#but I only really have the big deucalion/val parts

[leftoverfear]

THE DYNAMIC BETWEEN HAYDEN & THEO.

based on canon events + development with @nctafailure.                                                                          DO NOT REBLOG.

HAYDEN DOES NOT HATE THEO.

she wants to,   she knows she probably should,  but there are so many factors that go into this relationship that makes it impossible for her to hate him.   it was easy to write off her feelings for him as hatred when he wasn’t around    (  when her pack had played a part in sending him underground.   )   but part of her always worried that when she saw him again,   she wouldn’t feel the same way everyone else did.   she hates what he did to the pack,   she hates what he did to the chimera pack,   and she hates what he had done to her specifically,   too   ——    but there was also so much he did for her that helped her be who she is now.  the main thing,   of course  —-  is that she’s alive at all,   because of him.

i want to add a quick little note here on a very common misconception i see about the dread doctors /  theo  / the chimeras.   i know people often mistake the chimeras’ first deaths  (  after being deemed failures  )  as theo’s doing,   but it is not.   theo didn’t have control over what the dread doctors did —-   in fact,  that was part of the problem with theo,   that he couldn’t pick and choose who they killed.   if the chimera wasn’t cut out to be the beast,  they were a failure,   and they had no reason to live  - —   so the dread doctors killed them.   THIS WAS NOT ORCHESTRATED BY THEO.  actually,  in terms of hayden’s life,   he fought to keep her alive,   even when it was clear that she was doomed to be a failure too.    “  i need her alive,  “   is what he told them when they were trying to make her chimera genetics work.    theo is not responsible for the deaths of the chimeras in 5A.   this was the dread doctors’ system,  something theo had no control over even though he was,   in some way,   part of their team.   their real focus was on the beast,  and all the chimeras besides mason meant nothing to the dread doctors,  which was why they killed them once realizing they were failures.   i’ve run into this confusion with a lot of people while i’ve been writing chimeras so things get kind of fuzzy because i always want to make sure that this is understood  —-  so hopefully that will clear this misconception up.

HAYDEN WILL ALWAYS CONSIDER THEO HER FIRST ALPHA.

looking back on it,   she knows he wasn’t a good alpha.  she knows he was an alpha for selfish reasons.  she knows that she was hardly ever really in his pack  (   they often left her out of things,  rightfully so given her connection to liam in scott’s pack. )    but putting that aside,   he trained her,    he helped her understand her new body with the genetics of a chimera.    she asked questions constantly  —-  it was something she never shied away from with him  as we saw heavily in 5.11.    while scott is 100% a great alpha to her now and she is forever grateful to be part of his pack,    he was not the one who helped her get accustomed to being who she was now,    and he couldn’t have helped her understand what she was now because scott didn’t understand chimeras the way theo did,    and that was why she relied on theo so much to train her.

hayden was still very new to the supernatural world when theo became her alpha,   and that added to the fact that she had just DIED and came back to life,   she needed someone to rely on.  she didn’t know what was going on,   and while liam had been part of this life for longer than her,   she was well aware that he didn’t understand what was happening HERE.    chimeras were never heard of before,    the dread doctors were new to everyone    ——  the only person who really understood what was happening was theo,    she was smart to try to understand his side of things.    

more than that,   she felt IN DEBT to theo.    this was something that he had over the other pack in terms of where her loyalties were.    her last dying wish was for her sister to be there with her before she died,   because val was always the most important person to her.    it was her last request for liam,   who never returned to her that night before she died  ——   nor did he ever tell valerie that hayden needed her.   she claimed that liam  ‘  left her for dead ‘  because she didn’t have her boyfriend or her sister  /  best friend with her while she died,   and that stuck with her even when she was brought back to life.   she clung to theo because of this  ——-   HE SAVED HER LIFE.    he’s the reason that valerie isn’t in pain for losing her sister.   regardless of if he brought her back for his own selfish reasons or not,    he is the reason she’s alive  ——-  he will always be the reason she’s alive,    and that’s something she will always refuse to discredit.    to say that theo means nothing to her or that he deserved everything he got in hell would be out of disrespect   ——   part of her will always feel in debt to him.   the difference is  - —   she once felt like she had to repay him for it by staying with his pack and trying to follow his lead.    now,   things have changed,   she no longer feels like she had to pay him back,    but she does feel like she owes him respect.

