#but VENTI. i think from a long time ago venti has already placed his bets on the witches

[protect-namine]

recontextualizing durin

I'm going through genshin lore again and my god. albedo and durin both love rhinedottir SO much. albedo can't bring himself to call alice "mother" because rhinedottir means so much to him. durin, even in death, thinks fondly of the mother that birthed it.

RIP dorian. I don't think rhinedottir knew you're still around but your resentment is valid though.

also: durin just wants to make friends with mondstadt!! I mean, we already knew this from v1.2, but now with the windblume event, I suspect venti knew about durin's innocent heart and that's why he and dvalin buried durin in snow and didn't just kill it. durin's heart still beats if you visit the skeleton! durin did cause destruction, but seems to not be conscious of the consequences of its actions.

I'm beginning to think rhine sent durin to mondstadt so venti could take care of it, instead of leaving its fate to celestia. venti and the hexenzirkel seem to be close allies ("sometimes we all need to vent our troubles to the wind"). three of the witches' successors were sent to stay in mondstadt. and venti has access to their tea party locations, the GAA, etc. I think venti has had a long partnership of taking care of, perhaps even covering up, the witches' troubles.

this actually changes a lot! if venti knew durin was from rhinedottir, whom alice thinks of fondly (and we know venti is at least close to alice), then was he sympathetic to durin? in fact, what does he think of the whole cataclysm, of the "great sinner" rhinedottir?

we know venti is not a fan of celestia. we know the archons except greater lord rukkhadevata were supposedly sent to khaenri'ah, but also they each fought off abyssal monsters in their own regions. how much of this was rhinedottir's fault, how much of this did venti simply defend against, and how much did he really know intimately about and covered up (or at least, refused to acknowledge to others)?

from breeze amidst the forest, we know that mondstadt doesn't actually know how the battle with durin ended. they only know the results.

The result was clear — Durin's remains still lie atop the snowy peaks to the south of Mondstadt — but the story of how the battle ended was lost in time. It is said that Dvalin ripped out Durin's throat, and together they fell from the sky. Durin's body sunk into the snow while Dvalin was summoned by the Anemo Archon and fell into a slumber.

[zarara]

something else?

pairings: dense!diluc x traveler!reader, a little kaeya x reader moment plot: read it and find out (pls my brain is laggy but one day i will write a summary) genre: fluff, angst perhaps note: i am apparently capable of writing fairly straightforward stories

if there was anything in the world you would pay to have an endless supply of, it would have to be tea… though the idea of infinite mora sounded as interesting, you were sure your talents in combat would make sure you didn’t find yourself broke or clueless like zhongli.

it’s just that tea was perfect — coffee was a close contender but the bitter aftertaste always found you having to pile it up with more sugar than healthy. tea also had no aftermath on your already deranged sleep schedule. it tasted sweet but rich, it was efficient, and it was warm.

you usually enjoyed your daily cup of tea in the solitude of your chambers but today you were making an exception because kaeya, your superior and over-the-top flirt of a friend, insisted you take your evening snack with him at the tavern.

“there isn’t even a snack provision at the tavern! it’s a tavern for archon’s sake!” kaeya is great at ignoring your complaints as he pulls you into the seat next to him.

“i asked sara to bring some honey roast over for us,” kaeya winks at the young man handling the counter in lieu of an order and you hurriedly pipe up a “tea for me please!”

“now, would you please stop your whining, you baby?”

your mouth drops open, “i’m the baby? you were the one begging to take me to drinks instead of helping me finish that pack of hilichurls!”

“i did mention that i got rid of that abyss mage for you when you weren’t looking.”

“i don’t understand you, kaeya,” you take hold of the cup that the man behind the counter sets down, “but anyway, what is it you want from me?”

kaeya smirks over his glass of dandelion wine, “ah, quite straightforward, aren’t we?”

you kick his shin ungently, “let me ask again: what do you want?”

kaeya takes a sip and becomes uncharacteristically quiet. in fact, he doesn’t even comment when you keep staring at him.

“kaeya…?”

before you can continue to investigate what’s up with him, you hear a familiar voice behind your shoulder.

