#but I can’t find any direct information -n-
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p0orbaby · 5 months ago
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Not Nineteen Forever
summary: co-parenting with two kids? light work
warnings: are exes a warning ?
a/n: i smell reconciliation in the air…
word count: 1.1k
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“He’s forgotten his boots? What time is his lesson? No sorry don’t answer that, I’ve got meetings for the rest of the day, I can’t leave the office. Can he play in his school shoes? Can I just ask, have you tried getting in contact with Alexia? No, you just called me, got it. Well it looks like he will have to miss football then doesn’t it. Yes, it’s such a shame! Okay, thank you, bye”
You hang up and smash the phone back into its receiver, frustration boiling over. This is the third time this month something has come up with the kids while you are at work. Balancing a full-time job and single parenthood was taking its toll. You sigh, running a hand through your hair, and try to refocus on the mountain of tasks waiting for you.
It has been a year since you and Alexia divorced. The decision was mutual, borne out of necessity rather than any particular wrongdoing. Her career had always been demanding, but as she rose to greater heights, the time she could spend at home dwindled to almost nothing. The distance, both physical and emotional, had grown insurmountable. You had drifted apart, slowly and painfully.
The kids have taken the separation surprisingly well. They are resilient, adapting quickly to the new arrangement of split weeks and alternating weekends. But despite their brave faces, you can see the strain it puts on them. You miss the days when the four of you were a team, tackling life’s challenges together.
As you stare at your computer screen, trying to immerse yourself back into work, the phone rings again. It was the school. Again.
“You should have Alexia’s number on file but if you need me to confirm-“
“I’m sorry?”
“Luis’ boots. If it’s that much of a problem I’m sure my wife- ex wife, can drop them off”
“Apologies Ms Putellas, but I'm ringing about your daughter. This is the school nurse…”
-
You arrive at the school to find Alexia already there, uncharacteristically nervous as she waits. Despite everything, she always manages to be present when it truly matters. It’s one of the things you admire most about her, and also one of the most frustrating – her ability to show up at the critical moments, even if she couldn’t be there for the day-to-day.
Silently you’re both ushered into the head's office, where your daughter sits with a bandaged arm and teary eyes.
“How did this happen?” you ask suddenly, directing your question to the principal as you crouch down to inspect Liliana.
“She was climbing on the monkey bars and lost her grip,” the older woman explains. “It was an accident. She’ll be fine, but we thought it best to have you both here, given the circumstances”
“An accident?” Alexia echoes sharply, her voice edged with anger she normally only reserves for the pitch. “She’s only four! Why wasn’t she being supervised properly?”
The principal shifts uncomfortably. “We do our best to keep an eye on all the children, but sometimes with kids these things happen. We deeply apologise for any distress this has caused”
Alexia’s face tightens with frustration. “My daughter could have been seriously hurt!”
You place a calming hand on Alexia’s arm, feeling the tension radiating from her as she fizzes on the spot. “Ale,” you say softly. “We can talk about this later”
Alexia finally takes a deep breath, her eyes softening as she looks at Liliana, who is now clinging to her like a lifeline. “Are you okay, Cariño?” she asks, her voice gentler for your daughter's sake.
Liliana nods, though her eyes are still wet with leftover tears. “It hurts, Mami.”
The principal nods. “She’ll need some ice and rest, but otherwise, she should be okay. We just wanted to make sure you both were informed and could decide if she should go home for the rest of the day”
You glance at Alexia, your mind racing. It’s been a long time since you’ve had to make a decision like this together. “Do you think she should come home?” you ask.
Alexia looks down at Liliana who hugs at her leg, thinking as she strokes the top of her head. “I have the afternoon off. I can take her and keep an eye on her”
You’re surprised. “You have time off? I thought you had training”
“I managed to get the rest of the day cleared,” she says, her eyes meeting yours. “I wanted to be here”
For a moment, the tension between you eases, replaced by a shared concern for your child. You nod, before turning to the woman sitting behind her desk. “We’ll take Luis with us too”
The principal smiles, relieved. “Thank you both for coming in. We’ll make sure her things are ready to go”
-
“I finish at five, I’ll come straight here after” you say as the kids run past you into Alexia’s house. Liliana magically healed at the thought of being able to miss the rest of the school day.
Alexia watches them go, then turns back to you with a look that’s hard to read. “I know it’s been… different”
“Yeah, different is one way to put it,” you reply, trying to keep your tone light, inoffensive. “But we’re making it work”
She nods, her gaze drifting to the door where the kids disappeared. “They seem happy. That’s what matters”
You follow her eyes, watching the kids through the window to where they’ve migrated to the garden. “They’re stronger than we give them credit for. It’s us adults who complicate things”
Alexia laughs softly. “Isn’t that the truth?”
There’s a moment of silence, filled with all the words neither of you have dared to say. Eventually, Alexia breaks it. “You know, I’ve been thinking a lot lately, about everything”
You feel a twinge of something you can’t quite identify, hope maybe, but you push it aside. “Yeah?”
“Yeah,” she says, her eyes meeting yours in a way that makes your cheeks flush. “I miss them. And I miss… us”
You swallow hard, trying to bat away the emotions rising hopelessly within you. “Alexia, we’ve talked about this. Your career, my job, it just didn’t work”
“I know,” she replies, frustration creeping into her tone. “But just because it didn’t work then doesn’t mean it can’t work now. People change. Situations change”
You sigh, rubbing the back of your neck. “I don’t know, Alexia. It’s not that simple”
She steps closer, a dangerous move. You can smell the lingering scent of her soap, the gum she chews. “Maybe it doesn’t have to be complicated either”
You look at her, feeling the familiar pull you’ve tried to ignore for the past year. “I need to get back,” you say finally, peeling yourself away from her.
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thelov3lybookworm · 1 month ago
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Old Habits Die Hard
Day 7: free day.
Summary: hes a spymaster, after all
•○●⛦●○•
Word Count: 1005
Warnings: azzie being a little too protective lol
A/n: this feels a lil rushedd, but i like it 😋
also huge thank you to @salloww for this idea hehe ily pookie 🤭❣️
@azrielappreciationweek
ANYWAY ENJOYYYY 🥳
°•°•°•○🌑○•°•°•°
"Azzie, I was thinking you and I could do something fun. Maybe we could go watch a performance at the rainbow?"
Azriel blinked, raising his eyes from the reports he had been reading to meet the eyes of his wife. "Just us?"
She giggled, winking. "Yes, just us."
He smiled back, even as his brows furrowed. "What about Hazel?"
Y/n rolled her eyes as Azriel stood and began moving closer to her. "She’s gone out. I think it will take her some time to come back home."
"Did she mention where she was going? And is she alone?" Azriel trusted Hazel, of course. But he did not trust others to not harm his baby.
Y/n paused, swallowing. "Uh, I think she’s with a friend."
And Azriel would have left it at that had Y/n not refused to meet his eyes. "Who’s the friend?"
"Umm, I don’t remember."
But Y/n never forgot anything.
"Alright, let’s go."
Y/n glanced at him uncertainly.
"Are you sure?"
He shrugged. "It’s been a long time since we did anything together. Let’s go."
Y/n smiled, kissing his cheek.
"I’ll go get dressed then."
He nodded, offering her a small grin as he watched her bound up the stairs to their bedroom. The moment she was out of sight, though, Azriel turned away, sending his shadows out.
He understood that Y/n knew exactly where and who Hazel was with, and if Azriel was being honest, he could figure out who the friend was too. But he wanted to make sure.
You can’t outsmart me, sweetheart. I will find out who it is you’re with.
°•°•°•○🌑○•°•°•°
Azriel felt light. So light as he watched his wife giggle at yet another joke the host of the performance uttered, her eyes glittering. It had been over months since Azriel had any quality time with his wife, and he almost felt bad for what he was about to do.
Almost.
The smile was a permanent resident on Azriel’s face as he focused more on his wife than the performance. He did not even remember what it was about. And he did not care.
"Az, I’m hungry." Y/n mumbled, pouting up at Azriel.
"Let’s go to the new place that opened up in front of Rita’s." Azriel said, carefully studying Y/n’s expressions. She did not seem to realise though, just nodding happily as she dragged him by his arm towards the direction of the club.
Maybe she only knows the name of the restaurant.
Sure enough, the moment the restaurant came into view and Y/n’s face fell as she read its name. Azriel smiled triumphantly, knowing he had been right.
"Az, I just remembered a place I had been wanting to eat at…"
Azriel forced the chuckle scratching at his throat back down, nodding solemnly. "We could go there for dinner, love. We’re already here, so why not try some new stuff? Unless there is something you’re not telling me about?"
"What? No! Of course not." Alarm painted Y/n’s features red, and she looked down at her feet as they carried her closer to the place Azriel knew Hazel was at.
It didn’t take long for them to enter and be intercepted by a waitress, asking them how many people were going to dine there. Azriel quickly ran his eyes over all the people that sat in various booths and tables, and finally, when his eyes landed on the two  suspects, he grinned.
"I think you’re a little less on tables, and I see my daughter there. We’ll just sit with them, don’t worry."
The employee smiled. "Perfect. I’ll just inform my manager about it."
Azriel nodded, ignoring the glare he felt at the back of his head as he hurried over to the table Hazel occupied. "Hey kids! What a surprise!"
Hazel’s wide eyes swung to meet the eyes of her father, mouth dropping open. "Dad… what are you doing here?"
Azriel shrugged. "I had heard of this place opening some time ago, thought I’d take your mother to try the food out."
"Hey, Hazel." Azriel watched as Y/n furrowed her brows, communicating with their daughter silently before Hazel sighed, nodding dejectedly.
"Hello, Kaden."
The boy perked up at Azriel’s voice, smiling.
"Hello, uncle. Hello aunty. How are you?"
Azriel sighed as he scooted in next to Kaden at the booth, offering a lopsided grin. "Never been better."
Kaden smiled, oblivious to the glare Y/n shot Azriel before turning to Hazel.
"You were going to tell me something, Hazel?"
Hazel shook her head. "I forgot. Nevermind."
Kaden’s brows furrowed, but he nodded. "Are you ready to order then? What would you like to have uncle?"
Kaden really seemed oblivious to what was going on, and Azriel had always been great at acting.
They ordered their food, and they all ate in comfortable silence. Well, comfortable silence if the glares of the women on the other bench could be ignored.
"Hazel, I’ll take my leave now. My mother wanted me home before evening. See you later, aunty, uncle." With that, Kaden stood, waving at the small family. The moment Kaden was out of sight, Hazel’s glare increased tenfold.
"Dad-"
"Hazel, I think Kaden left his wallet."
Sure enough, Azriel saw the small leather wallet on the table where Kaden had been sitting, and he scowled.
"Why don’t you go give it to him honey? Hurry up, he might not be far." Y/n encouraged, and Hazel didn’t need to be told twice. Even as Azriel began to protest, Hazel was gone.
He could feel a berating session oncoming, so he tried to stall by avoiding his wife’s eyes and glaring down at his lap.
"So you want to tell me what that was about?"
Azriel snuck a peek at Y/n from under his lashes. She leaned back in the cushioned seat of the booth, eyebrows raised and looking thoroughly unamused.
He sighed.
No point lying, I guess.
"Old habits die hard, Y/n."
°•°•°•○🌑○•°•°•°
Permanent Taglist: @berryzxx @sarawritestories @milswrites @throneofsmut
@daycourtofficial @sweetorangeblossom @secret-third-thing
@serenescureforboredom @cassie6392 @harrystylesfan2686
Acotar Taglist: @bubybubsters @eos-princess @nightless @harrystylesfan2686
@cassie6392 @kennedy-brooke @tele86 @miluiel1
@hnyclover @minnieoo @sidrapotter @piceous21
@mybestfriendmademe @saltedcoffeescotch @lady-of-tearshed @starsinyourseyes
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@sunnyspycat @artists-ally @milswrites @kingdomofstarrynights
@berryzxx @buttermilktea11 @loving-and-dreaming @yucanbmylxdy
@mellowmusings
Azriel Taglist: @darthdumbasss @foreverrandomwritings @azrielsmate3 @celestialend
@stqrgirlies-blog @tele86 @bakananya @xyzmeh
@st4r-girl-official @caraaaaugh @nacho-nat @allllium
@fandomarchiveilyd @nickishadow139 @angel-graces-world-of-chaos
@okaytrashpanda
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fyodoro · 6 months ago
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4:15am — Hayato Suo
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“A real gentleman is as polite to a little girl as to a woman.”
You remember reading that exact line a while back, though you can’t remember where. And if it weren’t for your boyfriend holding a lost little girl’s hand as he brings her to safety, you would have forgotten the quote altogether.
But today that quote wasn’t leaving your mind anytime soon.
“Here you go, let’s sit down here,” Suo gestured to a nearby bench, gently guiding her through her teary eyes. “Do you happen to remember your parent’s number?”
The young girl sniffled and wiped her tear stained cheeks. “N-No, I’m sorry…” she croaked, guilt creeping into her glossy eyes.
He placed a hand on her shoulder. “Hey now— it’s okay,” he whispered soothingly. “I’m sure they’re looking for you too. Could you give us a visual description of what they look like?”
