#but I guess I can grab some new kitchen screenshots and a better view of the tv shelf which is nice

[urlthatsumsmeup]

everyone: *freaking out about literally everything going on this episode

meanwhile me: *trying to figure out how the hell Morio Kart supposedly works when there’s not a single button Rei constantly presses to drive

[ricksbowen]

one more time | pt. 6

IN WHICH: y/n goes out with ej, ricky’s feelings are too much to bear, y/n goes back to the root of her fear of love.

INSPIRATION: everything has changed — taylor swift ft. ed sheeran, atlantis — seafret

WARNING: this has implications of sex. this series is usually heated, but this part has no smut in it. but i will say that everyone here is 18+ and in their senior year.

pt. 1, pt. 2, pt. 3, pt. 4, pt. 5, pt. 6

i need help asap. come over

You sent Ricky that text an hour ago. Usually, he’d be at your house the moment he read it, willing to help out with whatever you needed help with. Usually, he read your texts with a hint of a smile gracing his lips, replying back with some stupid reaction meme he screenshotted off of Instagram.

But when Ricky read your text, his heart plummeted and his mood deflated.

He knew what you needed help with. You had told him everything about your date with Ej, from the time to the places he was bringing you. Dinner, then the movies, then to some of the rarest views in Utah. It sounded like a date that would’ve fallen out of a coming-of-age movie, and Ricky felt like the teenager who got screwed over in every corner.

He didn’t respond for an hour. Ricky kept his mind off of you by writing lyrics in his notebook, guitar in hand as he tried to sort his emotions out. He didn’t want to know what he was feeling, but he wasn’t stupid. Ricky wasn’t blind to the way his heart rate picked up when you laughed, or how an unstoppable smile lifted his lips when you told a terrible joke.

He wasn’t blind to the way he looked at you in a new way when you laid in front of him. You didn’t see it, thank God, but Ricky knew you were going to figure him out at some point.

Ricky prayed that when that day came around, you wouldn’t cut him out of your life.

It took an hour for him to finally drop his things and grab his skateboard. You didn’t live next door, but you lived in the same neighborhood as him. It was helpful for times like these, when one of you needed the other in times of toil ( though this was probably the opposite ).

Ricky walked up to your door, letting out a breath he didn’t know he was holding in. He raised his fist, knocking at your door twice. He heard you cursing from inside, your footsteps loud at you practically tripped down the stairs. You threw open the door, and Ricky suddenly couldn’t breathe.

The black slip-on dress you wore fit you perfectly, gleaming against the setting sun from outside. Your hair was clipped back with two red clips, and the dangling earrings you wore matched the two necklaces that adorned your neck. Your face was only half done, the powder white against your cheeks as you gaped at him.

“Holy shit, what took you so long?” you asked with an exasperated look, unaware of his lovestruck expression. You reached for his hand, the simple action sending lightning running up and down his arms, and pulled him inside, shutting the door behind him.

“I needed help with what I was gonna wear,” you explained nonchalantly, walking up your stairs. The lack of Ricky’s footsteps following yours made you turn to look at him with a frown. “Are you coming?” you asked, worry glazing over your eyes. “You’re being weird.”

The worried tone in your voice made him snap back into reality. He coughed, rubbing the back of his neck as he quickly kicked his shoes off and leaned his skateboard against the wall. “Right.” Ricky followed you up to your room, regret filling his stomach for even coming over in the first place.

“Anyway, I needed your help for what to wear,” you repeated, sitting in your chair and leaning forward to continue your makeup. Your room was a mess, with your clothes strewn every which way and shoes scattered on the colorful mess.

“Obviously,” Ricky murmured, observing the mess and making you snort.

“I found what I was gonna wear though,” you continued on, occasionally looking at him from your mirror. “But since I like you, lover boy, I’m letting you stay.” You grinned at him through the mirror, smile dropping at the disappointed look he had as he sat on your bed. Something was up; normally, he’d respond with his nickname for you, paired with a witty remark. But Ricky Bowen was being quiet, seemingly deep in thought as he stared at your floor.

“What you said that night when I called helped me out a lot.” Nothing. That didn’t get him to respond. “My parents don’t know I’m going out, so this night may be my last.” Nothing. “A girl asked me if you were single today and I said yes.”

Ricky frowned. But the girl wasn’t you.

You resorted to silence, your theories running wild in your head as you finished your makeup. You stood up, brushing off your dress and walking up to Ricky. Wordlessly, you took his hands into yours and held them. “Whatever is happening to you,” you started, making him look up at you. If you didn’t look beautiful before, you looked like a goddess now. “I hope you know that I love you. A whole fuckin’ lot.”

Not in the way he wanted you to.

“Really?” Ricky forced out past the dryness in his throat, the beaming smile you made making him turn into a puddle of feelings.

“Really. And you know I don’t like saying that, so,” you shrugged. “You must be pretty special.”

Ricky couldn’t help but chuckle at that, shaking his head to himself as he stood up. Your hands still held his, his warm ones clashing with your cold ones. “You’re something else, L/N.”

You shrugged yet again, the cheeky smile on your glossed lips bright. “I try. Hey—“

Your doorbell rang. You and Ricky sucked in a breath, both for terribly different reasons, and you pulled your hands away from his.

“Oh, God he’s here.” You rushed for your jean jacket, throwing it over your shoulders. “Fuck, I was so confident until I realized this is actually happening— can you get the door, please?” you asked, not looking up at you rummaged through your closet for your handbag.

The walk to your door felt like a walk straight into death, and Ricky found himself silently encouraging himself before he opened your door. Ej stood outside, a bouquet of crimson roses ( Ricky knew you preferred white ones ) in his hands and dressed in a simple white button-up and black jeans.

“You’re not Y/N,” Ej stated, making Ricky grin and shrug his shoulders

“No shit,” Ricky remarked, reluctantly opening the door wider for Ej. “She’s upstairs,” he said curtly, words short and cold as he let Ej in. Ricky shut the door behind him, pressing his back against it with a small sigh.

The sound of your bedroom door closing made both of the boys look up to your stairs. A grin appeared on Ej’s face at the sight of you walking down. Ricky only stared, mouth slightly agape. He saw you while you were getting ready, sure, but you still made him breathless. You had never radiated so much beauty, nerves, and excitement in your life.