“well, what have we here?”

“diluc!” the red haired man takes place of the young man who looks relieved to not have to bear witness as a bartender.

“hello, y/n, how do you do?”

you smile, the warmth in diluc’s voice going unmissed, “i’m just fine, although a certain someone has taken it upon themselves to ruin my ritual of tea and silence.”

kaeya props a hand around your shoulders, “i’m just repaying you for getting rid of all those gnarly hilichurls.”

whatever was bothering kaeya a moment ago seems to have disappeared, especially in the presence of his arch rival, diluc.

diluc calmly reaches over to lift kaeya’s hand off your shoulder as if it’s the corpse of a slime he’s picking up and hurls it away. “please, kaeya, i thought you didn’t pursue women who’d clearly expressed their lack of interest.”

“and i thought you were too superior to everyone else to stick your nose in their business.”

“well,” you butt in before the two can actually slit each other’s throats, “i thought it was reasonable to agree to work under jean but i guess we all have things we’re wrong about, don’t we?”

diluc’s expression dampens into something like sadness when you mention your overworked state but you brush it off by chugging the rest of your tea. “oh, before i forget,” you rummage through your meagre backpack before removing a package, handing it over to kaeya, “this is for you.”

kaeya looks perplexed, looking between you and diluc, and slowly places a hand on the package, “for me?”

“a client painted the scenery from luhua for me because i found his paintbrushes and supplies, and i know you like your souvenirs, so you can have it.”

“....” kaeya is still speechless and diluc has you pinned with a look of suspicion.

“but why would give it to him?”

“because i go to luhua way too often already and i know kaeya is usually stuck around monstadt so…”

“that’s incredibly sweet of you, my love,” kaeya regains his senses and as you stand up to leave, he pulls you into a hug.

“you’re welcome, boss,” you smile as you pull away, “anyway, i must be on my way.”

“do you think the traveller is with someone?”

maids at dawn winery sure do love to gossip.

“with her looks and strength, for sure! my bets are on master diluc.”

okay, look, you didn’t meant to eavesdrop on them but they were right there when you came out of the washroom. you were going to walk out and pretend like you hadn’t heard them but hearing diluc’s name shook you.

“no,, what about mr kaeya? i heard they hang out after long, tiring quests all the time.”

“but she and master diluc love to discuss-”

all righty, time to evacuate.

“!!”

you manage to keep a poker face as you throw the door open in their faces and stride past them, making your way to the room with diluc.

you quickly dash in, closing the door behind you. you knOW your face is flushed so you turn away from diluc.

diluc frowns. that’s weird. why are you hiding from him?

he rises from his chair, “y/n? is everything okay? are you hurt?”

“y-yeah, i’m just embarrassed.”

you feel yourself being turned around by two big hands on your elbows.

diluc’s concerned eyes meet yours and you almost melt into a puddle of slimy plasma because he’s so hot even though he’s just worried.

“you’re red. why are you red?”

“...i’m fine.”

as if he’s aware of your flustered state, he moves closer to your face in order to look into your eyes which makes a new batch of blood flow to your face.

“y/n, you need to tell me what’s wrong. is it a fever? i can call—”

“nO! it’s nothing. just—!” you break away from his (very intense) hold and move away into the room for fresh air. “stupid me.”

“no way, she did not!”

diluc is immensely frustrated with venti. he has the most unusual reactions to everything diluc says and usually he doesn’t give a shit, but this is about you and your weird state yesterday, so yES he gives a shit!! >:-(

“yes, she did. i’m telling you she did. why are you—”

“oh, i heard you, i just can’t believe that the calm and strong little traveler would lose her cool and around you of all people!”

“heY, what do you mean? i’m perfectly fine as a person to lose one’s cool around.”

yep, diluc has no idea what he’s saying.

it’s just

he thinks the world of you

he really, really likes spending time with you (even when you guys are just talking about the fatui’s next move! or how you found new cool ways to take down an abyss mage!)

you’re so sweet and you don’t take his words for what they’re not. you’re not taken aback by his bluntness and you’re able to make him laugh.

what more does he need in life

well, apparently, venti because he has no idea what to do after you suddenly left the dawn winery that day.

