#but I think he's more likely to kill Lizzie than either of the boys

[smoozie]

Did not just watch a full episode of Wild Life in which both of Grian's teammates desperately try to get kills and both end up on red despite (and often because of) their effort, for you guys to keep saying Scar and Jimmy are getting eliminated next episode.

Jimmy has five fucking kills man. He's doing GREAT!! I know that people are attached to the canary curse, and this is Wild Life so I understand anything can happen, but come on. I will admit I don't have high hopes for Jimmy, but I really think people are selling him short this season.

Yeah Scar failed like eight traps this session, but he's still doing well. Ya know why? Because he's good at taking advantage of a situation. That man has six kills on Etho alone for a reason. Do none of you remember last season when Gem attacked Scar early on during the boogeyman apocalypse because she thought he would be an easy kill, and she had to RETREAT because he did too much damage on her?!?

The worst part is that no one is even claiming Jimmy and Scar are in danger for reasonable things, like the fact that Grian (who has the HIGHEST kill count in the series) has just declared them his number one enemies. Everyone is acting like they're both just going to throw themselves off cliffs three times next episode. Like yeah they can both be reckless players but they aren't stupid. They know to stay safe on red. Scar especially performs well on red. (He is a LOT like Joel)

Speaking of which! The Bamboozlers have happily made an alliance with the Family. Two of the strongest pvp players on the server. "But Jimmy killed Joel" yeah and Joel congratulated him because he thought it was a good kill. Scar and Lizzie have had alliances with the Family for a while, now that Jimmy's green there's no bad blood between them. And while I don't think Gem or Joel are gonna die saving any Bamboozlers (well, Joel might for Lizzie), having them on their side may slightly deter Grian's posse considering their desperate attempts on the Family's lives this episode.

POINT BEING: The Bamboozlers are ALL in a really good place at the end of this episode. Their whole team is green, they've secured an alliance with the Family, and they're all competent players. Y'all should be really worried about Mumbo right now. I'm worried about Mumbo.

[thecoolerliauditore]

big post now that the adrenaline is cooled down a bit. thoughts on each team so far.

overall: ohh I really didn't think I would be enraptured again I really didn't think I would be. Like don't get me wrong I'm not one for wanting the series to end or anything but I was very, very happy about the year long break after Secret Life because it was feeling like quite a lot of content to the point where it was overwhelming.

That break was crucial, I think, to the vibes since I don't know if it's just me but the players just feel like they have so much more energy and excitement for the new season. Etho and Mumbo especially are so quirky this session.

The new mechanic is. shrugs. Really no way to judge it yet seeing as we've pretty much barely seen what it can entail. The fact that everyone has six lives though is making me think some of them are gonna be crazy in future sessions cus that's a ridiculously generous number otherwise and I assume Grian doesn't intend for this season to be twice Third Life's length.

EIGHTEEN PLAYERS! EIGHTEEN PLAYERS! Lizzie, Mumbo, Rendog, Gem 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹 I don't have much to add I'm just so happy we're finally getting a season with All of Them. Rendog Ren Ren Diggity Dawg I'm so happy. I'm so happy.

The lag on the server looks um ..... ? Aternos lookin ass. I hope it doesnt impact them too much beyond this episode and they get that fixed cus whoagh that is um bad. Joel being soooo fucking angry about it is so funny please never change Joel.

~

Renwood Mound: First of all horrid name but I would be disappointed by anything less sexually suggestive. Second of all please check up on your Treebark mutuals this is a difficult time. Refeeding syndrome might just kill a couple of you I'm so sorry.

I'm not a big Ren/Martyn understander but my dash has been more celebrating their reunion than crying tears of anguish like the other toxic rebounds (ethubs, tango, pearl) that have popped up so I can only assume it's going to be okay we're all gonna make it.

If they do stay as a duo this season is going to be crazy for Martyn specifically I think. He's already gotten the betrayal he wants, he's already achieved the villainous role he so wants to play, and now it's just him and Ren together with no Dogwarts to lead. I genuinely have no idea where this one will go. o7

~

BAM Boys: I really hope the "boys" part stays in the name despite Lizzie joining them at the end for my very specific Lizzie headcanons. It would tickle me.

Anyway we're finally freed from the grasps of blue man and get the Scar/Jimmy team up this time with added Lizzie flavour. I'm very excited and like. I've seen a lot of people doubting this team will go far which confuses me because I don't know if you guys are aware but Scar won last season. And Lizzie, despite her early death in SL, really is no pushover either (she had one of the highest body counts in LL and I wish more people talked about that).

Scar specifically is in a great spot with pretty much full diamond armour already. He gets all giddy while mining and says to himself something like "ooh I get to share some with Jimmy!" which is so sweet to me.

Scar remaking the reputation board from Third Life is actually insane. What is he doing.

All this to say I think this team looks wholesome and I'm optimistic for their future. This could be Jimmy's Mounders. Or it could be Fairy Fort 2 idk let's see.

~

I think Bigb's possessed again.

~

The Hobbits(???): Hilarious to me that they stole Flower Husbands' original branding. Anyway Grumbo is back idk if I know them well enough to make a statement but I'm mentally chucking them into the toxic rebound box in my head just to get the number up.

This is the POV I've seen the least of but they seem fun. I wonder if being out of the horrific environment that was the Southlanders will do any good for Grumbo's relationship. Skizz being there also tends to bring the mood up 400% (unless it's Dogwarts).

~

Joel & Gem: IM SO EXCITED. This is pretty much the Bdubs/Joel team-up I wanted originally but now we get Ethubs too which is even more awesome for me. Very cringe take from me but they are both shounen anime.

Despite what Scott says I really don't think they'll "spontaneously combust". They're both high energy and aggressive but historically loyal to the people who accept them, the sample rate for Gem is not exactly scientifically viable but. Vaguely gestures to all of Secret Life.

I kind of wanna see Gem kill Pearl.

~

Whatever the fuck the Ethubs + Tango team is called: Why.

No like seriously Tango I thought you hated these bitches why are you third wheeling them. He's also surprisingly Bdubspilled like he sides with him on the horse thing and tries to warn Bdubs about Etho lying later. Like, don't get me wrong I really don't think Tango has spite for Bdubs comparable to like. Pearl for Scott for example but he certainly isn't fond of him after he um Fucking Murdered Him and was completely unapologetic.

I'm not really a Tango guy so I can't speak on what's going on inside his head regarding that it's just. Interesting to observe. At least the brief ranchers interaction was cute (and really funny to see in the background of ethubs yelling at eachother).

Anyway Ethubs are insane. It's so funny to me that their horse argument literally lasted an entire in game day.

It's fun for me specifically because I always viewed Secret Life as somewhat of a soft end/reboot point for the series for multiple reasons - the year long hiatus, scars win bookending things really well, pearl and scotts arcs wrapping up (oh how naive) and, of course, the conclusion ethubs reached.

I think I've made a post before about how beautiful of an ending SL is for Ethubs. The distance allowing them to overcome their own personal issues with Bdubs learning he's capable and to care for people who aren't himself or Etho and Etho learning relationships don't have to be minefields, leading into HC10 where Bdubs moves into the rural countryside away from everything and Etho hanging out with his new coworkers at the post office. They can still talk and visit, of course, but the time away from eachother does them wonders and adds a bit of hope for how they will be in the future.

So how should I even fucking feel about Etho pulling a Limited Life and almost killing Bdubs for a prank. Or Etho asking Bdubs what he's done for him. Or Etho in general being a little shit about the horse thing and Bdubs being equally stubborn.

Bdubs even kinda?? Talks like they're a couple who've gone to therapy with the "I should express how I feel and how I feel is.." and the way he catches himself when he's halfway through yelling. Like I'm not insane you guys hear it too right.

Like don't get me wrong I'm very stuck in my ways of insisting Ethubs isn't really toxic, at least not anymore, but I can totally see someone else being horrified by them and I would cheer them on for it. This episode is especially going to be horrible for that person. At least for me it seems like Bdubs' character development is very real i.e. him rejecting Etho's chestplate with the classic "I can take care of myself", a stark contrast to LL/DL Bdubs and he bites back when Etho is weird.

I have hope for Ethubs is what I'm trying to say and it's totallyyyy not because they're my first ship and I'm biased. I need to figure out what's wrong with Etho and why he's doing this. I saw a post that theorized Etho wanted Bdubs to get mad at him and kill him this season which I'm rotating a bit but I'll have to keep watching. Ethubs girls we're in for it we really are. Tango girls I'm um sorry.

~

PICS / the Islanders: My 13th reason why.

Trying to not repeat too much here from whatever happened to me emotionally last night but this is what hell looks like. It's what I expected but like. DAMN. I wasn't expecting it to be. That bad.

Seeing a lot of people say that the team is just. Pearl, The Horrors and Impulse who is just 🧍‍♂️and I don't think that's completely wrong or anything however ☝️I must say that Impulse continues to frighten me and him being here is making me personally shake like a chihuahua. Like I can't really explain his character if you put a gun to my head I just think the guy might have some issues communicating emotions and prefers to hold grudges/be passive aggressive like with the psychological horror that was the impdubs DL POV and I can't imagine him being particularly Good for Pearl. Also he's done several insane things in the past e.g. the Bdubs grudge, laughing at Tango when he tries to kill himself in SL, being excited(??) for gem to kill him in SL, trying to kill Skizz in SL wow wait maybe it's just proximity to gem and scott that fucks this guy up. Idk though I don't trust his ass.

Anyway. Yes like we are all Martyn Inthelittlewooding it up for Pearl in here. I have so many somewhat misogynistic fantasies in my head about her being saved by Gem or Bdubs or Joel or Bigb for that matter. Emotionally that's what I would want. HOWEVER I don't think that would actually be anything that would help Pearl in fact I think she'd just run back to her team because she's loyal like that. So now I kind of just want to see the consequences of her actions. Whittle her down to nothing 💥💥💥💥💥It would break me it genuinely would.

Cleo fucking catching herself and correcting "trauma" to "damage" mid sentence is insane can we kill. can we kill them.

So yeah um I'm excited for this season

[ivys-garden]

OK, so (dam I say that alot) False won the Poll for most wanted Lifer, but I've been thinking

What would it be like if she was there from the start?

3rd Life - She probably just stays out of any teams, like most people in 3rd life. At some point though I imagine she'd join Dogwarts, fighting with them when the war starts. I don't imagine she'd win in this season just due to the fact no one knew what to expect this season to be at the time.

Last Life - due to the boogie man and all the traps around the server it's likely that False would be Overly paranoid for most of the season, her pillars of safety would be all over the world (a Boogie Man would probably fishing rod her off one at some point). I imagine she'd probably end up joining the Faerie Fort, probably having a rivalry with Cleo when they leave (or maybe B kills False instead of Cleo and the Faerie Fort stays together until the end, unlikely, but possible) I could see it going either way for False winning this season, she'd definitely be more prepared but she'd also be constantly paranoid, so idk

Double Life - now, for this one I'm going to say one of the people who didn't return from Last Life did return, I'm going to go with Lizzie just because I think that's the most fun option. I imagine the two of them would come up with a lot of “Devious Plots”, they'd probably be helping or Enlisting the help of The Mean Girls for most of them, maybe The Homewreckers too.

That being said if they didn't find each other by the end of session one and they ended up at Martyns lil soulmate game I could easily see the two of them and Pearl sticking together as a team (not that it would change much, Pearl would still do what she did, but still)

False probably doesn't win the season, Martyn or Pearl would be straight for Lizzie in the final fight

Limited Life - I honestly can't see False going with any of the teams. If you forced me I'd say probably Nosy Neighbours but it's more likely that False is a lone wolf (though she'd definitely ally more with The Clockers and Neighbours than Bad Boys or T.I.E.S) I feel like the is the season False has the best chance of winning, she definitely make it to the end and could back stab Martyn while he's killing Impulse.

Secret Life - I imagine False probably goes with Team Besties. Maybe she even convinces Scar or Lizzie to join. She'd definitely be one of the survivors during the zombie task (or she'd die and help the Zombies succeed in killing everyone. She's not Etho she would kill Grian and Cleo). I don't imagine the result would change the season either. It's very task dependent. False might inadvertently get Scar killed with the rest of Team Besties (or she might kill him herself), meaning it's Pearl vs. Gem in the finale, but that's about it.

[ricky-tiki-tah]

Glamrock Freddy Through The Ball Pit Part 2

“Nothing could possibly go wrong!” Famous last words, and nothing at all like what Mike was thinking when he and his friends grabbed Evan in preparation to carry him closer to Fredbear. He was thinking more along the lines of “would you shut the fuck up?!” at the general vicinity of the voice in his head.

“Hey guys, I think he wants to give Fredbear a big ol’ kiss!”

Freddy could only watch as Mike and his friends raised Evan towards the gaping mouth of the golden bear animatronic. “No, that is not safe! Michael, this is not safe!”

Michael faltered slightly, not pushing Evan towards the death trap, but not protesting as his friends kept going.

Freddy was frantic. If he didn’t do something, the poor sobbing little boy would be seriously injured, if not killed. The springlock suits were decidedly not safe. Gathering all his metaphorical strength, the bear tried something he hadn’t even considered before. He pushed.

Everything settled into sharp clarity and to his shock, Freddy was able to pull the little boy towards him. “No! That suit is n-n-not safe to play with like this!”

The other three, Mike’s friends, seemed taken aback by the sudden change in their friend as Freddy sinks to the ground with Evan in his, Michael’s, arms.

“Chill dude!” The Chica masked teen held his hands up in a placating gesture. “Nothing was going to happen!”

“You do not know that!” Freddy responded, pulling Evan closer in a tight hug, hoping to comfort Michael’s younger brother. It didn’t seem to be working.

“What on earth were you thinking?!” Michael’s father, William, rushes forward, scattering Mike’s friends who leave with confused and disgusted looks. “Michael, answer me!”

Freddy blinks, realizing he would have to answer. “It was supposed t-to be a prank.” He says, at a loss as William grabs Evan from him.

William simply looks at him with narrowed eyes before turning towards the entrance of the diner. “Get up and grab your sister, we are leaving.”

Freddy stands, frowning at the tall man before scanning the crowd for the blonde girl. Elizabeth is standing to the side but steps forward when his eyes land on her. He holds out a hand and she takes it silently, a curious look on her face as she studies him while they follow William out of the diner.

(>*v*<)

Mike had zero clue what was happening to him, and he was freaking out. His body was moving on its own, following Father to the car with Lizzie in tow. He could only watch as he piled into the backseat with his siblings, feeling as his face shot a worried look at a quietly sniffling Evan.

Something was very, very wrong.

He watched as his family went home, as his voice quietly asked if Evan was okay, saw Evan frown in confusion before going to his room. He felt as his body sat down on his own bed, looking down at his hands.

“Wha-what’s happening?” He managed to squeak out past his horror. He felt his body jump slightly.

“Oh! Hello, Superstar!” His voice responded, soft enough that he didn’t think anyone outside his bedroom door would be able to hear. “I am… not ac-cutually sure…”

“What?!” Mike squawked. “How do you- who are you?!”

“I am Freddy Fazbear. I am unsure how this has happened. I am sorry if I have caused you any distress.” His voice replied.

Mike blinked, or he would have if he had control of his own eyes. “Freddy? You mean like Fredbear?”

The newly identified Freddy hummed as if thinking it over. “Sort of, but not quite. I am not Fredbear, though I was modeled after his later model.”

Mike had so many questions.

(>*v*<)

It took much longer than either anticipated for Mike to regain control of the body that he now apparently shared with a version of his Uncle Henry’s animatronic. Freddy had been forced to pilot for nearly a week, which they spent in Mike’s room while they tried to figure out how to switch back and forth between who got to be in control.

Mike learned a lot about Freddy in that time. Like how Freddy was apparently something called ‘artificial intelligence’, which Freddy explained meant that he was basically a sentient robot. Which, cool!

