#but I need to read the spark notes for catcher in the eye cause I’ve never read it

[ceddar-cheez]

I think his isolation (since he was 10 basically) means he’s a really big book nerd and rather attached to the characters. I think the fastest way for Sole to form any sort of bond with him would to be arguing over interpretations of classics.

Cause of course an impassioned man like that loves to argue and debate. No one really puts up much of a fight against the Elder. At best, they concede and at worst they agree to disagree an move on. It’s not like arguing about books is important. So when Sole comes in with a hot take about Catcher in the Rye, he’s gunna roll up his sleeves and they go at it like a DC vs Marvel fan flame war. Sole’s not trying to ass kiss so they’ll actually put up a fair fight in their opinions. And really, that’s all he wants

Maxson headcanons:

Maxson actually does occasionally mingle with the other brotherhood soldiers by training, eating, or casually conversing amongst them to install a sense of familiarity with their Elder and to prevent any excessive lionization of him.

 Maxson doesn’t like wearing his signature coat when he decides to socialize since it immediately identifies him as their Elder and he has a feeling that everyone seems to always be walking on eggshells around him. 

He’ll go without his coat but his black fight suit still identifies him as an officer which still demands a certain level of respect to him. 

There are still boundaries that cannot be crossed, so do not expect the Elder to be very buddy-buddy with his soldiers, but more of a an professional friendliness.

Maxson also has a bit of a fondness towards new recruits as they do not always know their way around the brotherhood yet, while brotherhood bred and raised soldiers already have an ingrained protocol to follow, new recruits often do not. He therefore often finds his interactions with them very interesting.

Maxson can’t have any intimate relations with any brotherhood members that are too low in their ranks. Not because he doesn’t want to but because a lower ranking soldier that gets to close to him would be accused of trying to acquire unfair advantages from their Elder, so many would steer clear from developing any interpersonal relationships with the Elder in fear of harassment from their peers. If Maxson defends them, it’ll only breed more resentment amongst the other soldiers and make the harassment worse. 

Awww, firstly I’d just like to say thank you for blessing us all with the Maxson content 😭 but on that note, I feel so bad for him. (Yes I know, he isn’t exactly a favorite) He’s gotta be one lonely dude. These Headcanons hit the nail on the head imo

[inawickedlittletown]

I’m With You (11/?)

Summary:

Having a crush was nothing to be ashamed of…lying to the family and friends of said crush about being the guy’s boyfriend, that was a whole other problem. When Buck saves the life of Andrew Diaz and accidentally makes a nurse think that he’s Andrew’s boyfriend, Buck soon finds himself lying to Andrew’s firefighter friends/coworkers as well as Andrew’s family including Andrew’s very suspicious and attractive brother, Eddie.

Based on the 1995 movie While You Were Sleeping.

Words: 4,183

Notes: Posting a bit earlier than I expected I would be again which is not a bad thing. Enjoy. :)

Read on Ao3

Masterpost

Previous Chapter

–

It felt foggy, like there was something he should know, or things that should have been in his head that wasn’t confusion. The doctor had asked him questions that had felt a bit random. Math ones and history ones and chemistry ones, and questions about fire safety for some reason. Supposedly they were things that were relevant to the life that he didn’t remember and the people that had been around in his hospital room when he woke up. 

As it turned out, he knew a lot of things — studied and learned knowledge. Facts and things that were just ingrained in him. It was everything else he didn’t know like his parents or his brother or that he was gay — well, bisexual — and had a boyfriend whom he knew to be aesthetically pleasing in the way that he could acknowledge when someone looked good and yet did nothing else for him.

His mom tried to show him pictures to jog his memory, but even the pictures that had him in them felt like looking at strangers. When he’d gone to the bathroom earlier, feeling sore and unsure of the help that his parents were offering him, he’d taken some time to stare at himself in the mirror. But he didn’t recognize himself and that was a strange and weird feeling. 

