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etz-ashashiyot · 7 months ago

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Chapter 4: Executed Jews

By Dara Horn, excerpted from People Love Dead Jews

ALA ZUSKIN PERELMAN AND I HAD BEEN IN TOUCH ONLINE before I finally met her in person, and I still cannot quite believe she exists. Years ago, I wrote a novel about Marc Chagall and the Yiddish-language artists whom he once knew in Russia, all of whom were eventually murdered by the Soviet regime. While researching the novel, I found myself sucked into the bizarre story of these people's exploitation and destruction: how the Soviet Union first welcomed these artists as exemplars of universal human ideals, then used them for its own purposes, and finally executed them. I named my main character after the executed Yiddish actor Benjamin Zuskin, a comic performer known for playing fools. After the book came out, I heard from Ala in an email written in halting English: "I am Benjamin Zuskin's daughter." That winter I was speaking at a literary conference in Israel, where Ala lived, and she and I arranged to meet. It was like meeting a character from a book.

My hosts had generously put me up with other writers in a beautiful stone house in Jerusalem. We were there during Hanukkah, the celebration of Jewish independence. On the first night of the holiday, I walked to Jerusalem's Old City and watched as people lit enormous Hanukkah torches at the Western Wall. I thought of my home in New Jersey, where in school growing up I sang fake English Hanukkah songs created by American music education companies at school Christmas concerts, with lyrics describing Hanukkah as being about "joy and peace and love." Joy and peace and love describe Hanukkah, a commemoration of an underdog military victory over a powerful empire, about as well as they describe the Fourth of July. I remembered challenging a chorus teacher about one such song, and being told that I was a poor sport for disliking joy and peace and love. (Imagine a "Christmas song" with lyrics celebrating Christmas, the holiday of freedom. Doesn't everyone like freedom? What pedant would reject such a song?) I sang those words in front of hundreds of people to satisfy my neighbors that my tradition was universal — meaning, just like theirs. The night before meeting Ala, I walked back to the house through the dense stone streets of the Old City's Jewish Quarter, where every home had a glass case by its door, displaying the holiday's oil lamps. It was strange to see those hundreds of glowing lights. They were like a shining announcement that this night of celebration was shared by all these strangers around me, that it was universal. The experience was so unfamiliar that I didn't know what to make of it.

The next morning, Ala knocked on the door of the stone house and sat down in its living room, with its view of the Old City. She was a small dark-haired woman whose perfect posture showed a firmness that belied her age. She looked at me and said in Hebrew, "I feel as if you knew my father, like you understood what he went through. How did you know?"

The answer to that question goes back several thousand years.

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The teenage boys who participated in competitive athletics in the gymnasium in Jerusalem 2,200 years ago had their circumcisions reversed, because otherwise they wouldn't have been allowed to play. In the Hellenistic empire that had conquered Judea, sports were sacred, the entry point to being a person who mattered, the ultimate height of cool — and sports, of course, were always played in the nude. As one can imagine, ancient genital surgery of this nature was excruciating and potentially fatal. But the boys did not want to miss out.

I learned this fun fact in seventh grade, from a Hebrew school teacher who was instructing me and my pubescent classmates about the Hanukkah story — about how Hellenistic tyranny gained a foothold in ancient Judea with the help of Jews who wanted to fit in. This teacher seemed overly jazzed to talk about penises with a bunch of adolescents, and I suspected he'd made the whole thing up. At home, I decided to fact-check. I pulled a dusty old book off my parents' shelf, Volume One of Heinrich Graetz's opus History of the Jews.

In nineteenth-century academic prose, Graetz explained how the leaders of Judea demonstrated their loyalty to the occupying Hellenistic empire by building a gymnasium and recruiting teenage athletes — only to discover that "in uncovering their bodies they could immediately be recognized as Judeans. But were they to take part in the Olympian games, and expose themselves to the mockery of Greek scoffers? Even this difficulty they evaded by undergoing a painful operation, so as to disguise the fact that they were Judeans." Their Zeus-worshipping overlords were not fooled. Within a few years, the regime outlawed not only circumcision but all of Jewish religious practice, and put to death anyone who didn't comply.

Sometime after that, the Maccabees showed up. That's the part of the story we usually hear.

Those ancient Jewish teenagers were on my mind that Hanukkah when Ala came to tell me about her father's terrifying life, because I sensed that something profound united them — something that doesn't match what we're usually taught about what bigotry looks or feels like. It doesn't involve "intolerance" or "persecution," at least not at first. Instead, it looks like the Jews themselves are choosing to reject their own traditions. It is a form of weaponized shame.

Two distinct patterns of antisemitism can be identified by the Jewish holidays that celebrate triumphs over them: Purim and Hanukkah. In the Purim version of antisemitism, exemplified by the Persian genocidal decrees in the biblical Book of Esther, the goal is openly stated and unambiguous: Kill all the Jews. In the Hanukkah version of antisemitism, whose appearances range from the Spanish Inquisition to the Soviet regime, the goal is still to eliminate Jewish civilization. But in the Hanukkah version, this goal could theoretically be accomplished simply by destroying Jewish civilization, while leaving the warm, de-Jewed bodies of its former practitioners intact.

For this reason, the Hanukkah version of antisemitism often employs Jews as its agents. It requires not dead Jews but cool Jews: those willing to give up whatever specific aspect of Jewish civilization is currently uncool. Of course, Judaism has always been uncool, going back to its origins as the planet's only monotheism, featuring a bossy and unsexy invisible God. Uncoolness is pretty much Judaism's brand, which is why cool people find it so threatening — and why Jews who are willing to become cool are absolutely necessary to Hanukkah antisemitism's success. These "converted" Jews are used to demonstrate the good intentions of the regime — which of course isn't antisemitic but merely requires that its Jews publicly flush thousands of years of Jewish civilization down the toilet in exchange for the worthy prize of not being treated like dirt, or not being murdered. For a few years. Maybe.

I wish I could tell the story of Ala's father concisely, compellingly, the way everyone prefers to hear about dead Jews. I regret to say that Benjamin Zuskin wasn't minding his own business and then randomly stuffed into a gas chamber, that his thirteen-year-old daughter did not sit in a closet writing an uplifting diary about the inherent goodness of humanity, that he did not leave behind sad-but-beautiful aphorisms pondering the absence of God while conveniently letting his fellow humans off the hook. He didn't even get crucified for his beliefs. Instead, he and his fellow Soviet Jewish artists — extraordinarily intelligent, creative, talented, and empathetic adults — were played for fools, falling into a slow-motion psychological horror story brimming with suspense and twisted self-blame. They were lured into a long game of appeasing and accommodating, giving up one inch after another of who they were in order to win that grand prize of being allowed to live.

Spoiler alert: they lost.

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I was in graduate school studying Yiddish literature, itself a rich vein of discussion about such impossible choices, when I became interested in Soviet Jewish artists like Ala's father. As I dug through library collections of early-twentieth-century Yiddish works, I came across a startling number of poetry books illustrated by Marc Chagall. I wondered if Chagall had known these Yiddish writers whose works he illustrated, and it turned out that he had. One of Chagall's first jobs as a young man was as an art teacher at a Jewish orphanage near Moscow, built for children orphaned by Russia's 1919-1920 civil war pogroms. This orphanage had a rather renowned faculty, populated by famous Yiddish writers who trained these traumatized children in the healing art of creativity.

It all sounded very lovely, until I noticed something else. That Chagall's art did not rely on a Jewish language — that it had, to use that insidious phrase, "universal appeal" — allowed him a chance to succeed as an artist in the West. The rest of the faculty, like Chagall, had also spent years in western Europe before the Russian revolution, but they chose to return to Russia because of the Soviet Union's policy of endorsing Yiddish as a "national Soviet language." In the 1920s and 30s, the USSR offered unprecedented material support to Yiddish culture, paying for Yiddish-language schools, theaters, publishing houses, and more, to the extent that there were Yiddish literary critics who were salaried by the Soviet government. This support led the major Yiddish novelist Dovid Bergelson to publish his landmark 1926 essay "Three Centers," about New York, Warsaw, and Moscow as centers of Yiddish-speaking culture, asking which city offered Yiddish writers the brightest prospects. His unequivocal answer was Moscow, a choice that brought him back to Russia the following year, where many other Jewish artists joined him.

But Soviet support for Jewish culture was part of a larger plan to brainwash and coerce national minorities into submitting to the Soviet regime — and for Jews, it came at a very specific price. From the beginning, the regime eliminated anything that celebrated Jewish "nationality" that didn't suit its needs. Jews were awesome, provided they weren't practicing Jewish religion, studying traditional Jewish texts, using Hebrew, or supporting Zionism. The Soviet Union thus pioneered a versatile gaslighting slogan, which it later spread through its client states in the developing world and which remains popular today: it was not antisemitic, merely anti-Zionist. (In the process of not being antisemitic and merely being anti-Zionist, the regime managed to persecute, imprison, torture, and murder thousands of Jews.) What's left of Jewish culture once you surgically remove religious practice, traditional texts, Hebrew, and Zionism? In the Soviet Empire, one answer was Yiddish, but Yiddish was also suspect for its supposedly backwards elements. Nearly 15 percent of its words came directly from biblical and rabbinic Hebrew, so Soviet Yiddish schools and publishers, under the guise of "simplifying" spelling, implemented a new and quite literally antisemitic spelling system that eliminated those words' Near Eastern roots. Another answer was "folklore" — music, visual art, theater, and other creative work reflecting Jewish life — but of course most of that cultural material was also deeply rooted in biblical and rabbinic sources, or reflected common religious practices like Jewish holidays and customs, so that was treacherous too.

No, what the regime required were Yiddish stories that showed how horrible traditional Jewish practice was, stories in which happy, enlightened Yiddish-speaking heroes rejected both religion and Zionism (which, aside from its modern political form, is also a fundamental feature of ancient Jewish texts and prayers traditionally recited at least three times daily). This de-Jewing process is clear from the repertoire of the government-sponsored Moscow State Yiddish Theater, which could only present or adapt Yiddish plays that denounced traditional Judaism as backward, bourgeois, corrupt, or even more explicitly — as in the many productions involving ghosts or graveyard scenes — as dead. As its actors would be, soon enough.

The Soviet Union's destruction of Jewish culture commenced, in a calculated move, with Jews positioned as the destroyers. It began with the Yevsektsiya, committees of Jewish Bolsheviks whose paid government jobs from 1918 through 1930 were to persecute, imprison, and occasionally murder Jews who participated in religious or Zionist institutions — categories that included everything from synagogues to sports clubs, all of which were shut down and their leaders either exiled or "purged." This went on, of course, until the regime purged the Yevsektsiya members themselves.

The pattern repeated in the 1940s. As sordid as the Yeveksiya chapter was, I found myself more intrigued by the undoing of the Jewish Antifascist Committee, a board of prominent Soviet Jewish artists and intellectuals established by Joseph Stalin in 1942 to drum up financial support from Jews overseas for the Soviet war effort. Two of the more prominent names on the JAC's roster of talent were Solomon Mikhoels, the director of the Moscow State Yiddish Theater, and Ala's father Benjamin Zuskin, the theater's leading actor. After promoting these people during the war, Stalin decided these loyal Soviet Jews were no longer useful, and charged them all with treason. He had decided that this committee he himself created was in fact a secret Zionist cabal, designed to bring down the Soviet state. Mikhoels was murdered first, in a 1948 hit staged to look like a traffic accident. Nearly all the others — Zuskin and twelve more Jewish luminaries, including the novelist Dovid Bergelson, who had proclaimed Moscow as the center of the Yiddish future — were executed by firing squad on August 1952.

Just as the regime accused these Jewish artists and intellectuals of being too "nationalist" (read: Jewish), today's long hindsight makes it strangely tempting to read this history and accuse them of not being "nationalist" enough — that is, of being so foolishly committed to the Soviet regime that they were unable to see the writing on the wall. Many works on this subject have said as much. In Stalin's Secret Pogrom, the indispensable English translation of transcripts from the JAC "trial," Russia scholar Joshua Rubenstein concludes his lengthy introduction with the following:

As for the defendants at the trial, it is not clear what they believed about the system they each served. Their lives darkly embodied the tragedy of Soviet Jewry. A combination of revolutionary commitment and naive idealism had tied them to a system they could not renounce. Whatever doubts or misgivings they had, they kept to themselves, and served the Kremlin with the required enthusiasm. They were not dissidents. They were Jewish martyrs. They were also Soviet patriots. Stalin repaid their loyalty by destroying them.

This is completely true, and also completely unfair. The tragedy — even the term seems unjust, with its implied blaming of the victim — was not that these Soviet Jews sold their souls to the devil, though many clearly did. The tragedy was that integrity was never an option in the first place.