“ugh”

“you’re really worried, huh?”

“was that not crystal clear by now? i came all the way to windrise to talk to you!”

venti chuckles his annoying chuckle

“okay, okay, i’ll help you,” diluc sighs as he waits venti to go on, “here’s what i think: she likes you back.”

..

what

diluc.exe has stopped working

man just blanks out

short-circuits, fireworks, malfunction — you name it.

“diluc?”

“no.”

“what do you mean, no?”

“first of all, why did you say ‘likes you back’? i- i don’t like her or anything. and secondly, no, she does not like me.”

“i’m going to pretend like i didn’t even hear the first part. about the second thing, here’s a question for you: why?”

“because she likes kaeya!”

venti pauses, “i was not aware there was another contender. diluc, you bastard, tell me all the details next time.”

“does this mean she just hates my guts?”

“no, it just means she may or may not like you. back.”

“i told you—!” venti stands up breaking off diluc’s sentence midway, brushing grass off his palms.

“take her to dinner or something tonight and ask her.”

“ask her? ask her what— wait, where are you going, you stupid bard— ASK HER WHAT?”

life is hard for a traveller

you’ve just managed to finish delivering grilled fish to a jack who wants become more manly when katheryne sets you thREE more commissions saying there was a crazy influx of requests suddenly.

you barely manage to uproot two hilichurl camps, and by the third quest, you’re quite dead inside. if only some rogue eye of the storm wasn’t terrorizing civilians.

you’ve gotten in a hit or two in when you skip over a stone and fall right on your face

“fUCK!”

shit

ouch

ouch shit

that hurt

you manage to twist around and keep the eye away with a half-earnest windblade attack and try to sit up.

damn it, is this the pitiful way you die? dammit, you at least wanted to drink your evening tea—

a flash of fiery thunder catches your attention

is that…?

“y/n! stay where you are!”

yup, it’s diluc in all his dark knight hero glory. he finishes off the stupid green eyeball in less than three fire-charged strikes.

you sigh in relief, falling back against the grass.

“hey, hey, hey,” diluc enters your field of vision, red strands falling into his face as he leans down to cradle your head in his lean arms, “where did you injure yourself?”

you tremble a little as you try to lift your foot, “a-ah, my right foot. i twisted my ankle probably. thanks for fi—”

“shh-shh, you’ll have plenty of time to thank me. come on, can you sit up?”

you grab his wrist and prop yourself against his chest so that you’re practically in his lap.

“that’s great, let me take a look at—”

“mhm!! don’t move. please,” you can feel diluc’s breathing tense behind you as you lean into him, “i think the eye hit me while i was down- my neck— ah, fuck—” your hand comes away from your nape soaked in red, “it’s bleeding.”

“it’s all right, you’ll be just fine. just get comfortable and i’m going to lift you up. think you can manage?”

you nod as one of diluc’s hands comes to rest under your knees, folding them and the other tenderly embraces your upper back.

“tell me if it hurts too much.”

he heaves the both of you up and the shock stings your exposed neck a little but you’ll survive.

everything is beginning to become blurry so you lift your hand to feel diluc and meet his chest. despite everything, you smile, aware he’s speaking because you can feel him vibrating but the words are all mushed up and you can feel yourself slipping away.

even though usually you would panic at feeling your consciousness fading but right now, it’s okay because it’s diluc who’s holding you and you know it’s him because just before the black collapses on you, you hear him.

“you’re fine, kitten.”

“—up! y/n, it’s me.”

mhhm, what a sweet voice. so soft and melodious.

“y/n, i can see you smiling in your sleep,” the voice comes closer, “come on, everyone’s really worried.”

the world materializes in front of you as you fight against the closing of your heavy eyelids. “barbara?”

“y/n! you’re alive!”

“i am?”

why would you not be alive?

…

oh

right

the eye

stupid thing

wait a minute,.,.,.

you remember diluc saving your arse.

oh righT

that’s because he did!

he—

he was holding you?

you were in his lap????????

wait a minute!! that sounds wrong

“am i dreaming?”

