#but Sand leaving or getting hurt because of Ray (?) could be a catalyst

[thatgirl4815]

They would have to do a lot of work for me to believe that Ray could be that affected by Sand that anything to do with him could make him break down that way. But we really do seem to be zooming through the trailer scenes.

Mostly I'm curious how the fighting happens, and in what order. Sand seems more miserable to me in both of those, and with what we're getting so far that makes sense.

The order of the fighting is also a big question for me…I guess it all comes back to just how long it will take Sand’s patience to break. Right now, I think Ray is doing a hell of a job challenging the barriers of their “friendship,” and we see Sand question him about it before ultimately giving in. The puppy dog eyes are working now, but at what point will they seriously have to have a conversation about what their relationship is?

Something I find interesting—Ray and Sand have good communication so far. Even next ep, the preview alludes to some sort of discussion about feelings. They might brush past things now and disguise any true feelings behind the guise of “teasing,” but it hasn’t yet turned into a substantial conflict. I’m really interested to see where and when their issues will arise; will it all be related to Mew? We saw some of that already last ep. While I don’t think Sand will hold that against Ray, I can see a pattern forming that could lead to one of the fights from the trailer.

Might be totally off, but as for me, I’m gonna guess that the fight in the street happens before the fight at Sand’s apartment…they’re both very emotionally charged, but the apartment fight seems to me like something we could expect later on, especially with Sand’s line: “You think I have no dignity?” It feels like a purging of emotions that have been building for awhile.

[gay-dorito-dust]

Deadweight pt 5 (this maybe a long one)

Unfortunately for Vax and fortunately for you, the events of last night were never given time to be brought up again as you were all preoccupied in catching up with Keyleth who was heading towards Pyrah in her eagle form.

By the time you arrived the home of the fire Ashari was the spitting imagine of the vision you received from the Matron of Ravens. However it still rendered you speechless at the unfathomable amount of death and fire that laid in the ruins before you.

“You saw this didn’t you? Why didn’t you tell us? Tell me?” Vax asked when he saw that you had a look of recognition within your eyes.

“As if any of you would’ve believed me.” You scoffed as you bypass him, shoulder checking him in the process.

“I would’ve.” The rouge half elf tried to convince you but was greeted by the unimpressed look upon your face. In that moment you looked dead to Vax just as how he and the rest of vox machina were dead to you.

“That might’ve been the most hilarious thing you have said in a long while but please, spare your falsities for a rainier day.” You retorted, not wanting to get into it with Vax when there was more pressing matters to address. Such as helping Keyleth in helping fend off the weird fiery creatures that were coming out of a portal.

Vax’s frustration towards your innate need to push everyone away seemed to grow daily but he couldn’t blame you. You were right in your anger, in your hurt because he, alongside vox machina did unintentionally ostracised you from everything. Hell they even planned on leaving you stranded in the next town they come across but after everything you’ve been through together, they couldn’t help but get attached to you.

It seemed that it was far too late to make amends on their part, seeing as how you refused even the slightest of help from any of them in favour of sneering at them before walking away from them to sit in the shadows of the nearby trees.

Yes, they were hurt at your actions but your hurt weighed heavier then theirs did and you weren’t willing to compromise in ignoring the long days where you were left in the shadows of their plans because they didn’t trust you enough to not fuck up.

To Vax and to everyone, it seemed that whatever the Matron of Ravens promised you after you defeated the dragons, it was more tempting then anything they could offer in hopes of changing your view on them. The matron took advantage of your need to belong in means of getting herself a new champion, which in turn only made Vax more mad at the deity on your behalf.

“This discussion isn’t over.” He told you just as you were about to split off from the group. Again.

“For you that maybe true but for me it was over before the morning dew settled.” You told him coldly before dashing into Pyrah to aid the scrambling civilians with sound barrier breaking speed.

Vex could tell her brother was distraught and worried sick over you. Why? Because she just as worried for you as he was, Pike, Scanlan, Keyleth and Grog were too. They all were.

You were going down a path they couldn’t follow and that scared them. They couldn’t protect you from the danger if you always kept running head into it. “Give then time brother, death changes a person.” She told Vax but it only made him more frustrated. “We’re loosing them.” He croaked, “they’re slipping away from me like sand grains in a clenched fist and I’m too helpless to stop it.”

Vex wished she could continue to console her brother but the situation in Pyrah was getting worse by the second as they, along with you and the rest of vox machina were summoned to the catalyst of where the fiery demonic looking monsters were oozing out from.

