#but all it’s done is made me nearly cry over that video of alex with the little toy car and miss them all so much my heart aches 😭���

[uhbasicallyjustmilex]

“hold on to your heart” // do me a favour live at forest hills stadium new york 08/09/23 ♡

[babydollmarauders]

MEAN — ALEX TURCOTTE

alex turcotte x fem!reader

part of the Speak Now Fic List

summary: in which y/n opens up to Alex about the hate she’s been receiving from his fans

notes: not proofread! so sorry if it sucks!

y/nonthegram

liked by _alexturcotte, trevorzegras, and 7,297 others

y/nonthegram on a date and our waiter called me a bitch… anyone know what number i can call to complain?

tagged _alexturcotte and trevorzegras

user47 awww they went to dux in tux to support trevor!

_alexturcotte my girl 🖤

y/nonthegram my boy 🤍

user16 thank god she didn’t show her face

trevorzegras sorry, we don’t take complaints 🙅‍♂️ only compliments 💁‍♂️

y/nonthegram that feels very unprofessional

trevorzegras who ever said i was professional? 🤔

jackhughes my boys! looking dapper! and y/n!

y/nonthegram this is y/nphobic

jackhughes i acknowledged you, didn’t i?

y/nonthegram barely

colecaufield @/y/nonthegram i’ll acknowledge you! you look beautiful, y/n!

y/nonthegram @/colecaufield thank you! at least someone appreciates me!

user63 well… trevor wasn’t very far off

user77 have you ever even met her? she’s literally the nicest person ever

user21 she gives mean girl bitch vibes so idc

user98 impatiently waiting for him to dump her

user30 honestly, if he cheats on her on a roadie… would anyone really be upset?

user52 i know i wouldn’t! i think all of us are just praying on their downfall. like, he could do so much better

***

my eyes sting, locked to my phone screen. my hearing is muffled, drowning out the sound of my boyfriend and his best friend just feet away from me.

they sit on the coffee table in front of me, NHL 23 displayed on the tv. they shout curses at each other and the tv, trying their hardest to win for their respective teams on the video game. but my focus is solely on the comments of my most recent instagram post.

all i wanted to do was show off my boyfriend of five years. but his fans were being so mean.

it was nothing new. these comments happened on nearly every post i made. whether they were insulting my looks, or saying Alex deserved better, i could never please them.

usually, i only let myself look at the comments for a moment before deleting them altogether, but today was already a hard mental health day and these comments were hitting me where it hurts. i can’t help but dwell on them longer than usual. today they took my worst fear, and used it as a ‘what if?’ scenario, one of the meanest things they’ve ever done.

i sniffle, standing from the couch. shuffling quickly past my boyfriend, my head hanging low to try and hide my tears as i make my way to our bedroom, shutting myself in the darkened room, the only light being that of the setting california sun peeking through the curtains on the windows.

i crawl up our bed, burrowing myself in a cocoon of blankets and pillows, and turn my phone back on, scrolling through the comments once more. this time, i let my tears flow freely, silent sobs racking my body.

all the comments on my body, my insecurities and flaws, my relationship, even some accusing me of cheating on Alex with our friends. it’s one blow after another, each one cutting deeper than the last.

a loud cry escapes my lips and i clap a hand over my mouth, squeezing my eyes shut and holding my breath; praying to whatever higher power that Alex and Trevor didn’t overhear me from the living room.

my prayers go unanswered when our bedroom door creaks open, the light switch being flipped on, and two sets of footsteps enter the bedroom.

“hey, sweet girl.” i bury my head deeper under the blanket at the sound of my boyfriend’s voice. “you wanna show me that pretty face?”

his gentle tone brings even more tears to my eyes and despite knowing he can’t see me, i shake my head.

“y/n? are you okay?” Trevor asks softly. i feel them both sit on the bed as i hum out a ‘mhm’.

“you sure?” Trevor questions.

“why won’t you let us see you, then?” Alex asks. a hand finds my back, rubbing it soothingly, and the soft touch causes me to let out another cry. i hear some muffled whispering before someone rises from the bed.

“i’m gonna leave you guys to talk, i’ll see you tomorrow.” Trevor announces. “y/n, if you need me, just call and i’ll come right over.”

i hear his footsteps retreating, the bedroom door falling shut behind him before my boyfriend’s hand leaves my back, coming up on the blankets and pulling it down to reveal my tear stained face.

“hey, what wrong, baby?” his eyes are filled with worry, concern dripping from his words like honey. “why are you crying, sweet girl?”

“i’m fine.” i choke and he obviously sees straight through my lie.

“if you were fine, you wouldn’t be crying.” he shifts his body, moving to lay down next to me on the bed. his arm wraps around my waist, pulling me in close, and on instinct, i throw my thigh over his abdomen. his hand comes up to play with my hair, the tips of his fingers scratching my scalp in a calming manner.

“you wanna tell me what’s got my girl so upset?” he questions. he knows he has me in the palm of his hand. he knows exactly what to do to ease my mind and make me feel safe.

“comments.” i whisper into his chest, muttered by lips against his shirt.

“hmm?” he hums. my eyes flicker up to see his brows pulled down in confusion.

“instagram comments.” i clarify, sniffling and wiping at my nose with my hand. “some of your fans aren’t very nice.”

“wait what?” he asks. his hands pause their actions and he pulls my face back to look me in the eyes. “what are you talking about?”

“i didn’t wanna say anything. you love your fans and some of them are so sweet.” i sigh.

his expression is one of betrayal and disappointment. this is exactly why i kept this all from him. he loves his fans so much, i know he would never want to hear that some of them are so cruel.

“y/n, what are they saying?”

“just mean things. things i’d rather not repeat.” i unlock my phone, the screen still on the hate comments of my latest post, and hand it to him, letting him see them for himself.

“what the fuck?” he murmurs to himself. “why have i never seen these?”

“i usually delete them right away.” i confess. “i never wanted you to see them.”

“baby, you should’ve told me about these. these are cruel.” he scrolls through the comments, deleting every comment that isn’t necessarily considered nice.

“i know, but your fans make you so happy. i never wanted to take that from you.” i cry, burying my face in his chest.

“but you make me happier.” his hand rests on my head, the other rubbing my back. “you make me so much happier than they ever could.”

“it just hurts. it didn’t used to hurt this much, but after so long, the comments are getting to me.” i sob. “i just wanna feel okay again.”

“hey, you know nothing they said is true, right? you’re beautiful, and sweet, and the best thing to ever happen to me. you’re the smartest, most thoughtful, kindhearted, loving girl i’ve ever met. and i would never do anything to jeopardize what we have. i would never even think about even entertaining the idea of sleeping with anyone on a roadie, you know that, don’t you?”

i nod my head, sniffling. i raise my head to look at him, his eyes glassy as he wipes my tears.

“i love them, but i love you so much more. and they’re clearly not fans of mine if they think it’s okay to say shit like this about you, let alone to you.”

my insecurities get the best of me and i can’t help but question.

“you’re sure you’re not sick of me?” i whisper.

“you ever looked in my nightstand?” he asks, my eyebrows furrow in confusion and i shake my head.

“not recently, no.” i don’t understand his question, or what it has to do with mine.

he pushes me off of him, my heart sinking in my chest.

this is it.

he’s decided we’re done.

i don’t know what i’ll do without him.

he leans over his side of the bed, shuffling around in his nightstand drawer for a moment before turning back to me, something clasped in his hand.

“i had a more romantic plan, i swear i did. i had a whole speech planned, but my mom said that i should do this when it feels right. and now feels right.”

my eyes widen, my breath going shaky as i consider what he could possibly be meaning in this moment.

i sit up quickly in the bed, as he reveals a black ring box in his hands, opening it to reveal a gorgeous diamond ring.

my hands rise shakily to my parted lips, more tears gathering in my eyes as they flicker between him and the ring.

“you asked if i’m sure, and i hope that this ring shows you that i’m absolutely positive. i can’t imagine a life without you. i can’t imagine what my life would’ve been like if you hadn’t called me a ‘stupid waste-of-a-pretty-face hockey player’ when we were sixteen.”

“all you got from that was ‘pretty’.” i let out a choked laugh through my tears.

“and i’m so glad i did, because that one word was all it took for me to fall to my knees. to chase after you and annoy you for an entire year until you agreed to go out with me. and now i never want to live a life without you.

“you’re my biggest supporter, my favorite person in the world, and the only girl i ever want. i love your kind soul, and the way your smile brightens my day. i love your beautiful eyes and the way you laugh over my dumbest jokes. i love that you fought for us to stay together, even when i wasn’t sure if we would work after i was drafted. i love that you dance in the kitchen when you cook, and the way you romanticize every part of our every day lives. i love that you refuse to go to bed angry, and that you sing in the shower and make me duet you. i love you, for everything you are, and everything you will be. and i would love to spend the rest of our lives together, if you’ll marry me.”

i can’t even get a response past my lips, opting to tackle him instead, nearly knocking us off the bed. but Alex’s quick thinking saves the moment, swaying us sideways instead to land on our sides on the mattress.

i straddle his waist, knocking him on his back as my lips glide along his face, peppering kisses on his cheeks, forehead, nose, chin, anywhere i can reach, before settling on his lips.

i pour all of my emotions into this kiss, filled with love and happiness, joy and affection. i suckle his bottom lip as i pull back to look into his eyes, a large grin taking up the bottom half of my face.

“is that a yes?” he chuckles, a hand resting on my lower back, the other still gripping the ring box.

“that’s a yes.” i nod excessively, holding my left hand out for him. he smiles widely, making quick work of removing the engagement ring from the box and sliding it onto my finger.

“i love you so much.” i tell him, grasping his face in my hands as i lower my lips to his once more.

***

y/nonthegram

liked by _alexturcotte, jackhughes, and 11,759 others

y/nonthegram i said yes <3

tagged _alexturcotte

comments on this post have been limited

jackhughes HE DID IT?! WITHOUT US?! WHAT HAPPENED TO THE PLAN?!

y/nonthegram plan?

jackhughes i mean.. i’m so happy for you guys! i knew you guys were meant for each other!

y/nonthegram thank you rowdy!

_alexturcotte thanks bro!

trevorzegras HELL YEAH BRO! LOCK HER DOWN! SO HAPPY FOR YOU LOVEBIRDS!

y/nonthegram thanks Z! celebration lunch tomorrow?

trevorzegras just txt me the deets, doll!

_alexturcotte thanks bro, and thanks for keeping the secret, even though you usually have loose lips

trevorzegras @/_alexturcotte i resent that

colecaufield MY BEST FRIENDS ARE GETTING MARRIED!! CONGRATS YOU GUYS 🍾🎉🥳🥂💍

y/nonthegram thank you coley! 😙🤍

_alexturcotte thank you cole!

_quinnhughes when did you grow up? stop growing up! i’m happy for you two, but jeez y/n, i could’ve sworn you were still fourteen and stalking practices yesterday!

y/nonthegram hey! i never stalked practices! i simply liked to observe the sport!

y/nonthegram but thank you quinny 🤍 you’ll be my man of honor, right?

_quinnhughes it would be my pleasure, y/n/n

jackhughes hey! why is QUINN your man of honor and not me?!

y/nonthegram because if it’s you then you’re gonna wear a dress. you wanna be man of honor?

jackhughes ya know what? i’ll let Quinn be your man of honor. you’ve known him longest, so it’s only fair.

y/nonthegram that’s what i thought

lhughes_06 congratulations guys!! engagement party at the lake house?!

y/nonthegram engagement party at the lake house!

[missymurphy1985]

Friends with Added Benefits (Part 10 - final part)

Warning - childbirth

Taglist @queenshelby @margoo0 @being-worthy @peakyscillian @ntmynouis @janelongxox @elenavampire21 @noctvrnalmoth @ysmmsy @cloudofdisney @lauren-raines-x @namelesslosers @misscarolineshelby @screemqueen

"Who's fucking idea was this..?!" You seethed as another violent contraction tore through you.

"If I answer that do you promise not to rip my balls off?" You glared at him.

"Cocky little fuckwit.. Jesus...." The pain passed, giving you time to breathe normally again.

"Where do you want to be? Where's comfortable?"

"I don't know..."

"Look at me - your body is gonna tell you exactly what you want okay? Just go with it."

"I really don't know how much more of this I can do!" You cried, tears spilling down your cheeks. He dried them with his thumbs and kissed the top of your head gently.

"You're doing so well.. you really are. Come on, lie down and try and relax?"

"Relax?? I'm about to push a watermelon out of your favourite body part and you want me to relax?!"

The midwife came back in and laughed a little at that, quickly stopping when you gave her a death stare too. Cillian eased you onto your bed so she could examine you, holding your hand and getting you to breathe with him.

"Are you ready to meet your baby y/n?" You glanced at her quickly, you'd never felt more unready for anything in your life...

"Hey, hey, look at me! You can do this! I'm right here with you okay?" You shuffled forward so Cillian could climb in behind you, you'd wanted him to be as close as possible while you delivered. His legs either side of your body as you gripped his hands tight.

"With your next contraction, I'm gonna count to ten and I need you to bear down until I get to ten, okay?"

Cillian whispering in your ear how much he loved you, how strong, beautiful and brave you were.. and suddenly you felt the need to push. Alex counted, and you bore down, teeth gritted, clasping Cillian's hands even tighter.

"Nine... Ten... And stop! Good, that was brilliant.. okay it's going to come again but I need you to pant this time, don't push okay?"

"Baby's crowning, he's nearly here, come on I'll do it with you..." Cillian's voice in your ear was so calming, and as he promised he began to pant alongside you when Alex started to count. You felt like your insides were being ripped apart, you wanted to scream but again his voice soothed you completely.

"Head's out... Nearly there now, few more massive pushes and you're done y/n!!"

Another agonising yet calm 30 minutes of pushing and you felt the pressure disappear, throwing your head back against Cillian's shoulder completely exhausted.

"Why isn't she crying?" Cillian suddenly asked, jolting you upright in a panic.

"Alex?? What's wrong? What's going on??"

"Don't worry, just give me a second..." A desperate few seconds passed, and the room filled with a wail, the most beautiful sound you'd ever heard as your baby was lifted up in the air, both of you sobbing and grinning like Cheshire Cats as you took her onto your chest, soothing her instantly.

"Would you like to cut the cord Dad?" Alex smiled, handing Cillian the scissors. He made the cut and Alex set to work delivering the placenta as the two of you fussed over your baby.

"Told you it was a girl..." You smirked up at him.

"She's so beautiful... My god y/n you're a powerhouse, that was the most incredible thing I've ever witnessed.." he stroked his daughters face and kissed the top of your head, "My girls..."

Settled back at home a few days later, you were on video call with your mum in Spain, showing your daughter off as your mum spent most of the time crying her eyes out. The flights had already been booked for them to come over but not for another 3 weeks - no one expected Lila to make an appearance quite so soon!

The doorbell rang after the call ended, Alison and Nathan entered the room, grinning nervously as he sat down on the chair opposite you. You'd not met him yet, but the resemblance to Cillian was uncanny - same strong jawline, ocean blue eyes, he was his double apart from his hair, slightly lighter due to Alison's blonde locks.

"Would you like to hold your sister, Nate?" Cillian asked, perching on the arm of the chair his son was sat on. He nodded, and Cillian rook Lila from you, placing her gently in Nathan's arms. The young boy was beaming now, absolutely in awe of this tiny little person sleeping soundly. Alison took her phone out to take a photo, sitting next to you on the sofa.

You looked around the room and wanted to cry again - pretty much all you'd done since Lila had been born, you were so happy.

"I'm so sorry about what happened Y/n..." Alison squeezed your hand lightly.

"No, I'm the one who's sorry. Pregnancy hormones got the better of me. Thank you for all the help you gave him, he was amazing when Lila was born."

"He asked for it all - wanted to be fully prepared. My biggest regret is not letting him be in Nathan's life, I shouldn't have done that..."

"Well it's done now. And look at them - you'd never known they'd been apart, thick as thieves already. How's Tom handled it all?"

"He's okay, he had some time to process it. He still wants to see me so I guess that's good?"

"Well in that case I look forward to plenty of the most bizarre double dates I think any of us have ever been on!" You laughed, Alison smiled too.

"Me too. So has it put you off, or are you already thinking about another?"

"First chance I get we're doing this again y/n," Cillian piped up, before you had chance to answer. You wanted to argue with him but you couldn't. You'd have 10 of his babies if you had the chance.

Looking round the room, you couldn't quite believe the events of the last 12 months, but you wouldn't have changed any of it for the world.

********************************************************

[marvelmadam08]

Baby Blues 17/?

Summary: Alex and Chris have their first scare as parents.

Warnings: Blood, emergency hospital visits, slight angst. Fluff.