“really, of all the people you know, do you really see yourself dreaming of me, traveller? last time i saw you, you wanted to steal the holy lyre from—”

“y/n!!”

holy shit

that’s the voice of your saviour

noo

noo

stop the clock

you’re not ready to meet him!!!!!!!

“ah, it’s master diluc! he was so worried about you the whole time you were dead— i mean, asleep,” you redden as the tall man appears in front of you, “kaeya had to force him to leave and get some food but—”

“ahem!” diluc cuts barbara off with a strong clearing of his throat and she throws him a look before standing up from your side.

“i guess i’ll leave you two alone then!”

“wait, barbara, you should stay—”

and she’s gone.

you slowly look up to face diluc

“how are you feeling?”

“much better,” he sits next to you and you smile, “thanks to you.”

diluc frowns as if remembering something unpleasant, “i really wish you wouldn’t just bear all the load.”

“you found out from…”

“kaeya mentioned he hadn’t seen you around the town square as he usually does and when i went to speak with katheryne, she said she’d had no choice but to send you off on extra commissions.”

you look down, “i’m sorry. i wanted to ask someone to come along but everyone seemed busy and—”

“you never checked up on me though,” you bite your lip, “i would have known.”

“that’s- that’s because you’re always busy, what with the winery and your dark knight—”

“y/n,” you stop speaking with a pout and diluc raises your chin with his finger, “promise me you’ll tell someone next time things get so overwhelming. tell me, i’m never going to be occupied enough to not help you out.”

you blush agaiN

stupid kind diluc

“thanks, diluc.”

“and you can stop feeling sorry for me.”

when you look at diluc he looks he’s just caught you red-handed.

“what—”

“i wanted to help you,” you nod, “what’s more, i think i quite enjoyed it.”

“enjoyed. . . carrying an injured woman to safety? you might have a saviour complex, diluc. or perhaps, some sort of a kink.”

you expect diluc to lash back with a defensive retort but to your absolute and complete surprise, he smirks.

the man smiRKS

he’s all ;)

“oh? i won’t deny that,” your stomach suddenly feels queasy all over again as diluc inches closer (and you’re wondering in your head WHEN DID SATAN, OR WORSE KAEYA, POSSESS THIS MAN?!), “but while we’re on the topic of kinks and enjoying ourselves, you seemed to quite like sitting in my lap.”

“diluc!” your exclamation is one of disbelief because you cannot believe that diluc, the man who has never once made an inappropriate joke around you, is openly accepting that he has a kink and is accusing you of having one.

“what? am i wrong? when i tried to move, you stopped me immediately.”

“y-yeah, i did, but—” you’re trying with all your heart to defend your actions but diluc has managed to come close enough to tap his fingers against your outstretched knee. “it was— you were warm and my neCK was bleeding. was i supposed to just die out there?”

“i suppose you’re right, i am warm.”

“exactly.”

you seemed to have dodged a disaster because diluc is distracted by the cuts on your knee and the bandage around your ankle. his slender finger dance down your shin to touch the fabric of the white material tied tightly and he gently holds it.

“does it still hurt?”

“i don’t know, i haven’t tried walking.”

“do you wanna?”

you nod eagerly and diluc offers his hand but before you can be tempted into taking it, you cross your arms.

“why should i hold your hand?”

“because we need to first test if you can even walk without help.” diluc looks confused and you decide that whatever demon possessed him moments ago is long gone.

“correct answer,” you take his hand, and slowly stand up.

“hmm,” your right foot hurts a little but it’s better than you imagined. you tell diluc that.

“that’s a relief,” you reach the door of the empty cathedral and diluc puts his hand on the door, “would you like to take a walk?”

“is diluc around?”

“ah, he said he’ll be back in five. he’s personally delivering some paperwork to the acting headmaster.”

“alright, thanks!”

you’re excited!! it’s friday and today, you and diluc are going aLL the way to liyue to get dinner and stargaze as a post-dinner activity. diluc said he was friends with xiangling who’d always wanted him to come and try her dishes out sometime and he’d asked you earlier if you’d be interested to join him.

of course you were. it sounded like a date! in fact by the way you had spent all afternoon choosing the deep maroon skirt and contrasting white blouse, you were convinced to view it as a date.

