#but I've rarely had the time to touch myself let alone my writing

[sporco-filth]

Hi Sproco! It’s 🫃 Guy anon from that other blog. I thought you’d want to know that I love your stories and your work inspires me to be slobbier each day.

this is possibly the best compliment you could give me, especially because I've enjoyed reading the asks you send to secretlygross

(I am also really sorry I've been too busy to write but things are starting to get less stressful now. hopefully in the next week or so I'll have time.)

[greenxgloss]

MYG Boyfriend HCs

Just wanted to write a little something to welcome myself into the myg/bts side of the internet so here are little HCs (all important links and such will be at the bottom of this post along with a few important updates about my account)

Smut, please minors don't interact (18+)

Min Yoongi who is shy and introverted in public, but when the two of you are alone, he is playful and verbally and physically stims

His most common stim is chewing on your ear lobe or rubbing his lips with his thumb

Min Yoongi who gets you gifts and gives them to you without saying a word

sometimes he just - "here take this." avoiding your eyes and holding his hand out with the gift he got you

Min Yoongi who's love language is acts of service but doesn't make it obvious

"Baby, can you peel this pomagranat for me?" you'd ask him, holding out for him. He'd sigh really hard like he was annoyed and take it from you, and then about 20 minutes later, no less, he'd place a Tupperware of the perfectly peeled pomegranate in front of you and give you a rough kiss on the forehead before returning to whatever he was doing.

Min Yoongi wrote songs about you before you started dating. Before you even knew he liked you actually.

He never played them for you (or anyone) until he finally decided he was going to release them.

Min Yoongi, who again, without a word, will come up and cuddle you

He'll come up in complete silence, carefully take your phone out of your hands and put it away before crawling into your arms and holding you close

Min Yoongi, who prefers being little spoon.

He's exhausted really often after work and prefers to be held, craddled. "Just play with my hair a little," always had you cooing with the requests he'd make, wording them as if he thought he was asking for too much

Min Yoongi who always knows what you wants wether its food, clothes, the music you wanna play or even when you're too shy to make a move on him

Smut MYG boyfriend HCS

Min Yoongi who has an oral fixation therefore not only would he stim, touching, biting and licking his lips but when he's horny he'll do the same with yours especially if you have piercings

He likes eating you out, too. not even always because he wants to make you cum but because it gives his mouth something to do

He likes the way you taste and could lay for hours between your thighs

"Mmmggh baby, please. I'm so sensitive it hurts," you whined, squirming under him, but his arms would lock around your thighs tighter just before letting up and crawling up to do the same to your lips and kiss you for hours

Min Yoongi who likes biting you, gently and hard enough to leave a mark. This includes hickies, and he will bite anywhere

Min Yoongi who drags out foreplay, well, you weren't sure if he was dragging out foreplay or just teasing you.

he loves just peppering kisses everywhere and letting his hands roam wherever they wanted or playing with your tits, maybe sucking them

Min Yoongi, who preferred giving rather than receiving but some days was into your whole humiliation kink and would let it run wild

Min Yoongi can't do quickies. yoongi takes way too long to cum so its rare when you get him worked up enough to want a quickie

He prefers taking his time with you, working you up enough through multiple rounds to squirt or cry out of overwhelming pleasure

Min yoongi who is horny for you all the time

Min Yoongi, who takes his time to be thorough with aftercare

He jokes with you, cleans you up, makes sure you feel safe and comfortable and even makes you food after because he knows how hungry you get

Min Yoongi who mindlessly cups your tits in his sleep when he spoons you

so! i've decided to change around the theme of my account slowly but surely like instead of gifs and shit I'm doing this with pics I don't really know wtf to call this or what I'm going I just lowk miss editing my own covers and this from when I used to write on wattpad so here we go lmfao. please let me know if you guys want me to make separate masterlists for the people and characters I write for! again please look at my yoongi masterlist to see what that would look like. i plan on also writing for Gdragon and if you wanna be tagged in any future works fill out the taglist (which I've edited so if you've already filled it out you'll have to fill it out again)

➽ Taglist form ➽ Main Masterlist ➽ Yoongi Masterlist

[awkward-walking-potato]

Hi, can I ask something with Logan where the reader is upset with themselves because everything they do or say, even in good fate, turns out wrong or the situation gets worse. Logan knows that they meant well so he tries his best to comfort them.

I hope I've made myself clear, English is not my first language.

Feel free to ignore this ask if you don't like this idea, but thank you if you write it💕

The day had gone from bad to worse. It seemed like every time you tried to help, things just spiraled further out of control. It started with the morning’s training session, where you’d suggested a different approach to help one of the newer students with their powers. You meant well, but the suggestion backfired, and the student’s confidence took a hit instead of improving.

Then, during lunch, you offered to help Jean in the kitchen, thinking it would lighten her load. But somehow, your attempt to help ended with the oven catching fire—something you didn’t even know was possible with an oven that barely required turning on. By the time you’d managed to get everything under control, Jean had reassured you that it was fine, but you still felt awful.

As the day wore on, your missteps piled up. A few misspoken words caused tension between two friends, a forgotten task led to a delay in the day’s lesson plan, and by the time evening rolled around, you were feeling utterly defeated.

You tried to retreat to your room, hoping to avoid any further disasters, but it seemed like fate wasn’t quite done with you yet. You nearly collided with Logan in the hallway, the last person you wanted to see when you were feeling this low.

“Whoa, easy there,” Logan said, steadying you with a hand on your shoulder. He took one look at your face and frowned. “You alright?”

You shook your head, unable to find the words. The day’s events played over and over in your mind, each one a reminder of how badly you’d messed up. You couldn’t hold back the tears any longer, and they spilled over before you could stop them.

“I just… I keep messing everything up,” you managed to say, your voice thick with frustration and self-reproach. “All I wanted to do was help, but I keep making things worse. It’s like everything I touch turns to disaster.”

Logan’s frown deepened, but there was no anger or disappointment in his eyes—only concern. “Come on,” he said gently, guiding you toward the nearby lounge. “Let’s sit down for a minute.”

You let him lead you to the worn leather couch, sinking into the cushions with a heavy sigh. Logan took a seat beside you, close enough that you could feel the warmth radiating from him.

“Start from the beginning,” he said, his tone calm and steady. “What happened?”

You recounted the events of the day, each mistake feeling like a fresh wound as you spoke. Logan listened quietly, his expression unreadable, but his presence alone was enough to keep you from breaking down completely.

When you finished, you wiped at your eyes, feeling drained and embarrassed. “See? I just make everything worse. Maybe I should stop trying so hard…”

Logan was silent for a moment, his gaze fixed on the floor as if deep in thought. Then, he turned to look at you, his expression softening in a way that was rare for him.

“Listen,” he began, his voice gruff but laced with a kind of rough warmth. “You didn’t mean for any of that to happen. You were just tryin’ to help, right?”

You nodded, biting your lip to keep from crying again. “But I still messed everything up.”

“Yeah, well, stuff happens. Even when you’re doin’ your best. But that doesn’t mean you’re a screw-up.” Logan leaned back, running a hand through his unruly hair. “Hell, I’ve messed up plenty of times myself. Done things that went sideways even when I thought I was doin’ the right thing. But that doesn’t make you a bad person. It just means you’re human.”

“But everyone else…” you started to say, but Logan cut you off with a wave of his hand.

“Everyone else knows you meant well. You think Jean’s mad about the oven? She knows you were just tryin’ to help. And the student you were helpin’? They’ll bounce back. You’ll get another shot to help ‘em out.”

You sniffled, trying to process his words. “But what if I keep messing up?”

Logan let out a low chuckle, surprising you. “Then you keep trying. You learn from it and try again. No one here expects you to be perfect—not even me.”

The sincerity in his voice touched you in a way you hadn’t expected. Logan wasn’t the type to offer comforting words easily, but when he did, they hit home.

“You got a good heart, and that counts for somethin’,” Logan continued, his gaze locking onto yours. “You care about people, and you wanna do right by them. That’s more important than getting everything perfect. So stop beatin’ yourself up over this.”

You managed a small smile, feeling the weight on your chest lighten just a bit. “Thanks, Logan. I needed to hear that.”

He nodded, as if it was no big deal. But the way he was looking at you, with that rare mix of understanding and reassurance, told you that he meant every word.

“Now, how about we get outta here for a bit? You’ve had a rough day. Maybe we can go for a walk, clear your head.”

You hesitated for a moment, but the idea of getting some fresh air—and spending a bit more time with Logan—was too appealing to pass up. “Yeah, I’d like that.”

As you stood up, Logan placed a hand on your shoulder again, giving it a reassuring squeeze. “You’re doin’ fine, you know that? Don’t let one bad day make you think otherwise.”

With Logan by your side, you felt a newfound sense of determination. Maybe you wouldn’t get everything right all the time, but that didn’t mean you weren’t making a difference. And as long as you had people like Logan around to remind you of that, you knew you’d be okay.

[lainiespicewrites]

Dreamless sleep

I mentioned in a reblog a few days ago that I sometimes write little oneshots about Henry to comfort myself when shit situations happen. Well I left work today and my car wouldn't start and... I've been struggling with remembering something really difficult that happened to me and I needed a comfort fic. This is that.... I don't normally post them but I wanted to share this one.

Warnings: Mentions of SA possible trigger.

summary: waking up from a nightmare and having a rough day. Henry is always there to help.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I watched the door shake.  The man on the other side determined to break in.  If he got through, he was going to hurt me again. Not that he would ever admit it. My attacker had spent just moments before trying to convince me I had asked for it. Like what he did to me was nothing more than him fulfilling my desires. Bile rose in the back of my throat from the thought. 

“Go away, Luke! I told you I won’t say anything to anyone! Just leave me alone!” But he didn’t stop. I watched the door knob turn as I looked around my childhood bedroom searching for something to barricade the door. Trying to find anything to keep him out. My strength would not hold much longer. One more shove and he would be inside. I wouldn’t be able to escape him. Just like the last time. As I’m reaching for a chair to press against the door, I stumble. I fall to the floor and the door swings open… 

I woke with a start shooting straight up gasping for breath. My heart was racing and I let out a whimper as my eyes adjusted to the darkness. I flinched as I felt a gentle hand touch my hip. 