Freddy had no idea how any of this had happened however, just explaining to Mike that one moment he was being attacked by bots, and the next he was staring at Mike’s reflection in the mirror.

Freddy also told Mike a lot about his friends at the pizzaplex while staring up at Mike’s bedroom ceiling. He told him about the boy he had met before this whole mess started. Mike personally thought that this Gregory boy would be pretty fun to hang out with, even if he was Lizzie’s age.

Mike in turn, told Freddy about how he was helping Father and Uncle Henry design new versions of Fredbear and SpringBonnie, even adding two new characters to the crew. Mike explained how his favorite new character was Foxy “Because he’s a pirate and I love pirates, and foxes. They always look so soft and fluffy!”

Freddy would smile, just a little sadly, and say that he liked the idea. Secretly, Freddy was glad Chica would get arms instead of wings like Mike’s drawings had shown. His friend would not be able to do as much if she had wings.

There wasn’t a lot of time actually spent on figuring out how to switch body controls, it being both mentally and physically exhausting for both, but after a few days, Mike finally managed it.

Pushing to the front after what felt like years, Mike could hear Freddy cheering in celebration. A “Great job Superstar, I knew you could do it!” putting a wide smile on his face.

After walking around for a while, stretching and getting the hang of doing so himself again, Mike sat back down on his bed.

“Right, Fred, if w-we’re gonna do this, we gotta be able t-to switch back-k n’forth without t-trouble.” Mike paused at the new addition to his speech. He’d never stuttered this much before, why now?

“If you are sure.” Freddy said, an encouraging tone behind his words, before he tried pushing forward again. This time was much smoother and Mike didn’t feel quite as detached as he had before. “That was m-much better! Your turn, Michael!”

Mike tried pushing, as he’d done just a few minutes before, pleasantly surprised when he cut to the front with almost no resistance, Freddy taking a step back at the same time. “Wow!”

“That was much easier.” Freddy voiced what they were both thinking. “It appears that this whole situation will be fairly easy to get used to.”

Mike agreed, though not audibly, as some other noise had caught his attention. “What’s that?”

“It sounds like a child is crying.” Freddy informed him, though Mike could hear it fairly well himself now, having gotten up and opened his bedroom door. The cries sound more like quiet screams now that there is one less door in the way.

“That’s Ev.” Mike whispers to Freddy, walking across the hall to his brother’s door. “Why is he screaming like that?”

Freddy didn’t have an answer, but silently urged Mike to find out.

[lizisshortforlizard]

Living Dangerously - Chapter 34

Jurassic Park’s animal handlers: none of them ever mentioned by name in Michael Crichton’s original novel. Who were they? What were their lives like on Isla Nublar? Did any of them survive the disaster? A year in the life of those responsible for the care of the dinosaurs. Many people would kill to have their jobs. But would they die for it?

Jurassic Park novel/Jurassic Park film (1993)

Viewpoint: 3rd person female oc

Warnings: some swears, some alluded-to goriness

Tagging: @heresthefanfiction @ocappreciation @wordspin-shares @howlingmadlady @arrthurpendragon @themaradwrites @starryeyes2000 @kmc1989 (please lmk if you would like informed of my sporadic updates.)

Read on Ao3

Tarzan Boy - Baltimora

Chapter 33 | Chapter 35

Now, wait just a goddamn minute-

My raptor. Lizzy thought as she wrinkled her nose in offence. Tell her. Mine.

Lori shook Muldoon’s hand first, her mouth twitching in good humour as she looked him up and down. “You’re exactly what I imagined.”

Her gaze then rested on Lizzy. “But you aren’t.”

“Thanks?” She offered. 

“The ethologist from Africa, working as a shit-shoveller.” Lori continued. “Your name’s come up more than once on B.”

“Shut the fff-…ront door.” Lizzy remembered in the nick of time she’d better be polite to this woman, since the future of her raptor could be in someone else’s hands. “Nothing bad, I hope?”

Muldoon snorted quietly. 

“We could use someone like you, actually. Consider this a formal offer.” The embryologist announced. “Think about it.”

“You’re not here to recruit, Ruso. And, anyway, you can’t have her.” Muldoon sounded faintly annoyed. “I need her.”

Lori looked back and forth between her new acquaintances, standing far too close together to be just colleagues. Her eyes widened. Okay, now she got it.

Way, way more than friends. But trying to hide it. That was…intriguing.  

“I’m sure you do.” Lori nodded knowingly, already striding towards the Jeep. “Still pretending I’m just here for a site visit, Robert? Exchange programme?”

“Sort your face out.” Muldoon grumbled to Lizzy once the embryologist was out of hearing range. 

She quickly swapped her furrowed brow for an artificial smile. He recoiled. “Christ, that’s worse.”

***

On the road, Lori was busy complaining about Wu and Hammond, and pointing out all the ways in which Site B was different, and also, superior. Lizzy was quietly stewing in the back seat, pretending to be interested, because Lori had simply gotten into the front passenger side without even asking. That was her spot. 

Formal offer. Think about it.

Oh, I’ve thought about it, all right. She definitely wasn’t keen on Ruso and Muldoon haggling over who got to keep her, like she was some kind of an asset.

Your name’s come up on B.

Lizzy wondered if her reputation was for good science, or if the persistent rumours about her bedside manner had made their way over the water. She’d rather not find out.

Screw you, Ruso. 

Muldoon kept glancing at her in the rear-view mirror as he drove, and Lizzy just shook her head whenever he caught her eye. He might not have been paying any attention to Lori wittering on either, but that didn’t make the situation any less unbearable. 

In a quiet corner of the visitor centre, Lizzy vs Muldoon, Raptor vs Ex-Raptor, descended into chaos in record time. 

Lori made no effort to hide her massive eye-roll, listening to the back-and-forth. It had been less than five minutes. They seemed to have completely forgotten she was even there.

Dr Armstrong kept trying to butt in with how she’d apparently taught the raptor some so-called tricks. Muldoon, who Lori had pinned as the silent type, had plenty to say in counter-argument. He was adamant that ‘heel, down’ was not one of those tricks and never would be.

They were behaving like a married couple. Even their thinly-veiled insults were far too comfortable. Armstrong, though she seemed to be holding back for some unknown reason, was still spouting remarks that Lori wouldn’t dare to even think in front of a superior let. She decided to do the both of them a huge favour. 

“Guys, seriously!” She startled them into silence with her outburst. “What is this?”

“I don’t-“ Lizzy began.

“Look-“ Lori pointed at her. “Unstoppable force.” Then at Muldoon. “Immovable object.” “What happens?” She brought her palms together, mimicking an explosion. “Boom. So, whatever this is? Hurry up and get it over with, honestly. You’ll feel so much better.”

“Get what over with?” Lizzy played dumb, still unsure of whether she could trust Lori. 

“You’re a crappy liar. You know what I’m talking about.” She fixed them both with a stare, as if it were obvious. “Just sleep with him already.”

Lizzy heard a strangled noise, realised it was coming from her own throat, and turned it into a coughing fit.

“Can we get back to the reason you’re here?” Muldoon’s voice became flat and emotionless. “Now.”

“The raptor? Oh, yeah…” Lori shrugged. “I agree with Lizzy.”

”What?” The ethologist was shocked. 

”What.” Muldoon was affronted.

“Ah, ah! Let me explain and you’ll understand why I didn’t want to do this over the phone.” Dr Ruso held up her hands in a panic, trying to quell the park warden-shaped storm brewing. 

“I think you’d better.” Then to Lizzy, who was turning around, mid I-told-you-so. “And you, careful.” 

“Take it from me, InGen is fully capable of ruining both your lives.” Lori dropped the truth bomb. “I’ve had a Hell of a time. But that’s nothing compared to if I’d gone through with it.”

“You..?” Lizzy’s fingernails dug into the edge of her seat. 

“Mh-hmm.” She nodded matter-of-factly. “I had the needle ready, but I chickened out. Then someone told on me.”

“I wasn’t aware of all that.” Even deadpan Muldoon was capable of looking surprised. 

“InGen are playing nice about you two being extremely unprofessional.” She shook her head when both of them opened their mouths to speak. “Believe me, they know.”

She noted with some pleasure that neither of them bothered to deny it. 

“Then why not say something?” Lizzy hadn’t worked for a big company before or ever had to consider business politics. It all seemed like a complicated game. “Why not fire us?”

”I kind of get the impression you’re both extremely good at your jobs.” The compliment didn’t feel genuine. “So, InGen want you to stay right where they can keep a very close eye on you. That’s my logic.”

Lizzy let out a very small oh. 

“Besides, they can do a lot worse than fire you. They could hurt you. If you don’t care about yourself, they hurt the people you do care about.”

“How?” Lizzy naïvely asked. 

“This is a company that makes dinosaurs. You think they don’t know every single thing about you?” Lori steepled her remaining fingers. “Your pressure points?”

Lizzy felt Muldoon tense beside her, and knew he was thinking about his daughter. She was an ocean away, relatively safe in Africa…

But there were school applications to think of. Opportunities she would want a fighting chance at.

Muldoon, damn him, might feel he didn’t have much of a future to ruin, but they could ruin Honour’s.

And Lizzy herself was well within their grasp, living on the privately-owned island. People go missing in the jungle all the time. She had no family. Who would realistically think to look for her after weeks, months of not unusual no-contact? 

She felt herself panicking and knew Lori had scored a bullseye. She was clearly privy to some intel or she was genuinely talking from experience. Either prospect was horrifying.  Lori managed another hefty eye roll. “Sheesh, the look on your faces. It’s really simple.”

Muldoon wasn’t impressed. “Funny. You make it sound anything but simple.”

“You care for her?” Lori pointed at Lizzy.

“Very much.” The park warden answered without hesitation.

Lizzy’s head snapped around. She knew, of course, but to actually hear him say it aloud with such conviction somehow meant more to her than when her ex had got down on one knee.

“Then the raptor stays breathing.” Lori concluded.

“That’s our only option?” Muldoon’s voice was filled with gloom. 

“Trust me. If you want to be left alone: best behaviour. Don’t find out the way I did, that the company you work for-“ The embryologist gestured at the corporate branding all around the room. “-doesn’t actually give a shit about you.”

Lizzy could hardly believe in a roundabout way, she’d got her wish.

Lori smiled. “Or…you could always keep her out of harm’s way, on B, if you’re that concerned about my raptor-“

“Christ, Ruso; give it a rest.” Muldoon spoke roughly. “She’s better off where I can keep a very close eye on her.” 

“Is she in the room with us?” Lizzy was unable to hold her tongue. 

“Grown-ups are talking, dear.” Lori smirked.

Muldoon put a hand on Lizzy‘s knee under the table, stopping her before she could leap to her feet and flip it over. Lizzy jerked her leg sharply upwards, trapping his hand between her good self and the solid object. 

Lori raised an eyebrow at the muffled thump beneath them. “Maybe we should take five…”

“Agreed.” His voice sounded strained.

“Mind if I take a look around?” Lori asked cheerfully. “Last time I saw the visitor centre they were only putting the foundations in.”

“Don’t wander off.” Muldoon wouldn’t even look at her. He was occupied, busy digging his fingers into Lizzy’s thigh muscle, trying to make her release him . “You’re almost as much prone to trouble as this one.” ”Wouldn’t dream of it, Robert. Your biosecurity has a lot to be desired.” She replied scornfully. “I’ll leave you two alone to talk about me in peace.”

Lori disappeared through the double doors. They heard the whir of a projector kicking in and a sudden chorus of Hello John hello, John Hello John!

”Oh my God, I hate it here.” Lori’s defeated voice echoed from the next room. 

Lizzy finally relaxed her leg. It was a complicated mix of elation and resentment she felt. The raptor was safe, but she didn’t like her man being disappointed.

“That might be the cheapest trick you’ve ever pulled, Armstrong.” Muldoon sounded almost impressed, as he flexed his fingers.

She shrugged. “Just doing what I’d do if any man touched my leg at work.”

“Hm, ‘spose.” He agreed, despite the pointless exercise of keeping up appearances in front of Lori, who’d seen straight through them. “This meeting didn’t pan out how I thought it would. She has the cut of a woman who has hardly anything left to lose.”

”Did you like her?” Lizzy asked.

“How do you mean?” Cautiously.

”Not like that.” It was Lizzy’s turn to roll her eyes. “Have some faith me.”

Not jealous. 

“I’m honestly not sure.” Muldoon answered eventually. “She was-“

”-odd.” Lizzy finished.

“Yes.” They said at the same time. 

They heard more whirring, and then Henry, how the Devil are you?! as Lori evidently came face-to-face with her workmate through the glass into the lab next-door.

Lizzy knew she should feel triumphant. The raptor had narrowly escaped a metaphorical, or possibly quite literal neck-wringing in the middle of the night. Instead she felt strangely deflated.

“Why didn’t you just do it?” She asked Muldoon. “Nobody would have known.”

“You would have known, and you never would have forgiven me.” He absent-mindedly reached for her leg again, but thought better of it. “I believe I can only get away with that sort of thing so many times, don’t you?” Followed by something that was almost, almost a wink. 

She understood. He hadn’t wanted to do any of this. But he’d gone to all this trouble for her, inviting Lori to the island, so it was done the right way. Judge, jury and executioner. A fair trial. 

“Here’s the thing, I’m no better off with deciding what to do next.”

”No better off?” Lizzy blurted out, thoughts slightly muddled. “ I’d have thought you’d have found one of your options a lot easier.”

”It’s not easy. It’s never easy.” Muldoon frowned. “Not when it’s paid for, or necessary-“

The reasons were myriad. Diseased, debilitated, too deadly. Even when it was a mercy killing.

”I don’t find it easy.” He continued. “Never have, Armstrong. Even after all these years. But it’s my job, my life. I can’t get away from it.”

Without ever directly asking, she had always known in the back of her mind he must have shot and killed elephants in Kenya. That wasn’t something you could avoid, being an African game warden for any length of time. Lizzy herself had once been forced to raise a shotgun at a charging bull. If he had been more blasé about it, had not found it difficult to take the life of such an intelligent creature, they would have likely been at odds from Day One. To Lizzy, it made you no better than a poacher. No respect.

But knowing Muldoon never pulled the trigger without due consideration made Lizzy feel slightly better. She tried to see the impossible dilemma about the raptor through his eyes. All he wanted to do was keep her safe. Like he said, it was his job. To keep all of them safe.

Now she realised. Surely then, it was wrong, to not support him. “What do you want to do?”

“Many things…” He gave her a long unwavering look followed by a world-weary sigh. “-Afraid I’m going to have to ask Hammond for better weapons. And I can already see how that conversation will end.”

“It’s okay.” Lizzy leaned back and folded her hands behind her head, stretching out her back. “You have my permission.”

“Do I?” He found it amusing. “Well, that’s alright then.”

Silence. The cinematic experience next door seemed to have finished.

”You care for me very much?” Lizzy asked quietly.

“Surely that wasn’t a surprise to hear?”

“I guess-“ She fumbled. “To say it out loud, in front of someone else…got the impression you’re a bit, y’know-“

”I don’t know.” Probably did. Just wanted to hear it from her. 

”Shy.” Hmm, not quite right. “Maybe…repressed-“

“Rubbish. I always say exactly what I’m thinking.” Muldoon grumbled. “Richardson’s an idiot. I remind him on a regular basis.”

“True-“

“If it bothers you, Armstrong, I won’t do it again.”

”No, no!” Lizzy shook her head furiously. Please, do it again. “Didn’t say it bothered me.”

”Repressed-“ Muldoon shook his head in disbelief. “You’ll find out…” 

”’scuse me?”

“Doesn’t matter right now. But I would like to make something very clear.” He turned to face her properly. “Whatever happens…I don’t want to just get it over with.” 

“Me neither. Whatever happens.” Lizzy hesitated before her next question. ”Was she telling the truth? Do you think InGen knows?”

“Well, if Ruso worked it out in less than two minutes…” Muldoon hazarded. “But I’m not the ethologist. You are.”

“Then, are we really in danger?”

