#but also hes been living with omura too long

[certified-anakinfucker]

you know what? fuck you *agenders your anakin skywalker*

[oveliagirlhaditright]

Your post on how fans who were first introduced to Namine in CoM might have had more negative feelings towards her, in comparison to fans who first learned of her from KH2, reminded me of my recent posts on how fans who first met Riku in KH1, CoM, and Days took longer to trust him and warm up to him. I know I wasn't too fond him until after I learned he redeemed himself in KH2. Though there were a few fans who shipped SoNami after CoM.

I agree. For the longest time, R*iku and N*amine were in the same boat for me. I hated R*iku for all he did in KH1 (but now I of course realize that was unfair, and this fifteen-year-old kid was somewhat being manipulated by M*aleficent and X*ehanort), and when I learned you could play as him at the end of C*oM... I was not happy. And only started playing it, because I thought there was probably going to be important stuff there carried over into KHII (because I think at this point, I’d learned there was going to be a proper sequel to K*ingdom Hearts for the Playstation 2, that took place after C*oM). And I started to be okay with him in C*oM... but I don’t think he really won me over until I saw all that he did for Sora in K*HII. Then D*ays happened, and I was like, “Whoa. What he did to R*oxas and X*ion was messed up”, but I think I’d come far enough with him then, that I didn’t start hating R*iku again for it. But on a side note... man, do I wish this would all be dealt with. I kind of hate that these games act like N*amine owes R*oxas and Xi*on an apology for what she did--and feels guilty about it--but R*iku doesn��t... As I’ve said, I have some issues with how R*iku’s redemption arc was handled now--and think N*amine’s was actually done better--but I still love it and him.

As for N*amine... I hated her for trying to steal S*ora from K*airi, and trying to make him a puppet for the O*rganization most of C*oM. Even her heel-face-turn didn’t do much for me. And when I kind of felt bad for her when she was crying at the end of C*oM, I was annoyed at myself for being weak. My hatred for her carried over into K*HII, where I maybe liked her a little better because she wasn’t doing anything to hurt our heroes (but was rather aiding them). But I was also convinced that K*HIII was going to have R*oxas and N*amine as the villains, or something, after they finally decided they didn’t want to give up their lives and decided to try and possess Sora and Kairi’s bodies... so, yeah. I still didn’t like her (or R*oxas, for that matter. I loathed him for taking S*ora’s place in the prologue, and how I felt the narrative tried to somewhat paint that S*ora didn’t know suffering while he did). 3*58/2 Days made me finally fall in love with R*oxas and kind of like A*xel (I also came to adore X*ion, and shipped her and R*oxas together)... and thus N*amine just kept seeming worse and worse to me, when I thought about what she did to R*oxas and X*ion (and I won’t lie that there was a stupid part of me that didn’t like her for being a “boyfriend stealer” again, in my eyes. And yes, I know/knew that K*HII came first, before N*omura had ever even thought of X*ion). I still didn’t even like her as far as C*oded--partly because I played it, and am still traumatized by the Eliminators--and felt like “All of my pain in this game was because of you, N*amine! Because you put the H*eartless--the “hurt”--into this digitalized version of the Journal, in order to test S*ora!” And I just couldn’t help feeling N*amine caused more problems than she solved. And, while you could argue that she didn’t write in the J*ournal that she wanted S*ora to also save her along with everyone else, it also bothered me that she didn’t object to seeing herself shown as one of the ones needing saving. Because... as wrong as this was (I know that now), I kind of didn’t think she deserved to be rescued... and thought that if she really sorry about all she’d done, maybe she should think she should be punished in some way, like in not being allowed to come back.

I don’t think it was until D*ream D*rop Distance either came out or was coming out, that I finally came to be okay with her and now I love her (but I’m certainly not proud of how long it took... or any of this); and it was when I finally realized I was victim blaming and being misogynistic that my opinion changed... and that, deep down, I actually thought she was a really good and nuanced character (and had for a long time) and had just been lying to myself.

...I’m so glad I’m not like this anymore. For the most part, I think I’m one of the best people when it comes to really not hating on any female characters ever... but even I’ve done it a few times (mainly when I was younger), and N*amine was definitely my worst offense with it. Ugh.

[aithne]

(Illume) June 12th - 18th, 1583: Shadow of a Stranger

From Lady Yukiko's Journal

6/12/1583

Today held a wedding and a surprise, and tonight we are leaving Kyoto to head into the heart of the approaching army.

It's somewhat hard to believe that this is actually the most sensible course of action, but it does seem to be. We spent the day in Kyoto, recovering from the battle yesterday, waiting for the army to get to us tomorrow. The general idea was that once the battle started, we'd board the ship that would be arriving that day and leave the area. However, some new information has caused us to change our plans.

Funitsu and Tomika were married today in a somewhat abbreviated ceremony at a shrine in Kyoto. The alliance between the clans was formed when they announced their engagement, but the actual marriage makes that alliance more permanent. I find myself growing to like Tomika more as time goes on. She and I are much alike in some ways; I have not asked, but I have a feeling that she was the favored daughter of her household, as I was. Should she live long enough to take over leadership of the Crane Clan, I think she will be most effective in curbing some of the excesses that Clan has been displaying lately.

I am not certain that Funitsu knows exactly what he's married. It should be rather amusing watching him find out.

