#but I know I had This Exact Scene in mind for defending the actions of the Black Panther Party

[unoislazy]

Promises

Vi x Reader (Part Four)

Friends?

------------------------------------------

“You talk too much.” Vi huffed and with one swift movement turned around and punched the support beam of the tower behind you, causing it to start to crumble to the ground. You looked back towards Vi who had grabbed Cait’s arm and signaled for you to follow behind as she began to run. You sprinted as fast as your legs could carry you as you heard the booming sound of the tower crashing down, leaving Silco behind in a cloud of rage filled dust. 

Once you were a safe enough distance away, You all stopped to regroup for a moment, giving yourselves time to process what just happened. 

“So when were you going to tell me you knew where my sister was this whole time?” Vi asked, to which you looked directly at her and answered,

“I told you, I was getting there but there was a lot happening all at once, what was I supposed to do? Find out you're not dead and then just immediately say ‘hey Vi! I know where your sister is, har har,  let's NOT focus on the fact that you just got stabbed!” You said in an overly dramatic mocking tone as you put on a character to reenact your little hypothetical scene. 

“You could’ve just said something after you got the serum.” She huffed again, her anger not dissipating as she kept her eyes focused on you. 

“Vi, I told you, I was going to tell you but-”

“Why didn’t you?” She interrupted.

“Well you kind of have this annoying habit where you don’t let me talk so…” You said in a sarcastic tone as you looked away from her. She sighed, cupping the side of her face with one of her battered hands. She was just healed not even twenty minutes ago and she’s already put her body at risk of another injury. 

“Hey, you’re not sin free either here Vi. You’re working with a pilty? I tried to ignore it to stay out of your business but you want to get on MY case for working with the wrong side?” You argued. Vi was an older sister through and through, she was always quick to correct the actions of others without having the time to think about herself. You couldn’t blame her, with everything she’s probably been through in the last 48 hours, it’s a lot to grapple with all this new information. But just because it was hard on her doesn’t mean you were just going to let her off the hook. 

“No offense Caitlyn but I could tell you weren’t from here with just one look.” You said to her, as she looked over to you as she quickly shook her head. 

“I’m not-” She began to speak before Vi spoke over her once again.

“Leave her out of this.” 

You glanced at Caitlyn as she rolled her eyes before looking back at Vi.

“Vi how can I leave her out of this when you’re doing the exact thing you’re upset at me for. Well… maybe not the exact thing unless she’s an enforcer but there's no way you’d-” You paused. Once those words left your mouth there was a sudden silence that fell over the two of them as Caitlyn averted eye contact. 

“No. No way.” You finally managed to speak up as you looked between Vi and Cait. 

“How do you think she got me out of Stillwater?”

“Vi really? That’s clearly not the point here!”

“She needed information against Silco, that’s why she's here,” Vi excused, 

“Holy shit. I never thought I’d live to see the day when THE Violet goes out of her way to defend an ENFOR- an enforcer?!” You stumbled over your words a bit in disbelief as you held your hands up to your forehead and pushed the back over your hairline. 

Vi was quiet now. It seemed to have hit her a bit more now that she was actually taking your reaction into consideration.

“I’m here to help.” Caitlyn spoke up, causing you to look at her. You had no real reason to not trust her, she hadn’t done anything to warrant you being hesitant of her, if anything she showed you could trust her as she had given up her valuable gun without hesitation for the sake of helping Vi.

“To help who exactly? What do you even need this information for?” You asked. In your mind whenever an enforcer came down here to ‘help’ it was just because the Pilties were uncomfortable and they needed to display they’re military power against the poor people of Zaun.

“There’s an ongoing investigation involving someone named Jinx, linked to the Progress Day attack.” Cait explained which caused you to look back at Vi.

“Oh yeah, that’s gonna go well. I can totally see how this will all work out perfectly and there won't be a conflict with that at all in the slightest.” You remarked sarcastically as you crossed your arms. Did Vi seriously expect this enforcer to just let her sister go without any reason, especially if she was the one behind the attacks? Caitlyn looked at you with confusion, it seemed was a little behind on connecting the dots but all her questions would soon be answered as you looked over to Vi. 

She was staring at something off in the distance, her eyes locked on with a mesmerized air about her. 

“Vi what are you-” You were about to ask but you got your answer as you turned to see the blue cloud of smoke filling the air. 

Powder. 

Without another word you and Vi began running towards the direction of the smoke. Cait followed close behind, clearly confused as to what the sudden urgency was for, but you weren’t going to explain it to her. You couldn’t. If there was any hope of Vi getting out of this with her sister it would be by you keeping your mouth shut. 

Just as the smoke was starting to diffuse, you all made your way up. Vi was the first to greet her sister and you were a close second. As you walked up, you saw the two girls clinging to each other as they reunited for the first time in years. You kept your distance so as to not ruin the moment until Jinx noticed you. 

“You’re here too? I thought… I thought you left?” She asked as Vi released her from the hug to look back at you. You walked up closer to them with a smile on your face. You always kept your distance when it came to Powder, you were just there if she needed you but out of fear of Silco you didn’t get too close. You didn’t realize it would affect her at all if you had left, but it seems she noticed after all. You nodded at her and in that moment you didn’t see the Jinx that you were used to showing up and tormenting people for fun. You saw the young girl who used to create things and show them off to you with pride when you’d visit. You saw Powder and it was clear that Vi did too. 

But before you could all get too comfortable, you all heard the sound of Caitlyn catching up behind you. You felt a little bad for having ditched her but you knew how important this was to Vi, even if you did have your disagreements on other things.

Powder quickly reached for the gun that was strapped to her and aimed it at Caitlyn. 

“Who is she?” She asked and just like that you could see Jinx take over once again. 

“Who are you?” Cait asked back in a lower tone as she looked between Vi and Jinx. Vi quickly jumped in to be a mediator to try and keep Jinx from attacking Caitlyn.

“It’s okay… she's a friend.” Vi said, holding her arm out to Jinx as she tried to convince her. You couldn’t help but silently wonder to yourself “Is she though?” Cait hadn’t given you any direct reason to dislike her but you still wanted to be cautious. 

But it was going to take more than a couple words to undo all the trauma associated with enforcers for the blue haired girl. 

“Your sister is Jinx?” Cait asked. 

“Listen we can work this out-” Vi tried to keep things together as she often did but it wasn't working. Cait was set on her role as an enforcer, here for the blue orb thingy. You truthfully had no idea that was even involved in the equation until you watched her spot it. 

“Hm, it’s almost like someone called this.” You muttered quietly before looking back over to Jinx.

“This is a trick, you're playing me!”  Jinx shouted, aiming her gun at Vi, then you, then Caitlyn before covering her ears as she turned away.

“Shut up!” She screamed. 

“We didn’t say anything?” You shot Caitlyn a look. If there was ever a time to make a snippy comment, it was definitely not when the girl who is hearing voices has a minigun aimed directly for you. You watched as Jinx slowly began to spiral, as she often did when some news of something involving Powder would come up. You weren't exactly surprised it was happening, but you knew how irrational she could get and you'd be damned if you knew how to stop her. 

As Vi continued to try and get Jinx to calm down, you heard a low rumbling noise, it was hard to hear at first so you ignored it, paying more attention to Jinx and Vi but the longer you ignored it the louder it went until Jinx finally noticed it as well. 

You all turned to the sound and realized it was none other than 

“The firelights.” You whispered before your voice was quickly drowned out by the rapid firing sound of Jinx’s gun. You quickly ducked and covered your ears to get out of the way of Jinx’s sporadic aim. In seconds, multiple firelights joined their leader and came swooping down among you all. Luckily once Vi hit one off of their board you were able to grab a weapon to help fight alongside them. You weren’t the best at fighting, you were never trained, but to survive in the Undercity you’d have to at least be able to keep your face out of the way of an oncoming attack. 

As you continued to fight you looked around after a while and noticed that Caitlyn was nowhere to be seen. Maybe she was just hiding.

Or maybe she just got what she needed and left. 

You didn’t give too much attention to her disappearance as you found yourself fighting alongside Jinx. You listened as she took joy in the blaring sound of her gun firing before it was quickly replaced by a crazed rage. She switched back and forth between emotions like night and day as you fought together. Once Jinx had successfully cornered one of them, you noticed a distinct lack of fighting noises as you turned around.

That when you saw her.

Vi, knocked out on the shoulder of one of the firelights. Suddenly all the petty anger you felt when arguing with her earlier dispersed as you realized the very real possibility that you were about to lose her again. You had time to spend with her and you took it for granted. You spent it arguing. 

“Vi!” You cried, which quickly caught Jinx’s attention. Once she too noticed that they had taken Vi, she quickly charged at them only to be covered in a plume of smoke. You tried your best not to inhale whatever black substance was used to create the smoke.

And as the cloud dissipated you realized…

She was gone.

[lady-iskra]

"Why do you want to make a deadbeat dad out of Aang?", "Aang wasn't a bad father, he was just flawed!"

No one said this to me personally, but those or similar claims I read coming from people defending Aang and his actions towards his non-airbender children.

The thing is: I and many A:TLA fans don't want to make a deadbeat dad out of Aang. And for the flawed-thing: where do people draw the line?

I draw the line when the non-bender son apologizes to his father's statue for something he had no control over. Because he felt his father's disappointment, likely more than once in his life.

I draw the line when an air acolyte—one of the persons who are supposed to know everything about Aang's life—doesn't know that her messiah has more than one child. That means Aang never, ever talked about his other children. Wanna prove me wrong? Then show me other air acolytes later on in the same episode who indeed know about his other children and love the stories Aang, as a proud father, used to tell them about Kya and Bumi. And his soulmate Katara...

I draw the line when a father, who barely sees his other two children and his wife who is supposed to be his soulmate, decides to take whole vacations with his one airbender son and neglects the rest of his family even in his free time.

So, no, I don't want to make a deadbeat dad out of Aang. The narrative did it. Bryke did it, and, as someone who loves Aang, I was pissed af. Cancel Bumi's apology, the scene with the air acolyte and the vacations, keep Aang travelling with Tenzin alone to the air temples as some kind of duty and show me beautiful memories of Aang hugging and playing around with his whole family, and I believe that he was just flawed.

The family portrait in which Tenzin was a few months old and didn't even show signs of airbending isn't enough evidence—none at all. You find those happy-smiling portraits in every happy and unhappy household (Pink's song "Family Portrait" comes to mind). I never read the comics, but heard they retcon the scene in Korra so far that it would only make sense if Kya and Bumi would have memory loss or dementia.

The Aang I know from A:TLA would've loved to pass on his culture to all of his children, airbenders or not. They don't have to be airbenders to learn about it.

Bryke are great world builders and artists, but no writers, they should let other people do the job. They are literally the only writers I know who refuse to learn from their mistakes, keep on retconning instead, and are defended by some people among the fandom for it.

And surprise, surprise: what Katara thought about it, if she said anything to Aang or if she just sat back and watched, wasn't even mentioned in the talk between the siblings.

TL;DR: Bryke decided to portray Aang's actions as a father and husband to the extent that it comes off as if he isn't interested in his non-airbender children and Katara at all. It isn't me and the other critics who want to portray him as a deadbeat dad, on the contrary: as someone who loves Aang, it pisses me off. A family portrait makes no difference, because it proves nothing. And neither do the comics. Either you manage to convey the message you want to send in this exact scene, or you miss the mark.

[shitpostingfromthebarricade]

Ah! Which Grantaire ramble, can you please remind me?

With every respect and in the spirit of amicable debate, I feel Hugo basically addresses your Nat Turner point in 1.1.10 in the Bishop's debate with Conventionist G——, quoted below the cut.

The Bishop felt, without, perhaps, confessing it, that something within him had suffered extinction. Nevertheless, he put a good face on the matter. He replied:— “The judge speaks in the name of justice; the priest speaks in the name of pity, which is nothing but a more lofty justice. A thunderbolt should commit no error.” And he added, regarding the member of the Convention steadily the while, “Louis XVII.?” The conventionary stretched forth his hand and grasped the Bishop’s arm. “Louis XVII.! let us see. For whom do you mourn? is it for the innocent child? very good; in that case I mourn with you. Is it for the royal child? I demand time for reflection. To me, the brother of Cartouche, an innocent child who was hung up by the armpits in the Place de Grève, until death ensued, for the sole crime of having been the brother of Cartouche, is no less painful than the grandson of Louis XV., an innocent child, martyred in the tower of the Temple, for the sole crime of having been grandson of Louis XV.” “Monsieur,” said the Bishop, “I like not this conjunction of names.” “Cartouche? Louis XV.? To which of the two do you object?” A momentary silence ensued. The Bishop almost regretted having come, and yet he felt vaguely and strangely shaken. The conventionary resumed:— “Ah, Monsieur Priest, you love not the crudities of the true. Christ loved them. He seized a rod and cleared out the Temple. His scourge, full of lightnings, was a harsh speaker of truths. When he cried, ‘Sinite parvulos,’ he made no distinction between the little children. It would not have embarrassed him to bring together the Dauphin of Barabbas and the Dauphin of Herod. Innocence, Monsieur, is its own crown. Innocence has no need to be a highness. It is as august in rags as in fleurs de lys.” “That is true,” said the Bishop in a low voice. “I persist,” continued the conventionary G—— “You have mentioned Louis XVII. to me. Let us come to an understanding. Shall we weep for all the innocent, all martyrs, all children, the lowly as well as the exalted? I agree to that. But in that case, as I have told you, we must go back further than ’93, and our tears must begin before Louis XVII. I will weep with you over the children of kings, provided that you will weep with me over the children of the people.” “I weep for all,” said the Bishop. “Equally!” exclaimed conventionary G——; “and if the balance must incline, let it be on the side of the people. They have been suffering longer.”

We already know about Hugo's feelings on John Brown, an American abolitionist executed for role in the 1859 raid/rebellion at Harpers Ferry, but given that Nat Turner's rebellion occurred in 1831, I'm really curious

1) What Hugo's thoughts and feelings were (or would have been if he'd known about it) at that time, and

2) If the Amis would have taken notice, if they might have taken action (a la Hugo writing to the US government in an attempt to gain sympathy/a pardon for Brown), or if they would have continued focusing on exactly what's in front of them in France.

Besides Feuilly's Poland comment (in canin he is explicitly described as having adopted the world, so this is somewhat unsurprising coming from him), which does indicate some knowledge of politics outside of France's realm of direct influence, I'm not sure I recall any of the Amis ever discussing the current events of other countries. Even France's colonial holdings at that time e.g. Haiti I don't recall ever being explicitly referred to by the Amis. Does their mission extend to Paris, to France, to France and "her holdings," or the world?

[yuikomorii]

Helloo! I don’t know if you remember me but I sent you once something about Yui in LE and now, after I played some routes, I can confirm that she’s my last fav Yui. 😬

// I have a complicated relationship with LE Yui, haha. I appreciate her for being more lively than CL Yui, but she mostly gave me the ick because she was definitely one of the most annoying LE characters.

I typically don't mind characters that are represented as jerks and upright mean, since you know what to expect from them, but I really dislike when characters who are portrayed as goody-shoes, do such messed-up and morally wrong things.

When I first went through LE, I didn’t start with Ayato’s route, given that I heard from many people about how tough it is and I wasn't emotionally prepared, so I started with others. I didn't like how she talked ill about her lover behind his back (more than once) and how her foolishness caused her to disclose critical secrets to people she shouldn't have and get into more troubles than normal. Nonetheless, I didn't think she was too bad… until Ruki's route, where she convinced the Mukami brothers that Karl wasn't a bad person because he returned their lives to "redeem" himself when we all know he only used them as pawns. But, if I thought THIS was bad, Ayato's LE route came.

~Things wrong with Yui in Ayato’s LE route~

1. Yui tried to convince Ayato that despite the fact that Cordelia abused him, “she only did it because she cared about his future”. And then had the audacity to act surprised when he started feeling sick.

2. The main reason why Ayato didn’t want to trust Richter, wasn’t necessarily his trauma, but the fact Richter actually hurt Yui and, in his book someone hurting his girlfriend is unforgivable. Nevertheless, when his brothers started a scandal about Richter and all ganged up against Ayato, not even letting him express HIS point of view, Yui did nothing but stand there staring. Although, after Ayato blew up the mansion again as a result of reactive abuse, she acknowledged that his brothers attacking him like that wasn’t right, but she still didn’t say it out loud to defend him, when she knew the reason behind his actions.