THEO NEVER CONTROLLED HAYDEN.

in fact,   that was the biggest problem between the two.    obviously,   tracy was completely loyal to him and he had control over her and everything she did.    and in some degree,    he could threaten the other two under his order for at least some part of the time.    hayden was entirely different.      hayden was always weary about trusting theo  ——   even in their first scenes with theo after he becomes their alpha,   every chimera accepts their fate with him except her,   who listens,  but also physically PULLS AWAY from him because she knows there’s something else going on here.     she’s not the kind of girl who likes to be controlled by anyone.    she has always been someone who is independent and strong on her own,    though becoming part of the supernatural has started to test her.    she was too weak to live before,    and now,    she didn’t want to be too weak to ANYONE,    including her new alpha.    

yes,   she was hesitant to trust scott and his pack for a while  ——  but for good reason.  it had nothing to do with who they were as people and everything to do with the leverage theo had over them.  he spent a majority of his life with the dread doctors,  who not only created HER,    but created the current villain that everyone was up against.   scott and his pack didn’t know what was to come with the beast,   and theo made hayden feel like he was fully aware and would be able to protect them better than scott did.  it was the only reason she was telling liam the same thing,  that they should trust theo regardless of what he had done to their pack.  this wasn’t about trying to manipulate people to change sides,  and it wasn’t about trying to claim that theo was the hero in it all - ——  it was her thinking logically.  she clung to the pack who had more information.  and given that she had just been thrown into this life,     she was desperate to understand what was going on and what was to come.  she didn’t think she could get that with scott’s pack yet.

HAYDEN BETRAYED THEO.

in some twisted way,     hayden was helping theo when she decided NOT to tell him that the talons he had gotten from the desert wolf would kill him.    but this was a test of her loyalty.   deucalion told hayden that the talons would kill theo if he put him on   ——   and that was when she knew that it was up to her to save his life or to let him die.    at this point,    she has started to feel weary about theo and his true intentions.   she was starting to understand that while scott didn’t know as much as theo did,    he was more focused on helping people than theo was.     SHE MADE A BIG CHOICE HERE.       by not telling theo that the talons would kill him,    she was deciding that it was better for theo to die than to have the beast’s power   ——   and that’s something she will always feel guilty about,    even though deucalion had lied to her.      in the end,   the talons would have helped him take down the beast.    by not telling him that they would kill him,     he could have continued on,    used them,    and gotten the beast’s power.     had she told him they would’ve killed him,     she would have thought she was saving his life  ——   only to have found out later that they would’ve helped him instead and for theo to still feel betrayed.     IT WAS A LOSE-LOSE SITUATION FOR HAYDEN.      

HAYDEN WAS SCARED TO BRING THEO BACK.

hayden was the one who found tracy’s body,    she knew what theo had done to her and that he could’ve done the same thing to her,  too.      given that she had betrayed him and thought she was getting him killed because of it,    she knew it could have easily been her own fate if theo was around longer.   she’s scared,   because he has every reason to want his own vengeance for her.    she is also a very protective person,    so she’s scared of how the rest of the pack will feel having him back because she knows they aren’t going to feel good about him being around.    like i mentioned earlier,   it was easier for her to tell herself that she hated him and would never have to face him again when she thought he was gone forever  ——   but bringing him back meant opening up old wounds,    and everyone had reason to want to hate the other side upon his return.

while she was scared to bring him back,     she also believed that it was for the best.    like hayden said,  kira couldn’t do what they needed to happen   ——   but josh could   (   this is so often overlooked.   )    she had a lot of respect for her other chimera pack members even if they didn’t necessarily have the same for her.     she saw them as victims of what theo wanted them to be,    and what she had escaped from and left them behind.    part of her feels guilty for josh and tracy’s death,    even though logically,   she knows she shouldn’t.   but she got out of the pack,  they didn’t    ——    all the while she was the one disobeying their alpha and changing sides,   whilst also nearly getting theo killed.     she will always feel like she deserved to be killed be theo more than her other pack members who did die.     so,   with respect to josh,  she wants to believe that his powers were what could help them against the ghost riders   ——  which leads them to theo.     though,    it’s more about liam than it is about theo.     while she’s terrified to see him again,    believing in liam is so important to her.    he needs someone to believe in him,    especially with his alpha leaving soon   ——  she wants to show him that he’s strong enough to do this on his own.    she puts all her bitterness and fear towards theo aside to believe in liam,    which also plays a big part in wanting to make sure theo is safe here  ——  because if he’s not,    she doesn’t want that to fall on liam.

