#but also i acknowledge his sacrifices
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Say what you want about Nicky but he is seriously the strongest soldier. Mans gave up his whole life to take care of his two cousins, one of which is openly homophobic and the other being Andrew Minyard. That's love bitch.
#say what you want about nicky means yes do hold him accountable for his actions#but also i acknowledge his sacrifices#like damn#i dont know a lot of ppl who would do that#also lets not start the aaron homophobia discourse#pls#aftg#all for the game#nicky hemmick#aaron minyard#andrew minyard
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I think we should acknowledge the fact that when kai comes back from the nether-space, dude is probably not gonna be okay both mentally and physically
like, being trapped in a place like the nether-space that has so many identical shapes everywhere, basically a maze that has no way out, with no food or water for what seems like a few weeks will definitely drain him by alot. plus, if he also fights the forbidden five while in there, he'll just drain himself even more. there is no way he's gonna come back out of there without atleast being a bit tired physically and mentally
#ninjago#ninjago dragons rising#ninjago kai#nether space#levi's ted talks#I hope they acknowledge that in the show itself even if it's lightly done#like there's no way he's gonna come back out of there the way he was before he was thrown in as a sacrifice#also. it calls for great kai angst 👍#like- imagine finally getting your brother back#finally getting your mentor back#but he's not the same as before#he wasn't as energetic as before. not as happy as before. he's not *himself*. and is very tired out from everything that had happened#they got him back- but only his body#and the road to getting the kai they knew back will be a long one
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wild to me to see posts like "wow everything in the tempest is named after shakespeare...emet you melodramatic bitch you sure loved theater". because the prospero-emet thing gets played up so hard in the english script and you can carry it so far!
like prospero is an asshole magician who, after being deposed by his brother as duke of milan, settles himself and his daughter on a remote island, enslaves the local spirits using his magic, and bitterly plots to reclaim his past glories. he rules through violence and deceit, and only survives and is reconciled when his plots reach their fruition and his brother is taken to his remote island and plots ensue and everyone decides he was totally right all along and they were huge dicks to him and they're sooooo sorry and he gets to go back and be duke again wow! and it's okay because he's like "i was only doing mean magic to get my rightful spot back and now i'm giving it up because magic is evil. :)"
the tempest is what emet wants his life to be. prospero is not a villain in the text of the tempest. he is barely treated as antagonistic by the text and framing of the play itself. all his abuses, his neglect and control of his daughter, his enslavement of caliban and ariel (local spirits/monsters/people of the island), his deception and plots against his brother, his abuse of magical powers (not awesome, from the pov of the contemporary audience), all that ultimately gets swept aside in the rightness of his return to milan and the warm feeling of the world being set to rights. prospero can't undo the years he spent on the island but they are ultimately a blip in his life before he returns to the rightful state of affairs. his abuse and enslavement of caliban, easily the worst thing he does in the play, is totally set aside when caliban goes "wow now i see how truly benevolent my master is. i love him and see the ways of christian good and i'm so, so appreciative he chose not to kill or beat me even though he totally could have and would have been in the right. he's so just and intelligent." everyone loves and forgives him and they all agree both his management of the island and his ultimate return are so good and so wise and so right.
emet comparing himself to the tempest (or being compared to it, depending on how you want to read the diegetic status of the place names) is absolute wishcasting. it is an attempt to manifest the happy ending he will never, ever get because his sins cannot and would not be forgiven in the way he wants. he wants to imagine himself as the righteous returned duke whose crimes, including the enslavement, abuse, and exploitation of those he saw as his rightful inferiors, were totally worth it, i promise. and if emet is prospero, the warrior of light is his caliban.
#emet-selch#ffxiv#hades#shadowbringers spoilers#like by the time you get to the end you've already spoken to the amaurotine shades and hythlodaeus in particular#it's incredibly clear that even if emet's plans come to fruition he is *utterly alien to the world he is trying to restore*#and like prospero is restored in the end. but his wife is still dead. miranda grew up isolated and alone.#also to take a somewhat more jaundiced view#the things he did to caliban and to ariel can never be undone. that stain is with him forever.#and i mean even IF you can just yank all those souls right out of zodiark and fix the whole thing#there's still everyone who died before the first sacrifice and after the second. also THE VOID IS THE VOID.#'yeah uh we'll just fix that. when zodiark is up and running properly.'#sure dude i totally believe your expertise on the problem you caused by not knowing enough. you definitely know enough now.#anyways he can't waver for even a moment bc it means acknowledging he has betrayed everything he ever claimed to believe in due to his grie#he is in blood stepped so far etc. if i can be allowed to mix my shakespeares#emet-selch more like emet-sunk cost fallacy#meta: durai report
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Macaque would be happy if his final death was due to wukong turning around.
Macaque main motive is that he wants to be important to wukong, friend or foe, he wants to matter to him. I truly feel that in canon, macaque is less mad about his death, and more mad that in the end he was nothing to wukong. Season 5 he hears indirectly wukong trusts him, he matters to him, and he jumps to the rescue. So yeah, having evidence in the end that he matters, would comfort him.
yes, it would comfort him, but Macky is also way too aware of the other relationships Wukong has compared to their own. he would be comforted by the fact that he is still someone Wukong would fight for and turn back to, but by s5, Macky recognizes and respects Wukong's relationship with MK
#possibly contrasting how he didn't respect swk's relationship with the pilgrims in jttw#in my mind: i see mack's anger from the sacrifice not being a 'oh you trade your life NOW' but rather a 'there are OTHERS out there for you#he appreciates it truly#and he is way too self aware to understand how much this means to him and swk#but also he's of the attitude that this should not be about him#does this make sense?#i know this concept is laser focused on shadowpeach#but i feel like there should still be an acknowledgment of mk because of how close he is to swk#like in s5 mac gave swk an opening to trade HIS life in mk's stead#while everyone else was grieving mk. mac was grieving swk#idk i'm sorry if this is derailing from the concept#shadowpeach#asks#lmk#lmk sun wukong#lmk six eared macaque
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there’s a question to be asked i think about to what extent “getting out” can be conflated with “being saved” in this show, and what freedom actually means to any of these characters.
like you can argue that shiv saved ken by voting against him on gojo, but what if your intent behind saving someone is to inflict a worse punishment than if you’d just left them trapped? can a child weaned on poison survive on milk, or are you just sentencing them to a death by inches, starved of the only thing they know? and if you save someone specifically because you know that being saved is the worst thing that can happen to them, is that kindness or cruelty? at what point does a good thing become a malicious act?
and you can say that roman is finally free, but what exactly is he free from? the company? his father? does unlocking a cage mean saving a dog, or are you allowing him out on the street knowing there’s a kill shelter nearby? if the driving anxiety behind roman is that he’s an idiot and a failure—that he’ll never amount to anything, and trying will only lead to pain—and he’s finally cut loose once all of those anxieties have crystallized into cold hard fact in his mind, what has he actually escaped from? if the cage is in your mind, is it even possible for somebody else to unlock it?
the fundamental truth of a tragedy is that even being saved can be a death sentence, if the characters are incapable of escaping the thing doing them the most harm (themselves and their childhoods)
#'what about shiv' if i think about shiv i'm going to kill myself. she needs her own post. there's too much there to get into.#anyways seeing a tremendous amount of At Least Roman Is Free <3 tags that have me going. right. for sure. free from what?#because it's certainly not the intense amount of self disgust that has driven him in circles this entire time.#i fear he may feel the weight of alienation on his soul for the rest of his life. and he won't even try to alleviate it anymore.#and ALSO the idea that shiv went out of her way to save kendall as an act of like. altruism. like it was a sacrifice on her part#which i feel is a very toothless perspective on shiv and the psychological torment that's been weighing on her essentially since birth#like her choice in regards to gojo is one of the meatiest most harrowing bits of character work i've ever seen#and while of course there was love inside that action (because nothing these characters do is entirely divorced from love)#i don't think it was necessarily a kind or forgiving or sacrificial love#like this was an intense vitriolic snapping from a dog that has been kicked by her dad all her life.#and who absolutely refuses to accept that from her brother (because that would mean acknowledging that kendall takes the mantle of Dad-#and that she's subservient to him. which is the one thing she absolutely will never do#because it's a level of degradation that's finally a step too far)#anyways. um. insane season that i still can't look at directly or i'll perish on the spot.#succession
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I genuinely think that Lae'zel would be Ulder's biggest hater out of all the companions.
