#but also maybe she tells Emily and asks her to keep her fear secret bc she feels stupid and it's all probably fine

[sideblogforcrimpy-plus]

Been reading a bunch of thrillers recently and what if cm fic with Penny as the main character just experiencing as much of that as my angst adverse heart can take? More on this when my brain allows it

[fairyellieee]

"Flawless"

Fandom: Criminal Minds US TV (2005)

Pairing/s: Aaron Hotchner x fem!reader

Inspired by: Flawless by The Neighbourhood

Trigger Warning/s: criminal minds stuff/talks about the case briefly.

Summary: A secret relationship is very hard to maintain, especially if that person that you're with works with you; also the fact that the both of you work with profilers.

Requested: ok so my fic idea was hotch x reader but reader is rossis daughter and also part of the bau and they’ve been secretly dating for a couple years and the rest of the bau and Rossi find out abt their relationship somehow (exactly how is up to you) maybe the bau went for a night out but hotch said no (bc he wanted to propose to y/n) and they go to this restaurant w a rooftop and maybe they catch hotch proposing to y/n on the rooftop when they go up for post dinner drinks

Maybe it was because of the thrill or maybe it's because they like to feel that they're really smart by fooling a bunch of profilers; either way, keeping their relationship a secret was agreed on.

Being David Rossi's daughter has its pros and cons. First, you have a rich dad which also means you're a little spoiled if I'm gonna be honest. Second, he's very overprotective and the list just goes on and on.

Your dad scares the living daylights out of everyone that you've dated or were in a relationship with. It's like he doesn't even want you to be with someone which is why you kept your relationship with Aaron a secret to your dad.

Yeah, maybe it's a little weird dating your dad's boss and best friend who's twice your age but hey, love is love.

"5 more minutes." Whining out, Aaron just chose to wake you up at 6 in the morning aka too early.

"C'mon Y/n, don't you want to eat breakfast with me? The most amazing or your most amazing boyfriend ever." He said trying to convince you which completely does not work. It only made you more sleepy and snuggle closer to him like a koala.

"Rather not."

Suddenly, he picks you up and puts you over his shoulder, making you squeal and hit his back.

"Put me down! Hotch! No! Put me down!"

"No, I'm not going to let you make us late again. We've been late for almost a week, the team probably suspects something already." Setting you down on the kitchen counter, he kisses your forehead as he starts cooking breakfast.

"I don't think my boss would mind me being late that much." You said giving him your best puppy eyes and a cheeky little smile.

"Well, he would if you were also the reason why he's late. Now get ready before I carry you and drop you in a very cold bathtub." He warned which made you scour into the bathroom in fear.

"All in a day's work of an amazing boyfriend."

Meanwhile, in the bullpen the team was speculating as usual.

"I really think that they're dating. I mean the chemistry is right there!" Morgan argued as JJ gave him a "what're you talking about" look.

"I agree with my chocolate thunder, I really think that they're dating for like a long time but what I don't get is why they're hiding it from us." Penelope whined and pouted a little betrayed on why you wouldn't tell them or her.

"Well, I for one disagree. Yeah, they probably have feelings for each other but they probably haven't even acted on it. Hotch literally needs Rossi's permission first before asking her out because Rossi is very scary and literally overprotective of Y/n." JJ rebutted which made Emily nod.

"Plus, if they were together wouldn't you guys think that they would've already said something?" Emily said as she raised her eyebrows at all of them.

"You wanna bet on it, Em?" Morgan challenged.

"I do, I bet $20 that they like each other but isn't going out yet or haven't confessed to each other. How about you guys?"

"I also bet $20 that they're both already together but is hiding it from us and especially Rossi." Penelope challenged.

"Well, in that case. I bet $20 that they're both together but only Rossi and probably Jack knows." Derek said shrugging.

"That's literally impossible. I bet $20 with the same accusation as Emily. How about you pretty boy, are you gonna bet on it?" JJ asked Spencer.

"No, I don't think it's right to bet on your coworker's love life."

"Bummer."

"What're you guys talking about?" Rossi suddenly asked from the entrance of the bullpen.

"Nothing." They all said at the same time then they dispersed and started "innocently" doing their work.

Then entered Hotch a few minutes later. Late again.

"Hey Hotch. Why're you late, again?" Emily asked curiously.

"Alarm didn't go off."

"Would've thought that your body would've already gotten used to waking up early." Derek commented which made Hotch glare at him.