Nothing made him remember anything fully, but he had feelings or maybe something that was like deja vu sometimes. His parents told him he was a firefighter — a hero. He didn’t feel like one, though. They didn’t leave his side the first day, sticking around right up until it was dark out and they either needed to leave or stay the night. 

Eddie and Buck — his boyfriend, Buck — had brought a few things to help him with the remembering thing. The photo album gave him nothing really except that he had some faint familiarity with some of the things in the earlier pictures but Andrew — and even his name had felt weird on his tongue — didn’t consider any of that actually remembering. 

After everyone left, he looked through the things he’d been brought again. The pictures, and the yearbook, and then he picked up the Sandman comic book. When he’d first opened it earlier, the story had come to him at once. All the pictures were familiar. It was the same with The Catcher In the Rye. He knew the book well. Loved it. American Idiot was another thing he remembered. Eddie had played a few of the songs for him and Andrew knew the words. 

The oddest part was remembering some things and not remembering others. 

The doctors were all optimistic that he would get his memory back. They didn’t know the cause of the amnesia exactly, but they expected it to be temporary. Andrew hoped so, he wasn’t fond of the daze he was in. 

—-

Buck called out from work the next morning and texted Ali while he was at it to let her know that he was sorry but couldn’t make it in. 

And why is that? 

You alright?

Buck almost didn’t feel like answering. After he’d gotten home the night before and picked at the food he’d picked up on the way home before just giving up and going to bed, Buck hadn’t actually fallen asleep until it was well past midnight. He’d called his boss after two hours of sleep and then texted Ali. 

Andrew woke up. 

He has amnesia. 

So not off the hook yet.

Things are just nuts right now.

He stayed in bed for a good chunk of the morning, drifting in a half-sleep state that didn’t really make a lot of sense. Eventually, he got up mostly out of hunger and then because he figured that if he was hungry, Legolas was too. 

Buck was happy to not run into Eddie at Andrew’s house again. So, instead he went in and fed Legolas and went out to the yard to play. Their playing days were numbered, it was a sad thing to consider with how attached Buck was to the dog. They played fetch for a while until Buck just laid down on the grass and Legolas dropped down next to him, putting his head on Buck’s chest. It was as if Legolas could sense that Buck needed the comfort. 

“You’re amazing, you know. The best dog,” Buck said, running his hands through his golden fur. 

Buck had no idea how long they were like that before Legolas got up and walked up the stairs to the house. He barked a few times and when Buck got up, he found Eddie and Christopher there. Christopher was on the receiving end of doggy kisses which was something that Buck could never not smile at. 

“Buck,” Eddie said, “didn’t think you’d be here.” 

Buck shrugged. “Feeding Legolas.”  

Eddie nodded. “I just figured you’d be at the hospital.”

“Later, probably,” Buck said. He tried to shake off any of the grass that had stayed on him as he walked up the stairs to join them. 

“You have grass on your hair,” Eddie said and before Buck could reach up to shake it off, Eddie was there running his hands through his hair for him. 

Eddie was so close that Buck could feel his breath on his neck and he could smell him, a dark woodsy scent that was very appealing. His fingers pulled at Buck’s hair a little but Eddie was gentle and then he pulled back, falling a step back and away from Buck. It felt like a spell was broken. 

“There,” Eddie said. “All gone.” He was smiling, his eyes twinkling in the light.

Buck liked him. He liked him too much. 

“And what brings you here?” Buck asked. 

“Chris wanted to see Legolas and I figured maybe I’d take a few pictures of him to show to Andrew. See if that sparks anything at all. Although...even without memories he didn’t seem too interested in hearing about this dog.”

“Good idea,” Buck said. He personally had too many pictures of Legolas in his phone. 

Buck had maybe gone a little crazy with taking pictures of Legolas almost every time that he went over to Andrew’s house. It was just that Legolas was very photogenic and he was too adorable to not take pictures of. 

Christopher was still petting Legolas, but he looked up when he heard Buck. 

“Hi, Buck,” he said. 

“Hey, bud,” Buck said and grinned at him as Legolas gently nudged Christopher asking for more petting.