“y/n, i apologize to have kept you waiting,” a breathless (and dashing) diluc appears by your side and you smile.

“no problem, diluc, i heard you were doing some important work.”

the both of you leave the tavern, “not exactly important, but let’s just say that while i may not be interested in the knights of favonius, i do value my life somewhat.”

“jean’s scares you, too, huh,” you laugh.

it’s not like diluc is realizing this for the first time but: you’re beautiful

like yeah, you have great hair and dazzling eyes that are bright when you’re happy and a dangerous smile but in the night, in this ethereal lighting, you’re taking his breath away.

“this place looks so fancy,” you’re seated across from him as you play with the ends of your hair. “when i come to this inn, i usually remain on the periphery but wow, this is quite impressive.”

“well, xiangling did say she got pretty famous as a cook around here.” diluc feels dazed especially since half his attention is occupied by how adorable you look.

the night progresses like this; diluc captivated by your blinding beauty and you trying to wrap your head around the fact that you’re on a daTE with diluc.

“oh, hey, look, it’s a silk flower!” you run over to the short, maroon plant, plucking a few flowers out, “xingqiu was telling me how much he loves these.”

he kneels next to you, smiling, “they are quite the pleasant plants.”

“they sorta remind me of you.”

“me?”

diluc touches the stem as you play around with the buds, “yes. for starters, you’re both red. and you both smell nice. you make wine, these make clothes. and if you think about it, wine is the silk of alcohol.”

his fingers collide against yours in the quaint flower, “that’s an intriguing comparison. wine and silk. . .” before you can pull away, diluc takes hold of your hand, pulling you up after him.

he can feel you stiffen a little and then mold back into place, your tiny hand squeezing against his bigger one. the road has become quieter as you travel further from the inn, and more stars start to peek out from the sky.

“thank you for taking me out to dinner, diluc.”

“thank you for having dinner with me, y/n.”

you suddenly giggle a little as if remembering a memory. “what’s funny?”

you look at him and then back down, biting down on your lip — a terrible habit really but especially terrible right now, because it only draws his attention to the soft pink lips he was trying not to look at the whole night (which was made even harder when xiangling decided to serve you the spicier dishes).

“that time you saved me from the eye, you called me something right before i fainted.”

diluc smiles fondly, “kitten?” he is pleasantly surprised when you giggle again, cheeks tinting the loveliest pink. “what’s this? could it be you enjoy being called kitten?”

you squeeze his hand slightly, “maybe…”

diluc’s heart almost gives out on spot

he’s sO whipped for you it hurts physically

“y/n—”

before he can say anything else, you pull him ahead with you because well,,,, you’re embarrassed

“come on, we should go stargaze before it gets too late.”

diluc smiles and allows you to drag him to the clearing at the edge of a cliff.

“i remembered this cliff from one of my adventures,” you plop down onto the grass and hesitantly, diluc follows

“hmm, it’s very peaceful here. i’m going to have to note this down as one of my future hideouts.”

you grin, “don’t reveal that to me. i might end up following you here and you won’t have any of your good ole introspection time.”

your tone is teasing but for once, diluc feels that his needs for alone time are being acknowledged by your light-hearted threat. he shifts closer, heart on the verge of bursting.

“i like you, y/n,” it comes right out of his mouth, clear and loud, the way diluc always dreamed of confessing but never managed to nail during his endless practices

you, on the other hand, are at the risk of a heart attack. you don’t want to pretend to be clueless and dense — diluc did ask you out for dinner when he could be spending the evening doing something more intellectually enriching — but at the same time, you feel like you can’t be sure enough

because it’s diluc!! he’s so complicated, he has so many layers

“you like me?” you keep your gazed fixed on the stars above just so you can mask your disappointment in case he clarifies that he likes you but, of course, as a friend who easily gets in trouble and happens to be around his tavern all the time

but inside diluc’s head are alarms. literal ALARMS. red, blaring alarms.

