#but I don't anymore cause I'm afraid of her boyfriend not liking it even if he knows there is and there never was anything between us

[disfrutalakia]

Nobody tells you how lonely it is to hang out with your irl friends when you're the only one who is not dating, the conversation eventually always turns into them talking about their boyfriends and you have nothing to add

I'm happy for my friends of course, but it is lonely all the same

[dilf-docs]

All Roads Lead To Rome

pedro pascal x younger!reader

summary: your boyfriend swears he isn't annoyed at your little surprise visit on the set of gladiator II; you might have to help him release his anger, one way... or another.

warnings: 18+ (minors dni), age gap (BARK BARK BARK), smut, p. in v., bit of exhibition kink cause they fuck on his trailer, he swears he's mad but he just wants head, oral (m. receiving), he also uses his armor and skirt while at it bc its hot and not bc i totally want that to happen to me or smth!!!, brat taming, orgasm denial, breeding and daddy kink lowkey, i'm so down bad for him so there's fluff!!! + pedro being whipped cause that's exactly what i want in my men, the cast makes cameos bc i love them!!! use of spanish (i'm latina so don't even try me), pedro wearing a skirt tehee

word count: 3,519 words

side note: i'm about as FERAL and horny as much as one could be!!! damn u pedro, making me walk out in the middle of class and walk on foot to the nearest theather for an early gladiator II screening (bc they're cheaper and i'm a jobless broke student lmao) that mind u it's my first solo trip to the movies but it's okay!!!! nobody interrupt me on my horny dilf hours amirite I TELL U that cinema was almost empty: just me, pedro and hey there's a spot if u wanna join mescal (look at my blog banner IYKYK) so yeah!!!! enjoy this porn lovechild that steemed from it; my pedro renaissance that'd been asleep since tlou dropped AWAKES (u don't get it, i literally watched narcos just for him) i'm so fr i need this man BIBLICALLY!!

"Lemme guess, that's her, right?"

Pedro looks up from his phone, slightly red and embarrassed. He would blame the color on the sun, and as an actor, fake his way out.

"No idea what you're talking about, Paul"

The young man chuckles.

"I mean, every break we get, you take your chair, sit the farthest and pull your phone with the most ridiculous grin I've ever seen. I'm afraid to tell you, friend, you aren't as slick as you think"

He leans back against the chair, covering his face with his large palm.

"At least I tried" he finds no point in lying anymore, "seems like I'm addicted, but if it wasn't for y/n, I wouldn't touch it"

"I'm curious, though" Paul scoots his chair closer, "who texts who? You or her?"

"Me" he answers, but then corrects himself quickly, a bit ashamed of how that makes him sound, "but it's mostly her first".

"Right" he doesn't sound convinced, rather curious and annoyed, something he's too old and tired for, "I don't believe you"

He's about to lock his phone, but the wallpaper (a selfie with you) would probably earn him another mock from Mescal.

"Too bad I don't need you to"

Before he can do so, the irish man yanks his phone away.

"Give it back!" he shouts, earning a few glances from the crew around them, "what are you, ten?"

"No, twenty-eight" they look like kids bickering. "No need to fight me, Mr. Pascal, they haven't taught us the new fighting choreography yet" he mocks, before the phone chimes; they both stop at the sound.

"What does this mean?" Paul asks. "Malta's nice" he reads out loud, "were you talking about possible future vacations? I might have to tag along"

He doesn't follow the man's joke, instead, looking at the message on your chat. Malta's nice, says the little cryptic message, and yes―it is cryptic, because you were just talking about missing each other and some other corny stuff he'd take to his grave. Not vacations, and certainly, not about the european island, which happens to also be the place were he's filming his latest movie.

"No, we weren't" he replies confused, "what do you think it means?"

"Well, obviously, you boys don't know anything" May pops up from behind, laughing.

"Were you eavesdropping?" he asks playfully, albeit, a little offended.

"No, you guys are just too loud" she replies nonchalant. "Besides, you aren't very good at hiding it, either"

"That's what I said!" Paul backs, laughing on his face.

"Stop being misterious and just drop it"

"It means" she pauses―laughing at her own little dramatic effect, "that you're getting a visit soon"

When you met Pedro, you were working in The Last Of Us. Nothing fancy, just part of the technical cast of the show: helping with the filming and stuff.

During those months, it was easy to find yourself falling for the main star (alongside Bella Ramsey), especially when you spent months behind a camera, capturing all of his perfect features; learning them by memory until you could draw them without seeing his face.

Yes, you had fallen for the older man, because it was as natural as breathing; easy as being alive―the fall so gentle and so easy, it was hard to know when the feelings started. You just woke up one day, feeling different.

You liked to act up―always had what you wanted, and times had changed (so it's not like he had to ask first): why not? Which is why during your last day of shooting you took some liquid courage on your veins and went up his way. It was at a little gathering the crew you've grown to call family organized, while wearing your favorite and tightest dress, that you approached him.

It surprised you that he even recognized you, but that's who he was: warm, welcoming and caring.

To augment the surprise, turns out he had eyed you already, but was too shy to do anything. Yes, the worlds most famous Chilean man. It did stroke your ego, and maybe that's why you feel like most of the time, you've got the upper hand on your relationship, despite the years in between.

Still, you feel like the last message you just sent was a bit too blunt. Now you sit at the tiny airport, pondering your next move.

You know your boyfriend isn't exactly the type to scold or get mad―despite his strong figure, but going against the only thing he asked you might test him. Which is why you feel nervous, despite the happiness around you, everyone in the airport looking straight out of a picture perfect summer edition magazine.

And your theory is proven exactly right when you arrive impromptu at the Gladiator II set: making heads turn and guards almost kick you out, thinking you're a fan.

"You don't get it!" you protest, "he's my boyfriend".

"Sure", they laugh on your face. "you're not the first to say that".

"She's not lying" oh, how you love that gravely voice. But not today: not when he sounds like a parent scolding a naive child. Not when his eyes bore into you, slightly irritated.

So now he's dragging you among the set, right to were his trailer is.

"Aren't you going to introduce me?" you ask, puffing your cheeks out in annoyance. He keeps dragging you by the arm, without sparing a glance in your way. Who does he think he is? "I wanted to tell Paul he made me cry―twice. You know I don't play about Normal People and Aftersun"

"But you do seem to play about my orders" he grunts out, opening the door to his trailer. The sunlight reflects against the white, slightly bothering your eyes with its shine, contrary to your boyfriend's gloomy behaviour.

"Are you being serious right now? You're not my dad to scold me. I just wanted to surprise you" you stand still, refusing to get inside. Pedro knows your character tends to be stubborn, and thought he finds it hot to reel you up sometimes, there are other times where he can't just stand that juvenile spirit of rage you tend to have when things don't go the way you want them to. "What's gotten into you?"

"I could ask you the same" he mocks. "Get inside. Now"

"Rude" you scoff, but obey regardless, and he breathes out relieved you didn't do a scene like last time; he still can't show his face on that restaurant to this day.

"I thought you'd be happy to see me" you say a tad bit dissapointed, and Pascal feels the pissed off feelings clouding his brain start to dissipate.

"I do, amor" he sighs, "just hate to see you do things I tell you not to; waltzing in here like you own the place".

You don't see the mistake, though. What's wrong with wanting to do a little surprise? It's not like you were a stalker or something; just a very clingy girlfriend who happens to miss her boyfriend.

"So, you're not mad?" you venture, "tell me you're not embarrassed"

He looks at you, the fondness of his gaze betraying him.

"I'm not the one wearing a skirt while trying to sound intimidating" you joke while caressing the crook of his nose, knowing you always get on his good side. Being mad isn't something that lasts, "if anyone should be embarrassed, that's you"

"Are you saying I shouldn't wear one because I'm a man?" your boyfriend looks offended, "Have you forgotten the movie I'm starring in? People feared the skirt-wearing Roman army"

"Well, I'm not intimidated" you stand defiant, and something dark tints his brown eyes. You can feel the excitement begin pooling in your stomach.

"You're not?" he grips your wrists and yanks you to him, then holds your chin, tilting your head between his calloused fingers. "Well, cariño, you should be"

Your body slams against one of the trailers walls, and you have to suppress a whine.

"You must be punished for what you did today"

You give him a doe-eye look, pretending to be all innocent, as if you weren't enjoying the punishment.

"I don't know what you're talking about. I've been a good girl"

"You know exactly what I'm talking about" he clicks his tongue, "don't play dumb with me"

"I just came to visit you" you murmur, voice husky against his ear. He grunts, and with the proximity, his hard-on rasps against your bare legs, only partly covered by the flowy summer dress you're wearing, "is that so bad?"

"It is. Has sido mala, cariño" his hand travels down under your dress, carresing with his large palm the silhoutte of your ass. The rings on his fingers create a shock, cold metal against your warm sun-bathed skin. "Naughty girl"

"I promise I'll be good, papi" you purr, using that honeyed voice of yours that makes it hard: hard to say no and hard between his pants.

Pedro sits on a small couch he has inside the trailer, guiding you with his hand enveloped around yours, motioning you to follow with a care so soft, you'd doubt he's about to do to you what he is about to do to you. He pulls you across his lap, smiling (God, you love his smile) as your stomach presses against his tights.

"Don't worry" he breathes low, his voice barely above a whisper. "I'll make you a good girl. Tell me, aren't you?"

You swallow, "I am"

He moves the panties easily to the side, rubbing your pussy a little. He then spanks it softly, making you mewl at the sting.

Pedro continues to trace over it, "Are you sure about that?"

"N-no" you shiver in delight, resolve dissolving as quick as it came. "I'm naughty"

"It's good to be aware" he murmurs, "Dilo otra vez"

"I'm a naughty girl"

He lifts your head by your hair. "Tell me what you did"

"Disobeyed your orders, coming to the set" you whisper. He lets go of your hair, his hands traveling down again, slowly teasingly rubbing your pussy while he humms.

"You were a little brat, amor"

You whimpered and mewled in delight. "I was a very naughty brat"

He pushed his fingers inside you, plunging his fingers into your pussy.

"Look at you. You're soaking wet" he pumped his fingers in you, making you moan, "Is that why you came to see me? Couldn't wait any longer for daddy to be inside of you?"

You bucked a little, making him stop. He drags his fingers out, causing you to beg for him to go back.

"Answer my question you greedy thing" He leaned closer to your ear. "Did you need my cock this much?"

You whimper, "I do! Missed you so much"

He pushed his fingers back into you, provoking a moan out of you.

"You're always so needy for me" your core tenses, making you shiver. "How badly do you want me? Tell me"

You whimpered "Badly, papi"

"Say it" his face contorts in satisfaction at your pathethic display; crying little mess, "Who's cock, fingers and mouth make you feel good?"

You can't think at this point, your brain fuzzy and pussy hot, leaking. You kiss his lips, moaning against them, "you!"

"Just me, yes? Nobody else can make you feel this good?"

"No one!"

You involuntarily roll your hips to aid you in pleasure, yet Pedro stops you just before you can reach your orgasm.

"Little brat." he tuts, making you groan. "Did you think I'd let you? You were naughty today, baby"

You huff in annoyance, used to having your way.

