#but I'm healed enough that I'm able to tell the story without feeling extremely sad it's funny looking back on it

[youkah]

okay so I'm probably delusional in thinking that Frimomen will be announced for a release this soon after synth v 2's launch, I know the other companies are already announcing new vocals for SV and vocals that came out less than a year ago are already announced to have upgrades coming soon, but I feel like ? I hope at least that his synth v bank got him a lot more traction.

I didn't know about frimomen until literally the day his synth v released (though sometimes I feel like he's been with me just as long as miku. icl), but when I go down my deep dives for content, I do notice there's a lot less content before his synth v bank was announced, there were slightly more fan posts talking about him with his voicepeak release from what I've seen, but I think last year he took off. my friends who have known about him a lot longer seem to think the same so that's why I'm speculating that he'll be announced for SV2 tomorrow or at least on his anniversary

The reason I think it's either tomorrow (April 1st for japan, ik it's still march 30 here but timezones lol) is because of him being used for most AHS april fool's jokes over the years, so I don't think it's super unlikely for him to be announced. that being said that's also Teto's 16th anniversary, so it's possible that instead AHS announces him on April 25th which was the day he released last year... so I'm hoping... HOPING... that we get an announcement. I doubt there'd be many demos or anything I know usually there's like four? to eight??? months between announcement/release, ik his release was pushed back due to staff illness though. anyway I'm iffy about an april first announcement because of teto/the nature of april fool's jokes in general by companies (though I don't think it's still out of the question), but I feel like the 25th for SURE has to be a related announcement because it's the one year anniversary...

Another reason why I think frimomen might be announced soon is because of the amount of traction he has on twitter, he regularly interacts with + follows back his followers, I've had a lot of interactions with him and recently he's been letting loose and feeding into the yaoi dreams of the frimokiyo shippers since kiyo released so the PR team DEFINITELY knows what the frimofans want and they're great in engaging with the fandom (I mentioned kou-sensei sharing my birthday and he immediately wished me happy birthday like they KNOW what their fans look for LOL)

now onto my wants for SV2 frimomen. first I want to talk about my issues with his sv1 bank because I've had some since the beginning, but I do really think most of it boils down to not knowing how successful he'd be commercially so I understand not wanting to put as much dev time as they could into the bank (I truly don't think the staff delay has had any impact on it though it was most likely unfortunate coincidence, to my knowledge AHS is a small company so it makes sense).

My first issue is compared to the other AI banks I used in both SV1 and SV2, there's a noticable difference in his vocoding quality. now I'm not too picky in general about vocoding quality! I don't think it makes or breaks a bank (in fact I think some banks are weird with it too high, like realistic kafu is odd to me), however sometimes it can make mixing certain songs hard. I prefer it when the vocoding is high quality in many cases and it's not even about realism it's literally just because mixing is a nightmare at times and a voice with lq vocoding can be infuriating at times. however I do think the sv2 vocoding quality is much better so thankfully that is something that seems to be solved, it was my biggest issue.

however now that I might end up becoming an sv2 main (didn't think that would happen but 24 hours into messing with the demo I discovered genbu's increased powers lmfao), I dooooo want him to get an sv2 bank because there are some things in the engine that I want to try out with him but are incompatible with sv1 banks, like the advanced editing for vocal modes. I also really dislike how hard it is to edit his phonemes in both sv1 and 2 so it's something I hope that is improved on. I think he's also scarily good at falsetto already however if we have a bassmen mode I'd like to request a falsetto/frimotan setting and it could be called kawaiimen bc I feel like that's in character for him lol. I also feel like in general his bank doesn't mesh too well with the ai model for the rap setting and I want that to be fixed.

another thing is I'll be honest I'm not sure if this is normal for most banks but it is kinda sad that he has no updates since he got released for sv1, he's still on 1.0. I'm guessing though it's definitely because he was one of the last sv1 banks to release and by the time he released iirc they announced sv2 development so I'm like pretty sure it's related to that. but it makes me wonder if they were planning on any updates but decided to wait until sv2's release/they were done with miki and kiyo and then return to it afterwards. that's another reason why I'm thinking he will be announced soon, because I doubt that they intended it to be a one and done deal with no updates.

some smaller requests that aren't too serious:

I actually really like it when voice banks have accents in their xsl, and I adore genbu's slight accent when I use him in english, so I think it'd be nice if frimomen could have more of an accent, though I feel that's more to do with the way the xsl ai model works than the recordings/banks themselves.

if they do add more vocal modes, along with the falsetto voice I think it'd be cool if they wanted to listen to the fans begging on twitter (mostly me I've noticed from name searching lmfao) for a frimotan vocal mode, they could make a separate one so that it's easier to get her! akira, frimomen's voice provider, has said publicly he wants to voice frimotan more often so there's still hope <- delusional maybe

in the 4koma comics he has a brother named frimomen 2 that is just him but in a black macho suit. I think it would be really funny if they didn't commission muni and maruan and just recoloured his og synth v box art to be frimomen 2. but also at the same time muni and maruan are The frimo illustrators to me so I don't want that to happen if that would snub them of more money. especially maruan they are frimomen's creator and I love seeing that they still illustrate for ahs <3

I hope that they commission akira koga for more art of frimomen as a celebration for his release because he really does enjoy voicing frimomen and also his art is really good and I want to see more of it I get sad that he rarely if ever posts it

and finally if they keep bringing on different artists that white wash him in official art I'm going to go insane he literally has a flat colour ref I'll kill someone.

sorry for my frimoramble I had a lot more to say I think than I thought I did LOL but I hope you guys understand. tldr frimomen is important to me for many reasons, not only did he completely reignite my love for vocal synths and music production in general but also he genuinely helped me get out of a horrible situation and I'm not kidding lol. too personal to say here but I'll probably say it in yet Another post.

although I'm annoyed that people only like frimomen's ikeoji design and hate everything else about him and ignore that and aren't true frimoheads (/lh), I am glad that AHS was smart and made ikeoji frimomen real. because if he wasn't and my gay ass didn't get duped by a sexy middle aged man with huge tits I wouldn't have gone back into the vocal synth community to this extent. so thanks I guess to AHS for creating an insane guy that caters to my exact tastes LOL

[revalition]

OCT 15 - ENDURANCE Take the blows. Don’t let the world kill you.