Like, her big thing is that she believes the figures of authority should have faith in and reward those who follow them, otherwise they do no deserve their followers. It's the main reason she breaks with the Vlaakith so readily--the Vlaakith betrayed Lae'zel first by not holding up her end of their relationship as god and devotee so now Lae'zel will join a rebellion to overthrow her with a new, nicer god-king to devote her life and spirit to. She's pretty firmly in the camp of giving your entire self to a person or cause, but only if that person or cause gives something back and respects the sheer entirety of what you're giving.
We also see this with how Lae'zel often comments approvingly of other companions breaking with their own abusive mentors/parents/gods and is often openly critical of those authorities exploiting their underlings. I think her belief in this best exemplified by her dialogue when Gale is asked by Mystra to blow himself up. She essentially says Mystra does not deserve Gale because she lacks faith in him and that Gale deserves better than a god who returns his devotion with the callous dismissal of his life.
(That dialogue is also when I began loving Lae'zel despite her abrasiveness. She respects herself and knows her own worth so well, and thinks others should see it in themselves too, to the point of dismissing the demands of a god because the god clearly doesn't respect the life and worth of their follower. For her, the idea that a mortal life is worth little to a god and can be treated as such is not a given, and in fact is an injustice)
And the problem I'd think she'd have with Ulder isn't anything he did during the game, but prior to it. Because Ulder's reactions are, I hate to say it, reasonable if harsh if one truly believes Wyll is a power-hungry warlock (or perhaps just an idiot) who made a deal with a fiend (though, considering the kinds of people Baldur's Gate welcomes on the regular, what Ulder himself has done in the past, perhaps the exile was a major overreaction). But what it took to reach that conclusion, that's what I think Lae'zel would have a problem with,
Because Ulder has no real evidence either way what motivated Wyll to make this pact and we know that devils often prey on the desperate. Raphael outright states that they often go after people who have no choices left and offer them one. It shows a startling lack of faith in Wyll that Ulder would just assume he had no good reason to make the pact. Because he's just assuming! The only people who knows what happened are Mizora (a devil) and Wyll (who's not talking, who can't talk about it), and his son who so far has been nothing but good and loyal to his father and city shows up with a missing eye, a pact with a devil, and an empty field that is quite frankly suspicious in how Wyll clearly was trying to show him something that's no longer there and he's not explaining despite clearly wanting to--
Lae'zel would be absolutely incensed at the lack of faith Ulder demonstrated in his son in that moment, at how Wyll's love and fidelity was repaid with doubt the moment things got hard. All Ulder had was very suspicious circumstance and the word of a devil and suddenly that's enough to banish his son? No, fuck that. Lae'zel knows Wyll as a good and noble man, knows that even his new devil-like looks were gained through selflessness and nobility, knows that Wyll loves his father even now even if she thinks Ulder lost the right to that love. She would rip Ulder to shreds in her usual blunt and direct way and it would be glorious to witness.
#bg3#I think Lae'zel should've been the one to tell Ulder they should've let him drown#I think that'd be very in character of her to say#like yes she'd save Ulder for Baldur's Gate and for Wyll and probably because on some level she wants Wyll to get#what she cannot from the Vlaakith. an apology and acknowledgement of their sacrifice and loyalty#BUT. she'd also tell Ulder straight to his face that he failed Wyll and why so he doesn't do it again
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Foolish and Cellbit lore makes me crazy because their characters are very much influenced by the entities they each have chosen, and it comes in to play in key moments. It influences their desires and their actions significantly.
Foolish, who makes sacrifices to the Chaos entity constantly. Who is his usual silly, impulsive self, and then takes it a step further, thinking ‘what would Chaos enjoy?’ Not looking twice before jumping, living and thriving in chaos and unpredictability, even if it is at the cost of his health and well-being. Especially if it’s at the cost of others. He tries to play each side of the conflict, sometimes for whatever will benefit him directly, the rest of the time just by seemingly flipping a coin and going one way or the other for shits and giggles. He starts conflicts and he fans the flames because he wants to see the fallout. He leans into the chaos without a second thought.
Cellbit, who’s a little more subtle, but the effects are still there. He cannot find a single thread on the island without having to find the other end. He takes on the problems and mysteries of everyone else on top of his own. He keeps back to eavesdrop at any opportunity when he says he’s leaving a conversation. He digs his grave as a double agent in the federation, not only to sabotage, but because he cannot stand the idea of a mystery being out there that he can’t figure out. It costs his sanity, it costs his time, it gives him gray hair and puts him in constant danger, it piles on so much work and responsibility on him, it’s a large part of why he feels so alone on the island - and yet he wouldn’t have it any other way. Because who else would know what to do in the face of such puzzles?
The knowledge entity pushes Cellbit to seek that knowledge, damn the cost. His biggest weakness is that he cannot let anything lie - he has to solve whatever is put in front of him, because he has to know, it doesn’t matter what or why in some cases. Just as Foolish is always pushed to leave things to chance, because the unpredictability is exciting, enticing - even when the answer to a problem is obvious and he could easily take action to get the best known outcome.
#their entities are like itches they can’t help but scratch yknow. foolish literally can’t go long without making a sacrifice to chaos jgjsjf#Cellbit’s biggest fear and tragedy of being alone is half caused by knowledge. his endless pursuit of answers to everything#not just certain things but everything. he leaves no stone unturned. he can’t leave a single mystery be#also like. can we talk abt how knowledge probably also doesn’t help Cellbit’s paranoia. In general his paranoia is valid (fuck the Feds)#but like. not having knowledge on smth? definitely drives it up to 100000#the rooms and entities are mostly just Cellbit showing off ordem paranormal yknow it’s all for fun for the most part. but to have their#characters acknowledge it and let it influence their desires and motives and actions? SO tasty#I really have to watch ordem paranormal btw to get more understanding because I just got base level yknow but like. oughhhdhhhh it’s so good#mcyt#qsmp#foolish#cellbit#q!foolish#q!cellbit#chaos#knowledge#z speaks
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slightly hot take (?) but personally i felt the reactions in ep 17 were all in-character and justified... don't have the time to get into it, but it boils down to the fact that knowing something logically =/= knowing it emotionally
#star stumbles#fangs of fortune#大梦归离#cdrama#people saying zhuo yichen was self-righteous when i really thought his speech to zhu yan was perfect#because it's basically saying that 'death is easy for you' and also acknowledging that him dying now would make ying zhao's sacrifice in va#*vain#like we all fought to save you so you have to live for another month regardless#and honestly 100% understand zhu yan too like he has no say in the matter and his existence is truly miserable (which zhuo yichen fully#recognizes let's be clear)#but i think it all comes down to the weapon and intention#like all weapons are made intentionless almost#in as much as a weapon can be. since weapons are made to destroy and go against nature even in the most small ways (cutting things#killing / protection / defense etc)#but even though the weapon must be wielded by someone to do harm#even though it is intentionless on it's own. that doesn't mean that the sight of the weapon does not inspire fear or hatred in the hearts o#those hurt by it#innocence or not#wen xiao and zhuo yichen both witnessed the horrible deaths of their loved ones...knowing that zhu yan wasn't the “true” killer doesn't#absolve him of the fact that malicious energy in his body killed them. like they're allowed their slightly emotional reactions to seeing hi#like that again & wen xiao doubly for finding out the real circumstances#i have no doubt she'll grow and forgive him to an extent but she's allowed to have her state of no forgiveness but also no hatred#ep 17
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Me connecting invisible dots that weren’t meant to be connected at all: Maybe another reason Sokka is really firm towards Iroh when he asks for help to save Zuko from Azula in BSS is because Iroh had pointed out to Yue that she had been ‘touched by the moon spirit’, to which was the catalyst of Yue sacrificing herself to give that life back. While Sokka hates to think of his sister or family or new friends dying because of the loss of the moon spirit, he still lost Yue, and there’s a part of him in his young heart that resents Iroh for bringing up Yue’s gift, because it was the moment that led to his loss of her.
