#but I stopped watching during season 10 cuz it just wasn’t the same

[sampilled]

I’m rewatching the old seasons of drag race for the first time since I was 16 and oh my god Tatianna one chance!! I’m on my knees

[filmofhybe]

when enhypen sees a beautiful fan ( maknae - line )

pairing -enhypen maknae line ! x reader genre -idol! x fan! , fluff warning - none 400-450 words per member

> masterlist of my other works

> Hyung line

© filmofhybe on tumblr — do not copy , translate or share.

정원 jungwon

Man had heart eyes

It was during send off for their tour when he first saw you.

You somehow stuck out the most out of everyone

when he was around your barricade area he was hoping you would ask him for a picture or just ANYTHING

“Jungwon~ can we get a polaroid together?”

YOUR VOICE MATCHED YOU SO WELL so soft and delicate

“ ye-yes of course.” He stuttered so badly cuz how can he not after a beautiful girl just asked him for a POLAROID PICTURE WITH HIM?

His hands was shaking when you handed him your polaroid😞 bless him

He held the camera up and took a picture with you. While you air cupped his cute cheeks (cause your respectful) and did a kissy face near his cheek.

Oh how much he wished you would actually kiss his cheeks

He grabbed a pen and signed the polaroid before handing it back to you.

You were so excited you didn’t even realize jungwon “accidentally” took a polaroid of you. Quickly shoving the polaroid in his pocket.

He fr thought he was slick with it💀 cuz not even 10 minutes after the send off ended videos and pics of him admiring you was all over Twitter

Especially when ppl saw him shove a polaroid pic of you in his pocket

Engenes was crazy about it and spammed your insta comments with like “JUNGWON HAS A POLAROID OF YOU!” , “got THE Yang jungwon staring at her😞” , “I’m not even surprised she’s so pretty..” ETC.

got to see you at the last stop of their tour and didn’t even hesitate to talk to you and ask for your weverse 😨

like your that pretty he asked for your weverse😭

선우 Sunoo

Saw you when he was filming en-LoG

Basically he went to this little pet café with Niki and he wanted to play with the cats

So when he walked into the room. It wasn’t too crowded but the first thing he lay his eyes on was a Calico cat on your lap.

You were patting it so elegantly it made him stare at you for a little bit too long

Niki had to snap him out of it

he than sat down 2 table away from you

Cuz he wanted to keep admiring your gorgeous features

Niki was filming him playing around with the cats but he noticed sunoo wasn’t even focusing on the cats atp😭

His eyes was on you and the fact he had a little blush on his face after realizing his pc was behind your phone

You were so focused on the cute cat you didn’t even realize your own bias was staring at you💀

Like dumbass fr

But after awhile you felt like someone was staring at you and when you looked up you saw him

You were flabbergasted like the guy behind your phone is in front of you?

Like What In the what? You fr thought this only happens in fantasy words

But you both smiled at each other and before you know it the cat that was on your lap walked over to sunoo

You were kinda upset cuz you felt a special bond with the cat that had now BETRAYED YOU but watching sunoo play with the cat made you smile

“Sorry for stealing your cat.” JGSGHHVNRG YOUR BIAS JUST TALKED TO YOU?

You were freaking up and told him is alright before sipping on your drink

After a few minutes you decided to go visit the dogs. Of Course you were sad cuz you didn’t get a pic with sunoo but you want to be respectful.

Before you step out of the café you noticed sunoo walking towards you

“Will you be back anytime soon?”

“I actually own this place.”

Jackpot. His next few en-log would be at the same location now💀

The type to have a secret insta acc and following your café to keep up with it

にしむら りき Nishimura Riki

Yk how enhypen went to this school and they performed?

You weren’t even planning to go in that day cuz exam season and you were having a cold so like ew

But your twin sister was ranting how you should go cuz enhypen was going to perform

Like I mean I guess that what get you going

You thought she was joking until they actually appeared in front of you.

You wanted to scream but your sore ass throat wasn’t doing you any justice.

Than suddenly they were going to pick a random fan out of the whole crowd and the mc saw you had a pc of niki behind your phone and picked you

Bro you were so embarrassed ibsfr with you

Like you didn’t know what to do

The mc went like “Niki she’s a fan of you!!”

but you didn’t realize niki was the one who picked you

Brotha told the mc to pick you because your the most beautiful girl he has ever seen

He didn’t even know your bias was him he just wanted to interact with you

And when he knew your bias was him, his heart melt

The mc asked you if you were good at singing and everyone started saying yes

Your the golden voice of the school

“I can’t sing I’m sick today.” You said into the mic making everyone kinda chuckle and the mc was being such a silly person and told you is okay because is enhypen

“Yeah don’t worry just have fun.” NIKI? WHAT? Bro said that to you. Bro you folded.

So now here’s you singing “Given-Taken” while enhypen dancing to it.

They were all shocked when you hit heeseung’s high note WHILE BEING SICK?

Niki was in love bruh he wasn’t even tryna hide it when he didn’t want to pull away after you guys shook hands

Bro was still clinging onto your hands and staring at you with heart eyes

And everyone saw how he looked at you

Bro every engene wished they were you

And let me tell you how Niki said he wanted to go back there to perform just to hear you sing and see you again

It happened and Niki wanted you to be his so bad like omg man has never been this down bad

Stalked your whole school social media page just to find your the golden voice of the school and your insta😞

Whipped asf

a/n: 1989 TV VERSION IS OUT I WANT TO CRY SLUT! IS SO GOOD😞😞 Also I did not even realize how much ppl liked my recent enhypen ot7 series. It was just a random thought at 4am and I wrote it the next morning😭 thank you for the amount of support🫶 I really really appreciate it and I really hope you all enjoy it!!🩷

taglist : @surefornext @spilled-coffee-cup @skepvids @amymyli @in-somnias-world @okjaeminn @nonotwice1 @thinkmyg @blubbfsh

comment or reblog to be on my taglist :)

[toomanyopinionss]

i wanna talk abt

the CW DC shows

man how far they fell…

Of course this list was prompted by the fact that the Flash is coming to an end, signaling the end of an era.

There’s a multitude of reasons why these shows went in flames:

troubling production, some truly awful plot lines, the racism, the queerbaiting…

however, the highs were so HIGH. Every once in a while, i’ll think about the crossovers and get happy nostalgia tingles. they were so iconic.

the penultimate memorable moments in each of the shows.

From the time Barry first broke the sound barrier, to the time Cisco DIED by Dr. Wells but barry ran so fast he went back in time and undid it, to the time Caitlyn’s dead fiancé came back, fused with an old ass professor, just to die again shortly afterwards 😂😂

From the time Oliver’s mom blew up the city with the help of the man she had an affair with (which ended up killing the guys whole son 🤡), to the time Oliver took Felicity to his mansion and told her he loved her as a mIsDiReCt, to the ENTIRE season 5.

From the time Kara came out as supergirl just to save her sister, to the time that same sister actually came out (which, at 14, was so important to me), to the first time Lena Luther is introduced and every time she’s in screen afterwards. (Season 2 was just *chefs kiss*)

and that’s just the main three. don’t tell me that when you think of legends of tomorrow, a good 5 scenes don’t immediately pop into your head. what a batshit crazy piece of media.

Now there’s a lot of discourse as to what started the spark that caught flame and caused this entire franchise to explode as horribly as it did.

some say that Barry going back in time and fucking with the timeline ruined it

some say that the beginning of the end was the batwoman show, one of the hottest messes to come out of the CW’s ass since riverdale’ third season

some even blame the death of captain cold. a very VALID complaint

regardless of what you think, i believe that now that the arrowverse is coming to it’s inevitable end, it’s a good time to look back and reminisce. With the writers strike happening (show your support btw), and the fact that streaming services are unwilling to release seasons with more than 10 episodes, i cherish the time i spent with these shows even more. i grew up with them (for reference, i was born in 2003, so i was 9 when arrow came out for the first time). My dad had the first 3 seasons of Arrow on dvd.

Iris was one of the first black women I saw on screen after transitioning out of my disney channel phase. And she wasn’t a side character or anything, she was a main character and the love interest of the superhero. regardless of what you think abt iris as a character, that shit just wasn’t the norm back in 2015.

When sara lance kissed the daughter of the head of league of assassins in front of her ex-boyfriend, and it was as just another tuesday in star city. such an important scene.

look, all this to say. I will miss this era***. even if I stopped watching the flash during the 8th season. i didn’t realize how comforting it was knowing it was still out there.

***i know the superman and lois hasn’t officially been cancelled yet. but i’m protecting my heart. cuz it’s a really good show.

Goodbye, Arrowverse

********(2012-2023)********

[garrothromeave]

let’s talk about minecraft diaries rebirth.

and why it’s literally amazing. (warning: this will contain spoilers. lots of them. also, long post ahead.)

i think a lot of people hate mcdr because they were expecting a remake; but the point of rebirth is for jess to rewrite it. it wasn't supposed to be exactly the same.

honestly i went into mcdr with a closed mind. as an og mcd fan, i thought that this was going to suck ass and that i'd rant about how bad it was to my friends later. but actually watching it, i just... couldn't help but immediately fall in love with it.

ik im probably the only motherfucker that likes mcdr, but honestly how could i not? for one, garroth and zenix actually have personalities at the beginning. AND; the villagers? actually amazing. donna made me smile, visher made me laugh and cry, brendan was just bein as good as ever. like... i even didn't despise emmalyn with every ounce of my soul like i usually do?? the characterizations of them were GOOD, man.

and honestly, aphmau like--the way she spoke, her whole thing. it was reallyyy well done in my opinion. she was oblivious to things, but it wasn't overdone and wasn't done in a way to make her annoying. she's a very appealing character in mcdr, a main protagonist i do not mind following along with. her dynamics to the characters are really cool and all very unique.  gonna cut it here so i don’t clog y’all’s feed cuz i got a lot to say :)

the early use of aphmau’s powers was actually pretty cool as well, it also really showed how clueless aphmau really was to everything going on around her. AND UH, THE FACT THAT SHE THOUGHT THAT GARROTH FELT FAMILIAR? GOLDEN. absolutely golden.

AND GENE OH BOY, the early introduction of gene? ik a lot of people are upset about it, but god DAMN i love it so much. his role in the story is very important in original, and i cannot express how much joy this brought me learning that he was actually getting the proper attention for it. and the fact that gene and aphmau were working together?? i mean ik gene was just trying to use her to get back to the "shadow abyss" (pretty pog replacement for the nether, gg) but god DAMN i loved every moment of it. i found their dynamic to be pretty fuckin funny to be honest, would absolutely love to see more of it.

i might be biased considering gene is one of my absolute favorite characters, but i honestly think that introducing gene this early on in the story was a good move. again, he's literally the right-hand man to the shadow lord. it makes you really wonder why he didn't have as much of an important role in season 1 or even 2 of the original mcd plotline. also, we get some of that good-ol-fashioned exposition with seeing early on how vylad and gene interact. vylad’s at a very strange point in the story right now; his motives are unclear, even to the side he’s ‘supposed’ to be taking (aka, a shadow knight.)  another early introduction to a character is zane! this, my friends, is good. really good. i’d say that zane is the main antagonist of season 1 in the original series--and he wasn’t even introduced until like, episode 50. it’s not necessarily a bad thing, but him being introduced this early on really gives the audience a better understanding of what threats are out there and what our protagonist will have to encounter in the future. in the original series, there’s not much explanation as to why lords are disappearing/dying left and right--and while yes, that was supposed to be the mystery of it, having some of that early information is a better move in terms of writing. 

AND IVAN?? BEING A PART OF THE JURY OF NINE?? I COULD NOT HAVE ASKED FOR ANYTHING MORE LIKE GOD DAMN that was a very pleasant surprise i'll just say that, thank you jess :)

and no i did not loop the 4 minutes of screentime laurance got in that one episode haha who would do that i would never do that anyways

SPEAKING of laurance, im so glad jess actually wrote him in this early :) she totally could have just waited for the first time aphmau visits meteli and meets him there, but no! she put him in an early episode. i dont even care if she did it just to shut up the fans about laurance but man that made me so happy seeing him, even if it was only for a bit.

okay i kinda wanna go over the guards real fast firstly; garroth. ignoring how weird the helmet showing emotions is, i really like how garroth is portrayed. he's under a lot of pressure because the village is putting a lot of the blame on him for malik's death, and he's trying his hardest to keep things running. the fact that garroth utterly refused the to take up the position of lord and even got a little snappy about it was actually really cool to see as well. and while he doesn’t have that same “reserved, quiet, observant” feel as the original mcd version of him had, this version of garroth is absolutely awesome. he’s more direct and blunt, is significantly more sarcastic, and isn’t as stiff or as much as a pushover as he is in the original. he even has a sense of humour. also, no homo, but he’s kinda adorable.  plus, the desperation that he goes through during the whole thing is just--it’s really cool to see how hard he’s trying to prove himself and help the village. my rating for mcdr garroth? 9/10. the helmet... the helmet is the main thing throwin me off, i can’t lie. next, zenix. oh BOY do i have a lot to say about this man. first of all, his and garroth’s dynamic is incredible. when i saw how the interacted with each other, my first thought was: father and son. zenix has this immaturity to him that is so fucking fun and interesting to watch, and seeing how garroth scolds him is so fuckin good man. and! seeing how he interacts with the rest of the village... honestly, if jess ever picks this story up again, i would probably cry when zenix (literally) backstabs garroth. HELL, i hope that’s something that still happens, it’d be heartbreaking to witness this character that we’ve come to love hurting his mentor, the man who took him in. he’s just a really good character all in all, and much more appealing than the original mcd zenix. ...except season 3 zenix. no zenix can be better than that one.  either way, zenix is amazing written to be the comic relief and he’s just an all-out lovable character in this series.  finally, dale and brian. yes i’m going to group them up because there’s not much to say regarding them, but i do want to address them. for starters, we have brian; who’s already 16 when the story starts. good on jess for doing that, because in the original aphmau watched brian be born and age INCREDIBLY quick, haha. THOUGH i do feel like there’s a slight connection lost there--one of the hardest things about brian’s betrayal in the original series in the fact that we watched him grow up in phoenix drop. we were there from the moment he was born, to the second he betrayed phoenix drop. BUT OF COURSE, this version is a lot more realistic, so it’s understandable. i just think that if it’s brian who’ll be betraying phoenix drop again (if it even goes down that same route), it won’t hit as hard unless jess really takes the time to grow the connection between brian and aphmau.  as for dale; gotta admit, love it. and like, i think one of the main things about how good of a call it was to make him a drunkard from the beginning is considering how much the village is struggling. the fact that the second-in-command is literally drunk all of the time really conveys the message of, “yeah. this village needs help.” plus, he’s another good comic relief character. i loved seeing molly and dale’s relationship too, it was very funny.  PLUS. we were blessed with a well scene, in which aphmau had to help villagers out of the well. i don’t know about you guys, but that was one of my favorite nods to the original series. i cannot thank jess enough for that, there was a smile on my face the entire time. another amazing thing--visher’s character. instead of just being introduced to this quirky lil merchant who only had one or two interactions with aphmau like in the first one, we got to sit there and really get a feel for someone worth remembering and worth mourning over. we had a reason to be sad over his death, it wasn’t just some npc getting blown up suddenly. this was different, and this hurt.  one of the major things that i hope is to come out of this is for jess to fix the major mistakes she had when writing the first series. she’d expressed how unhappy she was with some of the decisions she made, and i’m glad that she’s getting that second chance to undo the things she didn’t like. this series also gives her a second chance to really, really dig into characters and their motives. like, gimme laurance backstory in better detail. or like, garroth and zane’s relationship from back when they were kids? or how vylad died and who killed him? etc etc. she’s already done an excellent job so far, and i can’t wait to see where this goes. that is, if she ever continues it. god, i wish there were more episodes so that i could seriously let you guys know how beautiful of a series this is. there’s so much i want to say about rebirth, but i think i’ll stop here. i might say some more shit about it later, but if there’s anything i’d want you to take away from this, it’s: give minecraft diaries rebirth a chance. there’s a lot of potential, and this is a chance for jess to really change things for the better! ... but again, that is if this ever is continued. 

