#but also like i could pull off an amazing bill and ted's impression right now

[thetaoofbetty]

welp, i'm loopy on muscle relaxers so it's either the best time to write bughead or the worst

if betty keeps calling him nughead, you'll know which way it went

[fanfic-scribbles]

Heroic Gestures

Fandom: MCU Captain America/Avengers

Summary: Bucky saves you, you save Bucky. In different ways, but still– it’s all in a day’s work for a couple of heroes.

(Shut up Steve.)

Quick facts: Romance – [established] Reader/Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers – Nondescript Reader

Warnings: Some Reader peril, liberal usage of humor in a scary situation, little hurt and much comfort

Words: 2259

A/N: If you’re currently going ‘what gives, didn’t I see this this morning?’ yeah, that was a ‘whoopsie’ on my part; I posted it, had some technical glitches, tried to fix it on mobile while I was at work and borked it to the point where I had to delete it and wait until I got home. I promise I’m not spamming, I’m just technologically inept. Also anybody who can edit posts on mobile is smarter and braver than me <3

      ~

  Today had been going so well– you ran some errands, you cleaned the kitchen, you changed the password on Bucky’s computer so he can’t skip out on quality time with you when he gets home from his stupid SHIELD thing–

“Where is it?”

You're not sure how an otherwise mostly-pleasant morning has topped off with you tied to a chair in the middle of your ransacked living room, but you are going to kick somebody for it.

“I don’t know what ‘it’ is!” you snap and then gasp when the man’s face contorts in anger. Okay, easy; don’t piss off the guy with the gun sitting in arm’s reach. “I- I don’t know what you’re talking about; I don’t, I swear.”

He sighs like you’re the dumbest person he’s ever met. Rude. You could say a lot of things about a guy who breaks into someone else’s home, throws everything all over the place, and then starts asking where something is without telling the person he’s asking what he’s looking for. But you won’t. Mostly because he has a gun. And a knife. And a lot of muscles. Really, you’re more of a lover than a fighter, and you intend to keep it that way.

Unfortunately the man in front of you has a face only a mother could love, and a personality that you hope no one would care for. He grinds his teeth and takes a deep breath, which is good, you think. “Earlier today, Tony Stark came by and dropped off a package,” he says slowly. He raises both of his thin eyebrows. “Ring any bells?”

Ah, Tony. You are so kicking him later. “Honestly, no,” you say, because it is unfortunately not uncommon for Tony to just ‘drop in’ from time to time to do things like leave weird ‘presents,’ or upgrade your security system without asking, or stick rude notes that are too funny to get mad at on the refrigerator. Steve and Bucky don’t know how he gets in. Well they should be happy to not-know that you are so revoking his key after today.

The man grips your chin to painful degrees. “I don’t!” you insist, panicking that this is about to get way worse. But then he suddenly lets go.

And then he hits you. Hard enough to turn your head. Hard enough that half your face starts to throb. Despite your attempts to keep cool, you tear up a little. “I wasn’t even that rough,” he says and yanks your face back into line. When he does you catch a glimpse of someone lurking in the shadows– and the familiar glint of metal makes you able to breathe again.

“It can and will get worse,” Big Ugly tells you very seriously. You almost smirk, because yeah, it’s going to. And you hope Bucky lets you get a kick of your own in for good measure. But Bad Guy lets go of your face and sits back, smug and self-satisfied. For now. “Now– what did Stark give you?”

You sigh. “If Tony left anything then it would probably have been for one of the other two Avengers I live with. You’ll have to ask them.”

The man’s eyes flit suspiciously, but he doesn’t look around, even as he acquires a large and menacing shadow. “Oh really?” he asks sarcastically, like he doesn’t believe you have even so much as a roommate. In a brownstone. In Brooklyn.

Tourist.

“So where are they?” he asks and leans just a little too far back, away from you, and towards–

Bucky strikes, metal arm like a shining silver cobra, and grabs the other man by the throat, hauling him up over the chair he’s sitting him and pulling him back gagging and gasping and flailing so your beautiful specter can growl into his ear, “Right. Here.”

~

“I can’t believe you didn’t let me kick him.”