#atla meta#Me? Still on the train regarding Iroh's presence and his connections to Yue's sacrifice?#ye#also this is NOT!!!! meant to be any kind of anti reading#especially not towards Sokka#once Iroh brought up that she had some of the moon spirit's life in her#she made her choice#and all Sokka could do was watch#the idea guy couldn't come up with a way to prevent losing her#because there was no time#I can imagine later at the White Lotus camp Sokka finally talks to Iroh about it and Iroh acknowledges Yue's sacrifice#she was braver than Iroh could ever hope to be#and Sokka was a lucky guy to have known the love of a girl so willing to lay down her life to spare the world of a nasty fate#and Iroh apologizes to Sokka personally for everything#for everything Iroh and his family put Sokka through by damaging his own family and tribe and life#lmao I'm rambling again but sdjfksdjf when I find little moments like this that tie two characters together I just#skdjflsdkjsf
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about your pinned post, specifically this part: "he [tsuchigomori] can change amane's future but chooses not to". where did you get the idea that tsuchigomori can change amane's past from? unlike the clock keepers, tsuchigomori's powers don't grant him control over the past, present, or future. he is able to know everything that has happened and will happen, and is able to use that knowledge to intervene, which would change the future. but we have no reason to think he can alter the past. now that it's happened, there is nothing tsuchigomori can do to help. the only way tsuchigomori could've possibly helped was if he'd noticed that amane's future changed back when it happened, when amane was still alive, but tsuchigomori had no reason to think amane's future would change back then. so, i don't think it's fair to say that tsuchigomori is choosing not to help amane, when it's impossible for him to do anything at this point.
I was using his own words, the ones he voiced out to Nene himself.
About Amane's future:
Well, he said he pretended to care for student Amane to keep his 'human image', but we know deep down he did care. But that care was not enough for him to pay much attention to what was going with Amane, thinking it all will end well and that's it, reading his future part in his book. Seeing the moment Amane's future changed, while he didn't (maybe didn't manage to) do a thing had him regretting it, the moon rock became his yorishiro and he became No.5.
Hanako is another issue, the talk there was about alive Amane, we don't know if he might actually be able to give Hanako a future if he wanted. Maybe he can't, but if he can, then well, his care and regret together are also not enough for him to give up on himself, yet again. But I assume it's the first case. Either way, it's his right to choose, no one forces him to give up on himself for someone.
And certainly, according to his words to Nene, he might care for some people a lot, but not enough for him to give on his own existence to change their future.
A best example after alive Amane's case, is Alive! Nene's herself. He knows about her future
and "fatal/as he puts it" death,
can do a thing about it, according to his own words over his power of changing a person's future, he cares for her,
But simply, not enough for him to step into changing her future, and giving up on himself.
Unlike Amane's case, he knows death, no future, await her really soon.
Although I assume, AidaIro won't leave such power for No.5 to hold hanging in the air like that with no use. Maybe at some point, he will find it in himself to sacrifice himself to change one's future, maybe Nene's, resulting in changing many others to the better in the progress, Amane's and maybe Tsukasa's included, since they are deeply affected by Nene. He'll be saving many, with choosing the right one future to change.
This, is just a thought, it might not really happen, but I'm sharing it, for nice Tsuchigomori's sake. To be fair to him. Even when the words he voices show such uncare, we will say we see deep down into him, and find him to really care.
#ask#uhhh... my pinned post isn't about Tsuchigomori. he simply was mentioned to reinforce an idea.#the idea is to show the one we saw with our own eyes to actually sacrifice himself for his brother's happiness and future#without any sort of hesitation. without regret. without ever saying I don't want to. with a smile on his face.#to admire that about him. to value his existence and nature#to respect such amazing little brother#that's the main point of the pinned post#I'm happy to see people loving Tsuchigomori this much and call for a fair treatment for him.#the same goes with a person to love Tsukasa over here. some fairness. acknowledgement and respect for this boy. please.#he is not only the boy to sacrifice himself and own future for alive Amane to have a possible future#but also the boy to want to sacrifce his existence yet again for Hanako. a ghost to believe he no longer has a future to fight for#yet Tsukasa wants to gift him with it regardless. that gives him an extra point. many other characters lack.
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I think one of my fav fics had Jason like loving his mom deeply right- but also had him being like , that was not a good place for a child and she made some mistakes but she loved me and I love her ,
Cause like that’s what growing up is.. seeing your parents as humans ya? (Plus it paralleled his relationship with Bruce and stuff v good)
YES! EXACTLY!! everyday I'm.begging dc stans to understand imperfect parents shouldn't equate bad parents.
#ofc i know Catherine made mistakes but for me it's so disheartening to think abt bc I KNOW its so rooted into apathy for drug addicts#you can absolutely feel pain for jason due to his environment while understanding catherine:#a) did not have the resources nor the help to do something abt it due to the corruption in gotham making it impossible for poverty striken#neighbours to better itself. b) she died before she COULD#not to mention the outside influences jason CANONICALLY hated more than any drug. you can also acknowledge all the good sacrifices and love#and effort she made for him. trying to give him something in a system where they're NOTHING.#catherine was jason's batman before bruce#and in addition to that-- im kinda tired with dc stans rejecting any parental figure thats not cutter cookie perfect#you wont fucking get that in dc#asks
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Ford and Stan and Bill are all characters of all time to me in different ways
#stan starts out as a comedic character but from the start they set something up with him and he becomes one of the most important and#emotionally loaded characters in the show#bill is funny and morbid and usually morbidly entertaining but also he is so much more complex than many people acknowledge and I will brin#up that hes actually a tragic villain who makes me want to eat drywall all the time#ford. ford is ford. doomed by the narrative. gifted kid swag. loves his family deeply despite isolating himself and being ready to throw#his own life away in sacrifice. ex-besties with the worst fucking guy in the universe. SO much unresolved shit between him and his twin#brother. suffered more than jesus. theres so much
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this man named micheal on jstor is claiming that igor golomstock one of the most seminal and well respected scholars on totalitarian art is entirely wrong about there being a hereditary link between earlier futurist/avant garde movements and the development of total realism. like what the explanation golomstock provides is clear cut and logical and is backed up by historical evidence. revolutionary trends in art are co opted by the developing state in order to sway public opinion and then as it gains control it starts to dismiss this progressive style as immoral and fearmongering, and turn to conservative methods (ie. realism in every case) to legitimise itself by co-opting the longest and simplest artistic tradition AND to bypass cultural boundaries as the most literal expression of totalitarian goals. like the change is traceable and representative of how the totalitarian state develops... micheal i think you have egg on your face... his only evidence is "futurism and realism look so different!" hes totally ruined his previously very interesting study of popular perceptions of islamic art. SAD. oh well there are other articles
#sometimes i forget a lot of historiography is just opinions#personal#i wish i had the confidence to just start publishing whatever i wanted like this guy#OH I ALSO READ THIS CRACKPOT THEORY ABOUT THE ARA PACIS#god that book was incredible it was like#an old man in italy told me that even though i have no classical knowledge base there have#been no advancements in the field since i shared my theory years ago. also do not read if your mind is not unfettered.#i write only for those who are unafraid to push boundaries. this is why i have thanked myself in all caps in my acknowledgements section#and then his theory was literally “the ara pacis has been demolished and mussolini reconstructed it entirely.” based on incredible#evidence like “its so small... where did they sacrifice animals” and “how can there be a picture of its own inaugration on the outside”#and “this measurement comes out to exactly a metre. must be modern” and then over the book he slowly lost confidence in his theory#until eventually he changed it to something far more reasonable about architectural preservation and pretended he didnt say all that
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What are you the patron saint of?
patron saint of blood
patron saint of the life that flows through our bodies. patron saint of violence. patron saint of love. something that does not watch over but exists within: not for protection but for vitality. there is no passion without a beating heart at its core. when that heart breaks open, someone has to be responsible for what it bleeds.
