#but also it's been two months and i will still randomly remember tidbits and need to stare at a wall about them for 3 hours. ykwim

[queerofthedagger]

had a vision

[microcroft]

“Buhh... sometimes life feels like a slow, gray blur... know what I mean? 

...I feel like you're the only constant color in my life”

so um, heres some Gris and Shane content i have been working on for a month (which is nothing compared to the gris and shane picture i have been working/ giving up on/ working on again for like well over a year now lmao). I really love this line from Auroniova’s dialogue mod (heres the CP version that works ) and this image popped in my head in art appreciation class as i randomly thought about it. i am posting it now because if i dont i will never stop working on it because i am constantly seeing little things i have to fix and there will never not be something to fix.

i love these two dumbass disasters so fucking much.  

heres a description of gris: Gay, absolute nightmare, has adhd, anxiety and depression (because i just cant seem to write a character that doesnt). Long story short, he goes to stardew to try and put himself back together. Shane tells gris to fuck off. Gris tell shane to fuck off. A week later, shane is like “life sucks and im stuck in this dark abyss and i cant even see the light of day anymore” and gris is like “Thats a fuckin big mood there. Cheers, i’ll drink to that bro.”After that they both realize “this dude gets it.” They become best friends. Shane is the only one gris actually feels comfortable talking to about why he really came to stardew and why he only wears long sleeves. Shane, though the least likely person in the whole ass valley, actually helps gris deal with all his shit. Gris provides shane everything he needs to help himself get out of that abyss. On fall 12th of year 1 they finally get together for real then after that they are absolutely disgustingly sappy and in love and it only gets worse from that point forward. Its not always sunshine and rainbows but they understand each other better than anyone else and when they are together the world is less cold and overwhelming.

somewhat longer description (still a basic summary because this boy’s whole life is a mess) under the cut

he worked his way up through joja to a very high corporate position (head of community development, basically he moved joja into communities and integrated them in to those communities) and really fucking hates joja with a fiery passion because they basically manipulated/ brainwashed him into thinking he was doing something good, censoring the internet, always spinning news stories and lying to him and he was terrified of facing that truth that everything he he had done nothing but hurt the people he was trying to help. 

so uhhhhhhhhhhh after that truth really broke through he had a huge breakdown, cleaned out his bank account giving money to communities joja fucked up and other charities, then got extremely drunk and attempted suicide. anyway, after that his therapist pretty much yelled at him telling him for the 50th time that the city environment is detrimental to his mental health and he needs to change his environment if he wants long term results. he goes to the valley.

random tidbits of info:

he comes from a wealthy family, think lorelai’s parents in the gilmore girls, they are basically them, however, his mom is far manipulative and unsupportive than emily. his parents were nearly constantly away on business trips so he and his little sister were left in the care of their abusive, alcoholic grandfather. :) definitely doesnt have absolutely any effect on gris’s mental health, not at all :)

gris used to stay with his grandpa (paternal side, the not-asshole grandpa)  in stardew over the summers for a couple years, there he met some kid and became best friends with him and dug up worms and went on adventures with him. they were basically joined at the hip over the summers. gris’s parents stopped letting him go to his grandpas over the summers, they lost touch and he hasnt seen or spoken to that kid in 20 years. he doesnt remember his name either :/

shane runs a popular depression memes twitter. later he becomes a youtube gamer/twitch streamer, he plays games as charlie just roams around. he doesnt tell his fans he and gris are together until they get married and all hell breaks loose among his fan base. his fans fucking love gris. 

shane and gris are a mixture of ned and ariel fulmer from the try guys and jenna and julien except with more mental illness and chickens.

1 part ned and ariel

3 parts jenna and julien

1000000 parts sad bitch disease and chickens

100000000000 parts “i love my husband” juice, which also counts as ned and ariel but like yeah the fulmers are very powerful in the “extremely married” department but like.... thats not powerful enough

[slashersteve]

Forgotten Love Letter 💌

pairing: Peter Parker/Gender Neutral Reader

summary: Peter discovers a letter you had intended to give him in freshman year of high school before you started dating.

warnings: mentions of blood 

note: I got inspired by letter writing in numerous fics I’ve been running into and tatbilb ofc 💕 enjoy :)) first imagine ive written in over 2 decades, it’s been sitting in my drafts for that long too- now she’s out here in the world thank u thank u

•••

The school week was officially over, and you could finally relax over the weekend. It had been an exhausting week with numerous amount of homework (it’ll be this way in college get used to it now teachers said or claimed) You still had homework, but it wouldn’t be due until the end of the next week, so Saturday was officially for you.