Tonight, as we were preparing to leave, Panda and Haku were called to talk to someone who had arrived at the gates, asking for them. When they came back, their faces were troubled. "That was Saran," said Panda. "He had news for us. Reiko, are you missing a spirit?"

The kitsune looked up from where she was sitting, her legs folded up so her heels were on the edge of her chair. "Lin left when I realized she'd been keeping me ignorant all of these years. If she weren't already dead, I'd kill her--I've been waiting for her to come back so I can yell at her some more. Why?"

"Well, the reason the army hasn't attacked yet is that General Nakasura is having a wu jen perform a ritual to put an old female spirit into a new body, and allow her to live again."

Reiko went pale, a shocked look on her face. Panda explained what Saran had told her, that Nakasura was vulnerable at this point to a small force, and that this ritual was occurring and would conclude in a few hours. The wu jen's name was Shurin, and Tomika mentioned that she'd heard of him. He specialized in bringing spirits back to life without any piece of their bodies, using a recently dead corpse, a piece of a person or place that the spirit is connected to, and a spirit who truly wants to return to life.

I could see anger beginning to burn through Reiko's confusion. Suddenly, she started. "Oh. I remember now. Lin is my granddaughter. I don't remember...wait. Yes. I killed her, I dragged her spirit from her living body and let her body burn." Silent stares from all around her. "What? She was trying to kill me." She paused, and muttered seemingly to herself, "I still don't understand why...but no matter."

Much babbling. Reiko wasn't making very much sense, I'm afraid, as she seems to not remember much of her past. She said something about a husband--who was still with her?--but even more than usual, she seemed to be assuming that everyone around her could see the things she does.

At that point, Tomika told Funitsu that she would be putting herself in danger if she went with us while she was spelless, and said that she'd come along and help if she had her spellbooks, or she would stay behind, his choice. The Scorpion weighed both options, and at some urging from the rest of my retinue, chose to trust her. Tomika said that she could study on the way, especially if we could bring along a litter for her so she could have some light.

And we were off, into the night. We avoided the main bulk of the army, only having to stop a few times to let scouts go past us. I watched soldiers rounding up the people on the farms surrounding Kyoto--my people!--with a sick feeling in my heart.

In three hours, we were drawing close to Nakasura, dismounting and leaving the horses loosely tied on an empty farm. We found Nakasura's tent, as impressive as generals' pavilions usually are, and Gryphon spotted some wyverns in the sky. He warned us that he'd heard that wyverns could fascinate humans with their gaze, and that they were poisonous. My retinue started wrangling about who was going to do what. and the kitsune, evidently impatient, said, "I'm going to go look." She faded from view and was gone.

Funitsu also pulled a cloaking spell around himself and crept up to the tent. The librarian also circled around to the back of the tent, leaving the rest of us waiting for something to happen. Watching, we could see one of the guards fall asleep, the other shaking the sleeping one and then speaking to someone in the tent. Whoever it was stepped outside, and I could see he had the armor of a general on--this was Nakasura. He said clearly enough for those of us down the field to hear, "We're under attack, that's a sleeping spell. Find them!"

And the wyverns in the sky stooped and attacked.

In the ensuing confusion, Tomika came in most handy as she used a lightning bolt on a wyvern who was sneaking up behind us. Funitsu had wyvern trouble but managed quite well, if I do say so myself. I saw Tadaki get hit by a wyvern and flee, changing form as he did so. I didn't see either the librarian or Reiko until the librarian came out of the tent, followed by another wyvern. I heard a male voice I hadn't heard before come from the tent, roaring something I couldn't hear, and a few seconds later the last wyvern dove into the tent. It emerged and took flight, a naked young woman clinging to its back. Gryphon launched himself after it, managing to kill the wyvern, but the woman on its back opened a dimension door for herself and disappeared. Lin is loose in the world, it seems, whoever she is. All I know is that she knows everything that Reiko knows, and she is cooperating with my husband's enemies.

My bodyguards both acquitted themselves most ferociously, Panda falling to a blow from Nakasura and Haku stepping into her place. Nakasura stepped forward, bloody sword at the ready, but then looked at something next to Haku's foot and backed away. Haku took the opening to throw Nakasura around a bit. A lightning bolt from Tomika finished him, and Gryphon, whom Reiko had told could eat Nakasura, pounced on the corpse.

Haku picked up the thing from the ground that Nakasura had backed away from--a sparrow, sleeping. Tadaki, it would seem. Reiko appeared in the doorway of the tent, dragging the librarian out of the tent. He seemed to be fast asleep--wyvern poison, I assumed. Reiko tended to Panda, kissing the worst of her wounds closed. An odd shaman, is our kitsune. She appears to have not a squeamish bone in her body.

When Tadaki and the librarian woke, Tadaki changed forms back to human, and said with some surprise, "Ow! This thing--" He pulled out of his pocket the orb he'd gotten from Omura a few days ago. We could hear a distant screaming and a crane-shaped shadow rose from Nakasura's corpse and dove into the orb, which glowed briefly. Tadaki held a brief conversation with his orb, in which it was revealed that each of the generals has a little bit of the spirit that has taken over Hideyoshi in them, and this orb is designed to collect those pieces.