tagging: whoever wants to
#( guest muse / darron waters ) i wear the stains on my name like armor.#( darron seeing his spilling blood in the name of family as his life's purpose#desperate to defend the people he cares about and being absolutely ruthless and merciless at it#but also just wanting some approval and affection#just a kind word and a gentle touch to know he's doing the right thing and his sacrifices are acknowledged#his own love for a family he doesn't truly belong to burning so unconditionally#spilling blood for it without hesitation#but the blood of others and his own )
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tbh im kinda mad i wasnt the one to end things bc now that i dont have rose tinted glasses on im looking back on some of the shit he did and said and im like genuinely pissed off
#Whatever though teeheed.#no ok sry the fact he started flat out ignoring me never talking to me barely a month after i Moved across the country for him#and then had the gall to ask if he could flirt with other girls. fuck off sry lol#maybe Acknowledge the girlfriend you already have b4 you go trying to fuck your coworker. But whatevrr#im glad hes able to move on and be happy but its rly hammering in the fact that i was the only one making sacrifices for the relationship.#looking back through the years at all the times i was like I feel like i care abt him so much more than he cares abt me ! lol#idk. i had been thinking abt ending it for fucking months (pretty much as soon as he started ignoring me) but i couldnt bc i had to worry#abt him kicking me out LOL. which was founded bc he tried to tell me to get out september 1st as if im not on the lease#and he changed his mind bc 'that wasnt rly much time for you to get prepared you can stay until the lease is up' but like. i know its just#bc he didnt wanna pay an extra 170 rent a month. god#sorry ik this is like. immature. but ive also made like 1 other post vaguely abt the situation so i dont think im being lke. crazy
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Always Forever (Coriolanus Snow x Reader)
Word count: 8.2K
Summary: coriolanus finally lets himself acknowledge that he can’t stand to see you with anyone but him
Tags: (18+), cw: dubcon, cw: noncon, pseudo!incest (not related, reader raised with the snows), dark!coriolanus, pre-mentor era, jealousy/obsession/possessiveness, oral (f receiving), fingering, p in v sex, fear of getting caught, lots of drama for my lovely readers
A/N: second coryo fic and it’s somehow longer than the last one lol. only one part. pls read the tags and proceed with caution 🫶
Misc masterlist + main masterlist
“Look at you, you look so pretty!” Tigris beamed, adjusting the straps of your dress. “Doesn’t she, Coryo?”
In his peripheral, Coriolanus could see his cousin had turned to look at him expectantly, but his eyes were already on you. They always had been, and always would be.
“Yes, she does,” he replied without thought.
You faced him with a smile, and Coriolanus couldn’t help the pride that swarmed him just looking at you.
It was because of him that you were in his life, and until the day he died Coriolanus knew it would remain the best decision he ever made.
As children during the war, when he and Tigris would scavenge the streets, Coriolanus stumbled across you. Not much younger than him, huddled behind a pillar, all alone. You had a half a loaf of bread. It wasn’t fresh, but he still didn’t understand where you got it. You tore it in half and shared it with him.
He returned to Tigris with you in tow, his small hand clutching your even smaller one, and his cousin took pity.
She also took the brunt of the consequence for bringing home another mouth to feed, but sacrifices had to be made, didn’t they?
It was worth it. You were worth it to him—to both of them, really.
As you got older, Grandma’am eventually took a liking to you, although Coriolanus wondered if it was because she could see how much he cared for you.
It didn’t matter. Not really. You were part of the family now, even if you did not share the Snow name.
“Thank you, Tigris,” you said sweetly, pulling the older girl into a hug.
It was a big day for both you and Coriolanus. The academy was hosting an event for students to mingle with administration and alumni of the university.
Coriolanus had put on his best outfit—he already knew it was the same one he was going to wear when the Plinth Prize winner was announced in only a few weeks. He was sure it was going to be him.
Tigris had fashioned your dress by hand. Coriolanus was past questioning how she paid for her fine fabrics, but he had an inclination it was the same way they could suddenly afford food some days.
The long dress reminded Coriolanus of freshly fallen snow, the white holding a sense of purity and wealth that his family once had. It had a sense of elegance that you only furthered with donning it, but it lacked an extravagance that would force you to stand out.
It was perfect.
You parted from Tigris to approach Coriolanus. You had a light smile on your face as your hands ran down his black vest, adjusting it.
“We almost match,” you commented, referring to the white shirt beneath said vest. “If only I had something black.”
“Well, I’d let you borrow this, but then we’d be in the same position, only switched,” he teased lightly, drawing a small chuckle from you.
Coriolanus liked when you looked up at him, same as he liked hearing your laugh.
“Don’t worry, I’ll survive without.” Your hands fell to your sides. “Besides, it definitely looks more handsome on you.”
Hearing those words from you meant more than you’d ever know, and more than he’d let himself acknowledge.
You were so good to him, he couldn’t imagine spending the evening with anyone else.
When he walked into the ballroom of the academy with you on his arm, Coriolanus got a rush of power. Especially when heads turned. Looking at him, looking at you, just looking.
He wondered what the minds behind all those gazing eyes were thinking.
He hoped it was a balanced amount of envy and respect.
“We should find Sejanus, let him know we’re here,” you said, not thinking much of the sentence as you looked around the room, taking in the people and the decor.
Coriolanus thought everything of it, a sourness settling over him. Sejanus was his friend, but Coriolanus wished they hadn’t gotten as close as they did. It was because of his friendship with Sejanus that you met him, and began to develop… feelings for him.
God, Coriolanus hated to even think about it.
When you told him you had begun dating Sejanus, Coriolanus nearly had a heart attack. Then he felt violent. Not towards you. Never towards you.
It wasn’t just because he felt protective of you, or because Sejanus was district, or because Coriolanus knew you were far, far too good for his friend… it was everything. All of that and everything in between.
Before you could find him, Sejanus found you.
He was in a fine black suit, finer than anything Coriolanus owned, and a bright smile appeared on his face at the sight of you.
That was one thing they still had in common. Reverence for you.
“Had to come find my girl before everyone thinks she ditched me,” Sejanus joked, pulling a laugh from you. “Where have you guys been?”
“Making sure we look our best,” you replied, shooting Coriolanus a wink.
If Sejanus wasn’t reaching for you, Coriolanus might’ve smiled.
“Well, you did a wonderful job.”
Coriolanus let you slip away from his side, reluctantly giving you away to Sejanus.
The unfortunate thing was Sejanus was truly a decent person. Not perfect, but decent. Better than most, even if he was beneath you all. You cared nothing for status, and seemed to really like him. He treated you right from what Coriolanus had seen, making disapproval not exactly warranted.
Although, Coriolanus was always going to be incredibly protective of you. He doubted there was a world where he would be pleased with any relationship you found. Your interest in other people was becoming tiresome, truthfully. Did you really even need friends? Or lovers? You had Coriolanus, and he was sure that was enough.
His jaw clenched when you pressed a light kiss to Sejanus’s cheek. It would be much simpler if he was a terrible person. Coriolanus would have an excuse outside of his own selfishness to separate you—which he did not have now.
“Can I ask for this dance?” Sejanus wondered, shooting you a smile. At least he had the awareness to still look anxious.
But you… you grinned. You were too good.
“Well you just asked, so I guess you can,” you started sarcastically, but let him off the hook quickly. “And of course I’ll say yes.”
Sejanus looked relieved, taking your hand in his. You turned to look at Coriolanus, a small bit of guilt in your expression. You clearly hadn’t been planning on leaving his side so soon. You masked it with the same teasing tone you’d used before.
“I won’t be long, don’t get too bored without me, Coryo.”
Coriolanus only smiled for your sake. It fell the moment Senjanus led you away to a small group of other students dancing together.
From the sidelines, Coriolanus watched as Sejanus led you in a slow dance. He tried to avoid his eyes landing on his friend. He didn’t want to view the two of you in the same light as the other couples embracing one another.
Coriolanus tried to remember the first moment he realized how beautiful you were. It was so long ago, it wasn’t something he was even aware he thought so often.
The sun rose in the morning, roses had thorns, and you were beautiful.
It was simple as that.
After a dance and a half, Coriolanus couldn’t take it anymore.
His feet carried him to the dance floor, mind absent as he tried to justify his jealousy as protectiveness. Yes, that’s all he was. Protective. Like an older brother… like what he was supposed to be. Even if it wasn’t what he wanted to be.
You and Sejanus were swaying and talking, but as he snuck up on the two of you, Coriolanus couldn’t make out the words. It didn’t matter.