Endurance!! I don't love him, but that's okay. He's just not as interesting to me as the others, and spearheads the fascist questline. that definitely does him no favours. but I do cherish all the skills nonetheless, including him

Quotes under the cut!

endurance fun facts from my spreadsheet:

- swear score of 8 - damages and heals an equal amount of morale - says "we" more than "I" (almost double) - Endurance says "sorry" just once, when you're about to die

the heart attack endurance quotes are really really sad. which makes them excellent. but it's too painful for me to look at and I want to be able to use these posts as references so they're being omitted!

anyway, endurance quotes!

endurance definitely directing the blame back up to the intellect group here haha

this is so funny to me. endurance begrudgingly letting you have both kim and dora in his hypothetical aerostatic

I wasn't sure if I should give this one to endurance or PT, but I really like it. lovingly adorn him in a ceramic shell

your stomach doing his job well

uhm, is that how it works honey?

what is wrong with this skill?? (so, so many things)

see, there's 'what's wrong with him' said with utmost affection, like when I look at electrochemistry. and then there's without the affection. that's the version endurance gets. sorry my guy

(if you have your badge he confirms it's not your birthday haha) just the idea of harry asking one of his own skills if it's his birthday...

this heartwarming dialogue about being sober! I'm pretty sure it's not implemented in the game but I love it all the same.

this is a godly endurance check for some reason?? (maybe it's a fail? I can't tell on Fayde...)

endurance no! they're all idiots...

hghh endurance ew

this is too funny. tutorial agent not you too...!

this is so totally not here just because volition said it (picking "wait, get who back?" immediately damages volition btw, poor bby) ultramarathon is such a funny nickname. fitting enough, I suppose.

endurance is so stupid...

also endurance compromised!

amazing. ty endurance. I'm sure that's making Harry feel better

alternate:

YOU - Oh my god, I'm going to die! ENDURANCE - Yeah, probably, one day. But not this very minute.

endurance knowing what a focal epileptic seizure is and where it's occurring and then just going i'unno when asked if it's dangerous... why is he like this.

also you're *probably* going to die one day? cmon buddy

instead of asking why, you can also say:

YOU - Don't you sass me. Get on with the story.

hehe. Zone of Irredeemable Catastrophe! :(

of course your gut does, it has to do with gary... savvy having no interest in it is wonderful

as always much love for this infra-materialism book shutting down everyone's methods of thinking (except inland's)

running reservoirs haha. extremely rare polite endurance

I *think* I understand what he's trying to say... Volition has it right. Sometimes you need to be unmade to heal.

stupid endurance...

seagull dialogue has to be in here cause it's awesome. the body remembers... (also endurance saying good boy??)

first endurance line is the antipassive (failure) and the second one is the success. I don't think he's super impressed...

this is so random, just in the middle of talking to klaasje on the first day. uhm good job endurance...

what a normal, straight thing to think! all the skills chiming in on the smoker is so funny to me

don it and live!!

I have two screenshot spots left so here are my WIPs :)

he's just in the background in the banner one (the second one). I think he came out pretty cool in the spring storm one though (first one)

that's it! endurance is my least favourite of the fys skills by a landslide. I'm very excited for the rest of them :)

[blindbeta]

Different anon here! I have a character who's blindness is incident related, but it's been several years since then and the story isn't heavily focused on his trauma (or at least that specific trauma, as he has others that aren't related to blindness)

This was before I knew injury-based blindness was a harmful/potentially harmful trope though, so now I'm worried that I'll have to rewrite his backstory entirely to avoid writing about experiences I don't have, or pushing any harmful tropes that are already pushed far too much.

What do you think? Could I still use that as part of his story without focusing too much on that specific traumatic event, or do you think it's better for me to discard it entirely?

The Accident Narrative/Going Blind Through Trauma trope and How to Make It Better - (I’m just calling it that because I don’t know if this thing has a name)

My problem with this trope - and the problem many people have with it- is very specific. I’ll try to break it down for you so it is easier to understand. My problem is basically with the execution.

Characters go blind unrealistically often from traumatic accidents in media. Mainly because it creates a lot of drama, which is fair, if cheap. It is also a good story starter if the story will be about them being all sad that they’re blind. These stories usually focus heavily on the blind part rather than the trauma part, and they paint blindness as the worst thing that can happen to anyone. Including death. Sometimes the character grows out of this feeling and sometimes they don’t.

The way you portray this is what changes the narrative.

I like that your story takes place several years after the incident although how well it is done will depend on the portrayal of the resulting blindness. Blindness can be tough, but avoiding considering the incident a tragedy that ended his vision could help. Not having too much of a woe-is-me attitude toward it will also help. Starting the story years after the incident creates beneficial distance.

With this in mind, the story won’t be - about - him going blind and then adapting and possibly being sad, possibly not sad about it. That would be a type of story that is probably best left to blind people who lost their vision later in life. Your story avoids this issue by starting the story well after the incident occurred. When you said you didn’t want to write about something you hadn’t experienced, to tell a story that wasn’t yours to tell, this is what you want to avoid. If you aren’t writing about going blind/being blind, you’re good, at least for this question.

So, you have avoided writing about the experience of going blind (and having that be the focus of your story) and starting the story at another time so your character can have some distance from his trauma. Your story will not be showing your character tragically losing his sight and learning to adapt. -dramatic sniffle-

The other part of this ask that really works for me is the part about focusing on different traumas. It sounds like the character is going to have more to them, and the idea of the Blindness Trauma being not as significant as other more recent traumas sounds good and true to life. It also takes the focus away from any implications of blindness as particularly tragic and all-encompassing. Your character will expirience different things just as anyone else would. Focusing more heavily on other things in his life is a good idea. That, coupled with the distance from the initial traumatic incident makes it okay with me.

What else can you do?

Here are a few other options for you or other readers who are writing incident-related blindness:

1. Have them focus on the traumatic incident itself rather than the resulting blindness.

Yes, going blind can change your life. It can be scary and someone may need to grieve their vision loss as they would any other major change. However, this doesn’t have to be the dramatic take-up-an-entire story thing either.

If you decided to write flashbacks, you can show the character mostly dealing with trauma, with blindness as a reminder of it. This puts the focus on the traumatic incident itself healing from trauma rather than trying to heal from blindness. When sighted people write about this, it comes out as awkward, not relatable, and impossible to separate voice-type things - like worrying about never being able to marry - from the authors own opinion or worries about blindness.

Focusing on the trauma of say, extreme injury can help with that. It is important to make a distinction for the reader, who usually goes in not knowing much about blindness and conceptualizing it as one of the worst things that could happen to them. Make it as clear as you can that the character is upset due to trauma rather than being devastated their life is over because they are blind.

