#but I've always thought of myself as a good reader and speller?
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actually making a concerted effort to learn written japanese (since I've learned a small amount of spoken already) and. oh boy did not realise how hard it is for my brain to learn new symbols
#not beating the dyslexia allegations here tbh#but like tbh i struggle to read even just fonts i don't normally read often#if an app changes its font it genuinely gets harder for me to read and use for a bit#but I've always thought of myself as a good reader and speller?#but now i have to wonder- was it just because i subconsciously implemented 'tricks' to help me deal with it easier so i didn't notice?#because learning a new language means absolutely none of those 'tricks' work#I've always felt like I've known the Shape of a word better than the actual content of letters making them up#most fonts have varying widths for different words right. except those kinds of typewriter fonts that make all letters evenly spaced#and i actually struggle to read typewriter fonts as quickly as i read like. basic sans serif arial-adjascent fonts#i actually prefer to do edit work in courier BECAUSE it forces me to read my own work slower#holy shit i googled 'courier font' and now the whole page is in courier thats kinda cool#also everyone says i spell really well in texts and things#what you dont know is that 90% of my hesitation with sending a message is just doing about 50 rereads to check for errors#(i Have to check it that many times cause otherwise i Will miss something and i Hate making typos)#(bc everyone makes fun of me for making typos and i do not like jokes being made out of misinterpreting me on purpose)#is there a dyslexia quiz that doesn't solely ask about your spelling and reading levels#like there's gotta be other symptoms than just being a slow reader what if you just brute forced reading fast somehow#i also didn't realise i was dyscalculic because i had to use so many similar Tricks to get me through math#and then algebra hit and i haven't passed a math class since......#like maybe i didn't notice i was dyslexic until i hit a barrier where my tricks just stopped working for me#like reading letters that aren't shaped the way I'm used to or learning a new language with different rules#i still have a vendetta against the Fancy lowercase a that just looks like an upside down e trying to read it makes me angry
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