A/N: So sorry for the delay in posting. I’ve been in a serious downward spiral for a while lately, along with some family drama (I’ll spare the details) but I’m back and will do my best to keep posting regularly.

~~~~~~

11 Weeks ( and 5 Days) Old

Chris was stressed. He was going back and forth between home and work, and when he was home he'd work some more. He would wake up early and drag himself to bed long after both Alex and Ace went to sleep, not that it would make much of a difference. Ace would still cry when Chris would try to hold him or go anywhere near Alex. Now he knew how Dodger felt for the last three months.

Chris quietly shut the front door behind him, knowing that Ace would be in the middle of another nap right about now. He stopped in the doorway of the nursery, it was cooler than usual; the window next to the crib opened just enough to let some fresh air breeze through. Ace was soundly asleep, his tiny fist was halfway in his mouth covered in drool. He made his way down the hall to his own room. Alex was on the bed, Dodger curled up by her side, her focus on the laptop in front of her while she typed away. He took in how she looked, her freshly washed curls were out, which he loved; and she was wearing her ‘lucky’ writing shirt and a pair of shorts.

“Hey babe.” Alex grinned. Chris climbed up on the other side of Alex, draping his arm over her lap and sighing deeply “Rough day?”

“Something like that.” He turned to look at the laptop screen “What are you writing?”

Alex covered his eyes “Nothing.”

“Is it about me?” Chris tickled her side, Alex half shrieked, trying to push his hands away

“Chris, cut it out- you know I don’t show you my chapters until I’m ready.”

“C’mon, I just wanna make sure you’re writing me accurately, as a loving supportive, sexy husband- ‘with eyes that rivaled the bluest of oceans’-”

Alex cringed at the memory of her slurring those words to Chris after an eventful Girls Night Out she had with her old college friends. They were engaged at the time, drunk Alex thought sending Chris a 'sexy' voice message would be the best way to rile him up for when she got home. When she woke up the next morning, with a massive hangover and no solid memory of the rest of the night, Chris was there with aspirin and let her listen to the voice message and watch the video of her trying to sneak back in the house without being caught.

“I told you that in a drunken state!” Alex pulled the pillow from behind her and smacked her laughing husband in the face. “You’re such a jerk.”

"Now you're in trouble." Chris sat up, pushing the laptop off her lap and tickling Alex's sides

"Chris, I didn’t mean it." She said between giggles “Get him Dodge.”

Dodger sat up, ears twitching slightly, before he bounced off the bed and ran out the room all together. 

“Traitor.” Alex pouts

Chris pushed himself up on his knees, his hands grabbing Alex by her legs and pulling her closer. His eyes roamed over her body, one hand rested on her thigh while the other cradled the back of her head; playing with the tiny coils there.

“Chris, you’re gonna mess up my hair.” Alex smirked

“Then put the bonnet on and let me do what I need to do.” he whispered, now leaning in closer to press his lips to hers.

Dodger ran back into the room, whining loudly before barking. 

“Shh, Dodge you’re gonna wake the baby!” Chris shushed. Dodger barked again, with more fervor, Ace cries shortly followed, he ran out once more; still barking and growling. “Dodger, enough!”

Alex huffed before pulling away from Chris. “I’ll get Ace.”

“I can do it.” Chris offered

“No, it’s fine, but do me a favor and grab my bonnet.” she winked slipping out of his grasp in time to keep him from smacking her ass. Chris jumped up from his spot on the bed to rummage through the dresser for the silk bonnet.

"Chris!" Alex shrieked

"Al?" He ran for the nursery, Alex was practically halfway in the crib scrambling to get Ace, Dodger was doing his best to climb inside the crib too "What’s wrong? What happened?"

Something jumped out the crib, Dodger took off after it, giving Chris room to see what was happening. Ace was nearly red in the face, crying and scared; a small series of scratches covered his face and arms.

"There was a squirrel in the crib, it must’ve gotten in through the window." Alex picked Ace up holding onto him closely "Mama's here, it's okay I got you."

"We gotta take him to the hospital." Chris was already grabbing the carrier and nearby baby bag. 

“It’s okay, it’s okay.” Alex gently laid Ace in the carrier and strapped him in, he continued to cry and squirm

***

Ace's cries carried on the whole ride to the hospital. Alex and Chris were talking over each other when the nurse asked what was wrong, thankfully she was able to understand and rushed a doctor over.

They both watched the nurse apply a soothing aloe lotion to the scratches, while they sat on the other side of the room. Ace rested in the incubator, staring back at the nurse, from time to time he would turn his head in the direction of Alex’s voice.

“It’s all my fault, I’m so fucking stupid.” Alex sniffled, rubbing her legs, partly to comfort herself but also because she was cold, not thinking to grab longer pants before leaving the house. 

"No, Al it is not your fault, and you are not stupid." Chris shrugged off his long sleeve flannel, draping it over Alex's legs then wrapping his arm around her shoulders. 

“I left the window open.”

“You made a mistake, mistakes happens all the time with first time parents.”

“How many first time parents let a wild, rabid squirrel into their newborns room?” Alex huffed “He hasn’t even gotten his second round of shots yet. He could get rabies or typhus, maybe ringworm.”

“He’s going to be fine, the doctor said the cuts weren’t that deep and we got him here in time to catch anything.” Chris kissed the top of her head “He’s gonna be fine, Al. I’m sure of it.”

“Okay, we’re all done.” the nurse cooed at Ace, placing mittens on both of his hands to keep him from scratching “The doctor should be back in just a moment to let you know how the tests went.”

“Thank you.” Alex was the first one up, hurrying over to the incubator “Hi baby. Mommy is so sorry for letting that mean old squirrel scratch you up.”

Chris walked over to the other side, smiling down at his son. “Hey bud.” he smirked slightly watching Ace rub his face with the mittens “You know we owe Dodger something special, for scaring that squirrel off.”

“He probably mauled that thing.” Alex stated, then poked out her bottom lip at Ace “Didn’t he, didn’t Dodger attack that nasty little squirrel that scratched up your face.”

“We should get him a treat on the way back.” Chris stuck a hand inside the incubator, stroking Ace’s cheek gently. “And we should probably move Ace’s crib from by the window.”

“Agreed.” Alex looked up when the room door opened again, seeing the doctor walk in “Good news?” 

“Luckily majority of the scratches weren’t that deep, and the ones that were didn’t show signs of any other infections. No traces of rabies or any other diseases in his blood, which is extremely lucky considering he still hasn’t had his second round of vaccines yet.” he doubled checked the clipboard, “I will recommend that if any of the scars start oozing or he shows signs of swelling, that you come back to see me. As well as changing his soaps to ones with Aloe, to keep him from scratching.”

“Of course, thank you.” Chris shook the doctor’s hand “Are we all set to take him home?”

“Absolutely. As soon as you sign the release papers.”

***

Dodger was at the door as soon as it opened, he sniffed at Alex and Chris, looking for Ace; whining softly.

“Ace is alright, Dodge.” Alex assured, Dodger followed after her to the bedroom. She laid Ace down in his bassinet, currently still asleep from the car ride home. 

Dodger padded over to the bassinet, curling up next to it. Alex knelt down to pet him, giving him well deserved belly rubs and ear scratches. "Good boy Bubs."

"Very good boy." Chris came up behind Alex with a hefty bone for Dodger that they picked up on the way home. His ears perked up at the sight and he sat up waiting for Chris to hand it over "Proud of you, Bubba."

Dodger wasted no time gnawing on the bone, remaining in the protective spot next to the bassinet.

“I think this was a quickest he’s gone to sleep.” Chris stated in reference to Ace, a small smirk on his face hearing his son’s soft nasally snores. 

“The aloe lotion and the drive put him right to sleep.” Alex secured the mittens on Ace’s hands. Chris wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her in closer and rested his chin on her shoulder. “He looked so helpless today, so scared. And it was my fault I never have him nap in a different room and the one time I do- this happens.”

“It wasn’t your fault Al, you couldn’t have known.” Chris spoke softly “Do you know how many times my brother and I have sent each other to the hospital?”

“I heard the stories Chris, you practically tortured your poor brother.” Alex sighed “Are you saying that, this is gonna be the first in a long roster of hospital visits?”

“I’m saying, look at him. He’s here, he’s healthy, and he’s going to be okay.” Chris kissed Alex’s cheek “Let’s get to bed.”

Alex half pouts, but allowed Chris to pull her over to the bed. “But I’m not tired.”

“Then you can keep me company, because I’m exhausted.”

They both settled on to their respected sides of the bed, but still drifted to the middle; Alex curled into Chris's side, letting her head rest on his chest and his arm wrapped protectively around her.

“When did you become the voice of reason in this relationship?”

“After all these years, I’m still full of surprises.” Chris kissed her on the forehead “Now go to sleep.”

“You’re bossy.” Alex yawned

Chris woke up again around four in the morning, not that he truly went to sleep, each time he closed his eyes he kept hearing Alex screaming, Ace crying, and something even more rabid or dangerous than a squirrel was in the crib next to him. He acted a lot braver than he let on today, giving Alex positive assurance while his own thoughts were just as frightful for the outcome. 

He slipped out from under Alex without waking her, walking up to the side of the bassinet. Ace stared back at him with sleepy eyes, rubbing his face with his mitten covered hands.

"Hey bud, you're supposed to be sleeping." He whispered, gently picking Ace up in his arms. There was no fussing and no crying this time, Chris held Ace to his chest bouncing from foot to foot to lull him back to sleep. “I’m gonna tell you a little secret, just don’t tell Momma, but I was really scared today, seeing you all scratched up and hurt. It felt like my heart stopped, it probably did a few times.” he kissed the top of Ace’s head “I’m not gonna let anything hurt you again, I promise.”

Alex stirred, feeling the empty space next to her "Chris?" She focused her eyes on her husband standing over the bassinet "What's wrong?"

"Nothing’s wrong, we just couldn't sleep."

“Bring him over here.” Alex patted his empty space. Chris laid back in bed, still cradling Ace against his chest, Alex returned to Chris’ side. Dodger hopped up next, pawing at the bed for permission. “You too, let’s go.”

He hopped up, nestling himself between their legs, curling up at the foot of the bed.

“Better?” he asked her

“Much better.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Taglist: @madbaddic7ed @sweetie20 @kidkool90 @maleekabenjamin @sophiayoongi-hyung @lovelokiqueen @loki8484 @buckysforeverprincess @dezdechild @marantha @lydslikestyds @wakandabiitch2 @across-the-starss @hbh6064th @jaydeee86 @alexabrown7 

[idy-ll-ique]

What The Hell, Gyllenhaal, You Could’ve Just Told Me!

Pairing: Jake Gyllenhaal x F!Reader

Requested: Nope

Warnings: None

Genre: Floof

Summary: Y/N is Jake's assistant and he has an interview with Another Man.

Author's Note: I've had enough of not posting so you're getting this. I wrote it a long time ago, I think a few weeks after his actual interview with Another Man. Anyway, I'm posting it now so enjoy!

---

Jake POV:

"Y/N! Where are you?" I groaned as she finally picked up my call. "Outside, open the door!" I got up from the couch and opened the main door to see Y/N rushing towards me. I blinked, she looked so beautiful. Then again, she always did. I ended the call and kept my phone away. "Thank God, where were you?" I asked her as she stood outside, panting. "I'm sorry, my alarm didn't go off, my phone's battery died. I woke up late and then… well, now that I'm here, we should probably leave."

I nodded, grabbing the keys to my car and house. We left the house and got into my car. Y/N, if you didn't know, was my assistant. And she was the prettiest girl I had ever laid my eyes on. "Where to, first?" I asked her. She took out her phone. "Interview for Another Man. Then the photoshoot," she told me. I sighed and she looked at me. "Everything cool?" she asked softly. "Yeah, I'm bored already." She laughed, which made me smile.

"Come on, man! You were so excited about this, I know you. It's something else." I chuckled, shaking my head. "It's nothing, I swear." She stared at me suspiciously for a few seconds and then gave up. "Whatever." There was silence in the car as Y/N opened Instagram on her phone. "Should I put on some songs? We've got at least another half an hour in the car," I said and she shrugged. "Sure! Songs would be nice." I grinned and turned the radio on. 

Y/N raised her phone and I glanced at her. Oh, she loved taking photos. I followed her on Instagram, it was the best thing ever. She posted videos of her dancing and singing. As planned, half an hour later, we reached the office of Another Man. I parked the car and the two of us got out. We walked towards the entrance.

"Oh my God, Y/N?!" At the high-pitched squeal, both of us turned around. Two women walked up to us. "Hi," Y/N waved. "We're big fans! We love your Instagram, you have a beautiful voice!" Y/N exchanged hugs with both of them. I stood to the side, smiling. "Holy shit, Jake Gyllenhaal!" one of them squealed, looking at me. "Hello." I shook hands with the two ladies. "Can we get a quick photo, please?" Their names were Rebecca and Julie.

Julie raised her phone to take a selfie. Y/N draped an arm around my shoulders. My arm went around her waist and we smiled at the camera. After that, they went away. "You're more famous now," I teased Y/N as we resumed our walk towards the building. "Shut up," Y/N muttered with a smile on her face, giving me a slight push.

I laughed, shoving my hands in the pocket of my jeans. "Really though, I agree with them. You do have a beautiful voice," I said as we walked into the building. I saw the interviewer and his crew waiting for us. 

"Aw, thanks Jakey-poo," Y/N smirked and I rolled my eyes. "Don't call me that," I told her and she shrugged. "Okie, Jacob Benjamin Gyllenhaal," she grinned. "Jake is fine," I sighed, waving at her as I walked towards the interviewer. He led me to another room and I glanced back at Y/N. She sat in the lobby on a couch, keeping her backpack on her lap.

The interviewer and I sat down. "Hi, I'm Alex," he said, holding his hand out. "Hi," I smiled, shaking his hand. 

"One question before the cameras roll- Who's the girl outside?" he asked. "Oh, that's my assistant, Y/N Y/L/N. Very sweet gal. She's more famous than I am, apparently," I laughed. "Really? How's that?" Alex asked, amazed. "We met two fans outside, like, 15 minutes ago. They recognized her first," I snorted. Alex laughed, too. The cameras rolled and we began with the interview. 

---

 "Thank you for talking to us, Jake! It's truly been amazing." Alex and I stood up, shaking hands. "Thank you for having me! Do we do the photoshoot now?" I asked him. "Yeah. We have a few sets designed and a few venues as well, assuming you'll be comfortable shooting at different places?" I scoffed, waving my hand. "Of course, I'm cool." Alex then introduced me to Jessie, who was the photographer. "How about I meet you at the bridge?" she offered.

"Sure, no problem."

She gave me the address and left. I walked out of the room and looked around for Y/N. She wasn't where she was supposed to be. Her stuff was there, where was she? "Boo!" Startled, I turned to look to my right. Y/N was grinning at me, wiping her hands with tissues. "Goddamn it," I sighed, rubbing the back of my neck. "Ha, gotcha. I was in the bathroom, silly," she snorted, walking towards her backpack. She kept her phone away and swung the backpack over her shoulders. 

"Where to, Captain?" she asked, tipping an imaginary cap. I told her the address as we walked out of the building. "You know, I met 3 people while you were giving an interview. I guess I am famous," she mumbled. "That is awesome, Y/N," I smiled, getting into the car. Y/N sat next to me and opened her backpack. "Yo, drink water."

She handed me a bottle of water before I could start the car. "I'm not thirsty." She stared at me with a raised eyebrow until I drank some water. 

I could never deny her, could I? I had a huge crush on her and it was common knowledge that people would do anything for their crush. I handed the bottle back and started the car. The bridge where we were supposed to go was nearly an hour away. "Ah, here it is. I waited for this for so long now, it's here. I'm impressed." What was she talking about? "What?" I asked her.

"News about us dating!" I nearly swerved the car. "The news about us WHAT?!" I asked her loudly. 

"Calm down, you big baby. Apparently when we met Rebecca and Julie there were paps around and they took a lot of photos. You know them, always printing the wrong news," she rolled her eyes. "Well then, Miss Famous, post it on your Instagram, tell them we're not dating," I grumbled. I did want to date her, though.

"Ah, good idea." She opened Instagram and I could hear her long nails clicking against the phone as she furiously typed something out. "Done," she said a minute later. 

"What did you write?"

 "I had been waiting for news like this. LMAO, I'm not dating @jakegyllenhaal I'm his babysitter," Y/N chuckled. "You wrote that?!" I yelled. Y/N burst out laughing. "Kidding, I wrote assistant, don't worry," she wheezed. I sighed in relief. A few minutes passed by in silence.

All of a sudden, Y/N's stomach started growling. "Shit, sorry," she whispered, blushing furiously. She clutched her stomach. "Hungry?" I chuckled. "Yeah," she sighed. "Wanna stop by, get some food?" She quickly shook her head. "No, we'll be late, then." I frowned. 

"It doesn't matter, you do. Come on, tell me where you want to eat," I said and she continued shaking her head. "It's alright. After the shoot we'll catch a snack, for sure," she insisted. I gave up. "Do you at least have snacks in that bag?" "Sure," she mumbled, taking out a toffee. She peeled off the wrapper and ate it. "Did you eat breakfast?" I questioned. "Nah, I was late, remember? Didn't bother," she shrugged.

"Not done, you gotta eat," I rolled my eyes. "Whatever, dad."

We reached the venue and I parked my car at the start of the bridge. The bridge was isolated for the shoot. "Aren't you getting down?" I asked Y/N when she didn't move. "I'm fine," she muttered, looking away. What happened with the sudden mood change? "Okay," I said slowly and closed the door after getting out. I kept the AC running for Y/N. Jessie was on the bridge, waiting. "Oh, hey, Jake! Ready?" I gave her a small smile. "Sure." She walked away and I leaned against the railing, sighing.

"Everything alright?" I heard and turned to look at the guy working on the lights. "Yeah, I'm fine," I told him and he nodded. "Alright, huge smile!" Jessie called out from a few feet away, holding the camera up. I managed a smile. Jessie was about to click the photo when she frowned. "Come on, man, not genuine. What's up?" Ignoring her question, I gave a broader smile. She simply lowered the camera, staring at me with a raised eyebrow. 

"We need authentic smiles, Jake. Do you want to shoot a little later when your mood is better?" Jessie asked softly, walking towards me. "Please! How about 2 hours later?" I sighed, relieved. "It's Y/N, isn't it?" I stared at her, shocked.

She only gave me a knowing smile. "I'm just like you, Jake. When my girlfriend is unhappy, my mood changes as well. Go make her feel better, then return when you're done," Jessie chuckled, patting my arm. I nodded and started walking away. I didn't even have the heart to correct her about the whole 'girlfriend' thing. 

"Also, what happened? Did you two get in a fight?" I turned around to face Jessie. "No, I… I found out Y/N did not eat breakfast and she was really hungry… but she refused to eat because I would be late to this shoot. She doesn't care a lot about herself because of me. I feel… guilty," I explained in a tired voice, rubbing the back of my neck. "Well then, I would definitely suggest feeding her first if it would make you feel better," she laughed. I gave her a small smile and walked towards my car. 