“I’m amazed at how good he is with Christopher,” Eddie said. “That’s — it’s one of the things that’s always made me hesitate to get a dog even though Christopher would love one. I’ve been considering getting him a hamster.” 

“I mean, if you want to get stuck cleaning out the cage.” 

Eddie laughed. “Maybe a fish.” 

“With what a self-cleaning tank?” 

Eddie rolled his eyes and got distracted taking pictures. Some with and without Christopher. The tension that had been present the day before had disappeared probably some time between the awkward moments at the hospital the day before with Andrew. None of them really knew how to act around him least of all Buck who shouldn’t have even been there in the first place. 

“Are you working today?” Buck asked. 

“Yeah. I’m gonna drop Chris off with Abuela for the day so he’s not stuck at the hospital with my parents. They’re still planning to head home tomorrow. I guess it makes it easier that Andrew’s awake now, but they’re trying to spend as much time with him as possible.” 

“Ah,” Buck said. And he felt horrible for hoping that Andrew wouldn’t have his memories back until after his parents left so that maybe just maybe the blowout of everything coming out wouldn’t be as bad. 

They hung out for a while, sitting on the steps while Christopher played with Legolas and it was nice. Peaceful.

The peace was broken when Buck’s phone started to ring. It was an unknown number, but with all the strange things that were happening, Buck figured he should answer. But no one was on the other line. 

“Hello?” Buck asked. 

There was just someone breathing and then they hung up. The area code told him that it wasn’t a California number. 

“That was weird,” Buck said. 

“Who was it? Telemarketer?” 

“No. Or...well, I don’t know. Someone just breathing and then they hung up.” 

Buck considered calling back and seeing if anyone answered, but he didn’t feel like going through the trouble so he put his phone away. If they really did want to reach him they would leave a message. 

“So, you gonna go through with the asking my brother to marry you thing?” Eddie asked eventually. He sounded a bit weird asking. 

Buck shrugged. How could he when they weren’t even together? He’d forgotten about Olivia mentioning that. Or how Isabel had been so happy to hear it. 

“I don’t know,” Buck said. 

Eddie nodded. “Just...I guess be sure it’s what you want, if you do.” 

“Why? Am I not supposed to want your brother?” 

Eddie wouldn’t look at him, instead he stared out at the yard. “I just don’t know if you know him all that well to rush into marriage. Seems I don’t know him all that well either come to think of it. And I just — I realize you probably like my parents and the family as a whole and I don’t want that to influence you.”

“Right,” Buck said and he knew that whatever intention Eddie had by saying all that, that it was rooted in good somehow and yet it sounded wrong and just a bit rude. If Buck had actually been Andrew’s boyfriend, it wouldn’t have come off well at all. 

“I mean...I mean that from my own experience marriage is not something to go into lightly,” Eddie said. 

“Eddie, the last thing I’m thinking about is marriage. And...I think I should go,” Buck said. “I have to pick up more food for Legolas and I should stop by the hospital.” 

“Oh. I’ll see you soon?” 

“Yeah,” Buck said. He stopped by Christopher to ruffle his hair and to pet Legolas goodbye. 

Christopher said goodbye in his gentle tone. “See you soon, kid,” Buck said. He was going to miss him too once it was all over. 

—-

Eddie was jealous and he was a shit person. A shit brother. He had seen it in Buck’s eyes, and then the way that Buck had just taken off right after Eddie had just started voiding his concerns about Buck and Andrew getting married. It left a bad taste in his mouth. It was just that Eddie hadn’t expected to come upon Buck at Andrew’s house again, but there he was in the backyard sitting on the grass looking gorgeous and like he belonged there in that house and with that dog and it had bothered Eddie. It was still bothering Eddie. 

The idea that one day Andrew and Buck would be married and Eddie would have to see them together...it hurt. It hurt more than he’d expected it to. And maybe it hurt more because when they’d been outside the hospital, Eddie had wanted to blurt it out and tell Buck that the reason he wanted so desperately for Buck to somehow not be his brother’s boyfriend was because he liked him...he had feelings for him — feelings that he shouldn’t have for his brother’s boyfriend. 

