#but again so many people take that literally and go around saying tails views sonic as his dad or whatever

[sonknuxadow]

people take the youre my mom and dad and picket fence line way too literally and it kind of annoys me... tails isnt saying that sonic is his dad hes saying that sonic is his family in general. plus they say sonic and tails are brothers like 500 times in that episode alone. are people just seeing that clip with no context and then never watching the rest of the episode or something

[sage-nebula]

I'm thinking about Knuckles, and how little we know of him, and how what little we know of him informs what we do know of him, and how that makes some of the writing around him (in various canon materials and adaptations) feel . . . kind of disrespectful, at times?

What we know of Knuckles' backstory is this: he is the last of the echidnas, and specifically a descendant of the Knuckles clan. The Knuckles clan was an empire under the rule of Chief Pachacamac, and when they tried to take the Master Emerald and Chaos Emeralds for the sake of their nation's power, Chaos went on a rampage and wiped most of them out. Pachacamac's daughter, Tikal, sealed Chaos into the Master Emerald along with her own spirit (sacrificing her body in the process), and those that remained enshrined the Master Emerald on a chunk of land that they hefted into the sky to become Angel Island. It's there that they vowed to protect the Master Emerald, but because there were so few of them already, now Knuckles himself is the only one who remains.

What we don't know is: how the remaining echidnas on Angel Island died out, and whether Knuckles' parents were around when he was born or not.

We don't know this, because echidnas hatch from eggs at least in real life, and we don't know that they don't in the Sonic universe. And we also don't know how long it would take for those eggs to hatch . . . essentially, we don't know if Knuckles was born alone on Angel Island, with only the little animals and the Chao there to keep him company. We don't know if perhaps he named himself Knuckles, after a clan he never knew, to try to feel some connection to his heritage. We do know that he doesn't know all there is to know about Angel Island, that he doesn't know the meanings behind a lot of the murals (which is how Eggman was able to trick him back when they first met), which would lead me to believe that if his parents were around, they weren't around for long enough to teach him about his culture or their sacred duty. That perhaps they weren't around long enough to give him a name of his own, rather than just taking the clan name.

All of this is to say, if Knuckles was born alone (or if his parents died when he was too young to remember them), and he's just had to piece together what little he knows about his people and his culture from what there is on his island . . .

. . . then it kind of makes moments in canon when Sonic or others pester him to leave the island or to stop taking it all so seriously feel kind of . . . insensitive at best.

Like, I do get it. Sonic himself doesn't care about his own past, he has no ties to any family (besides Tails) or culture, that's all fine for him. But it's clearly not fine for Knuckles, who very obviously wants that connection, especially if he's the one who named himself after his clan. And while I get it from a character standpoint for Sonic, part of me also feels like writers have validated Sonic's view in things like having Knuckles decide to go on a journey away from Angel Island after Frontiers, after his conversations with Sonic goaded him into it a little. Which again, as a writer I understand, because it's hard to do things with Knuckles if he never leaves Angel Island. You have to bring the plot to him, or else you can't include him. But at the same time, he's literally the last of his people. And the only connection he has to those people, those people who are lost and that he can never get back, are there on Angel Island, in ancient murals and ruins he's not sure he fully understands no matter how many years he spends studying them . . . I don't know, I just feel like some more understanding or compassion could be given to him for this. Like the way his eyes lit up in that IDW issue when Amy returned the echidna artifact to him -- that was something made by his people! That's a part of his history! He may not (probably doesn't) understand its significance, but now that's another lost connection that he has. And while Sonic might not care about things like that, Knuckles does. That's important to him, and that should be respected.

I don't know, that post about how Knuckles is not just a warrior (or, imo, a warrior at all, but a protector instead) has just had me thinking about him the past couple of days. I'm not saying that he should stay locked to Angel Island forever, I do think it does him good to socialize with his friends as well . . . but I also wish that the writing respected a bit more often the fact that he is the last of his kind, that the island and the ruins there and the Master Emerald are all he has left of it, the only way he has any connection to his culture at all. And honestly, much as I love Sonic, and as much as this is an E for Everyone series, I do think that, at times, Knuckles should get to tell Sonic to fuck off when Sonic starts going on one of his "don't be so stuck on your dusty old island" spiels he sometimes goes on. Because it's not really about the island, and Knuckles' feelings are just as valid as Sonic's. Perhaps even more so, on this topic.

But that's just what I've been thinking about.

[taffywabbit]

im also anti proship but calling rugrats porn drawings "child porn" really dilutes the severity of actual child porn. we shouldnt be confusing actual cp that hurts real children with just weirdos drawing porn of cartoon characters that happen to be kids, the two things are not at all on the same level

ok i suppose this was inevitable, i may as well get into it.

(CW for some discussion of CSA and child pornography, obviously)

first off, "i'm also anti proship but" is a terrifying way to start your message, and to go and follow it up with some extremely common proship copypasta i've heard a million times about "taking attention/resources/severity/etc away from real CSA victims" or whatever kinda makes me wonder how "anti proship" you actually are...?

kind of the point of this whole debate is typically that "proship" folks insist that fiction, or in this case "porn of cartoon characters that happen to be kids" as you put it, has no effect on reality or people's mindsets. and so-called "antis" like myself generally respond to this idea with something along the lines of "well it sure seems to affect the reality of your cock and balls", and point out how repeatedly consuming media with a particular focus or message has been shown time and time again to quantifiably influence the way people view the world around them, in ways that subsequently affect how they act, or desensitize them to things that might otherwise upset/offend them. y'know, like political propaganda! or blockbuster movies about killer sharks! obviously some people are going to be more resilient against that sort of influence when the real-world equivalent of "porn of cartoon characters that happen to be kids" is something so blatantly unacceptable, and nobody is really claiming that the impact of fictional CP is "on the same level" as its IRL counterpart.

but at the very least, most people who would be considered "anti proship" WILL tell you "hey, i'm not trying to say that you jerking it to twitter porn of Gwen Tennyson or Tails or whatever is LITERALLY THE SAME as committing CSA, but it's still really fucking concerning and creepy that the majority of your sexual fixations are all specifically cutesy vulnerable cartoon characters under the age of 12, many of whom also have canonical adult designs that you conveniently avoid in favor of sexualizing the ones that are barely old enough to learn long division. you should maybe do some introspection and figure out why that is and whether or not you're really comfortable with what it implies about you. personally i know I'M not comfortable with that shit and i'm not going to keep hanging around you unless you make some serious changes." except usually in my experience the conversation ends up being a lot shorter and ends in a block pretty quickly. like i'm not a psychologist and i don't keep a bunch of studies on hand to throw at you about how fictional CP is often a factor in grooming, but i DO have a brain and can pretty clearly see when someone is rationalizing behavior that will lead them to places i'm not willing to follow.

ANYWAYS to focus more specifically on the actual reason we're talking about this (which was, to be clear, a mobile ad Tumblr served me that depicted one of the dads from Rugrats having sex with his 3yo daughter): yes, actually, that shit IS illegal to create or distribute. it's not the SAME as literal photographs of real children, OBVIOUSLY, but it's still also extremely fucked up in its own right, and any reasonable person in your life would probably stop talking to you if you told them you got off to it.

don't believe me about the legality part? check this out:

so like, I GUESS you might get some legal leeway with cub furry art or sonic porn or stuff that isn't always obvious in how much it's intended to parallel real children? if you really care? but this ad was literally multiple illustrations of a human adult man having intercourse with a human toddler. it's pornography centered around openly fetishizing the sexual assault of a child by a parent. i fail to see how referring to that in shorthand as "child porn" is inaccurate in any way that matters.

and Tumblr is a US-based company, beholden to the laws shown above, so they are at least somewhat responsible when illustrated pedophilic incest porn gets shown to thousands of their mobile app users in an ad they got paid to display. THAT was the original point i was making in my post. but thank you for trying to derail it to interrogate my "anti proship" views or whatever, i have had multiple people send me fairly nasty asks about it in the past year and you finally caught me in a moment when i was already pissed enough about something else that i felt like going off about this stuff. sorry if you actually agreed with most of this and i came off as overly rude/harsh, but if that's the case then this response is for all the other anon asks and replies i've gotten too, i guess.

now we're all clear about where i stand and i hopefully don't need to talk about this again - it's kind of a fucking bummer to think about this stuff and i've been avoiding the subject intentionally. you are always welcome to just block me if you have a problem

[maxwell-grant]

i have been watching old (and sometimes new) gmod animations and i grew up watching enough ytps to know the general idea behind them, and i recently gained a sort of fascination for them. there's something special about them that i couldn't quite put into words, but i think you got it down perfectly in your post about grand guignol. basically, thanks a bunch for that.

Well thank you! And, yeah, I pretty much grew up watching GMOD and YTP constantly and even today I still come back to those a lot when I'm restless and taking a break from work, and I think there's genuinely a lot that can be learned or discussed from them as uniquely 21st Century art forms.

I've been rewatching a lot of Raxxo's content lately and I think it was his content in particular that kind of convinced me that the "GMOD/SFM - Grand Guignol" analogy wasn't nearly as much of deranged word salad as I assumed it was, because in all honestly, if you had to try and condense his videos into a genre or definition or something of the sort, what the hell else can you possibly call this that in any way comes close to describing what you experience?

Like, all of his videos are described as "GMOD animated in SFM", because SFM is usually associated with more straightforward dramatic content while GMOD has been cartoon madness from the start (and it's fascinating to watch just how tame even the early Rubberfruit videos are compared to the kind of stuff Eltorro64 or Dr Lalve are putting out), and Raxxo is the latter in the style of the former.

And his videos are not just a non-stop barrage of brain-breaking, because they have weirdly dramatic pauses, and moments of straightforward action, or simple sentence mixing, and there's continuity between his videos, and incredibly smooth and natural gestures following by the characters stretching and deforming like jello monsters on the next second as their screams warble to drown the soundtrack and then everything's back to normal, and then they start doing things that kinda even make some sense as a narrative, but you cannot even begin explaining properly why, and I've watched these so many times that I even kinda start to see what makes sense and what doesn't, even though literally no one other than Raxxo is ever going to guess why he made the choices he did, and god these jokes must have taken hours if not days to render, why does the scretching Soldier head saying "Sputnik!" shows up in everything he does, and oh did I mention he also makes up the soundtracks he uses himself and they don't match in the slightest most people's perception of his content?