When I reached, my eyes widened. "Y/N, what the fuck, what happened? Why are you crying?" I hastily opened the door and sat in the driver's seat. She sniffled and wiped her tears. "I'm fine, it's just… whenever I'm super hungry I get all moody and sad because my stomach hurts and- Wait, are you done with the shoot already?" she questioned, confused. "No, we postponed it, we're up 2 hours later." I started the car. "What- Where are we going, Jake?" she asked as I drove to the nearest fast food restaurant. 

"We gotta put some food in that belly."

Y/N chuckled and I felt a hand on my thigh. "Thank you," she whispered, laying her head on my shoulder. "It's okay." We fell silent. "Did you postpone the shoot because of me?" Y/N asked quietly a few minutes later. "Yeah. I felt bad that you didn't eat for a long time and I couldn't smile for the photos. Jessie figured out it had something to do with you. She suggested we postpone, actually," I told her truthfully. "You're too sweet." 

Y/N pressed a kiss to my cheek and I smiled. We arrived at a McDonald's drive thru. We collected our orders and I drove back to the bridge. I parked the car in the same spot as before and turned to Y/N. 

"After you, milady," I smiled, gesturing towards the food. She took off the covering and bit into the burger. "Thank you so much, Jake, you're the best boss one could ask for," she squealed and I chuckled. I took out my phone to quickly check my Instagram while Y/N ate. I wasn't hungry, I didn't order anything for myself. When I heard a giggle, I looked up. 

Y/N had sauce all over her lips, pretending it was her lipstick. I opened the camera app and discretely clicked a photo because she looked too cute. With a smile, I returned to Instagram. "Wanna share?" Y/N questioned and I looked back at her. She was holding up the pack of fries. 

"Nah, I'm cool. You're the one who should be eating!" I told her. "Come on, man! You bought me two goddamn Big Macs and I was barely able to finish them! Eat this with me!" She shook the pack of fries in front of my face. I sighed and picked out one. We shared the pack of fries. 

Y/N was in a much better mood after eating. We had half an hour to kill after eating before we were back on schedule. "So… Y/N, tell me something about yourself." She narrowed her eyes at me. "What?" she deadpanned. "Come on, we've got nothing to do. Talk to me," I whined. "Well… what should I tell you?" she shrugged. "Your favourite things," I smiled. 

"The colour red, red roses, winter… the song Happy Now by Zedd…" she said, counting on her fingers. 

"That's nice, but I've never heard of the song," I shrugged. "Oh, no? The one that goes you're a world away, somewhere in the crowd, in a foreign place, are you happy now? There's nothing left to say, so I shut my mouth; won't you tell me, babe, are you happy now?" A smile bloomed on my face as Y/N sang. "Sing it for me," I blurted out and she looked at me. 

"Okay, let me put on the karaoke." Both of us took out our phones. I opened Camera and kept the video recorder ready. 

"Are you recording?" Y/N sighed, putting on the karaoke. "No, I'm on Instagram." Y/N believed my lie and started singing. She sang the first verse and the chorus. After she was done, I ended the video. "That was awesome! People are right, you do have an awesome voice," I told her with a grin. "Great! Your mood has improved, Jake, go for the shoot," Y/N said with a smile. "Only if you come along." Both of us got out of the car. 

Jessie was talking to someone but turned as soon as she saw us. "Oh, hey guys! I hope you're fine now," Jessie snorted, looking at me. "I'm fine, honestly," I laughed. "Great! Let's get to work!" The photoshoot was a huge success. I had broad smiles throughout because everytime Jessie clicked a photo, my eyes were on Y/N. 

---

"Ya know, Jake, you shouldn't cut your hair."

Y/N and I were back at my place. "What? Why?" I asked, running a hand through my hair. "I think it's a good look on you. I like men with long hair, so when you're like, cuddling, you get to play with their hair," Y/N smiled, not looking up from her phone. I stared at her, a smile on my face. A few seconds later, Y/N looked up, wide eyed, cheeks as red as a tomato. 

"I'm so sorry, I didn't- I-" I chuckled and got up from my place on the couch. I sat down on the floor in front of her. 

"Jake, what are you doing?" Y/N whispered as I took her hand. "Do whatever you want," I told her, placing her hand on top of my head. I heard a small chuckle and felt her hand combing through my hair, massaging my scalp. "Your hair is so soft," Y/N mumbled. 

"Thanks," I chuckled, closing my eyes. This was so soothing; I leaned back, laying my head on her lap. I took my phone in my hand and put on some songs. A song, specifically. All Your Days by Shallou and Emmitt Fenn. 

Y/N started singing along. I smiled, I could never get tired listening to her, her voice was absolutely angelic. "Hey, Y/N?" She made a humming noise. "Wanna get coffee later?" I heard her laughing and looked at her. She was grinning at me. "Are you asking me out?" she teased. "Yeah, actually," I whispered, eagerly awaiting her response. 

She leaned over and wrapped her arms around my shoulders in a tight hug. "Of course." I smiled, hugging back. 

"So, like… have you liked me for a while now?" Y/N questioned a while later. I was sitting next to her now and she was snuggled into my side. "You agreed to be my assistant around 5 years ago, right? I've liked you for the past 3," I answered truthfully and she sat up. She looked at me, an eyebrow raised. "You've lived with your feelings for 3 years now?" she asked loudly. 

"The most difficult three years of my life," I joked. "What the hell, Gyllenhaal, you could've just told me," she laughed. 

"You've liked me, too?" My jaw dropped. She nodded and I pulled her back in my arms. "If only we were bold enough," I laughed. She opened Camera on her phone. "I'm taking a selfie, join me." She smiled at the camera. That smile turned into a grin when I kissed her cheek. I watched as she opened Instagram, put a long caption and posted the picture. 

Alright, paps, you win this one. It wasn't one-sided; turns out, he's interested in me, too. Guess who's going on a date this evening with @jakegyllenhaal? 

I laughed when I read the caption. "You're a pro at coming up with Instagram captions," I told her. "You learn from the best," she winked. "Aw, thanks!" I said, touched. "What, no, I was talking about Ryan Reynolds." Y/N burst out laughing as I shoved her, frowning. "I'm kidding, stupid," she laughed, falling back against my chest.

---

A/N: Please ignore typos/mistakes, it’s just a fun, light-hearted fic. Thanks for reading, do like if you enjoyed it! Follow me for more fics, the masterlist is in my description (this reads like a YouTube outro lmaooo)

[yourcoffindoor]

Bulletproof Heart Pt.4

AN: YAY its finally here! Thank you so much to everyone for reading and for your patience! This is the final part of this series. enjoy <3

"Y/N?" a gentle tap on the wall outside your bunk. It was Liz. "We have an interview with Spin in like 5 minutes."

You groaned and pulled your wrinkled sheet over your face, turning away from the sound of her voice, soft and hesitant as though she were afraid the slightest noise would shatter you further.

"You guys go without me," was your muffled reply, "I've hogged the spotlight enough anyway."

" Are you sure? They'll probably be pissed the lead singer isn't there."

"Then let them be pissed."

Liz lingered in silence for a moment before deciding it was best to leave you be. It had been a couple of weeks since you'd found out about Alex's little foray into filmmaking, and a gush of old trauma had emerged new again. All the work you had put in to rebuild yourself and to forge a new life had all but crumbled away in a matter of minutes, and you isolated yourself in response.

You stopped leaving the bus because of the stares. Once rumors had gotten out that there was video footage of you doing the deed, people seemed to glance over at you before whispering insidious somethings among their companions. You didn't need to hear their conversations to know just how humiliating their words were. Things took a turn for the worse when reporters began to have the audacity to ask you about the video, probing into if you were in a relationship with Alex. It was then that you realized he had sabotaged your moment, your success, and made it all about him.

You began to miss a few shows, something you had never done before. But you just couldn't bring yourself to give a damn. Your bandmates kept their distance, realizing you needed your space; but their concern was permanently painted on their faces.

"Hey Y/N," Gavin spoke hesitantly one afternoon, "You know...Gerard's been asking about you."

The sound of his name made your heart beat quicker. You hadn't made an effort to see him since the video came out. "Oh?"

"Yeah he really wants to see you. He's worried about you...we all are."

"I'm fine." you said curtly. "I mean, tell him not to. I'm fine. I just need to be alone."

"You sure? I think some social interaction might do you some good--"

"Gavin, I want to be alone. Please."

He merely nodded before heading out the bus door, finally giving you what you asked for.

Out of respect for the fans, you managed to pick yourself for performances again, but it felt like you were merely going through the motions, your passion nearly extinguished. You became angry at yourself for feeling this way, like you were giving up on yourself and your goals. Between sadness and guilt, there was no bright side you could look to as an escape.

Then, you ran into Alex.

This was what you had really been dreading. You knew how smug he must be, knowing he must've gotten under your skin, his favorite place to be. You'd snuck out of the bus for some much needed fresh air, but you didn't need to go far before you heard your name being called.

"Y/N! wait up!" a chill shot down your spine. You didn't turn around. Instead, you began walking faster.

"Hey, hey, hold on a second--" He grasped your arm, but you pulled it back so quickly it seemed to surprise him.

"Leave me the fuck alone."

"C'mon don't be mad."

You couldn't help but laugh at the nerve of his comment. "How could I not be? I didn't even know you had filmed me. I didn't get to agree to any of this! And then you decide to make it public? And you," you said, angry tears building up to a waterfall, pushing a fist into his chest, "you are a nightmare that won't go away! Why can't you just leave me alone?"

Alex was calm-- So calm that it only angered you further. "You're thinking about this the wrong way. The publicity could be great--I mean people are already eating it up. They love us together. Honestly? I did us both a favor." He smirked, making your skin crawl. "But there's something else, Y/N. Something you should remember." He leaned forward, speaking into your ear in a low, serpentine voice, "This is what happens when you think you can go off and make something of yourself without me."

You were speechless, your stomach dropping as if it had been kicked. "You're disgusting. I'm leaving."

"Going to see your friend Gerard? Hey, ask him what he thinks of our movie for me. I'm making another one with some My Chem fans anyway." He spoke to you with your back turned, already walking away, but you could hear him smiling.

You halted in your steps, torn between slapping Alex across the face, crying, or simply walking away. After a deep breath and far more self control than you knew you possesed, you chose the latter, swiftly walking back towards your bus to isolate once more.

****

The sun was revolting.

That was the first thought when Gavin flung open the curtain that marked the border of your bunk, your own personal ecosystem that no one had dared enter for the past few weeks. He kneeled on your mattress and reached over you to open the blinds on your wall, and you winced as the sun struck your face like a laser.

"Merry Christmas, Y/N!"

"Gavin, its August."

"Well it might as well be Christmas when you hear what I have to tell you."

You groaned and rubbed your eyes. "What is it? I'm prepared to be underwhelmed."

"I didn't even need to open that window! There's that bright and sunny optimism we've come to know and love."

You hit him with a pillow. "Out with it."

"Alex got--"

"ALEX GOT KICKED OFF WARPED TOUR!" Liz shouted, bursting into your bunk from out of nowhere.

"What the hell Liz! I wanted to tell her!"

"Too slow!"she teased.

Your head was reeling. "Wait, wait, wait....what? How?"

"Don't know all the details but it definitley had to do with his...activities. Turns out he was asking underage fans to flash him and his band to get backstage and shit. Someone snitched I guess, thank god. The whole band's been kicked off and banned from Warped tour.

For the first time in forever, you laughed.

You practically cackled. You laughed so much that it felt like you couldn't stop.

"I think we broke her." Liz muttered to Gavin.

"That's fucking amazing." you said, wiping tears from your eyes.

"It is, and its good to hear you laugh again." Gavin said. "Come out with us later, to celebrate."

"I will sometime, but I'm still not quite ready. People are gonna try to ask me questions, I just know it. I'm still not up for it."

Liz and Gavin nodded. "We'll be here when you are."

***

Later that afternoon a few quick knocks sounded from the bus door. You debated getting up to answer it, but human interaction was the last thing you wanted right now. There were a few more small knocks; and you able to ignore the unwanted visitor until, after a moment of silence, something slid under the door. Once you heard their footsteps disappear into the distance, you peeled yourself from your nest on the couch to investigate.

It was a white envelope with your name scrawled across the front. You hesitated for moment, wondering if another piece of your past was about to jump out and bite you. But after steeling yourself you pressed on, your fingers swiftly retrieving the mysterious contents.

You immediately smiled. It was a card with a drawing of you on the front, in a style that was unmistakably Gerard's. You were on stage wailing into the mic, confidently waving your middle finger. You couldn't help but laugh.

Fuck em all. The world needs you out there. If you're feeling up to it, come to our set tonight.

Hope to see you there.

-G

You closed the card and reveled in the much needed buzz of happiness it gave you. Gerard. You thought he would've have been angry with you since you had all but ghosted him these past few weeks, but that clearly wasn't the case. Your legs wanted to run after him, but you as you were covered in dorito dust and sadness, you decided to stay put. You'd make yourself somewhat presentable and then see their performance tonight.

***

You stood just off stage,  just hidden enough in your oversized hoodie to feel comfortable. Right before they began their set, Gerard turned and saw you, eyes widening with a glad surprise as though he hadn't thought you'd actually come. His expression quickly melted into a welcoming smile, and you couldn't help but break out into soft grin of your own.

The band greeted the crowd, already energized and cheering them on. You'd expected them to launch into a song, but instead Gerard began speaking.

"This is a special set tonight guys, because someone very important to me is here. Someone so strong, so kickass that sometimes I wonder if she's even a real fucking human being." He glanced over at you, eyes electric and impassioned, immediately i heat rise to your shrouded cheeks. "Well some asshole tried to hurt her. Tried to make her feel small. But I want her to remember she's too fucking amazing to ever let someone make her feel that way."

You could feel the sting in your eyes as tears began to build.

"And that goes for all of you out there, cause these same assholes have been messing with fans too. So if you ever see shitty ass rock dudes in shitty ass rock bands asking you to show them your tits for backstage passes, I want you to spit right in their fucking faces and yell 'FUCK YOU!”

The crowd went crazy, and you couldn't help but let out a small cheer as well, despite the tears streaming down your face.

"Y/N," Gerard breathed, "This is for you." and with that, the band launched into one of the most passionate sets you'd ever seen. You stayed for it all, loving every moment. As soon as it was finished, Gerard thanked the crowd and made a beeline off stage, directly where you had been stationed all evening.

His eyes were dancing with happiness at the sight of you, pumping with the adrenaline of performing, sweat still dripping from his dark hair. "Hi," he said,pausing for amoment as though he was holding back from so much more, "you came!"

"After the invitation I received? How could I not?"

"So you liked it?"He beamed, his cheeks, pink from exertion, reddened further. "I wanted to do like a mini comic but I ran out of time." As he grinned, fresh crimson gleamed from a small split in his lower lip. What you thought had been makeup turned out to be a genuine injury.

"You're bleeding." you observed softly.

His brows furrowed in confusion, a finger darting to his lip. He dabbed it, smearing blood onto his chin.

"Damn, again? Don't worry, it's nothing."

You didn't hesitate to grab a tissue from your pocket, step forward and gently press it against his cut. He looked down at you with affection, causing you to look away as your heartbeat picked up its pace. Instead you analyzed his face and noticed it was patterned with small bruises.

"Doesn't look like 'nothing' to me. What happened?"

It had been just the two of you speaking intimately just off stage, but crew and media began pouring through and milling about the area. You realized just how close you were standing to Gerard, and pulled your hand back when you noticed people watching. A pew passerbys patted Gerard on the back, offering their compliments of the band's performance. He quickly thanked them, barely turning his attention from you, afraid you might run off. He grabbed your hand, leading you to a quiet area.

"I may have gotten into a fight."

"What!? You don't even leave your bus, how did you get into a fight?"

"I had to. Someone very important to me was being hurt."

You stared at him for a moment, putting the pieces together in your head. Gerard knowing about the video, Alex's sudden departure from the tour...

"Gerard, you didn't."

"I did, and I'd do it again, Y/N. Besides, you can't say he didn't have an ass-kicking coming to him."

You let out a soft laugh, but your vision began to blur as tears welled. A swirl of emotions welled inside of you, tumultuous and much more than you had anticipated feeling tonight. You were touched that Gerard was so concerned about you. Embarrassed that he had to get involved at all. Glad that he did, after all.

At the sight of your tears, he stepped closer. It was him now who tenderly wiped your face, brushing away stray tears with his thumb.

"Jesus, Y/N, I can stand a few punches to the face but I can't stand seeing you cry."

That was all you needed to hear to get oceans pouring from your eyes instead of streams. You embraced Gerard, burying your head into his shoulder. Gerard folded his arms around you in response.

"Y/N I want to tell you...I mean I hope you know...just how important you are to me and how I feel about you. You deserve to be happy."

"You're so nice to me that I almost don't know how to process it." you admitted beneath an awkard, tear-ridden laugh. "Thank you. You need to know you're important to me too. I..I just--" You planted an aggressive kiss on his cheek, unable to express your myriad of emotions in words.

"There, I think that expresses everything."

"Everything?"Gerard asked, brushing a strand oh hair behind your shoulder, "There's a few points I'd like to add."

His hand cupped the side of your face and your lips met, softly at first, a salty mixture of tears and coppery blood. The kiss quickly deepened, caught in your own world, unable to get enough of the taste of each other. That is until Gerard winced and pulled back, blood dripping from his lower lip. His cut had only deepened from your exertions.

"We'll have to postpone this until that's better." you said, handing him another tissue.

"Damn. Kinda regretting that fight now." He laughed.

"Don't regret it. Besides, its not an entirely bad look on you." you teased.

A bashful expression crossed his face as he brushed his hair back from his face.

"I hate to say it but I have a press thing to do in a few minutes with the guys. Meet me in my bus later?" He said, offering another peck on your cheek.

"I'd be crazy not to." you replied, ambushing him with one final hug before he walked off.