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Ala was almost thirteen years old when her father was arrested and until that moment she was immersed in the Soviet Yiddish artistic scene. Her mother was also an actor in the Moscow State Yiddish Theater; her family lived in the same building as the murdered theater director Solomon Mikhoels, and moved in the same circles as other Jewish actors and writers. After seeing her parents perform countless times, Ala had a front-row seat to the destruction of their world. She attended Mikhoel's state funeral, heard about the arrest of the brilliant Yiddish author Der Nister from an actor friend who witnessed it from her apartment across the hall, and was present when secret police ransacked her home in conjunction with her father's arrest. In her biography, The Travels of Benjamin Zuskin, she provides for her readers what she gave me that morning in Jerusalem: an emotional recounting, with the benefit of hindsight, of what it was really like to live through the Soviet Jewish nightmare.

It's as close as we can get, anyway. Her father Benjamin Zuskin's own thoughts on the topic are available only from state interrogations extracted under unknown tortures. (One typical interrogation document from his three and a half years in the notorious Lubyanka Prison announces that the day's interrogation lasted four hours, but the transcript is only half a page long — leaving to the imagination how the interrogator and interrogatee may have spent their time together. Suffice it to say that another JAC detainee didn't make it to trial alive.) His years in prison began when he was arrested in December of 1948 in a Moscow hospital room, where he was being treated for chronic insomnia brought on by the murder of his boss and career-long acting partner, Mikhoels; the secret police strapped him to a gurney and carted him to prison in his hospital gown while he was still sedated.

But in order to truly appreciate the loss here, one needs to know what was lost — to return to the world of the great Yiddish writer Sholem Aleichem, the author of Benjamin Zuskin's first role on the Yiddish stage, in a play fittingly titled It's a Lie!

Benjamin Zuskin's path to the Yiddish theater and later to the Soviet firing squad began in a shtetl comparable to those immortalized in Sholem Aleichem's work. Zuskin, a child from a traditional family who was exposed to theater only through traveling Yiddish troupes and clowning relatives, experienced that world's destruction: his native Lithuanian shtetl, Ponievezh, was among the many Jewish towns forcibly evacuated during the First World War, catapulting him and hundreds of thousands of other Jewish refugees into modernity. He landed in Penza, a city with professional Russian theater and Yiddish amateur troupes. In 1920, the Moscow State Yiddish Theater opened, and by 1921, Zuskin was starring alongside Mikhoels, the theater's leading light.

In the one acting class I have ever attended, I learned only one thing: acting isn't about pretending to be someone you aren't, but rather about emotional communication. Zuskin, who not only starred in most productions but also taught in the theater's acting school, embodied the concept. His very first audition was a one-man sketch he created, consisting of nothing more than a bumbling old tailor threading a needle — without words, costumes, or props. It became so popular that he performed it to entranced crowds for years. This physical artistry animated his every role. As one critic wrote, "Even the slightest breeze and he is already air-bound."

Zuskin specialized in playing figures like the Fool in King Lear — as his daughter puts it in her book, characters who "are supposed to make you laugh, but they have an additional dimension, and they arouse poignant reflections about the cruelty of the world." Discussing his favorite roles, Zuskin once explained that "my heart is captivated particularly by the image of the person who is derided and humiliated, but who loves life, even though he encounters obstacles placed before him through no fault of his own."

The first half of Ala's book seems to recount only triumphs. The theater's repertoire in its early years was largely adopted from classic Yiddish writers like Sholem Aleichem, I. L. Peretz, and Mendele Moykher Seforim. The book's title is drawn from Zuskin's most famous role: Senderl, the Sancho Panza figure in Mendele's Don Quixote-inspired work, Travels of Benjamin the Third, about a pair of shtetl idiots who set out for the Land of Israel and wind up walking around the block. These productions were artistically inventive, brilliantly acted, and played to packed houses both at home and on tour. Travels of Benjamin the Third, in a 1928 review typical of the play's reception, was lauded by the New York Times as "one of the most originally conceived and beautifully executed evenings in the modern theater."

One of the theater's landmark productions, I. L. Peretz's surrealist masterpiece At Night in the Old Marketplace, was first performed in 1925. The play, set in a graveyard, is a kind of carnival for the graveyard's gathered ghosts. Those who come back from the dead are misfits like drunks and prostitutes, and also specific figures from shtetl life - yeshiva idlers, synagogue beadles, and the like. Leading them all is a badkhn, or wedding jester — divided in this production into two mirror-characters played by Mikhoels and Zuskin — whose repeated chorus among the living corpses is "The dead will rise!" "Within this play there was something hidden, something with an ungraspable depth," Ala writes, and then relates how after a performance in Vienna, one theatergoer came backstage to tell the director that "the play had shaken him as something that went beyond all imagination." The theatergoer was Sigmund Freud.

As Ala traces the theater's trajectory toward doom, it becomes obvious why this performance so affected Freud. The production was a zombie story about the horrifying possibility of something supposedly dead (here, Jewish civilization) coming back to life. The play was written a generation earlier as a Romantic work, but in the Moscow production, it became a means of denigrating traditional Jewish life without mourning it. That fantasy of a culture's death as something compelling and even desirable is not merely reminiscent of Freud's death drive, but also reveals the self-destructive bargain implicit in the entire Soviet-sponsored Jewish enterprise. In her book, Ala beautifully captures this tension as she explains the badkhn's role: "He sends a double message: he denies the very existence of the vanishing shadow world, and simultaneously he mocks it, as if it really does exist."

This double message was at the heart of Benjamin Zuskin's work as a comic Soviet Yiddish actor, a position that required him to mock the traditional Jewish life he came from while also pretending that his art could exist without it. "The chance to make fun of the shtetl which has become a thing of the past charmed me," he claimed early on, but later, according to his daughter, he began to privately express misgivings. The theater's decision to stage King Lear as a way of elevating itself disturbed him, suggesting as it did that the Yiddish repertoire was inferior. His own integrity came from his deep devotion to yiddishkayt, a sense of essential and enduring Jewishness, no matter how stripped-down that identity had become. "With the sharp sense of belonging to everything Jewish, he was tormented by the theater forsaking its expression of this belonging," his daughter writes. Even so, "no, he could not allow himself to oppose the Soviet regime even in his thoughts, the regime that gave him his own theater, but 'the heart and the wit do not meet.'"

In Ala's memory, her father differed from his director, partner, and occasional rival, Mikhoels, in his complete disinterest in politics. Mikhoels was a public figure as well as performer, and his leadership of the Jewish Antifascist Committee, while no more voluntary than any public act in a totalitarian state, was a role he played with gusto, traveling to America in 1943 and speaking to thousands of American Jews to raise money for the Red Army in their battle against the Nazis. Zuskin, on the other hand, was on the JAC roster, but seems to have continued playing the fool. According to both his daughter and his trial testimony, his role in the JAC was almost identical to his role on a Moscow municipal council, limited to playing chess in the back of the room during meetings.

In Jerusalem, Ala told me that her father was "a pure soul." "He had no interest in politics, only in his art," she said, describing his acting style as both classic and contemporary, praised by critics for its timeless qualities that are still evident today in his film work. But his talent was the most nuanced and sophisticated thing about him. Offstage, he was, as she put it in Hebrew, a "tam" — a biblical term sometimes translated as fool or simpleton, but which really means an innocent. (It is the first adjective used to describe the title character in the Book of Job.) It is true that in trial transcripts, Zuskin comes out looking better than many of his co-defendants by playing dumb instead of pointing fingers. But was this ignorance, or a wise acceptance of the futility of trying to save his skin? As King Lear's Fool put it, "They'll have me whipp'd for speaking true; thou'lt have me whipp'd for holding my peace." Reflecting on her father's role as a fool named Pinia in a popular film, Ala writes in her book, "When I imagine the moment when my father heard his death sentence, I see Pinia in close-up . . . his shoulders slumped, despair in his appearance. I hear the tone that cannot be imitated in his last line in the film — and perhaps also the last line in his life? — 'I don't understand anything.'"

Yet it is clear that Zuskin deeply understood how impossible his situation was. In one of the book's more disturbing moments, Ala describes him rehearsing for one of his landmark roles, that of the comic actor Hotsmakh in Sholem Aleichem's Wandering Stars, a work whose subject is the Yiddish theater. He had played the role before, but this production was going up in the wake of Mikhoel's murder. Zuskin was already among the hunted, and he knew it. As Ala writes:

One morning — already after the murder of Mikhoels — I saw my father pacing the room and memorizing the words of Hotsmakh's role. Suddenly, in a gesture revealing a hopeless anguish, Father actually threw himself at me, hugged me, pressed me to his heart, and together with me, continued to pace the room and to memorize the words of the role. That evening I saw the performance . . . "The doctors say that I need rest, air, and the sea . . . For what . . . without the theater?" [Hotsmakh asks], he winds the scarf around his neck — as though it were a noose. For my father, I think those words of Hotsmakh were like the motif of the role and — I think — of his own life.

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Describing the charges levied against Zuskin and his peers is a degrading exercise, for doing so makes it seem as though these charges are worth considering. They are not. It is at this point that Hanukkah antisemitism transformed, as it inevitably does, into Purim antisemitism. Here Ala offers what hundreds of pages of state archives can't, describing the impending horror of the noose around one's neck.

Her father stopped sleeping, began receiving anonymous threats, and saw that he was being watched. No conversation was safe. When a visitor from Poland waited near his apartment building to give him news of his older daughter Tamara (who was then living in Warsaw), Zuskin instructed the man to walk behind him while speaking to him and then to switch directions, so as to avoid notice. When the man asked Zuskin what he wanted to tell his daughter, Zuskin "approached the guest so closely that there was no space between them, and whispered in Yiddish, 'Tell her that the ground is burning beneath my feet.'" It is true that no one can know what Zuskin or any of the other defendants really believed about the Soviet system they served. It is also true — and far more devastating — that their beliefs were utterly irrelevant.

Ala and her mother were exiled to Kazakhstan after her father's arrest, and learned of his execution only when they were allowed to return to Moscow in 1955. By then, he had already been dead for three years.

In Jerusalem that morning, Ala told me, in a sudden private moment of anger and candor, that the Soviet Union's treatment of the Jews was worse than Nazi Germany's. I tried to argue, but she shut me up. Obviously the Nazi atrocities against Jews were incomparable, a fact Ala later acknowledged in a calmer mood. But over four generations, the Soviet regime forced Jews to participate in and internalize their own humiliation - and in that way, Ala suggested, they destroyed far more souls. And they never, ever, paid for it.

"They never had a Nuremberg," Ala told me that day, with a quiet fury. "They never acknowledged the evil of what they did. The Nazis were open about what they were doing, but the Soviets pretended. They lured the Jews in, they baited them with support and recognition, they used them, they tricked them, and then they killed them. It was a trap. And no one knows about it, even now. People know about the Holocaust, but not this. Even here in Israel, people don't know. How did you know?"

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That evening I went out to the Old City again, to watch the torches being lit at the Western Wall for the second night of Hanukkah. I walked once more through the Jewish Quarter, where the oil lamps, now each bearing one additional flame, were displayed outside every home, following the tradition to publicize the Hanukkah miracle — not merely the legendary long-lasting oil, but the miracle of military and spiritual victory over a coercive empire, the freedom to be uncool, the freedom not to pretend. Somewhere nearby, deep underground, lay the ruins of the gymnasium where de-circumcised Jewish boys once performed naked before approving crowds, stripped of their integrity and left with their private pain. I thought of Benjamin Zuskin performing as the dead wedding jester, proclaiming, "The dead will rise!" and then performing again in a "superior" play, as King Lear's Fool. I thought of the ground burning beneath his feet. I thought of his daughter, Ala, now an old woman, walking through Jerusalem.

I am not a sentimental person. As I returned to the stone house that night, along the streets lit by oil lamps, I was surprised to find myself crying.

#People Love Dead Jews #Dara Horn #Soviet Jewry #Soviet antisemitism #antizionism is not antisemitism #jumblr

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the-offside-rule · 6 months ago

Text

Lando Norris (McLaren) - So High School

Requested: nope

Swift Series

Warnings: low-key sad at the end

Lando Norris lay comfortably on the bed, propped up on his side, his fingers gently tracing random shapes on his girlfriend Y/n’s back. The room was softly lit, creating a warm, cozy atmosphere. Y/n was sitting up, crouched over the 'bedside piano' as Lando called it. It was simply a small piano she had for quick ideas. She held a notebook and pen in hand as she sang along and scribbled down lyrics. "I feel so high school-" She paused, tapping the pen off of her notepad. "So high school, thinking we were cool- no." She mumbled, scribbling the line out, before humming again to find the right words. "No, that's not it."

