#but Peter is most likely a sleep deprived Gen-Z

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[UPDATE: MINOR EDITS MADE] this was fun! sorry for not posting anything lately, am working on my Danny Phantom comics. i have 31 drafts tho so slowly will be posting those (Irondad, Danny Phantom [+Batfam] and Detective Conan ficlets!)

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Mr. Parker-Stark.

———

“I like to think that I average only 3 stabs a month,” Peter huffed out.

“Liar, liar, pants on fire!“ Tony sang in response, seated beside his kid.

“You don’t get to say a word about this!” Peter snapped back, pointing at the cast on Tony’s leg with a sharp smile.

Tony sniffed and simply looked down at the cards he held, shuffling them a bit.

“When he knows he’s lost, he goes quiet,” Peter whisper-shouts at Haya, who was slowly getting over the shock of Oh my God that is Tony Stark and his son/mentee/cousin/whatever the tabloids picked this month.

“You have kids, right? Two boys?” Tony intercepted as he nodded his head towards Haya, who blinked out of her stupor of Oh my God Tony Stark is talking to me (that’s how interviews work Haya!)

Not even giving a thought as to how he knew this, Haya let the fondness wash over her at the mention of her sons; she replied, “Yeah, one in 1st grade and the other in 10th,”

“Do you get disrespected like this often, or should I look for my receipt?” Tony casually asked as he gestured with his hand in a vague motion.

Haya chuckled as Peter squawked in indignation, “Receipt? Receipt?! What am I? A Teflon stainless steel pots-pans set?!”

“That would’ve been more useful to me than you currently,” Tony swiftly bit back.

“Oh yeah, sure, cause pots can talk and do an interview with you, sure,” Peter grumbled back, sarcasm almost tangible.

“Peter, if you’re going to drop the ‘Miss’, at least call me Pepper, not my last name,” Oh my God Pepper Potts chided in with a smirk from the sidelines.

Peter groaned as Tony let out a snort, “That was a terrible pun, Pep. You’re hanging around Sera too much,”

“Even I wouldn’t have made that pun” Peter chipped in with mock disappointment, “and that’s a low standard, Ms. Potts,”

Lighting cuffing Peter on the back of his head, Tony read out the next card - cards he had stolen from Haya aka their interviewer.

“In a game of monopoly, what is the other like?“

The temperature of the room plummeted.

Haya shivered as Peter gave a tight smile, “Dr. Stark is a sore, sore loser,”

Tony whipped his head at him as he snapped back, “You’re one to talk! You evade your taxes like it’s going to kill you if you pay your rent!”

“Y’know what?! It just might!”

“You owe me 1,200 Monos!”

“And you refuse to give up the utility cards!”

“I’m trying to win!”

“So am I!”

“PAY YOUR DAMN RENT!”

“AFTER I GET MY ELECTRICITY UTILITY BACK!”

“PETER BENJAMIN PARKER-STARK I-“

Silence.

“I did not mean to say that- wait-“ Tony rushed to defend himself, as Pepper let her head thump forward on the table in front of her.

Peter’s lower lip trembled visibly as he stared wide-eyed at Tony. Haya pulled out her popcorn from under her chair and began munching.

Tony pursed his lips as he refused to make eye-sight with Peter, “Sorry cucciolo, I didn’t-“

Peter took in a shivering breath, “. . . .Dad?”

Cough!

Haya mentally cursed at herself as she coughed more after choking on her popcorn. Oh my God she interrupted them.

———

“I deeply apologize, sir, ma’am! Things really got out of hand,” Haya anxiously said to Dr. Stark and Ms. Potts, who shook their heads in response.

“Honestly, this was a tame interview, Ms. Nabeel,” Ms. Potts re-assured, “Peter is a sweetheart but also a theatrical kid,”

“I need to apologize to him as well,” Haya noted.

“Nah, if anything he’ll apologize to you,” Dr. Stark replied languidly, “kids can be little sh**s when they want to be,”

“Ms. Nabeel!” came a shout from nearby, as Peter rushed in after he left briefly for the toilet.

“I’m so sorry that I accidentally caused you choke on your popcorn-“ Peter began, waving his hands around, “-Like, you were just enjoying it and-“

“Mr. Parker-Stark, it’s okay!” Haya rushed out, trying to get the frantically gesturing boy to relax, “I’m fine, now!”

“Still…” Peter mumbled back.

“Welp, we better be on our way,” Tony clapped his right hand on Peter’s shoulders, leaning on his left side holding the crutch, “Lotsa meetings-“

“-That you don’t attend,” Pepper chipped in, as she placed her hand on Peter’s shoulders, “Thank you again, Ms Nabeel. Of course, send in the video before posting it so our team can look over it,”

“Bye Ms. Nabeel!” Peter smiled at her before letting himself be guided by his parents. Haya’s eyes crinkled as she thought of her own sons, her eldest would get along with Peter…

“Bye-bye Mr. Parker-Stark!” Haya called out back.

———

“You called me cucciolo, how bad did you feel?” Peter questioned once they got comfortable in the car.

“Ms. Nabeel called you Mr. Parker-Stark twice and you don’t bat an eyelash?” Tony replied with a raised brow.

“You only call him that when you feel bad for something,” Pepper seemed to be in thought for a moment, “or when you’re extra soft,”

“I’m not soft,” Tony grumbled back in discontent, “I’m prickly, poisonous thorns and the whole shebang,”

“Like a cactus?” Peter responded half a second later.

“I was thinking ivy or a rose,” Tony responded.

Peter nodded solemnly.

“You still owe me 1,200 Monos, kid,”

Pepper pushed herself away from Tony.

With a snarl, Peter launched himself.

Happy sighed as a battle-cry rang out….this was going to be a bumpy ride.

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Edits: Mr. Stark -> Mr. Parker-Stark. Otherwise just punctuation fixes. I think it fits better (:

@irondadmadlads ! I hope this was fun and worth the time it took to read this, readers! I’ll do my best to reply to comments. Reblogs and likes are very much appreciated.

Sera makes a cameo from my other irondad ficlet! She will be popping up more (:

Irondad Prompt #27:

Tony: PETER BENJERMIN PARKER-STARK I- …wait

Peter:

Tony:

Peter: Dad?