#but I’ve never shared it. so i am enlisting the help of my wonderful friends and followers

[set-phasers-to-whump]

ok so. I’ve been keeping track of my fave fics for like. 8 years (good god…) and a few years back i started this google sheets with them all organized. it’s been my new years resolution for the last uhhh. couple years. to share this thang in some form but i have no idea if it would be of interest or use to ppl…anyone have thoughts?

[pastlivesandpurplepuppets]

Trapuzzano rushed up to us when we came back in the hotel. “Jesus, where’ve you been, Web?” he asked excitedly. “We’ve been looking all over for you.” “Went for a walk. What’s wrong?” I could tell that something terrible had happened. “Janovec’s hurt bad. Marsh took him to the aid station in Zell am See. He fell out of the truck and hit his head on a log.” “Oh my God. Where’d you say he was?” “Regimental aid station.” “I’m going there. Tell Hale; he’ll understand.” I ran outside and headed for the roadblock at a fast jog. The twilight air was crisp and cooling fast. Smiling at the wonderful smells of the open country—the grass, the hay, the wood fires, a touch of pine—I unbuttoned my fatigue jacket and swung my arms back and forth in long arcs. There was a rifle inspection for guard in half an hour, but that could wait. I was the sergeant of the guard for the next relief, but that could wait too. Janovec, the only person I had been close to in Holland and had known well since then, was badly hurt. He and I shared a negative attitude toward the Army, and when I had been made an acting squad leader in Marsh’s absence, he had been the most cooperative man in the squad. With encouragement and understanding, he had been a good soldier. In fact, he was the one man in the squad, other than Marsh, that I could really count on. I did not want to lose him as a friend or a soldier. I jogged through the intersection and began to walk toward Zell, thumbing the few vehicles that passed. Finally a G.I. truck stopped and gave me a lift into town. The regimental medics occupied a large private home on the highway in the northern outskirts. Since the door was open, I walked in and looked for someone to help me. Major Kent, the chief medical officer, glanced up from his chair in a room that opened in the front hall. “Can I help you?” he inquired, coming out. “Yessir,” I said, smiling at him. I had always admired him for his work on the jumpfields and in combat and had never regarded him as an officer but as a doctor and friend of all men regardless of rank. “I’m looking for a friend of mine who got hurt in an accident. His name’s Janovec.”

“Oh yes.” Major Kent frowned. “Are you a buddy of his?” “Yes, I am.” “Come with me.” The Major led me into the dining room, where half a dozen enlisted men were laughing and joking and playing cards around a mahogany table six feet in diameter. They looked up at us quickly, then went on with their game. Major Kent opened the pantry door, turned on the light, and stepped aside. “There he is,” he said quietly. “Oh my God.” I stared down at a long figure lying still under a G.I. blanket on the floor. “He’s dead, he’s dead.” My eyes filled with tears. Major Kent shut the door. “Didn’t they tell you?” he said. “No, they didn’t. They said he was hurt bad.” “Skull fracture. He was dead when they brought him in.” The medics in the other room burst into laughter and threw down their cards. “Almost time for the movie,” one of them said. I wiped my eyes and stared down at Janovec, at the peak where his face was and the twin peaks of his jump boots. They always throw a blanket over the face, I thought. That’s the first thing they do, if they have time, so nobody will recognize him and he’ll be just another dead soldier to his friends going by. If they don’t have a blanket, they use a field jacket, a rag, a piece of parachute, anything to hide his face. “Do you want to look at him?” the major said. “No sir, I don’t. I’ve seen enough dead men in this war to last me the rest of my life. I don’t want to look at another one, ever.” Major Kent stepped over to the sideboard, picked up a brown envelope, and handed it to me. I continued to stare at Janovec. I wanted to bend over and shake him back to life, to curse him for sleeping so soundly. “These are his personal effects.” He emptied the envelope. “A parachute scarf, a Purple Heart, his wings, the E.T.O. ribbon, the Combat Infantry Badge, and his wallet. He had no money on him.” “I’ll mail them home.” The major put everything back and handed me the envelope, then opened the door. Before I went out, I looked at Janovec again, hoping that he would move or cry out, but the blanket was still. Grant shot and Janovec dead and the war over: It made no sense. The Army was death. Let’s be done with it and go home. We should have gone home on V.E. Day, then Grant would be the same and Janovec would be alive, but no, we have to stay on and on and on. Come on, Janovec, get up, you’re the slowest, stubbornest man in the squad. We both left Rader for Marsh in Mourmelon. Stick with me; I’ll put you on a good detail. Major Kent held the door open for me, and I thanked him and walked through the medics in the dining room, hating them for their indifference. I went out the front door and up the highway.

~ David Kenyon Webster

[stargazeraldroth]

Okay okay okay, so- Hear me out. I’ve got an AU (…AM? Alternate Multiverse?) idea that could go the way or horror, humor, or both, spawned by your mention of the evil team in your Pokémon AU. I’m never gonna do anything with this, but it made me laugh and I wanted to share it and see where you’d go with it (your AUs/AMs are fun sue me!!!).

So. Consider this, if you will- Dream and Blue decide to try and be a lil silly with Ink for whatever reason. Payback for a prank? April Fool’s? The reason isn’t important, what’s important is that they decide “go big or go home” and enlist a few AUs to pretend to worship Ink as a god in some weird, Ink-oriented cult. Why a cult? Who knows, maybe they got drunk and ran with it. Maybe they were feeling chaotic. The idea is that Ink will go to these AUs, find the “fake cult,” and try to figure out what the hell happened, this isn’t in the script??? Before Dream and Blue eventually reveal their Dastardly Prank (and they intend to reveal it, they abide by the confuse don’t abuse rule!) and have a good laugh together!

Except there’s one teeny tiny… Itsy bitsy little problem with that.

Somehow, someway, the AUs didn’t get the memo that the cult was meant to be pretend, and now there’s a real, actual Ink Cult spanning the goddamn multiverse that’s rapidly growing. There are rituals and prayers going around, they’ve heard whispers about sacrifices (of what, they aren’t sure- art supplies???), someone started a goddamn holiday, it’s all a mess, really.

Depending on how you take it, you could go a humorous route and have Blue and Dream frantically trying to hide this from Ink while fixing the entire mess, or at least mitigating it somewhat (stop trying to sacrifice actual people- they don’t care that it’s willing, use cupcakes or paints or something!!!), to varying degrees of success… Or you could go a more horror oriented route of Dream and Blue frantically trying to keep their friend out of the grasp of his rapidly growing worshippers, all while wondering how everything went so damn wrong and stars, they’re so sorry, Ink-

Anyways yeah, Accidental Cult AU/AM go brrr.

Ah, splendid. I just call all of my alternate multiverses AUs, it helps me with consistency and everyone knows what it means. I don't know which idea I like better, the funnier one or the more horror-oriented one. So! I'm going to address both of them separately!

Also I'm glad to hear you find my AUs fun to read about, making AUs is one of my biggest hobbies rn-

~Funny Version~

For once, Ink's not the one who caused the problem. This is already going wonderfully, my baby's innocent

The idea of the cults trying to sacrifice actual people to Ink is hilarious. I can picture Dream and Blue trying to discourage it by saying that Ink doesn't condone this kind of behavior, which is true, but with varying degrees of effectiveness. Ink will, however, accept food and art supplies any day of the week

They have to enlist CORE's help in tracking the cults' activities, much to CORE's displeasure. How did they let the situation get so out of hand? They're sorry, CORE! They didn't think this would happen!

I can't tell what would be funnier: Ink being painfully oblivious of their involvement (how did the AUs even find out about him? He keeps himself well-hidden, he thinks!) or Ink being entirely aware, but pretending to be dumb. He wants to see if they can handle it on their own, first

Just the image of Dream and Blue trying to keep the cults hidden from Ink is golden. Especially if they eventually cave and tell Ink about it, expecting him to freak out... only for him to either wonder how they did it or him laugh and tell them he already knew about them

Imagine the cults have like, shrines dedicated to Ink. Little Ink statues

What if, in this version, the cults aren't even all that dangerous? Their rituals are more along the lines of "We must pray to the Protector and give him offerings, so that he may ward the Destroyer off from our world!" Just silly things like that

~Horror Version~

Dream and Blue's efforts to stop the cults from using live sacrifices are less successful here

You mentioned they're trying to keep Ink away from the cults, so let's take a look at what might happen if they were to get him

They wouldn't do anything bad to him, of course, but it's a very... odd situation. Ink's being surrounded by these cloaked figures showering him with praises and worship. And when he tries to leave, they won't let him, so he kinda... has to resort to extremes

Maybe the cults start treating Dream and Blue as Ink's messengers or heralds, of sorts. Not just to "deliver his words", but to also relay the cults' prayers and wishes

Alternatively, maybe some cults start going even more rogue and scheme ways to capture Ink and use him to change things about their world. Surely, if anyone would have the power to change things, it would be their lord? They didn't get the memo that Ink doesn't create or control AUs, only protects them (like half of the fandom)

Maybe a cult tries to force Ink out of "hiding" and answering their summons by capturing Dream or Blue and preparing to sacrifice them

I wonder how they might react to PJ and Gradient...? Being the children of Ink, surely they'd be respected. But being Error's children, too... maybe some groups don't take too kindly to their existences

[paisley-print]

Near The Water’s Edge:   Chapter Four

After fleeing your abusive husband, you find yourself in the small coastal town of July, North Carolina. Soon you meet Frankie Morales, Air Force Veteran and single dad. As the two of you grow closer, you begin to let go of your past and learn to love again. That is until a strange man shows up in town, and you ’re forced to choose between your safety or the safety of the people that you love.

Inspired by the novel “Safe Haven” written by Nicolas Sparks.

Series Master List

Frankie Morales x Female Reader Rating: 18+ / Heavy adult themes eventual smut. Trigger Warnings: Domestic Abuse, Mentions of death, PTSD, anxiety, mentions of police case, police.  Word Count: 

Note: Another heavy chapter, but things will let lighter as the chapters go on. Enjoy the first half of the beach day. 

Tag List:@qytyy @winter-fox-queen​​​​ @sherala007​​​​@inkededucatednnerdy @quica-quica-quica​​​ @hnt-escape​​​ @giizhkens-cedar​​​@heythere-mel​​​ @toomanystoriessolittletime​​

The ride passed in comfortable silence, the three of you listening to the radio and Lucy looking out the window at the cars in the next lane. All Frankie could think about was how nice it was to have someone else there to spend the day. He knew Lucy must have been feeling the same way, since he hadn’t seen her so excited about a beach trip in a long while. 

He appreciated how patient you were with her; it was something he noticed even on that first day. The way you refused help until you knew she was alright. That moment had stuck with him more than anything else. 

The memory of what Will said earlier surfaced in his mind. He shifted in his seat and glanced at you. Yes, you were beautiful. Strikingly so. A woman who could walk into a room and turn every head in the place; both men and women alike. Of course Frankie had been taken with you. He tried to suppress it, scolding himself whenever he was alone in bed at night and found his thoughts wandering.... 

His only goal right now was to be your friend because he cared for you and knew that you needed help. He wasn’t sure what kind of help, but he sensed that you were alone and at some point in your life something very bad had happened to you. He wouldn’t pry though, he would wait until you were ready to share. 

-

The beach wasn’t too packed; it was still early in the season and  the tourists hadn’t moved into their summer homes yet. The boys had done an oddly efficient job at setting everything up. When Ben and Will got into a little spat about how to sink the umbrella into the sand , Frankie simply rolled his eyes and continued to spray Lucy with sunblock. It made you laugh, they all seemed so comfortable with one another. 

The day was hot and everybody seemed eager to get into the water, everyone except you and Frankie.  You had bought a bathing suit at the store, intending on going in... but somewhere during the car ride you changed your mind. 

“You can go in if you want,” you told Frankie “I don’t mind just watching.”

He shrugged, “I don’t normally go in either.”

Then just like that the two of you were suddenly alone, both woefully unprepared for any sort of conversation.

You thought of something quickly, filling the silence “the marina was packed today.”

“Yeah, It’s always like that on memorial day. Most of the summer too, be prepared for the restaurant to start getting busy.”

“I prefer it that way. It makes the shifts go faster. So I’ve been meaning to ask, what exactly do you do? I assumed you owned the marina?”

He paused for a moment. “Uh, technically I do. It was a wedding gift from my parents. An uncle had died and left it to them. I think they just wanted to get rid of it, but I have an office manager that does all the upfront stuff….. normally I just work on repairs.”

Married. That wasn’t what you were expecting, but still no ring. “Did you go to school for that?”

“Kind of. I had training for planes, but you would be surprised just how similar the two are.” You gave him a look. He glanced at you and laughed sheepishly. “What?”

“I’m sorry, did you say planes?”

“Yeah”

“You fix planes?”

He smiled and crossed his arms, trying to seem much cooler than he actually was. “I fly them too.”

“You fly pl-....do you take constructive criticism?”

He laughed, “Of course.”

“Lead with that next time.”

He looked at you skeptically. “How am I supposed to lead with that, exactly?”

“You say, hi my name is pilot Frankie …..” 

He shook his head, grinning. “Morales,” he informed you. 

“Hi my name is pilot Frankie Morales, nice to meet you.”

He played along, “but how will I know if people actually like me for me, or they just want me to take them for a ride in a plane?”

You shrugged “it's tough being a celebrity, I don’t make the rules.”

“Oh yeah, celebrity, that’s me,” he said sarcastically. 

You kicked at the sand with your foot. “Also I liked you before I knew you had the coolest hobby in the world. So, you know that you can trust me.”

He glanced over at you and immediately noticed your smile. He had seen you smile before, but they would never quite reach your eyes. This one, he could tell, was real. He opened his mouth to speak when, in the distance, a wave crashed and Lucy squealed with laughter. Both of you turned your heads to look.

“Will Lucy be okay out there?” you asked. She had on a life vest and was being supervised in the shallows by the rest of the adults. Santi was holding onto a boogie board Lucy used to keep herself up. 

“Yeah, I know they seem like idiots but they are good men.” Frankie reached into the cooler to grab a bee and popped the cap off with the bottle opener. “Do you want one?”

You shook your head, “No thank you, but I’ll take a water bottle if you have it.” He set his beer down in his cup holder and reached into the cooler again. The bottle was freezing cold when he handed it to you. Perfect for a sunny day.

You wiped the condensation off on your dress. “Can I ask you something? It’s okay if you don’t want to answer.”

“Yeah, sure,” he said, taking a sip of beer. 

“Lucy’s mom is she….? Are you two still….? I don’t mean to pry, I guess I’m just a little confused.”

“You and I both,” he said with a sigh. “I’m married but we are not together anymore, haven’t been for a few years.”

“Oh,” you said simply, not finding any clarification in what he told you. If anything, you had more questions, but you didn’t want to push. Besides, it didn’t matter anyway…. you couldn’t, you were married as well. “Does your family live in the area?”

“Nope, they live up north. Katie never really knew her family. She grew up in the foster system and was bounced around until she enlisted at eighteen. It’s just me and Lulu now, and the guys when they find the time to travel here.”

“I’m sorry,” you said honestly. “It must be hard not having your parents support.”

He shook his head and took another sip. “I expected it, even when I was younger, it seemed as though they were only interested in keeping me alive.” He looked down and started to peel off the sticker on the bottle as he spoke. “They are both doctors, mom is an archaeologist and dad an engineer. He actually helped design parts of the international space station…. I think they valued their careers more than anything else... they still do. The only time they ever came down to see Lucy was right after she was born, aside from that it’s usually a phone call on a holiday and a card with money in the mail.”

Although he tried to play it off as if it were just another part of life, you could see that it still affected him deeply. For a moment you thought about reaching out to take his hand, but you stopped yourself. “It really is their loss, they are missing out on two wonderful people.”

Frankie adjusted the baseball cap on his head, a sheepish little smile playing on his lips at the compliment. “Well, thank you. Lucy and I could say the same thing about you. You’re great with her.”

You glanced back at the little girl. She was smiling happily as Ben pulled her along on the boogie board. “I think little girls need to be protected, but not only that - they need to be seen and heard. She is already so independent and fierce. I can see how you encourage her to be her own person and not fit into any one mold. That’s important for little girls to learn.”

He laughed, “Yeah, she definitely gives me a run for my money, that's for sure. She can already repair an engine better than most men I know.”

A large gust of wind came through and took hold of the multi-colored beach ball beside you. Both you and Frankie sprang from your seats to race after it. The thing was fast, and you could not stop it from crashing into the waves. You noticed just how much cooler it was near the water’s edge. Although the temperature outside was sweltering, the Atlantic still held that winter chill. Both of you stared at the ball as it bobbed up and down with the tide. 

Frankie waved it away with his hand and squinted in the sunlight. “It’s fine, it’ll probably just float down the beach to another family or something.”

You smirked at him “or choke a poor dimwitted sea turtle to death.”

He paused and shot you a pretend glare, then took off his hat, dropped it in the sand and reached for his shirt. 

You giggled “no, no I’m joking. I got it.” You said, starting to strip down to your bathing suit also.

“Well, you gotta be faster than that,” he said, half jogging to the water.

You slipped off your dress easily and ran straight past him into the waves. Frankie was not far behind. You two were pushing against the tide as you reached for the ball. Fingertips just barely brushed against the plastic before it slipped a couple more inches away. This left just enough time for Frankie to swoop in and grab it.

Your stomach hurt from laughing so hard “hey!”

He shrugged, “I’m sorry that I care more about the environment than you.”

You splashed him with water playfully.

-

The two of you swam for another fifteen minutes, chatting about the town and volleying the ball back and forth. Frankie pretended not to see the way the droplets of water clung to your skin and sparkled under the sunlight. When he noticed the little lace pattern on the bottom of your swimsuit, he knew he had been staring for too long and forced himself to look away. The very last thing he wanted to do was scare you away, or make you believe he had some sort of ulterior motives to helping you. 

You both dressed again before walking back up to the chairs. When the two of you returned, the group had already come back from swimming. They were passing around Tupperware full of fruit while Santi was starting up the tiny little grill he had brought. 

“You guys really don’t play around for beach days,” you mentioned to Frankie. 

“I tried to warn you,” he said with a smirk. 

Will had Lucy thrown over his shoulder, carrying her easily with one arm. “Has anyone seen Fry?”

“I’m right here!” Lucy’s little voice drifted out from behind him.

Will started turning, pretending to look for her “Fry! Fry! Where are you!”

Lucy was hardly able to speak through her fit of giggles, “I’m behind you!”

He put her down on the sand, pretending as if he had seen her for the first time. “Jesus Fry! You scared me!”

“Lulu,” Frankie said, “come here so I can put more sunscreen on you.” Frankie took the bottle from the bag and sprayed her again, making sure to get her ears and the tops of her feet as well. He sprayed some in his hands, and Lucy scrunched up her nose as he applied it to her face.

Watching the two of them together made you smile. You were reminded again just how different Frankie was from your husband. David would have felt emasculated by having to take care of a child. If he had attended today, you would be sitting beside him silently the entire time, only getting up to fetch him a beer.

“Do you want some?” Frankie asked, and you were suddenly snapped right back to reality.  

Even though you weren’t threatened by a burn yet, you figured it would be a good idea. “Yeah, thank you.” You offered him your arms, then the front of your legs.

“I used to be terrible with remembering sunblock until I got sun poisoning in Iraq, god never again.”

“Iraq?” you asked, and turned so he could get the backs of your legs.

“Yeah, with the air force” he told you, assuming you already knew. 

Breath hitched in your throat as he brushed your hair over your shoulder. You cringed at the feeling of the warm sunscreen hitting the back of your neck and jerked away. It was enough for the others to notice. You laughed and lied quickly “damn horse flies hurt when they bite. They say you should wash off the bite with soap to get it to stop the swelling. Is there a bathroom here?”

You sounded believable. Becoming an expert liar had been the only thing keeping you alive for so long. 

Frankie felt horrible. He didn’t quite know what he had done to trigger you, but he knew it was something. “It’s pretty far, I can walk with you-”

You shook your head, a wide smile still plastered across your lips. “Nope, I just need a direction.”

Santi jumped in quickly. “That building when we first came in, near the tennis courts.”

You nodded and started forward, tears stinging at the corners of your eyes. Why was this happening right now? You were fine a moment ago and now you felt as though you couldn’t catch your breath. You shivered, remembering the feeling again and putting your hand on the back of your neck to stop it.

A soldier…. it made sense. You were too stupid to have seen it, the nicknames and the holiday...... 

Thankfully, they were single stall restrooms; you pulled the door shut and locked it behind you. The bottom of the floor was disgusting and filled with wet sand. You lifted yourself up onto the counter and sat, trying to calm down. A soldier, a soldier, you kept repeating to yourself. It was too similar. The anger, the potential for violence…. just like your husband. 

You placed your head in your hands, and suddenly you were back in New Jersey. It was a bitter February, snow still on the ground. You were in your bathroom hiding as David raged in the living room and screamed at his coworker on the phone. A little boy had been killed by his father weeks ago. David was assigned to the case. When the trial came, the jury found the man innocent and let him walk free, even though all the evidence pointed to him as the killer. It was an embarrassment to David and the entire homicide unit

“God fucking dammit, y/n! y/n!”

You pulled yourself up on shaking legs, straightened your dress and walked out. David was red in the face waiting for you. “I thought I told you to call Comcast, did I not?”

“They said that they could get someone out here Wednesday because of the snow-”

He took the television remote and threw it at you as hard as he could; he aimed for your face but it hit your shoulder instead. The plastic connected straight with your collarbone. You doubled over in pain, holding it as it throbbed. He stalked up to you and you moved back, the fear evident in your eyes.

His voice was teetering on the edge of lunacy as he screamed at you.

“I give you a simple fucking job to do and you can’t even get it done. You’re a lazy fat fucking bitch.” he shoved you hard but you manged to keep standing. “Spend all day sitting on your fucking ass while I have to go to work for the both of us! I need the television because I need to see the news coverage of the fucking case! You knew this! Or would you like me to get fired and the both of us live on the fucking streets!” He shoved you again, and you fell against the stone fireplace. Your hands came up to shield your face as he picked up the remote and hit you with it repeatedly. It caught your lip, busting it open. 

You didn’t care about the blood, all you could think about was the gun still holstered in his belt. You got the television fixed the next day-

“Summer?” 

You stood quickly and wiped away the tears from your cheeks, pretending like nothing was wrong. “Yeah?”

“Are you alright?” 

It was Frankie. 

You shook your head and smiled in the dingy plastic mirror in front of you. “Yeah, why?”

He could hear that you had been crying. He pushed on the door but it was locked. 

You didn’t like that at all; you slipped off the counter and sat on the floor, against the door. Bracing it closed with your body “I’m fine-”

“You’re crying-”

“No, I’m not I- I get allergies and that horsefly hurt. I am such a baby I’ve always had a low pain tolerance-”

“If it’s something that I did -”

“Nope, it’s nothing that you did. I’m fine, I’m really, really fine I promise. I just got overwhelmed and needed some air. I’ll be back in a few minutes, and you guys can eat without me. Don’t let me hold you up.”

Frankie wasn’t convinced, but he didn’t want to force anything. “Would you like me to save you a plate?”

“Yes, please.”

You could hear his footsteps start to retreat and relaxed a little. 

“Summer?”

“Yeah?”

Frankie was about to say something, but he thought better of it. He figured it was better to let you have your space now.

[professorrw]

Mistakes, a Loki One-Shot

Warnings: Angst, Smut, attempted murder, mentions of death, enemies-to-lovers

Request: “Can you do a Loki one shot? enemies to lovers troupe? a lot of angst pls -moon”

Word Count: 2195

A/N: I hope this was good! I’ve never written angst so I tried my best! And yeah, Loki doesn’t hate Y/N, it’s more like she hates him in the beginning but I tried. If you have any tips please message me or comment! Reblog and like if you enjoyed!

Loki, God of Mischief. During his attack on New York he managed to kill 80 people. One of them being your mother, your anchor. She had been with you through it all. She supported you no matter what. When you wanted to enlist in the military she let you and when you were discharged she was still there for you. 

When you left the Marines you began to work as a S.H.I.E.L.D. Agent. Your current assignment was to watch over Loki, who was being held at the Avengers base. The assignment was perfect. You could finally get revenge on Loki for taking away your only family.