[korra-the-red-lion]

Supergirl 6x13: The Gauntlet.

Hey everyone, Korra here! I actually watched this episode the other day, but I had some home stuff going on and didn’t have time to do my write up. It’s good for now, and here I am! So after the amazing episode last week, how did this one do? Let’s see what I think, and as always, SPOLIERS AHEAD.

Mitch (this is the blue alien guy whose name I literally didn’t know until recently) and Nyxly are going to be together this whole season it seems, and honestly? I’m here for it. They balance each other nicely.

Okay, so Kara has been down in the dumps for the past couple of episodes, and literally when Lena walks into the room she gets this massive smile on her face and runs up to give her a hug. Looks like we’re in for a Supercorp episode and I am here for it.

Kara and Lena head to the Fortress of Solitude, and get to work by speaking to a Kryptonian Witch. Lena is very skeptical of magic, and believes that it’s just energy. Clearly my homegirl was not paying attention to the fire she summoned last episode.

Also remember that Sam was Reign because of these witches, which I guess was never brought up during Sunday brunch.

So I guess there’s this random C-plot about William having PTSD from getting shot from Eve. Look, I guess it’s fine, but why bother? You can do something that was never mentioned until literally this episode with a character that most of us just tolerate at this point, but you can’t do the same for your lead character? Like Kara is still pretty messed up from the Phantom Zone, right? I just...ugh. It’s a waste of time.

Anyway, so the Nyxly literally breaks into the museum in board daylight to steal the totem from there, which had me cackling. Superfriends all arrive in a very stellar fashion and then stand around, which had me laughing for different reasons. Anyway, Nyxly stands around long enough for Kara to go “eff this noise” and blast the totem in half, causing everyone to get whammied by the magic inside, except for Kara cuz she’s just that boss.

Brainy being possessed by Vita was amazing. “Are these my nipples?” and Nia freaking out was so funny. Also, Jesse is such a good actor. He really pulled that whole impression off.

Kara and Nyxly both fail their first Gauntlets and chaos ensues. The poor lady with a dragon lizard just cannot catch a break. Also, great callback to the pilot episode? I loved that so much. Kara is so much more confident in her abilities now.

Alex is over confident, J’onn is willing to be open with his feelings, Nia is a sleepy girl which is a BIG MOOD, and Brainy is willing to fail. I honestly thought this was all great stuff. My favourite is when Kara goes “but Alex is a glass half empty kind of pessimist!” which is how she knew something was up. That was very funny.

Lol, Mitch straight up is like “try killing your bro” and Nyxly is just like “ex-cuse me???” I love this pair.

Lena comes out to find Kara on the balcony, wondering why she failed. She first says one of the softest “hey” I have ever heard in my life. My Supercorp heart melted. Then Kara says, “do you really not believe in magic?” which Lena, being in love with Kara, responds with “I believe in you.” Then adds after one of the most pregnant pauses ever, “and I believe in all of us.” A) Lena, darling, that didn’t answer the question, and B) EEEEEEEEEK. Very good Supercorp moment for this gal right here.

So Kara fails again, whereas Nyxly succeeds this time. Nyxly passed because she had the courage to be emotionally vulnerable to her brother, neato. The show is doing a really good job making her a sympathetic villain. Add her to the list alongside Reign and Agent Liberty.

Oh, so I didn’t mention but there was this scientist lady who wanted to harness lightning and that didn’t work, so she went mad with courage and somehow caused this insane storm. That part wasn’t super clear but who cares, it looks pretty cool. Also, Lena didn’t get affected by the magic blast because she’s a witch. Lena is pissed but she’s got no choice but to believe it now.

So, against her very better judgement, Kara takes the Superfriends to fight off this massive storm that is going to blow out the city. After struggling in vain because J’onn is trying to reason with Dr. Lahr and Alex is saving William’s ass because he’s randomly on scene, Kara just tells Lena to let the totem go. Makes sense, honestly. Gotta do what’s best, which isn’t always what’s right. 

KELLLLLLLLYYYYYYY. Kelly saving Alex is so sweet and amazing. 10/10 amazing entrance, love it.

Supergirl and friends stop the lighting storm in a honestly cool way. Kara makes a quip before she passes out because her and Nxyly are now connected a la Harry-Voldemort style, where they can feel each other’s emotion.

Kelly and Alex have a very sweet Dansen moment at the beginning of this episode, and to finish it as well. Kelly saying she likes scars while making eyes at Alex is everything. I love these two.

The we get a domestic Supercorp moment as well. People, us Supercorpers are being fed tonight! Lena opens up to Kara about being a witch after Kara still is struggling to figure out why she failed twice. Lena says to Kara “you are the epitome of courageous” because she is trying very hard to flirt again and Kara is just missing it. But the two share a very sweet moment where Lena offers to learn magic just to help Kara and Kara accepts it, but declines it as well because like Harry, she thinks that this could be very useful to have.

That’s it for this week. Overall, very happy with this episode. I think besides the kinda useless William C-plot, everything else was great. Great Dansen and Supercorp and even Brainia moments. Next episode, not sure how it’s going to go truthfully but I’m hopeful! Also, Kara is bullet proof and she looks so done with whoever is shooting her haha. It does sounds like a Lena-centric episode, but William also seems to be a focus, so yay-ish I guess lol. Until then!

[mittensmorgul]

Quick question going back to season 10: The woman who wrote The Book of the Damned, Agnes, had "visions of darkness" to write the book, including the spell that broke the MoC. I'm just wondering, where do you think those visions came from? Chuck wouldn't have supplied them, cuz he didn't want Amara getting free, right? So how did those visions get to Agnes?

Hi there! I’ll start by saying that the show has never come right out and said “this is how that happened, specifically.” So it’s up to us to put things together in a way that pleases us best, and meshes with the rest of canon. But this is not the first time this sort of mechanism has factored into the plot.

The way the story is constructed, and the way Dabb especially has been playing with all of canon during his era, has emphasized the relationship between every level of the story mirroring itself. The eternal spiral of the narrative, where each loop of the story itself gathers up themes and problems of the past, but also in-story, underscored by Gabriel in 5.08-- as above, so below.

I don’t know if it’s as much a matter of “Chuck didn’t want Amara to be freed,” but the very construct of the universe relies on this fact that the mundane had mirrored the cosmic, until two brothers and an angel said screw you to the cosmic order and tore up the pages. Ever since then, TFW has been wrenching the universe back around on itself, and every level of the story is now reflecting that. But it goes back even further than that...

I mean, in the original story, mirroring his own personal narrative of locking up Amara, Chuck locked away Lucifer with the Mark, knowing that one day he would be freed, and the Apocalypse would play out as he constructed it to do so. The nature of his own story sort of requires then that Amara would eventually be released, too, you see? And this “locking away” and eventual release is built into every level of Chuck’s narrative.

SAM If there's a key...then there has to be a lock. And when we find the lock, we can get the weapons, and then we can have the weapons. And the lock. We'll still have the lock, I imagine, because we've opened it, and, of course, the initial key.DEAN We need to get all three of that crap.

Okay, back to actual meta here. :’D

I mean, just going back to 4.22, when we saw Azazel murder all the nuns at the Ilchester convent, because that was apparently a place where the Cage was “closer to the surface” and with his sacrifice and spell he was able to communicate with Lucifer in the Cage. It was similarly implied that the nun who created the Book of the Damned carried on a similar communication with some force of Darkness-- be it with The Darkness or with Lucifer or with some other force connected to Amara where she was imprisoned, I’m not sure it’s entirely relevant. None of those theories contradict what we know of canon to this point.

So in the same way that Azazel was able to contact Lucifer, that nun contacted the Darkness or an agent of the Darkness. The very way that Chuck imprisoned Amara having a direct link to Lucifer via the Mark, and the fact that he imprisoned Lucifer in the same way connects their fates. As below, so above.

Whether Chuck “wanted” her free or not, His Story is the story of the entire universe, on every level, and so it must always have played out this way, regardless of what Chuck actually wished for, you know? He’s not all powerful, and he still must abide by his own “rules,” even if he’s the one who made all the rules.

Think about what happened when he was shot with the Hammurabi gun. He wasn’t immune from its effects. He wasn’t able to heal it or exempt himself from the effects of it. He can make up new rules on a whim, but he’s still bound by the direct results of those rules being put into action. And his rulebook has begun to break down now.

Lol, remember in 12.21 how we all collectively rolled our eyes nearly out of our heads over the whole “reversing the polarity” of Crowley’s spell controlling Lucifer? We all wondered what the point of that entire arc was? Well, jokes on us all, honestly, because Dabb has basically pulled that maneuver on Chuck himself...

Drexel: The device, it's cemented directly into your DNA and that of the King's. As it's powering down in you, the polarity is somehow reversing.

and even now, this is literally become the method of Chuck’s undoing...

Castiel: Why would God write the blueprint to His own death?Billie: He didn't. The books write themselves. After God made the world, He couldn't stop. He wanted more. But He needed to create a perfect harmony -- a Swiss watch so that this world could keep tick-tick-ticking in His absence. He had no choice but to build Himself into the framework. It's His only weakness.

“He had no choice but to build Himself into the framework. It’s His only weakness.”

And this goes for all of this sort of thing, throughout canon. It’s not like this is what he WANTS to happen, but it’s literally built into the framework of the universe.

As above so below, and the polarity reversed the second Amara was released...

[entomycetic]

SU AU - The Space Between Us AU (Synopsis)

Figure I may as well post this au here-

ALSO I know this movie came out like. 2 years ago? But uh SPOILERS FOR THE MOVIE ‘THE SPACE BETWEEN US’, this whole thing is just the plot of the movie but rewritten (it’s QPR rather than romantic); also SPOILERS FOR STEVEN UNIVERSE SEASON 1-5

For those that haven’t seen/don’t plan to see it, here’s the movie synopsis: “Gardner Elliot, the first human born on Mars, begins an online friendship with Tulsa, a teen in Colorado. On his maiden voyage to Earth, the 16-year-old finally gets to experience all the joys and wonders of a world he could only read about. Problems arise when scientists discover that Gardner's organs can't withstand the atmosphere. United with Tulsa and on the run, the interplanetary visitor races against time to unravel the mysteries of how he came to be, and where he belongs in the universe.“

LET’S GET STARTED SHALL WE; GRAB SOME POPCORN ‘CUZ THIS ACCIDENTALLY GOT LENGTHY(2k words) AND SAD HAHA (REMINDER THAT THIS IS QPR CONNVERSE, NOT ROMANTIC)

Introduction

Steven Universe is a hybrid son of human and gem, born on Earth- but living his life off planet, in the moon base, ever since that point. Normally, a gem’s lightform automatically adapts to it’s environments, and a Rose Quartz Pink Diamond is certainly a different shape from a newborn human. Steven’s body and his gem, new to this existence, were fighting for dominance in his form. To help alleviate this, the Crystal Gems took Steven and Greg to the moon base; the lack of gravity helped in Steven’s growth and help his gem adapt to the new form (or lack thereof).

The longer he stayed there though, the longer his human anatomy adapted too; his heart enlarged, his bones weak, until he was unable to stay on Earth comfortably for longer than a few days. For 13 years the moon base was his home, the Crystal Gems only taking him to isolated areas on Earth for practice missions, making him wear a face mask; they were afraid his immune system wouldn’t be able to handle being around other humans or animals.

Speaking of his home, the gems took on the task of adapting the moon base to look as much like a human home as they could; they felt guilty for inadvertently confining Steven to such a small space, it was the least they could do. With Greg’s (limited) knowledge, they covered the walls, murals, and floors with wood and plaster, warping in furniture and materials to build in proper electrical systems, water systems, etc. They even built extra floor(s); the base was built for someone the size of a diamond, but Steven didn’t need that as much as he needed floor space to run around. A floor for the living room, bathroom, and warp pad, a floor for the kitchen and garden, and the top conservatory re-purposed as his bedroom. 

Greg frequently visits Steven during the week, considering Beach City has few people needing car washes that often. He comes over slightly less now that Steven is mostly able to take care of himself, but still visits a lot more than canon. The gems’ temple is their base of operations, but they tend to hang out in the moon base if they aren’t off on a mission or doing who knows what in their rooms; it used to be weird for them, but by the time Steven was 10 it became instinct to them to warp there as ‘home’. Amethyst has taken to staying there the most, sometimes just staying there to sleep instead of going to her room; though she has to restrain herself from being the trash lord she is

Because of his lack of interaction, Steven makes many friends online; he’s even set up a curtain around his desk that he can pull behind him, so whenever someone video calls he doesn’t have to explain why it looks like he’s in space. On of these friends he��s made is Connie Maheswaran, a fellow nerd located surprisingly close to Beach City.