You were seated next to the little girl while Suo was crouched besides her, opting to give you the leftover seat for a chance to rest your legs. It was a sweet gesture, really. But you wish he’d give himself an opportunity to rest too, seeing as he just dealt with a small gang all by himself.
How this situation started was a blur. One minute you were shopping for a new flavor of tea with Suo, and the next you were comforting a girl no older then ten while your boyfriend beat up a group of punks that thought it’d be fun to pick on her. The moment they were all down, Suo had the three of you flee the scene to keep the young girl safe.
You kept a gentle gaze on the girl next to you, though it didn’t stop you from sending Suo a concerned glance for her. She was clearly frightened— no doubt about it, and you couldn’t blame her. If you were little, lost from your parents, and older kids started teasing you, you’d get worked up as well.
“They’re tall… both reallyyy tall,” she said through sniffles. “Mommy has long blonde hair, and daddy has big curly hair on his head and face.”
Suo nodded, retaining the newly acquired information. “I see, can you recall the last place you saw them?”
He gazed at her softly, a look that made her feel safe and secure despite it coming from a stranger. Her sniffles stifled, and her breathing soothed.
Before she could respond, haste footsteps approached the three of you. You snapped your head in the direction the sound came from for confirmation that it wasn’t the boys from earlier. Instead, you were met with unfamiliar faces that matched the description you had just heard.
“Oh goodness, there she is!”
The blonde woman came rushing to her daughter, scooping her up in her arms as she let out a sigh of relief. “We were so worried about you…”
Suo and you both stood, finding your way back to each other’s sides as you watched the small family reunite.
The man— who you could only assume was the little girl’s father— bowed in gratitude.
“Thank you, thank you so much for keeping her safe,” he expressed, sounding quite out of breath.
“We were happy to help,” Suo smiled. “She didn’t get herself into any trouble, unfortunately it came to her. So please, don’t blame her for the commotion.”
The girl’s mother set her back on her feet, allowing her to hug both your and Suo simultaneously. You both hugged back, of course.
“I hope I can be as cool as you guys one day…!”
You side-eyed your boyfriend subtly, as did he, and let out a small chuckle. Neither of you would consider your actions to be “cool,” they were just good deeds. It’d be pure evil to leave such a young kid alone in a dangerous situation, something neither you or Suo would stand for.
“Again, thank you so much. We really can’t thank you enough for handling everything.”
You waved your hands, “It was no problem, really. Like he said— we were glad to help.”
Suo nodded next to you, tilting his head and sending a close-eyed smile to the family, waving as they set off. Once they were out of sight, a sigh of relief escaped your lips.
“Stressed?”
“Not anymore, but that whole thing had my heart racing. That poor girl…” your voice trailed off, thinking about what might’ve happened if neither of you were nearby. “Although…”
His brow lifted in curiosity as you turned to face him with a teasing grin. “I never imagined you being such a hero to kids~”
“What can I say?” he chuckled. “I’ve always been a gentleman haven’t I? That’s what you and the others have been telling me, at least.”
“Yeah, but I think this qualified you as a true gentleman.”
There’s no way that quote won’t cross your mind every time you see Suo from now on. Not until it’s erased from your memory, that is.
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© enassbraid 2024. i do not permit plagiarism, translations, or reposts of my work on any platform
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ynscrazylife · 6 months ago
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could i please request an aaron hotchner x bau wife reader. maybe they are on a case away in a different state and y/n volunteers to go pick up food for her and the team and she ends up seeing the unsub and follows him to the location, which happens to be an abandoned warehouse and she calls aaron when she gets there and he tells her to wait but she doesn’t and hangs up the phone and ends up getting stabbed in her abdomen since she doesn’t have her vest
lightly stabbed (aaron hotchner x wife!reader)
WARNING: Descriptions of violence.
You’re itching to get out of here.
The entire team is crammed into yours and Aaron’s hotel room to work on the case. It’s quite a small town and the nearest police precinct is barely big enough to fit all its officers inside, let alone accommodate what the BAU needs.
There are papers everywhere and Derek definitely has his boots digging into your bed and none of you are getting close to cracking the case. They’ve been able to determine what the guy looks like, but not his name. There’s no record of him anywhere. It’s starting to give you a damn headache.
“I’m hungry,” you announce, breaking through the silence and rocking back and forth impatiently. “Is anyone else hungry?”
“I could go for some food,” JJ says.
“Yes, please,” Derek adds.
“I’ll go pick up something!” You say, snatching your chance and bolting to grab your coat.
“Where?” Spencer asks skeptically.
“I’ll find a place. Could use a drive to clear my head anyway,” you say, putting your coat on and planting a kiss on Aaron’s forehead. You grab one of the room keys before slipping out the door.
You’re going to your car in the hotel’s garage when you spot a man who looks eerily similar to the descriptions of the unsub. You shake your head, trying not to read into it too much. There’s nothing that proves a definite connection. You get into your car and pull out into the road, but find that the guy’s car is going in a similar direction.
Unable to help yourself, you keep on tailing the guy and you call Penelope up to ask if she has any information on the unsub’s vehicle.
And what she gives you is the exact description of the car you’re following.
“Penelope,” you say, doing your best to keep your tone even and in control. “I’m pretty sure I’m following the unsub right now. I can’t risk losing our one lead, so I’m gonna keep on following him. I need you to call Aaron and let him know.”
Albeit nervous, she does as you ask. Minutes later, your phone rings with your husband on the other line.
“I’m being safe,” you say as soon as you answer.
“Do you have the license plate number?” Hotch asks.
“Yes.”
“Do you have reason to believe that he’s going to hurt anyone?”
“No.”
“You have to wait for the rest of us or at least one of the cops,” Hotch says—pleads.
You bite your lip, seeing the unsub slow down upon approaching what looks like an abandoned warehouse. Classic hostage location. “There’s a girl missing, Aaron. I think I see him going into the place where he’s keeping her. I can’t wait,” you say.
There’s a beat. He knows you have a strong point.
“We’re close, Y/N,” Hotch assures you.
The image of the kidnapped girl flashes through your mind. “See you soon,” you say before hanging up the phone.
After the unsub gets out of his car and enters the warehouse, you go around to the back, finding a door there. You venture in slowly and quietly, finding the girl tied to a chair in the middle of the room.
After waiting for a few minutes and not seeing the guy anywhere, you walk towards the girl. “Hey, hey, I’m here to help. I’m an FBI agent-” you flash her your badge. “-my team is on their way, but let’s get you of here.”
“He’s gonna kill me,” the girl whispers once you’ve taken the tape off her mouth. You kneel down to untie her ankles.
“No, he won’t. I’m with you, okay?” You assured her, moving around to the back of the chair to untie her arms.
You’ve loosened the knot and almost got it completely undone when suddenly, you’re grabbed from behind. You go to elbow the guy in the face as he drags you backward, but he sinks his knife into your abdomen before you can.
It burns. It hurts.
Your body knows what’s just happened, but your brain is frozen. Your thoughts are going in slow motion as you struggle to comprehend. It’s only when the guy wrenches the knife out and you scream, vision swarming with the blood you see, that it occurs to you: you’ve been stabbed.
The guy tosses you to the floor and vaguely, you register the sound of the kidnapped girl crying. He steps over you and you use all your strength left to grab onto his ankle and yank, hard, pulling him to the ground. The knife clatters out of his grip.
“Bitch!” He yells, scrambling onto his knees and backhanding you across the face.
“PUT YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR!”
You’d know that roaring voice from anywhere — Aaron’s here with the team. You relax slightly, knowing that they’re going to handle this.
The guy turns around to face the full, angry force of the BAU.
“DO IT NOW!”
He complies and, the second Rossi leads him away in cuffs, Aaron and Derek are by your side while Emily and JJ go to help the girl.
“Someone get a gurney in here!” Derek calls out.
Aaron’s saying something about how you’re going to be fine and they’ll get you to the hospital, but you don’t catch all of his words. He’s stroking your face and you can see that while he’s trying to keep composure, he’s worried. He shrugs his jacket off and presses it down on your wound, making you whine at the pain.
“I’ve gotta stop the bleeding, honey,” he murmurs. You know this. He knows you know this. He has to say it for his own piece of mind, to make sure that you don’t think he’s just hurting you.
“I’m sorry, Aaron,” you mumble to him, feeling your eyelids growing heavy. Your hand twitches, aching for his touch.
He takes your hand and brings it to his lips, kissing your skin and then kissing your forehead. “Shh, shh. None of that. I’m not mad. It’s-it’s only light,” he says.
You know it’s not, but his voice is comforting enough.
Derek’s talking to Aaron over your head. Something about how far out the ambulance is, you think. Comforted that your husband isn’t angry with you, your eyelids close now, and the darkness takes over.
//
The first thing you register when you wake up is beeping. Opening your eyes slowly, you blink a couple times, then see that you must be in a hospital room. The beeping comes from the monitors you’re hooked up to. There’s an IV in your arm, giving you fluids, and you can feel a bit of scratchiness from the hospital gown.
“Honey?”
Your husband’s warm voice fills your ears as he enters your line of sight. He stands up from his chair that’s been drawn up to your bedside, putting aside a newspaper that he was barely reading anyway.
“Hi,” you murmur, stretching your fingers for his hand which he happily supplies you with.
“Hi,” he greets, smiling widely. “You’re in the hospital, as I’m sure you can tell. You’re gonna be just fine but you have to stay here for observation for a little bit. I’ll be with you the whole time. The team’s also in the waiting room — Garcia has many balloons.”
This gets a smile out of you, too. You can just imagine the balloons getting into Derek’s face and how they squabble over it. “Mm. I seem to remember you telling me that my wound was only light, right?” You ask. It’s one of the few things you can recall from the ordeal.
“I was trying to soothe you,” he says, chuckling and squeezing your hand.
“I know,” you assure him, then you pat down on the space next to you. “Sit.”
“I’m not sure if I should—” Aaron says.
“Come here,” you insist, wanting to lie with him.
Unable to say no, he very carefully sits down next to you and wraps you up in his arms. You settle against his chest, finding it a far better pillow.
“I’m sorry,” you tell him, wanting him to know it. “You told me to wait.”
“We can talk about that later, but I’m proud of you. You saved the girl’s life,” he says, kissing your forehead.
He really is the best husband ever. As long as he’s here, everything’s gonna be okay, you think.
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sunrisesfromthewest · 6 months ago
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First Encounter Part 3
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|Notes:Y’all boy getting a little jealous and my man Reggie did his thing💓💓,Things get a little more steamy in part 4😏😏 |Warnings:None |
Here's all the parts I have so far: 1 2 3 4 5 6
______________________
Wanting to clear your mind from the previous interaction with Armando, you walk over to Dorn who is scrolling through files on his computer hoping to find something for the situation. Pushing his head playful you asked if he had any luck yet, while stealing a folder to look through. "No, I found a few emails and a file but nothing that could lead us to who is doing this,” he says sighing.  
Giving his shoulder a reassuring squeeze, you say, "Don't stress yourself to much over this, I'm sure something will pop up eventually.” Turning in his chair he looks up at you, with a boyish grin.
Screwing your eyebrows together you say “What?", setting the file you were going threw down. "Y/N, I can’t stop thinking about how fast you dropped to the ground earlier," pausing to laugh he continues, "that's the fastest I seen you move besides running from bugs." Watching him laugh about the incident from earlier, you smack your lips and push at his head again.  
"You know good and well you would’ve drop like I did too; I’ll be damned if I let a bullet take me out." Seeing him really start to tear up, while laughing, you watch as he holds his stomach doubling over.”Aye, not too much asshole!” you say chuckling a bit at his reaction. Sitting up he grabs your arm trying to regain his previous composure but failing when you give him a deadpan look. 
Continue to watch your friend have his little laughing session, you smile to yourself at his goofiness. As your about to scold him some more, you're abruptly interrupted by Armando who cuts into you and Dorns space. Forcing you two to break apart, to make room for him as he rudely asks Dorn to pull up a photo for him.  
Seeing his jaw flex, he sends you an intense glance, but looks back at the screen as Dorn zooms in on the photo. Glaring at him you say "Well, that was fucking rude, you could’ve asked nicely." Dorn hums in agreement. 
“Lo que sea que digas princesa,(Whatever you say princess)” Armando says brown eyes staying locked on the screen. Pausing you scan over his form trying to figure out why he had an attitude all the sudden. Letting out a gasp, you begin to laugh, realizing that he was jealous of Dorn.  
Glancing behind Armando muscled form to look at Dorn you see him shoot you a look with a smug smile confirming what you're thinking. Shaking your head you move closer, pressing your chest against Armandos toned arms, and whisper, "Don’t worry he’s with Kelly, ". Watching as he turns his face in your direction, pretty brown eyes glancing down at your breast. 
 He firmly whispers back, "I know, he needs to keep it that way." Biting your lip you smile, at his small show of dominance, his gaze returns back to the screen. 
Unconsciously, you stay close to his warm figure, as he leans forward, eyes evaluating the photo before he says “I seen this guy before...... can you do a facial scan." Hearing this Mike, Marcus, and Kelly make their way towards you guys watching each screen as loads of information begins to pop up. 
 "His name is James McGrath, looks like he was a former DEA Agent until he was tortured by the Cartel...... Captain Conrad mentions him a few times on some of his notes.” Pausing Dorn looks up, waiting to see what his superiors might have to say.  