And for the finale of the Soldier Dispenser saga he created maybe the most batshit collaborative animation effort on Youtube, which is about an hour's worth of 200 animators all creating their own little batshit mini-stories in reference to his own and, seriously, who the hell could have possibly predicted something like this existing back when computer game Team Fortress 2 was announced in 2007? Or when Youtube was created?

Who could have possibly predicted something like this existing at any point in human history? Where else could anyone possibly experience this much audiovisual chaos anywhere? I can't even bring myself to watch the video in full again, but that this exists at all, and that it's far from the only one of it's kind, and that Team Fortress 2 fan content has spiraled so hard past anything the creators could have possibly predicted that it has self-sustaining meme ecosystems (Remember when smexuals were a thing? Or the Freaks?), that it's still fucking going 15 years past the game's debut, is, it's kind of a lot, is what I'm saying.

Like, I'm speaking as someone who studies a lot of pop culture and combs through it's most obscure and weirdest recesses to find stuff to write about, I'm still just as baffled by how far these things have gotten as I was when experiencing it for the first time. And you can find a lot of stories like these digging through Youtube Poop and the specific styles of certain creators or certain developing memes for franchises that grow and grow and permutate.

Think about what has to have happened to make a video like iteachvader's What'll It Be? happen.

Long John Baldry, blues musician extraordinaire, voiced cartoon villain Dr Robotnik in a Sonic cartoon. Said Sonic cartoon and performance was lucky enough to survive through Youtube clips. People noticed one of said clips of his performance has him saying a word that sounds like penis in a funny way, so they start making jokes about it, and parodies, and then literally hundreds of parodies popularizing the concept as a source of comedy, some of which take the form of music. Said music is done by cutting, remixing and splicing audio from said performance over music beats, which can be a PAINSTAKINGLY LONG PROCESS as someone who's tried doing that several times now, all this to make something with "Poop" in it's name (which I guess isn't that different from pulp writers spending weeks and months breaking their fingers to put out a novel's worth of content every month, for newspapers and magazines that were literally going to be used as toilet paper later)

These parodies catch on a bit and die out for a bit, until iteachvader comes along, and he proceeds to build a career not just by making funny parodies of said cartoon, but also knocking out genuinely really, really good musical parodies, editing voice clips of said performance to make it sound like the villain's singing (and additionally, he also creates his own tunes, and he's shown that literally every sound he uses is taken from the show, which is just, absolutely mind-boggling effort). He's also created over the years a running joke of Tails being Dr Robotnik's son that people liked enough to ask for more, and then we come to the video above, which is a song about Dr Robotnik spoiling his son Tails asking him what he'll want, which is not at all in line with how the two characters are canonically. And said remixes would eventually get remixed even further, even with crossovers with other characters or musicians, and so forth.

And that is the story of how dozens of creators working separately, and with little intent other than goofing around, single-handedly revived a dead man's music career, as the voice of the fan reinterpretation of a animated adaptation of a videogame villain, popular to the billions if not dozens of billions of views over a decade in the making, on a broadcasting platform said man didn't even live to see being created.

I think sometimes we like to think of ourselves as advanced and jaded enough that nothing surprises us anymore, and if we went back in time and showed an iphone to our great-grandparents they'd start screaming in sheer confusion. And, maybe they would, yeah, but imagine if you were Long John Baldry at any point in his life, even after he finished recording his lines as Robotnik, and someone showed up to you and explained that all of this was going to happen to you, to your voice, to your performance. Imagine if you were one of Valve's lead developers working on Team Fortress 2 during the nine years it spent in development, and someone showed you Raxxo's work and Soldier's Dispenser Quest and just, everything that had happened to characters you hadn't even fully created yet.

I imagine Long John Baldry would have taken it well enough eventually, by all accounts he was a fun person who loved to try new things, and he was an openly gay British vocalist in the 1960s when it was literally illegal to be gay in Britain, so I imagine nothing could possibly rattle his cage that deep in the long run.

But can you honestly tell me you wouldn't freak out at least a little trying to understand just what exactly the future was showing you? Can you honestly tell me your cynicism and world-weariness would be worth anything in the face of all this knowledge about what the world was going to do with your creations and work?

Can you honestly tell me, just now, that you have any idea what the hell is your legacy or reputation as an artist, or even what your art is known for, going to look like in a decade or two from now? And that things aren't going to get weirder than they are now?

I find that fact both frightening and strangely assuring at points, and exciting above all.

[sonicfanj]

A little while back I made a comment in regard to Sonic’s character not being understood and pointed out that he has the potential to be a “selfish hero”. Not surprisingly I was asked about what I meant so I’m going to tray and explain.

Before beginning though, I should note that I view Sonic as an adventurer first, and not a hero like most of his fans do. This creates completely different expectations out of his character and results in me seeing things very differently from others. For example, I disagree with the notion that Sonic lives to stop Eggman. To me, it’s simply something that happens and we see so much of it because those are the stories of his adventures that we are shown most commonly (I think Eggman has only missed one game that Sonic has been in so that kind of says something).

So, for my explanation I am going to try to stick to as few examples as possible, but I get a little long winded so apologies in advance.

To begin, let’s look at Sonic’s motivation to be a hero. Well, simply put he has none. That may seem a little short-sighted, especially in light of Sonic’s heroics, but the thing is, Sonic does not present himself as wanting to be a hero. If you ask Yuji Naka, Sonic’s favorite thing to do is run, and his running is spoiled if he doesn’t get a full eight hours of sleep. If you consider this Sonic’s constant lazing around makes sense as he’s trying to put himself in a mood to enjoy what he loves best. But for as hard as it seems for Sonic to get a good night’s sleep, which supposedly also makes him irritable, he still loves to adventure. When describing Amy’s character Hoshino has stated that Sonic’s mind is always on the next adventure or challenge. This is important as it tells us that Sonic is not thinking about who to help next. He is thinking about himself. In other words, he is being selfish, or he adventures to enjoy himself and his running, not to help people like most of his fans believe.

Naturally this raises the question of why does Sonic help people. That is a very easy question to answer, but it also reflects a bit on Sonic’s nature and his selfishness some more. Out of the gate, we are told that Sonic has a strong sense of judgement and a big heart. And we know how compassionate Sonic is. In case anyone has forgotten, though he bashed the poor guy in the brain a few times over, Sonic calmed a raging God of Destruction and desired to console it so it could live in peace. It takes a big heart to do that and Sonic has it. But he is also said to have a short temper (though it is rarely demonstrated) and that he can’t stand injustice and dislikes tears. At this point I would hope that a clearer picture of Sonic’s selfishness as a hero is starting to become clear, but as I’m explaining my viewpoint I’ll continue.

Making what will feel like a sudden jump, Sonic helps people on his adventures because seeing or knowing that people are in trouble ruins his adventure for him. The moment he knows people are in trouble he can’t enjoy himself no matter how much sleep he got. His big heart and distaste for injustice spur him into action. He’s acting on his own emotions to bring himself back peace of mind. This is a horribly selfish thing to do, but we see him do it quite a fair bit, sometimes even putting himself before those he is aiming to help. Obviously, I need some examples to back these claims up, so I’ll go ahead and get started with Sonic CD.

Now, a lot of people do not know this, but Sonic did not go to Little Planet to save it. It kind of happens as it stands due again to Sonic’s short temper and reaction to things he dislikes and can’t stand. The whole reason he actually goes if I remember correctly is that he already knew the legends of it and wanted to both see it and see if he could actually time travel using his speed. When he arrived Eggman being there was a total shock to him, and seeing what the good doctor had wrought spurred him into action. In other words, he was there for himself, and saves Little Planet only because his moral compass and own feelings happen to align with what appears to be heroic. But roughly, Eggman ruined his plans and Sonic responded in kind. It’s almost petty his actions at Little Planet if not for how it is painted due to Eggman being the rather destructive villain. But CD is far from the only example.

In Sonic Adventure he gets involved because he is involved by Tails and Eggman. Stopping Chaos 0 is a matter of his evening run being ruined by the clash between Chaos and the Cops. He can’t leave the cops to be slaughtered and jumps in restoring his peace of mind. A selfish action. It isn’t much better with Tails either. With his peace of mind restored we next join Sonic chilling at the pool until Tails appears and ruins his nap. Though not Tails’ intentions, Sonic’s shrug tells us a great deal about how he feels about the situation before going off to make sure the fox is alright. If Tails came first he would not have delayed or even shrugged. He simply would have taken action. He also is later on disparaging of Knuckles, dismissive of Amy when she is trying to ask for help until he actually sees the danger, and gets wrapped up in the thrill of chasing Eggman rather than making sure Tails and Amy get away alright. Most of the game he puts himself first and displays irritation when he is needed to be heroic. It doesn’t really paint him as a hero. He isn’t much better in Sonic Adventure 2 either where he really drives home his preference for doing things his way. Then in Sonic Heroes he only gets involved because it seems like fun. Despite the danger, Sonic puts himself first. It isn’t until Shadow where Sonic is really painted as heroic straight up, but that game takes place through Shadow POV, and in relation to himself Shadow does see Sonic as rather heroic.

In 06 though Sonic goes right back to his selfishness. Yet another seemingly lost detail, even though it is repeated at the end of the game, Sonic goes to Soleanna to see the Sun Festival. It is literally his only reason for being there. If not for Eggman arriving he would have never interacted with Elise and would have been gone the next day. Yet Eggman attacks and Sonic gets involved. And seeing the mess that Elise is Sonic can’t have any peace of mind until she has some and shares a lot of his philosophies with her until she finally stops being mopey and has the strength and resolve to do what she needs to. Then, sure enough, even with the subtle hints that Sonic remembers what happened, he heads right on out once he knows everything is fine, including Elise. He made himself a big part of her life and then leaves because that is who he is and he can enjoy his running again knowing that everything is resolved.