Interest Grows

Connie quickly becomes his best friend, hitting it off over their love of books. Steven - knowing very little about normal human life - constantly asks her about hers, living vicariously through her stories. Eventually he explains to her that he’s sick, too sick to leave his house; between the constant curiosity and how often he’s online, she had gotten curious herself. He’s never bonded with another human so well besides his dad, and the fact he can’t visit her severely dampens his mood.

The Gems quickly notice this, trying to help by offering more missions. He learns more about his past and about gemkind, including about his mom’s healing fountain. The Gems and Greg decided to tell Steven that his mom was half-gem, like him, so he wouldn’t feel so alone as a hybrid. He asks if maybe that’d ‘cure’ him, but they tell him there technically isn’t anything to cure; his body simply adapted to his environment, and they were afraid that if it did work, it’d change his anatomy too quickly and end up hurting him even more. Steven saw this as an excuse; he was growing desperate and impatient, and a plan formed in his mind. He became subtly more cold and serious towards the Gems, but joined them as often as he could on missions.

To Earth...

Finally, after months of pushing through the extra work, the Gems planned a mission to a gem site located somewhat near Connie’s city. He texted Connie that he’d see her soon, and taking his cheeseburger backpack, he warped with the Gems to their mission; though he had a different mission in mind. While they were busy fighting the corruption they had found, Steven booked it away from the gem site, running to the nearest bus stop and getting a ride to Connie’s city. She had told him which school she went to, so with the help of confused strangers, he found his way to her school. Finally, the two met in person; on the walk home from school, Steven told her the truth about him and his life; Connie partially believed him considering he had a giant gem embedded in his stomach, but his powers weren’t wanting to work. Steven asked for her help, he wanted to stay on Earth with her, and his best bet was his mom’s fountain. Despite how crazy he sounded, she agreed to help him; she’s been waiting for an excuse to rebel against her parent’s strict scheduling. Besides, how long would it take?

When the Gems finally poofed the corrupted monster and realized Steven was missing, they naturally panicked. Pearl called Greg who used his parental authority to locate Steven’s phone (which Steven kept on him, not realizing Greg could do that) and Garnet used her future vision; between the two, they all hurriedly rushed to the Maheswaran’s house. Turn’s out Steven was either smarter than they thought or just dropped his phone, as they found it sitting on the porch. The Maheswarans were quickly caught up in the situation, realizing their daughter missing at the same time was probably more than coincidence. Garnet’s vision told her that, because he was so curious about the healing fountain, he’d most likely head there. The Maheswarans joined Greg and the Gems in the van, and the party drove off with Pearl’s guidance.

The trip to the fountain took approximately a week, with Steven and Connie hitching rides and taking buses, living off the money Amethyst had given him (”Why do you need all this cash?” “...I wanted to buy stuff off Etsy? Where’d you get all this money anyways?” “Doesn’t matter, it wasn’t being used”) and the money Connie kept in her wallet (her parents insisted she kept ‘emergency cash’ on her, oh how that backfired). They grew closer as friends; Steven fell in love with the Earth and society, and Connie rethought her views on life in turn, her confidence and self-esteem blooming. As they traveled though, Steven could feel himself getting weaker and weaker; his body truly wasn’t able to support him on Earth, to his dismay. He hid it as long as he could, but Connie could tell he wasn’t feeling well as they approached their destination.

...And Back

Connie and Steven made it to the fountain just ahead of the van full of worried adults. The last part of their journey had to be on foot, as there were no roads leading to the small valley hiding their destination. Connie had to support Steven as they reached the overgrown brambles covering the site. Steven was getting desperate, both in wanting answers and needing help for his physical state. The brambles went after Connie; Steven finally proving he at least wasn’t entirely human as he used his shield to cut them off. He put up a bubble around them, collapsing in exhaustion as he protected them from the brambles trying to break through.

The van barely pulled to a stop before the Gems got out and fought off the brambles, Steven finally letting the bubble down. They quickly told the parents to watch the kids as they went to clear the brambles and fix the fountain, the Maheswarans too shocked by the scene to bother yelling at Connie yet, just following Greg in stunned silence. Greg barely registered Connie as he picked up his son and ran after the Gems; Garnet instructed him to place Steven in the empty fountain before running off to help Amethyst and Pearl.

Greg gently laid Steven on the ground with his head propped against his chest; Steven’s physical state was incredibly weak, but he still asked about his mom, trying to get answers while he was able. Greg tells him the truth- Rose was not only a full gem, but that she gave up her form so he could live. Steven thanks him for telling him before passing out, his heart literally being too big to support him. Greg and the Maheswarans were quietly crying as Connie tried to shake him awake, her face panicked (”I believe you now, Steven...you really are a moon boy...c’mon Steven, tell me you told me so”). Greg and Connie were too focused on the wounded boy to notice her parents jumping into the fountain, trying to avoid the brambles that were now coming after them.

Before Steven could take his last breath, the fountain finally flowed over them, the pink water soaking everyone. Greg helped his son float as the CG came running back; everyone waited with bated breath. Finally, Steven coughed and weakly tried sitting up; his body still wasn’t used to the atmosphere, though. The Gems were right about that, at least; his body didn’t seem to need a ‘cure’. He quickly passed out again, but with the reassurance that he was alive, the Gems took control of the situation. While the parents followed in Greg’s van, Amethyst shape shifted into a helicopter and flew Steven, Connie, Pearl, and Garnet to the closest warp pad (Greg took this time to further explain what exactly was happening to Connie’s parents.) 

The Gems reached the warp pad ahead of the van; Connie insisted she came with them, and so did Steven in one of his brief moments of consciousness ; they didn’t have time to argue, so all 5 of them warped to the moon base, to his house. 

Greg helped the Maheswarans follow using his warp flute about 30 minutes later, finding everyone upstairs huddled around Steven’s bed. He had recently woken up with his head in Connie’s lap, and upon seeing the Maheswarans immediately apologized for putting Connie in danger (he had to be told to at least lay back down as he kept talking.) He didn’t mean for her to be gone so long, for her to risk herself for his sake, he didn’t fully understand human society and the complexities of normal life. At his sincere words, the Maheswarans forgave him; Steven protected her, helped her grow, and gave her a friend; they couldn’t ask for a better person to ‘accidentally kidnap’ their daughter (though Connie was fairly grounded for a month; Steven and Connie agreed that seemed kinda fair.)

After a tearful reunion, they decided over dinner that the adults would help the two be able to interact more. Steven would go on more missions, hang out in the fountain, and have a heavier but more regulated integration with human life; Connie would be given her own warp flute and would be able to better adjust to no atmosphere- aka, hang out with Steven in zero gravity. Later this would turn into sword practice and gem adventures, but hey- baby steps, right?

HELLS YEA How’s that? That took- 1.5 hours longer than I thought it’d take to rewrite here lmao OOPS

Also one more reminder that this is QPR Connverse bc my AU my rules; I know the movie was romantic but I ain’t havin it >8)

Anyways ‘The Space Between Us AU’ is too long, I thought about shortening it to TSBU but why do that when it could be BUST AU (EARTH OR BUST, BABEY)-

[dariaslore]

TV Show Tag Game

I wanna thank @darkpoisonouslove​ for tagging me, this looks cool and it’s a great way to save me from boredom, cuz God knows how much am I!

rules: pick 5 shows (idk if it’s enough), then answer the following questions. don’t cheat. tag 10 (or however many) people.

1) Winx Club

2) Lucifer

3) American Horror Story 

4) Glee

5) Dr House

what’s your favourite character from 1?

If I have to pick one, i would say Griffin, her character was always magnetic to me, there’s a whole hidden backstory behind her and you can’t help but falling in love with her stern. I would place next to her Darcy and Valtor.

who’s your least favourite character in 2?

Cain. I hate him and sometimes. At first he wasn’t that bad, I was curious about his story and intentions and relationship with God. During the first episode I thought he had a lot of potential and a some sort of depht to his character: he was the first assassin, a biblical figure, now chasing killer all around LA, isn’it crazy? As the episodes he dropped his good cope facade and turned out to be a ‘’douchebag’’ playing his sick game all along. And nobody can get Lucifer and Chloe to fall apart, never!

what’s your favourite episode of 4?

It’s between ‘’Grilled Cheesus’’ and "Britney/Brittany". The first is really Kurt (my fav chacters) centered, his struggles with his dad illness and founding Jesus face in grilled cheese. . Every characters gets the chance to share his personal view on religion and a very unique way and obv with music. The second one, well, I’m in love with Britney Spears and her songs and being the episode ‘’Britney theme’’ was an instant hit for me.

what is your favorite season of 5?

Season 5. We get to see into Dr House’s mind and psychology even more and it’s simply incredible.

what’s your favorite couple of 3?

Sorry, I don’t have one, except for Violet and Tate there isn’t such a big screen time given to couples, romance it’s not the main feature and if so, the two lovers don’t get to be together due to their dark twisted minds never realizing what they’re in front of it’s their real love, and it’s anthology series, so you don’t get to see all the characters every season, they are (almost) never the same. Btw I like The Countess and Donovan and I ship Mallory-Micheal Langdon for some unknown reasons. 

what’s your favorite couple in 2?

Deckerstar all the way! Look at these two!

what’s your favorite episode in 1?

I don’t remember the titles well, but 3x10 where my OTP was born. 

what’s your favorite episode in 5?

1x21, one of the best and most complex episode of Dr House. 

what’s your favorite season in 2?

The first one. We are introduced to the Devil Himself, Lucifer Morningstar in the best way possible: a black Corvette, a suit, a nightclub of perdition and free will, irony and sass and troubles with the police because, well, there ain’t no rest for the wicked!

how long have you been watching 1?

An extremely long time, I might’ve been 3 or 4, i rly don’t know. Here in Italy was such an huge thing and every girl would watch it. I still remember all the ‘’fights’’ in kindergarten for ‘’who was gonna be who’’ out of the six fairies, all the different dolls and stuff with the fairies’ faces my mom bought me and the event for the first movie. Yeah, it was just crazy but I keep all these moments dearly to my heart. I haven’t watched all the seasons, I’m not planning to, I stopped at season 4 and I rewatched the first three a couple of times and loved’em.

how did you get into 3?

I’ll tell you a story, I’ve been obsessed with magic, paranormal and horror stuff since I was a child and I would sneak into my mom’s bed cause I was too afraid to get killed by the Scream mask. Especially during middle school my bbf and I watched all the horror movies ever made in history, read a lot of books on the matter (my fav being Dracula, I’m always in the mood for a great gothic novel and a hopeless love story) and tried to perform some crazy rituals according to some creepypastas and questionable urban legends. The thing was that my 13 years old self had a liking for witches and she wanted to be one, so she came across this marvelous tv show going by the name of AHS Coven and it was love at first sight. Jessica Lange as Fiona Goode was simply breathtaking and I was captured by her humor and complexity... and she was a witch as well! The aftermath was me bingewatching the newest season every single October of the year.

favorite actor in 4?

Definitely Chris Colfer. His performance was outstanding as for his vocal abilities. 

which do you prefer? 1, 2 or 5?

I love 1, will always be in my heart, but it’s still relevant to me just cause of my OTP (GriffinxValtor) and the Trix, my first approach to witches. I think I’m more into 2 and waiting for the upcoming season. The 5 will always be one of my fav of all times, it did make me passionate about medicine and willing to make it my job, but it ended years ago and I watched it while I was in middle school so yeah. I’m currently watching some other series that would deserve a spot, but there was only 5.

which show have you seen more of, 1 or 3?

1 when I was a child, 3 now that I am a teen. 

if you could be anyone from 4, who would you be?

I guess Santana, i feel like we are similar, idk.

would a crossover of 3 and 4 work?

Yes. They’re both Ryan Murphy’s creation and crossover wouldn’t have been bad since there are some musical scenes scattered around AHS. Both of the series revolves a lot around pop culture, 3 it’s focused on the dark side and horror culture, while 4 it’s way lighter and all about pop music, musical world and pop personalites, but never being shallow, (it does deal with religion, omophobia, bullying and other relevant social issues), and have so well-written characters. The crossover i can think of would be set in a theater, the performers are getting ready for their debut and some crazy stuff starts happening  in AHS style. 

pair two characters in 1 who would make an unlikely but strangely okay couple?

IcyxSky, in some ways and after a lot of drama they could make a nice couple.

overall, which show has the better storyline, 3 or 5?

They are different, AHS doesn’t have a storyline as whole and its strongest point is the characters and their development. I’ll choose 5.

which has better theme music, 2 or 4?

It’s tie between Lucifer and Glee, you can’t pick one, both of the soundtracks are bomb, and one of them it’ kind of a musical.

Tagging: @her-majesty-wears-jeans​, if you want have fun with this, do it! 

[madidraw]

If Stan really loved himself he'd dump Wendy and tell her to fuck off and leave her like the rotten garbage she is! Stendy is abusive and if the genders were reversed it'd be the same as Reylo, abuse only shipped by delusional fangirls who like innocent people to suffer. Terrible women like Wendy who are never punished lead to why MGTOW exists as a movement to liberate men!