“Darling it’s me, it’s okay.” Henry’s soothing voice broke through my panic. It was a dream. Only, a dream. I swallowed hard and looked out the window. It was storming, the sky was still gray, I looked over at the clock 6:25 my alarm was about to go off, 

“Sorry, go back to sleep baby, it was just a bad dream. I’m okay.” I assured him. Henry sat up. He wrapped his arms around me from behind and placed a soft kiss on my head. 

“You’re sure? He asked, “Do you want to talk about it?” I shook my head. I hadn’t told him about what happened to me. And as far as I was concerned he didn’t need to know. It was in the past. I was fine. It was rare that I had these dreams. 

“No bear, It was silly, just go back to sleep, I need to get up and get ready,” I told him. He took in a deep breath. He still held me close for a moment before hesitantly letting go of my waist. 

“Alright, love,” When I got out of bed I turned and kissed him softly. He looked so tired. He’d gotten back so late from set. I hate that I’d woken him up. 

“I’ll see you later,” I smiled. He sat up giving me another kiss. 

“Have a good day baby,” He said. I slipped out of my bedroom and took a quick shower. I quickly got dressed for the office and left. I picked up a coffee on the way to work. I splashed some on my shirt leaving a small stain. It wasn’t completely obvious but I knew it was there. This would happen today I hate Mondays. Things were in full swing, actually, busy. When I got there. I sat down and tried to focus on my work. But I couldn’t get anything done. All I could think about was that dream. 

Lunch rolled around and I realized I’d left it at home. I didn’t want to bother Henry. He hadn’t had a day to himself in a while. So I was just going to pick something up. I ran to the little convenience store down the road and got a little snack. It was much but it would hold me over until the end of the day. 

The rest of the day was so busy. So many emails and the work just kept piling up. It was non-stop. I was so ready to get back to my place and spend the evening with Henry. I walked out to my car and put the key in the ignition and… it didn’t start. I tried it again… nothing. How could this happen? It ran perfectly fine on lunch. God, I was just tired and hungry and I want to get home! I’ve spent the whole day reminded of this terrible thing I’d gone through, and now this? Today sucked! I sighed and pulled out my phone. I was going to have to call Henry. I tapped his name and the phone rang. After the second ring, he picked up. 

“Hey, babe, you on you’re way back?” He asked. I sighed again. 

“No,” I said flatly. “My car won’t start I don’t know what’s wrong, the engine won’t even try to turn over.” I rambled. I could hear myself starting to hyperventilate. 

“Slow down, breathe. I’ll be right there.” He promised. In 10 minutes he was pulling up next to my car. We tried to jump it but that did nothing. I sighed and slammed the door. “Whoa, hey, it’s gonna be alright we’ll get it fixed, love,” Henry said grabbing my shoulders gently and making me face him. I felt my lip start to wobble. I didn’t want him to see me cry. In all honesty, we hadn’t been together that long. He hadn’t seen me break down and I wasn’t ready for him to. What if I was too much? What if he didn’t want me anymore?

“I-i’m sorry, today has just been… stressful. I was looking forward to getting home and spending time with you.” I said. 

“And you’re going to, we’ll leave the car here I’ll have it looked at in the morning. Let's get back and relax my love.” Henry drove us home. I shuffled inside, quickly changing into comfy clothes. After spending a while trying to fix the car it had gotten a bit late so we decided to order in. Henry ordered dinner while I got cozy on the couch. We ate our Chinese takeout and binged a new Netflix series. My mind wandered not fully paying attention. Getting lost in the dream from this morning. I was staring blankly at a spot on the wall, I didn’t hear Henry say my name. He shook my shoulder and I yelped. His brow raised and his eyes filled with concern, and something that almost looked like hurt. 

“What’s going on with you today love?” He asked. I snapped. 

“What do you mean? Nothings going on everythings fine!” I said. He sat back looking at me from a sideways glance. 

“You’ve been on edge all day,” He stated. 

“You haven’t even been with me all day,” I rolled my eyes. 

“Is something bothering you?” He asked. I groaned. 

“Fucking hell, would you just drop it Henry? I told you, I’m fine!” I shouted. Henry ran a hand through his hair and groaned in frustration. 

“I’m just trying to help,” He sighed. 

“Yeah, well I didn’t ask, I’m not some helpless damsel you need to save!” I argued. 

“I never said that!” he groaned. “But you’ve been stressed since you woke up this Morning.” He stated. 

“So?” I deflected, clearly agitated.  

So… who’s Luke?” He asked his voice calm. My stomach dropped. How did he know that name?

“I don’t know what your talking about…” I said shifting my eyes to the floor. 

“Alayna, when you were having your nightmare, you… said his name, asking him to stop. Who is he?” He asked again. I swallowed hard. I kept my eyes on the floor hidingn the tears that had started to well up. 

“No one, must’ve just been a name my brain came up with.” I lied. 

“Come on,” he pleaded. “I know you don’t think I’m that stupid.” He said. I looked up at him, eyes meeting his. He was hurt. Hurt that I was shutting him out. 

“I don’t think you’re stupid at all, I just… don’t want you to think I … to think less of me.” I sniffled. Henry brushed my hair out of my face and brushed his thumb across my cheek. 

“Talk to me, I want to understand.” He said. “Whatever is, I just want to help you,” he stated. I nodded. 

“He… is…was a friend of my brothers.” I started. “They were friends since they were kids, I new him since I was a baby.” I explained. Henry nodded. Keeping his hand on my back silently supporting me. I went on. “I thought I could trust him. I was so naive. He always seemed like a good guy. He came to town to celebrate my brothers birthday. And they came back drunk. He woke me up. Because he wanted to say hi. I got up to talk with them and when we went back to bed he… got into my bed. I thought he was joking at first. I thought he was gonna leave.” I looked at Henry. His face was calm, but I knew that he knew what I was going to say. I didn’t miss the anger in his eyes. But he stayed quiet. Letting me get it all out. “He was like a brother to me. I-I don’t know how he could touch me like that. But… I couldn’t do anything. It was wrong, it was so wrong but I was like frozen with fear or shock I don’t know. I know that I told him no. Once. something he wanted to do … I finally was able to find my voice but. It didn’t matter. The next morning he acted like nothing happened. I never said anything. I never pressed charges…nothing. It was years ago. In my dream I confronted him. He told me I couldn’t prove it. He wouldn’t own up to it. I yelled at him. And he tried to convince me I wanted it.. And he…he tried to come after me again.” I cried. Henry quickly wrapped me up in his arms pulling me into him. “That’s when I woke up.” I said.  I cried against Henry’s shoulder while he held me. He gently cooed in my ear as if consoling a baby. But it helped. It was the comfort I needed. The shoulder to cry on I never really had. He was quiet for a while. Letting me have this moment and then. 

“You know, none of that, is your fault.” He said. His voice soft. 

“But I.. let him.” I said. His jaw ticked. Trying to remain calm for me. 

“No, he may not have been violent or mean or angry. But he still forced you. He was bigger than you. You had no choice. But to let him do what he wanted. I can’t imagine the pain you’ve felt carrying this for so long. But I won’t let you do it alone anymore.” He said. 

“You don’t have to,” I sniffed. 

“The bastard is lucky he’s still breathing. He may not live anywhere near you but if he ever comes within a mile of you he’s a dead man.” He growled. 

“I’m sorry, about…” I started staring at the ground. 

“Look at me,” He cupped my face pulling my eyes back to his. “ I don’t care about some little argument. Or a stressful evening. I care about your wellbeing, your safety, and your peace of mind. There may not be much we can do about what happened. But I can help you feel safer, I can help you feel protected. That’s what matters. Let me care for you. Don’t be too proud to let me help you.” he pleaded.  I nodded. I was exhausted. Today had been so hard. I didn’t have the energy to be guarded anymore. 

“Okay,” I said. 

“You need rest love, you look exhausted.” He said softly. I nodded laying my head against his shoulder. Henry carried me to bed and I immediately curled myself around him. He smiled softly. 

“As long as I breathe. He will never, get to you,” He said softly. I nodded my breathing slowly as I listened to his heart beat. Henry softly stroked my hair and I felt my eyes lids get heavy. 

“Get some sleep darling, I’ll be right here,” he promised. My eyes closed and everything faded to black. And for the first time in a long time. I had a dreamless sleep. I was safe. Now. Truly safe. I didn’t have to fight this alone.

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I don't feel like this is my best work but it is honest... I'm gonna add my taglist here but you so don't have to read it! if you do thank you! It's just away of me getting all my emotions out. Y'all are like my online emotional support group <3

@foxyjwls007

@enchantedbytomandhenry

@summersong69

@carrie80reads 

@identity2212 

@caramariehurst 

@redheadrouge 

@warriormirkwood  

@gummydummy19 

@deandoesthingstome

 @shellyshellshell

@mary-ann84 

@starfirewildheart 

@henryownsme

@mollymal

@wa-ni

@toooldforobsessions

@pono-pura-vida

@Chloeforde

@liecastillo

@mrsevans90

@evie-119

@margauxmargaux07

@thearcana-moonlight

@secretdream2

@wtfdudesblog

@juliaorpll78

@nothingbettertosay81

[slayfics]

HEY since u said it was alright to request, I've been thinking about something for a While and i rlly like angst but i dont know if u rlly write that, I've only seen a bit in the muichiros mansion chapters, but i can rarely find the type of mui angst i want but basically its something like mui leaving us or something like that, IDK JS HEARTBREAKING ANGST IG😰😰 bc i love the pain and suffering once i see angst of a character leaving🫶🫶

HAVE A GREAT DAY/NIGHT<333 TYSM

Muichiro breaks up with you.

You felt all the tension you had been caring for day finally release at receiving a crow from Muichiro. Ever since you heard of the upper demons attacking Swordsmith Village where Muichiro was you had not got a minute of sleep.

Finally not only was he safe, but healed as well. You had missed him dearly when he was gone and you felt butterflies in your stomach when you read his letter.

His letter indicated he wanted to talk to you as soon as possible about something extremely important. You made your way over to the usual spot you and Muichiro spent time together. A comfortable spot under a shady tree by the lake.