2. Have the trauma happen off-screen / have them not remember it much due to young age

It sounds like this is also what you’re going to do. You could mention the traumatic incident briefly, without too many dramatic details. A few descriptive sentences should be enough. You could write it for reference and only take a few samples from it you liked. This keeps the focus away from drama for drama’s sake. It also disrupts the usual narrative, putting you farther away from the Accident Narrative or trope. You could simply have had the character be too young to remember much detail.

3. Add more blind characters

This one is good for any story. You should always trace your logic for topics like the one you presented or consider how to do things better, but one easy way to avoid readers thinking all blind people are like your character (which they might), you can add another blind character or more who were born blind or went blind at a very young age. Who don’t struggle with being blind generally. This exposes your readers to more ideas of blind people.

When your story is standing on the line between nuanced character and meeting a stereotype, you should absolutely have at least one other if not a few blind characters. In fact, I would be surprised if a story like this didn’t have other blind characters and, if I were reading this story randomly, I might even feel less forgiving or open to what was different about the Accident Narrative this time.

Thank you for asking this question. It is kind of challenging to answer and I had to rewrite this a few times. Basically, you want to do what you can to disrupt the usual portrayals of blindness because there are actually so few and most are made by people who aren’t blind or even disabled. You cannot make this trope or stereotype go away, but you can try to shake it up. Because this can be done differently, to avoid writing about adapting the tragic blindness, I am ok with this type of story.

I don’t know if this one is harmful exactly, but it is frustrating to see and can certainly lead to some harmful ideas, such as blindness only being tragic even when someone was born blind. I have a review coming up for a book called Blind that might be helpful, as well as a post called Tropes I’m Tired Of that I hope will help. Your ask definitely helped me consider more ways this trope could be made more bearable and concentrate on what exactly I dislike about it.

All that said, this is not a post encouraging people to use this narrative in all their projects. Only if you feel like it is necessary and fits the character. I would like for this trope to be less common than being born blind or going blind in a way that isn’t so dramatic and, possibly, abrupt. When most characters go blind through traumatic accidents it contributes to people’s idea that blindness is not only traumatic for anyone at any age, but also cannot be anything but a tragedy.

I really hope this helps. Of course, I would really encourage a few different sensitivity readers with this story. Just to get different perspectives. There is another blind person who also offers sensitivity reading at @sensitivityreaders and it might help to get them or someone else, in addition to me. Because I would love to read this sometime.

-BlindBeta

[nice-kill-tanaka]

May I have a my hero and ohshc matchup plz

I'm a short girl around 5'2 with long brown hair and eyes and a leo. I like anime,dragons,reptiles,drawing but I'm not good,tarantulas,sweets,video games, memes,dark humor. I am very kind but I care more about others than I do myself. I have bad anxiety. I tend to overthink about everything. I love to sing especially country music but I am tone deaf. I have trouble standing up for myself because I was bullied alot. I can be very blunt. I also love to swear. I can be very loud. I love a good mystery and cop shows. I love dad jokes and puns.I am terrified of bees and heights. I am very lazy but I can be good at doing stuff if motivated. I have a very kind heart and sad stories or ones with very happy endings make my heart happy or hurt like crazy. But even though I'm kind that doesn't mean i am nice all the time. I am extremely grumpy and have a short temper especially on no sleep or if I just woke up. I also do have adhd and some anxiety I dont like being touched randomly unless I know it will happen or if I touch someone. As for dreams I'm not sure I wanna be a voice actor but not too sure if its right for me as I don't know how to edit or even have the equipment. I want someone who can just listen to me as I ramble on about things I love. I want someone to understand that I think differently then normal people. I also want someone to be able to understand im not the most affectionate person but I can be if given time but I will help someone if they are touch starved like I am.

[🌄 @cutelittleriot requested one (1) regular My Hero Academia matchup. I have just the ingredients for that! Sit tight while I get to work.🌌]

YAYYY!! First bnha matchup!! I gotchu bud 👍 I’m thinking about trying something new for the bnha fandom in particular. So, I’ll try it out and see what you think! Also, I got a little carried away with this one, so if it doesn’t seem characteristically accurate to you, please tell me!! 😖

And, the lucky person is:

⛰Eijiro Kirishima⛰

Quirk: Dragon

Dragon is a mutation quirk. It manifests slowly over time, until the user becomes about 60% dragon-esque at around 15/16 years old.

Scales and tough skin appear on the arms, legs, and face. Sharp teeth and claws grow in. Horns protrude from the forehead. A tail grows from the spine. Finally, wings grow from the back.

Flesh becomes twice as tough in places where scales are.

Depending on the user’s body type, wing usage is limited. (Since you’re generally shorter than average, “flying” and gliding comes easier to you.)

When the user consumes pressurized carbon dioxide, their stomach converts it into flammable gasses. Which allows the user to breathe- er...burp...fire.

Fire must be carefully used however. The smoke produced can accidentally be breathed in, causing lung damage.

🌱Humble Beginnings🌱

I’ll start by saying this: Being bullied is never fun. Being bullied over something you can’t easily control or change? Rub salt in it, why don’tcha?

You weren’t sure what the select few kids in your grade thought was so hilarious about your quirk. But, they managed to find enough wrong with it to do their damage for most of your time in school

First, the patches of scales that showed up on your skin were “too weak”. Then, your awkward transition stage with growing horns, wings, and tail was suddenly “ugly”

By the time your quirk fully manifested, the jeers finally devolved to “freak-ish”

Like a river carving out the Grand Canyon, the work was slow and wore you down over time. But, the impact was a lot bigger than even you’d initially thought

While you managed to somewhat heal and learned to guard your emotions against such hurtful things, that’s all you learned to do: Guard yourself. You were a shield with no spear, since you never fought back

With the help of supportive parents and teachers, your self-esteem wasn’t so low, but you did often downplay or underestimate your abilities

Like, Bitch??? You can burp fire??? Know your power???

The people you were on good terms with seemed to see a potential that you either disregarded, or didn't know about all together

They saw the way you treated others with consideration and forethought. How, despite (or because of) your anxiety, you remained hyper-aware of the problems of others and how to accommodate. And while your anger did have its vices, people knew how hot your righteous rage could burn

It actually took a lot of convincing for you to even apply to U.A. 