If any of the Avengers found out about your mother’s death they probably wouldn’t let you watch him. And they shouldn’t. When you got the chance, you were going to kill him. It didn’t matter that you might go to jail or get fired. He deserved it, and you were going to serve the justice your mother and all his other victims deserved.

Monday rolled around and you arrived on the base. Loki would be held in a room made of see-through electric walls. Even if he tried, he wouldn’t be able to escape. You were in control of the wall. If you wished, the walls could be lowered. Eventually, you would lower them. Not for Loki to leave, but for you to enter.

You sat with your feet lounging on the desk in front of the “cage.” Loki was standing in the middle, watching you. You weren’t going to give him the satisfaction of speaking to him. Hell, you avoided looking at him. 

Hours passed by silently and you left your post. You had the surveillance cameras hooked up to your phone so you could watch him while you were away. You slipped into bed in the room you were assigned and went to sleep, thinking of your plans.

The next morning was just as uneventful as the previous day. It wasn’t until noon that something happened. Instead of standing in the middle of the room, Loki approached the wall nearest you and spoke, “You seem to disdain me more than your fellow Avengers. I don’t recall ever doing anything to you. I would remember seeing such a beautiful face.”

You ignored his comment and turned your face away from his smirking one. You were told he had a knack for getting under peoples’ skin.

“You want to be silent? Very well. I’ll admire you from a distance then.” He returned to the middle of the room but continued to watch you with a thin-lipped smile. Despite yourself, you couldn’t help but wonder if his legs ached from standing so long.

As Loki said, he didn’t bother you for the rest of the week. You kept your mouth shut and tried to avoid his gaze the whole time. There was an incident when you were coming back from getting lunch and happened to glance at him, already looking at you. He seemed to find pleasure in the quick turn of your head when your eyes met. No doubt, just as the other Avengers promised, he was trying to get under your skin. You were used to having people scrutinize your every move, but what Loki was doing felt different. 

To your dismay, when you returned to your desk the following Monday, Loki decided he wanted to bother you.

“It’s terribly lonely in here. Why don’t you join me?” He knew you weren’t going to answer but he still prodded you. “What’s wrong dear? Afraid I bite? I promise it’s only lightly.”

You gave him a cold scowl and returned to the book you were reading.

“You enjoy reading? Do enlighten me on the title,” he asked. Unlike the way he was speaking previously, he seemed genuinely  curious to know. Who knew a god would be interested in books?

Even though you told yourself you wouldn’t utter a word to him, you decided to tell him what you were reading. “Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespeare.”

He responded only with a hum, as if he was thinking it over. You raised your eyebrows, expecting him to say more about your sudden inclination to speak to him. He didn’t say anything else though, and returned to look into your eyes with a searing intensity.

He remained silent for the duration of the day, which bothered you more than his speaking evidently. You had to admit, sitting there for hours was boring but it would be worth it in the end. 

Another week passed before Loki decided to speak again.

“You dislike talking to me and looking at me.” He said it as if it was a fact. Which it was.

“What did I do to you?” He said this with an earnest tone. He genuinely wanted to know. It was eating at him that such a beautiful creature would feel such hatred towards him.

He let out a sharp sigh and decided to give him what he was searching for. “During your little rampage in New York, you killed my mother. I’m sorry if I don’t act friendly,” you spat.

For a second he looked taken aback. Even though it was only a fraction of a second you caught it. Did he not realize the damage he had caused? Surely he wasn’t that thick-skulled, you thought.

“I apologize, I wasn’t aware.”

“Of course you weren’t. You were too busy trying to take over Earth to take into account that you were killing people,” you scoffed. “And don’t act like you’re sorry. I know you aren’t. You can’t begin to understand the pain I felt and still feel.”

“You would be wrong there, dear. My own mother was killed. It was my fault; a foolish mistake.” He muttered the last sentence and you had to strain to hear it, but you did. You couldn’t help but feel a twinge of… empathy?

“Well I’m sorry. That doesn’t excuse what you did though.” You were sorry. Not that he deserved to hear your apology.

“I did not dare think it would. You should not feel so alone, dear. I share your emptiness.” His words caught you off guard. He was right. A part of you did feel empty. But you weren’t one to admit that you were aching for someone or something to fill that gap. Your mother was your support system and since she died you were alone. You had friends, but none close enough that you would relay so much person information to. People tried to comfort you but at the time nothing made sense. You were a ball of anger and sadness that never got to let go of your grievances. The feelings inside of you never came to the surface, you carried them with you, just for them to haunt you at night.

You didn’t want to say anything back in fear he was still trying to pick you apart and tear you down. “He’s a villain. He’s done terrible things. He killed your mother,” you kept repeating to yourself. You weren’t about to let Loki make you vulnerable. You had a personal mission to carry out and it would get done. You decided to quit talking to him for now on. You couldn’t start being friendly. You especially couldn’t let yourself be attracted to him. That would be your downfall. Although you did feel empathy towards him, you wouldn’t let anything else happen.

“What am I doing?” you thought as you arrived back in your bedroom around a week later. Your mouth didn’t like to listen to your head. You found yourself talking to Loki when he spoke to you. Talking to him. Answering his questions. You promised yourself you would put an end to him soon. If you didn’t want to fall deeper into the trap that is Loki’s charms, you would have to kill him soon. Things had gone too far already. “He is a terrible man,” you reminded yourself once more.

You laid in bed watching the security cameras for hours. You had to wait until him and all the other people in the building were asleep. It was 2 in the morning and Loki had been asleep for hours. Surely, everyone else had been too.

You stalked through the halls silently as you made your way to the “cell.” Sure enough, Loki was asleep in the small bed, laying on his back to your luck. You quickly lowered the electric wall nearest you and walked into the dark room. You pulled out your knife and steadied yourself. Finally, you could have peace. 

You leaned over his body, trying to avoid looking at his peaceful face as you raised the knife to his neck. But you stopped. Could you really do this? Hasn’t he proven that he isn’t so bad? While talking to him the past week, you learned a lot about him. He openly spoke about his home and filled you in on anything you were curious about. “Shit,” you thought. Surely enough he had lured you into his trap. You couldn’t deny the growing affection you felt for him. It doesn’t matter how small the feeling was. You weren’t going to let yourself do this.

As you were thinking a voice spoke behind you, “Are you trying to kill me dear?”

You snapped your head back and saw Loki standing behind you. When you turned to look at what you had previously thought to be Loki, he wasn’t there. The covers were still pristine and in place. 

“It’s alright, darling. I know you were not going to harm me. I saw your hesitation. Something has developed inside you,” he said.

“That’s not why.”

“Then whatever could change your mind? On that first day I could feel your hatred. It slowly dissipated as time passed. When I first laid eyes on you, I was intrigued. You are a passionate creature, driven by whatever your heart desires. Does your heart… desire me?”

Your breath caught in your throat at his sudden proximity. His face was inches from yours and you could feel his soft breath against your ear.

“Do you desire me… as much as I desire you?”

“I- I can’t… This was a mistake. I came in with a mission and it seems that it won’t be fulfilled.” As soon as you were done talking you turned away from him. Parts of you wanted to stay, but you knew you shouldn’t.

“A mistake? I have made many mistakes but wanting you is not one of them, love.” He looked at you with pure desire and truth in his eyes that your knees nearly went weak. Your mind told you that what you were about to do was betrayal, but you ignored it.

In one movement your body was flush against Loki’s. He placed a hand on your cheek and met you halfway, pressing your lips together. The kiss was filled with many unsaid words. It was an apology, a confession, and a thousand struggles shared between you. 

Your hand moved to tangle in his hair, deepening the kiss, if that was possible. His hands traveled to your waist, pulling you against him. You could feel the hardening going on in his pants. He pulled away as if to ask you permission. You took a step backwards and fell onto the bed, laying on your back.

Loki took that as a yes and stripped out of his clothes, leaving you the only one dressed. He climbed on top of you and began to trail kisses from your jaw to your exposed collarbone. You raised your hips to let him pull off your pants and underwear, which were already wet. He chuckled lightly at the sight but continued to undress you, throwing you shirt and bra over his shoulder. Anybody could take a peek at the security cameras and find you two together, naked on his bed.

Loki started slow, teasing your entrance with the tip of his dick before pushing it in the rest of the way. You bit your lip to suppress any noise. He slid in and out of you, picking up the pace as he went. It was becoming more and more difficult to stay quiet. You wanted to moan, say his name, anything to express how he was making you feel.

Loki also seemed to be having trouble staying quiet, breaths ragged with each thrust. He lifted your legs so your ankles were on his shoulders. The thrust he gave after that was enough to make a sound slip from both of you. He groaned and you moaned out his name, “Loki.”

It didn’t take long for you to reach your peak, coming undone as he gave another hard thrust. They soon became sporadic, some slow and some fast, but none at a steady pace. Just moments after you came, so did he, right into you.

He pulled out and rolled to your side, wrapping an arm around you as you both caught your breath. Whatever worries were troubling you were gone from mind as you laid there, mind focused on the man next to you.

[bloomyagi]

bewitched (m)

summary: bakugou has always loved you.

pairings: bakugou katsuki x f!reader, hawks x f!reader (nsfw)

genre: characters are aged up, 20+, pro heroes au

warnings: allusions to cheating, angst, porn w/ lots of feelings, shower sex, kinda subby bakugou, he’s basically lovesick n soft for u, keigo is a good birdie, he would never do this irl

length: 3,518

notes: hello! my first bnha fic, please be kind <3 please let me know what you think! i’ve been so obsessed w/ jjk & bnha recently skdjkjf. send help 

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It comes down softly at first. The droplets whispering against windshields, ghosting across bare arms, a trick of the light. Then a pause, like the darkening clouds are reconsidering their decisions. There is no wind, no anger in the way it pelts down, darkens the concrete. Like resignation, like relief. It soaks bone, sends most civilians packing as they duck under awnings and flee into shops in anticipation of a short-lived flare.

But it is summer, and the rain is welcome as a remedy against the oppressive heat. Many onlookers merely move their belongings closer to avoid the stream, gaze out glass windows longingly. Some find inspiration, others find peace.

You stand in the middle of it all, drenched and unmoving as you watch your lover wrap his arms around his secretary, and you wonder whose mood this pathetic fallacy is expected to reflect as you look across to meet familiar eyes.

He, too, mirrors your stance. Clothes sodden, yet the nature of its designs only lends to plaster themselves closer to his skin. His irises are that bright, burning red. He is not fizzling, heated against the affair before him. Instead, his gaze is trained on you.

There is no fury, no sadness, no emptiness. His gaze is not hollow, it is instead strangely warm. Your chest squeezes, tightening in the way you experience when you read a novel laced in tragedy, that welling feeling of anguish and sorrow.

His hands are shoved in his pockets, and though his eyes remain fastened to you, he makes no step to move closer.

The sky lightens, a thin streak of sun peering through in a solitary beam. The sounds seem to press close again, like a bubble popping in your ear.

The summer storm is tempered as quickly as it appeared, the sound of life—laughter, the splashing of sneakers drowning in newly formed puddles—and the lingering smell of renewed earth and the chirping of birds as they shake off their wings to take flight.

Water drips silently down the pair of gorgeous wings before you. They flutter briefly, flicking off the thin layer that pooled on its surface, before unfurling to fold over her. He pulls her closer, separating only every so often to breathe.

Shameless, is all you think plainly. And you are—ashamed. That feeling catches you by surprise, breath caught in your throat as the feeling expands, takes root in your lungs. It is that hindsight, that disappointment—at yourself—that has you lowering your eyes.

He is still looking at you, even as someone squeals and a crowd gathers, pushing and shoving to press close, stays rooted to his spot, watching you, even as the couple finally break apart, dishevelled—she adjusts her pencil skirt, re-buttons her blouse; he runs a hand through his golden locks, fixes his half-open shirt—and Hawks’ chuckle rings across the street, one arm braced around her waist as he signs autographs and takes photos. She is glowing beside him, all smiles and shrill laughter. Her nails, perfectly manicured and sharp, digs into his chest. He doesn’t even flinch. He likes it.

You stifle a dry laugh. Turning on your heel, you disappear into the thickening crowd.

He himself is being pawed at, hands fawning at his exposed arms, clutching at him like he is fresh off the conveyer belt.

He waits until he can no longer discern your retreating figure before bearing a half-smile at the crowd. He takes the pen that is shoved into his face, and he begins signing autographs.

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Time and experience have tempered his constitution. He has accepted his flaws, worked on them until he could proudly stand on the same stage as his—friends. Because that is what they are—these people that have helped him grow, comforted his trauma, stayed with him despite it all. What else could he call them but the very things they are—they are the pillar of his strength. Because of you, I learned I could be strong for the things I care about.

He is not number one. He has no need for such a title, no need for such a goal anymore. He is no longer the brash, easily angered teenager that charged for the strongest.

“I don’t care what they call me, what rank I am, or what they think of me. I only want the power to protect these people. That’s it.” He thinks back to your words.

You are not often solemn. You laughed a lot, the slow-appearing crinkles to the corner of your eyes a physical testament to your innate joy. You liked to take delight in the ordinary things. Perhaps that is what drew him to you—that strength. To shoulder the burden of your chosen role in this society, to have the bravery to smile amongst the suffering.

There was always an unbidden heat that surged in his chest when he thought of you. That odd feeling of a knot tying itself in his stomach when his skin brushed yours. When you fell from the height of a skyscraper, half-conscious from defeating a new breed of nomu, his heart stuttered and leapt in halting beats to throat as he split from his team, their screams for you ringing in his ears, the rush of badump-badump closing in rapidly, pushing his beaten body to its limits, faster, faster, faster—please! Who was he praying to at the time? He was begging anyone who was listening to give him that push—the gap was too big, you were too far, he was too tired, too useless, too broken—he slammed into you with enough force to compel blood up his throat.

He spat it to the side quickly, not bothering to wipe himself clean before he turned to you. The first thing he registered was warmth. You were limp in his hold, on the edge of passing out, exhaustion lining every curve of your face. Your lips quirked, eyes closed.

“Hurts like hell,” you slurred. “Falling from heaven.”

He stared at you, blinking the blood from his lashes.

And then he threw his back and laughed. It was a full-bodied, uproarish laughter. The type that rumbled from his chest. He shook, though he was careful not to jostle you, and you managed a quiet chuckle.

The adrenaline faded from his body, and he hiccupped as he slumped onto the concrete beam behind him. The ice receded from his veins.

“Don’t scare me like that again,” he murmured. It was a quiet plea. Don’t do that ever again, is what he really wanted to say, but how could he? This was the occupational hazard of your shared line of work. This was the risk. His eyes burned, half-lidded as he held you closer.

You couldn’t lift a single limb on your body, so you lean into him.

“No promises.”

It was enough. Your voice was raspy, drained, but there was a sincere lilt to it.

He wanted to say something more, then, but first responders arrived and whisked you separate ways before he could gather his thoughts.

He regrets it, to this day. Perhaps if he had said something then, said something sooner, the scene would have played out differently.

He does not have many regrets, have long resolved to move on from his past and mistakes. “What a useless emotion,” you once told him. “Don’t wallow. Mourn and move on. Do better. That’s what you owe. That is what you are owed.”

But this—this he will always regret.

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He finds you on the roof of your penthouse.

“I like it. Being able to see everything from up here.” The first time he’d peered over the edge, he’d been enlisted for furniture rearranging. You handed him a beer, beckoning him over, jerking your head to the scenery below. And it was—breathtaking. You were breathtaking. He hadn’t even bothered to entertain a cursory glance. It was summer then, too, and the evening breeze was light as it brushed your locks back. Lights began to flicker as the sun dipped lower into the horizon. He briefly considered making a similar move.

But moving was a hassle, only further proven by the efforts of today, so he dismissed the thought quickly, taking another swig. He was sweaty, a layer of grime a film over his skin from the manual labour he’d been voluntold for most of the afternoon. It was petty work compared to his—their—day job, but it was still a strangely refreshing workout.

“What are you feeling?” His steps are muted, voice faint. It carries on the back of a shallow gust.

You don’t spare him a look, staring into the distance. You’re sitting, one leg thrown casually over the ledge, the other pulled to your stomach. He’d made an off-hand comment once about adding some railings, but you’d rolled your eyes and pushed him playfully.

Pussy, you called. He chuckled. Like we don’t experience enough life-threatening dangers on a regular basis, he snarked.

All the more reason, then, you shot back. He fell silent then, the pulsing in his throat returning.

He could never really read you. Eyes are the window to the soul. He scoffs internally. Whoever said that must’ve known it was a load of bullshit. Your eyes never said anything. But his—his said everything he couldn’t, and more.

You hum. “Would it be cliché if I said I wasn’t surprised, only disappointed?”

“No.”

“Then I’m disappointed. I had hoped, I suppose, that he would choose differently.”

He tastes the words that I would be enough between, and the sigh of to change him that escapes your lips.

“You knew who he was when you went into this,” he says quietly. No judgement—he is not reminding you of your poor decisions, rather striking a conversation in the same manner one would inquire about the weather.

Quant, you think. And a few years ago, you would have added out of character. But now it is not so—he has grown into himself well.

You tilt your head back. He leans against the wall, arms crossed across that well-built chest of his, shirt straining against the muscle. He’s so tall now—so much taller than anyone had expected him to be. That wild, unruly blond hair of his has remained the same, appearing spiky but soft to the touch. And his eyes—they are gentle but retain the ferocity he is well-known for.

“Yes,” you say after a while. “That is why I am not surprised. But these feelings won’t just disappear overnight because of this.”

He’s quiet for a while, those crimson orbs of his trailing over your expression. You don’t know what he finds, but he must understand your position because he nods.

“I’ll wait for you.”

This—this is a surprise. Somehow, he always manages to surprise you.

“After all this time?” You ask softly.

“Always,” he says quietly.

He leaves, and when you return to the house, you pick up the keys he left on your counter. Twirling them on one finger, you smile to yourself.

Thank you. You know he knows.

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“I tried to be the person you wanted me to be,” he says.

“I tried, I really did. But this is who I am, who they made me. I can’t change. I’m sorry,” he says.

He says a lot more, you think, but you’ve long since stopped listening. He knows these are only flimsy barriers that excuse his behaviour. He knows he is not this person. He is not broken, he is worthy of much, much more. He just needs to believe it. They took everything from him. That is what he thinks, how he lives. Like he has no real purpose.

Instead, he is stopped, wings flaring as you reach for him. You smell familiar, and that ache in his heart deepens. He will forever regret losing you, but you deserve more. He is not good for you, and he is not your responsibility. His growth is his obligation. Perhaps, when he is ready, he will find you again.

But by then, he thinks, burying his face into your shoulder, you will have already chosen differently.

“I love you, baby bird. I will always love you,” he presses these words against your neck in a soft whisper, voice cracking, like a prayer, he tries to sear his truth into your skin. He tastes salt on his tongue.

And, between it all, he traces I’m sorry.

You squeeze him once.

You know.

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“Hey.”

You’re uncharacteristically shy, cheeks puffing in that sweet smile of yours.

That sharp, familiar warmth blooms in his chest at the sight of you perched on the arm of his leather couch. You look comfortable, relaxed, like you—belonged here, his mind supplies helpfully.

He steps out of his boots, unbuckling his support items and setting them on the counter to clean later. He’s a little worse for wear tonight, shoulders tight from chasing rogue villains the past few hours. The tension seeps away steadily, though, the longer he drinks you in.

You look good. You always look good. Gorgeous, even more so when you’re tired and dirty, covered in blood and dust and debris. It’s been so long since you patrolled together, pulled to opposite ends of the city the past few months.

“Hey,” he says back.

“Shower?” You take his hand.

He trails behind you, nearly tripping over in his haste to follow, failing to register your words in time. This must be a dream, he decides. And he will play along, as he always does in these fits of delirium. He will hold you and have you and love you in ways he cannot begin to describe, and then he will lose you as dawn breaks and he wakes to an empty bed. But he falls anyway, does it over and over until he feels like he will go insane from the sheer longing. He is addicted to you.

You haven’t spoken, not really, since that night on the rooftop. So you, being here, without any prior warning, touching him, smiling at him, leading him to his fucking shower—this must be a dream, right?

You push open the door to his bathroom. It’s big, he’s always been meticulous about his health, and enjoys his fair share of long soaks and hot showers.

He realizes a beat too late that you’re undressing him. He exhales sharply when you tug his shirt off, but before he could say anything, you murmur, “You smell like caramel. You always do. It’s just a little stronger than usual.”

“Oh.” He sounds a little breathless, a little strangled. Unlike him, but he has never really been anything but himself with you. He’s still discovering new sides to himself, it seems.

Oddly enough, he’s the farthest thing from embarrassed as he steps out of his pants and boxers. He’s flushed, but the heat that floods his veins is nothing short of delicious. It makes his head spin, makes him lean into your touch.

You strip quickly, tossing your costume fabric aside his for laundry. He sucks in an audible breath at the sight of your nude body. Beautiful, he wants to say, but the words are stuck in his throat, and he reaches out with a shaky hand to thumb the smear of grease on your cheek.

You smile, pushing open the frosted glass doors and pull him inside.

The temperature is perfect. He likes it hot on days like today, muscles relaxing as the water washes away his fatigue.

“You know me so well,” he says.

You push him under the stream, water cascading between the two of you. His locks flatten under the pressure, falling over his eyes. You run a hand through his hair, pushing it back as you press yourself flush against him.

“Yes,” you answer. “I do.”

And then you kiss him. A low purring echoes through the space. Ah, it’s me, some part of him thinks absently. He opens his mouth instantly, tongue lapping at yours, arms coming around to hold you close. He can distinctly feel the way your perked nipples rub against his pectorals. He can taste you. And you are sweet, so sweet and the lewd sounds of your make out reverberating in the room so vividly he knows this is not, in fact, a mere conjuration of imagination after all.

He loathes to part from you, but he does. His fingers dig into your waist, anchoring him to reality. He looks at you searchingly, beseechingly. If you are here, you can only be here for one reason.

“I’m sorry I took so long. I’m sorry, I know it must’ve been painful. I’m here now, I promise I’ll never leave again,” you say, cupping his cheek.

His breath catches. His eyes flutter shut.

“You promise?” He sounds so small, so weak. Vulnerable. He would’ve hated that, once, but he is no longer that person. Today, he can accept he is weak for you. Always has been. And that’s okay, he thinks. He doesn’t have to be strong all the time.

“Yes. I promise, Katsuki.” You press your forehead against him, standing on your tippy toes.

He kisses you again, swallows your dreamy sigh, one hand on the back of your head, the other crushing your body against his. He wants you close, needs you close. Needs to feel you, this is real, right?

“Yes,” you whisper, and he realizes belatedly that he spoke aloud. “This is real. I’m here. I’m right in front of you.” You take his hand and press it against your upper rib cage, where your heart beats. Fast, like the wings of a hummingbird.

He can’t help it. He takes you against the wall, so pent up from years of pining he can hardly think, rutting into you like a teenager in heat, feeling like he’s a virgin again, every trace of your skin so new, he maps them out first with his eyes, then his hands and mouth. He slows down when you call his name in a haze of pleasure, takes the time to worship you, find what makes you tick, watches your expression raptly as he rolls his hips, as he tweaks your nipples, palms your ass, litters a necklace of freshly bloomed violets on your collarbone.

He’s panting your name, you’re murmuring praises in his ear, tugging at his locks and biting down on his shoulder and he cums so hard his vision whitens.

The two of you slide down, his legs giving out in the aftershocks, until he’s sitting on the floor of his shower and you’re curled up on his lap.

The water is—miraculously—still hot.

You lay there for a while, and he catches his breath between lazy kisses, enjoying the way your hands roam his chest languidly.

Finally, he stands, letting you down reluctantly to actually clean yourselves. You giggle at the pout that forms when your feet touch the ground once more.

You wash his hair, massaging methodically as he dips his head back to let the foam drain. He takes great pleasure in this, at the way you spread a generous amount of body wash on your palms and begin scrubbing the grime from his skin.

He jolts forward, letting out a low groan as you squeeze his flaccid cock teasingly. He glances away, eyes half-lidded, at the heated look you give him when his cock hardens immediately.

“You underestimate how easily you turn me on,” he says plainly. Not a hint of embarrassment. And why should he be? You kiss the corner of his mouth. “I love it,” you murmur.