There was nothing he could do about it. Buck and Andrew were together. Eddie had tried and failed to find a reason for why Buck might be lying but there was nothing and Eddie just had to resign himself to the fact that his brother was less than straight and that he’d somehow found the one man in all of LA that Eddie could fall for. 

“Daddy, are you okay?” 

Eddie looked to his son and smiled. “Yeah, kiddo. I’m all good.” 

They didn’t stay much longer at Andrew’s place because Eddie still did need to head to work. He packed Chris up in the truck and drove to Abuela’s. She was of course in the middle of baking something when they arrived.

“Es para Andrew,” Abuela said. “El se va a recordar de mi tres leches.” 

[“It’s for Andrew,” Abuela said. “He’ll remember my tres leches.”]

“Who wouldn’t,” Eddie said. “And can I expect a piece later?” 

“Claro, Eddito,” Abuela said. 

[“Of course, Eddito.”]

“Y tienes razón. Nadie puede olvidarse de tu tres leches. Nobody makes it like you. Anyway, I gotta go, abuela. But thanks for watching him today and don’t let him tire you out.”

[“You’re right. Nobody could forget your tres leches…”]

“I won’t, Ed. You be careful out there.” 

He let her kiss his cheek and bless him before he turned to Christopher. 

“Be good for abuela, kiddo. Promise?”

“I promise,” Christopher said with a big grin. 

“See you soon. Love you.” 

“Love you too, dad.” 

Hearing those words always made him feel amazing, like he could do anything at all. 

Eddie arrived at the station with time to spare somehow, but he headed in to get changed anyway. Hen was already there in the locker room.

“So, he’s awake,” she said. “I stopped by there earlier. He’s looking a lot better.” 

Eddie nodded as he changed his shirt. “I’m just glad he woke up before my parents left. We just have to wait for him to get his memory back, now.” 

Hen gave his shoulder a squeeze. “He’ll be back to normal in no time.”

The day turned out to be on the easier side. Easy routine calls. A girl stuck up a tree that they got down with no trouble, a pregnant teenager who went into labor at a friend’s house, a car crash with no major injuries but a woman stuck inside her car, and a restaurant with a grease fire. They somehow weren’t even interrupted during their dinner and between the calls they even had a bit of downtime.

Eddie filled everyone in on what was going on with Andrew and when they happened to be dropping off a woman experiencing a heart attack at the same hospital, they all went to the hospital room to stop by for a moment. 

“No kidding, then, I’m a firefighter,” Andrew said when he saw them walk in. 

Bobby was the first to introduce himself, shaking Andrew’s hand. Hen went in and hugged him and Chimney just nodded. 

“The uniform looks cool,” Andrew said. 

“Just wait until you’re wearing one,” Hen said. “Which will be soon.”

Andrew laughed at that. “Hopefully,” he said. 

“Not until you’re all better, son,” their mom said and Eddie rolled his eyes. She was so overprotective. 

When he met Andrew’s eyes, Andrew seemed to be sharing his expression which made Eddie really remember that this was his brother. 

They didn’t stay long, but Andrew seemed happy to see them even if it was clear he didn’t remember any of them all too well. No one knew how he would remember things — if it would be all at once or slowly. Amnesia was still such a weird mystery. 

They ran into Buck on their way out. He was holding flowers which made something in Eddie’s chest catch. If only Buck had been less attractive or more of a jerk or just obviously a bad person somehow everything would have been so much easier. 

Hen hugged Buck and Bobby pat his shoulder. Chim squeezed his arm. Eddie steered clear of him, not daring to touch him because he didn’t trust himself. Instead he just offered a smile that he hoped wasn’t too tight. 

—-

Buck didn’t know if they did it for his benefit or because they really did intend to leave, but Buck was surprised when Helena and Ramon got up to leave after he’d been with them for just a few minutes. Helena hugged and kissed his cheek and Ramon just nodded at him and shook his hand.