3. After Reiji and Ruki became Ayato's enemies, she went to them without telling him, which made him concerned, to convey her man's sadness and loneliness. I'm sorry, but this was the dumbest plan ever, considering that it was evident they wouldn't have cared about it, and hearing such a thing made them even more eager to mock and plot his downfall. In the end, despite her good intentions, she solved nothing but made things worse, including being bitten by Reiji, which caused Ayato to lose his mind. Based on the previous events, I'm not shocked he believed she would betray him.

4. The scenes in which Ayato began acting coldly towards her were my favorite parts of his LE route. In other LE routes, after doing or saying stupid things, the disputes were resolved in the next chapter or those actions were never mentioned, but I enjoyed how she was actually humbled here. I love Yui in general, but in LE, she deserved this treatment.

5. I assumed she had learnt her lesson, given that Ayato still cared for her despite his coldness, but then she goes to the Viboras to prove herself worthy of his trust. I liked how she tried to solve something (even if she didn't), but what made her behavior even WORSE was that 1) she justified Ruki giving Ayato a hard time and joining forces with the Church to kill him, and 2) she talked ill behind her lover's back despite telling Ayato the exact opposite face to face. I understand that Ayato didn't act very king-like, but at the same time, no one truly took him seriously or believed in him. Also, idk, but she should have tried to defend him, at least this time, instead of empathizing more with someone who hurt her man—?

Credit to: dialovers-translations on Tumblr

I also find it amusing how LE is the only main DL game with no wedding at all, especially since Ayato was usually the one to marry her. I think he secretly didn't want it in LE, given that he didn’t even think of proposing. :”)

She’s definitely not a bad person though, but she kinda started acting up. I think that’s another reason why I don’t want a new game. I’m afraid they’ll ruin her even more. T-T

[vanpalmerenthusiast]

hi, hi, hi! i adore your analysis, and wanted to ask your thoughts about van’s and taissa’s relationships, and how it’s connected and dependent on the former’s devotion as well.

the fact that van has no moral compass when she feels like her actions will please someone she cares about, says a lot about her character, i think - i truly believe that it is not a bad thing to say about her. it’s just.. who she is.

“...i don’t think anyone should ever feel ashamed about this, travis.” this phrase was the seed that made me think: what if van does feel guilty or ashamed, even, because she understands that it’s not right (some part of her brain), but her mind is so stuck in the past and the fact that they survived, that i doubt she’d ever come to terms that all of them were at fault.? i like how she defends lottie when taissa brings up the idea of closing her in the mental hospital - they know that none of them is sane, or remotely deserving of being free - but can’t say much against it, because taissa said so. because it would please her. because van wants to be good for her.

@cassioo ily you are genuinely so good at prompts i love answering your asks

i’m sorry this took so long, i promise i didn’t forget!!

hello everyone i’m back with another vanessa anne palmer deep dive 

we all know by now that she’s my favorite yellowjacket so i’m obsessed with writing about her. a few people have asked me for my thoughts and ideas about this, so let’s get into it!!

taivan is a similar yet completely different situation from parkinglot, and i say this because in some ways they’re the exact same: van completely throws all of herself into the relationship, she would do anything to please or be there for tai, and her moral compass is not one of the factors in her relationship. i love how you said that it isn’t a bad thing, but it just IS part of her, and i completely agree. she’s dependent solely on her connection with other people, and what she has to do to protect that connection and to let it thrive doesn’t abide by any rules. it’s just what has to be done.

something different between the taivan and parkinglot relationships, though, is that no. 1, taivan is a romantic relationship. parkinglot is, like i always say, the secret third thing. no. 2, van sees lottie as a religious figure, and that’s very different from how she sees tai. other than that, with van’s devotional tendencies in mind, the pairings are actually really similar. she wants to keep the other content and happy- no matter how she feels about the subject, it gets shoved down somewhere deep inside her by her desperation to please the person she loves. 

i love that you brought up her scene with travis after javi’s death, because i think about that all the time in relation to this. she is ashamed, somewhere inside her, in the part that still lives in new jersey and never crashed. but van suppresses that, because they’re doing what they have to to survive, right? it isn’t really their fault, is it? it’s what had to be done. 

that’s a common theme we see in van, her ability to overlook what is right and wrong for the sake of the cause, for the sake of others. for the sake of who she loves. like you said, we see this in the mental hospital scene with tai. van is the first of them to actually acknowledge that what lottie is and has been going through is their fault- good job, van- and say what we all know to be true, that not a single one of those girls is remotely sane. she knows this, they all know it to some extent. but that belief is out the window when tai says so (at least at first). after all these years, that connection, that devotion (i will NEVER stop) is still there, and she cannot fight off the need to accommodate for tai, or lottie… which is why they eventually call the crisis team off. because van couldn’t live with herself if she had been partly to blame for lottie being hospitalized, the girl who was formerly her leader and religious figurehead. van is still somewhat of a believer, 25 years later, because that part of her that still fights to survive in the wilderness comes alive when she’s back with everyone else. 

anyways i love this girl bad, anyone who wants to please ask me more about her!! i want to do a whole post on like the symbolism we see with van (for example, phoenix themes, dog themes, wolves, allat) 💋

[starzzyeyed]

Hi! Are you still doing Hug Prompts?! If so, can I request HotchReid #36? I love all your HotchReid writings!

Hi! I most definitely am, thank you so much!

I actually have a much longer fic with this premise set during the Lo-Fi/Mayhem arc that I'll add a link to here for you too!

But here's your prompt fill, I hope you enjoy and thank you again for your kind words <3

36 - I thought you were dead hug.

Despite the clarity of the sound of the shot that rings through the air around them, Hotch can’t hear anything other than the thundering of his own heart in his ears.

He thinks Morgan shouts something, or maybe it’s Rossi, but the only thing he knows besides how fast his own heart is beating is how much adrenaline is currently being released into his body; flooding through his bloodstream, enabling him to flee the danger his mind subconsciously recognises is nearby.

Except, it’s not him who’s in danger.

bad enough, he was having to instruct his partner, who he knows is less physically capable of defending himself than himself or Morgan is, into danger on his own.

He’s terrified of what he might find as he keeps moving forwards towards where he thinks Spencer must have found Lindsey, and then a door opens in front of him and for the briefest of seconds, his heart stops altogether, because if someone is walking away from the scene, especially without screaming for help, the chances of there being a casualty inside is lowered.

But then-

Then he sees who it is, sees that it’s Jack.

Not only Jack, but Jack and Lindsey, which means there only people remaining inside the room are-

The fact that Jack had immediately raised his hands does nothing to ease Hotch’s fear.

Hotch feels as though he’s about to faint as he bursts through the room of the men’s bathroom, expecting to see his partner covered in blood and most likely on the floor, and the fact that Spencer isn’t either of these things surprises him so much that, for a moment, he’s unable to do anything other than stare straight ahead, his eyes on the body of the teenager on the floor but not really seeing the scene before him.

Slowly, he forces himself to take a few steps towards Ryan’s body, taking in what’s happened before his eyes catch with Spencer’s at the exact same time as Morgan speaks.

“You okay, Reid?”

Hotch only just barely manages to contain his desires until Morgan’s hand has left Spencer’s shoulder, until he and Rossi have filed out of the room, before he’s crossing the room again in three long strides and pulling his partner against his chest in a crushing hug.

He hears Spencer gasp slightly, clearly not expecting the action and really, Hotch can’t blame him. They’re almost never physically affectionate with each other in public, and especially not in a fresh crime scene that will still need to be processed, but he can’t help himself this time.

He’s been keeping it together this entire case, coming up against so many more unexpected developments and issues than usual, not to mention the fact that it’s a case involving children, and the thought that he’d lost Spencer, especially after he’d sent his partner into this situation alone… that had been the straw that broke his back.

Subsequently, the relief that he felt seeing Spencer not only alive, but alive and uninjured, had been too much to squash back down.

“I thought you were dead,” he breathes into his partner’s long hair before Spencer has the chance to question his unusual behaviour. “We heard the shot from outside and I thought-… I thought I’d sent you in here to your death.”

He both feels and hears Spencer inhale a sharp breath before his arms are wrapping around Hotch’s back, pulling him against his own chest as tightly as he can in return.

“Never,” the younger man whispers back, tucking his face into the side of Hotch’s neck and breathing out a shaky sigh. “Never, Aaron. Never.”

[bl-inded]

Okay but Mohk is such a green flag. It hurt me to watch this episode 😭. Like we've known for a few episodes now that mohk cares deeply for Day. He himself only put words to that feeling this episode.

Call it whatever you want but he is starting to realise this is more. And it hurts because the thing he struggles with most is if he is wanted. The previous episodes even pointed out that he broke up with Porjai because he didn't want to burden her.

With all that in mind the way he treats August is of someone who genuinely believes in Day's happiness. He doesn't assume he knows better. He doesn't assume he's the one who has to "protect" Day. Don't get me wrong, he's protective. he's always there in case he does need him, but he tries to let him fight his own battles.

There is a certain kind of jealousy that always gets glorified in media. And i get it's appeal. But this kind of jealousy - the kind where you want to be the helper (or the match maker as Mohk says). Where you have to be aware of yourself and your place- that speaks to me way more. It's the kind of jealousy where you aren't claiming ownership, but you're wishing you could be their safe space. And if you can't you will make them that safe space even if it's at the cost of your feelings.

Here's the thing though. Mohk is Day's safe space. He's the first person Day looks for when he feels overwhelmed. His absence at the party clearly affected Day too. Mohk is his shoulder to cry on, his narrator, and his eyes. He's someone Day knows he can rely on without feeling like he's being 'taken care of'. And yet.

Honestly. I get it. You do not get over your lifelong crush that easily. Realising your feelings for one person does not automatically get you guidebook on your own feelings. It's hard every time. (And upto this exact moment I was fully ready to defend August and his actions but the "I kissed him coz I pity him" thing really had me seething)

And Jimmy. Sir. The actor that you are. I felt his pain and confusion throughout the episode. The despair, the longing, the butterflies, the desire. Doc. UNFAIIIIRRRR

Based on nothing but the way he was looking at Day in this scene I knew we were getting a kiss. He manages to pack sooooo much emotion in those eyes I was DYING IN ANTICIPATION OVER HERE. I knew Jimmy and Sea were going to ruin us with this series and I was right. Damn.

[king-magnifico-haven]

🌟 King Magnifico: Hero? Or Villain? 🌟

🌟🌖 There’s no shortage of red flags that come up whenever King Magnifico’s on screen, but in my opinion, none of them have to do with him being a villain. They all have to do with him being a fallen hero, a character that’s taken advantage of at every opportunity.

The Youtube video ‘Wish is Everything Wrong with Disney’ and the most vocal of Magnifico Defenders have already beautifully explained my reasons for thinking this, but after watching certain scenes and listening to ‘This is the Thanks I Get’ (even with its agonizingly horrible lyrics) I just wanted to share my opinions too, as a Magnifico Defender. 

The scene between him and Asha is meant to portray him as a villain, but there’s absolutely nothing in this scene that shows him off as evil. Instead there’s quite a bit showing him crying out for help. He confides in Asha about his wish, but is promptly ignored. She quickly jumps into asking for her grandfather’s wish to be granted.  

The frustration and disappointment in Magnifico’s voice at that point is crystal clear (hats off to Chris Pine). And keep in mind just mere moments ago, he confided in her about his wish. Something he probably doesn’t share often. He even mentioned her father. There was so much potential for a positive friendship, or maybe even relationship (if the movie had been written without Amaya), but everything’s completely skewered. 

‘Wish is Everything Wrong with Disney’ exquisitely gets a couple of points across, this being one of them: the scene between Asha and Magnifico was meant to portray Magnifico as this heartless bastard of a villain. It was also meant to villainize his system. But as we can clearly see, the citizens of Rosas aren’t suffering under his system. It’s a well-known, established system in which the citizens are merrily thriving. Outside of Simon, the only thing the citizens are suffering from is an addiction to wish ceremonies. 

And it’s stated, several times, how the wishes are given up willingly. Not just by Magnifico himself, but by Asha. Who happily sang about the very same wish system in ‘Welcome to Rosas’. 

It would’ve made a lot more sense if Asha had just moved to Rosas, and was told something incorrect about Magnifico’s wish system, only to find out everything’s a lie, but that’s not how it went. She ends up being like ‘omg Magnifico’s wish system is the greatest’ to villainizing the same exact system in her interview. 

In regards to Asha’s interview: Magnifico loses a couple of points for mocking Asha because ‘you’re young, you don’t know anything, really’ and for pretty much telling her ‘haha, I’m not granting your grandfather’s wish, sorry, loser’, but it was at that point he came off as more of an irritated hero than a villain. Nothing about either of those actions has him come off as anything even remotely close to Scar or Frollo. Maybe more of a Gaston?  

But not even really him. Magnifico’s just pissed at this point. Disney doesn’t really do death that often but he could’ve easily banished Asha and her family from the kingdom. However he pretty much just said ‘sorry, not today’ and walked off. 

Then there’s several scenes in which he speaks with the townspeople. Here lies the fault with how Amaya was handled. In my opinion, she pretty much doesn’t do anything but stand beside him. He speaks to the townspeople about a potential threat, they immediately go into a frenzy about another wish ceremony, and then we see him with his ‘OMG I’m so done’ look. Perfect opportunity for her to step in and take the baton. 

Amaya says absolutely nothing to comfort him during these critical scenes either. We get the ‘you’re such a handsome king’ and the hand kiss scene but there’s nothing deeper than that. Nothing that says ‘I love you, my dear Magnifico’. It’s about as surface level as the citizens of Rosas worshipping him because he can grant their wishes.  

Then there’s ‘This is the Thanks I Get’. Amaya’s absent throughout the entire song. She could have intervened at any point to comfort him. He was heading downstairs with the Evil Book. She could’ve have found him and said something along the lines of ‘oh no, please don’t do that, my love, we can work this out’ or ‘it’s okay, my love, Asha doesn’t mean any harm, she just loves her family’. Or maybe something like ‘it’s okay, my love, the star doesn’t mean any harm’. She could’ve been the very person that changed the course of the movie. 

You know, the power of true love and all that. 

We’ve seen her calm him down before. It worked. He was receptive towards her. He continued being receptive towards her. Even as he surrendered to the Book’s influence! 

Come to think of it, Simon’s the only thing that indicates Magnifico’s any bit of a villain. Not even The Book points to him being a villain because of course he was kinda possessed by it. He was terrified by a potential threat against their kingdom, due to his past, and went into Panic Mode. Unable to find any answers on how to deal with said threat in his books, he turned to the worst option available: The Book. He even said he didn’t want to be ‘tethered’ to The Book, but ‘desperate times call for desperate measures’. 

Without anyone around to convince him to put the book down.

Not Amaya, not Asha, not Valentino, Simon, a royal guard, the ghost of Asha’s father-no one. Magnifico was all alone. 

It kinda seems like he was alone the entire time. 🌖🌟

[legobiwan]

May I ask about your Star Wars fanfics? I wanted you to know I really enjoy them to read on my off time!

May we know your opinions/ headcannons on Dooku and Qui gon's relationship?

How was there dynamic during there early years?

Do you think deep down in when dooku is alone in Sereno, asleep he dreams of seeing his old padawan one last time?

This lyric comes to mind I added on to it.

"Alone and forgotten, i never thought he'd look at me again, but he smiled at me, and I held him.. just like I used to do. Like I used to when he was scarred as a child. Or maybe he was holding me?

Holding me to the light as he used to hold me and look at me, those eyes so full of hope and admiration"

You may absolutely ask me about my Star Wars fics! Thank you for reading my stories! (I swear one day I'm going to finish off those WIPs, aaaaaaaaaa).

Caveat that I'm not as active in the fandom these days (on a bit of Star Wars sabbatical), but I do feel (and I'm someone who melds Master & Apprentice, Jedi Lost, and Dark Rendezvous into canon as I see fit) that in contrast to Dooku's relationship with Rael (which was surprisingly casual, especially as Rael aged. This, if I may be allowed a small tangent, is probably a combination of Rael's aggressive form of charm and Dooku's inexperience and youth)

...but anyway, in comparison to Dooku and Rael, there's this...distance, on the surface, that Dooku keeps from Qui-gon. Their relationship, at least the trappings of it, is more formal, their roles more defined. (This being said, anytime Rael pops by and the three of them are together, those neatly constructed walls start to crumble). This doesn't mean Dooku doesn't care about Qui-gon. He cares, deeply. But as we see in Tales of the Jedi, Qui-gon's apprenticeship years mark the true beginnings of Dooku's disillusionment with the Jedi Order and his slow fall to the Dark Side. And I think part of this detachment from Qui-gon (even as he shows a ferocious protectiveness over him) is, in part, Dooku trying to shield Qui-gon from his more insidious desires and actions. (This backfires, on more than one occasion, when Dooku chokes the crap/lightening attacks/otherwise manhandles out of various enemies who were either threatening his Padawan or were obviously part of the bloating corruption that was metastasizing across the entire Republic).