You rinse him off before turning. His length presses against your ass, but he makes no move to seek anything further, focused on washing you.

Satisfied, he turns off the water.

You step out, toweling each other off. He pulls you to him, inhaling deeply. He likes that you smell like him now.

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Afterwards, you are tucked in close, covers pulled up and he’s buried his face in your chest, bare legs tangled.

Perhaps it’s the novelty, the feeling of finally, but you can’t get enough of one another. You wake each other multiple times throughout the night, clawing at each other, ripping his boxers and your—his—shirt from each other until you were pressed tightly together, bare, a thin sheen of sweet already coating your bodies.

A thin strip of moonlight peeks through the cream curtains. He gazes up at you, thinks everything in his life has been leading up to this moment. That warmth swelling again, as it always does, so intense it has him arching his back. You touch his cheek, smiling. Something lands on the side of his pillow. Ah. You lean down, lips warm as they kiss away his tears.

“I love you, Katsuki.”

He closes his eyes.

Thank you.

[childrenofthenightt]

That’s The Way

Pairing: Jimmy Page x Reader

Word count: 3.6k

Warnings: none, this is kind of an introductory/fluff chapter if you will :)

Story summary: Y/N Y/L/N, an ordinary seventeen-year-old girl, gets pulled into the world of rock and roll on a fateful night at the Marquee Club in London when she experiences the musical phenomenon of the Five Live Yardbirds. She grows up fast, navigating her way through the downfall of The Yardbirds, the legendary skyrocket of Led Zeppelin, era-defining decadence instigated by the ‘60s and ‘70s mindset of free love and personal gratification, and finding the courage to express how she fell deeply in love with one of modern music’s greatest guitarists.

Author’s notes (from Molly of rebel-without-a-zeppelin): Hi everyone! A little disclaimer on my part: this is the first story I’ve ever shared for public consumption. I’ve been toying with this idea in my mind for a very long time now, and I’ve finally mustered up the courage to share it with you all. I hope you like it. I am incredibly honored to collaborate with Syd on this project; this is truly our baby, as it has a very long, detailed, intricate plot, so saddle up for lots (and lots) of drama! This is also a sloooowwwww burn, like really, really slow lol. Over the course of the story, please feel free to send me your theories and comments; I would absolutely love to read them. Please enjoy, and happy reading!

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3 May 1965

The sound of a car horn beeped incessantly from the front of Y/N’s house. Dropping her backpack down on her bedroom floor with an annoyed huff, she sprinted down the steps. She never did get enough time to prepare, and it was no different today. With her friend Carolyn in tow, Y/N made a beeline for the front door, the click-clack of her Oxford shoes pounding across the hardwood floor. Y/N’s mum, who nonchalantly strolled out of the laundry room with an armful of freshly washed and folded bath towels, leant against the doorframe.

“Now remember Y/N: no drinking, no drugs, no sex. No going home with strange musician guys, nor are you allowed to go to their hotel,” her mum instructed calmly, knowing she’d receive an eye roll from the girl. Her stern expression at home on her gracefully-aged face, the girls receive the speech they get every time they go out.  “You too, C. Even though I’m not your mother, I still worry about your safety.”

Both Y/N’s mum and dad had a very protective instinct over their eldest daughter, just like their other three children. Even at Y/N’s healthy age of seventeen, she longed for the freedom and trust that her older brother had gained at her age.

“Thank you, Mrs. Y/L/N,” Carolyn replied with a little laugh.

“Mum! This is literally the fourth time I’ve been to a Yardbirds gig, and nothing bad has happened,” Y/N huffed. Her mum raised her eyebrows.

Lillian, Y/N’s little sister, walked into the foyer and surprised Y/N with a big, tight hug around her waist. Y/N gasped at the sudden contact, but chuckled when she realized it was her younger sister, and reciprocated the hug.

“I don’t want you getting hurt, Y/N. Boys are icky. And stupid!” Lillian said in a whiny voice, her face muffled by being buried in Y/N’s stomach.

Y/N ruffled her sister’s muss of dirty blonde waves affectionately, rubbing her back to soothe her worries. “I promise, I will come back perfectly fine! I won’t let any boys mess with me, Lil,” Y/N said with a smile, “And when I come back, I’ll tell you everything that happened.”

Lillian gazed up at Y/N with a similar smile, her small teeth shining a bright, pearly white and her chin resting on the taller girl’s stomach. “Okay,” she said, content, before releasing from Y/N with a stuffed animal tucked under her arm.

“Where’s Charlie?” Y/N asked, hoping she could say goodbye to her younger brother before she left.

“I think he’s riding around the neighborhood on his bike with his friends,” Y/N’s mum replied with a shrug. Y/N felt a little disappointed, but she figured she’d talk to him tomorrow at breakfast about her night out.

Thomas, Y/N’s older brother, continued to honk the horn rather obnoxiously, growing quite impatient. It’s a wonder the neighbors weren’t at arms, knocking on their door. He was forced by his parents to be Y/N and Carolyn’s chauffeur to the Marquee Club in London.

“We have to go, or else Tommy will have my head,” Y/N said as she started to open the front door.

“Wait!” her mum said, sloppily placing the towels down on a nearby counter to dash to the door and give Y/N a hug and a kiss on the head goodbye. Finally pulling away her weathered hands flew to Y/N’s shoulders, and gripping them firmly, she continued, “Be good. Love you.”

“I know, I will. Love you too,” Y/N smiled, before dashing down the steps and to the passenger seat of the car. Carolyn was in quick pursuit, following her to the car and taking a seat in the back.

“It’s about time,” Tommy huffed impatiently, tapping his fingertips on the top of the steering wheel as he put the transmission into drive.

“Sorry. Mum was giving me and C a safety brief,” Y/N replied apologetically.

“Why are you two still in school uniforms?” he snorted, shifting to look over at the girls; their studious appearance of white oxford shirts, sweater vests, plaid kilts, white knee socks, and smart oxford shoes would be quite out of place among the audience at the show.

“No time to change, just like usual,” she replied, turning on the radio, soft melodies pouring out at a low volume.

The three drove in silence, except for the sound of the radio playing, until Carolyn had dozed off on the somewhat lengthy car ride. Occasional small talk between Y/N and her brother permeated the quiet that fell over the group, but it picked up when they were only a few blocks away from the venue.

“You gotta stay safe in there, Y/N,” Tommy said, looking straight ahead. His teeth clamped down sharply on his bottom lip: a dead giveaway to the nerves he must have been feeling.

“I know, Dad,” Y/N joked, punching him lightly across the shoulder. Her bright smile wavered and fell when she saw his grim expression.

“I’m serious, you know. I don’t want my sister being pestered by some wankers in a blues band.”

Y/N smirked at her brother’s sudden defensive behavior. “I can take care of myself. Trust me. This isn’t my first rodeo. You should’ve seen the first Yardbirds gig we went to. Utter chaos...” The tilt of her lips signalled that she was joking, and Tommy huffed out a laugh.

Carolyn, stretching with a grunt, had miraculously woken up just as Tommy pulled up to the front door of the Marquee. Glancing at the venue with awe dancing in their eyes, Y/N and Carolyn disembarked from the car, walking closer with the façade of calmness and competency.

“I’ll be back later to pick you girls up. Have fun, but not too much fun,” Tommy rolled his window down as he said this, winking playfully.

Y/N waved to her brother as Carolyn thanked him graciously for the ride. Arms linked, Y/N and Carolyn entered the famous Marquee. Nervousness and anticipation began to pool Y/N’s stomach as she was greeted by the decadent atmosphere of the club: the smell of smoke, alcohol, and sweat hung in the air as her eyes were flashed by many people mingling about, dressed in typical mod clothing. Y/N and her friend looked at each other, feeling like aliens in their intelligent dress. They tactfully made their way through the crowd as they found their way to their usual spot, a small leather-upholstered booth set against the wall near the stage.

“Today might be the day, Y/N,” Carolyn said as they settled into their seats.

“I don’t know,” she replied, smoothing out her skirt, “the idea of that is both scary and exciting to me at the same time. We’ll just roll with the punches, I guess.”

“Which Yardbird do you have your eye on?”

Y/N smirked as she thought for a moment. “Hmm...I’m not sure. I guess they’re all pretty cute in their own way. What about you?”

“Yes, I agree. But I must admit, I do have a very soft spot for Chris Dreja.”

“I’ll pray for ya, C,” Y/N chuckled.

~~~~~~~~

Meanwhile, backstage, five live Yardbirds were performing some pre-show rituals in the hopes of easing the preliminary anxiousness. Jeff, Keith, and Jim were peeking out the little sliver of curtain that allowed them to see their gathering audience.

“Look! It’s those two schoolgirls again!” Jeff pointed to the two teenage girls in school uniforms, chatting in their booth waiting for the show to begin. They were huddled together in conversation, legs daintily crossed as their faint giggles floated over to them. Jim couldn’t help but smile at the sound, though he recovered quickly, not wanting his bandmates to get any ideas.

“What’s wrong with that? They must like us,” Keith replied.

“I think they’re both really pretty, especially the one with the Y/H/C hair,” Jim pointed out, trying to be as subtle as possible.

“Yeah, maybe we should invite them backstage after the show… have a nice little chat,” Jeff winked at the singer and the drummer cheekily.

After taking a final glance at the two conversing girls, the three returned to the backstage area where Paul and Chris were. Jeff immediately enlisted Giorgio, their manager, to complete the agreed-upon mission. Jeff loosely draped an arm around Giorgio’s shoulder before bestowing the request as politely as possible. Not trying to be suspiciously polite, of course, because everyone in the band and its entourage were firsthand witnesses of Jeff’s temper and stubbornness. Yikes.

“Okay, I’m going to need you to do me a favor,” Jeff said to Giorgio with a mischievous smile.

Giorgio rolled his eyes, knowing this “favor” would have to do with scouting girls from the audience. “What d’ya need, Jeff?” he sighed exhaustedly.

“Don’t complain, please,” Jeff deadpanned. “There are two pretty birds in the audience, wearing their school uniforms. They’ve been coming to our shows for a little bit now, and they seem nice—”

“You want me to bring them backstage after the show?” Giorgio interrupted, somehow telepathically knowing, by routine, what the guitarist’s request would be.

“You finish that sentence like you know what I’m about to say.”

“That’s because I do, Mr. Beck,” Giorgio retorted sarcastically, “this happens a lot more often than you think it does.”

“Whatever,” Jeff grumbled moodily, knowing he was right, before walking back to the group of musicians in preparation.

~~~~~~~~

Y/N and Carolyn continued to gossip happily about what was happening at school, not a care in the world. They felt the stares of older men in the club, who silently disapproved of their knee socks being scrunched by their ankles, because that wasn’t the “proper” thing to do. But they didn’t care. Who are they to judge?

Every teacher scolded girls at school who did the same thing, because they didn’t want their long legs to be “tempting” or “distracting” any boys. A bloody nuisance, is what it is.

The girls were snapped from their thoughts by the sound of a heavy guitar tone being blasted through the speakers in an opening riff. Their eyes were stapled, almost transfixed to the stage as they took in the five sharply-dressed men in front of them, singing their songs and playing their instruments.

As much as Carolyn enjoyed The Yardbirds and music in general, Y/N had a rather deep connection to it, odd enough as it was. She could play the piano fairly well, so she understood where these musicians were coming from cognitively and creatively. From what she’d read in magazines about current popular musicians, like The Yardbirds for example, she liked the same music they did. Y/N understood dynamics, tempo, tone, key, and musical notation, just like they did. Perhaps she’d be able to get into an intelligent musical conversation with at least one of them one day.

Two straight hours of hits, obscure songs, and blues covers from The Yardbirds’ catalogue were played for the Marquee Club patrons, hypnotizing its drunk and high onlookers with polished musicality and instrumentation.

As the final song concluded, both Y/N and Carolyn, unbeknownst to the other, felt a sinking feeling of disappointment that fell like a pit in their stomachs. They wouldn’t have the chance to meet the band. No one from the entity had approached them yet, and momentarily the five live Yardbirds would be exiting the stage for the night.

After they said their goodbyes and thanks to the crowd, they disappeared behind the curtain. The main lights of the club brightened to signal that the show was over, as the voices of all the patrons raised in rave of the spectacular show they had just witnessed.

Discouraged, but still in light spirits at what they had just seen, Y/N and Carolyn stood up from their seat and headed for the front door. Y/N expected her brother to be waiting in front; it was late, so might as well not make him wait longer than he needs to.

Y/N and Carolyn were merely a few feet from the door when Y/N felt a gentle tap on her shoulder. Turning around to see a man with a dark beard already baring a jovial tight-lipped grin at her, the girl was quite surprised, maybe a little weirded out, but she reciprocated the gesture as genuinely as she could.

“Hello sir, what can we do for you?” Y/N greeted, discreetly nudging Carolyn to help her out and become a united front with her in front of this stranger.

“Good evening ladies, I was sent by Mr. Jeff Beck to offer you an invitation backstage to hang out with the band.”

Y/N’s stomach dropped and her face broke out into an obvious mad blush, much to her dismay. She was internally screaming. The Jeff Beck had spotted them in the crowd?! This had to be a dream.  Wait, this could be a complete drunken buffoon trying to trick them. Y/N remembered what her mother had said, and took the proper precautionary measure.

Y/N smiled in the most composed way she could. “Thank you for such a gracious invitation! Could I ask your name, if you don’t mind?”

“Giorgio Gomelsky, manager of The Yardbirds,” he replied, in a seemingly proud manner.

Okay, this was real. Y/N knew that Giorgio was definitely the manager’s name. She turned to Carolyn, who looked just as excited as she was.

“What are your names, dears?” Giorgio asked, pulling them out of their daze of what seemed like a fake reality.

“I’m Carolyn, and this is my friend Y/N,” Carolyn piped up, excited that she finally got an opportunity to speak to someone close to The Yardbirds.

She internally agreed to let Y/N handle the “diplomacy” part of the introduction, knowing that she was best at that. Carolyn knew her friend was quite shy, so she knew to step in when Y/N was starting to feel anxious. She noticed Y/N starting to fiddle with her fingers while talking to Giorgio in the most collected way she could muster; as excited as Y/N was, Carolyn knew she was growing very nervous.

“Well, it is certainly lovely to meet you both. So, what do you say? Would you like to meet the lads?”

After one final glance of excited mutual agreement, Carolyn replied, “Yes, we’d love to.”