Things only went from bad to worse as the first attempt to closing the portal didn’t work as more monsters came through, Keyleth’s father got hurt as a result of it. But soon enough fate decided to take pity on you and offer a little ray of hope as Keyleth pushed her way through into the fire realm that laid on the other side of the of the portal before managing to save Pyrah.

You stayed yourself away from the group as they talked with Keyleth’s father and began to think of the possible locations of the remaining vestiges were. Tal’dorei was massive and it could take more time then you were given to find them all before the entire land were to be reduced to ash, fire and death.

[hajimesh]

𝗸𝗲𝗲𝗽 𝗺𝗲 𝗶𝗻 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘁

⥅ eren jaeger / 1.8k words

warnings. manga spoilers, fluff and angst, gender neutral reader

a/n. my entry for anilysium's collab, don't forget to check the masterlist !! thank u sm temi for the beta ♡ @thefairywalker

hope is what makes someone hold onto a promise. and that hope it's worse than the broken promise itself.

—

845.

an autumn-like breeze cooled down the summer afternoon, and with the sky barren of any clouds, it was easier for the sun rays to land on those familiar blond strands.

"over there!"

eren's small hand—even though it was big enough to cover yours—wrapped around your wrist before it tugged you through the crowd. your rapid breaths were all you could hear while you mentally prayed to make it on time, just a couple more steps and you would be within reach, already staring at armin’s frightened face which caused your heart to jump. but what finally managed to send you in a state of despair was the sight of eren shoving the bigger kid away.

“what do you think you’re doing, yeager?!”

“are you hurt?” tears gathered at the corners of your eyes while you helped armin up on his feet, you didn’t have to turn around to know eren had received a punch, his pained wail making you flinch.

armin took your hand and together faced the scene before your eyes, holding onto each other's hands while tears dampened your cheeks.

“leave him alone!” the tremble in your voice was obvious, even after multiple fights with those kids it always ended up the same way. armin and you crying in fear for eren and mikasa's safety.

only this time mikasa was nowhere to be seen.

“shut up!” 

“don’t talk to them like that!” with a kick on the shin, eren managed to keep the bully out of commission for a few seconds. but that was enough for your saviour to arrive.

“leave before i call the garrison.”

relief began to relax your tense stance, you all knew that it wasn’t the moment to be wasting their time in a kid’s fight, the shortage of food seemed to worsen each day and keeping the people on a tight leash became harder as the days went by.

the kid seemed to finally realize he wouldn't win this time, so with a scoff he took a couple of steps back, "this isn't over," his annoyed gaze traveled from eren to you, "and try not to piss your pants next time."

the three of you watched him run away while the rush of adrenaline began to wear out on your bodies and gave in to the tiredness. had mikasa not intervened, the outcome would've been way worse.

"hey," eren was the first one to break the silence, turning towards you and landing a hand on your shoulder. unfortunately, the softness in his voice was your catalyst and soon you allowed the distress to overcome you, "oh no, don't cry!"

it was useless to try to get your tears to stop, falling one after another as your chest racked with broken sobs, "i-i'm sorry i couldn't be o-of help!"

armin watched in worry as eren tried and failed to get you to calm down. he could tell you were scared when you confronted the bully, your hold on his hand so tight he feared you would end up hurting yourselves. but even so, you had pulled through your fear and stood your ground, something he admired from you.

with a tug on your shirt, mikasa signaled you to start walking, her impassive yet reassuring gaze letting you know she was there for you.

"let's go home."

—

the warm steam that blew onto your blotchy face felt soothing, the taste of mrs. yeager's freshly brewed tea successfully relaxing the tightness in your chest as it ran down your throat.

you could already feel the tiredness hitting you all at once, begging you to lie down and close your eyes so you could rest your mind after the afternoon's occurrences. but with eren's eyes observing you, you knew you weren't off the hook yet.

"better?"

not trusting your voice, you hummed and smiled behind the cup resting on your lips, sniffling slightly when a flashback of eren being punched on the face appeared on your mind.

however, he didn't seem to be done with the topic.

"why did you stand up to him if you were so scared? you were lucky he didn't go for you." 

"'cause i didn't want him to keep punching you."

"i don't need your help," his tone gave you the wrong impression. were you bothering him? a frown pulled your lips in a wobbly pout but he was quick to realize his error, "i mean, we should focus on armin, right? he's the one always in trouble."

you rocked your feet back and forth, watching them dangle from the chair as you mulled over his words. he wasn't lying, it was armin who often ended up as the victim of those bullies. at least when neither of you were around to aid him.

"i have a plan!" eren suddenly perked up, eyes brimming with excitement and pride as he obviously found his plan a good one, "dad always says that it's his duty to protect mom because they're married. so, if we get married, i can protect you and we can protect armin—together!"

you couldn't help but gasp, "married?! but we are too little!"