Tomika offered to wake both the wu jen and Nakasura so they could speak to us. When Tomika woke them, she made each corpse do a dance, which was amusing in a gruesome sort of way. Reiko questioned both bodies; the wu jen said that Lin was going back to Arenro.

Silence from the kitsune. Then, "Back to Arenro? What?"

Nakasura had a few more answers for us, saying that he knew that Lin and Arenro had been friends back when Lin was still alive. He had little more of use for us, though we did question him some more. We decided that we needed to alert Saran to the fact that Nakasura was dead and that his coup was no longer going to be needed, and sent the librarian into the army to find him. Reiko told us that she was going to go for a run, but changed her mind when the gryphon offered to fly her back to Kyoto.

I had not thought, before, to worry about the friendship between those two. The gryphon is somewhat impulsive, and the shaman is not much better. I hope that some ameliorating influence will happen sooner rather than later, as those two could easily be quite the menace to both enemies and allies. I know, now, that Reiko's intelligent enough--as long as she ever pauses to think, but she doesn't seem to do that too often.

The librarian spoke to Saran and then brought him back to us, telling us that the newly-minted General had an excellent idea. Saran said, if he declared loyalty to me, he could join forces with Yasahiro and help defend Kyoto, giving us a safe place to return to. After some discussion, we decided that this was a good idea, and returned to Kyoto.

When we were reunited with Reiko and Gryphon, Panda asked the shaman curiously, "Lin was your granddaughter? That must mean you've had a child or two. Do you have any other descendants?"

The shaman frowned, seemingly trying to remember. And then she blinked, and asked the air next to her, "Really? Why didn't you tell me before? All right--" She returned her attention to Panda. "My name six centuries ago was Iyotushi Reiko. My husband's name is Lord Iyotushi Setto." She glanced over at me, offering a small smile. "I am Akechi's many-greats-removed grandmother. It was in my time that the Iyotushi family became noble." A pained looked crossed her face, and she rubbed her temples, grimacing. "I'm sorry, the memories are coming back, but all out of order, and I can't make sense of many of them. I remember the night Lin died. I remember the night my husband...committed seppuku." A catch in her voice, there. "I remember little else, I'm afraid. But it's starting to come back, now that Lin's no longer in the spirit world."

There's one mystery solved--why a strange little shaman was promoted over Arenro by my husband, almost a year ago. Akechi must have known--but how? He never mentioned it to me.

Panda, Haku, Yasahiro, Saran and I spent a long time in conference this evening, planning strategies. We must assume that the other side knows of everything we do, now, and it is now that all of our plans must change.

We sail for Hiroshima in the morning.

6/13/1583

Uneventful sailing today. None of us seem very inclined towards conversation. Funitsu and Reiko have been working healing those who were wounded, and Gryphon is, as usual, fishing for himself. Tadaki has been climbing around in the rigging, and the librarian...come to think of it, I haven't seen the librarian all day. I wonder what he's been up to?

Three and a half more days to Hiroshima, if the wind holds.

6/14/1583

I confess to being very curious as to what, exactly, is going on between Funitsu and Tomika. Intuition is telling me that she might actually be starting to like him.

I suppose it'll develop as it does. It would be good to know if she truly is on our side; I do not yet trust her completely.

The shaman spoke to nobody today. I greeted her as she went by me on the deck this morning, but she acted as if she did not see me. Perhaps she is more in the spirit world than not, today.

The child within me is quiet. I get the sense that it is waiting for something.

Perhaps it is waiting for the same thing I am--answers.

6/15/1583

Poor Haku is restless. As are the rest of us, except Gryphon who has been having a wonderful time swimming in the ocean and showing off his new ability to fly, and Panda who is her usual calm self. She's been doing a lot of meditation, and sword drills with me, Haku, and the librarian. Haku's been getting whoever will agree to be his victim to drill with him; the motion seems to do him good. The air has felt like it wants to storm all day long, but the weather refuses to break.

It's late in the evening, perhaps ten o'clock, and I just saw Reiko go past my door, down the corridor. I suspect she's found a sailor or two to keep company with for the moment.

This weather! It's enough to drive those of us who aren't already crazy quite mad.

Earlier this evening, I'd arranged for a bath--one of the perks of being both noble and pregnant is that people tend to indulge you when you request things like hot baths. I think they reason that I'm at least asking for attainable things, not plums from the slopes of Mount Fuji or anything like that.

Panda accompanied me, being the closest thing to a lady in waiting that I have at the moment, and as I used a touch of magic to heat the water for myself, I asked her, "So, do you think we can trust the shaman?"

"Why wouldn't we?"

I cupped my hands and poured water over my shoulders. "Her spirit did betray us, after all. I'm not sure what the odds of that happening again are."

Panda shrugged, beginning up pull her topknot down and comb out her hair. Her swords were by her side, and she was keeping a watchful eye out, still on duty even now. "She says that was the only spirit who was rebellious. Even the one who possessed her before was simply misguided. Possesion can happen to almost anyone. If even Akechi can be possessed, I'm not sure that any of us are immune."

"Not a child still in the womb, certainly." I cupped my hand over my belly, sighing a little. "So you think we should keep her with us?"

"She's probably better off with us than away with us. Akechi sent her with us for a reason, I'm sure. Perhaps she knew of her connection to your family."

"He never mentioned it to me, but perhaps. I'd also like to know how Hirohito knew that we are traveling with a kitsune and a hengeyokai."