Giorgio led the pair of girls back the way they came, through a sea of inebriated people, but this time through the backstage door. Y/N made an appoint to walk behind Carolyn, in an attempt to collect and relax herself. She was starting to sweat a little, her stomach doing flips and her hands becoming cold and clammy.

~~~~~~~~

“Our guests should be arriving any minute now,” Jeff said as he was placing his guitar back in its case.

Chris was standing and chatting with Paul in a corner when he turned around in surprise at the news. “Guests? What guests?”

“We had Giorgio invite two girls from the audience to come back here,” Jim replied, walking over to sit down in a metal folding chair.

“And why weren't we made aware of this?” Paul asked, as he walked to get another metal folding chair to place near Jim.

“It was their idea,” Keith replied, pointing two fingers between Jeff and Jim. Paul and Chris just nodded in recognition.

“I didn’t hear you disagree, Relf,” Jeff clapped back. He then told Chris and Keith to get some chairs for themselves and the two girls that would be walking through the door at any second.

Before Keith could respond, a couple knocks resounded in the room, signalling the arrival of the guests. Jacket lapels and ties were quickly straightened, even though each person was still glazed with quickly-drying sweat from the show they had just played, before the room fell unnaturally quiet as Giorgio opened the rather squeaky door.

The initial tension in the room that lasted a split second could be cut with a knife. Y/N felt her heart pounding in her chest, a cold sweat already running down her back, as five pairs of eyes landed on her, Carolyn, and Giorgio, warm smiles following suit.

She felt like internally combusting.

“Boys, this is Y/N,” Giorgio broke the momentary silence by introducing her, “and Carolyn.” Y/N smiled shyly and sent them a little wave, a dusty shade of pink seeping its way to her cheeks. Carolyn’s greeting was much more exuberant than Y/N’s, as she took the initiative to go over and shake all of their hands amiably. Y/N realized she had to follow her friend in order to make a good first impression.

Knowing that the boys wanted to spend time with the girls without being chaperoned, Giorgio left the room to attend to other business affairs.

Upon first glance, Y/N was the most beautiful girl that four of the five Yardbirds had ever seen. Perfect features, long legs, a calm, gentle, sweet demeanor… Just an absolutely angelic young woman; a vision.

Jeff had obviously recognized her beauty, from seeing her at multiple shows, but he thought she was way out of his league. He decided to focus on getting her to laugh and relax around them, because he noticed just how nervous she looked. She was turning pale right in front of his very eyes! Paul and Chris began to internally question themselves, how have I not seen this girl before? She is so gorgeous! Jim had been glancing at her sporadically throughout the show, soaking up her faraway presence. He noticed how her eyes glistened in childlike wonder as she watched them do what they did best: perform the Chicago blues.

“Well, it is very nice to meet you both,” Keith replied enthusiastically. “I’m Keith,” he alluded to himself, then pointing to the other members of the group while giving their names, “and this is Chris, Paul, Jeff, and Jim.”

“I mean, we know who you guys are, but it’s so lovely to finally meet you,” Carolyn replied. Y/N nodded in agreement.

“Come and sit down! Make yourselves comfortable. We don’t bite,” Jeff joked, motioning to the open chairs. The girls smiled and accepted his invitation, Y/N taking a seat between Jeff Beck and Jim McCarty, while Carolyn took a seat between Keith Relf and Chris Dreja. The chairs were arranged in a circular formation, so each person could talk to the other with ease.

“Tell us about yourselves!” Paul initiated, “I think Y/N should go first though, because you haven’t said too much yet,” he laughed at the last part. Y/N giggled (a little too idiotically for her own liking), but she felt herself become starstruck at how her name sounded coming from one of their voices.

Y/N clenched her cold, clammy hands in her lap as a method to ease her anxiety before starting with a smile. “Well, I’m from Saint Albans. This is our fourth time, I believe, coming to see a Yardbirds gig. Carolyn and I came to see you with Eric Clapton once, and then this is the third time with Jeff.”

“Oh, that’s fantastic! I guess I see where your favor lies in terms of guitarists,” Jeff responded playfully.

“I guess you’re right,” Y/N laughed, “I will admit that I love what you’ve done with the body of work. Clapton was a blues purist, which I respect, and he’s great, but I think your playing is much more interesting and unorthodox.”

Paul, Jim, and Jeff all raised their eyebrows at Y/N’s comment. They were impressed with how she understood their musicality.

“Are you a musician?” Jim asked Y/N.

“Not in your sense of the word,” Y/N chuckled, “But I’ve been playing the piano for most of my life, so I understand music. Probably more than your average female audience member,” she added with a grin.

“That’s so cool! Are you classically trained, or is it just a hobby?”

“Classically trained,” Y/N admitted to Jim shyly.

“Oh wow, so you’re the real deal,” Jeff added.

“I’m not a professional, so I’d say no,” Y/N laughed.

“You probably know more about music than all five of us combined!” Paul said.

“Well, I know that you know much more about the blues than me!” Y/N answered playfully.

“Okay, I’ll give you that,” Paul smiled at Y/N. She cursed herself in her mind for feeling weak at Paul’s simple sentiment, but tried to keep her composure as best she could.

The four of them, especially Jeff and Y/N, began to bond over their love for different musicians. Y/N expressed her love for Chet Atkins and his fingerpicking style, Scotty Moore’s lively soloing style, and Robert Johnson’s slide technique and open tunings, rendering the three men shocked at her knowledge on the subject. Y/N loved how easily Jeff could make her laugh, and how interested Paul and Jim were at whatever she had to say, significant or insignificant. Chris Dreja, who was in a little group with Keith and Carolyn, occasionally spaced out of his conversation to hear what Y/N had to say.

They bonded for about an hour and a half about everything and nothing, until Y/N abruptly realized that Tommy was probably waiting for a while outside for her and her friend. She apologized to the band profusely for such a sudden departure as she and Carolyn walked towards the door.

“Say you’ll come visit us again after the show?” Jeff called to Y/N as she turned towards him in the doorframe.

“Absolutely,” she smiled brightly.

---------

Thanks so much, hope you enjoy!!

Taglist: @y0uth--anasia @reincarnated70sbaby

[ktheist]

the hero.

knj / myg / jhs / ksj / pjm / kth / jjk

the first time jeon jeongguk met the demon lord was when he wandered into the forest while he and his friends were playing hide and seek.

“hey, have you seen anyone pass by here by any chance?”

well, before she became the demon lord, she was just an ordinary village girls collecting herbs with her younger brother.

“o-oh um, they climbed up that tree.” she pointed at a great oak tree a few feet away, cheeks flushed red.

“you promised you won’t snitch!” comes a voice from the branches.

x

the next time he sees her is downtown when she’s shopping for groceries with her mother.

“hey, you’re that girl that helped me win!” he grinned, recognizing an ally.

she held out her hand shyly, palm facing the sky, “where’s my share for helping you win?”

“uh,” jeongguk hesitates, looking left and right as if a prize would materialize if he kept looking.

“you can help me find some wood sorrels.” she proposes.

“yeah! i’ll pick all the wood sorrels in the forest!” he folds his arm inwardly, showing off what little muscle he has in his arm.

she gawks at his radiance as if he’s the meteor that lights up her night sky.

x

7 years later, he’s knocking on the door of the quaint little cottage her family lives in.

“jeongguk, did you get into a fight? again?” she rushes over to him, eyes brimming with worry and hands clasped in front of her chest.

the small tremble in her fingers tell him she wants to touch the hair and sweep it behind his face but won’t because she doesn’t want to end up grazing his cut.

“you’ll heal me, won’t you?” he puts on his best grin even though it hurts.

and the tremble cease. a smile tugs on the corners of her lips.

she flicks her wrists and the fire on the stove begins to dance. a cauldron levitates in the air and settles on over the dancing flames a second later.

she’s going to make that bitter healing medicine he hates so much.

“what am i going to do with you?” she shakes her head.

“oh, jeongguk, you’re here too. would you like to have dinner with us?” her mother asks, coming from the back door of the kitchen, hands full with the harvest from their backyard.

x

“no! mother!” only a day after he had a warm meal with her family, he’s holding her by her waist.

“we have to run,” he says, eyes not even looking at the flames that lick her mother’s body at the stake.

her brother and father have fallen at the axe of the villagers that came barging into her home, searching for a “witch”.

she was with jeongguk, picking stinging nettles because they’re only traceable at night.

x

they live together in a tiny cottage meant for one but they made it work for one more.

her smile is gone.

not really, but it comes and goes. and jeongguk suspects, they’re just shadows of what once was, if only to tell him not to worry about her.

at night, he hears he soft sniffles and he slips out of his bed to climb into hers. he holds her tight until she falls asleep in his embrace.

a year has passed yet they’re stagnant; living the same day over and over again. filled with sorrow and tears.

if he could take away her pain, he would.

jeongguk didn’t know that after a year of endless night sniffles and dried cheeks; this is the last night they spend in each other’s arms.

x

jeongguk doesn’t know where she is or if she’s found another person to hug her on nights when the cold gets unbearable.

he gets enlisted into the knight squad.

it’s like a miracle. like he’s meant to wield the sword.

no man his age would have the skills he has now without any prior practice.

“i did get into fights as a teen and won every one of them,” he would laugh whenever someone brings up his unmatched expertise in swordsmanship.

little does he know, it’s the working of fate, preparing him to kill a childhood friend and the woman he lives for.

x

“i won’t,” he declares, the clang of his sword ringing against these cold walls of the demon lord’s castle after he tossed the holy blade away.

“and this is the hero you so love and worship?” she looks at his comrades with eyes painted in blood red.

“j-jeongguk, snap out of it! she’s controlling your mind!” the healer’s voice reverberates against these walls.

she and the others stand a few feet behind him as if an invisible wall has separated them.

“no,” he says, taking steps to her throne until he’s cupping her face with his gloved hands, “my mind has never been clearer- i- i’ve missed you.”

a shattering silence.

a crack in the ground.

vines creep up the distance between the hero and his comrades until they completely shield them away from the rest of the world.

she leans into his touch like she would when they lived together in that little hut.

‘she’s not lost.’

‘not really.’

“do you know what causes the birth of the demon lord?” she asks.

“wha-“

“a heartbreak.” she finishes without waiting for him to say anything, “it has to be more painful than death. more sinful than the goddess’ blessings. and more hollow than the deepest depths of the hell.”

his fingers are wet from the rain the acid rain that has never tore through the skies.

until now, that is.

“i’m sorry i couldn’t protect you,” he holds her in his arms like he’s always dreamed of doing.

she weeps and the blood in her eyes washes away. “i miss them, jeongguk...”

their tale becomes a legend. of a virtuous hero and the wretched demon lord.

the castle gets torn down by the emperor’s reinforcements that arrived a month later.

yet they couldn’t find any trace of the hero nor the demon lord.

it’s as if they’ve vanished like the wind that carries their tragic beautiful story from kingdom to kingdom.

over the years, their tale took different turns. some say the demon lord took on the form of hero’s most beloved. others say the demon lord’s lonely soul trapped him in her pitless dungeon.

her favorite, which she goes back to as she tucks her little ones in their bed, is-

“mommy, mommy, can you tell us about the story of the hero and the demon lord’s love that turned her back into a human?” the boy with his father’s deep brown eyes blinks at her with evergreen wonder.

“blegh, that again? i want to hear about the hero’s journey to defeat the dragon before he went after the demon lord!” says the little girl with rich black hair, as black as hers.

“my children, never grow up,” she sighs, gathering them in a tight embrace until they begin to squirm and complain about how-

“mommy, you do this every night.” the both say in unison.

“don’t blame your mother too much kids,” jeongguk laughs as he enters the room the three are huddled in together, “she just loves you a whole lot.”

“daddy! daddy! is it true? that love changes even the evilest of soul?” the boy sighs, falling into his bed with a dreamy thump.

jeongguk looks at her for the briefest moment. her dark, jet black hair looks magnificent catching the light of the silver moon. she’s smiling at her two younglings like they’re her world.

“you see, no one is truly evil...” and he goes on to tell the tales of the hero’s journey to be reunited with the love of his life.

though the journey has been arduous; though he wonders if life is worth living without her around; they always find their way back to each other.

back home.

he kisses the boy’s forehead and she kisses the girls before they cross each other at the foot of the bed, doing the same for the child they haven’t bid good night yet.

“they grow up so fast,” she’s holding back tears like she usually does.

she’s always had a faint yet strong heart.

he kisses the top of her head and wraps his arms around her, swaying their bodies gently to the tune he’s humming from their childhood.

how long ago that felt.

how long ago the tale of the hero and the demon lord had happened.

how glad they are, to have walked the road less traveled by.

[activechataclysme]

TITLE: two truths and a lie.

Fandom: Miraculous Ladybug Ship: The Love Square - SnekMouse Rating: T [ AO3 ]

Summary:

“For the, uh, game. You said two things,” he said, holding up two fingers. He wiggled one finger.  “That there was a, uh, boy you’ve been in love with for years,” then the other. “And that you want to get over him.”

“I get that,” he said quietly, tapping a rhythm against her shoulder with his fingers. “Do you, uh, do you see him everyday?”

“More than he knows, I think,” she said, her tone a little sly, as if she was sharing an inside joke with herself. “He sits right in front of me in class, actually.”

-o-

“I realised I’m in love with this girl recently, I’m scared to ask her out. She, um, sits in front of me, an-and…” he floundered before finally tacking on a lie. “She knows exactly how I feel.”

... Or in which warm feelings flare in chests, soft gazes are exchanged, blushes are blushed and confessions are made without even intending to.

One of their evening patrols ended with the two of them after patrol on a secluded rooftop, with beer in cheap plastic cups in each of their hands, and two half empty bottles of it between the two of them. They sat on the balustrade, feet swinging as they looked out at the city, chuckling as they played a game of Two Truths and a Lie.

Aspik found that beer, if had in, er, generous amounts , could in fact make one tipsy, as well as loose-lipped. He was sure Multimouse would’ve figured him out if she hadn’t been a little tipsy and out of it herself...

People love photographing me, I hate that they do ( She had looked at him somewhat sadly at that ) and I love shopping for my own clothes.  

My dad’s a dick, Ladybug is the uh worst and my bestfriend is a superhero. ( She had giggled uncontrollably. )

Modelling is my dream job, I enjoy piano and I love our patrols together. ( He suspected, in a very self-satisfied manner, that the flaming of her cheeks didn’t have much to do with the cold. )

…And well, If he didn’t already know Multimouse’s identity, after tonight he definitely would have....

My parents are bakers, I have a DJ friend and I’ve never dated a musician.  

I have a journalist friend, I want to be a… singer and all walls in my room are pink

Chat Noir’s hair is as soft as it looks but don’t tell him I said that ( If Multimouse wondered why Aspik was blushing, she didn’t voice that ) . I like wearing my hair in pigtails and I’m allergic to marigolds. (Hard, because Aspik couldn’t possibly say that he’d seen her eat marigolds; he never questioned it of course.)

“Your previous suit design was awful, I love rose macarons and Chat Noir’s puns are amazing,” she giggled.

Aspike let out an amused snort. “You love rose macarons. And you love Chat Noir’s puns. So the lie obviously, is about my suit. My suit was the best .”

Multinouse giggled harder, cheeks flushed pink under her mask. The beer must be really getting to her, he thoughts, watching as she took another sip. “ False ,” she declared. “Chat Noir’s puns are awful .”

Aspik huffed. “My suit was just fine , little mouse.”

“Sure, snake boy,” she snorted.

“I’ll have you know I’m an expert on fashion,” he sniffed.

“I’m sure you are, Mr. Celebrity,” she laughed.

Multimouse reached over to ruffle his hair, laughing harder at his petulant look as he attempted to flatten his hair. Just as he was attempting to straighten his bangs, he caught her soft blue gaze on him. She was smiling at him warmly, almost a wistful expression on her face.

“What is it?” he asked, tilting his head.

She shook her head, almost as if she was snapping herself out of something. The softness left her face and she gave him a weak smile. “Your turn,” she said, downing her cup.

He watched quietly for a few moments, as she hastily refilled her cup. He cleared his throat and looked away, training his eyes on the city lights.

“I’m thankful to have you in my life and that we’re friends, your suit is super cute, grey and pink? Very you . And uh…” he floundered, when he sensed her wide-eyed blue gaze. “I… Uh, hate passionfruit?”

He heard her let out laughter, and he couldn’t help but turn to look at her. “You don’t hate passion fruit,” she giggled.

He snorted. “Well, how would you know? Maybe your suit is not cute. Maybe you’re not my friend.”

“You’re so silly,” she laughed. “Don’t think I haven’t seen you scarf down the passion fruit macarons I bring occasionally…”

“Well, only a fool would dislike those,” he said petulantly. “I can tell they’re baked with love,” he added teasingly, wagging his eyebrows at her.

She blushed and looked away, nervously patting one of her space buns. “...Er, well, m-my suit is amazing . I only ever wear top notch fashion, th-thank you very much.”

He grinned. “I’m sure you do.”

“And I… We’re…” She seemed to inhale deeply, before her gaze flickered over to his, a little wistful. “Friends. I know we are. You make sure to let me know.” She laughed, though it sounded a little hollow to his ears. “Everyday.”

Her eyes widened a fraction and she chuckled nervously. “I mean, everytime we patrol.”

Aspik frowned at the distant look in her eyes and the nervous fidgeting of her hands. He scooted a little closer to her and hesitantly took her hand in his. She stiffened, but only for a moment before relaxing again with a gentle sigh. She leaned her head against his shoulder.

“I’m glad we’re friends,” she said softly, and added almost as if to herself. “I’m happy we’re at least that.”

“Me too,” he said, before adding gently. “Your turn.”

“What? Oh, um right,” she said, and he felt her fidget lightly before settling down.

“I’ve been crazy in love with a boy for years,” she started, and Adrien froze. How had he forgotten about that . “I need to get over him, because I know he doesn’t see me that way...”

“He’s an idiot,” huffed Aspik, illiciting a startled laugh out of her.

“He’s not,” she said. “He’s the smartest, sweetest and kindest person I’ve met. Second only to maybe Chat Noir.”

“So Chat Noir is first , huh?” preened Adrien.

“Don’t tell him I said that,” she laughed. “It won’t do his ego any good.”

“Pfft,” said Aspik dismissively. “He’s the humblest hero of them all.”

“Sure,” said Multimouse, rolling her eyes.

“But we digress,” said Aspike. “This debate is on hold until further notice.”

“Whatever you say, li’l snek.”

They were silent for a few minutes before Aspik finally cracked. “You only said two things.”

“What?” she asked, lifting her head off his shoulder to look at him.

“For the, uh, game. You said two things,” he said, holding up two fingers. He wiggled one finger.  “That there was a, uh, boy you’ve been in love with for years,” then the other. “And that you want to get over him.”

“Hm,” she hummed, looking away again before letting out a soft self-depriciating laugh. “It’s going to be so easy to?”

Aspik wrapped a hand around her shoulder to tuck her further into his side, because what an idiot of a guy.

“I get that,” he said quietly, tapping a rhythm against her shoulder with his fingers. “Do you, uh, do you see him everyday?”

“More than he knows, I think,” she said, her tone a little sly, as if she was sharing an inside joke with herself. “He sits right in front of me in class, actually.”

Adrien felt his breath rush out of his lungs, as the world shifted in his mind’s eye. Like a fast replay of everything with a new filter, and he felt his chest start to warm. He tightened his grip around her and pulled her tighter against him.

He cleared his throat. “Have you, um, tried asking him out?”

“Only a hundred times,” she laughed. “It’s always gone wrong. Maybe that was for the best anyway. He doesn’t… He doesn’t see me like that.”

“And how do you know that? If you haven’t asked him out?”

“He says that we’re “just friends” at least once a week.” Marinette snorted. “I am starting to think that’s his way of gently letting me down without really having to reject me. He values friendships too much for that, I think.”

“You should really not make presumptions,” he said nervously, heart racing.

“Pretty sure I know what I’m talking about, Aspik. I’m sure I know what I’m talking about.”

“Including his feelings?”

“Feelings he’s made pretty clear,” she said as she drew circles on the back of his hand.

Aspik sighed, feeling like he was on the precipice of losing something he hadn’t even known he had. He really, really did not want to let go.

“My turn,” he said quietly. “I… There’s this… girl.”

Multimouse seemed to deflate a little next to him, which he couldn’t help but find a little perplexing. But he trudged forth.

“I realised I’m in love with this girl recently, I’m scared to ask her out and…” he floundered before finally tacking on a lie. “She knows exactly how I feel.”

“Well, that’s kind of obvious, snake boy,” she sighed. “I don’t see what you have to be scared about…”

“She… I found out only today that she’s trying hard to move on from me.”

“That means she still does have feelings for you.” Her voice was smaller than he’d like, almost a breathy resignation to it. “You should ask her anyway. I can’t imagine anyone saying no to you.”

“Yeah?”

She lifted her head off his shoulder, her gaze warm, smile fond. “Yeah.”

Aspik hummed. “Even you?”

“Of course! I just told you I- Well, I- I mean, if-if it weren’t for that guy I told you about, then um, yes. Definitely. For sure. Yep.”

“You think so?”

“Yeah.”

“Maybe I’ll leave a note on her desk when school re-opens after Winter Break. With a bunch of flowers.”

“Yeah, I’m sure she’d like that,” sighed Multimouse.

“Actually, maybe not,” he amended thoughtfully. “She sits right behind me, so it’ll be hard for me to see her reaction. And she’s a little prone to easily freaking out,” he chuckled fondly. “Maybe I should enlist my bestfriend’s girlfriend for help. Those two are bestfriends, you know, and she’s a schemer, that one. What do you think I should-”

He stopped when he realised Multimouse’s head wasn’t against his shoulder anymore. He turned to see that she was staring at him with wide eyes, head tilted curiously

“Did you say that she sits behind you? Like right behind you?”

“Yeah.”

“Huh,” she muttered. “Y-You said that she has feelings for you. And that you found out she was trying to get over them.”

Adrien unfortunately had always been just a little slow on the uptake. So he chuckled a little. “Yeah, found out today, in fact.”

“ Today ?”

“Yep, today.”

“She told you herself, did she?”

He really should have noticed the careful neutrality in her tone.  

“Yes, actually,” he nodded vigorously. “But you seem to think there’s still hope, so I… Wait a second .”

He whirled on her, eyes narrowed, to find that she was studying him too.

“Do you…. Know ?” she asked first, eyebrows set in a wary pinch.

Aspik hesitated before leaning closer to her, almost nose to nose now bodies twisted to face each other. He turned completely to her in a moment, one leg folded, the other hanging off the ledge of the roof.

“Do… you know?”

“I asked first, mon é cailles .” The slight twitch of her eye gave away her faux serious facade though.

He smirked as he wrapped a hand under her knee to tug her closer, while her hands came up to hold his shoulders so she could stabilize herself. “Can’t argue with that logic ma petite souris ,” he chuckled, face towering over hers. “But I’m afraid I have the upper hand here.”

With that he kissed the corner of her lips ( Her. Lips. ), just as he decided to hell with it and tugged her onto his lap ( Oh, my god! ) fully.

“A-Aspik!” she squeaked as he looked up at her affectionately, before pressing a kiss to the other corner of her mouth.

“Multimouse,” he said, now his hands wrapped around her hips, zero room between them.

She was watching him with parted lips, face flaming, while her expression was of utter disbelief. Hesitantly, her hand went up to trace his mask, before it settled on cupping his cheek. Blushing, she looked at him with soft eyes before leaning slightly and kissing the apple of his cheek.

“How… How did you find out?” he asked quietly, as she started to draw back.

She looked panicked for a moment before relief seemed to wash over her.

“The game sort of gave you away,” she admitted, not meeting his eyes as one of her hands snaked ( snaked , heh) over his chest and over his shoulder so she could play with the hair at the nape of his neck. “Um, so what gave me away?” she asked shyly.

He froze for only a second before thanking the gods for having Marinette herself present the answer to him.

“The game,” he grinned.

She groaned before deflating in his arms ( In. His. Arms!!! ), forehead resting against his shoulder.

“I knew the beer was a terrible idea,” she whined. “It made us too loose-lipped!”

“Beg to differ,” said Aspik. “Best idea you’ve had, I think.”

Multimouse giggled. “Maybe.”

“Hey, Marinette?”

“Hm?”

“I do love you, you know. I meant that.”

She was quiet for some time before she finally drew away from him to look him in the face. She brushed his hair out of his eyes, dancing with a pure sort of happiness that made his heart burst with joy. She kissed his forehead, and then the tip of his nose, making his face heat up with anticipation.

As he watched, her eyes flickered to his lips, before she looked away nervously, biting her lower lip with worry. Adrien’s heart warmed - what, was this the hundredth time just that night? - and he brushed the tip of his nose against her chin.

“You know, you keep doing that and I might just kiss you,” he said teasingly.

He laughed softly as the tips of her ears turned red. “Well, you won’t hear me complain, mon écaille irisée ,” she muttered.

And well, so he kissed her. She seemed frozen in shock for a fleeting second before melting against him. Her hands locked around the nape of his neck as she pulled him closer, an almost mind-numbing tug at the base of his skull as she tilted his head back to get a better angle. He decided then and there that he wouldn't complain if they never stopped. He tried his best to cull the purr building in his throat because that would be dead giveaway, and wondered briefly if he'd develop snake-like tendencies as well if he wore the miraculous long enough. His teeth grazed her lower lip, where hers had been less than thirty seconds ago, and he bit it gently, greedily swallowing the moan she let out.

They finally parted for breath, and her buns sat skewed on the top of her head, messed up and unkempt, some strands straying loose and falling on her as she stared at him.

“You know, no one’s ever called me iridiscent before,” he said, eyes dancing with mirth as he swept back some of the loose hair off her face.

“Shut up, nicknames aren’t really my forte,” she pouted, leaning into give him another peck against his lips.

“No, I love it,” he assured her, making her look down at him again. “Will you promise to call me that forever?” he asked teasingly, an eyebrow quirked with mirth.

Everytime he thought she couldn’t turn any redder, she proved him wrong. And he loved her for it.

“You’re too much,” she complained. “You and Chat have been spending too much time together!

Adrien only laughed. “But you looooooove me.”

“Yeah I do.”

“I’m glad you didn’t get over me,” he said quietly.

Her smile faded and she looked at him fondly. “Thanks to you, you don’t make it easy, you know.”

“So I’ve heard,” he chuckled.

[michaelgrayyy]

One of us (10)

Michael Gray x Reader/ Peaky Blinders x Reader

Master list - https://michaelgrayyy.tumblr.com/masterlist

After the events at the distillery were settled Tommy invited everyone over for a meal at his grand house, you were relieved knowing it was over with the Italians. But it was still at the expense of losing John and in a way losing Michael as well, you knew he’d never be welcomed back home again by Tommy. You sit around with the others, you sit talking to Bonnie about his fight not being able to see him to congratulate him with everything that had gone on. The rest all talk amongst themselves, before Tommy shouts for you all to listen.  

“Right. Oi! Listen up. Before we all go and eat, I'd like to say a few words. The last time we were all here, it ended badly.” Tommy says looking over at you. “But now we’re in a happier place. That’s it.” he says with a small smirk. “I’d just like to raise a toast” he says as you all raise your glasses. 