When we get to Unleashed, we see a slightly different side to Sonic’s selfishness as he puts himself before his charge of the game; Chip. When Sonic meets Chip he blames himself for the latter’s memory loss and offers to help him restore it. Yet when he can’t resolve it and is informed of the larger mess at hand by Tails he heads right off to solve the problem. Now yes, he brings Chip along, but he has no basis on which to base Chip regaining his memories in his company. Yet he gladly exposes him to danger while thrill riding on his own adventure, where Chips memory coming back becomes insignificant to him. Chip simply becomes a friend on the adventure and Sonic mostly enjoys himself. Again he is being selfish.

Like 06 before it, Black Knight is a game where Sonic is heavily doing things his own way and for his own enjoyment. Most of that breaks later on when facing Merlina, a friend he has to save as much as her world, and of course the Knight Trials. The Knight Trials are one of the more interesting examples of Sonic’s selfish heroism as he has been tasked with saving the world but will not refuse the child in need. Worse, the Lady of Lake knew Sonic’s abilities when she put the time limit on him and the trials which would assure that Sonic would fail should he deviate at all. But Sonic has a big heart, and he hates tears, and here is this child crying due to the dragon. There is no way Sonic can have the peace of mind to focus on his quest to save the world while this child suffers and chooses the child over the world. Kind of funny that Amy gets chewed out by the fandom for this but Sonic clears his Knight Trials with flying colors for the same thing. But I digress. While it worked out for Sonic here, it could have been disastrous, but in his selfishness, he prioritized his feelings and went against what was requested of him. I may sound heartless here, but when faced with the choice of saving the few or the many most “heroes” seek a way to accomplish both, but Sonic chooses to satisfy his feelings instead. It is a selfish action on his part regardless of the outcome.

Beyond the games though you can also find Sonic being selfish in the OVA where talking him into going to Eggmanland is to stop Tails from worrying. He has no desire to go and outright refuses. It is only when someone he cares about is expressing genuine concern that Sonic is prompted to act. Even then he is visibly irritated by the whole affair the entire time. He had to go against what he desired to do, and it frankly agitates him, which implies a very selfish nature. When he does agree, it is to address something which does bother him, which is anything but heroic.

So, I’ll admit that some of my readings may seem excessively extrapolative, but as I addressed at the beginning of this explanation, I look at Sonic in a different light than most and this paints my view of his character. That Sonic’s selfishness is never really called into question tells me that most people at SEGA also don’t understand it, or as Sonic is supposed to represent everything cool about SEGA it highlighting a negative trait would be seen as unfavorable to say the least. Regardless, Sonic’s selfishness slips in and paints the character in a very unique light, but if you don’t fall for the trap of him being a hero but rather an adventurer who lives for himself first, than it starts to not be a surprise. Or at least, that’s my view on it.

[mobius-prime]

210. Sonic the Hedgehog #142

The Original Freedom Fighters (Part 1)

Writer: Romy Chacon Pencils: Art Mawhinney Colors: Josh Ray

It's been a while since we saw anything of Hope, but she's settled into life in Knothole quite well. She's been going to school, and today, she's stressed because she procrastinated on her history report and now has to look for sources at the library last-minute. While looking around, she finds a file on the "original Freedom Fighters," though she doesn't recognize any of their faces. As she's walking home, Sonic accidentally blows all the papers out of her hands while racing by, and helps her pick them back up as an apology.

So I've actually been excited for this story, as it ties into some stuff I've talked about before, though I won't be able to go into details till part 2. Tig Stripe was a retired general from the Great War, but when Robotnik's takeover began over a decade ago he immediately leaped into action to save as many civilians as he could, directing them to Knothole during the evacuation. He even helped a five-year-old Sonic personally when he became separated from his group.

Hundreds of citizens were evacuated to Knothole, which was originally a tiny hideout hidden from the rest of the world. Under Stripe's leadership the place was transformed into the village we know today, but the Robotnik problem still remained. One night Sonic and Sally were sneaking around when they overheard Stripe and his allies talking through a window. They were torn on what to do, with some insisting that it was their duty to fight back, while others reasoned that they didn't have the proper firepower to mount a successful invasion of the city. Stripe settled the matter, bringing everyone together into the first Freedom Fighter group.

Stripe led the team in hit-and-run strikes against Robotnik's factories in much the same way that Sally's Freedom Fighters did (and still do), and they became a symbol of hope for Knothole. They even passed the word on to other parts of the world, encouraging more people to form their own Freedom Fighter chapters to battle Robotnik's tyranny. Hope asks why they're not around anymore, and Sonic replies that they were betrayed by one of their own… who we'll find out about next issue.

I Wanna Be a Freedom Fighter!

Writer: Romy Chacon Pencils: Steven Butler Colors: Jason Jensen

Once upon a time, several years ago, Amy Rose threw a massive temper tantrum because Sally wouldn't let her join the Freedom Fighters. She whined that Tails was allowed to be a Freedom Fighter even though they were the same age, and accused Sally of just wanting to keep Sonic for herself when Sally tried to reason with her. Remember, she was a little kid back then, so this behavior was a bit more understandable.

There's actually a mistake on this page - Amy didn't use Sonic's billionth ring to age herself, but the Ring of Acorns. I suppose I can't blame Romy for getting this one wrong considering that they're both just magical rings, but continuity is important to me, dammit. Anyway, Sally continues her speech, recognizing how despite the horrors the war has brought, it's also brought everyone together. She recalls Amy's most recent act of heroism, where she fought off the first wave of swatbots singlehandedly during Operation: Triple Threat, and then awards her an Acorn Medal of Valor for her service.

She's had to grow up quickly (though to be fair, a lot of that was by choice), but now Amy Rose is a full-fledged member of the Freedom Fighters! I mean, she's basically been an honorary member for a while now, ever since the first Sonic Adventure arc, but it's nice to finally see it made official.

Mobius 25 Years Later: Moment of Truth

Writer: Ken Penders Pencils: Steven Butler Colors: Jason Jensen

We're getting close to the end, guys - almost everything in this arc is plot-related now, thank goodness. Knuckles has a restless night full of disturbing dreams about what the future might bring, and wakes up late. When he comes down the stairs, Lara-Su is there to greet him, and pointedly informs him about a recent encounter of hers with one of Knuckles' old friends.

Oh come on Knuckles, you know she's never going to give this up. It's actually worth pointing out that while Lara-Su may seem incessantly whiny about this from an outside perspective, we should keep in mind that she's the latest in a long lineage of Guardians who have been going back hundreds of years protecting the island, and not only that, but the majority of her father's family and friends are war heroes who all had their chances to save the world multiple times over. It's really no surprise that she isn't taking her father's offhand rejection of the idea of training her well - from her point of view, he's basically babying her and being so overly protective that she doesn't have the chance to choose what she wants for herself, even though at her age Knuckles had already fought a dozen battles for the fate of the world.

Meanwhile in Cobar's lab, he and Rotor are still hard at work trying to find a proper solution to the end of the world problem, but none of their simulations are giving them enough data. Lien-Da is nowhere to be seen, and they don't seem bothered by anything she might have said to them, so apparently her showing up all ominously in their lab last issue meant literally nothing. Rotor has an epiphany that if they could go back in time they could properly study this phenomenon, and when Cobar points out that echidna scientists are forbidden from researching time travel due to its inherently volatile nature Rotor retorts that the echidnas aren't the only ones who have advanced technology in this world. Back at Knuckles' house Sally finds Sonic and confronts him once more about his attitude lately, and he again reiterates that he doesn't like being king and that he thinks she should be handling all this political stuff. Nevertheless, when Knuckles comes to find him saying that Rotor and Cobar are calling, he dutifully comes along to listen to what they have to say.

Sonic gives the go-ahead for them to meet at the shuttle port in two hours to head to the storage site, telling Knuckles once the call has ended not to tell Sally, as he doesn't want her coming along with the kids. Man, no wonder you and Sally are having problems, Sonic, apparently you actively hide things from her even though you then complain about having to handle those same things! Knuckles says he has business to take care of first and heads out to do whatever it is, passing Sonia and Lara-Su on the way. Sonia complains that even though she was born first, Manik is the next in line for the throne because he's the firstborn male. Hey, wait, what? That seems… oddly archaic, even for a monarchy. I know that this is a rule based on like, ancient patriarchal monarchies, but it just makes no sense in the world of Sonic the Hedgehog, because apart from where Penders seems desperate to insert it, there really isn't much gender discrimination in this universe. Men and women alike both participate in battles, politics, home life and the like, and though it's been noted before that Sally would have been the first female to bond with the Source of All in her bloodline, I just kind of assumed that it was because the line was predisposed to male babies or something. Plus, it seems like a bizarre tradition for Sally in particular to want to carry on, considering that by all rights, going by this rule she shouldn't have even become queen due to being both female and not the firstborn. Sonia is clearly the more interested of her and Sonic's two children in becoming queen someday, so why pass her over in favor of Manik, who isn't interested at all? That's almost an exact recreation of the situation with Elias, and we all know how that went! I fully chalk this up to Penders' weird gender biases leaking into his writing, because the Sally I know wouldn't be down with this rule at all - but eh, we've already seen massive amount of out of character behavior in this arc, so I suppose we shouldn't be too surprised at even more. Anyway, the issue ends with Lara-Su complaining to Sonia about not being able to become Guardian due to her father's wishes, and when Knuckles overhears this, he appears to become contemplative, thinking to himself about something important…

[cutegirlmayra]

Sonamy boom how sonic found out that he liked amy or vice versa

(x) Preview image made by Fennec! Please support her! (I love how self-aware Sonic is in this comic where he looks at his heart he just made and is like ‘crap’ lol XD)

Prompt:

“Sonic! A word with the bird?” Soar quickly had charmed his way into stopping Sonic’s morning run, who rolled his eyes and folded his arms; groaning.