It filled your heart with joy just knowing you’d be in his company soon. You wanted nothing more than to let him know how dear he really was to you.

It wasn’t that you didn’t know how dangerous being a demon slayer was before, but when hearing he was up against an upper demon reality harshly set in. Any day it was possible that the two of you would be spending your last moments together.

You were beginning to get lost in thought when Muichiro arrived and sat down next you.

“Tokito!” You exclaimed and tightly embraced the Hashira.

“Hello…” he said, remaining still and not returning your affections in any way. This made your heart sink. Was something wrong?

“I’m sorry, I suppose I should have asked how you were healing first,” you said carefully letting go of the Hashira.

“Oh my body is healed… but I’m not quite myself yet,” he said, cryptically.

“Is everything ok? What happened in the village?” You asked hastily, concern overflowing from you.

“Well it appears I’ve recovered all my memories,” Muichiro said gently placing a hand on his head.

“Tokito, that’s wonderful!” You exclaimed with a big grin. However, the Hashira demeanor remained unpleasant.

“Yes and no…” he said, zoning off. You stayed silent hoping for him to elaborate. “The memories I recovered weren’t pleasant ones…”

You searched for comforting words but nothing came to mind other than, “Tokito, I’m so sorry.”

“No you see I am here to apologize,” he said, turning to face you. “What I uncovered has been more than I can process… you see it is a burden all on its own and… I don’t think I can effectively maintain our relationship while I go through this.” He said, watching you carefully.

You felt as though time had stopped. You searched his eyes hoping to see some indication that this was a joke. However, the Hashira’s eyes were as stern as ever. You tried to speak but it felt as though the air had been ripped out of your lungs.

“T-Tokito- I can help,” you muttered, pitifully as tears formed in your eyes.

“I appreciate your concern but you see… this is something I wish to go through on my own.” He said, gently grabbing your hand. “Please do not be sad, you’ve done nothing wrong. You’re a magnificent person. I hope you understand.”

You searched for words but nothing came. What were you supposed to say? If he wanted to be alone then that was the end of the conversation, wasn’t it? You looked down at his hand holding yours and hot anger flashed through you. How dare he touch you while he’s ripping your heart in two. You forcefully pulled your hand back.

Muichiro winced in response. He knew you’d be hurt but seeing it now was too much to handle. He had enough trauma to process and he was already overflowing with pain.

“I respect your decision, but I don’t understand.” You finally spat your anger getting the best of you. “You have a lot to process, that’s fair, but I could have supported you through that. Nothing is easier alone, Tokito.”

“Everyone processes things differently,” he said pleadingly, hoping to help you understand. “Maybe one day when I’m better we can try again.”

Your anger was a burning rage now ready to fully unleash. Did he really think he could hurt you and expect you to forgive him so easily when he was ready to start again?

“You can’t rip my feelings to shreds and just expect me to wait around for you, Tokito. Things don’t always work on your terms.” You said with venom in your voice.

Muichiro took a deep breath, tears now lining his own eyes. “Yes, you’re right. I don’t expect you to wait around. You deserve to be happy and if you find someone else before I’m ready… well, I wish you the best.”

“I wish I could say the same to you,” you said again, even more nasty than the last time.

Your statement seemed to be the last blow Muichiro could take as the tears dropped freely from his eyes. He turned around not wanting to face you anymore. He tried to muster up what he could to say goodbye but the lump in his throat was too much, so he parted his way silently leaving you alone.

Now alone your anger melted into despair as sobs that sounded too strong to be your own escaped you. All this time you were excited to see Muichiro, but you never expected this outcome.

You walked home as sobs still escaped you from time to time. Finally approaching your house you froze in shock at the sight you were met with.

Your estate was covered in origami cranes of varying sizes and shapes. You blinked and rubbed your eyes believing you were imagining them. However, the cranes remained and the longer you looked the more you seemed to see.

You walked up to the door where a letter was hanging that read:

Till we meet again.

-Tokito

You grabbed the letter and held it to your chest tears streaming once more. I hope you didn’t take me seriously Muichiro you thought to yourself. Of course, I’d wait for you, I’d wait lifetimes for you. Please once you’re ready run back to me.

Thank you for the very angsty request! I hope I did it justice and you enjoy~

Tags~

@aeolia18 @yandere-kou @sakurasunkiss @hashiroses @plvuii @snowmist-hashira

[wisyhana]

These are some pages that I made as fanart for a fanfic i Really Love. It's something rare that I look back and actually kinda liking the result- 😂 I've been trying to improve my panels flow(?)/pacing And the Lettering- adding words in comics is pretty hard 🥺 if you had some insights, pls let me know ❤ or just give me what you think... Thank you so much!!

Hi! Thank you for waiting this long hahaha

First of all I love your Yugi, is so freaking adorable, big fan over here aaaaaa.

And okay we're gonna talk about comics. Oh boy. It's not a topic I dont like talking but it's something I get way too.... intense, even if I feel I don't have much to defend with. Anyway I'll try to not be so detailed and serious about it so I can bring a decent commentary!

Disclaimer that I have a lot of issues with the use of thought bubbles, but that's a me thing. Myself I try to avoid them so I can focus on a "show more, talk less" type of flow. So if I start talking about them it's because of that, not that you'r doing a bad thing or anything.

I like how you use the panels, by themselves and ignoring the dialogues, they work perfectly fine! I think my thing with the pacing is that I'd draw a 3-4 pages comics instead of 2 for this scene alone. It's a pain I know, but I think for this type of scenario adding a little more of time could help to appreciate some details, like Kaiba being notoriously angry, the moment he touches Yugi's forehead, etc. But this is also a very personal opinion because I'm a sucker for very sloooow interactions, so all this I'm saying is for the sake of a slower pacing. Sadly you gotta draw more or write less if you want to get that effect, also you can get in a situation where things end up vague and ugh, what a pain hjdfhjhds.

I have a serious problem with dialogue bubbles, I never know where to put them Dx. I always feel they're on the way or that they hinder the reading or that they look straight up ugly hahahaha. I think you use a good space for them! they're not in the way of the faces or important scenes, but I can see you needed to add arrows for the conversation to work. In my opinion the dialogue works perfectly without the arrows. We all know there are two people talking so having only the faces on the bubbles was enough to understand who was talking and what order follow.

Now, if you want to work on bubbles without using the faces to show who's talking and don't lose the order in the way, I could recommend something like this:

Sorry if it looks way too clumsy! But a thing we artist have to deal is how the order of the bubbles affects on the flow of the dialogue. Specially when we don't have a specific way to show how the person talks (for example japaneses have many ways to show character's expression so it's easier for them to identify it.) So we need to focus on the flow.

A wonderful person who talks TONS of this matter is the motherfucker Scott McCoud!

This is just an example of how dialogues can contribute to the time and spaces and how the order affects the reading. This is not the exact example for what I mean but Scott is a badass of the comic and the complexity of it.

Understanding Comics The invisible Art is a masterpiece, I blame him for making me doubt is I'm doing a good job or not.

Okay before I go way too into this, one last thing and this is personal opinion. I love white background but you gotta be very careful to not make it look like lazyness. You don't need to draw a full background but maybe adding some shading can help to make the illusion of space rather than having a blank space. Of course this is just my opinion.

Anyway, I really like how you work! my huge recommendation would be to simply take your time on it, I feel it shows a bit of impatience or nerviousness, but that's just my idea. So far you're going a good way on creating comics and I'd love to see more of them :3

Hope this helped you in some way! And as always don't forget to have fun drawing your beautiful bois!

this is me everytime I draw comic and find a inconsistency.

[sabo-has-my-heart]

Dear Astra,

This is two part anon. Hope you are doing okay. I've come back from hell (lol just kidding, I got a heavy fever for like a week, and then spent the next 2 weeks catching up with my homework). How are you? I've learned it the hard way that you should always drink enough fluids, so remember your daily water!

During my time in bed, I thought of a cute fic idea that I'd love to tell you (not that I'm urging you to write, I just wanna talk). Reader and Sabo are both serious workers in the RA. However, whenever they have time alone, Sabo'll turn into a huge size golden retriever, with the puppy eyes yearning for reader's touch and praise. (Aizzzzz I melted while fantasizing about this, like imagine Sabo goes "Y/N~ pat my head, please" while kneeling down hugging reader's waist. OH GOD I'M DYING). Oh I also have a fantasy for Ace, which is nsfw :^) (can't help it ig, I'm not telling it if you're not curious tho, since I know sharing these +18 thoughts can be a bit 'meh' to some people)

Also I've spent a huge amount of time gaming while being sick and found myself a new husbando alongside Ace ehehe it's Roland from Punishing Gray Raven if you wanna check it out.

I'm curious if you like listening to music or not? I've been into a Japanese band recently, which is a surprise because I've rarely heard any Japanese song. But I love them and I hope they'll get more love (just like the way I love you *wink wink* lol)

I think it's because I've done everything that I'm so hyped now. I feel like this message is too long and full of random bs. But yeahhhh boiiiii, I finished everything today, I'm so happy.

Oh yeah, recently you posted a delete announcement that freaks the loving Ace out of me. I'm sorry for what you had to go through but half of me was like "not the Ace fics, not the Ace fics, please please anything but the Ace fics"

Sorry if these topics are so random, I'm just sharing my 'highlights in life' with you. Idk maybe because it makes me happy I hope it makes you happy too. Aight my hype has calmed down, Imma take my leave. Have a great day/night. Best wishes to whatever you're doing and PLEASE REMEMBER TO STAY HYDRATED (sorry if it's too aggressive, I'll stop if you don't like it. It's just that I've been through the worst because of it so I don't want you to experience that) Aight, this is already longer than my project essay, see you!

I finally got around to writing something!!! So it's not as long as some of my others things and definately not as long as I would have liked, however, considering I'm sleep deprived, can't sleep, and haven't written in months, I'm not displeased with it!

Warnings: FLUFF!!!