“Hold on. Few words I’d like to say from the heart, and this time you’re going to let me finish, Tommy” Arthur says getting up to stand as he speaks. “Now as you all know, Arthur Shelby is dead. Because of that, Tommy’s offered me a way out. A new identity.” you look over at Tommy trying to read his thoughts as Arthur rattles on. “Start a whole new life for myself and I've thought about it. I’ve made a decision. I ain’t going fucking nowhere” he finishes gaining cheers and laughs from the room. You raise your eyebrows at Tommy earning you a smirk from him. “Now our enemies are gone. Dead, all of ‘em. For the first time since me and my two kid brothers, Tommy and John enlisted in the Warwickshire Yeomanry, we have peace. So, I think I’d like to make a proposal. All of you, The Shelby Company Limited, insist that Tommy here takes some time off. It’s time you took a holiday, Tom. Put your feet up. War is over. No-one wants to kill us. To peace” Arthur finishes and you look over at Tommy silently holding his glass. Knowing Tommy doesn’t know how to rest or take a holiday. They all cheers and you all get up heading into have food. You stay the night, spending some time with Charlie in the morning the next day. Tommy comes to see you off as you leave just after lunch.

“Whereto” Tommy asks as you walk down the step of the house with him. You debate lying to him but know he'll find out anyway. You both stop halfway down the steps.

“New York, going to visit Michael” you reply honestly, he raises his eyebrows with a knowing smirk and you almost roll your eyes but refrain. 

“Just visiting?” he asks not believing you’ll come back.

“Yes, just visiting. Then home, not too far from here” 

“That mean you’ll come to visit?” he asks 

“If you’ll have me” you reply with a smile and he smiles nodding as you both carry on walking again. 

“Charlie would like that” he replies. “You going to be safe in New York? Dangerous to be travelling alone” he adds 

“I’m not going alone” you say. “Isiah is coming with me” you say and he nods looking a bit more relieved, but only slightly seeing as you travelling with a young black man wasn't going to help you blend in any better. But, you trusted Isiah and you knew he’d look after you, and he was Michaels friend at one point. 

“Stay safe” he urges and you lean over giving him a kiss on the cheek before walking down the rest of the way to the car, the driver holding the door open for you as Tommy walks down to tell the driver where to take you, he also hands you some money which you try to decline but he insists, for your journey.

Tommy being Tommy ends up pulling a few strings and upgrading your seats on the train and on the ferry. You get disapproving looks from people around you as you travel with Isiah but you pay them no attention not giving them the time of day, it takes Isiah a bit more self control but you manage to convince him they aren’t worth his energy. It took days travelling to America and you were glad you asked Isiah to accompany you as he kept you entertained during the long ours and was your drinking buddy when all else failed, he also shared a cabin with you both agreeing it would be safer and he was respectful to give you your own space. After days of travelling on the ferry, you made it to land only to be boarding a train headed for New York. 

Finally, after days that felt like forever you arrive, New York, a driver is waiting for you at the station. Isiah laughs at you as you travel through the city, head practically glued to the window looking out in amazement. The driver pulls over telling you this is it and you step out as Isiah gets your case and his own, you look up at the apartment block in excitement. You grab your case off Isiah much to his protest before you both head in, you go to the lift both getting in and as you climb the floors your start to nibble your lip nervously. Isiah elbows you in the side, luckily your ribs had healed by now.

“Stop it. It’ll be fine” he reassures you seeing your nervous fidgeting. You reach the floor and open the lift door but you don’t step out, again with a shove from Isiah you step forward and head to the door. Isiah knows where this is heading and beats you to the door giving two quick knocks, you send him a scolding look and he smirks before you are interrupted by the door opening. You are greeted with the sight of Michael opening the door in a grey suited and it suddenly hits you that this may be the best bad idea you’ve ever had. He steps aside letting you both in, he gives Isiah a brotherly hug before turning to you and embracing you, you both hold on a bit longer until Isiah clears his throat and you both pull away avoiding eye contact. Leaving your cases by the door Michael leads you both over to a table before he grabs drinks for you both, pouring you a gin and a whisky for himself and Isiah. You notice the cane leaning by the door as he walks round to sit down beside you with only a slight limp. 

“So, how are we?” he asks leaning back in his chair whisky in hand and you smirk at him. 

“We beat the Italians” you reply with a shrug as if it was easy and he nods chuckling, you carry on. “ Arthurs alive” you add and he sits up in surprise. 

“Fucking hell” he sighs taking a drink, you loved that Polly left that out when she called him to tell him of you visit. Which reminds you, you look around the room locating the phone. 

“Can I quickly call and tell Tom I'm alive” you ask motioning to the phone, he nods and you get up walking over. Isiah gets up asking where to put the cases, he takes his case into the first spare room and leaves your case outside the door of the second. You dial the number for Shelby limited trying to guess the time difference but when no one answers you dial Tommy’s home phone. 

“Hello?” you hear him respond and you let out a sigh of relief.

“Tom, its me”

“Y/n, are you okay?” 

“I just wanted to call to let you know I got here okay” you hear him let out a deep sigh. “You okay, Tommy?” 

“How long are you staying?” he asks avoiding your question.

“I don’t know yet. What time is it there?” 

“Just after midnight” he replies and you nod looking over to Michael, you can see he’s listening but he’s trying to pretend he isn’t.

“Still can’t sleep” you say, not asking knowing he’ll never be able to just close his eyes. “When you taking that holiday Arthur talked about?” you ask and you hear a little tired chuckle on the other end.

“I bought a horse today. Just like the mare you used to ride when you were younger, thought you could go out with Charlie when you get back” he says and you know its his way of trying to convince you to come home.

“I am coming back” you insist knowing what he’s thinking, he doesn’t reply for a moment and you wonder if he’s left. 

“Stay safe, y/n” he says sounding worn out.

“Get some rest, Tom” you reply putting the phone down, just as Isiah walks back out the door wearing a new suit. “Where are you going?” 

“Downstairs for a drink, you two can catch up.” he shrugs heading towards the door. You got to protest worrying about him going out on his own but Michael cuts you off. 

“Two men down the hall, take them with you” he says and Isiah nods walking out the door. The door shuts, leading to silence in the room, you look over at Michael chewing your lip. “You look better, not needing the cane as much” you say breaking the silence and walking over to sit back down, he follows sitting back down with you nodding.

“You all healed?” you nod at his question. “How is everyone?” 

“Everyone’s....okay. I’m moving back to the village, not far from Tommy and Charlie, staying close to your mum. Arthur’s raising some chickens, Finn’s still getting up to trouble and Ada’s moved back to her home. Oh, Lizzie’s expecting, with Tommy. Your mum says its a girl. So god help us all. How are you, Michael?” He laughs when you tell him the news of a new Shelby 

“I was missing Small Heath, but you’re here now” he says, the smooth git. You blush looking away from him to take a drink, you look back up at him to see him intently watching you and you get up to walk over to the window. You can feel the tension in the room as the mood shifts between you both. 

“It’s not the same without you there” you say looking out the window not trusting yourself to look at him, but you hear him stand up walking over to you. He doesn’t say anything but you sense him moving closer. “He’ll never let you back, you know” you say still facing the window. You turn around coming face to face with Michael, he doesn’t say anything just takes your glass of gin of you putting it on the window sill beside you. You got to speak again but he with one swift move he pulls you closer covering your lips with his own, you instantly melt into the kiss. Neither of you having to worry about injuries as he backs you up against the wall deepening the kiss, he wastes no time getting rid of your blouse as you untie his tie and he shrugs off his jacket as you work on his shirt and waistcoat, meanwhile you both keep reconnecting your lips at any chance you get. He grips onto you, lips now on your neck as he backs up bringing you with him, his back hits his bedroom door as he fumbles for the doorknob. Opening the door, he spins you both so he's now backing you up, he backs you over to the bed throwing you on it. His hands instantly go to his belt quickly removing his trousers before he turns his attention to you sprawled out on the bed, still wearing your tights and pencil dress. He unzips the skirt tugging it down you legs, taking the tights with them. You hear them hit the floor and look up to him stood across from you, his chest is beating enough for you to see as you look at his bare barechest, the only noise that fills the room is the ragged breathing of you both as you take each other in. He pulls his boxers down before climbing into the bed, hovering over you, the room soon filled with new sounds. 

You open your eyes squinting at the light coming through the window, you rub your eyes and Michael stirs beside you. 

“Mornin’.” he mumbles and the events of last night come back to you and your cheeks heat up. You sit up covering yourself with the sheets looking at the scattered clothes on the floor and over at the desk where all the papers are now on the floor, after you and Michael decided to change up locations on your third round. You throw yourself back to lie down on the bed covering your face as you groan, Michael chuckles beside you and you feel the bed shaking. A knock on the door startles you before Isiah calls through, telling Michael there’s someone on the phone for him. You hide your face in Michael’s side from further embarrassment when Isiah adds a ‘morning y/n’ on the end of his sentence, you feel Michael’s chest vibrate again and whack his chest. He uncovers your face giving you a quick peck to the lips before getting out of bed grabbing a nearby robe to cover himself. You call out too Isiah to go back in his room and hear the door shut before you creep out, sheets still wrapped around you tightly as you grab your case and run into your own room mortified. 

Tag-list

@lemur46 

 message me if you want to be added :)

[obxfics]

The Kitchen

summary: as you look for your cousin, you end up enlisting the help of someone with whom you share a mutual dislike

pairing: jj maybank x reader

word count: 1,951

a/n: second pogue fic for choose your own adventure! it has been so long since i updated this series i am so sorry!! i tried to make this different from john b’s part because i dont want every part to seem too similar. once again i’m planning on a part two for jj like with john b! i hope y’all enjoy!

Introduction       The Dock

Masterlist    Taglist

“I’m checking the kitchen!” you called over your shoulder as you ran back into the club.

Jaime was known to eat everything so it wouldn’t surprise you if he tried to sneak into the kitchen to manipulate some poor busboy into giving him food with that angelic face of his. It worked every time on your parents and your mother’s parents, and they weren’t even his grandparents!

You rounded a corner and slowed your pace as you entered the dining room, making a beeline for the kitchen’s swinging doors. Just as you passed the bar and were about to push open the doors, someone stepped in front of you to block your path. Looking up, you found yourself meeting the cerulean gaze of JJ Maybank. Your heart leapt into your throat as you glared up at him. He didn’t like you, and you didn’t like him, but damn he was pretty. He matched your glare and cleared his throat.

“Where the hell do you think you’re going?” he asked as he put his hands on his hips. “Employees only, sweetheart.”

You scoffed and attempted to glance around him to see if you could catch a glimpse of your baby cousin. JJ quickly moved to block your view every time.

“Hey, would you stop?” He placed his hands on your shoulders to keep you in place. “Why do you want to stick your nose in there anyways?”

You rolled your eyes and sighed. Since he wasn’t going to be letting you step foot in there, you would unfortunately have to enlist his help.

“Did you see a little boy run in there?” you asked as you raised your hand to your waist. “He’s about this tall, curly dark hair, cute little dimples?”

JJ stared at you like you had lost your goddamn mind. You rolled your eyes again and shrugged off his hands, determined to get around him if he wasn’t going to help.

“Whoa, easy, you still can’t go in there,” he huffed as he once again moved to stop you. “Sorry, but I haven’t seen any kids around here. Your kind usually have them at the kids camp by the golf course.”

His eyebrows furrowed when he saw the way you ran a hand down your face. He could tell you were stressed, and suddenly Kie’s voice was whispering in his brain that he needed to stop being an asshole and help you or she would kick his ass.

“This kid you’re looking for, how old is he?”

“Six,” you replied. “He’s my little cousin. Jaime.”

“Hey.” He waited until you met his gaze and then offered you a small smile. “I still can’t let you inside, but I can go in and look. Ask the others if they’ve seen him. Is that okay?”

He could see the exact moment you processed his offer because he literally saw some of the stress in your shoulders leave your body. A smile tugged at your lips and you nodded gratefully. JJ was struck with the realization that you had never actually smiled at him before. Not that he could recall. He could see why Kie liked to hang around with you. When you weren’t glaring at him like he’d personally ruined your entire day, your smile actually filled him with a warm feeling that spread from his belly. Kinda like laying out in the sun on the HMS Pogue.

“That would be great, JJ,” you answered in a soft voice. “Thank you.”

“I’ll be right back.”

You nodded, and he stepped back into the kitchen, scanning the place for the curly haired boy you had described. Sounded like a sweet kid, and if he was related to you, he had to be cute. JJ approached one of the other waiters on his break.

“Hey, bro, you seen a kid around here?” he asked, watching as the poor guy tried to chew and swallow his lunch. “Super small, probably super cute too, I’m not sure. Goes by the name Jaime. His cousin is looking for him.”

Finally his coworker managed to choke down the food and took a quick sip of water before answering, “Check with Anne. I think I saw her take some kid into the office a while ago.”

JJ sighed in relief and smiled. “Thanks, bro. Enjoy your lunch.”

He hurried over to the office where Anne, his boss, usually took her breaks. She was a fair boss, letting JJ take home any leftovers from his shift and checking in if he ever showed up late. It didn’t surprise that she would take in a little kid lost in the kitchen. He knocked on the door before poking his head in. A grin grew on his face when he saw the boy with curly hair and dimpled cheeks sitting in one of the chairs with his little feet swinging.

“Anything I can help you with, JJ?” Anne asked as she looked up.

“Just came to snag the kiddo,” he replied. “His cousin is looking for him. Tried to break into the kitchens to find him,” he joked.

The boy looked over his shoulder at JJ, and the blonde surfer swore he melted at the sight of the dimpled smile that was so much like yours. What was in your gene pool that it produced such warm smiles? JJ blinked and smiled at the kid.

“C’mon, your cousin is worried sick, kiddo.”

Jaime slid off the chair and waved to Anne. “Thank you, Miss Anne!”

“Anytime, little one,” she promised, giving JJ a look that clearly said do not mention this to anyone. “JJ will make sure you get back to your family safe.”

A small hand slipped into JJ’s, and he wanted to scream. He had never really been good with kids, not that he had gotten many chances to interact with them, but he had to admit, they were adorable. The way they would just put so much trust into people, looking up at him with wide eyes and even wider smiles. He could’ve seen himself as a big brother if things had been different.

“Jaime!”

As soon as JJ swung open the doors, you were running over to sweep your little cousin into a warm hug. JJ felt a strange pang in his chest at the sight of the familial love. He briefly wondered what it would feel like to have that. To have his dad worry as much for him as you worried for Jaime.

“You can’t wander off like that, okay?” you told Jaime as you looked him over for any injuries. “Christian and Diego are still out looking for you. Oh, shit, I should text them!” Your eyes widened when you noticed JJ smirk and heard Jaime giggle. “Okay, wait, do not repeat that word. Your parents will kill me.”

Jaime looked up at JJ as you hurriedly typed a text to your brothers so they knew Jaime was found. The boy giggled and smiled, making JJ realize he was already missing some baby teeth. When did kids usually lose those?

“You work here right?” Jaime asked him.

“That’s right, kiddo. I bring people their food.”

His eyes lit up. “Can I have some?”

JJ almost laughed when he saw the way your head snapped to fix Jaime with a stern look.

“Jaime, you can’t just ask him to bring you food! That’s rude,” you hissed before offering JJ an apologetic look. “Besides, JJ is supposed to be serving other people right now.”

“Actually, as of…” he quickly checked his watch before continuing, “two minutes ago, I’m on break. And I could really go for some fries, what do you think, kiddo?”

He could feel his heart swell when he saw how excited Jaime got at the prospect of French fries, but it was over for him when he caught the look you were giving him. Like you were seeing him for the first time. He could feel his ears getting red and ducked his head, shoving his hands into his pockets.

“If it’s okay with you, of course,” he directed at you.

“I… yeah, that’s fine. Thank you.”

You and Jaime took a seat at a table to wait as JJ disappeared into the kitchen again. Jaime looked around at the dining room and the open windows facing the water on one side and the golf course on the other. He still wasn’t used to all the fancy things on Figure Eight.

“Your friend is nice,” Jaime said.

You couldn’t help the smile that crept onto your face. “Yeah, I guess he is.”

As JJ spent his break entertaining your cousin, you couldn’t tear your eyes from the pretty blonde. For the longest time the two of you had barely tolerated each other for Kie’s sake, but today he had gone out of his way to help you. And gone out of his way to spend more time with you and Jaime after he had found the little boy. You had been so sure you had JJ Maybank figured out, but you were seeing that maybe you had it all wrong. He was surprisingly sweet and good with kids, and that was doing things to you. Your heart skipped a beat whenever you would catch his eye, and you would quickly look away hoping he hadn’t noticed your staring.

“My break is almost over,” JJ told you regretfully as Jaime munched on one of the last fries left. “Thanks for keeping me company.”

“We have to leave?” Jaime asked with a sad look on his sweet face. “Can we see you again?”

“Yeah I gotta go back to work, but I’ll tell you what,” JJ crouched so he was eye level with Jaime, “I promise that we can hang out again soon. This time when I’m not working. You like surfing?”

“Um… I’ve never tried,” Jaime admitted shyly.

“Hey, then I’ll teach you! That sound good?”

Jaime’s eyes widened, and he practically launched himself at JJ before looking up at you with that puppy dog expression.

“Can I please go surfing with your friend?” he all but begged.

You laughed and shrugged. “I don’t see why not. It’ll give me a break from you giving me heart attacks all the time.”

Jaime let out a squeal and hugged JJ even tighter. JJ let out a quiet gasp and held back the tears that began to form. When was the last time he’d been hugged like this? He couldn’t remember. The little boy pulled back when he heard your brothers call out to you, and he ran over to tell them his exciting news. JJ cleared his throat as he got back up and brushed off his pants. You were giving him that look again, the one that made his ears burn.

“You… you’re something else, Maybank,” you told him before wrapping your arms around him. “Thank you.”

This time he couldn’t help the few tears that escaped him as he returned your hug. You were warm, and he thought he could stay like that his whole goddamn life. You gave him one last squeeze and stepped back, pretending not to notice when he quickly wiped at his cheeks.

“Um, you can ask Kie for my number or I can ask for yours. So you can tell me when you want to teach the little monster.”

“Actually, you, uh… I mean, if you want, you can come too,” he offered, feeling uncharacteristically shy with this shift in your relationship. “I mean, I’d… I’d like it if you came too.”

“Okay. I’ll be looking forward to your text, then.” You surprised him by leaning up to press a kiss to his cheek. “See you around, JJ.”

Continue Reading        Start from the beginning

taglist: @obxlife​ @infinityspaceuniverse​ @diverrdown​ @shawnssongs​ @kikifromtheblock​ @stargazingstarkey​ @scandalousfemale​ @pheyward​ @thatjohnd​

[lambourngb]

he’s got a smart mouth but a good heart - Michael Guerin

It’s Day 2, celebrating characters, and much to my own surprise, at the end of season 2, Michael Guerin decided to move into my brain and take up residence. Obviously I still love Alex Manes (He lives first and foremost in my brain since 1x08), but there was something about how Michael buried his own pain about his mother to help everyone in season two that rang pretty true to my own life right now. I didn’t always like what he was doing in season 2 but I understood it.

Anyway, when I find a story that celebrates how complicated he is, I cheer and rejoice- so here’s a few of the stories that I have gone back to again and again.

Truck stop knives and other assessors of childhood @angsty-aliens (13,200) I can’t lie, I love a good trope story, and I especially love a good sci-fi trope story, so this story hits all of my buttons. It takes our two science nerds, Liz and Michael, mucking around, and accidentally creating a version of Michael- but not just any version, but the child who hitchhiked to Fosters ranch, completely over humans and desperate to find his family. The kid who was feral from neglect and abuse... he was the cutest thing and the most mortifying thing that ever happened to Michael to be displayed and shown. This story takes the de-aged trope and turns it on its head, and oh yeah, there’s a sweet backdrop to Michael and Alex getting together.

Implicit Memories of You by @ninswhimsy (3464) - So this is an amnesia story canon-divergent story set after 2x11 basically, where they use the mind erasing drug on Michael. I know, I’m reccing this about Michael characterization, but it’s so solidly him after all the memories are stripped away and he’s acting on instincts, locked in a room to torture Alex with before death. There’s so much going on in so few words, something that Nin is a master at, especially the ephemeral remembrances of his mother that Michael has- oof right in the feels.

Maybe this time (he’ll stay) by @hannah-writes​ (7700) This is a sequel to one of my favorite stories I recced last year, dealing in alternative timelines where in one world, Michael is lost and alone and has pushed Alex away, and in another world where Alex came home from Iraq in a flagged draped coffin. It answers the question, what about Mikey? Where’s his happy ending? The confirmation of the multiverse means there’s an Alex out there who needs him- and through trial and error, Michael finds him. The world building in both stories is top notch, because for every action, there’s a reaction and reason shaping Michael.

Constant as the northern star by celzmccelz (53,000) - don’t know the tumblr here - This is an Mpreg, and it starts solidly after 1x13 and goes AU from there. But what if in the 100 mile drive home from Caulfield, Michael and Alex share a grief-induced moment of insanity where they fall back into their oldest language- sex for comfort, and then Michael does everything he does in the finale, including turning toward Maria, what if there was a souvenir? Despite the trope of mpreg, this is just how I see Michael, deeply in love with Alex but unable to trust that Alex feels the same depth in return. The friendships in here are also top-notch, from Kyle being a baby-doctor, to Isobel having her own Max-related spiral unable to let go of her brother only to refocus on Michael, to Liz fucking off with Rosa for the first half of the story because she’s caught up in her own grief (which turned out to be canon!). And there’s a whole plot here! With Jesse Manes being the worst.

Leave the light on by @sabrinachill​ (36,900) - Confession time- I love fake dating as a trope, I know, shocked right? But I especially love it with RNM because Malex are exes by 1x03. Mattie nailed the dynamic of pining and the assumption of unrequited love so well in this story. Although the POV switches here a bit between chapters, (and Alex is fabulous) what I really really loved was how she wrote Michael, in love but convinced that he’s messed up too much for Alex. Aware of his faults but not in a sullen way, but an acknowledgment that he was in a bad place and Alex hasn’t always been the best remedy him in the past. It was a very mature take on the “give me another chance” trope in Malex reunion stories, where both sides had a share of blame. The plot was suspenseful and tight (how do people do that???) with a climax that honestly shocked me! I really enjoyed rereading it while I prepped my rec-sets, and I won’t be surprised if this story isn’t mentioned by everyone doing ‘Creators Week’. It’s worthy of all the love.

Temporary wounds by @prouvaireafterdark​ (7800) - How many times can I rec this story? Hopefully you’re not bored by my adoration of this Lynne.  So even though it’s set post-season 1 with the assumption that Michael/Maria will fizzle out while Alex/Forrest date- it’s actually perfectly set for season 3 (an author who is psychic??). As a rule, I hate jealousy as a trope, but this story has the only type of jealousy I want to see on screen- where Michael wonders what was missing inside of him that Alex didn’t want to be public during their long affair (even with the acknowledgment that Alex was too scared before)- like that type of sad pining is my catnip!

The first who ever did by nostalijinks (33,000) post season 1, but really it also stands pretty well after season 2.  There was an interview during season 1 I think that talked about how all Michael really wanted was to be a hero to Alex (the way he stepped in front of Jesse as a kid)  but he thinks he failed at it since Alex enlisted. That failure soured him in ways but he never stops trying, for Alex. This is a really well done 5 times plus 1 story, with an overreaching arc of reconciliation between Alex and Michael, starting as teenagers, then as adults while Michael is with Maria, then as friends, real friends, trying to support Alex as Alex dates. The whole emotional journey of maturity that Michael takes here is so well done, where there’s no real villains in the friend group. I just love it. I wish the author had written 100 more like this one, but as a standalone work it’s epic.

The person that you’d take a bullet for is behind the trigger by @iwontbeyourmedicine​ (25,000) Ly has a very large body of work, that you could spend days paging through on AO3 or tumblr, but this one hits two of my kinks hard- the amnesia story line and true love conquers all. So three fandoms ago I was huge into Steve/Bucky, that iconic moment in Cap 2 where Bucky breaks through the brainwashing has never left me. This story takes my love for that moment, and makes it Malex. Alex gets programmed by his family and set loose on his friends, on the aliens and it’s a shitshow bloodbath since he’s really fucking good at kicking ass. Michael is caught between keeping everyone safe and trying not to hurt Alex, and the tension is just top-notch. I love how it’s not an immediate fix either, the way they circle each other in the aftermath, wanting to come home, but home would be a totally new step for both of them. Just chef’s kiss good at joining action, angst, and romance together.

Into the palm of your hand by @haloud​ (5900) hal is a treasured friend, so I am admitting some bias here, but we both enjoy talking about how wonderful and sad Michael is and how desperately we enjoy poking at that softness and then wrapping him up with love again... so this story was written pre-shamegate (and if you know what that means, I’m sorry) but it matches my head canon of what the history of hiding does to someone. The internalization of believing maybe there’s a reason behind the hiding that has nothing to do with homophobic townies. Alex has an ex boyfriend come to town, and he doesn’t tell Michael. And omg the journey hal takes us on with Michael’s spiral and Brave Little Toaster act was so wonderful and painful and real. The communication between these two was top notch as they worked through a road bump from the past, and let’s face it, once we get our malex back, these things are going to happen, and it will either tear them apart or bring them closer together- I prefer to believe it will be closer together.

There is beauty in a failure by @jule1122​ (2400) There’s been a few Greg and Michael stories to pop up on my radar after 2x10, and this one was one of my favorites. This is a Greg who pulls no punches in exposing his brother’s past to Michael, but also gives Michael the space to work through what he wants. It’s an AU from 2x12, that allowed Michael to break up with Maria for basically the same reasons that Maria used on him in 2x13. The way Michael is able to what he wants and communicate it Alex in the end- so good! We can only hope to see something similar in season 3.