And to get back to their relationship, we have Dooku being a little more standoff-ish. A little older, a bit more bitter, in general. And young Qui-gon is less outwardly brash than Dooku (at least when he was younger) and Qui-gon is definitely intimidated his new Master. (Although he respects him as a teacher and while Dooku is an exacting, demanding instructor he is also always fair. Whatever his personal troubles are, Dooku is never anything less than a damn fine teacher).

So yes, Dooku cares. Qui-gon's death had no small part in his eventual choice to join the Sith and I have no doubts whatsoever that he dreams both of Qui-gon and Rael regularly as he lies alone in that gigantic, empty bed on Serenno. (I think Dooku, as much as he was trying to manipulate Obi-wan in AotC by bringing up Qui-gon's name, was also being completely honest with Obi-wan in that moment. Actually, he was wholly honest with Obi-wan that entire scene and got shot down due to - at least as Dooku would have seen it - Jedi indoctrination).

And it's this caring that helps to bury Dooku in the end. Caring about his Padawans. Caring about the Republic. About Serenno. About the Jedi. For a man that is so stoic and proper, he is passionate and invested in the future of all the different organizations and governments and societies he's tasked with defending (to the point he'd rather burn them down than allow them to continue to fester). But more than any of that - the Jedi, the Republic, Serenno - Dooku is a teacher. A teacher who is instructing in an intense, one-on-one relationship that puts him in the position of half-mentor/half-parent. We see it when he and Rael embrace after meeting again years later; we see it when Dooku asks an adult Qui-gon for information about this Sith, to protect Qui-gon; we see it when Dooku is forced to turn on Ventress; we see it when he tries to recruit Obi-wan again and again (and, for the record, does not kill him in the bridge scene in RotS when he easily could have crushed Obi-wan with that platform).

This is all to say Dooku cares. And that, to some degree, was exactly the problem.

[princeescaluswords]

Unsolicited Tips for Fanfiction Writers #1: The Lecture

I want to preface this with the idea that I'm not writing this from some position of authorial scold. This is a problem with my own writing about which I have had to be very careful.

Every author experiences moments when they need to deliver exposition, elucidate a theme, or provide context for an action for their story. This is especially true in fanfiction, when a writer feels enormous pressure to relate the work before them with the original source material. Having one character explain it to another is not only an effective solution but in certain genres expected. Characters who don't know certain things often have to learn about them.

But it can get tricky, especially when it comes to fanfiction. Sometimes the reader can suddenly become aware that they're being addressed by the author telling them what to think, and that's usually not the reason why someone reads a story. While some readers are in tune with the author so much that it doesn't bother them, a lot of readers will feel that they're the ones being lectured.

In my opinion, the key to delivering a useful and non-intrusive lecture in your story is the relationships between the speaker and their audience. Is there a reason for the speaker to be delivering the information? Are they an authority on the topic? Is there a reason for the audience to listen to the speaker? Do they respect the speaker or need the information being delivered? If these things don't exist, the curtain parts and the reader experiences the author talking directly to them.

I'll give you an example. In a recent Teen Wolf fanfiction I came across, a crossover with Hawaii 5-0, Stiles went to the islands and became involved with the team, and Steve Garrett returned with him to Beacon Hills for other reasons, but Stiles wants to "give Scott a chance" to make things up to Stiles. It really should have been labeled "Bad Friend Scott McCall" but no one really labels things correctly.

Plot events occur, but the latest chapter has a scene where Steve Garret lectures Scott on how badly he's been treating Stiles, calls him a spineless coward, and threatens him with violence if Scott hurts Stiles emotionally. It's a lecture all right. But here's the problem (as I put into the constructive criticism comment I left for the author).

Why the hell would Scott not just turn around and walk out of the hospital room after his first sentence? Who the hell is Steve Garrett to Scott? We, the readers, know who that is, but Scott doesn't know this person from Adam. Scott, of course, doesn't defend himself, because in these types of "The Author Hates Canon and Will Make It Your Problem" stories, the characters they dislike never get a chance to defend themselves. But the real important point I feel is -- what in Scott's characterization implies that he would listen to a white male stranger, however dangerous and threatening, scold him on how he has to treat Stiles? It's not like that exact thing hasn't happened before.

I should have realized that this story would be full of the "Author Telling Me Why I Shouldn't Like Scott." In an earlier chapter, Peter says this gem to Stiles:

“Isn’t he? How much easier would your life have been, your father’s life had been, if Scott had accepted what he became sooner? How better would your lives be if he hadn’t tried to ignore the insane, serious change he went through and put all of your lives at stake just to pretend he was a normal boy to be able to get the girl he confused lust for love for? And that’s not even touching on who said girl and her family even were!” 

I let that go, because this is not out of character for Peter to be a manipulative douchebag. And since Stiles had come to Peter, it wasn't completely out of line for him to listen. I was surprised that Stiles didn't respond. "I did wonder how much easier my life would have been if you hadn't tried to mind-control Scott into killing me, so there's that." But this is an older Stiles, so maybe he's not as sarcastic.

But the lecture from Steve Garrett was the breaking point. I was out of the story permanently. Even if you think Scott is the stupidest werewolf that ever lived, it's still part of his characterization -- which the author never bothered to change because the purpose of this story was to express their hatred of Scott McCall -- that he doesn't let weird strange white men tell him what to do.

I mean, what's left at this point? If Scott's this bad -- a spineless coward who is completely in the wrong but wont' recognize it -- why does Stiles even care? He lives thousands of miles away in Hawaii! If Scott's this bad -- someone so selfish and oblivious that Peter Hale is a better person and a overly-tanned white cop from another state has to threaten him -- why does Scott even care? What is this story but a 30k (so far) lecture on why the author didn't like the show? I'm pretty sure I know the answer already -- either Scott will be killed/maimed/humiliated or he will throw himself at Stiles feet and apologize for not centering his life around Stiles's needs. Either way, Stiles will go back to the big island, having defeated his nemesis (Scott, in case the audience wasn't paying attention) and live happily ever after.

You can write stories like this, but if you want to reach an audience larger than the people who already agree with you, it might do well to make sure that the characters are characters, and not mouthpieces.

[pa-pa-plasma]

okay, I didn't see this until now (& op turned reblogs off apparently) but I'll address some stuff under a readmore just to clear stuff up.

"one piece has multiple queer characters" One Piece literally has a gay club that hands out free transitions to transgender people. I am not making this shit up. Also, Luffy is asexual & aromantic. "multiple" doesn't really do it justice

"the whole "tumblr crossing the picket line" thing in promoting it (i think? i've heard people talking about it at least)" tumblr didn't cross a picket line. tumblr is allowed to advertise, as they (as in the website & the people who run it) are not planning to be part of the writer or actor unions. this is just regular advertising that other movies & shows have done & are doing.

"the strangeness of what things tumblr decides to promote and in what intensities they do for which things" again, tumblr was paid to promote One Piece. yes, there are problems with what tumblr pushes & what it hides, but it was paid to do this. it isn't favouring One Piece for no reason. it is favouring One Piece because it was paid to. if Our Flag Means Death wanted to advertise on tumblr, they could.

"the fact that what little i know about the original one piece is sexism" the series started in the 90's in Japan, so yes, there is a lot that isn't great, but for a lot of us it was our first experience of seeing openly queer characters & women who can beat the shit out of you. for the bad stuff (basically just out of date shit) the live action series does fix this, but I think it would be good to consider that it was 90's Japan when Oda wrote it with queer & strong (as in, power level type shit) women in mind. this isn't fucking Harry Potter we're talking about, where all the bad shit is a fundamental part of the creator's worldview & personality. this is like, some old shit that didn't age good like everything else that exists ever. his art style is kinda fucky & I won't defend it but like. we're talking about the live action which negates all that. also, as someone else pointed out, the women are drawn sexy, but so are the men. have you seen Zoro's massive tits?

"and the fact that netflix remakes in the past usually aren't well received." the One Piece Live Action series not only has fans involved, but the creator of the original series working on it. they also made the physical sets (most of which are ships on the water) & only used CGI when they literally couldn't use practical FX (Luffy stretching, for instance). if you looked into it at all, you would've seen that this is not the same as, say, The Lion King. people tend to forget that it isn't the "live action" itself that is bad, but the execution. One Piece Live Action was executed very, very well with what it had to work with, & we could see this ahead of time, not just when the show came out. I literally teared up at parts because I felt like I was watching One Piece again for the first time. All the important scenes were 1:1 with the original, & they even played the original theme song We Are (instrumental version). That is how good it is. It was made with love & you can clearly see it.

I appreciate the apology, but the fact that you didn't know anything about it (you're allowed to look stuff up) before putting this post in the main tags is like. why. people (not just the op in the screenshots, as I've seen this multiple times in different fandoms) need to learn that if you hate something, block the tag, don't go into tag complaining about what you think the series is. this is how you ruin the experience for fans--& yourself. you are doing the exact thing you are complaining about tumblr doing, except worse, because you're just ignorantly shitting on it, & not even in a funny way.

anyway, go experience some childlike wonder & watch OPLA, or don't. I literally don't care.

[biilssst]

Nitpicking a LilyOrchard response video until the video got so boring. I decided to nitpick Lilys video.

so I was going to talk about this person that was responding to a LilyOrchard video, but it was super boring and way too long, so here are the cliff notes this person states that they are a fan of Lily, well, it wasn’t really obvious in this video because they decided to use the dreaded words of that lily really hates with “only if it’s done, right”.

after that, they proceeded to say another thing that makes me think they didn’t even watch Lily’s video and that is trying to define Mary Sue I’m in agreement that there really isn’t a proper definition of this term because this term is really situational to the point where we have to kind of admit that there really is an appoint. They’re also a believer of Mary Sue should have gendered specifics and that’s where I basically fell asleep. Gosh, this video was pretty boring.

anyway, let’s nitpick the fuck out of Lily’s Mary Sue video because that’s far more interesting than this one trying to respond. To get things slightly started is that she likes action scenes which you know I don’t mind action but I prefer my action to be about people that I care about but you know, you like what you like. and in all honesty, that’s like almost 10% of the movie maybe even 20 but we gotta be very honest with ourselves that Captain Marvel is an extremely boring movie when the most notable things are it has action and there’s this cute moment you must really make me think that 80 or even 70% of this movie. It’s just a boring ass thing out there that she doesn’t even bring it up. Anyway, we can move onto the dumb Luke scene you know the one it’s that one scene that everybody keeps trying to use to defend Rey because as we know, return of the Jedi is not the final movie, it’s the first movie of the original trilogy. And by that context doesn’t that mean superman getting his shit kicked in by Lex Luthor in the exact same series can be used as proof that superman is not a Mary Sue. And finally will talk about Rey personality, and how the filmmakers of the last Jedi forgot about it. And you know what I feel that the filmmakers of the force awakens also forgot rey personality because the second she picks up the lightsaber is the second she loses any of those traits that Lily described that she had. Because she just becomes all about the force in the lightsaber.

[torchstelechos]

I was sitting here, trying to articulate why I disagreed with how you’ve pieced this together, when i realized we were having a slight miscommunication of our own. My usage of calm here was in direct reflection of how one would call Bingge “calm”, which is to say, calm as in methodical. Or in other words, doing something in such a way that reads outwardly as systematic (pun not intended) but inwardly could be something else.

During the Di-er, first kill, the quote also says “But he didn’t hold back, not even a little” which belays a certain methodical approach to the situation when he then outlines his reasons. Yes, this is his brainwashing technique he does to himself but he still allows for a certain amount of methodical actions to take place when he does this. So, in this instance of first time killing, he is much more methodical or calm than most novel protagonists would be (or real people). It also helps to note that in this scene he let Di-er monologue and continue talking while enjoying this. He is very calm throughout considering the circumstances (yes I know he was screaming about how dumb Di-er was in his head, yes this isn’t normal calm, but this is also SY we are talking about that is his calm) so while I do consider his feelings and narration imply that he does not enjoy taking a life he is also not overcome with something so profound that he swears off killing entirely. He is more of a middle ground upset about killing than what is considered normal.

The Abyss scene! Ah, how this one profound instance changed the entire series into something more series. I would like to say what I meant in the original reply is that he is calm up to pushing, and isn’t after. Because I was using the methodical calm, rather than emotional calm, we have an instance of sever miscommunication because from Binghe’s prespective is exactly what I was trying to say! He is cold to Binghe, and Binghe notes that its the exact same face as he does when killing demons! This is a calm, calculated, and methodical approach that he does without thinking. SQQ is not allowing his turmoil to show outside of his mind, and from other’s POV is rather calm. From an internal POV we know hes having a hard time, and later when he announces LBH is dead he does so in a weird way. Almost like he didnt believe it (noted by LQG). Up to pushing BInghe, he is calm and methodical in his actions and approach to the situation despite his mind and personal feelings on the matter (strange to say, but our more reliable narrator in this instance is Binghe. This is kind of frighting to say) but it is after that it shifts into an outward struggle that destroys his calm facade.

Any time SQQ is in danger, while absolutely screaming in his head, we have to note that he doesn’t have the normal reaction to such instances. He attacks and defends with a methodical movement that I would describe as calm outwardly. Its much the same with Bingge and SJ, both individuals who I personally wouldn’t describe of having a calm mind but actions are thorough and methodical in nature. So this is all to say, I think we had a miscommunication which was on my part because of the usage of calm without doing my due diligence in explaining my thought process.

the true svsss meta experience is realizing that shen yuan and bingge have A LOT of stuff in common

[hoardingpuffin]

Autistic Person reacts to Autistic Representation in Young Royals Season 2

Spoiler Warning for Young Royals Season 2

Soooo I just finished Season 2 of Young Royals and oh boi, I have thoughts. In general, but about Sara in particular. I was curious about her arc in the second season, purely cause she is one of the most complex autistic characters I have seen in recently produced media, even though I couldn't relate to her particularily much.

This has changed now that I have seen Season 2 Episode 6. I will be honest, for the first 5 episodes, I didn't like what they did with Sara. I really didn't. I thought her arc with August was weird, though I did like seeing a driven autistic character who does things to get what she wants instead of being a flimsy, quirky kid who doesn't know what she is doing, but episode 6 changed that for me.

One thing that many autistic people experience, is that we take people at face value, until we don't anymore. Most autistic people have been victims of bullying and emotional manipulation, without realizing. We tend to be literal, and in general - unless we learned differently, usually as a follow-up to us being told to not always say what we think - we are very honest and blunt. In return we expect other people to act the same. This continues until the point where we realize that this isn't true, that people don't always say what they mean. In many cases, including my own life, this realization doesn't come until a few times of believing someone was our friend only to have them humiliate, betray or hurt you. And from that point on we tend to turn into metaphorical snails pulling back into our shells. If we don't put ourselves out, we cannot be hurt again.

Sara to me seems like someone learning this lesson at the end of season 2. She genuinely believed August because she, in her mind, didn't have a reason to think he might not mean exactly what he was saying. This was made worse by her maybe also wanting to see good in him, as per the metaphorical rose-coloured glasses of being in love. So whilst she made a mistake, a grave one, and made a lot of things worse with her actions, I don't think she meant to. I think she honestly didn't think August would do what he did. And honestly, the scene where the other girls, and especially Felice call her out, in very direct and hurtful words, she became relatable to me. I never was in her exact situation, but I was in a situation where I thought I did something the way I was supposed to, and ended up being called a liar and other nasty things. Some context: In sixth grade, I made up a boyfriend, because every girl talked about the boys they liked and I felt like I needed to belong. It seemed like a rule nobody had thought to inform me of, but that everyone else knew. So, I tried following the rule, and I lied up a boyfriend named Tom. Not smart, sure, but I was 12 or 13 and hadn't gotten to a place where I was happy being the weird kid yet. When it came out that I had lied, my classmates called me out in front of everyone and painted me out to be a manipulative liar and a fake friend and I felt terrible. I felt like I had ruined every chance at ever being anybody's friend ever again. And again, that was me at about 13. I had already had two friendships end badly, and some very traumatic experiences before that point. So I came to the conclusion of "if I don't put myself out there nobody can hurt me or use me" very early. Sara, evidently, comes to this conclusion at 18.