“i- you have no obligation to accept my feelings or give me answer but i’ve been meaning to tell you for a long time now. i really like you in a way i didn’t think possible. you’re so kind and funny and you make profound judgements about people, without being swayed by the biases that surround them and you’re so brave. but i know you have many men courting you and you did seem to have a soft spot for kaeya so this is—”

“i like you, too, diluc.”

diluc.exe has stopped working part 2 the finale

no more brain cells for him

“diluc?”

“you’re being honest?”

“of course i am. i’ve liked you ever since you took down that abyss mage with me. i don’t know how i’m expected to not fall for the dark knight hero.”

despite his dislike for the nickname, diluc blushes and you laugh at his small adorable smile

but the next moment it’s as if a switch has been flipped and suddenly his flustered face turns into a look of lust

his hands are on your waist, pulling you close until you can feel his hot breath against your lips

your hand comes up his face, tenderly cupping it and your lips crash

diluc groans against your lips when your other hand gingerly finds his hair and to say the least, you are extremely attracted to the sound of him groaning, low and deep

“come closer,” your plea is almost petulant as your grip on his hair tightens. diluc lifts you into his lap, arms around you

but he suddenly pulls away and it kills him to do so because you are a sight to behold, lips redder than ever, mouth half open, and breath heavy

“what in the fuck—” your dismay is clear as you frown at the concerned expression on diluc’s face, “hey, what’s wrong? did i—”

“why did you give kaeya that gift?”

for a moment you think you must be dreaming because it would be absolutely ridiculous if the man stopped your make-out session just to ask you—

“i mean, why not… me?” diluc’s voice has become small, gaze averted as if he’s scared he messed up

you sigh, bringing both your hands to cup his face, squishing his cheeks slightly to make him look at you

“listen, diluc, i have no feelings for kaeya. he’s just one of my nicer superiors and i wanted to thank him for being understanding. and i meant what i said that day — it genuinely reminded me of how he’s stuck around the favonius headquarters.”

diluc processes what you have to say and then, after a few silent beats:

“he’s only nice to you because he’s into you.”

“diluc, will you please just make out with me?”

you pull him back into a kiss and this time, he returns with more passion, one hand boldly cupping your ass and you can’t help but shiver at the sensation of his warm hand

you begin to reach under his shirt when you realize something

“wait, diluc,” you sit up, twisting to look up at the sky, “we were supposed to stargaze. you seemed so excited about it, you even called it the post-dinner activity.”

diluc caresses your arm as he slowly restores the distance between you, eyes on your lips.

he whispers against the nape of your neck, “i’m sure we can think of another post-dinner activity,” his fingers graze your stomach, “right, kitten?”

[justrandomselfships]

Little steps- my self insert Fic (S/I POV) with a bunch of silly illustrations! Oh did I mention that this involves Kaeya? Well he's the main focus here even though Lisa is mentioned shit ton of times! Might write something for her focus too someday.

I finished it ages ago but I was afraid to post it- I'm not anymore and also✨ it's my birthday ✨

~~

Ever since I joined the knights I decided to write in a diary, it helped me keep track of time. Lisa told me that it can help me in various ways, like for example remembering names of the other knights, or checking my personal progress. Now that I think about it, it was long since I checked my old entries. Nothing interesting happened today anyway so I might as well read some. I don't really remember anything that was going on when I started so I suppose I could refresh my memory.

Today Lisa wanted to introduce me to someone- she probably wanted to help me by looking for training partner for me, however I had to refuse. You probably remember why was that, I got scared of meeting someone new again. I couldn't get that mess on her shoulders when she has so much to do as it is! And there was no way I'd meet them alone it'd be too akward for both of us!

I remember the exact moment I tried to come up with an excuse for future me... It kinda made me giggle how stupid I am sometimes, but let's look at something else...

I've never felt as lonely as I do now, I don’t even know why. I don’t miss anyone nor I ever craved any interactions... But to make that feeling go away I thought about talking to Amber but when I left the house she was talking to Noelle and I got scared to approach them... Instead I decided to sketch something and stay inside for the rest of the day.

I immediately looked at my sketchbook, I don't even have to look inside, I was drawing what's outside my window like always. Maybe I'll find some better memory if I keep looking?