Outside of your other aspirations for the future, you didn’t particularly feel worthy for the job. Of anything you could be, you weren’t a fearless, upstanding, unshakable individual, not even giving a second thought to throwing yourself into danger for the good of others. You weren’t your alleged definition of a hero, and that was enough to deter you

But, whenever you recited your polite (well-rehearsed) decline, most gave you the same weirdly optimistic retort:

“Just try, maybe you’ll do better than you’re giving yourself credit for.”

So, here you were at an entrance exam full of people you hardly knew, wondering how you even rationalized to yourself that this would go just fine

The written exam went okay. As well as you could for literally guessing what to study to pass

All you had to do was do your best on the physical exam, and you’d be done for the day

But, your issue was in the people around you, not the exam itself

You were aware of the high amount of attention the moment you walked onto campus. The way other kids measured you up from a distance, studying everything about your not-so-human body. Watching your every move, especially the way your movements were strained from soreness (A short period of intense training tends to do that to you). You assumed they also wanted to see if your disposition was as powerful as your quirk suggested

((You specifically noticed a coltish, green-haired kid muttering to himself, questioning if your wings could actually support your body weight))

Even now, as the prospective heroes-in-training warmed up, you felt the stares burning into you

Half of you wanted to lift your eyes and rhetorically ask what the hell they were looking at, only feeling more annoyed as you snorted and returned to what you were doing. The other half wanted to fold into yourself until you disappeared (If only it were that easy)

But, you had enough (Roughly, one billion) worries on your mind to put confrontation on the list. Shaking off your anxious shivers as you lowered your head and continued with your “stretches” seemed so much easier

(A.k.a. Staring off into space as you held your limbs in awkward positions)

The time to begin the physical test was drawing near, and your self-doubt hadn’t eased up. Maybe this was a mistake. You didn’t belong here. Not when so many other students could fill the space you’re wasting so much better. Maybe if you slipped through the back now, you’d save yourself the disappointment of not living up to your own standards

“Hey, brown-haired girl! With the horns!”

You heard a gruff whisper from not to far behind you, from the left. You tensed for a moment, wondering what the voice could possibly want from you. But, the sight you saw was rather unexpected

The voice definitely matched the body, bulky and slightly rough looking, a little taller than you. Matched with a sweet face, sharp teeth, and bright, spiky, red hair. The smile he showed you instantly calmed your thoughts

“…Hm?”

You gave a short response, not wanting to jump to conclusions yet

“I saw you looking kinda psyched out over here, so I thought talking to you would make you less nervous!”

You felt a warm and fuzzy sensation in the pit of your stomach. As much encouragement as you got to achieve things, you didn’t see much of it to consider how you felt. How you could feel better. You liked it, which was surprising, considering the encouragement came from a perfect stranger

“Oh, uhh…thanks then. But, I’m fine, I promise! I’m no more nervous than you are.”

“Well, that’s also why I came to talk…I’m kinda freaking out too…”

This boy’s transparency was almost scary, but on the other hand, very comforting. You didn’t catch him trying to stare at your mutated parts once as you talked. Your eyes were the thing he seemed the most focused on, and while it made you embarrassed, it was the good kind (if that makes sense)

But, soon enough, the announcement for the beginning of the exam came over the loudspeaker, and you and your acquaintance had to look out for yourselves. But, before you parted ways, the redhead turned to you

“I’m Eijiro Kirishima, by the way! See you when I see you, Shortie!”

🌳Flourishing Love🌳

The beginning of Kirishima seeing you as a romantic option happened not too long after parting ways at the physical exam

He was almost completely cornered by one of the machines students could disarm for points. And just as that was happening, you had just turned the corner after shaking off another one

You saw Kirishima, but he definitely didn’t see you, trying hard to look tough, but struggling to stand his ground

It quickly dawned on you that Kirishima didn’t have a quirk that could easily deal with the hostile device. And if he did, he was too scared to use it

You vetoed the idea of charging in head on first. You didn’t feel like getting yourself or Kirishima hurt. Especially without a plan. You needed to be smart about getting your only acquaintance out of this situation

Your heart raced and your execution was all but clean, but you ended up using your fire breath to weld the robot’s wheels to the concrete

Before you let your inhibitions get the better of you, you climbed the machine and punched out the camera on the front. From atop the beast, you hung your tail over the edge low enough for Kirishima to grab. You didn’t dare look down at the ground

“Dammit Eijiro, grab on!!”

Once you felt a weight on your tail, you used your wings to propel you both forward. Obviously, away from the robot

You were too high on adrenaline and fear to notice, but Kirishima stared at you like you were the embodiment of Heaven on Earth. The stars in his eyes almost seemed inappropriate for the situation 😅

You looked just as—if not more—afraid than he was. But, you seemed so okay with the fact that you weren’t fearless, and acted like a true hero anyway. He admired, dare I say loved that about you

And he didn’t even know your name

As soon as you found out that you and Kirishima were in the same class, you felt instant relief. At least you were familiar with someone at U.A.

You guys’ friendship developed rather fast, like and extrovert adopting an introvert

Kirishima quickly noticed how fast you opened up once you got comfortable around him, and loved you all the more for how bright and vibrant the unfiltered you was

He found himself picking up on your sense of humor, telling dad jokes you whisper under your breath to the Bakusquad (Much to Bakugou’s dismay 😅)

Don’t worry, he always gives you the credit 😉

As time went on, Kirishima learned to appreciate how blunt you were. He realized that he needed someone to tell it like it is (“It isn’t manly to sugarcoat things! 😤” he says)

And while Kirishima prefers physical activities over video games, he loves to hype you up while you play before classes

It was only natural a mutual crush would form :D

Kirishima finally worked up the guts to ask you out after the U.S.J. Incident

You and him had gotten separated (You had gotten trapped with the cold son of Endeavor. And you both took out the villains with an awe-inspiring display of fire and ice)

Kirishima was faced with the reality that either of you could lose each other at any moment. And while both of you came out alright, he realized he couldn’t be wishy-washy about his feelings for you

He told you on your way to school the next morning:

“Look. What happened yesterday really scared me. Normally, I wouldn’t say that, but I think you deserve to know. Because…you mean a lot to me!! More than I can put into words. I love when we have fun together, and I don’t know what I’d do with myself if I never got to tell you how I felt…”

“Basically…I like you!! Like…in the romantic way…”

Your early morning grumpiness dissipated almost instantly, replaced by momentary confusion and disbelief, then embarrassment and joy. Was this really happening…? The boy that took a chance on you since the beginning, confessed that he had feelings for you…? Even though you didn’t question your relationship, you always assumed the nice things Kirishima said, the way he looked at you, was all part of the pleasantries. You questioned if you were even worth all of that

‘But you are.’ The little voice Kirishima helped you develop said. ‘And he would say more if he didn’t look so embarrassed.’