I don't want to defend her actions. I just think there might be more to this arc for her than many people seem to see. I have seen posts about Sara being a cunt, a manipulator, a terrible friend, a piece of shit - those are all quotes. I wish I was lying. I think Sara genuinely regrets it - her mistakes, because they were mistakes. She is not some cunning, terrible person, a mastermind trying to ruin her brother's and her friends' lives. She just made a mistake because she believed the wrong person, and she pays the price. She lost her friends, her safety net, her relationship with her brother is ruined. Trust me, that is punishment enough. I have been there.

It's also nice - well, not nice, but realistic - to see how her allistic friends react. They don't believe her, they are confused how she could possibly have been so "stupid" to believe a guy they all thought was so obviously terrible. They also don't try to see it from her point of view. To them, it is a clear-cut case. Because yeah, that is a realistic portrayal of how allistic people often act toward autistic people making a mistake, especially when they themselves don't understand much about autism.

I think that is all I got to say for now, about this. Just one last message, to the allistic Young Royals fans who are currently on Tumblr, Twitter, Tiktok, shaming her character for being so very terrible, I implore you to think. To reseach on autism a bit. To listen to the autistic people in this fandom. And to take a page from the book of autistic people and take her word at face value when she says that she didn't realize August was lying to her, and that she is sorry.

[sergeantbuckybarnes]

begin again // bucky barnes

Summary: When you go to meet your friend at her work you see a cute guy had been stood up, so you're going to be the best date of his life.

Pairing: Chubby!Bucky x Reader (Single Parent AU)

Word count: 1.2k

Warnings: mentions of abandonment

A/N: As always, remember English is not my first language. Also, thanks to @amandalove​ for proofreading this!

main masterlist

When you walked into the diner, you made your way to the counter and sat up on one of your stools. Your friend made her appearance as soon as she saw you.

“Same as always?”

You shook your head. “I’m just passing by, wanted to see you.”

Katie narrowed her eyes. “You know I can see right through you.”

You rolled your eyes and sighed in defeat. “Alright… Just tell me everything.”

Last night she had went on a date with Josh, a guy she had been drooling for months. So obviously after hearing her ramblings about how good he looked, you wanted to know more. “We didn’t do anything.” Katie went right to the topic you were asking about. “I really like him, so I prefer going slowly.”

“And he didn’t try anything?” Your friend shook her head. “Must be a good one then.”

“Just like him,” she pointed with her head to something behind you. You turned your head to see a guy sitting in a booth alone, seemingly waiting for someone.

“It’s the fourth time this month,” Katie informed you. “He keeps trying, though. I think he does more for his daughter than for himself.”

“Who’s he?” you turned to look to your friend.

“Bucky Barnes. He’s a mechanic, works with the Russo Brothers at their workshop.” You had taken your car there a couple of times and you had never seen him. “His wife abandoned him and their daughter when it was a baby.”

“How could she do that?”

Your friend shrugged.

“Her name is Rebecca, she’s five years old.”

“How do you know all of that?”

“People gossip,” she simply said. “They said he hasn’t cared for himself since. That’s why no one wants to date him.”

You narrowed your eyes. People in this town were assholes. You could only see him in profile, but he looked like a handsome guy. Did people say that stuff because of his round belly?

He kept looking at his phone. Maybe checking the hour, maybe if the girl he was waiting for had texted him. “He has been there for an hour and a half. I don’t think she’s gonna show up.”

You got up from your seat and walked towards his table, ignoring your friend asking you what you were doing.

“Hi, I’m Y/N,” you introduced yourself.

The guy looked up to meet with your eyes. “Bucky.”

“Do you mind If I sit down?” you asked, pointing to the empty seat in front of him. He looked at his phone again and sighed. He looked at you and nodded.

“Sorry for disturbing you,” you said once you had sat. “I was just talking with my friend and you caught my eye.” You pointed to Katie who was behind the counter, seeing the scene developing in front of her. Bucky looked at her, that waitress had been there all the times he had been stood up.

“Look, if this is a joke I-” You didn’t let him finish the sentence.

“It’s not a joke,” you defended yourself. “Is it so weird a woman is interested in you?”

“Yeah, it is.”

“Then it’s their loss and a win for me,” you simply said, taking the menu card in your hands. “What do you want? I recommend the chocolate milkshake. It’s delicious.”

Bucky didn’t answer right away, he took a moment to look at you. You seemed like a nice woman, and you were really beautiful too. So he didn’t understand why you came to his booth and showed any interest in him, if it wasn’t for other things than making fun of him for being stood up.

But the look on your face seemed sincere, and his friends had told him he should have more confidence. So he let himself believe that you really liked him and gave you a smile. “Sure.”

A big smile plastered on your face. “Katie,” you called for your friend. “Two chocolate milkshakes.”

“Coming up!” She entered the kitchen to prepare your order.

“So… what are you doing?” he asked, but then he tried to correct himself when he realized that didn’t sound so good. “I- I mean what you work for?”

You laughed. He was really cute when he was nervous. “I work at a bookshop on Franklin Ave.”

“Munchkin Book Store?”

“Yeah, you know it?”

“My daughter loves that store. She never wants to leave.” The look on his face changed when he mentioned his daughter, thinking he had made a mistake. Bringing up that you are a single parent on the first date wasn’t the best idea. Was this even a date?

You sensed the nervousness chewing him. “Really? What books is she into?” His aura changed when you didn’t make an excuse to leave but instead, you seemed interested in his kid and her interests.

“Your chocolate mistakes. Enjoy them,” Katie left the drinks at your table, and made her way to the counter again, not without winking at you. Lucky for you, Bucky didn’t catch it.

Bucky answered you, and the conversation started to flow so easily that you didn’t realize it was time for the diner to close.

“Time to close, lovebirds.”

You looked at Katie and asked her if she wanted you to walk home with her. “Nah, Josh is coming to pick me up.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah, just go and enjoy the rest of the night.”

Bucky fiddled with his fingers and looked at you. “Want me to walk you home?”

You smiled, “Yeah, I’ll love that.”

You said your goodbyes with your friend and walked out of the diner and made your way to your apartment with Bucky by your side. You looked down and decided to intertwine your hand in his. He looked at you shocked and you instantly regretted your actions. “Is it okay?”

“Y-yeah,” he blushed, averting his gaze from you. He felt his cheeks burning up.

You bit your bottom lip repressing a smile at how cute he was.

You kept walking and you wished your apartment wasn’t so close to the diner, because you reached it so soon and you didn’t want this night to end.

“Would you want to go out again?” you asked. “With me?”

“Yes,” he answered instantly, with euphoria in his voice. You laughed. “Sorry.”

“It’s fine,” you reassured. “You’re really cute.”

He blushed again, and averted his gaze from you, the exact same way he did when you held his hands before.

You really wanted to kiss him, and you knew he wasn’t gonna initiate it, so you picked his face gently and made him look at you. You wrapped your arms around him and before he could say anything you stood on your tiptoes and closed the gap between you.

He slowly wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you close to him. His lips were so soft, and you allowed yourself to get lost in the moment. This was Bucky’s first kiss since his ex-wife abandoned him and Rebecca, and he couldn’t help himself to think that now that he had tasted your lips, he was going to need more of them.

“Tomorrow?” he asked when you separated.

“Perfect.” You smiled and walked inside your building. “Good night, Bucky,” you said from your doorstep.

“Good night, Y/N.”

Today started the same way as other days but it turned out really great. You had been in the diner a million times and never thought that place was gonna bring you so much luck. And Bucky was very thankful that his date didn’t show up because thanks to that he had to meet a wonderful woman that he hoped was gonna stay in his life for the long run.

[mercurygguk]

cockblocked. (m) | jjk

➵ summary; in which a pair of best friends are hopelessly in love with one another but they’re both too dumb to realize, even when everyone around them are dropping hints every five minutes. or alternatively; “you’re an idiot for thinking I wouldn’t love you back.”

pairing; jeongguk x f. reader

word count; 15.8k

rating; 18+

content; roommates au + friends (idiots) to lovers, smut/fluff/angst

warnings; mentions of alcohol, swearing, explicit sexual content, dirty talk, cum eating, oral sex (f. receiving), stupid jeongguk and stupid reader

a/n; i’ve been wanting to write a oneshot for so long with the ultimate boyfriend version of gguk, so i started writing with this gguk in mind. i hope you like it! ALSO, this is heavily unedited, so ignore any typos thx – enjoy!

find drabbles related to this fanfic through this tag !! 

Music is blaring through the speakers, shaking your body as you stand against the wall, watching people get shitfaced and stick their tongues down each other’s throats. There’s an untouched drink in your hand. It’s lukewarm by now and definitely tasting way worse than when it was made. You hate yourself for always saying yes to joining your friends at this type of scene. Quite simply, you hate every single thing about parties at frat houses. The music is shit, it’s nothing compared to your own favorite chill playlist filled with ballads and old classics. The alcohol smells and tastes like crap, and it doesn’t get you nearly as drunk as it should. To top it all off, your friends had left you alone for two random guys, so in conclusion, this night could’ve been better but it could’ve been much worse as well you suppose. It’s not like you’ve done anything stupid, so really, what’s the problem?

It’s not even that late when you decide to make your way upstairs. There must be a quieter place in this huge house where you can sit in silence until you deem it acceptable to leave again. But as you push your way past couples practically having sex on the staircase, you realize that all rooms are most likely taken. Maybe you should just leave now? You chuckle at your own situation. You haven’t even been here for two hours and you’re already planning on going home again. You shake your head to yourself as you continue your walk upstairs. It won’t hurt to see if you just happen to be lucky enough to find an empty room in this gigantic house.

The first room you come across seems quiet as you press your ear against the door’s surface. You take the chance and grab the handle before pushing yourself inside. You stop in your tracks when one of the two in there turns to look at you, the other one sitting with their head down a bucket. You grimace as you back out of the room, closing the door behind you. The smell of puke haunts you as you move on to the next door.

“Last room better be empty,” you whisper to yourself after checking almost every single room upstairs. You push yourself inside without a single warning to those who may be on the other side of the door. The scene in front of you doesn’t surprise you at all as you stay in the doorway. The pair stops their actions upon your presence.

“I swear that’s the seventh person to barge in here!” The girl, who was being grinded on by the dude on top of her, whines. The guy turns his head to look at you, a glare evident even though it’s mostly dark in the room. “And suddenly I’m not in the mood anymore,” the girl groans as she pushes Mr. Fuckboy off her, “see you around, Jeon.”

You watch with an amused smirk as the girl yanks her shirt off the ground, slipping it on and pushing past you out of the room, her shoulder bumping against yours. You chuckle to yourself, wondering why some girls just had to be like that. The guy you now know as ‘Jeon’ gets up from the bed, turning to face you fully. He’s not wearing a shirt which allows you to see the sleeve of tattoos on his right arm. His pants are unzipped and his belt is unbuckled, and yet he doesn’t seem fazed at all. You cock a brow at him as he finally notices and reaches down to zip his pants and buckle his belt.

“Thanks for cockblocking me by the way,” ‘Jeon’ shoots at you, making you scoff and cross your arms over your chest.

“Well, it’s not entirely my fault,” you defend yourself, gesturing to the door beside you, “you could’ve just locked the door.”

He chuckles at your defensive tone as he grabs his sweatshirt off the floor. He slips it over his head, messing his black, curly hair up even more than it was before. That girl must’ve had a good grip on it for it to look like such a mess in this very moment.

“Why are you even in here?” Jeon asks, reaching up to run a hand through his hair. It tames it a bit, you think to yourself as you watch it fall back onto his forehead and slightly into his eyes. Not bothering to answer his question, you decide on stepping further into the room, making your way to the balcony that happened to be in this exact room. Jeon watches you as you open the doors and head outside into the chilly night air. He follows behind, joining you on the balcony. Why he does so wonders the both of you. He leans on the railing beside you, looking at the side of your face. “Party not fun enough?”

You chuckle. “Just not my typical scene,” you tell him, glancing at him.

The stranger, who goes by ‘Jeon’ so far, is still looking at you, a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “What is your typical scene then?”

This dude’s sudden interest in you doesn’t go unnoticed by you, so you decide to finally look at him fully instead of the drunk people on the front lawn below you.

“Somewhere quieter, somewhere you’re actually able to talk to people,” you explain to him, “and if there’s food, even better!”

This makes him laugh lightly, a glint in his eyes that makes your stomach tingle in a funny way. “A foodie then?”

You nod, a wide smile on your face. “Huge foodie.”

“What’s your name?” He asks, seeming genuinely interested in knowing it. “I’m Jeongguk.”

“___,” you tell him, “it’s nice to meet you, Jeongguk.”

He grins, a bunny smile appearing and you can’t help but think about how ridiculously cute he actually is. And yet still a fuckboy, without a doubt.

“Nice to meet you too, ___.”

You both watch the drunk people below in silence. You wonder what he’s thinking about. Does he think the same about these people as you or is he usually one of them? Maybe he’s one of those people who attends every single frat party. But he doesn’t seem to be very drunk at the moment. You’re about to ask him when he turns to look at you, eyes slightly wide with a glint in them as if he just thought of something brilliant.

“Wanna go somewhere else?” He suddenly asks. You squint your eyes at him, wondering what place he possibly could be thinking about. “I know this great place that has really good frozen yoghurt.”

You can’t help but let out a laugh, “you want frozen yoghurt at almost 1 am?”

He nods, a boyish smile on his face. “Yeah, why not? This party sucks aaaand you totally cockblocked me, so I see no reason to stay here anymore.”

Rolling your eyes, you chuckle at his attempt to make you feel guilty once again. “I stand my ground,”  you snicker, “you could’ve just locked the door, dumbass.”

Jeongguk shrugs it off, a tiny smirk appearing on his lips. “So, is that a yes?”

You purse your lips, pretending to think about his question when in reality you had made up your mind the second he mentioned frozen yoghurt. Food is never questioned, you always say yes when your friends ask, and now also when Jeongguk asks. You nod, smiling widely.

“Yeah, frozen yoghurt sounds really good, actually.”

Jeongguk grins, grabs your hand before pulling you back inside and out of the room. A mild tingle erupts in your stomach as you look down at how tightly his hand is gripping yours. You shake the thoughts from your head as you follow behind, letting him guide you downstairs to where the party is still ongoing. He pushes his way through the crowd of people, glancing back at you once in a while to make sure you’re still with him. Were you really just about to leave this party, leave your friends behind to get frozen yoghurt with a complete stranger? Guess so. Were you starting to regret saying yes? Surprisingly, no.

As you ride with the bus to the downtown part of the city, you learn a few things about Jeongguk. He tells you that he’s majoring in photography and that his camera is his most prized possession, he tells you about how he’s a huge gym rat and that he’s basically living his life at the gym when he isn’t studying or running around with his camera. You learn that Jeongguk loves food more than anything and that he’s quite a chef himself (but you also learn that he isn’t one to brag, so you basically had to force it out of him). He also tried to assure you that he wasn’t a fuckboy, which you had claimed him to be when you interrupted him in that bedroom. You only laugh it off, patting him on the shoulder as if to tell him it’s okay, that you don’t judge him for whatever sex life he’s living.

You find yourself enjoying his company more than you had expected to, laughing more than you ever would’ve at the frat party. Even at some point throughout the bus ride, your one leg had somehow managed to rest over his thigh, his hand on it as if it’s the most normal position for the two of you. And there’s not a single moment of awkward silence during the entire trip to that frozen yoghurt place which Jeongguk had been gushing about since you got on the bus.

“Why is this place even open so late?” You ask as Jeongguk holds the door open for you. You walk inside the shop, him following right behind. Before Jeongguk can answer your question, you gasp loudly as you take in the size of the place Jeongguk brought you to. He chuckles from beside you, grabbing your hand once again to pull you to the yoghurt machines. Your mouth is agape in amazement as you grab a cup, starting to mix different flavours. “Jeongguk, there’s too many flavours! How am I supposed to make one without having to pay a shit ton of money?”