I don’t know what to think (but I think of supernovas) by @queersirius​ (3900) This story is a delight from start to finish- I mean frustrated cursing turns the console on into a hologram who then takes the most pleasing form to Michael’s eyes? SIGN ME UP for those shenanigans. I fucking loved how Isobel saw it first too. And then the comedy of Alex discovering it? And what happens afterwards? Oh it’s so delicious. Now of course, full disclosure, this light-hearted romp through the feels also inspired me  to think up a much much sadder version of Michael building an AI for companionship considering how isolated he ended up being at the end of Season 2 and we all know Michael needs friends, badly.

Innuendo by the Roswell anon (6000) written for @bisexualalienblast​  the roswell anon is my favorite treasure in this fandom, I could pretty much list all of their stories as examples of some very fine Michael Guerin characterization. This one was one of my favorite post-season 1 fix-it fics though, because it has some of the most real 28-30 year old guy dialogue I’ve come across- from the crude jokes, to the sharply self-deprecating observations- this is Alex and Michael stripped down, all edges but what’s left is fatigue and love. The resolution at the end, where Alex observes that yes, Michael has tried the last 10 years but this is their first chance to try together- to pull in the same direction? It just lays me flat on the ground with how true that is to canon.

Whenever You Want to Begin, Begin by @foramomentonly (3200) - this is a sequel, and the first story is dynamite- don’t get me wrong- but it moves from the hopeful side of an ending to legit Happily-Ever-After here, and I devoured every word. First of all, having Michael turn to photography as a way of self-improvement is fucking genius. Photographers are always at the center of every happy event, but never the focus, and that screams Michael to me, the way he lives on the outskirts of the 9-5 job and literal outskirts of town in his trailer. The other thing is photographers are revealed by their work, and that’s also something I head-canon with Michael just in the mundane- he’s good with his hands, he wants to leave a car better than he found. Anyway, this story is gorgeously written, moves a bit like a really good bottle of wine- heavy but soft, as you watch Michael become Alex’s friend, and even more importantly, Alex becomes Michael’s friend. Fantastic- I’ve read it about four times now since it was published.

[toomuchtv95]

My Savior Part 1

Characters: Jay Halstead x Reader, WIll Halstead, Jake (OC)

Word Count: 2.5k+

Chapter Warnings: Kidnapping, Domestic Abuse, Swearing 

A/n: So I am just finishing up part 2 and I am going to start writing part 3. I am going to see how much feedback and stuff I get from the first 3 parts and then I will see where to go from there. Anyways, let me know what you guys think. 

Enjoy! :)

Series MasterList

(PS. I do not own the gif. Credits to whoever owns it.)

Jay Halstead walked back into your life, 6months ago while you were working the bar that your husband owned. Jay and you were childhood friends that eventually lead to being high school sweethearts, and after he enlisted in the army the two of you lost contact for a while. Once Jay returned from the Army, you had run into him a few times over the years and had shared a few nights together but nothing serious ever came out of it. When Jay came into the bar, you found out that he was a detective at the 21st district and has investigated a murder that Jake, your husband, may have been involved in. He said that they had evidence that Jake was part of a murder that had gone down because of a gun deal went bad. But in the end, the evidence wasn’t enough.

When you first meet Jake, you had no idea he was part of the gun dealing business, he acted like a perfect gentleman and you fell in love with him and two of you got married. Once the two of you got married, you started to notice that he was gone a lot, always on the phone or working late at his bar. The first night, you questioned where he was, he laid his hand on your cheek and left the house again. One night after Jay came by the bar, you couldn’t help but wonder, so you did some snooping of your own and what you found was shocking. Jake was part of the gun dealing business and much more. After that night, the hitting became more and worse and that when you started to realize that Jake never really loved you.

It has been a couple of months since you saw Jay, and you weren’t going to lie, you been thinking a lot about him. This afternoon, your neighbors had called 911 and saying that they heard yelling and a loud crashing sound. When your husband answered the door, two detectives were flashing their badges. Jay and his partnered walked into the house to look around and saw the shattered glass on the floor. When you appeared in the hall, Jay asked what happen and you told him that you had dropped the vase. Jay caught a small glimpse of your cheek and asked you if Jake was the one who caused the bruise and of course you denied it and said you had fallen down the stairs. You could see the anger in his eyes because he had an idea what had to happen here but of course, he couldn't do anything without proof. Before leaving Jay had slipped you his card in hopes that you would reach out to him.

“I have some business to take care of, clean this mess up.” Jake walked out of the living room and went into the office, slamming the door behind him. Getting the cleaning supplies, you needed you started to clean the floor but stopped for a moment to grab the business card from your pocket and more tears rolled down your face.

You wanted nothing more to leave this life, and get away from Jake, but you knew if you left, he would find you and hurt you or worse. After dinner, you were in the kitchen cleaning up, when you heard Jake rolled into the room. “What the hell is this?” You turned around to see Jake holding Jay’s card in his hand.

“It’s nothing,” you stuttered as you turned back around to clean the dishes. “The detective left his card its protocol. I was going to throw it away, but I got distracted with dinner.” You closed your eyes in hope that he believes your story, but of course, he didn't.

"You think I'm stupid?" Jake came up behind you, grabbed a handful of your hair and yanked you backward. “Are you cheating on me with that cop?!” Anger filled the room as he jerked you down to the floor and punched you in the face. “How could you do this? After everything I’ve given you!”

“You never loved me, did you?” Tears filled your eyes not because of Jake, but because of the pain. Looking into his eyes, you saw anger, hate and everything but love. His hands tightening around your throat, you were sure they would leave a bruise.

“How could I? Look at you, you’re just a worthless piece of shit. I've had a better lay from a stranger than you.” He let go of you and rolled his eyes at you before grabbing his keys and leaving the house. Laying on the floor you cried your eyes out. All you want to do was leave. Looking across the room, you crawled over to the piece of paper and leaned yourself against the counter.

Your eyes leaked with tears. Your walls, the walls that held you together, finally collapsed. Salty tears rolled down your face. Perhaps the tears would help wash the blood that had trickled from your busted lip. You pressed your head against the counter as you reached for your phone off the counter and punched in the number that was on the card. It rung 2 times before the voice came from the other side of the phone. “This is Halstead.” Hearing his voice was a relief, but something stopped you from speaking. “Y/N? Is that you?”

“J-a-y….”

“Y/N what’s wrong?” You heard the worry in his voice.

“Jake,” was the only words you could manage to get out and Jay knew exactly what you meant.

“Where is he?” You heard shuffling on the other end of the line which means Jay was coming to get you.  

“I don’t know, he left.”

“Okay, listen to me.” Wiping the tears and blood from your face, you held your eyes tightly shut waiting for Jay to continue. "I need you to find a room and lock yourself in there and don't open it until I get there okay?"

“Ok-ay,” you choked on your words as you slowly got off the floor. “Jay, please hurry. I don’t know when he will be back.” After hanging up the phone, you did as Jay told you and hid in the bedroom.

As Jay pulled up to your house, he unholstered his gun and slowly made his way into the house. Looking around the first floor, he saw a shattered plate in the kitchen sink, along with some blood on the floor. Making his way upstairs, he checked the rest of the rooms before finally approaching the master bedroom. “Y/N, it’s Jay.” Jay heard movement from behind the door, as he holstered his gun. Once the door open, Jay took a once look over you and could see how fragile you were. “He did this to you didn’t he?” Jay light brushed the hair out of your face, to expose the light bruising forming on your, your busted lip that had now dried blood and the former bruise that laid on the side of your face.

You nodded you headed slowly as more tears formed and rolled down your cheek. “If I leave, he will find me and hurt me or worse…”

“Come with me and I will make sure you safe.” Jay lightly touched your upper arms, which caused you to slightly flinch, which caused him to pull away. You nodded your head and let Jay lead the way down the stairs and towards the first door.

You came to a stop at the front door causing Jay to stop. “The office. His laptop is in there. All the information you need is on there.” Jay nodded his head before slipping away to the office to grab the laptop. As you waited for Jay in the hallway, you hugged yourself and wiped your tears with your fingertips. You grabbed your coat from the coatrack as Jay walked out of the office the laptop and a file folder.

“Okay, come on. Let’s get out of here.” Jay placed his hand on your lower back and guided you outside to his truck. As the two of you got in the car, you stared out the window and for a few blocks it was quiet until Jay spoke up. "How long?"

“Jay…” Pulling away from the window you looked over at Jay and the two held contact for a moment before he looked back at the road. "He wasn't always like this. He started off as a great guy until we married, and I started to notice things. He would be gone for hours at a time, sometimes days, and always on the phone. So, when I asked him, he got angry and-” you stopped mid-sentence as more tears formed in your eyes. You honestly were tired of crying and you didn’t even think you had any more left in you.

Jay reached over and hesitated for a moment before lightly giving your hand a light squeeze. “Y/N, I am going to do everything I can to protect you, I promise.” The car came to a stop at a red light which gave Jay a chance to turn and face you. “You can stay with me as long as you need. I have a spare bedroom that isn’t being used.” You didn’t want to intrude but you didn’t have anywhere to go and there was no way you are going back to Jake.

“So, what happens now?”

“I take this to my boss, and if all the evidence is on that laptop like you say, then Jake going away for a long time. And we work on getting your divorce which might not be easy if he doesn't sign the papers, but there are ways around getting a divorce without his consent. But let’s focus on charging him first okay?” You nodded your head just as the light green and Jay continued you to drive.

Once the two of you got to Jay’s apartment, he gave you a quick tour of the place and showed you where everything was. "And this is the guest bedroom, it's barely been used expect the couple times Will has spent the night." You picked at the ends of your sweater to avoid looking at Jay or anything. “I know this is a lot to take in, so I let you be and get settled. I’ll bring you some clothes and fresh towels.”

Jay turned around and started to head out the door, but you finally found your voice, “thank you, Jay.” Jay turned to look at you and he could see that you were on the verge of tears again. Jay took slow steps towards you making sure you were okay with him approaching you. Once Jay stood in front of you, you sobbed into his chest, endlessly, hands clutching at his shirt. He held you in silence, rubbing your back slowly as your tears soaked his chest.

It’s been about a week since Jay had taken you out of your house and brought you to safety. After intelligence had gotten all the evidence, they had gone to go find him but unfortunately, he was nowhere to be found, but Jay promised you that they were not going to stop looking for him. The house, the bar and whatever else Jake owned was now owned by the bank. The bar was a front for his gun selling business and the house was paid with the money from that business. Even though, the two of you were married your name was not any of that stuff, so you were thankful for that. The only money you had was whatever you had saved from before your marriage, and before and during working at the bar. 

“How are you doing otherwise?” Today, you were back at Med getting your stitched taken out that had laid above your eyebrow. This is the first time since that night, that you have left the house and you were a little scared. Jake was still out there, and he could reappear any moment.

“I’m fine.” The bruise that had begun as a purple stain above your eyebrow had now sunk into the socket itself, and so now it had the appearance of a black eye. The bruising around your neck had turned into this nasty yellow-brown looking. Once Will took out the stitched, he took a once look at your bruises to make sure everything was healing right.

Will tossed his gloves in the garbage can and takes a seat back down on the stool. “I can’t even imagine what you went through, and I know it can’t be easy, but keeping it bottled up isn’t good.”

“I’m just not ready to talk about…” Will knew from experience not to push someone because they usually push back. Grabbing his prescription from his pocket, Will scribbled something on it before handed you the piece a paper.

"It's a low dosage of sleeping medication. It will help you sleep." You had no idea how Will could know that you weren’t sleeping that well. Maybe he saw it in your face or maybe Will was just that good of a doctor. "The bruising should start fading soon. Anyways, your good to go.”

After Will left the room, you pulled out your phone and texted Jay telling him you were ready to be picked from your appointment. Within seconds he replied stating that he would be there in 10 minutes. As you left the room, you waved goodbye to Will and headed out to wait for Jay in the parking lot. The moment you stepped outside, you felt a chill run down your spine and you weren't if it was the autumn breeze or the feeling that something was off. You hugged yourself and silently prayed that Jay would show up soon. Seconds later, you felt something hard press up against your back and a hand cupping your face causing fear to take over your body.

“You make a sound and I swear to god I will pull the trigger.” Your eyes widen and your breath became harsher. He found you and now he was going to kill you for leaving him. “I’m removing my hand and you are not going to make a sound. Now move.” Jake slowly removed his hand and you know better not to make a sound. Jake pressed the gun harder into your back to single you to move. You walked slowly in hopes to stall him long enough for Jay to show up.

“Don’t do this.” Tears filled your eyes as you whispered just loud enough for him to hear. Jake ignored you and wrapped his free hand roughly on your upper arm and guided you into the parking lot.

As the two of you walked into the parking lot and approached a black car with tinted windows and no license plates. “Get in the car.” Without hesitation, you got into the car and Jake grabbed your purse and tossed into onto the ground. Jake tucked the gun in his waistband then pulled out zip ties and tied your hands together. “You think that you can just leave, and I wouldn’t find you? I have resources everywhere.” He pulled out a handkerchief from his back pocket and tied into around your mouth to keep you from yelling for help.

Tag List: @nervousmemzie @hehurst23 @anamile6878 @esauthor @stephmazz1990 @daenerys-targaryes @bellageorge03 @haileymatthewss @useyourmarners @kadygirl @get0verit @yienell-mariee @olihju @lovelydivs @stuffedcabbagepatch @chrisrandumness @shipatheart @jocelyn1718 @shadyfox242 @boo20-05 @beachfan412 @mheart27 @supyfish @aparkel @httphiddlestan @haleyjs86 @onechicago18 @ladyate @whatisanniedoin @citylightsla @thevelvetseries @wemma554 @samiam9525 @detectiveinchicago @tyzerman91 @foulstatesmandragonbear @spiridakos-wp @katie1996 @glittermakesmesmile @itsdesiree86​ @chloebear26 @delcateswift @rosemusic18 @transparentwombathorsedreamer @detective29 @cjhorseback​ @sgtsophie​ @onechicagofan20​ @katiehud​

[lucisfavoritedemon]

All the Time In the World

Pairing: Bucky x reader

Summary: After so many years of being a soldier of HYDRA, you decided you wanted to change the future for you and Bucky, and the only way to do that was to go back and save him from falling off that train. The life you lived only gave you and the people you affected, trauma. Will your efforts be worth it to save him from years of suffering, or will you find that his future can’t be rewritten?

Square filled: time travel @marvelfluffbingo

Warnings: Angst, super fluffy, anxiety, fear of loneliness, hopelessness, mentions of torture and violence.

Word Count: 10238

Enjoy!

I wouldn’t say that this story is particularly a happy one. The ending may or not be so happy depending on how you look at it. The story really doesn’t have an ending. It is still being written. It has what every good story does, love, loss, psychopathic tendencies. This is the story of how I attempted to change my story. A redemption tale as others would say, but it wasn;t just mine I was rewriting. I was rewriting mine, to change the fate of the love of my life.

In order for you to understand why I have decided to go back in time, and change the outcome of certain situations, I must start at the beginning. Not the very beginning, but where things started to change for me and my friends. I had two best friends, Steve and Bucky. We did absolutely everything together, and it was a no brainer that someone was eventually going to fall in love with someone. 

You’re probably wondering why that is relevant, but I promise it will all make sense soon. I never planned on falling in love with either of them. They were my friends and I just couldn’t see me kissing them, or doing other things with them. That was till Bucky and I started to hang out more on our own. He was kind, and charming. He was everything a girl could ask for.

We decided it was best to keep our relationship a secret till we felt like it was going to go further than a few nights spent together. That meant keeping it from Steve. We hated sneaking around him, but we both felt it was for the best. Even if it meant sneaking through Bucky’s window at night, and waiting till Steve had left in the morning to leave. It was something we got used to though. Something that both gave us some form of hope in a time where there wasn’t much.

Our odd, yet comfortable routine soon came crashing down one particular morning. Bucky and I were cuddled in bed, my head on his bare chest listening to the steady beat of his heart. We both were awoken by a loud knock on the door. I shot up, and shook him awake.

“I’m up, I’m up.” He groaned.

“Door.”

He huffs, and gets up putting on some pants. I throw on a robe quickly and hide in the doorway. Bucky answers, and is handed a letter. I couldn’t hear what the person on the other side of the door was saying, but Bucky’s face said it all. They then handed him folded up clothes, and I knew what was about to happen. He shut the door, and stood there for a minute.

“Buck?”

“I just got my orders.” He sounded sad, and disappointed.

“When do you leave?”

“Tomorrow morning.”

“We at least get one more day together.”

“Yeah, but I was hoping they would have ignored my name. Guess that was just wishful thinking.”

I walk over and take his papers, “Sergeant James Barnes. Suits you.”

“You’re just saying that.”

“You think I would lie to you?”

“I was hoping you would beg me to stay.”

“You could get arrested for that Buck.”

“I guess you’re right. No matter what, I have to be away from you.”

I smile, “I know it’s going to be hard. It’ll be hard for me too, but we’re going to get through this. I know we will.”

“I hope so. I guess I should get dressed and go find Steve.”

“I’ll come with you.”

“Maybe we should finally tell him.”

“Do you think that’s a good idea?”

“He’s going to know eventually.”

“What do you mean?”

“When I put you down as the person to be notified if I die, or go missing.”

“Don’t talk like that,” I walk over to him caressing his face, “nothing is going to happen to you. You’ll live through this. You have to.”

“You never know.”

“No, I refuse to accept that.”

“Always so stubborn.”

I smile, “I’m sure you would be concerned if I wasn’t.”

“That’s very true.” He kisses me before changing.

“We will get through this. I promise.” I cup his face once he is changed.

He kisses the palm of my hand, “I hope so. I just got you all for myself, and now I’m going off to fight a war I’ve been trying to keep Steve away from.”

“Buck, things will be okay. You’re strong, and the smartest man I know. You will survive this war. I know you will.”

“If something is to happen to me, is it okay if my letter is sent to you?”

“Nothing is going to happen to you. But, if you want to, yes. It’s okay.”

He smiles and pulls me close. We share a wonderful kiss before walking out to find Steve. We wandered the streets of Brooklyn trying to remember where he said he was going today. We then found him in an alleyway near a movie theatre. He was fighting someone nearly twice his size. I just shook my head. This was the fifth fight he has gotten into this month. Bucky goes and saves him as usual, but punches him harder when the guy’s attention turned to me. 

“I could have handled it.” I snap.

“But I wanted to be your hero.” He gave a playful pout.

“You’re lucky you’re good looking Barnes.” I walk over to Steve, “you okay Steve?”

“I’m fine,” he flashes a smile, “I think you could have handled yourself just fine,”

“Don’t use flattery Steve.” I giggle.

Steve looks on the ground where Bucky had dropped a piece of paper, “what’s this?”

“I just got my orders. Sergeant James Barnes of 107th.”

“When do you leave?”

“I leave first thing tomorrow morning.”

“Let’s not dwell on the future. Let’s live in the moment. By that,” I hold up a newspaper, “let’s go to the Stark exhibition. I think it would be fun.”

“That is a great idea, doll.” Bucky smiles.

“Maybe.” Steve said.

“So Steve, what were you doing?” I asked, knowing very well what he had been doing.

“You didn’t.” Bucky looked at him with a serious look.

“They rejected me anyway.”

“Look, I love you both, but Steve with Bucky leaving I need you around. Who else am I supposed to annoy?”

“She’s right ya know? I need someone to make sure she is taken care of.”

“I know, but I can’t help but feel like it’s my calling.”

“Steve, I need you here. I don’t want to be all alone.”

“Well I don’t want to be alone in his house. You at least have your parents.”

“Steve, there is something we have to tell you.” I started.

“We both knew you were trying to enlist, but we both don’t want to see you get hurt. I sure don’t want Y/n to get a letter saying you died.”

“Yeah. Imagine how upset I would be. The only person at your funerals.”

“I guess that’s fair.”

Bucky wraps his arms around our shoulders as we walk out of the alleyway. We head out to the exhibition. We meet up with a couple girls that Bucky knew. I lagged behind watching Bucky with the brunette. I knew he was doing it to keep Steve off our trail, but I couldn’t help but get jealous. Steve noticed and grabbed my hand. I squeezed it tightly. Bucky turned and shot me a look while Steve watched the demonstration on stage.

I just shrugged and gestured to him holding the girl’s hand. He gave me an apologetic look and turned back. I didn’t want to leave things off like this, but it was his decision. I had to respect it no matter how badly I wanted him to be holding my hand.

“I’ll be right back.” Steve whispered in my ear.

I nod, and stand there awkwardly. The girl grabs Bucky’s arm and I fight every urge I had to tell her to get lost. I knew I had to play nice while Steve was gone. Bucky turned back around and just saw me and not Steve.

“Excuse me ladies.” Bucky says and grabs my wrist. Walking briskly away.

“He said he would be back.”

“Yeah but there is an enlistment station here.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t know.” I yank my wrist from his grip.

“What’s your problem?”

My eyes fill with tears as the emotions I held in all night come flowing out, “this was our last night together, and I have to watch you hold hands with another woman. I was going to tell Steve in the alley so I could actually be with you tonight.”

He looks at me looking so guilty, “doll, I’m so sorry. I should have let you tell him. I didn’t realise how upset you would be.”

“Normally I wouldn’t, but with this being the last night we get to hang out together for who knows how long. I wanted us to be able to be like an actual couple.”

He nods, and takes my hands in his, “once we find Steve, we will tell him. That way we can spend the rest of the night with each other. The real us.” He kisses me gently.

I smile into it before pulling away, “you can’t act like you didn’t get jealous either.”

“Okay, okay. It’s only ‘cause I know how Steve feels about you.”

“Is that why you didn’t want to tell him?”

“He would have gotten mad at me. He always says I get the ladies, and he would kill me if he found out I took you from him.”

“You didn’t take me from him. I approached you about my feelings.”

“Still.”

We walk to the enlistment tent and see Steve on the pedestal that lights up with your face in an army uniform. Bucky walks up and grabs his shoulder gently. Steve turns around and looks at us. 

“You keep doing this, people are going to catch on and you’re going to get arrested. You can’t keep changing the place you’re born. Seriously Steve. It’s going to get you into trouble.”

“I know, but I never know till I keep trying. Someone will eventually send me out there right?”

“Steve that’s not the point. You get arrested, you can’t go at all. Period. I’m sorry, but I would like to not see my best friend in jail.” I say, pleading with him.

“Steve, I need you to promise me something.” Bucky says, looking serious.

“Anything.”

“After tonight, if you don’t get enlisted, stay and keep my girlfriend company while I’m gone?”

“Fine. She seemed like a nice girl.”

“I’m not talking about the girl I had on my arm tonight Steve. I’m talking about Y/n.”

“Y/n?”

“Look, I’ve been trying to get him to tell you for months now, but he didn’t want you to get mad. It was my decision. He had no influence on my feelings. I promise.”

“Fine. For Y/n, I would do anything.”

“Good. Her and I are gonna go dancing, wanna join?” “I’ll catch up.” Steve says.

“Okay. Don’t do anything stupid till I get back.”

“How can I? You’re taking all the stupid with you.” Bucky chuckles, and wraps his arm around my waist as we go to walk away.

“Bucky, don’t win the war without me.”

“I’ll try not to.” Bucky salutes, and we walk off to dance the night away.

~*~

It was late October 1943, I was running around the house trying to get ready for work. I had been brought on in a huge project, and had been working long hours to keep my mind off things. I was just about ready to leave when there was a knock on the door. I ran to it not thinking much of, maybe someone selling bonds, or wanting to know if there was a man that lived in the house that wanted to enlist. Wouldn’t be the first time it’s happened. I open the door and I'm greeted by a man in uniform.

“Are you Miss Y/l/n?”

“Yes?”

They hand me a letter, “I’m so sorry ma’am.”

He walks off, and I can’t help but think that Steve had gone and gotten himself killed.

Dear Miss Y/l/n,

I am sorry to inform you that Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes of the 107th had been captured behind enemy lines on October the 5th 1943. We are writing to inform you that he has been missing in action. So sorry for your loss.

Sincerely,

Colonel Chester Phillips.

This was my absolute worst nightmare. I couldn’t take the time to grieve though, so I tucked the letter in my pocket, and took off running. I made it with 5 minutes to spare and punched in. I ran downstairs to the lab where my other colleagues were hard at work.

“You are late.”

“I’m two minutes early, what are you talking about?”

“You are always 20 minutes early.”

“Oh, well I got stopped on my way out.” I start pulling things out of my pockets and the letter falls to the floor.

“What is this Miss Y/n?”

“Oh that’s nothing.” I try to yank it from his hands, but he reads it anyway.

“I’m so sorry for your loss.”

“Thanks, but I don’t believe he’s dead. I believe he’s alive. His best friend is big and buff. He’ll go save him once he gets word about his disappearance.”

“You have a lot of faith in him don’t you?”

“Have to. Keeps my mind steady.”

I get to work, as the men gather around and begin talking amongst themselves. It wasn’t unusual, but they didn’t typically start this early. I just brushed it off, and kept working. When lunch rolled around, they started acting even more strange.

“We all were wondering if you wanted to run a late night experiment sometime?”

“Maybe, but that all depends on when.”

“We will discuss that at a later date, but we all find it best you go home for the day. Take time to grieve.”

“I am not grieving. He will escape. I know he will. He’s smart. Also his best friend is Captain America. You’ll see.”

They look amongst each other before one of them speaks up, “just go home. We need you well rested. You’ll be working longer hours than you have. You’ll be glad you did.”

“Fine. I won’t complain. I’m no further in the research project you assigned to me, than I was last week. So, I will take you on that.”

“See you in the morning then.” They all waved me goodbye as I walked out, and clocked out.

The following week was interesting. I had picked up every newspaper available to bring to my coworkers who didn’t believe that Bucky would escape from the German base. “Told ya so.” I said, throwing the paper’s on their work space.

“I guess we were. I’m glad he is safe and sound.”