Word Count: 980

     Smiling, you ran your hands through Sabo’s wavy blond locks as he snuggled his head into your stomach. While the two of you both worked hard, highly dedicated to the Army’s cause, you both sometimes wished to spend more time together like this. In the privacy of your room, you could both relax, let down your guards, and be vulnerable. Sabo never hid who he was, he was always true to himself, to his dreams and aspirations, to his desires, hobbies, and interests; that being said, this was a side only you ever saw. Here, in the safety of your room, he allowed himself to melt into your embrace, to yearn for your praise, and to nuzzle into your touch; as if he was a touch starved child and not the strong, independent, second-in-command of the RA. A blond haired, lovesick, human puppy. 

     “Did I do alright on the last mission?” he asked softly, nuzzling against you even more, arms tightening around your waist, making you laugh slightly. You knew exactly what he was after. It wasn’t like you minded and it wasn’t like he was purposefully seeking your attention and praise in an annoying manner, but hearing you say it always made his heart skip a beat and his stomach flutter.

     “You did more than alright, you did spectacularly. A perfect 10/10 like always.” you said, caressing his cheek as he let out a pleased, content noise as he attempted to snuggle further into your stomach.

     “You know I always try my best for you.” he said softly, his words muffled by your stomach.

     “Oh? So you don’t give your all simply for the RA?” you teased, making him whine. He knew you were teasing, but part of him felt a lump form in his throat, as if he’d disappointed you for only giving his 100% for you.

     “No, I promise, I give my all for the Army, I promise, I just-” “Shhh, I know, sweetheart, I’m sorry. I know you’ll always do your best, for me or for our cause.” You said, leaning down to kiss his forehead. Sabo sighed happily at the feeling of your lips against his skin, relaxing once more into your touch. You’d pull him closer and wrap your arms around him, comforting him if he hadn’t been cuddled up to you like he was at the moment, the both of you laying on the bed, his tall form curled up so he could fit on the bed while laying his head on your stomach. He reminded you so much of a golden retriever at moments like these. A sweet puppy curled up with their loved one, tail wagging softly as they snuggled up to them, eyes begging for praise and pets. Sometimes you liked to joke that he should have found a canine zoan devil fruit instead so that he could have a real tail to wag back and forth. Not that you weren’t happy that he’d found his brother’s devil fruit. In fact, you loved that he’d eaten the Mera Mera fruit, enjoying the warmth that radiated from his body on cold nights as you held each other close. 

     He’d loved how you’d spent the entire night telling him how amazing his new abilities were and how happy you were that he’d succeeded in tracking down and eating something that meant so much to him.

     “Thank you for always working so hard, for doing so much for everyone. You’re always doing everything you can and you deserve so much for what you do.” you said, making him grin like a mad man as he attempted to nuzzle his face further into you again, as if trying to hide how giddy your words made him. 

     “Can… can I ask you for something then?” he asked, looking up at you once more with those large, pleading, puppy eyes of his. You giggled and nodded, brushing his hair out of his face, “can we go out to my favorite restaurant later? I know it’s pretty far away, but they make the best ramen.” he requested, making you chuckle as you shook your head at his request.

     “Of course we can. We’ll get you as much ramen as you want and even something for dessert if you’d like. Afterwards, we can spend the rest of the day snuggled up in bed, or I can spend the rest of the day just running my fingers through your hair while you sleep.” you offered, drawing more happy noises mixed with excitement from his throat. 

     “Thank you, you’re so amazing.” he said, his large grin plastered across his face. At this rate, you were pretty sure his smile wouldn’t die down until morning, fairly certain that he’d fall asleep with that insanely large grin. 

     “Pretty sure you’re the amazing one, sweetheart. So strong, brave, and kind. Nobody could possibly be as astounding as you.” you praised, making him wiggle around on the bed in delight. You could practically see the non-existent tail thumping against the mattress. Pulling him away from your abdomen, you began to pepper his face in sweet kisses, bringing a loopy, delighted, love drunk look to his face before pulling him into your chest, resting his head just above your heart, its gentle beating easily relaxing him further as he began to doze off, too content to keep his eyes open. As much as he was enjoying the attention, thriving on your love and adoration, he was tired, comfortable, and at ease, “Get some sleep, you’ve earned it.” you said, arms holding him tightly, hand still running through his hair as he nodded sleepily, quickly falling asleep. He was the RA’s hardest worker, one of its strongest fighters, and one of its best soldiers, and he was your sweet little golden retriever, an adorable puppy of a man, and as soft and cuddly as the fluffy canine he resembled.

[liondrakes]

Personal Origins of a Liondrake

by Sivaan of Candlekeep

This post was written for the following challenges created by @/who-is-page:

Day 28 of the Alterhuman Writing Challenge

Day 6 of the Folcintera Week Challenge

6.) How and when did you realize you were nonhuman? Was it something you had always known on some level? Something that awakened in you, for whatever reason? Something that just ended up becoming a part of you?

Do you have any theories or explanations behind your nonhumanity (or species identity), or is it something you prefer not to try and dissect?

I've touched on my personal theory behind my origins on an earlier entry of the Alterhuman Writing Challenge, so I'll focus on how I came to understand myself.

I realized I wasn’t an orthohuman when I was a teenager. Although I officially awakened in 2022, I connected these dots long before that event. Back when Vine was still around, I came across a video of Naia Ōkami. I understand that she’s quite a controversial figure within the community nowadays, but it is imperative that I discuss this moment.

Anyway, the video in question was an infamous clip taken out of context: “On all levels except physical, I am a wolf.” The unfortunate part wasn’t her statement; it was the fact that this vine was posted to make fun of her. This was a time when cringe culture was at its peak on the internet. I didn’t find anything particularly funny about the vine, but I was curious about what she meant by that. I decided to look the statement she made and search for the context. Besides the clip that would keep circling around of her, I did find information about Naia Ōkami and her experience(s). Notably, this rabbithole led to me learning about otherkinity.

Unbeknownst to me at the time, discovering what Otherkin was would change the course of my life. That impact wouldn’t be felt until much later, though. Being young, it made me think of the fascination I had towards animals (anthropomorphic or otherwise) and other nonhuman creatures. Sometimes, those feelings extended beyond interest. I felt closer to nonhuman animals than humans. I admired and envied of mythical renown. I wanted to escape the flesh I was born into and see what the world was like from their point of view. As I sat with these thoughts, the possibility of being otherkin crossed my mind.

For a few weeks, I kept returning to all the web pages I pulled up and musing on the idea of being anything other than human. I thought of the nonhuman creatures I loved and connected with. I thought about not simply loving werewolves but being a werewolf. It excited me.

At this point in my life, I downloaded Tumblr and made my first account. Honestly, I don’t think it was the best idea for someone who had just turned thirteen, but hey, what can you do? I used my blog for multifandom purposes like many kids my age, but part of me wanted to announce these feelings of nonhumanity on my blog.

I didn’t want to tell anyone around me, let alone my parents. I lived in the Bible Belt of America for fuck’s sake. Even so, I was smart enough to kept myself fairly anonymous; I rarely had to worry about those closest to me finding my socials. In theory, sharing this realization on Tumblr was my safest bet.

In the dead of night, I made a coming out post of sorts. Please note that what I’m describing is not how I currently feel about nonhuman identity. I am paraphrasing what I recall from that post I made when I was thirteen.

Here’s a summary of my coming out post:

I explained that I might be otherkin, specifically a werewolf. I remember copying and pasting the definition of otherkin My followers and mutuals didn’t have to understand why I feel this way, so long as they treat my identity with respect. If they didn’t support my identity, then I understood completely. I don’t hold it against them for unfollowing or blocking me if it came to that. It’s not normal for someone to feel this way, so I sympathized with their confusion and apprehension.

Thinking back on it saddens me.

It hurts remembering that sort of thinking. At such a young age, I felt like I had to walk on eggshells if I deviated from any sort of social “norm” and placate people who’ll treat me like shit regardless.

And again, this was when cringe culture still ran rampant. That isn’t to say there weren’t people who were unapologetic about their identities then, but as a child, the thing you fear the most is to be ostracized or gawked at. Many an asshole made “content” by just ridiculing people who did no harm. All they did was be themselves and did what they wanted. Remembering the existence of those same people, I deleted my coming out post not even a full day after I uploaded it.

Any mention of nonhumanity was gone. Those feelings became secrets. I didn’t mention anything about species identity, be it online or offline. If, by any chance, otherkind was mentioned in passing, I'd either keep quiet or comment that I'm not bothered by otherkind and leave it at that.

Things took a turn when the pandemic began. In my senior year of high school, I deactivated my blog and turned towards Twitter. For a year, I befriended a lot of people as the world kept snowballing with each following year. One of these people had been a friend of one of my mutuals, Rafael. Rafael's account ranged anywhere from important information to multifandom content, but above all else, Rafael spoke very openly about being otherkin.

Before I came forward about my identity (again), I held a lot of respect for Rafael. I still do. Times changed. Cringe culture was dead, at least for most folks. People were emboldened to be more unapologetic about who they are. That included me as well. I spent a lot of time exploring my gender identity. I hoarded labels. I picked up flag-making and coined my own xenogenders as creative practices. As one could assume, I stopped walking on those eggshells. Seeing Rafael's posts reminded me that my journey didn't stop at gender. In April of 2022, I messaged Rafael about my suspicions of being otherkin (again). Expectedly, Rafael was very supportive and encouraged exploration into this side of my identity.

From then on, I announced to my followers and mutuals that I was Otherkin. This time, I didn't take the post down. Many were supportive and curious about my experience. Some weren’t too familiar with it but weren’t judgmental about it either. My partner Nani was the most supportive of all, which brought a lot of relief for me. Of the people in my life, she’s the most consistent in understanding and familiarizing herself with my identity.

Informing the people on my socials was one thing, though. Involving myself in the community was something else entirely. Luckily, talking with my nonhuman friends helped warm me up to interacting with the community at my own pace. It was through Rafael that I met Coyote, another good friend of mine who inspired me to lean even harder into my species identity. Sometimes, I wonder where I would be if I hadn’t met either of them. The only thing I can think of is being a furry lifestyler. I used to dip in and out of the furry subculture in my teenage years; I can see that experience filling the void if I hadn't met Rafael or Coyote. Other than that, who knows? "What if" moments are hard to speculate on.