Jeongguk laughs, eyes scrunching together and pearly white teeth showing. “I guess that means we have to visit again soon?” He says, more like a question than a statement.

You nod excitingly, making him laugh once again.

Jeongguk ends up paying for yours even after you fight him on it, but he didn’t take no for an answer and left you to watch as he paid for both cups of yoghurt, yours ending up more expensive than you had intended.

“Thanks, that was really kind of you,” you softly tell him as he hands you your cup, playfully glaring at him as he does so. “It’s on me next time.”

He shrugs it off, smiling softly. “Don’t worry about it, ___.”

You seat yourselves inside a booth, eating your frozen yoghurt in comfortable silence. Jeongguk finishes it rather quickly causing you to widen your eyes at his empty cup. You’re about to tell him he’ll end up with a brain freeze but the said brain freeze beats you to it. You watch as Jeongguk brings a hand to his forehead, groaning in agony.

“Fuck,” he swears, “wasn’t thinking about this when I shoved that down.”

You laugh, grimacing yourself as he grimaces in pain. After a while, it stops and Jeongguk rubs his forehead with a sigh.

“You good?” You ask as you try to stifle another laugh. He nods, glaring at you and then the empty cup in front of him. Pushing it to the side, you chuckle. “It’s not the yoghurt’s fault, Jeongguk.”

He sighs deeply as he leans back in his seat, watching you as you finish yours. You glance at him occasionally, offering him a small smile once in a while as well. His eyes are captivating in a way, dark brown irises and long lashes. You can’t hold his stare for long without feeling like he’s seeing right through you and reading everything there’s going on inside your head. A tiny crush is starting to develop at the bottom of your stomach, but you try to ignore it, not wanting to go in that direction right now.

“You never told me about yourself,” he then says, catching your attention once again as he leans over the table. You look at him, confused. “It was just me talking about myself on the way here and we never got to talk about you.”

“Oh!” You exclaim, “well, there isn’t much to tell.”

Jeongguk scoffs with a chuckle. “Come on, there has to be something.”

You think for a bit, trying to think about what you can tell him that could possibly be interesting for Jeongguk to hear about. “But what do you wanna know?” You ask him, smiling.

“Mhm,” he hums, “well, first of all, what’s your major?”

“English,” you answer.

He nods at that. “Favorite color?”

“Yellow.”

“Favorite animal?”

Without thinking, you smile and answer: “Bunnies.” 

You swear you see Jeongguk’s cheeks redden as the word leaves your mouth. You smile to yourself, resting your chin in your palm as you watch him, his cheeks flushed. He rubs his chin, searching for another question. 

“Ah! Celebrity crush?”

“Gong Yoo,” you sigh, dreamy gaze with what you’d call a real-life ‘heart eyes’ emoji expression on your face. Across from you, Jeongguk is pretending to gag. You swat at him, giggling lightly. “Shut up! You’re just jealous.”

“Never,” he retorted quickly, making you smirk slightly. “Okay, last question.”

You wait, anticipating something but not sure what exactly.

“Can I have your number?”

There’s nothing to do to stop the blush that colors your cheeks as you nod, smiling at him for being so damn smooth. He hands you his phone with a small smile, you type his phone number in and hand him his phone back. Jeongguk laughs as he notices how you put your name in his phone; ‘cockblocker <3′

“I’m glad we did this,” he suddenly says, his expression a serious but soft one. You nod in agreement.

“Me too,” you tell him, meaning it. This night turned out way better than you had expected, and it was all because you happened to cockblock Jeon Jeongguk.

You run around your dorm room with a towel wrapped around your body, wet hair all over the place as you try to figure out where you left your phone. Your phone is currently ringing and you know without a doubt who it is, but you can’t answer him because you might have lost it in the pile of clothes on your bed and floor.

“Shit, shit, shit, shit,” you hiss to yourself repeatedly as you rummage through the clothes, the ringing of your phone becoming more persistent if that’s even possible. Then it stops ringing before you have the chance to locate it. You continue to look as you sigh, knowing it will most likely ring again in a few seconds. But it doesn’t. Instead there’s a knock on your door. You glance down at your body. 

“Great, still naked,” you groan to yourself and move to the door, opening it and revealing your curly-haired best friend (who may you mention looks exceptionally good in his ripped blue jeans, black hoodie and white sneakers). He marches into your room before you even get to greet him. You close the door after him before turning to look at him. You grip the towel tightly, terrified it will fall if you let go. And cause a very awkward situation for you and Jeongguk.

“What’s taking you so long? We have to-” Jeongguk stops as he turns to face you, just now realising you’re only wrapped in a towel and not fully dressed at all. “Oh.”

Your lips turn into a straight line, nodding. “Yep.”

His cheeks turn a slight red color as he quickly turns back around, his back to you. “Sorry,” he then says. You laugh at his embarrassment, clearly not as fazed about this as him. And he’s supposed to be the girl magnet, you think to yourself.

“Calm down, Gguk. I decided to let you in even though I’m basically naked, so really, don’t worry about it.”

He glances at you over his shoulder, not even slightly discreet about the way he looks you up and down. You feel your cheeks slightly heat up, noticing the way his eyes linger on your hand which is still clutching the towel tightly. It has been almost 9 months since you met Jeongguk at the frat party and there has been a slight tension of something you can’t quite decipher ever since. There have been more than several moments like these where Jeongguk is staring at you a bit too long or his touch lingers on you for a while longer than they probably were supposed to. You always shrug it off, not thinking too much of it because it’s probably all in your head anyway.

Jeongguk sits himself down on your bed, gesturing to the bathroom. “Well, get dressed already. Jimin’s performance is in like 30 minutes.”

“Right!” You shriek, now remembering what the purpose of your shower was. 

Jimin is Jeongguk’s best friend from high school and is a year ahead of you and Jeongguk at the same college. Jimin is a dance major, doing all kinds of dances varying from hiphop to contemporary and so on. He’s truly talented and even more of a sweetheart. You met him one night a few months back when you joined Jeongguk and his group of friends at a karaoke bar. You hit it off with Jimin in particular that night, and your friendship has only been getting better ever since.

Jeongguk watches with a lopsided smile as you scurry back to the bathroom to dry your hair. You haven’t even decided on an outfit yet. “What do I even wear?”

On your bed, Jeongguk is looking through your clothes. He holds up a red skirt without thinking, just simply liking the color of it.. “What about this?” He calls out to you, having no idea at all what you could possibly wear to go see a dance performance. You open the bathroom door slightly to look at him and the piece of clothing in his hand.

“A flaming red miniskirt?” You question, raising a single eyebrow at him. He catches your tone and drops it to the floor, looking for something else.

He tries again as he holds up a pair of light denim jeans with a cute, hesitating smile on his face. “Jeans?”

You grin, nodding, “much better.”

The place is crowded once you and Jeongguk arrive at the theatre where Jimin is going to perform. You look around, trying to see if you can spot Jimin. You want to wish him good luck before he gets on stage. Just as you locate him, he looks up and locks eyes with you. You wave excitingly, grabbing Jeongguk’s arm and pulling him towards his own best friend. Jeongguk lets you drag him along with a small smile on his lips.

“Hey, you guys made it!” Jimin beamed, hugging you tightly. You smile as Jimin gives you a light squeeze before pulling away.

Jeongguk grins at his best friend. “We wouldn’t miss it, hyung.”

Jimin pats Jeongguk on the shoulder in an appreciative manner. “Well, take a seat. The show is starting in 15 minutes or so,” he gestures to the seats, “I have to get backstage before the stylists have my ass for not being ready on time.”

You chuckle, not surprised that Jimin is one to always struggle with being on time. It has happened once or twice before.

“Good luck!” You make sure to tell him. Beside you, Jeongguk offers his hyung an encouraging smile and a thumbs up. Jimin gives your hand a squeeze before heading off to backstage. You both watch him run off, the stylist already smacking his arm as she tells him to sit down. You glance at Jeongguk who’s already laughing because of his best friend. “Where do you wanna sit?” You ask him.

He shrugs, “you decide, I’m happy anywhere.” You nod and purse your lips, looking over the theatre.

“Let’s just sit here,” you point to the seats right beside you. Jeongguk agrees, his hand coming up to rest against the small of your back as to tell you to sit first. Your skin tingles underneath your shirt at his touch, his hand strong but soft on you and lingering a tad bit longer than necessary. You sit down, Jeongguk plopping down beside you. His hand is resting on the armrest between the two of you and it takes all in you to not let your own rest on top of his.

To say your crush on Jeongguk had become less and less the past 9 months would be a total lie. If anything, it has only become worse and yet you can’t get yourself to tell him because you’re sure he doesn’t feel the same way. He’s still the ‘Jeon’ you met at the party almost a year ago, his fuckboy tendencies coming through once in a while and you’ve seen girls leave his room in the morning when you’d arrive at his place to hang out. And it hurt slightly every single time but you’ve never considered telling him why it hurts. He doesn’t even know it hurts you. But then again, here he is on a Saturday night, spending his evening with you to watch Jimin’s dance performance when in reality, he has seen Jimin perform multiple times. More times than he can count and it’s nothing new to him. He could be balls deep in some random girl right now and yet he’s here. With you. And his leg is brushing against yours, his shoulder is also touching you. It would be so easy to just tangle your fingers through his but your insecurities and doubt stop you from doing anymore. You sigh deeply, leaning back in your seat.

Jeongguk notices the heavy sigh you let out, looking at you with slight worry in his eyes. “Everything okay?”

You nod, offering him a soft smile. “Yeah, just a bit tired,” you answer him, a small yawn escaping your lips. It was partly true. You can tell he doesn’t quite believe you but decides against it, not wanting to push you into telling him.

Jimin’s performance starts right then. The lights dimmed down as he appears on stage along with a group of other people, his dance team that consists of other guys. Some of them are also Jeongguk’s friends; Taehyung and Hoseok. You watch with wide, exciting eyes, feeling very proud of Jimin for finally doing this performance when you know how much he has been working on it and how time consuming it has been for him. What you don’t notice throughout the entire performance is that Jeongguk is occasionally watching you instead of the performance, his heart beating just a tad bit faster whenever you almost catch him.

When Jimin finishes and bows to the crowd, you stand up for an applause, smiling widely as he thanks everyone by bowing one more time and then heading off stage.

Jeongguk taps your shoulder, motioning his head as if to tell you to leave. “Let’s go find him,” he says over the music that’s still playing. You nod, grabbing your things and following right behind. You squeal, happy and excited as you spot Jimin by the stage. He turns around just as you reach him, engulfing him in a tight hug. Jeongguk stands by behind you, watching you hug the living shit out of his best friend. It doesn’t feel right, he thinks to himself.

“You were amazing!” You cheered, squeezing him tightly as he did to you earlier. He laughs at your gushing excitement as you pull apart, thanking you and flashing you that charming smile of his.

Jimin glances at Jeongguk, smiling lips falling into a straight line. You don’t notice but Jeongguk is glaring at Jimin and Jimin knows exactly why. He scratches the back of his head, glancing back at his team before looking back at you and Jeongguk.

“We, um, we’re headed to a bar downtown. You guys wanna join?”

You look at Jeongguk briefly before smiling at Jimin, nodding, “sure.”

“Great! We’re leaving in a few, I just need to pack up my stuff,” Jimin grins and heads over to his team. You spot two people that you know — Hoseok and Taehyung. Taehyung caught your eye a lot during the performance, his mop of curly black hair stood out a lot and the way he was so into the performance and the mood of the songs. Truly mesmerising. 

Jeongguk clears his throat beside you, letting you know that he’s still right beside you. Your cheeks heat up at the possible chance of being caught ogling a bit too long at Taehyung. 

“Let’s go,” you pipe up, leaving Jeongguk’s side to go find Jimin again. The tension that’s starting to form is too intense for you right now. You feel Jeongguk’s eyes on you as you walk away and up to Jimin. Jeongguk’s heart drops a little when he can tell that you decide to walk with Jimin all the way to the bar downtown. He doesn’t get to stand there and grumble too long because Hoseok and Taehyung are quick to pull him along, dragging him in the same direction you and Jimin left in.

Your laughter sounds like a sweet melody to Jeongguk as he watches you from his seat at the bar, laughing at something Taehyung says to you. You’ve been sitting beside Taehyung for the past two hours, laughing and having a good time which is great but Jeongguk doesn’t like how close to you Taehyung is sitting and he certainly doesn’t like the way you have to touch Taehyung’s arm every time you laugh at something he says. Jeongguk takes a swig of his beer as Jimin plops down on the seat beside him. Jimin follows his line of sight, sighing deeply once he realizes what has caused him to become so quiet. 

“Dude, you’re gonna burn holes in their skulls if you keep staring like that,” Jimin calls out, snapping Jeongguk out of his own thoughts.

Jeongguk sighs, taking his eyes off you and Taehyung. “Yeah,” he trails off.

Eyeing him carefully, Jimin places a hand on his shoulder. “If it’s that bad, why don’t you just go talk to her?” He suggests, the tone sounding hesitant.

Jeongguk glances at Jimin. “You know I can’t do that,” he grumbles, turning his back to you and Taehyung, facing the bar instead. 

Jimin nods as he remembers why. “Sure, but can you explain it to me again? I still don’t see the point.”

Rolling his eyes, Jeongguk runs a hand through his hair only for it to fall back into his eyes. He really needed a haircut soon, he thinks to himself.

“I can’t tell her how I feel because that’d ruin our friendship and I’d rather have her be my friend than nothing at all,” he explains to Jimin as if it’s obvious. And it was true. Jeongguk’s straight up terrified that you’ll find out how he really feels about you and then proceed to end your friendship. It’s a risk he isn’t willing to take, maybe someday but just not yet.

Jimin hums to himself. “What if she feels the same then?” Jeongguk stays silent. “Ever thought about that possibility?”

Shaking his head, he sighs, almost sounding like he has given up on you already. “Listen, I just know that she doesn’t. She wouldn’t be over there with Tae right now if that was the case- Ow! What the hell was that for?”

He rubs the back of his head, pouting lightly at his best friend. Jimin shakes his head. “You’re dumber than I thought,” he concludes before getting up from his seat and heading back to the table where the rest of his dance team is sitting. 

Jeongguk slumps in his seat, dropping his head into his hand. Jimin is right; he really is dumb. But as he glances back at you and sees the wide smile on your face, the same smile he can get out of you with his stupid jokes and goofy faces, he just knows that he wouldn’t be able to live without you even if it meant he got to tell you how he really feels. Jeongguk turns his back to the scene that is you and Taehyung again, finishing his bottle of beer before ordering a new one.

It isn’t even him who walks you home to your dorm that night. Taehyung gets the chance and swoops right in, offering to walk you home. You let him without hesitation and Jeongguk can only stand back, watching you walk off with Taehyung by your side. And it doesn’t go unnoticed, neither by him or Jimin, that you also forgot to hug your best friend goodnight. Jimin offers Jeongguk an apologetic smile, patting his shoulder and wishing him a good night before heading home with Hoseok, who’s also his roommate besides being his teammate.

Jeongguk is pretty sure everyone who passes by him on his way home can hear the sound of his heart breaking a bit more for every step he takes. But what does it matter? You don’t want this broken heart anyway.

“I’m thinking about moving out of the frat house.”

Your eyes widen in surprise and you choke on the coffee Jeongguk had just served you, coughing lightly and holding a “one second” hand up to Jeongguk who looks at you worried. Once your coughing dies down, you look at him, still surprised.

“You what?”

Jeongguk chuckles in his seat across from you. “I don’t feel like staying at the frat house anymore,” he shrugs, “I earn enough from working here to find my own place.”

Jeongguk’s little part time job at the campus café actually does pay him a good amount of money, but you wouldn’t expect anything else since he’s here more than he’s in class. The hours he dedicates to this place also gives him the right to chill in a booth with you during his shift because the owner of the shop gives him that much freedom. He has her hooked around his little finger and she doesn’t even know it. You smile at the thought, knowing very well that every single woman — old and young — would let Jungkook do whatever he wants after being flashed that charming smile of his. You guess that’s just the way his charms work.

“What’s on your mind?” Jeongguk asks, tapping your forehead to get you back to earth.

Your cheeks turn pink, “sorry.”

Jeongguk smiles at you, eyes glinting like they always do behind that long hair. “Actually, I already found a place I would like to rent, it’s not far from campus and it’s the perfect size even though it’s a 3-bedroom apartment,” he tells you. You smile, happy for him.