"This has to be him he's the only with connections to the Cartel, it could be why he has been able to pull all these stunts......” pausing in realization Marcus ask if he could pull up the surveillance at his home, looking at your father with surprise you asked why.  
But before he could answer Mike cuts in and say, "Because were the only one that has proof that the Captain is innocent and he needs leverage." glancing at his son Mike pulls out his phone calling his wife. Widening your eyes in shock you quickly run to the couch to grab your phone, immediately dialing your sister.  
Bouncing slightly as you hear the phone ring for the third time, you yell to tell your father that she’s not picking up. Watching your father call Reggie with urgency, you look up to see Armando watching with concern. Hanging up you let out a frustrated sigh returning back to where everyone was viewing the monitors intensely. 
Shaking from nerves you feel Armando brush his hands against yours, staring up at him you see worry in his eyes. Wrapping your hand around his he gives it a light squeeze, trying to calm you down.
Just as Dorn alerts everyone that theirs movement outside the home you hear Reggie pick up. As your father explains the situation quickly, Reggie springs into action, moving your mom, nephew, and pregnant sister to the pantry. 
 Watching him reach up to retrieve the gun that's stored in their as well, you watch in amazement as your brother-in-law kick ass.”Damn,I didn’t know he could do that.” your dad mutters shocked.
Everyone lets out a few comments in agreement. Watching Reggie causally body 15 attackers, had your blood rushing in adrenaline. After confirming that the house was safe, he quickly moved the family out the house but not before saluting at the camera. 
“Yeah, baby that’s how we do it in the Burnett family! "You say hugging Armando with relief and excitement after what you just witness.
Standing in shock Armando moves to embrace you as well, but looks up to see everyone watching you two like a hawk. Clearing his throat, he watches you look up at him confused, nodding his head to the side you see everyone staring. 
Breaking away from him you avoid their gazes sheepishly saying sorry. 
Before anyone could comment Mike asked Dorn to pull up his security footage after not having any success, in reaching his wife.
As everyone eyes return back to the screens with concern, you feel Armando wrapping his hand around yours again, lightly running his thumb against it. 
 Mike let's out a sigh as his wife finally picks up, but it’s too late because not even a second later you hear screams and scuffling. Frantically, your eyes search the monitors, watching as men infiltrate Mikes home. 
Glancing away from the screen you look at Mike, who has an uneasy expression washing over his face. Just as he was about to speak, a deep menacing voice cuts in, 
“tss.tss.tss.... I think you have something that belongs to me Mike......” 
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apclyptc · 1 year ago
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DUMB— chris sturniolo x reader
synopsis: reader is smart and top of her class in college. chris however, is not too interested in her intelligence.
warnings: full on smut, swearing and also drinking/smoking, use of the pet name baby, use of the word slut, dumbification, oral (f! receiving), unprotected sex
“hit her from the back she can’t do nothing but yell,
and she smart as fuck i got this bitch straight out of yale”
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Ever since you were younger, you seemed to have a gift for memorising and holding information. Because of this, people assumed you studied constantly.
Obviously, you did study. But it wasn’t like you didn’t have a social life. You enjoyed college parties like any other person would.
So when a guy in your class invited you to his frat house for a party, of course you didn’t refuse.
The only thing was, this guy just happened to be Chris.
He was in your social studies class, usually sat at the very back with a couple of his friends in the lecture. You knew of each other, having shared mutual friends from other classes. You’d never really spoken to him one-to-one, mainly because he was always socialising with pretty much everyone, and while you weren’t shy, you also weren’t a huge fan of jumping into conversations with people who all knew each other prior.
It also didn’t help that Chris was the most attractive man you had seen in college, or maybe in your life.
You were good at hiding it, but he made you nervous. Of course, when he invited you to his fraternity house, you faked an air of confidence so you didn’t weird him out.
“Hey, it’s Y/N, right?” Chris began, and when you affirmed with a nod he continued, “I’m throwing a party tonight, you should come.” He threw a smile in your direction, and you pushed down the immediate feeling of giddiness before answering.
“Yeah sure, sounds good. When does it start?” You asked nonchalantly as you could.
“Around 10. You can come whenever, it will be on way into the morning anyway.”
“Great. Am I good to bring a couple friends?” You replied, not wanting to walk into a party alone.
“Yeah that’s fine with me. Ask your friend Lola, my buddy Nate has a thing for her. Just don’t tell him I told you that.” He smirked at you.
That smirk. You wished you could see that smirk while he was hovering over you as he sla—
“Lola, yeah! I’ll bring her along with me.” You snapped out of your less than decent reverie and gave Chris a response.
“Perfect. I’ll see you there, Y/N.” He gave a quick glance up and down your body before turning and walking away from you.
It was then you realised, you had absolutely nothing to wear. Plus, since Chris just personally asked you, you decided you may as well dress as hot as possible.
Y/N: hey lola, frat party tonight?
Lola: do u even have to ask??? usually it’s me dragging u to these things
Y/N: true lmao. i’m gonna need to borrow something from ur closet
Lola: ooooh why, do u need smth slutty?
Y/N: maybe
maybe i was personally invited by the party thrower
Lola: who
Y/N: chris 😇
Lola: GIRL-
ok ok i’ll give u the sluttiest thing i can find
come over later and we can pick something out for u
A couple of hours later once you were finished at college, you headed to your best friend Lola’s dorm.
You two had spent what seemed like hours choosing each other’s outfits.
“By the way, a little birdie told me that Nate has a thing for you.” You eyed Lola up, knowing she had a soft spot for him.
“Oh, really? That’s interesting. Totally unrelated but would you still happen to have that box of condoms I gave you for secret santa last year?” Lola gave you a suggestive look, raising her eyebrows.
“Of course. Already put two in my bag.” You both laughed.
You arrived at the party at 11:27, mainly because no one turns up to a party on time, but also because Lola took a ridiculous amount of time to get ready.
You met up with a couple of girls from the dorms opposite Lola, seeing as they were also invited.
As soon as you arrived, you were immediately shown to the kitchen where an array of bottles were displayed.
Vodka, whiskey, rum, tequila and practically any spirit you could think of, were decorated around the kitchen.
You grabbed two cups, one for you and Lola, and filled it with vodka and soda.
“Hey, I think I see Nate and Chris over there.” Lola points behind you through to the games room, where lo and behold, Nate and Chris were playing what looked like an intense game of beer pong.
The two of you walked over to them, Nate noticing you first.
“Hey! Come help me win the game, Lola.” He gestured for her to play with him.
Chris had then turned around to see you, that smirk appearing yet again.
“You gonna help me?”
You took a quick swig of the contents in your cup before joining Chris at the table.
“Atta girl. Nice of you to bring Lola for my bro.” He spoke in a low voice so that only you could hear.
“Chris, stop flirting and throw the damn ball.” Nate teased, and you felt your cheeks grow red.
Chris threw the ball into the cup closest to him, the object landing into the beer and making a splash.
“Drink up, fool.” he glanced at you to make sure you were watching.
After a while, you had enough to drink to give you a confidence boost, and were now invested in the game of beer pong.
It was down to one cup each, and you had to make the final shot.
“Come on, Y/N,” Chris spoke from behind you, “you got it.”
It was too hard to concentrate with his voice so close to your ear, and his body so close to yours. You threw the ball, but it narrowly missed the cup.
“Yes! Chris you’re a loser!” Nate laughed at his best friend across from the table, throwing his arm around Lola who had locked eyes with you as he did this.
‘Don’t forget the condom’, you mouthed to her playfully, and she winked, pointing to her pocket.
Nate and Lola had then disappeared together, leaving you alone with Chris.
“Sorry I missed the cup.” You joked.
“Apology accepted. You wanna smoke with me?” He pulled out a perfectly rolled joint from his pocket.
You weren’t a huge smoker, only joining with Lola occasionally when you felt like unwinding.
Nevertheless you agreed, deciding you may as well since you were at a party.
Chris lead you upstairs into his room. Your eyes immediately glanced around the room, taking in its appearance.
Chris sat on the edge of his bed, and you followed.
“Could you get my lighter, it’s in the top drawer over there.” He pointed to the bedside table at the wall, and you grabbed the device, passing it to him which he thanked you for.
“Lola and Nate seem to hit it off.” You spoke.
Chris held the joint between his lips, lighting it before replying, “he’s down bad for her. Has been for a while.”
You giggled to yourself, knowing Lola felt the same about him. It was a good feeling for you, because you knew Nate was a nice guy.
“They’re a good match. Nate’s a good guy for her." You responded, watching Chris take the first hit of weed and exhaling the thick smoke.
“Yeah? Is that what you’re into? Nice guys?” He asked you, taking another hit before passing it to you.
You took the joint from his hand and inhaled.
“I guess. I think I prefer someone more… unpredictable.” You had Chris in mind as you answered. You had yet to figure out why he invited you here himself, since you didn’t know each other that well.
“In what way?”
“I don’t know, someone I can’t figure out. I like to be kept on my feet, someone like Nate is easy to understand because he’s straightforward. Which is great for Lola, she deserves someone who is like that.” You thought about all the past few guys Lola had a thing with. They weren’t that nice.
You passed the joint back to Chris who had his eyes trained on you as you spoke.
“So you like the tension, not knowing when or if someone wants you.” He tried to understand.
“Yeah. Don’t get me wrong, it’s nice when it’s easy. But..” You trailed off.
“It’s more fun not to know.” Chris finished your trail of thought as if he knew the feeling.
“Exactly.”
A comfortable silence sat between you, passing the joint back and forth until it was gone.
“I have a question.” You asked, breaking the silence.
Chris tapped the joint out on his bedside table, and brought his attention back to you, “Go ahead.”
“Why did you invite me here? I mean, it’s not that I didn’t want to come, it’s just that we haven’t really talked much.” You asked, needing to know.
Chris chuckled.
“I thought it was more fun not to know?” He smirked, using your own logic against you.
“Come on! Tell me.” You persisted.
Chris leaned in closer to you, and you could swear your heart was beating out of your chest.
“I always see you in class,” He began to explain, continuing to close the gap between you, “sitting close to the front, answering all the questions. You’re pretty smart, aren’t you?”
The tension was palpable, and you felt yourself grow wetter as his low voice penetrated your ears.
“I want an answer.” He demanded.
“I- I guess so.” Your voice wavered, all of a sudden finding it hard to speak.
“I’ve always wanted to see how long it takes until I can make you speechless.”
And it surely didn’t take long, because in moments his lips were on yours.
It was as if every guy you had dated never existed, the feeling of Chris kissing you overrode any experience you had thus far.
His left hand rested on the back of your neck while his other hand took the opportunity to roam around your body, from your thighs to your chest, until it landed on your waist.
Your hands swiftly made their way to his arm and hair, while deepening the kiss he had started.
In a quick movement he lifted you onto his lap, letting both his hands find purchase on your waist.
With your arms wrapped around his neck, you slowly moved your hips rhythmically, earning a soft grunt from him.
Pulling away, he spoke, “You want to do this?”
You nodded, before asking the same of him.
“Do you?”
That same smirk that sent you reeling reappeared again.
“Does this answer your question?” He grinded his hips upwards into you, allowing you to feel his growing hard-on.
A whine escaped from your lips.
“No more talking.”
You reconnected your lips to his, the energy of the room turning into heated passion.
Chris’ hands slowly dragged down to your ass, kneading them with roughness.
You whined again, unable to stop any sounds from leaving your mouth.
The sound of the ongoing party downstairs could be faintly heard from inside the room, but you paid it no mind. You couldn’t, not while Chris had all his attention on you.
He briefly paused to take off the top you were wearing, and then resumed with his skilled tongue, sliding against yours. He took you off his lap, not separating from you for a moment as he laid you down on your back.
“Such a smart girl in class,” he pulled his shirt over his head and threw it behind him, “Does anyone know that you’re really just a little slut?” He kissed your neck, then your jaw.
“I need an answer.” Chris demanded again, and you rubbed your thighs together in want.
“No.” You breathed.
“No, what?” His hand glided up your thigh, separating them.
“I’m not a slut.” You managed to find words.
“So if I reach in between your legs, right now, you won’t be dripping for me?”
You knew you were.
A hand snaked through your skirt, pulling aside your underwear, and he slowly dragged a finger down your pussy.
“I’ve barely touched you. Do you want me to? Want me to touch you right here?” His finger, coated in your slickness, inched its way inside, just enough for you to feel it, but not enough to satisfy you.
You bucked your hips up, trying to feel something, anything.
But Chris pulled his hand away, causing you to whine in frustration.
Luckily for you, he wanted to feel you so badly, he couldn’t tease you for long. He grabbed the hem of your skirt, pulling it down your legs and threw it in the same direction as his shirt.
“I want to hear you. You love opening that mouth when we’re in class.” And with that, he pulled your underwear aside and attached his mouth straight to your throbbing clit.
All you could do was moan and writhe in his bed as he delved into your wet cunt, licking up all the arousal like a starved man.
Your hands flew to his hair, tugging on it desperately. The vibrations from the groan that left his mouth sent waves of pleasure tearing through your body.
Chris’ hands dug into the flesh of your thighs as they instinctively tried to close around his head.
“Fuck, right there!” You moaned loudly as his tongue dove inside your hole.