"That's your punishment"

"But I'll behave" you mewl against his ear, "I promise"

“Good, because I'm planning on fucking your brains out” his hot breathe whispers in your ear seductively, trying his best not to slur the words at the drunken haze that your arousal provokes in him, "but you have to help me first"

You get on your knees, looking at the garment he's wearing. The skirt and general costume makes this all the more hot, mouth watering at the sight. You raise the skirt, glancing at the briefs; just seeing his dick strained against the fabric makes you wet in anticipation.

He sees the pleasure bore into your orbs, and before you do any dirty idea of yours, he's already warning:

"You have to take this off, what if we-"

"Alright" you cut him off, "but the skirt stays"

"Sigue, pues" he growls, voice low yet demanding, following you in your little game.

As you pull the briefs down, his erection springs out enthusiastically, slapping up against his lower abdomen. You shifted your gaze up to meet his, his eyelids heavy and his proud smirk driving you absolutely wild.

"That's right" he chokes out, "show me how much you missed it"

You give him a proud lick, and Pedro hisses at the moment his preseminal fluid goes in between your hungry lips.

Your tongue darts to the head of his cock, running over it several times before bobbing your head down, taking most of him in your mouth. He keeps praising as you pump the base of his cock with your hand. Your head bobs, yet you peek up to hear Pascal's little sounds and facial expression, a motivation so intimate in the way his brows furrow and eyes roll, mouth agape at your movements while his lip suck on those pretty lips of his. It makes you keep going. With every bob you take as much of him in your mouth as you can, before slowly moving your way back up to the tip, increasing your suction the closer to his head you got. A throaty moan escapes the man above you when you now focus on the final lick, making him closer to coming, all while maintaining eye contact the entire way through.

"Don't do that" he rasps, yanking you by the hair again, as of punishment, but he knows you enjoy it, "you promised you'd be good"

You can't answer, so instead, you reach the head of his cock again, and now his eyes roll back, mumbling profanities that sound like heaven.

"Do you want them to hear us, brat? Qué necia eres" he manages to chastise while moaning.

You feel his dick stuck in your throat, and the way he's about to come; you think that after some time dating, you know him well enough.

You're about to leave with your mouth when he stops you.

"No" your eyes open in shock, "what? Did you think your punishment is over?" Pedro laughs, "don't look at me like that. Like you have never done it before"

He keeps you in place by the hair, the rings prickling against your scalp. You feel his muscles tense up, and before you can think anything else thick and hot shots of cum invade your mouth, making it sticky and warm.

"Don't pretend you don't like it" his voice goes dark, husky. "Swallow it all. Te han enseñado a no desperdiciar nada, ¿verdad? Show me your good manners, then"

When you pull out, your throat feels raspy.

"You gotta reward me" you cough out.

"I promised, didn't I?" his fingers trace your face delicately, with adoration.

"It's all about duty, General Acacius" you purr, and the dick springs out again. Hard.

"Princess..." he warns.

"For the glory of Rome" you joke and laugh, then cough, as your throat is still sore.

"Have you been reading my script?" as you avoid to answer, he just chuckles, "ay, nena"

"C'mere" he motions, and you sit on his lap again. Pedro lifts your dress, exploring the curve of your ass. There's anticipation as he hooks his finger around the waistband of your panties, pulling them down to access your core.

"Fuck" you squirm at his touch, grinding your freed cunt against his hard cock. He grabs you by the hip, adjusting you right on his lap.

"You taste so good" he kisses down your throat, ending at the chest were your tits peak.

"Want them?" you offer, pulling your dress down. He kisses them, gently nipping at your perked up nipples.

A wave of pleasure courses through you, and with whines and moans, you show how desperate you are, the hunger making the meal taste better. After all those weeks missing him, you just want him to fuck you senseless.

His lips are rosy and swollen against yours, mouths clashing; starved of the yearned contact. Truth is, no matter how much you know how to touch yourself, it'll never be the same as having his hard cock tear through your tight folds.

Pedro easily aligns his leaking cock with your uncovered pussy, all while mantaining the kiss. He pushes down on you, your dripping cunt taking all of his rock-hard cock, fingers holding onto the soft brown grey sprinkled locs.

"Pedro" you cry out his name, full of ecstasy as the stretch burns so sweetly. His low grunts only fuel your desire.

You trace with your eyes his body, now bare without the upper part of the costume: his pecs and abs, flexing with every pump. With now free hands, your fingers travel to softly caress his stomach, even if your tits are jiggling and the pace is rather frenetic.

"I missed you so much" you pout.

"Missed how you look" you clash your lips onto his, the adoration translating through the smile you press against, a trail of saliva that symbolizes how interwined you are, "you always look so fucking good"

"I missed you too" he whispers out, getting tired.

He's reminded of his old age, forgetting about it as soon as you two kiss, because you bring out a stamina he thinks he doesn't have anymore; almost animalistic. His bones creak and adding the tiring filming day under the hot sun, he feels his body start to give up, the orgams closer and closer.

He blushes, feeling like a stupid school boy with a crush. What did he even do to deserve you? Never thought a pretty young wild thing like you would even spare a glance on his way, but now you're taking all of his cock inside with such greed yet loom into his eyes with a love he's only dreamed of.

You're real, and his.

As soon as those words leave your mouth your orgasm spills over him, some of it dripping onto the skirt, making him curse. You can't stop, still meeting his thrusts halfway, despite your trembling body after reaching your high.

"Mierda" he groans against your mouth,

You feel yourself collapsing on top of him, the weight of the jet lag catching up.

"Getting tired, baby?" he coos. "Shit, and I thought I was old"

"You are" you reply back; you can never not have the last word. And he lets you, because, God, doesn't he love you? He pretends to look offended by it, but the way your eyes shine tell him you didn't mean it that way. "You and your white hairs" tracing over his moustache, a soft hand combing through his locks, "These wrinkles... don't you know how much I love them? how much I love you?"

"And you have no idea how much I love you" he squeezes his eyes shut, feeling it coming through. "God, wanna make you mine. Sólo mía" his pace slows. It's coming, and yes, you will take it all. "Wanna make you a baby, mami. Want you to take it all like the good girl you are"

When he comes, filling you with burning hot cum until you feel like you might burst, you're numb. But there's a feeling so content that pools warmth in your chest, that you can't say anything else, resting your head against his bare chest, both covered in sticky sweat.

"No sé cómo voy a explicar esto" he speaks through ragged breathes, and you can only smirk, "a squirted and cummed roman skirt".

"That isn't my problem" he scoffs, and you feel your head rise against the movement, earning a laugh out of you, "I'm not part of the movie"

"You'd sure think so, with the way you walked in here"

You roll your eyes, face hidden against his chest, "can you let that go?"

"You're right" he pulls you closer to him, hand enveloping you behind your bare back. The quiet doesn't bother you as you lie closer to his chest, his heartbeat the only thing you need to be at peace, "I think punishment time is over. Think you've learned your lesson"

"Then, how about we go out? I've heard Malta's beaches are pretty"

"Relájate, cariño. Seems you've gotten your energy back" he quips, then kisses your forehead. "We need to wait for everyone to get out"

"That embarrased you are of me?" you joke.

"No" he can already imagine his fellow cast members making fun of him, starting with Paul and Joseph when they see you and Connie who will totally notice the fun sticky stains on the costume, "but embarrased of the explanation I'll have to give"

[coco-loco-nut]

Hii!

Can I please ask for an angsty fic with Max, where the reader defends him from Jos after not finishing his race in Melbourne...idk if you remember when Max kept his helmet for four hours after a race because he was afraid of what Jos would have done to him after not winning...and the reader basically tells Jos to get lost even if she's like 5'4 and definitely not as intimidating as them both lol.

And then maybe after the win in Suzuka, they "reconcile" but she still reminds him to act right around her boyfriend, who's now a man and not a little boy he could pressure like he once did.

Sorry if it's too long!! Thanks for taking your time and reading my request!

Guard Dog

Pairing: Max x Reader

Summary: You are sick and tired of watching Max take Jos' shit

TW: verbal abuse

A/n: thank you soooo much for the rec, I love writing these out so much <3

requests open masterlist

----------------

"Maxie... are you okay?" you wait patiently by the door to his driver's room, careful not to barge in like Jos would, as you have for the past year since you first witnessed Jos' beratement of his son. He is sitting on the couch with his helmet between his hands. The fire causing an unpleasant start to the race, and you are just glad you got here first.

"I'm okay," his voice cracks and you step into the room, closing the door behind you. "I know it wasn't my fault, but I can't help but feel like it was my fault," Max looks in your eyes, the fire brewing behind them. You were genuinely the sweetest girl he's ever met, and to get you mad took a lot. God help you if Jos shows up, you are tired of Max feeling bad even when he podiums.

"You're right, you didn't do anything wrong, the car failed you today," you stay calm, sitting beside him and cuddling into him. Max stays quiet, enjoying your warmth, and decompressing from the start. He can understand why the fans were so happy to see him lose, in fact, if he wasn't himself, he would join them. No, the fear of his father is what has him on edge. Rightfully so, because a few seconds later the door is slammed open again.

"Max, what the hell did you-" Jos starts and you launch yourself off the couch. Jos and Max were big guys, and you were average height for a woman, 5'6 or so, but you didn't seem like it in that moment.

"Shut the hell up and leave. You have nothing useful to say and you are going to shift blame to Max who had NO fault in the DNF," you snarl, setting yourself up as a barrier between the two, Jos still in the doorway and Max on the couch.

"Girl, I don't know who you think you are, but I am Max's father, and I can-," You cut Jos off before he can continue.

"No, you aren't his father. A father doesn't talk to his son like that, you are simply a man who shares the same last name as Max. A father is someone like Carlos Sainz Sr or Lawrence Stroll. No, you are a man- sorry a boy in a man's body- who can't cope with the fact that he doesn't race anymore and wants the man who shares the same last name with him to be impossibly perfect and win every single race, even when the car breaks down." You sneer at the man. "You need to leave, before I call security and make them remove you," you don't back down, instead you step closer. Max watches in both awe and fear.

"I-"

"Leave, Jos, now. Don't make me repeat myself," you say, practically slamming the door behind him. You turn around and look at Max, seemingly calm and normal. He looks at you bewildered.

"That was the sexiest thing ever. Thank you, Schatje, you didn't have to do that," Max hugs you, a large weight off of his shoulders.

"Of course I did, who else will be your guard dog?" You smile at him, squeezing him tighter. "Now, get changed and get back to the garage," you tell Max, stepping out to the room. You let out a deep breath, surprised with how you treated Jos and stood up for Max. A couple minutes later, Max rejoins you, quickly stopping inside hospitality for a snack.

The two of you avoid Jos, going extremely low contact, not that he was trying to. Jos would never admit it, but he was embarrassed at how you spoke to him, and his retreat allowed him to ignore it. Instead, you and Max enjoyed your time together in Japan. The both of you were aware Jos was there, but chose to ignore it. After Max won, Jos warily approached the two of you.

"I wanted to congratulate you on winning. You drove well," Jos says stiffly, silently calling for a truce. You let Max take the lead on the conversation.

"Thank you," he says, feeling like a little boy again, but accepting the temporary truce.