And so, you accepted Kirishima’s confession. And he saw the sweetest smile you had ever given him since the first time he complimented your puns 😊❤️

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

[🌌 There you go bud! That’s one matchup for the road. Hopefully it lasts for a while, but if it doesn’t, feel free to come back! I’d be thrilled to see you again.🌄] —Reagan

[kyutown]

Good evening my liege! 💖 I was intrigued to find out about you while diving deeper into tumblr hell so, I am here with a plead to ship me with nct and svt, of you'd be so kind ✨

Alright so for starters, I'm an infp! I'm a generally well-mannered person with people I meet for the first time, borderline sweet and awkward at the same time. I like not to overinvest in first meetings with people and sometimes I think I am somewhat defensive of myself. My emotions always show on my face, both the good and the bad ones. So if someone does say something that I find offensive or whatnot, it SHOWS. I generally hate rude and offensive people all together, as well as people who are vulgar if we're not well acquainted first.

I'm not good at starting conversations and I usually just tend to listen to my friends talk most of the time. It's not like I have nothing to say but I really like listening to my favorite people ramble on about things they love or generally talk about their lives. Im a pretty good listener and I am always objective, even with my family. I won't hold back and I will give you my honest opinion in every case. I always try to see from all perspectives, maybe that's why I'm often somewhat indecisive.

That being said, I really don't shut up about things I love or my hobbies. I'm usually the mood maker of the group as I hate conflict and tension. I am a very sarcastic and cynical person in general and that reflects on my humor, which can vary from vulgar to very dark and inappropriate. Yes, the type of person that will try to hold in their laughter cause I made a mental joke to a funeral. I love witty, stimulating and deep conversations. I'm not that big on casual chitchat but it's okay most of the time I guess.

I'm the personification of open-minded and im also quite opinionated and I can back up my arguments if needed but I tend to avoid getting into heated conversations cause again, my mind reads it as tension. I love being around friends doing nothing and everything but most of the time, I find alone time to be very healing for my mind and soul. I find authenticity and weird little quirks that people have extremely attractive. I'm somewhat stubborn as well.

I also used to have stress and anxiety issues, not anything serious but enough that I had trouble sleeping at night. It was just a few years ago that I decided to not care about every single thing and have a more of a "fuck that" approach in life and honestly, I've never imagined that it would be so liberating. I regained my confidence, physically and mentally, it was an empowering process! I really do believe that self-exploring and healing is the no1 most important thing that someone can do. Love yourself first and foremost and fck what anybody thinks.

So, moving on xD I am a romantic and soft deep down, even though I try not to show sad emotions when around people. But you can be sure I cry at random rescuing dog videos, or videos with people helping each other. I love humanity but hate it at the same time? 😂 Idk if that makes sense, it is what I feel lol I love to learn new random stuff! I'm currently studying linguistics and uni and I aim to be a translator or interpreter, cause i love languages and the cultural differences that come with it. Hence my undying love for music of different genres and languages! Music relaxes me and I couldn't imagine going on without it for more than 3 days. While I do tend to listen to kpop which is more upbeat and experimental, I also LOVE Latin music and rock. I love love traveling around the world! My hobbies include drawing which I'm self taught, fashion and creative writing! I tend to daydream A LOT during the day and so many ideas pop up in my head. I love exploring other cultures' religions and beliefs as well as mythology. I always found it fascinating. I love plants as well! My room is basically a garden xD I also love mystical but also borderline creepy and gory stuff xD I call skulls "pretty" the same way I would call a puppy "cute" 🤣 I'm aware οf that but I can't help but enjoy the look of horror in people's faces xD

oh, I really enjoy observing people as well! Not in a weird way! Their mannerisms, the way they speak, their features. I also love thriller and horror movies the most as well as dark social drama ones. You know, with murders, suicides etc I like how in even the tiniest ways they depict our society as people and frankly, it's sad but I try to be optimistic and keep a positive approach in life. I also really appreciate stand-up comedy xD

Closing up this huge essay, some last things xD I, and I cannot stress this enough, am unable to flirt. Like at all. I can't even maintain eye contact for more than two Seconds. I wish I was kidding. Sadly I'm not 😂Weird thing is, turns out I am actually able to flirt but I'm not aware I'm doing it?? I'm a master at text flirting apparently lololol. What I am, is also called DENSE AS SHIT when it comes to couple things. True story, if you want to do the freaky with your s/o and you need me to leave the room you better TELL ME RIGHT TO MY FACE or else, we gon be there aaaaall night xD And its actually a remarkable feature of mine, considering how dirty minded I usually am lol

I also think I'm touch starved sometimes, like I really like hugs and cuddling and teasing but I'm not gonna ask for it🥺I'm a night owl and I tend to procrastinate a lot. I can't work efficiently if there's not a deadline, like I need that pressure on me in order to function xD My weak spot is actually to act whiny and needy and cutely in front of me. I can do ANYTHING that u ask me of when this happens. And if I show any resistance, JUST KEEP IT UP. I'm jelly on the floor when this happens. Idfk why, it just works?? My sister is abusing the sht out of this method 😭I can't say I make friends easily, cause I believe I do come off as maybe off-putting or weird at times, plus as I said if you're really cant shove your conversation in my face the first time we meet, imma be just an awkward ball of giggles and smiles and "can I go home now pls" 🤣 My general aesthetic / vibes would be sunsets on beaches, soft grunge, cottage core, lofi and hedge witch aesthetics!

Okay so, I think that's everything and probably way more than u needed, so thank you for reading everything my stupid ass wrote❤️

hi! thank you for responding!

for nct, i think yuta would be a nice fit! yuta also likes rock as his favorite band is one ok rock which is a rock band. i feel like you guys would always listen to music (not always rock) and would enjoy making time go by like this!

for seventeen, i think you would match well with the8! the8 would be the type to enjoy exploring new cultures with you and new religions, he would also love to dress up with you and put together outfits with you!

[anyu-blue]

I'm surprised not to see an answer as to why the sads...

(Disclaimer: please understand this is not the perfect explanation... This is MY story and experience and I've just tried to make it make as much sense to the average person as possible XP

An extra important aside here-- my issues were caused by allergies and sensitivities. Many of the same issues can and are often caused by people not feeding themselves and their gut bacteria well enough. Proper nutrients to meet your specific needs are important for every part of your body!!))