You turned your head to look at him, smiling in surprise at his presence.
“Coryo!”
“Can I cut in?” Coriolanus requested. His hand itched to rest on your shoulder, but he withheld. He wasn’t going to take no for an answer, and he briefly wondered if Sejanus sensed that or not.
“All yours,” Sejanus agreed, spinning you by the hand. You turned in a circle, then a half, facing Coriolanus. “I’m going to go find my father, he’s here tonight,” he informed.
“I’ll come find the two of you in a few minutes,” you told Sejanus, who nodded then headed off. Before he did, he looked to Coriolanus and said, “Take good care of her.”
“I always do,” Coriolanus responded easily, because it was the truth. He didn’t need Sejanus telling him that. He’d been there for you long before either of you even knew his friend existed. He looked down to you, taking your hand in his while the other fell to your waist. You looked amused. “I do, don’t I?”
“Yes, Coryo,” you replied with a smile. “Better than anyone.”
The slow waltz felt so natural, your movements in tune with his without thought. You two were always like that, always in sync.
“What were you and Sejanus talking about?” Coriolanus wondered, curiosity getting the best of him.
“Nothing important,” you dismissed with a shrug. “Sweet nothings.”
Coriolanus didn’t miss the shy smile appearing on your face. He couldn’t control the frown trying to take over his.
A more thoughtful look crossed your face, your smile faltering.
“Are you happy for me, Coryo?”
Coriolanus blinked.
“I… want to be,” he confessed, eyes scanning your face. It was the truth for the most part. He did want you to be happy, just not with Sejanus.
You nodded slowly, taking in his words. Coriolanus wished he could open your head and investigate every corner of your brain. He wanted to know every thought you had.
“Sejanus is your friend, I would’ve thought…” you swallowed and looked away. “Never mind.”
“No, what is it?” Coriolanus pressed, tilting his head, trying to make you meet his gaze.
When you did, he saw the disappointment in your eyes.
You stepped back from him, parting completely.
“I need to find Sejanus. I’ll put in a good word for you about the Plinth Prize with his father.”
Then, you departed, not leaving room for Coriolanus to argue for you to stay.
He would’ve, and you knew that.
The moment you disappeared from his view, Coriolanus went looking. You had moved quickly. He found you across the room, sitting down at a table with Sejanus and Mr. Plinth.
He didn’t approach, he couldn’t make himself look bad in front of Mr. Plinth.
So he watched you talk, and drink, and laugh, and drink some more…
“I can’t believe she’s doing this,” Arachne whispered, suddenly appearing at his side. Coriolanus looked down at her. She was clearly talking about you. He could see the way she flicked her heavily decorated eyes in your direction. “Associating with him was one thing, but… well”—Arachne let out a vicious laugh—“do you think their children will call her “Ma” too?”
Coriolanus felt ill at the thought. Leave it to Arachne to provoke him, to conjure up nightmares he hadn’t even thought of yet himself.
“She’ll come to her senses,” Coriolanus muttered, gritting his teeth.
Arachne rolled her eyes. “Let’s hope so,” she mused, continuing on her way, blood red dress dragging behind her with each step.
Coriolanus looked back to you. He was overwhelmed with nausea as Sejanus grabbed your hand atop the table. Damn Arachne for placing that thought in his head.
He watched as you lifted another glass to your lips, smiling along as Sejanus talked to his father. What was that, your third? Sejanus had yet to say anything to you. He was fine with allowing you to get intoxicated?
Drinking alcohol wasn’t exactly a crime, but Sejanus didn’t know you well enough to know you were inexperienced. The last thing Coriolanus wanted was you making a fool of yourself.
Darker thoughts crept in. Maybe Sejanus was allowing you to inebriate yourself on purpose. The thought of him climbing on top to you made Coriolanus’s blood boil. His fingers twitched to form a fist, and his jaw clenched even tighter.
In that moment, Coriolanus decided he wouldn’t let Arachne’s mockery come true.
He had to help you. You needed his protection, even when you didn’t know it. You needed him. You always would. Coriolanus could remind you, then perhaps you'd see you didn’t even need Sejanus at all.
When you left the table—Coriolanus wasn’t sure why—he saw his opportunity. He approached you quickly, finding no problem in catching your arm and leading you away from the party. Away from all the people, where it could just be the two of you.
Out a door, down a long, empty corridor until the two of you ended up outside in the school’s garden. It was isolated from the party, you’d be safer here.
“Coryo? What—“
“Are you alright?” Coriolanus asked, cutting you off. He released you to stand across from you, leaving you to lean back against the stone wall behind you. “I saw how much you were drinking.”
You looked up at him, confused, but not frightened. If anyone else had handled you the way he did, you surely would’ve been. But you trusted him. You always had.
“Did I drink a lot?” you asked, a slight pout on your lips. “I didn’t notice.”
“Oh.” So, you were okay. That was good, wasn’t it? “I thought maybe you needed rescuing,” he admitted, unsure whether to feel embarrassed or not.
You chuckled a little and the sound washed over Coriolanus, bringing him a sense of relief from all his previous tension.
“My hero,” you said lightly, smiling up at him. You were always smiling at him, but Coriolanus no longer wondered if he was worthy of it all. “You’re always there for me, aren’t you?”
Coriolanus stepped closer. His hand rose, his fingertips trailing the outline of your face. Someone so pretty, so sweet, had to be careful in a cruel world like this.
“What would you do without me?” he proposed, not expecting an answer.
You didn’t need one, because you never would have to find out.
He’d follow you to the end of the Earth, just as he knew you’d follow him. You needed each other. You didn’t need Tigris or Grandma’am and especially not Sejanus, but without Coriolanus, who would you even be? Coriolanus couldn’t imagine his world without you in it. Not even if he tried.
Staring at you now, Coriolanus heard the voice in the back of his mind begin to whisper. The one that urged his protectiveness, knowing it was fueled by possession. The one he would use all his power to silence.
Something new had overcome him, watching you galavant around with Sejanus. Well, not new, but clear. Coriolanus finally had clarity. That’s what it was. That was how he finally acknowledged what had so long been lingering in his peripheral, just on the edge of his mind, waiting for the right moment.
Was this the right moment?
He made no effort to banish his most repressed thoughts. For once, he let them win.
Coriolanus leaned down, pressing his lips to yours. Gentle, testing the waters. You did not react right away. Maybe it wasn’t necessarily a good sign, but that didn’t stop him from using it as an excuse to deepen the kiss.
His other hand found your face, holding you against him as he nipped at your lip, begging you to invite him in.
Your reaction was delayed, and Coriolanus thought maybe, just maybe, you had been thinking the same thing he had all along. That the faint taste of alcohol on your lips meant you were feeling more open to exploring this with him, and that all you needed was a nudge in the right direction.
But no, you were turning your head, making his lips part from yours.
Coriolanus faltered, but you still did not speak. Your breaths were clipped—flustered and confused. He could understand that. His own heart was racing, although adrenaline and need were to blame for that.
“Coryo…” you whispered so softly he nearly didn’t hear it. “What are you doing?”
Leave it to you to not get angry with him. Or even upset. At this point he questioned if you were even capable of feeling anger at him.
Coriolanus stepped closer, making you have to tilt your head up to look at him.
“I don’t think I can share you,” he confessed under his breath, but with conviction. “I know I can’t and you… you don’t need anyone else. You have me.”
You swallowed, eyes looking down. “Sejanus—“
“Doesn’t know you like I do,” Coriolanus finished, one hand still holding your cheek, tilting your head, making you meet his eye again. “Seeing you with him… he’s not good enough for you.”
“I thought you were above judging him for being district.” You sounded so disappointed in him.
“I don’t care that he’s district, he’s not good enough because no one will ever be,” Coriolanus corrected, imploring you to understand.
With a light sigh, his eyes fell shut. Gently, he leaned to press his forehead to yours. He blindly reached for your hands, and found them in each of his with no problem.
“I would not be happy seeing you with anyone else,” Coriolanus confessed, voice low. “Not anyone but me.”
You inhaled slightly. Was it that big of a shock?
He gave you no chance to voice it because Coriolanus was capturing your lips again, passion erupting in his veins.