"It was good seeing you Jos, but we need to go," you interject, sensing the still tense atmosphere. The older man, still a little scared of you despite your sweet demeanor, lets you go, not quite willing to cross you again.

"Love you, Maxie"

"Love you too, Schatje,"

[getosbigballsack]

Random thought! Rebellious boyfriend Gojo Satoru X shy nerdy reader anymore cause now reader Chan is

"I'm pregnant!"

You're eighteen years of age, and you are still a senior in high school. You only had a few more months until college entrance exams and graduation, but the choice you made to sleep with your boyfriend on the night of his birthday is how you ended up in this situation.

But how? He was wearing a condom that night and when he finally pulled out of you a few long hours of passionate sex, the condom he used still held his cum. So how and why? You probably know the answer; it must have been ripped somewhere, but you didn't want to admit that.

You're devastated, to say the least. You couldn't stop crying as you stared at the pregnancy test in your hand. What were you going to do now, keep the baby? What if your boyfriend hates you for this? How is he even going to react? How are you even going to tell him?

Well, there's only one way to find out. He was already on his way to Shoko's house after receiving a message asking him to come over as quickly as possible.

So, in a matter of minutes, he was at her house in her room sitting on the bed with you and the pregnancy test in his hand. You couldn't look at him, too afraid of what his face might look like. Too afraid of what he might say. You were just preparing for the worst-case scenario.

"Take another one, just to be sure."

That is what he said to you, shocking you, Shoko, and his best friend Geto that somehow tagged along to be a part of whatever that was about to happen.

That was the last thing that you're expecting. And honestly you were about to ask him why you need to take another pregnancy test when he already had one in his hand that clearly reads positive, but then he rested his hand open your cheek and whispered, “Please, take another just to be sure.” 

So you did, and after five minutes of waiting, the second test came back positive.

“You really are pregnant,” he said in disbelief. He tossed the test on the bed and rested his face in the palm of his hands. Reality finally hit him all at once. “Shoko, Sugu, can you leave us here for a moment? I want to talk to Y/N alone.” And they left, not without looking back at the both of you, though. 

Soon, the door closed, leaving a weeping and almost drained looking Gojo Satoru. There is a moment of silence, an uncomfortable silence that had you assuming the worst. Is he going to break up with you? Is it over? You couldn't help the thoughts that were running through your mind all at once, the anxiety you felt sitting next to him as you waited for him to say something to you. Then, finally, he spoke. 

“Y/N I…” 

“Are you going to break up with me?” You said to him, bursting into fits of tears. Gojo’s eyes grew wide, and his hand quickly slung itself around your shoulder to pull you closer. “Please don't break up with me… I didn't… I-I.” 

“Y/N, baby, calm down. Who said anything about breaking up,” Gojo said, quickly pulling you onto his lap and wrapping his other hand around your waist. You laid your head on his shoulders, tears still running down your face and soaking his shirt. 

“I… I just thought that. I mean, we aren't ready for… you didn't - I'm sorry. I'm just scared.” 

“And I'm scared too,” he admitted. “But I’m not going to break up with you. I told you haven't I that you and I are going to spend the rest of our lives together."” 

“But I messed up. I… I caused such a huge mess that is going to ruin your life and, and I- I…” 

Unable to finish your sentence, Gojo gently fisted his hand in your hair and pulled your head back a bit just to kiss your lips in hopes that it'll calm you down. It broke his heart to see you in tears over something that wasn't your fault. If anything, he should be blamed. 

He should have checked the condom for leakage when he pulled out. He should have been more prepared. After all, he has a bit more experience than you, so he knew that it only takes one time, one slip up for you to get pregnant. 

“Y/N,” he whispered your name against your lips. He gave you one last reassuring kiss then he said, “If you are looking for someone to blame, then put it all on me.” 

“But… but I can't do that to you,” you cried. 

“Yes you can, because I knew better. I should've been careful knowing that anything can happen during sexual intercourse. So if you want someone to blame…” 

“No I won't, I can't,” you quickly spoke. 

He sighed, “Alright then,” before pulling you into a warm hug. You both sat there in silence for a while, Gojo was raking through his mind, thinking about what he possibly could say next. Well, he knew what he wanted to say to you, but he didn't want his opinion to sway you away from yours. 

“What do you want to do?”

[zablife]

I'll Never Learn

Benny Cross x gf reader

Benny Cross Masterlist

Summary: Benny's always taking off without warning so Kathy advises you to break up with him and move on with your life. When he returns from his latest trip, you have a decision to make.

Warnings: physical argument (Benny would never hurt you, don't worry), angst with a fluffy ending

The evening shadows were creeping over the houses along your quiet street, reminding you another day had passed without a word from Benny. You stubbed out your cigarette before turning to face another dinner for one in front of the television. By now the familiarity of the routine had almost numbed you to the aching loneliness, but not quite.

Just when you thought you'd forgotten him, there were always little reminders of Benny somewhere, like the back of the kitchen drawer when you searched for a spatula this morning. You'd sobbed over a matchbox from the bar where you'd met Benny, fingertips lingering over the raised print as Kathy passed you the mixing bowl along with some well-meaning advice.

"I hate to say it, honey, but he's not worth it. I mean, he's out there doin' God knows what. Should be here with you once in awhile, right? With all you do for him," she shook her head, indicating toward the pots and pans.

"Find a man who's gonna treat ya right. It's the least ya deserve after puttin' up with this nonsense for a year," she said, patting your hand sympathetically.

You allowed the memory to float away with the lingering smoke, fingers closing around the edge of the front door when you heard it. The unmistakable rumble of an engine rattling the glass in the windows and the fragile heart you were trying so desperately to heal. Taking a deep breath to quell the ache in your chest, you found a flame of rage catching fire instead of the passion that you used to feel upon his return.

Whipping around to face your boyfriend, you found him at the steps, staring up at you with a sheepish grin.

"I'm home, baby," he announced softly, waiting for you to fall into his arms. Those faded baby blues trained on you in hopes of forgiveness you'd given so many times before, but this time you couldn't, the words Kathy had said hours earlier ringing in your ears.

"Benny, don't," you warned him, holding up your hand to stop him from giving whatever bullshit excuse was going to tumble from his lips next. Leaving him standing on the porch with a look of confusion creasing his brow, you stormed inside to gather your things.

His hesitation only lasted a moment before taking the stairs two at a time to run after you into the house. As his foot collided with your suitcase, his voice swelled with urgency, your name echoing off the walls. Bewildered at the sight, he uttered, "You're leavin'?"

"I can't do this anymore Benny," you informed him, hands crossed over your chest as you stared blankly at the floor.

"Do what?" he asked mindlessly, only catching on when your gaze shifted to the door. "You're mad cause I took a ride?" he asked incredulously. "Johnny asked me to--" he began defensively, but you weren't in the mood.

"While I'm here?" you shouted, the frustration building inside you as he stepped closer.

"Where else would you be, darlin'?" he asked with a nervous laugh, never having seen you like this before. He was on edge, unsure how to take this sudden turn in your behavior.

Blood now boiling after his flippant response, you looked up at him with fire in your eyes.

"I'm always here waiting for you to come back" you fumed, throwing up your hands as you added "....or not." Tears pricked the corners of your eyes, but you willed them not to fall as you explained, "I need somethin' more. I want you home from now on."

There it was, the ultimatum you'd been afraid to give before. After all, you weren't married, but if he wanted you in his life, this was how it would have to be.

Benny stood so still, you could scarcely tell if he was breathing. He blinked back at you slowly, nostrils flaring as he growled, "You can't tell a man somethin' like that. Look at Betty. She don't tell Johnny what to do!"

"Well I'm not Betty!" you retorted.

"You sure ain't," he seemed to agree, breathing out a heavy sigh as he turned away.

"You're an asshole," you seethed, pacing to the kitchen. "Kathy was right, you don't appreciate me and you never have."

Catching sight of the chocolate cake you decorated with little cherries on top, something inside you snapped.

"You don't care about anything!" Without another word, you reached for the cake plate at your elbow and threw it against the wall. Flinching as it shattered, Benny's hands grasped your shoulders to keep your arm from reaching the stack of plates next to it.

As you struggled, you fell to your knees, dangerously close to the broken shards that glistened under the fluorescent lighting. Benny pulled you up as you hissed out a warning.

"Get off me," you spat through clenched teeth, a look of fury in your eyes, but his muscular arms had already encircled you. Thrashing against him, you bucked and kicked at him, but he was too strong for you.

"Stop fightin' me," he barked, backing you away from the shattered glass to the adjacent wall. You couldn't hear anything except the sound of rushing blood in your ears and your own labored breathing as he pinned you against the peeling wallpaper. His right knee wedged between your legs and his hip dug into yours as he brought your arms above your head to immobilize you.

Your heart slammed against your ribcage, close enough for the reverberations to carry through to Benny. It was then he truly saw the pain beneath your eyes as hot, heavy tears collected along your lash line.

"Baby...baby, please, don't," he pleaded, face pinched in anguish. For a moment you thought a tear might trickle down his cheek as well.

"Is this wh-what we are now?" you asked with quivering lip. "Two people who can't even talk to each other without a fight?"

He drew in a deep breath to steady himself, head shaking softly before he could find the words to reassure you. Then his voice rumbled up from his chest in the soothing way you knew and loved.

"We're not like that and we never will be," he promised, eyes piercing into your soul with such earnestness, you ceased all movement under him.

Relinquishing the tight grasp he held on your wrists, he rocked back, allowing you to drop your hands to your sides as he cast his eyes downward.

"Kathy was right, you know, I don't deserve you," he said, voice dripping with guilt. He reached out slowly for your left hand, sliding his fingers between yours as he admitted, "You're too precious for a man like me."

"Oh, Benny," you sighed, chin tilted toward the ceiling tiles. He could be charming when he wanted to be and that had always been your downfall.

"But Kathy don't know anything about the way I love you." He murmured, stroking your cheek with the back of his hand reverently. "You mean everything to me and I'm gonna show you." His touch was so gentle, you could have closed your eyes and slumbered there in peace, forgetful of all the days before, yet something deep inside still tugged at you.

"I want to believe you, but you make it so hard sometimes," you admitted, chewing your bottom lip nervously. He tilted his head to listen carefully as you poured your heart out to him.

"You don't know what it's like to worry day and night if I'm ever gonna see you again. And I don't know if it's because you're hurt or in jail or..." you stopped to swallow the lump in your throat "or if you just don't love me anymore."

He ran a hand through your hair, large palm resting at the nape of your neck as he nodded in understanding. "M so sorry I ever made you think that."

You fidgeted with the zipper on his jacket as he said something you hadn't expected to hear. "That's over now, alright? No more."

"What did you say?" you exclaimed, eyes shooting up to meet his.

"No more takin' off. I want to be here with you. If you'll stay too?" he asked, glancing over his shoulder at your suitcase with trepidation.

Your eyes followed his to the bag, staring for a long moment as you considered your decision. However, if you were honest with yourself, you'd already made up your mind. "I'll never learn," you muttered under your breath.

"Is that a yes?" he asked hopefully, leaning into your gentle nod to steal a kiss.