One of his hands left your thigh and drew circles on your clit, causing you to arch your back at the white-hot pleasure you felt from his ministrations.
Chris could feel his dick pulsate through his pants at the sounds you were making. He needed to feel you.
“You want me to fuck you, huh? Fill you up good?” He asked, and you knew by now he wanted an answer.
“Please, please, please.” Were the only words you could muster, too high on the feeling Chris had given you with his mouth.
He wasted no time on giving you what you were begging for, quickly discarding his pants and boxers, along with your bra and soaked panties.
Lining himself up with your entrance, he slid his dick over the slick of your pussy and pushed the tip in.
Your eyes had shut in anticipation, but when he made no attempt to move you opened your eyes to look at him.
He had waited until you made eye contact with him before pushing his entire dick inside you.
You both moaned at the full feeling, your walls contracting around him.
After a few seconds, Chris began to move.
Thrusting in and out at a slow pace as if to torture you, he shuddered, revelling in the feeling of your tight cunt.
“Fuck, feels so good baby.” You whined at the pet name, bringing his face down so you could kiss him again.
He started picking up the pace after this, your tongues smashing together in absolute need.
“Faster, faster.” You babbled, drunk off the sensation of his cock piston in and out of you.
“Yeah? You want me to fuck you dumb?” He grunted, loving how you could barely string full sentences together.
“Yes, yes, please. Need you deeper.”
The dirty words spilling from your mouth caused him to moan, and he flipped you onto all fours.
“Wanna see that pretty little ass bounce while I fuck you.” He muttered as he entered you yet again.
His pace was relentless, his balls slapping against you from the way he was pounding deep inside you.
You were just making sounds as you tried to say “Harder, faster, more,” but the words couldn’t form properly.
“The slut wants more? Can’t even speak but you’re begging for more?” He taunted you from behind.
You felt a sharp slap on your ass, followed by a soothing rub directly after. You practically yelled as Chris’ hand came down, your cunt convulsing.
“Knew you’d like that,” he slapped your cheek again, “Can feel you squeezing around me.”
You could feel the knot in your stomach unraveling, and you knew you wouldn’t last longer.
“Chris, gonna cum.” You managed to speak between moans.
“Come on baby, need you to cum while I’m inside you.” He groaned, trying to hold his own release off.
His words guided you right to your orgasm, shaking and crying while you came.
“Fuck, you want my cum inside you? Want me to stuff you full?” His pace was losing rhythm, chasing his orgasm while simultaneously overstimulating you.
“Mm, cum inside me. Want to feel it.” You cried, thrusting into him so you could feel more of him.
“So good, feels so good. Oh, I’m gonna cum inside of you,” Chris rambled, “Gonna fill you up with it.”
His moans were uncontrollable, spilling out of him as he relished in the warm feeling of your pussy.
“Cumming.” He grunted, as ropes of his cum spurted out, coating your insides until there was nothing left.
You both took the time to catch your breath, as Chris pulled out of you with a shaky sigh.
“Let me get you a towel.”
You turned onto your back once more, trying to comprehend the mind blowing sex you just had while dozens of people were partying downstairs.
Chris came back with a towel, cleaning the both of you up and passing you your underwear back.
“Hey.” You finally spoke, tired from all the stamina you had just burned.
“Hey.” He replied back to you.
“That was… amazing.” You sighed.
“Yeah, it was fun.”
You weren’t sure if he wanted you to leave now, or if you were supposed to stay, so you opted to do nothing.
“Let me take you on a date.” He announced, and you laughed.
“Don’t you think we’ve done this all a little backwards?”
Chris smiled and brought your head to his shoulder.
“I guess I’m just unpredictable.”
You then remembered you didn’t even use the condom you brought with you. You’d have to make your first date with Chris a trip to the pharmacy.
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a/n haha…. always wear a condom, kids!
hope you enjoyed my first oneshot.
send me any requests you want me to write! i think i’m gonna do an nsfw alphabet next, for chris and matt too
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lacontroller1991 · 8 months ago
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Rumors (Cooper Howard/The Ghoul x F!Reader)
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Main Master List || Misc Master List
Summary: After you believed he was dead, it comes as a shock to you that he's alive and wrecking havoc.
Warnings: 18+, HEAVY LANGUAGE, drug usage, drinking, mention of cannibalism, violence, gun slinging, blood, nudity, fighting
Author's Note: I swear I'll work on my other requests but the Cooper Howard brain rot is REAL and its STRONG, anywho, first time so let me know how you guys like it :)
Word Count: 3k
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In the wastelands of California, rumors get you killed and you’ve heard rumors. Whispers of his return. It’s been a while since you’ve seen him. Since he left you on your own in the middle of a gun fight to collect his bounty; and it nearly cost you your life. 
The last you’ve heard about him was that he was 6 feet deep and locked in a coffin with no way of escaping, unless someone purposely dug him out. Yet, you can’t think of a single person who would. Still, rumors spread like wildfire, and you’d be damned if you don’t try and get revenge.
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The California sun beats down on your back. The heat weighs you down, but not as much as the pain in your chest. He let you believe that he cared about you. He really fooled you into a sense of partnership, romance, but you really should’ve known. Cooper Howard is a lone wolf, nothing and nobody will stand in his way. 
The site of Filly in the distance is a welcoming sight. If anyone has seen anything, it would have been here. It doesn’t take you long to cross the remaining distance, sweat dripping down your back as you enter the market. 
“Haven’t seen ya in a while (Y/N).” A local merchant snides with a creepy smile, showcasing his rotten teeth. Walking over to your side, he runs a hand down your arm and you resist the urge to gag. “What are ye in town for?” 
“Information.” You eye the stairs that are being fixed, along with other wooden structures, a signature sign that he’s been here.
“Looking for your Ghoul, huh?” His face is offly close to yours and it’s enough for you to draw your gun, casually pressing it into his side, causing him to instantly back off. “He was here two days ago. Got in a firefight with a knight, seemed like he was after a bounty.” You scoff. Of course he is. Anything for those damn vials. Vials. At the thought of vials a malicious smile forms on your face. Sooner or later, he will need to get more, and you’ll be there when he does. 
Holstering your gun, you flip him a bottle cap in appreciation before stalking off, heading to the one place you know he will be.
By the time the sun sets, you’re settled in an abandoned building, low enough to the ground where you can see what’s coming, but high enough to be out of any immediate danger. Wrapping your arms around yourself tighter, you can’t help but to think about the times where you and him would be shoulder to shoulder, barely touching, but enough to make butterflies fly in your stomach.
Despite his ghoulish appearance, you find him to be quite handsome. His rugged cowboy exterior does barely enough to hide the last shred of humanity he has, and at times, it was directed towards you. With a sigh, you let your eyes shut, sleep easily consuming over you.
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“Please, let me go.” A feminine voice stirs you from your unconsciousness as your eyes blink against the harsh light of the sun. “Please, sir, I’m begging you.” Shuffling slightly, you peer your head past the concrete wall, spotting two figures, one in a blue/yellow vault-tec suit and the other in a cowboy hat with a lasso around the girl. 
“Well I’d be damned,” it’s hushed and to yourself, afraid of him hearing you and spotting you.
“I done told you vaultie, ain’t gonna happen. You deaf or sum?” His drawl sends chills down your spine as he nudges her forward with the tip of his gun. “Now hur-” his words are cut off by a coughing fit but his grip on the lasso remains. After regaining his breath, he wipes his mouth on the back of his sleeve. “Hurry up. I ain’t got all day.” You watch in silence as the pair walks past your hideout, unaware of your existence. Grabbing your things, you rush off after them, making sure to stay in the shadows as your brain goes through different scenarios of what could happen. Would you and Cooper make up? Would he try to kill you? Would you try to kill him? Does he even care? The closer they get to the supermart, the more you hang back, hand slightly hovering over your gun. 
Trying to listen to the conversation, you strain your ears but to no avail. Peeking over an abandoned car, you focus your eyes on the situation ahead of you, watching as he gestures for the girl to go through the sliding glass door. The minute they shut, he collapses on the ground and you resist the urge to go and help him. Sighing, you open the bag at your side, rummaging through a variety of equipment before your fingers run over the cool glass of the vials that keep him sane. “That’s just ironic,” you chuckle, looking back to him still laying on the ground, a slight tang of pity radiating through your chest. If there’s anything you hate about yourself, it’s that. You’re too soft for people who have no problem leaving you out to dry. 
You could confront him now, kick him while he’s down, but being dramatic is more fun. It’s useless trying to talk to him when he’s in that sorry state. 
An hour later and you’re still outside, covering from the sun and waiting for the right moment to make your appearance. The sight of the vaultie walking alone gathers your attention as you keep out of sight? Now how the hell did she manage to escape? You’re not an idiot, everyone and their mamas know that the SuperDuper Mart takes in bodies and harvests the organs, selling them to the highest bidder. So how on this God forsaken planet did she escape practically unscathed? As she walks further away you ponder the possibility that maybe you and everyone on the surface has really underestimated the ones who live below. 
Once she is out of sight, you rush out from your hiding spot and toward the mart, hoping to find him. “Well, he isn’t where I saw him last,” you huff out, drawing your gun from its holster as you walk through the glass door, keeping your eyes vigilant. With the mart being practically empty aside from overturned themed rides, it’s easy to hear a person stumbling around, knocking stuff over. 
By the time you spot him, his back is to you, head tipped slightly back as he downs a bottle of alcohol he found. The sound of you cocking your gun causes him to freeze in place, and if you were facing him, you would spot the smile on his face. 
“You ain’t gonna shoot me now, are ya?” Your silence is deafening and you don’t move an inch, not really sure if you would actually shoot him or not.  “Was wonderin’ when you were gonna find me.”
“It’s pretty easy to find a drug addicted ghoul these days, especially ones that have a penchant for the dramatics.” You keep your gun trained on his back as he slowly turns around, dropping the glass bottle and letting it shatter to the floor. 
“Me? Dramatic? I don’t think I’m the dramatic one sweetheart. You’re the one who came in here, guns blazing. I think you’re the dramatic one.” He takes a step forward, and another, and another, until his chest is pressed right against the nozzle of your gun. “Now why don’t you put your gun down and give Coop a big ki-” your gun whacks across his face, tearing the flesh slightly only for it to heal right away, causing him to growl. His gloved hand reaches up and wraps around your throat, hoisting you against the wall while you struggle in his grasp. “That’s no way to greet me. Where are your manners?” He asks, his southern accent penetrating each word.
“Fucker,” raising a leg, you kick between his with all you can muster and spit on his face, the shock being enough to let you loose and allowing you to slip out. 
He looks at you for a second before laughing sadistically, using his thumb to collect your spit and put it in his mouth, closing his eyes as if he was savoring it. “I missed you kitten.”
Scoffing, you holster your gun and take a seat on the couch, turning your attention to the tv where you spot a young, handsome, human Cooper Howard on the screen. “Really Coop? You’re that full of yourself?”
Shrugging his shoulders, he plops down next to you before taking another bottle and giving that a swig. “Was the only half decent shit in this hell hole,” at the mention of the place, you take a proper look around, bodies laying everywhere, some human, some ghoul, and even a robot.
“The fuck happened here?”
“Was traveling with a vault dweller, traded her for some vials but I guess she didn’t take too well to the idea of her organs being sold,” he comments nonchalantly, twisting off the cap of a vial and draining the liquid into his mouth while you look at him like he grew two heads. 
“You’re meaning to tell me that that vault dweller managed to do all this?”
“Did I stutter?” Now you know you really underestimated the people in the vaults. You honestly wonder if they’re all like this or is she just some random four leaf clover. “Why’d you come in here raisin hell anyway?”
Leaning back on the couch, you look forward to the tv, trying to concentrate on the handsome man on the screen instead of the one sitting next to you, “heard you were dead.”
“The details of my death have been greatly exaggerated. Still doesn’t answer my question,” he looks at you with a look that says ‘I frankly don’t give a shit’ but something deep down inside of you tells you that he does. 
“I’m pissed as hell that you left me. I thought we were partners?” Rolling his eyes, he laps at a random white powder laying on the table before leaning back.
“Don’t get your panties in a twist. Didn’t see a need to stick around. You got what you wanted and I got what I wanted. Seemed like a fair trade.” 
A sigh escapes your mouth as you take the bottle from his one hand and downed it, scrunching your nose as the alcohol burns down your throat and lights a fire in your stomach. How can he be so naive? You had initially joined him when you were both after the same group of people, but for vastly different reasons. He had wanted the large bounty on the head of the leader and you wanted to find your past lover, but somewhere along the route to finding them you developed feelings for the Ghoul sitting next to you, and you thought he developed them too. You initially didn’t spot him when the shooting started, too occupied with the Ghoul pressing his back against yours, the two of you working in tandem. Everything happened so fast and before you knew it, you were the only one shooting back at the group of people, most of them lying dead and your companion nowhere to be seen. The bounty was also gone.
He had left you on your own and it hurt. It also didn’t help that once the shooting was over and you remained, you found your former lover in the arms of another. It’s true that you found who you wanted, but at what cost? Was it really your lover than you wanted or was it Cooper Howard, the Ghoul, who you wanted?