I used to be constantly anxious and uncomfortable and also often having pain in my lower abdomen. Went to many doctors who all wrote it off as uterine cramping and ruptured cysts (even when I had no cysts because they're managed by medication).

Then I ran into a doctor who actually gave a flying fuck when I mentioned the pain and was experiencing memory loss alongside it (the pain I'd had for years, the memory loss was new), and diagnosed me with acute colitis... And got me on a path to learning why I had it.

One course of heavy antibiotics, allergy pills, a dietician, and a gut specialist later... And OOF. Anxiety eventually turned out to be pins and needles feeling in my intestines from the inflammation/white cells attacking said inflammation that onions and garlic (two staples of many foods I was eating) and MANY other foods was causing me.

Long, long story short... The bacteria in my gut CAN break down enzymes found in onions and garlic for example... BUT the kind of bacteria I have and what it breaks them down into doesn't mesh well with my absorby cells (kinda like I'm allergic? to the end product). Causing pain and inflammation and subsequent depression and anxiety/constant butterflies in stomach feeling because something was wrong.

So basically... What you're feeding your bacteria- whatever kinds and numbers you have in your gut- can play a large part in how you're feeling because of how it works with your body to break down everything and WHAT it breaks those foods down into. Things you might even be sensitive and/or allergic to!

Many people don't realize- and how could they?- they're sensitive to certain things (like molecules/enzymes/what have you) because those things only appear from totally innocuous foods when broken down by the natural process of going through the gut and their specific biome. How could they know when a tummy sensitivity's only symptom may be major sads or anxiety (and no pain at all)?? We're not generally taught about how anxiety and depression can be our body just trying desperately to tell us something is wrong in another place in our body (usually the gut) 😅

The GOOD news is there is a database on foods and things that commonly cause issues with the gut (and subsequently the head). And many people can pinpoint what things generally make their issues flare up.

The BAD news is it takes time and patience to learn for yourself... And is generally a good idea to do under a Doctor's and dietician's supervision.

I got lucky because I have my state's insurance and had access to these professionals... And It was determined I have no wheat allergy - so I was able to do an extremely bland diet safely for a few weeks to allow my system to heal/calm down... And then started introducing potentially triggering foods one by one (and backing off into that bland diet) to figure out just what I'm sensitive (and allergic) to. This should NOT be done without supervision or determination of some major allergens. It takes TIME. And if not done PROPERLY can leave you malnourished and sicker than when you started... Which can permanently damage your mind further.

Healing from a lifetime of an inadequate diet can also take a lifetime too. I certainly wasn't anxiety free the first day... And when I eat onions and garlic in any capacity (especially on accident because it's a seasoning for EvErYtHiNg), I always need to be prepared to have pain and bad days. But at least I know why it's there and I can be gentle with myself 😊

Because if be remiss if I didn't provide some details as to how I got better --

IF you have a doctor to work with you- you can add them to this free app on Google play I used in place of the paid app and main database from Monash University (which if you can afford it, look into it instead!!!).

(The app can be used to also just keep track of what you're eating too if you're not trying to sort any triggers out. It has a function to allow you to go back and see if your meals are adequate by way of how you feel-- and it can kick some people into gear in realizing meals of Dr Pepper and a handful of chips isn't going to make the happy last long at all :T )

FODMaP stuff isn't just for people with IBS... Everyone can have issues with food and not know it. IBS just means you feel it more/faster 😅

The gut is an amazing and complicated thing... And so is learning how to take care of it...

For example FODMAP stands for:

Fermentable 

Oligosaccharides

Disaccharides

Monosaccharides

And

Polyols

If you've made it this far and have major anxiety/sads....I recommend looking into these things and talking with a doctor/dietician as soon as you can. It's not a guaranteed cure, but it CAN help a major amount.

your mentality is literally a result of intestinal bacteria but you wouldnt get it tho. yuor bacteria wouldnt get it

[imnotanybody]

To the one reading this, may you finally breathe and freely cry without having to explain your pain. 🦋

Photo taken at Pinto Art Museum

As a child, I would remember myself sitting on the floor of my locked room, sometimes, inside my closet, crying and heavily breathing. I could hardly recall the specific reasons for my tears, but all I know is that I was in deep pain, so deep that it nearly teared up my heart literally. I could somehow only recall that the ultimate cause of my pain was my inability to conquer frustrations in my life (yes, even as a kid, I had my fair share of life frustrations) as well as lack of encouragement from the people I looked up to.

My mom and dad would knock on my door, at times, insistently, so I would open it. When they saw me, putting my best efforts to wear a straight face and hide any traces of tears, they would ask, "Bakit ka ba umiiyak? Ano ba ang problema mo, anak?” I would also remember that out of frustration, my dad would forcefully bring me outside our house, lock the front door to prevent me from coming in as a punishment, because I couldn't stop crying. Don't get me wrong. My dad wasn’t a bad father. He loved and continue to love us dearly. It's just that he didn't want to see us crying without any reason. Para kasing tantrums lang. I totally understood him.

But to date, unbeknownst to the people present at that moment, I had my reason -- I got hurt by an insult that made me question, even up to know, my self-worth.

I grew up with many such like episodes in my life - as a kid, a teenager, and even as a young adult. I would cry because I heard someone close to me said that I'm stupid, that I'm not good enough, that I’m ugly, and all those kinds of negativity. I even had actual events where those words were somehow proven to be true to me; so many rejections from people, in school, jobs, etc. I know you will say that I should have just ignored them and should have believed in myself more, but it was indeed easier said than done. For an average kid who did not even know how to express herself, who had a low self-esteem and who used to admire those culprits, it was extremely hard to ignore them. In other words, I believed them. I was even so scared of disappointing them by expressing my hurt. It was like being okay with trying to be okay. And so, I remained that way - OKAY. But little did I know that I had the right to feel what I feel and not be sorry for it.

Going back to my crying episodes, please do not assume that I lived a very sad life -- No, it wasn’t like that. I had many moments that I was happy. I was a happy child. I had hobbies and interests. I had the best, albeit not perfect, family, and I had the best-est friends. It's just that I wished they understood me more, because, we all have the right to feel what we feel and not be sorry for it.

In stating that I had reasons for crying, it was not really them that caused me pain. It was the fact that I was too scared to even talk about those reasons, because people might not understand my pain, and might find me ~too sensitive~. Unlike my thoughts back then, you have the right to feel what you feel and not be sorry for it.