[mypoisonedvine]

Part 2 to the Dads Best Friend! Cillian 🥺🥺

anon is referencing this fic but this can be read without reading that first!!

warnings: semi-public/car sex, secret relationship, fluffy smut, l-bombs, age gap, dad's best friend trope

(gif credit @nofckingfighting)

"God, I hate this," he laughed thinly, and you raised an eyebrow as you stopped moving.

"Er, jeez, not exactly what a girl wants to hear when she's riding her boyfriend," you mumbled, and he pulled you a little closer before sweetly holding your face.

"You know I don't mean that," he sighed, "I mean this-- fucking in my car."

"Really?" you smirked. "I think it's kinda hot."

"It's literally hot," he laughed, "see how you're fogging up the windows?"

"Oh, so it's my fault, then!" you noticed with a grin, wrapping your arms around his shoulders.

"Yeah," he agreed.

"Only 'cause you're making me do all the work," you accused.

"Making? No, no," he shook his head, "as I recall, you were the one who said you couldn't wait anymore, and told me to pull over somewhere so you could ride me."

"Oh, did I say that?" you feigned innocence as you flushed a bit from the memory.

"You said exactly that," he purred as he moved in to kiss your neck, "don't think I'll ever forget it." His hands found your hips and guided you to start moving again, whispering encouraging little praises into the crook of your neck: that's it, good girl, there you go...

You gasped as you picked up the pace slightly, a chill running up your back even with the aforementioned heat. "What's it you hate so much about fucking in the car, then, afraid to get caught?"

He smiled against your skin, holding you tighter. "No, fuck, that turns me on," he admitted, "I just hate it 'cause you deserve so much more, darling..."

You whimpered and held him tighter, rocking your hips faster. "Fuck," you whispered.

"You deserve a big, soft bed," he continued, "no cars or motels--"

"Or my parents' wine cellar," you reminded him.

"That was a terrible idea," he laughed softly, but it turned to a groan as he held you tighter and your walls clenched on him. "But fuck, darling, you deserve everything... no secrets, no hiding..."

You whined and arched your back. "Cill, c'mon, we can't..."

"I know," he sighed, "I know, but fuck, it's what I want. I want everyone to know. I want you in my bed every night. I want a ring on your finger--"

"Fuck!" you yelped, pushing yourself up against his shoulders. "You can't... you can't just say things like that..."

"I'm not just saying it," he insisted, grabbing your arms to keep you from moving too far away. "I told you from the beginning: if we do this, it's not just fun. You're mine."

Your face tried to muster some resistance to that, but the way you fluttered inside was obvious. He grinned and pulled you into him, hugging you tight and bucking his hips up into you until you moaned loudly.

"Fuck, I want you," he panted, "all of you. I don't give a fuck what anyone thinks-- I need you."

"Cill," you whimpered as you hid your face in his shoulder.

"I love you," he continued, and you looked at him again, staring right into his eyes to try to find any proof he was lying. "I love you," he said again, softer, and you bit your lip. How were you supposed to think while he was fucking you like this?!

"I love you too," you blurted out, and you realized that was the idea: he didn't want you to think so you'd have to be honest.

He kissed you, hungry yet sweet, and you whimpered as you realized how close you were.

"Gonna come," you warned with a gasp, "fuck-- Cill, god, I--"

"Say it again," he pleaded, barely breaking away from the kiss but still opening his eyes to look at you this close.

"I love you," you moaned out again, "fuck, I love you-- yes!"

You started to shake all over, and he held you close as he fucked you through it. "So beautiful," he praised as he watched you fall apart, desperate moans getting louder than ever as your head tilted back limply.

He pulled you closer and dropped his forehead onto your chest, groaning as he came with you-- even through the tingly numbness inside you, you could feel his cock pulsing against your walls.

You both took a long time to catch your breath, maybe both realizing the conversation that was waiting for you once you returned to reality.

"Did you really mean--?" you started to ask, but he pulled you into another kiss-- less energetic than the last, you were both drained and sweaty and glowing.

When he pulled back and held your face, you didn't need to ask the question again: he meant it, you knew he did. But that just opened up a new issue.

"What are we gonna tell my parents?" you laughed breathlessly, and he smiled back at you.

"I don't know," he admitted as he kissed your cheek, "but we'll figure it out. I just can't hide you anymore."

[creedslove]

OK HEAR ME OUT:

Imagine Pedro's characters (Joel, Javier P, Whiskey, Dave and Frankie) with (f)reader fleeing from a boring party where they only went to drink and make fun of the people they don't like and then end up fucking in the car, with the windshield foggy, the car moving hard as he fucks her in the front seat.

In the parking lot everything is off.

"Take it easy pretty girl... Nobody can see us"

"Damn, you're so hot, I could fuck this pretty cunt of yours all night long baby".

"I fucking love being yours, you make me hard everytime I see you."

"Well done pretty baby, you made such a good job... "

Girl I'm collapsing from how much I want this in my life. 🤩👹👹👹

No outbreak!Joel Miller x f!reader

A/N: omg anon, you nearly killed me with that 🫦

Joel didn't actually like your friends, he had nothing in common with them and thought most of them were all insufferable and he was convinced they all were jealous of you for some reason

this reason being a strong, tall, sexy middle aged man who wasn't afraid of hard-working or spending hours between your thighs savoring your pussy like his favorite meal

and to him there was only one thing worse than your friends: your friends’ boyfriends and husbands; he didn't get why those men had their faces buried on their phones all the time, talking about shit Joel didn't understand or care about and couldn't carry a decent conversation about sports or music

but all that didn't actually mean he wouldn't attend parties with you in order to make you happy and have some fun, even if he didn't like the people, he still enjoyed the drinks, the food and above all, you

however, as much as you both enjoyed the appetizers and the drinks, he could tell you were bored and didn't feel like being social around those people, Joel kept his hand all the time on you, whether he was holding you by the waist or just resting his hand on your thigh

eventually, he kissed and nibbled your neck which caused goosebumps all over your body and at some point you simply didn't have strength to resist Joel anymore, you wanted his touch you needed his touch and you couldn't take one extra minute of that stupid, lame party, so you quickly came up with an excuse, said your goodbyes and headed to his truck

but there's something about Joel's truck, not only about his truck, more like about Joel himself, which made you feel like you wanted to be ravished by him, and it wasn't different when you got inside

when you realized, you were already making out, seatbelts long forgotten as you kissed and groped and he took you to the backseat, your dress was already pulled down so your breasts were exposed, while the hem was all the way on your hips, panties to the side as he explored your tight wet cunt with his thick fingers

as you watched around, your heart pounding, the fear of being caught creeping up your chest was enough to make Joel chuckle and laugh softly

“Take it easy pretty girl... Nobody can see us”

he whispered into your ear, pressing you even tighter against his body

Joel's cock was hard and throbbing and he calmed down just a little the moment you gave him head, his fingers tangled in your hair as he helped you move your head up and down to help his girl be so nice for him

but he didn't want to cum into your mouth, no, he wanted more from you, so he helped you get on your hands and knees and spread your legs tight, loving to get a good sight of your dripping glistening sex all for him

“Damn, you're so hot, I could fuck this pretty cunt of yours all night long baby"

he didn't want any longer, he just got his cock and got inside of you, feeling in heaven as he could play you exactly the way he wanted

and Joel took you right there, holding you by your hips, the windows of the car all foggy from your heavy breathing and the truck shaking softly with the movement of the two of you inside

he didn't spare you any dirty comments, the obscene sounds of your moans, grunts, skin slapping skin and his rough voice all helping that familiar knot in your lower belly grow

"I fucking love being yours, you make me hard everytime I see you.”

you couldn't hold it much longer, he was teasing you and you were so ready for him, so you let go and came for Joel, your man, the same man who loved and respected you and yet fucked you on the back of his truck like some kind of a whore

but you were his little whore, you'd always be a slut for that man's cock

"Well done pretty baby, you made such a good job…”

he praised you the moment he saw the mess you'd left on him

____

[lunaandco]

anatomy studies; part two

pairing: pedri x ofc

summary: pedri and vic have been secretly dating for months. it's time to confront marc with the fact that his overprotection did not work.

taglist: @htpssgavi ; @joaosnovia

masterlist // series masterlist // i do not take requests

Vic was woken up by the sound of her phone ringing, but it was not her alarm. That was not supposed to ring until twenty minutes later. Beneath her, Pedri groaned, his arm being thrown over Vic's body.

"Mierda, my brother is calling." That seemed to wake both of them up. Dating in secret was thrilling, and pulled them closer than anything she could think of, but it was also exhausting, specially if one had such an overprotective brother as Vic's.

"Marc?"

"I called Sandra," he said. Vic cursed inwardly. She had told him she would be spending the night at her friend's house, when she was actually in bed with Pedri.

"She said you didn't sleep there." His voice was hard. "Where are you?"

"At my boyfriend's," she blurted the truth. Pedri sat up straight. They had talked about coming clean to Marc in multiple occasions and even decided that they would invite him for lunch to talk to him that same weekend, but the idiot ruined the plan.

"Who is it?"

She looked at Pedri, who nodded. Then she returned back to the call.

"Pedri."

The line went dead.

"Mierda."

💙❤️

"You better start explaining yourself," threatened Marc once Pedri arrived to the locker room. He had just dropped Vic at her faculty, and was now forced to meet his very pissed brother in law, who just happened to be his coworker.

"He means well," Vic had explained, at the beginning of their relationship. "When we were twelve, my first boyfriend was one of Marc's teammates. He broke my heart and called me a whore for breaking bro code or something stupid like that. Marc has tried to keep me safe from footballing idiots ever since, even if it means keeping me away from prince charming"

Pedri was not that patient.

"I love your sister," he said. "Vic is the best thing that's ever happened to me. I don't know what else you want me to explain."

"Why you didn't tell me would be great." Marc reste dhis hands on his hips.

"Because you would have made the scene you're making right now," Pedri sighed tiredly. "We wanted to explore our relationship in our own terms without anybody helicopter parenting us." He grabbed his phone, showing Marc a screenshot of their reservation. "We were going to tell you this week, see?"

Marc was going to say soemthing else, but Flick interrupted them. Marc might have been angry, but not even him wanted to face a pissed off German coach.

By the end of the training session, Pedri texted Vic and told he to wait for him at her house, that he would go back with Marc, so they coud talk peacfully and hopefully fix things.

Pedri followed Marc's car to the adress where verything had started, with Pedri fully naked and posing for Vic. He had played model in numerous occasions ever since, but he was not afraid of getting a boner anymore. He actually encouraged it, since Vic liked to finish off the sessions with a little thank you gift.

Not that they would tell her brother any of that.

"What are your intentions with my sister?" asked Marc once they were all sitting in the living room, Vic so close to Pedri she might as well be on his lap.

"Marry her, eventually," blurted Pedri. He and Vic had not discussed marriage yet, but guiltily, Pedri already had his eyes on the perfect ring.

Marc clenched his jaw.

"You won't hurt her?"

"I'd rather join Real Madrid than hurt Vic," he replied with a straight face. It was a serious statement, for a culer.

"Do you want him, Vic?"

"More than anything."

"Does he treat you well?"

She looked up at his boyfriend, who was blushing a little.

"Like a princess."