Also a few minutes later, Y/n enters late as usual.

"I'm so sorry that I'm late, long night. Don't ask, can't explain."

"Wasn't going to, sweet girl."

"Good."

When Y/n finally reached her desk, she found 2 dozens files. Too much. So she thought of a plan.

"Hey Spence, my favourite coworker and genius."

"What is it this time Y/n?" He asked sort of grumpily.

"Well.... I have a bunch of paperwork and I know for a fact that you love paperwork and not only that but I promise to buy you a dozen donuts later at lunch if you help me." You bargained as he came into thought.

"I guess it is a win-win situation. Sure, hand me half of those."

"Thank you thank you thank you."

"Yeah, yeah, just remember the dozen donuts or I'll haunt you." He said scarily? Well, tried to say it scarily.

You handed him the files then he started doing it. With just a few minutes to spare, Spencer was done with his dozen of your files while you haven't even gotten past half of yours. Well, a promise is a promise.

A few minutes before lunch time, you went and asked your coworkers if they'd like something from Spencer's fave bakery so you could buy it too (with Rossi's money ofc). Going up to Hotch's office seems natural but also nerve-wracking, you can't help but think that they might suspect something.

Knocking on the door three times, you heard Hotch say "come in".

"Hey Hotch, I was going out to Spencer's fave bakery and I thought that maybe you'd like something."

"Just one black coffee and some pastry that's not too sweet." He said smiling a little bit.

"Don't blame me if it's a bitter pastry then.* You said half jokingly which made him chuckle and return back from his work.

Walking out of his office you saw your teammates around Morgan's desk probably gossiping. You paid no mind as you went to get everyone something from the bakery.

When you came back at the bullpen, everyone wasn't there. You tried to find them and you saw them at the briefing room. Yikes. You must've missed a message that says there was a case.

"L/n, you're finally back. We have a case, you'll be briefed at the jet." Hotch said in his deep hot unit chief voice. You nodded as everyone including you prepared for the flight.

"Hey Spence, here's your dozen donuts. You should eat before solving stuff." You said as you handed him the box full of chocolate sprinkled donuts.

"Thank N/n." he said a childlike glee appearing on his face.

When you both reached the jet, you also handed your other coworkers orders.

"We're going to Detroit, Michigan. There has been multiple kidnappings of men. They're dumped in a trash can with their penis chopped off and apparently inside the victim's mouth." Hotch explained.

At the end of the day when all of you were at the lobby of the hotel, the unit chief has some semi-bad news.

"We'll have to double up, Rossi's trying to find some sort of suite so he won't be doubling up with us. There has been some mishap with the reservation and they can't do anything about it." He said holding up 3 room keys.

You desperately wanted to room with Hotch but you don't want to make it suspicious but thankfully the team had a plan. They all looked at each other and nodded, you and Hotch didn't notice though.

"I'm rooming with JJ." Emily said as she stood up and Hotch handed her one room key.

"I'll go with pretty boy then." Derek begrudgingly said as Spencer scoffed.

"As if I wanted to room with your loud snoring. It's like living in a bear cave, I think the room moves everytime you sleep." Spencer teasingly said, as he got punched on the arm by Derek.

"Then, that leaves Miss Y/n with Agent Hotchner." JJ teasingly said as you glared at her but Hotch paid no attention to.

"Why does he get "Agent" and I get "Miss", what in the sexist world is this, JJ?" You teasingly said as she just rolls her eyes at you.

"Guess I'm with you bossman."

As you got the keys from your boss, your team has been eyeing the both of you "sneakily". You knew that they were trying to "set" the both of you up, sometimes you wonder if they're really profilers.

When the both of you were in the room, you made sure that none of your teammates followed you; yeah, it was a little paranoid-ish but you can't blame a girl if their coworkers' are really nosey.

"Everything's clear." Hotch said in his very commanding voice, half jokingly I guess.

"Well, since it's just you and me bossman. How about we-"

You were suddenly interrupted by Hotch pulling you close and situating you in his lap.

"I guess we could relax a little bit but I am still your superior-"

"supervisor blah blah blah, whatever. Let's make out."

"What are we 14?"

"Well, you certainly aren't 14. Grandpa." You said as you booped his nose and giggling.

You were suddenly carried and dropped into a really fluffy bed. Well, you like to be manhandled anyways.