You realized something immediately. Despite everything, the heartache, the surprises--you regretted nothing. And as you lifted your fingers to your lips, still buzzing from impact, you knew this had been a tour that changed your life, after all.

Tomorrow, you'd be back onstage, ready to begin again.

Taglist: @pacifymebby​

[takenbythebliss]

Everyone else slowly filtered out after the sermon, but she stayed behind and he noticed. She picked up the books and cleaned the pews and he noticed, so it was beside the teenager he sat and placed an arm around her. "What your former brother has done to you, it isn't fair Lynette." He patted her arm and pulled her into an embrace, looking down at her over the yellow-tinged aviators. "Tell me now, I reckon he's jealous because he can see you special. It's why he brought those outsiders into our midst - to tear our family apart. But hush now, I will not let him take you." Because she was special and the Father had plans for her the faithful young girl. "Ya see, Lynette you have faith inside of you and I know you will achieve great things, will you let me help you do that?"

she might have put on a brave face in front of her brother and his new-found friends, but the guilt was starting to weigh on the teenager's shoulders and where she would have once sat in one of the front pews, her guitar close-by, linny was now sitting in the back row, trying to avoid any further attention today.

waiting for the last few parishioners to filter out, the teenager busied herself picking up leaflets and bibles left on the pews or any flowers that had flitted to the wooden floorboards of the church.

she had known that mark had disapproved of her attending the sermons of the project. he always had, even from day one. he'd been there at pastor jerome's service the day the pastor had invited joseph up to the pulpit to speak - he had heard the same words she had and yet he'd been deaf to them.

everyone deserved the benefit of the doubt, so she'd told herself that her brother just didn't understand - he'd been distracted that day and hadn't heard the words in his heart. but as the weeks went by, linny had realised that it hadn't been an unintentional deafness that had taken hold of mark - he hadn't wanted to hear the father's words.

the same as pastor jerome.

the same as mary-may.

the same as nick and kim.

but this?

this was just too much. calling vloggers to ask them to come to hope county and investigate what was going on - selling them a tale about how his little sister had been abducted by some cult?

it was nearly enough to laugh at, if she didn't feel like crying so much inside. he'd brought them to a sermon and all - like, he'd absolutely made a holy show of her in the eyes of the project. even when they'd been caught red-handed, they'd fought the cleansing. and then that guy - alex? - the one that mark had brought here, he'd just uploaded some bullshit video onto social media and it was blowing-up online ... which was her fault too, right? it all led back to mark, who led back to her.

... had she brought this to the project at eden's gate?

blowing out a weary breath, linny flopped back onto the pew when the last few stragglers let the door of the church shut behind them, and she scrubbed her hands over her face, thinking she was finally alone. but a beat of a moment later an arm curled around her shoulders and linny found her tongue glued to the roof of her mouth when she found herself looking into those yellow-tinted aviators.

joseph. the father.

wasn't he displeased with her though? after everything mark and those strangers had done? the lies and cruel words they'd spewed? the trouble that was surely going to follow that video that guy had uploaded?

but he wasn't angry. he wasn't displeased or disappointed ... he understood. and that realisation alone had a lump forming in the teenager's throat. not trusting herself to speak straight away, linny nodded her head, curls bouncing as she followed it with a more adamant nod, joseph's words settling her thoughts and she could see it clearly now ... she could see that this was her path. eden was her path and there was no going back after what mark had done, there was only forward now.

' y-yes ... i want to be here. i want to find my place in eden. i know that this is my family now and i want to do what i can to protect it. '

[florencewritez]

The cycle

AN: hope yall doing good, i am tired and listenting to kids by mgmt and only kids by mgmt.

WC: 1543 Words 

WARNINGS: lowkey toxic relationship but lowkey the point. alexs jumper gets ruined

"I can't wait to do this again." That's what he'd said the last time we broke up, messing with his hair and casually scrolling through his Instagram. I'd rolled my eyes at the time, saying it was the last time he'd ever see me long enough to say a word to my face. He didn't even look up from a screenshot of a football match, barely even hummed.

At the time, I'd believed my words, pushing past a very confused Alex holding two cups of tea, mumbling an apology before I slammed the front door closed and fell to my knees crying. I hadn't stopped crying till a deliveroo driver had to awkwardly sidestep past me and asked if I was waiting for the food. The taxi drive home had been silent, only noises being my sniffles and incessant typing on my phone.

Y/n: I broke up with George for real this time.

Will: You always say that

Will: By the way did you spill tea on Alex? He's very upset about some expensive hoodie being stained or something

At the time I'd left Will on read, sending Alex a half hearted apology with a few hearts and clicking off my phone. It was then the taxi man turned in his seat and asked if I had had a rough day. I just nodded back, sniffing extra loud for dramatic effect. Yes, I had the worst rough day ever. First, George forgot we had a date, again, and I had to go to his flat to remind him. Then it turned out he'd forgotten to book the damn restaurant and we had to just go back and order takeout. It started with a simple comment of "Maybe we'd be eating actual Italian food and not fucking dominos if someone had remembered to book the restaurant," and spiraled into an extremely heated and quick argument that I can't remember half of. It was just spitting words in each other's faces, not meaning any of them, a crappy movie playing in the back. At one point, Alex came home and attempted to solve things with reason. Of course, such things aren't welcome during stupid fights and he quickly made himself busy with 'editing' in his bedroom.

By the time I'd stumbled in my apartment door, giving a half assed explanation to my very stoned roommate, the idea it was over cemented itself in my head. This time, I'd told myself, biting my lip till it bled, this time I'm not going back.

Easier said than done considering we're in the same friend group and have to consistently film together.

James: Hey y/n, Will wanted me to ask you to come over to his today to film if you're free

Y/n: Yeah I'm free. What's he need me for?

James: Probably a reddit video knowing him though the fact he asked all of us over is a bit suspicious, not to mention he made me text you instead of doing it himself

Y/n: What do you mean he asked everyone over?

James: Haven't you seen the groupchat? Alex, George and Mia said he asked them too. Knowing Will he'll need us for two minutes and then abandon us to edit or something

Y/n: Oh how lovely :)

And now I was here, sitting on Wills couch in between a very scared looking Alex and my ex of two days, listening to Will explain his video idea in great detail. I wish I could lie and say I was listening ever so carefully and definitely not hyper focusing on how George's fingers kept brushing against me accidentally as he moved to drink, wasn't taking notice of ever slight movement of his leg, inching ever so closer to mine. Every so often I'd dare flicker my eyes to his, always at the exact moment he happened to be looking my way. I'd just stick with Mia I told myself, hand curling into a tight fist and gulping, Mia would understand.

"Right so I'm going to film quickly with Mia first because she has to mind her nephew later, can't be late. Shouldn't be too long though so no one get any ideas and leave," Will announced, stating a wiggly Alex down at the last part. Mia stood up, saying she was fine with that. I gave her a pleading look, begging her to stay, to make an excuse and make someone, anyone else, go first. She only gave me a guilty smile back, following Will up the stairs, patting the watch on her wrist. Of course Will chose to film the one day Mia wasn't free for the day.

As soon as they were gone, Alex and James shared a look and quickly excused themselves to the kitchen, Alex nearly tripping over himself as he scurried away. Great friends I have.

For a moment, an awkward silence filled the air, heavier than any scientist thought possible. I gulped and tried to subtly move to where Alex had been sat before but only managed to make a disgustingly loud noise as the leather squelched under me. Curse the summer heat and it's strange sweat noises.

George looked at me properly for the first time, stupidly perfect blue eyes settling carefully on mine. "You look nice."

I squirmed. "Thanks. New skirt."

"Yeah I know, I bought it for you last week." Ouch. I physically cringed and heard George sigh beside me. "Can we talk?"

Crap, the true signal the cycle wasn't over yet. There was always the beginning, crazy and wild and perfect, the pinnacle of a young couple in love in the city. Then came the coziness, nights out turning into nights in and bars turning into movie nights. After that came the fizzle down period, usually lasting for about two weeks before one of us snapped and said it was over. A week later, someone would say can we talk then two minutes later it was back to heavy making out and laughter as the cycle begun again.

Of course this time would be no different, what was two days ago me thinking? This thing with me and George had been going on for nearly three years now, pissing off friends and fans alike with our mysterious relationship status. Still, it suited us pretty well huh?

So, I let out a breathe and nodded, curling my legs under me as I turned to face him.

"Okay fine," I agreed, resting my hand on the couch just near enough his for him to notice. "But only if we take it seriously this time."

He nodded, smiling softly for the first time I'd seen that day, lips turning up at the end and my stomach went all dopey, any hesitation melting away. He'd always have that effect on me it seemed.

"I'm sorry for forgetting about our date, I've just been pretty stressed lately with my upload schedule and stuff and it slipped my mind. It won't happen again." Of course it won't. Every-time we broke up, we never repeated the mistake again. Maybe one day, we'd run out of mistakes to make and things would be the perfect couple we wanted to be.

"And I promise I'll be more reasonable next time something upsets me. We should have mature conversations about stuff like this, like normal couples do." And I would if it meant never feeling that strange tightness that had filled me the past two days without him. One day, we'd get it right, I was sure.

"So does that me-" I cut him off with a quick peck to the lips, laughing when his eyes widened.

"Will you be my boyfriend George?" He didn't reply and only repeated my peck, my hands coming to rest in his hair as I deepened it to something more. "Do you think we'll actually make it to the end?" I asked between kisses, mumbling dangerously close to his lips, having swung my legs over his already.

"Jesus Y/n we haven't even been dating for two minutes yet, might be regretting my decision already." I chuckled, knowing that was his off handed way of saying 'yes of course'. I leaned back in, feeling his hands pull my waist closer before we heard an extremely loud sigh.

"Right next time you break up, wait until I put on something cheap yeah?" Alex groaned, turning back around and walking straight back into the kitchen, carrying two cups of tea again.

I couldn't help but burst out laughing, leaning my for head against George's and relishing in the warmth that came with the contact.

"You know there's a new club open near here. We could go later?" His hands somehow found themselves intertwined with me. It was the same thing over and over again, the same old cycle.

I smiled. "My roommates gone for the night, you can stay at mine after."

It was the same cycle over and over and I lived for it, every part of it. One day, we'll get it right and maybe most of the excitement comes from wondering it this is the time we do everything perfectly. A spark in his eyes reminds me I won't care anyways.

I'm addicted to the cycle as long as it's with him.

[amythecinnabunny]

71 and 100 Julie and Luke

71. Twenty-Four Hours to Live  

100. Accidentally Saving the Day   

You really would like to kill the fandom and me wouldn't you???? I tried so hard to make it jukebox specific but the whole band + Willie are so closely entwined with each other its nearly impossible akxbjsbsbs

So I'm thinking canon-verse? But a year later or less. I think more than a year would get a little awkward as Julie would surpass 17 in a year's time.

All our current problems and issues are resolved by this point. Ray, Carlos and Tia Victoria have met the band. Possibly Carrie too. The Bobby/Trevor debacle is dealt with. Caleb is deslth with (he's not dead(er) he's just keeping to the HGC). Julie and Carrie have since mended their friendship. Jukebox and Williex are official now. Possibly Flarrie too, maybe Kaylie. Maybe Nick/Flynn. Maybe Carricklynn. Maybe Nick/Reggie. Who knows, anything is possible. Julie can see but not touch Willie -- but he others can't see him at all.

The band has made it big by now. They're the latest and greatest. Almost everyone is talking about Julie and the Phantoms. By now, articles and posts refer to them as legends.

Julie's looking at colleges now and it's kinda settling in that Julie's growing up. In a year, she'll be done with high school and going off to college, something the boys never even had the change to do. So that angsty conversation's gonna happen.

But then things start to get weird. Sometimes, Julie will pass through the boys but they won't immediately notice. Or they'll be talking to someone other that Julie and they'll sort of flicker. Not physically or anything its just that to the other person, they're flickering.

Oh yeah, for this, I'm gonna go with the more they play with Julie, the more human-like they get and by the end of the year gap, they're visible full-time, just not always tangible to people other than Julie. They can still do their gimmick cause the whole visible thing is on command. So you can bet your ass Luke vanished on the spot when Ray asked about jukebox.

The strange thing is . . . It's happening with Willie too. Sometimes Willie's hand will go right through Alex's. Sometimes he and Reggie are playing video games with Carlos and then both of them see Reggie flickering and Reggie, of course, doesn't notice

One evening, after a late night gig, Julie and the boys gather on one couch to watch the local 24/7 news together and see them hit the highlights on a recap. The newscaster??? newsreader??? wtf do you call em? anyway the presenter brings them up near midnight and calls them Los Angeles' most beloved legends.

Midnight on the dot, the boys get these circles on their wrists. Like tattoos. A stamp. Just a thick black ring. They're all confused about it and they check Julie's wrist for a ring -- maybe it's a magic band thing? -- but Julie's wrists are free of any black circles.

They're so confused, they spend all night thinking about it. Julie doesn't even sleep. She calls Flynn about it. She calls Carrie about it. She even talks to Carlos until he gets tired. Alex brings Willie over to talk about it. They're all so baffled that they don't notice it changing until dawn-ish.

Willie's the one to notice Alex's. A quarter of the ring is missing. Julie grabs Luke's wrist and compares it to Reggie's before scrambling over each other to put their wrists next to Alex's. All still identical, with about a quarter of it missing.

"It looks like a countdown."

"What happens when it counts down to the end?"

Silence

Willie says he'll ask around the HGC. Yes, Caleb is safe to visit. His ass has been kicked and it's mostly embarrassment that keeps him holed up when he's not performing or practicing.

Reggie shrugs it off, saying he and Carlos have a date with Destiny. Destiny 2, to be specific. Alex also shrugs it aside, he has a Dirty Candy rehearsal to crash and he's not about to miss it. (The running lie is that the boys visit Julie after every gig. Maybe Kayla knows the truth too. Idk it's small details, up to the author that would like to decimate me by writing this)

That leaves Luke and Julie alone together. Julie can't get it out of her mind. If it's a countdown, what's it counting down to? What happens at the end?

Luke tries to take her mind off it with some songwriting after she gets breakfast, maybe practicing a little together. They even write a little bit of a duet together. Luke keeps Julie entertained for a full four hours, amid which Alex returned and chose to go and watch Reggie and Carlos completely lose track of time.

Julie takes an hour-long nap, leaving Luke to stare at the ring on his wrist and wonder why it's nearly a half circle now.

Willie pops into the studio in a frenzied panic, Reggie and Alex in tow. Luke is so startled, he nearly drops the acoustic. The clatter wakes Julie. Willie looks almost apologetic when he notices her.

Julie asks him what he found out as Luke sits next to her and helps her move her hair from her face. Willie struggles to explain. He's half hoping that maybe, if he doesn't say it aloud, it won't be true. He says it's a clock. It's twenty four hours.

Reggie is the one who asks what happens at the final hour. Willie doesn't answer for a long while. He just holds Alex's hand tight.

At the same time, Willie's hand drops as if he hadn't been holding on to anything and Luke's arm passes right through Julie. The boys flicker before Julie and Willie and it lasts nearly ten seconds.

It slowly dawns on them. No one wants to say it.

"They cross over," Julie whispers when the silence gets heavier than the revelation. Willie only nods. The silence in the garage weighs on them almost visibly.

They look at their wrists, almost half circles.

"So we have about twelve hours left," Alex says. "Maybe we can figure out a way to stop it."

Willie reaches for Alex's hand again. "I asked. There's no way to stop it. Once your unfinished business is complete, you have twenty four hours before you're gone from here. Gone for good."

Luke is adamant there's a way to stop it. His arm tightens around Julie, like she's the one leaving. He hates the defeated look in Willie's eyes. He hates that even in the back of his own mind, there's a voice telling him to get his affairs in order before he dies for the second time.

By the time Reggie determinedly states that there has to be a way to stop it and that they will figure it out, the marks have become perfect half-circles. There are only twelve hours left.

I don't wanna think too hard about it because I don't need to cry at 10pm, but there will be a lot of sad but sweet jukebox moments in between it all.

By the time there's only a third of the ring left, they've started losing hope. They haven't found a single ghost who has any idea how to help. The internet has been very unhelpful. There was a group of wiccans who tried to help but they suggested a spell that didn't look very authentic and it also involved sacrificing a goat at midnight and well, they didn't have until midnight. Still, the wiccans were very sympathetic and wished them well.

They didn't know how to tell the rest about this and they didn't have any idea how to say goodbye to each other. It felt like they were trying to say goodbye to a piece of themselves, the the most important part of themselves.

At the three-quarter mark, Reggie quietly tells Alex and Luke that they ought to spend some time alone with Willie and Julie. If Reggie/Nick or Reggie/Flynn is a thing for this, then Reggie would spend some time alone with them. If not, probably Ray and Carlos.

Cue the most heartwrenching conversation you have ever read in your life, ending with the worlds most grief-filled kiss. I'd get into it but like I said up there, I cannot afford to start crying now.

It's a thin black strip when they get together in the studio. Reggie's partner would be there too if he has one. If not, it's just the band + Willie.

Willie hasn't let go of Alex for over an hour, but now, when the mark is a nearly invisible line, he nudges Alex forward, towards Julie and Luke.

"Band circle?" Luke tries to joke. It only makes their tears fall faster.

Reminiscent of the hug they shared when Caleb's stamp lifted, the four of them try as hard as they can to hug each other as tightly as possible. Willie thinks to himself that he feels strange not being the last person to hold Alex, but it feels like for his band to be the last people to hold him.