Panda pulled at a stubborn tangle. "I assumed that the Lord told him."

"I don't know that he would have. There was very little that Akechi did not share with me; while I knew about Tadaki, I didn't know what Reiko was, and that's the sort of thing that he wouldn't have told his brother without telling me." I wound a lock of hair around my fingers, thinking. "He knows too many things, Panda. I don't trust him. I like him, but we need to be very wary of him. He may not be an enemy, but I don't think we can count him as a friend. At the very most, he is an ally."

"Don't worry, Lady. I trust very few people, and Hirohito is not on that list."

I smiled. "Good, samurai. We should keep it that way." I shifted, pulling my knees as far up as they'll go at this point. "I wonder how Tomika is really feeling about Funitsu. I almost think she rather likes him."

"Well, he is not unattractive, or so I assume from the tittering I've heard from your ladies when he comes to see you."

"And he can be charming, when he puts forth the effort. I'm not certain if that's going to be enough to overcome the manner of his asking her to marry him. It is customary to untie the lady first. It smacks of coercion."

"I don't know. At least she had the choice as an adult. My parents had their marriage arranged when they were both three years old, and they were quite happy together, so perhaps this will work out the same way."

"Hopefully. We'll see." I'd caught a glimpse of Panda's face as she put down her comb, wincing a little as her arm moved through a range of motion that had just been healed a couple of days before. "How are you, Panda? Recovered from the fight?"

"My body is mostly healed, thank you."

I tilted my head. Panda had something on her mind, and she wasn't about to tell me about it unless I asked. "And your soul?"

She sighed a little bit. "Troubled, Lady. Nearly dying has brought to the forefront of my mind that should I die, that will be the end of my line. I have asked Haku, should I fall, to bring my sword to my ancestral temple, but...I should have someone to pass it on to."

I considered this. "I know you've been very focused on your career, Panda, but perhaps it's time you gave some thought to having a child or two. Now, of course, isn't the right time, but perhaps once we have Akechi back, you could find someone."

"Or I could find someone to adopt. I was sent to my parents by the goddess and the god when they were unable to conceive. I am certain that, when the time is right, the opportunity will present itself."

"Or perhaps you'll find someone along the way that you like enough to consider adding them to your bloodline."

Panda answered, a bit stiffly. "I have heard that the process of actually bearing children requires, ah, a father."

"It does. And the process of conceiving is really quite a lot of fun. You ought to try it. I'm certain any of our companions, except perhaps Funitsu, would be quite willing to introduce you to the concept..."

I realized that I'd gone a bit too far with that when I saw Panda blushing, bright color burning on her cheeks. She looked away and said, in a somewhat strangled voice, "Oppressive weather we've been having lately, isn't it?"

"Nice subject change, samurai." I chuckled a little. "Well if you ever need help with your endeavors, let me know. If nothing else, I can describe the process for you well enough."

"We don't need more than one person nauseous in the morning at this point, and I can't defend you with an awkward belly in the way."

"True enough. I suppose I feel like someone in my retinue should be getting laid other than the kitsune and possibly Funitsu."

Panda raised an eyebrow. "Reiko is...indulging herself?"

"She's no good to us starving. That's why I told you not to lock her in any more. I believe that a sailor or two has been obliging her, as well as probably a guard back in Kyoto. Or, possibly, Yasahiro. I haven't asked, and it's probably better that I don't know, unless she develops an attachment to someone. And keeping her fed means that she's less likely to need to feed on one of us."

"There are, ah, probably several who wouldn't mind her method of feeding among us, i'm sure." Panda was beginning to shift around again, a sure sign that we were getting close to one of those subjects that she's uncomfortable with. I had a sudden insight as to why, but chose to leave it alone for the moment.

"But what happens when she saps the vitality of someone we need in battle the next day? Safer to have her indulge outside of our retinue." I stretched and set to scrubbing myself, the warmth of the water relaxing me as it always does. We talked some more, mostly about inconsequentials, as I finished bathing. I slipped once and made reference to the librarian being something than what he appeared to be, and Panda replied, "He is an archivist. If I were to know that he were something else that was not exactly honorable, I would have to do something about it, more than likely."

I nodded, taking the warning. "He is simply an archivist. But a useful man, you must admit."

"Undoubtedly. Librarians are quite fierce in the defense of their books. I suppose that, in the end, we're books ourselves, so that protectiveness transfers."

I laughed a little at the mental backbends the samurai was doing, and chose to not deliberately disturb her world. "You and your honor, Panda."

"I would not be as useful to you without it, my Lady."

"I will keep this in mind, samurai. For the moment, though, would you mind helping me up?"

Wrapped in a robe, my hair down to dry (this fiendish air is making it take much longer than it usually does), I am about to finish this and retire for the night.

I dreamed of Akechi last night. Perhaps, tonight, I will do so again.

6/16/1583

If the wind holds, this will be our last full day of the voyage. We're all vaguely irritable, including the child, who has taken to kicking my spine again. Tomika is sniping at Funitsu and, strangely enough, the librarian, who as far as I can tell hasn't actually done anything offensive other than be in the wrong place at the wrong time.

I approached Reiko, who was splinting the leg of one of the ship cats who'd been unlucky enough to be in the wrong place when one of the sails had shifted, and sat down next to her. She said, "As long as you're here, Lady, could you hold the splint in place for me while I wrap this?"