Realistically, you know the answer. It’s pretty obvious by the way that when you heard he was alive, you practically dropped everything in pursuit of him. Taking another swig of the alcohol you ponder over your next course of actions. Should you admit your feelings for him or should you leave it? Looking back at the tv, you watch the former Cooper Howard get down from his horse, gun in hand and hat tipped ever so slightly over his eyes, much like how the man next to you does. He’s never going to be the same man again, you know that, but maybe he still has the ability to love? “I love you, you know?”
Cooper looks over to you with a puzzled look on his face before it goes blank and your heart sinks. If there was any sort of superpower you could have right now, it would 100% be mind reading. “You’re stupid.” 
“Right. Yep. Totally.” You’re pissed. You took a gamble and lost. Laid your heart on the line only for it to be destroyed. Swallowing down your pride, you get up from your seat and holster your gun, taking a couple of vials for safe keeping. “Have a good life Coop.” You don’t bother turning back, tears welling in your eyes. How could you have been so stupid? Of course he doesn’t return the feeling. You kick the dead body out of your way, too overwhelmed with your emotions to realize that he is calling your name. A hand wrapping around your wrist stirs you from your thoughts as he hand spins you around to face him, a soft look gracing his features.
“I ain’t finished,” it’s soft. Softer than anything you’ve ever heard from him but you yank your hand away, rebuilding the walls around your heart.
“I don’t wanna he-” he cuts you off with a rough kiss against your lips, his arms wrapping around your body and holding you close as his scarred lips move against yours. The kiss is rough, demanding, but also loving, intimate. It’s enough to make you dizzy. Pulling away, he keeps you in his grasp as you look up at him through blown eyes, trying to figure out what he’s playing at. “Coop?”
“Shh darlin’. You didn’t let me finish. I said you’re stupid. Stupid for loving someone like me. I’m no good for anyone, especially you, you should know this.” You can tell by the restraint in his voice that he fully means what he’s telling you. Smiling softly, you dust off his duster and pull on his vest, straightening out his clothes as he watches you, not really sure what to make of your intentions. 
“Y’know, there was this one cowboy I met years ago and when I asked how he survived as long as he has and you know what he told me?”
“What’s that?”
“We take it as it comes.” He closes the bridge between the two of you with his mouth against yours, this time it’s more eager. Taking in your bottom lip, he bites hard enough to draw blood, causing you to gasp in surprise. Using that to his advantage, his tongue slips in, exploring every crevice of the mouth that he’s longed for.
“Well ain’t this sweet. We have a ghoul and a ghoulfucker. I wonder what that sex looks like,” you and Cooper pull away abruptly, you eye the three men in sheriff uniforms while Cooper scowls, annoyed by their presence. Moving towards them, Cooper raises his hands in false surrender while you get behind his back, one hand reaching for his shotgun and the other reaching for your own gun, ready to draw at any moment. 
“What can I do for you folks?” The three men eye each other before pointing their guns at Cooper, you still standing behind him, ready to take on each of them.
“Destroying a legitimate business? That’s illegal around these parts,” one speaks up, aviators covering his eyes as he moves around to get a better view of you. “My my, don’t tell me this pretty little thing did all this damage. Why don’t you raise your hands sweetheart, let’s see that gorgeous figure.” 
If looks could kill, that man would be 12 feet under and blasted to high heaven with the biggest nuke Cooper could find. “I’d be careful if I were you, she may be pretty, but she's also a pint sized atom bomb.” His head tilts, telling you all that you needed to know. Reaching for your gun, you quickly shoot the two companions as Cooper lunges for the man who dared to flirt with you. Kicking the gun away from reach, Cooper wraps his hand around the throat of the sheriff and hoists him in the air while you loot their supplies. Turning the men around, you cut their pants off, leaving their backside exposed for Cooper to take his fair share of ass jerky. The man in his grasp squirms at the site of his counterparts being exposed, but Cooper’s grip doesn’t falter.
“Why are you sick freaks doing this?” The man continues to struggle in Cooper’s grasp, hands trying to claw away at skin but to no avail as you load your gun, sliding over to the duo. 
“Wanna do the honors sweetheart?” It’s rare that Cooper offers anybody anything, let alone a kill and it takes you a minute to process his proposal.
“We do this for the love of the game.” A gunshot rings out while the man goes limp in Cooper’s hand, brains splattered on the floor below you. Dropping the man, Cooper’s eyes flit to your body, chest rising and falling as you come off the adrenaline high. 
“Now that was hot as hell sweetheart. You sure know how to make an impression on an old man.” 
“Is that right?”
“‘m afraid so.” His eyes watch as you begin to unbuckle your armor, letting it fall from your frame to the floor.
“Then come and get me cowboy.”
@reveluving
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sweetkpopmusings · 26 days ago
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miserable (you & me) | s. changbin <3
a/n: i currently have a long weekend thanks to the thanksgiving holiday, so i'm in a bit of a writing frenzy. since i just posted some ateez fluff, i figured i should give into the stray kids angst demon again >:^) please enjoy a moment with changbin <3 pics not mine~
content: angst, happy ending | wc: 1.4k | warnings: none really! | pairing: changbin x gn!reader | requests:open
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˚ʚ♡ɞ˚
어떻게든 같이 걸어가려, I feel so tired but I can't give you up, my babe / “somehow try to walk with you / i feel so tired but i can’t give you up my babe”
changbin stared at some indiscernible object in the distance–or, rather, the direction opposite you–biding time until he absolutely had to respond to the information you just shared. sure, he was happy for you, but he couldn’t ignore the burning in the back of his throat as he tried to say encouraging words. the inner conflict was eating him alive, yet he felt he had no other choice than to be here and listen, like any good friend would. 
it wasn’t the first time he had been in this position. he ended up here, again and again, because he didn’t know how to get out of it. behind every i’m rooting for you and they’d be crazy not to say “yes” was an i can’t get you out of my head, you know? every time i look at you, i feel my whole self coming undone, only being put back together when you look at me begging to be said. but he couldn’t. changbin wished he could. he practically pleaded with himself each time he saw you to finally say something. changbin pretended it wasn’t his fear of you rejecting him that held him back. he swore that once he had figured out the right words, he would find the right moment, and then, once everything fell into place, he would bare his soul to you. changbin convinced himself he wasn’t a coward by reminding himself that someone as perfect as you deserved the perfect confession. even if it meant he spent years hiding and hurting. 
“changbin? did i lose you there?” the corners of your mouth upturned as you gently and playfully waved your hand in front of his face.
instinctively he smiled back, laughing a little despite the growing pang in his chest, “no, no, i’m right here.”
“good! because i haven’t gotten to the best part of the story yet,” you grinned before continuing to tell changbin all about the cute interaction shared between you and the coworker you were crushing on.
he couldn’t believe the beaming look in your eyes could hurt him so much. jealousy would do that though: make something so beautiful of yours hurt because he wasn’t the one igniting that beauty. that wouldn’t stop him from relishing in it though. your energy, your presence, it was always a gift, even if it broke his heart.
“so that’s when i figured, what the hell? i asked them out right then and there. they got flustered–it was so cute–and then they said ‘yes!’ we’re going out this saturday. can you help me pick out my outfit?”
changbin, who always turned to putty when he saw your puppy-dog eyes, let out a breathy laugh, “yeah, sure, i can help pick out the outfit that will get them to fall in love with you, just so they can break your heart in a few months like everyone else.”
changbin’s face filled with shock and regret before you could finish processing his words. it hurt you, but, judging by the slump in changbin’s shoulders, what he said hurt him even more.
“i’m so sorry for snapping, y/n, i–”
“no, it’s fine. i talk about them too much. i’m sure you’re tired of hearing me ramble on about all my crushes, especially when my dating life is so unlucky,” you forced a smile, aware that changbin saw right through you, as he always did, “i should probably go, so you don’t have to suffer through my rambling any longer.”
the way changbin looked at you kept you frozen in place. you wanted to turn and walk away before tears slipped down your cheeks, or, worse, before either of you said something that would hurt the other. but the way changbin watched you, the way his breath staggered, the way his eyes revealed he had no intention of every looking away from you…it all kept your feet firmly planted on the ground. 
changbin, knees weak and trembling, felt adrenaline coursing through his body. he stood in front of you, hands in his pockets, unsure if this was the moment to finally reach out to you. when he saw you break your gaze away from him to glance toward your route home, he knew, deep down, that it was now or never. he may have already ruined things by snapping. he figured it was better to ruin your friendship by showing you how much you were loved, rather than leaving you hurt with harsh words.
“y/n,” changbin took a deep breath when your eyes once again locked with his, “that was rude, and i hope you know that i never get annoyed by your rambling. i could hear you talk forever, even if it’s about someone you like, as long as that someone makes you happy. i just…it can be hard for me sometimes because…well…i like you. i have liked you for so long, but the timing never feels right, and everyone else seems to have the courage i don’t because you keep ending up with other people. if you’re happy, i’m happy. i guess i just can’t hide it anymore. i like you. i always will.”
changbin paused, eyes brimming with tears, and he mustered up a smile so you didn’t feel forced to comfort him, “i know you like them, your coworker. if your feelings for me aren’t the same, that’s fine. or, i mean, i at least can live with it, as long as you’re still my friend. i can’t give you up. if you need time away from me because of this, i understand. i hope this hasn’t made things too weird. i hope, more than anything, that we can still be friends. a life without you just doesn’t feel like the right life for me.”
you bit your lip, keeping yourself quiet until changbin finished. it was only fair to let him ramble after you had been talking his ear off all night. then, once you were sure he had said everything he meant to, you smiled. changbin, despite himself, let hope bloom in his chest when he saw the smile grow on your face.
“changbin,” you shook your head, laughing quietly in disbelief, “why didn’t you say something sooner? i like you more than everyone else.”
changbin’s eyes got so big you couldn’t do anything other than giggle. a few words from you, and he looked like he was over the moon.
“you…like me?”
“of course, changbin. are you free saturday? i just have to cancel some plans, but then i’m all yours.”i’m all yours turned changbin’s chest into a fireworks show, so, rather than answering you, he broke into a fit of giggles and wrapped you into his arms. he was, always and forever, all yours. he did not need any courage to tell you that, over and over and over again.
˚ʚ♡ɞ˚
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shunsuiken · 8 months ago
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I JUST CAN’T LEAVE YOU ALONE, CAN WE GET EVEN CLOSER?
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pairing. kamisato ayato x gn!bodyguard!reader
genre. fluff for the most part + does get suggestive tho 😁
synopsis. the yashiro commissioner resorts to a scandalous method to get your attention.
wc. 1.5k (i know its short but i wanted to get straight to the point LMAO)
an. guys this is so dumb but one thing that popped up in my head while writing this is that tiktok of that girl going i slowly started to be seducted by him like he’s trying to SEDUCE me 😭😭😭 omg that shits so fuckin funny
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“you’re too far away, y/n.”
your eye twitches as you stare at the wooden door. he’s teasing you. a filthy load of shamelessness drips in his tone. an arm rises so he can relax his cheek in his palm, eyeing your figure that has been standing in front of the door this whole time.
you realise why he’s decided to open his mouth after five minutes of dead silence.
you’re not looking at him.
“y/n, i said you’re too far away.” his voice is louder this time. it sounds closer to a command.
“i am standing at an appropriate distance from you, my lord.” you’re staring laser beams into the door at this point. “feel free to attend to your bathing requirements independently.”
ayato scoffs. a shiver crawls up your spine.
“it was my understanding that you, my personal bodyguard, were informed about the injuries i sustained during the failed fatui assassination attempt.” drawing circles in the water with the tip of his index finger, he sighs, “sadly, my current physical state renders me incapable of attending to my bathing requirements.”
“so i would be most grateful for your assistance.” you can practically see the grin on his lips, devilish and scheming.
before ayato picks up the bathing cloth, you’ve already given in, practically attaching your eyes to the bathtub as you sit on the stool provided for you. taking the cloth, you dip it in the water to soak it up before gently gliding it across his shoulders with shaky hands.
“ah, there we go. now wasn’t that easy?” ayato turns his face towards you, now showing more of his naked back—wet and glistening in all its glory.
you feel you might faint.
you hum in agreement, holding onto that blasted bathing cloth for dear life. ayato seems to notice and turns his whole body towards you out of curiosity, but your head snaps in the other direction instead!
“y/n, how will you help me bathe if you’re facing that way?” you can hear the water splash around the stone material of the tub. it drips down the side, slowly sliding towards the stone floor.
you’re his bodyguard. you’re his bodyguard. this wasn’t part of the job description—so why are you even here?!
“my lord, i find it difficult to provide assistance if you keep moving,” you respond indifferently, maintaining some level of professionalism despite how this situation has broken all levels of it.
from the corner of your eye, you can vaguely see his hair sticking to his collarbones and shoulders. ayato knows you can see him like this. so there’s simply no point in acting such a way. but he laughs, humoured by your behaviour anyway. “oh please drop the formalities. i am merely an injured man before you.”
a naked, injured man. you correct him silently.
“mm.” you don’t really know what else to say. how were you supposed to explain any of this to anybody if they caught you leaving the bathing hall with him?!
you soak up the wash cloth once more, beginning to clean him up again. avoiding all eye contact and opportunities of skinship turns out to be much more difficult than you thought. however, when it’s time to clean his chest area, you wordlessly pass the cloth back to him.