"Grandpa, huh? Well, I'll show you who's grandpa." He stated as he looked at you challengingly. The both of you stared at each other until you flipped the two of you, him being the bottom (as he should be).

"Wouldn't want you to have an arthritis, grandpa."

"That does it little girl!" You were suddenly laughing your ass off as your boss/boyfriend tickled you.

All of a sudden, in your peripheral vision, you saw David Rossi aka your dad aka your boyfriend's friend.

"Dad! Oh my gosh! This isn't what it looks like! I swear!" You started explaining as you climbed off of Hotch's lap or whatever.

"I already know but please for God's sake keep it down and always lock the door."

"Y-you knew?*

"How wouldn't I? You can't keep your hands off of each other and everyone else has probably suspected something."

You were shocked to your core and as you turned to look at Hotch he was just frozen. You waved your hand infront of him and he snapped out of it.

"How long have you known?" Aaron asked.

"Since you were so worried about her not coming to work. I saw your car at her apartment parking." He smirked as you were just shocked again. That was almost a year ago.

"Why didn't you say anything, dad?"

"I wanted to give you the opportunity of saying it to me. Plus, it's fun to watch you try to hide it from a bunch of profilers. You're not as sneaky as you think." He chastised and as he approached you guys at the bed, he pulled a chair from the kitchen and said to Aaron condescendingly: "If you hurt her Aaron Hotchner, I'm a damn good profiler and I know how to dispose a body without anybody knowing."

Hotch nervously chuckled as he replied "i wouldn't even dream of hurting her."

"Now, go sleep children. We're still on a case."

"C'mon bossman, it's a once in a blue moon situation. We solved a case. It's worth celebrating for." Morgan tried to convince Hotch to go with the team and celebrate for solving the case and saving 5 women's lives.

"I have to go home, Morgan. Jack is waiting for me." Hotch said genuinely which made Morgan back off the topic and nodded understandingly.

"Goodbye everybody. Have fun!" Y/n waved goodbye to the team as she exits the office.

"and why aren't you coming, missy?" Prentiss asked Y/n with a raised eyebrow.

"My cat misses me." You said with a little pout as you continued to exit.

You were admiring yourself on the mirror when you suddenly heard a knock on the door. It's probably your boys.

"Coming, just a second!" You said as you rushed to put on your shoes and go to the door.

"Hey jack!" You said as you were suddenly pulled into a hug by said kid.

"Y/n! I'm so so so so so so excited!" He said as he jumped up and down, clearly too energized for his own good.

"Aww, I'm excited too jack-jack." You said as you kneeled down at his level and kissed his cheek. You look up at his father and smiled at him.

"Hey Aaron! Almost didn't see you there." You said jokingly as he pouted.

"We bought you flowers too, give it to her daddy."

"Aye aye boss. It seems as if he's going out with you." Jack's dad said as he rolled his eyes jokingly.

"Awe thanks Jack, you're such a gentleman. Come inside for a minute as I put this in a vase." Stepping aside and letting them in.

You put the flowers into a vase half-full of water and the three of you went out and into the car.

"It's quite a fancy restaurant so Jack be well-behaved, okay?" His father reminded him as the little man nodded in understanding.

As you were going to the restaurant, you can't help but be thankful to have both of these boys in your life.

When you were finally at the restaurant and parked, the three of you entered and you can't help but smile from ear to ear.

"Reservation for Hotchner." Aaron said to the lady at the front desk as she skimmed through the little book and nodded. She signed to a man to lead the three of you to your table.

To your surprise, the man led you to the restaurant's rooftop. It was peaceful and had flowers scattered around a table, it's shaped like heart.

In your shocked state you turned to your boyfriend and see him knelt down on one knee. Jack held your hand as he can't stop squealing.

"Y/n L/n, you have made me the happiest man on earth when you became my girlfriend. I, now, want to ask you to make me even happier by being my future wife and my fiancee. Will you marry me?" You were speechless, your eyes filled with tears (happy tears) as you nodded and replied. "Yes! A million times yes!" He put the ring on your finger as you hugged each other and he lift you up in the air.

You suddenly heard clapping from the rooftop's stairwell, you turned to look and saw the team with a shocked but happy faces. The girls approached you first and hugged the both of you as you were pulled aside to let them fan girl on your ring.

Congratulations were thrown by the team at the both of you but a question still remains. "Who invited them?"

You turned to Aaron and asked. "Did you invite them?"