Lando watched her, a soft smile playing on his lips as he admired her dedication. "What about 'thinking we ruled the school'?" He suggested, his voice low and tender. Y/n turned slightly, glancing at him with a thoughtful expression. "Hmm, maybe. That could work." She jotted down the suggestion and sang the line again. "So high school, thinking we ruled the school-" She shook her head again. "No, not that either." Y/n sighed, flipping the page to see the part she wrote before. "Get my car door, isn't that sweet? Then you pull me to the backseat. You know how to make my heartbeat, don't you?" She showed Lando. "Do you think this line would be better or this one?" He read them both, shrugging. "I don't know, babe. You're the artist."

"Well how about, 'No one's ever had me, not like you'? How's that sound?" Lando jutted his lip out. "Sing it for me." She hummed along, tapping the piano keys gently. "I like it." He smiled. Lando continued tracing shapes, now more intricate patterns as he listened to her sing. Her voice was melodic, full of passion and creativity. She sang a few more lines, occasionally stopping to tweak a word or a phrase, her brow furrowed in concentration.

After a while, she picked up her camera, ready to record a demo. She set it up on the nightstand, making sure it captured her, her 'bedside piano' and the notebook. As she began to sing, Lando slowly stopped drawing the shapes, his focus instead fixed on her with an expression of pure adoration. Y/n sang the chorus with confidence, her voice filling the room. "Are you gonna marry, kiss, or kill me? It's just a game but really, I'm betting on all three, for us two. Get my car door, isn't that sweet? So pull me to the backseat. No one's ever had me, not like you."

Lando watched in awe as she poured her heart into the song, his admiration for her evident in his eyes. He felt a rush of pride and love, unable to look away from her radiant presence. When she finished the song, she stopped the recording and reached for the camera to play it back. As the video played, she noticed Lando’s reflection in the screen, his eyes filled with affection and wonder as he watched her sing.

She turned to him, her heart swelling with emotion. "You really love watching me, don't you?" Lando smiled, his fingers gently brushing a strand of hair from her face. "I do. Biggest fan." Y/n leaned in, their lips meeting in a tender kiss. "How about I give my biggest fan a private show, then?" He pulled her close, his arms wrapping around her as they lay back on the bed. "Yes please."

--------------

Months had passed since the breakup with Lando. Their lives, once intertwined so beautifully, had drifted apart under the pressures of their respective careers and personal differences. It had been a painful decision, one that still tugged at her heart despite the passage of time.

Y/n sat at a press event, zoning in and out of thoughts as the room buzzing with excitement and anticipation. Fans and reporters filled the space, eager to ask her questions about her new album. She smiled, fielding questions with grace and enthusiasm. "So yeah, that's why I chose to name the album The Tortured Poets Department." She smiled, looking around for other question. Her eyes fell to a young girl in the front. Her hand had been up for a while, so she figured why not? "Yes, yourself?" Y/n said. The fan stood up, holding the microphone. "Hi, Y/n. I'm a huge fan, I have been looking forward to this album for months. Y/n's face beamed upon hearing her words. "Lostening to the album, one song really stuck out to me that I loved, do my question is; what inspired 'So High School'?" Y/n's smile faltered for a brief second, memories of late-night songwriting sessions with Lando flooding her mind.

She took a deep breath, composing herself before answering. "It's about reminiscing on young love and the emotions that come with it. It's a reflection of a time when everything felt so intense and real." The fan nodded, satisfied with the answer, but Y/n could see the follow-up question forming in her eyes. "Was there a specific person or moment that inspired it?" Y/n hesitated, her heart aching at the thought of Lando. She chose her words carefully, masking the sadness that threatened to surface. "There were many moments and people who inspired the song. It's a mix of different experiences from my life."

As the event continued, Y/n maintained her cheerful demeanor, but inside, she felt the weight of unspoken words and unresolved feelings. After the last question, she excused herself and slipped backstage, needing a moment to gather herself. She found a quiet corner and leaned against the wall, closing her eyes. The memory of Lando's adoring gaze as she sang the demo played in her mind, a bittersweet reminder of what they once had. She missed him, missed the way he believed in her, missed the warmth of his touch. But she also knew that their paths had seperatrd for a reason. She had grown, both as an artist and as a person, and she hoped he had found happiness too.

Y/n straightened up, taking a deep breath. She wiped away the single tear that had escaped and put on a brave face. She had a career to focus on, fans who looked up to her, and a future that still held promise. As she stepped back into the bustling event, she reminded herself of the journey ahead. The past was a part of her, but it didn't define her. She would carry the memories with her, using them to fuel her music and inspire others. And that somewhere, she hoped, Lando was watching her with that same look of awe, proud of the woman she had become.

#f1 imagine #f1 blurb #f1 oneshot #f1 x reader #f1 x y/n #lando norris x you #lando norris x oc #lando norris x y/n #lando norris x reader #lando norris imagine #lando norris imagines #lando norris fluff #lando norris fanfic #lando norris #lando norris blurb

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likeadevils · 1 year ago

Text

1989 Timeline

This is a very long post that puts all the songs on 1989 in order of Taylor creating them. I’ve also included a few other songs she worked on while writing 1989 and quotes from Taylor and her collaborators talking about her process

Of all the albums in Taylor's discography, I think this is the one that improves the most when you listen to it in order. All of those things Taylor was talking about in the promo for this album-- how this is an album of her coming into her own, figuring out her values, learning to stand on her own two feet-- it all clicks into place. Listening to it in order has made me cry on more than one occasion, and it's also the thing that made me start this whole crazy process of figuring out the dates she wrote each song.

If you don't want to read the whole post, check out this playlist of the album in order or this playlist of her entire discography.

I’ve also added this color coded scale of how sure I am of the date:

Confirmed: There is some type of official source for the date

Inferring: Nobody has officially said “This is when we wrote it,” but all available evidence points to that date

Speculation: This date is based on guesswork and is highly likely to change, or, all that is known is the general season.

Unknown: All that is known is the year (from the US Copyright Offices)

Without further ado...

Oct 6, 2012: Taylor seems to have been in a studio in London (Note: I have no idea where this photo comes from and I can not find a place that specifies if this is a music studio or radio interview.)

This Love: Oct 17, 2012 (Confirmed)

October 19, 2012: Taylor mentions wanting to work with Imogen Heap, prompting Imogen to get in touch with Taylor

Time Interview: Who’d be your dream collaboration, especially now that you’re taking more musical risks? Let me think. Imogen Heap! She’s amazing. Taylor: Someone asked me in an interview "Who would you like to work with?" and I said Imogen Heap. I get an email to my management, sent like "Imogen just saw that Taylor just said an interview that she would like to work together" She said "Why don't you come out to my studio." Imogen: I got a phone call [in 2014] saying Taylor Swift was in London, she'd love to work with me and the only date she could do (between 4 sold out 02 arenas!) was the day after we got back, Sunday. It was both unexpected and not at the same time as I'd heard Taylor was a fan a while back via this Time magazine piece but somehow didn't think it would actually happen.

Fall 2012: Taylor possibly writes a song with Harry Styles and Jacknife Lee (her producer for The Last Time).

Jacknife Lee: “It was out of my field of expertise and interest, but I was intrigued and my girls were thrilled. Taylor was nice and very professional. She knew what she wanted and there was no fucking about. She was seeing Harry Styles at the time, so he came to Topanga on her recommendation. She wrote a few songs with him, and it was the same thing – quick. But this time it was more directed by the management and label. They were after something specific. I wanted more acoustic and gentle, almost Americana, and they wanted bombast. They got what they wanted, and that was the extent of my foray into teen-pop territory. It was fun.”

All You Had to Do Was Stay: Jan 10, 2013 (Confirmed)

Taylor is photographed outside Conway, and then tweets "Back in the studio. Uh oh..." Later, Taylor confirmed that she was recording All You Had To Do Was Stay. Taylor: I had a dream that my ex showed up at my door, knocked at my door, and I opened it up, and I was about ready to launch into the perfect thing to say [...], Instead, all that would come out of my mouth was that high-pitched chorus of people singing, 'Stay!'...and then you go to say something else, and it's just like 'Stay! Stay! Stay!' And I woke up, I was like 'Oh, that was mortifying. But that's kind of a cool vocal part.'

January 11, 2013: Taylor is photographed outside Conway again

How You Get The Girl: Jan 15, 2013 (Confirmed)

Taylor posts a picture of her playing a guitar in the studio, captioned "Somewhere in LA..". Later, Taylor confirmed that she was recording How You Get The Girl. Given what was going on in her personal life, she likely wrote this sometime in the fall/winter of 2012, but all we know for sure is the date she recorded it.

February 9, 2013: Tweets "Grammy rehearsals last night, studio today, who knows what tonight holds! (I do. Laying around watching TV and eating candy.)"

March 6, 2013: Taylor is photographed outside a studio in LA

March 23, 2013: Posts a picture of her playing guitar captioned "Pre show. Columbia, South Carolina"

I Wish You Would: May 28, 2013 (Inferring)

Taylor is photographed out for lunch in Rhode Island with Lena Dunham and Jack Antonoff on May 27, before leaving for her show in Phoenix, Arizona the next day Taylor: "Max Martin and [Karl Johan] Shellback [Schuster] were the last people I collaborated with on [2012 album] Red, and I wished we could have done more and explored more. So going into this album, I knew that I wanted to start with them again. Then I thought, “Wouldn’t it be amazing to work with Ryan Tedder?” And then I was with Jack Antonoff and Lena Dunham at the beach, and we started talking about our favorite ’80s music. All of this started happening organically, and I found myself gravitating toward pop sensibilities, pop hooks, pop production styles." Jack: "We were hanging out at her house in Rhode Island and we were talking about John Hughes movies, and a lot of the music that inspired [them], and just this general culture of sound in that time period that was really larger-than-life in an anthemic, positive way. These songs could be at the end of films that were really, really beautiful and said a lot. That actually ended up being a song called 'I Wish You Would' which is going to be on her album. We first worked on that song together and realized we kind of have a good thing. Taylor: “This is a song I did with Jack Antonoff, and Jack is one of my friends and so we were hanging out and he pulled out his phone and goes "I made this amazing track the other day. It's so cool, I love these guitar sounds." And he played it for me and immediately I could hear this finished song in my head, and I just said "Please, please let me have that. Let me play with it, like send it to me" And so he sent it to me and I was on tour and this was me playing the track on my laptop recording me singing the vocal into my phone and it ended up being a song called "I Wish You Would", because Jack wrote back and said "I love that".”

June 7, 2013: At the CMA fest, Taylor is asked if she's started writing for her next album yet

“It's starting, all the anxiety is starting and when the anxiety starts, then the writing happens right afterward, usually. Um, so, yeah, I basically... I like to, I like to write for about two years before I'm finished with an album because I... at this point I kind of know that whenever I write in the first year is going to get thrown away, because, I'm going to like it, but it's going to sound a little bit like the last project I had, and the second year usually ends up sounding like the next project. So I think at this point, at this point I feel like staying the same is the easy way to go but it's not the way that I want to go, creatively. I think you need to challenge yourself, I think you need to change up your influences, I think you need to be inspired by different things that you've been inspired by before, and, uh, y'know, It's harder to call people you don't know, and it's harder to think of topics you haven't covered and think of new ways to say old emotions that everyone feels, but, that's the goal at this point."

June 20-21, 2013: Taylor and Selena Gomez hang out, and Taylor potentially writes Wildest Dreams.

July 15, 2013: Taylor gives a brief interview to Rolling Stone

“The floodgates just opened the last couple weeks,” she says of the songwriting process. “I’m getting to that point where I’m irritating to be around because I’ll be with you for half the conversation and then the second half of the conversation I’m clearly editing the second verse of whatever I’m writing in my head.” “I really loved collaborating [on Red],” she says. “You work with a lot of different people and you find the people you have this dream connection with in the studio. I know those people and I know the ones I want to go back to. But I also have a really long list of the people I admire and I would really love to go and contact. So that’s kind of where that is.” “I think that the idea of having a different approach to every single one of my albums is so exciting to me. I never want to make the same record twice. Why do it? What’s the point? It’s so overwhelming that when you’re starting a project there are such endless possibilities if you’re willing to evolve and experiment. If you’re willing to become a different version of yourself, you can really go anywhere with it. And that’s kind of where I am. The kind of the laboratory experimental stage of really catching onto a new thing that I’m liking.”

July 18, 2013: Taylor unfollows the three backup dancers that left her tour for Katy's, meaning Bad Blood was likely written sometime between July and November 2013.

Sweeter Than Fiction: Summer 2013 (Speculation)

Taylor wrote this one over email, and then it was recorded in New York (partially in Jack's living room, partially in an actual studio)

August 25, 2013: Taylor and Selena Gomez hang out at the VMAs, and Taylor potentially writes Wildest Dreams.

August 25, 2013: Taylor gives a brief interview on the VMAs red carpet

"But I think [songwriting is] about to start to kick into full gear. I'm about to go into the studio. It's about to get really intense."