“That’s great, Gguk!” You beamed. “I’m happy for you.”

He did say 3-bedroom apartment though. Does that mean he’ll get himself a roommate? Your head fills with possible options for a roommate for him. Jimin could be a good one, but he already lives off campus with Hoseok. Taehyung lives by himself in a studio apartment, so that wasn’t an option either. He could ask that other guy he sometimes hangs out with, that one from his photography class and his frat house too. Namjoon, was it? You purse your lips, several faces showing up in your mind. Jeongguk clears his throat across from you, bringing you back once again.

“You’re zoning out a lot today,” he states, concern covering his face. You chuckle. 

“I was just thinking about who you could ask to be your roommate,” you tell him and Jeongguk opens his mouth to speak up but you continue, “most of your friends already live off campus but you could ask that Namjoon fella, he still lives in the frat house, right?”

Jeongguk nods.

“He seems like a nice guy,” you ponder, finger tapping your chin. “You could just find some stranger too, but that’s quite a risk, isn’t it? Personally, I would prefer someone I know already, but you do you.”

You hear him sigh in defeat as you ramble on. “Or what about-”

Jeongguk cuts you off. “I already know who I’m gonna ask,” he blurts.

“Oh.” You fall silent. 

“Yeah,” Jeongguk says, “she’s rambling her ass off right now and she does that a lot to be honest, so I don’t know if I still wanna ask her.”

Your cheeks are burning as Jeongguk smirks at you, knowing very well that you’re aware he’s talking about you. Composing yourself, you sit upright in your seat. “Well, what if she doesn’t wanna move out of her dorm?”

Jeongguk chuckles sarcastically. “Oh, but she does,” he snickered, “with the amount of times she has complained about the shitty shower in her room, I’m convinced she’s just waiting for the opportunity to get out of there.” 

“Am not!” You defend yourself even though you know he’s right. 

Jeongguk laughs. “Shut up.”

You cross your arms over your chest, pretending to be offended but you can’t hold the act for long as you burst into laughter. “Okay, you’re right. I really do hate that shower.”

“Thought so,” Jeongguk smirks lightly. He stands from his seat, knowing he has to get back to work before the customers think he’s some lazy barista. He offers you another one of those charming smiles of his. “You’re my best friend, ___. I can’t imagine anyone else in that room other than you. So just think about it, yeah?”

You nod, smiling. You watch him walk off, heading for the cashier. He moves around the counter, patting the other cute barista boy (he’s a sophomore and he basically idolizes Jeongguk) on the shoulder as he passes by him and continues out to the back of the café. You turn back to your laptop and books, smiling to yourself as you take another sip of your coffee, made (with a tiny amount of love, but you don’t know that) by Jeongguk.

You don’t get too much time to yourself and your assignment before a certain dancer slips into the seat Jeongguk was in previously. You glance up at Jimin, who’s smiling slyly at you. You give him a confused but curious look, closing your laptop screen. “What?”

He nods his head in Jeongguk’s direction. “Did he ask you?”

“Asked me what?”

Jimin rolls his eyes. “Don’t play dumb, you know what I’m talking about.”

You shrug. “He did,” you squint at him as he cheers, clapping his hands.

“Well,” he gushes, “did you say yes?” His excitement is bouncing off the walls as he leans over the table. You’re close to getting a whiplash from his quickly changing expression as you watch his face fall not even two seconds later. “Did you say no? Why?”

You shake your head, not able to keep up with him. “Calm down, will you? I didn’t even get to answer you.”

Jimin breathes out and slumps back in his seat. “Sorry,” he pouts but grins nevertheless, “I’m just excited.”

“You don’t say,” you mumble under your breath. “I didn’t give him an answer yet, he told me to think about it.”

Across from you, Jimin smiles at you - his smile hinting at something. You let out a small groan. “Jimin! I know what you’re thinking and no, I’m not gonna do it.”

“What?” Jimin exclaims, hands up in surrender. “You don’t even know what I was gonna say.”

Now it’s your time to roll your eyes because yes, you do in fact know what he’s about to say. Jimin has been pestering you ever since he met you about the fact that you’re ‘pining’ after Jeongguk, your feelings on your sleeve and obvious to anyone around you, except for Jeongguk. The fact that you haven’t even told Jimin how you feel about Jeongguk just shows how well Jimin reads people and apparently you’re like an open book, especially to Jimin. Not to certain others.

“Have you ever thought about the possibility that he might like you too?” Jimin questions you, the same question he asked Jeongguk at the bar the other night. You nod your head at this, sighing deeply in exasperation.

“I have, Jimin, I really have,” you mumble, “but it’s obvious he doesn’t feel the same way. I can just tell that I’m nothing but a good friend to him.”

Jimin might scream at the both of you very soon. How blind and stupid can people actually be?

“If you say so,” he backtracks. You lean back in your seat, pen coming up to lay between your teeth. You bite on it as you stare at nothing in particular, Jeongguk is filling up your brain like he lives there rent free. “Look, ___,” Jimin catches your attention again, “accept his offer, maybe you’ll be surprised.”

He gives you a friendly, comforting smile and a squeeze of your hand before he gets up. He waves at Jeongguk who stands behind the counter again before leaving the café. His words linger around you. “Maybe you’ll be surprised.” Jimin had said and you wonder why he would say that. You know Jeongguk quite well even after less than a year as friends; what could possibly surprise you at this point?

Maybe it wouldn’t be that bad to live in the same place as Jeongguk. This thought has appeared in your head for the past hours since you left the café. Now you’re sitting here, in your bed with a Netflix show, which you’re not paying attention to, running through several episodes. Jeongguk’s proposition has been raking up your mind since he left you to yourself at the café. It’s like he knew you would have to think about it when he told you to do exactly that.

And as you sit here, thoughts running at full speed, you try to come up with pros and cons for living under the same roof as your bff #1. Pros are that you get a nice shower every time you have to bath, you will live off Jeongguk’s delicious gastronomic talent and you’ll have your best friend close to you at all times. Cons would be the possibility of getting tired of each other even though you already spend five out of seven days together during the week. Another con would be witnessing girls leave his room and your apartment in the morning after having heard her scream his name all night. That specific thought makes a weird, not-so-great feeling appear in your stomach, making you frown deeply. But you will have to realize sooner or later that Jeongguk won’t ever see you that way and that this crush of yours is a lost cause. Maybe it really is time to just get over it. You sigh deeply, grabbing your phone off the nightstand to send Jeongguk a text.

you [11:38 pm]: i’ll do it, but you gotta make me delicious food every day

You wait for his reply, staring at your screen. Heart hammers wildly as three dots appear on the screen. Your breath hitches in your throat as you read his reply.

gguk [11:40 pm]: anything for you princess ;)

Jeongguk has never in these months of you knowing him, called you a nickname like that. And the way your cheeks blush as you imagine him saying it, tells on you. You love it.

Jeongguk groans as he puts down your last box on the floor of your new bedroom. It’s a box with all your English books and there’s a lot. “Have you even read all of these?”

You stop in your little project of hanging up all your precious polaroid pictures, turning to look at him. You scoff, lying as you say: “yes, of course.”

He smirks lightly, giving you a look that says ‘nice try’. You laugh to yourself, turning back around to your polaroids. 

Jeongguk plops down on your bed, head laying on his hands as he brings them up behind his head. Today is a day for the books, you thought to yourself when he first arrived along with Jimin to get all your boxes and shove them into Jimin’s tiny car. He’s wearing blue jeans again, which you absolutely love on him, and he has styled them simply with a black t-shirt, showing off his tattooed right arm. You’ve been staring at him quite a few times since you arrived at the apartment you and Jeongguk have rented together. And it wasn’t helping how his arms kept flexing as he carried your boxes with all your shit up to your new bedroom.

He watches you in silence as you hang up the polaroids, standing with one in particular a bit longer. You smile as you reach down, showing it to him. “It’s us,” you smile softly.

Jeongguk takes the polaroid from your fingers, holding it closer to his face to see it better. It’s a polaroid photo taken at the Han River from that one night where you went out to eat dinner with his friends and some of your girlfriends. You had brought your polaroid camera along, hoping to catch some memories with it tonight. Jeongguk had noticed it that evening, grabbing it from your purse and snapping a ‘selfie’ of the two of you.

He smiles at the photo, remembering that evening as clear as if it was yesterday. That evening was one of the first times Jeongguk realized that he was indeed absolutely smitten by you and that you had him wrapped around your finger. You just didn’t know and you still don’t. “That was a great night,” he reminisces, handing you the photo back. You hang it up on the wall, right in the middle of all the others.

“Yeah,” you sigh deeply, “it was.”

Jeongguk claps his hands on his thighs as he sits up on the edge of your bed. You plop down beside him. “Pizza for dinner?” He suggests.

You nod frantically, “yes, please.”

And that’s how you and Jeongguk end up on the couch, watching that stupid movie with Gong Yoo. You’re completely sucked into that movie, mouth open in awe as you watch Gong Yoo unfolding his charms on the tv-screen. “Wow,” you breathe out as he kisses the main female character. Jeongguk scoffs from beside you, rolling his eyes before dropping his head backwards. The ceiling is more interesting than that ridiculous movie.

“Why is everyone so obsessed with this guy?” he asks, looking back at the screen again.

You shoot him a glare. “Are you sure you're not jealous?”

Jeongguk gasps dramatically, pretending to be offended by your words as he places a hand over his heart. “Am not!”

“Am too!” You laugh, scooting closer to him on the couch. “Admit it, you don’t like Gong Yoo because he’s getting a lot more attention than you.”

Scoffing again, Jeongguk knows that’s a lie and suddenly feeling like he needs to prove a point. He has girls waiting for him, not that you don’t know that. He smirks at you and says: “You know that’s a big fat lie, ___.”

You cock a brow at him. “You’re so full of yourself,” you scoff and get off the couch, taking the pizza boxes with you to clean up, “and you’re jealous, it’s obvious.”

Jeongguk scoffs right back at you as he gets up to follow you into the kitchen. “I am not jealous of some actor,” he states, “I have no reason to be.” You sigh to yourself, your back facing him as he leans in the doorway to the kitchen. You know very well that he has no reason to be jealous of some actor and you certainly don’t need him to remind you. He watches you clean up with a frown. “___.”

“What, Gguk?” You laugh humorlessly, turning to face him. “I get it, you’re hot and a woman magnet and so on, you don’t have to explain it to me.”

He smirks lightly, pushing himself off the wall and stepping closer to you. “Who’s the jealous one now?” He chuckled, arms crossed over his chest as he towers over you. You groan and push at him, making him take a step back from you.

“You’re so annoying,” you grumbled, moving around him and out of the kitchen. Jeongguk watches you walk away towards your bedroom. “Goodnight, roomie,” you call out, waving a hand over your head without glancing back at him. There was a tone of sarcasm in your voice. The door to your bedroom being closed as Jeongguk sighs to himself, wandering his way to his own bedroom. As soon as his head hits the pillow, he’s asleep. The day must’ve been more tiring than he had thought. A nice memory of him and a pretty girl at the Han River fills up his mind as he dozes off into the night.

The next morning you’re sitting at the dining table, laptop and books out. Your reading glasses are resting on the bridge of your nose and your hair is in a messy bun, making you look relaxed as you study for whatever class you have coming up. Jeongguk strolls out of his bedroom, no shirt… only a pair of grey sweatpants. You glance at him as he passes by you, heading directly for the fridge. You can hear him rustle around for a bowl and a spoon. A minute later he joins you at the dining table, a bowl of fruit loops in front of him.

“Morning,” he says softly, voice still hoarse from waking up. Your stomach tingles at the sound and you mentally slap yourself for being such a wimp for him. You don’t give him a response, continuing to read in your book and type away on your laptop. You can feel him glancing at you occasionally as he eats his cereal. Jeongguk pouts lightly, sighing deeply as you don’t pay him any attention. This is not how he expected the first morning in the apartment to be like. He grumbles to himself for a bit, contemplating on what to say to fill out the silence that has overcome the two of you. An idea pops into his head. 

“Hey, I was thinking,” he starts, making you look at him briefly. You focus back on your laptop. Jeongguk falls silent.

“I’m listening,” you tell him, voice soft. “I just gotta finish this, but I’m listening.”

Jeongguk nods, hands fumbling. Why was he suddenly so nervous around you? There is absolutely no reason to be. Was it the tone from last time in which you had told him goodnight and then left him to himself that had him so on edge? He can’t really tell.

“I was thinking that we could have a small get-together with our friends, like a moving-in party?” He suggests. This idea actually sounds interesting, you think to yourself as you look back at him. Jeongguk smiles softly, continuing: “We can just invite the guys I usually hang with and then you can invite Lisa and Jisoo?”

You nod, smiling. “That does sound fun,” you agree on his idea, “let’s do it.”

A grin appears on Jeongguk’s lips. “Tonight? If people are able to make it with such short notice?”

Again, you nod. “I’m sure they don’t have more important stuff to attend on this Saturday evening,” you chuckle, knowing your friends and the fact that they rarely have much to do except for school, work and hanging out with each other. Same goes for Jeongguk’s friends. 

“You’re right,” Jeongguk laughs, feeling more at ease now that you’ve joked around with him a bit instead of just sitting there in silence and not really noticing him. It feels better when you laugh, joke around and talk like you usually do without the annoyed and slightly jealous tone. “I’ll text around, asking them to come over tonight.”

You nod lightly, watching him get up from his seat and bringing his cereal bowl to the kitchen. “Remember to tell them to bring their own alcohol! We have nothing in this house yet,” you call out, chuckling slightly. You really didn’t. You almost didn’t have any food either. Maybe today calls for a shopping trip to the supermarket. You turn back to your laptop, eager to finish the assignment and then getting to the supermarket to buy snacks and some food for your empty kitchen cupboards. Maybe Jeongguk can join you on the trip there.

“You think this is enough?” Jeongguk wonders out loud as he places the bowls of snacks down on the coffee table. You join him a few seconds later, a bunch of glasses in your arms for the beverage. Jeongguk notices you joggling all those glasses, rushing to your side with wide eyes to take some from you.

“Thanks,” you softly say, letting him take most of the glasses and placing them down on the table as well. He smiles sweetly in return. “I think it’s enough, we have a few extra chips bags in the cupboard.”

“Perfect,” Jeongguk grins, clapping his hands and rubbing them together in excitement. “This is gonna be fun, I didn’t expect everyone to say yes but they’re literally all coming here in like ten minutes.”

You chuckle softly, making Jeongguk’s stomach do small backflips. He ignores them as he plops down on the couch. “I’m excited,” you sigh, plopping down beside him.

Jeongguk nods, smiling still. “Me too,” he murmurs.

You and Jeongguk fall into small-talk as you wait for your guests to arrive. A bit more than ten minutes pass and the first guest knocks on the door. Jeongguk gets up to let them in, not getting to say much before he’s engulfed in a tight hug by Hoseok. “Hey man,” Hoseok grins, squeezing Jeongguk tightly. He pats him on the back before letting go and walking further inside. Jimin and Taehyung follow right behind, both giving Jeongguk one of those guy hugs.

You lock eyes with Taehyung, his eyes lighting up at the sight of you. He lets go of Jeongguk to make his way to you, smiling widely. He looks really good, you think to yourself as he stops in front of you. His dark hair was curlier and more unruly than the last time you saw him which was only a few days ago. His smile was wide and bright as always, and his eyes a warm, dark brown. “Hey,” he greets you, smiling.

“Hi,” you reply, leaning closer to give him a hug. Jeongguk is closing the door behind Jimin as he glances your way and notices how Taehyung is already at your side, hugging you. He feels himself become slightly frustrated but Jimin is quick to push a hand against his chest, stopping him from walking over to you and make himself look stupid.

“Don’t,” he shakes his head at Jeongguk, eyeing him down until Jeongguk looks slightly less like he could punch Taehyung in the face right now. His jealousy is starting to get the best of him. He watches you, noticing how you smile that specific smile whenever you get flustered or complimented. Jimin glances in the direction of you and Taehyung, sighing as he looks back at Jeongguk. “You don’t get to be like this, Gguk. Not when you haven’t done anything to get her yourself.”

Jeongguk breathes out deeply, taking his eyes away from the relationship that’s starting to unfold in front of his eyes. Jimin is right, once again. He has no right to get all worked up and angry at the thought of you with Taehyung. At least Taehyung has the balls to actually flirt with you. Jeongguk feels like it backfires every time he tries to. Maybe it just isn’t meant to be you and him. With one glance at you and Taehyung, he joins Jimin in the kitchen to get himself a beer.