“Wow,” Ej said, making you smile sheepishly as you pressed a small kiss to his lips. His arms snaked around your waist despite the flowers he had in his hands, smiling against your lips.

That hurt Ricky on a whole new level.

“Not too bad yourself,” you murmured, hiding your nervousness behind your confident comments. You looked at Ricky, smiling gratefully at him, yet not getting one back.

“I gotta go,” Ricky mumbled, words quick as he pulled his shoes on.

“Why?” you asked, still in Ej’s arms as you looked at him. “Ri, are you—“

“I’m fine,” Ricky snapped, swallowing down the lump in his throat as he grabbed his board. He saw the way your excited look dropped into hurt, but Ricky shoved off the guilt and opened your door. “Have a good time,” he forced out, slamming the door behind him.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧⠀.

The sight of your profile picture asking for FaceTime yet again made him gulp nervously.

Ricky knew his outburst would raise your suspicions. He regretted it the moment he left, the image of you kissing Ej replaying over and over in his head like a movie. He knew he had to pick up the phone; not picking up would only make you question him more.

He pressed the green button, running a hand through his hair as he looked at the screen. Your face came up, your makeup still on your face and your dress replaced by a sweater and sweatpants. The usual smile didn’t appear on your face like it usually did; you were staring at him with worry.

“Are you okay?” you asked, gazing at him through the screen. “You kinda left in a hurry, and I thought—“

“I’m fine,” Ricky interrupted, knowing fully well that he was the opposite. He couldn’t let you know. He knew the way you’d react, how you’d cut all ties with him in fear of getting hurt yet again. “How was the date?”

“Pretty good! It felt good being out there with him,” you said with a slight smile, and Ricky immediately knew what came next.

“But?”

“But,” you drawled, shaking your head to yourself. “We both agreed that we were better off as friends. It felt weird,” you scrunched your nose in slight disgust. “Like, we were siblings. It just felt wrong.”

It was almost ridiculous how regretful Ricky felt for feeling relieved.

“I guess I’m a little happy. I mean, if it went somewhere it’d probably just end up broken,” you rambled, eyes set on the sleeve of your sweater as you picked at it.

Ricky frowned. Was this how you thought of every relationship? He never saw you as the pessimistic type ( in his opinion, you were more of a realist ), yet hearing you say that every relationship went downhill surprised him. “You can’t think of every relationship as that.”

“I’m not wrong,” you protested, eyes snapping up to him. “It always goes that way. Someone either falls out of love, break up, or they..” your voice trailed off, eyes blanking out for a second as you went into a ‘stare.’

“Cheat?” Ricky finished softly, making you tune back into reality and nod.

“Yeah. Cheat.”

“Luka! I got take out!” You set the food on his kitchen counter, looking down at your phone and laughing softly at the texts from the theatre group chat that you were added to ( despite the fact that you didn’t join the musical ). Luke gave you a key to his house ‘just in case,’ and while you normally didn’t use it, you only used it for surprises like this one.

The silence that followed after your yell made you furrow your brows. Normally, he’d come down the stairs at your voice, saying something along the lines of, ‘Wow, I love you,’ that would make you blush like a schoolgirl. But there was nothing that followed, and you found yourself walking up the steps of his stairs to try and find him.

“Luka?” your voice was hesitant as you peeked into the rooms leading up to his. But as you neared his door with each step, you heard a sound that made your face contort in confusion.

Moaning.

“Dear God, if he’s watching porn,” you muttered to yourself, walking up to his room and slowly opening it. You expected better, the belief of Luka being the perfect boyfriend strong in your mind as you opened his door.

The sight of Luka kissing another girl, her blond hair splayed all over his pillow as his hips moved from under the sheets sent your idea of him crashing down. He didn’t even see you, too engrossed in the beautiful girl he was hovering over as his speed picked up. Her perfectly manicured hand ran through his black hair, the action making you feel sick to your stomach as you watched. You couldn’t tear your eyes away, disbelief, shame, sadness, and anger washing over you in hard waves.

Luka saw you when you gulped. The girl below him let out a loud yelp, her hands rushing at his sheets to cover herself while Luka stared at you.

Tears were rolling down your cheeks, your hands making no effort in trying to wipe them off. You didn’t even realize you were crying, your eyes dead set on Luka’s shirtless form. He didn’t even try and protest.

“I,” you forced out, swallowing down the lump in your throat as tears pressed hard against your eyes. It was all too much, the want to cry and scream and hit him too much to bear, yet there you stood. Frozen like a deer in the headlights. “I wish you the best,” you muttered past your tears, turning away from them and slamming the door behind you.

You drove to Ricky’s that night. You were sobbing, tears falling down your face like a never-ending stream. You hit your hand on your steering wheel angrily, the realization that he never loved you back hitting you over and over. It had to be a joke to him. The days you spent in bed with him and out, laughing and kissing and playing around as if you were both the perfect couple. Everyone else thought you were.

If only they could see you now.

You rang Ricky’s doorbell, the wind blowing hard against you as you stood outside. The sun had already set, 11 PM hitting the clock as Ricky opened the door. His smile dropped at your tearful eyes.

“Y/N?”

You didn’t say anything, only falling into his arms and letting out a sob. You were a mess of tears and cries, your face buried into Ricky’s shirt as you let your emotions out. Ricky brought you up to his room, laying down on his bed and letting you move into his side, your head on his chest and his hands running through your hair.

It was 12 when you calmed down, the tears still falling yet no sound leaving you other than your sniffles.

“He cheated,” you mumbled, sniffing yet again and feeling Ricky tense up. “I saw them and— and heard their moans and I can’t get them out of my head,” you whispered, voice breaking as you spoke. Your arms were wrapped around him, holding him close to you as if your life depended on it.

“What’d you do?” Ricky murmured, silently scheming a revenge plan in his head. He looked down at you, heart breaking at the hiccups and sniffled you emitted.

“Wished them the best,” you replied. “Trash belongs with trash.” You felt a chuckle rumble up in his chest, the sound making a ghost of a smile appear on your lips. Silence washed over you both, the only sound being your small sniffles until you broke the silence. “Is this what love is?”

