#but also I’m horribly behind on asks I apologize my spotty internet has been not conducive to anything really

[gojonanami]

vampire choso — what if his bite was an aphrodisiac….for both of you

he’s your shy coworker with a huge crush on you — and he ends up nearly passing out after not being able to get blood after a few too many days of overtime—

and you offer to let him bite you—and maybe do much more than bite—and this very shy man is suddenly pinning you down, his fangs brushing against your neck, asking if you’re sure—

and of course you are

[screamingsongbird16-blog]

Love and Life

Summary: Valentine's Day is catching on in post-WWII Japan.  And Tazaki's past is catching up to him.

Also on AO3

           The market was bustling and brimming with life, even on that cold February afternoon.  Seto Reiko made her way through the crowd slowly.  But her pace was not leisurely.  It was . . .  unconcerned. Or rather she was unconcerned. With the crowd, with the market, with life . . .  Her shoulders were slumped with the kind of regrets that life brings to those who don’t know what they have until it’s gone.  And the best part of her life was gone.  She knew that now.  And she had only herself to blame.

           Her life now, was like her pace that afternoon. Slow.  Painfully slow.  She was a middle aged woman who could be expected to have a good few decades ahead of her still.  But she wasn’t sure if she wanted them or not.  

           A splash of red caught Reiko’s eye, and uncharacteristically, she paused, and looked in that direction.  Flowers.  Roses, in particular.  Lots of them. A memory stirred in the back of her mind.  Reiko tried to close her eyes against it, but it came to her unbidden.  Her son, tall and handsome, with his gentle smile and storm colored eyes, presenting her with a bouquet of red and white roses. “Because it’s Valentine’s Day, and you’re the most important woman in my life,” he’d said.  And she had scolded him for not finding a wife before going into the military, unappreciative of the flowers, and unconcerned with foreign traditions like Valentine’s Day.

           In the few years since the war had ended, many things had changed, all throughout Japan.  It had been hard for awhile.  But then things had started to get better.  For most people.  Not Reiko. Nothing would get better for Reiko. She had lost everything that mattered to her.  Her husband, before the war ended.  He’d been walking alongside the road and was struck from behind by a car being driven by an intoxicated captain in the army.  There had been no repercussions for him, and no justice or compensation for Reiko’s husband.  Just months of pain, followed by an opioid addiction, followed by an overdose.  And Reiji, their son . . . also gone.  At the war’s end, she’d received the letter. The letter that went to every family with an unaccounted for, missing and presumed dead son.  Reiko hadn’t even known he’d joined the military.  She couldn’t believe it.  Reiji had been so against becoming a soldier.  Even after her husband raged and threatened to disown him, then went through on his threats.  And Reiko too, had turned her back on him, hoping that he would change his mind, and apologize, and enlist like they wanted him to.  And it seemed he had, without telling them.  But now, Reiko would give anything to take that back.

           Reiko opened her eyes and her vision was blurry with tears.  She stared at the flower stand forlornly and wished that she’d kept the flowers her son had given her.  No. She wished that she’d kept her son. Instead of disowning him.  Driving him into the military, where he didn’t want to go.  She remembered him arguing just why he thought it was a bad idea.  And his arguments had been sound.  He hadn’t wanted to give up all control of his life. And he hadn’t wanted to have to pretend day in and day out that he believed in a cause that he thought was nonsense.  He’d railed against the notion that their emperor was a god.  His father had nearly hit him for it.  But in the end, he’d enlisted.  Either because he wanted them to take him back once he’d proven himself, or because he had no where else to go.  And it killed him.  They might as well have killed their son themselves.

           Reiko wiped her eyes, then continued on as she always did. Slowly, like one who’d lost everything she had to care about.  And then she stopped.  And stared.

           She couldn’t believe her eyes at first.  Or even at second glance.  Because there was a man before her, at a food stall selling steamed buns, who looked so much like her Reiji.  Not how he’d looked when she’d seen him last.  Older.  By the right number of years.  No, he didn’t just look like him . . .

           Reiko began fighting her way through the crowd, struggling to move forward faster, to get to her son.  She wanted to call out to him, but her heart was suddenly in her throat.  And it stayed there, even as she reached Reiji.  But he didn’t notice her.  And unable to speak to get his attention, Reiko did the only thing she could.  She reached out and grabbed onto his arm, with all the desperation of a bereaved mother who realized that maybe, at long last, she could wake from her nightmare.

           Then something happened.  Reiko wasn’t sure what, but one second she was holding her son’s arm, and the next, Reiji had detached himself and put about a meter of distance between them, his eyes narrowed like they always did when he was expecting trouble.  Then he got a good look at her and his expression went slack.  Recognition and surprise crossed over his face.  But quickly, far too quickly, they were gone, and instead Reiji wore a look of polite confusion.