His mind was clouded with thoughts that fought for center attention, his built up desires controlling him as his hands and lips cascaded down your body. Your neck, your chest, your stomach—
“Coryo, what are you doing?” you questioned when he began to move lower.
“Shh, don’t worry,” he cooed, dismissing your concern.
Coriolanus finally fell to his knees in front of you. He’d never take such a humiliating position for anyone else. But with you, it didn’t feel humiliating. It was exhilarating, knowing he was on his knees worshiping you, but he still held all the power. It was nearly perfect.
You gasped a little when he gripped your right leg and maneuvered it over his shoulder. More of your weight rested back against the wall, unable to stand straight on just one leg.
He looked upward, watching your face the entire time as he pushed your dress up around your hips, revealing your underwear to him.
Coriolanus was so close and you had yet to move.
Words couldn’t find their way to his lips. It was all too overwhelming in the best way. His heart slamming against his rib cage was a welcome feeling, and so was the pressure on his knees.
You bucked away before his mouth could reach your core. Coriolanus didn’t think much of it. He had a lot of other images rushing through his brain. Ones he wanted to become reality.
He scooted forward and tried again, this time making contact with the layer of fabric separating him from your most intimate spot.
Coriolanus heard a choked noise from you as he ran his tongue across the front of your underwear.
Right away, he wanted more.
His hands found the material acting as a barrier and he gripped it then pulled, tearing it from you one leg at a time, exposing you to him.
Before it could fall to the ground, he caught the shredded material and stuffed it into his pocket.
He felt a bit guilty, knowing how little you all had when it came to clothing, but he wanted to do this the right way. Coriolanus wanted nothing blocking him from showing you how good he could make you feel.
As much as his eyes were tempted to linger, impatience got the best of him.
He made contact again, licking a stripe across your bare cunt. Once he got a taste, Coriolanus couldn’t hold back.
His mouth latched onto you, tongue sliding between your folds, drawing a stifled moan from you. You reached for his head, trying to knock him away, but Coriolanus persisted. His will easily overtook yours. You weren’t going to take this away from him, not when he could make you want it just as bad.
He held onto the leg over his shoulder, gripping your flesh, surely leaving bruises in his wake. He held the skirt of your dress up with the other hand. With his mouth, he devoured you. Lapping at your core like a man starved, even more so when wetness began to form.
This wasn’t something Coriolanus had done, but he knew you better than anyone. He was sure he could figure out your body. He’d dreamt about it long enough, making you fall apart for him in such an intimate way.
He soon found that to be the truth when in only a matter of minutes your body was tensing. He continued to drag his tongue across you, giving every bit of you his full attention. He liked the way your thighs quivered when his tongue brushed your clit, it gave him an excuse to hold you tighter.
Your whole body flinched suddenly, but he shoved your hips back, pinning you to the wall as he brought you to the edge
His own pants felt constricted as his senses were overwhelmed by you. Your taste, your scent, the sound of your choked down moans, your hands smacking the wall (unsure what else to do), the feel of you against his tongue and how your leg strained over his shoulder, and the sight of you when he looked up through his lashes… god, you were magnificent.
You whimpered from above, teeth digging into your bottom lip, as he finally made you come undone.
Coriolanus held you still, relishing in the way you finally jolted into his touch instead of away.
He couldn’t take his eyes off of you. You were the stuff of dreams in the most literal sense.
Your head tilted back against the wall, your ragged breaths causing your chest to rise and fall in an unsteady pattern. Your leg, still draped over his shoulder, was tense, even as he pressed a gentle kiss to your inner thigh.
A wide grin spread across Coriolanus’s face when you shivered. He couldn’t help himself. He nearly chuckled at your state, but then your hand moved to rake through his wavy locks. The sound caught in his throat as you tugged him away, finally looking down at him. The all consuming pleasure had faded into something more composed.
Coriolanus could tell how much of an effort you were making, and as your eyes struggled to focus, he briefly wondered how strong your drinks were.
“I’d like to go home now,” you said slowly, conscious not to let your voice falter.
You allowed him to help get both to your feet on the ground, but you did not touch him for the rest of the night, even when he tried to reach for you.
He was still hard behind the confines of his pants, imagining the slickness between your thighs that was the result of his actions. As you walked back through the ballroom, it took everything he had to not push you back against a nearby wall. People be damned, he wanted you more than anything.
He would press his chest to your back—no, he’d make you face him. Coriolanus wanted access to your lips so he could kiss you as much as he liked, even swallow down your moans when he lifted your dress around your stomach and—
A shiver of excitement coursed through Coriolanus’s body. What would your darling Sejanus think if he knew what just transpired? If he knew it was only for your dignity that Coriolanus wasn’t fucking you against the wall hard enough that you forgot where you even were?
You silently bid the party a farewell, forgetting to say goodbye to Sejanus (Coriolanus made no attempts to remind you). You continued to ignore him, hardly speaking and not even looking his way. Not as you walked from the school to the apartment. Stumbling up the stairs, you only spoke to claim you were fine as you gripped the handrail for dear life. Then you went back to silence as you traveled from the front door to your bedroom and locked the door.
Coriolanus only found out about the door because he’d tried to follow you in, but the door knob did not budge. You never used your lock.
Even if you weren’t ready to finish what had been started, it was still incredibly cold. Were you really upset enough to deprive him of your presence until the morning?
“What’s going on with you?” Coriolanus asked through the layer of wood. The taste of you still lingered on his tongue as it traced his bottom lip, waiting for your response. “Can we talk? Can you open the door?”
He gripped the knob tighter and tried again. It wasn’t going to suddenly unlock, but something urged him to prove it.
There was a faint thud as his forehead fell to the door, much as it had to yours not too long ago.
“Can I at least say goodnight to you?”
Again, no response.
He swallowed. Cleared his throat.
Again.
“Please?”
If they could afford to fix it, Coriolanus would break the door down.
He wasn’t sure how long he stood outside your door before begrudgingly going to his own room.
He laid in his bed and fished the underwear from his pocket. Your scent still lingered on them, and it was enough to fuel his imagination as he unbuttoned his pants and pretended his own hand on his cock was yours.
Even after finishing, Coriolanus had a nearly sleepless night. His mind was plagued with memories of his lips on yours, your dress bunched around your hips, him on his knees with his mouth on your cunt. He’d never forget the sounds you made.
When the sun rose, he returned to your door, only to find it still locked. He didn’t even knock, just simply grabbed the door knob and twisted.
You always woke up early for school, putting yourself together in a way that could reflect wealth that you did not truly have. Coriolanus was sure you did it for his sake, knowing how much appearances mattered to him.
You were good to him like that.
If only you’d let him in now.
The laugh that escaped him lacked humor. It was a bitter, frustrated sound.
His hands rested on his hips, his own fingertips pressing in. It was that or gripping the door knob and if he touched that thing again and found it locked…
“This isn’t funny anymore, Y/N,” Coriolanus called through the door. “If there’s a problem we can talk about it. Just stop acting like a child.”
“What, did she steal your blazer again?” Tigris wondered, appearing out of nowhere. Despite her voice being soft with sleep, Coriolanus was still startled.
“No, just a minor disagreement,” Coriolanus replied, quick on his feet as always. “Nothing to worry about, I’m sure we’ll talk it out.”
He emphasized the word ‘talk’, hoping you’d hear him through the door. If you did, he wouldn’t know. Tigris, on the other hand, just nodded and headed for the kitchen.
The smile he gave his cousin on her way was forced. She couldn’t tell that his teeth were clenched together, which was for the best.
A thought dawned on him. You could just be testing him.
Coriolanus knocked on the door and waited, like he’d just solved your puzzle.
What was that thing about insanity—trying the same thing over and over and expecting a different result?
“You’re going to have to come out of your room at some point,” he reminded, trying his best to make it not sound like a warning.
Coriolanus wasn’t used to being frustrated with you. You were usually his relief from people who made him feel this way. He didn’t understand why everything changed all of the sudden.
You’d enjoyed yourself while he got what he wanted. Why was that so bad?
You had always been an enigma, but Coriolanus felt as if he’d come to understand you—that he was the only one who did or would.
Sejanus would never know you the way he did, that was for certain.
From in your room, Coriolanus heard movement. Your dresser opening, maybe. It didn’t matter. You were awake. And ignoring him.