You sounded so innocent, so heartbroken asking the question, and Ricky quickly shook his head as he leaned down to press a kiss onto your head. “No. Love doesn’t leave you like this.” He sounded so sure of himself despite his past, yet you couldn’t bring yourself to believe him.

You gazed ahead of you, sniffing again.

You changed that night. Your mindset on relationships, on feeling, on love changed that night with one broken relationship, and a new fear bloomed. You were never the same after that night.

Ricky knew that.

————————— 𑁍༅ཾ༚ ————————

TAGS: @tomshufflepuff​, @myrandom-fandomlife, @softpeteparker​, @sarcarstic-space-weirdo​, @particularcth​, @lifes-a-party-youre-a-boy, @paniniirae, @supersouthy​, @jointherebellion215, @gabyer0309​, @hannarudick​, @broken-from-fandoms​, @complete-trash-101, @ssprayberrythings​, @raven-waheda, @timelordtardis​, @chubby-cheek-calum, @nicole-lynne​, @loserr-likeme​, @whoseblogsthis​, @stxfxniexreads, @cherrydolan​, @allaroundaddict, @of-outerspace​, @blueevelvt, @kitykatnumber, @rocketdolans, @givemebooksorgivemedeath, @80sthottie, @lawstudentbydayfangirlbynight​, @cynthia060​, @hollandary, @kitykatnumber​, @hueycat2004

[emmy-writes-sometimes]

Second Home

You get into the college of your dreams, but your parents aren’t on board. Your other father figure, Sebastian, steps in. 

-

           “Who is…?” You wondered as you reached into your back pocket, pulling out your phone. Normally you wouldn’t use your phone during a shoot, but most people knew not to contact you during a shoot anyway. You were an intern for Marvel, a director’s assistant, and you’d only gotten it because of your uncle who wasn’t really your uncle, Sebastian. Your parents had been friends ever since college, and it was safe to say that you considered Sebastian as a second father. He was your second home, essentially. Especially since you didn’t get along with your parents that well. You just had different views on just about everything, and you fought constantly. You were hoping to get away from them for college in New York. But the problem was they hated the idea; they didn’t even want you to go to school in Atlanta. They didn’t want you away from them, at all, because they were just so controlling over you.

           Your admissions decision to New York University

           Your heart started beating so rapidly in your chest that you were sure the director could hear it from five feet away. You were anxious beyond anxious; statistics said you would get in, but you knew that their film school was particularly hard to get into. You quickly opened the email, scanning through the first half of the first sentence, and your heart stopped for a minute. We are pleased to offer you admission…

           “Sebastian!” You called out. He was standing over by the set, scrolling on his phone, and you waved him over.

           “What? What are you so excited about?” He asked with a little smile.

           “I got in! I got into NYU!” You spoke so loudly that everyone else could hear you. Most of them just smiled and nodded your way, but Sebastian was the first to pull you into his arms and mess up your hair, making you laugh.

           “Oh my goodness, I’m so proud of you!” He replied with a grin, finally letting you go. “Show me the email!” You showed him your phone and his smile only got wider. “You got a scholarship, too? That’s amazing!”

           “I know,” you said, “I can’t believe it. I really thought I wouldn’t get in, because you know, last semester’s grade wasn’t that good, but…”

           “I knew you could do it. I’m proud of you, kid.” You smiled, taking a screenshot of the email, and sent it to your best friends. You were completely overjoyed, but it all faded when a notification from your parents popped up, asking when you’d be home. Your parents. Dammit. You were going to have to deal with them, weren’t you?

           “There’s a problem, though,” you said. Sebastian looked down at you, confused. “My parents. They don’t want me to go anywhere, much less New York.”

           “It’s not like I’m not there for you,” he shrugged. “Just tell them you got a scholarship. I’m sure they’ll understand. It’s a fantastic school. You’re so much better off there than anywhere else.” You nodded. He knew them better than you did. Maybe he was onto something.

           You finished what they needed you to, ran to give the producers something in their office, and started the drive back home. Luckily, there was traffic and you were able to have some time to think. You practiced saying it to them multiple times, but you never got far before you were too afraid to keep talking. Finally you pulled into the driveway and walked in, not expecting them to be at the kitchen table already. They were silent, which was scary, and you tried your best to give a poker face.

           “Hey,” you said with a small smile, putting your bag down. They were looking at a letter. It had the NYU heading. And you froze. You thought they were only emailing you, not sending you a real letter, because that’s what you’d checked on the application. You stopped in your tracks and tried to calm yourself before…

           “So when were you going to tell us that you directly disobeyed us?” Your dad said. He was too calm. “We told you not to apply to the school because you’re not going.”

           “I got a scholarship,” you mumbled. “I was going to tell you when I got here, they just weren’t supposed to send real mail…”

           “Because you were going to hide it from us?” Your mom asked.

           “No, I…” Your voice cracked. “I wasn’t trying to hide it. I was just going to figure out a plan before I told you, so maybe…”

           “You’re not going,” your dad said. “Period.”

           “I have to, I got one of the biggest scholarships they offer. Which, most parents would consider a great achievement.” Your dad scoffed.

           “A scholarship for what? Film? Do you realize how many…”

           “Yes, I realize, but going to NYU would be…”

           “You’re not going.”

           “I’m going.”

           “Not without our financial support. Which we won’t be giving you,” your mom cut in. “If you accept this offer, Y/n, you can consider yourself no longer a part of this family.” You turned away and grabbed your bag again, just walking away. You knew they would act like this, but part of you was hoping they wouldn’t. Part of you was hoping they would surprise you and be cool with it, especially after you said you were planning to find a way to fund yourself. And, besides, you had a few thousand saved up from your internship so far.

           You walked out of the house and got in your car and started driving. You didn’t know where, and by the time you stopped in the parking lot of your high school you didn’t even remember how you got there. Your parents had called so much that your phone battery had drained to almost death. They didn’t dare call the police on you for something so stupid, considering all you had was your backpack and your car. You turned off your car, locked it even though you were completely alone in the parking lot, and sat there until you lost every ounce of control you had left. You cried, you screamed, you beat on your steering wheel and accidentally hit the horn. You turned the car onto accessory and realized that it was almost 11. You checked your phone again to see that it was on ten percent, and your parents had texted you saying just not to bother coming home unless it’s to move out. You just ignored it, but what you didn’t ignore was a text from Sebastian.