"If I hear you caused her, even a tiny paper cut..."

"Enough, Marc," snapped Vic, pushing one of her pigtail barid behind her. "i'm going to be with Pedri whether you like it or not." She said succintly. "So, do your threats or whatever, but get on with the plan. It's not gonna change for you. I can decide who to date or not on my own, alright?"

"I..."

"I've allowed you to be that overprotective for so long because I never cared about the guys you were pushing away, but if you even try to push Pedri away I will fight you back," she threatened.

Marc's shoulders dropped.

"You're right." He admitted in a low tone. "I might have gotten a little bit carrid away."

"You did. but it's okay." Vic smiled squeezing her brother's hand. "Now, if you don't mind, I'm going to my room to make out with my boyfriend until Mum gets home."

"Hey!"

[lotus02lavish]

some angst of breakup Headcanons with SWK, MK and Mayor from LMK? GN Reader btw. i just need some angst.

[Pain shall be fed into the beating heart] 💥

【If we ever broke up, I'd be sad. 💔】

{Sun Wukong, Mk, and Mayor breakup with GN! Reader}

➳ Lego Monkie kid (LMK) // Headcanons // Seperated // Angst! ✍🏻

──･ ｡ﾟ☆*. .* ☆ﾟ.──･☆ﾟ.──･｡ﾟ☆ *. .* ──

"You can love them, forgive them, want good things for them ... but still move on without them." - Mandy Hale.

Sun Wukong

The realization about a mortal human being and the immortal monkey king put into a loving relationship would not work.

Sun Wukong could give you his peaches of immortality to accompany him until the end of time. Except the horror that if you live forever, everyone and everything around you will move on. Somethings will die and forgotten without you. No peaches for you, hun.

Sun Wukong does not allowed to let anyone notice you as his lover, he just want to protect you from anyone that cause harm. Which makes you believe he is embarrassed to have you.

Sun Wukong is lacking the ability to explain of how he truly feeling towards you. From time to time again to have communication problems and abuse that cannot be solved.

In Sun Wukong's opinion, love is just another useless emotion to express that lead to heartbreak and disappointment. He is not ready to handle any of those qualities.

In conclusion, Sun Wukong is unexpectedly certain to break up with you, just to save you from himself. He is arrogant and a trickster is known to everyone who has heard of or had the chance to meet the legendary Monkey King.

"Eternal life can bring eternal suffering, I don't want you to feel the same way as me."

The fact that Sun Wukong has said his goodbyes to you and gone from your sight, the good thing is glad to know that you have great life and bright future ahead from destiny than his. The bad thing is, he will miss you deeply more than you ever know.

────･ ｡ﾟ☆*. .* ☆ﾟ.──･☆ﾟ.──･｡ﾟ☆ *. .* ──

"Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together." - Marilyn Monroe.

MK

At first, Mk does not understand why you would choose someone like him to be your boyfriend, and he felt that not asking about it was better. He always thinking that he does not deserve your love.

Mk ponders about you cherish them because they are a powerful hero, and everything else within them has no importance. That is why the noodle boy worried that one day they would accidentally use their unnatural monkey magic skills to hurting you, and afraid they might fail to save you from danger.

Mk is often excusing himself with his training, delivering noodles, saving the world/universe, and joining his friends to avoid you.

Mk repeatedly forgets the important events, such as your birthday, the dating anniversary day, the national holidays, and meeting with your friends or family. Heis busy to handle with the fate of being heroic rest on his shoulders, and gaining more trauma through the rest of his journey.

One time, Mk send one of their clone to accompany you in the entire day. Later, the copy of them bluntly told you that they (Original self) actually felt forced in love and does not feel the same way as you anymore.

You have grown tired of him and finally choose to breakup for the best, which Mk had expected and planned this all along.

"I'm very sorry! You deserve someone else better than me."

Though still feeling awkward, you and Mk agree to became friends once again. Furthermore, both of you always ignoring the questions of "That's your ex?"

──･ ｡ﾟ☆*. .* ☆ﾟ.──･☆ﾟ.──･｡ﾟ☆ *. .* ──

"Sometimes the only way to let go is to love someone enough to want the best for him or her, even if that means not being together." - Anonymous

The Mayor

After years of dating, there is nothing special happening between the two of you. No happiness and no pleasure, just empty.

Oh, how unfortunate you do not know so much about him, even his real name is remain unknown. The Mayor is most likely to kept horrifying secrets and plans to himself from you.

Sadly, whenever the Mayor is near you, he did not have a smile on his face. Only emotionless can be seen in your eyes. Revealing his true colors.

The Mayor would rather focus on granting his Lady's requests than to spend all of his time with you.

It is a ridiculous suspicion that the Mayor is cheating on you simply because he worships The Lady Bone Demon as his only goddess until the bitter end.

At long last, you decided to breakup with the cold-hearted and odd man, his response is none other than a giggle and does not mind.

"You see, dear?" Mayor spoke up as he turn around, "letting someone go is actually easier than we thought."

At that exact moment, the Mayor show his silly toothy smile to you for one last time before he disappeared. Leaving you heartbroken and wish him for the best to accomplish his duty.

──･ ｡ﾟ☆*. .* ☆ﾟ.──･☆ﾟ.──･｡ﾟ☆ *. .* ──

True Colors - SLAVES

"Wait, did you ever take a moment just to think

About anyone, anyone other than yourself?!

Give me back the love I wasted now

Cold, one day it's gonna hit you, you're alone

I won't be there, won't be there

It's cruel to turn around

Give me back the love I wasted now."

[skyeeuphixia]

𝚕𝚒𝚙 𝚐𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚊𝚐𝚑𝚎𝚛 // 𝚒 𝚍𝚘𝚗'𝚝 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚍𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚔

lip gallagher x girlfriend oc (Delilah)

summary: in which lip is given an ultimatum

▪️ ▪️ • ▪️ • ▪️ • ▪️ ○ ○ ▪️ • ▪️ • ▪️ • ▪️ ▪️

warning/s: alcoholism, violence

words: 3.4k

▪️ ▪️ • ▪️ • ▪️ • ▪️ ○ ○ ▪️ • ▪️ • ▪️ • ▪️ ▪️

"I don't like it when you're drunk Lip. Find me when you're not."

That was the last thing that Delilah said before leaving the Gallagher house. 

Lip stayed glued to his spot as he stared after his girlfriend, his eyes filled with nothing but regret. He couldn't turn around. He couldn't face his siblings, or Kev or V, all of them stood behind him. 

He didn't want to see Veronica judging him. He didn't want to see Kevin looking shocked. He didn't want to see Debbie sad. He didn't want to see Carl and Ian angry. 

But most of all...

He didn't want to see Fiona look disappointed in him. 

2 years ago, when Lip asked Delilah out on a date. Fiona gave him one piece of advice:

'Don't fuck this up, cause that girl is special'

But now he's afraid he had done just that. 

How did he let himself get to this point? 

▪️ • ▪️ • ▪️ • ▪️ 

After building up this reputation of being the family genius, it was a real smack in the face when he got to college and realised how difficult it was. Suddenly he wasn't a genius surrounded by stupid and average students anymore, now, everyone was smart, smarter than Lip, and he found himself unable to keep up.

College wasn't as easy as Lip believed it would be.

Lip excelled in school, acing every class, scores so high and consistent that a college professor believed he was a cheat (which Lip swiftly disproved) and the first Gallagher to get into college. 

Not to mention, he didn't realise that College would take up a lot of his free time as well. Sure in high school he'd get homework, but it would take about 30 minutes, and then he'd get the rest of the day to himself. But college was an entirely different story. He was drowning in assignments, a never-ending stream of readings, essays, and exams. He barely had time to sleep. Trying to balance; College, Family issues, assignments, a relationship and taking care of his basic needs were proving difficult to manage. And it was beginning to take a toll on him. He was almost never able to relax.

But the occasional drink did seem to help, however.

"Hey, so I was thinking-" Delilah says, walking alongside Lip in the direction of his class, Delilah went to the same college as Lip, unfortunately, their classes were at different times, so their schedules rarely lined up, they stayed in different dorm buildings and those dorm buildings were at opposite ends of the large campus.

"-after my class, either I can go to your dorm, you can come to mine or we can go to the library or something and do some studying together. Cause I have an essay to do, and you have that essay due tomorrow which you'll probably want to go over, and we can help each other out," she suggested with a smile.

"Yeah uh, I can't I'm going to that party tonight," Lip says his hands in the pockets of his jacket, looking down at his feet as he walks.

"The frat party? But you hate people like that," Delilah remarked, a puzzled expression on her face.

"Yeah, but, it might be fun. Plus, free booze is a good way to forget about all the jerks," he chuckled.

"But what about the essay?"

"Don't worry about it, Del," Lip replied nonchalantly.

Delilah stops walking, tilting her head as she looks at her boyfriend, analysing him intensely. Lip takes a few moments to realise that she's no longer beside him, he turns to look at her but she speaks before he has a chance to question her.

"Have you even started the essay?!"

"Yeah, yeah of course I have," He excuses, looking back down at his feet. Delilah walks back up to him, standing directly in front of him.

"Look at me," She says, still staring at him intensely, causing Lip to reluctantly raise his head to look at her. "Have you started the essay?" 

Lip had one weakness and that was Deliah. Delilah seemed to be the one person he could not lie to. He didn't want to say it out loud, she already knew the answer, he could tell, so he simply shook his head at her. 

Delilah looked at him with an indescribable look of shock, disappointment and disbelief, "Lip it's due tomorrow! This isn't like homework, this will affect your grade!"

"Yeah I know, but I'll...I'll get it done I swear!" Lip promises.

"So you're not gonna go to the party?"

"Nah I'm still gonna go I promised my roommate but I'll just do it when I get back,"

"Lip...this really isn't a smart idea, please just come study with me," Delilah begged, she already knew his grade was currently at a D, and she was worried that missing this essay would be the beginning of the end. 

"Del...I'll, I'll just go for like an hour, and I won't drink and I will go straight to my dorm and do the essay," He tells her, looking at her genuinely. 

Delilah looked at him with a look he couldn't quite describe, but it was the look she gave him when he initially doubted going to college and the look she gave him when he briefly dropped out of high school. It was the type of look that said 'I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed.'

"Promise?" She asked, holding out her pinky to him, causing Lip to chuckle at the gesture.

"I promise," He locked his finger with hers, and they continued walking toward Lip's class, sharing a small smile, their words no longer necessary.

▪️ • ▪️ • ▪️ • ▪️ 

No drinks turned into one drink.

One turned into two.

Two into four.

Four into seven, until Lip woke up in his dorm the next day with no memory of how he got there. A quick look at the clock indicated to him that it was two in the afternoon. Not only had he not done the essay, he hadn't even shown up to his lesson. 

Lip just lay in bed staring at the ceiling, wallowing in his own self-pity before there was a knock at the door. Somehow, in his severely hungover state, Lip got himself to the door, opening it to reveal Delilah, whom he let in without question. 

"Hey, Emma mentioned her boyfriend told her you didn't show up today, you ok?" Delilah inquired, her concern evident as she stood in the middle of the dimly lit room.

Lip, battling nausea, managed to mumble, "Yeah, just uh...not feeling great today." 