“We likely won’t be seeing you again for a little while,” Ramon said. “But it was lovely to meet you and to know our son has someone good at his side.” 

By a little while, they didn’t know that it would be forever. 

“Don’t hesitate to call us for anything, sweetie,” Helena added and then turned to Andrew. “We’ll be back tomorrow to say goodbye before we go so we’ll see you then.” 

And then they were gone and Buck felt the awkwardness fall on them. 

“So,” Andrew said.

Buck looked at him. He looked a lot better than he had the day before. His face was back to full color and he’d clearly gotten a moment to get cleaned up because he looked a lot better than someone that had been lying in a coma for the better part of a week. He’d even managed a shave. 

“You’re my boyfriend,” Andrew said. And then, “that sounds weird. Saying it like that, I mean.”

Buck didn’t breathe for a moment. 

Andrew shook his head. “I just — I don’t know, it sounds wrong. And not...I don’t know how, but I just don’t think I like men? But I don’t even know, right, because there’s stuff I’m missing and there’s well...there’s you.” 

And Buck needed to tell him the truth. He needed to explain and hope that Andrew wouldn’t hate him over it. Maybe Chimney was right and this was where he needed to start. Even if Andrew remembered nothing about his life, he could still tell that Buck was wrong — that he was a part that didn’t make sense. Because Buck didn’t belong. He wasn’t supposed to be a part of his life. Any of their lives. 

“But I’ll remember you. I know I will,” Andrew said. “They’ve told me all about you and I — maybe I just don’t know it yet, but you’d be good for me.”

Buck’s phone chose that moment to start ringing. 

“You should get that,” Andrew said. “I don’t mind.” 

Buck picked up without even looking at the number calling. “Hello?” Buck said and waited a moment. “Anyone there? This is Evan Buckley, who’s calling?” 

There was no response and then the line went dead. It was the same number from earlier. Strange. 

“What was that?” Andrew asked. 

“I have no idea,” Buck said. “Same number called me earlier and said nothing. Maybe I should call it back.” 

“Do that. Now I’m curious,” Andrew said. 

He did. It rang and rang and rang and then someone picked up and hung up. Whoever it was, there was a reason they were calling and a reason that they couldn’t say anything to him. The whole thing was sketchy and weird and Buck didn’t really have the time to deal with all of that.

“You should have Athena track the number,” Andrew said and he looked like he didn’t know where the words had come from. Had he even met Athena yet? 

Buck got his answer a moment later. 

“Who’s Athena?” 

Buck chuckled. “Look at that memory already coming back. She’s a friend of yours. She’s a Police Sergeant and married to Bobby,” Buck said and smiled at him. 

“I guess it is” Andrew said. “Weird.” 

There had been a time when Buck would have given anything to have a conversation with Andrew. He would have given anything to be able to sit and talk to him and see if there was anything further to explore between them. To even just know him. This Andrew was still just as attractive, but he had no memories of who he was and Buck didn’t have that pull anymore. Not in the same way. Or maybe it was just the guilt. 

“I should tell you something,” Buck said. He didn’t know how to do it, but he really did need to. 

“Is it about the dog?” Andrew asked. 

“What? Legolas? No...no it’s not about—”

Andrew interrupted. “Mom showed me pictures. And turns out I don’t like dogs.” 

The decisive way he said it made Buck realize that Andrew already knew. Well, no, he didn’t know the details of the lie or the complicated web that Buck had found himself in, but he probably already knew with surety that he wasn’t gay or bi. Just like he knew he didn’t like dogs. 

“You’re not wrong,” Buck said, “for thinking about—”

Buck was of course then interrupted. 

“Andrew!” It was Josh holding balloons because he had perfect timing. 

“Hi,” Andrew said and then to Buck, “who is this?” 

“Your best friend,” Buck said. 

Buck had no idea how Josh knew Andrew was awake since he hadn’t bothered to text or call him even though he should have. It was just that too much had happened for him to even think about Josh. When Josh looked at Buck with clear surprise in his eyes, he realized that it was probably shocking to find him there. 