Oh boyyyyyyyyyy where to even start

So I let you know, you decided to bug someone who doesn’t mind taking a part in a discourse at all. And oh well, I’m in a mood for rolling down with it so why not to pick up this trash-trap-anon then :DWarning: I didn’t watch the newest season and didn’t yet play TFBW so rip but google helps me with things I don’t knowI’d give you right, I doubt Stan loves himself and it was pictured not once not twice during the whole series. Not gonna argue about that.But where you decided that Wendy is ‘rotten garbage’? Oh that’s interesting. The more that you didn’t even said a word about Kyle in that post, and Kyle and Wendy are very pretty much similar folks :D From what I remember from the show, Wendy tries to help Stan and cares about him (like in that one episode where Stan was hoarding things for example). And her own character? She stands by woman rights, trans rights, fight against Cartman when he decided to make fun of breast cancer. She’s thinking twice before doing things, looking at herself, how she functions in the world, how she wants to function in the world. And when you’re in a relationship, you need to look at your own good too.So what if they are on and off every once in a while. They are like, u know, 10 years old, despite everything. And I know that kids in sp act like adults and adults are invalid but u know, sometimes u see the kids playing in the background with toys. Watching cartoon. Playing make-believe. They are doing with their relationship what they are doing with it cuz they are kids, so lol.UGH but noooww, we got to my absolute favorite part of your ask dear anon. Reylo.So, I dunno if you know cuz I know I have a few friends out there that simply like Reylo - because they fucking can and I won’t try to stop them, I’m fine with it - so I’m not talking a lot about Star Wars on my tumblr. But I’d tell you I don’t remember my life without SW. I was one of the kids who’s parents decided to let them watch those movies ASAP, and often. I remember Revenge of the Sith had a premiere in the cinemas and I remember I was mad that I didn’t go to the cinema for it (I guess I was too little). And oh boy, I fucking hate sequels. Starting with Kylie Ron, ending with Rey-what the fucking fuck way too lot - Skywalker. And I won’t shit on Reylo here cuz once again - I might hate it, but I have friends who like it so I won’t make their night fucking bad. I’ll just write down the facts from the movies.So, let me ask you.When did Wendy mind-torture Stan? When did she decide on purpose to make his life miserable? When she dumped him? Cuz I’d tell you, she didn’t dump him cuz she wanted to mess up with him. She did it for herself - to take care of herself and her needs. When did Wendy and Stan try to kill each other? Fought each other to death, actually?When did Wendy kill Stan’s father figure, mentor, and friends?When did Wendy commit genocide? (actually, lol, I remember Kyle commit genocide, and I guess you don’t have anything against this super-best-friend cuz u didn’t even try to say a word about him, protecting Stan from Wendy so greatly :D).

We don’t see minute-by-minute what happens in south park. But we know that Stan and Wendy do interact. A lot. Of course less than the group of boys do - cuz they are kids and kids usually stick to their own gender-friends. And this is only one of the examples. 

Kyle Ron and Rey don’t interact. We have a few of their interactions by force bond that wasn’t 100% hostile trying to kill each other right away (mostly cuz they couldn’t I guess lol) and basing on ROS there was not any more ‘nice’ interactions between them.In conclusion - I don’t care about what you think of Stendy. I know people shit on this ship but I like it and I don’t fucking care about the fact that you don’t. What I want to ask you tho, is how the fuck did you come up with the idea that Stendy is gender-reversed Reylo. Or how the fuck did you get the idea that if Reylo was gender-reversed it would be ok. Cuz it’s not and would never be, with the things they did to each other.

Please, learn what ‘abuse’ really means before you throw this card-word at somebody. You have no idea how you could actually hurt people by saying things like it. And mostly - just admit you don’t like Wendy and leave her character alone. She doesn’t get enough screentime for your shit.

[xo-dailypier-blog]

[Post 1 of 3]

Wow! What a week. Summer Crush truly took the life of me, and the way some of these hook ups went, it took the life out of you too. 

Instead of giving everyone an entire rundown of the day-by-day events, I took it upon myself to collect the top ten moments that I felt really stood out to ME, The Daily Pier!

TEN.

I should probably start this countdown off with the Noah/Diana/Natasha triangle going on that none of them know that they are a part of. It’s the most heartwarming thing to happen during this event and I LOVE it! Ok, so just to catch you all up to speed, #SinCarter were married once upon a slay. They eloped when they were off being WAR CRIMINALS for the USA or whatever. So once Natasha began to explore her latent homosexuality that she had repressed all these years the two came to the mutual agreement to just divorce. (Also, her sister was dealing with like, a meth addiction, or something, so that probably didn’t help the relationship). So fast forward 10 years and here they are in the same town with TONS of baggage, and unfinished business.

BUT WAIT a new challenger approaches in Diana Taylor. Noah and Diana have been getting pretty close these past view months. Some people have even said that he’s the rebound to that Daniel guy she was dating. I mean, after MONTHS of heavy petting and will they/won’t they, after their Summer Crush date, rumor has it that the two went back to Noah’s place and … well … *fellatio noises*. Obvs this can’t get out because Diana is in the public eye, so don’t tell anyone.

With a new woman in his life, and the old one present with a lot of shit to work out with him, this new season of the Aryan Chronicles looks promising!

As for who I ship? Well, I want to say #SinCarter because the mutual feelings of their past came back full force during this event. And I still ship Olivia/Diana and Diana/Wes. Neither of which will happen because 1.)Diana and Olivia are “”””””straight”””””””” and 2.)Ever since Diana RANDOMLY left New York she’s been keeping everyone at arms length, especially Wes. Who has too much love to give, and doesn’t deserve that. Who’s to say she won’t do the same to Noah?

I’m watching you Diana (if that is your real name).

NINE.

Q: Rexless_Fan asked “Victor and June hooked up in a fantasy suite and they're roommates so now it's awkward and scandy cuz they haven't told their third roommate at all!”

A: IM SORRY, WHAT BITCH??!!

SORRY FOR THE ALL CAPS BUT ARE YOU TELLING ME THAT DURING THEIR MOVIE NIGHT THE POPCORN WASNT ALL THAT WAS POPPIN, BUT HER PUSSY WAS ALSO?!!!!! I KNEW THAT JUNE WAS SECRETLY A BAD GIRL UNDERNEATH IT ALL. SHE PRETENDS THAT SHE ALL PURE AND INNOCENT AND JUST LIKE SIT IN A FUCKING CORNER WITH HER FUCKING BUGS AND FLOWERS OR WHATEVER BUT ANYBODY WHO FUCKS A BACK UP SINGER FOR A MARGINALLY SUCCESSFUL BAND CLEARLY LIVES ON THE FUCKING EDGE!!

I HEARD THE NEWS THAT JUNE, THE DOLL BABY, ARMSTRONG GOT THAT #DIC BUT I DIDN’T BELIEVE IT AND IF WHAT THEY SAY IS TRUE SHE IS INDEED A SCREAMER!!!!!!

COMING IN AT NUMBER NINE IS JUNE, WHO HAD YOU ALL FOOLED INTO THINKING SHE WAS A INNOCENT ANGEL BABY. WEVE DECIDED TO STAN UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE.

EIGHT.

Coming in at number eight is Phobe “Pharrah Abraham” Cole. It’s true, she was on top of things in more ways than one. But who am i to judge? I actually think it’s progressive, and super inspiring. I mean, ok, take this with a grain of salt, Im not really trying to lie but ... Phobe? Phobe has Genital Herpes. It’s been two weeks since a flair up (according to sources close to her) and I think it’s really brave of her to disclose her status with the MYRIAD of men she ENGAGED with during the week. It just goes to show that it CAN be done! I mean, you did tell them ... right Phobe? Moving on! I will say that while did used to ship Jack/Phobe during the night they hooked up but since Jack allegedly only lasted about 4 minutes it makes me wonder about a future with the two. So many girls who have been with him have written in and told me sex with him is ABYSMAL! He spends the entire time looking in the mirror or taking selfies that he refuses to be focused on the matter at hand. Of course this is all a rumor, but would you really put it past our neighborhood beauty queen? But I guess this isn’t about Jack, and his short comings. Anyways...

SEVEN.

Q: SharkThot asked “Hey DP I just want to start off by saying that I love your site, I’ve been a loyal viewer for years! And I hope Myles Bennett sees this because I love him even more! I don’t care what you say about him DP, Myles is my bae and would never do anyone wrong! Ugh, He makes me (Shark)Weak! I did see him earlier last week getting BULLIED by that Stark Bitch. What was that about?”

A: Aww, SharkThot,

I assume you mean Heidi Stark, the elusive chanteuse. Her arrival has caused quite the controversy, considering she materialized out of no where. I guess this particular countdown entry will have more to do with her than the actual question. But for those of you who don’t know, Heidi Stark is Julian’s slightly more attractive sister. Her strong presence is quite intimidating, but according to a lot of sources ... She’s a complete fraud. She speaks in an Australian accent, but some say she’s from, like, Missouri and only picked up an accent for #clout. Her “designer” clothes? Ross (Dress for Less). And she apparently was spotted raiding a bunch of Payless Shoe Stores for the cheapest prices prior to their shutdown, where she then proceeded to paint the bottom of all the shoes she got red. Oh! And the degree she got from that fashion school on New York? FORGED! She totally went to Devry. I mean, it’s nothing wrong with that, but omg, just be honest girl. Anyways, back to the point. The #BabySharks (Myles’ fandom name) were INCENSED when they saw Fraudi CORNERING Myles at the speed dating event. According to by standers she was totally waving her finger in HIS FACE, SHOVING HIM repeatedly before pouring the ENTIRE CONTENTS of her martini onto his FACE! You would think that since he works in the ocean (and is used to having liquids on his face (Golden Showers ... other bodily fluids) ), Myles would have been unbothered by her VICIOUS ATTACK, but it was said that he left CRYING. Poor Guy. (Lol sike i don’t give a fck).

SIX.

Q: Loganista asked “How could you possibly still be loyal to “King Jason” when all he cares about is that CUNT Alex. You know I saw them going into one of those FUCK SUITE when just 2 days ago they hated each others guts. They make me sick. Do you think it’s time to move on DP?”

A: Hey Loganista,

Ugh, same! You know, Logan Lancaster, and BernBern<3 are right there looking all sexy and things of that nature, hmm, so who knows .. perhaps I could move on one of these days. But not now. But speaking of LongDick Lancaster and the #Jalex reunion you mentioned, the #Lolex and #Jalina dates were less than eventful. The two spent the entire time thinking of the other instead of getting to know the people I set them up with. It makes me feel really bad for LDLogan because he is truly such a nice guy but everyone he gets involved with, is using him. Leah totes just uses him as a dick call, and Alex is always using him as a rebound. When she was on the date with Logan all she could talk about was Jason, Jason, Jason. I heard she told Logan that if it were “6 months ago” (when she wasn’t involved with Jason) she would totally be on all fours for him. Which is bullshit, because she totally FUCKED Logan like, two weeks ago when she was mad at Jason. So what’s the truth Alex?

Thank God Alegenda came out of this unscathed. I wouldn’t want a QUEEN like her with court jester Jason. Sadly, she won’t be able to be with Devin like I wanted, since he had sex with Phobe and … well…

FIVE.

Speaking of Jason, another Sorrentino is on the list of topics for tonight. Brooklyn Sorrentino! Ok, so for those of you who don’t know. Brooklyn was seen crying after an encounter with her ex, Grayson Fox. As I’ve said before, they were engaged to being MARRIED, but out of no where, he left her.  So. naturally I did a little more research on she and her GrayBae Fox and what I found blew my wig right the fuck off. Ok, so it is alleged that (Actual) Daddy Sorrentino (that’s Jason/Brooklyn’s dad) PAID HIM OFF because he had no plans of a complete and total LOSER like Grayson dating, and MARRYING, his daughter. So after receiving this unknown amount of money, Grayson left Brooklyn a note saying his Goodbyes. And now … all the have is memories.

OF COURSE I don’t believe this shit! I still think the bitch's pussy stinks, so he didn’t want to wake up to that every frickin’ day of his life. And besides, it’s been how many years? Wouldn’t he have just told her what’s up at this point? Instead of moving into the same town as her, and acting like NOTHING is wrong? And then proceeding to FLIRT with the LIKES OF DAKOTA SONG? Yes! The two were seen getting pretty cozy, locking fingers, playing footsies, and exchanging hair-care regimes during Summer Crush. Poor Brooklyn, first she got beat up by Phobe and THEN we find out she lost her man. What a loser.

FOUR.

Q: AshersBabyMomma asked “STOP making fun of Asher! It’s so mean!!!!!!!! Asher is really trying his best to get by and all you do is pick on him! Us #Ashies will boycott your blog if you do not stop!”

A: Well, you’re in luck because coming in at number __ is Asher himself! 

And you’re right AshersBabyMomma, Asher has surprisingly been on his best behavior recently. Either that, or you demons have managed to make him look like an angel. Honestly? I think I’m actually going to start being nice to Asher. No more calling him things like “Crackhead Asher”, Ashy Lip Asher, Ashy Asher, and more things Of That Nature. He’s really gotten his act together and I’m so proud of him, and even more apologetic for the way I’ve treated him. 

A moment of silence for the old me that used to make fun of him…

…

…Anyways, Asher is an Escort now (as I said before). He totes is fucking [redacted] in exchange for money and drugs (CRACK not included). In FACT, it is alleged that he offered his services to Alec Clarke. Again, this could all be made up, but they were spotted disappearing into a hotel together where they stayed until the sun came up. (#Romantic) Now girl MIND YOU, Alec is Adam’s roomie, and multiple sources have claimed that he is secretly in LOVE with him! Which is a LIE! If Alec IS a MLM then he has WAY better standards than a Tax Evasionista. And I’m sure Asher has better standards than Alec… well … *Hot Dog on a Stick Flashbacks*..

Nevermind.

THREE.

Q: Emrestoplip asked “Ugh but the Yavuz family are all HOT and not problematic unless ur holding out on us DP”

A: Well I must admit they ARE all hot but sadly they are just as problematic as the rest. 

Specifically that Kessa girl. Her Lifetime Original Movie of a life has completely ruined the dynamic of her family. It’s made both Emre and Leyla (her siblings) RESENT her more than they care to admit and thing are sups awkward between all of them. It’s really sad. Funny that this is the entry right after an Adam mention because coming in at number four are both Adam and Kessa. The two were paired for a date and things got Out of Control.

It really has placed Adam on my heart throb list because little did I FUCKING know that Adam knew how to THROW IT DOWN in the bedroom. The two were caught on camera BANGING THE FUCK OUT OF EACH OTHER, FOUR TIMES IN ONE WEEK. Here I thought Adam was the only sane Aldridge, but it was all a SHAM. HES THE WORST OFFENDER!!!!

NOT ONLY is he a BEAST in the SHEETS, he was spotted EATING KESSA OUT on the SIDE of a BUILDING!!! IM LITERALLY SCREAMING! and to make matters worse, Kessa then left him and got eaten out by, one, Marley Callahan. I SERIOUSLY HOPE EVERYONE GOT TESTED AFTER THIS WEEK because you guys are OUT of your MCFREAKIN MINDS.

I guess you can catch Kessa in first AND second service on Sunday now that she got the most sanctified, purified, holyfied COCK of her life. Amen!

TWO.

Q: MackenziesStolenBrushes asked “Any updates on #JaiMac?”

A: This is a great way to almost end this countdown.

For those of you who don’t know Jamie and Cunty Westwood have decided to amend their troubles and get back together. (Yes, the paintbrushes (that Jamie hid) are back in Cunty’s easel, or whateverthefuck.) This might not be the sensational drama that you were expecting to see at the end of this list but I think it’s a great closer. Jamie and Mac are a shining example of a healthy relationship, and I’ve decided they should ALMOST close out the show.