None of them are very co-ordinated outside of music related things and just like the night a year ago, they tumble to the ground when someone stands on someone's foot and someone leans a little too much in one direction.

Willie can't help the laugh. It's just so them to be so undignified even in their last moments. He can't even see any of their marks anymore. The only reason he knows it must still be there is because the boys are this there. They knock the radio down and it starts playing the last inserted CD. Willie joins them on the ground and lays his head on Alex's chest as Now or Never fills the studio. --like we'll live forever, but live it like it's now or never

Julie, from between Luke and Reggie, reaches over to grab Alex's hoodie, just so she can be holding on to all of them when it happens. "I love you guys so much."

Luke kisses her forehead. There is a chorus of, "I love you too, Julie." Willie and Alex quietly share another set of "I love you"s.

Julie has long since gotten used to laying her head on Luke's chest and hearing nothing, but the silence behind the old song is nearly deafening. It just serves as a reminder than this is the last time she will ever see or touch Luke or Alex or Reggie again. She wraps her other arm around Reggie. It's uncomfortable and is probably bruising some part of her body, but she needs to be able to hold them all before they go.

Julie shuts her eyes and holds tightly to her boys, wishing with all her heart that there was some way to save her boys again. Some way to bring them back properly this time, so they could grow up with her. Some way to make sure Alex and Willie could stay together, that one of then won't ever have to say goodbye.

It only registers that something feels a little strange after the song abruptly cuts. The CD scratches, trying to play the rest of it but there's just a steady clicking sound. It clicks on a steady count. Like a steady drum beat. In time to a pulsing beat.

Like startled stoats, Willie and Julie shoot up and lock eyes over Alex and Luke.

The boys are, rightfully, confused.

Julie and Willie spiderman-meme point at each other, sputtering like an old car on a frozen winter morning.

Still confused and expecting to be long gone, they boys sit up and search their wrists for any traces of the mark, even the thinnest of lines.

Finally, Julie gets a coherent word out. "Heartbeat!"

"Heartbeat!" Willie echoes, nodding vigorously.

They're still jabbing their fingers at each other, having a full conversation with their sputtering sounds.

"Heartbeat?" Reggie echoes, baffled.

Julie and Willie yell at Luke and Alex, "Heartbeat!" It seems to be the only word they can get out. Clicking her tongue, Julie grabs Luke's hand and presses it to his own chest.

Reggie screams suddenly. He's standing suddenly and he's got his fingers at his neck. "P-p-p-pulse!"

He looks at Julie and Willie. "Heartbeat," he says slowly, understanding.

Alex screams. Willie only realises Alex had been holding his wrist when he lets go.

"What?"

Alex reaches out for Willie, as if to cue his face, but instead places his fingers just under Willie's jaw. He screams again, startling Willie, who never expected his boyfriend to look him in the eye and shout like he'd seen a demon. So Willie screams. Which startles Alex. Who screams again.

Luke finally registers what's going on. He screams. Right in Julie's ear. She gets startled. She screams. Startling Luke. Who screams again.

Reggie is still screaming with each place he puts his fingers and feels a steady beat.

There is so much screaming going on in the studio that Ray and Carlos make their way down too. Carri and Flynn, who wanted to be there for Julie after, come barreling in after. The four of them stand there, perplexed, as Julie, Alex, Reggie, Willie and Luke, all standing now, point at each other and scream.

Its pandemonium, honestly. A miracle none of the neighbors have come over to check.

And Julie drops her first curse in front of her dad as she stares at Luke, Reggie and Alex. "WHAT THE FUCK, YOU GUYS????"

Willie, who's never had any qualms cursing when no living adult could ever hear him, stares at Juliie like she's grown a second head. "NO! NO NO NO! NOT THEM WHAT THE FUCK! ME WHAT THE FUCK!!! ME!!!!"

Julie squints at Willie. "What??"

Alex holds up Willie's wrist. "PULSE!!"

Julie's eyebrows shoot up. "PULSE???? WHAT DO YOU MEAN PULSE?!"

"I mean pulse! What do you think??"

"What the hell is going on in here?" Carrie finally mutters.

As one, they all turn to the perplexed group in the doorway. Julie grabs Luke and drags him up to Carrie. She almost throws him at Carrie with the amount of force she uses to thrust his arm at her. "Pulse," she says, pointing to Luke's wrist.

Carrie sighs. "You know you're the only one that can--" Carrie screams when Julie slaps her arm with Luke's hand. Carrie screaming startles Flynn, who let's out a short screech.

"NO MORE SCREAMING!" Ray yells. In the silence, the clicking radio seems to get louder. Not trusting any of the screaming teenagers, Ray turns to his son. "Carlos, can you turn that off, please?"

Carlos rights the radio and presses the pause button. He presses it again. Sunset Curve fills the studio for a second -- dreaming like we'll live forever -- before Carlos manages to get it off.

Later, after they've explained everything and are still trying to wrap their heads around it, Julie crawls onto the couch beside Luke and lays her head on his chest. It's incredibly strange to hear a steady beat where there was once nothing but she can't deny that she loves the sound of it.

"That demo has more magic in it than the entire Hollywood Ghost Club," Alex mutters from the armchair he and Willie are squished into.

"I wonder what'll happen if I listen to any of the other tracks on the demo," Julie jokes.

"We'll probably grow wings," Reggie mutters from under Carlos, who had been so thrilled that Reggie wasn't leaving anytime soon, he had fallen asleep hugging Reggie.

Alex and Luke laugh, sharing an inside joke.

"You think you guys would still be here if Reggie didn't knock the radio over?" Willie asks.

"All hail, my mighty inability to watch where I'm going."

This time, Julie and Willie laugh too.

Julie curls up against Luke and sighs contentedly, listening to Luke's heart pound against his ribcage. In that moment, she can't think if anywhere else she'd rather be, anything else she'd rather listen to.

For the first time since they died, when Julie finally falls asleep, they doze off too.

Willie feels strange. When he yawns, he realizes he hasn't been tired since he first woke up as a ghost. It's nightly inconvenient and annoying, but he hasn't felt this alive since Alex first kissed him. As Willie dozes off, he makes a mental reminder to figure out what included him in the whole thing. He'll forget when he wakes up and they spend the day celebrating their mere alive-ness.

Things get even more interesting when Julie and the Phantoms perform again and Jullie accidentally walks through Luke, but that's a whole other story.

[tegoshigeftw]

Tegoshige Top 25

“More Tegoshige, please!” - said absolutely noone and I delivered. Well, this isn’t for 5 likes, this is for me. I’ve had this blog for 6,5 years now and I decided to look back on the best it had to offer. This is my rating of top Tegoshige moments, excluding those that tightly involved other members (so the making out had to be left out ;;). The things that made my heart doki doki... It was originally a top 10 but it was getting hard to pick so I decided there literally was no reason to hold back so here we are.

#25 4x9

That one time Tegoshige went on location together (which is already a blessing) and Tegoshi got freaked out because of insects running about and nearly got into Shige’s lap. Nearly. So it heads the list.

# 24 Halloween 2017

Tegoshi was Oiran - an elite courtesan - and Shige was Alex from Clockwork Orange. This was but a short moment but is lasted forever in my mind.

#23 Dropped earring

This was during White final. After the boisterous MC scene where Shige was the couch and Tegoshi was the girlfriend, Shige noticed Tegoshi dropped his earring, picked it up and gave it back to him. Just a minor moment, but Tegoshi was still in girlfriend mode and it was incredibly soft. Video here.

#22 Neverland in Tokyo encore 2017/06/11

Tegoshi got very emotional after he went backstage but the fans kept cheering so they went back on stage again and Tegoshi wouldn’t stop crying so Shige led him softly.

#21 As long as Tegoshi is happy...

Before a live performance, they were interviewed and as it was just after Tegoshi’s birthday, they were asked what they wanted to give so...

S: … (in his best ikemen voice) As long as Tegoshi is happy, that is enough! T: Ahhh! ♥ I am loved! Thank you, Shige-chan! I wanna hug you!~

Video here.

#20 The Spa

It was a photoshoot for Biteki. They were originally in different sandboxes but Tegoshi got lonely very soon.

#19 Hairstylist Shige

Shige has been Tegoshi’s stylist for years, since the early days. You can see it in photos and several DVDs, most notably Live Diamond. Video cut here.

#18 “Shige, thank you!”

The night after the Neverland Tokyo concert, 2017 Shige got a call...

S: After the concert ended, Tegoshi had a party with his friends. And so late at night he suddenly called me saying “Could you come for a bit?” S: He seemed to be serious and he cried so much at the concert. (laugh) I got worried and came over but this guy… he just fell asleep! (laugh) K&M: That’s terrible. S: He woke up once, looked at me saying “Shige, thank you!” and went back to sleep. T: Moreover, I was sleeping in Shige’s lap. [S]

Tegoshi: After the last concert in Tokyo Dome I invited several members of staff and Juniors and we basically did a wrapping up party. I called Shige at 3 AM and he came but I ended up falling asleep in Shige’s lap though I don’t remember that at all. I heard it afterwards but apparently I sang “I’m coming” and Shige sang “Ayame” but I don’t remember a bit… [S]

#17 Neverland in Tokyo 2017/06/10

According to a fan report: At the intro of some song, Shige grabbed Tegoshi by the waist tightly. At first, Tegoshi was playing along but Shige didn’t let go and Tegoshi, not used to being attacked, got embarrassed.

#16 Umeboshi

Shige’s been making umeboshi for years now and his #1 fan is none other than Tegoshi.

S: I’ve been doing it for 10 years. It’s not that I like them, I hardly eat them myself. During the tour our Tegoshi eats quite a lot of them. I leave it (in the dressing room) so after the concert he opens it and eats it. About half of them I make for Tegoshi. [2017.02.08 Moshimono Futari]

Q: If you were to give Christmas presents to the members what would it be?

A: …Well, umeboshi! Umeboshi! Eat my umeboshi and get healthy! I give it to Tegoshi every year though. Ah, but that’s showing “Love”. I give it all the time but it’s a deep love that has a special depth! (laugh) [2018.12.05 TVガイド]

#15 Blue making

This is perfect for several reasons, how naturally this fells, how there’s a perfectly empty chair next to them, and how at the end Tegoshi stumbled and Shige is cautioning him.

#14 That 2013 photoshoot

You know the one. That is all. No comment needed.

#13 Tegoshige Kabe-don and confession

During k-chan news, they played the Prince game and Koyama wanted a kabe-don. So Tegoshi kabe-don’d Shige and told him “I love you!”

The audio available here.

#12 Tegoshi’s kirakira eyes

Back in 2009, Shige had a diary and I’m really sorry he does not anymore because one day after a photoshoot he wrote this:

At that time he had seemed to be already smiling and looking at me Looking at me at such a close distance Is this an effect from DREAM BOYS As compared to before, the distance was so much more closer Tegoshi Yuya Indeed is a prince………….. Oh please won’t you be even a little embarrassed. Just how strong is your heart? Don’t look at me like that………… Being looked at with those shiny eyes…………… The atmosphere will become weird (oдO) ………………………………….. Tegoshi Yuya who has ended the photoshoot using those shiny eyes, had walked towards DREAM BOYS with that pair of eyes Ah~ shiny shiny Tegoshi eyes~ I’ll be waiting for that photoshoot~ I wonder… for which magazine would it be Oh the kira kira eyes

Full text here.

#11 That Taiwan hotel video 

We all remember that one. Tegoshi in his bathrobe going out to visit ‘other members’’ rooms but he only goes to Shige’s and gets comfortable on his bed, and gets pounced, and the next thing they show, it’s morning.

#10 Soukon thigh stroking

That time the camerman got very fascinated with Tegoshi’s legs and the other members teased him about it and called him a pervert. Then, Shige decided to stroke those thighs because... well, he can. 

#9 Taking a bath together!

- An unforgettable episode that happened on stage.

Kato: Because of a thunderstorm we had to stop the concert. We moved it to a later date. After a break the 4 of us got into tiny bathtubs, 2 in each and it felt sort of like a field trip, (laugh) the bath was warm. [Duet 2015.04]

They also talked about it during an MC at the time.

Shige pretended to climb into the “tub” with Tegoshi. “We were Team… What was it again?” T: Team “We haven’t done our solos yet”. S: And Tegoshi was sliding all over the place and smacking into me. He was such a naughty guy. T: It couldn’t be helped. It’s slippery. K: But baths are nice, aren’t they? Shige answered in a chill voice, “Yeah, they’re great.” [S]

#8 Worldista routine

I think this was during Weeek where they make up different letters with their bodies. Every concert it went differently but several times Tegoshi left his place and went over to Shige. This fancam pictured the time he got on top of him. Or tried to.

Also here’s a report from Nagano, May 25:

Tegoshi goes to Shige and captures him in a hug and Shige hugs him back. Then Shige picks Tegoshi up and carries him like a sleeping child to his original position. [Fanart here]

#7 Showers

Tegoshi is long known to invade other people’s privacy and during the tour, other people’s shower stalls are no exception. There are many recent episodes but here’s one account:

Q2: Shige-chan said in Nagoya when he took a shower Tegoshi appeared right before his eyes but does he do it always?

S: Not… always but he did it quite a lot on this tour. He trespassed about 3-4 times I think. He would enter the shower room I went to really quietly. That’s why I got really startled. He’d get happy he made me surprised and start grinning. (laugh) I would counterattack by pouring water over him.  

[Tour Stories from Popolo 2016.09 FUN’S QUESTION - SHIGEAKI]

Then, there’s an important MC from 2008. One time, during the tour Massu wanted to take a shower but as he entered the stalls, he met a naked Shige standing proudly. Shige explained he was only waiting on Tegoshi who earlier danced for him naked. Massu was like “Cool, I’ll leave you to it.”

The full account is here. There used to be an audio of this but I didn’t manage to get it.

#6 DTF ‘ago-kui’

There were many instances during two whole tours and also a SCP performance. Each time seems a little closer and more intimate, but each time looks equally fun on both sides.

#5 Accessible Emma outfit

Now we know that Shige, unlike Tegoshi, is not a touchy kind of guy. So him doing something like this, especially on air, is pretty unusual. Tegoshi said Shige did it a lot backstage too.

#4 “I wanna stir you up”

This line from ‘S’ was a real hit and Tegoshi basically admitted it got him horny. Twice. Detailed posts here and here.

#3 Tegoshi saying they’re basically married

Here’s the video.

#2 Tegoshi knows what’s up

Who do you think has the most sex appeal?

Tegoshi: Shige. His face is handsome like a nobility but he’s also manly. Rather than a shining sexuality his sexuality is monochrome… a deep sexuality. It’s the kind that slowly unravels as you get to know him.  [Wink Up, 2013.12]

Who would be a perfect boyfriend in NEWS?

Tegoshi: Wouldn’t that be Shige? It seems like he wouldn’t be clingy but all the while even when he’s silent, in his heart he’d be like “I’m thinking about you properly ♥” keeping a good distance. [Ane Can 2015]

Look with a “female gaze” and say who’s the most handsome member Tegoshi: Alright, I’m switching to female… click! …Hello, I’m Yuko! (laugh) So… for me it’s Shige. The reason is his face and his way of life. His face is up to my taste (laugh) and he doesn’t hesitate in words or in actions. His open-minded way of thinking is similar to mine. It’s refreshing and feels good. [Potato 2016.10]

To name but a few.

#1 Shige radio confession

During k-chan news, they played the Prince game and Koyama wanted one person to say what they liked about the other person and this is how Shige confessed.

K: Do it properly! Seriously. Connect hands “lover style”, look at each other. *giggle* S: Tegoshi has a really cute face. Really cute face and a good voice… K: That’s not it. S: A nice voice and beautiful eyes… K: Something you really like, really like.  S: But I really do like it. K: Something more about his personality. S: If it’s about his personality then… even when he complains he still does his job properly.

Sorry, but that’s just... yeah. You have to hear it though. Full transcript and audio here.

[simplyotometrash]

Smile for Me

A Kiro x Alex (OC) piece! 

Days dragged on and weighed on his body. He didn’t hate touring. In fact it was the opposite. He loved going on tours, meeting fans, performing onstage. All of those things were great. Superstar Kiro could act, sing, write and play music. He knew he was very handsome and cute. He loved games. He was an international sweetheart. The whole package. But none of the many things that he was, none of his millions of fans, could fill the hole left by the lack of his partner. 

He missed Alex so much! Awkward, adorable, agoraphobic Alex. His little video game designer! They were so talented and no one even knew it because they didn’t reveal themselves as the creator of ALeeGames online. He loved when he would hear people talk about their games or see threads online discussing how cool the designer for the games must be. Oh if only they knew! His little storm cloud would be so embarrassed if they knew some of the things being said. Alas, Alex tended to avoid threads about them. They only looked at threads regarding their games to gain input and insights on what they could do better or what people wanted to see. They even had separate social media specifically for their game handle.

As if on cue, his phone buzzed in his pocket. A video chat request from Alex! Ah! They had to be connected if Alex was calling while he thought of them! 

“Hey, cutie pie~!” Kiro beamed at his phone. Oh the sight of Alex made his heart dance. “I see you redyed your hair. Sticking to green for now?”

“Hiya, sunshine,” Alex laughed, blowing the camera a kiss. He heard a meow in the background come from Alex’s cat-son and his adopted cat-son, Kimchi. “Yeah, I thought I’d stick to green for now. I wanna try blue or purple but I just don’t know if I’ve got the guts to change it up.”

If only they had all the time in the world to talk. Kiro was in his dressing room before a concert. He didn’t have nearly enough time. No amount of time was truly enough to make up for the longing that long distance stirred within his heart. He couldn’t wait to be home with them.

“You would look good with any color, my little storm cloud. Wait until I come home! Then I can help you pick.”

“Ten minutes before go, Kiro,” he heard Savin say through the dressing room door. Plenty of time to get in some much needed Alex time. 

“I hate time zones,” he whined. “I can never sing you to sleep anymore because I’m so busy when it’s night for you.”

Alex laughed, shaking their head. Kimchi the cat came into frame, rubbing his head against Alex’s face. “I know, babe. I miss it, too. But you’ve got meet and greets and CD signings during the day on your tour. And you need to take naps before concerts. I’m just glad we find the time to call each other.”

The time differences sucked. He was so far away. Sometimes he would wake up at 3 in the morning because he heard his phone go off with a good morning text from Alex followed by an apology because they forgot what time it was for him. It only got worse the more he traveled. There were days he couldn’t even remember what time it was because the times changed from place to place. Further proof that time was just a human construct! A construct meant to keep him from his love!

“I will always find time for you! I even squeeze in checking both your personal and work social media accounts! I can’t wait to come home. I can beta test your new game for you, right? Right!?” Alex was almost always had to be their own beta tester. They were a perfectionist and didn’t want anyone to see something that was less than their idea of perfect.