Your boyfriend of a year had promised you two would hang out at your place and watch a movie, but after his nightly activities. You knew Peter was Spider-man, an internet sensation everyone was crazy about including yourself. The only way you found out is because Peter has never been great at keeping secrets. He saw you on the street one time, and just waved, “Hey (y/n)!” He yelled, completely forgetting he was Spider-Man and not another high school student who can nonchalantly say hi to their significant other. You were hella confused and had awkwardly waved back, recognizing his voice but not quite sure if you heard it right.

It took you all night before you had put two and two together. From those late nights he wouldn’t answer your texts or would answer your text, weird bruises and aches he sometimes had, and his ability to climb through your window despite the fire escape being farther away from your 7th floor bedroom. And his voice. You quickly got to work and went to school the next day wearing custom made Spider-Man gear to see if he catches on that you know and he looked completely touched by the fact you were wearing it.

“Did you- figure it out when I said hi to you?” Peter asked one day underneath the bleachers during lunch before Ned came to join you two. You had smirked and said, “I thought the point of the mask was for people to not know who you are, especially the ones you know.” He blushed of embarrassment and you kissed him on the cheek and said, “Secrets safe with me...” with a wink.

It was after that when Peter would come to you after nearly every night patrol he did, he’d come into your room in the full suit to tell you about his day, what he had done, what kind of crime he fought and other times he’d come when he’s injured. Those were the nights that worried you the most and made you lecture him on being much, much more careful. You didn’t care if he’d heal fast- he’s not invincible.

You hadn’t expected him in early today though, knowing he was spending the entire day with his Aunt May before going on “patrol”. So you spent most your Saturday laying sround, sleeping on and off and texting Peter. Your mom was out all day working and you didn’t expect your dad home till the next morning because he’d just left for the graveyard shift. You were bored out of your mind after every favorite movie was watched and decided to clean up the mess in your room you ignored the past week.

An hour of picking up and vacuuming later, you then decided to organize your closet. That’s when you found it- a medium sized white wooden jewelry box with flower and swan designs on it your mother had gifted to you when you were eight. After putting all your clothes back and some in a box, you sat down on your bed, legs crossed as you wound up the music and then opened the box, the melody of Swan Lake playing the moment you lifted the lid. You smiled at the swan figurine that slowly spun along to the music. A feeling of nostalgia bursted through you as you were reminded of being a child, humming the tune wherever you went and drawing swans randomly. Your eyes shifted to look at the contents inside, letting the music continue to play.

There was anything but jewelry in there, In there was instead a few notes you and your best friend from middle school used to give each other, filled with silly stuff and inside jokes. There was even old letters from a pen pal you had in 5th grade! Her name was Elizabeth and she was from the UK. About a half hour had passed with you reading through them when you eyes caught the light pink, folded paper that was at the very bottom. You picked it up, setting the others aside.

You flipped it around, not remembering what the letter was, what it contained or who it was for right until you saw the name “Peter Parker” with a heart around it. Instantly your eyes widened, the happy nostalgic memories being replaced with the cringey memory of that one afternoon on the bus ride home writing out your feelings for your new friend from Science class. You felt your cheeks heat up at the memory, and slowly small tidbits of what you wrote were coming back to you.

Just as you moved to open it, there was a sudden loud knock on your window. You jumped in your spot, the letter falling from your hand and you turned to see the man himself in his Spider-Man suit, waving at you and pointing at the window asking you to let him in. Instantly you relaxed and quickly shoved the letters back into the box and shut it, the room becoming silent.

Hopping to your feet, you went to unlock the window, saying, “You’re here early did May-“ but your words got caught in your throat when you saw he was cut up and bleeding. He pulled his mask off, his brown locks of short hair sticking up in nearly every direction.

“Peter what the hell!” You cried, gently touching around a bruise on his left cheek and then looking down at his cut up suit to see the damage. It was pretty bad, but he just gave a pained toothy smile that you glared at, already knowing what he was going to say.