HAYDEN IS PROTECTIVE OVER THEO.

in season 6a,   they develop quite the brother/sister kind of relationship.    hayden is constantly putting theo down and insisting that he’s a bad person,   yet at the same time,   she won’t let anyone else do it.    she wouldn’t leave malia alone with him because she knows she’s only going to keep hurting him,     and this is for a few reasons  ——    1)   she’s protective over theo and wants to handle all of this herself if they have to act negatively towards him because she’s not sure she can trust the others with their own baggage with theo.     2)  scott’s pack isn’t about violence.   it’s wrong for her to continuously attack him with intent to kill him because that’s not what they stand for,    and she doesn’t want to give malia that opportunity.     3)   the pack brought him back.    while scott and the older members didn’t know about their plan with liam and hayden brought theo back,     it’s important to remember that THEY ARE STILL ONE PACK.    that means they all still have to work together and respect everyone’s effort to help.     this was what liam and hayden thought was best for them to do as a pack.    they brought theo back to help them;    to continue to threaten him and beat him down wasn’t right of them.    it went against everything they stood for    (   especially after  they had already gotten their vengeance against theo.   )    if she thought theo was in danger with anyone in the pack,   she would refuse to leave him alone with anyone else.    it’s why she often stays with him when he’s locked up   ——   she’s scared that he may be in danger with the others and wants to give him a reason to keep helping them.  

hayden isn’t innocent in the way theo was treated so poorly in 6a.    she was involved in it too and often threatened him out of fear,     just as everyone else did.     she also didn’t feel right about chaining him up or locking him in a cell.    it was unfair and an act of dehumanization   ——   but at the time,    she thought it was what they had to do.     she wanted to believe that they could let him out and that everything would be fine,  from both ends.    while they were trying to protect themselves from theo lashing out,   she was also protecting theo.    she knew the rest of the pack may never get on board with having him free all the time,   and she worried that he would be in more danger if they didn’t take these precautions.    she had already seen it before,   the way they threatened him and the way he still fought back with his words,   and she didn’t want anyone to set him off and force him to physically attack ——   because she knew that meant there would be no way to defend him and stop him from being sent back to hell if he went too far   ——   and with the pack pushing him to that direction,     she had to do what she could to ensure he didn’t hurt anyone,    for her pack’s safety and his safety.  

theo did exactly what they wanted him to do  ——   HE HELPED,    even though the pack often gave him every reason not to with the way they treated him so badly    (   when you ask someone for help,   you don’t constantly insult / attack them and continue to expect them to do as you asked   ——  yet he did.   )      he saved their pack and he saved her boyfriend on multiple occasions,    something she knows he did for his own benefit,    but he still did it.     she owes him a thank you yet doesn’t know how to have that kind of conversation with him given their history.      at this point,    she just hopes the rest of the pack can see what theo has done for them too  ——-   that he helped them,    and he has done nothing but help ever since they brought him back.    he doesn’t deserve their disrespect right now   ——-    while they are allowed to hate him for what he did to them before,     1)   they got their vengeance already and  2)  he helped,  just as they asked,   and he hasn’t done anything to hurt them  ——    hayden doesn’t want theo to feel like he’s still in danger,     because she knows he felt like that the entire time he was helping against the ghost riders.  

she doesn’t expect theo to stick around after they’ve gotten rid of the ghost riders and everyone’s back safely.     he’s got no reason to stay in a place that hasn’t been good to him.     at the same time,    she still felt protective over him   ——  and while he’s not her alpha anymore,    he once was.     he’s someone she has rediscovered a certain amount of respect for and she wants to see him do something BETTER with his life.     she’s not entirely sure if it’s possible for theo,    or if he’ll ever want that,    but she wants to see him make some kind of progress to be a better person.   if that means leaving beacon hills for good,    she will understand it   ——   but she also feels like she has to keep looking out for him and doesn’t want to see him become a lone wolf where she can’t help him if he needs it again.  

she won’t defend theo’s actions before the pack got their vengeance against him   ——  they’re not right,   he wasn’t a good person,   and he doesn’t deserve to be forgiven for those things.     but she WILL defend him when she sees someone treating him unfairly,    especially after they’ve brought him back.    she doesn’t know what he went through in hell,    but she can see very clearly that he is not the same person that was sent down there   ——    she can sense that he’s been traumatized in some way that she wouldn’t dare ask about.    she can sense that what they did to him could very well be just as bad as what he had done to them   (   but of course,   she doesn’t know WHAT that was,   exactly.   )     all she knows is that for a strong,   confident guy like him to change this drastically,    it must have been something he will never be able to overcome,    and it’s important for her to remind others that they can’t forget that they,   too,    have done something to him,   even if it was deserved because of what he had done first.      defending theo now is also important to the fact that she believes in liam.     to say that theo doesn’t belong here or that they want to get rid of him is a stab at liam’s choice in bringing him back,     and hayden will always stand by liam when she truly believes in him.    she wants to respect and protect BOTH of them.