He nodded. ”Quite possibly.”

***

She found Dr Ruso standing at the edge of the lake. 

“Stop, don’t jump.” Lizzy said dully, picking her way around the ferns to join her. She had asked for a few minutes alone with their visitor, reluctantly granted. 

Lori didn’t turn around, only continued watching a trio of parakeets swooping in a wide arc over the water. 

“Armstrong, the lesser evil.” She quickly wiped her eyes. “So, you don’t always come as a pair?”

Lizzy scowled. Why was this woman getting such a kick out of being plain mean?

True to Lori’s earlier words, the notorious ethologist had been far removed from what she was expecting. News of Dr Armstrong’s unrivalled temper had reached Sorna months ago. Henry Wu was incapable of mentioning ‘that woman’ without shuddering. This was apparently the ‘Elizabeth’ Mike Richardson rather unprofessionally complained about in memos, his disdain more than apparent in the typeface.

Well then, where was she? Where was this legend? Because Lori had yet to meet her.

Lizzy swallowed her pride and remained cordial. ”What do you think of the facilities?”

”Disgustingly twee.” Lori scrunched her face up at the small talk. “And you aren’t anywhere near opening yet. Going to miss your deadline.”

“That’s not my problem.” Lizzy found herself wishing Tom was around to serve up snark where she was unable, lighten the mood. “At least something around here isn’t.”

“Rubbed you the wrong way earlier, didn’t I?” Lori flashed her a quick smile. “Never been the best at making friends.”

An only child with older twin stepsisters, Lori had always struggled. Sometimes keeping friends was the harder part, with the few she’d made. 

“A little.” Lizzy gritted her teeth. Muldoon had told her don’t. Well, tough. She was doing. “Now, I am sorry you got hurt. But I need to know exactly what went down when she bit you.” 

”You’ve seen the incident report.” Ruso fielded. 

”I know what happened. I want to know how you felt. What you were thinking.” Maybe then I can save her. “Because I need to work out what she was thinking.”

”A little sadistic of you, Armstrong.” Defence crept into Lori’s tone. “Asking me to relive traumatic events.”

Lizzy reached her boiling point, fed up of walking on eggshells, tiptoeing around this woman because of office politics. Goddammit, she missed Namibia. Missed not having to play mind games, saying whatever she bloody well felt like saying.  “A little cowardly of you, Ruso-” Enough. She reverted, guns blazing, straight back to the Glasgow shipyards. “-to be withholding vital information because it’s the only remotely useful thing you’ve got going for yourself!”

The parakeets scattered.

Lori blinked in shock at the volume, nearly whooped out loud, and started giggling. Then laughing recklessly, her first real laugh in very long time. 

There you are, legend. 

“That’s better!” She crowed. “Jeez, I thought the Irresistible Force Paradox thing would be enough to get you going, but you didn’t even wobble!”

Armstrong still looked like she wanted to punch her.

Good. 

“Christ, I was only pretending. I just didn’t want you to hurt my raptor.” Lizzy snarled protectively, as if the dinosaur were her own child. “She doesn’t know any better.” 

“I’m not sure if she does…” Nature, sure. But nurture had a huge part to play. Lori guiltily thought back to her role in raising VM2308 in what was essentially a sensory deprivation chamber, all alone. 

Sterile, empty, soulless. An asylum.

Lori reminded herself she did the best she could with what she had. 

Did I though? I…could…have done more. 

Shit, she’d drifted off. The newly interesting Dr Armstrong was in the middle of saying something important.

“…accidents happen all the time with zoo animals.”

“No, you don’t understand. This wasn’t an accident. She tricked me.”

“Tricked you?” Lizzy repeated, unsure if she heard correctly. Not possible.

“She acted submissive to lure me in, then snapped when I tried to grab her. I thought it would be okay without the net, I just wanted to get her secured…”

For the first time since they’d met, Lori’s bravado stuttered and died, and she looked like a frightened child, wringing her hands. 

“I didn’t even notice it at first, but tried to grab again, I couldn’t, I looked down, and…” She gulped. “-blood everywhere. I realised it was mine, they were gone. You know the feeling when you can’t believe it’s real?”

The ethologist nodded. All too well. Her shoulder throbbed. 

“I saw the red in her mouth, on her teeth, and she crunched them, Lizzy. Then she threw her head back and swallowed them in one go, like a goddamn seagull.”  “Horrific.” Lizzy said softly. “I am sorry, you know.”  “The smell-“ The woman shuddered with a dry heave, remembering. “I can feel them still, sometimes. Common with amputations. Phantom limbs-“

”So I’ve heard.”

“I’m basically a Kindergartener. Can barely write my own name. Reach for things and drop them, all the time. Tying shoes. It’s infuriating.”   Lizzy glanced down at Lori’s velcro-ed sneakers, wondering if they counted as a business expense.

“Could have used this information a lot sooner.” She was unable to stop the patronising edge. “She really hurt someone, did he tell you?”

”I thought about calling you all, wanted to, even-“ Lori shrugged. “But I’ve not been well. Not to mention under a shitload of pressure from higher up.”

”Are you okay…now?”

“I’m not worse.” She shrugged. “But I’ve had to quit my archery lessons.”

”You’ve lost me, Lori.”

”Medieval punishment. Captured archers would have their index and middle fingers chopped off so they couldn’t draw their bowstrings.”

”Maybe you should try an axe instead.” Lizzy mimed swinging a weapon. “Or some kind of mace. Closer range, more accurate.”

”Higher risk, you mean.”  “Why do I get the feeling that’s more your style now? Fighting on the front line. Raising the alarm.” Lizzy gave her a gentle nudge with her elbow. “Blowing that whistle.”

“Perhaps I’ve evolved.” Lori smiled, glancing down at her hand. “In reverse.”

“If you think of anything else important-“ Please tell me. 

”I will. Since Ingen are keeping me on for now, I’m determined to do some good.” Lori  “I’m writing up guidelines. Minimum welfare requirements. If we can’t meet them in the next six months I’m taking it as high as I can go.”

“Y’know, if you wanted someone to read them over…” This sounded right up her alley. 

”Are you proposing a partnership, Armstrong?”

“As long as you’re okay with my name being first on the publications.” Lizzy smirked. “Alphabetical-“

”That’s an unfair advantage.” Lori remarked. “Then again, age before beauty.”

”Arsehole.” She nudged the embryologist’s arm again, more forcefully.

Lori crowed with laughter for the second time. ”Maybe I could use your help. You know there’s no laws concerning genetically engineered animals? Hate to break it to you Lizzy, but the Dinosaur Protection Group doesn’t exist.”

“Maybe someday. Right now my concern is just how clever our girl is.”

How big of a risk. I need to be prepared. 

”Far too clever. Especially at such a young age. The other species we develop, even the other carnivores don’t come anywhere close.”

Suddenly, the cage break seemed much more feasible. Rico had paid dearly for his mistake, but maybe he wasn’t entirely liable. 

“How clever?” Lizzy pressed. This was exactly what she was interested in.

Lori seemed surprised that Lizzy was actually taking her seriously. “As smart as a chimp. Nobody believes me, but I’m pretty sure she let herself out of her kennel on Sorna.”

Lizzy had never worked in a zoo, but she had heard plenty of hair-raising tales around the campfire from students on placement. When considering a fence breach it was never the lions or tigers that were the highest risk. Most of the time the big cats were too lazy to bother escaping. It was always the monkeys that caused the biggest ripples of panic. Especially the chimpanzees. They were capable of tearing your arm off and beating you bloody with it, and much worse. A big cat would kill you relatively quickly with a single bite to the neck. An ape would take you apart first.

Lori misread her silence. “Want some good news?”

Lizzy stared, her thoughts racing. 

”Her siblings are almost ready to come to Nublar. I’ve told Henry to make the arrangements.” Lori nodded. “She won’t be alone for much longer. Some socialisation, at last.”

Is that good news? 

Chimpanzees taught each other things too. And used tools. 

That’s ridiculous. But then those front limbs are rather tactile. And that claw…

“Great.” Lizzy whispered hoarsely. 

“You’re not even a tiny bit tempted by Sorna?” Lori tried again. “The chance to have these little demons imprint on you, while they’re still cute?”

”Really?” The image of a gaggle of infant raptors following her around like a mother hen made Lizzy’s heart skip a beat. Awww. “Imprinting? Like birds?”

“Exactly like birds.” Lori confirmed. “It’s pretty neat.”  She left out the part that she herself had stopped getting the dinosaurs to imprint on her, as most of them had perished soon after hatching. It was too damn hard.  Lizzy’s brain meanwhile was overflowing with ideas. 

To be the one to teach them, to study them from the moment they broke through their shells…

”No.” She said with finality. Desire had flickered and was extinguished. “I don’t envy the position you’re in at all, Lori.”

Judging by the look on her face, Dr Ruso knew she was lying. 

***

“How do I look?” Kathy twirled as she entered the control room, a backlit silhouette vogueing in front of the monitors.

”Fine…” Arnold muttered, not even glancing her way. 

“Fine?” She slumped. “That’s it?”

“The fuel log for the chopper.” The engineer muttered absent-mindedly. “It’s not right.”

“And I should care because…?”

“Hey, now. You used to be sweet.” Arnold frowned at her over the top of his glasses. “Too much time around Guns & Ammo has turned you cynical.”

“Not for much longer.” Less than six months to go. 

”You should care because the timestamp that is giving me grief is the night that kid got mauled.”

”Rico. His name was-“ Shit, not me too. “-is Rico.”  Arnold shook his head. ”Well, if they took Rico to San José, they should have flown an extra two-hundred kilometres, give or take. That’s a lotta gas.”

“What-“ Kathy pulled out the glasses she was keeping stuffed under the neckline of her dress to scan the pixellated lines of letters and numbers, not that it meant much to her.

“In a thunderstorm, no less.” Ray added. “Quite an impressive bit of piloting-“

She huffed in frustration. “I can’t read this crap…”

“‘Specially carrying the weight on Ed Regis‘ shoulders-“ Arnold chuckled. “-surprised they weren’t over capacity-“

”Ray!” Kathy whipped her glasses off and brandished them at the display. “What does this mean?”

“It’s a fact that the chopper didn’t get to the hospital on the mainland. Not possible.”

“So, Rico’s still at the clinic in Bahía Anasco maybe?” Kathy remained hopeful.

“Either fifty gallons of jet fuel is unaccounted for, or someone didn’t remember to fudge the numbers before they clocked off.” Arnold laid it out for her. 

Surely not…I mean, maybe…why would they lie…why would HE lie-

Kathy was silent for so long Ray finally glanced up, and did a double-take at seeing her dressed to the nines. If she ‘didn’t care’ about this date with the young Kennedy, like she kept insisting, why’d she gone to so much effort?

”You look real nice, kid.”

She didn’t hear him, her mind was elsewhere. 

I should go ask-

No.

I’m doing it.

“Call the clinic, Ray.” She finally said. “This doesn’t feel right.”

”Kit, honey. They might not even have a phone.” 

“Someone in the village is bound to have a phone. This is 1993!” She insisted. 

“Okay-dokey.” Arnold reluctantly reached for the handset at his workstation. “You’re the boss.” 

***

Bobbie Carter knew in her gut something was off.  The trend of infant deaths and mysterious lizard sightings was extending northwards up the coast with each passing day. And they were coinciding.

Was it A causing B? Or B causing A? 

There was no way to know for sure without formal research, rather than word of mouth. The smaller fishing villages also had the unhelpful habit of ‘forgetting’ to officially report unexpected mortalities.

Costa Rica was not unlike any other subtropical country. No shortage of things that could kill you. Snakes, spiders, frogs. Jaguars of course, and for those who ventured out to sea, bull sharks. Her clinic had treated its fair share.

But these unidentified lizards targeting infants and newborns in their cribs were turning from a serious, to a severe problem. Were they outright killing the children while they slept, or simply scavenging, either way having somehow learned the behaviour by opportunity, and realised that humans could become an easy meal?

Then there was the strange mauling incident from that privately-leased island a couple of weeks prior, which still haunted her. That had been no small lizard, something much bigger, and far more deadly.

His hands…

God, his hands.

She honestly couldn’t remember the kid’s face. Bobbie didn’t want to. 

But she remembered his. The red-haired man in the baseball cap. 

Backhoe, my ass. 

The phone in the clinic rang, startling her. Like everything else in Bahía Anasco, it was rusted around the edges. 

”Manuel-“ She called. 

“Ocupado!” She could hear the autoclave beeping in the next room and her assistant’s muttered apologies. 

Bobbie harumphed as she picked up the receiver. “Buenos d-“

“Is this the medical clinic in Bahía Anasco?”

The demanding tone instantly got her back up. 

“Dr Carter speaking, what’s your emergency?”

“Not an emergency, well kinda-“ She heard a women’s voice on the line murmuring, and rustling on the mouthpiece as it was cupped. “-yeah, got it. I’m calling about a patient you might have dealt with a few weeks ago. They would have arrived on a helicopter, during a thunderstorm.”

Bobbie felt a finger of ice trail down the back of her neck. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Gut instinct was to deny, until she knew what the man wanted. Patient confidentiality and all that. 

“Now, look here, lady -“

”Ray!” Came the woman’s soft voice again. “She won’t help us if you’re rude.”

“But, Kit-“ ‘Ray’ grumbled, clearly not in the best of moods. “Sorry about this, Dr-“

”Let me speak to her.” Bobbie responded calmly, and she heard the handset clumsily changing ownership. The company name on the side of the helicopter was still unwillingly lodged in her memory. “Are you from InGen?”

Kathy saw no point in lying. “We are.”

Bobbie chose her words carefully, to not incriminate herself. She’d been on edge for weeks, only finally starting to relax, putting the thought from her mind that the government might stop by to speak to her, bringing drama to the little fishing village. She was already an outsider. And now this. 

“I do remember that night. I treated him. I was just doing my duty, as a doctor.” Her camera was still missing. “I don’t want any trouble.” 

“You won’t have trouble from us. Please. He’s a colleague of mine.” He’s my little brother. “He’s my friend. I just want to know he’s okay.”

Oh, God. They have no idea. 

The man and woman Bobbie was speaking to seemed different from the people who had dragged that kid’s lifeless body back onto the chopper. These ones cared. Ray and Kit. The kid really had meant something to them. 

Shit, this was the part of her job that she truly hated. 

“I’m deeply sorry to be the one to have to tell you, Miss- uh…Miss.” She grew solemn.

“Oh, God-“ The woman’s voice moaned faintly. 

“He passed away not long after arriving at the clinic. The man in the sports cap had his body put back in the chopper.” Why was this so much harder over the phone? When she couldn’t see their faces, hold their hands as she delivered the worst possible news? “I did what I could, I promise you that.”

Kathy heard the high-pitched ringing in her ears. Felt the tingling in her fingertips, darkness at the edges of her vision. Her nightmares come to life. 

“So did he.” She whispered. 

”What-“ Bobbie hesitated, then pressed. “What attacked him?”

”Thank you, you’ve been very helpful.” Kathy shut her down woodenly. 

“…you take care, Kit.” Dr Carter sighed as the line went dead with a click. Still no answers. 

”Well, where is he?” Arnold asked impatiently, taking the phone from Kathy’s limp hand. 

She shook her head, whimpering. “Gone.”

“Gone? Like, gone-“ The handset fell, and dangled, clattering as it swung on its cord. He collapsed back into his chair. ”No. Honey, I’m so sorry.”

Tom picked that exact moment to swagger through the control room door. 

“Been looking for you, KitKat-“ He doffed his good stetson to her. “Let’s get this show on the road!”

”I think I’m gonna have to take a raincheck…” She said vacantly. 

“No fair! You swore! What in the…” Tom tailed off as he spotted Arnold’s frantically shaking head and pained expression. “Shoot. What now?”

Kathy turned around, the monitors reflecting against the teardrops brimming in her eyes.

“He lied.” 

***

Thanks for reading!