“It’ll heal- I dunno about the suit- but ill heal I just need to get kisses from you and lay down for a while and I’ll be better in no time,” he said, pecking your lips then walking passed you. You were baffled as he had one hand over his side and used the other to grab a towel to put over your bed before sitting down on it. You’d honestly never seen him this hurt- you’ve seen bruises, mega painful looking bruises, and few cuts but this was just bad. His suit was cut up. What kind of people did he run into for them to do that? He noticed you staring and sighed, “I know what you’re thinking (y/n), but really I’m okay! You should’ve seen the other guys.” He joked but you crossed your arms not amused.

“Other guys? Looking at how you ended up- I can only assume you killed them,” you said in a serious tone, but he laughed like it was a joke. When he saw you weren’t laughing he let his head fall downwards for a moment.

“Can you not lecture me right now- this really hurts,” he motioned over his wounds and you sighed once more, hands falling to the side as he gave you those puppy dog eyes now. You didn’t say anything as you wandered over to your door and went to retrieve some things to clean his wounds. He may heal pretty fast, but you’ll be damned if he’s going to lay there all bloodied up and in pain. Peter watched you go and pushed himself more onto the bed, before swinging his feet up and knocking over the music box on your bed. He raised a brow, and grabbed it, realizing it was a music box when he saw the wound up in the back. He opened it after twisting it, smiling at the soft tune that began to play out like you had done. He curiously looked at its contents and he would’ve left it alone because it was clearly private if they were in a box, but his eyes caught sight of a “-rker” and when he moved the other papers he saw it was his name. Curiosity got the best of him as he pulled out the pink, folded sheet of paper and laughed softly when he saw it was his name written in your handwriting in the center of a near perfect looking heart.

He glanced at the door to see if you were coming back, and saw you still werent back so he gently opened it, seeing a full page of writing and a date at the top, Peter recognizing the year as freshman year, the year you transferred to Midtown High and the first year you met. He felt his heart warm up as he realized what this was.

It was a love letter.

Dear Peter Parker,

I know we’ve only just met, but every time I’m around you I feel butterflies in my stomach and my heart races 100 beats per minute. You’re very sweet, funny, and really smart and I couldn’t help but feel these feelings for you even if we’ve only known each other for a month or two. Everyday spent with you has been the best days of my life! I came to this school with no friends and dreaded having to have to do a partner project in biology. You were kind enough to sit by me and ask me to work with you. After that, I couldn’t stop myself from falling in love with you. I feel silly for writing a letter, but I’m not really good with words and I am not sure you feel the same. I’m currently writing on the bus ride home, hoping to god the person behind me isn’t looking over the seat. I would be so embarrassed! But- I really hope you do feel the same way, I’ll be crushed if you didn’t. Please don’t think I’m a fool for writing this letter

With love,

(y/n)

By the time Peter got to the end, the smile on his lips were so wide. He found this completely touching and adorable because it was dated about 3 months before you two even began to date towards the middle of freshman year. The fact that you already liked him so much before then also made him a bit giddy.

You had just gotten out from your parents bathroom, having been in there a while trying to find the first aid kit. When you walking back down the hall towards your bedroom you stopped when you heard Swan Lake.

“Oh...oh no-“ your heart dropped as you remember what was in that box and you ran into your room, eyes widen when you saw Peter holding the letter in his hands, “What are you doing?!” The music ended on queue and Peter snapped his head in your direction, seeing your horrified expression. You set the first aid kit onto the dresser near the door and reached to take the note away from him but he dodged your hand, “Give it! Please don’t read it! It’s from a year ago please Peter!” You begged, “I don’t even know what’s in it, it’s probably horrible!” Peter hadn’t said anything, just smiling playfully and keeping the note away from you as you leaned over him, still being aware of his injuries. Although he’d forgotten about his own injuries being distracted by your letter. He fell backwards and groaned in pain swinging his legs over the side of your bed. Your eyes widened.

“I already read it by the way,” Peter said, looking up at where you sat next to him, one leg crossed over the other, “I can’t believe you didn’t give it to me! We could’ve been dating way sooner!” You tilted your head, cheeks heating up as you snatched the letter from him and scanned over it quickly.

“Dear god no- this would’ve slowed things down! This is so- so bad,” you claimed and looked back at him with a major cringe on your face. Peter shook his head disagreeing with you, “I barely knew you- are you telling me you wouldn’t of been freaked out by this? It’s kind of stalkerish.”

