#but I do think about him getting drunk with Roy and Keeley after Mom City and them just being so gentle with him and

[toxicroyjamie]

i honestly dont even think jamie enjoys alcohol that much, especially when he's in an upset mood

I agree! I think Jamie is exclusively a social drinker, and even then doesn't like being DRUNK drunk. He'll have 1-2 if everyone else is drinking but he doesn't like getting sloppy to the point he can't take care of himself

He doesn't drink the beer Ted buys him in Lavender, and I think that was because he knew he was depressed and didn't want to start relying on alcohol for mood regulation. I have alcoholism in my family and I very consciously avoid drinking when I'm upset because I'm worried it'll send me down a slippery slope. I only drink when I'm already having a good time :)

[jamietarttsnorthernattitude]

Sliding Doors fic concepts are my FAVE of all things so if there is anything you want to share about the Roy Sliding Doors fic then I am eagerly awaiting!!!

Yes friend happy to!

So the basis is that Roy, drunk and watching IG stories and Keeley and Jamie in Brazil, gets jealous, has a dream they’re getting back together and then wishes he never trained Jamie. He wakes up the morning of the press conference from Mom City in a world where he hadn’t.

A bit long so more after the cut.

Now I fully believe that when Roy offered to train Jamie, he ALSO needed it. He had broken up with Keeley and was feeling lost on his own without something or someone. There wasn’t even much to do at work since it was the Zava show.

So Roy spends all his time with Ruth and Phoebe, which is great at first. But Roy becomes increasingly grumpy and Ruth is losing her patience with him because he’s ALWAYS there and he’s ALWAYS complaining about Jamie Tartt. And it culminates in Roy snapping at Phoebe after she asks about Jamie.

“Which is ironic considering all you do is talk about Jamie Fucking Tartt and how much you hate him, about his stupid hair, about the rude thing he said at training. If you bring up Jamie Tartt one more time I’m going to fucking scream.”

Ruth is having NONE of him once he yells at her.

The team is fine, they are middle of the table. Total football is happening but they’re not nearly as good at it as they were.

The ride to the Dog Track was even more confusing. The pundits on the radio discussed the upcoming match between AFC Richmond and Manchester City. But they weren’t commenting how close the Greyhounds are on the table. In fact, it seems that everyone assumed Man City will clinch another title with an easy win over Richmond.

Things with Keeley are worse than when they first broke up and she doesn’t want to get involved with whatever is happening between him and Jamie after navigating the PR of the two of them in a public fight.

He remembered Keeley breaking into a smile when this happened before. But there was no smile on Keeley’s face now. If anything, she started to frown.

“Roy, I don’t want to get involved in whatever you two have going on,” Keeley said, shaking her head and crossing her arms.

And the Jamie of it all. Jamie, without Roy, begins to resent the team more and more and falls to season 1 levels of prick. So he’s not as comfortable speaking up about total football and doesn’t until months later. Without Roy and total football he doesn’t get called up for England. He’s not player of the month.

So Roy’s dropped head first into this new universe while Jamie’s in the midst of his depressive episode and Roy is trying to help him and convince Jamie he actually cares for him. Which Jamie doesn’t believe because Roy is only recently returned from an Anger Management retreat he was required to attend after another fight with Jamie.

“Have you been conditioning your hair?” Roy says the first thing he can think of.

Jamie’s hand went to his hair, confusion lining his face.

“Fuck off, even without conditioner, my hair’s still better than yours. What the fuck do you want anyway?” Jamie asked, hands fisting under his shirt.

“I’m trying to fucking help you,” Roy said as he hears the door open behind him.

Jamie took the opening. “I don’t need help, and I definitely don’t need it from you.”

And maybe Jamie’s father is also back in his life because he went to rehab after seeing Jamie make his England debut and in this world he doesn’t and James Tartt can only stay away from his meal ticket for so long.

[puppypeter]

Keeley automatically pulls Jamie's head into her lap when they're sitting on a couch together anyway. Jamie wouldn't dare try it with Rebecca but one time she comes across him having a Mom City-esque breakdown, panics about what to do and decides to do a Keeley and pull his head into her lap. It calms him down and after a few minutes they're both very awkward and Jamie gets up and thanks her while trying not to make eye contact and pink with embarrassment, but she assures him its fine (and actually since Keeley desensitized her to casual touch she found it quite nice). In the future, they're both drunk at Keeley's, sitting on a couch and Rebecca pulls his head into her lap casually and Keeley is just vibrating with happiness and joins in the cuddle pile

Related to this post.