Out Of The Woods: September 14 2013 (Inferring)

On September 14, Fun cancelled their show. Taylor was likely either flying to or from Charlottesville, where she had a show for the Red Tour. Jack: "When I did the track for Out of the Woods, which is a Taylor song that I'm really proud of, there was some issue at a venue and our show was canceled that night and I didn't have my stuff, I had left it on the bus, so I only had these old samples on what was on my laptop, and caught up that 'oh oh'' thing, and I only had one drum kit on there, and these dumb little things [sometimes turn into a great song]" Jack: "So 'Out Of The Woods' was the third thing we worked on together, and probably the easiest. I sent her the track for it, and she sent back a voice note with the verse and chorus in what felt like five seconds. And it was just perfect. It's eerie how similar it is to what the final product is." Taylor: "This is a track that Jack Antonoff sent me, and I was actually on a plane, I got it and I got on a plane and I'm listening to it, and I'm just like listening to it and mumbling melodies cause the song came to me immediately like, in full [...] I think what I should start by playing you, is when I got the track, what I sent him like an hour later, and it is, me.. um, me singing what came to me, which ended up being the finished version of the song, or at least really close to it."

September 20, 2013: In a brief interview with USA Today, Taylor says she plans to work on her next album between the next few legs of the Red Tour

"I’ll be in the studio, figuring out what comes next. I really like to take two years to make a record, and I’ve been writing and doing stuff for the last year. This is kind of the year that it goes into overdrive, and it’s all I think about and I become obsessive over it and I’m hard to talk to"

September 22, 2013: Taylor gives an interview to New York Magazine where she talks about her plans for TS5

These days, Swift is thinking a lot about her next record. While on the Red tour, she’d been writing songs and stockpiling ideas: reams of lyrics, thousands of voice memos in her iPhone [...] she plans to spend much of 2014 writing and recording the new album, a prospect she finds exhilarating and terrifying. “I worry about everything. Some days I wake up in a mind-set of, like, ‘Okay, it’s been a good run.’ By afternoon, I could have a change of mood and feel like anything is possible and I can’t wait to make this kind of music I’ve never made before. And then by evening, I could be terrified of the whole thing again. And then at night, I’ll write a song before bed.” Swift hopes to collaborate with new songwriters and producers. But she planned to begin, she said, by heading back into the studio with Max Martin and Shellback. “I want to go in with Max and Johan first, just to figure out what the bone structure of this record is going to be. “I have a lot of things to draw from emotionally at the moment. But I have to draw from them with a different perspective than on Red. I can’t say the same things over and over, you know? I mean, I think it’s just all the more important that I don’t ever allow myself to coast. At the same time, there’s a mistake that I see artists make when they’re on their fourth or fifth record, and they think innovation is more important than solid songwriting. The most terrible letdown as a listener for me is when I’m listening to a song and I see what they were trying to do. Like, where there’s a dance break that doesn’t make any sense, there’s a rap that shouldn’t be there, there’s like a beat change that’s, like, the coolest, hippest thing this six months—but it has nothing to do with the feeling, it has nothing to do with the emotion, it has nothing to do with the lyric. I never want to put things in songs just because that might make them popular, like, on the more rhythmic stations or in dance clubs. I really don’t want a compilation of sounds. I just need them to be songs.”

September 28-October 5, 2013: Taylor and Selena Gomez are in the same city, and Taylor potentially writes Wildest Dreams.

October 12, 2013: Taylor gives an interview to the Associated Press

Swift: I think the goal for the next album is to continue to change, and never change in the same way twice [...] How do I write these figurative diary entries in ways that I’ve never written them before and to a sonic backdrop that I’ve never explored before? It’s my fifth album, which is crazy to think about, but I think what I’m noticing about it so far is it’s definitely taking a different turn than anything I’ve done before. AP: You said recently you’ve been working on songs for the new album for about six months. What can you tell us about what you have planned? Swift: It’s too early to tell who are going to be my predominant collaborators, but I do know that my absolute dream collaborators were Shellback and Max Martin on the last project. I’ve never been so challenged as a songwriter. I’ve never learned so much. I’ve never just been so excited to show up to the studio every day, just because you never know what we’re going to put together. I’ll bring in ideas and they’ll take such a different turn than where I thought they were going to go, and that level of unexpected spontaneity is something that really thrills me in the process of making music. ... What if we did this? What if we made it weirder? What if we took it darker? I love people who have endless strange and exciting ideas about where music can go."

October 14, 2013: At the NSAI, Taylor talks about reinventing herself for different albums

"I’m making my 5th record now, so I think you have to change things up, you have to explore different corners of music as much as you can. Cause I really, it’s been a big goal of mine to never make two albums that sounded the same. I really want my fans to be able to be like "Oh that song? Clearly that's from the Fearless album", "No that one, that one was from Red" and so I’m in the process of doing that thing all over again for my 5th album and it’s amazing to be in the studio and to be songwriting again, and be honored for songwriting tonight"

Blank Space: October 26, 2013 (Inferring)

It looks like she’s wearing the same outfit in this behind the scenes footage and these candids Taylor: "I was going into write with Max Martin and Shellback, who are two of the primary collaborators on 1989, and I... was preparing all these things, and I, I think Blank Space was like the third thing I played them, and they just stopped and they were like "NO, this is the first thing we're working on today." [...] I had the idea for the chorus and I had the hook, but a lot of the verse was gibberish." Taylor (On what song took her the least amount of time to write): "Blank space, cause I'd written a lot of the lines down already in the year preceding the session"

October 29, 2013: Tweets "Sitting in the studio writing the next album (!!!!) and wanted to thank you for the American Music Award nominations!"

November 1 : While promoting Keds, Taylor is asked about her next album

"What I go through is going to be the story that I tell. I think lyrically, I always try to tell my fans exactly what’s happened to me in the last two years, and that’s the thing they can expect. Everything else, they won’t be able to expect. Having been in the studio with this one, I’m just like… oh, this is going to be fun"

Bad Blood: Fall 2013 (Speculation)

The backup dancer drama seems to have kicked off in mid-July. Given that it's produced by Max Martin and Shellback, and Taylor was in the studio with them pretty much non-stop from October-November, we can assume that it was recorded sometime in the Fall of 2013

New Romantics: Fall 2013 (Speculation)

Unfortunately, Taylor doesn't really talk about this song. Given that it's produced by Max Martin and Shellback, and Taylor was in the studio with them pretty much non-stop from October-November, we can assume that it was recorded sometime in the Fall of 2013

Wildest Dreams: Fall 2013 (Speculation)

Selena reportedly told a fan she was there when Taylor wrote this, and I've noted above all the times Selena could have been with Taylor in 2013 (Here's my personal ranking of how likely each date is). Given that it's produced by Max Martin and Shellback, and Taylor was in the studio with them pretty much non-stop from October-November, we can assume that it was recorded sometime in the Fall of 2013.

Wonderland: Fall 2013 (Speculation)

Another one Taylor just doesn't talk about all that often. Given that it's produced by Max Martin and Shellback, and Taylor was in the studio with them pretty much non-stop from October-November, we can assume that it was recorded sometime in the Fall of 2013

Nov 20, 2013: Taylor posted "While in the studio, I came to the realization that my bangs are long enough to use as a sleep mask on long flights. Then I remembered I don't ever use sleep masks on flights. So really, I just need a haircut"

November 25, 2013: Taylor and Scott Borchetta have a meeting to talk about her plans for TS5 and are both asked about the next album at the AMAs

Taylor: “We got a lot already. There are probably seven or eight [songs] that I know I want on the record. It’s really ahead of schedule for me. I’m just stoked because it’s already evolved into a new sound, and that’s all I wanted. And I would have taken two years to make that happen, but it just kind of happened naturally, so that’s all I could really ask for.” Scott Borchetta: "Well earlier today we got together and she played me seven new songs, and she’s just on fire. The level of desire and passion that she has just to keep getting better, she’s an artist that just really never wants to just say ‘Well okay this is good enough’. It’s always gotta be better. She’s in amazing creative place right now." By the end of November, Taylor had likely recorded This Love, All You Had To Do Was Stay, How You Get The Girl, I Wish You Would, Out Of The Woods, Blank Space, Bad Blood, New Romantics, Wildest Dreams, and Wonderland. That’s 10 songs total, 5 of which were likely recorded in the past two months, and 7 that had been made since Taylor and Jack had their conversation about 80s music in May.

Dec 21, 2013: Taylor briefly talks to Billboard about TS5

"I’m really loving collaboration right now [...] I see it as a bit of an apprenticeship. I want to be around people who love writing songs and have done it for years. Every time I’m in a studio I’m learning, like how to build a drum track, and getting a new perspective on things. It’s so thrilling to keep learning on your fifth album. As soon as [an album] comes out I’m figuring out what the next one will be. It’s gotten to the point where each one is a reinvention, which is what I like best. I like it when it sounds new and people don’t know where you’re going to go next."

Say Don't Go: Jan 1, 2014 (Confirmed)

Diane Warren: Warren, who typically writes on her own, says the two of them “sat down and wrote the song […] from scratch” during the last few days of 2013. She remembers being impressed with how specific Swift was with her lyricism and how considerate she was about how her fans might receive it. “She was very particular about how she said certain things. It was a really interesting experience. She gets her audience [...] She’s deeply aware of how her fans want to hear something. I can’t explain it, but that’s probably why she’s the biggest fucking star in the world.” Several days after writing the song together, they got into Warren’s office to record a demo, where Swift played it on her acoustic guitar. “We demoed it on New Year’s Day. And I’m a workaholic, and that’s fine for me,” she says. “But I remember being impressed that she did, too. Everybody’s on vacation, but she showed up.”

You Are In Love: Jan 2014 (Inferring)

This song is copyrighted for 2014. Taylor has said a few times that Clean, Shake It Off, and Style were the last songs written for the album, meaning You Are In Love was likely completed in January or early February. Given Taylor's busy schedule in late January and early February, I'd guess this was written at some point in early January. Furthermore, I'd guess it was sometime after the 9th, when she returned from looking at house in New York.

I Know Places: Jan 22, 2014 (Confirmed)

Taylor: "I sent this voice memo to Ryan Tedder because I'd always wanted to work with him, and finally we scheduled some studio time. So I always wanna be prepared, I wanted to send him the idea that I was working on before we went into the studio just in case he wrote back and said "I can't stand that, I wanna work on something else, think of something else" So I just sat down with the piano, put my phone on top of the piano and just kind of explained to him where I wanted to go with the song, how I saw the melody sitting in and we ended up recording the song the next day and it ended up being on the record called "I Know Places" So this was the voice memo that I sent to him the night before we ended up finishing the song"

Welcome To New York: Jan 23, 2014 (Confirmed)

Ryan Tedder: "I thought we were going to walk in and start something from scratch because that's what I was used to. Then she calls me and says, 'Is it cool if I already have an idea?' I said, 'Sure.' She said, 'I have this song, I'm obsessed with New York and I just moved there, I want to write an ode to New York because no one's done it in a long time.' And then she sent me a voice memo. She's like, 'I want it to sound like 1980s.' So the next day I brought in a Juno-106, which is a very 1980s keyboard and I literally programmed that entire song right in front of her. It was very much on the fly, and that song was done in about three hours. And I did the rest of the production I think later that week. I was in Switzerland on a tour bus, and I did four versions of 'Welcome to New York,' one of which I liked personally more, but the thing about artists is they become very obsessed with the demo. She was in love with the demo so no matter how hard I fought, she brought it back to the demo, so really what you hear is what I did on the first day."

January 26 2014: Dianne Warren says that she recently wrote a song with Taylor

"I worked with Taylor Swift on a great song [...] I'm excited about the [song] that we did, it's pretty cool Dianne in 2016: “I know [Swift] likes it, so hopefully it will see the light of day. I know she really likes the song. She didn’t want me to give it away, so hopefully that means she wants it.”

January 26 2014: Taylor loses Album of the Year at the Grammy's to Daft Punk. She tells a few different stories about what the rest of the night looked like for her-- in some she goes home alone, in some she has some friends over-- but in all of them, this is the night where she decides that she's gonna name the album 1989, and she's not going to let her label tell her to put any country songs on it.