[mischievouslittlecreature]

Part 10: Red Right Hand

Summary: A problem arises with Ada.

Word Count: 3,887

Warnings: Pregnancy (not Lucy), references to abortion, and infertility.

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Chapter 5: Rudolph Valentino

“I did some digging into Grace, like you said.”

They were taking the longer way around to Charlie’s yard. They’d some time to kill and it was quiet and less busy down by the cut. There were some things that they needed to talk about, preferably with less people around to potentially eavesdrop. 

“What did you find?” Tommy asked, passing his cigarette to her. 

“I asked your friends in Dublin about her and that pub she said she worked at. No one there has even heard of her.”

“Hm. Not a great start.”

“No,” she agreed, dejectedly. “But there’s all sorts of reasons for why she might’ve lied. Maybe she just needed work.”

“Maybe.”

“From what else I can gather, she’s from a rich family.”

“Rich and yet she winds up here.”

“She’s living in this little one room place near the train station. And on her days off, she goes…somewhere. I’m not sure where. Maybe the museum? I tried following her but she gave me the slip.”

Tommy frowned. “She lost you? On purpose?”

“I don’t know. I don’t think so, but it’s hard to tell.”

He pursed his lips.

“It’s suspicious, but it doesn’t prove anything, either,” shrugging, she handed the cigarette back to him.

“People lie for all sorts of reasons. It doesn’t mean she’s an enemy,” Tommy mused, more to himself than to her. “But keep an eye out for anything else.”

“Yes, boss,”she started absentmindedly twisting one of her rings around her finger. “She asked me for a favor when I came into the pub this morning.”

“What kind of favor?”

“She wanted me to ask you if you’d let her sing once a week at the pub.”

Tommy scowled. 

“I told her she’d need to ask you directly,” when he didn’t say anything to that, she sighed. “It’s not a ridiculous request, Tom. And she does have a nice voice.”

Tommy shot her a look. “You like her.”

Lucy bit her lip, failing to contain her smile. “Maybe. She’s nice. Why? Are you jealous?” she cocked her head, nudging him playfully. 

“What? No. Of course not.”

“You are! You’re jealous that I think she’s pretty.”

Tommy sighed the sigh of the endlessly suffering. Laughing, Lucy stretched up on her toes to peck his cheek. 

“Don’t worry, love. I think you’re pretty too.”

“Oi, you keep it up and I’m going to throw you in the cut,” he grumbled, emptily. Probably to try to distract her from the slight tint of pink that dusted his cheeks at her words. Snickering, Lucy looped her arms with his and rested her head on his bicep.

“Well, suspicious lies or not, I think that you should take her with you to the races.”

“You think?”

“Mhm. I’m gonna be with Arthur and John, and you’ll need someone to keep you company…”

“I could go by myself.”

“Then everyone will be focused only on you. Bring a pretty woman with you, and Kimber and a good share of his boys will be more occupied with drooling over her than giving you ample attention. It’ll be a good buffer.”

“Mm,” Tommy cocked his head, thinking it over.

“I know we can’t trust her, but there’s not much of anyone else you could take. Except for maybe Lizzie.”

Tommy made a face. “Absolutely not.”

“Mhm,” Lucy nodded, already knowing that would be his reaction. 

“Alright, fine. It’s a good idea,” his thumb circled over her arm when he laid his hand on her. “You’re sure you're comfortable with it?”

Lifting her head, she offered him a gentle smile. “I’m sure.” 

He gave her a quick kiss to the forehead, before stepping around the corner and onto a busier street. Though she loosened her grip and raised her head from where it was previously resting on him, she kept their arms linked until they got to the yard, letting him go so he could pull open the gate.

 Curly, upon seeing them, rushed to the stables to go get the horse. 

“Hi, you,” Lucy said, giving the horse a pat on his flank once he appeared with Curly. Tommy took hold of the reins, beginning to guide him towards the exit of the yard while Curly ran off to get a saddle. He tied the horse to a post so he would stay in place while they prepared him to be ridden.

Stroking the horse’s soft nose while speaking to him softly in Romani, Lucy chanced a glance at where Tommy had wandered over to speak with Charlie. He picked up something small and glittering that Charlie had set down on the table. Her brows drew together. It looked like a bullet. 

Curly arrived with the saddle and Lucy moved out of the way so he could set to work pulling it onto the horse’s back. 

“Tommy,” Charlie stood to follow as Tommy began to move back towards her. “Tommy!” 

Both her and Tommy’s heads jerked at the sudden rise in Charlie’s tone. Lucy quickly turned her face away as Tommy rounded back onto his uncle. No way in hell was she getting in the middle of that. 

“You mind how you speak to me,” Charlie warned. Tommy scoffed.

“Forgive me, Uncle,” there was just enough sincerity in his voice that it was hard to tell if he was being sarcastic or not. She stepped aside, letting him climb up into the saddle first. He held out a hand to her, clutching her arm tightly to help her haul herself up onto the horse’s back behind him. Wrapping her arms around his waist, she scooted forward until she was pressed comfortably against his back.

“It’s Thomas Shelby against the whole bloody world, right?” Charlie glowered up at them. Tommy didn’t respond, clicking his tongue and setting them at a bouncing trot headed towards the exit of the yard. 

“What was that?” she asked, once they’d left the yard behind, the horse’s hooves clicking rhythmically against the cobblestones. 

“Nothing.”

She paused, unsure if she should push him or not. “The Lees have declared war, haven’t they?”

His ribs expanded beneath her hands when he sighed. “Yes.”

“Well…that means things are going to plan, then.”

“Mm,” he grunted. They went an entire block before he spoke again. “We’re going to need to be careful for a while.”

That was Tommy-speak for, I might be a bit of an overprotective fool for a little while and I’m sorry in advance. She rested her forehead against the nape of his neck. Minorly annoying as his overprotectiveness could be at times, she truly didn’t mind it all that much. It was actually kind of sweet. And it felt nice; to know that someone cared about her that much to want so badly to keep her safe.  

 “Of course.”

He relaxed a little under her palms.

They carried on like that for a while, until they got to the street leading towards the Garrison. Tommy slowed the horse to a steady walk. A loud bang and a burst of flame suddenly flew forth from one of the factories to their right, and the horse whinnied in terror, bucking and rearing. Lucy grasped tightly onto Tommy’s waist, legs squeezing tight against the horse’s sides so she wouldn’t be thrown off. Tommy shushed at the horse gently, waiting until he stopped rearing to jump from his back.

“Easy, boy,” he cooed. Lucy scooted forward into the saddle, stroking the horse’s mane while Tommy rubbed along his nose, mumbling soft, gentle words to the horse. When he had fully settled, Tommy stepped away, taking hold of the reins and guiding him towards the street leading away from the factories.

Just as they were passing the Garrison, a figure popped out of one of the pub’s side doors, dumping a bucket of liquid muck out onto the street, barely missing Tommy with it. He took a step back, and Lucy had to cough to hide her laugh at the incredulous look that crossed his features.

“I’m so sorry, Mr. Shelby,” Grace stammered, eyes wide. But Lucy could see the faintest trace of calculation hidden behind the mock surprise. She wouldn’t have been shocked to hear that the barmaid had been waiting for them to walk past. “I’m Grace, by the way.”

“Hi, Grace!” Lucy called cheerfully from where she was still mounted on the horse. Grace’s smile dimpled her cheek when she looked up at her.

“Hello, Lucy.”

She was wearing a pink shirt under a green sweater, the outfit uncharacteristically bright compared to the monochrome palettes that most inhabitants of Small Heath garbed themselves with. And her golden hair looked soft where it brushed against her shoulders.

“I know who you are,” Tommy finally said in acknowledgement of Grace’s introduction. 

“What’s his name?” Grace asked, gazing at the horse. 

“He doesn’t have a name.”

“Poor boy deserves a name.”

Oh, Lucy really, really liked this girl.

“You have something to say to me?” clearly Tommy wasn’t buying the innocent, wide-eyed act either. Still, if Lucy had been standing down on the street with them she would have kicked him. He was going to end up chasing the pretty blonde away with his grumpiness if he wasn’t careful. 

Grace’s face fell slightly. “The other night you came into the pub when I was singing. You said singing wasn’t allowed,” she swallowed, picking up her courage. “I’d like there to be one night a week when there is singing,” when Tommy didn’t respond right away, a level of desperation reached her eyes. “I think it would be good for everyone. Saturday nights. Harry was too afraid to ask you, so…”

“But you’re not.”

“I am. But I love to sing.”

“You sound like one of those rich girls who comes over from Dublin for the races. Do you like horses?”

Lucy turned away, trying to bite back a smile even as it bloomed across her cheeks. Poor Grace didn’t know Tommy well enough to know it yet, but she had him. The big softy. He started to walk around the horse, and Lucy shifted back enough to make room for him to slide into the saddle in front of her.

“How would you fancy earning some extra money?”

Grace’s eyes narrowed slightly. “Doing what?”

“Dig out a nice dress. I want to take you to the races,” he urged the horse into a gallop before they could hear Grace’s answer, but when Lucy looked over her shoulder, she was squinting after them. Shooting a wink at her, she laughed, wrapping her arms around Tommy’s middle.

“Softy,” she mumbled into his ear. He glanced over his shoulder at her.

“You hush, you.”

She was still giggling softly by the time they finally made it back to Charlie’s yard.

∗ ∗ ∗ 

“Lucy, a word?”

Her head swiveled around, eyebrows flying up nearly to her hair line at Polly’s voice.

“Um, sure?” she followed her into the kitchen.

“Do you know when Tommy will be back?”

“Soon, I think. Why?” she pulled a cigarette from her case and lit it.

“We have a situation.”

“What sort of situation?”

“I took Ada to the doctor’s last night,” a droplet of dread began to fester in Lucy’s stomach. “She’s pregnant.”

“Oh, fuckkkk…” she rested her palm against her forehead, ruffling her hair, turning to look out the window. “Who’s is it?”

“She won’t say.”

“Is she keeping it?”

“She says she will. I’m trying…to get her to see sense.”

Lucy’s eyes darted to where the boys were working in the shop. “Have you told any of them yet?”

“I was planning to tell Tommy when he gets back.”

“Without Ada?”

“She went to the pictures. She doesn’t want him to know,” Polly huffed. “Truth be told, I think she’s scared senseless of what he’s going to do when he finds out.”

Leaning against the doorframe, Lucy nodded, eyes unfocusing as she began to think.

“Lucy, I’m telling you this because I need you to help me convince Tommy to let me deal with it. This is women’s business. He doesn’t need to get involved.”

“But he’ll want to,” she sighed, twisting her cigarette between her fingers before bringing it to her lips, watching as Tommy strode in, smiling and shooting greetings to the men he passed while removing his coat. God, and he was in such a good mood today, too. This would turn him sour for at least the rest of the week. “I’ll see what I can do.”

“Thank you.”

Tommy’s brows creased when he glanced up towards the double doors to see her and Polly. There must have been something in their faces. Something grave and exhausted because a frown immediately made a home on his lips as he approached them, hands shoved into his pockets. Before he got to Polly, Lucy stuck out a hand, resting it on his chest. 

“Don’t overreact,” she said sternly. Pushing past her, he leaned close to Polly.

“What’s happened?”

“Yesterday, I spoke with Ada, and last night, I took her to the doctor. She’s pregnant, Thomas,” Polly reached out a hand to try to steady him but he pulled away, storming towards the door without a word. Lucy called after him, hastily putting out her cigarette and rushing after him. He barely seemed to have enough forethought to grab his jacket on the way out the door.

“Tommy,” Lucy grabbed firmly onto his bicep with both hands to get him to stop walking. “Tommy, take a breath.”

“Which fucking asshole…which asshole did this to my sister, Lucy?” he growled at her. She didn’t flinch away from his tone, just raised an eyebrow.

“She won’t tell Polly who he is.”

Pressing a hand to his mouth, he began to pace back and forth along the sidewalk, like an agitated animal in a cage.

“Is she keeping it?”

“Right now she says she will. Polly’s trying to convince her to get rid of it.”

“How did we not know about this?” he mumbled. “How did you not know about this?” 

Lucy felt her eyes widen a very small fraction, but she didn’t let the accusation bother her too much. She knew it really had nothing to do with her. Not that he wasn’t particularly wrong. She was supposed to be his spy. His eyes and ears. She was supposed to keep him from being blindsided with information like this. The regret at snapping at her was plain as day in his eyes as he quickly looked away, pinching at his brow. 

“I’ve had more pressing things to keep track of than who Ada spreads her legs for,” she said sternly, crossing her arms over her chest. 

“I know,” he mumbled miserably. Shoving his hands back into his pockets, he looked up to the sky. “Do you know where she is now?”

“At the pictures,” she huffed when he immediately turned and started heading in that direction, scrambling, practically having to jog to try to keep up with him. “Will you slow down, you long legged jackass?” she snapped. He froze, turning to stare at her with his mouth half open in indignation. She was lucky that he loved her; had anyone else spoken to him like that, he probably would have blinded them.

“What?” she huffed once she’d caught up to him. Shaking his head, he started walking again, but this time at a notably slower pace. 

A piano was playing a slow, romantic melody to go with the moving black and white image on the big screen. There were only a handful of other people in the theater, a few glancing over in annoyance as Tommy slammed the doors open and briefly flooded the darkened room with light. Walking briskly down the aisle, he scanned over the seats until he spotted Ada sitting alone, a bag of popcorn balanced in one hand. He sat down in the seat beside her with a sigh, Lucy settling into the seat on the other side of him. Ada kept her eyes firmly on the screen, chin held high.

“Tell me the man’s name, Ada,” he ordered.

“Rudolph Valentino.”

Lucy couldn’t help but wonder if Ada wanted Tommy to go into full bitch mode. Because if that was the case, she was certainly about to get her wish. His jaw snapped shut, clenching so hard for a moment Lucy was worried his teeth might snap. Groaning, she leaned back in her seat with her eyes closed, legs pulling up to her chest so that when he stood and stormed out of the aisle, he was unimpeded. The doors boomed as he slammed them open.

“Please, please, just tell him who it is, Ada,” she begged without opening her eyes. Ada just scoffed. A moment later the music ceased and the lights came up, the door opening again as Tommy burst back into the auditorium. 

 “Get out! All of you! Go on! Now!”

Lucy didn’t bother opening her eyes, listening to the people around them beginning to scramble from their seats and rush for the doors. Tommy’s footsteps were menacingly loud as he strode back towards them. Ada made a move to get up, but, without opening her eyes, Lucy grabbed her by the back of her shirt and pulled her down into her seat.

“Stay.”

“I said, tell me his fucking name,” Tommy commanded. 

“Freddie fucking Thorne!”

Lucy’s eyes opened at that, head rolling back against the uncomfortable theater seat. Oh, come on. Him!? Really? Tommy’s lips were slightly parted, face not moving at all as he processed Ada’s words.

Ada started to shout, voice rising higher and higher. Tommy pulled away, shoes pounding on the floor as he stomped back to the doors, Lucy stood up, brushing imaginary crumbs from her waistcoat as she moved to follow him. Ada was still yelling after them, until the doors swung shut behind them and muffled her voice. 

“Very gracefully handled,” Lucy commented when they were back outside. Stepping into the shadows of the alley beside the theater, he groaned, leaning against the cold brick and pulling a cigarette from his case.

“Fucking Freddie,” he grumbled is disbelief and annoyance, closing his eyes and tipping his head back while he smoked. 

“Thought that she had better taste than that,” she wrapped her arms around herself. Standing in the shade was making her cold. “Try not to be too hard on her. She’s scared, Tommy.”

“You think so?”

“Mhm. Can’t say that I blame her. I would be too.” 

Opening his eyes, Tommy glanced lazily down at her, taking note of the tiny shivers running through her shoulders and wrapping an arm around her, pulling her against his side to warm her. Something fierce and protective entered his face.

“I’d take care of you.”