           What happened? Your parents called and said you ran away? Are you okay????

           Yeah, you replied. Went to school. He started typing but didn’t give you a response. Your phone died right after, too, so if you did get a response it didn’t go through. You were completely and totally out of it, drained from the fight, when a familiar car pulled up and next to yours. It was Sebastian’s car. You flipped the unlock button and watched as he slid into the passenger seat beside you, waiting for you to say something.

           “They found the letter,” you said to him. “And they said not to come home unless it’s to move out.” Sebastian sighed, offering you his arm, and he hugged you from across the console.

           “I’m sure…”

           “No, they meant it.” You wanted to hand him your phone, but it was dead. And, of course, your charger was in your room. “I don’t even know what to do. I had a plan, I could make it work even if it was a shit ton of loans, but… They weren’t supposed to find out.”

           “I’m sorry,” he said in reply. “But what do you mean? They kicked you out? Completely just kicked you out?”

           “Yeah.”

           “I guess they’re shittier than they let on,” he scoffed. “Come home with me. We’ll move you in, I have the guest bedroom. If you need to stay with me in New York, you can too. You’re going to NYU if it kills you and me.” You smiled a little bit.

           “You don’t have to, I’m sure one of my friends…”

           “You’re family. That’s what family does.” He nudged your shoulder a little. “Come on. You can follow me. We can go back and get your stuff when your parents are at work tomorrow, I’ll get us a longer lunch break.” You nodded, wiping tears away from your face with your sleeve, and watched as Sebastian left you to get back into his own car. You followed him back to his house and walked in behind him, only realizing how tired you were when you saw the guest bedroom. Sebastian said he was going to make some dinner and get you an extra charger, leaving you for a few minutes.

           “Hey, dinner’s…” Sebastian walked in carrying a charger, only to find you asleep on the bed. You didn’t even take your shoes off. You were just so tired of dealing with everything that you’d just fallen asleep. So he did what any surrogate parent would do – he covered you up and let you sleep, just grateful that you were safe and sound.

A/N: For the anon who asked for Seb to take the reader in after they run away. I loved writing this one! 

[shawnpetermuffins]

Misery Business (decode 2)

A/n: and the much requested part 2. Part 1 is in my masterlist under my song based fics. This will be the final part.

Summary: Shawn's finally starting to realize what this relationship has done to him.

Warnings: angst, swearing, the usual

Word count: 2.2k

***

I should be happy. My career has never been better, my singles are doing pretty great on the charts, I'm in the top 5 most listened to artists on spotify, and I'm getting loads of publicity hanging with Camila. And don't get me wrong, she's beautiful, hourglass figure that every guy wants, I guess. There's just something wrong and it's this, she's not y/n. I thought our relationship would withstand anything my career threw at us, I really did. But I should have known that she wasn't okay with this. I knew that there was always some kind of underlying territorial battle between her and the girl that's currently holding my arm while we walk down the street, but I ignored it for the sake of a few extra views on a music video, for a few extra streams.

This publicity thing has taken y/n away from me and no one seems to notice, or care, because the songs are doing so good. Since she walked away that night no one has talked about it. No one asked what was the final straw, it was just never brought up. And all that's going around Twitter and Instagram are these God awful, staged photos of me and Camila acting like we're so in love when in reality I am heartbroken and on the verge of a nervous breakdown in most of them. 

"They're looking," she says into my arm. "Kiss me now." She's been telling me to do that a lot more often recently and I'm starting to feel just how wrong it is for us to be doing this. She knows about the breakup, but it seems like she couldn't care less. She parades me around town and follows me on tour, adding a little too much tension between me, Brian and Connor who have barely spoken to me since y/n left. It's clear that they weren't on my side in this situation, but that didn't matter to Camila. She was eating the attention up. She loved knowing that people were talking and that they were talking about her, it apparently didn't matter in what context. 

"Andrew," I grab my manager's attention one night before he goes into his hotel room.

"Yeah, bud?"

I clear my throat, glancing over my shoulder to make sure no one was still out wandering the hall, listening. I lower my voice anyway, "How much longer do Camila and I have to keep up this PR game? The fans are starting to notice it's fake."

"We have to keep it up at least until the stadium show."

"What? What happened to it ending after the VMAs?" 

He shrugs, "Sorry. We need to sell more."

"The stadium's already sold out, what do you mean we need to sell more?!"

"Shawn, you said you were okay with this. What's going on?"

I lost the best thing that's ever happened to me because of this stupid game. That's what's going on. But I just sigh, "Nothing. Nothing, guess I'm just worried. I don't want the fans to lose interest. I can't keep ignoring the question."

"Well you can't talk about it. We're under contract. Now it'll be over before you know it. So for now, just enjoy it. Enjoy the publicity. You need it. Gets people excited for new music."

You know what else gets people excited for new music? Promotion.

---

I'm scrolling through Instagram, seeing all the photos fan accounts are posting of me and Camila, becoming more and more emotionally drained with each passing second. But then I see something that catches my eye. It's a photo of me and y/n, one of the only photos she allowed me to post of us. Except it's split right down the middle. I hurriedly look at the caption.

Fanaccount Is no one going to talk about the fact that we don't know how, why, or WHEN y/n and Shawn broke up??? Did we all just forget that they were together for 2 years?? What happened to our girl? 

Then I start reading the comments, which I shouldn't do, but I can't stop myself.

Fanaccount2 Idk if it's true but someone said she was still on tour with him up until like 2 weeks ago…

Fanaccount2 Do y'all think Camila had something to do with it?

She had everything to do with it.

fanaccount3 Who cares? He's with Camila and she's better.

Fucking liar. 

fanaccount4 I know we don't know what happened, but if it's because of C that's fucked up. Y/n deserves better. Shitty PR to sell a song that's already been at #1 for weeks?? If he lost her to this I feel bad for him. 

     Fanaccount5 But what about her? She had to watch all this go down? It was a really dick move for him to even think it was okay to do this.

   fanaccount6 Okay but look how happy he is with Camila. He clearly doesn't feel bad, so why do you???