I complied, the cat squirming uncomfortably under my hands, as she wrapped leg and splint with a length of cloth. "There we go. It'll need to be kept quiet for a couple of weeks, but it should heal all right. It was a clean break."

"I didn't know you knew how to doctor animals as well as humans."

She shook her head. "Broken bones are somewhat obvious, wounds are wounds no matter what species. Illnesses differ between humans and animals, though, and the cure for humans might kill an animal, and vice versa." She rubbed the cat's head, and a rumbling purr came from it, as it seemed content to lie on her lap for the moment. "I mostly stick with humans."

"Have you always been a physician?" I was genuinely curious, and this also seemed to be a line of questioning that might get me some of the answers I sought.

"I--no. Before Lin, it was one of my interests, but I never truly developed it. After, well, it seems that I spent at least some of my lives being one. Among other things."

"Such as?" I could tell I was making the kitsune uncomfortable, but I needed to know.

She looked at me, those amber eyes unreadable. "I know the first life after I acquired Lin, I was a geisha. One of the...not quite reputable ones. After that, I have very few memories. I know I was a court physician when I acquired Zhane. I have a feeling that I've made my way in the world in whatever manner was available to an attractive woman of no family and few resources other than her body and her gift for knowing what others do not. Lin...Lin was ashamed of me, I think. She had difficulty with knowing that she had immortal blood. I was never what she wanted me to be, and she never let me forget it."

"And before Lin?"

She smiled. "Before her, I was the Lady of a noble house, one that rose quickly after the death of the Emperor who declared my late husband, and thus myself and my child, noble. I built the estate in Kyoto, and I lived there quite happily for a very long time. And then, one night, I was talking to Setto on my balcony, and I saw something in my garden that shouldn't have been there. That was the night that everything changed."

"Is it true, then, that you're Akechi's--and my child's--ancestor?"

"I and Setto founded Akechi's line." Again, that sensual smile. "He was the only one I ever married, and it took him seven years to convince me that marrying him was a good idea. Fifteen years was far too few to spend with him. I was...most upset when he was forced to commit seppuku."

Something wasn't adding up here. "You said that all of your spirits except Lin had died by your hand--and it turned out that you killed Lin, as well. But you say that--Setto, right?--committed seppuku. Does that mean..."

Reiko was looking down at the cat, watching her own hands smooth the silver and black fur. "One of the ancient ways of ritual suicide is to submit oneself to one of the demons who lives on the life force of others. I am...one of those demons. Setto knew what I am, and he asked me to be his sword for seppuku." She raised a hand to her mouth, pausing, taking a quick breath inward. I waited for her to continue. "I'm sorry, talking about it brings the memory back. He was the only one who ever made the choice to be drained by me, and it was only because I loved him that I agreed. It was not easy. I know you love Akechi. Setto and he are...much alike."

I tried to imagine the confused little shaman that I knew as the reigning Lady of a noble line. She must have been very different back in the day; the Reiko I know can barely govern herself, much less an entire family.

We sat in silence for a few moments. Reiko continued petting the cat, and then looked at me. For the first time, something of the immortal stirred in her eyes. "In the last six centuries, I have killed every single person I have ever loved. I find that track record somewhat troubling. If you chose to tell me to leave your service, I would understand."

I shook my head. "Reiko. I am convinced there is a reason that you are with us, and I am loath to upset that. Besides, I think that as long as you know what you are, you won't kill anyone you don't mean to. You've been feeding lately, unless I miss my guess."

She grinned. "The sailors are most obliging." Her expression sobered then, and she said, "Just so you know, I will not be feeding among your retinue. Even if some choose to share my bed, there are too many problems that might be caused by me actually feeding on any of them."

"Don't make any promises you can't keep, kitsune. But thank you for your consideration." She chuckled, shrugging. The cat on her lap lifted its chin to be scratched, and I reached over to pet it. After a moment, I asked, "You know, you keep referring to yourself as married. But Setto has been dead these six centuries, and, well...you certainly don't act married..."

"I suppose I'm officially a widow. But Setto's spirit--" She glanced over at a spot in the air where I could see nothing. "--is very much with me, all the time. What I remember of the years after his death tells me that I considered myself very much married to him, though he was with me in spirit and not in body. And now, yes, it feels right that I'm married. Even when I didn't know what I was or who he was, I knew I loved Setto the best of all my spirits. As for the other, when my husband was alive, we had an arrangement that allowed me to feed on other people. Otherwise, a relationship between a kitsune and a human ends in a slow death for the human. And now...he married me knowing what I am, after all." She looked back at that spot in the air, head tilted as if she were listening to something I couldn't hear. "It really is, Setto. I'm working on it." The shaman smiled at me. "Setto just said that it's too bad he can't talk to you directly. He approves of you, I think."

I blinked, unsure of what to say. "Ah, thank you."

"Just passing on the message. And now I have even more of a reason to stay with you, Lady. Your child is my many-times-great grandson. Or granddaughter, but I'm thinking grandson. I was once this family's guardian. Perhaps it's time for me to take up the position once more." Again, a flash of the immortal in her eyes as she grinned at me. Then she cradled the cat to her chest, rising and lifting her face to the sky, smelling the wind. "Hiroshima tomorrow, do you think? If we're lucky, we'll get there before the storm breaks."