She smiled up at him, sadly. She’d still never told him, that when it came to that, it would never be possible with her. “I know you would, love,” head coming to rest against his shoulder, she heaved out a sigh. “What are you going to do?”

“I don’t know,” he mumbled finally. Lucy curled closer to his side, both in an attempt to warm up and to try to offer some form of comfort. “I don’t fucking know.”

∗ ∗ ∗ 

“Pol, listen. The truth is you would have hit me with that thing if it weren’t for the fact that you know I’m right!” Tommy shouted after his aunt. She shot him a hate-filled look before disappearing around the corner. Tommy brought his foot down in a kick to the table behind him, face contorting with frustration. Folding an arm around his middle, he supported the elbow of the arm holding his cigarette near his face, eyes focused on the floor.

Why, why wouldn’t any of them ever just fucking listen to him?

A part of him had hoped that maybe, this one time, Polly and he would actually agree on something when it came to what they should do about Ada and Freddie.

Apparently not.

He wasn’t sure how long he stayed there, just staring at the floorboards and listening to the fire crackle in the furnace, until the door opened. Still he didn’t look up. He didn’t need to. He recognized her by the sounds of her footfalls alone.

“Tom?” Lucy’s fingers brushed gingerly along his shoulder. “Are you okay?”

He just grunted in response. Her hands trailed up his shoulders, skimming along his neck while she stepped in front of him. Palms cradling the back of his head, she pulled his face down until his head was laying on her chest. A quiet, exhausted groan left his lips, arms wrapping around her waist as he let her hold him. 

∗ ∗ ∗ 

The tea rooms were so fancy: each table set with delicate China teacups and glimmering silverware. Intricate paintings and tapestries covered the walls, and the white wood surrounding the doorframes was detailed with embellishments of gold. On the tables in the center of each room, stood towers of little cakes, fruits and chocolates. 

Campbell had been standing expectantly at a table in the corner. A tall man, with a gray mustache and eyebrows that seemed to forever be arched in annoyance. While he’d spoken plainly enough with Tommy, his brows had furrowed upon noticing Lucy standing behind him.  

“There’s no need for her to be here.”

“My assistant goes where I go.”

“I was hoping that we could speak privately.”

“Don’t flatter yourself, inspector, I’m here for the food,” Lucy interjected, taking a measured step back to examine the tower of pastries in the middle of the room. Campbell still did not seem fully satisfied, but sighed as he watched Lucy pick up a plate and begin to pile it with cakes. For all appearances completely and utterly uninterested in them.

It had become a certain specialty of hers: to blend away amongst the background of any room. Close enough to be within earshot of conversation, but still providing those conversing with the illusion of privacy.  

Tommy followed the inspector’s lead as they both settled into seats across from each other at the table. Sinking her teeth into a spongy white cake, she listened subtly and intently as Tommy and Campbell spoke to each other. 

In the end, the deal that Tommy struck was quite good: Campbell would leave them alone, and, in return, when the time was right, Tommy would hand over the guns to him. All he had to do was be patient.  

Campbell agreed, gruffly and quite unenthusiastically. Rising from his seat, Tommy began to head towards where she was standing, sinking her teeth into a little chocolate pastry, palm held out beneath it to catch any fallen crumbs. She crammed the remainder of it into her mouth and followed him.

“He looked like steam was about to come out of his ears when you first mentioned the guns,” she mumbled in a low voice, grinning. “Pompous asshole.”

“How were the cakes?”

She shrugged. “Alright. But I think they skint on the amount of chocolate on the strawberries.”

Chuckling, he opened the car door, hand steadying her as she climbed in before he went around the other side and slid into the driver’s seat. Lucy yawned, eyelids drooping while her cheek rested against his shoulder.

“Home?”

“Home.”

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[indigoipsum]

OKAY OKAY I have to finally express my thoughts about Kuro II after the rewatch

Me and Null agreed that episode 1 is just... a lot better than a lot of the characterization going forward. Despite the eye gouging (I cannot defend this. Alois is very mentally ill and needs to take it out on someone and I think he has misogynistic tendencies and self-hatred for his own femininity that he decides to hurt Hannah because of it) Claude was written more how he should have been the rest of the series-- stoic, annoyed, but ultimately showing glimpses of care or something adjacent for Alois.

Delete the filler episodes and add more Trancy house development in general.

Alois is a lot less malicious than I remember. Before the duel happens he's literally just going to show Ciel to the bathroom. He only tries to hurt Ciel when his life is on the line, and even then, he begs Ciel to try to understand him as he's dying.

NONE OF THE REVENGE STUFF MAKES SENSE!! WHY WOULD AN 11-YEAR-OLD ORDER THE DEATH OF THE PHANTOMHIVE FAMILY! Ciel is smarter than this! I know demons are charming but Ciel is an extremely smart kid and literally solves crimes every day. When Alois starts explaining things, you'd think that after the duel Ciel would actually try to process it before all the torture stuff happens. Also, why would that "arsonist" allegedly hired by Alois confess to it? Was Sebastian paying him off? We know none of this actually happened!

GOD Ciel's characterization is horrendous. He kills the alleged arsonist without remorse and then is prepared to kill Alois then, later on, is like "ugh I could never kill that easily" YOU JUST DID??????? Also, when he becomes a demon, he completely leaves his servants without any regard for their well-being despite them caring for him for three years. Even though he's a demon and such now, he's not going to change his personality like that. Sebastian was under orders by Ciel to find new staff, and instead of just hiring a really good cook, maid, and gardener who had defense experience or whatever, he took in three people who had nothing left but their abilities and showed them genuine kindness. It's debatable how much of the kindness was really Sebastian's but it stands that Ciel would not abandon his servants. At the very least, not Tanaka, who he's known all his life. He wouldn't do that to Lizzie or Soma or Agni either! He cares about all these people. So he and Sebastian are just wandering around flower fields forever? Why don't they just go back to Hell where Sebastian will still be his servant?

Another point with the demon thing: I fully believe that it was just done to pander to Sebac1el shippers (censoring so this doesn't come up in a search for the ship because that is the opposite of the goal here).

I forgot how creepy Claude was in the later episodes. There were parallels between him and previous Earl Trancy that should have served a stronger narrative purpose but just made it look like he was sexualizing the two boys.

There's only one scene that actually intends to make Alois' CSA feel disturbing, and it's when he's laying motionless in bed and saying how Trancy looks at him with hunger in a different way than Claude does. They were so close to the point! Also, one of the maze questions is about Alois pretending his trauma didn't happen so why do people insist he enjoyed his abuse?

When summoning Claude, why was none of the contract about getting away from Trancy???? "I don't care about that old pervert" YOU ARE BEING BRUTALLY ASSAULTED?? Sorry Alois would have def ordered Claude to kill him in my mind.

Every scene with Hannah, no matter how serious, portrays her in a sexual light and I HATE it.

WHY WOULD SCOTLAND YARD THINK THAT CIEL IS ALOIS. THEY HAVE WORKED WITH CIEL FOR YEARS.

The maze idea was cool but, again, executed poorly.

Grelle's characterization is better than Season 1 in terms of showing her skill.

The Hannah contract was still confusing after multiple watches and idk what was going on in that writer's room.

I think that's it for now but dear god. This series is so much. If all of Kuro II Tumblr was hired to write it then it would have been genuinely good

[afpwestcoast]

Bearsville Theater, Bearsville, NY, 10/26/24

Happy Birthday to MEEEEEeeeeeee!

Things got off to a festive birthday start as we were lined up before the show and the greatest venue security guy ever - Reynaldo Gayle, aka Rey - was going over the rules and warming up the crowd when someone told him it was my birthday, so he led the entire line in a rendition of “Happy Birthday to You!” Heavy foreshadowing.

Before we went in for soundcheck Michael McComiskey (Amanda’s man Friday and all-around stellar human being) handed me a copy of “All the Light We Cannot See” signed by Amanda for my birthday. We watched the mini series based on the book and it was awesome, so I’m really looking forward to reading it. Since the Dresden Dolls began performing together again in November of 2022 there has been a heavy emphasis on new material that they were workshopping and preparing for the new album. That album has been put on hold and so tonight the focus shifted not just to old material, but to some truly deep cuts from the vault. But this was more therapy session than nostalgia tour, as it was clear that Amanda was working through some things. Overall the performance was crisp and tight and thoroughly enjoyable, but lacked the manic energy that characterizes the Dolls at their best.

But then again … birthday shot! So …

Annotated Set List:

Science Fiction Double Feature (Richard O’Brien and Richard Hartley cover) The opening theme to The Rocky Horror Picture Show served as notice (warning?) that this would not be a normal night.

Sex Changes

Gravity

Coin-Operated Boy(!?) VERY early in the set for this one!

Backstabber

My Alcoholic Friends Midway through this song it is traditional for (Tour Manager) Jaron to bring two shots onstage for he and Amanda to do together. I have fantasized about being Amanda’s shot-delivery boy; that didn’t happen, but the next-best thing did! Jaron brought out two shots for him and Amanda, as usual, but Michael brought out two for him and … ME! Amanda said, “Happy Birthday, Tom!” and we all did our shots together. Happy Birthday indeed!

The Kill This is a deep cut that I haven’t heard them play in an age.

Missed Me

“It’s about to be time to vote. And it has come to our attention that there are a lot of people out there in the world with a lot of money who are going to very possibly influence this vote in one way or another and the most important thing as all of these things are happening around us and all of these wealthy people who own all of these newspapers and all of the space and the sky because any day now we are going to look up; we’re going to look up and we’re going to see the moon. And it’s either going to say ‘Google,’ or ‘Amazon.’ We wrote a song about this a long, long time ago so we’re going to play it for you!”

Modern Moonlight

Thirty Whacks

“Sometimes it takes going all the way to New Zealand and living there for a couple years to realize that Lizzie Borden really did have an effect on your childhood.”

Pierre (Carol King and Maurice Sendak cover)

Welcome to the Internet (Bo Burnham cover)

There were two children front and center and someone pointed them out to Amanda saying that they were 9 and 11. “Oh my god! My 9yo wanted to watch a movie tonight instead … and I don’t blame him. He did do an incredible interpretive dance to ‘Pierre’ during soundcheck. Full seven-minute interpretive kind of tacky, stretchy goth dance.”

Mein Herr (from ‘Cabaret’ by John Kander and Fred Ebb) (Brian on guitar)

“I wrote a lot of songs especially towards the very end of the time that I was living right here in this neighborhood in a house that at this point feels completely fucking haunted. And they’re ALL incredibly fucking sad songs. I wonder why? But this one’s actually like the least sad, I think. And it’s really sad. … I wanna say one last thing about Rey, our amazing security guard tonight. I’ve been crying a lot lately because of all sorts of things … I’ve cried a couple times today, but Rey made me cry. … He asked me, you know in that like casual way, ‘How are you doing?’ and I was like, ‘I don’t know. I’m not great. I’m pretty fucked up; I’m dealing with a whole family crisis.’ And he said, ‘Oh but that’s out there. Now you’re with your family.’”

Another Christmas (Brian on guitar; Amanda on jingle bells) This one hit with a little more emotional impact than usual tonight.

“This is a song, also from our second record, back before I learned how to write a powerful song about abortion in a non-sarcastic way. This was like 2.0, before we got to 4.0. You should VOTE.”

Mandy Goes to Med School This one included both a bit of Cab Calloway’s ‘Minnie the Moocher,’ and a brief excerpt from ‘Careless Whisper’ by George Michael tonight.

-crew thanks and merch commercial-

Amanda gave a big shout-out to Nikki McQueen, who has been designing amazing posters for the Dolls’ tours for the past couple years and was brought to the show from South Africa by a successful crowd-funding campaign.

The Jeep Song

Massachusetts Avenue (Grand Theft Orchestra cover)

“This is a break-up song, but it’s a really weird one because it’s about that time when you know the break-up’s gonna happen, but it hasn’t quite happened yet. And you’re still like luxuriating in the agony of ‘We’re still fucking’ but it’s over.”

Boston

Half Jack The extended instrumental intro to this one started with Brian solo on the drums for quite a while before Amanda joined in on piano. It was effective at building tension and anticipation. — — Girl Anachronism

Sing (Brian on guitar to start)

Photo Gallery:

Before the show Michael delivered a birthday present from Amanda!

Soundcheck!

Just point a camera at Brian Viglione and you will get something good.

BIRTHDAY SHOT! (photos by Melissa Smith)

Amanda doesn’t have a thousand-yard stare. Not at all.

Blue period.

The Dresden Dolls!

Mein Herr (upper right photo by Deanna Aliano)

Another Christmas (photo by Deanna Aliano)

Good night, Bearsville!

In a final act of birthday kindness Michael hand-delivered the set list to me after the show. They followed it closely for the most part, but veered off toward the end, as is tradition.

[heroofspiritsisthebestlink]

VHAD NATION

You may be wondering what Episode 4 means for our cause. Sadly, our boy Thad was not really present in today’s episode. I also fear that this may continue to be the case, as the show’s breakneck pacing allows less and less time for those not connected with the main plot.

However! There is still much to work with! The more we learn about either character, the more we can wager their dynamic together. So allow me to deploy; Headcanon’s part 3

- Thad is an absolute gentleman that helps wherever he can, whether it’s opening doors for others, helping them down stairs, or offering to carry things. V lets him, but secretly thinks it’s cute. She doesn’t get why she feels so annoyed when he helps other girls than her.

- V has now had 2 Worker Drones nearly kill her. She seems paranoid of their abilities. Who’s to say there couldn’t be more? Lot’s of potential for tension and drama there, especially if she also wants to like Thad.

At the same time, V clearly needs a therapy moment of her own about her past experiences, and Thad’s a rather open and understanding guy. He’d be a great listener.

Thad talked to Lizzy about his feelings for V at the start of the trip, to which she, as his self-proclaimed bestie, decided to scout things out for him.

- They totally talked on the bus ride home, maybe even being all smug about N and Uzi being all chummy in the back.

- On the topic of horror movies, Thad is embarrassed to be so scared of them, while V puts on an indifferent mask. Secretly, she hates seeing humans be torn apart and splattered everywhere, because it reminds her too much about what happened in the mansion.

Until next time 👋

[mercymermaid]

oh boy shadows of agony was a wild wild ride

here’s my insanely long live reaction

warning: spoilers

OKAY SHADOWS OF AGONY

SAW THE COMMENTS

ONLY PNE COMMENT

BUT MARK CAMEOOO

APAPRENTLY

afton sweetie i think the guy is dead

oh! i see!

ykw won’t judge everyone needs a helping hand sometimes

oh a bomb

down goes freddy fazbear’s

YEAHHH MARK ‼️

someone get bonnie his sprinkles

what is he doing 💀

is he gonna sing some emo song about “wow look at what i’ve become goddamn i hate life ilove life” because that’s what this scene is looking like

IS HE SLICING OFF HIS OWN HANDS?

HUH

HELLO

AGONY YEAH VERY

oh yeah no explanation thanks

IS THAT NATEWANTSTOBATTLE 😱

BRO THEY GOT THE WHOLE GANG UP IN HEREEEE

YEAH NATEEEE

chew on that pizza hut

and then he drops it

foxy you dumb bitch where are you going

OH HE DID SLICE OFF HIS OWN HANDS

WTF 💀

WHY

GOOD LORD WHY

I WISH WE HAD THE EMO SONG INSTEAD

how are you gonna edit out the messy parts without hands

also that is not matpat’s voice hello

WAIT DID THEY LET BABY OUT

WOOHOOOO

YEAHHH BABY BOSS FIGHT

wait

hold on

hold on

so if

in the fnaf musical

which comes after this whole fucking mess

he has hands

whose hands is he using

WAIT.

im thinking too hard about this

he either stole the inspector’s hands and connected them to his own, so when he’s taken in for interrogation if anything, his fingerprints are different than the ones that killed the inspector

but he’s wearing gloves??

did he get prosthetics later on or did they just not plan ahead

did he get so emo he decided to take his own hands

good lord

oh that is not matpat’s voice 💀

“who left all this garbage in my office?” glitchtrap: 🧍

“two miserable monsters” kys glitchtrap

“what are you?!” funny that both times he’s yelled this phrase (og musical and agony) he’s being assaulted by a psycho rabbit

WHY IS GLITCHTRAP KILLING AFTON HELPPP

WHAT DID BRO DO TO YOU HE LITERALLY MADE YOU

“you’re not william afton”

huh

glitchtrap is your memory ass

or have we been trolled this entire fucking time

hollddddddd onnnnnnn

YEAH GO BABY

how is bro gonna use a chainsaw while lacking hands

HE’S SO FUCKING HILARIOUSLY PATHETIC HELPPPPPPPPPPP

this is why we don’t cut off our hands chat 🥰

the tech’s face of :O right before being whacked is golden

“he has too much to hide” so this IS william afton?

what if this is michael afton

and all this time michael just went “oh yeah killing people? family business, dream career”

but

elizabeth

she’s william’s niece

and called him william in web of lies

and everyone else calls him william afton

did william die and michael coincidentally looked enough like him to take his identity?