“Mr. Hedgehog, rumors have flown up to my part of the sky and stated that you’ve been running since before the dawn of time! What do you have to say?” He almost jabbed Sonic with the mic, and he had to lunge down to dodge it.

“Hey!” He glared.

“Well said.” Soar pulled the mic back, and then turned to the camera, “Now, for the juicy gossip.” he bounced his eyebrows, as Sonic looked confused.

“W-wait a minute, I thought you just talked about rumors? Why are we going into-OFFPH!”

“Zip it, I haven’t questioned you with intimidating camera lights yet.” Soar shoved his mouth shut before then putting an arm around him and in a flashy manner, raising his head up.

“Ladies and Gentlefolks watching, it’s time for Dropping an Ease!”

Suddenly, Sonic was whisked into a chair, “Hey!” and immediately strapped down from his arms, legs, and braced to the chair.

The chair then squeakily was adjusted to move up with some pump-mechanics and a strobe light flared down on him.

“Wrong light!” someone called, and the light that was blinding Sonic suddenly changed to an interrogation light.

“Better! Roll with it!” the same voice cued and then a hand whipped to a point for Soar to come back on.

He swerved in, happy as ever, before starting up his question again, pulling out a card. “Oh, there’s the lights! Haha! Now then, Sonic…”

“I-I-I don’t think I signed up for this.” Sonic fidgetted.

“Who is…” the man narrowed his eyes, leaning closer to the chair.

“No…no… no!” Sonic kept swishing his head around, before Soar slammed a hand down on its side, stopping Sonic from struggling.

“You’re… Crush!”

“I don’t have one!” Sonic shouted out.

“Don’t lie to me! Lie to them!” Soar then pulled him out of the chair when the locks came automatically off and pulled him up to the camera.

“Honestly! I’m way too cool to have a crush!” Sonic’s face was partly smashed into the camera, as Soar pulled him away, giving him a funny look.

“Really? That’s so… Boring.” he flung Sonic over his shoulder, a humorously blank expression on his face, and Soar looking disappointed.

“Well, that was lame. Sorry, folks! But I guess that means his heart is still up for grabs! Any takers?”

The twins at home squee’d and tapped their feet on the ground.

Dave rolled his eyes, apparently having peeked into his mom’s room to see what she was watching.

Amy.. held her blanket closer to her side, and looked down.

The next day, Sonic was recounting the odd experience, but Amy seemed a bit bitter and was countering everything with sarcasm and ridicule.

“Woah! I’m sorry, but… when did this turn into pick-on-Sonic day!?”

“Last Thursday, but I forgot.” Amy glared back.

“Woah, you two need to chill out.” Tails put up his hands and stepped in-between their odd bickering, before then looking to Sonic with an arrogant glee in his eyes, “I mean. Pfft. We can’t all have love interests.” he gloated, clearly having a crush already.

Sonic groaned again and stomped off.

Once he was gone, shaking his head and growling in anger, she softened up and gripped her heart.

“How can someone NOT have a love interest?!” Amy complained at her group meeting, as the other members looked to each other, and awkwardly back at her. “I mean.. when you spend enough time with a totally cute girl you tend to fall for her, right!? Am I missing something? Could it be her hair? Her cooking? When you literally go out and see a guy-flick WHILE complimenting his manly musk- how can you not get brownie points for that? HOW CAN HE NOT HAVE A CRUSH!?!?”

The rest of the members saw her outburst, and out of fear, nodded and scooted back, all trying to reassure her standpoint or agree in some way to her while they muttered in fright.

Walking home, Sonic dashed right by her, and she mumbled something under her breath about him being a ‘fly-by’ kinda guy, before he came back, seeing her with a smile.

“Oh, hey, Amy, how are ya? Alone? Tonight? Dark night? So am I! haha..?” He suddenly chuckled nervously, rubbing the back of his head.

“Yeah. Real chilly.” she hunched forward, sighing. “Sonic… can I ask you something.. personal?”

“Personal? Why Personal? Why do we need to be personal?” he fidgetted, rubbing his arm and looking away, trying to keep up his smile. “Ehem, but on the off chance it’s something cool, what did you have in mind?”

She sighed again, “What.. do we have in common?”

That stopped him real quick, as he looked up to the stars. “W-well..”

“I mean, we both love fighting robots… I guess.” she tilted her head, “And you like to eat and I like making things to eat, so we get along there too..” she gestured a hand out. “I just can’t seem to remember anymore…” she lightly scuffed her hand against a piece of wild wheat, letting the little particles fall where they may as she then dusted her hand off.

Sonic began to reminisce, it was a night like this one too… when he found out…

Amy acting silly and over-the-top, ranting on about the movie they just saw.

“I can’t wait to someday take down a whole evil army!”

“Yeah!” Sonic jumped up, “And I can save a princess!”

“Pfft, please.” she flapped her hand out, “I’m the one saving lazy princesses! You and go and uh… slay a dragon or… something.” she happily balanced on a pole before Sonic spoke up again.

“Hey,… I could save anyone I wanted too! That’s it! A dragon princess!”

“Lame.” Amy did a unique flip, which caught Sonic’s attention. “Woah…” he stared, “Hey, that’s actually kinda cool. And I should know, I’m the epitome of cool~” he flashed his best ‘cool-guy’ finger guns and smile.

She stared a moment before her red cheeks turned away and giggled, sitting down on the horizontal pole. “I guess I just like to be athletic.”

“And that’s totally cool!” Sonic jumped and grabbed the pole, lifting himself up by his arms, showing off. “Hey, Amy. Me and Tails were thinking… you.. you could be pretty cool if you were a hero, ya know.”

She gave him an odd look, “What do you mean? Could?” she teased, lifting her head before ducking it and seeming to blush again, but he didn’t notice, looking up at the night sky.

“I mean.. the first time I met you, you stormed through our door and demanded to be apart of our gang, right?”

“Yeah, so?”

“Well, you made it! You took down Eggman’s robots and even out swung Knuckles! It could be fun, you know? Even if you are a girl…” he looked away, growing strangely shy.

He didn’t seem to mean coming off any particular way, but Amy puffed up her childish cheeks and went to get him.

“And what is that suppose to- ah..aHHH!!!” she lost her balance! Falling fast before Sonic impulsively moved and grabbed her hand.

“Hang on!”

He tried to pull her up, as she watched with amazed eyes before their fingers slipped.

“Amy!”

“Sooooniicc!”

He dashed down in a quick spin-ball like way, ratcheting off of trees and a building nearby to then grab her in his arms.

“Got’cha!”

The two stared in wide-eyed enchantment at one another…

Sonic’s heart was racing, but he figured it was from all the excitement of the daring rescue.

He had never been this close to a girl before…

Amy stumbled out of his arms, growing increasingly more embarrassed. “T-there! You saved a girl! Way to go!” she seemed to aggressively speak the words out, but Sonic took it literally.

As she adjusted her dress and patted her flaming cheeks, he looked at his hands, and then smiled gleefully up at her.

“I did!”

She turned around.

“I totally just saved your life! Ha! You must think I’m the coolest dude around now!”

She couldn’t help it. She turned with a gentle smile, “You were cool without the heroics… Sonic.”

He paused a moment, watching her expression and feeling something stir once again to be closer to her again.

She batted her eyes away, a cute touch, before closing her eyes and tilting her head in a way that made her hair sway with the gesture.

“I always thought of you as my hero.”

Then, something odd and strange happened to him.

He pouted, feeling embarrassed as his face brightened and he angrily wagged his arms about.

“BUT THAT’S NOT FAIR!” he hollered, “I’m supposed to be cooler than that!”

What he never admitted, was that the heat that seemed to come from anger… was from being so touched by such a strong, graceful girl considering him her hero before he officially saved her.

Sonic shook his head from this thoughts, “I always thought we had saving people in common.” he smiled gently, not expecting her to catch on to his inside-reference.

“Hehe, yeah… We’ve always loved saving the world.” She smiled then, turning back to him.

She put her hands behind her back, “You know, we’ve saved it so many times!”

“It’s been fun.” his voice lowered, his eyes lingering on her younger self, the image in his mind.. the feeling of holding her again..

“Yeah, well… I guess it never gets old, huh?” she turned to look back at the stars, not even noticing him staring sweetly to her.

He tilted his head, “No.” he tenderly closed his eyes and looked down. “I guess not.”

He forgot the world for a second…

He’d rather save her again…

If ever she got into trouble again, she was too careful these days…

Too good at saving others and herself.

She suddenly saw something and went over to get it, before tripping and Sonic opening his eyes, almost too late to notice.

Could it be..?

His heart raced, he wondered if fate had heard him before Amy caught herself and balanced her landing with a beautiful roll and poise.

“Ta-dah! haha! No girls’ complete unless she can catch herself, huh Sonic?” she cheekily smiled behind to him, grinning wildly and hoping to make him feel impressed.

However… from his point-of-view… it was cruel. Oh so mockingly cutely..

His hand was still inches from reaching out for her…

He withdrew it back and folded his arms, turning grumpy.

“Yeah,.. swell.” he pouted. “Call me old fashion… but I liked it when heroes saved princesses…” he muttered out.

Amy blushed and looked away. “Y-yeah… I guess that’s just you.”

He frowned harder.

“But…” she giggled and kicked the ground, “Nowadays… girls need a new kind of hero..” she skipped on, and in curiosity, Sonic followed after her.

“Like what?” Sonic stated, rounding to her side. “What kind of hero do girls want?”

“Not want.” Amy stated, winking at him and turning, “Need.”

He pursued, “Y-yeah, but you didn’t answer me!”

“So persistent~ Why are you trying to find out what girls need in a man, Sonic?”

“You said hero.”

“Fine. I’ll tell you.” she put her hands on her hips and spun around. “Girls need a hero who saves them from the things that aren’t attacking them on the outside.”

He paused, not understanding.

“…A princess…” she touched her heart, looking suddenly sorrowful as she peered down at it. “Needs someone who will save her tears…”

She walked on, and Sonic found himself falling in love all over again… 

Sonic then deeply believed that it was an inexcusable sin to make girls cry.

“Oh no...” he shuttered. “I think I did lie.. But not to them.” she was already out of earshot.