I do wonder if Jamie found out about the times Mac engaged in MULTIPLE hardcore sexual acts with the #DemonDick himself, Julian Stark. They only ended their fling like two days before #JaiMac got back together, so I’m sure they did? Omg not to gossip, BUT, ok,  I don’t know how to say this politely, but ... there was ass eating involved (on Mac’s end … obviously… I mean, look at him...), and a lot of “I love you’s” were shared between the two. Not to mention cuddling. Late night phone calls, texts, and omg I'm pretty sure they were almost a couple.

Anyways, this might have happened before the event, but to see these two going into PRIDE MONTH a happy couple really is iconic and I thank them for deciding to work things out. Love you two! Kisses!

xx

So I’m sure, you’re wondering who Number 1 is ... 

find out tommorrow.

xo, DP.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #178

“for such a little thing, you sure are in your own way.”

What’s your favorite type of bird? Barn owls are actual deities. What was on the last sandwich you ate? Pb & j. What sort of music did you listen to when you were in high school? Same stuff I listen to now, although I had a mild screamo-ish phase. Have you ever gotten back together with an ex? No. How far away is the closest store to your house and what is it? Some cheap dollar store in the town, dunno names. What is your favorite Thai dish? Haven't tried any. When was the last time you made out with somebody? Over a month back. What month of the year was your mother born? August. Are there any candles in your bedroom, and what scent are they? No. What TV show(s) have you been watching currently? None. How many apps do you have on your phone? Six. My phone has so, so little storage ugh. Have you ever dated a smoker? If not, would you? No to both. Are there any movies you’ve seen so many times? Yeah, sure. Of course a lot as a kid, Finding Nemo and The Lion King 1 & 2 especially, then I've watched both Blair Witch Project movies a lot, Jim Carrey's How the Grinch Stole Christmas... How would you describe your sense of humor? Sarcastic. What’s your favorite type of bread? Pumpernickel. Do you share a middle name with any of your siblings? Yeah. Have there ever been any brushfires/wildfires in your area? Yeah. What did you have to eat for dinner last night? Nothing (Thanksgiving was lunch). Do you have separate emails for personal and business? No. Have you ever missed a flight? Yes. Do you know your significant other’s passwords? No, I have no reason to. Would you like to study abroad one day? No. Does someone have a crush on you but you don’t feel the same way? Idk. Who do you feel most beautiful around? Sara. /v\ What’s one makeup item you cannot live without? I could easily live without any. Is there one thing all of your ex’s had in common? All guys. Did you french kiss before you were 16? No. Imagine your spouse just died; would you get re-married? I don't know if I would. Like... I'd never stop loving her, so "moving on" to someone else just because she's no longer physically here would feel disloyal. What’s your favorite thing about life? New, fun experiences and creating strong bonds with people like you. Who pays for the first date? Idrc, but probably whoever proposed the date? Or split the bill? Have you ever had a friend that got a bf/gf, and then completely ignored you? Yeah. Do you play any computer games, if so, what ones? Not currently 'cuz my gaming laptop has to be fixed. :| When it is and I have my own income, I might return to WoW, but I'm not sure. I think the subscription is kinda high, and I have more important things to handle. What is the funniest movie you’ve ever seen? Idk why I find White Chicks so goddamn funny. What lyric means the most to you? Off the very top of my head, "A bloody war behind my eyes; I'll come all right on the other side" from "Free" by Mother Mother. Really makes me think of all I've been through but how I keep coming out stronger. Who is the smartest person you know? Girt. What’s the next movie you will see in theaters? Idk. Are you adopted? No. What band do you like that most people hate? You canNOT look me in the face and say you don't like at least one Nickelback song. I don't get the hate. Any new bands that you actually enjoy? Oh idk. What is your escape from reality? RPing. Do you have any self-inflicted scars on your arms? You can only just barely see them. Do you like “scene” hair? YEAH AND I ALWAYS FUCKING WANTED IT BUT I COULD NEVER POSE IT CORRECTLY 'CUZ MY HAIR WAS TOO THICK AND HEAVY. Have your parents ever been to jail? No. If your friend asked you to hold their drugs, would you? Definitely not. Does it scare you when a relationship moves too fast? Y E A H Would you ever consider hitchhiking? I don't know if I would even in a desperate situation... I don't trust people. Have you ever hitchhiked? No. Have you ever been to a music festival? No. What color car do you want to have? Burnt orange. Would you rather hike a mountain or explore a cave? Explore a cave!!! Would you rather wear a flower crown or veil? Probably a veil? Do you believe peace on earth is attainable? I honestly don't believe so. What type of tattoo do you want? s o  m a n y What is your favorite insect? Butterflies. Would you ever live in the desert? Nooooo. Fuck the heat. Is your town beautiful? I don't really live in one, but the closest town isn't. Which season do you want to get married in? Autumn. Are totem poles cool? YEAH! Favorite art forms? Conceptual photography. What kind of music do you enjoy? Plenty sorts of metal, rock, and alternative. Do you have any gay friends? Yeah. Where is your favorite place to go? The zoo, even though I have mixed feelings about them... Do you know your dad? Yeah. How often do you get on Facebook? At least once a day. Are you related to anyone who’s in prison? Don't think so?? What concerts are you attending in the near future? Y'ALL I MIGHT FUCKING SEE OZZY IN JANUARY. He and Megadeth are coming to Charlotte and the tickets aren't too bad. :') It's a loooong drive but Mom was like "hell yeah" when I told her and wants to buy tickets after she gets her tax return AH. Metallica is a possibility too, but Mom doesn't think she can afford it. If you were kicked out of your house, where would you go first? Dad's. What are you currently looking forward to? Sara's b-day, Christmas, hopefully getting my laptop fixed, aforementioned concerts, and school. What was the reason you got grounded for last? Idk, that was a long time ago. But most likely for "talking back" to Mom. The last two people you kissed, are they virgins? Yes; probably not. Is there a guy that knows everything or mostly everything about you? Yeah. Do you sleep on a certain side of the bed? A bit to the left. If you could have anything delivered to your doorstep each morning, what would it be? Um,,, money?????? What is one vacation destination that many people think is just fabulous but which you personally have no desire to visit (or revisit)? New York City. Heard from my sister it's a shithole with the craziest and rudest people known to Planet Earth. I'm not big on cities, anyway. Which animated character is your all-time favorite? Uhhhhhh... Dory, maybe? If you could own a home on the shore of any body of water in the world, which waterfront would you choose? I WANT THE PINK BEACHES OF THE BAHAMAS. But I'm scared of the Bermuda Triangle so will probably never see them. :'''''') What serves as the greatest motivation for you in your daily life? MY RECOVERY. If I got through what I have, I can't ever give up and roll back down that hill. I'm focusing to always improve. If you could have any round object in the world, what spherical item would you want? t h e  g a m e s p h e r e ,  l a d s If you were left alone for one hour with nothing more than a pen and a notepad, what would you be inclined to draw or write during those 60 minutes? Practice eyes or start a poem. If you could witness anything at all in super-slow motion, what would you want to see? Hmmm... OH, maybe a big cat's tongue licking meat. See how it actually shears tiny bits off. Cats' tongues are cool. What do you forget to do more often than anything else? Take my anxiety med at the right time. If you could teach everyone in the world one skill, what would it be? Compassion. You’ve been offered the chance to paint a billboard along a highway with any message you choose, as long as it’s only 10 words long. What is your message? Oh jeez, I'd have to think too hard on this. Who’s the last guy to give you roses? Tyler. Did your parents do drugs when they were younger? Not to my knowledge, and I doubt they would've. Do you have any relatives who live on a different continent than you? I don't believe so. What are your religious beliefs? Were you raised with those beliefs, or did you develop them on your own? I'm a theist, entailing I believe in a creator, but I know nothing about him/her/it. I personally picture them as a peaceful and sage deity that allows life to go on without it intervening anywhere, letting the world evolve on its own and see how we adapt to our unique settings and handle life. In the end, I believe we are either given some form of paradise or a type of damnation depending on how you wrote your story. I like to imagine the good go to their personal vision of "Heaven," and I wonder if the paranormal activity some experience in life are the acts of the damned, apparently confined to remain on Earth or something. Anyway, I wasn't raised with such beliefs; they were developed. I was brought up Catholic, then I turned to just simple Christianity as I didn't agree with a lot of Catholic ideas, and most recently I abruptly turned away from that in favor of theism. How did you and your significant other celebrate your last anniversary? We went out for breakfast. What has been your favorite house/apartment/etc you’ve ever lived in? My last house for location, as a house itself, my childhood one. What’s something in your house that currently needs to be cleaned? I need to vacuum my room. Do you still remember any of the dreams or nightmares you had as a child? Yup. What’s the most bizarre conspiracy theory you’ve ever heard of? The world is donut-shaped. Yeah. Do you have a good sense of direction? Not. At. All. Who was your first crush? Did you ever actually date them? Dylan, and no. What’s the weirdest, rudest, or most ridiculous thing a guest has ever done in your home? Who knows. Has anyone ever told you you’re manipulative? I don't think so. Do you know anyone who owns their own business? No. When was the last time you weren’t 100% sober? Uhhh maybe that movie night with Colleen and Chelsea. Is obtaining a college degree something that is important to you? Well, for my possible career future. Have you ever eaten at a vegan restaurant? No. Do you view substance abuse as a disease or a choice? I have... mixed feelings here. Starting something, that is indisputably a choice. Becoming addicted though, I'm not sure. Some people have addictive personalities so have a bigger inclination to become addicted, but isn't that just a personal trait/weakness you can fight?? I dunno. I know it's labelled as a disease by people way more informed than me though, so. What does the last text you sent say? Don't feel like checking. Does it bother you when people call you ‘ma'am’ or ‘sir?’ No. I live in the South, that's polite. Have you ever been obsessed with a television character? Does Dory count for movies? ha ha Do you ever wish you had powers of invisibility? Not really. What was the last thing that changed your life completely? Recovery. Do you have any step siblings? One. Have you ever been questioned by the police? No. In which state/country were you born? NC, U.S.A. Have you ever been to an amusement park out of state? Disney World. What do you normally drink when eating at a fast food restaurant? Coke or Mountain Dew. Have the police ever been looking for you? Not because I did something wrong; I've told the beach story a few times. If you chew gum, which kind is your favorite? I love the watermelon Hubba Bubba one asjfawoeu Have you ever kissed someone of the same sex? Yeah. What was the last liquid that you choked on? Water, just this morning when I was taking my meds ah. How many times did you wake up today before actually getting up? Well, I woke up once in the middle of the night like usual, then I woke up at like, 6-something and went back to sleep. Who did you celebrate your last birthday with? Mom, sises, Ash's husband and kids, and Dad stopped by. Was your last kiss initiated by you or the other person? I think it was kinda a simultaneous thing. We were saying bye. Do you buy a ton of things at the store at once or just for that day? Mom does the shopping, but it depends on how much time she has and what's at the house. When getting dressed do you put your pants or shirt on first? Pants. When you kiss a person where do your hands usually go? I actually don't know if it's a consistent thing for me??? I don't kiss anyone regularly so I don't recognize a pattern. What is one song you listen to that you’re sure not many people do? "False Flags," probs. Massive Attack is so neglected of the attention they deserve. Do you use a handrail on stairs if there is one? Yes, I'm scared of tripping. What was the last thing you saw that made you smile? Teddy came right up into my face wanting attention. What is your favorite drinking game? Never played any. Do you have any tattoos that you don’t like anymore? I think I've mentioned why I don't love my "ohana" one now. I'm getting it covered at some point. My "perfectly flawed" one is probably getting covered by a much bigger piece; I picked a bad location for it to want a sleeve. I'd just maybe redesign it, put if somewhere else. Do you have a shower curtain or door? Curtain. Who was the last person from your high school graduating class you saw? Probs Colleen? Who was the last non-relative you hung out with? Sara. Are you listening to anything right now? I'm way too obsessed with "Black Wedding" by In This Moment (feat. Rob Halford). Rob makes it, and the chorus is awesome. How many keys are on your keychain? One. Who was the last person you took a photograph with? Ryder, my nephew. Are you left handed? No. What were you most scared of when you were little? Losing my mom/being separated from her. Are you biracial? No. When was the last time you painted your nails? What color(s)? I couldn't even guess. Has a stranger ever offered to buy you a drink? Thank fuck no. Have you ever overflown a bathtub? Don't think so. What’s at the top of your to-do list in life? Stay positive, never stop aiming to improve. What was the last thing you shared? Well, Thanksgiving food. Where are you most ticklish? Feet. Do not- Which cartoon character do you want to keep as a pet? Uhhhh how 'bout an Espeon. I imagine them to be calm and silently affectionate like cats and very intelligent. Have you ever considered a career in music/acting? No. When was the last time you felt seriously embarrassed? Getting food yesterday. Per usual, let things die down, but I still ended up crammed in a corner, unable to go in any direction while someone was trying to get past me. I was headed for an anxiety attack and felt like a total nuisance. I'm pretty sure it showed in how I was whipping my head around, shuffling in various directions, clearly wanting the fuck out. Have you ever liked a song, looked up the lyrics to it, then hated it? No, lyrics can't ruin a song I like the sound of. What would be the icing on the cake for you this Christmas? A PS4, omg. I have to get my laptop fixed and a new camera, so I highly doubt I'm getting that or a tablet considering cost. I want to play the Spyro Reignited trilogy beyond words, like I refuse to even watch a let's play because I want to experience it all first-hand, but. Yeah, unlikely anytime soon. If you had the opportunity to live forever, would you take it? Noooooo. Do you like quesadillas? Only chicken and/or cheese ones. Did you like the show Invader Zim? I surprisingly never saw it. What’s the greatest/most influential song you’ve ever heard? "Life Won't Wait" by Ozzy always makes me wanna get off my ass and do something. What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever seen in a grocery store? A HUGE BOX OF ANIMAL HEADS IN THE MIDDLE OF WAL-MART, BECKONING THE FURRIES INTO ITS DEPTHS. Have you ever bought yourself a present on Christmas? No. Well, I've used money I've been given on Christmas, if that counts. Have you ever been on a mechanical bull? No. Do you need a key card to get into the building you live in? No. Have you ever stepped in chewing gum? Yes. Name all the people you know that you’ve seen today. Just Mom.