I wouldn't say that I "always" knew of my nonhumanity. It certainly showed itself in my feelings towards nonhuman creatures as a child, especially with the intensity of those feelings. Yet, I didn't readily make the connection that "I am (x)". I had to discover it. When I did, I shut it out to avoid judgment. I buried my truth for years, and it took witnessing the confidence of others to dig it back up.

Nowadays, I don't use the Otherkin label. I use Transspecies because of the discoveries I made along the way. I also use Alterhuman and Alterfictional to cover the broadness of my identity (in and outside of species), whereas Othervague and Folcintera are used to cover the intricacies of my identity. My journey took a lot of work to get where I am now. It didn't stop at accepting myself; it continued through introspections, writings based off of those introspections, conversations, taking in what I learned from those conversations, readings, and simply being what I am. As mentioned in my previous entry for this challenge, my journey has yet to end. It’s ongoing. I take my experiences, let them sink in, document them if I so choose and keep on living as usual.

Nine years ago, I defanged myself out of fear. Now, I no loner deny my nonhumanity. This April, it'll make three years since the day I awakened and finally embraced who I am. I haven't stopped talking about my experiences since. Furthermore, my passion for species identity and its nuances have intensified, specifically through being ontopunk.

I am unapologetically polymorphic, a concept, an animal, a fictional character, and many more wonderful, beautiful things.

I am me, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

[friendlyneighborhoodyanderenerd]

Precious Pet

Smut, Smut, Smut, let's make more smut! My last post sparked an idea with a potential part 2 so I'm writing it lol.

Minors DNI

TW: 18+, Dubcon/Noncon?, Smut, Forced feeding, Yandere behaviors and tendencies

Characters: General Feng Xin, General Mu Qing

______________________________________________________________

The room was dark, the only light that was from the light of the small candle next to the bed Mu Qing laid on. It has been weeks since what happened between him and Feng Xin at his temple. He had been, for the most part, stuck in this room in Feng Xins temple. Endearing an onslaught of attention, gifts and touches. This was one of those rare moments he was alone. No Feng Xin, none of his people, all alone in this dark room. Don’t get him wrong, he has tried numerous times to escape this room but couldn't. With every try, comes more and more “Attention” as the red general puts it. He was just so tired. He rolls over as the door opens. 

“Hey, I've brought food.”

Mu Qing shows no interest in Feng Xins food. In fact as of the last few weeks he has been ignoring him. He hoped that showing disinterest in the red general would make Feng Xin board of him and give up. The red general looks at him in silence for a moment before he sighs. 

“Mu Qing, my dear you need to eat”

Still no reply. Feng Xin has more patience than people may give him credit for, however, the blue general hasn't eaten for days, and Feng Xin was getting agitated with him. He puts the plate on a nearby table and goes to the closet. Rummaging through it, this action catches Mu Qings attention. He watches as he pulls out a box, an all too familiar box. Freaking out a bit he jumps up and off the bed towards the door, however the red general grabs him and pushes him onto the bed. Grabbing his wrist and tying him down onto the bed.

“You had the chance to eat on your own, now I'm going to feed you myself.”

“No! No, I'm sorry I'll eat!” 

He thrashes around as he is force fed. Feng Xin does his best to be gentle with him, it’s not his intention to harm him. He has his ways of getting the blue general to do as he needs, he loves him and just wants him to be obedient and let him take care of him. 

After feeding him he sits up, looking down at Mu Qing. If there was one thing Feng Xin liked, it was the sight of Mu Xin under him. Throughout the time he has kept him here he has learned a lot. Things like, Mu Qings mind will go to absolute mush if his chest was played with, he easily gets cock drunk, especially if the right spot was hit, don’t forget the praise kink. Just telling him he is a good boy will get him hard in moments. The more Feng Xin learns about the blue general, the more he can use against him.

He let a hand wander his body, stopping on his chest as he gently rubs his nipples through the thin shirt he wears. Leaning down, he licks a nipple, gaining a weak moan from the man. He had found a guilty pleasure in making the blue general feel so good he couldn't speak.

“S-Shit!”

Mu Qings voice squeaked. A mixture of pleasure and surprise tinted his voice. Mu Qing Attempted to buck up, However, the binds that held him to the bed kept him down firmly. A chuckle admitted from the red general. Finding his actions quite cute. Wanting nothing more than to make a mess out of the blue general. He continued to lap at his nipples.

"Fuck, your such a good boy for me. So cute and perfect."

The blue general blushed, A notable boat forming in his pants. His hand reached down. And fondled the man through his pants. The sounds that fell out from the blue generals lips were music to his ears. Slowly he pulls down his pants and pumps his dick. 

“Ah! F-Fuck”

He wines, whimpers and moans. Mu Qing can feel a knot build up in his stomach. Drool starts to fall from his mouth. His mind started to go to mush as the pleasure built up. 

“C-Cum! Wanna cum!”

“Then cum for me.” 

And that’s all it took. He let out all that pent up pleasure from the last few days. Feng Xin works him through his orgasm, allowing him to really bask in the afterglow of cuming. As he calms down, his body twitches. Once completely calmed down, he was picked up and taken to bathe. 

“I love you so much. I’ll make you feel so good you won’t want to leave.”

[wintrfang]

They Call Me the Seer

They call me the Seer. I was born with special eyes. For as long as I can remember I could always see, but not the world around me, not as it was anyway. My parents tell me that sometimes I would cry, for no clear reason, and eventually stop similarly unprompted. As I've grown I've come to realize that my eyes can always see where I am, but sometimes they don't see when I am. I can always hear, smells touch, and taste what seems to be reality. But most of the time I don't see the right time.

Sometimes, when I concentrate hard enough, I think I can control when I'm seeing. I can usually keep it so that things are close to reality, buildings are where they should be, rocks, trees. But I wear an eye bandage to make it clear that I can't see people I might walk into. For whatever reason, this doesn't affect my ability to "see" as people claim it should.

But sometimes, when I'm not remembering to concentrate or if too many outside stimuli are distracting me, the sight shows me vastly different times than when reality is. At times the ground is almost eye level or way below me. I've seen dark depths of lakes that either no longer or might some day exist. At times it is completely dark. I'm unsure if this is because the light of the sun and stars has faded or perhaps I'm under the surface of the ground. This latter theory I have proved true sometimes by hopping in place and just barely peeking above the ground and seeing. But sometimes no matter how hard I try I can't see anything. Or everything is on fire.

One of the weirdest parts is that I rarely see myself. Occasionally I can turn around and see me walking towards me. Or see me walking ahead of me. This also took a while to realize. I didn't initially have any consistent way to know what I looked like. But one time I saw someone with eye bandages turn around to look my way, waving their hand weird, then I took a few steps forward and turned around. I focused for a moment to see into the past and saw the same person walking towards me so I waved at them.

Word of my sight has reached the ruler of this land. A group of people were sent to bring me to the ruler, I assume so that my powers can be used for the good of the people, but I've heard whispers that it may be more selfishly motivated.

I've been able to catch a few glimpses of my escorts. They are a motley crew, no uniforms, no military identification. I would almost say they look like criminals if my parents hadn't said they were definitely holding an official seal. But they are all very friendly and, even if it is just because it is their job, they make sure to take very good care of me. Occasionally when my sight changes unexpectedly I will let out a small scream. I can always hear them move into a formation around me while one comes directly to me and ask in a stern yet soothing tone what is wrong. When I clarify, as best I can, they resume leading me onward.

We've been travelling for a while now and the closer we get to our destination, the more I start to worry. I keep seeing battles, signs of war torn lands, and other things that concern me. Some of them seem in the distant past or future, but some seem like they could be less than a few months from now. I've mentioned this to some of those escorting me. This caused some dissenting opinions, whether they should take me the rest of the way so they get paid or if they should take me away out of fear of what I might accidentally cause.

I don't know what they will do, let alone what they should do. I've never though about if I could change the events that I see until now. Are my visions destiny or just a possibility?

The end...?

If you read this whole thing thank you for reading it! I hope you enjoyed. I've had this character idea in my head for probably a decade, maybe longer. And I finally thought maybe Tumblr would be a good place to write some short stories. If you enjoy it please give a like and maybe reblog too? I might be encouraged to write more.

Also if you want to use this as like a ttrpg campaign or something feel free. I wrote it as setting agnostic as possible, so it could easily be in fantasy, modern, sci fi, whatever. The basic idea is that the party would be tasked with going to get the Seer and then you could make it clear that actually delivering the Seer is probably a bad idea. Or add your own twist! If you do use it I'd love to hear about it though.

[kawaiipeacemusic]

Ask game!

Let's see what I'll say!

1. whats your favorite thing in your room?

My books.

2. how tall do you wish you were?

5'9

3. what color is your hair?

Black. Gonna change it soon tho

4. whats a rare fear that you have?

A lot of ppl say it's stupid but i'm always scared I'll die on vacation. I don't sleep for at least 2 days because of paranoia.

5. are you single?

Yes!

6. has your heart ever been broken?

Many times. Not just by lovers.

7. what was your favorite thing as a kid?

Rice.

8. favorite coping mechanism?

Tell myself That if I'm sad, people will worry, and they could be doing smth else instead of worrying about me.

9. whats your favorite love language?

I'm clingy, but if I know that person doesn't like to be touched, then humor.

10. how often do you get nervous?

Pretty often

11. if you had three wishes, would you use them?

Yes ofc!

12. if you could be fluent in any language which one would it be?

Arabic

13. where do you wish to live?

Japan

14. what’s something surprising about you?

I'm very dirty minded at times. A lot of pp at first meet think I'm a virgin. Trust me I've asked.

15. when did you last shower?

2 hrs ago

16. when did you first join tumblr?

2019

17. do you want any tattoos? if so, where, what, and why?

I want the griffindor flag on my shoulder. The phrase 'no reason to worry' on my wrist (KotLC fans if you know you know) and a dragon on my leg.

18. whats the most prominent dream youve had?

Not gonna answer this for personal reasons. moving on!

19. whats your dream job?

To be a Greek philosopher!

20. whats your ideal date?

A picnic!

21. what do you wish you could do better?

live.