Clean: Feb 9, 2014 (Confirmed)

According to Imogen Heap's blog post, Taylor had the first verse and chorus by the time they got into the studio, and then wrote the second verse and bridge during the session. Taylor's part was wrapped up in 9 hours, ending at 8pm, while Imogen stayed up until 4am because she didn't want to stop working on it. Taylor: ""Shake It Off" and "Clean" were the last two things we wrote for the record, so it shows you where I ended up mentally. “Clean” I wrote as I was walking out of Liberty in London. Someone I used to date— it hit me that I’d been in the same city as him for two weeks and I hadn’t thought about it. When it did hit me, it was like, ‘Oh, I hope he’s doing well’. And nothing else. [...] The first thought that came to my mind was – I’m finally clean." Imogen Heap: I was really writing the tiniest amount just to help her do what she does. I put some noises to [“Clean”], played various instruments on it, including drums, and anytime she expressed she liked something I was doing, I did it more. It was a really fun day. She recorded all her vocals [for “Clean”] during that one session. She did two takes, and the second take was it. We always thought she would probably re-record it, because we thought it can’t possibly be that easy. But after we lived with it for a few months, we felt it was great.

February 15, 2014: Taylor posts "It was a studio Valentines Day with Max and Johan!"

Shake It Off: Feb 15, 2014 (Confirmed)

Lover Diaries (From Feb 22): "This week I’ve been in the studio with Max and Johan every day and it has been the most creatively successful and fulfilling time. The first day, Johan just made a really up tempo drum beat because we decided we needed something UP and light. We worked at it for a few hours before I just started singing “shake it off, shake it off.” And then the best way I know how to describe it is that the chorus just fell out of the sky. It ended up being this song about doing your own thing even though haters are gonna hate, and you just have to dance to your own beat. We all went home and I wrote the first and second verses and brought them in the next day. We wrote this chanty cheer leader bridge that I absolutely LOVE. We spent all day doing vocals and the next day recording background vocals. I think it’ll end up being the first single and Max said it’s his favorite song he’s ever been a part of." Taylor: "The problem was, I had all these lyrics, and I didnt have, like... writing session was coming up and I'm just like "I'm not getting a melody, I'm dead, I don't know what I'm gonna do." The thought terrified me, so I just sorta sulked into the studio and I was like "Guys, I have like an idea but its like, lyric, but I... and I know the vibe I want-- I want it to start off and the second the song starts, I want it to be the song where like, if it's played at a wedding, and there's this one girl who hasn't danced all night at the reception, all her friends come over to her and there like "You have to dance, come on, you have to dance on this one!". That's what I wanted. So I was like "Shellback, can you just go to the drum kit and try to play that?" Taylor: "There's one thing that I've always said to Max, is like "I don't like horns" I just always had a thing about it, I was always like weirdly scared of it, or intimidated by horns, I don't know what it was? It's a weird, like, nerdy studio fear of mine. I was like "No, no horns!" and I don't.. I don't even know, I don't have a reason for it, I love songs that have horns on them, I was just like "I don't think I can pull off horns." Strange. But, he goes over to the mellotron and he starts playing this horn sound. I'm like "What are you doing. Don't do that." and he's like, "No, I think this is cool" and I'm like "No it's not cool, and where are your chorus chords, because, that, you're just playing three chords over and over again and I can't make a chorus out of them, why don't you go to like a chorus chord that starts off the chorus, where is the one, like why don't you go--" and then there was this moment, where I thought of the whole chorus, and it's over the chords that I had just told him are not "chorus chords", which is a ridiculous thing to say."

February 18, 2014: Taylor is photographed entering Conway Studios

Style: Feb 19, 2014 (Confirmed)

Niklas Ljungfelt (guitarist): I played on “Style,” a song I started with Ali Payami for ourselves. He was playing it for Max Martin at his studio; Taylor overheard it and loved it. She and Max wrote new lyrics. But I recorded the guitar on it before it was a Taylor song. It was an instrumental. I didn’t have a clue that Taylor would sing on it. The inspiration came from Daft Punk and funky electronic music. Taylor: I'm pretty sure after we finished this one I knew the record was done. Shake It Off and Style were the last two songs to be written for 1989.

March 2014: Taylor's interview with Glamour is published (likely conducted two months beforehand)

TS: Working on this album has been unbelievable [...] I'm already in love with it. It's so different. CL: What's the new sound? TS: On Red I did three songs with Max Martin Shellback [...] I think we'll be doing a lot more than three songs together on the next album [Laughs].

March 26, 2014: Taylor is photographed entering a music studio in New York

"Slut!": 2014 (Unknown)

Taylor: The song “Slut!” is a song we wrote for 1989 and in it, I kind of cheekily play on the discussions at that time of my life around my dating life. And that’s not the only time on 1989 that I’d done that, I’ve done that on “Blank Space” and when I came down to having to pick songs for the album, I think I though, “Okay, well, I’m going to choose ‘Blank Space’” and, unfortunately, had to make some tough decisions in terms of what to put on the tracklist. But I love this song because I think it’s really dreamy. And I always saw 1989 as a New York album, but this song, to me, was always California, and maybe that was another reason it didn’t make the cut, because sometimes, thematically, I just had these little weird rules in my head. But I’m so happy it’s finally going to be something you guys hear, because I have always been proud of it, I’ve always wanted it to come out into the world and now it is, so yay!

Suburban Legends: 2014 (Unknown)

Taylor hasn't talked about this song, and it was produced by Jack Antonoff, who she didn't schedule time in the studio with in the same way she did with Max Martin and Shellback, so there's not a lot to work with.

Is It Over Now?: 2014 (Unknown)

Similarly to Suburban Legends, Jack produced this, so there's no obvious point in time to point to. She has spoken briefly about it though. Taylor: “Is It Over Now” is a song I wanted to end the album with because I think it’s kind of a fun play on words of like, “Is the album over now?” I always saw this song as sort of a sister to “Out Of The Woods” and “I Wish You Would,” I kind of saw those songs as similar, so, unfortunately, when we were making these decisions of what to put on 1989 and what to leave behind, I had to make some tough choices, and now it doesn’t matter anymore because you guys are going to hear all the songs. I’m so happy this song is out. I really love the “let’s fast forward to three hundred takeout coffees later,” that session, I just feel like head banging to every time it comes on. Hope you agree.

May 30, 2014: Taylor writes in her diary:

So a crazy story unfolded in the last 24 hours. Last night, I had this vivid dream where the photo I’d chosen for the album cover wasn’t good enough, intriguing enough, artful enough. It woke me up. I couldn’t shake it and it stayed with me all day. Because that nagging feeling I’d been pushing back for weeks was now confirmed in my gut … It wasn’t good enough. I went to the venue, mind racing, wondering if I’d have to do an entirely new photo shoot … I got to my dressing room with newer versions of the “cover.” I looked at it and felt nothing. The team pulled up this new scanned file of the Polaroids we had taken during the shoot. I saw within 10 seconds. The shot. The cover. It’s a Polaroid of me sitting against a beige wall with a blue seagull swear shirt on. You can see my red lips, but the photo cuts off my eyes. From some reason unknown to me, it’s the most intriguing photo I’ve seen. I think it’s the mystery of not seeing my eyes. Maybe it just looks effortlessly cool. The craziest moment came when something caught my eye. The cover photo is photo 13. I kid you not.

August 23, 2014: Taylor is photographed walking out of a studio in LA (Note: I can not find a place that specifies if this is a recording studio, dance, photography, radio, or television studio.)

Now That We Don't Talk: Summer 2014 (Speculation)

Seeing as Taylor said she didn't have time to figure out the production, I imagine this came fairly late in the process. Taylor has a habit of adding songs right up to the deadline-- with Folklore and Evermore, she added multiple songs a week before the album came out. The latest she added songs to albums while signed to Big Machine was September, though (both Forever & Always and So It Goes...), so I assume that's the absolute latest she could've added a song to 1989. Taylor: "Now That We Don’t Talk” is one of my favorite songs that was left behind, it was so hard to leave it behind, but I think we wrote it a little bit towards the end of the process and we couldn’t get the production right at the time. But we had tons of time to perfect the production this time and figure out what we wanted this song to sound like. I think it’s the shortest song I’ve ever had, but I think it packs a punch, I think it really goes in. For the short amount of time we have, I think it makes its point.

And that's all for this timeline! Check out my others:

TIMELINES: debut • fearless • speak now • red • 1989 • rep • lover • folklore • evermore • midnights PLAYLISTS: debut • fearless • speak now • red • 1989 • rep • lover • folklore • evermore • midnights • entire discography GENERAL: tag

#txt*#timeline*#taylor swift #OH MY GOD ITS OUT ITS OUT ITS OUT I'VE BEEN RESEARCHING THIS FOR THREE YEARS AND IT'S DONE #!!!!!#as always let me know if you want further sourcing on anything/if you spot a typo or something

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lovecomedy · 1 year ago

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If you need any convincing that Noel and Liam Gallagher are incestuous freaks (affectionate), here's the basic information you need

First of all. The kisses

Loch Lomond kiss, where they just... made out on stage in front of cameras. Cool. There's a gif with every photo from every angle.

Another kiss, this time in Japan. Here's the actual video.

And here's the same video but together with nice quotes from their 2016 documentary:

Here's a 2005 award event where they kiss again and also look quite in love

And here's Liam straight up groping Noel during concerts:

General stage antics and more groping:

Just one more groping

Ok. Let's talk about the music, then

Oasis has a song that Noel wrote called "My Sister Lover". The title speaks for itself, really. It includes amazing lyrics such as "You're my lover, I'm your brother"

But there's more! Noel used the same chorus of this song (with different lyrics) for a song he released in his solo album, 20 years later. It's called "Lock All the Doors". The very first line says: "She wore a star-shaped tambourine, prettiest girl I’d ever seen". And guess... guess who famously played a star-shaped tambourine? Liam! And Noel was the one that gifted him the fucking tambourine!!

Liam wrote a song for Oasis called Guess God Thinks I'm Abel

I'll just link everything that's been said about this song, because it really is batshit insane that this song exists

(It's common in the north of England to refer to things and people as "our". When either Liam or Noel say "our kid", they're talking about each other)

Liam has the tendency of thinking every song Noel writes is about him, including the love songs

Here he says "I'm his muse", along with some other interesting quotes

Ok, now we're on to suspicious quotes!

They had sex last night, according to Liam

This one is my favorite:

Of course this one is just all the weird quotes jammed in one post, you can feel yourself going crazy as you read it

Noel assures us that Liam knows about his arse

Other people confirming that they act like a couple. And them being fucking weird about each other’s marriages.

This one has Noel saying Liam is deeply in love with him. At the bottom, Liam's tweet.

Actually Liam always tweets things that basically confirm they're relationship. Like when somebody asked him if he ever rimmed Noel. Yeah.

This radio interview is where the most lovely quotes come from. Only Noel was supposed to be interviewed but then they both showed up PISSED DRUNK. Transcription in the same post

Even More weird quotes

This one involves the word impregnate

Noel making a suspicious comment about his daughter and son, Anais and Donovan

I think to be convinced you really just need that, but I'd like to add some niceties.

Just genuinely enjoying each other’s company

This is from the Oasis; 10 Minutes Of Noise and Confusion documentary. As Noel is kissing Liam's cheek, Liam is saying "He’s a fucking cunt and I hate him and I love him and he twists my melon, man. He’s the best songwriter in the fucking world.”

Some sweet quotes, and some less sweet ones as well

From the Supersonic documentary

Hugging after playing football

Just being silly

To finish off, two wonderful video edits with endearing moments

#gallaghercest

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journey-to-the-attic · 4 months ago

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rating all of the om songs (so far) to pass time on the train LET'S GO

i was going to split these into separate posts but Ah who CARES they're all here now. for the intents and purposes of this post i am leaning more positive to the romance aspects (usually i'm more ambivalent). looong post ahead!

(i'm considering the lyrics based on the direct unofficial translations credited to Maon_ObeyMe on twitter, rather than the official english versions)

CHARACTER SONGS

Arcadia (Lucifer) -> Sonically: 7/10 I'm oddly into that one synth that comes in after the chorus. The violin stings are cool. Fun to vibe to! Points knocked off because he kind of doesn't sound like Lucifer, though. -> Lyrically: 5/10 Points removed (derogatory) for "lady", other points removed (affectionate) for the hilarity of "I'm fall in love u baby". You can tell it was written when they were still clinging somewhat to the dominant diet Christian Grey thing, but a lot of the lines are still genuinely romantic (while also being very Lucifer.) -> Overall: 7/10 I scrunch my face when I get to That One Line but otherwise I do pick this to listen to semi-regularly.

Are You Ready? (Mammon) -> Sonically: 6/10 Banger, but repetitive. Good rhythm to walk to. Hirotaka Kobayashi's delivery makes it. -> Lyrically: 6/10 Points docked for repetitiveness, but it's cute to see this side of him verbalised. Gender neutral high heels are a serve. -> Overall: 6/10 I don't relisten to this one quite as much as Arcadia, but I think that's just a genre preference.