NO MORE CRYING ONLY CHAOS

GOOOO SWEETIEEEEE

the glowing eyes still have me gagged

are we sure we wanna do this ☝️🤓

im sorry im being mean

bring back non voiced-over scenes

bb being used as bait :(

YEAH GO LIZZIE

can’t wait to see the blooper reel for this tbh

oh sorry *lizzY

oh and then not-voiced-over?

pick a type random encounters please

vanny!

*vanne!

magic scissors and chair is crazy

INVISIBLE VANNYYYY

“everyone is my enemy” okay edgelord

okay so vanny does not like glitchtrap

who would’ve thunk it

“escaped?!? ?!?” web of lies: 👁️👄👁️

therapytrap

HELPPPP SHE’S SO GUILTY

OHHH

or she doesn’t remember a thing from web of lies somehow

the actor change doesn’t symbolize a new character bc she escaped through the window

so she’s quoting afton as a cute little callback orrrrr they both know lizzy let him escape (in that case vanny would be beating her ass nvm)

probably a callback

okay so i’m just dumb

yeah she regrets the entirety of web of lies

lizzy is an icon

YESS GIRLBOSS VANNY ILYYYYYYY

“not if i get into his head” YES EAT EAT EAT OUGHHHHJJJ YESSIRRRRR

or

is she manipulating lizzy

bc we all saw what happened in monster in your head

unless that was vanny being manipulated by glitchtrap and now she’s repaying the favor

why is this so fnaf lore core

what is he pondering so heavily about

she doesn’t even care that she killed eggs 😭 she’s here for her silly robots

i love how animated and expressive glitchtrap is

is this all a joke to you

icon

“fear is like a hammer. with a hammer and a couple nails, you can build an empire, or pry away the pieces that just won’t fit. the nails don’t know what they’re making, whether it’s good or bad, they only know the weight of the hammer.”

okay i hate to say it but that line ate

“i’m a results-oriented kind of guy” oh fuck off

a twisted bear monster

bear?

as in afton’s suit?

toxic grudge with the humans

bro who did what to you glitchtrap

glitch maybe you were entrapped bc your shitty therapy made things worse idk tho

NO VANNNYYYY

also SONGGG TIMEEEE

VAMMY GLOTCHTRAP DUETTTTT

OHHHH THIS SONG SLAPSSSS

BUNNY BOSS FIGJT

OUGHHHHHHJHH THIS SOMG GOES HARDDDDDD

NO VANNY

okay op

famous last words glitchtrap

NO

VANNY

DID HE JUST FUCKING KILL HER

ASSHOLE ASSHOLE ASSHOLE ASSHOLE

BTDKUGDIUOGEROHITEBNOL

lizzy get his ass please

DAMN

THAT IS NOT A FUN CLIFFHANGER

okay that’s an interesting installment

how do i feel about that

[normalbrothers]

peaky blinders naturally <3

hehe! of course

My rating (1-10): well in my heart it would be a pretty uncontested 10. but some of the fairer criticisms are ones i also share and there are things that i find tendentially frustrating while watching or in retrospect. despite this the show is still a very, very solid 8.5-9 for me

My favourite character: tommy, my love ... followed by arthur and polly (i don't have a very elaborate palate here)

My least favourite character: well, each seasons primary antagonists are rather unlikeable (barring luca changretta and michael who i have many sympathies for), but beyond that i don't really have a least favourite character. as long as they are interesting enough to spend some thought on, i tend to like them, where this isn't the case i just ... don't care, but they don't bother me. (i'm not overly fond of alfie though, all things considered, he should have stayed dead after s4)

The character I think I'd be friends with: possibly none of them. i'd like to hang out with curly though he's a pretty uncomplicated and nice fella

The character I think I won't hit off with: ... most of them.

My favourite episode/scene: well. s03ep04 is the best episode that ever aired on tv, and nothing could possibly beat that, so it's that one. when it comes to scenes it's either the confrontation between arthur and tommy after arthur killed the boy in s2 or the cellar scene with arthur and tommy in s6. but beyond that ... so many, hhdhd watching an episode usually feels like i've been running a marathon, SO much is going on at any given moment

Whose clothing style I like best: i think when it comes to polly and lizzie you can really see how their character development is reflected in their wardrobe (same as ada), so that's pretty nice. i like polly's suits, lizzie's green dress, and ada's grey ensemble with the dead fox in particular. when it comes to the men i have a soft spot for arthur's satorial choices: the somewhat idiosyncratic preference for bowties and i adore that checkered scarf he wears at the derby in s2. tommy's dress up is often a talking point, but what I'm specifically frequently thinking about is the red lining of his coats, i also like how puppetish and small he looks in his working class attire in s1, but even going forward, there's often something almost, uh, drag-like about his appearance (though it's less the clohtes and more like. the entirety of the character). that's fun.

Times I watched it (and if I would again): well more than once, but far less than people would suspect. i'm definitely planning to rewatch soon while taking a loooot of notes

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 324: Is There a Force Field Around Him??

Previously on BnHA: Flashback!Rat Principal was all “please tell Midoriya that I spent a concerningly small amount of money upgrading U.A. into a wacky physics-defying funtime grid so as to make the final battle much more confusing for everyone.” Present Day!Mic (or Present!Mic, if you will) and Jeanist were all “if only somebody could deescalate this dangerously unhinged mob, we’ve tried nothing and we’re all out of ideas.” Ochako was all “LISTEN UP PEOPLE.” The mob was all, “god??” Ochako was all, “NO, IT’S ME, OCHAKO. I’M REALLY HIGH UP ON THIS BUILDING AND THE VISIBILITY IS LOW DUE TO THE RAIN, SO I CAN SEE HOW YOU MIGHT MAKE THAT MISTAKE. ANYWAYS, DEKU WAS OUT THERE RISKING HIS LIFE FOR YOU CLOWNS EVEN THOUGH HE’S JUST A KID, SO I WOULD REALLY APPRECIATE IF YOU COULD ALL REMEMBER HOW TO BE DECENT HUMAN BEINGS, THANKS.” Let’s see if her Big Scolding Energy has any impact.

Today on BnHA: Horikoshi is all “so I have this speech planned out, and it’s really good, but it also only really needs about 6 to 8 pages, but I’m gonna see if I can stretch it out to 17 pages so I can kill time before we get to the next volume cliffhanger two weeks from now.” Anyway but it really is a good speech though. There are feels, and tears, and more talk about how Deku is so in need of a shower that just looking at him requires a tetanus booster, and more feels, and more tears, and bonus ship drama, and an iconic callback to the very first chapter which reframes the entire series in a new context in a totally epic and moving way, and it’s all very good. Except that Horikoshi is determined to never let anyone actually give this kid a hug. Who hurt you, dude.

omg we are opening on a callback to chapter 212, a.k.a. the chapter with by far the cutest flashback that doesn’t involve any baby Todorokis

baby Ochako is lethally cute. she could literally murder someone with her cuteness. I just want to scoop her up and play airplane with her until she accidentally activates her quirk while we’re spinning around and we both helicopter up into the air never to be seen again

“a child’s insistence” huh well that’s all well and good, but I sure hope this doesn’t mean we’re going to drag out the whole “sternly lecture the obnoxious citizens” plot for another whole chapter. no offense but I think we’re good

so page 2 is just continuing the whole happy/worried faces monologue, which of course is very important to Ochako’s character as it provides the context for why “who protects the heroes” ended up becoming her thing. and this is making me think we actually are in for a whole second chapter of this sob. when will my boy finally get to rest

OH MY GOD SUDDENLY THESE PEOPLE HAVE EYES IMAGINE THAT

HORIKOSHI: [reaches for a box of tissues while tearfully penning an homage to his beloved Spider-Man 2, specifically the train scene where the crowd sees Peter without his mask and they suddenly realize just how young he is]

HORIKOSHI’S HOMAGE SCENE: “COME TO THINK OF IT, I GUESS IT WAS KIND OF MEAN FOR US TO PICK ON THIS TEN YEAR OLD KID WHO WEIGHS 75 POUNDS AND LOOKS LIKE HE LOST A FIGHT WITH SATAN’S MOLDY OLD BASEMENT”

lol at this one guy who can feel the mood of the crowd shifting and is all “WAIT, NO, I WANTED TO KEEP BEING AN ASSHOLE DAMMIT”

as many pointed out last week, this man is wearing an All Might shirt. that’s some fantastic irony there

-- SDKFJWIGKS

“LITTLE GIRL, I HOPE YOU’RE NOT SUGGESTING THAT WE SHOULD ALL BE WALKING AROUND DRESSED LIKE A SOVIET-ERA BUS STOP.” heh. last week I said I was ashamed of BnHA being my favorite manga. that was a lie, actually

(ETA: in the original Japanese Ochako’s next two lines are basically “the only ones covered in mud will be us heroes!” followed by “please give us some time to get rid of the mud”, with that second line basically being the single funniest thing I’ve ever read rdslkjl. Ochako thank you so much for supporting my running gags. “YEAH WE KNOW HE’S DIRTY. WE ARE GONNA TRY AND CLEAN HIM UP, BUT IT MAY TAKE A WHILE, I’M JUST SAYING. I MEAN LOOK AT HIM. HE LOOKS LIKE AN ASBESTOS COSPLAY.”)

doesn’t the megaphone kind of look ever so slightly like an axe that she’s wielding maniacally here

easy there Lizzie Borden

also that’s a really bold claim to make there. and not one she necessarily should have to make, either. but as we all know, there’s nothing that shounen manga likes more than having its heroes bravely hoist heavy burdens of responsibility like good self-sacrificing citizens

p.s. lowkey loving how Kacchan is positioned here standing slightly behind Deku. not presuming to stand in front of him all overprotectively (because he would hate if anyone ever did that to him), and kind of being unobtrusive and letting others take center stage -- but still being close enough to Deku that he can catch him if he stumbles or passes out again

(ETA: or maybe not lmao.

DEKU: [falls to his knees]

KACCHAN: [glancing up from his phone a few minutes later] “someone just sent me the stupidest meme about milk crates -- oh. uh. you good...?”

really, son. “the burdens you can’t carry, we’ll carry them for you. ...later, I mean. right now it’s late, and we’re all cold and wet.”)

also lowkey loving this OchaTsu moment here

I was going back and binging Ochako chapters this past week for reasons, and I gotta say it really stuck out to me just how often these two are paired with each other. they do everything together. it’s a really sweet friendship that often goes unappreciated but it’s very cute

meanwhile, not to be outdone by the OchaTsu, Iida is staring at Ochako with open admiration talking about how she’s fighting too. it’s been so long since we’ve had any IidaRaka you guys. I was starving and I didn’t even know it

oh my lord IT’S FINALLY HAPPENING

THE LIGHT IS BACK. he finally looks like him again. what a cathartic fucking moment omg

ffklkdw

“I KNOW YOU ARE ALL SCARED, BUT THE GOOD NEWS IS, WE DEFINITELY CANNOT GUARANTEE YOUR SAFETY AND WE ARE ALL SCARED TOO!” good pep talk there kiddo

BUT, jokes aside, truth be told this is the exact right approach to take imo, and something that’s long overdue. I’ve said this before, but this new generation of heroes is shaping up to be much more transparent than the All Might generation. they’re basically abandoning the almighty, untouchable Superman “heroes as gods” concept in favor of the more nuanced “heroes as people” concept instead. and that’s a good thing. seeing their heroes as humans, with human limitations and weaknesses and flaws, will hopefully not only lead to more scrutiny and accountability, but also more awareness of how hard some of them are working and how much they’re sacrificing. that’s something All Might never quite grasped back at the start of the series -- that the weak, vulnerable, injured him could be just as inspiring as the mighty, invincible him -- perhaps even more so. there’s a power in seeing otherwise ordinary people show extraordinary bravery and compassion. it inspires others to try and do the same

SSDLHK AIZAWA SIGHTING AAHHHHHH

so he was still back at the hospital this whole time?? smdh at this disrespect. that feeling when your sexy self-insert character’s powers of rationality are too strong, and so you have to nerf him so that he doesn’t ruin your Deku Angst arc twice over by (1) immediately talking some sense into Deku and making him come home Right This Instant Young Man, and (2) not allowing him to leave U.A. in the first fucking place. excuse me, you want to do WHAT now, Midoriya?? that’s it, go to your room

also living for Katsuki and Hawks’s soft expressions. Shouto’s too, although his is tinier and harder to see. and Jeanist’s 12-foot-long neck. imagine Jeanist’s head with Mic’s hair. maybe Jeanist had a mohawk back in the day and that’s why U.A.’s doors are so big now

speaking of soft faces, Enji’s is also excellent

what could this random close-up possibly imply?? hell if I know. but Horikoshi truly fears no discourse and that’s what I love about him

OMGGGG

“smh my child is so dumb.” poor Ochadad. your child is cute af count your blessings

SDOFFHSMH

I’m telling you guys. lethally, catastrophically cute

this speech is still ongoing lol. Horikoshi you’re doing so good but I think we get the point now my dude. you gotta learn how to transition out of these things

UNEXPECTED TOGA WHAT

“there we go” Horikoshi says, crossing off the last line on his list of Ochako ships. “that’s all of ‘em”

poor Ochako is just repeating the same “LET HIM REST, PLEASE, WITH EVERYONE’S COOPERATION, IF YOU DON’T MIND, WE APPRECIATE IT” talking points over and over again hoping someone will throw her a bone and acknowledge her already. SOMEONE PLEASE HELP HER

literally they’re all just staring up at her silently omg. work with me people!!

now she’s saying it for the 56th time but more dramatically all of a sudden

they got so dramatic that for a minute I thought she had suddenly leaped off the building or something

look, not to rush you or anything Horikoshi, but I’m starting to get the feeling that this is yet another one of those “the volume is ending soon so I need to either hurry things up or slow things down in order to make sure we end it on my perfect cliffhanger ending” chapters where you go to ridiculous lengths to drag things out much to the exasperation of your week-to-week readers

(ETA: ftr, volume 31 ended on chapter 306, and I’m predicting that vol. 32 will end with chapter 316 (a.k.a. “you’re next!” [explodes]). I’m guessing vol. 33 will follow suit and likely end on chapter 326, so keep your eyes peeled for a big cliffhanger in two weeks’ time. Deku’s dad?? All Might in peril?? U.A. traitor at long fucking last?? we shall see.)

is Deku straight up falling in love with Ochako right on the spot lol what is happening

I know I just said that I enjoy when Horikoshi gives zero fucks about discourse, but shipping discourse is a whole different beast lol. I hope he’s prepared

(ETA: and for the record, I have no interest in shipping discourse either, as always. and I think this scene can be interpreted as platonic, tbh, with the context being that Ochako was literally introduced as someone who was willing to help him so casually without a second thought, and now here she is saving him again.