“Andrew has amnesia,” Buck told him. 

“Oh. Wow,” Josh said with a chuckle that was probably at least partially aimed at Buck. “Didn’t expect that turn of events.” 

“I don’t think anyone did,” Andrew said with a laugh. 

“Nope,” Buck said. “Not at all.” 

—-

Andrew liked Buck. He hadn’t had a real chance to spend any time with him while his parents were hovering around all the time, so it had been nice when they left him and Buck alone. But as much as Andrew did like Buck, there was something missing when he looked at him. It was different than everyone else he’d met so far, even the 118 when they’d stopped by for a few minutes. They were familiar even if Andrew didn’t know them. With Buck, it was like coming up short right up against a wall. 

Andrew was also pretty sure that he didn’t like guys. His dad had said something about how unexpected it had been for them to learn that Andrew had a boyfriend. How Andrew hadn’t told any of them. His mom hadn’t let him continue that line of thought as if Andrew would find it offensive or something. Andrew could tell that she was overprotective and that it probably didn’t even have much to do with the accident. Eddie had sort of confirmed that for him. 

They had told him all about the accident, though, what they knew of it. How he’d gotten knocked over somehow and then how he’d almost gotten run over by a car except that Buck had saved him and wasn’t Buck wonderful? 

His mom had looked at him then as if waiting for Andrew to pipe in and agree when he knew nothing about Buck. Of course, he’d saved his life so that absolutely made him okay in his eyes. Somehow, he didn’t feel anything when it came to Buck, though. 

Maybe it was his lack of memories or just something else...there was no knowing. All Andrew knew was that he didn’t think he was into guys and that there was something strange about Buck. But Andrew had amnesia and there was a lot that didn’t make sense like the dog so he just didn’t know what to make of it. Or how to ask anyone about it. 

Spending some time with Buck, though, it made him realize a few things. That Buck didn’t act like a significant other. Or maybe he was just good at giving Andrew space. But he didn’t crowd Andrew or fuss over him or any of those things that a boyfriend might do. In some ways, he was almost a little standoffish. 

Then Josh showed up. Josh felt a little bit familiar but not more than anyone else. He claimed to be Andrew’s best friend and when he heard Buck say that, he knew it was true. 

“Well, man, it’s so good to see you awake at last,” Josh said. 

“Thanks,” Andrew said. 

Josh busied himself putting the balloons down and then he sat down. “And how is this being handled? Are we telling you things? Not telling you things...what’s the deal?” 

Josh was fast paced. He spoke quickly and with some strange enthusiasm that didn’t seem to fail him, but Andrew liked that about him. It seemed familiar and like it fit and that brought him back yet again to realizing that Buck really didn’t. 

“Telling him things,” Buck said. 

“Oh, good,” Josh said. “No need to censor myself, then.” 

“Do you ever?” Buck asked. 

Josh just shrugged and then he jumped into a story about a night when he and Josh had been out at a bar. 

“This is before the ball and chain,” Josh said and threw a look at Buck. “Sorry, Buck.” 

Buck tried and failed to look mock offended but then he motioned for Josh to continue his story and Andrew kept his eyes on Buck but he really and truly did not remember him. He wanted to. 

–

Next Chapter

Notes: Okay so first note: I love writing Andrew and I really wanted to hit at the idea that even when he doesn’t know, he knows. And I believe in the next chapter we get a really good Andrew and Buck scene that I’m excited about. 

Another thing: Tres Leches (the cake abuela is making) - this is a cake of Mexican origin if I’m not mistaken that is essentially your basic white sponge but it is then drenched in mixture of evaporated milk, condensed milk, and heavy cream for hours to create something truly moist and amazing. If you ever have the chance to try it out or want the recipe hit me up because I make it often and frost it with a fruit mousse and it’s always a hit. 

Hope you guys enjoyed this one. Let me know what you thought of it! 

And if you want to be tagged in future chapters let me know! :) 

Tagging: @tranquility-or-chaos @diazbuckleysworld @stilesgivesmefeels