“Nope!”

You shook your head in disbelief, and looked back down at the paper, embarrassed by the horrible confession of love whereas Peter was grinning like a child next to you.

“It’s cute that you’ve always had a crush on me,” he teased you, you became flushed and began to fold the sides of the paper nervously, “hey, hey why are you so embarrassed? I liked you too you know.” He admitted, pushing himself up now clenching his side lightly. You set the letter down and got the first aid kit.

“I don’t know why I’m so embarrassed,” you admitted as you took the same spot next to him, “We’re literally dating. And I feel like I can’t even look at you.”

“Well- you got what you wanted,” Peter said as he tapped on the spider logo on his, his suit loosing up and falling off his shoulders to reveal the bloody wounds. Normally when he had his shirt off you wouldn’t able to concentrate, no one should let the nerd demeanor throw them off, he was pretty built and it was nice. The wounds were your main focus, along with that embarrassing letter though, there was no time to ogle.

“Oh yeah?” You asked, a smirk on your lips as you got out the supplies, “And what was it I wanted?”

“For me to return your feelings, thus us beginning to date, you got it all!” he explained, wincing when you began to clean around his wounds, “Why did you never give me the letter? It was really sweet...” he said in a strain voice, you pursed your lips together and looked at him.

“I don’t know, I remember coming home that day and just setting it into the music box and never letting it see the light of day again.”

“There must’ve been a- ow,” he closed his eyes and bit his bottom lip and you seized cleaning one of the bigger wounds, looking at him with a sorry look, “a reason!” You licked your lip as you began to think back to that day, and it suddenly hit you. You laughed sadly.

“The next day, I ran into this girl and she was crying. And I asked her what was wrong and she said that she sent a long text to her crush about how much she liked him and he completely ignored her, and that he wouldn’t talk to her,” you explained, Peter frowned, “So as you can tell...that really discouraged me.”

“What a damn jerk,” Peter said raising a brow, “I wouldn’t of done that to you, I mean- look at us now-“

“Me cleaning up your wounds after a year of dating?” You chirped and he smiled fondly.

“Well- we could be doing more!” He teased and wiggled his eyebrows and you rolled your eyes, “Woah! I meant watching a movie together and cuddling! What were you thinking?”

“There will be no cuddling because you’re hurt,” you gestured to his wounds and he scoffed and put out his bottom lip. You continued to clean up in wounds in silence, suppressing that smile on your lips.

When he was all clean and bandaged up, you dug into your extra clothes and handed him a pair of sweatpants and then gave him one of your large sweatshirts you wore in the colder weather. You helped him get it on, pulling the sweatshirt gently over his back and stomach. He wasn’t hiding the fact that it hurt, and you pat the spot next to you.

“Thought we were going to watch a movie,” he said, crawling next to you onto your bed and settling down facing you, propping his head up with his right arm. You shook your head.

“M’ kind of tired,” you mumbled, fluffing your pillow. Peter blinked, and noticed that he was pretty tired too, Aunt May knew he was going over to your place, so sleeping over wouldn’t be the worst thing. He leaned over, catching your lips into a kiss and with a cheeky grin he said, “Thank you for taking care of me (y/n), I don’t know what I’d do without you. Everyday spent with you has been the best days of my life and I can’t wait for more!” Your eyes widen and you flicked him in the shoulder as he laughed loudly, falling into his back. You nuzzled your head into his arm, not wanting to lay on him due to his injuries.

“Everything in that letter was true by the way, Peter.” You said, closing your eyes. Peters eyes were already closed, but there was a smile on lips before both of you fell asleep.

[novamm66]

Pic-Lit 8 (Part 2) - Cullen

I agonized over this drawing, and this story a lot.  This sketch was the first attempt of mine to draw something from my imagination.  And here it is, please let me know what you think.

The story was also tricky I could see it in my head but it was a struggle to get it down on the page.

He had been walking for what seemed like hours.  He was faintly regretting leaving his horse behind, but Kiaya hadn’t taken her Forder with her and there was no clear path to speak of so a horse would have been a bad idea.