“Y/N? I know you’re awake.” The neediness in his voice was embarrassing. No one else could make him resort to this. “I can hear you. Are you coming out?”
“What is going on?” Grandma’am questioned, standing at the end of the hall. “You aren’t dressed for school. We can’t have you being late.”
Coriolanus looked down at himself. He’d gone to sleep in the outfit he’d worn the night before, and still wore it now.
Arguments died in his throat. You and Coriolanus walked to the academy together. You’d have to come out and talk to him. Grandma’am would drive you crazy if you missed a day of classes.
In record time, Coriolanus was in his uniform.
He might’ve been quick, but apparently you were quicker. As he opened the door to his room, he heard the front door shut.
“Whatever you did, Coryo, apologize,” Tigris advised when he chased the sound of your exit.
Coriolanus just looked at her. Why on Earth would he do that? He’d done nothing wrong.
Down the stairs and out of the building, Coriolanus finally—finally—got a glimpse of you. A flash of red as you turned the corner, setting off down the sidewalk.
It took nothing for him to catch up to you.
“How are you feeling?” he wondered first, recalling your drunken state. “I was worried about you.”
“Were you?” you challenged, eyes forward.
It was good to hear your voice, but Coriolanus furrowed his brows at your tone. You had no reason to be this rude.
“Of course I was, Y/N. How can you even ask me that?” His hand dropped to your shoulder, only for you to shrug it away. “What is wrong with you?”
You looked at him, finally, but the emotion in your gaze… there was something wrong with it. Something distant, lacking the affection those beautiful eyes of yours usually held for him.
Coriolanus swallowed.
“Are you really going to be like this? Is it because of Sejanus? You don’t have to be with him anymore.”
You turned your head forward.
“Leave me alone, I’d like to walk in silence.”
Since when had you become so spiteful? Coriolanus didn’t like it. It evoked something similar in him. He leaned down, getting near your ear.
“You liked it, I know you did,” he hissed out. Coriolanus hadn’t meant for it to come out so harsh, but you were being completely unfair to him right now. “You can’t lie to me.”
Despite the way you shuddered, your jaw remained clenched. You not talking to him was more infuriating than if you had screamed in his face. At least that way he could tell what you were thinking. But no, you wouldn’t allow him to be privy to your inner thoughts, no matter how much effort he put into prying them from you.
It wasn’t a conversation for the public, even Coriolanus knew that, so when you got to the academy a few steps ahead of him, he bit his tongue.
“What did you do to piss off your sister?” Clemensia asked him in a whisper in class. “You’re usually attached at the hip walking in.”
The way she called you his sister felt wrong in a way that it hadn’t before. Even if he never thought it fit when people would say that or assume it, something had shifted.
And was it that obvious? Coriolanus hadn’t even brought it up. He’d simply been a few steps behind you into the classroom. You’d gone to your desk without a word. Was that strange to everyone else too? It was validating, in a way, to know your behavior was, in fact, targeted and odd, but it also made him wonder what the two of you appeared to be from an outside perspective.
“It’s nothing,” Coriolanus lied to her under his breath, keeping his eyes on his paper.
“So you didn’t get into a fight?”
Coriolanus’s brows curved down. He glanced her way.
“A fight?”
“Arachne and Festus saw you pull her away from Sejanus and disappear somewhere last night.”
It was mostly the truth, but she said it so nonchalantly. She couldn’t know what happened after you disappeared. Coriolanus hadn’t seen a single person lay their eyes on either of you in that private moment.
“I get it,” she continued. “I wouldn’t want to be associated with someone from the districts either. She’s not thinking about how she’ll be perceived, or you. Don’t let her drag you down.”
Coriolanus just listened, the night flashing through his mind. No one could’ve known, there was no way.
He quickly corrected the hypocrisy in his own mind. He hadn’t done anything wrong, it was just private. No one else deserved to see you in that state—no one but him.
“We’re fine,” Coriolanus told her. “And her and Sejanus aren’t together anymore.”
Clemensia smirked to herself. “Good.”
Word spread quickly, and with the way you avoided Sejanus—a byproduct of you avoiding Coriolanus—everyone believed it. The final nail was the way you failed to appear at lunch. It got under Sejanus’s skin, causing him to question the state of your relationship without you to answer any said questions.
Truthfully, Coriolanus hadn’t seen anything as amusing in a long while, but your absence weighed on him, too.
The walk home alone was dreadful without you. Even in the morning when you had ignored him, it was better than you being completely gone.
When he got home, your door was shut. How quickly had you left your classes, how fast had you walked, all to avoid him?
This was growing old very, very quickly.
Grandma’am was on the roof with her roses, and Tigris seemed to be missing from the apartment. It was only because of that that Coriolanus devised a way to get into your room.
Why he didn’t think of picking the lock before, Coriolanus supposed it was because he thought you’d give in quicker and let him get the better of you. You were usually weak to him, allowing him to get his way without a problem. You had before.
“Last chance,” Coriolanus called through the locked door. He almost thought that would be enough. He wanted you to open it of your own will. “You can’t avoid me forever, just let me in.”
No such luck.
You looked surprised when he forced the door open, as if you really believed he would just take the loss. You were supposed to know him better than that.
You’d been sitting on your bed in pajamas, evidently already done with the day. Your legs were criss-crossed with a textbook in your lap. You looked up at him, a questioning expression taking over your features.
“What are you doing, Coryo?” you asked, voice low, eyes not quite meeting his directly.
“You weren’t opening the door.” Coriolanus squared his shoulders. “I wanted to talk to you.”
You shook your head, something between a sigh and a laugh escaping you in a puff of air. Coriolanus did not like the accusatory undertone.
“Did you think maybe I left it locked on purpose?” Were you mocking him? “That I wasn’t lying this morning and I really don’t want to speak to you?”
“That’s ridiculous,” Coriolanus insisted, closing your door behind him. He moved towards your bed, watching your body language the entire time as he finally sat on the edge beside you. “You thought I would just let you ignore me?”
You swallowed, closing the book in your lap. “I guess not,” you admitted, setting the textbook aside. “I am well aware of your ego.”
A frown crested Coriolanus’s lip. “Is that what this is—you want to hurt me?”
You tilted your head, catching his gaze, much like he’d made you do the night before. It was the first time in nearly a day since you’d looked him dead in the eye.
“What do you want, Coryo?”
“I want you”
“You want me to what? Not be with Sejanus? Is that it? Is that why you did what you did?”
“You say that like it was something awful. I was there too.” Coriolanus felt a familiar heat rush through him at the memory. “I know what I saw.”
“You humiliated me.”
“In front of who? No one saw us.”
“That’s not the point.”
“Then what is? Because you know Sejanus is weak?” Coriolanus searched your eyes and leaned in closer. He was feeling antagonistic. “I mean, how could he touch you, knowing I got there first?”
Coriolanus caught your hand as you raised it, presumably to strike him.
“Is that what we’ve resorted to?”
He squeezed your wrist, enough to cause pain. You winced and tried to move away, but Coriolanus wasn’t going to let you get away.
“I could ask you the same,” you sneered, sounding like an entirely different person.
“What has happened to you?” Coriolanus questioned. He took a breath. “Do you want me to be sorry for what I’ve said? Fine, then, I apologize. But I’m not sorry for what I’ve done. You should not be with him.”
“I’m supposed to believe someone driven by jealousy?” you inquired back, blinking back tears. Why were you being so dramatic? “How can I trust anything you have to say to me now?”
Coriolanus was taken aback by the question. Did you really not trust him anymore? Even with the tight hold on your wrist, he could feel you slipping from his grasp. If you were to leave him, he’d never forgive the universe for its twisted irony. Coriolanus put so much time and care into you because he wanted you. His family didn’t, at least not at first, but even so, you’d have nothing if it wasn’t for him. Is that what you wanted to leave him with now? Nothing? Nothing but the memory of when you were his?
No, that wouldn’t do.
It just wouldn’t.
“You can trust me, I promise,” Coriolanus insisted, pleading, even. “I love you, I always have—you can’t have expected me to sit back and do nothing while you…”
You looked more betrayed, if that was even possible. He was trying to make it better but explaining was only making it worse. Coriolanus had never met a person where the more he talked, the more he tried to persuade them, they believed him less. In that way again you were an anomaly.