Delilah, however, was beginning to notice the telltale signs – Lip was wearing the same clothes as the previous day, avoiding the light streaming through the window, and his breath reeked of alcohol. The pieces fell into place. "Are you hungover?"

Lip, still battling the pounding headache and the queasy feeling in his stomach, attempted to conjure up an excuse, but Delilah's perceptive gaze left him feeling exposed. He scratched the back of his head nervously. He shifted uncomfortably under Delilah's gaze, his attempt at avoiding eye contact was now more conspicuous than ever. He cleared his throat and mumbled, "Hungover? Nah, it's not that... I just had a rough night's sleep, you know?"

Delilah's expression remained sceptical. She was no stranger to Lip's occasional indulgence in alcohol, and she was also aware of how alcohol affected his family so she knew all too well what could happen if he overdid it. Her concern deepened as she approached him, placing a hand gently on his arm. 

"Lip, you're wearing the same clothes as yesterday, and you look like you haven't seen daylight in a while. And why does your breath smell like a distillery if it's not a hangover?"

Lip sighed, realizing that he couldn't keep up the charade any longer. He looked down at the floor, feeling ashamed. "Okay, fine," he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. "I had a few drinks last night, and then a few more, and... I messed up, Delilah."

"Lip, you promised me you wouldn't drink, especially not on a school night. I trusted you. And what about that essay you were supposed to finish?"

Lip's guilt was written all over his face as he tried to avoid the confrontation. "Look, Delilah, I know I messed up, but it was just one night, you know? I didn't think I'd end up like this."

"Lip you're not in high school anymore. You can't do this. If you keep making mistakes, if your grades continue to slip, you'll get expelled and then what? Love, you have so much potential, you can do so much with your life, why are you wasting it?"

Lip finally met her gaze, and he could see the disappointment in her eyes. "Delilah, I promise, this was a one-time thing I won't let it become a problem. I messed up, and I'm really sorry. I'll work harder, I'll catch up on the essay, and I won't let this happen again."

Delilah looked at her boyfriend, she didn't know how to feel. She wanted to believe him, and part of her did, but part of her was screaming at her not to believe him, part of her believed Lip was already in too deep, but Lip was as stubborn as they come as if he would ever admit he needed help.

"ok...I'm choosing to trust you,"

▪️ • ▪️ • ▪️ • ▪️ 

As the days passed, Lip's descent into a pattern reminiscent of his father became increasingly apparent. The vibrancy that once characterized him began to fade, replaced by a weariness that settled in his eyes. His dishevelled appearance mirrored the neglect of his responsibilities, and the promise he made to Delilah seemed to be slipping through his fingers.

His academic life suffered the most. Lip was back to his high school ways, and started missing classes regularly. The threat of expulsion from his professors became a persistent shadow, hovering over his academic career. Lip's disregard for his education mirrored the same lack of concern that had marked his father's life.

Alcohol, once an occasional escape, became a daily crutch. It wasn't just about relaxation anymore; it was a way to numb the growing dissatisfaction and disappointment within him. The scent of alcohol clung to him like a familiar companion, and the lines on his face deepened as the weight of his choices pressed down.

Delilah, consumed by her exams and unaware of Lip's unravelling, found herself distanced from the person she once knew. Their interactions became infrequent, and Lip's excuses for his absence grew thin. She knew something was wrong, but she was busy and was never able to find a time to meet him, and over text, it's hard to tell what state someone's in, so Lip was able to perfectly mask his drinking through the protection of a screen. The promise of love and support now seemed like a distant memory.

The similarities to Lip's father became more pronounced. The cycle of self-destructive behaviour, a pattern Lip had sworn to break, now threatened to consume him. The downward spiral was not just about missed classes and too many drinks; it was a reflection of a deeper struggle within Lip—a battle between the person he aspired to be and the shadow of his father that loomed over him. But every day he still told himself the same thing.

I'm not my fucking dad. 

When the next break in the college term came, he returned home to his siblings, which was both nostalgic and haunting, as he realised how much he loved it yet didn't want to be stuck there. And how did he handle those haunting thoughts? By drinking of course. 

The Gallagher siblings noticed this of course, but they wrote it off as Lip destressing after a long college term, after all, they didn't know this was an everyday occurrence for him. He's lip! He's supposed to get out, he's supposed to be ok! He's fine!

And for the first few days he was, he was able to fall under the radar as his siblings dealt with the usual Gallagher chaos and was currently drinking a beer on the couch as his siblings did their own things around him. Yet he had forgotten something, in a drunken haze a few nights previous, he had invited Delilah over, reality was about to smack him in the face, and he had no idea.

When he answered the door and saw Delilah, he felt his mind running at a million miles an hour. He didn't know why she was there. What she wanted. If she could tell he was drunk. His mind was both blank and full of thoughts at the same time, and the sudden shock of his girlfriend being stood in front of him, made all the guilt he had been drinking away come back.

"Del! Hey...uh what are you...what are you doing here?"

"You invited me? You don't remember?" She chuckles.

"Sorry sorry, things have just been uh, crazy you know how it is here, come on in." He says, stepping to the side to let her in. 

Delilah offered a faint smile as she stepped into the chaotic Gallagher household, where the usual mayhem of the family's daily existence continued unabated. Ian was nowhere to be seen. Frank, was ranting about some new get-rich-quick scheme in the corner to Kevin. Fiona and Veronica were cackling about the events of their last night out. And Debbie and Carl were arguing about something stupid. Lip's siblings had become accustomed to the chaos, and so the presence of his girlfriend had gone unnoticed.

"I tried to call and check it was still okay for me to come over but you didn't pick up, I thought I'd come anyway though...I've missed you"

Lip's heart sank at the sincerity in her voice. He had no idea how to explain the disarray of his life to her, especially now that she was standing right in the middle of it. His attempt to mask the smell of alcohol on his breath with a forced smile was feeble at best.

"Missed you too, babe," he mumbled, his words slightly slurred. "Sorry, it's just a bit chaotic here, you know how it is."

Delilah nodded, seemingly understanding, but there was a flicker of concern in her eyes. She had always been perceptive, and something about how Lip was acting didn't sit right with her. Delilah finally at Lip more closely, her brow furrowing. "You seem...off, Lip. Is everything okay?"

Lip tried to laugh it off, but it came out as a nervous chuckle. "Yeah, just... you know, dealing with the Gallagher circus. It's uh...it's been a long day."

Delilah wasn't convinced, but she let it slide for the moment. However, as she continued to talk to Lip, the pieces of the puzzle were slowly coming together. Lip's slurred words, the distant look in his eyes, and the fact that he was clearly trying to hide something were all red flags. Delilah notices the two empty beer bottles on the coffee table in front of the couch, the one place nowhere else was and the final piece slides into place. "You're drunk again...aren't you?" 

Lip's eyes darted around the room, desperately searching for a convincing response. "Drunk? No way, Del. I mean, yeah, I had a couple earlier, but it's nothing. Just needed to unwind, you know?"

Delilah's concern deepened, and a mixture of disappointment and hurt flashed across her face. "Lip, we talked about this. You promised me you wouldn't let alcohol become a problem again. What's going on?"

Lip could feel the weight of his broken promises pressing down on him, and he struggled to find the right words. "It's not a problem, Del. Just a couple of drinks. I've got everything under control."

"Don't lie to her," Ian's voice suddenly came from the stairs, in a tone so cold so...displeased, it caught the attention of everyone in the room.

"What do you know Ian?" Lip slurred slightly, becoming slightly agitated as all the attention in the room was now on him, there was no hiding from the truth now, and Lip knew it. 

"What do I know? I know that since you've been home you've drank up to 5 beers a day, some days more. I know that it's clearly a problem if you're lying to Delilah about it. I also know that you've missed almost all your classes and you're on the brink of being kicked out of college!" 

Everyone in the room stared at Lip a few people letting out a shocked 'what?!', except for Delilah who just looked hurt, she trusted him...and he broke it.

"How do you fucking know that?" Lip slurred, pissed off that his issues were being exposed. 

"You left your email on your laptop open," 

"You had no fucking right-" 

"Ok! Lip this is not the right time for this, if there's a problem we can talk but right now let's just leave it," Delilah says sweetly, almost as if she was talking to someone younger than her as she places a gentle hand on his shoulder, which Lip only shrugs off.

Lip's anger flared, fueled by the alcohol coursing through his veins. "You had no right to snoop around my stuff, Ian! This is my life, my business, and I don't need you or anyone else judging me!"

Ian's expression remained unyielding, his concern masking any irritation he might have felt. "Lip, this is everyone's business when it's affecting you like this. We're your family, and we care about you. We don't want to see you self-destruct."

Lip's voice grew louder as he tried to defend his actions, his words slurring together. "Self-destruct? I'm fine! I can handle a few drinks, and missing a few classes is not a big deal. College is overrated anyway."

The room seemed to grow tense as Lip's rant continued. Fiona, his older sister, exchanged worried glances with Ian. Delilah, however, remained remarkably composed in the face of his anger. "Lip, I'm not here to judge you. I'm here because I care about you. But you can't deny that something's not right. We can work through this together, but you have to be willing to admit that there's a problem."

Lip's frustration only mounted as he felt cornered. He shook his head, a bitter laugh escaping his lips. "You're all overreacting. I don't have a problem. I can stop whenever I want. You all don't get it," he ranted, his voice rising. "I can handle my shit. I'm not like Frank. I'm not some fucking alcoholic!"

Delilah could see that Ian was also starting to get heated, and she was worried that he and Lip would begin to get physical and fight one another. She knew Lip's defences were up, she knew he felt judged, intimidated, and guilty, and having everyone there was making things worse for Lip, not better. 

"Ok, maybe this isn't a conversation we should be having with so many people," She chuckled nervously her voice still gentle, She moved closer to Lip, trying to defuse the tension. "Love, let's just go outside, and we can-"

But when Delilah's hand touched Lip's shoulder, he reacted with more force than he intended, shoving her away, unintentionally causing her to hit the wall. The room fell silent, and everyone took a defensive step closer, their faces reflecting shock and anger.

Lip stared at Delilah, his eyes widened with regret, realizing he had acted impulsively. Delilah, after a moment of anger, looked down, composing herself. She glanced up at him, restraining her tears.

"I don't like it when you're drunk Lip. Find me when you're not." Her voice quivered slightly before she swiftly made her way out of the Gallagher house. 

Lip stayed glued to his spot as he stared after his girlfriend, his eyes filled with nothing but regret and tears. He couldn't face his siblings, or Kev or V. He didn't want to see the judgment. He didn't want to see the shock. He didn't want to see the sadness. He didn't want to see the anger.

But most of all he didn't want to see the disappointment. 

It took a few moments, but he turned around to face them, his body trembling slightly, as a few tears escaped his eyes, the Gallaghers distraught at the sight of their broken brother.

"W...why did that happen?"

▪️ • ▪️ • ▪️ • ▪️ 

(fin)

[thecensusbureau]

"-I can't let you have these things because they're not safe for you to handle without someone watching over you. You'll be safe here, just call me or Papa if you don't feel like it, okay?"