I don’t think it really fully hit Deku until this moment how much he needed saving. like I said in another meta somewhere, selflessness is basically just selfishness on behalf of others. and Deku is selfless to a fault, but that’s okay, and it doesn’t mean he needs to change -- he just needs friends who are willing to be be selfish on his behalf in turn. and I think the full emotion of what it means to have friends like that just hit him at last. everything his friends have done for him, how much he needed it and didn’t even realize, and how grateful he is. anyways what a terrible day for rain.)

-- son of a --

is he apologizing?? or pleading?? please tell me that’s not the case, because what the actual fuck. Deku you beautiful precious radiant selfless child, this is the exact opposite of how this should be. all these motherfuckers should be on their knees apologizing to you

DEKU WHY

I DIDN’T ASK FOR THIS FREAKING BOMBARDMENT OF EMOTIONS GODDAMIT. OUT HERE ARMED WITH YOUR FREAKING TREBUCHET OF FEELS TO LAUNCH AT ME UNPROVOKED. WHAT’S WITH THAT

FREAKING CHRIST. THIS BOY IS CRYING HIS EYES OUT AND HORIKOSHI IS JUST ZOOMING IN WITH THE CAMERA, LIKE CAN WE JUST CUT HIM A BREAK ALREADY. ENOUGH OF THIS. HE’S SO YOUNG AND HE TRIES SO HARD AND I JUST NEED HIM TO FEEL SAFE, HORIKOSHI PLEASE CAN YOU JUST GIVE ME THAT ALREADY WHAT IS THE FREAKING HOLD UP!!

GIGANTIC FOX LADY!!!

GIGANTIC FOX LADY PLEASE BE MY HUGGER BY PROXY!! SERIOUSLY GIRL IF YOU JUST HOLD YOUR UMBRELLA OVER HIM OR SOMETHING AND DON’T GO THE EXTRA MILE I’M ABOUT TO LODGE AN OFFICIAL COMPLAINT. THIS IS GETTING RIDICULOUS NOW

!!!!

A KOUTA IS GOOD TOO!!! oh my god if Kouta hugs him I will seriously 100% straight up cry. go on and test me

FOR THE LOVE OF --

is this man expressly forbidden from drawing hugs in his contract or something. DO YOU DO IT JUST TO SPITE ME?? this is tyranny, sir

AND I KNOW, THIS PAGE ACTUALLY CHALLENGED THE VERY PREMISE OF THE SERIES ITSELF, AND HERE I AM COMPLAINING ABOUT HUGS, OR THE LACK THEREOF. “this is the story of how we all became the greatest heroes.” and just like that, he waves a polite middle finger at all of the Strongest Greatest Chosen One shounen protags of old, in favor of something much less conventional, much more interesting, and much more suited to Deku’s character. because if that one sentence doesn’t just sum up Deku to a T. he gladly relinquishes his Greatest Hero status in favor of acknowledging the hero in everyone. what a class act. that’s my protagonist

I love this kid so fucking much I swear. only just PLEASE. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. GIVE HIM HIS HUG

[adaodinson]

I didn´t call you babe, I was asking what it meant

It’s been a while since I posted a story, I apologize, I´ve been like crazy cause I’m starting college this year and well, I haven´t had time.

I finally watched Bill and Ted´s trilogy and of course I now adore them and have the biggest crush on Ted. I thought of this while rewatching the first movie today so here it is. In this story Lizzie and Joanna are saved by Rufus like in the movie, but they don´t stay with Bill an Ted (they can still be a part of the band though).

Summary: When the guys go to London in the XV century, they encounter someone else who needs a hand.

Relationship: Ted x femreader, Bill x platonic!femreader

Warnings: none.

Oh you did it this time, you certainly did it. There was no way you would get away from this execution. You were being dragged by the guards, not that you would try to fight them at this point, you knew it was hopeless, but you weren´t going to make it easy for them either.

The wooden door opened with a loud creak as the light from the outside blinded you. You could feel the change in the floor, from cold stone to dirt. You weren´t precisely scared, you were hoping you would get out of this just like the past times but now they took you by surprise, and unlike the others, you didn´t have an escape plan now.

You felt dozens of eyes on you, looking in disgust. Everyone here knew you at this point: the young girl with the weird accent that had no family and only knew how to steal. It was partially true, but of course there was more to you. You didn´t bother trying to change their minds about you anymore, though.

-Aha! I encounter you again- yelled the king from his seat. You rolled your eyes at him and at the look of victory in his eyes. You really didn´t want to give him the satisfaction of killing you, and you didn´t want to die either.

As the guards settled you in place, you realized they were dragging two weird looking guys and tying them up next to you. They had clothes you had never seen before, and they looked funnily scared. The blonde one had a kind aura, he seemed sweet, and the dark haired one, as foolish as he looked, you had to admit was rather handsome. Well, you were clearly lying to yourself, he was beautiful.

-First time here, boys?- You asked with a giggle, still refusing to believe you were going to die.

-You’ve been in this situation before? Are you a ghost?- they asked at the same time.

-I’ve indeed been in this situation before, but I can guarantee I´m not a ghost- you stated.

-Well, how did you get out? We could use some help ya know, babe- The dark haired said with a cute and confused look in his eyes. You flinched at the nickname, you certainly hadn´t heard that before and didn´t know what to think about it.

-Babe?- you asked.

-Yeah?- The same guy asked, waiting for you to say something else. His expression suddenly changed as if he had realized something- Wait, did you just call ME babe?- You swore he was blushing.

-No, I was asking you what it meant…ARGH- you were interrupted by the burning sensation of rope around your neck. They were putting you all in position for the execution.

Behind you, you heard a man screaming nonsense “They fell from the sky!!” “This devilish red box!!”. He was being carried by a cart and was hugging the weirdest thing you had ever seen.

-This is it. Lord, I can´t believe this- You were getting ready to face your destiny when you noticed there where only two executioners. Before you could even realize what was happening, the executioners cut the ropes that were holding you.

-Billy! Socrates!- The guys yelled while hugging the men. You then felt a hand on your shoulder and quickly turned, ready to punch who you thought was a guard.

-DON´T- The cute boy said while covering his face.

-Come on, babe! Come with us, we can get you out of here- You didn’t even stop to think about it, you just jumped to the cart and screamed your way through the town. You were speeding up more and more, and you were not feeling ready to die again, so as you passed a bridge, you managed to grab a rope that was tight to a wooden structure and pulled so it would block your persecutor´s way.

-WOW That was excellent! - both boys said at the same time and then did a strange movement with their hands in the air while shacking their heads happily. They were definitely the weirdest people you had ever met, but you liked that.

As you reached the woods, the guys hurried all of you to get into the red rectangle. You saw the blonde guy going through a book and pressing some metallic thingies.

-Oh I´m Ted by the way, and that is Bill, Socrates and Billy- Ted said while pointing at each of them. You blushed at his attention.

-I´m Y/N- you said with a worried smile since the guards were getting closer.

-Y/N- Ted repeated proudly- Beautiful name for a beautiful lady- That made you blush even more, especially since you were pretty close to him because of the small space inside the red rectangle.

Suddenly all your surrounding changed and you could only see what seemed like infinite. You closed your eyes while screaming and hang on to the shirt of whoever was next to you. Spoiler alert, it was Ted. He didn’t even scream through the time tunnels since he was too busy looking at you.

The red thing finally stopped and Bill asked you to stay inside. You didn´t see much of what happened out there, you just heard Bill and Ted say: “Be excellent to each other, and party on, dudes!”. You didn´t know what that meant, but they said it with such conviction you assumed they were wise words.

After the guys returned, you made more travels to who knows where and then finally arrived to what Bill and Ted called home. You saw Ted´s house and your head was now hurting with questions, but you understood Ted and Bill needed your help so you would ask everything after that.

They took you to a place called The Mall. It was huge and filled with people. You were looked at weirdly, but to you, the weird ones were all of them. Bill explained what The Mall was and Ted never left your side, he was at the end of the line, guarding all your new friends, but always made sure you were feeling safe.

They gave you a Slursy? Slusfy? Oh whatever, it was the most delicious thing you had ever tried, and Ted smiled so widely just by seeing how happy you were with it. He mentioned they would have to go get another historical figure that they had brought before, and you didn´t want to be without them so you asked if you could go with them. They agreed happily.

You then met Deacon, Ted´s little brother, and before you knew you were at a place called a water park? You didn´t understand so Ted took you to take a look and explain while Bill went looking for Napoleon. You got lost in Ted´s explanation by looking into his eyes, and he realized you weren´t paying attention. He thought you were making fun of him in your head or that you thought he was an idiot. But what you blurted out (according to you, you said it in your head, apparently you didn´t) made him see that wasn´t at all what you were thinking.

-How can you be so cute and pretty?- The question was out before you could even think. You turned a bright red and looked at the floor, but Ted softly grabbed your chin and made you look at him.

-You really think that, Y/N?- His eyes were filled with so much joy, hope and a beautiful spark that you couldn’t bring yourself to lie to him.

-Well, yes, of course I do. I mean, you literally saved me and…- You weren´t allowed to finish, a pair of soft lips in yours interrupted you midsentence, but of course you didn´t care. You tasted and enjoyed every bit of it, just like Ted did.

-Okay guys, I found him… WOAH- Bill was carrying a man covered in a towel and was smirking at you both.

-DUDE- Ted said looking happier than you had ever seen him (and that was a lot to say).

-Awesome!- They both said and did what you now knew was an air guitar movement.

You headed back to the Mall and soon realized your historical friends had been taken to prison by Ted’s father. You didn’t really understand what was going on, everything was new for you and Bill had to drag you as you stood astonished looking at a bicycle (not to mention how many questions you asked about the car). The guys decided it would be best if you stayed with Missy and Napoleon in the car, Ted specified he didn’t want you to get hurt.

Missy asked you tons of questions and answered yours. She was really nice, and even though Napoleon was weird, he was really funny (because he didn’t understand anything).

Finally Bill and Ted returned with the others and you headed back to the Mall.

You weren’t a historical figure, so you got to watch the guy’s complete presentation from behind the stage and to clap like crazy when they finished. Ted had gotten you some clothes when you returned to the Mall, and you were the most comfortable you had ever been.

You decided to stay with them, but you did accompany the guys to leave the historical figures at their times, they ended up being your friends after all.

When you returned, Ted wanted to offer you to stay in his house, but he knew his dad wouldn´t allow it, so you stayed with Bill instead. You saw Ted all the time though, and when they discovered that you could sing they immediately asked you to join their band and be the lead singer. You couldn´t say no to Ted´s beautiful face, so you agreed, and of course their love for music was contagious and you were loving every new song they showed you. Rufus then confirmed you were a part of the band in the future, and so, that´s how your life in a different time began, and you couldn´t love it more.

[irish-urn]

LWD: “Male Code Blue”

OKAY I FINALLY FOUND A WAY TO WATCH THESE AGAIN (and I just... Don’t wanna do any more work today. I’m done; no more).

Gosh, Casey is looking some pretty for a family supper... And George sticking his tongue out at Nora? (older!Dasey anyone...?)

My gosh. Neither Sam nor Casey have ANY chill. Nora says the word, “crush”, and they both flinch wildly. Like, I know this is a TV show and they have to make it ~obvious~ but my gosh. My dudes. I am embarrassed for you.

Oh, Sam. I can already see why Sam/Casey don’t work out: he struggles to stand up to either Casey or Derek.

Welp, Sam. If you didn’t want Derek to know about your thing for Casey, you’ve sure ruined that now. The hardness in Derek’s voice and the look he just shot Sam... Oh boy. Poor Sammy. He doesn’t deserve this. He deserves a kinder TV show.

(George, I CANNOT HANDLE HOW OBLIVIOUS YOU ARE)

PAUL YOU ARE THE BEST. That grin you get when Casey starts gushing about Sam -- like. You just genuinely care. And then the way you ask about Derek’s feelings... You are SUCH a good guy. And perceptive!!!

OKAY, COSTUME DEPARTMENT, YOU ARE ON FIRE!!! That guy walking in front of Derek with the “Didn’t your parents teach you how to share sweatshirt” RIGHT AS DEREK SEES CASEY AND SAM FLIRTING. Damn, Costume Dept. You understood this assignment.

Derek clarifying that step-siblings are also off-limits according to the Male Code... I don’t know if that’s him cutting off Sam’s argument that Casey isn’t his sister -- because, bless Sam, but he’s been very consistent in calling Casey and Derek stepsiblings -- or him clarifying it for himself. Maybe both? At this point in the game, Derek doesn’t seem to mind calling Casey a sister (or sis) if it benefits him...

And just when I think Nora is a better parent than George, she shows that she’s as out of the loop with their kids’ lives as him... And now they’re having this conversation about literally this very thing... George, George, George... I’m gonna have to think about this for a while. Because I... I like you, but my gosh.

Derek, you are trying to convince yourself that you’re okay with this, and you are so obviously not. I wish the camera would actually let you be alone with your emotions for one minute. It would do you a world of good.

Casey is so brave. I love her so much. Look at her trying to talk to Sam about things. She is so brave.

DEREK, YOU LITTLE CREEPER, watching from around the corner!!! Also, also: I think he feels bad for Casey. Maybe Sam too, but he’s watching Casey try not to cry, and it’s like... He doesn’t understand what his heart is doing. That’s the face of someone feeling things they don’t understand. 

Passive-aggressive Casey is hilarious.

Lizzie is the best sister. What an excellent support to Casey and her craziness.

Every now and again I see how Sam has handled Derek over the years, and I’m glad he has SOME backbone. And all these comments about Derek making ALLLLL the rules...

(something something about Derek making the rules and Casey following them... let me sit on that one for a while)

Edwin (1) calling Casey his sister when she’s not around is the cutest thing ever; and (2) offering to give Sam girl advice because he’s gotten his first girlfriend is also FANTASTIC. And then he actually gives good advice. What a good boy.

So. George and Nora have just DISMALLY failed a quiz about how well they know each other, hear Derek and Sam wrestling, and don’t even go to check it out???? They just! I just!! YOU. GUYS. No WONDER Lizzie is mad. I’m mad!!!

Sam actually grabbing Casey by the waist to keep her from killing Derek. Honestly the bravest thing he’s done all episode. 

...is Derek fixing his collar a nervous habit? Is that something he does to give himself a moment to think? (He looks VERY nervous/almost scared right now in the face of a fierce Casey.)

Casey spinning on Sam to shout at him -- I adore her.

The way Derek looks at her when she’s shouting at Sam... I think it’s a mix of relief that she’s no longer screaming at him, amusement at her (because I think he is often WILDLY amused by her), and evil glee that her and Sam might not actually get together... He is still, however, offended when she calls him an idiot (drama king).

WATCH THE EVOLUTION OF DEREK’S HEART. IT ACTUALLY GREW A SIZE BEFORE OUR EYES. Huh. You really do care about Sam. That’s sweet.

And then he gives permission. He’s not hiding that he’s not happy about this, but... Still. Look at his growth!!

Sam, you should have LISTENED TO YOUR HEART. Both Venturi boys are DUMBOS.

CASEY KISSED HIM FIRST. I AM SO PROUD OF HER.

Okay. Do I think Derek is aware he has feelings? Yes. Do I think he knows what these feelings are? ...unsure. I can see him ignoring them, pretending that they’re not what they are... 

[storytellerofuntoldlegends]

an icarus and his sun: chapter 12

A/N: another shorter chapter here, a bit of an uneasy calm before the storm :)

Warnings: injury, fever, infection/corruption, unconsciousness, talk of possession, talk of death, crying

AO3 Link - Tumblr Masterpost

-

The last few days had been horrendous. Jimmy hardly got any sleep, staying at Scott’s side and comforting him through the horrible fever and corruption. The few times Scott was awake, he wasn’t super coherent- the fact that he kept clinging to Jimmy and borderline whining whenever Jimmy wasn’t right beside him proved that. Everyone was trying their best to come up with solutions for Scott. While Joel, Lizzie, and Pixl hadn’t seemed too keen on helping Scott at first, they quickly changed their tune when they heard about what Fwhip had said about Scott, how he had really cared about Jimmy, and left the Wither Rose Alliance because of it. Joel and Pixl tried offering golden apples and health potions, but Gem and Shelby sadly explained that they hadn’t been doing much good, only somewhat combating the fever and doing absolutely nothing to the corruption. Then they tried to remove the corruption- but Scott woke up screaming in pain, and that was a sound that would haunt Jimmy forever. They stopped trying to remove the corruption pretty much instantly, as it was clear that it was far too intertwined with Scott. They would just find another way, there had to be another way.