           “I’m sorry.  Can I help you?” her son asked politely, but neutrally.

           “R-Reiji,” Reiko managed to choke.  “Reiji.  You’re alive. Gods, Reiji, I’ve missed you so much –”

           “I’m very sorry, madam.  But I think you’ve mistaken me for someone I’m not,” said Reiji, cutting her off.

           No.  That was impossible.  Reiko knew her son.  This was Reiji.  She knew it. There was no way this man wasn’t her son.  He looked exactly right.  His voice was exactly right.  And she knew. She just knew, the way only a mother could know.

           “Don’t do this,” Reiko begged, realizing what this must be.  Reiji . . . he had every right to be mad, and every right to want to turn his back on her, and deny her, disowning her as she’d disowned him.  But she needed him.  Now more than ever.  “Please Reiji.  You’re all I have left.  Your father . . . he died.  It was the military’s fault.  You were right.  They weren’t what we thought.  I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.  I never should have turned you away.  You were right.  Please, come home.  Please come back to me.  I need you, Reiji.  I need my baby boy.”

           Tears were streaming freely down her face. Such a show of emotion in public was so unseemly and embarrassing, but Reiko didn’t care.  She needed Reiji to know.  And come home.  She’d challenge anyone who lost everything, then realized they might be able to get what mattered most to them back not to get emotional.  

           “Come back.  Come back, Reiji.”

           “I . . . am truly very sorry . . . but . . . I’m sorry. I’m not . . .” Reiji was stumbling. Faltering.  Which was just like him.  He was a kind boy.  Turning down someone who needed him went against everything he was.  “I’m not . . .”

           “Nii-san?  What’s going on?”

A shorter, younger man had appeared at Reiji’s side.  An angel faced porcelain doll.  He didn’t look too much like Reiji.  Except, somehow he did.  His eyes were much wider, and darker, but their hair color was close enough.  And something about their mouths were similar too. And their builds.  Both were slender men, but the newcomer was shorter and slighter.

           Something like hate surged through Reiko as she realized that yes, this younger man could be Reiji’s brother.  But she’d only had one son.  Which meant . . . which meant . . .

           “Otouto,” Reiji said, looking relieved by the distraction.  But at the same time, he looked at Reiko uncertainly and . . . and he maneuvered himself slightly so he was between Reiko and the man claiming to be his brother.

           “No,” Reiko said desperately.  “It’s not true.  Reiji . . . I know that’s not true.  He’s not really your brother.  Please stop pretending.”

           “Who is this woman, Nii-san?” asked the alleged brother.  

           “I don’t know, she just . . .”

           “Reiji, please . . .”

           “I’m sorry, madam.  But I’m not Reiji,” her son lied.

           “My brother’s name is Azaki.  And we need to go.”

           “Please don’t do this . . .  Don’t do this to me . . .” Reiko begged.  And she saw pain flash through her baby boy’s eyes like he was remembering something horrible.

           “I’m sorry, madam,” said Reiji, detaching her from his arm again.  Reiko hadn’t even realized she’d tried to hold onto him again.  “But I really must be going.”

           When Reiko reached out to grab him again, it was deliberate this time, but her hands met empty air.  Reiji had stepped just out of reach so effortlessly that it could have been by chance.  But Reiko knew it had been very deliberate.  Just like the way he gave her a short bow before twisting and melting into the flow of the crowd, almost vanishing in plain sight.

           “Reiji!  Reiji, please!”

           The alleged younger brother stared at her a few moments longer with something like pity in his eyes.  But before she could try to appeal to him, he also gave her a quick bow, then stepped away.  And just like that, they were both gone.

   Notes:

 This fic is set a couple years after the end of WWII.  I don’t think it’s a spoiler to anyone that Japan lost the war.  But the next two chapters have light spoilers in them for what becomes of D-Agency in canon, according to the novels (at least according to a summary of them that I read months ago, that I can’t find anymore to verify) and what I plan to have happen in the aLIvE-verse.  Nothing major for aLIvE-verse spoilers.  Mostly just indications that Something Bad happened, without revealing what that something is.

 Next chapter will reveal why I’m classifying this as a Valentine’s Day fic, even though it’s not in any way romantic.  (Sorry anyone who was expecting Tazaki/Jitsui)  And right now, the plan is to upload the middle chapter tomorrow (2/13) and the final one on Valentine’s Day, but my internet has been kind of spotty this week because of snow.  So I can’t make promises, but I’ll do my best. :)