“Me too.”

The next few months became interesting for me. More and more the guys wanted me to stay later and later. They seemed to want to drain me of any possible energy. It was like I was their own personal experiment, ‘let us see how long someone can last without getting a goodnight of sleep’. 

“Now that you have seemingly passed our test with great ease, it’s time for the true experiment to begin.” One of them spoke up.

They asked me to follow them down a creepy looking corridor. There at the end of the hall was a chair with all sorts of interesting things around it. They ask me to sit in the chair. I noticed that there was a tiny chamber in the room. They strap me to a chair, one on each arm and leg, and one around my neck. They shove a rubber mouth guard in my mouth as I begin to struggle. 

“The true test to see if this method of brainwashing is possible.”

They turn on the machine as two pieces of metal cover my face. I felt shock run through my face as I felt a slight sting in my arm. I scream in agony before I black out.

The next thing I remember was waking up in a new place. I had no memory of anything. I saw people approach me and I began to attack them. Someone read a series of words to me and I glared at them.

“Are you ready to comply, commander?”

“Ready to comply.”

“Inject another serum into her. Strap her down first.”

Someone walked over and strapped me down, then I felt a stinging sensation in my arm. They then walked me over to a chamber. I get inside, and I close my eyes. Everything went black.

The next thing I remember is a short man standing in front of me watching me closely. He smiled when I opened my eyes all the way. He then spoke in a heavy German accent, “our first successful experiment of HYDRA. Since the other one seemingly escapsed. You are a powerful soldier, Commander.”

“Ready to comply.”

“Good girl. I need to extract someone for me. Make sure you bring him to me alive. I must go and catch a train now. Hail HYDRA.”

“Hail HYDRA.” 

I prep to head the extraction sight, and wait patiently. We hear a train coming and get into position. Just then someone came falling down just as the train zoomed by. We walk over and begin to drag the body of the man to the rendezvous point. His arm is gone and there is blood everywhere. 

We get him back to the lab, and they begin experimenting on him. If I noticed someone hesitate, I would kill them on sight and bring in someone else I knew could get the job done. We created a metal prosthetic arm and leg for him and attached it to him.

“I knew you were the right one for this job, commander.”

“Thank you doctor.”

“Doctor Zola, commander.”

“Doctor Zola. I have done my best to make sure he was fully prepared to your standards.”

“You have done great work for HYDRA. You and him shall go to sleep now.”

“Yes Doctor Zola.”

They put the man in one chamber and I walk into the other. I close my eyes, and everything goes blank again.

I wake up strapped down again. I look around and spot Zola. Men put the guard in my mouth, and start the machine. The machine comes down on my face and I feel pain shoot across my body. I scream in agony and bite right through the mouth guard. The machine stops, and lifts from my face. I breathe heavily as the straps release me. 

“Ready to comply.”

“She is a very good commander. Don’t even have to read her the words.”

“Haven’t had since the first time we did this.”

“She has always been a willing one for our experiments.”

“Good. She will train him then. Commander, come with me please?”

I get up and follow the short man. He leads me to a separate cell block area, where a man with a metal arm is sitting. He turns to me and glares.

“You are to train him. Make sure he is ready by tomorrow for his first assignment. I want the Winter Soldier to be HYDRA’s greatest weapon.”

“Yes sir. I will train him to the best of my ability.”

“I know you will do better than I can hope for.”

I nod, and the guards and the short man leave, “ready soldier?” He doesn’t respond, he just goes and tries to attack me. I just step to the side as he falls over. He stands up and attempts again, but again I move out of the way. He quickly turns and goes to punch me as I catch his fist in my hand.

“You want to try and hurt me, you're going to have to do better than that.” I knee him in the gut and flip him twisting his arm as I step on his other wrist.

He yells in pain. I release him, and let him stand. I knew he was going to attack again as he got into a fighting stance. “I won’t fail!” He shouts and runs at me going to punch me with the metal arm. I catch his fist again, and squeeze his fist tight as he yells out.

“If only you would stop trying to hurt me, then I could teach you how to properly fight and catch someone off guard.”

He looks at me and pulls his fist from my grip. He nods in compliance, and I begin to teach him hand to hand combat, and the art of catching people off guard. Within just a few hours he was already ready to go out on his assignment. The men came back to watch the improvement and approve the launch of his first assignment.

“Good. I want to see his work with a sniper now.”

I nod and lead them to the shooting arena. I lead the soldier to the top of the highest platform while another guard sets a moving target. Each round the target moved faster and faster. The soldier hit the target the first time every round. 

“Prepare for the launch of the Winter Soldier. Hail HYDRA!”

“Hail HYDRA!” We all shouted, as the Winter Soldier was escorted out of the cell block area.

“You, commander, will come with me. I have an assignment for you as well.”

I follow him and he leads me to a secret lab area. He gestures for me to sit in the chair. He sat down on the other and spoke to me, “you are my first successful experiment, and the only HYDRA servant I trust. I am not long for this world anymore, and I need someone who will keep my brain, and the Winter Soldier protected. I will merge my thoughts with yours, commander. You shall soon be the new leader of HYDRA.”

“Thank you sir.”

He presses a button as we get strapped in. Next thing I remembered was I had every single plan of attack, and assignment for the Winter Soldier implanted into my brain. I only had so much of the information the doctor had, but it was enough for me to continue to operate HYDRA like it had been.

“I will inform the others you are not allowed to be shocked anymore. No more cryo chamber for you either. I need to preserve that brain of ours.”

“Yes Doctor Zola.”

He smiles and walks away. I slowly follow him, but I stop when I see the Winter Soldier preparing to leave. I sensed something familiar about him, but I could only see the upper half of his face right now. I brushed it off as I remember him from Zola’s memories. I walked over to the main lab area. I saw Zola talking to some of the guards before he left. “Commander, we have a new assignment for you.”

“What is it?”

“Finding more people for the experiments.”

“I can do that, but I am going to make sure that they will all get along with the Winter Soldier we have now.”

“You do what you feel is right, commander.”

“Thank you. Ready me ship.”

“Yes, commander.” They all saluted and readied a ship for me. 

I scoured the world, far and wide, for many candidates. None I felt were the best fit. I found a few here and there that I thought might work out, but I wasn’t 100% confident. It had been a year since I started my search. I was finally heading back to the base in Siberia.

“Welcome back, commander.”

“Thank you gentlemen. I heard about the untimely passing of our dear leader Doctor Zola.”

“That’s right, commander, but I’ll have you know I’ll be happy to take his place. I know I won’t amount to the gloriousness of his brain, but if you’ll have me.” A man spoke up, who I had never met before.

“And who are you?”

“Alexander Pierce, commander.”

“What makes you think you can walk in here and announce that you will run the entire HYDRA operations?”

“I am qualified, I have a key to the inside. Tell me what qualifies you?”

“The trust of Doctor Zola. I should kill right here, right now for questioning my authority. You have no authority to do so.”

“I have been operating this base for 6 months while you’ve been away on vacation.”

I start to laugh, “you think I went away for leisure? That is the funniest thing I have ever heard.” The guards begin to laugh as well, “I was on a hunt to seek out men and women who I felt were qualified to be experimented on. We can’t risk losing our one and only Winter Soldier. So, I have been looking for more people who I felt best fit the job.”

“Sir, he is ready.”

“I’ll be there in a minute.”

“Who is ready?”

“Commander, I have taken over the operations of the Winter Soldier. You have been replaced.”

I was filled with rage. This was the very thing Zola warned me about. People would come in and try to corrupt the Winter Soldier, but I couldn’t stand the fact that this American came waltzing in acting like he ran the place. I roundhouse kicked him, knocking him down, “don’t ever underestimate me.”

I walked towards where they were keeping him, and burst in, “anyone who has been working under orders that were not my own, come forward or be executed!” Only half of them stepped forward, “those of you who stepped up, meet in the hanger, the rest of you wait here. James, follow me,” I whisper to my main guard, “kill them immediately.”

“Yes, commander.” I lead James to a different area of the base. A bigger training area than before. “Try and take me down. I want to see if what we learned before has remained in that head of yours.”

“Yes, commander”

He begins to throw punches left and right. I duck out of the way of them, but he is faster than before. I smile and Catch his fist, “that’s enough. You have been taught well.”

“Thanks to you, commander.”

“Don’t you dare forget that. I am your rightful master. You will not listen to anyone else unless I tell you otherwise.”

“Yes, commander.”

I whisper in his ear, “hail HYDRA.”

“Hail HYDRA.” He repeats.

We walk, and are greeted by Mr. Pierce. He looks at me angry, “where are half my men?”

“Those were your men? Well, they are in the ground if you’d like to join them,” James points a gun at Pierce, “he is not to listen to any instructions you give him, unless I say otherwise.”

“Are you mad?”

“A little, but I’m pretty sure you knew that based off the gash in your head from my foot.”

He continues to glare at me. He then looks at his men, “let’s go. We will be back for the Winter Soldier.”

“Over my cold dead body.” I stood between James, and Pierce. I was assigned to protect him from corruption, and that’s what I was going to do.

“Gladly.”

“Leave now!” James shouted.

“I would listen to him if I were you Mr. Pierce.”

He glares one last time, and turns to leave. I watch him as he walks out and radio to the hanger to make sure that they leave without a fight. I turn to James, “let’s go back to the lab. I’m sorry James.”

“Commander?” He pleaded with his eyes.

“I’m sorry James, but it has to be done. For your own protection.”

“Yes, commander.”

“Thank you James.” I lead him to the lab. I strap him down, and wipe him. “Put him back in cryo. He must be protected at all costs. Inject the new recruits and put them in the new cryo chambers.”

“Yes, commander.”

They put James back in the cryo chamber, and we prep the others. We ran out of the serum with this last recruit. I knew we needed more serum, but I didn’t have the recipe. That died with Zola, but I knew there was one other person who had the recipe, or had the serum we needed.

“Commander, what do you want us to do?”

“Find me Howard Stark.”

“Yes, commander.” They all shout.

It was 1991, we had the location of Howard Stark, and we knew he had the serum on him. “Wake him up. Wipe him. It is time.”

“Yes, commander.”

We walk to the lab and take James out of cryo. They strap him down and wipe his memory. They read from the red book the 10 words to get him to comply. I watch from behind the bars until he is ready.

“Ready to comply.” I walk in and begin explaining, “your mission is to retrieve the serum, and bring it here. Leave no witnesses.”

“Yes, commander.”

He gets up, and suits up. He hops on the plane, and leaves. I had hope that James would be able to complete the mission, no question. He was the strongest soldier I had ever met. I knew this would be no problem for him.

In 12 hours he was back, and had the serum in hand. “Take the rest of them out of cryo. Inject them, wipe them, and we shall begin their training.”

“Yes, commander.”

The guards take the serum, and wake the others up. They inject them with the serum, and wipe their memories. I walked to James to see how he was doing.

“Have I done well, commander?”

“Better than I hoped. I want you to be the one to help train them. I want them to meet your expectations. I feel like you are the perfect one to do it.”

“What about you, commander?”

“I will watch to make sure they don’t get too comfortable. If they do, I will come set them straight.” “Yes, commander.”

James walks down and begins to start training them. One of them already was way too comfortable and trying to see if he could take him down. James struggled to stand his ground. The man threw him into the bars, and he struggled to stand up. I radio down to the guards, “I want them back in cryo. They’re not ready. Get James and the captain out of there.”

“Yes, commander.”

Chaos broke out now. Guns fired every which way, and I ran down to greet the captain, and James. “This base is compromised. I want everyone to evacuate. You and Sergeant Barnes are to go to America and find Alexander Pierce.”

“Yes, commander.”

“No. I was told to only listen to you.” James protested.

“This is the exception. I won’t be around very long anymore. Someone has to continue your training. My mission is over, but yours is just beginning.”

“Commander.” His eyes pleaded for me to let him stay, but I had to refuse. No matter how bad it hurt.

“I’m sorry James, but it isn’t safe for you anymore. You have to go.”

“You promised. You promised to protect me.”

“I know. I know what I said, but I have to do what is best for you.”

“Will I ever see you again commander?”

“Maybe. In another life possibly.”

He hugs me tight. I knew that he was getting soft. I had to make sure he didn’t remember me. I couldn’t be the reason he was killed. I needed him sharp, and a killing machine. I promised Doctor Zola that much. I pulled away and kissed him softly. I was surprised when he returned it. “Captain? Get in the jet. When you find Pierce, wipe James, and stick him in cryo.”

“Commander!” James shouted.

“It’s for your own good.”

“Yes, commander. What will you do?” The captain asked.

“Go into cryo myself. I will trap the place in case anyone attempts to break in. I’ll come out of cryo, and attack them. Reset the trap, and repeat till the end of time.”

“Yes, commander.”

He drags James onto the jet, and they leave. I was left alone in this big building alone. I set the trap, and got into a cryochamber. This place would be safe. I wasn’t sure if James would, but I at least knew he would be okay as long as the captain stayed with him. I walked in the chamber and it closed, setting the trap. This was it. There would be no guarantee that I would ever wake again, but it was a risk I had to take.

~*~

I wasn’t sure how long I had been in the chamber, but I knew that when I woke up that someone was in the base. I hid myself so no one would see me coming. I sneak out, and head to the main section with the other chambers. I saw a man looking at the chambers, but he kept walking. I snuck over and saw they were all dead. 

I kept walking as he locked himself in an office area where the captain used to stay to protect himself during shooting practice. I saw he had the book. I didn’t know who he was though. I didn’t even recognize him from Zola’s memories. 

I heard talking coming from one of the upper levels. I assumed he brought guards just in case things got out of hand. I walk up the stairs and sneak around. I was about to head when I noticed one of the men had a metal arm. I waited to see if he would turn so I could see if it had the star. It did. James was back. That meant the man was from HYDRA, and had him, but it was the other man with him that made me think otherwise. I heard another man walk up to them, and they started talking.

“Well, let’s find this Zemo guy, and prove his innocence in Vienna. That doesn’t mean he’s not guilty for hi toher crimes, but his punishment will be less severe.”

“Thanks Tony.”

They start walking towards my hiding place. I stay as quiet as possible so I get the element of surprise. But that soon is taken away.

“F.R.I.D.A.Y.? Scan for other life forms.”

“Yes sir. One life form detected.”

I heard a gun load and I knew this was it. I jump out of my hiding spot, and flip avoiding the gunfire, landing back on my feet, ready to fight. The man in the tin suit readies his hand to fire at me, but a voice yells out before he can blast me. Or attempt to anyways.

“Stop! Don’t shoot her. I know her.” James spoke up coming between me and the man.

“Buck? Is that Y/n?”

“Yes. I never realised till I started to remember everything that HYDRA had taken her. It’s another reason why I wanted to come back here. I wanted to know exactly what they did to her.”

“James what is going on?”

“It’s not James, Y/n. It’s Bucky.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. You’re James Barnes. Sergeant Barnes. James. Winter Soldier.”

“No. I was the Winter Soldier. I am Bucky Barnes.”

“Okay. Look, as much as we would like to chit chat and catch up, we have someone else to find.”

“He’s in with the others. Looked in the office. Looking through HYDRA files.”

“Thanks Y/n.”

“Stop calling me that. It’s commander.”

“HYDRA is no longer. You no longer have to be commander.” A man in blue spoke

“HYDRA is no longer?”

“Thanks Steve.”

“I’m sorry. But it’s not. It disbanded.”

“Pierce.” My blood boils at the thought of the man who had now driven HYDRA, Doctor Zola, and my hard work, into the ground.

“You knew him?” Steve asked.

“I hated him. Despised him. Wish I could put a bullet between his eyes.”

“Well, Fury did that for you.” The tin man spoke.

“Who?”

“Right I forgot, you’ve been in the frozen tundra for who knows how long.”

“I have been in cryo since 1991.”

“So 25 years.”

“25 years?”

We walk down to where the chambers were, and we see the man they must be looking for. He calls Steve and tin man to look at the screen in front of them. I recognized the video surveillance. The night that James had gotten the super soldier serum. I remembered that night, and I remembered the target. Howard Stark, and his wife. The tin man grew angry, and turned to Steve.

“Did you know about this?” But Steve stayed quiet, “just answer the question, did you know?”

“Yes. I did.”

A fight broke out between the three. I was so lost as to what was happening in front of me. James tried to escape, but wasn't allowed. Tin man shot down the escape hatch. James fell down and landed on one of the mesh platforms.

They continue to fight, and then I start to put things together when Steve tries to defend James. He said that he was brainwashed and didn’t know what he was doing. He was just doing what HYDRA ordered.

“I don’t care. He killed my mother.”

I had just come face to face with Tony Stark. I knew the name very well. When I looked into Howard Stark I remembered seeing Tony’s name. I knew I had to get out of there, or shut down the base for good. If what they were saying was true, then this base would be in danger. New members trying to take back HYDRA would try and find this place.

I head up to the surface where I see the man who was locked in the office. I walked over to him, “where did you get the red book?”

“An old HYDRA captain gave it to me.”

“You’re lying. Captain Karpov would never give someone the book in which he did not trust the information to.”

“The captain didn’t give it to me. I found it. Before I killed him.”

I shook with anger, but I knew that Karpov would have died to protect the information of the Winter Soldier. Just like I would. Suddenly a man in a black outfit walks up, and talks to the man. I go and start to shut the place down. That’s when I see Steve and James walking out.

I walked over to them, and saw that James’ metal arm was gone. I approached them carefully.

“What do you want?” Steve asked, looking angry.

“Don’t be so sharp with me Steve. I get you’re worried about your friend, but I want to make sure he is okay.”

“Like you would care. You helped do this to him. I thought you were our friend.”

Steve took off his helmet, and I saw his face. There was something familiar about his features. 

I began to remember something. A scrawny kid in a back alleyway, getting beat up, and me having to watch. I yelled at a man in uniform and he just chuckled. I look at the man in uniform again and I see James, but he isn’t James. “Bucky…”

“Yes?” He turns around and faces me.

“Steve…”

“Commander?” Bucky questioned, very concerned.

“It's Y/n…” I spoke, shaking.

Steve looks at me with sadness in his eyes. 

“I swear you were smaller.” I looked shocked.

Bucky tries to contain a laugh, but can’t, “I asked the same thing.”

“What happened to you?” Steve asked, taking this seriously.

“I got a job, they worked me long hours, drained my energy, then brainwashed me.” “How long?” Steve asked.

“Months. Maybe a year. It’s still blurry. I don’t remember much.”

“So, are you a super soldier?” Bucky asked this time.

“I’m not sure. Maybe.”

“Do you remember me? Remember us?”

“James and commander, or Bucky and Y/n.”

“Bucky and Y/n.” “Yes. I remember. Somewhat remember.”

“Come with us then.”

“No. I promised Zola I would protect these secrets. No matter how badly I don’t want to anymore. A promise is a promise.”

“So what are you gonna do?”

“Lock the place up for good. Disconnect the keypad. And put myself back in cryo for another 25 years.”

“Y/n.”

“I’m sorry Bucky, but if I want any hope that HYDRA will truly be no more then this is what I have to do.”

“I don’t want to lose you.”

“I’m sorry Bucky. It’s what’s best.” “You always say that, but you never considered my feelings and what i wanted. I never wanted to ever say goodbye to you, but you shut the base down, and now you’re hiding away there for the rest of your life.”

“I’m sorry Bucky.”

“You should be. To think I thought we finally had our freedom. Finally had each other back, but I guess you have that stupid brain to protect.”

I look down, and walk back inside. I destroy the keypad and place a lock and chain on the inside of the door. I walk back into the cryo chamber, and go back into hibernation.

~*~

I woke up somewhere I didn’t recognize. I sit up and look around the room. I was in a small bedroom, but I knew this was like no bedroom I had very seen. I look over to the wall, and there on a dresser is a big screen. I get up, and walk over to it. I tap it wondering if someone was watching me. I looked at it confused when it stayed black.

“That’s a TV.” A man spoke up.

“TV?”

He walked into the light and I saw it was Steve, “yeah its a screen where you can watch live news reports.”

“I thought that’s why we had newspapers?”

“You were truly isolated.”

“Yeah. All I knew after you and Bucky left were labs. Machine that hurt you, and when you were done you couldn’t remember a thing.”

“Do you know if they injected you with the serum?”

“They did. I was there first experiment. I was made commander. They used the trigger words on me once. Never had to use them on me again. Mainly because I was already broken before they got a hold of me. I was always worried that you and Bucky weren’t going to come back.”

“Had they not done this to you, we wouldn’t have.”

“I knew about Bucky. Him falling off the train. I was there to capture him for Zola. So, what happened to you?”

“Schmidt, the man who started HYDRA in the first place, was going to bomb New York. I had no choice, but to crash the jet into a body of water, to insure that no one got hurt.”

“So, I really would have lost you both. Thing is, I would have been the only one at Bucky’s funeral, whereas you would have the entire population of America.”

“Funny how things change.”

“Yeah. Speaking of change, where am I?”

“You’re at the Avengers compound. A place where you will stay safe.”

“Why am I here?”

“I took you out of the chamber. We need you.”

“For what?”

“We’re getting Bucky back.”

“Where is Bucky?”

Steve explains everything that happened over the last 7 years. Now, we had a chance to undo what had been done. He needed my knowledge of how to run lab equipment to help create a gauntlet to hold these so called infinity stones.

“There is soul, mind, reality, space, power, and time. One stone on its own has more power than imaginable, but all six, they have the power to change the entire universe.”

“So the time stone, does it really turn back time?”

“Yep.”

“So, how are you all going to get these stones?”

“With these,” Steve holds up a capsule, “this will get us to the proper time, and place we want to be. Long enough for us to extract the stones and come back here. To you it’ll be a matter of seconds, to us it could be hours.”

“Sounds interesting.”

“Wanna come watch the test run?”

“Sure.”

I followed Steve to where they were setting everything up. I walked in to where someone was suiting up. I take this chance to grab a capsule. I saw there were two testers and two capsules per person. I figured what would be the harm in taking one of the testers.

“Who are you?”

“I’m Y/n. A friend of Steve’s. You are?”

“Clint. Also a friend of Steve’s never met you before.”

“Girl from the cryochamber.”

“Ah. Are you lost?”

“No. Just wanted to see what was in here.”

“Well the show is happening out there, so.”

“There is no need to be snappy with me. Goodness, everyone seems in a grumpy mood.” I walk out, and over to where everyone is. I watch as Clint suits up, disappears, then comes back. I look to Steve who is standing next to Tony Stark. I look away, and keep my head low. I knew if he saw me, he would throw a fit.

“So we have the how, we just need the when and where.”

Everyone nods and breaks up except Steve, Tony, and me. I kept my head down as they talked. I saw Steve walk over to me, “lwhy did you take me out of the chamber?”

“We need you.”

“Yeah, yeah, the gauntlet.”

“What’s wrong?”

I just look over at Tony, hoping he doesn't see me, “he’ll be so pissed if he sees me.”

“If that happens I’ll handle it.”

“Okay. I’ll go start on that gauntlet then.”

“Call if you need anything.”

“Steve?”

“Yes?”

“Was it true? That you liked me when we were younger?”

“Yeah, but I knew you liked Bucky, but I thought I would have a chance. Or, at the very least, hoped he didn’t”

I giggle, “you both were the greatest friends anyone could have ever asked for.”

“I’m glad.”

I walked to the lab and began to build the gauntlet. I was so focused on getting it built that I didn't realise someone had walked in.

“What are you doing here?”

“Building a rocketship, what does it look like I’m doing?” I then look up and see who I was talking to, “oh. I-I didn’t mean to be so mean. I promise. I’m just doing what Steve asked.”

“I want you out of my lab.”

“B-but Steve said.”

“I don’t care what he said. I want you out.”

“Tony is everything...oh. I’m sorry Y/n. I didn’t think you would still be working this late.”

“Not the first time I pulled an all nighter for a project.”

“Why is she here?”

“We could use her smarts.”

“What makes you think she can behave?”

“He’s right. What makes you think I can do this?”

“Because Bucky trusted you.”

“He trusted the commander. Not me.”

“James trusted the commander. Bucky trusts Y/n.”

“I’m not sure where Y/n stops and the commander begins. I’ve been commander for longer than I was Y/n. I’m not even sure I’m Y/n anymore.”

“I don’t care who you are. I want you out.”

“Tony, just please let her finish.”

“Fine. But as soon as she is done. She is gone. You understand?”

“I understand crystal clear Mr. Stark.”

“See? She gets it.”

“Y/n.”

“No. He’s right. I can’t stay here.”

“Where will you go?”

“I’ll figure that out when the time comes.”

Steve gives a sad look before he is dragged out by Tony. I keep working early into the morning. I had finally finished. I leaned back and put my hands in my pocket. I felt the capsule, and I got an idea. I knew what I had to do. I got up and walked around seeing everyone was still asleep. I grabbed a suit, and walked over to the platform. I input the time and place I wanted to go. “Goodbye Steve. I’ll see you on the other side.” I hit the button and disappeared.

3rd Person POV:

The sun shined through the compound as it began to bustle with everyone rushing around prepping the last minute things before they left to get the stones. Steve walked around looking like he had lost something.

“Everything okay, Cap?” Tony asked, walking up to him.

“I’m just worried about Y/n. She has been through a lot in the last 70 years, and how you treated her yesterday, it was very welcoming. We could use someone like her to help us.”

“Look, I know that I wasn’t very nice to her, but what she did was wrong. She needs to know I won't accept her easily. I understand we need her, but it won’t be easy for me.”

“Will you at least help me find her?”

“Sure.”

They walk around checking every empty room, and even the room where Steve had put her, for her to recover from being out of cryo. They couldn’t find Y/n anywhere. They checked the lab last, which, in hindsight, they should have checked first.  There sat the finished gauntlet. Y/n wasn’t there though. Steve began to panic, till Tony found a note.

“Here. Maybe she ran out to get something she needed?”

“Not likely. She probably left after she promised you she would.”

Steve opened the letter:

Dear Steve,

I’m sorry I had to leave without saying goodbye, but I thought a lot about what Tony said. I did hurt a lot of people. I hurt Bucky, and you. I decided I should make things right. I’ll see you on the other side Steve. I’m sorry we didn’t work out the way you hoped, but you were the greatest friend any girl, or anyone, could ask for. Thank you for everything you've ever done for me. We’ll meet again soon.

Love, Y/n

Steve ran out of the room, and to the room where the suits were. He noticed the tester one was missing. He went over to the capsules and noticed the last tester one was missing. 

“Where is she?”

“I’m not sure.” He then runs out to the time traveling platform and notices it had been turned on. Steve looks at it with a mixed emotion face.

“What is it, Cap?”

“She went back to change her past. Fix her future.”

“We gotta stop her.”

“Let her go. She needs this.”

Reader’s POV:

