intriguing with Jigsaw murders kicking back off 10 years after the franchise villain John Kramer has gone to the trap creating factory in the sky, or perhaps more likely the ground. There are obvious clues pointing to Kramer's unlikely return but something is not quite right. That is   where the smartness ends as the film find it hard to decide what it's gonna do and therefore the big "reveal" is pretty much "saw it coming". Despite my misgivings, I did enjoy this film but more in an " awwww look it's trying so hard to be as good as the first". If you want to capture that previous macabre magic of the first, strip down the budget, the location and characters and tell what seems like a simple story. I suspect there's a Hollywood exec thinking of doing the complete opposite which is why this film and any subsequent entries will ever be as good as the original.

Day 27: Tucker and Dale Vs Evil:

You know the old horror genre trope of those backward Hillbillies being those to avoid horror films cause you'll be "doomed" if you cross them? Well, prepare to have your prejudices reversed. Tucker & Dale Played by Alan Tudyk and Tyler Labine respectively are off to fix up their summer cabin when these pesky kids start dying all over their property. The film pokes all kinds fun at those standard genre cliches by flipping them on their head and keeps poking fun until the end. It's violent but only in over the top to prove it's commitment to its irreverence. Laugh out load throughout and quite heartwarming at others. This is a particular favourite of mine and I'm glad I included it.

Day 28 Stranger Things Season 2 (Episodes 1-5- at the time but. season complete now): 

So we paced this. I firmly believe that binge-watching is not a good habit to get into. It's so easy to sit for 8/9 hours, or higher, straight and tank a series thanks largely to Netflix's model. The problem is that once it's done in record time...you have nothing for a year. Ordinarily, I prefer to watch 2/3 eps at a time over several days or sometimes weeks. Restraint means better enjoyment, so despite having the whole the season at your fingertips pace yourself. So now my rant is over on to How good was Stranger Things S2...VERY! Before I start gushing I'd like to address the Demogorgon in the room by saying Episode 7 haters gee yerself peace! There was absolutely nothing wrong with the episode and it's placement, Jesus they establish the fact that this will be addressed in the very first episode. It gives some much-enjoyed character development to Eleven and despite claims that it kills the pace I think it gives a needed breather, especially if you are binger. Also, anyone else I've spoken to in person very much enjoyed the episode so there is that. So this season kicks off a year after the events of the first. Will is still having a rough time of it with it being claims of him struggling with PTSD but something more sinister is present. Joyce is dating Samwise Gamgee and Nancy and & Jonathan are pretending they don't love each other and so on. Look the story is great and I could outline plot thread by plot thread but lets put it this way if you want to sit through a compelling nostalgia trip with some of the best ensemble of talented child actors to grace the screen in many years then this is your cuppa tea. There are some pretty great stand out moments, Farrah Fawcett Hairspray anyone? I'm curious to see where the Spielbergian Steven King by a jaunt through Silent Hill goes next and will be like the rest of you. Eagerly anticipating Season 3, which just in case you were in speculative doubt has just been greenlit! Can't wait.

Day 29: Brain Damage:

 Saw this back at Dead by Dawn a few years back, it's certainly a film. I have quite the fondness for this schlocky tongue in cheek affair in which Brian awaken one morning not feeling the best. it turns out that this is because he has a new companion in a smooth-talking symbiotic parasite known as Aylmer. Aylmer's friendship is not free, in exchange for some mind-expanding chemicals that Aylmer excretes, Brian must hep his new friend acquire Brains...human brains to be exact. Not to Brian's credit, he remains fairly oblivious to this for the most part due being trashed out of his gourd.

This film is more comedy than horror but there some pretty gratuitous moments of gore and the films core concept means that there is a whole of lot creative ways to dispatch the brain buffet's and I mean creative. For those who have seen this film, You'll know exactly what scene I'm referring to and those who haven't well go ahead and give it a bash. A great but insane 80's offering.

Day 30: Freddy Vs Jason: 

God this movie is stupid. I mean really stupid. But let's put some of the old bit perspective on this bad boy. Before the MCU, before WB was struggling with the DCEU we had a crossover that horror fanboys were geeking out over as much as I did watching the Avengers: Infinity War trailer. This was the showdown that was eagerly anticipated since Krugers Razor accessorised glove dragged Jason's Mask to depths of hell 10 years prior to the closing seconds of Jason goes to Hell. Was it worth the wait, well probably not but I was still excited to see it, to the point I nearly elbow dropped a boy for spoiling it while I was up a ladder adjusting a Finding Nemo banner. Reckon I'm going to leave that there with no hint of context. As stated the film is stupid but sets it's self up is sort of clever SORT OF. Freddy is in a bit of a funk as now he's all but forgotten due to a plot by local police to hide the truth about the previous murders (yup, that's not made up). The irked Kruger decides he'll dispatch a would be slaughterer for hire and goes about waking Jason up from his rest and sets him loose on the Elm st kids taking credits in a bit of a dick move. When Jason won't come to heel, well that's when the old "Vs" comes into play and the scraps take place in Freddy's dream realm as well as in the real world, and I have to say the set pieces are pretty cool. It's not the best film, hell it's not even a good film but it brainless as the "teenage" fodder in the film and pretty darned enjoyable.

31. Train to Busan: 

And finally, my horror films came to a close for the month with this South Korean cracker. A father escorts his young daughter to Busan by train to see her mum for her birthday. A journey the young girl insists she's capable of going alone, you'll be glad the Father decides not to listen to her as all hell breaks loose when some of those pesky living impaired board the train with a lack of tickets and etiquette of the biting of humans. The rest of the film thunders from one tense set piece to another ensuring the sphincter remains puckered throughout. There is some also very surprising emotional heft throughout and moments that make me test my manly non-crying limits. Director Sang-ho Yeon is definitely one I'll keep an eye out for.

So there you have it. Took me a month to write, next year if I do this I'll be sure to write the reviews as I'm going along. I would appreciate any feedback, comments or discussions you want to have as I require constant validation. This includes suggestions for 2018's 31 Days of Horror. If you have made it this far, thanks and I hope you enjoyed this Macabre Madness.