OMGGGGG cuddle huddle on Rebecca!!! Give her all the loveeee🥰🥰🥰 Keeley would absolutely immediately join in, Roy would be on the armchair all awkward and jealous and really wanting some love but feeling too uncomfortable ☹

I do love fics where Rebecca and Jamie become friends, unfortunately they both have experience with manipulative abusive pieces of shit. While I think Rebecca would usually be absolutely not comfortable with Jamie crying all over her, I feel like if he was blubbering through the tears about his dad she would not hesitate to comfort him ❤

[tartt9]

unsolicited headcanon questions - What is Jamie's social media presence like? What's he like for controversies or hot takes? Has he ever done anything/said anything that went viral or got meme'd?

i love an unsolicited headcanon question so thank you for sending me this !! :')

so jamie's very active on social media. like to the point that he needs to shut the fuck up sometimes. his twitter is his most frequently used platform - he's just @ jamietartt he'll respond to all of richmond's tweets - he's got their post notifications on - and all of the premier league's tweets about him and his teammates. he also responds regularly to the three lions twitter account. but outside of football and #coygh and richmond til we die!s, it's seriously nonsense. he runs polls to see his followers' takes on things, and he's always like there is a right answer. he overuses emojis. at 2 am he'll tweet like @ PaddyOGara if you were a dog what type of dog would you be and @ IsaacMcAdoo how many eggs do you think you could eat in one sitting maximum not on average absolute maximum number of eggs pls respond quickly this is important his instagram (also @ jamietartt) is.... what you think his instagram would be. lots of pictures of him on match days, in richmond reds, blues, and yellows. lots of pictures of him hanging off of his teammates. lots of instagram stories during celebrations in the dressing room and afterwards when they're out clubbing. but it's also full of ego-stroking shirtless pictures and gym selfies where his shirts are matted to his body with sweat. he does amas more frequently than he should. keeley has to work overtime with him sometimes tbh. his tiktok (also.... @ jamietartt) is all behind the scenes with richmond/the three lions content. colin sleeping on the bus. moe having a very intense conversation with the new greyhound mascot. them actually seeing how many eggs isaac could eat in one sitting. and occasionally he just shows off his footwork on there because he likes to brag and he likes praise (canonically lmao)

his biggest controversy is, obviously, fucking off from city two weeks into their season to do lust conquers all. he still gets questions about that, still gets people who don't take him seriously as a footballer because of that. but, aside from lust, the next biggest controversy was that one time he was pictured outside of a club in london with a cigarette between his fingers. it was keeley's, and he was just holding it for her - he's never actually smoked in his life, because he takes his health seriously - but it was on a bunch of tabloids front pages the next day. he didn't make a statement. he doesn't get asked about that as much anymore, but it wouldn't surprise me if opposing team's players ask him if he want one as a cruel sort of joke if they run across each other out clubbing or something

his hot takes are mostly just like. "i think kent was a better player than beckham ever was" and he likes to start fights about that but he does fully 100% believe his own opinion when he says stuff like that. there are loads of comments on our irl tiktok that's like "he (jamie) thinks he's ronaldo" and when jamie's drunk he needs someone to stop him from replying on his main account like "no. i think i'm better than him."

as for going viral i like to think the moment he said that he and beard aren't having sex definitely still circulates on richmond twt, plus him and roy headbutting and hugging after their promotion, plus there's discussion about whatever roy said when he hugged jamie after jamie left the pitch in mom city. usfw mention in this paragraph don't read this if you don't want that // there's also the canon fact that he gets half-hard when he does particularly well on the pitch..... people Are Looking that's all im gonna say

he also just. like. says silly things if any of the lads catch him on camera saying something ridiculous it'll probably go viral on richmond twt if not further internet spheres than just richmond ygm?

tldr he's an absolute menace on the internet and somebody should probably change his passwords half the time but he's super good at fan engagement and he's doing his best to stop starting fights with strangers about himself/his teammates