Cucurucho then kisses Asha's forehead, standing up from where they were kneeling to be within her height range. They ruffle her hair with a parting pat as they move towards the door leading to the office shortcuts.

"I won't be long, okay? Just a short moment to talk to Dad, and I'm coming back home after."

They wait for their daughter to pipe out an "okay," with a nod before stepping onto a warp plate into their office. Cucurucho sighs. It's been a good while since they were even here. A month or two, they guess judging by the light dust that has settled over their monitors and desk. At least their workers keep their plants alive.

After adjusting their casual and appropiate enough clothing in the full-body mirror and getting rather nostalgic over their barely used workspace, Cucurucho steps out the door to begin their nervous wreck of a trip up towards the main higher-up office. The floor itself doesn't scare it anymore, her boyfriend being there lessens the memories a little bit, but it still hurts to even remember the dread of simply just arriving. Their workers being around also helps.

Several notice its prescence as it takes the long way up and converse in small talk and greetings with an overall message of being missed around the building. Some even accompany Osito on the elevator ride and as it walks off to the private sectors.

Right as her paw lifts from the scanner, familiar silence and darkness hits Cucurucho with unease as they continue on their walk. This floor used to just be dark, with living and breathing, non-fur over metal, employees that bustled around them as they'd make their way onto the second elevator to take them all the way up to the most isolated floor of them all. The cold empty breeze hits them again.

It's silent, and dim, and horrible, and overwhelming, and they just can't feel like they can even ever breathe. The feeling of metaphorical lungs restrict the air coming from their snout, and Cucurucho clings onto the wall behind it and painfully breathes. False raising and lowering of their chest as they gasp and gulp for air they simply do not need, with unneeded tears reflexibly springing to their eyes.

Why now, why bother? You're so close, you can see his door a few feet across from you. Why are you afraid? Why are you panicking? You're alone, and you're making another fool of yourself where you believe you're being watched and yet there are no eyes on you at all.

Osito inhales deeply, and walks forward.

At the door, their paw instinctively raises up to knock while their body tenses like it has months ago. But they're safe, they're fine, because when they give a knock, a warm face greets them instead. They don't have to hide here.

"Holy shit, you scared me." Jeremy admits, his hand over his chest. "I mean I knew it was you, 'c-cause of the knock, but I just- wasn't expecting that you'd visit. Come in, come in!"

He pulls them inside, arms immediately folding over their fat and hands worming underneath their shirt to squish the fur on their back. Their partner sighs deeply, burying his face in their body like a dog that missed its owner. Cucurucho doesn't mind though. They chuckle, smiling to themself, as they shut the door and indulge in the hug. "Miss me that much?"

"Mmh. You know me. I barely see you at all lately... work and all." He hums. His hands moving feel like unintelligable shapes on their back. "Let me just... be here for a second, and you can... tell me what you're here for." It nods, admittedly enjoying the attention that it selfishly missed.

Cucurucho absentmindedly moves its paw over to brush his hair, gnawing its synthetic cheek as it thinks over its words. "Well, funny enough, I'm actually here about... work." Jeremy looks up enough that it catches Cucurucho off guard to choke. "Ah- About my work, specifically. If it's not too much trouble, if you'd let me back in the office?"

He raises his brow almost amused that they'd even consider such a thing.

"Oh, you don't need to do such a thing, love." Jeremy starts with his hands now moving to the sides of its head, its cheeks squish and rub in a comforting pattern. Cucurucho almost yields by instinct.

"I don't want you to come back and like, I don't know, have the mindset that I'm your boss around here while being my partner at home." He shrugs, "I think it'd be less stressful for you if you just don't clock in at all."

"Plus with Asha around, you'd be juggling a lot of work, and I just don't want to inflict that kind of stress upon you."

That's sweet, for sure. And she gets it, Osito understands that he means well by this. He knows how they get around the office, their past with the higher-ups, and struggles with work in general. He knows that they don't want to go through that again, and they love him for that. But it's different this time. It's different because he's here. It's because he's in charge, and he knows them like the back of his hand.

So why does it feel really... bad? That he's trying to protect them, that he's not hiding the fact he doesn't want them to relapse into their vulnerability at the Federation. That he doesn't want them hurt again.

"I... understand that, however, honey, I just..." Cucurucho's voice strains. How do they tell him that they need to work again just for an important meeting? Just so they don't feel useless? It's selfish.

"I-I really need to come back. It's important. A-And for the Board of... Directors... meeting." They mutter.

"That... group of higher-ups that-that hurt me, and promoted me, and berated you for it?" Jeremy says incredously. "I- Rucho, I don't want you to come back if it's just to impress them. I don't want you working just because you were pressured into it, that's fucked!"

Cucurucho opens their mouth to argue, but he's right. They shake their head. "I-I know that, but I just don't want to show up—"

"No, no no... I- We'll just have the Bureau go instead." He shakes his own head, pushing back against them now. "I'm sure we'll find an alternative or something, Osito. I just don't want you to go through that again."

"I'll find some way to manage without you, okay?"

And something breaks inside of them. Like glass shattering and its pieces piercing onto their fake skin for them to bleed out as if it didn't hurt. Such meaningless words hurting a robot who had just learned how to feel fully. For the first time in its mechanical life, the lights in their eyes dim as they struggle to even process what their Duckling is saying to them.

He's bringing their head down to kiss their cheek, and all they could think about is if he had already managed without them anyway. He's smiling, and they find themself smiling back nervously.

They feel faint.

"Hey, cheer up, baby. It's not that bad." Jeremy jokes, unaware of the amount of dread his girlfriend is experiencing right in front of him. He squishes their cheeks like a pet in an attempt to cheer them up. "At least you're not in boring meetings all the time, heh." Cucurucho wants to bash their head in.

"...Right."

Their shoulders get patted, and as Jeremy steps back, they slouch. He sighs, brows furrowing with a concerned smile. "I'm sorry, if I like... disappointed you. I just don't want you hurt again for something- avoidable and stupid." He shakes his head, wryly chuckling to himself. "I love you, you know that right?"

"I... Yes, yes I do." Rucho weakly agrees, giving him a dry giggle. They sounded unconvincing, but he believed them.

It's still the truth, regardless.

"I'll see you at dinner, don't try to set the kitchen on fire again." Jeremy teases, sticking his tongue out at it with Osito instinctively doing the same. It giggles, light temporarily setting back in its mood. "I'll try. I um... I'll see you later, sugar." "See you."

He steps back forward and gives them one last squeeze, stepping away with a tip toed kiss that leaves Rucho tasting coffee and him tasting sweets.

When they both turn away, Pato going back to his work, and Cucurucho going behind the door, it presses its back against the frame with its paw holding against its mouth. They know he won't hear anything, it's soundproof from the inside and out, so they know he wouldn't hear them trying not to fall apart immediately. Heaving for no reason, holding back false tears, and trying to calm down.

Osito hiccups.

There's no real reason why they're crying, or even threathening their pristine white fur to get ruined by black sludge of its tears. There should be though, they weren't hurt, they were, in fact, being saved from being hurt in the future.

Shouldn't they be happy? Shouldn't they feel good about this?

They don't know.

Cucurucho takes the long way back again, wiping their eyes and plastering their well-known and well-practiced smile back on. Nobody takes a second to doubt it. Not even Asha, who darted to clutch their leg the moment they entered into the house again.

Osito takes a second to recover, when Asha gets tucked out curled up next to them, and calms itself down. There's no reason to be ungrateful. It'll be okay. So it shuts its eyes, takes an unneeded breath, and stares ahead.

Focus on Home.

It's where you belong.

[kushanna]

i'm hurting too, who's gonna take responsibility for my wounds... sooo sad, sooo messed up... also the "i love maria, i have my own way of loving her"... sooo sad, sooo messed up... rosa number #2 in the ranking of umi characters who make me very sad

overthinking™ moment: i do believe she's tired and fed up and hurt but, first of all, why are you trying to hide the fact that you're tired, want a vacation and have a boyfriend? are you afraid of being mocked? i could think of seven healthy solutions for this issue on the spot (...a nanny perhaps?), but the most blatant thing to me is that it's stuff like this that puts into perspective how much the ushiromiyas, individually, yes, but collective, as a group, suck. there's no support system at all in place here (it feels hilarious just saying this, i'm laughing), not using rosa's status as a single mother as munition against her really is the barest of the barest minimum, the bar IS on the ground and it never raises an inch cause it's so scary and sad how rosa is a very, very single, hurt, violent and neglectful mother making the worst decisions of her and her daughter's life and no one bats an eye, god bless... again, are you afraid of being mocked? very much a "it really didn't have to be like this" type of situation, as is every time we dig into any of the ushiromiya's private lives

hm on a good note and completely changing the subject (i am now speaking of witches and magic and game boards) i do think i have a bigger understanding of all of this now, not in the sense that i have any answers but in that, for example, i used to be very caught up in the idea that i had to figure out what was "real" and what was "not real" in order to comprehend and solve "the mystery (which one?? it's a different one every time!)" but now i don't even conceptualize things like this anymore, it doesn't even make sense to do so at this point. i do have a bigger comprehension i think of how i'm supposed to tackle and work with the information that's given to me... the voices of the internet were right and the path does gets clearer as it progresses... AND it's been fun, which i think is the most important thing, and it's more fun now than it was two episodes ago when i didn't know what i was doing

[vodkacranberrywitch]

Jonah and Halle + Jonah's Girlfriend Reading

Jonah & Halle - Jonah sees Halle as someone that could be a potential partner with the King of Cups. This is a card that surpasses a crush. He feels devoted to her or appreciative of her. Halle sees Jonah as the hermit. This is very passive energy. She may like him, but she hasn't even considered pursuing it. In a way, this is like a friend zone card. But don't let me speak too fast, because the energy between them is ace of cups. New beginnings? They want to take their relationship to the next step or add a new element to it. There is an emotional connection hanging between them.

Does Jonah have feelings for Halle - 7 of cups rx + the devil. This isn't a strong yes or no. He's confused about his feelings. With the King of Cups as how he feels towards her, he is definitely emotionally and physically attracted to her, however, he is trying to figure out if his feelings are real. He might feel like he needs time to determine if this is a phase. With the devil clarifying, he might have seen a side of her she usually keeps hidden or vice versa and they connected off of that. I don't want to say trauma bond, but it's possible some serious stuff was revealed to each other.

Does Halle have feelings for Jonah - the Emperor. Yes, this is the perfect counterpart card. She sees him as someone who would be a great boyfriend. Interesting, considering it looks like she friend zoned him.

What did Jonah and Halle bond over/ the devil energy - 10 of swords reversed + page of cups rx, 8 of pentacles. They bonded over a breakup. This breakup caused a lot of pain and they got through it together. They leaned on each other. I think that one or both went to each other a lot whenever they needed advice as well.

Why did Halle friend zone Jonah - She's trying to protect herself from being disappointed. She feels like if she pursues this, something is going to cause it to be destroyed so why even try. There is something discouraging her from pursuing this.

Has Jonah approached Halle about dating - 6 of swords. No, he hasn't asked her about dating, but he is open to it. He feels like doing this will cause a lot of chaos.

Pt.2

I just did some research and found out that Jonah has a girlfriend named Ellie so I'm going to look into that. Also, I read somewhere that Halle was the reason Jonah got the role? That might contribute to his feelings of devotion to her.

