#but I worry that’s Too specific or exclusionary so idk just imagine what you want. my f/o is getting me Ibuprofen <3

[princelythirsts]

happy disability pride month to proship self shippers <3

Idk if people celebrate this in any way but your f/o’s would love to support you through it, whether you want to make it a special occasion or just hang out like it’s any other month

[drdemonprince]

your most recent article on asexuality& fetish touched upon some stuff i'd been thinking about for a long time now. (getting some more... hands on experience would help a lot, but queer(adjacent) avenues are... not kind to trans women doing that, but that's a story for another time.) especially the distinction between kink and fetish was one i'd not seen people make before which made me realize some of my stuff is definitely much more in the latter category.

poppers for one. i have an inexplicable liking for them (and much more that isn't pertinent here). which in itself is not an issue, but i'm not sure i'm liking that i like them. sometimes i feel they're a bit too... idk, it's not addiction, but more my relationship with them is kinda problematic, even though i'm very moderate in my partaking :/

Thanks for your message, anon. And I'm sorry that you haven't found avenues for exploring your fetishes more. It's true that a lot of queer spaces are really hostile to trans women. But please do not give up hope. Steer clear of the theyfabby wlw spaces, but if you are into women, keep you eye out for the ones that are more self-consciously transfemme organized and inclusive. Here in Chicago there's Strapped, for instance, a lesbian night run by lesbian trans women of color. Lots of furry and pup spaces tend to be less trans exclusionary and more gender diverse in general. There's lots of kinky trans women on Grindr specifically to find other trans women. I don't want to be pollyannaish or downplay how hard these things genuinely are, but I don't want you to give up hope either. There are people out there like you and increasingly more spaces to choose from. I hope you can find something near you that is worth giving a try.

Now onto the poppers question. If you're moderate in your usage, why do you dislike that you like them? Does it impede your life in any way? Is the primary problem (if I'm picking up on it correctly) that you kind of fear how much you like them, and that you worry that it could become addictive one day? Or that you feel you're using them in too escapist of a way? Or is shame about what turns you on?

Poppers are just about the mildest mind-altering substance imaginable; it's been used to treat period cramps and other similar health issues for decades and used to be available over the counter without much of an issue. (Leo Herrera's writing about the history of poppers is really good). And as highs go, it's over in an instant with almost no lingering negative effects. There are some conditions it doesn't mix well with, and there are some shitty brands out there that cause headaches, but I imagine that if using it was damaging your health in any way you would have mentioned it. So why is being turned on by them an issue for you?

If you want a cleaner headrush, there is always weed or hypnosis. But for a quick burst of euphoria and muscle relaxation without any hangover, poppers kinda can't be beat. Perhaps the best question is what has made you not like that you like them?