22. what country would you live in if you could?

The Bahamas! I have family from there.

23. whos the best person you know?

My grandmother.

24. have you ever walked into something you shouldnt have?

Twice. next!!

25. whats your favorite holiday?

Christmas!!

26. when have you been most embarrassed?

I'll post it on my log eventually.next!

27. whats your favorite halloween costume?

Harley Quinn.

28. what are you best at?

Singing and Writing.

29. do you know how to tie your shoes?

Yes!

30. do you have siblings?

Yes!

31. if you could know one thing about the future what do you wanna know?

Will I ever get to meet 2 ppl I really want to meet.

32. whats a dealbreaker for you?

In dating! Cleanliness.

33. whats your favorite current class?

Not in school anymore.next!

34. how many people have you dated?

2.

35. how often do you wash your hair?

Once every 2 weeks.

36. do you daydream? what about?

That's a story for another post.next!

37. where do you go to be alone?

My bathroom.

38. which parent do you like most?

my adoptive dad.

39. whats the one standard you hold yourself to?

if someone hits me(and means harm), separate from that person.

40. whos voice do you enjoy?

This might come as a surprise but my first and most beloved mutual, @imherequeerandgotexistentialfear. his voice is very relaxing.

41. if you could announce one thing to the world what would it be?

42. whats one thing you wanna do but havent yet?

Go to Japan.

43. what do you wish you never did?

44. do you believe in life after death?

Yes.

45. do you prefer book over movie?

always because the movie is usually based on the book.

46. whats your favorite season?

autumn

47. whats your favorite time of day

night. and not for sleep either.

48. do you have a beloved stuffed animal?

yes!

49. whens a time you wish you acted differently?

everyday from ages 6-14.

50. what’s something you wish that you never bought?

the vase in my living room.

51. do you have your own room?

Yes!

52. whats your favorite book?

gonna do series: Keeper of the Lost Cities (KotLC), Every Rick Riodan series ever created, and the Covenant series.

53. who’s someone you hate?

next!

54. whats your best hottake?

its on my blog. go check.

55. whats your favorite game?

too hard of a question.next!

56. whens a time you felt real genuine fear?

When I was 3 and my parents were fighting and I had to hide in the closet,not knowing what was going to happen.

57. are you a morning person?

hell no.

58. do you drink enough water?

.....I drink more wine then I do water.next!

59. how different are you from the little kid you used to be?

I'm an age regressor, not that different, and its nice to be almost childlike without the truma.

60. do you enjoy tumblr?

yes!

61. have you ever had a tumblr experience that made you wanna delete the app?

No, and I hope I don't.

62. whats your least favorite game?

Genshin Impact

63. were you a markiplier fan?

No.

64. how do you respond to compliments?

I try to be nice and say thank you but 90% of the time I just blush.

65. whats something that would make you fall in love?

I actually don't know how to answer this question. moving on!

66. do you believe in marriage?

Yes, but but have absolutely no plans to do so.

67. do you have a crush on someone?

.......maybe.

68. do you like tumblr?

ofc!

69. were you a voltron stan?

yes!

70. whats your favorite ship?

I have a lot but we're gonna go top 3: Sokeefe from KotLC, Percabeth from PJO/HoO,and Alex and Aiden from The Covenant series.

71. whats your favorite song?

i don't have one. but my favorite playlist is my 'Melanie Martinez & more'.

72. do you like loud crowds?

it depends on the situation.

73. have you ever created conflict on purpose?

yes, as a child.

74. how do you sleep?

A lot of times I don't

75. do you bite your lips?

No, but but I chew the inside of my cheek

76. do you use chapstick?

Not as much as I should, considering I have dry lips

77. do you have any pets?

A lot.

78. what color are your eyes?

Chestnut brown

79. what’s something you wish you could change about yourself?

My face

80. have you ever had surgery?

Yes

81. whats your least favorite animal?

Anteaters

82. whats something that youre really bad at?

Making eye contact without bursting into giggles.

83. do you have an squishmellows?

Yessss

84. do you enjoy fast food?

Ofc!

85. do you like soda?

Yup!

86. what grade are you in?

Not in school any more.😊

87. do you wear any jewelry?

Yes

88. what socials do you use?

YouTube, tiktok, Instagram, Snapchat ,Capcut,and a couple of others my brain won't let me think of rn.

89. whats your lowest grade in school right now?

Not in school any more.😊

90. whats the latest youve stayed up till?

9 in the morning after staying up all night

91. did you ever have bangs?

No. I wish

92. what trends did you hate?

Side ponytails and hightop sneakers

93. whats your favorite item of clothing?

Pants. I feel like the bottoms of your outfit just make it uniquely yours

94. do you like dinosaurs?

Yesss

95. whats your opinion on body hair?

God gave it to us which obviously means we should have it but if you don't want it you don't have to.

96. whats your least favorite time?

6:00 am

97. do you make a wish at 11:11?

Yes!

98. do you have your phone on military or regular?

Regular but I know how to read military time.

99. have you ever been to church?

Yes! I still go. I am a proud child of God!😊

100. are you lgbtq?

I'm lesbian/poly and proud!

This took 3 days of being consistently on and off Tumblr. I hope you enjoy reading this.if you don't understand any of the answers I wrote, just send me an ask! luv you beautiful ppl!

ask game

1. whats your favorite thing in your room?

2. how tall do you wish you were?

3. what color is your hair?

4. whats a rare fear that you have?

5. are you single?

6. has your heart ever been broken?

7. what was your favorite thing as a kid?

8. favorite coping mechanism?

9. whats your favorite love language?

10. how often do you get nervous?

11. if you had three wishes, would you use them?

12. if you could be fluent in any language which one would it be?

13. where do you wish to live?

14. what’s something surprising about you?

15. when did you last shower?

16. when did you first join tumblr?

17. do you want any tattoos? if so, where, what, and why?

18. whats the most prominent dream youve had?

19. whats your dream job?

20. whats your ideal date?

21. what do you wish you could do better?

22. what country would you live in if you could?

23. whos the best person you know?

24. have you ever walked into something you shouldnt have?

25. whats your favorite holiday?

26. when have you been most embarrassed?

27. whats your favorite halloween costume?

28. what are you best at?

29. do you know how to tie your shoes?

30. do you have siblings?

31. if you could know one thing about the future what do you wanna know?

32. whats a dealbreaker for you?

33. whats your favorite current class?

34. how many people have you dated?

35. how often do you wash your hair?

36. do you daydream? what about?

37. where do you go to be alone?

38. which parent do you like more?

39. whats the one standard you hold yourself to?

40. whos voice do you enjoy?

41. if you could announce one thing to the world what would it be?

42. whats one thing you wanna do but havent yet?

43. what do you wish you never did?

44. do you believe in life after death?

45. do you prefer book over movie?

46. whats your favorite season?

47. whats your favorite time of day

48. do you have a beloved stuffed animal?

49. whens a time you wish you acted differently?

50. what’s something you wish that you never bought?

51. do you have your own room?

52. whats your favorite book?

53. who’s someone you hate?

54. whats your best hottake?

55. whats your favorite game?

56. whens a time you felt real genuine fear?

57. are you a morning person?

58. do you drink enough water?

59. how different are you from the little kid you used to be?

60. do you enjoy tumblr?

61. have you ever had a tumblr experience that made you wanna delete the app?

62. whats your least favorite game?

63. were you a markiplier fan?

64. how do you respond to compliments?

65. whats something that would make you fall in love?

66. do you believe in marriage?

67. do you have a crush on someone?

68. do you like tumblr?

69. were you a voltron stan?

70. whats your favorite ship?

71. whats your favorite song?

72. do you like loud crowds?

73. have you ever created conflict on purpose?

74. how do you sleep?

75. do you bite your lips?

76. do you use chapstick?

77. do you have any pets?

78. what color are your eyes?

79. what’s something you wish you could change about yourself?

80. have you ever had surgery?

81. whats your least favorite animal?

82. whats something that youre really bad at?

83. do you have an sqishmellows?

84. do you enjoy fast food?

85. do you like soda?

86. what grade are you in?

87. do you wear any jewelry?

88. what socials do you use?

89. whats your lowest grade in school right now?

90. whats the latest youve stayed up till?

91. did you ever have bangs?

92. what trends did you hate?

93. whats your favorite item of clothing?

94. do you like dinosaurs?

95. whats your opinion on body hair?

96. whats your least favorite time?

97. do you make a wish at 11:11?

98. do you have your phone on military or regular?

99. have you ever been to church?

100. are you lgbtq?

[losingdcgs]

🎵 axel & marcela !

send 🎵 for a short playlist of 3-5 songs my muse loves and why they love them

Axel

1. Lovesong - The Cure For one thing, it's just a great love song by his favorite band off, possibly, his favorite album. For another, this song is a wedding present from Robert Smith to his wife and honestly, that's the kind of energy Axel has when he's serious about someone (which isn't often). Like "let me make you a playlist and then possibly write some songs about you 😍" 2. Cry Little Sister - Gerard McMann The Lost Boys is easily one of Axel's favorite movies of all times (from being one of the first horror movies he saw at a young age, definitely being his bi awaking, and having influences on his fashion) and falls under the category of comfort movie for him, so of course he loves the theme song for the movie. 3. In The Room Where You Sleep - Dead Man's Bones Axel is a huge lover of all things spooky, so this song is right up his alley. But also! He's insanely impressed by and admires the work that went into the entire album this song is from because what do you mean you tried to record every song in three takes or less and played all the instruments, including the ones you had never touched before?? 4. The Perfect Girl - Mareux Listen, The Cure may be his favorite band, but he thinks this cover is better than the original. Sorry, not sorry! He just prefers the darker vibes of the cover. Plus this cover was probably what put Mareux on his radar and he has since vibed with a lot of his music. 5. Mess U Up - DustBowlChampion Honestly just a banger Axel found through following various rabbit holes while trying to look for new music to listen to in a rare moment where he decided to just be chill with his free time and not go out and cause problems.