Anyways, What is the energy between Jonah and Ellie - The energy between these two is very weak. Jonah isn't putting any energy into this relationship. His energy is lazy. He might be working too much and neglecting this relationship. Ellie is attracted to him physically right now. The magician isn't a romantic or platonic feeling. She may be trying to acquire something through their relationship. The energy between them is 2 of swords. They feel like they have fallen into a routine. The relationship isn't exciting anymore.

Is Jonah going to break up with Ellie - Justice rx + 2 of wands, judgment rx. Woah. He's weighing on this and hasn't made a decision. He is afraid to commit to her and he doesn't see her in his future.

That's all I'm going to say and those two because this is a Halle and Jonah reading.

What is this ace of cups energy between them/ The new beginning - the devil + the moon rx. They're going to start sleeping together. The devil is lustful energy; a guilty pleasure. The moon rx is fantasies, instability, and putting something on the shelf. They are going to fulfill each other physically but the emotions are going to be ignored/ put on the shelf. There might be jealousy and possessiveness involved. The feelings are going to be intense because it is lacking the stability that comes with a label.

What is the outcome of this ace of cups energy - Hierophant rx. No commitment. As of the near future, this is going to be unconventional.

Is this going to end positively - Wheel of fortune. This isn't a strong yes or no. They may feel as though they were fated to meet. There will be a lot of opportunities for these two to have a positive ending, whether together or not.

This was a long one and it took me two days of revising to get a clear message. The energy around them is evolving currently so I might do them again in a month.

Thank you for reading! Let me know if you have any questions.

These readings are alleged and for entertainment purposes.

[accidentally-in-fictional-love]

Things I Noticed While Writing Light The Fuse: Part 11, Episode 4

This one may be just about one Phoenix but finally I get to show Ethan some love hehe 🥰💛

Before we get to him though, a clock! An actual, working clock! The rare showing of time that helps me figure out how long this show is actually going for!

Here it is, my Timeline. The furthest it goes is the 23rd, and he would be checking more pages if it went further to see if she was/had been there, so I placed Cop Night on July 23rd with this scene taking place the next morning on the 24th, therefore Ethan starts dating Matty and Johnson on July 23rd to go along with Matty and Johnson's anniversary on July 1st in Fucked / Up ❤️💛💙

Going off this single date I ended up having the fic start on June 7th with Ethan arriving on the 8th by the end of my figurings, and I have a column in my notes just for dates based on what everyone says, their runs, and outfit changes, all thanks to this single crumb. And now we have all three of their Phoenixversaries, Johnson on February 2nd (with his bday), Ethan on June 8th, and Matty exactly two months later on August 8th~

This still isn't Ethan but this scene will forever haunt me WHY IS HELL ITSELF AT THIS MOTEL???

Okay now it's Ethan Time, because this scene makes me insane for a different reason. Him saying later that he literally just trusted her through everything really confirms that Ethan is a canon dumbass, like dude you can still trust her but you had to have some idea! This is why I made him so aware of what's going on that he held info away from her as well. I really loved writing this scene, I love writing all their scenes, him constantly trying to cut ties with her and failing each time she calls because of their bond is so important to me with all the angst possibilities

Like this right here, with that smile of hers knowing that he will, and him doing it. Add in the fact that he also knows he will even when he's catching on that she's not the Doris he knew anymore, I love that so much and I'm so glad I got to write it all out amidst him hanging up on her after making her panic that Burt already got to him before he namedrops Matty for the first time

Also Ethan having this convo directly next to a Pinup room when he's trying to be stealthy is so funny to me

That's because you just spoke to your adoptive mom after gaining not one but two boyfriends, of course you're feeling weird. Also since when does Ethan wear a black undershirt, that's Matty's! I'm insane!!

Comfy??? My man's all spread out, ditched the coat, he is there to stay

Matty: You heard it pays?

Ethan is so bad at lying how has Matty taught him nothing by now it should be a second language by this point

You're killin' it man she totally believes you

Meredith is so cute here, I love her genuine shock that he'd really think she'd take one of them, I wonder how many actual conversations she has in this place outside of Joel (for the most part) and Matty and her friend Tina

Ethan is so cute I love his smile so much 🥰🥰🥰

The fact that he hasn't had this talk with Johnson in canon is so weird to me, he's around him so often that I bet he'd talk about it with Matty there, I don't doubt that cause I'm obviously upping his mystery in my own way since I don't know what his actual deal is. It makes for a nice bonding scene with Meredith, but they really underutilized Johnson also being around for so long so many times which is just criminal honestly

I really wonder if she was ever able to talk about this, since it was such a big thing, a war so bad Joel's even afraid of it and she was just a child during it. I really never shipped them even before my eyes were opened to the Phoenixes being boyfriends, so them having this conversation as friends is so important to me. It's a romance that doesn't need to happen for them to stay close, just like she is with Matty, and I can only pray they stayed this way in season 2.

Their friendship is everything to me. At its basis, these are two people who need friends more than anything, people to listen and be there for them as they come to see that they're already home, if season 2 had come out and had them suddenly start making out sloppy style it might've actually made me upset and that's no joke

Episode 4 down, I can tell already that ep5 is gunna need several posts but I am so ready to talk about it hehe 💛

[officeobject]

A vent I wrote out (tagged as "trauma" because I mentioned it and talked a bit about it, not because I see this as trauma)

 Hey I think I'm unusual around kids - like, afraid, because a lot of them will be loud and cause trouble and all, and I can't always get help, and sometimes they will dismiss me, or tell me to solve it myself, or that they're busy, etc, and I won't call what I have, "trauma", unless it benefits me, but my peers, who've been my peers my whole life, have treated me badly, most of the time, and of course, PHYSICALLY (not mentally) aged with me, so teens/young adults are still cruel, this time KNOW what they're doing, still loud and rambunctious, and yeah, people were like that in my childhood, and even NOW I still a few times experience it (and that's not even me counting a literal kid doing all kinds of crap), but I'm older now ... and now can't even handle loud sounds anymore - there's seemingly less I can handle, and in my life, I have been replaced, ghosted, forgotten, doxxed (just a few infos that were private though no ID), told to kill myself by multiple people, betrayed, had fake friends (most of which I just let happen, especially since I sometimes don't trust myself to tell what's real VS fake), dealt with that fake-self addiction thing, got shipped with my stepbrother "as a joke", was posted about on some big blog for saying some "stupid" things, was unable to help my bro when he needed it or dismissed it or whatever (though again, I was a kid), got haunted by the soul of a guy who hurt me right after I was getting over it, and also whatever happened in THIS extract from the history of my addiction, so yeah, I'm scared of kids, even if they're relatives: a female friend of mine - same age - locked us in her bedroom and made me kiss her and make out with her in order to get the key + other excuses and I didn't like it and felt helpless and hopeless and never told anyone in fear of it being seen as my fault or something, and we got out because her mom was mad at her for not coming when she called and she had quickly found the key and crap - damn kid tried to soothe me when I cried or some shit ...

Imma add: Fell for one of those fake-friend personas, often suddenly blocked, stared at by some 50+ year old even after showing I'm uncomfortable by it (they're probably harmless and ONLY said "hi" when they saw me IRL but still), dealt with lots of aphobia and whatnot, had to deal with lots of people having dogs while I never could, dealt with The Void, dealt with my emotional self, dealt with my mom being an emotional person too, hated my mom's new boyfriend for years because the break-up was so hard for me personally, got spontanously hit this one time (not by a parent), had to keep quiet when someone ELSE got hit due to the person's anger so he wouldn't have to go to jail, got held upside down by teenagers when I myself was only in the first grade of school while my friends merely ran, HAVE been held back and/or hit multiple times by classmates later on, once got hit by a classmate for being annoying in a group-project (teacher said that I DID deserve it though), classmates would often pressure/dare me to do stuff I didn't want to (I was a coward), hid for most of my life that I do talk to objects and all, dealt with frequent philosophical/existential thoughts and also suspicions of people being able to see me and stuff, often felt like shit due to who I was and especially the way I experience friendship (even labled as stuff by former friends), got people mad/got yelled at for stuff like not knowing what people "obviously said"/"obviously meant", once got my favorite toy tempoarily taken or whatever as a joke (also the teacher told me I could have it later in the first place which I didn't like), accidentally "killed" a roll of tape, hit/ripped my tape-friends who somehow forgave me, accidentally harmed tape multiple times by getting it in rain, there's also the fact that people are just generally often rude and mad at me and passive-aggressive and stuff online, thought at some point that a group of boys were following me, get sometimes followed by some kids who keep howling after me whenever they see me, people also sometimes assume I mean things romantically or sexually, had moderators of a site do nothing, also had mods of the site ban me for sending a hateful song parody to someone who had been talking behind my back all along (I didn't know that at the time but still), and more, and I'm not sure what counts as trauma, but I will never call mine that if people would say "only therapy can solve it!", because NO, I don't wanna be given advice from some stranger I don't even like, I just want Office Worker, who I believe can ACTUALLY help.

[nymm-tyndall]

dear future love,

just had a meeting with my friend. she helped me take my t shot and then we went to buy some gachas. it was nice to see someone and get out of my room but... I feel like I haven't felt understood in a long time. she has a loving boyfriend. she's pretty, outspoken, talkative... I tried to explain to her why I'm 100% certain why I have adhd but her responses varied from "I also find it hard to start things sometimes, but once I do it's going somehow" and "please, stop with the self diagnosis". One time I even told her that my knee was hurting when I kneeled and her immediate response was "don't say such things". I had to use some of my brain power to focus on *not* saying stuff like that.

but it was oh so hard. whenever I visit her she only tells my stuff about her boyfriend and her friends. about the events she attends, conversations she has with people, clothes she bought because they looked good on her. and I can just feel my eyes water with tears every time I look at her or hear how much her boyfriend is doing to support her.

I don't think she knows how it feels to never have gotten that. the attention. the affection. I was almost two years in a relationship once and maybe it's just ky bitterness talking but my boyfriend never really made any effort to anticipate my needs or take care of me, even though I was always overthinking his needs. I don't know what it feels to *deserve* being loved. to have someone go an extra step for you. to have someone want to make you feel desired. or maybe I just don't remember but it's been so long since anyone bothered to hold me for more than a second or two.

I don't think I've ever felt more miserable in my entire life. I know you're not there. I know I don't deserve you. but at times like that I just need to pretend for a moment that you care how I feel and that you'd just be there for me to understand me and hold me close.

the worst thing is that I forgot to charge my headphones so I'm alone with my thoughts for the loong ride home.

it's not like I'm suicidal or anything cause I do want to have a future but sometimes I'm just so tired of feeling that way I wish I could fall asleep indefinitely.

I know I don't have enough "substance" to pass for a person worth loving. real people have more balanced feelings, more things to talk about besides their loneliness, they do the stuff they want and can do. they actually add something to the world instead of just taking and being too afraid to share anything just in case it's not worth anything.

i feel truly hollow and yet full of mud at the same time. i don't think I'm salvageable anymore. too needy for my own sake.

i love you so fucking much and I don't think i've ever needed you more.

take care!!