“hm?” he looks at you. “what about over here?” he asks, pointing at his chest shamelessly.
you gape at him—oh, you’re finally looking at him now. and you wish you didn’t.
ayato is so utterly gorgeous. cheeks dusted in a shade of pink from the steam and his lips, moistened and sanguine. he would have been recognised as a deity were it not for his mortal disposition.
ayato rather takes pleasure in this look on your face. baffled, stunned, dumbfounded—this list could go on! what he finds interesting though, is that your eyes never seem to go past his shoulders. and, ayato, being quite fond of his cute and adorable bodyguard, has to tease you.
“this is as far as i will go,” you inhale, feeling like your mask of indifference will crumble within seconds. “my lord, it would be inappropriate for me to assist you in this area.”
ayato’s brows raise in excitement, revelling in how you try to stay professional. you’re doing a much better job than he would’ve expected—if it were anybody else, they would have been seduced right away.
but it’s you that the lord is playing with. and he intends to play with you until he is satisfied.
“but you’ve already come this far, why not do the rest while you’re at it?” your bottom lip quivers.
ayato figures that he’ll need to try something else to get your attention to where it needs to be.
you gasp when he takes your hand in his, gently pulling you towards him until you’re sitting on the edge of the stone tub. your uniform is dampened as you sit on the edge but you can care less when ayato peers up at you with those lavender eyes.
“m- my lord, what do you intend to do?” you curse yourself silently for stuttering. the vapour from the bath water makes your cheeks hot and sticks your hair to your forehead.
kind of looks like you could use a bath too. ayato makes a brief comment in his mind, his thumb caressing the back of your hand as he ponders on a response.
“get in the bath with me.”
a moment passes by. you swear you have never heard a more ridiculous request than this. for the past few years you’ve dealt with his unique appetite, his clothing requirements and his… special personality but this request is the first one that renders you speechless.
“what?”
“get in the bath with me,” ayato repeats, firmer this time.
you’ve lost feeling in your legs ever since he took your hand, but it’s not long before you’re soaked in bath water—with ayato there to soften the fall as your hands instinctively grab onto his shoulders. you land with an oompf, fingers wiping droplets on your face, unfortunately missing the biggest grin on your boss’ lips.
“there, that was not so difficult, was it?” his voice is much closer by your ear now, sending a wave of chills down your spine.
you hesitantly meet his eyes, behind those pretty lashes and soft sky blue hair that clings to his forehead and cheeks. “wasn’t,” you mutter as your gaze shakes in your stare. you fear that if you tear your eyes away from him again he’ll do something else even more ridiculous.
the water swooshes and you fall onto your butt when ayato finds himself on top of your lap. you can feel his thighs just gently pressing against your own which is making you wonder how you haven’t already lost consciousness.
but it’s also making you think about things you never would’ve thought you would think about.
is ayato, your employer, trying to seduce you?!
you try to think of something to say. anything. doesn’t matter how random it could be. you inhale sharply, “so did you actually have work to do or did you just want me to loiter around you?”
“not to ‘loiter’,” ayato chuckles at your word choice while you think you’ve heard heaven’s gates fly right open. “but to ‘accompany’. i did indeed have work to complete but such a mind-numbing task becomes more bearable with you around.” he traces your cheek with the pad of his thumb, palm just ghosting over your ear. “do you know how adorable you look when you’re sitting by the door with that straight look on your face?”
“that is my job, my lord.” you don’t lean away from his touch. a good sign for him. “i didn’t think i would be such a distraction, if you would like, i could relocate just outsi-”
it’s featherlight. barely even a kiss. just a gentle brush of his lips over yours. but that miniscule feeling is like a fire and it burgeons in your chest, melting away the cold iceberg of your doubts and worries. there is no turning back now. it’s like your hand has grown a mind of its own when it wraps around ayato’s neck, pulling him closer so his lips collide with yours again.
“oh dear,” ayato mutters lowly. his hair tickles your cheek. “are my feelings being reciprocated?”
your lips are like magnets to his. it makes you grin at the revelation of your own emotions. “i fear you’ve successfully seduced me, my lord.” ayato smiles as your gaze flickers between his eyes and lips.
being caged between his arms has to be considered some sort of sport for your heart. the last time it threatened to leap out of your chest like this was during the official selection of ayato’s bodyguards.
“that makes a fine headline for the steambird, don’t you think?” ayato keeps his lips close to yours, doing everything he can in his power to not crash his lips onto yours again. and so pathetically too. “‘bodyguard allegedly seduced by the yashiro commissioner’.”
“indeed. now wouldn’t that shake things up here in inazuma,” you laugh, cupping your hands in the water to pour over what you can onto his shoulders. “well now that you’re all cleaned up, don’t you think you should get ready for bed?”
ayato gives you a pointed look. “will you dress me?”
“i-” you shouldn’t even pretend like you’re surprised by this. nodding your head, you reassure him, “that can be arranged.”
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not-neverland06 · 6 months ago
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Crash of Worlds
Previous part / Next part
Cooper Howard x fem!reader, The Ghoul x fem!reader A/N: After this there’s gonna be more canon divergence - this one’s short (rope divider done by @saradika-graphics , cowboy hat/revolvers done by @firefly-graphics) Summary: You’d been expecting everything to be different, people, to be different. But not like this. Not to such an extreme extent. Maybe the vault had softened you more than you’d have liked but there was nothing to do about it now.
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The green canopy of the forest provides a welcome relief from the heat. You and Lucy follow the signs pointing the way to Filly. You hear it before you ever get to see it. There’s a distant sound of yelling and the murmur of people. It has your heart clenching in your chest. 
You’re outside, breathing in real air, not oxygen from tanks. You can feel the breeze in your hair and hear people. It’s all you wanted for three years. Bud prepared you for a lot. But he didn’t prepare you for just how jarring it is to wake up and suddenly everything you’ve ever known is gone. You don’t feel the years you’ve been asleep. It was like it happened yesterday. 
But you’ve had three years to come to peace with what had happened. You can’t let yourself get wrapped up in this feeling of nostalgia. The raiders that came down to the vault were proof enough that the people you’re going to meet up here aren’t going to be anywhere near friendly. You know this world has turned into dog-eat-dog, Lucy doesn’t yet, though. 
She walks towards a large grove of abandoned cars. The paint has flaked off and the glass smashed in, but they’re not in horrible condition for being two hundred odd years old. You're distracted by the convertible she stands next to and you gasp. 
You rush forward, hand smoothing over the hood and grinning at the familiar feel. “I-”
You cut yourself off abruptly and Lucy looks over at you, a curious smile on her face. “What is it?”
You shake your head, “Nothing. Just excited to see civilization again.” You give her a terse smile, hoping she doesn’t smell the lie. You’d almost said that it was exactly like your old car. But that would have opened up a can of worms you weren’t ready for. 
She groans, linking her arm through yours and nodding. “I know, me too. The surface is definitely not what I was expecting.”
You sigh, glancing back at the car before stepping towards Filly. “Yeah, me either.” 
The noise reaches a crescendo as you finally manage to make your way into the market. There’s still signs directing you further through the woods so you figure this must not be Filly yet. Probably just a little place where people tried to peddle junk. 
A man lurches out at you holding out a kebab and grinning widely. “DOG MEAT!” You jump back in shock as he screams in your face. His eyes are unseeing as he waves the kebab around. “GET YOUR DOGMEAT HERE!” 
“Oh, what the fuck?” You mutter, you didn’t mean dog-eat-dog literally. You notice you and Lucy getting odd looks and you finally realize just how much the two of you stand out. In comparison, you're both well groomed and much cleaner than anyone here. 
Not only that but you’ve got the stupid Pip-Boy’s on your arm and vault suits on. You’re walking advertisements of “Come rob me!” You steer Lucy further through the market, narrowly avoiding a lizard meat stall and dragging her towards a tunnel at the end of the path. Filly’s just beyond and you shove her through the opening, eager to get somewhere where you might be able to find something useful. 
You seperate with the promise to meet back up in the middle of the town square. You’re going to look for something to change into and she’ll find some information on her father. Should be easy enough. 
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He’s not supposed to be here. He’d gotten himself and all of his kind banned a long time ago. An impressive feat, considering how lawless Filly is. But no one’s going to say anything to him, no one ever has before. 
Any other ghoul and they would have been dragged right back out before they could even put a foot through the tunnel. But he’s not any ghoul, he’s the ghoul. And no one in their right mind is going to be the one to start a fight they’ve got no fucking hope of winning. 
He rolls the empty vial of RadAway around in his hand, hat tipped down as he waits for his mark to show up. Ma June, cantankerous old bitch that she is, always has good supplies. But she doesn’t sell to ghouls, and if he didn’t need her alive right now he would have shot her for turning him away. She’s a well known fence for fugitives and bounties. If his mark is going to show up anywhere, it’s going to be right here. 
Most of the people who try their hand at bounty hunting do it for the experience. They get bored, not that he can fucking blame them. After a while staring at nothing but sand and chickens makes a man go a little crazy. They don’t understand that it’s all a waiting game. 
Sometimes it’s an exhilarating chase, like a predator tracking down its prey. But more often than not he’s just waiting for a slip up. A mistake from whoever has a price on their head is usually what lands them in his hands. And the second this man decided to use Ma June as a transport was when he made his mistake. Everyone knows that Barv can’t keep her mouth shut for shit. 
When someone decides Ma June can help them, everyone knows where they are. It’s a big bounty, enough to keep anyone with a normal life cycle sated for the rest of their life. For him, it’s all about the hunt. The wait, that look in their eyes when they realize they're trapped and there’s nowhere left for them to turn. He loves it when he’s got them cornered. 
There’s a desperation to them that makes the capture all the more sweeter.  
There’s two bright flashes of blue against the otherwise dreary countenance of Filly. He doesn’t look up much, still trying not to draw too much attention to himself. He sees one, brown hair and wide eyed as she takes in the sights. Fucking vaulties. 
It’s been a while since he’s taken one of their bounties. Their tech was pretty valuable among surface dwellers and when one was spotted, which was rare, there was usually a good price on their head. He can only catch the back of the other one, her face blocked by a conveniently placed support beam next to him. 
She stops by the clothing stall, waving her friend along and speaking to the woman who runs the booth. Good fucking luck to her. There was no haggling with that woman and her prices were fucking ridiculous. He wonders how long it will be until he sees those two on the poster in some bar somewhere. He’s sure when the time comes, he’ll enjoy taking them too. 
His gaze goes back to Ma June’s shop, interest already waned in the rare vault dweller. They were never all that fun. Never had any good information and always had a stick up their ass about morals and being a “good” person. 
Finally, his mark turns up. Blind to the danger lurking behind him. 
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You’re in a really shitty spot when the fighting starts. You’re overwhelmed by everything around you. Freaks in wacky ass clothes peddling their mutated animals and fucking teeth. Teeth. 
Teeth and bottle caps, that’s the currency now. Who decided that bottle caps were a good idea? Or teeth for that matter. You’ve only got so many of them. You don’t even want to think about what they’re getting used for.
The woman in front of you only has four of her own left and she’s demanding three of yours for a shirt. You’re not well versed in the economy of the wasteland, but even you’re sure that three teeth is a ridiculous ask. From the way people keep glaring at you as they walk by, you’re sure that she thinks because you’re from a vault you’re going to be gullible. 
You’re too caught up in your quickly escalating argument to realize what’s happening until it’s too late. A man stands in the center of the square, his back to you. You can tell from your view that he’s pretty badly burned, the skin around his neck and skull warped and twisted. 
He’s yelling about a bounty and your head tilts in confusion. There’s something to the lilt of that accent that sounds familiar. You take a step forward, abandoning the clothing stall and trying to place how you know him. It’s impossible, really, that anyone recognizable would still be alive. But maybe someone else got out of a vault and made it to the surface. If they did, it clearly wasn’t unscathed. 
It’s only when he pulls out his gun that you realize Lucy is standing in front of him, with the man that bothered her last night. You want to call out her name, try and catch her eye, but the last thing you need is him pointing that gun at you. You jump back in shock as he shoots the man’s foot off, eyes widening, and feet scrambling backwards. 
The woman in the clothing stall hisses, “Fucking ghoul,” and makes a run for it. You watch her go, finally realizing just how empty the square is now. Everyone has left, all of them terrified by the man in black. Your eyes dart between him and the stall. 
She’s gone, and you need clothes. You’ll deal with Lucy’s scolding later. You leap over the counter of the stall and begin to rifle through the woman’s stock. Stuffing any spare clothes you think will fit into your pack and just because she was such a horrid bitch, you steal her bag of caps too. 
The crazy old lady by the shop screams out a reward for anyone who manages to kill the man in front of you. When the guns start going off you realize just how screwed you are. You’re in the middle of the town square. Granted, you are blocked by the clothing stall, but these bullets they’re using aren’t ordinary. 
They’re getting holes blown clean through their chest and the buildings around them are damn near exploding from the impact. The measly little wooden stall isn’t going to be any sort of decent cover against them. 
You risk another look over the counter, hoping to find a clear path to Lucy or at least some better cover. He’s finally turned around now and you can get a half decent glance at his side profile. There’s nothing truly recognizable about him, just familiar. It’s hard to really tell anything about him when he doesn’t have a nose. 