"not now, dummy. when we grow up!"

"what if i cry again and can't protect armin?" you voiced out your biggest worry as you pushed the cup away and made room on the table for your arm, resting your chin on top of it after yawning.

"i'll protect all of us," he didn't even hesitate, “and we have mikasa too.”

the silly promise made so much sense to your 10-year-old brain, which is why you held onto the hope and safety it gave you and agreed.

carla yeager squealed the news to her husband once eren and you had fallen asleep.

—

850.

there wasn't a day where you didn't regret not going with them.

the lively days soon became dull without eren and armin’s excited voices as they discussed the fire and icy lands in armin’s book, mikasa’s reassuring presence gone as well. but you knew you wouldn’t make it through the strenuous military training—or at least that was what you had told yourself.

truthfully, you wondered how were they not scared of continuing with their suicide mission of joining the legion, all those sacrifices just to see what was outside the walls. why couldn’t they be happy with what you already had? it wasn’t much, but you had each other, which was more than what most people could say.

with shiganshina gone, you became one of the refugees that lurked in the streets of trost. the conditions to live growing harsher, food and shelter becoming escarse and a luxury, but eren’s promise gave you enough strength to go on with your days until you landed a job as a waitress at a pub. 

you missed them, all of them.

their names flew from the mouths of the military police and other higher ups that passed by, making you wonder what they were up to. however, when news spread about eren’s abilities to shift into one of those creatures, that old sense of worry shook you to your very core.

was he hurt? mikasa wouldn't let anyone lay a finger on him, but what if they separated them?

multiple scenarios ran through your head, many of them not so pleasing and only worsening your nerves. but if their names kept coming up in the authorities’ conversations after each and every mission, then it meant they were still alive.

unfortunately, all you could do was pray for their well-being and silently beg them to return.

—

854.

after years of not hearing his voice, it took you several seconds to recognize it.

“where– where are we? why–”

“you’ve changed,” his tone was soft yet hints of curiosity sept through as he marveled at you, “you look older..." prettier, he wanted to say.

having spent so many years without the intensity of his gaze, you realized you had grown unused to it, “you’ve changed too.”

it seemed like everyone had disappeared, except for you and him. dunes of fine sand slithered under your feet and a bright light illuminated the starry sky, converging by the horizon and causing his green eyes to shine in a way you had never seen before.

“eren… what’s all this?”

one moment you were surrounded by chaos, people screaming while an army of colossal titans walked south and eren declared war against the rest of the world; and the next it all had gone quiet, a man—eren—standing next to you while holding your hand.

"they will pay, and then we will be free," his thumb rubbed the skin on the back of your hand gently.

you caught the way his gaze hardened for a second, rage clear in his features but what confused you the most was the amount of hurt swirling in his eyes.

​​what did he mean by 'they'? you were aware of marley's feelings towards the eldians but was it truly that bad? there were so many questions you wanted to ask, but something told you that you didn’t have enough time so you chose to stick to the most important ones. 

“how's mikasa? armin... is it true? he’s the colossal now?”

eren pulled you closer to him by tugging on your hand, cradling the side of your face with his free hand as a smile took over his lips.

"mikasa's busy kicking everyone's asses," he joked and you couldn't help but laugh, relieved at the sudden lightness in his voice. your eyes closed briefly when he leaned forward and rested his forehead against yours, licking his lips before continuing, "armin... yeah, he's the colossal. looks like i need to find another excuse to marry you, hm?” 

you found it unfair how after almost a decade, he could still hold such a power over your heart, the butterflies in your stomach feeling worse than what you recalled.

“you remember?”

he didn't miss the hope in your tone, his own heart aching at the thought of you assuming he had forgotten about your existence. there wasn't a day where he hadn't wondered about your well-being, were you safe? had a titan stole your life just like they had done with his mom? it was armin and mikasa who consoled him whenever the intrusive thoughts became too much to his already stressed mind.

“i never forgot.”

it was subtle, the way that kids promise evolved into a lifetime vow—but neither of you minded.

“i need you to promise me one more thing," he murmured, his breath fanning over your lips while your own faltered at his proximity.

“you’re leaving again,” it wasn't a question.

“i have to.”

it pained him to no end, but it had to be done. the warmth of his lips touched your forehead, your cheeks, and lips; staying longer on the latter while your hearts synchronized for a moment, sharing years worth of affection.

"stay here, on the island. find somewhere safe to stay until it all ends.”

a mere murmur on your lips, that was all it took to harm your hopeful soul.