"No."

"I actually did. They didn't know that Hotch is proposing but when he asked me for my blessing on his proposal I had to invite the team to witness it." Your dad interjected.

"I'm so happy that I get to share this intimate moment with the most important people in my life. I love you all." you said and hug them.

"We knew something was going on but we never thought that he'd be proposing already! Why didn't you tell us sooner!?" Garcia pouted as she gave you a kicked puppy look.

"Well, I didn't also know he was going to propose."

"We wanted to tell you as soon as possible but time flew by so fast. Next thing I knew I had the urge to propose to her." Hotch reasoned with Garcia.

"We're all so happy for you but the food is here." Rossi said.

As you all were seated, you felt so happy that you had your family with you.

"To the future Mr. and Mrs. Hotchner!" Derek toasted as the team and Jack cheered.

[twdmusicboxmystery]

Emily’s Instagram Live

Okay, let’s talk about what Emily said on her live, yesterday. Actually, it was kind of funny. @fangipanilove messaged me about it, but I couldn’t sit down and watch it right away because I was with my niece and nephew. But she said I would probably get all kinds of messages and Asks about it. And almost instantly, the messages started rolling in. ;D Do we know our fandom or what?

Okay, so if you didn’t watch it, you can do so HERE.

During this live, Emily is answering questions. She gets one about if she will be returning to TWD and she says, “Not that I know of, but that would be fun, wouldn’t it? If I got asked, I’d probably do it.” So naturally, that’s causing some concern in our fandom.

(Thanks to @doeroseq​ for this edit.)

I can address this from two different angles: what she says, and how she says it.

What Emily says:

Yes, she seems to say that she won’t be returning anytime soon. But you guys have to remember that TWD actors sign dictionary-sized, iron-clad contracts. They legally CANNOT reveal spoilers. If they were to do it anyway, they would be fired, sues, and likely never work in the industry again. That’s not an exaggeration.

Two examples to illustrate when we’ve seen this in the past.

A. When Lenny James returned for S5, he told a story about how while filming, they wanted to keep his return super-secret. Instead of putting him up at a hotel (because they feared him being seen by spoiler cameras) they had him stay with a local couple who rented out their basement apartment. They didn’t even know who they would be hosting, other than that it was someone who was going to be filming for S5 of the show. 

And to hear Lenny tell it, the way the show drilled into this couple’s that they couldn’t tell ANYBODY the identity of their lodger--no way, no how, or else—bordered on harassment. (Okay, not really, but you get the idea.) When the woman saw Lenny James (she was a local and a fan of the show, so she definitely knew who he was) she’s was like, “Ah, YOU’RE the reason.”

So the point is, when they don’t want something spoiled, they’re very aggressive about it. (Which is why so many of us believe that when spoilers DO come out, they’re leaked by the show itself, but that’s a topic for another day.

B. I use this as an example a lot, but that’s only because it’s a real-life, proven thing we can point to. Remember when between S6 and S7, before we knew for certain who Negan’s victim would be, every single actor who was asked about it said they didn’t know? It was kind of a ridiculous lie since they’d FILMED the scene, but the point is, they looked straight into the eyes of the fans and lied.

And I’m really not hating on them for it. Look, you can be as angry as you want at the actors and writers for lying about things, but the fact is, it’s in their contracts. You could argue it’s not really their fault.

I do believe they’re very careful with their words, planning them whenever possible and going out of their way to not lie if they don’t have to, simply because they’re uncomfortable with it and don’t like lying to fans.

But when they get pinned down and asked directly, they will lie rather than tell spoilers. And we have precedent for that.

So, if Emily really isn’t returning, she’ll say she isn’t returning. If she actually IS returning, she’ll still say she isn’t returning. We’re going to get the same answer either way. Just keep that in mind.

How Emily says it:

Before I actually watched the clip, the way people described it to me, I thought it was a question that really flustered and frustrated her. Again, it was just the way people were describing it to me and I made an assumption before watching for myself.

So, when I did watch, it surprised me how NOT flustered she was. She answered quickly and easily and even smiled when she said it.