When I landed I was in a warehouse. I walked outside and saw a silver train. I recognized the train and knew that I was in the right place. I snuck on board before anyone could spot me. I hide in a compartment in the middle of the train. I sat down and waited till it started to move.

It got moving shortly after I settled down. I knew it wouldn’t be long before Bucky showed up. This was it. This was happening. I was going to save Bucky. I was going to have a life with him. The life I always pictured us having. Suddenly I heard stomping on the roof. I stood up, and was ready for a fight. Bucky and Steve then walked into the compartment I was in.

“Y/n?” Bucky looked at me confused.

“Hey.”

“Wh-what are you doing here?”

“I’m here to save your life.”

He looked at me confused, but went to follow Steve. The door then closed between the two of them trapping Bucky and I in the compartment where a HYDRA soldier walked in ready to kill us. I stand between Bucky and the soldier, “stand down.”

“Commander?”

“I said stand down.”

“I’m sorry, but my orders don’t come from you.”

“Shame.” I grab a gun from Bucky’s holster, “I said stand down.”

The soldier nods, and sets the blasters down. I grab them and toss Bucky his gun. I shoot the soldier with the blaster, and turn to the door blasting it open.

“Commander?”

“I’ll explain later. Let’s just capture Zola and get out of here.”

“You have a lot of explaining to do.”

“I know, but right now you have a mission to complete.” The other men with Steve and Bucky had captured Zola. We all headed back to their camp. I met the colonel and Peggy Carter. I pulled Peggy to the side having recognised her name from Zola’s memories. “Look I may sound insane, but you can’t keep Zola around. If you do, do not let him out of your sight. You cannot trust him. I know I haven’t given you a reason to trust me, but I’m telling you this as a warning.”

“I will keep a close eye on him. Steve said you saved their lives on that train, and for that I can trust you enough.” “Thank you.”

I walk out and head to find Bucky. I found him getting orders from the colonel. After he salutes to him I walk over, “hey.”

“We’ll have all the time in the world for you to explain everything to me now.”

“Good.” I look at him with a longing. I wished that he would understand everything when I explained everything. I knew though, that his world would come crashing down, but I knew I couldn’t save Steve too. I would be risking everything if I did that.

“Everything okay?”

“Yeah. I just can’t believe that you’re here.”

“I should be the one saying that. How did you even get on that train?”

“Truth, or lie to make you feel better?”

“I’m not sure I want to answer that question.”

“I’ll explain everything later, but I knew you were going to be on that train. I knew you were going to fall off if I didn’t stop that soldier. I knew what would happen if I didn’t save you. Something utterly terrifying.”

“Then I’m glad you were there. No matter how you know that, I’m glad you saved me.” I smile and hug him. He hugs me back, and I nuzzle my face into his neck. I missed feeling his arms around me. I never got to hug Bucky before he got in the fight with Tony. I was just so thankful for this moment.

Bucky is soon called to go meet with the others. I wish I was able to go with them on this mission, but I had already meddled in saving him once, and I couldn’t risk doing it again. So, I stayed behind.

I waited for what seemed like years, but it was only a few hours waiting for everyone to get back. I see the trucks pull in and I run out to them to see if Bucky was still there. He comes running to me and he lifts me hugging me tight. He hugged me tighter than he did earlier, and I knew what had happened. He got to live, while he had to listen to his best friend die.

“Bucky, I’m so sorry.”

“Did you know this was gonna happen?”

“Kind of. I didn’t know when, but.”

“You should have saved him. You should have saved him instead of me.”

I look at him hurt. He walks away, and I question if I made the right decision. I stood there for a second questioning if maybe I had made the wrong choice. I turn slowly and follow him. I didn’t know if he would just tell me to get lost, or if he just wanted time to cool off.

“What?”

“Maybe you’re right. I questioned so many times if I was a good person, or was I just a good soldier who only knew how to take orders. I was told for the longest time that I was the greatest commander of all time, but when I asked people outside of the group of people I was around for so long, they believed that I was just someone who only knew the orders she was given. Now that I have started to think on my own, I’m questioning again if I made the right decision.”

He walks over to me and just cups my face, wiping the tears away, “you are a good person. I just wish you told me about Steve. Maybe you could have saved him too.”

“I meddled too much with saving you. I couldn’t risk changing anything else.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I’ll explain when we get home, if you still want me around that is.”

“Why wouldn’t I want you around? I know what i said, but I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“It’s okay. You were upset, are upset, that your best friend is gone.”

“He was our best friend. Yes I’m upset, but I still have you, and if I didn’t I don’t know what I would do.”

“I’m so happy to hear you say that.”

“So, what do ya say? Shall we head home?” He holds up his dismissal papers.

I smile and nod. We walk out of the camp to a truck and we head to an airport to take us home. I was so excited for this new chance I gave us. I wish that things for me and him would have been different in the first go around, but that wasn;t the cards we were dealt. I gave us a second chance at the life we never got, but at what cost?

When we got back to our home in Brooklyn, Bucky sat me down, and asked me to explain how I knew he was going to fall off the train. “Please, please don’t freak out. I am not the me from this time. I came from the year 2023. I was unknowingly an experiment for HYDRA before they took me and brainwashed me. I was put into a cryo chamber, and when I woke up I was somewhere I didn’t know. That’s when I was assigned to extract you and bring you back to Zola.”

“That’s why the soldier recognized you.”

“Yeah. After we fixed you up from the fall, you and I were put into the cryo chambers. We woke up, we were brainwashed, and I assigned to train you before you were sent out to your first mission, or more assassination. That was the life we lived for 70 plus years.”

“I understand why you wanted to save me now.”

“I wanted to give us a second chance at the life we never got. Here we are, one step closer to the life we were never given.”

“I don’t care what it took, but I’m so glad I get to have my girl back in my arms.” He smiles, and kisses me. I missed his soft lips, and I felt like I had died and gone to heaven.

~*~

It was summer 1949. Life for us was better than I could have imagined. We had been married for almost 3 years now, and we were enjoying the family life. We had a brand new baby girl named Mary, and a two year old boy named Thomas. We were getting ready to take a walk when there was a knock at the door. Bucky went to answer it, and his face went pale.

“Darling is everything okay?” I walked over holding Mary to see what was wrong. There on our front step stood Steve Rogers.

“Hey Buck. Hey Y/n.”

“Steve.”

He smiles and winks at me. I knew this wasn’t the Steve from this time. It was the Steve from the time that I came from. I smiled and invited him in. Bucky goes and gets Tommy ready while I talk to him, “what are you doing here?”

“I wanted to see how Bucky was taking the normal life.”

“He’s loving it, but I’m talking about in this time.”

“Right. Well, I decided to follow your footsteps. I have someone here who I have missed for a very long time. I wanted to see how you two were handling life. I see you both have made a wonderful living.”

I smile, “it’s a dream come true. Better than I could have imagined.”

“You both seem very happy.”

“We are. It’s great to have you back Steve. I just. I can’t believe this.” Bucky smiles, walking over to us with Tommy on his hip.

“You really do have a beautiful family, you two.”

“Thank you Steve. I think maybe you should go find that someone you came back for.”

“I will. You two enjoy this life. You’ve earned it.” Steve winks, before walking out.

Bucky and I stood outside as we watched him walk away. I smile and look up at Bucky. We share a kiss before taking our Saturday afternoon stroll. It was a perfect life. The life we paved for each other. We spent many happy years together before Bucky passed in 2016. 

I am writing for one last time as I remember my life with him. Our story had been rewritten, and I was happy to finally be rid of the trouble, and trauma from all those years. This is my last goodbye before I am reunited with Bucky again. After 7 years we will finally be reunited once more in a place where we will have all the time in the world.

[m-oonrises]

12:10am

Tsukki asks for Yamaguchi's help interpreting an english passage for his homework. One of them tries to be brave.

part 2/? of yamaguchi and tsukishima‘s almost confessions 

"Yamaguchi, are you still up?" The knock comes just as he's about to throw on his covers. It's a bit past midnight, and Tsukishima probably knows it's way past his bed time. It's fine, Yamaguchi guesses that the lack of boundaries is what being best friends are for.

"Yeah, Tsukki, hold on," he opens the door to find the tall boy with a bunch of papers in hand. He stifles a yawn. "I was just about to pass out, you came just in time."

"Oh. Sorry, it can wait. It's just homework," Tsukishima doesn't look at him directly as he begins to turn from the door.

"Tsukki," he calls, but only slightly out of want and more of duty. He's lost whatever drowsiness he had a few minutes ago. If Tsukishima, his smart and immensely independent friend, is desperate enough to consult him at 12:10 am about homework, then as his best friend, he is obliged to.

It's not like they even had reason to still have boundaries when it comes to mundane things. The two of them have spent most of their lives together—from their painfully embarrassing shared childhood, to the highs and lows of high school. And when both he and Tsukishima got into the same University, it had been the logical choice to rent an apartment together.

It's mid-October and the nights are starting to get really cold. But joke's on you mother nature, Yamaguchi thinks, the mere knowledge that Tsukki lives and breathes a couple of meters away gives him all the warmth he needs.

"I can't get the meaning of this paragraph. I thought you might be able to help me," Tsukishima trails off and gestures at the clock, "I can just search it up online, though."

Yamaguchi nevertheless asks for the paper—the "It's okay, I can help" goes without saying. Toward the end of high school, Yamaguchi started getting into English Literature, intrigued by its history and forms. He wasn't the best in English when he started, but through hard work (and his then growing passion for short form English fiction) he slowly became one of the top students in their senior year English class. So it came as no surprise to anyone when he enlisted for English & Writing as an elective on their first year in University. What was a surprise, however, was Tsukishima deciding at the last minute that he'd give the class a go, too.

Today's topic for class had been "Psychology of the Self" and their professor had asked the class to write a short introspective piece about their thoughts and feelings. After which, they were asked to exchange with someone else in class, and that person was put in charge of analyzing the piece.

"Here, I can give it a read," he sets his pillows aside and takes the paper from Tsukishima's hand, motioning that the tall boy sit beside him. Tsukishima only sits by the edge of the bed.

Yamaguchi skims through the words and immediately sees that their classmate probably has had experience in writing. Albeit, a little bit cheesy but it gets the message across.

"How do I begin to explain the storm you've stirred in my heart? It's the wind that takes me high and low, that which also lives inside me, breaking through the cages of my chest, threatening to explode to reach you but can't. One day, I'll ride its gusts and fly myself to you, If I ever find the bravery."

"Oh, these are all a metaphor," he offers. Yamaguchi can feel his fingers buzz a bit while tracing the sentences, he feels like a philologist (is that what they call it?) that someone's just consulted and he's deciphering some sort of ancient text. "It's about feeling a certain way about someone, and," he clears his throat, "and feeling so much and just wanting to tell them, but not being able to. You know, that whole cliché unrequited love sort of thing."

Yes, cliché, and yet Yamaguchi knows the feeling all too well. Not to say that he hasn't had the occasional crush or fling here and there. In fact, he's received a good number of confessions toward his last year in high school, especially when he became captain. He still gets them today, and he definitely doesn't deny that some of them were cute. But Tsukki has been and always will be an ever-present presence in his life that made him want to explode, and he's constantly at the verge, held together only by a holed wall of pride he's so expertly managed to keep up. Yamaguchi's tried to repair the damage to no avail; liking Tsukki is an ages old thing that he has accepted to be an irreversible fact about himself.

"Really. Why doesn't he just tell them, then?" Tsukishima says, sounding annoyed as always, but Yamaguchi finds it a little bit out of character for him to bother with trivial things like unrequited feelings. Tsukishima continues, demanding, "If he feels he's about to explode and everything like he says."

"I don't know, Tsukki, I guess it isn't always easy," especially when you're pretty sure they don't feel the same way, Yamaguchi thinks, and you practically live with them, and they've been your best friend for just about forever, Tsukki, and whoop-dee-doo, I guess it's not really that big of a deal that everything you ever had together would be put at stake if you tell them.

"Right," Tsukishima begins, "makes sense."

The topic ends abruptly and the room goes silent. If Tsukki could read Yamaguchi's thoughts, he'd start panting from how fast they're running. The air around has suddenly become thick and he feels like he needs to focus on breathing else he'll forget.

Just as he's started drowning in his own embarrassing thoughts, Tsukishima breaks the silence when he shifts from where he's awkwardly positioned on the corner of the bed and moves just a tad bit closer, infiltrating Yamaguchi's space. He's so close that Yamaguchi can feel his warm breathing and the burning of his eyes which were now meeting the freckled boy's.

His best friend has slept over his room so many times; it isn't anything new. But Tsukki isn't the type to linger around after conversations end, Yamaguchi knows this, never the one to initiate anything. This, despite how normal it may seem, is not anything he's been expecting.

And he's definitely not expecting it when Tsukishima touches his arm lightly, opening his mouth once like he wants to say something and stops, and tries again, and—

"Yamaguchi," his voice is soft but firm, "I've been meaning to tell you something."

At this point, his hearing has been muffled by the rush of blood to his ears prompted by Tsukishima's earlier touch.

"This may sound weird but, Yamaguchi, I—"

His phone rings, as if on cue, his phone fucking rings. It's Hinata's name flashing to his ridiculous ringtone and he only feels a little bit bad thinking about how he actually wants to strangle his dear friend right now for unknowingly interrupting what could be the moment of moments. He quickly rejects the call, but Tsukishima's already snapped out of whatever trance he was in.

"Sorry, Tsukki, uh, you were saying?" Shit. It's probably the ringtone. The ringtone must've thrown Tsukki off.

"Oh-uh, nothing." Tsukishima only looks a little bit dazed before clearing his throat, and in the most Tsukishima way, calm and stoic, asks, "I was just leaving. Uh, Will you be up at seven? I can cook breakfast. You have class at nine right?"

"Oh, okay!" he tries his best not to sound disappointed at the shift. "Thanks Tsukki. Hmm, we can get coffee after! I'll walk you to class, too," Yamaguchi says and immediately wonders if he said it too enthusiastically.

"Yeah, okay," A pink color has noticeably stained Tsukishima's cheeks, but Yamaguchi doesn't comment on it, "thanks again, Yamaguchi."

"Anytime, Tsukki." He almost misses the faint smile on the blond boy's lips as he closes the door.

—

"One day, I'll ride its gusts and fly myself to you, If I ever find the bravery."

Yamaguchi threads the passage in his mind over and over. The events just moments ago hasn't sunk in yet. Could it be that it really isn't just him who lacked the bravery? And if he and Tsukki both really were thinking it, should he have been the one to go for it, instead? Should he have pushed further earlier? Maybe so. He turns his light off and settles back into his covers, setting his alarm clock to seven.

Sorry for not being brave enough today, Tsukki—staring at the ceiling, he imagines sending an invisible beam from his mind to the boy now two rooms down and hopes to the heavens that whatever his best friend was trying to say, he'll try saying again soon. Hopefully, he'll be brave enough then—Sorry, Tsukki, maybe tomorrow, we can try again.

[corie-the-writer]

Fate - Chapter 1

Please read first : This story will be mostly AU, with using different plots from the series through out this story. This story will contain angst, fluff, and smut at some point, and might possibly be triggering for some, so please be mindful. I will try to post warnings, but if not, please read with caution. Also, I will try to update once a week, but I want to take my time with this series. 

Chapter 1 

Three words. 

That is all it took for his entire world to change within seconds. 

Detective Jay Halstead was officially a father. He shared a son with the woman who has held his heart for over a decade.

They met when they were teenagers, at just sixteen years old.

Even though they went to different high schools, they both attended a football game since their schools were rivals, and found themselves at the same after party. 

Jay had found himself partnered up with Aubrey during a game of beer pong. He had to admit that she was a great shot with the little white ball, but he had been so mesmerized by her smile, he had missed the final shot. Aubrey smiled and shrugged her shoulders without a care in the world, helping him finish all the drinks filled with the cheap liquor. As the night progressed, Jay found himself learning more about Aubrey. That was until a dark haired man a few years older came barreling into the party, grabbing her arm. Jay quickly went to defend her, but Aubrey had put a hand on his chest, letting him know that the man was her brother, Justin. Before Jay could ask for her number, Justin had whisked Aubrey out of the party. 

He thought he had missed his chance, but a few weeks later, he had spotted her in the mall shopping with her brother, and he took the chance, asking for her number. Aubrey had agreed to go out on a date with him, and that is the first time his world changed. 

Jay and Aubrey were inseparable. 

When they weren't in school, they were doing homework together, studying for finals, spending practically every waking moment together when they could. After six months of dating, Jay and Aubrey lost their virginity to each other.

Of course, the entire relationship had been up and down. Since they were going to different schools, jealousy was easily reached. Jay would get out of school early and go to pick up Aubrey, seeing a male classmate flirt with her. Or Aubrey would see girls trying to text Jay when they would be studying. 

There was one night when Jay and Aubrey had went to the movies, a classmate of Aubrey's, Todd Michaels, had stopped her in line at the concession stand, asking her if she was going to the homecoming dance, something Jay didn't know about, and that upset him. Aubrey said that she wasn't sure she was going, which made Jay feel like she was embarrassed to be seen with him, which led to a fight in his old beat up truck, shouting at each other, until Aubrey confessed that she loved him. Jay immediately crashed his lips to hers, repeating the three words back to her.

Things were great for their relationship by their senior year, however Jay's life at home had gotten worse. His father had started to fight with him, a lot. He would show up at Aubrey's bedroom window with a black eye or a busted lip. As Aubrey graduated, preparing to go to Med School, Jay had broke the news to her three days later that he had signed up to become an Army Ranger. She was heartbroken, but promised that she would still be there for him. 

It was true. 

When Aubrey had taken him to the airport, Jay held her close to him, promising that he would always love her, no matter what and he would see her again.

When he was overseas, they would write to each other as much as they could. But Jay knew that he wasn't the same person she fell in love with, and he selfishly let her go when he had came back home for a short leave. He had left her sobbing in her dorm room after she had yelled at him for breaking his promise to her. 

Over the years Jay would see Aubrey out and about around Chicago, like fate was on their side. 

Jay would ask Aubrey to come home with him, even if it were just for the night, and she always would. Repeating the same mantras they said to each other in high school. When morning came, she would always disappear. 

When Jay had gotten out of the Army, he joined the police academy, and decided to try to give it a real shot with Aubrey once he had been recruited to the Intelligence Unit. 

They both were hesitant at first, but they were naturally gravitating towards each other, wanting to keep things between them while they figured out how to navigate their relationship with as much history as they had. 

The second time his world changed was the night that Justin was murdered. Everything had been going great in the relationship, Jay was going to ask Aubrey to move in with him, and when she showed up at his door, tears streaming down her face. She had collapsed in his arms, barely able to understand the news about Justin as she cried. He sat on the floor with her in his arms, holding her as tight as he could to bring her some sort of comfort.

He knew that Justin was a part of Aubrey. Justin was the one who was always there for her, going to soccer games when she was a little kid when Hank couldn't make it because of work. She would tell him stories of how Justin was always protecting her, guiding her and teaching her, Justin was like a best friend, a brother and father all rolled into one. 

Jay knew before she said anything, he could tell how distant she was. The day after Justin's funeral, Aubrey told him that she couldn't stay in Chicago. 

As much as he wanted to beg her to stay, to tell her not to go, he couldn't. He knew that she needed this just as much as he needed to enlist so many years ago. The only thing Jay could do was tell her that he loved her, always would as she walked out of her apartment, tears running down his face. 

The last he had seen her was when Justin's wife Olive, was throwing a birthday for her and Justin's son a year after his death. 

Aubrey had flown into Chicago for four days, the first day was for the birthday party, and the last three days were spent in Jay's apartment. The first night, Aubrey had told him about the job she had in a Colorado hospital, and the man she had met, and he would be lying if he said that didn't hurt. By the second night, they fell into the same patterns as before. 

On the last day they spent together in bed, Jay found the courage, asking her to come back to Chicago, to be with him, to have the life together that they always wanted. 

"Jay, I love you, I've loved you since I was sixteen. But right now, I need to figure out how to catch myself when I fall." 

"I'll catch you baby, I'll always catch you." 

"That's what I'm afraid of Jay." 

Now, here he sat in the small coffee shop, watching as Aubrey was walking through the door, wearing a long coral dress that fell just above her ankles, noticing the brown roman style sandals, with a thin light tan jacket on, her dark hair piled onto her head in a messy bun, sunglasses covering her eyes. 

The plan was to meet up first, talk about a few things, and then go meet his son for the first time. 

"Hey..." Aubrey approached the table with hesitation, Jay moved to stand up and gave her a hug. 

"Hey, how are you?" Jay questioned as he sat back down, with Aubrey sitting across from him. 

"Tired, had a long night at the hospital." Aubrey commented, "How are you?" Aubrey questioned. 

"I'm uh...processing." Jay chuckled lowly, taking a drink of his coffee, "You want anything? Coffee...tea?" Jay questioned. 

"No thanks, I usually hit the caffeine when I go to work." Aubrey laughed, "So uhm, I know this is a lot." Aubrey sighed, resting her elbows on the table, her hands under her chin, "I am so sorry that I didn't tell you. You probably hate me, and I don't blame you one bit." 

"I could never hate you." Jay nearly scoffed, "Look, I don't know how to feel knowing that I missed nearly three years of his life, but I understand why you did it. I get that." Jay sighed, "Your ex, he never hurt him, right?" Jay found himself wondering and watched as Aubrey shook her head. 

"There were a few times I thought he was going to but I...I uh tried like hell to get him out of whatever room we were in." 

"He hurt you?" Jay questioned lowly and watched as Aubrey gave a subtle nod, "We are going to have to discuss everything that happened, but when you're ready. I want you to know that you and our son will be safe." 

Aubrey gave a nod and remained silent for a few moments, "I asked you to meet me here first, because the apartment I was going to rent fell through at the last minute, I had been staying at Will's and now we are at pops." Aubrey explained, "Also, I don't want you to be upset with Will. I made him swear to me that he wouldn't say anything until I got on my feet. I feel like such an asshole with all of this, I just...I've been fighting for so long..." Aubrey sighed, resting her forehead against the palm of her hand. 

"Aubs, you gotta stop feeling bad. You did what you needed to do to make sure you both got here alive." Jay stated, "I'm going to be upset with Will, but I'll get over it, okay?" Jay watched as Aubrey nodded her head. 

"Here's the thing, you need to know that Henry is really shy around new people. I've shown him pictures of you, pops, so he's somewhat familiar with you both, but I didn't want you to get in front of him and be upset if he didn't react." Aubrey explained, "And I don't want to introduce you as his dad if you aren't one hundred percent sure that you want to be apart of his life. I don't want him to get attached and you not show up." 

Jay thought for a moment, "For the past two days, I've been staring at the pictures you sent me. I'm not gonna lie, I asked myself if I was capable of being a good dad, if I knew how to be a good dad." Jay admitted quietly, "I don't know what is going to happen with all of this, I don't know how to be a dad, but I know that I'm going to try like hell to be the dad I never had growing up." Jay stated. 

"It's not gonna be easy Jay." 

"I know." Jay gave a nod in agreement, "But I do know that no matter what happens in our lives, fate always brings us back together some how." 

Aubrey gave a soft smile, "Let's go meet your son, yeah?" 

Jay was in absolute awe seeing the little boy running around the living room. 

Henry Justin Halstead.

He was the perfect mixture of Jay and Aubrey. 

Henry had dark hair and olive skin just like Aubrey, he had Jay's eyes and bone structure. He swore his heart swelled a mile long seeing Aubrey walking towards the little boy, leaning down to speak to him, before pointing towards Jay. Jay watched as Aubrey lifted the little boy onto her hip, and slowly approached. Jay found tears building in his eyes, hating that he wasn't there for the birth of his son, to be there through the pregnancy with Aubrey. He noticed that Henry was a little smaller than most two year old's, but he had learned that Henry was born prematurely because of the stress Aubrey was under due to her ex-boyfriend. 

"Hi Henry..." Jay spoke, his voice cracking, thankful that Hank had disappeared out of the living room to give them some time alone, "I uh...I got you a few presents. Would you like to see them?" Jay questioned, silently scolding himself for not bringing them in with him from his truck. 

"It's okay baby." Aubrey encouraged the little boy as he looked to her for an answer and he watched as Henry gave a small nod. 

"Okay, I'm gonna go grab them. I'll be right back." 

Aubrey smiled softly seeing Jay rush out of the living room, knowing that he had bought a bunch of things for Henry over the past two days. Aubrey kissed her son's head as he patiently waited in her arms for Jay to return. 

A few moments later, several bags laying around the living room, with Jay and Aubrey sitting on the floor, as Henry was sitting on her lap, holding onto the new stuffed sloth as he was going through the different toy cars and trucks he now had, occasionally glancing to Jay who was watching him intently. 

"I bet he'll play with you if you ask." Aubrey spoke quietly into the little boys ear, and watched as he looked up to her and then back to Jay, "He likes cars and trucks just as much as you." Aubrey added with a smile. 

Henry pushed himself out of Aubrey's lap with the help of her. He tucked the sloth under his arm and tried to grab a couple of his cars and trucks but they kept falling from his hands, and Jay moved slowly to help him. 

Aubrey's heart swelled a little while later, seeing Jay laying on the floor, with Henry next to him pushing the cars and trucks around. Henry had warmed up to Jay almost instantly when he began to play with the little boy. 

"Can I take you guys out to dinner?" Jay questioned causing Aubrey to shake her head from spacing out at the scene in front of her. 

"Uh..yeah, that's fine." Aubrey commented, "I'm gonna go let pops know, and get him some fresh clothes. You okay with him?" Aubrey questioned as she pushed herself up off the floor. 

"Yeah, I'm good."  Jay flashed her the brighest smile she had ever seen, and she couldn't help but to smile in return.

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