"and don't wait for me."

[ywnyfm]

The Catalyst

I hang on tightly as my legs dangle in the air beneath your belly. I should have held on stronger, longer. I should have put more thought into the action instead of diving on. Here we are. Weightless and worry-free. The baggage of our past selves left in a station we never stopped at. Always taking flight. Always leaving things behind. Mostly each other. But not recently. It's been everything but. It's the pleasure and the problems left behind long ago. It's the pieces of who we've been, disconnected and falling apart. I only notice when it hurts. When the pluck is just enough to pinch the skin. The rest of the feathers, I don't even care about. In those moments of pain, I can't help but wonder. Were those pieces I should have tried to keep? Am I shedding the old or shedding everything? Too tired of reminding me of myself. Too tired of being reminded of anything. I watch the memories falling, piece by piece. Briefly re-living those moments. Even the good memories brought nothing but pain. We can only exist in a whole with no emotion. Though, we'd be long gone from each other's lives if the world lacked emotion. It's all we have. All we've always had. Logic is nowhere to be found. Every time we try to bring in a third person, it just gets awkward, am I right? But I am. I am also wrong. As we all are. There's something more than us. Any of us. Little or big. Important or meaningless. Everything is meaningless because purpose hasn't really found us yet. We're waiting. Still waiting for the day it all starts to make sense. Giving up hope and drawing conclusions that a day like such will never exist. Maybe so. But are either of us willing to let go of the chance to win the lottery? It may hurt to stay invested, but to disengage would mean nothing. You would feel nothing, from now until the lights go out. A vacant existence, checked-out of the hotel that's paid in advance. Where's the logic in that? You're best to turn around, open that suitcase and make yourself comfortable. Some vacation, am I right? It's like there's nothing to see or do around these parts. Not anymore. The lights used to shine so brightly. The voices rang throughout the cities. Now it's desert sand stuck in the bottom of your shoes no matter how far you try to walk away from where you've come from. You're not making sense anymore. But does it matter? Did you ever really make sense? In those moments of clarity, was there anyone listening? Could anyone help to guide you back to the places you took flight and the lights and the smiles and the warmth? Would anyone bother? It's hard to care about someone who doesn't care about themselves. I wish you would see that. Invest more into who you are. Your dreams and goals and the endless ideas that flow like the Northern Lights in your mind. You don't see the colors anymore. It's sad. We all think so.

But, we can still see the lights. The dust that was left behind. Every once in a while, a ray will pop into the blackness and shoot the greens and blues around the waiting skies. The lights aren't gone, not dimmed. They are just stuck taking refuge behind the dark clouds that have affected everything you think about. Each of us, friend or foe, the letters and the words and the ideas and the masterpieces...We're all together and cheering for you. We're all praying those clouds to go away. We want to open your soul and let the darkness scamper away, trying to find somewhere else to hide inside. Your mind was never meant to get so dark. One light went out and they all seemed to take it as a cue. You need to shake it off. We'll try to help you. Not a clue where to guide you back to what matters most, but the willingness to be there while you figure it out for yourself. You're only limited by what you allow to stand in your way. There's nothing else stopping you. Not depression. Not the medication or the lack of certain ones. Not drinking. Not the lack of drinking. None of these are more than self-imposed barriers to keep you from succeeding. And what are you afraid of? What is the worst thing that could happen? You know you can spread your wings and take to the air, yet you don't. We see it as the worst has already happened. You've given up. Nothing you do now could possibly be more of a failure than the nothing you've been doing. Showing any sign of life would be a start. You're so prone to repeat the verses you already know. They don't even apply to your life now, but you're trying to find a way to fix the old pieces into the new puzzle. This is the challenge we've put out for you. We want you to see that it's not all the time. There are natural ends to cycles and there are moments you have to put your foot through the barrier and break it yourself. You'll see... These pieces are perfect. A perfect fit for you and to each other. They are the start of something greater than you, or any of us. You can't dance around this obstacle. You can't use the old tricks on a new problem. You're going to have to get creative and come up with a new solution. You're going to have to come out of the shell you've built yourself and learn to face your problems. You're not a bird, disregarding the pieces that fall. You are the bird carrying that bird. You are strong. You are supportive. You are holding onto a part of yourself that needs to let go. It's time. Set her free and walk away from a life of puzzles that don't fit together. Ignore the Rubix cube on the shelf that took so many years to put together. Ignore the smiling faces of every fake friend that will rise to greet the new you. None of them were there to teach you or guide you in the right direction. You took what you needed when and where. There is no room in the future for past weaknesses.

The catalyst has spoken. It's your turn to listen