[periperimommy79-blog]

Don't give up

This is my first scribble - knowing me it'll be a novel sized scribble, apologies -, and it will be about my breastfeeding journey in the UK.

Nothing I write should be considered medical or professional advice, it is only my personal experience and loads - no, really, LOADS - of researching the internet (even translating Spanish, Italian, French and German articles - thanks Google). And of course my final conclusion on the matter. Which is: do not panic or stress, relax and it will fall into place. Emotions are more important than I believed before. Mind over matter? Sure. But heart and soul over mind. Always. So do not despair as it will hold you back.

My journey began in May 2013 when I've truly understood love, holding my baby girl for the first time❤. I was set on breastfeeding and never gave it a second thought. I believed it was the natural way, so formula feeding was a choice for those who did not WANT to breastfeed.

5 days after her arrival we were back in hospital as my little angel lost over 16% of her birthweight. When we talking of a 6.8 lb baby that is a lot.

She wasn't getting fed enough, probably was getting some as she managed to stay hydrated... just above the ouchy line, but not enough to sustain her weight.

So we were told to supplement after offering the breast. She needed to get stronger to be able to suck properly, as feeding on the breast takes a lot of energy, especially if the reward is near nothing.

I was devastated. It felt like I've failed my baby. I kept beating myself up for starving my child. Up till today when I look at her early pictures my heart goes out to that baby with so much pain and sadness in her tiny eyes. I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive myself for not pressing harder when my instinct told me something was wrong after 2 days. As a new mum I was not given credit by the seasoned professionals visiting us every day for 5 days when I said she sleeps too much, she doesn't eat only goes on for a few sucks then falls asleep. Her latch was checked and seemed good, so I was labelled a worrier. Until the day 5 weight check when our world collapsed.

Not for a moment did I want her to starve any longer but I also wanted her to get breast milk. So I've followed professional advice. Increased and increased then increaed the formula again and kept offering the breast before each feed. Also followed the set time for feeding, every 3 then 4 hours, and so on as she grew.

Tried expressing after feeds as well, but it was a disaster and disheartened me even further. The lack of milk when expressing made me accept that I am one of those women who just can't produce milk. It happens. It's not my fault. It's just how it is. I gave exclusive breast feeding my best shot and by offering the breast until she was 6 months old I did give her the "best of both worlds".

5 years down the line I can see where I went wrong. In November 2018 my little man arrived. He was a surprise: we were trying for nearly 5 years with no luck, then decided it isn't happening for us, sold all baby and toddler stuff. Was about to sell the nursery furniture when we found out about him 😊 everything else had to be bought again 🙈

What did I do different?

1. With my girl we had help, honest help, but untrained and unexperienced help from lovely people. If you want to breastfeed and it's not working, having professional help is important. Finding the right one is key. With our son we had picked up on the "not enough milk" on day 3. Again, started formula topups. We were upping it to 30ml each feed and he wa gaining well so we stopped the topups. Then weighed him 3 days after. He lost weight again. Back to formula. Gaining again, decrease formula. Baby lost weight again. Hospital as his weight is up and down. We know why but go in anyway. So luckily we went. And met 3 amazing and experienced feeding specialists.

Turns out if you look at an already latched baby feeding you will not be able to establish if the latch is good or not. You'll need a feed observed from start to finish to tell. He wasn't latching properly. So with help and instructions he was latching fine after 5 hours of trying. He fed with big gulps for 10 minutes on each breast then followed with lots of sucks and fewer swallows on each. We were in there for 2 days, BF, express, topup. I felt more sure of myself when we left and very greatful for "my 3 angels" and their knowledge.

2. Have support. With my girl I had the understanding and backing of our family - I was shaken of what happened and feeling an utter failure. But I was not pressing breastfeeding, scared of her losing weight again I accepted formula as the only way.

With my boy I decided I will not give up as I did with my girl. Unfortunately my partner and our family did not believe I can breastfeed and my partner was very agressivly against it - being told I'm selfish for trying to breastfeed, that I rather starve him than accept that I will never have milk and the best one: he'll call social services if I don't give up the idea of not giving him formula - not the support I needed.

His whole family gave me the cold stare for carrying on and even my own mother said just give him the bottle and spend the time gained with my daughter. Emotional pressure...hmmm, mother knows best. Good thing I'm now a mother too, so took the tiny gold out of this comment and spoke to my girly, explaining what and why is mommy doing what she's doing. I swear that little girl is more supportive than some of the adults close to me.

So I ignored all negativity, got courage from 3 of my friends and told my other half if he can't be supportive then at least keep his mouth shut and stay away from me as stress has serious negative effects on my supply. He stayed away and kept his mouth shut and I've carried on. It was hard times. To carry on and not give in. Even harder that the people I expected to back me had turned their back.

So surround yourself with people who raise your spirits, who will assure you and make you believe that you can do it. Ignore the nay sayers. It is your baby and body, as long as you're both safe you call the shots and do what feels right.

3. Research. Knowledge is power. Gather as much info, as many tips and methods as possible. Watch videos, read, go on forums and ask questions. Find groups. Shape all info so it fits the two of you.

With my daughter I just accepted what I was told by the professionals in the hospital and after we left it. I did not know of other moms who struggled but succeeded. I did not know there are ways to try to increase milk supply. I did not know I was breaking the demand and supply ring by increasing formula and not boobie time.

With my boy I was constantly reading, watching, getting in touch.

What worked for us? These:

1. Did not follow rules of timed feeding.

Yes, I've kept to the 3 hrs with him, but only that I didn't let him go longer than 3 hrs between feeds. Not even at night. Not until he was gaining weight well. If he wanted to eat 30 minutes after he came off the breast then I've put him back on.

Ever heard of supply and demand? SOOOO TRUE! When your baby is sucking for 3-5 hours non stop (cluster feeding)? Or eating for 1 hr then 40 minutes break and another hour session aaaand repeat? They just ordering their meals ahead. Telling your body they need more. Let them.

When we were topping up with over 30ml formula, I did it in smaller portions during his cluster feeding periods which were always evening meals - 60ml topup: 2x30ml or 3x20ml and put him back on the boob in between. It is time consuming, but works. Sometimes he refused the last portion cuz he was too tired/full. If it was only one meal, I let him skip that formula amount.

2. I started expressing only after his last feed before his big sleep each night. It saves time during the day and I can sleep more during the night. It is app. the same time each day, so my body is expecting it.

Now I can get 3x as much out as what I've staryed with. He drinks this still as a topup after his last meal of the day the next evening. Past few days he doesn't even drink it all and it makes me happy! They're hungrier in the evenings - getting filled up for longer time to sleep - and if he refuses his favourite meal with the easy access (he prefers breast milk over formula, but prefers the bottle to the breast as it is easier) must mean he had enough already 😀.

3. I had looked at pictures of how my breast is built up, where he needs to press to get the milk going.

I finally understood that I did have milk, even with my daughter - she kept sucking for 6 months and never took more than 90ml of formula, looking back I was such a fool not to realise that she wouldn't have gained weight as well as she did on 360ml of formula a day - they just could not get to it efficiently.

Once I worked out where his mouth needs to be on my aerola I looked for ways to put it in. It sounds funny, but my aerola is rather large and his cute mouth is so little, so he needed help to "stuff it in". Now he doesn't need it as he learnt to do it himself as well as his mouth is a bit bigger.

4. Made myself realise, understand and trust that I have enough milk for my baby and stop worrying over it.

I looked for proof and reminded myself every time I started to doubt myself again (maybe because a look from other half, or baba wanting to eat and eat - not because I did not have enough now but because he will need more soon so he is ordering) that I have milk. So when he was gaining on 420ml formula a day until he was 7 weeks old I convinced myself and reduced the amount to 360ml. Then 300ml. Always checked his gain. Now we're 180ml a day and reducing. And he is gaining.

It was hard not to increase formula as suggested by some people, but I knew he is safely gaining and worse case senario he will not gain enough, but he will not lose weight again, even if my supply decreases or can't keep up with his demand.

5. Stopped timing our feeds. I take note of the bottles still - will do until they're out of the picture -, but not of how long he is on each breasts. It is not important. I'll put him on when he asks. And because he is gaining he will ask when he is hungry because he has the energy to let me know. He will now not sleep if he's hungry no matter what I do. Dare to go shopping too long and the roof comes down!

This way feeding feels natural, not a must do thing which commands my day and full attention. I even enjoy it now, that I relax. No clocking in and out 😊 honestly? This is one of the best feelings other than seeing the numbers go up on the scale and down in the bottle.

Do not get me wrong. I have nothing against formula, we're lucky that is available. I do not judge anyone who chose to formula feed their LO. Mixed feeding has it's advantages as well. Not the way I am doing it now, but when you replace meals with a bottle to gain some time off boob duty.

But to me exclusive breastfeeding is the end game, so at mo formula is an unwanted must.

I will stop here for now, my eyelids are getting glued at each blink.

[lizacstuff]

Anons 7x06

Lots of anons in my inbox, a few under the cut. The tone of most asks is not complimentary towards the season or episode, you have been warned. 

Anonymous said:Seems like there must not be a lot of Regina fans out there, despite the ER making a lot of noise. Demos held steady. 

I wouldn’t count those numbers before they’re hatched.  Sound like the show was preempted in certain markets (Boston, a huge DMA, for one) so the numbers should be adjusted for that when the nationals come out on Monday. Right now OUAT is getting credit for whatever replacement programming the affiliate put in it’s place. 

Anonymous said:I'm seeing that for some areas the episode got pushed back till early Saturday morning. Do they take into account when figuring out the ratings? I'm already seeing ERs complaining about it and saying if the ratings are bad that's the only reason why. 😒

See above. The overnights (today's ratings) include viewership for whatever aired in OUAT’s place.  Monday they should adjust to reflect more accurately how many people watched the actual episode. They are right, though, in it negatively impacting the live numbers. However, it shouldn't really impact the L+3 or L+7 numbers. 

Anonymous said:Is it bad that I laughed outloud when I saw that Regina gave everything Ivy she needed to cast her curse? Just like the time Regina pushed Lily too far and she turned into a dragon and endanger the town? Or the time she told Zelena to go after Hades and change him and refused to listen to anyone's concerns and everyone almost ended up trapped in Hell? I'm surprised the writer's still don't see the pattern like fans do.

Even without malicious intentions, she’s a disaster who ruins everyone’s lives. It’s bizarre that the writers continually follow the pattern, but never have Regina question her own judgement when she’s doing it. Whatever else happens, Regina makes emotional, unilateral decisions that usually end up biting other people in the ass. 

Anonymous said:Why would Regina stop henry for having a tlk with jacinda to break the curse? they don't have chemistry but they have been written as tl, at least make them kiss to destroy this stupid season one for all

Because Ivy did something, that Regina remembers, that will put the people that Regina “loves” in jeopardy if the curse is broken.  We don’t know who is in jeopardy or how. 

Anonymous said:So the reboot it's all Regina's fault? Why am I not surprised? Having Henry all for her and without snowing and captain swan, obviously a villain like her was behind this

Regina isn’t being purposefully villainous, but her stupid choices have landed them in this position.

Anonymous said:So regina thought she never adopted a child and its now forced to live with him not knowing her and can't break the curse?? Also her soulmate still dead and she is away from sb and her "family"&"friends"? Hahahahahaha karma is a beautiful thing!!! So she is alone and miserable and childless? Jefferson, snowing of the early seasons and the whole ef1 is laughing and partying

I suppose she is getting a little bit of karmic retribution, but I wouldn’t consider her knowing Henry is her adult son, and still being close to him even though he doesn't know, as quite the same thing as orphaning Emma and Snowing missing out on raising her or knowing her for 28 years.  

Anonymous said:Its weird since I thought Shoe Believer had an okay start in the beginning. It wasn't anywhere near CS or Snowing but they were still okay. With every episode they just feel more and more dull and forced.

I always thought it was forced, particularly in the pilot, but I thought it might grow as the season progressed. I’m not feeling it.  They are telling us it’s true love, not showing us.  Unlike CS, Snowing or RB where we saw those relationships develop over time, this feels completely unearned, and a TLK would be like  Zades or Red Warrior where it feels like complete out-of-nowhere nonsense.  CS had to go through multiple seasons of trials and tribulations, both proving they would go to the end of the world or time for one another, before the show would even whisper True Love at them.  The writers have lost their mojo when it comes to writing a love story.

Anonymous said:After this weeks episode I'm more thankful than ever that Regina is far away from Captain Swan and everyone in storybrooke. They don't need to suffer the consequences of someone who has failed as a queen and a mayor.

Honestly, it being canon that Regina and Rumple are out of Storybrooke, is the silver lining to S7.  

Anonymous said:I’m kind of confused , since 7x02 I’ve been trying to keep up with show . But I haven’t been paying that much attention ( I usually just put it on the tv while I’m on my computer or something, so it’s really just background noise ) but I do have a question, who is that hag in lady tremaine’s basement thing ? And also ..... can you list the people who are aware that there was a curse / who’s now awake . Cuz I can’t keep up

That’s the witch.  Right now I think the only characters awake are Ivy, Regina, and sometimes Alice when she isn’t on medication.  I could be wrong though, because my ability to stay focused during this show has not been great. 

Anonymous said:I stopped watching s7 after 7x02 but as someone who still watches it/keeps tabs on it do you know if the timeline is explained like now that Lucy is born and is 10 years old does that mean captain swan's child is around that age or is Emma still pregnant cause time moves differently?

They haven’t really answered that question yet as far as I know. My gut is that very little time has passed in Storybrooke and as we speak Captain Swan is preparing for their baby. But that’s my gut, not fact. 

Anonymous said:I'm so mad - this was the last drop for me with this show. I have been watching S7 for Colin (I'm a Nielsen family and my viewing does count for the ratings) but what they had Henry say last night was the last straw. Swan Believer and their amazing dynamic in season 1 was what kept me watching the show (until CS came along ) and to have to see the writers IGNORE what was once the backbone of the original show (Emma/Henry) to prop an abusive mother/son relationship is absolute bullshit.

cont - previous ask about Swan Believer. I feel sorry for Colin and for the cast and crew, but from now on I will not be watching the show anymore. Nothing about it excites me/makes me happy. It feels like a chore. And these writers do NOT deserve to get renewed nor to get anymore chances to ruin their own canon of what was once a beautiful show.