There was one time, in 2019, while a two-year old niece of my sister-in-law (my brother's wife) was vacationing at our house, she used to cry non-stop, and when she was being asked why, she wouldn't respond and would just keep on crying. My brother said then that I used to be like that kid, a ferocious crier without having any reasons at all. But then again, I had my reasons, I had my pain. I then realized that even when as a kid, I adopted this habit of being ashamed of speaking about my pain; maybe because I was too scared to hear these words: "Parang yun lang?" "Ang dami mong arte". I was too afraid to be criticized for being able to feel. Later on, I will tell you, if you are like me then, why you should stop. Besides, you have the right to feel what you feel and not be sorry for it.

Now that I grew older, with many life-changing experiences, I cannot say whole-heartedly that I'm a totally changed person. I would still get hurt-cry-find comfort from others-be criticized-stand back up-comfort myself-be okay. It has become a cycle of coping up for me. There was a slight change, I could say, that is -- I cried less, and I was able to master the art of having my own back. Nonetheless, the fact of still trying to hide my pain remained, and so it is making me difficult to breathe. But do not be like me. Remember, you have the right to feel what you feel and not be sorry for it.

Until now, whenever I have problems, I would shy away from seeking immediate comfort from others. I rarely share my pain to the few whom I trust and love dearly, but still the fear is there, like a shadow visible only under the moonlight. But again, do not let the same fear linger, for you have the right to feel what you feel and not be sorry for it.

Allow me to share one instance that I hope would never happen to you and if it would, I wish for you to handle it differently than I did -- I was betrayed by used to be closest people to me. They were "my people" back then. Naturally, the betrayal caused me pain - that kind of pain I have never imagined I would get to feel in my 9 lives if I were a cat. But hey, life sometimes sucks, right? And it did. The pain worsened not because of the betrayal itself (I believe that has been quite settled) but because of what was done to me thereafter. I was made to appear like a crazy-overthinking witch. In that story, everyone was a victim but me. Hence, most of the battle wounds came from the unfortunate circumstance of making me feel guilty that I got hurt by it. You know - imagine people throwing stones at you and demanding that you apologize to them while you bleed; imagine someone stabbing you with a knife and claiming it was your fault you died, because you kept bleeding; imagine them trying to conceal your wounds they themselves inflicted by leaving you in the dark, so no one would see. There was no choice then but to self-heal. That was how it felt. That is how it feels. This is why you should avoid, by all means, being like me. For this, I owe my mind and my heart a lifetime’s worth of apology. I had to tell myself, "you have the right to feel what you feel and not be sorry for it".

Another instance would be everytime I try to speak of my fears and worries, I got too tired and afraid of the typical "Think positive", "Mabuti ka nga ganyan lang ang problema mo", "wag ka kasi ganyan mag-isip". Don't get me wrong. I totally grasp the idea of the need to think big and look at the brighter side of life, and I appreciate the people who try to talk it out with me. It's just that I wish I could have more people who choose to understand more, to tell me instead, "Whatever it is, your emotions are totally valid, and I am here to listen". You have the right to feel what you feel and not be sorry for it.

I often find myself asking why suicide is committed mostly by those who seemed to have no problems in life. Neither did I realize sooner that the answer is exactly that -- "they seem to have no problems in life". Family, friends, colleagues would see these people smiling and laughing. You might say, "But she appeared to be very happy and seemed to have a perfect life, and she would tell no one of her problems". Sorry, darling, but no. The unstated fact is that she did, she tried to open up, but you didn't take her words for it. She asked for help, but you were blinded by her "perfect" life. Your response to her almost always sounded like, "Just shake it all off" or the dismissive common words, "It could be worse. Just think positive". And so, she chose to laugh her problems all off because to her, no one would understand. She was afraid no one would believe her hurt and no one would see the bleeding. She was asked to explain and justify her pain, but she grew tired of it. And just like that, an internal hemorrhage, it took her life without leaving any mark. But did you know she was going to take her own life? No. In fact, no one knew, not even her. And you were left standing in front of a tombstone full of regrets. So please, do not be like the sad soul of the bearer of a "perfect" life. Cry if you must and know that everything will be alright in time, because you have the right to feel what you feel and not be sorry for it.

Remember when I said I was too afraid to be criticized for being able to feel? Well, as promised, here is one reason why you should not be: You have the right to feel what you feel and not be sorry for it.

I had become accustomed to the toxic habit of feeling sorry for being hurt, for feeling pain, but do not think about me. I have learned to drink that poison without dying. So unlike me, you may still have time to change this if you happen to see yourself being eaten alive by this very same poison.

Unlike me, do not apologize for being hurt. Your feelings are perfectly valid. Try to be alive as much as you can, and try to own your feelings and emotions. You will get better in time.

Unlike me, be gentle to yourself. Strive to be positive and happy without dismissing the fact that sometimes it is okay not to be okay.

Unlike me, learn to love deeply, but start by loving yourself. You are one loved being created by God, so always trust that He gave you enough strength to love people with all your heart, and that includes yourself. Therefore, if I could give you something that I was able to get from all these, it is that -- you should learn how to have your own back.

Unlike me, always, always protect your heart. I know it is impossible to totally eradicate pain, but as much as possible, shield it from the deadly weapon of blind love and the desire to please others.

Above all, unlike me, know your worth. You are God's child. You are a daughter of a King. Straighten up that crown and be your own warrior. Let that sink in. Because at the end of the day, you are the captain of the ship of your life.

It may have been too late for me, but not for you. And so, tonight I'll pray and to your ear I'll whisper, "May you finally breathe and freely cry without having to explain your pain".

From the kid who used to cry herself to sleep,

TC

P.S. Even if it is too late for me, I want you to know that I did not give up. I chose to "shake it all off" as I intentionally want to be remembered as the one who loves without expecting to be loved in return.

Caveat: The above content does not, in any way, enable being selfish, close-minded, and most importantly, does not encourage suicide. Suicide does not stop the pain. It only passes the pain to others who we love dearly. Besides, all of us have respective stories to tell. The point is, be gentle to yourself. 🖤

05/2020

[isabelleisashethem]

of how a playlist came to be

i'm posting this here, because I need this story to be told. (also, all the sad girl posts are abt him, sooo)

April 12, 2021

Haie, so, this girl just went through heartbreak and decided to create a playlist to cope. lol.

and here's the story of that playlist.

Listen to the playlist here.