“...But to her.”

He didn’t want to save princesses.

He wanted to save the one girl that saw him as a hero... before he ever was one.

[sargenthouse]

Conversation w/ Kevin Martin & Dylan Carlson // Clash Music

In one of recent years’ more surprising collaborations, Kevin Martin (AKA The Bug, Ice, Techno Animal, God) and Dylan Carlson (AKA Earth) have followed up a 2014 EP with a full album: 'Concrete Desert'.

Having each established a reputation in what might seem, on the surface, like completely different fields — one in bass-heavy dub-inflected electronica, the other in bass-heavy minimalist guitar drone — 'Concrete Desert' is a powerful demonstration of what genuine musical risk-taking and an ear open to shared loves can do.

Clash caught up with the dynamic duo at Ninja Tune’s headquarters in Kennington, London.

Clash: It’s great to encounter a genuinely surprising collaboration when so many these days feel like they’re just being done to grab audience share or headlines…

Kevin: My problem with most contemporary music culture is its safe. Some people want music to be an easily consumable thing or want comfort. I like the fact that a band like Autechre or Sunn O))), who have made zero commercial compromises, just by being committed to their aesthetic, people pick up on that: you gain an audience through respect.

It takes a lot of bravery to keep doing what you do if it’s not commercial. Dylan has had the lean years that I’ve had: peer pressure, family pressure, mental pressure thinking “am I mad for going down this path?” But, actually, it’s the only path I can live with myself. Buddhists believe in navigating a path through chaos: I think music is that path through chaos.

Dylan: When I was first starting out I lived in Aberdeen (State of Washington) for a while and I used to watch the Melvins practice. Buzz (Osborne) said, “there’s two ways to do music: you can try and do what’s happening right now which you might succeed at but you might not. Or you do what you do and you keep doing it until, if you keep doing it long enough, people catch up to you.” To me it’s like people think “why would this guy waste his time for 20 years doing this? There must be something there.”

So, yeah, I could have made 'Earth 2' over and over again. When 'Pentastar' came out we played this music festival in New York — we played one song, the Jimi Hendrix tune ‘Peace In Mississippi’ for 45 minutes. I didn’t know but a friend of mine who worked for MTV came backstage and told me the whole audience was all industry people: they’d all come to see Earth and they were furious. One lady was so angry, “who do they think they are making fun of us?!” I had no fucking idea. Supposedly Gene Simmons was there.

Kevin: As I’ve gotten to know Dylan I found out he moved around a lot, I did too, my dad was in the navy. I feel quite rootless. I’m sort of envious of musical forms that are pure because I love those forms whether it be reggae or hip-hop or grime or whatever but I’m just this mutant freak who ghosts through cities and scenes.

I am always attracted to the idea of people trying to be originators and mavericks and I feel that’s what Dylan definitely is. Also just trying to maintain a trajectory: I always aspire to a different record, I always want to surprise myself, but I don’t want it to be radically different because that can feel very kneejerk.

Dylan: Yeah, you don’t want to look like you’re genre-hopping but I abhor the idea of making the same record over and over and Kevin feels the same way.

I remember as grunge was happening, it was the tail-end of the hair metal years, and so all the want adverts for musicians were hilarious: “looks, hair, attitude: gotta have gear — we’re going places, we’ve got a development deal…” and, of course, none of those guys went anywhere because grunge killed that paradigm. Then grunge became its own by-rote thing: it’s really funny to me, the concept of picking the genre before you start the band.

Kevin: I literally started making music, as opposed to just absorbing it, through DIY post-punk music: the idea of independence — trying to do your own thing. Why would you want to sound like someone else? Why would you want to adopt the formula that gets you accepted? With 'Techno Animal', as soon as we worked on something that sounded like something else we’d drop it and move on.

Of course it makes your life more difficult: sometimes it feels like spiting myself. 'Techno Animal' was too noisy for hip-hop people and too hip-hop for noise people; God was too jazz for noisy people but too noisy for jazz people; Bug it’s too noisy…There’s a theme here isn’t there? Too noisy for grime people or dubstep people.

Really it’s just staying true to a path you feel inspired by. I want to develop my own voice. With music that’s the critical question: how can you make yourself have a voice through machinery? Same with guitar. It comes through texture, tone, philosophy, aesthetic: how can you continue to develop an aesthetic that’s true to you and feels good?

Your shared aesthetic is noticeable, but how did the two of you actually come to make music together?

Kevin: I was a fan-boy. I’d heard 'Earth 2' and was horrified by it in a good way. Then I got totally smitten by 'Hex; Or Printing In The Infernal Method' and then followed Dylan’s path from 'Hex' and really liked how he had continually taken left turns and absolutely explored the space in music between notes and how he seemed obsessed, like me, with slowness and volume.

At the time I was looking to try something different with 'Angels & Devils' and I wanted half the album to be expansive, textural, not club-orientated. When we originally worked together on what became the 'Boa' EP, the idea was that one or two of those tracks would be on 'Angels & Devils'. But, because I felt we had created something really special in a wholly different area and I felt we would push the album in a direction that may not fit.

I must admit I had a hunger to do more stuff with Dylan: I think he’s a craftsman of the top drawer and, for me, I’ve become obsessed with tone and texture and Dylan has that times a zillion.

Dylan: I’m more often in the position of collaborating with people through Earth as the line-up changes a lot, but if I’m working with someone where I trust what they’re going to do is going to work and then with him, since he asked me, I figured ‘how can I not work with him?’ So after 'Angels & Devils' we got asked to play Supersonic together and then the Ninja Tune 25th anniversary party in LA and that’s where the opportunity to work together came from.

Kevin: It was originally meant to be another EP. I popped the question: “hey, we’re going to be in LA, how do you feel about doing another EP?” Prior to going to LA I was working on some sketches in Berlin and Brazil — and it snowballed.

Suddenly I had a lot of sketches in front of me that I felt were alright and were very much with Dylan in mind. So I reached out to Dylan, said that we had a few days off, that I had a few more sketches, did he fancy having a crack at an album?

I think Dylan must have thought I was mad particularly as we only had two days booked in a studio. In all fairness it was wicked of Dylan to say yeah.

Dylan: I laid down my guitar tracks in those two days then Kevin did his work after that, the tweaking came later in Berlin. He reacted to what I had done.

Kevin: Exactly that. I reacted to what Dylan had done. Again, what was really interesting was we didn’t really know each other. When we did the first single we had no direct contact other than email.

So the studio sessions for 'Concrete Desert' was the first time we were sitting next to each other, Dylan with a guitar in hand, and we were discussing ideas for the tracks — getting to know someone you know? Being able to communicate about how we could structure shit and just philosophically talking about LA. We didn’t know the album would be focused narratively on LA until after the fact.

So the focus on Los Angeles came later…?

Kevin: I realised that what I would love to do was to recreate LA again in my head. The information I got from Dylan, as a one-time resident of LA, made me think maybe I wasn’t totally mad in my perception of the city. It was me wanting to recreate the haze, the expansiveness, the alien quality of that city: trying to evoke it in a listener.

I think when we discussed the idea of calling the album 'Concrete Desert', when I first heard what Dylan had ended up gravitating toward sonically, he was doing stuff that, for me, sounded like inner-city claustrophobia, but his recent stuff sounded to me like desert music, parched, dry, barren landscapes. The idea of this collision of the two — which I feel LA is — is what I hoped the album would be.

Dylan: I lived there for four years and I still have a weird fondness for LA that Kevin doesn’t share — but a similar view about the disparities of the city, the alienation and fractured nature of the city, the complete ecological disaster that the city is. And yet it’s the producer of fantasies, it pretty well governs the fantasies of the entire world with its output.

It’s the core of the American dream: Los Angeles. Yet, at the same time, it’s the city of massive homeless encampments. Because it’s so big it’s very territorial: people don’t go outside of their neighbourhoods. A friend of mine was from San Gabrielle and there are two gangs there: none of his cousins could go to school there because it meant crossing five blocks of the other gang’s territory.

The very insular nature of the neighbourhoods and the fact that it’s a supremely racist city. America’s a supremely racist country which it keeps trying to deny but I especially notice it having spent a lot of time in London now.

So the album isn’t just pure dystopia or celebration then?

Dylan: I consider myself weirdly optimistic. I’ve always viewed my band Earth and the music I make as an antidote to the bad stuff in the world rather than waving a flag for it.

Kevin: Earth’s music now is incredibly pretty — to me it’s beautiful — and 'Concrete Desert', I feel there’s a beauty to it. OK, it’s dystopian in theme but actually, just as LA isn’t all hell, there’s sunshine and beauty in that city — and the dreams of a city, and LA in particular, there are the dreams everyone aspires to. And I didn’t just want to make an ugly record, I wanted it to have duality.

Some people might listen to 'Concrete Desert' and be disappointed it doesn’t sound like ‘Skeng’ (note: track from 'London Zoo') or may be disappointed that it doesn’t sound like 'Earth 2'. We wanted to sound like X plus Y equals Z.

We both knew that we wouldn’t want it to sound like a typical Earth record or a typical Bug record. I know Dylan pushed me: for instance, there’s a couple of tracks where it’s like trying to find a new form of fuzzed out jazz that swings like a motherfucker — I don’t think I would have done that without playing alongside Dylan. The collaborative process is crucial: it’s about creating sparks and collisions that form new mutations.

Dylan: There are musicians that I admire that are weird, solitary types in a certain way but, to me, other people do stuff you wouldn’t think of and they add to what you’re doing, so the magic happens when you interact with other musicians.

Kevin: When I started making music, music was the only thing I loved that helped me make sense of the world. I started because my father and my grandfather were musicians, so it was in my blood. Also I dropped out of school very young, warfare at home so got kicked out my house — there weren’t any other options.

Punk music was my driving force because it seemed to reflect the madness I was surrounded by. You didn’t make music as a career move: I think, now, a lot of people are doing it just to make money — same with contemporary art. I made music to make myself feel better about this world; to understand this world, and myself, a bit better — to escape this planet.