You watch with wide eyes and a disbelieving expression as he takes three shots to the chest like it’s nothing. He keeps chewing on his tomatoes and slowly finding cover to reload. A ghoul. Hank and Betty had told you and the other’s about them. People poisoned by radiation. 
Most of them turn feral, but those who can find the right chems live a lot longer than any normal human should. They heal nearly immediately and are almost invulnerable to anything except their own disease. Considering how quick on the draw this guy is, no one has any real hope of taking him down. 
With the shooting redirected you leap out from behind the counter and rush towards the shop. But something stops you before you reach the door. You don’t know what it is, what connects in your brain that has you so harshly coming to a stop. 
You whirl around, ignoring the way Lucy calls out your name. He’s back out from his cover now. He aims, grinning and laughing as he manages to get two people with one bullet. Carnage is all around you. Blood flying through the air, surrounded by blood and guts. The relatively peaceful downtown has been littered with dead. 
And in the middle of it all stands him. You have to be wrong. There’s no fucking way he’s standing in front of you. You take a step forward and his head whips towards you. The rest of him isn’t recognizable, but you would know those eyes anywhere. 
His eyes widen with surprise and you feel your gut drop to your feet. This can’t be him. There’s no way. He’s slaughtering these people like it’s nothing. The man you knew could never be so casual about this. Then again, the relationship you’d had was built on lies. Maybe you’d never really known him. 
Before you can process the anger in his face you’re being jerked to the side. Lucy pants as she drags you into the shop and you look over your shoulder, shocked to find a bullet where you’d just been standing. You catch his eye, see the smoke coming from the barrel of his gun and realize he’d tried to fucking shoot you.
Shit, maybe it is him. He had always had a bad temper and a good aim. 
You can feel his eyes, tracking you even as you disappear behind the walls of the shop. You and Lucy risk a peek out of the shop when you hear something like an explosion. You gape as a power suit lands in front of him. What twisted ass blast to the past have you just been sent to?
How the fuck was Cooper Howard, ghoulified, and a power suit both in the same area? 
You had to be dreaming. There was no way this was happening. But it was, and whoever was in charge of that suit had no idea what they were doing. He’s ducking under their swinging metal arms, taunting them and drawing out the fight. He could end this now, you both know where the weakness is. 
Hell, you could end this fight right now. But you don’t see the need to kill the Knight when it’s clear he’s trying to protect you and Lucy. “We need to get him,” Lucy points frantically to the man on the ground. He’s not really moving, just clutching the bloody nub where his foot used to be and looking astonished at the blood around him. 
“This is really stupid,” you hiss as you both start forward and wrap an arm around one of his own. You don’t have much time to process what happens next. 
“Watch out!” The knight barrels towards you both. He wraps his arms around Lucy and goes flying into a building. You jump back at the explosion of wood and metal flying down around you. The ghoul has his gun pointed at them both. He’d clearly been trying to snipe you both, get you away from the man on the ground. 
Well, he could fucking have him. You drop the man to the ground and he grunts as you make a run for it. A coward’s move, the same one you admonished Norm for. But, you’re a fucking hypocrite, so what? Right now, you’d really just like to survive this gun fight unscathed. 
Something lands near your foot and you jump, realizing it’s a bullet. You glance up and the ghoul is laughing at you, full on belly laughing as he shoots around you. You realize with a start that he’s playing with you. Taunting you like a man who’s got all the time in the world. But you can’t stop running. If you stop, those bullets are going to catch up with you. 
You keep going, legs pumping and heart racing as you’re separated more and more from Lucy. The mission, the whole reason you came up to the surface, is lost on you. You can only focus on one thing, surviving. You keep running, through alleyways and around buildings until you’re back in the woods. The whole time his laughter is following you. 
The sharp noise of something whistling through the air reaches your ears and then something snaps against you. You glance down, only a moment to process the rope over your arms before he’s dragging you back. Your head hits the ground with a harsh snap, the motion slamming your teeth together and nearly biting off the tip of your tongue. 
You groan in dazed pain and then he’s slowly dragging you back. One sharp tug after another, rocks ripping at your suit and scalp, hair ripped out underneath your back. Until, finally, he’s peering over you, face upside down and lips twisted up into a strained smile. 
“Well, there you are, sweetheart.”
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end. — I do not own the characters or the game/show Fallout, but this writing is my own all rights reserved © not-neverland06 2024. do not copy, repost, translate & recommend elsewhere.
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daechwitatamic · 6 months ago
Text
Vice;Grip || chapter 5 || chs
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(banner by @itaeewon)
Vice;Grip (masterpost) NSFW - minors DNI Genre: angst smut fluff, fuckbuddies!au Summary: Make it not hurt, you could have asked him. Or, at least, make it hurt in a way I choose.  A/N: infinite thank you's to @sailoryooons and @eoieopda for beta-ing!!
//
Warnings: Frequent depictions of depression, depressive episodes, panic attacks, and substance abuse (alcohol, weed, and pills referenced). PLEASE know that these characters’ relationships with drugs and alcohol are not healthy and should not be emulated. If these topics are triggering to you, please consider sitting this one out.
Section Specific Warnings: language, depictions of depression and depressive episodes, mentions of doctors' offices and medication, angst, mentions of attending therapy, recreational drinking, kissing
wc: 6.9k
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Playlist: you can call me in the middle of the night / you can leave before i wake up in the morning / and it could feel so wrong / but i'll still hold on
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Now - Fall
Vernon’s watching his ceiling fan when his phone chimes - a noise he isn’t fond of: incoming email.
For the last few months, his emails have all been from recruiting directors and head-hunters - either thanking him for his interest but regretfully informing him they’ve gone in a different direction, or head-hunters pretending they found him a great opportunity when it was really an underpaid, short-term position where he’d spend more on his commute into the city than he’d ever earn.
It’s been real fun. He sucked it up and finished grad school, threw his diploma behind a cheap frame, added the degree to his resume. Quit going to classes (because there weren’t any), quit spending whole nights on assignments (none of those anymore either), and still - he finds himself no happier than he’d been before, even with all the free time in the world. So maybe, he considers, grad school wasn’t the problem, and he’d done the right thing to just push through and finish.
On top of this - on top of the fact that he was still bored with life, still unenthused to be here - the break-up has sucked, just to make things even bleaker for him.
Can he even call it a break-up? You were never together. But it’s been nine days since he made you cry in his car - not that he’s counting - and all nine of them have fucking sucked. He’s wrestled with indecision for all of them - did he make a mistake? Should he try to undo the damage? Wasn’t what he had with you still better than being alone?
But he knows this will be better for him in the end. He knows that what you two were doing together wasn’t real, wasn’t a relationship. It couldn’t grow with him - it was stagnant by nature. So, even though something in his bones screams at him to take it back, in the end he doesn’t regret the decision to try and do something better.
He does regret that he can’t do something better with you. He regrets that he lost his temper and yelled, regrets that he was cold in his last moments with you.
Regrets that he spent two years walking towards a dead end.
Still misses you, despite this.
He picks up his phone and scrolls to his email, already feeling the frown take over his face in anticipation of another rejection. As expected, the email is from a company he’d interviewed with last week - he’d even gotten to a second in-person round, which was rare. Still, he hadn’t wanted to get excited about it. He knows how unlikely it is that they’ll want him.
Dear Mr. Chwe,
Our team was delighted to meet with you last week. We found your background impressive, especially your internship experience with -
Vernon’s eyes skim the page, so fast the words are a blur. 
…Would like to formally offer you the position of… annual salary of… additional opportunities within the company including traveling to… working with… reporting to… expected start date of… we are looking forward to having you on our team!
Vernon’s heart thuds and he turns the screen off and stares at his ceiling again. He’ll answer it later, accept it graciously, call his eomma, probably shop online for some button-downs and maybe some ties. Later, though. Later. For now, he reaches for his lighter.
He kind of wishes he could tell you - hey, I got a job offer. hey, guess who gets to wear a suit five days a week now? hey, all that bullshit paid off in the end.
Would he have texted you any of that if he hadn’t ended things? You’d never talked about this kind of thing - that had been part of the problem.
Still. As illogical as it is, you’re the one Vernon wants to tell first. It aches a little, like sore muscles but somewhere inside him, behind his brittle ribs.
He wonders if you’re doing okay. He wonders if you care at all, or if you’re fine. He turns his lighter over and over in his fingers, and then realizes he’s just read the words contingent on... drug test…
“Fuck,” he grumbles, then picks up his phone again. Maybe he’ll call his mother first, after all.
You were never a big fan of autumn. A lot of your friends are - the season shifts and everyone starts posting about sweater weather and PSLs, the aesthetics suddenly revolving around pumpkins and ghosts.
You have plenty of ghosts, but not the right kind.
Your phantoms haunt your phone, mostly. You feel it buzz in your pocket, hear it vibrate on the table from the other room. Sometimes you even wake up from a dead sleep, sure you’ve heard it going off, reaching for it frantically, only to turn on the screen and see nothing. 
No missed calls, no new texts.
You dream about him, too. In some of them, you’re still fighting, yelling at the top of your lungs in a way you never had in real life. In some, he isn’t even present - you just know he’s missing. In some, you’re trying to get to him, but never can - stopped by nonsense laws of dream physics.
In one of them, you tell him you love him, and he staggers backwards, breaths starting to rasp the way they had when you’d talked him through a panic attack, like he was just as scared of the admission as you had been.
Maybe he had been just as scared about it, back when it had mattered. Maybe he was just better at handling it than you are.
You never see his whole face in your dreams - only glimpses, fragments. You don’t want to examine if that means anything.
You fucking hate your brain.
You’re starting to hate your phone, too.
You lose November to grey - the whole month, a wash. You miss three days of work, unable to do anything - unable to cook, unable to get dressed. You feed the cat because you have to, and it’s the only reason you leave your bed except to pee.
When the grey days break as December dawns, you follow an impulse and schedule an appointment with your primary physician through their app. As you click the button to confirm the appointment, you burst into tears, loud and embarrassing. You cry with abandon, pulling your hoodie up to cover your face, to muffle the noise that you can’t stop.
You should have gone to a doctor years ago, and you know it. It feels like a big deal. It feels like a potential mistake - like opening a can of worms and now you have to deal with them. It feels like admitting something is wrong when you’ve worked so hard to look like nothing is. It feels like a farce, like nothing that bad is wrong with you, and you’re wasting everyone’s time.
But you keep the appointment anyway. You make yourself small in the chair on the other side of your doctor’s little table, and you admit, eyes on your hands, “I want to talk about my mental health. I think I’ve been dealing with depressive episodes. For… a long time, now.”
It’s so damn scary. As scary as loving and losing someone - like, yes, Vernon - had seemed. And you’re somehow surviving both.
Something to think about.
You buy yourself good job you did the scary thing ice cream on the way home. You go inside, put it away, and then scoop Nana off the couch, burying your face in his belly and cooing, “How is my favorite boy today?” He tolerates your nonsense with aplomb, as always.
Chan has never forgiven you for naming a cat “Banana Bread”, and you think that’s why Nana has never warmed up to him.
Nana loved Vernon, but you don’t want to think about that.
You kind of want to text him. You think he’d be proud of you for what you did today. You think he’d tell you good job.
(Chan would tell you good job, too, and will, when you call him later. But it doesn’t feel the same.)
You wonder if he’d answer if you told him. You wonder if he wouldn’t answer, but be proud of you anyway.
You fill the prescription, you leave your contact info with a therapist as advised by your primary physician. You don’t text Vernon.
You take your pride and your sadness, your fear and your hope and you channel them into greens and yellows. As late autumn grips the leafless trees outside, you paint something that looks like spring.
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Now - Winter
Winter howls through your life like you personally pissed it off. You and Nana huddle under thick blankets with your tablet night after night.
Sometimes you close your eyes and remember Vernon’s hands slipping underneath his own hoodie on your skin; it helps you feel warmer.
Sometimes you think about the way he’d said the word wasted about the time he’d spent with you; it makes you feel cold all over again.
You click through all the tabs you’ve had open for days - different universities with decent visual arts programs, all advertising admission for the spring semester.
None of them are big name schools, not like the one you’d turned down all those years ago. But they aren’t nothing.
You’d brought it up to your therapist last week and she’d encouraged the idea - accepting that you can’t unstitch the mistakes in your tapestry, but you can control what new patterns emerge.
This was the plan: start classes. Open social media accounts to showcase your work. Network through school, look for job opportunities at galleries or for collectors. Open commissions, maybe.
On your best days, this seems like a list of goals to shoot for. On your worst days, this seems like a list of things you’ve already failed at before you’ve even started.
You text options to Chan, ask him, which school colors can you see me in?
Your best friend sends back, all of them. any of them. look at you go!!
You sit in your living room and watch snow fall lazily outside the window. You daydream about what classes might be like, if you get in. You take pictures of the snow in the park, then try to paint something similar once you’re home again.
You wonder if Vernon’s doing okay. You worry that he’s going through his hard days alone. You worry that maybe he’s not - maybe he found someone who helps him better than you did, maybe he’s so happy with them that he doesn’t have hard days at all.
(You know life doesn’t work like that.)