During my patrol I got a bit lost... It was scary... But I wasn't alone, an Adventurer found me... However he got lost too. It was a bit unlucky day since I picked the wrong maps, we also got attacked a few times by monsters. I kinda feel bad for him since he tried his best to cheer me up but I stayed silent. It should've been other way around a knight shouldn't le

Bennett! How could I forget his name when I was writing this? He was such a sweetheart I obviously had to mess it up and make him feel uncomfortable... But I did make up for it! Maybe I'll finally read something positive? I somehow can't remember how exactly that went... Or if I was daydreaming about apologizing?

I decided to bake something for Bennett as thank you and apology for acting so cold towards him. But I had no idea on how to find him... Or what to say... So after thinking for few minutes I decided to talk to Katherine and ask her to give it to him. After "talking" to her I locked myself in my room out of embarrassment, I messed up again. I just said "Bennett" placed my pastries and left. Now I probably won't be able to face her for at LEAST two months.

I cringe at the memory... Gosh now this will keep me up at night for sure... I finally forgot about it and now it'll haunt me.

Wait a second... Did I really not made any progress at all!? I was trying so hard to socialize with others and get out more but I seem to still not be able to do it right. No, it's impossible. I'm good friends with Lisa! So I definitely made any progress... Or is she just so easy to talk to? Time to take a final look at something recent for a change...

Capitan Kaeya Alberich wanted to talk to me outside work... It might not sound like a big deal but somehow I just froze... I wasn't able to respond properly and he probably guessed what I was going to say, not that he ever can't do that... I might be too predictable. Either way I feel bad, my behavior was really disrespectful and I knew better than that to just ignore someone like him. I still have much to learn and I'll need to properly apologize for staying silent.

I only ever failed... There is no mistaking it. Great way to note down progress huh? Too bad there is none.

Think, what do I need to do to finally do better? I am the problem for sure but what do I really need to change? Maybe I should just start observing how others act... After all I never bothered to do that. It might help in one way or another...

Obviously there's only one place where there is a lot of people and I won't look like a total creep if I'll just listen in the conversations and look at random people... It's no other than the tavern. I'm scared to go there alone... But I don't have to!

Lisa would be willing to go right?... Then again I rely on her a bit too much and going out like this could be an opportunity to break the ice with someone else...

Jean is always busy, Amber will be way too distracting and we might end up somewhere else, Eula is too scary, Venti... I don't even know why I'm considering him.

Maybe that offer from capitan Kaeya still stands? It's from bearly 2 weeks ago so maybe if I get lucky and he happens to still be interested, I can actually go...

What am I even thinking!? I didn't even apologize for the last time... But being around so many drunk people is terrifying... However I can't bet on the fact that he won't drink too much... On the other hand he seems to handle people and I'll definitely learn something.

Screw it. It might be scary but I need to do it. Tomorrow I'll ask him! That's for sure! He's the most respectable and trustworthy person who isn't always busy and will not distract me.

~⏳

I'm scared to do it but I have to! I need to... Did I really say that I'm gonna do it today? Or should I just pretend that I never thought of it. He's probably busy today. Yup definitely that no need to feel stressed.

I haven't seen him back at the headquarters nor did I see him around town when I was coming back from my patrol- that's a good sign. It's still pretty early but I don't think that I'll see him today... What a relief!

Before I left the headquarters after finishing some paperwork I hear a voice that belongs to a beautiful librarian I am lucky to be able to call a friend.

"Hey there cutie, are you okay?"

"Just a little bit nervous that's all, nothing new haha"

"Do you need me to pass a message again?"

"No need! It's something I need to say myself..."

"I see..."

"But if you happen to see capitan Kaeya it would be nice if you could tell him that I was looking for him" out of habit I grab my hair and begin to play with it. Lisa's warm soothing voice blessed my ears as she said "No worries darling, I'll let him know" before she left and giggled to herself...

Wait... Oh no.

Why did I say anything!? Is she that magical that I can't say anything but what's on my mind.

If she happens to meet him my request will be unavoidable! Even if I tried thinking of something else Kaeya will know that I'm lying. I can't avoid him either... Can't waste his precious time...