“I didn’t want you anywhere near him,” Bucky mutters and keeps dabbing at your face. You didn’t even feel the blood so you must be cleaned up by now, but repetitive motions can help soothe him when he’s like this, and right now Bucky looks like he’s a million miles away. “Steve’s gonna kill me.”

Steve will do no such thing and you both know it, but it doesn’t seem like a particularly comforting fact right now. “He’s gonna have to go through me,” you say and put your hand over his to hold the cloth there. “How are you feeling?”

He gives you a Look. “I punched him.”

“So pretty good then?”

You catch a hint of a smile before he dips his head down low. “Hey,” you say and hold his face, bringing him back up. You rub familiar stubble with your fingertips and cradle his jaw in the palms of your hands. “It’s not your fault. He came because he saw Tony. It’s not Tony’s fault either. It’s his fault. You saved me. Nothing really terrible happened. Breathe, baby.”

He does. He doesn’t look all that happy or relieved about it, but it’s not your place to harangue him out of having emotions.

“That said, maybe I can get Tony to do a drop off in an Amazon locker next time.”

Harangue, maybe not. Encourage some others, definitely yes, and Bucky rewards you by breathing a brief laugh. He then shakes his head and goes back to dabbing your face. “Steve is going to kill me.”

~

You should have bet on it because when Steve comes home a couple of days later, Bucky walks in right behind him completely hale and hearty– much like Steve, who predicts your running jump with such aplomb that he drops his bag to the floor just in time to catch you. “You’re okay!” you say, legs wrapped around his waist, and you kiss him several times over while he takes you over to the couch and sits with you on his lap.

“Likewise,” Steve says and runs a gentle hand up the side of your face. You didn’t think you looked that bad, but he adds, “Bucky told me what happened. How are you feeling?”

Bucky is currently lurking in the big armchair off on the side, watching the two of you like he’s afraid to interact. You hope he got his kisses in when he greeted Steve at the airfield. Actually, scratch that– you hope Steve got his kisses in, because Bucky is full-on into self-flagellation mode for not having been psychic about a wanna-be terrorist stalking Tony for a delivery the boys weren't even expecting.

Still, you try. “I’m fine. Bucky swooped in, all knight-in-shining-armor-y, and saved me.” You smile at Bucky while still addressing Steve. “I’m no shrinking violet, but I felt braver when I saw him.”

Bucky perks up from his busy ‘Sit Morosely in a Chair’ activity. “Really?”

“Mm hm,” you say, still enthused with running your hands over Steve’s. Luckily he never seems to mind how touchy you get after a mission.

“I’m sure you were brave,” Steve says and brings up your hands to kiss them.

“Nope!” you say, too cheerful on purpose. You sit back on the couch and drape your legs across Steve’s lap. “So, here’s what happened: one day while I was out, completely unbeknownst to me, Tony came over and dropped something off.” You put Steve’s hands on your thighs and pat them. “And don’t worry; I have since talked to Tony about dropping by when one of us isn’t home.”

“So have I,” Bucky mutters.

“Shush! This is my story,” you say and shoot Bucky a glare. He crosses his arms and looks away, so you clear your throat. “Anyway. Unbeknownst to Tony, he was being watched by someone else. Dundunduuuu–”

“AIM,” Bucky murmurs and you glare at him again. He puts his hand to his mouth.

“So, I got home after running some errands and one of the mysterious evil people watching the house decided to make their move,” you say, but Bucky looks so sad again you think…why not have a little fun with it. “He forced his way into my apartment, but I held him off…” for five seconds, but you punch the air and say, “–with my untapped assassin powers!”

Steve lets out a startled laugh and Bucky looks at you like you’re crazy, but he’s stopped looking sad, so you run with it. You nod emphatically. “Yes, to my surprise, I held him off with magically discovered physical ability that would make even Natasha say “whoaaaa.’”

Bucky snorts and his hand is less for showing you he’s going to behave and more for covering up a smile. That’s way better, and totally worth the pain you’ll endure if Natasha ever finds out your impression of her sounds more like Bill and/or Ted than her. You grin and continue with your story. “We fought for hours. I was amazing.”