My Chance! (Levi) -> Sonically: 8/10 The mixing on his voice is a bit weird, but it fits in with the chiptune sound, which I adore. Really catchy chorus. I also really like that soft bell insturment that's playing along with the main melody. -> Lyrically: 8/10 Really cute! Levi's characterised really well here. I love his little spoken interjections - Satoshi Kada is one of my favourite VAs in terms of delivery. (Levi's lines are some of the best in either of the voiced pop quizzes.) -> Overall: 8/10 Cute and fun to listen to. It's really easy to imagine a music video for this one.

Read My Heart (Satan) -> Sonically: 8/10 Really pretty piano instrumental, but I feel like there could've been a bit of variation. On the one hand, layering in some strings could've sounded really nice, but on the other, it does feel more personal as a solo piano ballad. Shinya Sumi has a really nice voice. -> Lyrically: 9/10 Very sweet, almost poetic, very Satan. The reference to cats doesn't feel heavy-handed. It feels like he wrote it. -> Overall: 9/10 I really like the bridge. It has a sort of lullaby quality as well, so it's nice to fall asleep to, or listen to when you need to calm down.

Pomade (Asmo) -> Sonically: 7/10 It's better-produced than some of the songs I've given a higher sonic rating, but this is more a matter of preference - this song isn't super my style. -> Lyrically: 10/10 EXCELLENT. The journey Asmo goes on? Starting out singing about himself and tempting you, then shifting to singing about you (You are my captive -> I am your captive) - the way it basically reflects his arc in OM S1? Chef's kiss. Beautiful. -> Overall: 7/10 I don't listen to it that often but I do think about those lyrics. They're so good. This is how you write a character song.

Hungry Six-Pack (Beel) Sonically: 8/10 I'm a sucker for that 'wah' effect on the guitar. I really like the rock sound, but I think it was done better in Barbatos's song. (Sorry, Beel.) Kyohei Yaguchi also does a really good job on the performance - you really get the feeling that this is how Beel himself would perform in a band. The interval in "darou" in the chorus is to die for, as is the "forever, forever-ah-ah-ah" in the last chorus. Lyrically: 6/10 Even in songs Beel cannot escape the "they only know how to write him with one character trait" allegations (/hj). To be fair, it'd be hard to get into his deeper character without dipping into lyrics about survivor's guilt, which I feel wasn't what they were going for. Overall: 7/10 I like to imagine him performing this at a bar. Also, total aside, but I really don't like that title.

Dreamscape (Belphie) -> Sonically: 9/10 I'm not usually a lo-fi person, but the vibes are perfect for Belphie and I really like this composition. -> Lyrically: 7/10 Really cute, but pretty basic - then again any of the songs' lyrics seem so when you compare them to the Queen Pomade. I do like how much Belphie's needy little-brother nature comes through here. "Hey, come see me, please?" Makes me want to pinch his cheek. -> Overall: 9/10 The sound alone carries it. I listen to it pretty regularly.

No.1 (Diavolo) -> Sonically: 9/10 Takuhei Yamamoto is giving it so much oomph and it's fantastic and also very in-character for Diavolo himself. He would be that enthusiastic. He would throw his head back and belt like that mic was made for him. (I find the "Sā, hora!" before the chorus really cute.) -> Lyrically: 6/10 It feels a little weird that he's doing the dominant thing in the lyrics here, but his sin attribute is apparently pride, and it's interesting that they chose this characterisation for him given he's usually so affable. (It's not like it came out of nowhere, to be fair - Diavolo basically admits to it on occasion, he seems to just hold it back, usually.) -> Overall: 7/10 Solid song that I don't listen to all that often for some reason.

Crazy About You (Barbatos) -> Sonically: 10/10 Absolute banger. The guitar solo makes me want to run through walls. Masayuki Harada's performance as Barbatos is also both spot-on and pitch perfect. That "Ahh-" leading into the chorus is gorgeous. I'm not the biggest fan of the spoken lines, but I appreciate that they're there for those truly starved stans who don't get nearly enough of him in the main story. -> Lyrically: 8/10 Perhaps oddly I really like his mix of servitude and sternness here. Feels playful in a way that I think really works for his dynamic with MC. (If only they'd utilise it in the game.) -> Overall: 10/10 It's just that much of a banger. Barbatos I'm so sorry for what the NB remix did to you. You were too powerful.

My Wish (Luke) -> Sonically: 6/10 Gonna be honest I completely forgot how this song sounded after I finished listening to it for the first time. I'm not the biggest fan of Luke's voice direction and there are parts in this where I just fully see a full grown man doing the voice. I do really like the chorus (the part that mentions sweets and cream) though. -> Lyrically: 8/10 Just very cute. Pretty much exactly what you'd expect from Luke - another one of those where you can easily imagine that the character wrote it themselves. -> Overall: 6/10 I don't think I've listened to it more than five times, to be honest. I actually quite like the NB remix for this one.

Question Love (Simeon) -> Sonically: 4/10 Simeon what the hell did they do to you. The production is fine, it's just... the autotune? It isn't like Yu Hirata can't sing. Why did they do that? Presumably it's a stylistic thing, which I'm not against, it's just not executed well. (Though it's cute to imagine Simeon himself being responsible, as tech-illiterate as he is.) It's a weird genre for a character like him, too. I was expecting another ballad, maybe with a harp... -> Lyrically: 6/10 Feels quite generic - I feel like Simeon of all characters would have had a more poetically written song, and his relationship with MC could have been particularly interesting to write about. (Though I'm not sure how long ago this was released.) -> Overall: 5/10 He deserved better. I do like the instrumental on his NB remix, though. That deep bass synth in the back is great

Our Destiny (Solomon) -> Sonically: 7/10 Really like those violins on the chorus. The blend of the strings with the more lo-fi adjacent sound is actually really fitting for a character like Solomon. Kazuki Kawata has this really nice smooth voice, and his ad-libbing at the end is pretty charming. The "hey!" on the chorus sometimes veers into youtube_kids_going_yay.mp3 territory for me, though. -> Lyrically: 7/10 I really like that he calls back to one of his in-game phone calls. It's kind of funny that he sounds so sure of himself when there's an almost insecure nature to his affections in NB especially. -> Overall: 7/10 All around good song. Another one who got done dirty by his remix.

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UNIT SONGS

Choose Me (Mammon, Levi, Asmo) -> Sonically: 6/10 I like the big brass sound, but... eh. Feels like something's missing. I like Hirotaka Kobayashi's delivery on Mammon's rap lines, but the chorus in particular feels kind of lacking. -> Lyrically: 7/10 I don't know what this 'love game' is but I don't think I want to participate. I also fully hear "gay" every single time. That aside, the verses are pretty good. -> Overall: 5/10 Not really for me, but I'll listen to it on shuffle sometimes. This one's remix was criminally bad.

Telepathy (Beel, Belphie) -> Sonically: 10/10 Such a pretty instrumental. Is that "ooooooo" in the background Belphie? It does sound like Satoshi Onishi's voice. The twins both sound perfectly in character and in sync with each other (though I would've liked for them to have a verse together.) Their spoken bridge is adorable. -> Lyrically: 7/10 It's hard to gauge the vibes from the lyrics. They're definitely singing to/about each other (they say so in the bridge), and that's clear in the chorus, but there are a few parts where it's like. Is that something you say to a brother?? Did a songwriter miss a memo? Also what does "your muscles are mood" mean. -> Overall: 9/10 It's such a comforting song to listen to. I just get a bit distracted by "your muscles are mood" every time. Belphie. What does that mean. Please

Passion (Lucifer, Satan) -> Sonically: 8/10 Really big fan of the piano. The breathing sounds caught me off-guard at first, but I know to expect them now. I really like both VA's performances. Lucifer sounds like Lucifer again! -> Lyrically: 7/10 I find Lucifer's line "I said that I’d listen with patience and silence, but you've got some nerve to actually continue" kind of out-of-place - it's more consistent with his characterisation in early NB than anywhere in OM when this was released, which is interesting - but the rest is pretty good. I really couldn't imagine singing this alongside your own sibling though. -> Overall: 8/10 I don't tend to choose this one a lot, but I don't skip it if it comes on in shuffle.

Take It Easy (Satan, Belphie) -> Sonically: 8/10 Really fun bouncy instrumental. I really like the rapport between these two here. (Would you say Belphie's in falsetto? Either way, I love how he and Satan take the higher and lower registers respectively.) -> Lyrically: 10/10 God I love these lyrics. They're so funny. The brief moment of sincerity before they go right back to singing about how much they love pranking Lucifer. "Makes me happy" makes me so happy. It's so sweet. These little rascals. These absolute rapscallions. -> Overall: 9/10 I like the sound of Rock On better, but the LYRICS. They're so great.

Rock On!! (Lucifer, Mammon) -> Sonically: 9/10 This one's another banger. The VAs do a great job with the back-and-forth delivery in the spoken bridge (I especially love how Lucifer and Mammon both sound like they're pretending really hard that they don't give a shit on "Yoroshiku douzo negawakuba" together". Lucifer also sounds like he ran out of air on "...omae wa" a little earlier. Lol -> Lyrically: 8/10 It's really funny to listen to them both strut their stuff singing about themselves in the verses and then suddenly get sincere to each other on the bridge. Though I think this song could've really benefited from the "feels like it was written by the characters" approach. -> Overall: 9/10 I just really like it!

Trigger (Levi, Asmo, Beel) -> Sonically: 8/10 This used to be my favourite of these three unit songs sonically, but solely the delivery of "Trigger!" bothers me a little bit. It could use more force, is all. That aside, everyone did a fantastic job and Satoshi Kada in particular served on Levi's verse. -> Lyrically: 7/10 I'm not even entirely sure what's going on in this song, but I like it. I didn't like Asmo addressing you as "kitten", but I did really like Miura Ayme adding a sort of cutesy whining tone to "I'm the cutest demon in the world, right?" - Ayme in general does a great job with Asmo's character in songs. -> Overall: 8/10 Still good! I think my tastes have just shifted since I first listened to it.

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OPENING SONGS

Sinful Indulgence (OM!:SWD) -> Sonically: 9/10 It really is a bop. Miura Ayme's performance is great. -> Lyrically: 8/10 Pretty strong! "Oh baby, obey me!" is clever and very catchy. I only ever use the word sexy as a joke so it catches me off guard when Asmo says it, but that's not really a complaint. The dark-and-sinful nature of the lyrics is really funny when you compare it to the stuff these guys actually get up to in-story. -> Overall: 8/10 It's a good listen and a good opening to the game, even if the lyrics don't really reflect the content all that well.

Devil's Way (OM!:NB) -> Sonically: 9/10 Ohhh whatever that metallic bell sound in the intro+outro instrumental is, it is a tasty sound. Shinya Sumi is performing his heart out and he's doing fantastic. I still can't fully tell if that's Belphie or Levi on the start of the second verse, but whoever it is did a really good job of making it sound subtly unsettling. The bridge starts shifting into edgy territory, but the whole song is teetering, to be honest. Also, I've mentioned this before, but the "sekai de-eeee" just before the bridge is still so good. -> Lyrically: 8/10 I adore the use of "sweetiepie" in the chorus but it does detract a little from the dark vibe they've got going on. Lucifer using 'boku' in this song of all places is bewildering and hilarious. The darker tone definitely fits in with S1 and S2. -> Overall: 8/10 Something about that bridge bothers me. Other than that, banger.

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BROTHER ENSEMBLE SONGS

It's My Party -> Sonically: 9/10 It's a bop. -> Lyrically: 6/10 Relatively basic. From a cynical perspective, the brothers basically each tell you their One Assigned Trait that the writers fall back on when they can't be bothered to do deep characterisation, but that's not the fault of the songwriter. I take psychic damage every time I hear "haters gonna hate." -> Overall: 9/10 I've listened to this quite regularly since I had my friend edit me the version with "haters gonna hate" cut out. (It's a 7/10 with the hater line left in.)

Eternal -> Sonically: 9/10 So nice. I can't unhear the first few notes as See You Again, but the rest of the track is definitely a credit to itself. I feel like there could've been more orchestral build-up, but that might also make it feel too dramatic... as is, it feels more candid and personal. Like you could imagine this being performed to you in a small local theater. -> Lyrically: 10/10 There is definitely bias at play, but hearing this as OM's first sincere ensemble love song made a pretty big impression. The lyrics are so sweet. "My love" is one of those terms of affection that I love so much I don't even mind when it's used on me. -> Overall: 10/10 Again, biased, but this song just has a special place in my heart.

On Your Way -> Sonically: 6/10 It's.... fine? I like the instrumental, but the chorus feels a little empty. Shinya Sumi hitting that high note on "Let's get you on your way" each time is kind of inspiring, though. Belt it, girl! -> Lyrically: 7/10 The "eeny-meeny-miny-mo" is so silly but I love it. -> Overall: 6/10 Pretty standard stuff.