Something occurred to me as I stood, rubbing the small of my back. "You mentioned that the Emperor who declared our family noble died soon afterwards. I don't suppose you had anything to do with it, did you?"

Her smile contained no mirth whatsoever. "Officially, his heart stopped as he was sleeping one night, which was surprising as he wasn't that old and in excellent health. But for future reference, Lady? It is a very bad idea to take away someone I love from me." She turned and walked towards the bow of the ship.

So I have many things to think on tonight. Who else among my retinue holds such surprises?

With luck, tomorrow we'll be on dry land. I confess that the allure of sea travel is beginning to wear a little bit, but it does give such opportunities for learning about one's companions.

The storm continues to hold. I felt the touch of a raindrop a few minutes ago, but nothing else. Perhaps tomorrow, when we're on land.

I'm finding myself looking forward to seeing Hirohito again, oddly. After getting over my initial trepidation about him, I find him much like Akechi in many ways. If nothing else, he has been a good ally so far, though I fear he has enough secrets that this might not last forever.

More tomorrow, of course.

6/17/1583

Hiroshima! Finally. We reached port just as the first raindrops from the storm that has been following us started pattering on the deck. By the time we reached Hirohito's home, the wind had picked up and thunder was growling. I confess to finding myself relieved that the weather had finally broken, even if it meant that we were soaked to the skin by the time we reached the palace.

We were made welcome and told that Hirohito was on his way back from Tokyo at the moment; he was scheduled to arrive that evening, but the storm might well delay him. A day of rest has done us a world of good; even Tomika seems to be in a better mood.

In fact, Tomika seems to be in a *much* better mood than she has been. I don't know her well enough to know what this mood swing might presage. It's late afternoon, and we are gathered in a large room, one wall of which is opened so we can watch the warm rain. Panda's on guard duty, standing at attention beside me; Haku, I believe, is in the garden somewhere. Tadaki's settled on a cushion, studying his spellbook, and Tomika's doing the same. Funitsu is standing near the open wall, seeming to be contemplating the falling rain and the occasional growl of thunder.

Reiko and the librarian are studying out of the same books, attempting to puzzle out whatever Reiko's gaijin spirit is telling her. They seem to be making some progress, but how much I cannot tell. Now that Lin is no longer with her, Reiko seems to be much less prone to muttering to herself, which has been a pleasant change.

I quail at the thought of Arenro knowing everything that Reiko and thus Lin knows about us, but I suppose it can't be helped. We did our best to stop her, and we failed. Overall, I think we came out somewhat ahead, but the odds are still against us.

If only we could find Akechi. Though I know he's safe for the moment, and keeping him safe means staying out of Hideyoshi's grasp, I'd feel much better if he were here with us. Of the two of us, he has the better tactical mind, though I'm by far the better at gathering intelligence. It's too bad I can't get in touch with any of my old contacts; I have to assume for the moment that they're all compromised.

We'll see what Hirohito has to suggest when he gets here.

6/18/1583

Hirohito arrived mid-morning and came to see us soon after. After trading greetings, we settled down in the large room we've been using to gather in to talk. Hirohito told Funitsu that Arenro had been most upset at the news of his engagement to Tomika. "His exact words were, 'Who the hell let that happen?' And, by the way, isn't she one of the wu jen I told you to go kill?"

Funitsu shrugged. "She turned out to be considerably more than a minor noble. It was the...course of greatest prudence."

My brother-in-law snorted. "Scorpions."

Reiko spoke up. "I'm afraid we have bad news for you, Lord." At his nod, she continued. "One of my spirits turns out to have been an old friend of Arenro's, from five centuries ago. She was brought back to life by a wu jen who specializes in such things, and has returned to Arenro's side. She knows everything I know, which means that you're now compromised. I am sorry."

He sat still for a moment, contemplating this. Then he asked, "Do you still have that source? I think I'll need some. If Arenro knows about me helping you, soon Hideyoshi will know, and the next time I show my face in Tokyo, it will probably be forcibly separated from my shoulders. I'll still help as I can, but I'm not going to be able to feed you information from inside any longer. I suggest you find another general to turn."

"Any suggestions?" asked Funitsu.

"Omura might be a good one to start with. Though...General Nibori has never been easily controlled. He's hengeyokai, and has fought the control long and hard. He was most certainly not a willing conscript. He may be the best bet for you. He's located near Akita, near Hokkaido." His eyes rested on me. "Sister, your father is having a bit of trouble. He is surrounded by people who would do him harm, and one of his advisors is quite dangerous and, I am convinced, trying to get him to help Arenro's side. She is also hengeyokai, her name is Emi."

At that, Tadaki started. "There's a name I thought I'd never hear again."

"Friend of yours, Tadaki?" Funitsu was looking at our wu jen with narrowed eyes.

"A childhood acquaintance. She helped kill almost all of the people in my village." He shook his head, shivering a little. "She's one of the few people I've ever known who were truly born bad. We caught her dissecting one of our people when she was eighteen; we never managed to prove that she'd killed him, but she'd definitely taken him apart after he died. I've been looking for her, and the people who helped her destroy my village, for a number of years now."

Reiko's smile was wry. "Well, here's your chance. I'm sure the Lady would like to help her father, and...Akita's on the way, correct?"