Cullen stopped in the fading light and pulled out the letter Kiaya had left in the war room.  He stared at the paper then checked his position.  Maker I hope I am reading this right.  It had been a passing conversation a month ago, one of the personal tidbits that she has started to share with him.  Cullen sighed, putting the letter back in his pocket, and started walking up the hill again.  The lyrium in his system had been sparking and buzzing the entire journey but he couldn’t tell how long ago she had passed.  He had come prepared to spend the night but only just.  He had wanted speed when he had finally gotten away from Haven.

Barely minutes had past when Cullen stopped again.  Smoke, wood smoke; the wind shifted and it was gone.  Cullen waited until he could smell it again on the air, and he set out in that direction.  His pace quickened as the terrain got steeper, trees crowding in on both sides. A hundred paces and he broke through the edge of the trees into the strangest little hideaway he had ever seen.  

At his feet, a small stream slid past on its way to another waterfall below.  Past it, the cliff wall curved around to form a wide-open shelf about ten paces across. There was a small half cave at the end. On the other side trees loomed to the left and right creating a window with the treetops below.  This place would be almost impossible to find unless you stumbled on it.  There was only one way up and that was mostly over grown.

Fire wood had been stacked along the wall and a fire was burning at the back of the curve, the smoke disappearing into the ceiling to leak out invisibly into the hill side.  This place was practically unnoticeable.

Cullen stood looking at the empty campsite, listening to the water and the wind. A sharp intake of breath behind him had instinct kick in as his hand fell to his sword.  As he turned slowly around a shadow rose from the rocks and trees on his left.

“Cullen!?!  You figured it out! You came… FUCK!!!!”

---

Kiaya had known she was going to run, even before they had returned from Redcliffe.  She always ran.  That was why she had started prepping this place almost as soon as she found it a month ago.  She always felt better knowing she had a place to run to when she felt like she was losing control.  And Redcliffe had been too much.  Running away was how she regained some control.  It was not a good way but it was a way and it kept her sane.  She had never felt as out of control of her own choices as she has since the Fade spit her out.  Here, things were simpler; it gave her time to think, she had to get her head on straight again.  True, the whiskey was probably a bad choice, but it was a choice.

When she had gotten here she had every intention of making camp but after the fire was lit she sat down for a rest and a drink, and well...  She had gotten lost in her drawings again.  At some point the bottle appeared from the pack that Dorian had insisted on packing for her, while he lectured her on not eating or sleeping; in fact she was surprised that he had included the bottle at all.  After that she had become completely unaware of the passage of time. The first drawing had reached an end, at least until the sun came up again, and she had found herself sketching randomly, which had turned into a pair of eyes.

When Cullen walked into the clearing, Kiaya was far away in daydreams of amber and gold. She didn’t notice him right away, and he hadn’t seen her, sitting on a rock in the shadows of the trees. When Kiaya did notice him, she froze for a moment.

She couldn’t believe it.  He had remembered and he had figured it out.  It had been weeks ago that she had told him about her grandfather, who couldn’t read or write but would leave messages in drawings. They had made a game of it when she was small.  Kiaya still found herself doing it from time to time, it kept her childhood close.  That Cullen had recognized it, and actually come after her.  She swallowed, wishing now she had less to drink, or anything to eat, or both.

“Cullen!?!  You figured it out! You came… FUCK!!!!”

Cullen started at the sight of Kiaya tangled up in her own feet and her pack, sprawled on the ground.  The drawing kit that Varric had given her had been balanced on her pack and was now scattered on the dark ground.

Kiaya suddenly realized that she had sat still so long both of her legs had fallen asleep, she could no longer feel them.  She had almost pitched head first into the stream. As she crouched on the ground, almost at Cullen’s feet, Kiaya continued to curse and berate herself at her klutziness. ‘Maker, what he must think of me. Why? Why can’t I control my feet when I really need to?’ As she struggled to right herself and blood made it back to her feet, she could suddenly feel all too much, she hated when her legs feel asleep, it was such a horrible feeling.  

Kiaya could feel the blush rising up her neck and added to the redness that was all ready in her cheeks.  She sat on the ground, thumping feeling back into her thighs, thinking nasty thoughts about herself in general, when she was interrupted by the sound of Cullen, turning a laugh into a cough unconvincingly.

“Are you OK?”