Dylan: That’s the thing, all the best music, there’s a sense of freedom and limitless possibilities. So much music now — and there was plenty of shit back in the old days too, we’ve just cherrypicked the good stuff and think “oh it must have been great back then,” when really it was the same — I question its motives: they don’t seem pure, there’s a lack of people who are doing music because they can’t do anything else. The best music, to me, it’s because you’re desperate to make music, it’s all you can do.

I’ve watched it change so much. Before, alternative music was made by people no one liked, the outcasts who had to find their people. Now it’s the cool kids doing it: the cool kids already have everything else… When I started I really wanted to fuck people off.

Dylan: I think that’s a common theme when we’re young. I remember when someone interviewing me asked “what inspired you in the early days?” and I said “revenge.”

Kevin: That’s it. I had a lot of issues and music was my way of dealing with them: it was about therapy and spite. I was all about getting immersed in the horror: I wanted my music to show the ugly madness of it all. Now I feel I’m trying to create parallel worlds and to create sounds I can’t hear anywhere else as opposed to trying to reflect the madness of everything else. There’s a shift, that’s something different.

Maybe I’m, finally, a more positive person? I feel I am attempting to be a craftsman at what I do. I would have spat at myself saying that 25 years ago. But I’ve fallen in love with the craft of producing sound and I’d like to leave this planet in the process of doing so. I think Dylan feels the same.

Via Clash Music.

[lunar-lattice]

My Roommate Was A Monkey Alien (1)

Kaito considers himself a very ordinary person in an extraordinary world that, luckily, just hasn't quite made it to his doorstep. Kohlra's here to challenge that notion.

AO3 mirror / Fanfic.net mirror

Next

1. Enter Extraordinary

Kaito always dealt with things how they came. He supposed it came with his childhood. Sure, his parents were great but that mattered little with the scary thing is you heard about on the news. Like murderers or natural disasters or that one time East City was blown off the map. Or that entire month or about where everyone lived in terror of being killed by an...alien? Bug? Thing? Then after that there was some sort of disaster that Mr. Hercule Satan had also taken care of. The details on that one were sketchy, some sort of shapeshifting pink demon. There's been a fair share of earthquakes and weird lights in the past few years as well.

But Kaito said he dealt with it. Though, his anxiety medication would tell you differently.

So it made complete sense when he unraveled when a savior from the sky quite literally spirited him away from a hungry dinosaur. He had gone out for a casual walk and to catch some photos. He didn't expect any excitement! So as of right now, he was screaming his lungs out as he hung on for dear life as his savior zipped through the forest, dodging trees expertly. She set down in a clearing and dropped him unceremoniously. "They really should weaponize you…,” she paused, searching for a word, "... creatures' screams," she said with an obvious expression of disdain.

Kaito would have been offended if he wasn't more focused on checking if his glasses and camera were okay. Luckily, they were which was a relief as even one needing to be replaced would clean out his savings. Both? He'd be, as they say, SOL. He straightened his glasses and looked at his savior. She was taller than him not counting her purple-black hair and counting it? She was much taller than him. She wore purple spandex under white and brown armor that seemed vaguely familiar. A brown tail lashed behind her which was odd but Kaito shrugged it off. The king was a dog, for God's sake! A girl with a tail wasn't that weird in this world. She glared at him with cold black eyes, pupils dark enough to be miniature black holes. "Be useful," she snapped, "and tell me where in the universe am I!"

Kaito glanced around. Nothing was familiar here. "Well, we shouldn't be too far from North City—it's where I live—"

"Idiot!" the girl hissed, "The planet!"

He blinked dumbly, "Earth?"

"Thank you," the girl said in a way that made it obvious she didn't actually mean it.

She turned, surveying the area, "Never heard of Earth, which is good. Must be some backwater planet which means no one's looking for it."

Kaito heard everything she said, decided he had no idea what she was talking about but that it couldn't mean anything good, and looked for a way out. He could make a run for it but that risked getting even more lost. Not to mention that if she could fly, it would be a moot point. He mumbled, "Are you gonna kill me...?"

She snapped her head to look at him and he withered away. He didn't mean to say that out loud! "As much as that might make me feel better, no. I'm trying to hide and I won't be taking any risks with the locals. You might be weak but I'd bet whatever kind of currency you have here that someone here could kill me. And the way my luck is going, they'll find out if I kill someone!"

She sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose, "My parents would think me a disgrace if they found out I wasn't looking for a fight."

Kaito nodded, only to show he was listening. She must have saw him since she continued—or she only continued to hear herself speak, "I just need to sit low, scope out the place and be safe. There's probably no use in finding help now anyways."

"I'm-I'm sorry for whatever happened..." Kaito mumbled.

"You don't even know what happened and I won't tell you," she hissed.

Kaito frowned, "Alright, sorry-"

"Stop saying sorry!" she snapped.

Kaito flinched and satisfied, the girl turned on the heel of her white boots and strode away. He sighed and took out his phone. Shoddy reception. He glanced at the sky, where the sun was heading west, heralding evening time. He could find his way north from there. It wasn't optimal but it was what he had.

"Hey."

He nearly jumped out of his skin as the girl came back. She snorted, "Tell me where this North City is and I'll take you to it."

Kaito blinked in surprise but decided to trust her. He pointed north, "It's not very far, you should be able to see it from high enough up!"

She nodded and picked him up, hefting him over her shoulder like a sack of potatoes. As they rose off the ground, Kaito resisted the urge to grab on to her clothes for some form of grounding. But he failed and found her armor had no grip anyways. It was smooth with a slight rough texture, suggesting weathering.

From up here, it wasn't hard to spot North City and with a hum, she set off, flying leisurely compared to her earlier breakneck speed. They were there within minutes, faster than Kaito had made walking only a short distance into the woods. She set down just under the trees by the road leading in and said, "You need anything else?"

He shook his head, "Oh, no, thank you, ma'am!"

She eyed him with a thoughtful look before she extended one gloved hand, "The name's Kohlra."

She didn't squeeze when Kaito took hers and shook it, "I'm Kaito! Thank you again!"

She watched him for an uncomfortable moment before he turned away, "Uh, it's a long walk home so I better get going..."

"You don't want me to take you?"

Kaito turned back. Kohlra's face expertly masked her true feelings, leaving her looking vaguely bored. "Er, don't want people to freak, I mean some people can fly but um, want to keep that sort of thing under wraps!" Kaito gave as a weak excuse.

"I see. See you around then," and with a short hop, she took off, spiraling higher and higher until she was out of sight. Kaito felt sick just watching. He didn't mind heights but at some point, it was too much.

By the time he got home, it was sunset and the city was awash in hues of pink and orange. So Kaito walked the whole way up the stairs to the roof with the intent of snapping a few photos. He stopped at the railing, taking out his camera from it's bag. He looked at the view. There was the city and beyond, the mountains, their snowy peaks lit up in pale pink. He smiled and looked down, turning on his camera, fiddling with the settings...

"Hey."

He nearly jumped out of his skin once again and the only thing stopping him was the expensive camera in his hands. His perfect photo was ruined by Kohlra, floating just past the railing.

He sputtered, "Why are you here?"

She countered, "Nice way to greet a friend."

Kaito grit his teeth. He had come off as annoyed. Sure, he was a little annoyed but not enough to outwardly express it. "I mean, is something wrong?" he said, making his voice soft.

"I have a problem. I need a place to stay. I could sleep in the woods but that's not comfortable."

"I hope you're not asking me. I only have the one room," Kaito laughed nervously.

"Do you not have a living area?"

"Well, I do but-"

"Perfect," she alighted by him, "Show me the way then."

Kaito frowned, "I can't do that! There really is no room and if my landlord finds out, he'll freak! Especially if you break anything!"

Kohlra frowned, except hers was followed with a look that could kill, "I won't break anything that will get you in trouble. Without you, I have nowhere to go. Now show me or I'll acquaint you with the ground," she jabbed her thumb at the railing, her message clear.

Kaito withered away then with a meek nod, he showed her the way.

He closed the door behind them when they got in and deliberately took his time following her. He shrugged off his hoodie as he walked to the living room and dropped it on the back of the couch. His blue hair tie followed and he shook his hair, letting it's full length fall into place. He looked up at Kohlra, eying him. Seeing she was being watched, she turned to the couch, "This is acceptable."

"Better be acceptable," he muttered under his breath as he headed towards his room with the intent to put up his camera. He was surprised he hadn't gotten it broken yet.

Kohlra scoffed and Kaito mentally smacked himself. Of course, she had super sonic hearing. He decided he'd go through his photos the next day, after work. He didn't have classes until the next day anyways.

He returned to her pulling everything out of his fridge. The many plates she had pilfered from his cabinets made it obvious she was about to make herself a full course meal. "What are you doing?!" he shrieked, "That's a good portion of my paycheck!"

She winced and said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, "Making myself a meal. Also don't be so shrill."

"With all my food?!"

She rolled her eyes, "Saiyans have a high metabolism."

He rolled his eyes back, "What about me?"

She shrugged, "Hunt."

He opened his arms, "With what? My good looks?"

She looked at him, studying him, then conceded, "You're right. Not sure if the prey would even come out of pity. I'll hunt and I'll even bring you the leftovers--if there are any."

Without giving him time to respond, she pushed past him and let herself out. Kaito sighed and looked at all the food he had to put back up. He really had his work cut out for him.