That’s really not the norm for Emily. In fact, back in S6, TD got all suspicious because they kept canceling Emily’s TWD panels. Then she did an interview Kate Nash, who has a huge social media following, but isn’t mainstream or affiliated with the show.  (X)

And it wasn’t a formal interview, actually. She just invited Emily to watch episode 6x09 with her live. I don’t think Emily realized Kate knew anything about TD or would ask about it, but she did. Emily got all flustered and very obviously avoided answering questions and tried to redirect Kate’s attention. We all joked that this is why they kept cancelling Emily’s panels: she really has no poker face. (X)

And has she gotten better at answering questions about Beth’s return over the years? Sure! But that still suggests she’s had to get better at lying about it.

So, the instant I watched it, I felt like this was a question she was super-prepared for (maybe it was even planted?) and that’s why she answered it with such serene confidence. She was expecting it and had an answer all prepared.

So then I sat back an started thinking about it, especially the timing of it. And the more I thought, the more suspicious I got.

From what I can tell, it’s less that she said it that’s freaking everyone out and more that she hasn’t said this so directly much, if at all, over the years since Coda. This feels like a direct confirmation, which we haven’t had before.

But guys, they also haven’t said Beth’s name in the last 6 years, either.

I find it highly suspicious that after 10x17 comes out, when her name is mentioned twice and EVERYONE is talking about her and the sister theme (not just our fandom but other TWD fans, too) that suddenly Emily gets this question in a live. Her answer is, unlike what is usual for her, direct, serene, confident, and said with a smile. In it, she directly refutes her return, while simultaneously hinting that “someday she might.”

Yeah, I’m really not buying it.

It actually reminds me of when she was filming the missing scenes in the white cabin back during S5. Spoiler cameras actually caught her—recognized by her yellow polo and blond ponytail—getting out of a white van and going into that cabin. The instant it hit the airwaves (everyone was so glad she was filming bc it meant Beth was alive and not eaten at Terminus—Emily instant jumped on Twitter and tweeted that she was going to the movies with some friends. 

Even the spoiler site who famously hated Beth’s character laughed about what an obvious attempted-misdirect that was. Especially because it came RIGHT after fans started figuring stuff out.

This feels the same to me.

On a slightly different note (but somewhat relevant) it seems that they MIGHT not be releasing 10x18 early. I don’t know for certain, so we’ll just have to wait and see, but I read an article that said that because they released 10x17 a week early, the people who watched it early spoiled it for those that didn’t and half the fan based was pissed off, so they might not release 10x18 early. 

That doesn’t seem like a very good reason, to me. Not that I don’t sympathize with those who don’t want to be spoiled, but they’ve been releasing episodes 2 days early for several years, now, and people who watch early almost always post about it online. 

I’m sure releasing it 7 days early instead of 2 compounded the problem, but they MUST have known that going in. Why pick now to suddenly decide spoilers aren’t a good thing? It seems like a made up reason to me, which means there’s some other reason they are contemplating not releasing the episode early.

I truly have no idea what it is, but my TD brain can’t help but wonder if it’s because SO MANY people are talking about Beth and the possibility of her return in the wake of 10x17. And I’m not suggesting that she’ll return in 10x18 or anything. I’m not at all expecting that. I’m just saying something’s going on there.

So I get why some people might be upset about Emily’s live, but don’t be. We have plenty of precedent for them lying about what’s going to happen in the show, misdirecting when people get too close to the truth, and Emily was just entirely too happy to answer that question, in my opinion. My take on it: tptb are doing damage control. ;D

[bucky-smiles]

Stinging Secrets

A Female teen! reader x Bisexual teen! Emily Prentiss song fic to Strange Love by Halsey 

Warnings: mentions of sex and some actual very lowkey smut, alcohol, and just general stuff you’d hear with Halsey. There’s also some homophobia but that’s bc it’s the 80′s.

Timeskips are underlined and flashbacks are italicized and bold 

This is so long I’m sorry but this is one of my favorite pieces. 

Everyone knew who Emily Prentiss was.

She was the newest high school, foreign wonder that every damn person all of a sudden became infatuated with. You don’t know why, but she had taken a liking to you. On the first day that she walked into class, she took the seat by you in the back corner of the room even though so many other seats had been free.

You didn’t expect her to take you the places she did, after that.

You weren’t one for parties or anything of the sort. You preferred to remain in the background with your books and whatnots by yourself. So when the bombshell from Romania came and sat by you, it was quite the brow raiser. You looked at her, offering a small smile. She did the same. 

Goddamn you didn’t know how badly your year was going to change after that. 

Everybody wants to know If we fucked on the bathroom sink How your hands felt in my hair If we were high on amphetamines

*Timeskip a couple of months*

There’d been a party at someone’s house yesterday.. Damn was it an eventful party. 