“Yes, I’m fine.  Apparently up is not a direction I travel well.”  Kiaya’s could stop the grin from growing on her face; she truly must have looked ridiculous.  What an entrance.  For someone who hated being noticed she sure was great at making a display.  Kiaya’s eyes were dancing with suppressed mirth when she glanced up at Cullen, and he couldn’t stop his chuckling anymore.  Kiaya started to smile, then chuckle, then her head shot back and her laugh rang out like a bell. It echoed and leaped from stone to stone, bubbling up like the stream she was almost sitting in. Cullen was entranced, it was the first time he had heard her laugh, really laugh, without a care.

Kiaya’s outburst of mirth ended with a sigh, she glanced down and wiped her cheek.  She felt lighter somehow, lighter then she had in a long time and more like herself. She still wasn’t ready to face her future, or the possible lack thereof, but she would get there.  She always got there.

With another sigh, Kiaya started to scan the ground for her tools. It was almost full dark and looking for leads and charcoals in the dark was not going to work.  She found what she could and left the rest until morning. She corked the bottle, put it in her bag and climbed to her feet. She swayed a bit and she realized her hands were shaking, when had she eaten last?  She swung her pack on to her shoulder and immediately felt it lifted out of her hand.  Her surprise forced her head up as she swung around, unbalanced again, until she collided with Cullen.  His arms circled her waist to steady her; her hands and arm landing against his chest plate, the cold metal a sharp reminder of reality.

He wasn’t wearing his gloves and the touch of his hands on her back was electric.  Cullen’s touch was burning through the light cotton of the shirt she was wearing.  Kia couldn’t feel her knees anymore, feeling like she was floating, heat sizzled up her spine and pooling low in her belly. The air seemed to shimmer and swirl around them, filling Kiaya’s head with the earthy smell of him.  Oakmoss, and leather and him, everything him; she couldn’t take her eyes away from his, his gaze seeming to read every thought, ever secret that she struggled to hide from everyone.  She would gladly drown in those eyes forever.

“When did you eat last?”  Not the question Kiaya was hoping for.

“I’m not entirely sure.”

“What did you bring with you?”

Kiaya blinked and dropped her eyes from his, her breathe fogging Cullen’s breast plate.

“… I don’t know.  Dorian packed for me.  I don’t think he trusted me...” Kiaya’s voice petered out as she lost her courage.

Cullen could smell the soap that Kiaya had brought back from Val Royeaux, the only thing she had spent coin on for herself, Cass had said. It was unique and perfectly Kiaya, a gentle floral scent with a wild tang underneath.  Her breathe was sweetened with the whisky she had been drinking.  He could feel her shaking and he realized what Cassandra had been worried about was true. As he stared at the top of her head, memorizing the freckles that were scattered across her forehead, breathing her into his soul, Cullen realized that there was nothing he wouldn’t do for her.

Kiaya sighed against Cullen’s chest and leaned closer into him for a moment, “I am sorry I left before I could apologize for how I acted the last time we spoke,”  Kiaya’s words petered out as Cullen placed his fingers under her chin and raised her face so he could look her in the face again.

“I want to apologize as well, but maybe not tonight,” Cullen stared into the grey-green universe that was in Kiaya’s eyes.  It took a great force of will to step away from her.  “Tonight we are just two soldiers fighting in the same war, sharing a campfire and a drink.” Cullen uncorked the bottle and took a drink.  He smiled softly at the happiness blooming on her face, her eyes shining like stars as she gazed up at him.

“Now, why don’t you get cleaned up and I will see what we have?”

“Cleaned up?  What do you mean?” Kiaya looked down at her clothes, they were a little dusty but not bad for a day in the woods.

Cullen’s smirk widened at her confusion.  

“Why are you looking so smug?” Kiaya demanded, placing her hands on her hips.  Cullen started to laugh at the proud tilt of her head as his eyes traced the large charcoal smudges running across Kiaya’s forehead, nose and cheeks.

“Varric calls you ‘Smudges’ doesn’t he?”

“I have smudges all over my face don’t I?”

“Yes, you do.”

“Fuck.”

And there you have it folks, a deeper look in to Kiaya.  Thanks for reading.  If you would like to check out the rest then you can find them at he link below.

Kiaya’s Art; A Group of Writing & Drawing Dabbles

Feel free to re-blog, I would love that.  But please, respect my work.  Don’t Steal it.