With Gem’s magic, they had managed to get the corruption to stop spreading across his skin- and it seemed like it had worked. Even Shelby seemed optimistic- her people were never able to stop the corruption from spreading. Scott’s fever went down, and he woke up, seeming far more coherent than he had been in the past few days. Well, maybe not super coherent, he looked extremely baffled and wondered if he was dead. But he wasn’t, he was awake and for once his icy blue eyes weren’t glazed over with fever or pain… but then just like that, everything went wrong again. Scott started shaking and hyperventilating, babbling out apologies- then he tensed, eyes turning red before they fluttered shut and he went limp.

“What happened?!” Gem asked as she burst in, followed by Pearl, Shelby, Katherine, Pixl, Joel, and Lizzie. Jimmy was still standing at Scott’s side, hand tightly gripping Scott’s.

“I don’t know, he seemed fine and then he wasn’t- and his eyes went red, the same red as the corruption,” Jimmy explained, trying to keep his voice from shaking.

“Oh no,” Shelby gasped, eyes going wide as she scrambled back from Scott’s bed. Jimmy looked at her in confusion.

“Shelby, what’s wrong?” Jimmy asked. Shelby swallowed nervously.

“There- there was something else that could happen to people because of the corruption- but it was rare, not many people lived long enough for it to happen.. but we got it to stop spreading, so why would his eyes…” Shelby’s rambling trailed off as she continued backing away from Scott’s bed, eyes wide with horror.

“Shelby, what aren’t you telling us?” Pixl asked, voice gentle yet firm.

“They would become like puppets, the corruption would control them so it could spread- but Scott shouldn’t just be lying there, if his eyes really went red then he should have killed us all by now,” Shelby explained shakily. Various gasps and shouts of alarm filled the room.

“You knew what the corruption did this whole time and didn’t tell us?!” Jimmy demanded.

“Jimmy, yelling isn’t going to solve anything,” Katherine reprimanded, but it was lost on Jimmy as he glared at Shelby instead.

“Becoming a puppet to the corruption was rare! And I didn’t think it was happening to Scott- most times, before someone got under the corruption’s control, they were in a much better state than Scott. But it was like that was what the corruption wanted sometimes. It would weed out the weak ones and keep the strong ones to spread it. And… well, with how Scott was doing, it seemed like the corruption saw him as weak. But then you said his eyes went red, and that was a surefire sign that the corruption took over someone- but he should have started killing people or trying to spread the corruption… it doesn’t make sense,” Shelby rambled, her terrified expression completely directed at Jimmy now. Jimmy’s shoulders sagged, and he dropped his glare to instead sheepishly grimace at Shelby.

“I… yeah, okay. That- that makes sense. Sort of. Sorry for yelling,” he said, giving her a weak smile. Shelby gave a trembling smile back.

“It’s okay. And who knows! Maybe Scott passing out means that he’s still fighting off the corruption,” Shelby said hopefully.

“I don’t think we can afford to be that optimistic,” Pearl said with a wary glance to Scott’s still form.

“Maybe we should lock him away somewhere, until we find a cure,” Joel pondered.

“I have a secret meeting room- Fwhip and Sausage know about it, but it’s probably the most fortified spot in my empire,” Gem offered.

“We could always set up a guard rotation, maybe have someone stay in the meeting room with Scott as a last resort,” Pixl pointed out.

“I’m staying with Scott,” Jimmy blurted. Everyone’s gazes snapped to Jimmy with varying expressions of fear and concern.

“Jimmy, that’s suicide,” Lizzie said softly, eyes slightly glassy. Jimmy felt his eyes watering as well.

“I don’t care, I’m not abandoning him. Not again. Besides, maybe Shelby’s right, maybe he’s still trying to fight it off. And if anyone can beat it, it’s Scott,” Jimmy said firmly.

“Jimmy, this isn’t your fault,” Lizzie said softly. Jimmy gave her a grim trembling smile.

“If I hadn’t pushed him away, then he wouldn’t have had to deal with Fwhip and Sausage on his own. Then maybe none of this would have happened,” he replied, guilt laced throughout his tone. Lizzie let out a frustrated scoff.

“Then you both would have ended up like this! Jimmy, we can’t lose you either!” she exclaimed, hands gesturing wildly as she began to cry. Jimmy let out a sound that was half laugh, half sob as he reached out to take Lizzie’s hands.

“Lizzie, what if it was Joel in this situation?” he asked softly. A look of understanding came over Lizzie’s face, but she shook her head, still looking like she wanted to protest.

“I- but-”

“So you know why I have to do this. I can’t just… give up on him again,” Jimmy continued. Lizzie let out a sigh of defeat, nodding at Jimmy.

“I told you these land boys were trouble,” she teased weakly.

“Didn’t think it would be this much trouble,” Jimmy said with a nervous laugh. Lizzie gave a watery laugh in response, and hesitated for only half a second before letting go of Jimmy’s hands to hug him tightly.

“You’re not allowed to die,” Lizzie murmured into his shoulder. Jimmy chuckled.

“Understood, Ocean Queen,” he said solemnly, swallowing the lump in his throat before letting go of her to look at the others.

“So you’re sure about this?” Gem asked. Jimmy nodded firmly.

“We should still keep a guard rotation outside too, that way Jimmy can call for help if he needs it,” Pearl added. The others nodded in agreement, and Gem fiddled with something around her neck before taking it off and holding it out to Jimmy. It was one of her amethyst shards on a chain, gently glowing with her magic.

“This should protect you from the corruption. The crystals are what helped me slow the spread of it in Scott, maybe it will help it from spreading to you. I’m sorry I don’t have a more definite solution,” Gem explained, pressing it into Jimmy’s hand. The crystal shimmered in his hand, glowing a bit before going back to its usual purple hue.

“Thank you- it’s better than nothing,” Jimmy replied with a smile as he put on the necklace.

“At the very least it looks nice on you!” Shelby chirped, relieving the tension in the room slightly as the group laughed. But the laughs dissipated quickly, and they began preparations to move Scott to the secret meeting room.

-

The wall closing in front of Jimmy felt like a finality. Realistically he could open it whenever he wanted, but that was only if the situation got dire enough, or if it turned out that Scott was okay. He had hugged each of his friends- even Gem, Pearl and Shelby, even though their friendships were relatively new- and it felt too much like a goodbye. But it wouldn’t be, surely Scott would be alright.

Jimmy looked over to the bed they had set up in the room, where Scott was still peacefully asleep. That was a good sign, right? Unless it wasn’t, and Scott would just… never wake up. Forever trapped in the clutches of the corruption, eternally fighting its control. Jimmy shook his head. He couldn’t think like that. Scott would wake up, eventually. But whether or not Scott would be himself when he woke up was another issue. Would Jimmy really be able to fight him off? Would he even have enough time to call for help? And even if he did, would he want to? If he asked his friends for help, they would have to kill Scott in order to keep the lands safe from corruption. He just had to hope that Gem could figure out a cure before it got to that point. And maybe this worrying was for nothing! Maybe Scott’s willpower was strong enough to fight it… but there was no way of knowing that. Instead, all Jimmy could do was sit at Scott’s side, holding his hand and praying to whoever was listening that Scott would be alright.

-

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[pain-in-the-butler]

The time has come once again

The Bloodbath

“I’m simply one hell of a butler” says Sebastian as he starts cleaning as usual

Okay so Agni’s taking no prisoners

Work Nerd, Science Nerd, and Jock Nerd team up to form the Nerd Trifecta

Team One Brain Cell joins up with Phipps, who is quite possibly their only chance for survival

Ran-Mao remembers how Harcourt beat everyone in the unfortunately deleted round and said “Not in my backyard”

So far, everyone else has simply run away unscathed or grabbed a weapon they won’t use because the game doesn’t record weapons. Rip Tanaka

Day 1

Ran-Mao bringing the canon energy by adding a second weapon to her arsenal

Phipps somehow always turns into Team Dad during these, so I’m glad to see he’s finding time for his favorite hobbies

Undertaker up to his usual Sneaky Antics

It hasn’t even been twelve hours yet. Kind of impressive honestly

Considering Harcourt lost his mace, I’ll just assume the attack Grell “escaped” from was the vicious stabbing of his trim little schoolboy fingernails

Bad vibes

It appears that Lau also brought his canon game

Sebastian in the most recent chapters be like

I’ve actually never had this event come up before and it has to happen between two of the more innocent characters in the series;;;; god Lizzie you deserve better even in the Hunger Games Simulator

Where’s a Safety Nerd when you need one

What’s better than this? Guys bein dudes

This is probably what happened after Ciel left Weston

Sebastian will take care of this for ya, huh bud

Other events:

Agni practices his archery

Wolfram goes fishing

Othello finds a cave

Soma goes ‘splorin

Edward goes huntin

Day 1′s Deaths: Tanaka, Sieglinde, Lizzie, and Macmillan. Someday one of the ladies will win

Night 1

Butler slumber party in the woods, BYOYM (bring your own young master)

It takes a lot of energy to be this blond

I’m happy for her :)

Yeah I’ll bet you probably do Lau

A tonal shift so abrupt I got mental whiplash

Can we go back to when Grell was looking at the sky pls

Thought about science too hard. Got a concussion

Thought about Ciel dying too hard. Got an infection

Aww dad :( Hope you caught some fish tho

Looks like Harcourt won’t be winning this one, gang

I stg the hunger games simulator is misogynist because the ladies always DIE /j

Ran-Mao is hopefully here to prove the previous statement wrong

Other events:

Bard gets a hatchet

Undertaker also passes out from exhaustion

R!Ciel goes to sleep in a tree

Day 2

Oh you five are SO going in my burn book for this. It’s what Grell would’ve wanted

Ahaha just like in the real manga... right guys (;

Idk about you but I’m rooting for her

I don’t think the simulator could’ve picked four people who were less likely to team up than this

I would too if I saw my best friend was palling around with an opium dealer, a grim reaper with a lawn mower, and another grim reaper that the first grim reaper doesn’t like

Other events:

Othello chases Wolfram

That’s the only other event actually

That means today we lost O!Ciel, Mey-Rin, Harcourt, and Grell. ffs, I hope Ran-Mao kills all of you

Night 2

I’ve missed you, rare pair simulator

The “unknown sponsor” was Undertaker and the “fresh food” was O!Ciel

Confirmed: Lau doesn’t get high off his own supply

Once again a ceasefire between the strong hungry boys is formed

Girl, you don’t have to do that

“Did you kill Ciel?” Sebastian asks

“No that was William,” Othello says

Sebastian punches a tree so hard that it combusts. “God damn. Fuck” Sebastian says

Wolfram just realized I put him in the Hunger Games simulator

Other events:

Phipps thinks about “Are you winning son”

Undertaker gazes at space

Ronald becomes Lost Ronald

Soma passes out

Bard gets some water

Day 3

Damn Agni who haven’t you flirted with

Finny sees that Bard has water and thinks Bard cooked it himself, so he wants no part of that (might be burnt)

What did he even have that was worth stealing? A fish?

Well I can tell you who isn’t creating that smoke: Lau

“What’s worse than two young masters? No young masters. Now get over here and make a contract”

Everything about this sentence is a fever dream

Other events:

Undertaker decides he wants a slingy shot too

Edward chases Dad I mean Phipps

Othello gets some ouchies from picking berries

Night 3

When your young master dies, you just get an infection apparently

damn Finny’s playing hardball

I don’t think anything bad has actually happened to Bard yet. It’s just been a grand frolic the whole time

I barely remember reading the first Hunger Games but Ran-Mao’s the Foxface of this journey: she deserves to win and I just know she’ll die in the stupidest way possible

Sebastian’s like a cat that can’t reach the bird it wants to attack, so it attacks the nearest other thing instead. Poor Dad

Two white-haired anime boys and a not-white-haired anime boy talk about who will die tomorrow. Anime doesn’t exist yet so the white-haired anime boys don’t know their hair color automatically spells their doom

Other events:

Edward starts a fire, which means he’s capable of smoking opium

Ronald gets some medical supplies

Othello gets a hatchet

R!Ciel thinks about winning

Lau gets an entire explosive, but he won’t be able to light it, so no it’s no big deal

Day 4

In Soviet Hunger Games, white-haired anime boy kills you

But why murder someone when you could just mess with them

Other events:

Grey scares Bard

Finny goes hunting

Night 4

Have you four even killed anyone yet

The list of “people who didn’t start the manor fire and also don’t smoke opium” now consists of Lau and R!Ciel

The mood is too light now. Someone needs to die and it better not be Ran-Mao

At last, Father Phipps has chosen his son for this round

Agni gushes about all the hot guys he’s simultaneously in love with, giving Ran-Mao a clearer idea of who’s still alive

Day 5

Girl, it’s about time, go claim some trophies

Finny’s easily got the longest kill streak and it’s a little unnerving

Father Phipps finds a new secret fishing hole

Othello doesn’t

Lau continues to put in all the efforts of a kindergarten bully

Oh no. He’s a yandere

Other events:

Sebastian fucks around and explores the arena

Bard fucks around and hunts for tributes

Undertaker fucks around and sleeps

R!Ciel fucks around and picks flowers

Night 5

I’ve never met anyone who ships Sebastian/Undertaker but I know you’re out there

Okay, maybe these four are even less likely to team up than Phipps, Ronald, Undertaker, and Lau

Edward sees I’m making jokes about people who build fires and stays hidden

Day 6

Canonically, that is the only way R!Ciel would win a fight, so

I probably could have predicted this

I hope these are the faces they made when it happened

The “unknown sponsor” is R!Ciel and the “fresh food” is an ear that fell off his own head

I’m not sure if I should be concerned or unsurprised that Bard’s Hunger Games life is more chill than his canon life

the “unknown sponsor” was the fish and the “clean water” was “fish water”

Other events:

Ran-Mao gets her third weapon that she doesn’t want to use, which is a hatchet

Finny finds a river

Agni practices archery again, but he doesn’t kill anyone because he wants this to go on forever

Night 6

Ran-Mao I beg you please. Release us from this purgatory of mediocrity

And suddenly we’re back to canon Bard

I guess not everything can be canon

Other events:

Both Agni and Phipps pass out from exhaustion. It’s 2:50 a.m. so I should really be taking a page from their book, but unfortunately everyone refuses to die

The Feast

Finny has been a stone cold killer this entire match, so I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that the girl I wanted to win would get eliminated by him, but it still hurts ✌️😔

If you cheat on Othello, he will overpower you, killing you

Everyone else decided not to go to the Feast. Honestly, I don’t remember what the Feast is, but everyone who did go either murdered someone or got murdered, so I guess that was probably a good call

Day 7

I’ve had enough of this dude

Jesus Finny I can’t wait to see how many kills you got, I feel like you and Agni were the only two who took anyone down

Bard, Undertaker, Sebastian, and Phipps all hunt for other tributes but they’re useless and don’t kill anyone

Arena Event: Volcano Eruption

In one fell swoop, we lose Sebastian, Undertaker, R!Ciel, and Finny, jeez. But... that means it comes down to.............

FATHER PHIPPS VS. BARD

FATHER PHIPPS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wow... Unlike his manga counterpart, this boy coasted the whole time and won... He basically went on vacation and he actually won... But then again, it’s Hunger Games Simulator and nothing is sacred

Well I hope you learned a valuable lesson today. I hope you did at some point before you read my post, because you sure as hell learned nothing from this. Thank you for wasting precious minutes of your life with me 😏