A sigh escaped Emily’s red painted lips as your fingers ran down her bare sides. She was there, sitting on the bathroom sink with her clothes discarded in so many different areas. You were in front of her, your state of dress quite similar as you pressed kisses all over her neck and chest, reveling in the sound of the noises escaping her lips. 

You could feel the vast amount of eyes rest on you as you arrived in class the next day. Your eyes were bloodshot from the events of last night and the late hour at which you slept. Emily wasn’t sitting in the back corner, now. She was at a different seat closer to the front, not even bothering to look at you. You held the eye roll in as you shook your head lightly at her actions, going to your normal seat and sitting down, looking at the array of bruises on your arm after you got situated. 

You were in between her legs, now, her legs around your waist and her hands tangled into your locks of hair as she tugged lightly, gasping at the feelings you were causing her. She hadn’t expected what she took to make everything so much more.. Sensual. Everything was heightened. The feelings, the sounds, the looks... This was.. Absolutely out of this world.

After class was over, you were one of the first people out of the room, making a beeline to your locker. There, a couple of guys were waiting, cocky smiles on their faces as they asked the unspoken question, “Did you really go at it with Emily Prentiss?”

You simply scoffed lightly, rolling your eyes as you wriggled past them and to your locker, neither confirming nor denying their question. They got the message and moved on, but you could still hear them talking about how hot girl on girl action was.. You simply rolled your eyes again, they weren’t worth your time. 

And everybody wants to hear How we chainsmoked until three And how you laughed when you said my name And how you gripped my hips so mean

You sat down at lunch, on your own (although that was normal). For the past couple of months, ever since you’d met her, Emily had been sitting next to you. But you knew today would be different. You knew that today she’d probably go somewhere else. It’s not as if it’ll be a problem for her. As stated before, the entire school is infatuated with her. 

You stiffened when a group of people gathered around you, looking at you with curious and cunning smiles, “Is it true? Did you and Prentiss really-”

You cut them off, “I am not telling you shit so you guys can leave. If Em an- Emily and I sat around and did nothing, I wouldn’t tell you.. If Emily and I lay in bed and simply fell asleep complaining about the world, I wouldn’t tell you.. If Emily and I fucked each other’s brains out till 3 in the fucking morning, I wouldn’t tell you.. So do what a smart person would do, and get the fuck away from me.” 

They all got the message, stepping away from you slowly. You hadn’t realized that you’d gotten the attention of everyone in the lunch room. Emily was staring at you with mild shock. You simply got up from your seat, leaving your meal at the table you were sitting at and barging out with quick and angry steps. 

The two of you had managed to move from the bathroom, leaving there quite quickly and going up to one of the rooms. You made sure it was locked before going at it again, removing all the clothes she’d quickly put back on and you doing the same. 

It was maybe after round 2 that the two of you were laying there, sharing a lit cigarette that was hanging in between your fingers. You chuckled quietly as you put the cigarette to her lips, letting her take a long drag before you did the same. Emily let out a quiet chuckle as you crushed the cigarette in the makeshift ashtray at your bedside, “You’re crazy, Y/N..” 

You smirked at her words, breathing the smoke out of your mouth before looking to the woman with a coy smile, “Well you’re insane, Emily..”

Emily laughed, her hand trailing down your side before gripping your hip roughly, “Round 3?” 

You leaned forward, taking her bottom lip in between your teeth and tugging it gently before pulling away, “I don’t think you’re giving me a choice...”

They think I'm insane, they think my lover is strange But I don't have to fucking tell them anything, anything And I'm gonna write it all down, and I'm gonna sing it on stage But I don't have to fucking tell you anything, anything

Emily found you a couple of weeks later outside of the school, scribbling in your notebook. It wasn’t necessarily a poem, or anything, it was kind of just.. A song or something. You didn’t know what to call it, everything kind of just came to you at different times. 

You glanced up when you felt Emily’s presence, immediately scoffing and going back to work as she sat beside you, “You didn’t..”

“No, I didn’t... I wanted- want to considering what you’ve been doing to me.. But I keep my promises.” You kept your eyes on the notebook as you spoke, continuing to write. 

Emily let out a quiet breath of relief, “I’m sorry for that, Y/N.. I just.. People will know if I do stay close to you..” 