“If my game isn’t finished before you come back, I’ll consider letting you beta test,” they said. There was a brief pause between them. “I...I did design the main character after you.”

Tears of joy pricked at the idol’s eyes. But he couldn’t let them fall! He had to go onstage and crying would stuff up his nose! “Alex, that’s so sweet! I’ve always wanted to be a video game character!”

There was another, much longer pause. Kiro knew the wheels in Alex’s head were turning. They had that look in their eyes. The little hamster in their brain was doing laps. Something was on their mind.

“I miss you so much.” Alex looked a bit downcast. They both knew he still had three months before they could be together again. Three long months.

“Hey, hey, no frowns! Your Superhero Kiro wants to see his storm cloud looking happy! If you smile, I know I’ll have a great concert!” Kiro made a little heart out of his thumb and forefinger, a bright smile on his own face.

Alex couldn’t help but laugh and smile back at their sunshine. He was always so supportive and bright. Like the sun. Alex was more like the moon, reflecting the light of the sun. 

“Five minutes, Kiro,” Savin popped his head into the dressing room. He got a look at the star’s phone screen and shook his head with a smile. “I’ll take care of him, Alex, he’ll be home before you know it.” He closed the door as he left. Savin was strict on Kiro’s routine but he was very caring. Like a father.

“I hate that we’ve gotta end the call but I need to get to my place to go onstage.” He pouted.

“Kiro, wait!”

His thumb hovered over the “end call” button, his head now cocked to the side. “What is it, Alex?”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“Call me when you get done if you’re not too tired?” Alex sounded hopeful. Though they knew it may be a long shot. Kiro needed his rest after all. They couldn’t be selfish and keep him awake.

“I will, I promise. I wanna fall asleep with you being the last thing I see.”

Thanks for reading!!!

[chilly-me-softly]

Birthday Boy • Ben Chilwell

It’s Ben’s birthday, I’m excited like it’s mine don’t ask me why, so I couldn't not write something, could I? x

You text Ben back with a little face sending hearts and, having a few hours for you, you decide to start preparing everything.

Hiding the fact you had to leave to avoid ruining the surprise to the birthday boy had been hard the last few days, you were eager to start carrying on with work and he complained because he couldn't spend his birthday with his family.

That's why you had made a list with the most important things to not forget on the notes on your phone, so now you would have done it sooner. Or so you thought.

"Mommy, it's daddy's birthday now?" your baby is hesitating to join you while he rubs his eyes still sleepy, the kids' stuff almost got fixed now it's your turn.

"No silly boy" you giggle as you pick him up and lay him on your bed. "But you said it would be when I woke up" he replies pouting a little.

And you smile, folding a small T-shirt and carefully putting it in the suitcase before giving him an answer, "After bed time, not a nap" you put your finger on his nose and he complains.

"Go get your present for daddy so we can pack it in the suitcase" and the child regains his smile by running to his room.

-

"Mommy, is it Daddy's birthday now?" you hear a voice coming from your side of the bed and you sigh, you definitely wish you'd slept more. You stayed up until one a.m. on video chat with Ben, wanting at least some time alone with him to wish him happy birthday and chat quietly. And with the day ahead of you, you didn't realize that a super-excited three-year-old boy would wake you up, as if it was Christmas day.

"Mommy!" he shakes you up, and you reach out and start touching his face.

His laughter echoes across the room, automatically forming a smile on your face, "What are you doing?"

"There's got to be a way to turn off a beautiful baby"

"No, there isn't" he says smartass, while other little screams catch your attention. "Oh hi, how'd you get out of the crib uh?" you coo, sitting on the bed, to the little girl who's trying to find a way to get up, but it's still a little early for her to do it.

"I got her" the boy says as he goes to help her, and you think you'll never get used to seeing the two interact like that.

"Okay, but don't ever do that again if your father and I aren't in the room, okay?" you warn him as you pick the baby up to put her on the bed and your boy nods climbing alone.

"Can we call daddy now?"

-

"Okay, Alex did you get everything?" you check with the kid again after you load the suitcase into the car. Leicester was having an away game

right at Ben's birthday this year, which is why you couldn't spend it together. Since you've been with Ben, it has often happened that because of the various schedules, you celebrate some important dates in advance or a few days late. In the early days you even followed him wherever he was to spend at least some hours together. But since the kids were there your needs had changed, you certainly couldn't move as freely as before. And you were quite comprehensive about it, the time you spent together was always very important, but the children were disappointed. Alex above all, Gemma was still too young to understand what was happening around her.

And so you just thought you'd catch up with him and spend an ordinary day for you, at a different stadium. The boy had been so excited about it that it hadn't been difficult to make him keep it a secret during those days, wanting at all costs not to spoil the surprise and make his daddy happy. He had been such a good actor, wishing Ben an happy birthday and asking him when he would be back that morning, that you almost worried about when he would grow up.

"Yes" he answered, almost bouncing around, looking forward to getting in the car. You hope he'll collapse during the trip, if only because he woke up so early.

Gemma is asleep when you put her in the car, and you plan she should continue to do so for most of the trip having just eaten.

"So, do you remember what your job is?" you ask and he nods while you're adjusting his seatbelt. "Keep Gems company if she wakes up"

"Good boy" and so after you get in the driver's seat, you finally set off on your adventure.

-

"Daddy!" exclaims the baby as soon as Ben's face appears on the phone screen.

"Oi! Did you steal your mum's phone again?" Ben laughs as he sees only part of his son's face because of the way he holds it.

"Only borrowed" you can hear some laughter in the background, probably he must be with the rest of the team.

"Alex take the phone away from you face so daddy can see you" you suggest looking in the rear-view mirror.

"Better?" the boy asks his father, and his eyes glow when he answers positively and says he's a good boy. He's always been a daddy's boy, even though he spent far too much time with you during the day as soon as Ben walked through the door or for some reason had a day off, there was only him.

"Hey, where are you guys going?" it's impossible not to notice the Leicester hat with the big ball on top, which Alex always uses when he has to go out.

"Mum's taking us to the park, look she's there and here's Gems" the boy turns the phone around in his own way, first framing you who's driving and then the little girl by his side who's still sleeping.

Ben smiles, even though the images were very rough and blurry. "Ooh I see. You have fun without me"

"Don't cry daddy, when you come back we'll go again" he replies shrugging while more laughter rumbles in the room and you can clearly hear James's voice saying he loves that boy.

They stay talking for a few more minutes until Ben has to go and so he hangs up. The nearly three hours journey is almost over luckily when the boy starts to get tired of sitting still, nothing to do and not being able to sleep.

And when you park the car, it's almost lunchtime, so with Gemma just awake in the carrier on your back and keeping Alex in sight, you settle into the hotel room booked for that night.

You had Brendan's help to arrange everything, well more like you asked his permission. You never wanted to get in the way when Ben was there for work after all. But the boss had made himself available to surprise one of his boys and agreed with you on the best time to introduce you. Lunch time seemed like a great idea, but you didn't give him a specific time. With two children in charge, it wasn't easy to plan things down to the smallest detail, always an unknown what might happen.

And in fact, after feeding the kids you had to change Gemma while Alex was more and more anxious to go see his father. And you had to keep an eye on him crouched in front of the door, being afraid he might run away at any moment, while you were trying not to make the baby girl cry in front of you, who didn't want to change at all.

"Okay, all done. Take the gift, we're going to daddy"

-

The signal to enter is the happy birthday song, Brendan had left the room pretending a phone call to check if you had arrived. After greeting him and thanking him again, you take the cake in your hands while he picks up the little girl, who happily allows herself to be picked up without any problem and everyone start singing.

Alex waits for nothing else, spurred into his father's arms, who picks him up still shocked. Squeezing him in his arms as he looks at you and you shrug after placing the cake on the table.

He comes to hug you leaving his son with James, eager to hold you in his arms and finally kiss you. "What are you doing here?"

"Well it's not like us to spend our birthdays apart and the kids were so sad" your arms go around his neck while his arms go around your waist.

"The kids eh?" he rolls his eyes jokingly as you shrug again.

"Damn I love you" and he doesn't give you time to answer that his lips are already on yours.

It's time to pamper the little princess, too. Better get her off Brendan's arms before she rips his nose off. Gemma laughs and babbles incomprehensible things while Ben plays with her, pretending to eat her hand or filling her with kisses.

And Alex comes running back to his father, his backpack swinging for the ride. "Daddy your gift!" in a moment he squats at his father's feet to rummage through the backpack and pull it out.

Smiling, he waits for it to open, while you make him sit on the table so Ben can sit down and open everything calmly and easily. 'HapPy BdaY DaddY' appears under his eyes in a card, both his children's hands painted under the inscription. And his eyes get wet, since he had the children he has discovered a new side of himself. Always so emotional and with a heart full of joy, as if it could burst at any moment.

"I told you he'd cry" you muttered to the baby when you saw Ben's reaction and he giggles as Alex leans over to hug him.

"I love you" whispered in his ear and his bright eyes came to you for a moment.

And in the evening, when you return to the room with an extra member, the children are immediately put on the bed because exhausted by the day they have fallen asleep forcing you to carry them up.

Leave a kiss on both their foreheads as always and while you take a moment to watch them sleep peacefully, Ben points you to the bathroom with his head. You follow him confused, "What-" but he draws you to him by kissing you and leaning against the sink.

"I love you. Thank you for all this" he leaves you another kiss and you stay there for a few minutes enjoying the silence until you can no longer hold a yawn and Ben takes you to bed.

He watches you sleep, you're clearly exhausted from the day too, falling asleep as soon as you put your head on the pillow. And with your children between you -Alex with one arm on Gemma's body to protect her- his name on the back of all your shirts, he thinks that maybe the ring waiting for you under the tree at home isn't even half of what you deserve.

[jj-lynn21]

THE BAKE-OFF Bill & x-reader

Warnings: virus talk, Swedish (hopefully translated correctly) smutty: teasing, orgasm denial, crop play, talk of male masturbation, outdoor sex.

ch 2

You lounge by the pool sunshine warming your body but the slight breeze making sure you don’t feel too hot. Bill has been working in his office on a script idea he had thought about years ago. Now being at home since the virus closed down filming of all his acting projects, he feels it’s a great time to work on this. You are of course supportive of anything he does, so leaving him alone to work four to six hours a day isn’t a big deal.

You are kind of relishing a bit of alone time anyway. He had done three projects back to back and you barely saw him for six months. A weekend, maybe a week, once for almost two weeks. You were starving for each other when he thankfully made it home from Ireland just before they closed the boarder where you lived. You both broke down in tears when he finally made it home.

The first two weeks you made the most of the time together. Things you discussed on facetime were brought to life. He couldn’t wait to restrain you with his favorite ties. He teased you for a day and a half. Brought you to just the edge of your orgasm before stopping. Telling you, you didn’t dare cum without his permission. If you did, he warned he might not touch you for a week and you would just have to watch as he pleased himself like he was still at work.

Then once he did let you have the orgasm you begged him for, and yeah it got almost so unbearable you were ready to use your safe word, he gave you several. Barely letting your body rest before you were over the edge again. He was such a master of your body and mind.

He had no problem when you came downstairs in a black leather bustier with a skirt on your hips. A crop held in your hand. A sinister grin on your lips.

Bill licked his lips as he looked at you, “And what are you thinking of doing with that crop, Mistress?”

“That depends on you, Bill.” You smacked it against your hand making it crack. You loved the sound and the fact it made him jump a little. “Are you a good boy or a bad boy?”

His eyes zoning in on yours, “I’m a bad boy, Mistress. A very bad boy that needs nothing but punishment from you.”

You walked over to him. Lifted his chin with the crop, “be careful what you are trying to get is actually what you want.”

“Oh, I don’t want it,” Bill noted. “I deserve it Mistress. I’ve masturbated maybe three times or more without waking you so we could enjoy cumming together. I know how you hate for me to get off without you when I’m home.”

You sting his left thigh with the crop. “You better fucking never do that again.” You sting his right thigh. “I don’t care what time of my sleep cycle it is young man, you do not do anything alone at home. Even if I just watch. I should always be involved. Do you understand?” She stings the inside of upper right thigh.”

“Yes, Mistress.” he assures you, “It’s won’t happen again.”

You slap his bulge with the crop, not nearly as hard as you did his thighs but enough to make him jump up.

“FUCK,” he screams. “Sorry, Mistress.”

You smirk, “You will be. Cloths off.”

“Yes, Mistress.” He removed his cloths.

You run the crop down his naked body. You pay close attention to his shaft as it twitches when the cool leather moves over it. You lift the crop bring it up high. You start to bring it down on his cock.

“You won’t…” His eyes wide as you stop at the last second. “Fuck.” His cock spring up in relief you didn’t actually hit it, excitement that he thought you could have. His heart races.

“Come up stairs Bill,” You start to walk away with a big grin on your face. When you get up stairs I’ll decide if you will eventually take care of that hard on or I’ll ride you until you can’t breathe.”

“Yes, Mistress,” He followed obediently.

You opted for the ride. Smacked his chest with the crop as you did until he went hard enough for you. And Bill purposely started slow, barely moving to satisfy you just so he was punished more.

But you had also purposely annoyed him during that first two week to earn some punishment. Spankings so hard your ass had his handprint. It was glorious pleasure, pain and fear when he went all out choking you right before you both came.

By week three of your couple’s quarantine neither of you wanted to get out of bed. You just snuggled. You took turns making each other breakfast, lunch and dinner you could eat in bed. You were both very happy and satisfied.

As you snuggled one evening Bill told you all about the script he wanted to write and hopefully get made into a movie.  He talked to jake Gyllenhaal about possibly producing and also Joe and  Anthony Russo. He discussed it with his brother Alex but having his family help him make it just seemed wrong. Alex would be a last resort if no one else would.

By week four Bill had set up a work schedule for himself. He felt good getting back to something work related. Not that he didn’t enjoy every minute he got to spend with you now, but he missed creating a character. He loves acting and creating with such passion he needed it in his life. And you completely understood that.

The book you were reading before you dozed laid on your chest. Your thumb holding your spot. The rest of your fingers rest on the spine. Your other hand draped over the edge of the lounger still lightly holding the glass with just a sip of red wine left in it. You feel his lips first on your cheeks. Then his lips to yours.

Without opening your eyes, you reach for him dumping the wine glass. The little that was left just swishes in the side. You feel the heat from his body on yours. The book falling on the ground as he pushed it out of the way.

 Bill is dressed professionally incase he facetimes with associates about projects. White button up and grey slacks that feel rough against the bare parts of your skin since you are in his favorite bathing suit.

“Not sure this lounger was made to hold us both, Princess.” He murmured near your ear. His hips grind into yours.

“Then we break it,” you muttered. Your pelvis moves up to connect with him again.

Bill reaches to take the bottoms of your swimsuit off. That is why he likes this suit the most. It covers enough to make you comfortable, yet it is two pieces for him to easily get off you when he wants. Then he undid his pants pulling them down just enough so he could move to satisfy his hunger.

Your legs hung over each side of the lounger. Toes able to touch the ground. Arms wraps under his hold his back tightly as he penetrated you. You had such a perfect rhythm together. You whimpered under his power. Bill breathed heavier with every thrust.

Because you have high stone walls around the property and a covering that allows the sun to shine through brightly but deflects photo shutters or video by planes that used to fly over constantly, you are safe to do whatever you want. Planes do still fly over from time to time but since they can’t take pictures that end up in some magazine or online porn hub you both are fine with them watching on occasion.

His thrusts got deeper. You moaned out louder. Breathing heavily as the pleasure built up. Bill was practically growling as your walls tightened around him.  He has you right on the edge when he lets his seed spray… “fff FUCK” his eyes roll in his head.

“Oh, oh YES,” You cry out as your orgasm hits.

The lounger breaks. You both laughed.

“I guess you were right, Bill.” You moved a sweaty curl of hair off his face. “Sorry.”

“mmm huh,” He murmured looking into your eyes happily. “I can order another one. Maybe one that will hold us next time.” He kisses your lips before getting up to put his pants back on all the way. “I think we need a treat today.”

“That wasn’t a treat?” you giggled.

He chuckled, “Yeah, that’s always a treat, Princess. But what I mean is some homemade sweetness.”

“Oh, I could bake you some apple pie tarts or chocolate chip cookies?” You suggested.

“Jag borde baka kanelbullar, vaniljhjärtor till din prinsessa,” he rattled off in his native tongue.

You just stared up at him. Your bottoms back on. You might just need to attack him again if he kept speaking Swedish. You picked up a little Swedish from being around him and his family for holidays, so you knew he wanted to bake something Swedish.

“Alright Skarsgard,” You purposely pronounce his name very American. “Bake off is on. You make whatever it is you suggested. And I make some American standards you will die to taste more of.”

“That’s Skarsgård,” He shakes his head. “Its on and it will be you who is dying to taste more.” 

[marvelmadam08]

Baby Blues 5/?

Summary: The lack of sleep makes Alex very irritable and paranoid.

Warnings: Swearing (at mom), jealousy, FOMO?

A/N: The first weekend I have off and I spent Saturday getting my hair done (6 hours), and today speed typing/editing and debating how to spell karaoke and supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. 