The night goes on, the rest of your friends arriving not long after Taehyung, Hoseok and Jimin. Lisa and Jisoo sit with you at the dining table, having fun as all of you laugh loudly at whatever you’re talking about. Jeongguk has been watching you tonight more than he’d like to admit, almost being caught a few times. But he was quick enough to look away before you could lock eyes with him. He hasn’t spoken much to you since your friends had arrived which made his heart fall a bit further into his stomach. 

You glance in his direction, smiling softly. Jeongguk smiles back at you, deciding to get up and talk to you for the first time in hours. Grabbing his beer off the table, he’s about to get up and make his way to you, but he quickly stops in his tracks. Taehyung appears out of nowhere, standing close to you. His hands are resting on your shoulders as you look up at him. He smiles and says something Jeongguk can’t make out. You get up from your seat, letting Taehyung take your hand in his and guide you to the small balcony that is in you and Jeongguk’s apartment. 

Jeongguk doesn’t notice Lisa and Jisoo looking at him, sad smiles on their faces as his face drops and he heads for the kitchen instead, walking past them. You nor Jeongguk knows that the two girls are secretly rooting for the two of you to finally get out of your heads and actually date. It has been too long of this pining after one another, but you’re both in denial no matter how much either Lisa, Jisoo, Jimin or whoever it is, tells you to confess to each other. Lisa gets up from her seat, letting Jisoo know she’ll be right back. 

Lisa sighs deeply at the sight when she enters the kitchen. Jeongguk is hunched over the kitchen counter, head in his hands. She walks up to him, leaning against the counter beside him. Jeongguk senses her presence, grumbling lightly. “What?”

She scoffs, throwing a slap to his back causing him to stand up and face her. He glares at her, but he doesn’t say anything as he leans back against the counter, arms crossed over his chest. He’s frowning deeply, looking at the floor. “What’s going on with you?” Lisa asks, even though she knows what’s up. Jeongguk glances quickly at her before diverting his gaze back to the floor.

“Nothing,” he shrugs.

Lisa scoffs again, not believing any of his bullshit. “Bullshit, Jeon. I know this is about ___.”

He can’t help but roll his eyes at the mention of your name. He’s about to have had enough of talking about you and his feelings for you. Jeongguk is quite literally wearing his heart on his sleeve for everyone to see and yet you’re the only one who doesn’t notice. “I just needed a moment to myself,” he mumbles, sighing deeply before taking a swig of his 4th or 5th beer of tonight.

Lisa nods, “I get that. I mean, she did go with Tae just as you were about to approach her.”

“Yup,” Jeongguk pops the ‘p’, another sip of his beer down his throat. “She’s with Tae, probably already head over heels for him.”

The annoyance in his tone and the slight disgust makes Lisa sigh. “Listen, Jeongguk, you’re doing nothing. You walk around, hang out with her and now you live with her and she still doesn’t know. ___ is blind as hell and she won’t know about your feelings if you don’t acknowledge them yourself.”

“I know,” Jeongguk groans, “but I just don’t- I don’t think she’ll ever see me like I see her.”

Lisa pats his shoulder, giving him a smile that probably is supposed to comfort him but it only makes him feel like she’s pitying him. “Just think about telling her how you feel instead of getting hurt every time someone else does what you could be doing.”

And with that, she leaves him alone in the kitchen again. Staying in his place for a few minutes, he contemplates going out to the balcony and demanding to talk to you, even if it means he has to interrupt your conversation with Taehyung. He empties his beer, leaving it behind as he makes his way to the balcony. He opens the door slightly, slipping outside to see you there with your hand in Taehyung’s. His face drops a little along with his heart. He covers it well with a small smile, his heart hammering hard inside his chest still.

“Hey Tae,” he says, “can I steal ___ for a bit?”

Taehyung nods at his younger friend, looking back at you. “So Friday then?” Taehyung smiles at you.

Friday? What happens Friday?

Jeongguk looks at you, awaiting your answer like Taehyung. “Yep,” you nod, smiling softly back at the curly-haired man in front of you.

“Awesome, it’s a date then,” he grins and lets go of your hand, heading back inside. Jeongguk moves to the side, letting Taehyung through the door. You glance at your roommate slash best friend, watching him as he moves closer. Silence overcomes you for the second time today and Jeongguk finds it unbearable. There’s usually never silence between you or around you, only when you have study dates and even then you always end up chatting instead of actually studying. 

Jeongguk clears his throat to break the silence. “So a date, huh?”

You look at him, a small hesitant smile on your lips but it looks closer to being a frown than an actual smile. “Yeah,” you trail off, finger fumbling as you lean over the balcony fence. Jeongguk’s hands are in his pockets but he feels them itching, dying to grab your fumbling ones.

“He’s a great guy,” Jeongguk suddenly blurts. You look at him confused. “Taehyung, I mean.”

You nod slowly, wondering where this conversation is going.

“But he loves girls, ___,” he rambles on, “you know, like, he has a hard time focusing on just one.”

Your face becomes hard, slightly offended on Taehyung’s behalf as the words leave Jeongguk’s mouth. “Oh, so he’s like you?”

Jeongguk falls silent at your words and it feels like a low blow. He sighs and frowns, looking away from you, staring at the almost empty street below. You can’t help but feel slightly guilty from saying that but it’s not a lie. Jeongguk has a booty call or two during the week, always having someone to contact whenever he needs his dick wet. But you still feel bad for firing off such a harsh comment.

“I’m sorry,” you murmur, softly touching his bicep before heading back inside, leaving Jeongguk alone on the balcony.

You’re right, he thinks, but it’s only you who actually matters to him.

Two months have passed since your moving-in party, and things have been a bit tense around the apartment ever since. Taehyung has visited the apartment more often than any of your shared friends, but not for Jeongguk’s company. No, yours. And even though Jeongguk really has no say in your relationship with Taehyung, he still can’t help himself as he finds it ridiculous. He can tell you’re not as much in it as Taehyung is and it’s quite painful to watch. Why you’re not as into it as him is still a mystery to Jeongguk.

Today is no different as Jeongguk sits on the couch, watching his favorite cartoon when the doorbell rings. He groans lowly as he gets up from the couch to open the door. Taehyung appears in front of him, his big and unruly curly hair taking all the attention. Dude should get a haircut, Jeongguk thinks to himself as he leaves the door open for Taehyung to enter. 

“Hey man,” Taehyung greets Jeongguk, stepping inside and closing the door behind him. “Is ___ home?”

Jeongguk cocks a single eyebrow. Shouldn’t he have checked that before coming here. “She’s in the shower,” he tells Taehyung, plopping back down on the couch. Taehyung nods, thanking him quietly before heading for your bedroom. Jeongguk watches him, grumbling under his breath because he’s starting to get tired of seeing Taehyung’s face that often during the week. He sighs to himself, trying to focus on his cartoon show instead of the sounds of you giggling inside your room.

Long hours pass before Jeongguk hears Taehyung leaving, the clock striking eleven in the evening before he’s out of you and Jeongguk’s apartment. He did leave quite in a rush though, making Jeongguk curious. He leaves his laptop on as he gets up from his bed to go to your bedroom. He knocks on your slightly opened door, peeking inside. You’re nowhere to be seen making him frown and furrow his eyebrows. He hears shuffling in the kitchen as he moves to the living room. When he reaches the doorway to the kitchen, he leans against it. You’re moving around, rummaging through the cupboards for something, dressed in pajamas shorts and an oversized t-shirt, one that looks awfully a lot like one of his.

“What are you looking for?” Jeongguk calls out, making you jump in surprise. You hold a hand to your chest as you turn to look at him, eyes wide. Jeongguk smirks lightly at your shocked expression, noticing the light blush that appears on your cheeks.

You turn your back to him to continue to look through the cupboards. “Just some snacks, I’m craving some right now,” you tell your best friend who you have no idea is just behind you. You freeze in your actions as Jeongguk reaches up to grab his usual snack off the top shelf. He hands it to you, smiling softly. You squint at him, wondering why he’s giving you his favorite snacks and the last pack at that.

As if he can read your mind: “You can have them if you want.”

Smiling, you open the pack and pop one into your mouth, the crispy consistency making you sigh in content. Jeongguk laughs at your happy expression, knowing the way to your heart is usually through food. 

You grab another piece, holding it up to Jeongguk’s lips. He glances at it before opening his mouth and letting you feed him. His eyes are on yours the entire time as his lips brush your fingertips. Your heart leaps, making you pull your fingers back quickly. Jeongguk doesn’t seem to notice as he smiles, chewing the snack with the same happy expression you sported just moments ago.

“Let’s talk,” you suddenly blurt out, Jeongguk looking confused which causes you to explain further. “We haven’t like talked talked in a long time, so uh yeah, let’s talk?”

Your declaration has turned into a hesitant question as you wait, needing some kind of response.

“Sure,” he shrugs, smiling again. As he turns on his heel, you smile back and follow him into the living room. You plop down beside him on the couch, unintentionally letting your legs rest against his thigh as you pull them up under you. He glances at your bare legs for a second before diverting his eyes to you. “So what do you wanna talk about?”

You shrug, “I don’t know, life?”

Jeongguk chuckles, “life?”

You nod enthusiastically, smiling at him, “yes, life.”

He purses his lips, wondering if there’s anything to tell. You basically know most things already and not much has happened the past weeks except for the fact that his little ‘I’m in love with my best friend’ hasn’t resolved at all, and that he’s still hopelessly in love with you even though you have a boyfriend now. Which still seems surreal to him because it’s one of his friends whom he usually likes but not right now because well, yeah, he’s dating you. But there’s no way he’s actually going to tell you all of that.

“I don’t have anything to say,” he decides on saying, pouting playfully. You chuckle at his facial expression. He smiles at you, eyes going soft because you’re sitting so close to him for the first time in a long time and he feels relaxed. More relaxed than he has been for a while.

“Nothing much for me either,” you sigh, moving the pack of snacks closer to Jeongguk so he can eat some. “Tae asked me to come home with him for the fall break, he wants me to meet his parents.” You leave out the part where you broke up with Taehyung.

Jeongguk’s movements come to a halt, one banana crisp inches away from entering his mouth. “Really?”

You nod. Jeongguk notices how your tone was slightly hesitating and off as you told him about Taehyung’s request.

“Isn’t it a bit…” he trails off, not knowing which words to use without sounding like an asshole. You watch him as he searches for the words.

“A bit what, Gguk?” You press.

He sighs. “A bit over the top, maybe?”

You scoff lightly, “what’s that supposed to mean?”

Jeongguk panics as you move a bit away, your legs no longer touching his. You give him a look that tells him to explain what he means. He sits up, elbows resting on his knees. “Listen, I just think it’s a bit unnecessary since it’s obvious that this relationship isn’t as important to you than it is to Tae.”

“You don’t know that,” you tell him, voice stern. Jeongguk is right, but you’re not gonna tell him that. He hasn’t been talking much to you for the past months hence he has no idea what he’s talking about because you haven’t told him anything about your now ended relationship with Taehyung. Call you bitter, you don’t care. Your best friend hasn’t shown any interest in your life whatsoever for two months now and yes, you’re blaming him for the tension there is in this home.

Jeongguk lets out a small groan in frustration, “but I do, ___! I do know,” he insisted, turning to fully face you, “I can tell because you’re not looking at him the way he looks at you, you’re not fully there every time he’s kissing you goodbye by the door before he leaves. I’ve witnessed it enough to know that you don’t feel the same as he does.”

You’re silent as he talks, listening to everything he says but still holding onto the bitterness that you have for him in regards to his little to no interest in you for two whole months.

“Don’t you dare deny it, ____,” he snapped, “I know you and you don’t love him.”

Punch him. You want to punch him for knowing you so damn well and for seeing right through you. And you want to punch him for being so dumb and blind that he still hasn’t figured out why you’re not in love with Taehyung. How can he not see that he’s the one you love? You’ve been wearing your heart on your sleeve for the entire summer and more, slowly falling in love with him ever since that night he brought you to the frozen yoghurt shop downtown.

“You’re right. I don’t love him,” you mumble under your breath. Jeongguk glances at you, eyes still filled with a small amount of frustration and anger, all directed at you and only you. “But you have no right to tell me this when you haven’t been interested in me and my life for two fucking months, Jeongguk!”

Jeongguk’s eyebrows furrow together in confusion, his heart slowly starting to beat faster because why are you fighting? What the hell just happened? “Wha-” 

You get up from your seat, moving further away from him and Jeongguk feels like you’re slipping right through his fingertips even though he hasn’t ever been the one to hold you. But he should have, he should’ve been the one to hold you from the start.

“You don’t get to do this, not now when we haven’t really spoken to each other for so long,” you jabbed, “it’s my fault too, but I don’t come at you for having several girls over, do I?”

Jeongguk sighs, running his hands over his face in aggravation. “___, you’re overreacting. I wasn’t trying to tell you anything, I was just-”

“No, Jeongguk. No,” you shake your head, sneering at him. “I don’t need you to tell me or suggest anything, I don’t need your input and I don’t need you to make a decision!”

Jeongguk gets up, moving towards you, face twisting in anger. “Tell me, ___. What is he to you, huh? What is he?”

You glare at him, eyes hard on like his own and you don’t falter one moment. This anger and frustration has been a long time coming now, from both of you. “You’ve said he’s your boyfriend, but what is he really? Is he a fuckbuddy? Is he just someone to get yourself off with, huh?”

“No, Jeongguk, fuck you!” You shout, defending whatever it is that you have with Taehyung. “He’s good company, and no, I don’t see him like he sees me. He’s nothing more than good company but I actually like being around him unlike someone else I know!”

Jeongguk chuckles flatly, no humor behind it as he steps back from you. Hurt flashes across his face as he gets what you just said. “I see how it is,” he nods, giving you one last hurt look before retreating to his room. You stand back, hand coming up to cover your mouth as a cry rakes through your body. You didn’t know you had been holding back tears, the emotions you have for Jeongguk being poured out in the form of heavy tears in the middle of your living room. You’re frozen in your spot, sobs shaking you as you hold yourself. The sound of Jeongguk slamming his hand against the wall makes you move out of your frozen spot. You quickly make your way to your own bedroom, slamming the door behind you. 

You slide under the covers, head feeling heavy as you let the tears fall. You didn’t intend to hurt Jeongguk the way you did, but you practically just shouted at him that you don’t like being around him, that his company isn’t good. It must’ve hurt him more than what you or he, himself, expected it to. You feel bad as you let your duvet engulf you whole, the taste of regret on your tongue as you keep repeating your own words in your head. 

“He’s nothing more than good company but I actually like being around him unlike someone else I know!”

How could you even say that when Jeongguk hasn’t been anything but great company for you? He has been even more than that, he has been a friend you needed more than you ever knew, a person so supportive and loving that you always felt like you had someone to come to whenever times were rough. And in the midst of all this, you managed to fall for him as well. He didn’t do much to make it happen, he was just himself from the very beginning of your friendship and you’ve seen sides to him not many people have witnessed and you know the real Jeon Jeongguk. The Jeongguk who loves his camera more than anything, the Jeongguk who loves food and snacks and banana milk as if he was five years old again. The Jeongguk who’s such a softie, when you first get to know him like you do, that half of it would be more than enough. The Jeongguk who loves with his entire being, always putting his loved ones before himself – including you.

You sigh deeply, hating yourself for shouting such inaccurate words at him. You had to make it up to him, apologize to him for being so inconsiderate when all he did was trying to make you realize that the relationship you have with Taehyung is a waste of time. Jeongguk is right, you know he is. You don’t love Taehyung and you know you never will. The feelings just aren’t there, they’re elsewhere with someone who’s been worthy of them since what feels like forever.

Sleep doesn't overcome you as you stay in bed, staring at the ceiling. You’ve been tossing and turning for the past few hours, trying your very hardest to fall asleep ever since the fight you had with Jeongguk.You glance at the clock on your nightstand that’s reading 3 am — you have a morning lecture to attend in 6 hours. You let out a heavy sigh. Eyebrows furrowed together in frustration and your lips in a pout because why the fuck are you not able to sleep? Your eyes feel heavy from crying, but your best friend is taking up all your thoughts and the feelings you have for him are almost bursting out of your chest.