Describing it as a chore is pretty spot on. I understand you wanting to watch for Colin (especially as a Nielsen household) but you gotta do what’s right for you.  That line seemed completely unnecessary. There were a lot of ways they could have had a nice mother/son moment without going there. 

Anonymous said:I just saw a gifset of Regina waking up from the curse. So that's really the reaction she chose to go with? She really hasn't seemed to grasp the subtleties of acting, has she?

No, she has not. However, I have to say that Lana’s acting as Roni in Hyperion Heights this episode was the least of the episode’s problems. 

Anonymous said:Did you see any of Lana's answers to her fans on Twitter? Besides laughing at the idea of her wanting to do a remake of Silence of the Lambs and play Clarice, when she was asked what she's learned from Bex she said that red heads have more fun than blondes. I imagine in this situation you answer these questions quickly and don't contemplate on your answers, but wow did that seem like a dig. And if you look through the comments all of her rabid fans seemed to think so too and were loving it.

I thought a more accurate tweet would have been  “Red heads kiss my ass better than blondes."  ‘Cause Bex has had her lips permanently affixed to her ass for years now, just the way Lana likes it. 

Anonymous said:I'm indifferent about Wish Hook, and I wouldn't mind if his daughter was Alice and they got a storyline together, but they got nowhere in this episode? And going by the promo, the mess of the wish realm strikes again as Wish Hook was realm-traveling apparently. How did a non-wish Rapunzel from a separate realm come across someone who didn't exist until present-day 6x10? This is unexplainable.

Do we know that Rapunzel is from a separate realm and not from the Wish Realm?  It would be unbelievable to think that WishHook left the WISHAU before it was created with EQ’s “wish” in 6x10.  I think looking for any sort of logic or even in-universe fairy tale logic to make sense of anything to do with the WishRealm, including WishHook, is an exercise in futility.

It simply doesn’t make sense, and each episodes they change the rules to accommodate anything they want to do.  Of course I think it’s nonsense, but I’d still rather this and have CS safely tucked away from this ridiculous season, than have them using the real Hook this season.  Because honestly I don’t care about the integrity of the storytelling in S7, I only care about CS. (though that doesn’t stop me from poking fun at it.)

Anonymous said:I honestly was not one bit surprised when Colin said he was still under contract this season, but at the same time I do believe he enjoys playing this character and I'm sure he feels loyal to the show, it has been his big break. But I have to believe with the storylines and the material he's given, if not already, then by the end of filming he'll probably be in the same mind frame as Bobby. 100% only there for a paycheck. I just hope his agent is actively seeking better opportunities for him.

We really don’t know what he’s thinking or feeling, but low ratings have got to affect things on set in some way, so it sucks if he’s in any kind of stressful environment.  Even if it’s just them getting pressured to send out scripted PR tweets for each episode. On the upside, other than 7x02, he’s been in these eps so rarely, that I’d guess he’s not working more than 1-2 days per episode, which probably means a lot of time that he can be home with his family and newborn.  It might be a blessing for them right now. As I said we can’t know, but I just wish the best for him and his future career.

Anonymous said:Was there something wrong with the Rogers' scenes? I thought they were pretty decent, especially his interactions with Alice.

To all my anons wanting to know about Rogers scenes, you’ll have to come off anon if you want to chat about it. 

[survivorbehemoth]

Episode #1: “brb gotta go to dinner” - Logan

This is literally the worst possible outcome, I would know the 10 fkers on the other tribe and only know of like 2 people on this tribe, sayonara it's a wrap a mere 5 minutes after the cast reveal concluded.

Omg! So this game started and i landed on a short witches tribe.. Maybe we are short but the humor around Helgamine is definitely tall. Love my tribemates! They are a bunch of really chill and fun to talk to people. At this stage of the game my goal is to get a good grasp on the already existing pre-game relationships within people. This knowledge will allow me to know what to say and to who. Other than that i'm focused on developing bonds with people without approaching them with gametalk. A pretty slow start for me, i don't need at all to jump into making alliances left and right. It's the beginning so its important to just leave a good (and non threatning) impression on my  tribemates.Those people seem to want to CALL a lot during the day JASHDKGAHD and i'm still exhausted from study group calls for exams so.. i'm not gonna be trying to do a lot of that. I'm however really excited for what's this game is going to bring up <3

_______________________________________________________________

Gonna do my own first impressions as well, to put some of my thoughts together.

Daisy - oh how i love her.. She's so positive and adorable. We have a pending plan for a call and I'm really looking forward to it. She's more experienced in discord ORGs than me and we are both BaR winners so.. we gotta work together. At least for now. She seems like someone that would be a bigger threat than me down the road.. I feel like we have a potential to work together well and I'd want to establish a duo with her and be partners in crime in this tribe. <3

Scott - OMG the only person in this whole cast that i actually knew before this game? we didn't talk in like 4 years but when i saw him in this cast i literally gasped. I enjoyed catching up with him and he is definitely someone i could see myself aligning with. Yesterday we shared each other concerns about a mention of alliances and alliance calls. And neither of us  introduced gametalk with other tribemates. He also mentioned that he wants me to be his #1 in this game. And i'm digging that!

Rob - OKAY our conversation on day 1 was p much awkward.. We have a mutual friend from the fb org and he was mad at me for winning an ORG over her and he literally didn't hestitate on letting me know that.. But we talked a lot yesterday and found out many common interests. He wants us to be like Fenella and Shonee and i mean why not? I really like talking to him but i'm not sure if i can trust him yet. He's the first person that reached out to me about doing a call and we did one today LMAO i had a lot of fun. He's definitely very social so keeping him as close as possible to me can only bring me some benefits. stan him tho <3

Seamus - Someone who i saw around forever but never had any opportunity to talk or meet his ass.  i just vibe w/ his clowny personality and already called him a caveman and a half british. <3 hoping to build a good connection here.

Logan - Funny and very active. He definitely stands out as he talks the most in the tribe chat and plans all the tribe calls. We had some good convos so far, mainly about total drama. Love watching his videos for this immunity challenge KSAJDHG but other than that i'm not sure how i feel about him but i would like to get close to him and work together when the game gears will switch on

Jules - She's so adorable and our talks are very cute but... they don't happen very often.  And she's not really contributing in the challenge so far which i really hope is going to change because in case we lose i fear that people will view her as an easy prey for the first boot? I hope that won't be the case and that she's going to snap cuz i think she's lovely and i enjoy our conversations.

Conor - Didn't have much to write about him until today. He just dyed his hair to the same color i got last summer so we have no choice but to stan. For real tho, we are the only europeans on this tribe (maybe even entire game?) but i don't have much to say about him. Curious how he will approach the game once we are forced to start playing.

Gage - Hmmmm! I like him, but don't really have any kind of trust towards him. He's just quite flirty and the flow of our conversations is weird/forced? I can't stop thinking abt Dean Kowalski and Spencer whenever he messages me.. It's like he's their survivor child.

Vincent - Great he immediately brought up his twin brother with who i played twice and ended him... twice as well. I literally have no idea how or what to talk about with him :/

Hmm the challenge is almost over

I definitely wasn't a challenge MVP by any means. I think everyone but Scott outscored me. But I did a lot better than I could have expected at the challenge start. 65 points isn't a Dooze-level score but it's a lot better than the 30 points I was expecting earlier.

Click HERE to watch Billy’s Round 1 Video!

Lol I'm super happy to be apart of this season!! So far it's turning out to be a great one and I'm hoping that I can do what I need to in order to get far.

Not gonna lie I just had a feeling we were gonna lose this challenge. Like I just... stink at challenges and knew I wasn't going to do well. So I just made sure I didn't have the worst score. Which I hope puts me in the clear. However, i lowkey get the vibe I might be going just cause the conversations are so... bland. Like no ones come purposing an alliance and such. I know I don't want to be the first person to do so, which means someone's gonna have to step up.

Anyways, here's my thoughts on everyone.

Szymon: he's cool, definitely my #1 out here, we've known each other from previous orgs and such. Seamus: I know who he is from tumblr,  but I don't know him that well. he seems chill. Daisy: Queen, shes an icon and O hope she can be my female iconic duo Logan: He seems like he wants to be THAT person who likes to be in control of everything, but doesn't want to come off as controling everything. So I let him think he owns me :) Vincent: I like him, he's a cool guy and one of the few I've talked to the most. He already told me about his vote steal and I'm just like "damn, look at you go!" Conor: He's cool too! I enjoy talking to him when I wake up in the morning. I like hearing about him and his boyfriend too. Gage: home boy likes to flirt around with everyone doesn't he. i'll play a long, but leaving a mental note to not go far with him. Jules: They're cool, not really that social tho but they try. Rob: I forget that he's on this season oops.

I really thought I was gonna get the boot first cause everyone is just so quiet. But the conversations seem to be between Jules and Vincent. Which I'm personally okay with either of them as long as I'm still here. I'd prefer Rob though just cause he doesn't make an effort to talk to me that much, but it is what it is.

Let's hope I get by this round and can survive the first boot. I like to think I can, but you never know with this group.

Click HERE to watch Cindi’s Round 1 Video!

Click HERE to watch Dylan G’s Round 1 Video!

Tribe Assessment:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0bPt3M2z-Yw&feature=youtu.be

Day 2 Confession:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GU2v9ChlOm4&feature=youtu.be

THESE MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA SAY IM NOT ACTIVE JUST BECAUSE I DONT GIVE MY BLOOD SWEAT TEARS AND COOCHIE TO TALKING TO ALL THESE FUCKING MEN???????? LIKE???? YALL ARE TIRING! YALL ARE ALSO LOVELY BUT I CANNOT TAKE ALL THIS MALE ENERGY!!!!! PLS UNDERSTAND!!!! P L E A S E!!!! MEN SUCK BYE

we lost the challenge which sucked. but i really like my tribe. everyone seems chill. i didnt think we were gonna win the challenge though becase several people didnt rlly try to even get 100. so originally i thought it would just be a super easy vote on vincent because he isnt very chatty, but logan is annoying everyone. asking to one on one call and sinking his own ship by pushing so hard (giggity) for jules to go home. so i think either logan or vincent will go this round

I’m liking my tribe mates more than I expected. I’m just trying to play it cool so I make it to merge. I feel like that’s everyone’s goal. I love the alliance of Cindi, both Dylan’s and myself. I’m hoping that we stick together, because I feel like we can be a really strong alliance moving forward. I also think I might be good with Beck, because they’re dating Asya and we played a game together a couple years ago. Asya apparently still really likes me from what Beck said. So woo! Let’s continue the good vibes.

Click HERE to watch Beck’s Round 1 Video!

Click HERE to watch Ali’s Round 1 Video!

So past 4 hours is a lot to process, but basically i got home expecting a pretty easy vote on Vincent. He's a great kid that but have to think about performing well in the challenges as a tribe. So then miss Logan decided to play as if it was merge and not day 3 and just went off with targetting Jules?? I am not having any of that because Jules is too fun to talk so i made sure to let Jules know immediately of what was going on. I believe i was the first to warn her of what's happening so that brings us two closer. Logan then went on calls with everyone individually, ending my call in such a shady way with an excuse of having a dinner... when he was just going to call with Seamus. And he told Seamus that he was currently eating the dinner.. WHAT? Anyway just got the tea that Logan was making multiple trios as well. WHY DO YOU NEED TO PLAY SO HARD? THIS GAME HAS JUST STARTED skjdghd

I feel really bad because he said that he was the first boot the last time he played due to playing hard. But this is just him... not learning from his past mistakes at all :/ Im sorry but i don't feel comfortable moving forward with such a ticking bomb. Neither he or Vincent have any benefit for my game at this point so Im hoping this plan that we put in motion with Daisy to get rid of Logan works, and then we have Vincent as an easy vote next time we lose.

Click HERE to watch Rob’s Round 1 Video!

Click HERE to watch Conor’s Round 1 Video!

Click HERE to watch Dylan’s Round 1 Video!

So I'm more optimistic now that I've properly gotten to know a lot of my tribe, I think I'm socially in a good place but I'm trying not to get ahead of myself and get lazy with communication. I love the little group I've got with Beck, Cindi and Dylan and I think Dylan G and Christian or Chips would fit in like a glove if we ever visit tribal council, and we needed to bring in another couple of people.

All I have to say before tribal is that I really... finessed this vote.

Logan got lose and decided to voice call everyone telling them that they need to vote Daisy. Which made a lot of people more on edge to vote out Vincent. I don't want Vincent to go because I think he's still useful. He has the vote steal advantage and I think he's someone who trusts me. He might not be a number for other people, but Vincent is a number for me. SO I want to keep him around as much as I can cause I trust Vincent more than Logan. So to save Vincent, I decided to throw Logan under the bus and push for him to go. I'm glad I did that since that got traction with Szymon and Daisy on board with voting Logan. However, they weren't enough so I campaigned to Seamus, Gage, and Rob to vote Logan out. They were hesitant at first, but they eventually came around and got on the ship to vote Logan out. I had to voicecall Gage, Rob, and Szymon to convince them but I'm glad it worked. I mean, i had to throw out there that I had an alliance with Logan and Vincent in order to get them to expose Logan's other alliances, but I did what I needed to do in order to save Vincent. So with everyone on board to vote out Logan, I think I set myself up to be in a good spot moving forward.

If I'm gonna be the move maker this season, then I guess I'm starting out the game with one of the biggest moves yet. Poor logan being the first boot AGAIN, but that's what happens when you decide to scramble your butt off.

Click HERE to watch Gage’s Round 1 Video!

__________________________________________________ 

Logan is voted out 8-1. He is the first person voted out of Celestial: Behemoth.

Watch the Round 1 Cast Assessment with Anna/Jack/Jones & Alyssa below:

[dachi-chan25]

Game of Thrones Season 7 Episode 5 Recap Pt. 1

I seriously need to vent about “Eastwatch so bear with me please.

WARNING: SPOILERS; not a D@€n€r¥$ fan; Jonsa shipper so yeah I’m biased af.

Before diving into the recap:

1.- This are only my opinions, humble analysis and random thoughts/musings about the episode, and I am in no form or way trying to convince people I know everything or that I’m absolutely right and whatever other reading is wrong, I actually Love that thing about fandom that everyone sees things in a different way, is fascinating

2.- I’m the literal embodiment of the Salt Throne, and I feel specially salty about this episode so if you are not comfortable with that stuff I highly recommend you not to read this. I will always stay in my lane and I am not closed off to debates as long as you extend the same politeness and respect of course.