~~~~~~

4 Weeks Old

Today wasn’t a good day. Dodger played around in the mud during his morning walk and before Alex could give him a bath, Renee accidentally left the back door opened. They managed to catch him before he got too far, but the carpet in the hall was beyond a scrub brush and seltzer water. Ace refused to go down for his nap, and he was irritable and fussy, which triggered Alex’s migraine.

“Alex, I’m telling you- just let him cry it out.” Renee watched her daughter pace back and forth, bouncing Ace in her arms

“I can’t just let him cry Ma, I have to try and soothe him.” Alex groaned “I’m gonna try to swaddle him.”

"Try the colic hold again." 

“I’m not doing the colic hold again, he nearly fell out of my arms the last time.”

Alex trudged in the direction of the nursery, her mother followed. Dodger came from his hiding spot in the kitchen and claimed his spot on the couch once they left. 

“He did not, he was trying to support his head on his own.” Renee looked closely at her grandson while Alex swaddled him “Your brother’s head was kinda large for his body at first too.”

“There’s nothing wrong with his head, Ma.” Alex laid Ace down in his crib, his cries changing to loud whimpers “He doesn’t like this.”

“Because you never put him down.” Renee gently tugged at Alex’s sleeve “But now he can try to go down for his nap- alone.”

“Ma, I can’t just ignore him.”

Alex caught the small quiver in Ace’s lip before she was pulled from the room and his crying started again.

“I know this hurts right now-”

“Yeah no shit.” Alex snapped before covering her mouth with her hand “I didn’t mean- I’m sorry, you’re only trying to help me.”

Renee pats Alex’s shoulder “I’m not gonna say it’s okay, but I will tell you that I know what you’re going through. This is just a technique, it doesn’t work for all babies or moms, but you won’t know if you don’t try.”

Alex softly nods, apologizing to her mother once more.

“I’m gonna go make some tea, you need a nap too.” Renee states obviously “Go lay down.”

She kissed her teeth “I don’t wanna-”

“Alexandria.”

“I’m going.” Alex huffed out, dragging herself to her and Chris’s bedroom

Ace could still be heard crying, but Alex resisted her dying urge to run and pick him up. She could feel her confidence slipping away from her with each passing second. What if he never stops crying? Could he be hurt and she just wasn’t paying close enough attention to him? Is her mother gonna come back with a switch for swearing at her?

The only thing that made her feel worse was having Chris away for another week. This time he’d be in L.A., working on another project of his. Meanwhile Alex hadn’t sat down to write anything since Ace was born, she never had the time anymore. 

“A little rough morning but we’re working on it.” Renee’s voice came closer “How’s Mexico?”

Chris’s voice started to come in over the phone. “It’s hot, I never did like working in extreme heat. But it’s feasible.”

“Well you don’t have to wear head to toe uniform either, so that’s a plus. You left your phone in the living room.” Renee handed Alex her phone before leaving again 

“Hey.”

“Hey,” Chris examined Alex’s surroundings “Where’s Ace?”

“I put him down for his nap.” Alex sighed deeply. “I’m- trying the self-soothing method.”

“Any luck?”

“No, because he’s still crying.” she said a bit more intensely than intended “I honestly don’t know what it is. I’ve feed him, burped him, changed him, and he just won’t-” Alex spotted someone, a woman, behind Chris “Who’s that?”

Chris looked around “Oh, Michelle is here if you wanna say hi.”

Alex didn’t truly get the chance to answer until the phone was handed over to Chris’s co-star Michelle. She was all smiles, the sun giving her skin a fresh glow, and her bikini showing off her petite figure. Alex met Michelle once before during a reading of the script, Alex being a writing consultant for the show at the time. They got along well, Chris making a joke about his two wives being good friends.

“Hi Alex, congratulations. Chris has been showing me pictures of the baby. He’s beautiful.” Michelle spoke cheerfully

“Oh thank you. Hope my husband isn’t giving you as hard of a time.”

Michelle laughed “No, he’s an absolute joy. And such a good singer, we all went to karaoke last night and it was so much fun. I wish you could’ve been there.”

“We gotta do it again with the whole cast though. Jaeden couldn’t come to the bar with us and he really wanted to go.” Chris spoke 

“Anyways, we’re getting ready to start so I’ll give you back to Chris.”

Chris, now hiding under a beach umbrella, smiled “Al, I swear we gotta come here for vacation, the beaches are amazing. I guarantee you’ll love it.”

“Not if Ace keeps me up all night.” Alex paused and turned her attention to the baby monitor sitting on the nightstand

“Well we could get someone to watch him, and then I can keep you up all night.” Chris joke went unheard “Al?”

“Huh? Oh yeah, sounds fun.”

“I love your enthusiasm.” He looked off to the side “Okay, Al, I gotta go. I love you.”

“Love you too.” Alex blew a kiss to the screen before ending the video call

She tiptoed out the room, returning back to the nursery again. Peeking in, Alex watched Ace sleep, the small little snores were music to Alex’s ears. 

“I normally don’t like to say I told you so.” Renee whispered. She handed Alex the hot cup of tea

“Since when?” 

“How’s Chris doing?”

“He’s having a great time in Mexico.” Alex frowned behind her mug “On the beach, going to karaoke bars, surrounded by beautiful women in skimpy bikinis.”

“Don’t do that, Chris would never even look at another woman.”

“I know, I just- I don’t know, I guess I’m just feeling left out?”

“He’s not doing it deliberately, you know that right?”

Alex nods “Yeah, it’s work and he’s allowed to have a bit of fun.”

“So are you.” Renee quickly adds “Now, what does my baby want to do for fun?”

“I wanna take a shower and a nap.”

Renee kissed Alex’s cheek “Go, if he wakes up I’ll look after him.”

“Thank you Momma.”

“Anytime.”

[insporaelynn]

📲 raelynn && roman

WHEN: january 24-26th 

DESCRIPTION: just best friends talking and being obsessed with each other. rae confides in him about her ex drama.

TRIGGER WARNINGS: drug mention, probably sex mention.

@romanbeckett​

Roman

Hi love of my life. I miss your face. How’s it going??

raelynn

my baby

god, i miss you too. i'm doing okay, how're you tonight?

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

it’s been an off day, not even gonna lie lol super sore and tired. I just wanna be back to normal already

raelynn

oh no

how's your scar healing up? the boys are taking care of you right??

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

it’s okay I guess bleh lol and not tonight. I’m all alone

raelynn

Where's Q? Is Aaron working?

Well I guess I should know that since I'm literally at work. Lmao.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

Q is working on music. Aaron has des tonight

raelynn

ugh. i wanna lay with you and kiss ur face.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

are you busyyy? I can burn us some cookies

raelynn

i'm working but I'd love to see you after if you're still up.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

of yeah you just said you’re at work lmao fucking weed

yes please come by when you’re done

raelynn

LMAO I KNOW THE FEELING

absolutely, i'm yours.

u know niamh was trying to figure out who rue's date was and she was like "is it you" bc i mentioned that I have a dick appt with him tomorrow night.

and i was like. dude, no, for like, a thousand reasons. like, why would that ever be me???

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚n.

oh god, I’m so out of the loop with gossip lately, it’s sad. I didn’t even know he had a date lol

raelynn

it's apparently some big secret but he's having people help him dress up and asking about flowers and candy and niamh is like "bitch is it you" and i'm like. LMAO.

like is there anything about me that says flowers and candy

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

Hahahahahhahahahahaha HAHAHA

that really made me laugh too hard.

raelynn

like, i'm not the flowers girl, i'm the sneak out in the night girl, the middle of the afternoon girl, all those things, but flowers girl???? sdkfdskksd

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

I’m 100p a flowers girl

raelynn

YOU ARE AND YOU'RE WORTH IT MY BABY

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

my parents are coming in to town this week. Gotta tell them I have two boyfriends haaaa. Pray for me

raelynn.

I feel like that should be the least shocking thing about you??? In a good way.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

yeah, I definitely keep them on their toes

raelynn

tell ur boyfriend that if he wants me to continue wearing body glitter he's going to have to pay me extra

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

omg but I love body glitter fyi

raelynn

I did an onlyfans video with Lilah earlier and I'm like 80% sure that I left glitter on her sheets. Like I'm a fucking unicorn.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

that makes me so happy I can’t even lie

I too wanna leave glitter everywhere

man I need to do only fans

raelynn

i would a thousand percent subscribe

both bc i'm a perv and also bc i'm a very supportive best friend.

we could get naked and do a body glitter photoshoot

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

and I love this about you

that sounds like a dream?? Wow

raelynn

would love nothing more than to apply body glitter to ur glorious tiddies.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

my tillies would appreciate it

Hahahaa it hurts to laughhhh

raelynn

SORRY SORRY I'M GOING TO BE VERY SERIOUS NOW

clears throat Um. The National Debt.

it is my understanding that there is. National Debt.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

hahahah I love you

raelynn

Blah blah, topics. Blah blah, smart people jargon, blah blah

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

god it’s so boring isn’t it

would so much rather talk about titties

raelynn

God same.

Like how yours are somehow bigger than mine.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

I know, I need some sort of support at this point I think

raelynn

we could get you fitted for bras somewhere maybe that'd be fun

it'd look actually so hot

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

well I already wear lingerie in the bedroom. Might as well.

raelynn

you will be the absolute death of me, you're simply too gorgeous and too sweet to exist.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

stahhpppp you’re making me blushhhh. Right back atcha my babe

raelynn

is there anything you want me to bring you when i'm done here?

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

just yourself. I’ve got good ass weed

raelynn

and for the millionth time, i realized, you are my soul mate.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

you’re mine, lovie.

raelynn

i wish i could've had appendix surgery instead of you

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

noooo don’t be silly lol I’m okay darling.

raelynn.

no i hate that you were in pain even for like a second i hate it so much!!