Funitsu replied, "Almost everywhere is on the way to Hokkaido. It's at the other end of Japan. If we go up the western coast, we can stop by Akita on the way and talk to this Nibori."

Tadaki broke in, "Wait, I wasn't paying attention before. Nibori, you said? He's a Sparrow, as well?" As disturbed as he'd looked before, he looked quite happy now. "He's an old friend, a real one this time. He's from my village, and he was taken when it was destroyed. I never managed to find him. Perhaps he knows what happened to Midiko, as well."

We discussed it for some time, and decided that sailing up the western coast was the best idea. It will take us between a week and two weeks to get up the coast, depending on whether or not the winds are with us. We'll restock the ship tomorrow and sail the day after.

And now, I am wondering about that village that Tadaki grew up in. There is more than he's saying to the destruction of his village. But I suppose those are speculations for another night.

The storm's rage has abated, and the rain is now gentle and warm. May all the storms we pass through be so benign.

Quotes:

"I don't want to be in battle with a wyvern!" "Sound tactical thinking. You've concisely summed up the problem here." (Hiroshi, Haku)

"I position myself away from the things that are trying to kill me." (Hiroshi)

"She dances Nakasura's corpse towards you, one-legged." "I grab the leg bone of his I'm gnawing on and run away. MY leg now! MINE!" (Storm (as Tomika), Gryphon)

[dearmadalice]

Drabble feat. Shigezane and Harumi. I don’t write a lot about them interacting so I wanted to explore their relationship a little. Also I like to think that because of Shigezane, Harumi’s able to be a lot more open about a lot of her issues. Also because I don’t write a lot about Harumi and DESERVES LOVE AND AFFECTION AND SUPPORT. The tea tray rattled a little as he walked. He wondered if he was doing something wrong. Harumi could carry it so gently and it hardly ever made a sound! Even when she would pick up the cups to set them on a tabletop, they never clinked. It made him feel quite uncultured. He definitely was, but he liked maintaining a cool air of disregard.