With You -> Sonically: 9/10 Gosh, another really pretty instrumental! I think the seven VAs are definitely more comfortable singing as an ensemble here, though it would've been nice to get some more harmonies... -> Lyrically: 10/10 They're so sappy but that's what makes it work, especially delivered in all sincerity like this. Something about that last line (and its delivery) feels so earnest. -> Overall: 9/10 I'm just a sucker for whatever genre you call this and Eternal. Also, I really like title callback to S2's play (I don't think it was necessarily intentional, but still).

Spooky Night Parade -> Sonically: 7/10 It's a really fun instrumental. I love the little "hehehee....... trick or treat?" in between choruses and verses. They're just little guys. -> Lyrically: 6/10 Just sort of standard Halloween-y lyrics that don't mean too much. -> Overall: 7/10 it feels more like a novelty song than something I'd listen to regularly.

Magic Moment -> Sonically: 9/10 Oooooh that's a nice instrumental. The swelling dynamics are so satisfying, the vocal performances are all lovely. I love that glockenspiel in the back. (At least I think that's what it is.) (I've imagined IK playing it while the brothers perform this before.) -> Lyrically: 9/10 Another "it's so sappy I love it" moment. "I'm so happy I could cry" Like GUYS!! Aw man I love you. They drop three I love yous and they're all great. -> Overall: 10/10 I know the maths doesn't add up but I just really like this song.

Anniversary -> Sonically: 8/10 Strong instrumental, but I feel like the delivery on the raps in the first verse are a little lacking? Asmo and Belphie's verses feel incredibly satisfying for whatever reason. Though Belphie(?)'s little "come on baby" at the end just makes me laugh. I feel like the chorus could've benefited from splitting the brothers up a little (at least for the first two) rather than having them all sing at once. I love hearing them all talk to each other at the beginning, like a behind-the-curtain moment. -> Lyrically: 9/10 "We can't live without you" AWWWWWWWW -> Overall: 9/10 Feels nostalgic even though it came out this year. Another one where the overall rating is based on pure vibes and feeling

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TRIWORLDS

All the Feels -> Sonically: 10/10 Certified banger. Is it something about Barbatos? (His "one more time" in the final chorus is kinda hype.) Feel like there could've been more variety in the instrumental, though. -> Lyrically: 8/10 The verses feel more personal to the characters than in e.g. It's My Party, but the chorus is still pretty basic. It's a little upsetting that one of Barbatos's lines here has more depth to it than most of his characterisation thus far. I find it really funny that they call the listener "buddy." Probably would've been too weird for Luke to say "honey". Also, the "We are dancing, we are dancing (uh, uh)" bridge is so dumb (in a cute and funny way) -> Overall: 10/10 Just a great song to listen to (and imagine choreography to.)

#obey me #does this warrant character tags? they are sort of relevant #obey me belphegor #obey me leviathan #obey me lucifer #obey me satan #obey me simeon #obey me barbatos #obey me diavolo #yeah i'll just leave it there

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the-uninformed-zennial · 7 months ago

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Okay so I listened to “It’s Time” (the Icarus inspired song from my first Fable album), and I’m actually really surprised with how well it lines up with Icarus’ arc throughout the entire series, but especially their finale.

Like the running lyric of “I don’t want to face my responsibility” or even it’s counterpart, “I don’t wanna face all of reality”, is just like- huh?? What?? Why does that actually fit so perfectly with the end of season 3 and the whole Icarus having to take up the mantle of Quixis thing??

And then, and then the whole “but it’s time” thing in the chorus. Like, I just imagined Icarus singing that to Rae at the end and I just cried a little.

Anyway Sherbert’s character design for Icarus was really cool and I have no idea how the song I wrote a year prior predicted the future, but um yeah. Yay! I think?

#I am just so confused #but also happy #cause yeah!! I nailed it #but also huh?? I nailed it???#anyway go watch Fable smp it was a wonderful Series with good character development and plots and things #fable smp #mcytblr #fablesmp #icarus morningstar #fables from the smp #mcyt #songwriting

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bisnes-socks · 3 months ago

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stephanie

hehehe i loved this song so much i'm so happy. i was worried going in, because the mixing kinda killed bluza for me, but this one was mixed to perfectiooooon mwah.

first of all, hello brit rock, hello alex turner vocals, hello nostalgia!

the song beginning with the drum beat had me paying attention to that, and it's a really cool, innovative base for this sound! i love how decorated the percussions are, so many little details, pings and pangs building the drum part and making it interesting. and that they're not afraid to add effects to the drums! the little 80's vibe frum fill right before "and then a lightning strike just fills the place" is so fun. once again hats off to jure on this one, i talked about him a lot in my first šta bih ja analysis and he's truly an excellent drummer in my opinion.

this song has such an interesting structure me. i love that it doesn't have a super obvious verse chorus verse chorus structure. the way the song is built feels very much like a storytelling vibe to me. and i love love love LOVE how at the very end, the music/melody and the vocals go like out of sync. the syncopated vocals are so delicious so interesting and super skilled songwriting. the musical details in this are so cool and there are so many, i have to keep listening to find them all. (i'm writing this in a hurry just to get my initial thoughts down, might do a deep dive into the musical aspects later.)

now i know i made fun of bojan earlier today and that was a joke, because i do have serious thoughts about the lyrics as well.

i think this song is basically about how he romanticises people, places and things. i think he knows that, and i think maybe, since this was originally meant to be a happy song, maybe it was originally meant to celebrate the fact that he sees so much good in people, that he finds people so fascinating and how much he loves making connections. but maybe on the day he wrote the lyrics, being such a... well, puppy of a person (and i genuenly say that with nothing but love, because it's an admirable quality) felt heavy. it's draining, to feel so intensly so easily.

i don't think the lines at the end, about love and happiness not being meant for people like him, are meant to be taken 100% seriously - or at least i think they are meant to be taken in the context of a specific moment and a specific feeling. i think the song very much recognises love is everywhere in his life, but feeling the spark of a specific type of love, only to have it die before you even get to explore what it could mean, is a moment of angst, and the lyrics rise from that moment.

i think everything about this song feels like a moment in time, a moment in the past. the sound is so nostalgic, i think on purpose, the lyrics are in past tense, the voice is edited in a way that makes it sound like it was recorded on an older system or through a phone or something, just the whole package, it gives this vibe of him remembering stephanie, and even though he's moved on, it's a moment of remembering the past and recognising that moment as something substantial. this just has that vibe of a song "about the one that got away" and it's gone now, but it's okay to feel a bit angsty about it on a friday night alone in your bed.

but things in the music, like a lot of the synth details, bring this playful, optimistic and positive sound into the song. and that gives me the sense that he's over it, she's a beautiful memory, and yeah sometimes he's bitter about it a little bit, angsty about it. but she's a story now. a beautiful story that means something to him, but just a story after all. i don't see it as a sad story, i see it as a story of myriad emotions. it's very much.. life.

bonus: i'm so sorry i know it's a heartfelt song and like i said i genuenly love it!! but i cannot help that it reminds me of carol brown by flight of the conchords

#joker out

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rora-dolphinheart · 4 months ago

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I come close to crying every time I listen to OTTD on Spotify.

In 2018 I was on a roadtrip during one of the worst years of my life. My only consolation was in music. I had the Star Stable Friends app and was listening to the official songs from Lisa Peterson and others. And I thought, “Man, it would be cool to make music for Star Stable one day.” And then immediately felt more depressed because I knew it wouldn’t happen.

When I wrote OTTD, I knew it would never leave Tumblr. That it was destined to stay this little verse and chorus that wasn’t even finished. That it wouldn’t grow past an acoustic demo on my phone.

I am a very apprehensive person. I expect bad things. I rarely expect good. I don’t think of myself as pessimistic, just prepared for disappointment. But after this year and this journey, I am starting to realize I may be a bit pessimistic.

Because when SSE said yes, they would publish the song, I didn’t believe it. For nine months, despite going through the whole process, I was holding my breath, expecting the rug to be ripped out from underneath me. Even the night it was released, I was half convinced I had made it up, that I’ve been tricking myself for nine months.

Now that it’s out, now that a version of it is in game, now that I’ve heard the full bardcore version, I’m finally letting myself believe it. That I didn’t make it up. That it really happened. The dream I wrote off my whole life growing up on SSO, to be a part of the game, to leave my mark in such an integral part of my childhood, it happened even when I didn’t believe in it. Because other people believed in me, and I trusted them.

I guess the point of this is two-fold. One, good things can happen, even when you are certain they won’t. Two, when you struggle to dream for yourself, surround yourself with good people who dare you to dream, who push you to chase the ones you casually mention in midnight VCs. I keep saying this because it’s true, this would not have happened without all the people who came along for the journey and encouraged me.

You all gave me the courage to dare to dream. So thank you.

#sso #ssoblr #ode to the headless horseman

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daz4i · 1 year ago

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but the good news is i finally finished working on the lyrics of a song i started in the 7th of august

in 2022

looking for rhyme ideas while working on a wip and getting jumpscared by my own deadname being suggested on the list

#(i wrote like one bit then left it alone until now bc i didn't know how to finish it)#i ended up going for a different vibe than what i originally intended for it and I'm a bit disappointed #bc the original idea was interesting but i have a hard time writing anything interesting these days (or at all lol)#(last time i started writing new lyrics was in. september. yeowch)#still the end result is nice bc i already have some sort of tune for it #idk how good it is... like if it was an actual song i wouldn’t listen to it often if at all #but i like that it's unique. it has no chorus actually. just 3 long verses #and they're made... run on sentences i wanna say? with words connecting unrelated stuff which i think is cool #idk if others will find it cool also. i mean some surely will. but. yeah #i don't wanna record a draft rn but I'm scared I'll forget the melody ajdkflg wish me luck 😩#(most of my more well made tunes get stuck in my head p quick so hopefully this one will too)

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viola-halogen · 9 months ago

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Ok I already wrote this out in my notes but I thought I’d post a compilation of some of my thoughts/things I noticed about Hadestown when I saw it in London.

Firstly I mentioned in this post a thought I had during Doubt Comes In about Orpheus being injured after Papers and that making it harder to walk out of Hadestown

Secondly GENDER NEUTRAL HERMES IS ELITE. I loved that they were actually referred to with they/them pronouns a couple of times. Also Orpheus saying “excuse me Hermes” instead of “Mister Hermes” like. This boy is so polite.

Dónal Finn was absolutely devastating during Is It True. Like the way he just SOBBED “is this how the world is?” gave me intense chills

Multiple times during When The Chips are down Eurydice seems to be pleading with Hermes to tell her what to do, but Hermes just doesn’t respond. It really showcased how they can only tell the story, they can’t influence it

Also during Why We Build The Wall Hermes is the only character who isn’t singing—they’re just standing there the whole time stony-faced and silent despite at points Hades singing directly at them like he’s trying to get a rise out of them. Like it portrays so well how Hermes is outside of the story and also how they’re mourning it and have been since they started telling it.

Just in general Melanie la Barrie did such a good job portraying the tragedy of Hermes and being the powerless narrator

Zachary James was made for the role of Hades. His voice was incredible and his physical acting was so enjoyable to watch.

Also His Kiss, The Riot was incredible. Probably on par with Stewart Clarke’s Javert’s Suicide

After Why We Build The Wall Hades walked over to Persephone and touched her arm and she flinched and shoved him off and it was a really powerful moment because for the whole song Persephone is like a wall herself and in that moment you see the cracks in her composure

During Epic III after Hades hears The Melody he rushes over to try and subdue the workers and is physically taken aback when he realised he doesn’t have power over them anymore

Also at the end of Epic III when Hades finally sang The Melody Persephone burst into tears and Oh My God

Hades and Persephone’s dance was so dorky and sweet in They Danced and honestly Zachary James’s Hades was just so dorky in his more human moments. Peak endearingly awkward old people.

During Orpheus’s parts of Doubt Comes In the stage is completely dark with only him lit so that we can’t see Eurydice either and even we’re not actually sure if she’s there

I love all the ways in which they make the audience complicit in the story. Like obviously there’s the “we’re gonna sing it again” motif and like, by nature of us being there we’re part of the reason the story’s getting told again

But also in Epic III the audience laughs when Hades says “oh, it’s about me” and that’s what makes Orpheus lose his nerve and have to be encouraged by Hermes

Also when Hermes tells Orpheus and Eurydice “you’re gonna have to prove it before gods and men” they gesture to Hades, Persephone and the Fates as the Gods and then to the audience as the men. Like it just cements how we have a role to play as Orpheus’s audience, the thing that gives him his power

Which also makes me think (even though it probably wouldn’t work) how cool it would be if in Our Lady of the Underground the audience was expected to join in on the chorus lines (when Persephone sings “brother what’s my name?”)

#hadestown #hadestown uk #hadestown west end

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astrangetorpedo · 3 months ago

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Julien Baker on learning to articulate joy

by t. cole rachel 2/3/17

“I’m always afraid that the public will scorn songs about happiness out of a disbelief that it is genuine.”