[mobius-prime]

58. Special - Sonic and Knuckles Mecha Madness

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Mecha Madness

Writer: Michael Gallagher Pencils: Pat Spaziante Colors: Kyle Hunter

Oh boy, time to see what "Operation Last Resort" is! Turns out, it involves a portable roboticizer - the same one, in fact, that partially roboticized Bunnie all the way back in StH#3. Apparently they actually took it with them when they rescued Bunnie, and Sally's been having Rotor fix it up this whole time in case of such an emergency. It even has a built-in neuro-overrider to let the person inside keep… their… okay, hang on. I'm calling BS. You're telling me that this entire time they've had a portable roboticizer which functions normally, lets the person keep their mind, and as revealed later in the issue even comes with a reverse function that can deroboticize any 'bot that it's created? Can you say plot holes? First of all, since this is Bunnie's roboticizer, it should be the simplest matter ever to stick her in it and give her her organic body back. I guess you could fudge around and say, well, there's too many risks since her process was interrupted and whatnot, but the other problem comes with the fact that two different issues now have had this same drama about someone being roboticized and not having kept their normal mind. How different would literally the last issue have gone if Sally, in response to Sonic's request, had said "Well sure Sonic, we have a nearly-risk-free option right here in Knothole Village. With your consent we'll throw you in it and have Robotnik defeated and in prison by lunchtime"? There would be absolutely no risk of him losing his mind and becoming a slave of Robotnik's! Sure it would come with physical risks, but since when has Sonic ever balked at a risk of death or injury before?

Man, the only way we'll be able to get through this issue is if we just pretend there's no plot holes, so I'll stop my yapping and move on. Knuckles comes to, and after deliriously trying to punch several of the Freedom Fighters present Sally kicks him in the back, which makes him recognize her, because I guess she's the only one who's ever kicked him in the back like that. Healthy relationship, guys! They get a bit gaga over each other for a little while, reminiscing on their past together - apparently Sally's father used to vacation on the Floating Island when Knuckles' father was still guardian and before Robotnik's takeover. Really, this issue makes it seem like they have a residual crush on each other, with Sally in particular still being affected by it. Man, Sally, how many crushes can you have at once? I still insist she's polyamorous. Things would be so much easier for her if she could just date multiple people at once. After a bit more discussion, Sally tells him the plan, and apparently Knuckles just cannot wait to scoot his booty into the 'botmaker and get roboticized.

Everyone actually acts quite terrified by using this option, with Rotor even questioning Sally if this makes them "no better than Robotnik." While it's played for laughs with Sally's response of "Et tu, Rotor?" honestly all this makes me think is that these literal kids (none of them is over 18 at this point) are definitely traumatized by all the crap they've gone through in this war. For basically their entire lives, getting roboticized has been synonymous with psychological warfare and death, with only a handful of examples otherwise (such as Uncle Chuck and the people he rescued a few issues ago, but even then that's an incredibly recent occurrence). It's clear they're having a hard time getting over this association in their minds, apart from Sally, who's the pragmatist of the group, and Knuckles, who… well, has spent most of his time away from the war anyway, and thus doesn't have the same fear.

As all this is going on, Tails is the last to evacuate Knothole himself while Mecha Sonic lays waste to all its buildings, and as such is spotted and targeted. He tries to fly away to safety, but it's hopeless. He's still within reach of Mecha Sonic's blasters, and Mecha Sonic locks on… and…

…hesitates! Sonic, you still in there buddy? He seems to be fighting back somehow, even though Robotnik's apparently upgraded his roboticizers since Sally's old attempts to thwart them. Not a problem for Robotnik though, since he has nuclear bombs, apparently! Jeez, man, he's really serious about taking these guys out for good. After a little while, Mecha Knuckles emerges from the roboticizer, and engages Mecha Sonic in battle, conveniently right before Mecha Sonic can tell Robotnik the coordinates of Knothole. They duke it out midair for a little while, until Mecha Sonic eventually hits Mecha Knuckles hard enough to knock him back straight toward Robotropolis, on a direct course for wherever Robotnik stores his nuclear warheads. Mecha Knuckles, determined to take out Mecha Sonic no matter what, grabs him with a magnetic pull, and together, they hit the stockpile.

Oh, boy.

Everyone back home is in tears. Certainly, as confirmed by Nicole, there's no way they could have survived a nuclear blast like that, not even with upgraded robotic bodies. Sally has to take a few moments away from the group to hide her tears. It's pretty damn bleak.

So, turns out that the blast just straight up ripped a hole in the middle of Robotnik's city, vaporizing basically every building in its path and irradiating the crater. This is some serious damage. No mention of the fact that this probably just killed untold numbers of roboticized Mobians who were stuck inside that section of the city, however, because Robotnik then emerges from an underground shelter, straight into the radiation - how messed up is this guy, dude? He drinks motor oil like it's a nice glass of wine, never exercises, and already lives in a city made out of pollution, and now he can just walk right out into the site of a nuclear bomb explosion with no issue? Anyway, he then happens to find Mecha Sonic's mangled body, somehow still barely alive, though heavily malfunctioning. Oh, and Mecha Knuckles is alive, too, so Robotnik gets punched in the head.

Mecha Knuckles isn't doing so hot, but incredibly, he recounts how just before the impact Mecha Sonic switched their places so he would take most of the brunt of the blast instead. Mecha Knuckles heads back to the Freedom Fighters with Mecha Sonic in tow, to Sally's immense relief, and they get ready to deroboticize Knuckles.

Aww, poor Sonic. Literally, he thinks he doesn't deserve to be saved after what he did, despite it not even being his fault. That's some seriously heavy stuff for a fifteen year old, man. Of course, Sally isn't about to take that. Nicole is able to run some tests and confirm that somehow, back when Sonic collected his one billionth ring and went on that crazy drug trip with the Ancient Walkers, it gave him a magical protection around his "life force," which allowed him to keep some of his personality even while roboticized. I don't know how the hell all that is supposed to work, but essentially, she's certain she'll be able to use that life force protection to deroboticize him even without the help of any machinery, since all of Rotor's equipment was destroyed in the attack on Knothole.

Miraculously, it works, and after a few moments, Sonic is back to normal, although suffering from one hell of a migraine and unable to remember anything from his time as Mecha Sonic. At first everyone is quite happy to have him back, but then he sasses Knuckles right out of the roboticizer, who glides away in a huff, and from there things start to turn sour.

Yeah, you didn't think everyone forgot about his supposed disobedience of a direct order, did you? He's handcuffed and marched away in preparation for a court-martial, as he's now suspected of treason! Remember, from Sonic's point of view, this is all he remembers: got denied his proposition, walked away and passed out, woke up in very brief agony before everything going blank, and then woke up again on the floor with a migraine. He has no idea what has even happened these past two issues, and now he's suddenly being dragged away in cuffs. Can you imagine? This poor guy.

Don't Let the Island Hit You on the Way Down!

Writer: Kent Taylor Pencils: Harvey Mercadoocasio Colors: Kyle Hunter

Well, we couldn't have an epic issue like this without a couple of silly "nothing" stories following it, so time to see what the Chaotix were doing while Knuckles was away being a robot and everything. Turns out they're under attack from the "Fearsome Foursome," a random group of Mobians who are apparently just interested in kicking some ass. The Chaotix get slapped around for a little while before regrouping and fighting back.

It goes on for a weirdly long amount of time considering nothing even happens in this story until like, six pages in. All they do is punch each other around. Suddenly, a mysterious figure emerges onto the scene: Mammoth Mogul, a gigantic mammoth with delusions of grandeur. Apparently, he was actually born in prehistoric times, but a chance encounter with a Chaos Emerald granted him mysterious powers and immortality, and as such he declared himself ruler of Mobius while sitting on a throne wearing a loincloth that leaves almost nothing to the imagination. People eventually couldn't take his manspreading on the throne any longer and ousted him as their leader, and so he just bided his time for millennia until the modern day, where he assembled this really weird ragtag team and is now intending to take the Floating Island's Chaos Emerald for his own, since apparently there are absolutely no other Chaos Emeralds for him to choose from on the planet right now.

The Chaotix respond by punching him in the face in unison, and he immediately retreats, insisting he'll be back at a better time. He literally just jumps into a hovercar straight out of the punch and zooms away at top speed while essentially doing the stereotypical villain thing of shaking his fist and yelling "I'll be back, mark my words!" C'mon, man, you're apparently this immortal god-being from prehistoric times and four random dudes slapping you is enough to drive you back? What a wuss.

Eel of Fortune

Writer: Michael Gallagher Pencils: Dave Manak Colors: Kyle Hunter

This story pretty much only exists because Michael has overestimated how much people might care about the Forty Fathoms Freedom Fighters. P.B. Jellyfish encounters Octobot swimming at top speed and tries to stop and fight him, but turns out Octobot, no longer a big bad boss of the ocean, is himself running away from someone even more terrifying - Eel Capone! Yeah, this guy is basically just a big mob boss joke, even getting his own "hired mussel" (geddit? geddit?) to beat the crap out of P.B. His other friends in the F.F.F.F. find him unconscious, and Bottlenose decides to take things into his own hands by beating up Eel Capone in ninja getup, while simultaneously murdering all his lackeys! Wait, what?!

That is cold-blooded, man! No one even makes mention of the fact that Bottlenose just brutally killed like, a hundred sentient beings. They just drag Eel Capone off to "Aquatraz," and then sing a silly, pun-filled song about the battle. Guys, I can't stress this enough, but your friend is now a literal murderer. Just because he was dressed in a ninja disguise while he was doing the murdering doesn't make him any less of a killer. These weren't even roboticized mussels or anything, they were literally just some living individuals who made bad life decisions. What kind of a Freedom Fighter keeps the head honcho alive but murders all the lackeys who were just following orders? Jesus christ.

[mobius-prime]

199. Sonic the Hedgehog #131

Deep breaths, guys. I know what the cover page says. I know. We'll get to that. Just hang in there. I think you might like what I have in store.

Home (Part 2 of 4): The Gathering

Writer: Karl Bollers Pencils: Ron Lim Colors: Jason Jensen

So not much actually happens in this installment of Home other than the various characters talking to each other about and preparing for the upcoming battle. Since Sonic has been gone, a new Freedom Fighter Special has been constructed that can cut travel time dramatically around the globe. A journey that in the Tornado or on foot (in Sonic's case) would have taken up to two hours can be completed in a mere half hour now, thanks to Rotor's engineering prowess. And thus, Sonic and Tails head out to Old Megaopolis to stop Eggman's twin nukes from launching, along with an… interesting backup team, to say the least.