Of course she heard him coming from a mile away, and rose from her seat on the verandah. Harumi had been enjoying the sunshine and the garden with a serene, blissful expression on her face. Now she looked very serious and even panicked, rubbing her hands together before she paced forward to wrench the tray from his hands. “Master Shigezane, please allow me. I’m sorry I only-“ Shigezane twisted away, keeping the tray safely out of her hands. He grinned at her, Harumi moving to try and take it again. “You were only taking a break? Please, Haru! The house won’t collapse just because you decided to rest. I insist on it!” Then he started to laugh. “Look, I even made you tea! I’m just glad you were already relaxing so I didn’t have to pry you away from work! That’s a battle I don’t think I’d win easily!” Shigezane nudged her roughly with his elbow. “Sit, sit! Come now!” She looked at him with an air of caution before she gently sank back to the floor. Shigezane did his best to put the tray down without messing it up, but it banged heavily against the wood and the dishes clanked together roughly. He snorted to himself a little before he swatted Harumi’s hands away. “Nuh uh; allow me to serve you!”  He carefully poured the tea. At least it all went into the cups instead of all over the tray or all over the floor. Haru bowed her head, moving her hand to tuck some of her hair behind her ear in a worrying motion. “You have my thanks, Master Shigezane.” He snorted. “Please, I’m not Master of anything. Zane is fine, or even Shigezane.”  He did like Haru. She worked hard at up keeping the estate and practically bent over backwards to make sure they all had clean clothes and were eating right. He was by no means helpless, but he would definitely neglect keeping his clothes fresh. He didn’t really like her treating them all like her betters, rather than friends. She was a part of their weird, extended family. “Shigezane then,” she said. “Perfect!” Now that the formalities were all out of the way he could get to serious business. Shigezane handed her tea cup to her, smiling as she took a sip. At least he hadn’t fucked it up! Bah, any idiot could boil water and throw in some damn leaves! “I really wanted to talk to you,” he started. “I don’t want to harass you if you really don’t want to talk, but I wanted to know how you were holding up.” She had become a part of their crazy family, but it had started nagging at him more than usual. There was that whole problem with her husband fighting a war against the Date. Omura Ginmaru was a dead man walking, all things considered, and she was living in the castle of men who would be his judge and executioner. None of them had really even bothered to see how she was feeling. “I’m fine,” she said. “I promise that I don’t take on more than I can handle. I do like keeping busy and being helpful. You don’t need to worry about me.” Harumi smiled sweetly, taking another sip from her tea. “Really, I’m undeserving of all this worry.” His brow furrowed. “That’s . . . not really what I meant.” The question was how he was supposed to breach the subject. Shigezane ground his teeth while he thought. There was no point in being subtle. He was terrible at it. “Do you hate us?” She started to cough, having inhaled so sharply that something had gone amiss. “Hate you? No, no of course not! Never in a thousand years could I hate any of you!” Harumi quickly shook his head. “Have I done something? Master Shigezane I am sorry if I said something-“ “You didn’t do anything wrong,” he insisted. Then he hummed to himself. And she’d gone all formal again on him. “It’s just that . . . you know this whole ordeal. With your husband. I thought you might hate us for that. “ Shigezane started pulling at his clothing, his shoulders slumping. He was making himself all depressed. “Aren’t you scared?” It caused Harumi to go quiet, the smile long gone from her face now. She slowly spun the cup in her hand, her eyes downcast towards her hands. Then finally, “You don’t need to worry about me. I know it’s your duty.” “Really?” he knew he was pressing, and could see that she was upset, but he was worried. He didn’t want Harumi to get swept up in the affairs of war and men and simply be forgotten or treated as an afterthought. They all thought too highly of her for that. “You, Master Katakura, and Lord Date have all been exceptionally kind of me. I earnestly could not bring myself to hate any of you. I swear it, Master Shigezane. My loyalty to your family will never waver, even if you cannot bring yourself to trust me.” Her words stung badly. Did she really think she hadn’t earned their trust? “I know you care about him,” he said. “If there’s a way to a peaceful outcome I’ll definitely try my best.” Shigezane forced a smile, and made a show of lifting his arm and flexing. “If there’s a way to reunite you and your husband, Date Shigezane will make it happen-“ Harumi had twisted her head back towards him. He thought that maybe she would have looked relieved but instead she looked absolutely horrified. She grabbed his sleeve, tipping over their tea cups. “No, please. Please don’t make me go back!” “Hey, hey! Of course not!  If you don’t wanna go we’re not gonna make you!” he said. Shigezane gently patted her hand. Though, he hadn’t been expecting that response. She looked so hopeless, her fingers relaxing until her hands had dropped into her lap. “But I should go back,” she said. Her hands started shaking, and she lifted them to her face defensively. “Of course I should be happy you would try to save him for me. I would be most grateful-“ Haru started to cry and it stirred up a sense of panic in him. These weren’t happy, relieved tears. Shigezane squirmed uncomfortably. More than anything, he wanted to protect her. “Haru?” Shigezane put his hands against her arms, gently trying to coax her. “What’s wrong?” It was all he could think to ask. She was in awful, emotional pain. “It’s me,” she said. “I’m sorry, I’m just awful!” “That’s not true-“ “It is. I’m terrible, and wicked, and awful. You don’t need to be so kind to me!” Haru lifted her face, dropping her hands from her mouth to her chest. “I’ve betrayed him! A good wife would stand at his side and die for him and I can’t even do that much! He’s known all along! And that’s why he left me behind!” That thought made him incredibly angry. Ginmaru abandoning Haru spoke more of his character than her own. “Don’t say that! You’re wonderful!” he insisted. “You are a good wife!” “What sort of wife can’t even give her husband a child?” Haru covered her face again, practically curling up into herself as she sobbed. “Three years . . . three years and nothing! And now I can’t even say that I care what happens to him.” His throat tightened and he wrapped his arms around her, squeezing her fiercely. “You weren’t born to suffer,” he said. “You’re not worthless just because you can’t have children. You deserve love and happiness like anyone else.” Shigezane yanked her back, and pressed his palms against the side of her face. “Harumi!” he said, “The way we do things here is that we do what makes us happy! If you wanna throw mud at the walls you throw mud at the walls! If you want to tell your husband that he’s a jack ass and to fuck right off, you tell him to fuck right off!” She sniffled a little, and Shigezane purposefully smooshed her face. Now she looked quite comical, with tears streaming down her face and her lips puffed out. “I-I can’t say that.” He huffed at her. “You definitely can! I want to hear you say it! ‘Ginmaru, you are a jackass, and I hate you!’” “It is not becoming for a woman to curse in such an awful way-“ “C’mon! Get mad!” he insisted. Harumi paused a moment, hiccupped, and then meekly fulfilled his request. “G-ginmaru. You are . . . you are a jackass. And I . . . and I hate you.” He actually hadn’t expected her to say it and once she had, Shigezane started to giggled and snort like a little boy. “That’s my girl,” he chirped. “Haru, you’re free to do whatever you want to in life. It’s not always easy, but I know you can fight to hold onto the things that make you happy. I’ll support you. We’ll all support you.” Harumi hiccupped again, but once he let her go she seemed relieved. She wiped her face with her sleeve, and then looked remorsefully at all the tea that had been spilled over the verandah. One of the cups had also been cracked. “Oh . . . oh no.” Shigezane rose and brushed himself off dramatically. “It’s just a tea cup. Bon breaks these things all the time.” Then he smiled at her. “Now, speaking of . . . I’m gonna go talk to Bon about our chat.” Her face turned to panic again. “No! Shigezane please don’t! I don’t want him to think less of me!” “I’m just going to ask him to officially annul your marriage,” he remarked. “You know. If that’s what you want.” Harumi grabbed Shigezane’s sleeve, her mouth hanging open for a second before she closed it. “Excuse me?” “He’s Lord,” Shigezane chirped again. “You didn’t think of that? He can just be like ‘this union is bullshit’ and WHAM. You’re a free lady.” Then he started to laugh. “What, you didn’t know that? It’s not like it happens all the time, but it’s still a thing.” Haru chewed thoughtfully on her lip, and then she looked Shigezane over warily. “You . . . do you really think he would do that?” “For you? Of course!” Shigezane gave her a cheeky wink, before he started picking up the tea tray and dishes again. “I hope that even if you find yourself to be a free bird, you’ll still choose to roost here. I think you make some of the best pickled daikon I’ve ever had. And you know we’re all sort of useless without you.” Shigezane was disappointed to find that the tray still rattled, and sighed a little. “If you will all have me, it would be an honor to stay.”