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

stop it, I love you. You cutie. Oh god okay I’m gonna make us cookies.

raelynn

Dont burn the house down my beautiful twin flame

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

I always get cookie dough thinking I’ll do better next time. I still have that unearned confidence

raelynn.

Thats bc im always building you up and rightfully so

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

yes you do and I live for it. I also really love fresh cookies right out of the oven, I just want to make that happen

raelynn

I believe in you my little tropical starfish

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

raelynn

literally you

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

hehehehe ⭐️

raelynn

i don't think anybody's ever gonna love me more than you

and i think. i think maybe that's okay?

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

that’s not true. You’re gonna find someone who is gonna blow you away

raelynn

yeah but even if i did, would I even be able to love them without being scared of them?

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

yeah, I think so. I’ve had to overcome a lot of walls and fears myself that I never thought I could. The right person makes it easier.

raelynn

idk there are a lot of people i could've loved if i hadn't been so....this lmao

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

I think it’ll just take some time!

raelynn

you have so much faith in me.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

of course I do. I think you can do anything.

raelynn

i'm not really sure.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

you don’t have to be cause I ammmmm

raelynn

and you're the smartest person in the world

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

in the whole world?? Damn. I’m not near as rich as I should be then.

raelynn

how about I stay over with you tonight and we get some breakfast in the morning? I did really good on tips tonight.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

okay!! I’d love that

raelynn

good 'cause i don't get to spend nearly as much time with you as i wanna

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

I knowwww. We haven’t had a sleepover in so long

raelynn

you can cuddle up to me and i'll feed you cookies and kiss your hair

revolutionary. better than therapy.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

Yes!!!!

raelynn

loml

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

I finished the cookies baby and I didn’t burn them to a crisp

raelynn

you fucking legend

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

I’m pretty damn proud of myself not gonna lieeeee

[...]

raelynn

extremely sad that i couldn't stay at breakfast with you all day

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

same

now I’m bored

raelynn

i swear after i left you my day went down the tubes.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

oh no I’m sorry

who do I need to fight

raelynn

well carson is back.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

oh god, tell me more

raelynn

idk why he's back but wes gave him my number bc i guess when i told him to lose it he took it to heart which like good i wanted him to

but anyway i screamed at him in the chat

everyone called me a hypocrite bc i told ivy to stop being a bitch in the chat awhile back. which tbh i didn't remember even doing, i just be saying shit.

like alex opened his fuckin mouth and i'm like what dog do you have in this fight

oh and DELILAH is moving in with carson bc he's "like her brother!!!" never mind the fact that he cheated on me bc i guess friendship doesn't mean much anymore

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

wow that’s...messy. Wtf lilah though seriously

raelynn.

So then Carson texts me bc wes gave him my number and that felt like being??? Pushed back in time against my will

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

that’s not cool

raelynn

So yeah a lot of crying today

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

*chick with knife emoji*

me rn

raelynn

Cute but lethal

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

*img attachment* 

and not at all high...

raelynn.

you're so hot jesus christ.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

I love you.

raelynn.

love u more than life itself

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

*img attachment of a keychain that says PUSSY WAGON* 

this was recommended to me on Instagram and now I want it.

raelynn

LET'S GET THEM MATCHING.

EVEN THOUGH I DON'T HAVE A CAR

AND THEREFORE NO KEYS FOR SAID CAR

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

it would be perfect for my Volkswagen

raelynn.

omg and with me in it...it really WOULD be a pussy wagon......

big brain

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

hahahahah

raelynn

we should road trip soon

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

I would love that so much honestly

raelynn

where should we go?

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

Disney world!!

raelynn

will u propose to me there

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

wouldn’t that be romantic as heck

raelynn.

THE most romantic and also we'd maybe get free dessert

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

I never turn down anything free.

raelynn

me neither. not the taylor family way

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

hahaha I love you.

raelynn.

we'll start planning a summer trip, just us.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

yay yay yay yay!

raelynn.

i'm gonna wear a tiara the whole time.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.BOT01/25/2021

with Mickey ears?

raelynn.BOT01/25/2021

of course, i'm not a monster.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

hahahaa

[...]

raelynn

I hate dudes.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

they’re a mess aren’t they lol

raelynn

Had a temporary lapse in sanity and agreed to meet Carson for coffee lol and he canceled like 15 mins before we were supposed to meet for a probably fake meeting lmao its so typical but I fell for it

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

babe I’m so sorry

raelynn

Like im just so tired

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

how can I make it better

raelynn.

I don't know honestly and I wish I did.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

I love you.

raelynn

I love you.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

you’re my baby

raelynn

you're MY baby

[prep4goth]

I wrote a little thing about Alex "Trash Goblin" Torini based off a prompt I saw online. It's finished, though the ending is rushed and I'm bad at grammar so. I wasn't creative enough to come up with a title lmao

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Fandom: They're Watching (2016)

Characters: Alex Torini

Content Warning: swearing, light depictions of violence/gore, mentions of trauma

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Alex began the day similarly to how he’d start each and everyday for the past several months; heart thumping wildly and a cry dying in his throat. The details of the nightmare were unclear. As his heart rate declined, the fucked up imagery would fade into obscured whisps. He can’t remember the last time he woke up in the comfort of his bed. Every morning without fail, Alex came to face down on his couch. Fortunately, it was the largest piece of furniture he owned. He could easily stretch out without even bumping the other end. Sometimes having short legs wasn’t a complete curse. 

Alex, convinced that his bones were made up of 40% calcium and 60% lead, fought the urge to remain in his current position. He felt like a boulder sinking into his sofa. Rolling onto his back, something that should be elementary, required a tremendous amount of effort. His eyes focused on the ugly popcorn ceiling. There was a crack- water damage from his pissbags neighbors above him-  that ran from the furthest corner to the fan. The longer he concentrated, the wider the crack appeared. While he envisioned the crack splitting open and dumping gallons of water on his head, the rational part of Alex’s brain demanded that his body move. 

With an Earth shattering sigh, he dragged himself into a sitting position. Alex rubbed his sore eyes. He couldn’t massage away the dry heaviness that seemed to permanently settle behind his eyelids.  What time did he pass out last night? A glance at his still opened laptop and half empty coffee mug told him it had been an unplanned slumber. He’d probably intended to only rest his tired eyes for a moment and slipped into unconsciousness. Just as he had done the previous night. And the night before that. And so on and so forth. His couch had transformed into his office/bedroom/dining area. 

Alex’s left arm was stiff from being tucked under his skull; a makeshift pillow. The tips of his fingers buzzed. Though, whether or not it was from holding that particular position or the dog bite, Alex had no clue. He curled his fingers into a fist. He watched the muscles in his forearm tense. With a slight grimace, he noted the rippling of the angry, pink marks embedded into his skin. Alex dimly recalled the searing pain of canines sinking into his flesh. He remembered the clink of teeth against bone and the ungodly amount of blood. Alex flinched as if the memory had physically burned him. But no matter how violently he jerked his head, the gruesome images were still imprinted in his mind’s eye. Hand cramping, Alex slowly unfurled his fist. With his fingers fanning out, he shook his hand until the cramping dissipated. It made no difference what he did. Numbness spread from the pads of fingers to his wrist, but feeling would eventually creep back. It always did. 

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Alex mentally prepared himself for another day of pacing his cramped apartment, slowly deteriorating his vision via computer screen, and consuming unhealthy amounts of coffee. That last one, however, was only achievable by getting his ass off the couch. As sizable as the couch was, it was destroying his back. Alex braced his hands against his lower back as he hefted himself onto his feet. He twisted side to side, spine popping obscenely loud in the quiet apartment. 

Alex scooped up his phone from the coffee table, thumb pressing the home button. Though, the screen remained black. Well, fuck me. I forgot to charge this bitch. He realized with a weak chuckle. Not that he really cared that his phone died in the middle of the night. He hardly used it aside from emailing clients and mindless mobile games. Alex reflected on how he unintentionally severed ties with most if not all his friends while he plugged his phone in to charge. Occasionally, a film buddy would reach out, but responding to pointless texts was rather taxing. His friends had eventually gotten the memo. They figured he was pretty much useless. 

Once, Alex was convinced the flame of desire he had for creating would never flicker out. He was determined to make a name for himself in the film industry. Being a sound guy for some home improvement show made for middle aged and hobbieless parents was not the end goal, but a starting point. Fresh out of highschool and hardly scraping by, Alex thought it was an incredible gig to dip his feet in. The plan was to save up enough money to move out of his parent’s place and gain some behind-the-scenes experience. He’d graduate to bigger and better things; directing. Plans change and aspirations are grated into something more realistic. Alex had not minded flying from country to country, slinging a boom mike over his shoulder. The fact that his boss wasn’t pleasant, to say the least, or that he could only afford a shitty apartment with cracks in the foundation hardly phased him because at least he had Greg. That bastard was the only thing keeping Alex from jumping ship and enrolling in law school like Alex’s dad begged him to. Then they visited fucking Moldova. 

Moldova was a pair of bloodshot eyes that tracked his every move and reeked of smoke. Alex could feel its glare sorching his back every time the memories began to fade. The smoke burnt his lungs, choking him with shame if he ever attempted to forget it. Meeting the accusing eyes meant addressing the unbridled guilt eating away at his stomach whenever he so much as breathed. The weight of its scrutinous gaze left Alex wondering why he was the one left to poorly recite the witch’s tale. According to the witch possessing Becky, Alex was destined to capture the chaos that unfolded that night. Why him, out of every other person, she failed to clarify. 

The witch’s carnage was the last thing Alex filmed. Everytime he picked up a camera, his stomach churned. He feared he’d lift the camera to his face and see Becky’s warped grin on the other side. Wallace, unfortunately the only other person alive, had kindly kicked Alex to the curb. The footage would never see the light of day. People didn’t seem to question the show’s new host, or even Kate’s whereabouts. Greg and Sarah, nameless crew behind the cameras, hardly hurt Wallace’s pockets to replace with other nameless crew. That soulless, corporate prick didn’t even blink upon hearing that his own niece had met the business end of an axe. 

There was no hazard’s pay, not even after a 300 hundred pound man nearly strangled Alex to death. Alex needed to find another source of income to keep his lights on. So, he started editing other people’s work. The majority of his clientele were grown men screaming at video games and indie artists. Humorously enough, Alex favored editing the least. He was equipped with basics, but found it skull- splittingly tedious. It required sitting in one place for too long and extreme focus- something Alex had to shut his mouth for more than five minutes to accomplish. After watching his closest friends die horribly, however, Alex found it was much easier to be silent. A chatter box to a complete mute in months. Now, Alex slipped into the monotonous mechanics without complaint. The simple repetitiveness of splicing clips and adjusting audio levels allowed him to drift through the week without thought. It was slightly pathetic. He willingly chose to rot his brain on a day to day basis for the convenience of not having to think. 

Clearing his throat, Alex realized he’d been standing next to his charging phone for several minutes. He frequently caught himself falling down a rabbit hole of damaging thoughts. His forehead creased, fingers twitching against his phone. He ignored the throbbing pulse where the scar from the dog bite was. Powering his phone on, Alex didn’t expect anything exciting. Maybe an email asking for an update or a notification from one of his various games. He was unpleasantly caught off guard by the blinking ‘missed call’ icon. Upon further inspection, it was a missed call from Bernadette- an old friend Greg introduced Alex to. 

Apparently, Greg had played gigs at some dive bar frequently enough to earn some “street cred”as he often bragged about. Bernadette, when she wasn’t lugging camera equipment around archaic buildings, was bussing tables at that very same dive bar. With similar senses of humor,  which consisted of constantly taunting poor, outnumbered Greg, Alex and Bernadette were instant pals. They were too eerily similar for Alex to develop any feelings beyond platonic, despite Greg’s occasional teasing. Bernadette was the only person left in Alex’s life that was too damn stubborn to let go. Desperate for some form of human reaction, Alex craved reaching out. He tried almost daily. Alex had typed out several messages to Bernadette but erased every single one. Of all people, Bernadette deserved to know what happened; she was practically a sister to them. Except Alex had no clue how to tell her. Whether it was guilt or fear of her not believing him, his basic vocab always disintegrated. There were literally no words to express the dread and sorrow that hollowed out his chest. Better to not have a conversation period.

Tucked away in the dusty corner of Alex’s brain, was a locked chest of traumatic souvenirs. It was splitting at the seams, yet Alex continuously stapled the cracks closed. He ignored the splintering wood. Any day, the chest would finally collapse under the weight and Alex would be flooded with blood tinged memories. He concluded a conference with Bernadette over the phone would be the final straw that broke the camel’s back. Or, in this case, the very thing that protected Alex from the shitshow that was himself. Alex had spent months building that damn chest. He’d lost friends and proper vitamin D, but was still clinging onto a microscopic amount of sanity. He was alive at least. Breathing stuffy apartment air and with the diet of a broke college student, granted. But that was more than Greg and Sarah could say. 

His phone screen dimmed as he internally battled himself. He needed to talk to Bernadette, yes, but he was terrified. There was no danger in listening to his voicemail. Alex inhaled sharply as if he were about to be held under water as he tapped the message icon. He tucked the phone between his ear and shoulder. 

“What’s up, assclown! “ Bernadette’s recorded voice shouted into the receiver. Alex winced at her sharp volume, but chuckled regardless. 

“I know you’ve been avoiding me since you got back from where-ever-the-fuck, but that ends today. No more hiding out in that closet you call an apartment- time to get rolling, babbbby!” Alex shifted his weight from one foot to the other. Hearing her voice was a breath of fresh air. That feeling of lonely claustrophobia pressing on his chest faded slightly. Though, he was nervous for where this was heading. He pressed his lips into an anxious line.

“I don’t know what all went down over there, but it’s been months, man. You can’t keep this agoraphobe act up forever. That goes for that sonova bitch, Greg too.” Her laugh was soft, but still audible. Alex felt that familiar pang of guilt in the pit of his stomach. God, she thought Greg was alive and avoiding her. Throat tightening around a baseball sized lump, Alex pressed his knuckles against his mouth. His knuckles were flushed hard enough that his teeth dug into his lower lip. 

“Did you guys decide you’re bigshots now? Cause, newsflash- that’s utter bullshit.” Bernadette must have meant for her tone to sound teasing, but the hurt was evident in her voice

“I’ve left Greg a fuckton of messages, but he hasn’t even opened my texts. If I didn’t know better, I’d be worried. But regardless, I know you’re back from Europe, so no excuses. Remember that show I do, the fuckin, uh, ghost hunting crap? Well, we’re down a camera and I thought you’d might be interested. Last time we spoke- which was, like, a century ago- , you said you needed a job, so… Here ya go, bud. It’s better pay than whatever you’re probably doing right now. Even if you don’t need a job, the least you could do is call me and tell me yourself. Just so I at least know you’re still breathing.” There was a beat where Bernadette paused to inhale quietly. She was right, though. Their last conversation was brief and impersonal. He offered the simplest explationations; the shoot was canceled due to creative differences and Alex was out of a job. As for what he yarn he spun for Greg, Alex didn’t recall. Probably some bullshit timeline where Greg was backpacking through Europe. 

Bernadette wrapped up her message with a final jab at Alex’s lack of communication skills. In a poor attempt to center his roaring thoughts, Alex rested his phone against his forehead. The guilt that was slowly swirling in his gut developed into a full on Tsunami. For a moment, he wondered if it was possible to drown in it. Alex no longer had the option. Bernadette deserved the truth, no matter how painful. 

More than that, Alex needed to get the fuck out of this place. His apartment had lost its safe haven appeal and felt more like a cage closing in on him. Whether or not he was prepared to handle a camera again was a different story. He didn’t resent the aspect of working with people again either. At one point, Alex very nearly achieved his dreams. It was still camera work, but he was more than likely rusty from his months-long hiatus anyway. He would have stood in his living room all day if he tried to debate why he should or shouldn’t take the job. This meant, on the other hand, calling Bernadette back. And eventually, he’d have to tell her that Greg was dead. How the fuck was he supposed to do that? Alex had survived an encounter with an actual blood-hungry witch, but his heart shuddered at the thought of Bernadette labeling Alex a lying ass and cutting him off completely. 

Finally, Alex worked up the nerve to press the ‘call back’ option. His eyes stung with unshed tears as his heart nearly beat out of his ribcage. Alex tightly squeezed his eyes shut. The third ring droned obnoxiously loud and Alex silently hoped she wouldn’t pick up. But when did Alex ever get what he wanted? There was a soft click, followed by Bernadette exclaiming that Alex was a fucker. 

“Good to hear your voice too, Bernie.” He shot for humor, but the tremble in his voice betrayed his bravado. Bernadette either failed to notice or was feeling generous. 

Before she had the chance to strike up small talk, Alex launched into action. “Is that job offer still on the table?”

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