Are you working on a record now? What’s happening?

I am, but I’m always working on songs no matter what. You can’t not be working on a project if writing is how you go about compartmentalizing your life. Everything that happens, every feeling that you have, becomes work. Since the end of 2015—and keeping in mind all the life changes that year occasioned—I was writing quite a bit. I saw a latent theme start to develop, and then I was like, “Oh, well let’s pursue this.” I now have a really good idea of what I want the next record to be conceptually. I think I can be more intentional with it in presentation, if not necessarily in construction. It’ll probably be sonically similar, because that’s the style in which I write.

The stillness of songwriting—knowing when to stop and just be still—is often the most difficult part of songwriting for me. Knowing when it’s enough. Sometimes I think, “Wow, wouldn’t it be cool if we had, like, a full string quartet and a horn section here, making this into an opera?” but then that doesn’t serve the song. You know? Lyrically, I think, it’s better to be thoughtful instead of just vomiting it out.

I’m about to do something dorky, so I apologize. One of my favorite quotes about creativity is from Wordsworth who says something like, “Poetry is the spontaneous overflow of emotions reflected upon in tranquility.” I think that really accurately represents the dichotomy of writing songs for me, especially with my particular writing style. It’s like, “All right, I have an emotion.” I’ll then go out to my garage and vomit out a song that’s essentially just me singing my feelings out loud. This time around I’m doing a lot more refining. Sprained Ankle was really, really raw. Which isn’t to say that’s always a bad thing—it suited that record and those songs—but this time around I’m happy to have more time with it.

That record seemed to come out of the blue and catch people by surprise. How does it feel to be making music with the knowledge that there is an audience now that is anticipating it? Does that change things?

I’ve heard myself say something in the past that isn’t totally precise, suggesting that I made Sprained Ankle only for me. Admittedly, it’s a very self-involved record that’s specific to my own experiences that I wrote as a tool, as a coping mechanism primarily, for what was happening in my life at that point. That’s how I’ve always used music. I grew up writing songs in punk bands and we would have the same conversation regularly, “Oh, this is going to be rad when we play it at a show!” You would imagine people singing along and yelling out the chorus. So you have something that you’re not only trying to say for yourself because you need to say it, but also that you’re saying to the world, even if the world in your schema is this small community... even if your audience is just a basement.

Now that I know the audience is a bit broader, I can’t help but think about that sometimes. Still, the best songs are the ones I just let happen. What is that Rilke quote? That he’s not a creator of art, he’s just a midwife to it? That’s how I like to feel. How I approach making songs isn’t totally different. Often it’s just when something difficult happens to me or I’m stressed out, I’ll just sit down and say whatever my fears are. I’ve been perpetually trying to come to terms with doing Sprained Ankle live for a year, because I’ve moved on from those specific experiences. The emotions, maybe, are evergreen in a sense because you’re always going to have fresh heartbreak at some point in your life. You’re going to have self-doubt, but it feels weird to still be singing about them years after the fact. One of the challenges about playing live has been finding new ways to apply old sentiments.

I always talk about the song “Good News.” I started to get really bothered that I was having conversations with people who listen to my music who said, “That song made me feel better!” but then I’m sitting up there screaming, “I ruin everything I do.” That’s not the kind of self-deprecating rhetoric or mentality that I want to promote. However, it’s also false to pretend like no one ever has these feelings, because people have those feelings all the time and that’s a very real thing. There’s a balance of not having an artifice of hope, but still writing songs that are honest about how I feel inside, which isn’t always great. I finally made a sort of concession with myself about it, so now before I play that song I’ll say, “This song is about when I thought I ruined everything, and now I’m trying to learn that that’s not true.”

It is cheesy and nine times out of ten I wince at myself on stage when I do it, but it’s like I have to do it in order to prove that it’s true, that I mean it. So, with these new songs—particularly the ones that were written about a relationship ending a year ago and I wrote over a year ago—I had to think about what it will mean to play them live and how that might feel. They are thematically appropriate for the record, which will be released in 2017, and obviously I’ve moved on and that’s an amicable situation right now, but it’s still a funny thing. I think I’ve been exploring the stigmatization around mental health and being open and honest about feelings, because that’s basically been my job. Everybody in this music scene is a little bit, I don’t want say “messed up” because that implies there’s something wrong with you, but we all feel a little messed up and maybe that’s why we do art.

I recently read this Alain de Botton book and it changed my life. He said that “Art is there for you when love stops being there for you.” I was like, “Oh my gosh, true.” Yeah, so being honest about those really dark things, like saying, “I feel disappointing, I feel like I’m nothing,” is important. I think about that when I start to censor myself. That was why I ended up leaving “Rejoice” on my previous record. Sometimes you need to inhabit an idea or a feeling in order to transcend it. The thing that you’re most afraid is the very thing you have to be bravest about divulging.

It seems like a more more popular human compulsion, particularly among songwriters, to document our own darkness than it is to articulate happiness. As someone who is known for writing beautifully sad songs, what do you make of that?

I remember a comment someone made about Ben Gibbard from Death Cab for Cutie: “Oh, he got happier and stopped writing good songs.” I was like, “What a grotesque thing to say.” How awful is it that our culture is geared in such a way. I think there’s inherent worth in all art and I never criticize the formal quality of art as long as there is genuine emotion there, but we’ll tolerate all kinds of cheesy heartbreak-related art just because of the subject matter. It’s much more difficult to pull off a joyful song. I’m always afraid that the public will scorn songs about happiness out of a disbelief that it is genuine. I’m interested in talking about joy, but it’s difficult and you don’t want to be clumsy with it. I think of it more as, “I have joy.” That’s a really complex thing to unpack. But I think articulating joy is important. I’m thinking of songs by people like the B-52s. There is this Australian artist called Alex Lahey who was a song where the chorus is just, “Let’s go out and have fun tonight.” It’s almost like you can hear the tongue-in-cheek irony of there’s mundanity in the grind of life and then this person is writing a song that’s just parodying a go-out-party song. It’s really cool.

It’s like it’s somehow less embarrassing to have an emotional meltdown in public than it is to be really honest about your happiness in a non-ironic way.

I think what’s so crazy is that for so many people I know—myself included—it’s this thing of when you’re acutely aware of the suffering of everything around you, it seems like happiness is a lack of decorum. Does that make sense?

For me, 2016 was a lot about learning, both good things and bad. I’m learning a lot about joy—joy as something different from happiness. Because happiness is a temporary space, an emotion, but joy, I think, is something different. It’s like a disposition that you choose to adopt. It’s all right to allow yourself that. I read a lot of philosophy, so I’m always thinking things like, “I want to be the platonic ideal of a human and do what is ethically asked of me by my existence.” Maybe that means not only writing sad songs. Maybe that means expressing joy. I’m still learning how to do that.

We went on a tour and I was reading Ethics by Bonhoeffer because I am a huge nerd and I was just like, “I’ll never be a good person.” Then one of my good friends was like, “Do you think God hates joy?” I was like, “No I don’t, I don’t think God hates joy.” She said, “So, if you have everything to be happy about, why won’t you display that as an image of hope instead of a depiction of suffering, because you can’t get on stage and talk about hope if you have no hope. You can’t go on stage and talk about joy as a destination—not just an unachievable goal—if you have no joy, so let yourself have joy.” You know how sometimes people say a simple explanation to you for something and you feel like a total idiot? I was just like, “I guess you’re right.”

I still struggle with anxiety. For the longest time on tour I would have panic attacks before almost every show. Performing is scary, and there’s a lot going on in there—”in there” being my brain. So while we were on tour in Australia it felt like I was always waiting for another shoe to drop, and when it didn’t I felt like I could just cherish the fact that I’m legitimately enjoying what is happening in my life and I’m excited to talk to people.

I can be a positive force. I can interact with people and I don’t look like a brooding crazy person. I’m smiling, I’m happy, and I’m getting to hug them. There was one show in particular where I was starting a song that there was a girl in the front of the stage who yelled out, “This is my song!” I thought it was funny because I’d only ever heard someone say that when they were at a bar and a song came on the jukebox, but I loved that she said that. I had this really cheesy thought like, “You know what? It is.” It’s not mine anymore. I was like, “It is your song, girl. This is for you. I hope you enjoy it.” She was stoked. Instead of feeling guilty that people like my music or feeling like I don’t deserve it or I haven’t earned it, I’m just happy that my job is that I stand on a stage and I look out on a whole bunch of eyeballs and we get to share this thing.

After the whirlwind success of Sprained Ankle, was it weird to finally be home again and working on music? My biggest fear is that anyone thinks that I’m anything other than amazed and grateful that I get to be a musician. Like, every day I wake up astonished by that. I think generally the amount of reward you get in your occupation mirrors the amount of sacrifice it requires. I needed to take some time to not be a ghost in my real life, to see my family and visit my partner, and just be radio silent for a while.

I write a lot on tour, which is weird because I used to think I couldn’t get into the right head space on tour to write songs, but then eventually touring just becomes your norm and I really have to be writing, so you just adapt. I’ll make little voice memos in the car and listen to them and write lyrics while I’m walking around. Once I got back home I rented this studio space and did a whole bunch of demos. We spent almost 12 hours in the studio every day. Hearing the demos outside of my head was really good for me. I’d been worrying myself by thinking, what if the new songs are too different? What if they are too much the same? What if everyone is disappointed? I felt the weight of expectation start to make me afraid that I couldn’t do it. I was, “It’s all going to be crap, everyone’s going to hate it.” Then once I got into the recording process things changed.

I was recording with my friend Calvin Lauber, who is in a band from Memphis called Pillow Talk. He’s in the scene and I’ve known him since I was 13 years old, and he happens to do recording and engineering as well as just play around in bands. It felt just so comfortable that I lost track of the hours and it was kind of like one of those moments, “Oh yeah, I love just the process of making art and I could stay here for another 12 hours just experimenting and, like, shaping this thing.” It brought me back to the reason why I ever did this in the first place. You have to be able to reconnect to the joy of making the thing that you make. It’s easy to get distracted from that.

I was so grateful that I felt comfortable enough to come back and make my music in Memphis. I moved back here at the beginning of the year to be closer to my family. I love my city. I have, like, Drake levels of love for my city. It felt good to be here. Once the demos were done and I was listening back to some of it, I had this weird feeling. I’m hyper-critical of my own work, which most artists probably are, but I had the strange sensation of thinking,“This is how it feels to be proud of something that I made.” I realized that as long as I am proud and I feel like I say what I want to with the narrative of this record, I am able to separate myself from being so concerned with, “What if people hate it?” Even if they hate it, I’ll still know that I’ve done my best. It’s all such a fifth grade classroom poster—Just Do Your Best!—but that’s truly the best and most profound advice.

Given the nature of your music, do people project a kind of “tortured artist” thing onto you? And how do you circumvent that?

When I’m on stage I try to think about things before I just rush in and say something silly... but I’m also quite silly. That being said, I’m not a Lorde or a Taylor Swift. I’m not someone who is playing stadiums and who has all these eyeballs on them. I don’t think I’m expected to be a role model. I’m not at that level. Still, people often take the slices of life represented in the songs and expand that to represent my total personhood. I think another task of mine is unifying Julien of life with Julien of the record, which often entails saying dorky, cheesy, positive things and making bad jokes on stage. Sometimes it goes over well, sometimes it’s like crickets in the audience and people are like, “What’s going on? This is too much of an emotional pendulum!” and they look freaked out. Then I just play my songs instead of making more lame jokes. I think merely by existing and refusing to give in to the persona of brooding tortured artist, you prove the point of you do not have to be sad all the time. You do not have to be defined by your sadness. I think about these things when I write songs and when I play live shows. I am trying to break the spell, in some way, that when you see someone up on stage singing sad songs that there is more to them than that. Sometimes you can’t help but be perceived as a kind of persona, but why not be a persona that’s actually realistic? I’d rather do that, instead of just posing over here in the window sill with my copy of Rilke and looking really bummed out. That isn’t me.

Recommended by Julien Baker:

Things that are inspiring to me right now...

The novel Gilead by Marilynne Robinson (a recommendation from the ever-wise Lucy Dacus)

The poetry of Beyza Ozer, a poet recommended by Morgan Martinez, editor of Hooligan Mag (an inspiring person in her own right)

The art of Kazuo Shiraga

The bands PWR BTTM and Camp Cope; their music, their social commentary, their unapologetic commitment to change through art, honestly just them as people, all of it

The paintings and zines of Ariel Baldwin, great pal/Memphis-native/Chicago-resident, makes some really provocative and powerful art about healing.

(x)

#found this in my drafts from june??#a really phenomenal interview btw #and a lucy mention of course #julien baker #2017 #february 2017 #interviews #the creative independent #archival

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