(I'm sorry if the rain sounds were overpowering,I was scared of copyright lol)

This year was difficult. With the pandemic, and online classes, and family problems. Honestly, at some point, I didn't think that I would last and reach 2021. I was under so much stress and anxiety and was slowly losing my mind (as we all were).

But, despite all the mess, I managed to push through. You can ask me why because I'll tell you.

Someone was there for me. Despite not even knowing me last school year, he was the first to ask me how I was after I threw all my rants on Twitter. He was the first person that cared for me enough to see how I was doing. He is the reason why I'm still here.

Because he was essentially a stranger, I found myself telling him my problems, and he was always there for me. He was there for every breakdown, he was there whenever I lost my mind, he was there for me during my darkest days and he was there for me if I needed to ground myself.

He was there to make me laugh, and make me smile. He was there for the small victories and the accomplishments.

We became friends. Whenever we had a problem, we would tell each other about it. Whenever we see one rant on Twitter, we talk about it. We spent so much time talking to each other, to the point where I started to catch feelings.

A thing about me is, whenever I started catching feelings, it won't be intense. I'll only feel some butterflies, or the occasional "kilig", and when I knew that they liked someone else, I wouldn't mind, at all.

But then he came.

He made me feel alive, for the first time in a long time. His words were symphonies and his voice was a song. He made me feel extraordinary whenever he talked to me. For once in my boring life, he made me feel special (no, that is not a kpop reference, lol) when I thought that I was ordinary.

With him, suddenly love songs made sense, rom-coms were real, and hope was everywhere.

He would send me songs about love and give me anime recommendations. He would join me if I wanted to watch a movie with him. We would play tic-tac-toe or Pictionary and even among us online, he even taught me how to play chess once. He would stay with me at the end of google meets so we could talk more without other people; talk with just the two of us.

This boy made me overthink so much and made me feel such extreme feelings that he would sometimes be the reason why I lost my mind.

As we talked more, I felt myself start to fall. So I told him. I told him so I can clear things in my mind. I told him because I didn't want to hope for anything. Still, after I told him, everything felt more blurry, everything more unclear.

I still liked him.

His comforting words still meant the world to me. He was still the most important person in my life. Even when I tried to "uncrush" him, I couldn't, because I was really falling for this guy.

I also had this other friend. She was the person that I would run to whenever I had problems with him (lol, that is really funny now) because he tended to lead people on. I told her mostly everything because they were close too.

We became the closest among our friend group of 5.

I think you can see where this is going.

We would have jam sessions on discord, and we would chat on our group server. They would usually talk to each other and I would lay low most times (by lay low, I mean as they talk to each other with the microphones, I would react on the chatbox lol). There were also times where I caught them laughing and having inside jokes that I wasn't a part of.

I only truly saw their chemistry when we had the chance to see each other on our graduation pictorial. I noticed how extremely close they were with each other. I saw how cute they were together (because they really were). I saw how they light up when they were talking and how they were low-key inseparable.

That day I decided that I should get ahold of myself. It was clear that I wasn't gonna be that person for him. I felt the hope fade slowly,

but hope was still there.

When the day was over, and everyone was leaving, we decided to commute together because we had the same route home. All the rides were full, so we walked.

That walk was a bad idea. Commuting together was a bad idea. Being alone with him was a bad idea.

We started to talk, about life, and other things. Eventually, the conversation led to the fact that I liked him.

I told him about how he was different from my other crushes, and how strong my feelings for him were. He also knew how I never had anything remotely romantic happen in my life.

so he made me hold his hand,

and I did.

For around 10 minutes, maybe less, our hands were intertwined, and my sweaty palms were against his. For that short interval of time, I felt myself hope again, and I finally admitted to myself that I fell in love with this person.

I FAKEN FELT LIKE THE MAIN CHARACTER FOR THE FIRST TIME.

only for it to be taken back a few days later.

I assumed that I was the person he liked, because why would he do that if I wasn't. Why would he hold my hand after telling him how strong my feelings were for him?

Why did he feel the need to take a moment from me?

Surely he liked me too, right?

I found out that he liked my friend, not me.

That was the first time he was actually clear about the person he liked.

I was devastated, at the same time excited. I was really happy for them.

But I can't deny the fact that I was hurt.

The night I found out, I wanted to chop my whole arm off. I wanted to scrub the skin that held his hand off my body. I wanted to erase all the memories that I had of him

All the words that he told me, all the things that made me fall for him was a lie.

His words that once felt like symphonies were out of key. All the moments I had with him darkened. Everything was a fabrication of what I hoped it was.

That night, I couldn't stop thinking about the fact that two people found their way to each other, while I was in so much pain.

I realized that everything meant nothing to him,

but his nothing meant everything to me.

I realized that I was led on from the beginning. I realized that maybe I was just a way to get to her.

He made me fall for him, as he was falling for her.

It broke me for a couple of days, but at the same time, I was extremely grateful.

Yes, I did fall for him and became a clown to his ways, but at the same time, I was also learning how to love myself.

I already saw how he treated me from the beginning. I already saw how much he led me on, and I saw his red flags. At the time, I was still stupid so I ignored them, but I've always told myself that I was worth more than what he was making me feel.

I learned to know my worth, and I eventually learned how to love myself, even on bad days.

I like to think that this heartbreak was given so that I could at least experience a broken heart before the right person comes into my life.

And I know that they will eventually come.

Now, we're on good terms, more or less.

We would still talk from time to time, and I really am incredibly supportive of their relationship.

Yes, it still hurts seeing them together, but why should I be the roadblock to their happiness?

What he did to me was not okay, and it never will be, but I learned that forgiving him was the best way for me to finally heal.

Also, even though most of what I thought of him was a lie, our friendship was still real. I'm still really grateful to have him in my life because he was the person I could trust with my secrets, and he was the person who pulled me back to reality when I was losing myself.

To this person, lol, if you are reading this.

Sorry for breaking my promise (lol kaso u broke my heart, char), and thank you for the lessons and for being there for me.

To anyone who happens to stumble along with this playlist, I want you to know that you are strong.

I want you to know that your feelings are valid, and this pain that you may be feeling is okay.

Even though you weren't in a relationship, what you felt was real, and I think that it's wonderful. It's wonderful that you were able to feel this much for them.

I know that someday, you're going to find somebody who is right for you. Who will never make you feel like an option, and will never let you down.

Someone who will care for you, as you cared for the person you are thinking about right now. Someone who will hold your hand, and have it mean something. Someone who can make you feel special, and loved.

But as we wait I hope you know that

you are valid, and you are always worth it.

xoxo

(here's the Spotify code lol)