“Well, I have seen you catch a chip when it started to drop on the other side of the room,” Steve says thoughtfully.

You snap your fingers and point at him. “See? Same motivation.” You then mock a swoon. “Alas, my hubris got the best of me and I was defeated. I awoke, tied to a chair.” You put your hand to your chest. “My own fault; I underestimated my lesser-but-still-formidable opponent. So, he interrogated me. It was kind of scary, but I gave him nothing.” You lift your hands when you shrug. “Mostly because I didn’t know shit. But! Also because I’m brave and stout of heart and yadda yadda.”

Steve is doing real bad at trying not to laugh, and Bucky, though more composed now and trying to be stern, is cracking fast. Good. “And then.” You clasp your hands over your heart as though to keep it in your chest. “Bucky came out of the smoke and shadows and loomed over my lesser-but-formidable opponent.”

“We have a smoke machine?” Steve asks.

“Nope. He was just that awesome,” I said. “I was pretending to cry, to catch my lesser-but-formidable opponent off-guard. It totally worked; he was such a dummy. And then– and then!” You sit up because you’re at the best part, and Steve wraps an arm around your waist to help you stay steady on the cushions. “So I told my lesser-but-formidable opponent that Tony didn’t give me anything, but if he did it would be for the two Avengers I actually do hang out with–”

“‘Hang out with,’” Steve scoffs and pinches your thigh. You yelp and fall against him to make him stop.

“I’m at the best part!” you say and cover his mouth. He takes your hand and starts kissing it, but he’s paying attention (and it feels nice) so you allow it. “So- so he says, ‘where are they?’ and Bucky– cape flowing, lightning striking, shadows casting over his face–”

“Did I have a rose whip too?” Bucky asks dryly.

“I think you would look fetching in a domino mask, but that’s neither here nor there. Anyway, so- so Bucky says–” you drop your voice almost as low as you can, “‘–Right. Here.’ And POW! WHAM!” You swing, making punching motions at the air, so hard and numerous that you almost fall off the couch. Steve is still holding you and at one point he keeps you from diving face first into the floor. “Thanks,” you pant and take two more big, deep breaths to get back to baseline. “And then I totally forgot I had magical badass powers and let Bucky handle the situation, and he beat up the bad guy, and untied me, and I fell right into his arms because he’s my hero. And then some other boring stuff happened. The end!”

Steve claps and Bucky joins him, and you stand up to take a bow, as is your due. You then hop over and sit across Bucky’s lap. It’s hard for Bucky to mope with someone draped over him, as you have well learned from watching Steve. “You’re amazing–” you kiss him, “–and strong–” you kiss him again, “–and I love you so–” kiss, “–deal–” kiss, “–with–” kiss, “–it,” kiss kiss kiss.

“Fine! Fine,” he grumbles but he can’t hide that smile from you. “Shouldn’t you be harassing Steve? He’s the one who hasn’t been home.”

“I have a solution for that,” Steve says, suddenly next to you, and he lifts you into his arms.

“Hey!” You smack at his hand. It’s one thing when you’re making him catch you, it’s another thing when he initiates. You're supposed to be in charge, dammit. You’ve said so.

“I need to thank my heroes for taking care of the homestead while I was out,” Steve says and nuzzles your neck, dipping down to kiss and nip at your collarbone. You shiver and even Bucky looks entranced when Steve lifts his head and says in a deeper voice, “Are you in, Sergeant?”

Bucky manages a barely intelligible “yes” as he stumbles to his feet and follows you both to the bedroom. Steve doesn’t ask you but, admittedly, he doesn’t have to. You’re easy and you’re pretty okay with it. Also, you feel like after this week you deserve to be doted on a little bit. And you know you will be.

It’s good to be a hero.

However if they try to start dragging you to the gym with them, you’re going to show them some actual secret ass-kicking abilities.

[junker-town]

Who’s the best player from the 2016 NFL Draft — so far?

Looking largely at the past three seasons, here are our 10 best players who debuted in 2016.

Carson Wentz got his nine-figure payday. Dak Prescott won’t be far behind. Jared Goff has another year and a half to come to terms on a megadeal that would cement his status as the Rams’ quarterback of the future.