You rolled your eyes at her words, “You’re too cautious.. That’s gong to be your downfall in the future.” 

It was Emily’s turn to scoff. She then proceeded to get up and walk away to her new group of friends, all of them welcoming her with open arms. 

It was nearly 3 AM when the two of you felt the urge to pull away from each other. You’d lost track of how many times you’d gone at it. Emily was looking at the ceiling now, conflict in her eyes. 

You looked at her with mild confusion, the small smile on your face dissipating as you shifted closer to her, “What’s wrong, Em? What’s on your mind?”

She sighed quietly, looking down at you with an apologetic stare. You immediately got the message, shaking your head as hurt took on your eyes. You obviously understood why she was doing this. It was only the 80;s for crying out loud, while things were starting to happen for people like you, they weren’t happening fast enough. 

Yet you still shook your head, fighting the tears as you got out of bed, slipping on all of the clothes you’d taken off. You turned around for a moment, looking at Emily who still had that stupid apologetic look on her face, “I’m sorry, Y/N.” 

You rolled your eyes, “Fuck you, Emily Prentiss..” It was really stupid of you to say that, truly, considering you already did.

That's the beauty of a secret You know you're supposed to keep it That's the beauty of a secret,  But I don't have to fucking tell you anything,

People didn’t stop coming up to you throughout the month. They always asked the same question and you always gave them the same answer. Eventually, Emily was being questioned as well. The homophobia was kicking in and your classmates shifted from blatant curiosity to fear and everything else. You knew you shouldn’t have let what happened with Emily happen.. But it did and now you can’t change any of it. 

Everybody's waiting up to hear if I dare speak your name Put it deep beneath the track, like the hole you left in me And everybody wants to know 'bout how it felt to hear you scream They know you walk like you're a god, they can't believe I made you weak

*Timeskip to a couple of more months later*

You were so close to screaming.

You ran into the girls locker room, slamming the door as you did before punching your locker. 

Emily Prentiss was officially dating Christopher Wilson, the beloved captain of the soccer team. 

You knew Emily liked men as well as females.. But you hadn’t expected her to move on from you so damn quickly. It stung, truly.. It stung so much that you wanted to tell Christopher how you could barely walk the day after you and Emily did the things you did. 

But a secret is a secret.. And this secret may just be the death of you. 

You walked out of the locker room, running a hand through your hair as you glared at the girls staring at you. Whatever you were screaming about was completely obvious... They just wanted to know if you were going to confirm the rumor or not. You simply flipped the girls the bird before walking to your class, purposely shoving Christopher on the way. 

They think I'm insane, they think my lover is strange But I don't have to fucking tell them anything, anything And I'm gonna write it all down, and I'm gonna sing it on stage But I don't have to fucking tell you anything, anything

It’s 2017 now. 

You were here and you were famous. 

Thankfully, you’d survived the rest of high school. Emily had moved to a different country starting the next school year.. Everything that’d happened seemed to be nothing but a dream. 

You found your career in acting, actually. On occasion, you also released a song.. Your latest one about strange lovers had become such a hit. Truly, you did it to see if Emily was still out there. You’d looked her up a couple of times in the past couple of decades. Seeing her in the high ranks of the FBI didn’t surprise you one bit... She’d talked about that being one of her goals when the two of you were friends. 

You never once reached out to her and she did the same thing for you. Although you’re pretty sure she does know how you’re doing nowadays. You let out a long sigh as you stare at your yearbook from 1987, your eyes lingering on the woman’s yearbook photo before you tear your eyes away, closing the book and setting it on the bookshelf as you walked back to your room. 

Interviewers asked you so many times as to what inspired the song. Your answer would always be the same, a shrug with a dazzling smile as well as a gentle, “I dunno.” You’d become much more polite after high school. Nowadays it’s just part of your charm. Why reopen old wounds if your inspiration probably had no idea of what you were doing?

What you didn’t know is that Emily had all of your songs and had watched all of your movies. The team always teased her of her obsession with you and she always dismissed it as a celebrity thing that everyone has. When she heard your latest song, she had to keep the door to her office locked as she cried quietly. You were her biggest regret. Her not toughing it up and staying with you during that year hurt her so much.. And now it was hurting her even more. But the song was amazing, and it proved to her that you truly were the most trustworthy person she’d ever met.. Even after everything she’d done to you, you kept it a secret.. And that hurt her even more. 

But I don't have to fucking tell you anything, anything

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