How do I even ask him!? Do I need to change from my work clothes before I go? What should I do...

I didn't realize that I started walking in circles before someone approached me.

"Heather?"

I turn around and see the man I was thinking about all day. Dammit... I have to say it. I can't think of an excuse and staying silent is now unacceptable.

"Oh-uhm... Greetings Capitan Kaeya"

"Lisa informed me that you were looking for me"

"Oh right!... That... Haha..."

"I don't want to rush you, however I do have some business to attend to"

"I'm so sorry! I mean- since you're busy then my silly request is irrelevant"

"Come now, I believe that I should be the judge of that" his smug look made it ever so slightly more challenging to say anything.

"I just... Ugh..." I took a deep breath "Look as you know I was trying to loosen up recently and well I realized that I wasn't making any progress at all. So I remembered that one time you asked me to go to the tavern with you and I refused... I mean ignored you, which I am VERY sorry about but now I think that it was a mistake and today I wanted to ask you to accompany me but since you're busy let's just forget about everything" I felt relieved getting that off my chest.

"I don't think that will do, in fact I was heading towards the tavern so if you really want to I suppose you can join me" Oh right... I forgot about him gathering some information there from time to time. So it might work after all! He won't pay too much attention to me and I could investigate without tons of distractions.

"Let's get going then capitan" I say before he smiles softly in response "Wait do you want to get going now or-"

"Yes" he cut me off, which was fair and I'm glad he did it before I said something dumb.

We're almost there. Before we get closer I suddenly stop.

"That reminds me!" I realized I spoke out loud, as he looked at my direction my confidence dropped dead "I've never actually tried any alcohol so would you be so kind to recommend something for me? I figured that since I'm already getting out of my comfort zone might as well try something new" I said under my breath but he definitely understood what I meant judging by his facial expression and well... response.

"Absolutely" my heart skipped a beat. I desperately tried to start a conversation topic... But choosing alcohol might be something I'll regret...

Kaeya started listing few drinks I could enjoy his words were poetic as he described the beverages, however the names of the drinks went over my head. It wasn't that bad but I just felt stupid over how clueless I was. He definitely knew what he was talking about and I'm more than interested in hearing more. The more he talks the less likely I am to say something I'll regret.

"Obviously since I don't know how much you can handle I won't be forcing you to try too much too soon" he paused "Your father probably wouldn't be happy either if you returned drunk" he said teasingly. It invited me to respond less seriously.

"Oh no! This means that we'll have to do it again, how awful"

"We didn't enter yet so you can feel free to leave now before you regret spending time with me of all people" his voice was now suddenly much more hostile... Did I mess it up!?

He laughed softly "I'm sorry did I go too far? While I don't want to force you to do anything, I won't lie... I'm a bit curious to learn something new about you tonight"

We were still outside standing right in front of the entrance to the tavern if not for chatting we could hear from the inside there would be total silence.

"I'm sorry for being quiet again! It's just that you caught me off guard haha" I look away "There isn't much to know about me so I feel like I'll only disappoint you"

"I'm not so sure about that part"

"Wait... Did my father tell you anything about me!?"

"Look let's just get inside, We'll discuss it later"

Nervously I followed him yet again. The atmosphere was warm and I could see different kinds of people all over the place. We sit down.

"So did he tell you anything?" I ask immediately.

"Relax, he didn't" he seemed amused by my desperation to know. It's understandable... And I'm probably overreacting anyway. I collect my thoughts "I'm sorry"

"What are you sorry for?"

"I'm just making this into some big deal for no reason. Maybe the reason is the huge amount of respect I have for you that makes me freak out"

"I see, well I don't see the reason to be so formal now. We aren't working after all" his soft smile was enough for me to calm down.

"Thank you" Maybe it was all I needed to hear, after that everything went smoothly.

I start feeling proud of myself... Maybe I can change after all? Either way it only shows that I have to write it down! And once I was back home I did just that.

Today I had enough courage to take a step in right direction! I went to a tavern with capitan Kaeya. It was fun and for the first time in years I wasn't that scared. It wasn't totally perfect but it was definitely worth it.