#but alas! such a nature accumulates The Guilt which stacks with The Paralysis.

[unironicallycringe]

Sometimes i think about TMM and get all Hearts Emoji about it, but other times i just feel embarrassed or ashamed. It's weird! I feel like my ability to be joyfully cringe and creative has eroded over time. It's a muscle that needs working out. Sharing my work has become emotionally taxing. I started out posting TMM really regularly, then after a couple incidents, I got slower and slower. Now, in posting Dear Brother, I just sort of show up every other month or two and drop a chapter and bail lmao. I talk to a few mutuals and then skip town. I think about how I used to do weekly / biweekly TMM updates and I'm like "who tf was that guy with so much naive energy" LOL

I think maybe when I continue posting TMM, I will have to be way more distant and quiet in the fandom space, as I am lately with DB. Much much love to all of my readers and thank you for your patience and interaction! It's just been such an unexpectedly-long hiatus, and I've been paralyzed on posting TMM for many, many different reasons.

(I know I show up like every 5 months and make a post musing aloud like this, just consider it a proof-of-life if you're not tuned into my TES stuff /lh)