Man, remember Fiona? It's been ages since we've seen her! It appears that while Sonic was in space, she joined up with the crew in Knothole and has been helping them fight Eggman. That's definitely a better life for her than to be running with the likes of Nic the Weasel, eh? Meanwhile, Knuckles, Julie-Su, Amy Rose, and the other two (active) members of the Chaotix head to Fort Acorn, where General D'Coolette is giving a speech to the soldiers under his command. We've never even heard of this fort before, but according to the general it's been here for ten years, keeping a forward watch on Robotropolis, and this watch has been maintained even after Robotropolis' destruction in case of just such a situation as the current one. With their reinforcements from Knothole, the crew at the fort prepare to defend the city against a massive swatbot assault to lower the forcefield keeping the radiation in check. Back in Knothole, extra measures are being taken to make absolutely sure that even if the worst happens, the citizenry will be safe.

Station Square, for their part, has sent a squad of GUN commandos to help in the battle at Old Megaopolis. The commander of the military is baffled by this decision, wanting to send in their full fighting force, but the president instead opts to trust his allies from Knothole - though just for insurance, he's sent one of his own operatives along for the ride…

Now that's what I like to see! It's about time Rouge got herself some proper screentime. As all this is going on, Eggman waits aboard a docked battleship in the harbor of Old Megaopolis with his assistant M, and orders A.D.A.M. to begin the missile countdown. However, almost immediately, the sound of a biplane puts them on high alert, and Eggman is shocked to see Sonic and Tails bearing down on his location, not having expected them to be able to get here nearly so fast. See, Eggman, this is why you resist the siren call of your ego and keep your damn plans to yourself. All you did was give your enemies ample warning to prepare to foil your evil plot, you idiot!

Mobius 25 Years Later: Prologue

Writer: Ken Penders Pencils: Steven Butler Colors: Jensen

Okay, guys. This is it. We've reached the most Penders thing of all time. This is something that has been hinted at here and there from all the way back in the Sonic In Your Face special to now, and we're finally seeing the culmination of all of that buildup. All the intricate worldbuilding, all the complex character arcs, all the intrigue and political spider webs and back to back wars and everything that the world of Mobius has been through up until now - there's so much to explore, so many directions it could have gone. We're about to see what this world might look like twenty-five years into the future, and with so much rich history to draw from, what might you imagine this story might look like? What genre might it fall into? Well wonder no longer!

It's a drama. It's a teen drama.

There's a reason that Mobius 25 Years Later is widely considered to be one of the worst parts of the comic. The tone of it is just so far off anything else we've experienced so far that it clashes horribly with what we've come to expect. It's not some masterful subversion of expectations or something - in a lot of ways I consider it to be a genuine insult to the rest of the preboot's material up to this point. It's painfully and immediately clear that this is a story Penders has wanted to tell for a while, but, not being able to fit his "middle-aged adults adulting everywhere and being so adult-like while ignoring the feelings and difficulties that ordinary teenagers face" plot anywhere into the rest of the comic, he's opted to just fire the world a couple decades into the future, pair all the major characters off into weird and oftentimes arbitrary heterosexual marriages, give everyone 2.5 children and a titanium picket fence, and then throw in some allusions to the old "war against Doc 'Botnik" here and there lest we forget, entirely understandably at this point, that we're reading a Sonic the Hedgehog comic here. This thing goes on for nineteen whole issues, taking up each subsequent issue's backup story, and ultimately has no real impact on the actual story involving the characters we already know and love. However, this is technically canon, or at least a version of canon (as when you play with alternate realities and multiple timelines, futures are bound to get mixed up here and there), so we're gonna be covering it - all of it. I wouldn't be tempted to skip it anyway, as by delving into each chapter in this trainwreck, we can actually explore why this whole thing fails so hard, and why it's therefore so loathed in the fandom. Plus, I do recognize that some people actually do enjoy this arc for various reasons (one of my close friends does, and has a whole AU of her own relating to it in fact), so I do plan to at least try to be fair in my review - but I really can't hide that I find this whole affair boring as hell, often downright offensive, and ultimately completely out of place. With all that in mind, let's dive in!

We begin with a full page of exposition delivered to us via high school lecture, because everyone knows the best way to establish your worldbuilding is by infodumping it directly into your audience's eyeballs. Apparently, over the last twenty years, Angel Island has been heavily developed into its own independent republic, with a new city, Portal, acting as the center of trade between the island and the mainland below. We're once again introduced to Lara-Su, who, instead of being the badass time-traveling young adult whom we followed before, is now an ordinary teenager taking ordinary high school classes among a bunch of ordinary high school echidnas.

One of the biggest failings of this story is that Penders writes every teenage character how he thinks teenagers act, from his point of view as a middle-aged adult. This becomes abundantly clear the longer you read, as every teenager is a hormone-fueled, authority-defying, entitled, whiny, fickle child who just doesn't understand how the real world works, while every adult is a wise, experienced, and highly logical individual who always knows more than their younger fellows and refuses to pay attention to the whims of mere children. Like, I'm not even exaggerating here - I'm going to be pointing out every instance of this kind of behavior over the entire rest of this arc, and you can't stop me, so nyah nyah. Penders shows so little respect for the mere concept of teenagers, which is a terrible attitude to have not just in general, but especially if you're one of the head writers for an entire series about teenagers saving the goddamn world! Anyway, case in point: the teacher, instead of admonishing Rutan for being a bully, merely snaps at Lara-Su for not acting enough like a "young lady" and tells her to stay after class. Ugh.

Later that day, Rotor arrives on Angel Island as a liaison for the royal ruling couple, Queen Sally and King Sonic, because yes, Sonic literally becomes king in this timeline. He catches a ride from Harry - hey, good to see our favorite dingo still doing well for himself at least - and meets with Espio, who is now apparently Knuckles' secretary or something. At least, that's all I can assume from this weird-ass conversation.

As a matter of fact, yes, Sonic and Sally are bringing their two children, Sonia and Manik, to the family dinner! How very mid-70s domestic family unit of them! Espio informs Knuckles of this over a television screen as the latter broods around in some kind of high-tech facility. Unlike what we've seen of Espio, the years have dramatically changed Knuckles' appearance - his right eye is missing, replaced with a mechanical one, and he sports the cowboy hat that Hawking gave him in the past (you know, the one we never saw again after he received it). While I actually quite like the idea of a main character in the comic losing something as important as an eye, I feel like there's a huge missed opportunity here - instead of just thrusting us into an alternate future where everything is fine but one character is inexplicably missing an eye, how about actually showing us the story of how that eye was lost? Show us a Knuckles who's learning to cope with the loss of an important body part, and having to adjust to his mechanical prosthetic! Go into his feelings about the subject, as someone who has so long been opposed to a faction that thrives on mechanical prosthetics, instead of just skipping over what has the potential to be the most interesting part of this story! Ugh, sorry, there's just nothing that gets to me more than a missed opportunity like this. Knuckles and Espio exchange some tortured small-talk about their kids for a little while, with the only interesting part of the conversation being their discussion of Rotor's arrival and how he's likely here to see someone named Cobar, with whom he apparently has a history. More on that later. Knuckles excuses himself from the conversation, as he has to be home in time for his daughter's "Unveiling" tonight, and as the call ends we zoom out to see that apparently nowadays, the Master Emerald is hooked up to all sorts of technology in this facility, presumably maintaining everything automatically. However, this story isn't done throwing weird curveballs at us yet - it's time to see what our former villains are up to in this future!

There is so much to unpack here. Dimitri, feared overlord of the Dark Legion, is now an amiable cyborg-head-in-a-bubble. Lien-Da, the treacherous second-in-command who regularly spoke of betraying Dimitri and taking the Legion in her own darker direction, is now apparently a single mom who's embraced the domestic life, taking care of her rowdy teenage son while, predictably, complaining about the behavior of kids these days. And weirdest of all, apparently everyone is just fine with these literal former terrorists living in their midst and doing ordinary mom and grandpa things, with Lien-Da even apparently amenable to the idea of trying to make up with Julie-Su because "they're family," despite her history of, you know, erasing Julie-Su's memory multiple times and killing her biological parents as revenge for her birth. I mean, is this what Penders thinks adulthood is? Is he even entirely sane? Does he know the definition of terrorism?

Any-goddamn-way, Knuckles arrives home to his eerily sterile-looking steel-plated mansion that looks more like the lobby of a pharmaceutical laboratory than a place where people live, and greets his loving housewife Julie-Su, who's gained a cute giant ponytail but lost absolutely everything else that made her unique, including her own cybernetic parts and just her personality in general. She informs Knuckles that Lara-Su has locked herself in the bathroom and is having herself a mighty tantrum, refusing to come out to get ready for her Unveiling ceremony, which is apparently the equivalent of a Quinceañera for echidna girls. Knuckles, instead of doing something reasonable like asking her why she's upset, starts aggressively demanding that she come out of her room this instant, while Lara-Su repeatedly yells about how she doesn't wanna. Ugh, teenagers, amiright?

Seriously, I just can't get over how little respect Penders has for teenagers in his writing. Like, yes, I acknowledge that teenagers aren't always the most logical of beings, but they're also not goddamn three-year-olds either. They're old enough to articulate their desires and express their unique opinions, and often do so in very mature ways, especially if they're raised well and treated with the same respect you'd afford any adult. I should know, I was one myself. I would have assumed Penders was one as well at some point, but perhaps he just popped into the world one day as a fully-formed 43-year-old, full of disdain for those younger than himself. It would certainly explain everything we're seeing here.

Anyway, it turns out that the reason Lara-Su is upset is because Knuckles refuses to train her to be a Guardian, and so she whines and yells about it from behind the door like a petulant child as Knuckles continually refuses to actually give her a solid reason why he won't let her be one. When Julie-Su basically forces him to calm the hell down and explain himself, he reluctantly explains that since all the duties of a Guardian have by now been taken over by other functions of their society, he feels there's no longer any need for one, himself included. This is apparently enough to make Lara-Su immediately happy enough to burst out of the bathroom and grab her father's arm, suddenly totally excited to go to her Unveiling as long as Knuckles promises her the first dance. Ah, the fickle mind of a silly, silly teenager!

Kill me.