Fanaccount4 THEY WERE TOGETHER FOR 2 YEARS! and now he's sucking face with his "best friend" come on. That's shitty and you know it.

I don't even realize that I'm crying until I can hardly catch my breath. I'm panicking. I haven't had to deal with a panic attack alone since y/n came around, but this is the third one I've talked myself out of since she left, and I've had to go back on my medication. I never realized that she was the main thing helping me through.

My phone buzzes with a notification - a message from Andrew. 

It's a screenshot of my spotify account and it reads: #2 baby!!

I want to hurl - my phone or the contents of my stomach, I'm not sure. Maybe both. But I guess, we've got the fans where we want them. 

But like we always do, in true Hollywood bragging, we post the screenshot to our Instagram stories. And Andrew to his feed and twitter. It's all working so well. They're buying it - the relationship, the song, everything. But when I look at my follower count and see I'm down at least 100,000… maybe not everyone is buying it.

---

We're in her hometown and every part of me wants to go see her, wants to make sure she's okay. Because I have the day off and it would be so easy to just drive out to her and make things right. But Camila won't leave my side and I'm going insane.

"Shawn, pay attention to me!"

And I snap. "What do you think I've been doing these past two months, Camila?! I've been paying attention! Jesus, fuck, give me just two minutes of alone time."

"Whoa! What's up your ass?" She crosses her arms over her chest.

"You!" I scoff, throwing my hands up.

"You've been moody all week. Do you want to talk?"

"Not to you," I mumble, but she hears me.

"You're serious? This is about y/n? It's been a month, Shawn. It's time to move on."

"Move on? How am I supposed to move on when she was the literal best thing to happen to me? When I lost her because of this stupid PR move that is in no way helping me anymore, Miss number two!"

"Now I don't deserve to be number two? Really?"

I don't say anything else, I just take my phone and wallet from the coffee table and leave without another word. I don't know where I'm going until I'm there at her doorstep, breathing heavily and running my clammy hands through my already ruffled hair. Before I can talk myself out of it, I knock on the door and wait, my hands in my pocket.

"Can you get that?" I hear her say to someone inside, but I'm not expecting it to be my own best friend.

"Brian?" I say, confused.

"What are you-?"

"Bri, did you? Shawn?"

"Connor?"

"Guys, who's at the…" she stops cold in her tracks when she sees me.

"Y/n," I sigh. I can't read her face. She could be any number of things, but shocked is probably the most accurate.

"Babes, can y'all give us a second?" Her arms cross defensively over her chest while the guys retreat to the kitchen. When she walks further into the living room, I let myself in, closing the door behind me. "What the hell are you doing here, Shawn?" 

"I miss you," I say desperately. "I - I know I fucked up. Severely fucked up. I put my career ahead of you and I said I'd never do that. The numbers became more important and it shouldn't have been that way. I'm so sorry. Just… please give me a second chance. Let me prove to you that you're first. Always."

"A second chance isn't going to do anything for you, Shawn."

"How do you-?"

"Because you're still pretending with her! If you're even pretending at this point! I can't be with you like this because if the numbers were all that mattered two months ago, who's to say they're still not going to matter three years from now? Your entire career revolves around them and I'm not going to be your number two. That isn't what I signed myself up for. Not to mention my Twitter mentions right now are your fans calling me a whore for standing in the way of 'Shawmila's true love!'"

I flinch, "I'll fix it."

"You can't!" She screams and I see the guys slowly make their way into the room. "Jesus, don't you get it? It doesn't matter what you think you can fix because I can't forgive you! I'm done. I'm over it. I don't want this!" She gestures between our bodies. "You don't want me, you want the familiarity. Well, why don't you teach her how to calm down your anxiety attacks. And tell her how you like your eggs in the morning, and how you'll only get out of bed after at least ten minutes of silent cuddling.

"And you go around town acting so fucking innocent, which no one believes, by the way. Teach her how to be your girlfriend, and how to do it right because clearly I wasn't doing it right," her voice cracks at the last part of her sentence and it breaks me in half. When the first year falls, I want nothing more than to take her in my arms, but I hold back, knowing damn well she doesn't want me near her.

"Y/n, it's not the same without you. The concerts aren't as fun, the days between drag on forever. I thought that being seen out would make the numbers rise, and yeah it has, but I'm losing more than im getting."

"That's not my fault. You did that." She wraps her arms around her, holding herself together. Just like I've always known her to. I notice that the tears aren't falling anymore either. She stopped then just as quickly as they started. 

"This isn't how I thought we would turn out."

She bites the inside of her cheek, her clear sign that she's distraught.  "You know, it's funny. It took me so long to realize that I was watching your dreams come true. Selling out arenas and winning awards and putting out awesome music. I watched all of those dreams come true. Not once did you say I was a reason for it. You always avoided the questions about if the songs were about me. I was - I was never part of your dream, Shawn. And I put mine on hold to watch you live yours. It's my turn," she looks at me with some type of fire in her eyes. "Its time for me to go for my dreams and watch them come true. I thought it was you. You were my dream for so long, but that's just not it anymore."

I suck in a shuddery breath, "no. Y/n, baby. Please."

"You need to go."

"Y/n," I reach out for her but I'm stopped quickly by my best friend.

"She told you to go, Shawn."

"I'm not leaving until we fix this."

"Just let it go, man. She doesn't want you anymore." Connor says from his same spot, only this time with y/n in his arms, her head buried deep in his chest. Seeing her in the arms of another makes me crazy and I lunge for him, but Brian pushes me back again. 

"You need to go. I'm not saying it again," he's practically dragging me out the house.

I point an angry finger at Connor, "You're fired."

"That's fine," he says. "Good luck with the rest of the tour." He shoots me a glare and then his attention is back to my sad ex-girlfriend. And I'm out the door before I realize it.

"What am I supposed to do?" I ask aloud because I feel Brian standing behind me, making sure I don't get any ideas to go back inside.