In three seasons in the league, that trio has helped swing the balance of power in the NFC. Wentz and Goff both played significant roles on teams that won conference championships. Prescott has been the force that eschewed a rebuild in Dallas and pushed the Cowboys to a pair of division titles.

But are they the best players to come out of a potent 2016 NFL Draft class? To find out, I factored in three years of production and their still-growing potential moving forward — with a stronger emphasis on total performance and how these players have made their teams better. Their ability to stay on the field is a factor as well; injuries and off-field concerns also played a role in the rankings.

Three seasons ago, a deluge of talent made the leap from college football to the NFL, injecting the league with young dynamos who’ve made an impact in the regular season and playoffs alike. This group has shared honors beyond just rookie of the year awards, ranging from All-Pro status to the opportunity to hoist the Vince Lombardi Trophy in February. With three years of data to reflect on, the majority of the class’ star power came from 2016’s first round — but some mid-draft gems made their mark as well.

So I, foolishly, struck off to rank the top 10.

1. Dak Prescott (135th overall)

2. Carson Wentz (second overall)

3. Jared Goff (first overall)

Hooooo boy, let’s get right into it:

Prescott’s the man with the better career numbers — best passer rating, best winning percentage, a huge advantage as a runner — but that’s partially because he came in and outperformed expectations from Week 1 as a pro. He was able to shatter a low-percentage learning curve and make Tony Romo our most beloved broadcaster, though Prescott may have the lowest ceiling of this amazingly talented group.

Then come the men who were expected to play starring roles as soon as their names were called on draft night. Goff is the one with the biggest performances in recent years and the highest ceiling, even if his aerial prowess is aided significantly by a creative offense-inclined coach and one of the best receiving corps in the league. Wentz is the man who was once an MVP frontrunner for a team that went on to win the Super Bowl (albeit without him). Both have the chops to be the league’s top quarterback in the near future.

So how do you rank them?

Wentz has shown the most, even as injuries have dulled some of his shine (though not enough for the Eagles, smartly, to invest more than $100 million in him).

Prescott has done the most with the least — see the Cowboys’ receiving corps pre-Amari Cooper trade or their tight end corps, uh, now — but he has yet to live up to the heights of his rookie season and put together an extremely average 2017.

Goff has improved each season he’s played, but his postseason passer rating is more than 20 points lower than his regular season one.

You could arrange these three in any order and I’d be willing to listen to your argument. Even so, the edge after three seasons goes to Prescott. While he’s the only one who hasn’t been instrumental in a Super Bowl run, he’s also been the most reliable in the postseason. The Cowboys quarterback may not be able to make the same throws downfield Goff and Wentz can, but his mobility and accuracy give him the slightest of edges coming into 2019— though both his peers have the chops and potential to eclipse him.

Not that we’ve got that not-at-all subjective and debatable start to the list out of the way in a completely agreeable fashion, let’s move on.

4. Michael Thomas, WR, Saints (47th overall)

The Saints didn’t really build much of a receiving corps around Thomas after trading Brandin Cooks to the Patriots in 2017. This all worked out for them because Thomas is some kind of low-key superhero. Over the past two seasons, he’s hauled in 229 catches — 18 more than anyone else in the league — for 2,650 yards and 14 touchdowns. Last fall, he comprised more than 61 percent of Drew Brees’ completions to his wideouts.

And despite being a clear-cut top option and facing double-teams all year long, he still produced! His third season in the league saw him earn first-time All-Pro honors, and he’d go on to roast the Eagles for 12 catches and 171 yards in their wild card matchup. That’s amazing for anyone, let alone the sixth wideout drafted in what was supposed to be a top-heavy draft.

The Saints got him a little backup this spring by adding Jared Cook to their lineup. He, Alvin Kamara, and a healthy Ted Ginn should carve out a little extra space for Thomas to thrive in 2019 — even if the rest of the team’s receiving corps isn’t exactly inspiring.

5. Ezekiel Elliott, RB, Cowboys (fourth overall)

Despite a relative downturn in his suspension-shortened 2017 — the same year Prescott struggled — the Dallas tailback is still averaging more than 100 rushing yards per game as a pro. More importantly, he stepped into an elevated role as a receiver last season to pick up the slack of an underwhelming group of receivers, hauling in a career-high 77 catches (though for only 567 yards) and standing out as Prescott’s invaluable safety valve.