You groan to yourself as you roll over, pulling the duvet over your head. Closing your eyes, you try again for the umpteenth time. “I just wanna sleep,” you whine to yourself, but it’s no help. You give up on sleep.

You’re only half aware of what’s happening as you get out of bed and leave your bedroom, heading for Jeongguk’s bedroom. You stop in your tracks in front of his door. Maybe he’s also up, you think to yourself as you reach for the doorknob, turning it lightly. Peeking inside his dark room, you notice him fast asleep in his bed. You softly smile through the evident feeling of regret which is still heavy in your stomach. Without further thinking, you slip inside his room and close the door. You tiptoe over to his bed, glancing over him once again.

He looks peaceful, eyes shut and eyelashes touching the top of his cheek. Yet there’s a crease on his forehead and a slight frown upon his lips. The corner of your lips turn into a frown, copying his features unintentionally. Your eyes rake over the rest of his body. The duvet is only halfway covering him, from the waist and down. his naked chest is rising and falling as he breathes deeply. A soft tingle runs through your stomach as you carefully crawl onto his bed. You lift the duvet and slip under, sliding closer to him. He stirs in his sleep, turning over onto his side. you glance up at his face, noticing his eyes slightly open. You can barely see him in the darkness, but you can feel him looking at you.

“Hey,” he whispers into the darkness.

You smile, a sad smile, but he can’t see it. “Hi.”

“Can’t sleep?” He asks, voice soft yet hoarse. He moves a bit, trying to lay comfortably while creating more space for you. He’s careful not to touch you. 

You shake your head at his question. “Not really,” you mumble.

You scoot closer, hand reaching out to touch his that is lying between the two of you. “I’m sorry,” you whisper softly into the night. Jeongguk turns his hand, letting you intertwine your fingers with his. 

“For what?” He mutters quietly.

You breathe out shakily as Jeongguk is now the one to move closer to you. You let out a sigh, relaxing as his forehead rests against yours, his breathing clashing with your own.

“For the things I said, for shouting at you, for insulting you,” you explain, voice still soft and low as if someone outside would be able to hear you. “I didn’t mean any of it, I just-”

You stop yourself, hesitating. Should you just tell him? Tell him why you don’t love Taehyung when you have plenty of reasons to do so? Jeongguk senses the inner battle you’re having with yourself, his hand squeezing yours to let you know that you can tell him whatever it is that you have on your mind, reassuring you that he’s listening. “I don’t love Taehyung,” you sigh, “I broke up with him tonight… And there’s a pretty good reason for this.”

Jeongguk nods, humming in response because he already knows, it just took him insanely long to realize. Your thundering heart and shaky breath gave you away the moment he moved closer to you. Jeongguk is daring as he leans even closer, breath hitting your lips. You gasp lightly at the feeling of his lips ghosting yours, the skin of them softer than anything. His hand lets go of yours only to snake around your waist, pulling you flush against him. Your hand touches his bare chest, the almost new and fresh tattoo he got two weeks ago feeling rough yet soft under your touch. He’s holding you so close that you’re unconsciously holding your breath.

“I was so scared,” you whisper against his lips, hand moving up from his chest to the back of his neck. Your fingertips brush against his hair, his long and slightly curled hair soft like you had always imagined it to be. “Scared you wouldn’t say it back.”

The tension in the room is almost unbearable but in a good way. This is months of feelings, tension and longing all coming together and clashing right here in this moment. You feel breathless, like you can’t breathe but at the same time, you’re perfectly fine.

“Say what back, ___?”

His hand runs along your hip and to your thigh, hooking around it and bringing it around him to hug his waist. His crotch is almost touching yours and your breath hitches at the feeling. Jeongguk smirks to himself, knowing exactly what kind of effect he has on you. He loves taking your breath away like this, but he can think of another way, something he’s been dying to do for a long time.

“Tell me,” he demands softly yet strongly, making you gasp again.

“I love you, Jeongguk,” You breathe out, feeling a weight coming off your chest, “I love you so much.”

Jeongguk’s heart skips a beat, a small smile appearing on his face as he cups your face, thumb running across your cheek. “You’re an idiot for thinking I wouldn’t love you back,” he whispers against your lips.

You whine at him for calling you an idiot and then you melt as he presses his lips against yours, soft and plump like pillows. Your hand tangles in his hair, fingers grabbing strands of curly, black hair as you let him kiss you until your breath is gone. It’s like you're sinking into him, fitting perfectly against his body. Goosebumps rise upon your skin as his hand wanders; over your bare legs to your waist and further across your chest and up to lightly wrap around the base of your throat. His tongue pokes at your lips, wanting to find yours. You part your lips, letting his tongue touch yours, the wetness and softness mixing well together as he pulls you even closer, a moan slipping out of you.

“Shit, ___,” he grunts against your lips as you press your core to his in eagerness, making him lose his mind, “please let me fuck you, let me love you so good, baby.”

You nod frantically, giving him full permission to do whatever he wants with you. A tiny squeal emits from your lips as he pushes you over, hovering over you and trapping you between his arms. He looks down at you, eyes soft and filled with want and lust. You smile up at him, hands running up and down the sides of his naked torso. You loved touching him like this, feeling his muscles tense under your touch and his soft skin that is filled with heavy tattoos, all of them having their own special meaning.

“I love you,” he whispers so softly you almost don’t hear it, eyes flickering between yours.

“I love you too,” you whisper back, cupping his face to pull him down to meet you for a kiss, a sloppy and wet kiss that makes your body tingle. You hum in satisfaction as he moves away from your lips, kissing his way down to your neck. He licks a stripe up your neck and to your ear, tongue flicking at your earlobe. He makes you shiver, his touch soft like a feather and yet rough enough to make you feel them more evidently than anything you’ve ever felt before.

As he works his way down with his lips, your hands are everywhere. On his shoulders, in his hair. You’re squirming under his touch, feeling impatient as he takes his time with you. It’s like he already knows every part of your body as he runs his hands down your sides and up under his T-shirt, that you’ve stolen at some point, pushing it up and revealing your breasts. He pulls the shirt all the way off, throwing it onto the floor without looking. His room is rather cold, making your nipples stiffen. He licks his lips, looking at your chest with hungry eyes. You gasp as he cups your breasts, thumbs running over each nipple. You bite your lip, holding yourself from moaning too loudly. You can’t hold it in as you watch him wrap his wetted lips around one of your hardened nubs, tongue lapping over it and flicking it.

“Holy sh- Jeongguk,” you moan, eyes closing as you arch your back in pure pleasure. He bites onto it causing you to twitch in his grasp. He smirks up at you as you glance down, watching him move to the other breast to give it the same amount of attention. He’s such a tease, you can barely comprehend it in your mind. 

A small tiny moan emits from your lips as he moves further down, lips kissing the skin on your stomach, trailing around your navel and to the edge of your pajamas shorts. He glances up at you for permission which you grant him with a small nod, teeth biting onto your lower lip. He hooks his fingers under the waistband, pulling shorts and panties down your legs. They’re on the floor within a matter of seconds, out of the world and out of the mind of the both of you as Jeongguk focuses his attention on the wetness that has formed between your legs. His dick twitches in his boxers, the sight of you bare and naked in front of him messing with his head.

You whimper as he spreads your legs, revealing your wetness to the cold air of the room, making you shiver once again. He inhales as he lowers his face between your legs, quiet growl leaving his lips. “You smell so good, baby,” he rasps, hands running from your ankles to your thighs and squeezing the soft flesh there, making goosebumps appear on your skin. “Can’t wait to taste you.”

The feeling of his lips against you makes you jolt, your breath quickening as you feel him kissing against your folds. Jeongguk brings a hand up, the other hand gripping your thigh tightly to keep your legs spread for him. You moan lightly as he runs a finger down between your wet lips, loving every second of watching and hearing you squirm beneath his touch. You’re not prepared for the feeling when he spreads your folds with his fingers before diving in, licking up and flicking your already sensitive clit with the tip of his tongue.

“Oh my god,” you moan out, your hand digging into his hair as he licks and eats you out like a starved man. Your breathing picks up as he quickens the pace of his tongue, feeling yourself nearing your high. “D-don’t stop, Gguk.”

Jeongguk hums in response to your words, letting a finger slip between your folds and inside you. You gasp, leaning up onto your elbows to watch him. Your mouth hangs open, a fucked out expression on your face as he glances up at you, lips still tightly connected to your core. “Oh,” you hum, biting your bottom lip tightly, “oh, fuck.”

His mouth leaves your wet lips as another finger sinks into you, pumping in and out at a fast pace. He’s desperate to bring you to your orgasm, lips kissing all over your thighs and lower stomach. “Let go, baby, cum for me.”

Your arms give up, your head hitting the pillows as your first orgasm of the night comes at you with full force – Jeongguk’s goal is to make you cum at least three times tonight but you don’t know that. “Fuuuuck Jeongguk,” you moan, voice high pitched as you close your eyes. Your toes are curling, fist grabbing the sheet tightly as his fingers fucks you through your orgasm. As you come down from your high, Jeongguk removes his fingers from you, your release covering them as he holds them up. You watch him bring his fingers to his lips, licking your cum off them. You whine, sitting up to reach for him, desperate for more.

He chuckles with a smirk, letting you pull him closer by hooking a finger around the silver necklace around his neck. Your lips finally land against his again, a sigh emitting from you as you let him lead you back onto your back again. You can taste yourself on his tongue as he positions himself between your legs, his cock twitching against your core. You can feel how hard he is through his boxers. Your tongue dances with his as you reach down, cupping him through the fabric of his underwear.

He grunts against your mouth, letting your lips go to rest his forehead against your collarbone. Your hand squeezes him causing him to whine lightly. “Baby, don’t do this to me,” he rasps, lips pressing tiny kisses against the skin on your throat. “Need to fuck you.”

You nod, running a hand through his hair and down his neck to his shoulder blade. Pushing at the waistband of his boxers, he gets the hint. He helps you push them down his legs, his cock springing free and slap against his abdomen. You let him do the rest himself. He kicks them off, leaving them to fall onto the floor, long forgotten. He reaches over to his bedside table, opening the drawer and pulling out a condom. You watch him rip it open with his teeth before reaching down to roll it onto his sensitive, throbbing dick. You kiss him once he returns back to hovering over you, tongue sloppily fighting against his. Pulling away, he trails kisses to just above your breasts and back up to your neck. His hands are everywhere on you, running over your nipples to your stomach and further down to brush against your still wet, pulsing core. “Still so wet for me, huh?” He hums against your neck, teeth lightly biting into your skin. “Only for me?”

You nod, breathing heavily, “only you, Gguk.”

You can feel his smirk against your neck, shivers running through you at the thought. He lines himself up, leaning up on his elbows to glance at your face. You lock eyes with him, your hand coming up to cup his cheek. He leans into your touch, eyes closing momentarily before he presses a kiss to your palm.

The moment his eyes open again, you gasp. They’re dark, filled with lust and desperation. You don’t get to say a thing before he pushes past your folds and inside, making you moan his name out loud in surprise and pleasure. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, oh my god,” you moan, grabbing onto his bicep tightly. He hisses at the mixed feeling of your nails digging into his skin and the sensation of finally getting to be balls deep in you after all these months. He bottoms out, head resting in the crook of your neck as he stays still for a moment. 

“Oh god, you’re big,” you breathe out into the darkness, taking a few minutes to adjust to his size before you tell him to move. He chuckles against your neck, pressing a small kiss there before leaning up to support himself on his hands, looking down to see where you’re connected as one. “Gguk, please move.”

You’re in another world as he pulls out and pushes back in, the force already unlike anything you’ve ever tried before. How is he better and bigger than what you’d expected? 

“Fuck,” he groans, “you’re so tight.”

Your moans become more high pitched for each thrust Jeongguk does, your stomach tightening in just the right way. He sets a steady rhythm, somehow managing to hit the perfect spot every single time. “I love you so much,” you gasp out as he grinds into you, bottoming out in you and filling you to the brim.

He moans at your words, a hand grabbing your leg and wrapping it tightly around his waist as he fucks you harder. “I love you too,” he breathes out against your lips before kissing you hard but sloppily.

Jeongguk man handles you halfway through, unwrapping your legs from his waist and bending them to press against your chest. This angle causes him to hit even deeper than before. “Jeongguk, please fuck me faster,” you whine, moaning. He bites into his bottom lip as he follows your command, setting a faster yet still hard pace. Your eyes roll to the back of your head as he hits you deeper for every single thrust, his balls slapping against your ass as he fucks hard into you.

You’re seeing stars as you close your eyes and moaning out loud in pleasure, loving you better than anyone ever good, cherishing your body in every way he can as he brings you to another orgasm. White flashes for your eyes as it hits you, hands digging into his hair and pulling him in for another kiss. “Oh my god, fuck,” you whine against his lips, feeling yourself tighten around him.

This brings him to the edge, low grunts and groans leaving his lips in between sloppy kisses. His last thrusts become even harder as he hits his high, he stills as he cums into the condom. He’s breathing hard along with you, forehead resting on your chest.

“Holy fucking shit,” he sighs deeply as he pulls out before plopping down to lay beside you. He pulls the condom off and throws it into the bin close to his bed. “That was-”

“Amazing,” you breathe out, turning onto your side to look at him. He turns his head, smiling at you. “You’re amazing,” you tell him.

He grins, leaning up to press his mouth to yours in another sloppy yet soft kiss. You peck his lips one, two, three times before resting your head on his chest. Jeongguk wraps an arm around your waist, pulling you close to his side. The duvet is pulled over the two of you as you’re slowly beginning to drift off to sleep. You don’t allow yourself to fall asleep before you’ve talked about this whole thing.

You rest your chin on his chest, locking eyes with him. His finger tips are running up and down your naked back, goosebumps rising once again.

“What now?” You question hesitantly, voice soft and careful.

Jeongguk shrugs, smiling softly at you. He brings a hand up to push strands of hair behind your ear. “It’s just you and me,” he softly says, running his thumb across your bottom lip. You kiss the pad of his thumb, making him smile even wider.

“Just you and me?” You repeat.

He nods, “you and me.”

You lean up, pressing a last kiss to his lips before resting your head against his chest once again, this time really falling asleep. Jeongguk lies awake for a bit, fingers still running up and down your spine. Your soft snores fill the quietness of his bedroom and it already feels like this is how it’s meant to be, finally.

The sun is forcing its way through the curtains in Jeongguk’s bedroom causing you to stir in your sleep. You stretch before rolling over onto your other side, coming to face a sleeping Jeongguk. You smile, feeling your chest fill with warmth and love as you watch him sleep with his mouth slightly parted and light snores leaving him as well.

You reach out, brushing his overgrown, curly hair out of his face. He stirs lightly, reaching up to wrap his hand around yours and intertwining your hands. He’s still sleepy as he opens his eyes, dark brown eyes meeting yours.

“Hey,” you whisper, shuffling closer so that you can press a soft peck to his lips.

He smiles, feeling his chest fill with warmth and the feeling of being content and happy in this exact moment. 

It doesn’t even take five minutes before Jeongguk’s is more awake and has you pinned down beneath him. He leans down, lips ghosting yours as he rests himself between your legs. He’s still naked just like you.

“Wanna go again?” He whispers against your lips, pressing a soft kiss to them.

You chuckle, “wasn’t last night enough for you?”

He shakes his head, lips moving further down to your neck and biting into your skin, in the same spot as last night. “It will never be enough,” he hums into your skin. You can feel his dick twitch against your thigh causing wetness to quickly appear in between your legs.

Without another word, you reach down and line him up against your folds. “No condom?” He looks at you, confused.

You shake your head. “I’m on the pill and I’m clean,” you tell him, “aren’t you?”

Jeongguk looks at you in awe, nodding his head. “Of course, I am.”

He leans down, kissing you softly, tongue poking out to ask for allowance. You kiss him back, letting him in, arms wrapping around his neck to keep him close. Jeongguk lines himself up again, hand wrapped around the base of his cock. You feel him poking at your folds, stomach tingling in excitement because there’s simply no cock better than Jeongguk’s.

“I love you,” he softly whispers.

You smile, “I love you too.”

Just as he’s about to push himself fully inside, the sound of the front door slamming shut stills him. Jimin’s voice sounds throughout the apartment: “Guys, get up! I’m inviting both of you out to eat breakfast, so you better be ready in five minutes!”

Jeongguk drops his head to your shoulder, a groan leaving his lips. “I can’t believe I get cockblocked again,” he grumbles against your skin, making you laugh out loudly.

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