Marcela

1. Silver Springs - Fleetwood Mac Fleetwood Mac is a band her parents would listen to/have playing a lot in their house while she was growing up, so their music in general is important to her. And she is definitely someone who saw a video of the iconic live performance of this song in 1997 and has been obsessed ever since because oh my god. 2. The Frost - Mitski In her opinion, sometimes you just have to have that one song you listen to on a loop in the dark at 2am while reviewing some of your worst decisions and you get bonus points if you find a song where the lyrics really remind you of that! And let me tell you, you're my best friend // now I've no one to tell // how I lost my best friend really does that for her!! 3. Hammer - Hana Vu For better or worse, Marcela is someone who falls in love with songs that feel like a punch to her gut with how relatable they are. Part of it is like "ouch I see too much of myself in this song" but the other part is like "oh, I'm not alone in this experience or these feelings", which is sort of comforting. (And unfortunately this is a song that hits hard for her). 4. Warm Body - Molly Payton When Molly Payton this song "is about looking for comfort in people when you're lonely", Marcela said "I feel that in my soul, let me add it to my playlist right away!" 5. Mercury - Steve Lacy She previously had a fling with someone who was a big fan of Steve Lacy and she has a habit of letting other people's interests bleed into hers. A lot of what she likes ends up being a mix of things she's decided she likes on her own and things someone who was in her life at one point likes.

[rueingthings]

I don't know how to explain this to others so I am going to start by trying to explain it to myself. When you have endured cyclical, long term depressive episodes for almost all of your adult life, sadness becomes a positive emotion. I kind of fucking love sadness, and I've noticed what I can only call a kind of defence mechanism I deploy at an instinctive awareness of worse dangers to come. Not always, which is how I know its deeper than just "get over yourself" because there's been plenty of myself I have had to simply get over and this is not that. Because let's say when its a "normal" cycle of not-depression but perhaps stress of some sort, sadness in me annoys me. I think well here we fucking go again, I don't have time for this. When I'm in rare periods of clarity and peace, sadness is just a nice excuse to have a good old cry and I enjoy the feeling of emotional lightness afterwards and the next day I may clear forget the episode or what triggered it even. But when its in one of transitional phases entering a depressive cycle, or deep into one, I welcome sadness with paradoxical joy. It feels so good to feel something that isn't the terror of blankness and despair. I reach for sadness to pull me out of that despair and its often worked. I'll play Fade Into You by Mazzy Star and if I cry, its a good fucking sign I'll be okay. The worst is when I don't cry. When I keep cycling through things and activities, hail mary exercise or scrolling for insta dopamine, and nothing works its like mental diarrhea, I can feel it all clanking around in the emptiness inside before being expelled painfully and too much of anything creates a kind of infectious pain that is very very far removed from sadness. Its an existential horror because I become extremely coldly analytical about who and what I am, starting with the usual I am a massive loser etc stuff but then ending at the much worse space of nothing matters, nothing matters, nothing matters, the universe is indifferent, there's nothing behind everyone's eyes and mine too and the hope itself of anything remotely meaningful to ever happen ceases to exist. The chasm between my mind and others feel infinitely impassable. Panic flutters inside me as I escape and escape from the thing nipping at my heels and all the time its right there waiting to swallow me.

The solution to that, not a lucky chance that shakes me out of it or some inexplicable trigger that gets the brain dopamine flowing again, no, the only observable actionable solution that has ever worked for me is to be seen. Really seen. To have someone look at me and say, you are human. You are here. I see you, I am with you. This is all real and so is the past and so is the future and things do matter. Just a tangible touch of someone looking right at you with acceptance and kindness...do you know how rare that is, how truly fucking rare that is...and how heart rendingly beautiful when I get it....but the hack I think if I can figure out how to do this properly, the hack is when you become that someone. When you can look at yourself and extend that understanding and acceptance to your own self, then you are never truly alone. I suppose this is what religious people call faith, thats what they use to keep terror at bay. But you aren't alone. Your past selves stand with you, your future selves too. We all care. This matters, so does tomorrow. Writing in this way is one method to try and express myself, to make myself into a real person again. Am I real girl yet?

[scoops404]

ooo maybe longer fics?

In regards to this ask!

"i would love to hear more about your brainstorming process for creating a new fic / how you come up with so many great ideas and how that’s brought to life!"

Answer under cut:

Longer fics come about in several different ways, and usually the spark of the idea changes immensely from what I thought it was going to be versus what the final "product" ends up being. It very much helps the "fear of the blank page" if you accept upfront that the end product isn't going to be what you daydreamed about. I've learned that lesson. (AKA accept that you need to learn to love the journey more than the destination sometimes)

As far as what makes my brain go brrrrr that's gonna be a fic, it's different things. A big factor is if it's different and innovative or just strange enough that I feel like it hasn't been done *my way* before. I don't want to tell the same story someone else has already told. It's also a lot of time and energy to put into something, it needs to be able to hold me captive, let alone my interest. Hits Different is the best example of this -- i don't know what crack i was on but suddenly i had 100K+ written in like 2 months. That's insane for me. I had 8K writing days and 10K+ writing days. That's so so rare for me. And mind you, I did this with a 40 hours a week daytime job. I don't even remember the spark of the idea for Hits Different except that their parents got married and then they wound up in the same dorm room -- all the other stuff came after that.

I jsut went back to look for any tweets about HD:

Aug 13, 2023: "So you know how I can't write anything normal? What if I told you I just wrote 2k of college au step-brothers/ enemies-to-lovers with football player Dream. Would anyone want that? They're currently discussing safewords to fight each other"

Oh, so I guess it started as a college AU and Dream was a football player before the other stuff got added. This is before the weird BDSM part got introduced lol.

For Anagnorisis, the spark was "what if George was pregnant and didn't know it until he was in labor?" aka I didn't know i was pregnant AU -> which morphed into thinking, okay, why wouldn't he know? What would cause the most drama about that? and them sleeping together but not *being* together was the answer lol. I kinda live blogged the beginning thought process for that fic, including the first scene i wrote.

For Just One Touch, it started as the f/m/m to m/m DNF threesome fic because I love Midas Touch (RIP) so much and wanted to explore that dynamic myself. And then it was going to be VERY internalized homophobic based at the end and Alison wrangled me and it turned more demi-sexual exploration of George trying to figure out himself out. I wanted FWB and this is as close as I could get tbh haha.

For Shine Here To Us, it was a fic event in a discord where we spun a wheel with tropes we'd like to try and tropes we've done before and loved and mpreg and hurt/comfort were my results (shockingly the mpreg was the trope I hadn't tried up to that point). I always had an idea of two people in the spotlight having a baby together for convenience and then it turning into more so that was the impetus for this fic. I just couldn't imagine Dream stating he wants to have a child and George not trying to bend over backwards to be the one to give that to him (but, you know, in a cool way where he doesn't look lame)

For Curse and Cure of the Internet, I had the idea of Dream as a fic writer accidentally writing fic about himself and George. I wrote like 5K of it and then put it aside because I figured it was too out there and people wouldn't really relate like other fic writers would -- but then I mentioned it to someone on twitter and then everyone dogpiled saying they want to see that and so i fleshed it out. It became obvious very early on that the universe needed OCs of fans for Dream to befriend and then I had a very fun time making them as different as possible from each other, but still Dream fans. And that fic was my love letter to fandom friends and fanfiction writing (before some of the disillusionment set in so im glad i got it out there then!). People still to this day ask about Right Hand Man, the fictional fic that Dream writes in this universe and that makes me so happy.

For Deep in the Dream of a Game, I was coming off of writing Curse and Cure and wanted to write something completely different. Jase (birbwatcher) was writing an MCC fic set with realistic virtual reality and that fic had an amazing start (it's unfinished, sadly) and it reminded me of "Check Chat," one of the fics where the players are transported into the game. I remember loving that concept and thinking it was perfect for what it was but i wanted more romance to it and i wanted to see more of them having to build a society and not so much about the killing the dragon part. And the idea could have faded back out, but then I wondered what would happen if they killed the dragon and it didn't work. What would they do then? How would they cope? Then I just had to write it

I've Never Fallen From Quite This High started as the idea of George's mom coming to Florida and announcing her divorce from George's father. i had an IRL friend's parents get divorced while she's an adult and listening to her talk about how weird it was sparked something in my brain. It's not ilke you'll have two bedrooms and split custody as a 26 year old, but it's still weird to see them separated. And that combined with Dream being able to befriend anybody made the idea grow legs. I wrote it off and on and then the scene with dream and kate at the diner and how funny their banter was convinced me to write the rest of it and see it through. This one also had the idea that George just feels too much and he's scared of it sometimes. I still see elements of that in him.

You guys kinda saw the beginning of "I Am Two Fools" as well -- Dizzy handed me some prompts and then my mind got away from me and i knew it wouldn't be a quick fic for me. The hard part of planning and plotting for this one was from the twist of changing POV from Dream in the first half to George in the second half. Once I figured out i needed to do that, everything kinda fell into place.

I suppose the moment a fic changes over from an idea to something i'm determined to write is like the first time i write a scene for it. if it feels right and interesting and i'm excited about it, then i'll just keep going. Talking about it with my friends and here on my blog helps a lot too. It's amazing what other people's excitement for your thing does to your own enthusiasm.

This is already so fucking long, but i'd love to talk about shorter fics too at some point because a lot of those pack a punch of world building. Circling back, the mushroom king and the nightmare, florida man dub. Fun stuff!! Thanks for the ask. let me know if there's something more specific you were looking for

[beyondthetemples-ooc]

I really want to analyze some of the RP Character Bleed-over I have with my characters, so here's that analysis! Definitely doing a deep dive for Dove, gonna at least brush over Srentha and Leyla and Kary too, but I doubt I'll have the energy for Team Transition.

Dove's alone got Way Long, the HECK.

Dove

Emotional bleed: Dove and I handle our emotions in VASTLY different ways, though sometimes the pure response to certain things have overlap, like our reaction to the thought of war. Azarath has a lot of emotional overlap too; there's a reason Dove is Azarathean and that reason is that I wanted to write about it! I have fondness for the place, and writing about Dove (and Srentha and Raven and Alerina and Magena and Leyla) only deepened that.