The question is how long he can keep this up — and whether his off-field decision-making will lead to another league suspension later in his career. Elliott’s career so far has been predicated on rewarding Jerry Jones for eschewing trends and drafting a runner in the top five. Now he’s got to convince Jones he’s the rare running back who’s worth a massive contract. (Retired offensive lineman Geoff Schwartz says Elliott is worth the cash.)

6. Jalen Ramsey, CB, Jaguars (fifth overall)

Ramsey took a step back from his All-Pro 2017 as the Jaguars crumbled into dust around him, but he remains a top-flight cornerback who thrives when left on an island. This was on full display in a 2018 loss to the Steelers, where he drew a headline assignment against Antonio Brown and intercepted Ben Roethlisberger — a player he called “decent at best” that preseason — two times to give his rudderless club a chance to pull off the midseason upset.

7. Tyreek Hill, WR, Chiefs (165th overall)

Hill is a game-breaking wideout and returner — whose off-field issues make him toxic. He’s amazing when he’s on the field, and that’s about all I’d like to say about a player who’s currently suspended by the Chiefs from all team activities.

8. Joey Bosa, DE, Chargers (third overall)

Bosa is a pocket-crashing monster when healthy — but that hasn’t been especially often in his first three seasons as a pro. He’s missed 13 games for the Chargers so far but still racked up 28.5 sacks while providing Los Angeles a perfect counter-punch to Melvin Ingram’s potent pass rush from the opposite side. The Ohio State product has averaged 13 sacks per 16 games to start his career, and his presence on the Chargers’ defensive line could be the extra push that finally gets Philip Rivers to the Super Bowl.

9. Yannick Ngakoue, DE, Jaguars (69th overall)

Ngakoue has more sacks than anyone else in his class, totaling 29.5 and giving Jacksonville one of the league’s most powerful pass rushes alongside 2017 first-team All-Pro Calais Campbell. While his breakout 2017 is his headliner with 12.5 sacks and six forced fumbles, he remained productive in his third year, notching 9.5 sacks and 33 quarterback hits — the latter good for third-best in the NFL. Bosa’s better on a per-game basis, but Ngakoue keeps getting better and has been the more consistent player to date.

10. Joe Thuney, OG, Patriots (78th overall)

Thuney has yet to make a Pro Bowl roster, but the former third-round selection has developed into one of the league’s most reliable interior blockers under the guidance of legendary line coach Dante Scarnecchia. He was part of a unit that allowed the decidedly un-nimble Tom Brady to be sacked just one time in the postseason and limited Aaron Donald to just one QB hit in Super Bowl 53. While Thuney earned a glowing pass-blocking grade from Pro Football Focus in 2018, his duties in the run game were equally impressive; the third-year guard paved the way for New England’s most efficient rushing offense since 2013.

Thuney’s even been so good on the interior that Bill Belichick’s been giving him a look at left tackle this offseason. While he may not have the accolades of more-lauded 2016 blockers like Jack Conklin, Cody Whitehair, or Ronnie Stanley, his gradual improvement suggests he may make the leap to All-Pro in 2019.

That’s the Summer 2019 look back at the Class of ‘16, but there are so many different ways this list could shake out each summer for the next decade. Bosa is a game-changer if he can consistently turn in 16-game seasons. Goff is just harnessing his powers in Sean McVay’s continually evolving offense. Wentz is less than two years away from being the league’s leading MVP candidate.

Then there are the guys who just missed the list. Players like Conklin, Whitehair, Laremy Tunsil, Xavien Howard, Myles Jack (the Jaguars had a very, very good draft and somehow — ahem, Bortles — only won five games last year), DeForest Buckner, and Keanu Neal could crash the top 10 with another solid season this fall. There was a ton of talent that came into the league in 2016, and most of it found its way to the top of the draft. Unsurprisingly, those guys have been postseason staples over the last three years.

Barring a major surprise, we’ll be seeing them late into January for the next 10 years to come, too.