"Sounds to me like you need to reevaluate your priorities. You chose this career, and up until recently you were able to balance love and music. Find that again. Now go back to the hotel. I'll see you for soundcheck tomorrow." The door closes once again. But this time it's closing on everything that was and everything that could've been. I know I'm not getting her back. I chose the music business,  but now it's the misery business and there's no way to get out of it.

***

Tags: @curlyshawny @anamariel2301 @shawns-badreputation @bbellbagel @turtoix @ivegotparticulartaste @tomshufflepuff @dino-16-avocado @sleepybesson @lifeoftheparty74 @shawnssongs @luvluvxx

I hope you enjoyed it. I'm sorry for the angst. Like, reblog, and leave feedback!! 💙💙

[golbrocklovely]

only the lonely survive // colby brock - chapter fifteen: and about forgiveness, we’re both supposed to have exchanged

A/N: hey guys :) here’s the next chapter. some crazy stuff happens in this, so let me know what you think. i’ll be coming out with another request at some point soon, so be on the lookout for that.

description of the story

taglist:  @ajosieface , @localsleeper , @julyrubyrose , @far-to-many-bands , @absolute-randomness-forever

trigger warning: cursing

word count: 2200

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After talking to Casey for over an hour about Colby and Brennen, I finally went to my room. Removing my dress from the other night and changing into pjs, I scrolled through my phone again out of boredom. I was gaining a lot of followers and subscribers, my dms were filled to the max, and people were tagging me in everything.

This is all a bit overwhelming.

I clicked on my username on insta and went down to my secret account: my Sam and Colby fan account. No one knew of golbrockloves, mostly because I never talked about it. I especially haven't brought it up to Colby.

How do you tell the guy you made out with that you have an instagram dedicated to him and his best friend without looking creepy? Exactly.

I slid down my feed, only to be met with pictures and videos of me. One video was a screen recording of my snapchat from yesterday, me and Colby in the store.

Why does that feel like such a long time ago?

The next couple pictures were from people's stories: screenshots of me and Colby dancing together, me and Colby next to each other in the kitchen, me and Brennen.

I bit my lip anxiously as I clicked on the comments. They weren't exactly bad, but they weren't great.

 snc3lifee who the fck is she?????

samnccolbby her @ is skyebennett

lovely_sncc is she dating colby or brennen?

saramcc OMG COLBY AND HER ARE SO CUTE TOGETHER

solby5vr she better stay away from colby!! HES MINE!!!!

dolansnc why can't colby stand next to a girl without everyone shipping her with him? jesus christ this fandom

 It was strange to see fans talk about me, as if they didn't know I would see what they were saying. Maybe having this fan account was a good thing: I could see how they all honestly thought about me without anyone knowing.

After reading more and more comments, I could tell most believed me and Colby were together. Or maybe me and Brennen. No one was certain. All they knew was that I was close to both. A lot of fans kept saying that I wasn't dating either one of them and that I was just friends.

While still lurking around on insta, I got a bunch of notifications from my personal account. I switched over to it to see I was tagged in multiple snippets of videos. Clicking on the it, I saw the face of Travis Marcus. He had uploaded a new video to his channel, titled "my truth".

Oh God...

I went to youtube and saw his video was slowly starting to trend. I clicked play and sat down on my bed.

Travis sighed, glancing up at the camera. "Hey guys, it's your boy Travis. Um, I have a lot to get off my chest right now. I'm sorry my energy isn't as high as it usually is. But, I needed to set the record straight. There is a lot of shitty things going around about me lately and I wanted to clear the air and tell you the truth."

"Skye, did you see-" Casey stated, dashing into my room. She stopped when she saw my phone in my hand. We both stood there watching Travis.

"So, as you guys know, I was recently accused of doing something terrible... of bullying another youtuber. I won't say her name because she doesn't deserve any more hate... or clout." His lips twitched, trying to cover up a smirk.

"As if he didn't tag you in the fucking video. Fucking asshat." Casey mumbled.

"One of her friends, Brennen Taylor, an old viner, tweeted that I made fun of her at a party recently. I just wanted to say that this is completely false. What actually happened was that I introduced myself to her. She claimed she was a huge fan and that she wanted to… get with me." Travis nodded his head uncomfortably.

What the fuck.

He continued. “I declined because she was extremely intoxicated. She then proceeded to get upset with me, made a huge scene, got kicked out of the party, and then I can only assume went to Brennen. He was also really drunk, which is why he tweeted in the first place.”

Casey gasped. “Are you kidding me? I'm gonna kill h-”

I hushed her, my eyes never leaving the screen.

“I have footage from that night, because I vlogged it. However, the audio got fucked up so I'm sorry for how muffled it is.” He admitted.

The screen changed to the night of the party. I saw myself standing in front of Travis, talking to him. The audio was complete garbage, low and muffled. I glanced over at the camera, only a moment later Travis nodded at it, smirking. Something I didn't see at the time. My face contorts for a second, he shrugs, and I shake my head, leaving immediately afterwards.

“Now, does that look like I was making fun of her? No. I would never do that. She was upset because I respectfully told her I didn't want to get with her after all her advances. She literally tried later that night to dance up on me, but I just wasn't into her. After I filmed this, she got kicked out for trying to hook up with another youtuber. I think she's desperate for views and just wants more followers.” He declared.

“So, don't give her that attention. And, don't send her hate guys. I wish her and Brennen the best honestly. Sorry this video is so short, I needed to get this off my chest. I hope you all can understand. Peace.” He threw up a peace sign, and then pushed his hand into the lens of the camera, the video fading to black.

Stunned silence fell over the room. Neither one of us could speak.

“Is this real life? I kinda feel like I've had this nightmare before.” I whispered.

“He can't be serious. Does he really think he can get away with this?” Casey shook with rage.

“Why wouldn't he be able to? He has almost a million followers. I just passed 2,000, if I haven't already lost all of them.” My voice faltered.

“I'm gonna call Brennen and see if he can help.” Casey left quickly, pulling out her phone.

I laid my back against my bed, closing my eyes. I took a couple deep breaths, trying to slow down my heart-rate.

That's it.

I sat up quickly. I went over to my desk and pulled out my camera. Setting it up on my tripod, I got comfortable in my chair.

I sighed deeply, then turned my camera on

"Hi everyone. I didn't think this amount of drama would happen to me so soon in my youtube career, yet here we are." I joked.