Dove gets a lot more carried away by her fear than I do. Unless there's a Phobia Trigger involved. Even then Dove falls apart a little more than I let myself, she needs someone to cling to or she's just an absolute total mess emotionally, but the fear involved is pretty much the same for us. Come to think of it, especially comparing her when she's younger to myself when I was 14-18, we both have a lot of shame and embarrassment around it, too...

As for happiness, Dove's is usually a much more even-keel contentedness, and while that's my most blissful state, more often if I experience joy, it's a sharp spike of delight. Dove has capacity for that, but she's more likely to feel a gentler joy. Especially because she has to restrain hers and I'm trying to get more in touch and experience mine more. We're going completely opposite directions with that.

(Though we both do experience a deep satisfying joy when we're with our loved ones!)

Anger is interesting, because my anger is a very long, slow, cold burn. It's the focused and icy kind of rage. While mine is something you really have to work to earn, and Dove's is similarly a very rare thing, when you REALLY manage to make Dove angry, she gets a lot more fiery than I do. (Loud voice, disgusted snapping, dramatic gestures, etc.) We can both be motivated to take extreme measures by rage, but Dove is more likely to react out of emotion, while my reactions remain focused on practicality or accomplishing something with it. Dove's anger also burns out a lot faster than mine.

And then there's peace. I was going to say Dove gets a lot more of it than I do, but then I remembered I actually wrote her experiencing DDD, and there's not a moment of peace (that lasts more than a paragraph) in that entire story. Whoops.

Well, her childhood was certainly more peaceful, but in teenagerdom and beyond, we both had to Work to earn it.

We both find peace in solitude and meditation and being in natural areas. I find forests more peaceful than she does; that's a bleed for Kary actually, but Dove has Memories of Struggle associated with forests, and while she CAN relax once she's in a better place, if she's in a negative mindset the memories of struggle will creep up on her and make it a lot less peaceful. This is especially true after she's held captive as a prisoner of war in Something Special, and especially for That Specific Forest. It takes a long, long time for her to be able to be there peacefully again.

Perception bleed: How Dove experiences both empathy and her emotionally-heightened energies are VASTLY informed by my own experiences! The sensations of the energies coming alive especially. (I've been doing energy work for more than half my life, like 17 years at this point! I write her energies the way mine feel, though she feels them more viscerally than I do and I have a lot more "phantom shifts" and "astral shifts" associated with it. Mine are more nonphysical and thus Dove's have more bodily/tactile sensations.)

Both of our Ideal Worlds are peaceful, but Dove has a lot more wistfulness about Earth never being that way than I do. I used to be a lot more pacifistic as a child, and at my core I still am, but I'm also too much of an activist to let pacifism stop

Come to think of it, Dove is too, at least after DDD and TFJ, and she realizes she has to DO something about the bad things in the world. For her, becoming a hero is sort of penance for the murders in DDD. For me, activism is just about doing what's right because it's right and I want to help people.

I'm also a lot more determined and harder to shake than she is when faced with resistance. Dove learns not to hesitate, but she doesn't exactly feel the same Fulfillment I get from standing my ground.

I think that's an Emancipatory Bleed though: we both feel liberated by peace, and the most ourselves when we're calm and collected.

Other emancipatory bleed probably comes from overcoming our struggles as teenagers, and "freeing" our sense of self from the fear that we'll become what we don't want to be.

Other procedural bleed: I don't think there's a lot of this. Ironically, I'm way better at hiding my emotions than Dove is, generally speaking. Dove's body language is pretty expressive, even if it's reserved. I guess we have that in common, at least; unless I'm at a concert or doing choreography, my body motions and gestures are pretty reserved. I sometimes creep people out with how still I can stand. Dove also doesn't like to hold eye-contact much, especially as a teen-- sure, she's nervous, but the reason she Avoids Eye-Contact with Most People is because it can accidentally activate her telepathy! I have no such nerves or telepathy.

I'm already halfway to burning out so I'll stop with Dove there, but mostly the bleed into Dove is with Azarath, our loved ones, and the energies.

--

Kary

Since I mentioned her before! There's actually not a lot of bleed at all into Kary; she's so different from me, usually polar opposite, that I have a hard time figuring out her reactions.

We both have the same calm, happy, peaceful emotional reaction to being in forests, we both love animals dearly, and Kary has my very strong sense of self and ethics. It doesn't align with my ethics much, but that sense of Fairness being important and feeling greatly betrayed when treated unfairly probably bled over from my own childhood.

Kary lies to herself a lot more than I do, though. Convincing herself something doesn't bother her, convincing herself she's not hurting (physically or emotionally), not admitting her feelings about someone else to herself unless they're Anger for a long time, etc.

Kary also has my trauma of being ostracized and bullied as a child, but while mine made me gentle and standoffish and deeply reserved, it made Kary sharp and ferocious. I defended myself by not caring; Kary defends herself by caring so much she stops it before it can happen.

--

Srentha

He's fun! And because he's so fun and optimistic and charming, you can tell there's not a whoooole lot of bleed, perception-wise. There's that connection to Azarath again, but Srentha's connection is much more with its primal mystical forces than its people/philosophies. (Though he still adheres to those religiously!)

Srentha's love for his magic was definitely a LITTLE bit bleed-y, but his passion and dedication to it are very different from my passive casual approach. It's an important part of both our lives, though. It's definitely his main "emancipatory" angle; he feels the most himself and free and fulfilled when he's working magic, especially inventively or creatively, discovering something new. I'm just happy to do my old favorites.

Srentha's SUPER physically expressive; his eyes and mouth and head angle and arm placement and angle of leaning all speak volumes, and loudly. He's also super vocal and talkative; while I can ramble if you hit my hyperfixation chords just right (I mean, this certainly counts as a ramble, right?), Srentha is a lot easier to get on a tangent and keep talking.

He's way more emotional, too. And he's way more positive than me. (I have to work for it. He's basically positive out of personality and habit.) Most of his emotions are Happy or Peaceful, but if he's afraid or depressed, you'll Know it. Very different from me.

I do think I bled some of my love of study into him, even if it's on different subjects entirely (though I do enjoy studying magic or occult history/etc, it's not with the whole-hearted dedication Srentha ALWAYS throws into magical studies.) Srentha's curiosity is insatiable, sometimes to the point of annoying people. I can be curious given the right subject, but he's ALWAYS curious about EVERYTHING.

We also have the very same "career" goal, but that's a private affair and I'm not even sure how to talk about that. tl;dr RETIREMENT.

He has an ultimate goal to retire so he can do his magic, though. I mostly want to travel, write, and spend time with my friends and chosen family. We do both want to publish something someday, but Srentha wants to publish something about being the last pure-blooded Azarathean ever, sort of a "maybe their legacy can continue on Earth" sort of thing, and I just want to publish fiction.

--

Leyla

I'm not sure what there is to bleed over into her, honestly. Connection to Azarath though neither of us have been there, maybe, and she also loves her magic. But Leyla's another one who's totally different from me. She's generally optimistic and while she seems very reserved on the surface, especially at first meeting, she opens up quickly and she can be every expressive when she has a chance/reason to express it.

She does have emet*phobia too, but she's both Much Harder to Trigger than me and Much Faster to Recover.

She's very studious! I forgot to mention that with Srentha actually; both he and Leyla love learning, which I do too. Leyla's is more any random facts; Srentha's is more magic, though he can get lost in a Wikipedia rabbit hole too given the chance; and I usually lean towards science or history or linguistics.

I have a much stronger sense of self and purpose than Leyla does. She doesn't doubt herself, but her identity is kinda more shifty, and she's never really sure what her Purpose is. Her mom is a hero and her dad has his magic, but her magic and powers aren't very strong, and while she does participate in heroing OCCASIONALLY, if it's not too dangerous, she can't really make her life on it.

She does love animals too, especially cats! But she's a lot less tolerant of the gross or otherwise unpleasant parts of pet ownership.

Oh, she's genderqueer! That's something that might've been bleed.

And she's very loyal, and she thrives when she feels the most at peace. (Though she does seek happiness moreso than peacefulness!)

Oh! Leyla's also very artistic. I used to be a lot more artsy, now I mostly just focus my creativity on writing, but Leyla looooves hands-on crafts and fashion.

That's about all my brain is providing and I'm tired so I'm running out of words, but I think that's a pretty good overview.

[fuckthisshxt]

Honestly I'm really struggling. I guess that's normal and to be expected considering what exactly happened but esp considering I've been thru stuff like this multiple times since I was young my brain wants to just jump to "yeah okay that happened. life happens. now continue on and get on with life" which I feel like a shitty person even typing that out but if I don't write it or smthn (cause I have literally no one safe/appropriate to say it to) but I don't want to be a shitty person that doesn't care about stuff like this I do care so much but also im hyperaware of the fact that I have to be the stong person and try to step up as much as i can even tho im really struggling too. But like however much I'm struggling I have to hide it and try to find rare times during the day where I'm alone and the boys won't notice if I'm thinking about tough stuff to even attempt to let myself actually think in detail about what happened because I mean its his mom not mine she wasn't even legally my mil but i called her that cause thats basically what she was legal paper or not I helped care for her the past 3 years. I cut her hair and I helped her when she had shingles and I was always happy to try to use what little we had to make as good of each meal as I could for her and I tried often to ask her how she'd prefer stuff in the future and I always tried to make sure we had like gravy or something when dinner included smthn she would get choked on cause the gravy helped it not stick in her throat. And I know she loved when I was able to make her cobblers. She wasn't personally MY mom but she was a nice woman and I'm happy I met her and got to spend what time I could with her.

I don't have anyone that I can talk to about this. I don't have that kind of relationship with my mom or sister. I don't have any friends, not really. I can't talk to him about it cause 1) obv he's hurting way worse than me and 2) he doesn't want to talk about it and bringing it up only makes things worse and makes him start crying again.

She fell the same day I made a call trying to get in touch with a therapist to see about maybe trying once a month sessions. She seems to have her own business as a therapist and her voicemail said to leave a message and I did and she still hasn't called back. I desperately hope she does. From what I could find about her online, she's queer and seems really cool and I desperately need another adult human to speak to esp a professional who also understands being queer and all the struggles that come with it.

Idk I just needed to type a little bit of this stit out