3.- My analysis of certain ships/characters is based on what I think and feel as an audience, but in no form or way do I think people shouldn’t ship/like said ship/characters. Believe me on the fact I will always defend the right to love what you love, even my most hated NOTPS are valid and I will always support the shippers and multishippers even if we don’t interact.

————

1.- Back on the lake near HG, Bronn and Jaime are fine (I already knew they weren’t going to die but I am glad they don’t even have a scratch) and golden boy is pissed cuz Bronn wasn’t delicate enough during his brave rescue, and Bronn is like yeah but why did you do such a stupid ass thing she has a dragon Jamie a dragon!!!! but our Lannister boy didn’t even cared he was willing to die to get rid of D.

OK, but that was really what a hero would do??He doesn’t know D, and the good things she has done, and we know Jaime is more than flawed, he has done awfull things, and in his mind D is the biggest threat he has ever faced (I mean he is not wrong) and still found the courage to charge at her, he just watched his man die horrible painful deaths (mind you he got PTSD from his time with Aerys right then and there) and instead of fleeing like Bronn suggested he fought and was willing to die just so he could get rid of D… That really makes you think.

Anyway Bronn is like fuck you, you can’t die before you pay me dude! but you’re totally on your own if the Dragon Woman comes to KL xoxo.

I truly love Bronn.

2.- So yeah we’re strolling through the Field of Fire with Tyrion, he looks absolutely horrified (he should) while the Dothraki take swords and weapons form the dead (yikes, can we talk about the lack of humanising of the Dothraki? We only got to know them a lil’ back on s1 and s2 and still they look like terrible people with a ruthless violent culture and no real good redeeming qualities, I mean we don’t even get a lot of depth on any Mereenese, Yunkai or Astapori beyond the ohh wondrous mysha bullshit!! and then we have Dorne, you know the PoC of Westeros, storyline absolutely butchered and thrown to shit, and this actually stinks of racism) anyway we have like what 50? 100? Soldiers and I’m supposed to pat D in the back for not killing everyone??? You kidding me right? There were 10,000 Lannister-Tarly soldiers, she killed ¾ of the army, and yet she dares to say she didn’t came to murder them or orphan their children with the same condecending tone she used for the Meerenese, Astapori and Yunkaii people???? Miss me that bullshit, she had an adavantage from 10-1 there was no FUCKING way the Lannister-Tarlys were going to win, besides if she has the noble pure righteous heart she loves to parrot about she would have given them the chance to yield before she went Dracarys on their asses (you know like Jon Snow did in the BoB telling Ramsey they should have a 1 on 1 so other people wouldn’t die) she should have taken the food, but she didn’t so it would be real nice if she stopped with all those pretty but meaningless speeches that only make her look like a hypocrite (but I totally understand why she doesn’t “if I look back I’m lost” which basically means I’m too lazy and proud to learn from my mistakes and accept my flaws) anyway it all boils down to “bend the knee or die even tho I just said I didn’t came to kill you after I had already killed most of you” and I kid you not, just 5-10 people bent immediately, only when Drogon screeches menacingly at them is that most drop to their knees absolutely terrified (*instert the “this is not freedom, this is fear” meme from Captain America) what kind of choice is this???? No choice at all, is either accept me as your newest overlord or die in the flames (yikes, I never wanted her on the IT but now more than ever).

Other thing that piqued my interest is that she uses her famous line about destroying the wheel, basically this is a medieval equivalent of communism, she says there will be no more powerfull high lords and helpless small folk, okay good, totally support this, but D you seriously need to ask yourself how are you going to manage the transition and if your replacement of this feudalistic system is all the power lies in me, my Dragons and my small council if/when I’m in the mood to actually listen then no fuck you. Communism is something we know, something we’ve seen before (Cuba, Russia, North Korea) and it has failed, even if theoretically it seems the most humanitarian and fair, in practice it has always caused an awful whiplash of tyranny, poverty and opression (history exists guys, and even if Westeros is a fantasy setting, GRRM based a lot of the stuff in ASOIAF in actual historical events) our society was not ready in any form or way for that kind of government and neither is the Westerosi society, but D is not a politician, she is a Queen and therefore she doesn’t care about future problems and consequences ‘til they hit her face and then she whines and complains about it.

Fortunately the Tarlys are having none of that overlord (overlady???) bullshit and will not kneel, is no secret I dislike Randyll Tarly cuz he is ruthless with his soldiers (flogging them for real??) and the way he treated Sam (fuck him) but he has a lot of strenght and dignity, he refuses to kneel because he already chose a side and he would stand by it even if it meant death, he is a hardass motherfucker if anything, Tyrion is like dude you seriously are going to fight for my evil sister? Point is that Cersei and D really give not much of an option do they Tyrion? As a matter of fact this scene is a good parallel to Cersei’s 7x01 one in the IT trash talking D and convincing (tho she is much more diplomatic) the Reach Lords to fight with her, then we see Randyll talk with Jaime and he says he only answered the call cuz he knew what Cersei does with her enemies. Here we have D’s pretty speech about how Cersei is evil and she is clearly the better option while intimidating them with her Dragon and Dothraki.But is the same! even if Cersei is more subtle in her approach. Anywhoo Randyll is like you say whatever you want about Queen C, but she is not a foreign invader with a army of infamous pillagers and rapers and dragons who burnt all the food of the Reach (k I added that last bit cuz I’m salty that no one seems to give a fuck about the food) and I know some people have been saying he sounded racist (he does not) that is not the case at all,every country requests being a citizen (among other things) to occupy a position in the government, because you have to know the country, lived there, care at least a little about it’s people and know them and let them know you, D meets none of this requirements, and yes it’s not her fault, it’s her dad’s and Robert’s that she had to live in exile, but still she has no right to proclaim herself as the better option when she has done nothing to show it.

So Randyll is ready to die, Tyrion wants to save him (I guess to convince himself that he made the right decision in supporting D) and suggests he is sent to the Wall, but Radyll is like nah man she has no authority to make me do shit cuz she ain’t my queen. Dickon (my brave and beautiful, and dumb son) steps out and says he won’t bend the knee also, Randyll and Tyrion collectively lose their shits (bitch me too the fuck) because they don’t want him to die and let house Tarly die with him (this rings to close to Tyrion cuz his evil sis killed the Tyrells and Aerys killed a Rickard and Brandon Stark, how is this any different from what D is doing now?) but D is ruthless and says she already gave them an option, Tyrion is still trying to be like hey how about you don’t start cutting heads off??? and D is like LMAO who said I was beheading them? Tyrion is left speechless (why were you expecting dude?? You watched her burn the army and the food, and she almost burnt your brother and your bff) but really is heartbreaking because he wanted so hard to see the mericful woman he admired and believed in and only sees a tyrant.

So of course I cried, because I played myself living in denial and happily shipping Dicksa (we can’t have nice things, but my ship is not going down, you can’t kill what is already dead!!!!) and beyond that it was heartbreaking seeing Randyll holding his son’s arm and them dying on ther feet. And I was reminded of one of the heroes of the mexican revolution, Emiliano Zapata who once said “I’d rather die on my feet, than live on my knees” what the Tarlys did was a common tragic hero trope.

After the Tarlys get roasted, everyone is on their knees and I would love to slap the satisfaction out of D’s face, because this is awful.

———

I rambled far too much so this needs a part 2

[iheartfictionalboys]

Shadowhunters Season 2, Episode 1 Review- This Guilty Blood

So Season 2 of Shadowhunters is finally out and I can get back to doing my reviews on each episode like I did with the first season. To be honest I wasn’t sure if this show would even get a second season but now that it has I’m expecting great things. I assume that the second season will be portraying the story arcs that happen in the second book, City of Ashes so I’m judging based off that material. So without further ado let’s get started. And like with last season these do contain spoilers so make sure you watch the episode first.

Things I liked:

- Valentine making pasta sauce will forever be iconic.

- One thing I’m kinda surprised I liked was the fact Magnus confronted Alec about the kiss. He basically said Alec didn’t do him but for himself and I kinda liked that. I don’t really know why but I think it’ll make their relationship more complex and that’s what’s kinda great about Malec in the books is they have a complex relationship so I’m glad they’re not just gonna be a cutesy gay couple cuz what I loved, and I think a lot of people loved, about Malec was that they were real and got into arguments and worked through tough times and seemed possible. So yeah, couples arguing for the win :P

- K izzy’s snake turning into a staff was awesome. And can I just say Emeraude Toubia in Izzy workout clothes is just goals. Actually Emeruade Toubia in general is goals and she’s my favourite part of the show.

- I know I’m focusing on this scene a lot but I just like Izzy kinda training Clary like a little I know there were ulterior motives in the training session but still. 

- Matthew Daddario really portrays Alec’s personality and inability to express his feelings a lot of the time well and that makes me happy.

- That brief Clary and Simon moment where they’re talking about hangovers and laughing. I love that Katherine and Alberto really have such great friendship chemistry and make these two characters genuinely seem like best friends.

- “I’m a vampire I’m running slow for you.” - classic Simon

Things I didn’t like:

- Some of the camerawork was really weird. Like kinda shaky in some places i don’t know if that was intentional or not but it just seemed out of place.

- Who is Victor Aldertree? Is this a character I forgot? Wait isn’t he the crazy leader of the Clave who like locks Simon up in jail in City of Glass? What? Why would they make such a change like this? I mean the boy is fine but I don’t understand why they didn’t bring the inquisitor in because she was an awesome villainish character who could have been interesting particularly because of her connection to Jace.

- There is some cringy dialogue I’m sorry but there is like it doesn’t sound like something that would come out of a teenager’s mouth.

- I never really liked Jocelyn that much in the books to begin with so waking her up early from the comma is not something I liked. I don’t really get why they woke her up early because the best thing about the City of Ashes book is you get to see Clary come into her own and become stronger because she doesn’t really have anyone to protect her in the same ways as before. With Jocelyn around in the show I worry that development won’t get to happen.  

- WHY. WHY DOES THIS SHOW LIKE TO JUMP AROUND WITH PLOT SO MUCH. WHY ARE THEY REVEALING ALL THE VALENTINE EXPERIMENTING STUFF NOW. THAT DOESN’T COME UP TIL LATE END OF BOOK 2 STRETCHING INTO LIKE BOOK 3 I THINK. IT IS UNNECESSARY AND CREATES AN UNNATURAL PROGRESSION FOR THE CHARACTERS AND THE STORY.

- ALSO I AM SORRY BUT ANY WOMAN WHO IS PREGNANT OR REALLY JUST ANYONE HAVE A NEEDLE INJECTED INTO THEIR STOMACH WOULD WAKE THE FUCK UP AND NOT JUST SLEEP THROUGH IT. AND SIDE NOTE, VALENTINE NEVER INJECTED JOCELYN HE GAVE HER DRINKS JUST SAYING.

- I’m sure I said this at some point during last season’s reviews but I’ll say it again. I do not like Valentine. Nothing personal against the actor but it’s just not a believable performance in my eyes and he doesn’t suit the personality or style of Valentine. One thing I liked about when Jonathan Rhys Meyers played Valentine in the movie was that I genuinely believed he could be Valentine. I don’t believe this guy is Valentine or has Valentine’s personality and that’s a problem for me.

- K apparently I hate moms in this series but let me just explain this: in City of Ashes Maryse had difficulty in believing Jace was innocent or believing he was working with Valentine and I hated that but she never seemed to completely stop loving him or thinking it was a mistake to take him in or tell Alec Jace wasn’t his brother. TV Maryse, WOW IS SHE A BITCH. HOW CAN YOU SAY SUCH TERRIBLE THINGS ABOUT JACE. HE WAS YOUR SON FOR 10 YEARS YOU CARED FOR HIM AND SUDDENLY HE’S TRASH?!?! LIKE WTF?!?! They’ve made the character a bitch and i recognize she was kinda bitchy in the beginning but WOW THEY BUMPED IT UP AND I AM NOT PLEASED. SHE’S LIKE NOT EVEN A MOM TO HER KIDS ANYMORE OR REALLY EVER.

- So for those who care to know I write these review points as I watch the show. Remember that Jocelyn note a couple notes back? Prediction came true within about 30 minutes. WOW JOCELYN I DO NOT LIKE YOU. YOU STOLE YOUR DAUGHTER’S PHONE AND STELE AND LOCKED HER IN A PIER. YOU ARE HOLDING HER BACK I GET YOU WANT TO PROTECT HER BUT YOU ARE NOT HELPING HER.

- This one isn’t really a dislike it just makes me laugh but like cuz its awkward. Why is it every time Magnus does magic it looks like he’s doing tai chi. If memory serves (which it may not it’s been a while since I read the books) book Magnus could like do stuff by snapping his fingers and waving not getting ready to do like crouching tiger hidden dragon stuff. It just looks kinda silly but like not in a way that’s intolerable.

- EWWW. VALENTINE TALKING TO JACE ABOUT INCEST FEELINGS EWWWW. THAT IS NEVER A CONVERSATION I NEEDED OR WANTED.

- OK WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT THIS FUCKER OF AN ENDING, A) JACE DOESN’T BREAK THE ACCORDS. B) JOCELYN WOULD NEVER TRY TO KILL HER SON WITH A CROSSBOW LIKE WTF WAS THAT. C) VALENTINE NEVER GETS SHOT IN THE CHEST. WHAT IN ALL THAT IS HOLY WERE MY EYES FORCED TO WITNESS?!?!?!

Alrighty so clearly I wasn’t a fan of this first episode. On an objective scale though it isn’t bad it’s following the world it has set up and is naturally progressing in terms of that. If you’ve never read the books this would probably have been really enthralling. And I gotta say they do the secondary characters so much justice I really respect that. But as someone who has read and loves the books it breaks my heart to see such straying from the source material. I know it’s its own thing and isn’t trying to be the books but it’s making changes that don’t benefit the storytelling and that is really upsetting. City of Ashes is in my top 3 favourite Mortal Instrument Books it’s one of my favourites so I’m gonna be harder on this season (as you can see through my like/dislike ratio already). All in all, I gotta see where they take it before I make any judgments I mean they may do something really cool I’m just going to say that I’m weary right now. Hope you come back next week to see my opinions on episode 2. And next week I’ll make sure to set up like a link to this stuff so spoilers aren’t out in the open I just kinda rushed to make this week’s :P