"I'm sorry if this video is a little all over the place. I'm not editing it. I'm just gonna post it as is.” I clapped my hands together, trying to stop their shaking.

I cleared my throat. “If you don't know, I'm the girl Travis Marcus made fun of. Or he claims he didn't make fun of. I need you all to know that he is lying. I'm not sure why when he could easily just admit he fucked up and apologize. Instead, he did this.”

“I want to tell you guys what actually happened that night…” I stated, looking directly at the camera.

I began to explain that party in detail: how Travis came up to me, how he flirted with me, only for him to make fun of my appearance and film it. I then went on to explain how I left the party because of him ruining my night, only to be told a couple hours later that he got kicked out of the party because he started a fight with Sam, Colby, and Brennen by throwing his drink on Kat.

"I have four witnesses, plus my best friend. And Big Nik's security team could easily corroborate my story. On top of all that, I have this."

I grabbed my phone, pulled open my dms on twitter, and found Travis' message to me. I showed the message to the camera, letting it focus on his words.

Travis: please tell Brennen to take down the tweets. Things are getting out of hand. I apologize for what I said.

"Why would you apologize for something that you didn't do? All of this could have been avoided if you wouldn't have made fun of me. I get you're 'famous' and have the ego the size of a tractor-trailer, but that doesn't mean you get to make fun of random people because they don't fit into what you think is attractive. Be nicer. Be kind. And stop lying to make yourself look good."

I reached over and turned off my camera. I paused, my breath hitching in my throat for a moment.

Holy fuck, did I just film that?

/  /  /  /

I felt cozy surface beneath me tremble slightly. Three times in a row. I opened my eyes, glancing around my dark room.

Was all of that a dream?

I slid my hand over my bed, finding the item that was vibrating. I turned it over, my eyes closing instantly from the bright light. Squinting, I saw messages from all different people. But the most recent made me smile softly.

Colby: are you up to talk?

I shuffled my body upwards, leaning over and turning my light on. I gazed over at my sleeping laptop, my camera still plugged in. The memories flooded back to me. I uploaded a response to Travis, and instantly fell asleep from anxiety induced exhaustion. I didn't even want to see if anyone supported me or not.

Unlocking my phone, I went to Colby's message immediately.

Skye: just woke up. i'm down to talk.

Moments later, my phone started ringing. I answered it. "Hey Colby."

"Hey. How are you doing?" He asked sweetly.

I chuckled. “I've been better, that's for sure.”

“How long have you been asleep? Everyone's been trying to contact you.” He stated.

I shrugged. “Right after I uploaded the video, I fell asleep. I was just too stressed.”

“I'm sorry to hear that.” He apologized.

I held back a smile. “It's okay. I'm alright.”

“So, I guess you don't know what happened.” Colby replied.

“No, what did?” I questioned.

“Travis deleted his video.” He deadpanned.

I sat up quickly. “Wait what?”

“Well, after you posted yours, Brennen and I talked to Big Nik and we found out from him that his friend John was recording a snapchat during the fight that occurred with all of us in it. It shows Travis getting pulled out of the party yelling essentially what he said to you at everyone.” He informed me, continuing. “He cussed and screamed while he got kicked out, and John sent the video to Messy Monday, and they uploaded it to twitter. It's been trending for the past couple hours.”

“Holy shit. So, the snapchat proved me right?” I muttered.

“Yep. Travis took down his video. He's been radio silent since.” He laughed.

“He probably left a few choice words for me.” I said, rolling my eyes.

“If he did, let me know. I got some unfinished business with him.” Colby joked, causing me to let out a laugh. “Besides, before he deleted his video, Sam, me, Kat, and Brennen all came out on twitter and said that you were right. On top of that, apparently a thread was created of how rude Travis has been to fans. So... he's kinda done for.”

“I wouldn't be so sure of that. He'll be back in less than a month.” I scoffed, pulling my blanket closer to me.

“Well, even if he does come back, everyone will know you were right.” He reassured.

I picked at my blanket. “Tell that to his fans.”

“Enough about Travis. Is there anything I can do to get your mind off of him?” He requested.

I sighed. “Like what?”

“Go out with me.” I could hear the smile in his voice.

“What?” I choked.

“Go out with me. Where ever you want to go, I'll take you there.” Colby promised.

“When are you taking me out?”

“How about tomorrow? Say eight P.M?”

A smile rose to my lips. “Okay... that sounds good.”

“Where do you want to go?” He inquired.

“If you don't mind it... I kinda want to stay in for a bit. Hide away from the world. Maybe you could come here? We could order take out and watch some movies. And cuddle?” I bit my lip nervously.

He agreed happily. “That sounds fantastic.”

“Good. I can't wait.” I beamed.

“Is there anything else you want to talk about?” He mumbled, yawning.

I shook my head. “No. Besides, you sound like you need to go to sleep.”

“I'll stay up if you want me to.” He admitted.

“No. No, I'm okay really. You should get some sleep.” I declared.

“Alright. I'll see you tomorrow.” He responded.

“It's a date.” I smiled.

“Goodnight, Skye.” He whispered.

I giggled quietly. “Goodnight, Colby.”

<< CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 16 >>

[precuredaily]

Precure Day 113

Episode: Futari wa Precure Splash Star 15 - “Softball is the Bond between Mother and Daughter” Date watched: 12 April 2019 Original air date: 14 May 2006 Screenshots: https://imgur.com/a/6udeh4g Project info and master list of posts: http://tinyurl.com/PCDabout

Young Saki is always a win

Now that Michiru and Kaoru’s allegiance is known, we can see them truly playing their part as infiltrators. They spy on Saki's morning softball practice and comment on how silly and futile it seems. Gohyaan pops up and tells them to return to their fountain, but without even batting an eye they unanimously say “no” and walk off to class. During literature class, all of the softball players are dozing off, to the ire of the teacher, and an offhand comment from Mai that they’ll do well in the tournament tomorrow gets the sisters thinking.