If Coriolanus couldn’t tell you, he could show you. He had to make you understand—he could salvage this and get what he wanted in the end. If he was anything, it was persistent. It had worked before, excluding the aftermath.
Coriolanus moved, keeping his hold on your wrist as he shoved you down, pulling himself up and then on top of you in a fluid motion.
You squirmed, questioning, “What are you doing?”
Coriolanus caught your other hand and brought it to join your other wrist he already had a hold of in one hand. He straddled your waist, keeping your body pinned.
“You won’t listen to me,” he pointed out. Something inside him urged him to lean down. “But I can still prove it to you, that it’s me you should be with. No one else.”
Then he crashed his lips onto yours. It was more forceful than it had been the previous night, ensuring you couldn’t turn away again. His tongue was already in your mouth before you thought to turn your head.
It didn’t matter if you didn’t kiss him back, Coriolanus was in bliss. Your lips were soft, molding perfectly to his. You moaned into his mouth, or maybe it was a protest, but it made his body heat up all the same. Coriolanus couldn’t get enough of you. Last night left him wanting more, not less.
More than that, he was determined. When he finally detached his lips from yours, the both of you panting, Coriolanus set forth on a track that wouldn’t allow him to turn around.
Even if he tried to take it back, everything would already be changed.
So he didn’t even bother hesitating. Coriolanus was determined, even, at yanking your clothes from your body.
Your words were jumbled by the time they reached his ears. His own heart racing with excitement drowned out any requests you had for him.
The word “stop” left his vocabulary until you yelled it too loud for his liking.
Your whole body shook when he clapped his hand over your mouth. Your top was completely gone, your chest heaving as you breathed through your nose. While Coriolanus could’ve easily been distracted by your state, he trained his eyes on your wide ones.
The word helpless crossed his mind, and he had to take a moment to control himself.
“Grandma’am is upstairs,” Coriolanus finally warned, voice low. “Don’t disturb her.”
You blinked. Coriolanus was almost surprised by the way you settled down, but it told him you understood the implications of alerting her.
Your position beneath Coriolanus had to be better than starving and cold on the street, didn’t it?
You didn’t have Sejanus anymore. If you thought you did, Coriolanus would make sure to remedy that with his friend before you got to him first.
As Coriolanus lifted his hand from your mouth, he silently implored he was the only one who could save you from being branded a liar.
Just as Coriolanus had always admired, you were a quick learner. As heartbroken as you looked, you didn’t raise your voice again.
“This isn’t how you make me want to be with you,” you pleaded. Coriolanus wasn’t sure whether to laugh or take it as a challenge.
“We’ll see,” he mused in response.
He got you bare, and then himself.
You averted your eyes from his body, which offended him more than he thought it would.
“You can look,” Coriolanus said, voice heavy.
Something about his voice must’ve gotten to you, because your eyes flicked between his legs. You swallowed and looked back away.
A prideful smirk overtook Coriolanus’s face.
He moved then, still keeping hold on your wrists in one hand, dragging them down over your belly, and placed himself between your legs.
With one hand still holding your wrists, Coriolanus shoved his other hand in between your legs, two prodding fingers finding your entrance before making their way in. Eagerness won out over his patience. He could take things slow later.
You tensed around him, fighting the intrusion, but he wasn’t going to let you win. Even if you weren’t squirming against him, you were resistant. Coriolanus slowly worked at breaking your resolve, massaging his fingers inside your walls, thumb on your clit.
He could see shame wash over your features when a wetness began to form, coating his fingers and allowing him to work you open for him.
“See, you can lie to me, but your body can’t,” Coriolanus asserted, voice thick with arousal.
That triggered something in you, and perhaps Coriolanus reacted too harshly.
It felt like it all happened in a flash. One moment you were on your back, beneath him, clenching around his fingers, and the next he had to manhandle you onto your chest and knees to fend off your attack and keep you still. He regained his hold on your hands quickly, pinning them behind your back while you panted from the short lived exertion.
Coriolanus leaned down to press his lips to your ear.
“I thought we agreed you weren’t going to fight me,” he growled.
Your shoulders shifted as you found further discomfort in your new position, but you didn’t speak. You wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of your voice—just like before.
Coriolanus wanted to watch your face as you submitted to him and his love for you, but if this was the only way he could have you for now, so be it.
He lined himself up with your entrance, enjoying the twitch of your body as he pressed the tip in.
Despite all the effort to get you where you were now, Coriolanus slid his cock into you with ease. Your body welcomed him, even if you didn’t.
He couldn’t help himself, his hips bucked forward, shoving himself into you deep. You whimpered into the pillow and Coriolanus’s mind went blank for a moment, basking in the feel of your warm cunt around him. It was better than he imagined.
His cock twitched inside of you, eager to fill you, but he had to make this last. Just like before, Coriolanus wanted to make you feel good. So good you had no choice but to want him.
Coriolanus drew his hips back after a few moments of just resting inside you. When only the tip remained, he thrust forward. Your body rocked against the mattress.
He did it again, this time slower. Forcing you to feel the drag of his thick cock inside of you. Coriolanus liked the way your body quivered as you succumbed to the pleasure he could give you.
You felt like heaven, all wet and warm and squeezing around him in a way that made him want to never leave you.
To show he trusted you, Coriolanus let your hands go. They immediately fell to grip the pillow beneath your head. You didn’t go to fight him and that counted for something. He had an ulterior motive, though, because now he could hold your hips with both hands.
He leaned down, pressing kisses to your back. He ran his hands along your skin, drinking the entirety of you in as he moved inside of you.
His movements were a bit slow, calculated, making you feel every inch of him stretching you out. Coriolanus imagined you rocking your hips back, your moans filling the room, eager for more. That would have to be saved for another time when you were more willing.
You body tensed and shivered, and Coriolanus knew you were getting close. You still had yet to speak.
It was petty, the sudden sharp thrust of his hips to shove his cock deep and hard into you.
A gasp—he drew a gasp from you.
He allowed his weight to fully fall on top of you, finally. Your skin was so warm on his chest, it was as if your body was trying to burn him off of you. Maybe it was all in his head. But it didn’t really matter. It was far too late for that.
“It’s okay to want it,” Coriolanus muttered into your ear.
He felt your body reacting and you were moments away from what he’d been pushing you towards. His thrusts grew shallow, not letting too much of himself leave you as you finally came undone.
You buried your face into the pillow, muffling your cry as you finally came around his cock. It was then that he got what he wanted, even if it was only brief. Your body spasmed and pushed back, trying to feel every inch of him stretching you out, clenching down to hold him there.
Coriolanus followed you soon after, cock throbbing in your walls, spilling inside of you and painting them white. He held your hips so tight he was sure he’d leave bruises as he held himself still, letting the both of you experience the sensation in full.
After however long—Coriolanus didn’t count the minutes—he withdrew from your body. He was a gentleman, so he helped you to lay down before your body collapsed on its own.
He laid down beside you, pulling your blanket over the top of both of your bodies with the intention to bring you comfort.
You were wordless, rolling onto your side, facing away from him.
Coriolanus turned with you, wrapping his arms around your midsection and pulling you back to him. He pressed a kiss to the back of your head before resting his lips near your ear.
“Do you really think not talking to me is the best idea?” he whispered, less frustrated than before.
You shook in his arms, but your voice was steady as you asked, “What do you expect me to say to you?”
Coriolanus didn’t have to think all that long.
“That you love me.”
You were silent for a moment, Coriolanus thought he was going to have to repeat himself.
“I did love you,” you uttered, voice threatening to break. “But it wasn’t enough for you.”
Coriolanus could’ve been angry, but he knew he’d win you back. He had all the time in the world, knowing you wouldn’t dare continue your relationship with Sejanus. How could you? You were already spoken for.
You were Coriolanus’s, you always had been. He realized it before you, but he knew you’d come to learn the truth. You’d accept it eventually, and everything would fall into place exactly as he wanted.
#dark!coriolanus snow x reader#coriolanus snow x reader#yandere coriolanus snow#coriolanus x reader#coriolanus snow#dark!coriolanus snow#the ballad of songbirds and snakes#tom blyth#quin-ns writing
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