[[evil thoughts]]

During the after school softball practice, they intercept Dorodoron before he can attack the Precures, and remind him that full-frontal assaults without a strategy are why Moerumba lost. They hint that the girls’ power as Precure seems to be connected to their moods and enjoyment, so Dorodoron decides to play coy and sticks a tiny pebble Uzainaa in her catcher’s mitt that will cause her pitches to go wildly off target. This works for a while and it really kills Saki’s spirit. That night at dinner, she has no appetite and goes to sleep early, until she has a nightmare about missing 100 pitches in a row and allowing the other team to win in a landslide.

She snaps awake at about 1 AM and realizes she’s hungry so she goes downstairs to grab something. Saki finds her mother in the kitchen, working on new confections for the store, and after some motherly prodding Saki unloads all her troubles. Mom reminds her that she didn’t start out great, and missed a lot when she was a child too. Her mother told her then that the most important things were to “Give it your all, try your hardest, and have fun!” and she reiterates that now. At the time Saki wanted to use her mom’s glove to see if it would help her, but of course she was much too small for it to fit her hand back then. Now, however, her hands are about the same size as her mother’s, and so Saori suggests her daughter try using her glove for the game tomorrow.

(as an aside, I realize I am very much underselling this scene, it’s a powerful moment, but in my effort to keep this concise I’m having to skimp on the details)

The next day Saki is feeling enthusiastic again after her mother’s pep talk and she eagerly chats with Mai on the trolley about getting to use her mom’s glove in the match. Dorodoron is riding on top of the train, somehow completely unnoticed, and overhears this, and he is not pleased. He intercepts the duo on a bridge and says that he’ll let them go and not fight them today if Saki agrees to use her own glove. This sets off some alarm bells in the girls’ heads and they go back and forth, trying to find out why he’s so adamant about this. Finally, when Saki refuses to use her own glove, he gets angry and releases the Uzainaa, growing it back to giant size, and then somewhat fusing with it (not pictured).

Saki and Mai transform into Pretty Cure and realize that this Uzainaa is what’s been throwing Saki off her game. Dordoron taunts her, assuming that her spirits will still be down and therefore Precure’s power will be lessened and he’ll have an easy fight. He didn’t count on his ruse being revealed, or the power boost they would get from their righteous anger at his foul play. The girls strike in unison, brushing aside his attacks and delivering strong counterattacks of their own, surprising the soft-spoken general. Bloom explains that, despite his efforts, she still has the support of her mom, Egret, and all of her friends and teammates, and the goal is to do your best and have fun, so she wouldn’t let him bring her down. The Cures perform Twin Stream Splash on the monster and Dorodoron beats a hasty retreat. After it’s gone, Bloom expresses her disgust at the underhanded tactic, and the camera pans up to show Michiru and Kaoru spying on them from above, looking disappointed.

possible symbolism: Bloom and Egret facing toward each other, while Michiru and Kaoru face away from each other

Michiru says that the Precure are unexpectedly strong, while Kaoru retorts that it’s more like Dorodoron is unexpectedly weak, but they both agree that Precure have powers they weren’t aware of and they’ll have to keep watching them.

At the game, Saki scores the winning strikeout on the opposing team and everybody celebrates. She goes hom and makes dinner for her family that night: a special omelette! Now, the usual trope for pink cures is that they can’t cook and their food tastes awful, so imagine my surprise when her whole family agrees that the dinner was really good! Happy ending!

Look at those Kiryuu sisters, they just arrived and they’re already changing the game. Kiriya spied on Black and White the same as Michiru and Kaoru are doing to Saki and Mai, but he did very little to help his sister in battle. On the flipside, Michiru and Kaoru are giving advice to Dorodoron about better strategies than just charging in and demanding the location of the Fountain of the Sun. Trying to throw Saki off her groove was actually quite clever, and it would have worked if he hadn’t been such a dunce about it. He could have easily hidden near the girls and had the Uzainaa jump from Saki’s glove to her mother’s, further wounding her pride and confidence, but instead he jumped out and made a very suspicious demand that led to his premature defeat. I feel justified in picking apart silly villain plans because, in this show and later shows, the villains can and have done better, even on the instances when they still ultimately lose, so it’s not just me being salty that the good guys always win because it’s a hero show. Certainly, Saki’s speech about being inspired by her mom and friends was powerful, but imagine how much more powerful it would have been if Dorodoron hadn’t played his hand so early. Then again, that he needed the Kiryuus to point him in the right direction says a lot about his competence as a villain as well.  M & K’s scheming is fun, though, and I look forward to seeing what else they come up with. (I’ve honestly forgotten)

Also, the Kiryuus are the subject of a lot of interesting camera work. There’s that high angle, which is also meant to include Dorodoron, and there’s a low angle from his point of view:

Earlier when Gohyaan showed up to say hello, there was an extreme closeup on Michiru’s face showing her just barely moving her eyes and nothing else to acknowledge his presence.

Dorodoron isn’t exempt from the fun, he gets this one distinct shot that I really like:

For someone so timid he’s surprisingly expressive.

Saki gets to be the subject of some creative mood lighting and beautiful sunset animation.

I guess I’m a sucker for sunsets. There’s also these shadows that symbolize her sadness when she feels like she’s lost her skill:

And then the next day after talking to her mother, she’s bright and well-lit again.

Now, I’m going to cheat a little bit here, because I love pointing out poor-quality animation when it pops up. This following shot was only visible for a single frame before dramatically zooming out, so the low quality makes sense for the distance, but the split second that it’s there as a closeup..... it’s bad.

But as I said, their fight has some great synchronized action and that gives us shots like this:

It feels a lot more interesting than some previous episodes of the show. Y’all know I didn’t give Karehaan the time of day, and even Moerumba got a bit tiring. The villains themselves are endemic of my larger issues with the show: it was good but it wasn’t really doing anything. Now, however, we’ve got some much-needed intrigue and that’s helped the show a lot in this episode. As I recall, it only gets better from here, so I hope you enjoy coming on this journey with me.

The last couple episodes haven’t had much in the way of Saki’s catchphrase, so this episode decided to make up for it in spades!

Pink Precure Catchphrase Count: 3 Zekkouchou Nari (from Saki) Saki’s mom also gets in on the fun with a “Zekkouchou Nari” of her own, and.... Saki uses her anti-catchphrase, “I’m in bad form!” twice!

Miracle Drop Count: 2