You paint Nana, just for shits, and post it on instagram. It gets the most engagement you’ve had so far. Someone messages you asking if you do commissions for pet portraits. You frown, looking at the message.
Maybe I do, you think.
Your apartment is cold. You burrow under blankets, rub your legs together like a cricket to warm them up, and think maybe after I’m a cicada, I could be a cricket next.
There’s no one to share the joke with who’d get it. Just another of the thousand ways you feel Vernon’s absence in your life. You hadn’t realized how much space he took up until he was gone.
Everywhere Vernon looks, all he sees are circles. The hands on his kitchen clock circle each other, align, move on again. They tell him he has two minutes to get out the door before he’s late.
He checks his appearance in the bathroom mirror, straightens his tie, smooths back his hair, then grabs his crossbody bag and heads for the bus.
The hands of the clock in his office mark his passage through his schedule: one circle until his 10:00 meeting will end. Two more after that and he can take a lunch break. A circle and a half until his one-on-one with his boss, to discuss his first few months here.
On his lunch break, Vernon rides with two of the guys he works with to some nature trails nearby, as they usually do. They swap suits for joggers and zip-ups, pop in airpods, and head out. Vernon didn’t run before this job - didn’t exercise much at all, really. He’d gone along with the guys the first time there had been an unseasonably warm day, just to be out, and he’d found it felt good to get fresh air and some endorphins before returning to his desk. 
It’s cold today, the air brittle as he inhales, but the rest of his body feels warm as he works to keep up with the other guys. It’s not as hard as it used to be, keeping up. 
The trail is a circle, too, passing a small, man-made lake before looping around back to the changing facilities. On his wrist, a fitness app closes circles to quantify his steps, his speed, his progress.
At home again, he runs his thumb around the edge of the circular joystick as he waits for Seungkwan and Wonwoo to sign in and join him for a round or two before he figures out dinner.
“Some of us were going to the bar tonight, you in?” 
“Shouldn’t,” Vernon says. “But maybe this weekend?” Unfortunately, his new nine-to-five forces him to make decisions like this - better decisions. He kind of likes his job. He kind of doesn’t want to feel like shit in the morning. 
His mind, a circle - always coming around back to you when it gets too quiet.
He opens his messages.
how have you been? … are you doing okay? … hey, i’m - … I think I’m sorry … what if we did it differently …
Of course he doesn’t send any of them. Instead, he searches for your instagram. You’d never followed each other in the first place, and he considers it a win that you didn’t block him when it was over. But you haven't posted anything that he can see in the last eight months.
Except - one post. It looks like your cat.
He clicks it and realizes that it’s not a photograph, but a painting, and the caption links to another account. He clicks that, too, and finds himself on a page that seems dedicated to posting paintings only.
Yours, apparently. He scrolls through slowly, rolling to his stomach so he can look more closely. He never knew you painted, let alone that you were good - great, even, to his untrained and certainly unbiased eyes.
Part of the problem, his mind chimes in.
Somehow, despite understanding each other better than anyone else in your lives, at the end of the day you hadn’t known each other at all. 
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Now - Spring
happy hour after lecture???
plsss can we
bestie YES!!!
The sender of the original invite - a girl close to your age called Juri - eyes you from two rows up, expectantly. Normally, you’d go straight home after class. But you’d been talking to your therapist about almost this exact situation - the way you closed people out, squandered friendships to the point that only Chan managed to hang onto you for more than a year. (Vernon had made it about two years, a sick voice in your head says, and then answers itself with, but you weren’t friends, anyway.)
So, you send the group chat, sure!
(You’d also been talking to your therapist about that last fight with Vernon. I can’t get that conversation out of my head, you told her.
I’ve been caring about you way more than I should, he’d said.
You’d been talking to her about how your brain had skipped like a flat stone right over that detail and had sunk deep on I don’t want to do this anymore.
“What did you think he meant?” she’d asked you, watching you carefully. “When he said do this, what did you think this was?”
Me, you’d whispered. Anything with me - hook up, sleep, spend time together, talk, anything.
She’d helped you see the context of the fight - that maybe by “I don’t want to do this” he’d meant “be with you but not with you”.
“Sounds fake, but okay,” you’d joked. She hadn’t laughed. Negative ten points at Therapy.
You were still working on trying to believe it.
You still weren’t sure if it fucking mattered what he meant, because instead of asking him, “what do you want, then?” you’d gone defensive, had greedily grabbed at the excuse to push him away, hard and careless. He wouldn’t want you back now, even if that’s what he’d wanted at the time. You were sure of it.)
Happy that you’ve agreed to go out, Juri flashes you a grin and then turns around in her seat to watch the board again.
The bar Juri chooses is cute, not crowded or noisy yet this early in the evening. You sip at a beer and talk with the girls about upcoming projects, about the professor you all can’t stand, about the term paper you all feel you shouldn’t have to do.
It’s nice, and honestly when you glance at the time and decide you’d better get home to feed Nana, you regret that you have to. Still, you make your way to the bar to pay for your portion.
You don’t even notice the lean, handsome man who sidles up next to you while you wait for your check until he speaks.
“What’s your drink?”
You look over at him, surprised. “Oh,” you say, which isn’t really an answer. “I’m leaving, actually.”
He gives an exaggerated frown. “It’s so early!”
You shrug. “Sorry. Places to be.”
He’s cute, you consider, as you pay your bill and head for the door. Two years ago, you probably would have picked up what he was putting down.
At home, you feed Nana, then collapse on the couch, pulling a throw blanket all the way over your head. Your stomach churns with discomfort.
You open your phone, find Vernon in your contacts.
You sit on his contact page, thumbs hovering over his number, for so long that your screen goes black twice while you stay locked in indecision.
Don’t call him don’t call him don’t call him.
But you’re lonely, and you miss him, and going out made you think of him, and you wonder what would happen if you did it, if you called. Would he even answer?
Eventually, you let reason win this time, and get up from the couch, the blanket falling from you like you’d shed a skin.
In your spare room, you eye the last painting you’d finished - mostly black but with a fractured, fragmented view of a tabletop littered with empty glasses and half-finished drinks, all the liquids a toxic, piercing neon pink. You hadn’t posted that one; it felt too much like an admission.
You stare down the empty canvas, tapping your mouth with the wooden end of a brush, deciding how to begin. You close your eyes and see the beast that’s followed you these last few years - even before Vernon. The embodiment of your shame, your regrets, your failures. It’s never left your side for long.
When you finally begin to paint it, you start with the claws.
you up for a 1v1?
arent you on a date???
obviously not.
you didn’t go? bro.
i went. it was just. idk.
it was just what?
idk dude.
you didn’t like her?
she was fine?? she was funny, and hot, and it was fine
so why are you home alone at 8:30 asking me to come online
Vernon rubs at his face in irritation. He doesn’t know what to say, how to explain to Seungkwan why the date had felt flat.
What could he say? It was fine. It just wasn’t… enough.
He could still remember how he’d felt the first night he met you. He wanted to feel that.
idk, he told Seungkwan. lack of chemistry, ig.
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Now - Summer
You think you’ve learned a lot over the past few months - between starting classes again and beginning therapy, you’re just bursting with new knowledge.
Something you’re working on is appreciating the shadows.
In class, you work on shading, on adding darks even when you think an area should all be light. Sometimes, somehow, shadows are exactly what you need to make it right on the canvas.
You think about this concept for your whole drive home from therapy - how the shadows under trees change the way you see them, how the darks affect the lights, how the shadows in your own life are natural and maybe, in the end, not so catastrophic.
At home, you duck your head into the shadows under your bed and drag Nana out by the middle.
“Come be social,” you scold him, plopping him on the couch.
After dinner, you go back to work on what you were painting. You’d been stuck for a few days, not happy with any change you made, but today you have an idea.
You create a palette of black, grey, navy, and deep purple. For two hours, you work meticulously, adding the midnights, the bruises, the shadows. They belong here, too.
Chan tells you he’s proud of you, the next time he’s over, and it makes you cry even though you’re only one your second sip of wine.
“Stop it,” you scold, avoiding his gaze, burning up under the attention.
“I mean it,” he says seriously. “I’m so happy that you’re painting again, I could throw up. And going back to school? And therapy? Damn. The glow-up.”
“Ew,” you frown at him, because this feels safer than acknowledging that you have been working hard on yourself, on your life. “What year is it, 2017?”
He gives you a look to make sure you know that he sees through your bullshit.
“It’s not all perfect,” you admit quietly. You feel like it should - like you’ve done the work, and now you should get the happy ending. But it hasn’t worked that way. You’re still working at a job that feels like a waste of time, painting on the side. You’re accumulating some debt for the classes you’re taking. The grey days still come and go, though admittedly their grip is less intense.
And you still think of Vernon, near daily.
Chan shrugs. “That’s normal. Perfect isn’t real. It’s unattainable. If your therapist hasn’t told you that, then you’re wasting your money.”
You laugh. She had told you that. Another thing that was easier to say than to put into practice.
You recork the bottle after a second glass, put it in your fridge for another day. Returning to your spot by Chan’s side, you tell him, “I keep thinking about him.”
Chan cocks his head, probably unsure if you’re talking about who he thinks you are.
“The guy I was hooking up with.”
“Ah.” He inclines his head knowingly.
You recount what he already knows - that you’d been whatever you were for about two years, that it had ended. That it was your fault.
“I think,” you say, taking a deep breath mid-sentence to steel yourself for the truth, “I think I could have loved him. I don’t know… maybe I did.”
“Either you did or you didn’t,” Chan points out, which is fair.
“It’s just…” you say, thinking about it. “We kept our boundaries so tight. We didn’t talk during the day, didn’t meet each others’ friends or families… barely got to know anything about each other. But it was like… even so, I think we just understood each other. It was like a lot of it just went without saying.”
Chan considers this, face serious. “Sounds like the potential was there, at least. If nothing else.”
“Yeah,” you said sadly, tracing the bottom of your wine glass with your finger. “Potential.”
Wasted potential. You’d heard that plenty before, just not usually about your love life.
Chan reaches out and shakes your knee playfully. “It’ll happen again,” he promises.
You don’t know what would be worse - if it never did, or it did, but it wasn’t Vernon. You’d never believed in there only being one right person for you - like soulmates or shit like that. But looking back at your time together, you’re not sure anyone will ever have a hold over you the way Vernon did. The grip he had on your life was unshakable.
Before he leaves for the night, Chan hesitates by the door.
“Hey,” he says, “this weekend? A bunch of the guys are driving down to the beach for the day. Wanna join?”
Something else you would have said no to, before. You’re trying to say yes more, plus you can’t deny that the sea air and sunshine sound like heaven.
“Sure,” you say, shifting to block Nana from slipping out the front door as Chan opens it. “Text me the details.”
Later, you ask what you should have asked first. who all is coming?
Chan sends back the list - six of his friends, ending with, seungcheol-hyung and his friend hansol. i think you’ve met him once or twice at the bars? he’s a good guy.
Something in you knew this was going to be the answer. You counted your breaths, tried to talk yourself down from immediately bailing on the plan.
Sleep on it, you told yourself. See how you feel in a few days.
You followed your own directions, but for days your mind spun around the question, buzzing and frantic.
Are you ready to see Vernon? To be around him, and act normal? Is it a good idea? Will you fight? Will you fall back into old habits? Will he bring out the worst in you?
Actually, you consider, that isn’t fair. Vernon never brought out your bad habits - he just coexisted peacefully with them, never tried to kick them out.
You’re scared that seeing him will undo the work of getting over him. But that isn’t true, either - because you don’t think you moved on from him at all.
In the end, you do slip into old habits - you let yourself make a potentially bad decision. You decide to go.
A twisted, quiet part of you is kind of excited.
The louder part is scared to death.
The day is perfect - blue sky, barely any clouds, hot and bright. Chan drives you and two of his friends; a second car with the others is somewhere en route, will meet your group once you’re there.
Chan’s car arrives first, and you help the guys unpack the trunk. Loaded down with beach bags, chairs, and coolers, you make your way unsteadily through the sand, pausing at one point to take off your flip-flops, tired of how they slow you down in the dry, loose sand.
You pick a spot and lay the towels out, unfold the chairs, get the umbrella anchored down in the sand so it doesn’t fly away.
The whole time, you can’t stop watching the parking lot, waiting for the other group to arrive - waiting for the moment of truth. What will happen when Vernon sees you?
Once everything is set up, you lay out, trying to enjoy what is admittedly beautiful weather. It’s so bright that when you lay on your back, you want to throw an arm over your eyes to block out the light, to really relax.
It feels like forever when you hear a distant shout and sit up, blinking against the glare of the sun, returning your sunglasses to your face as you get your bearings. A group of Chan’s friends approaches, one of them - Mingyu, you think - shouting hello and waving like a fool.
You stand to greet them, waving hi when they get close enough. You bite your lip nervously and glance at Vernon. He’s near the back of the group - their car had brought four people, just like yours - and his face is absolutely unreadable as he looks at you. It reminds you of the beginning, when you noticed how hard he works to keep his expression blank.
He’d stopped doing that with you, near the end. You’d almost forgotten.
Meeting and holding his gaze, you give him a solemn nod. I can be normal if you can, you try to promise, silently.
The moment is tense; you aren’t sure how he’ll react. Then, he gives you his own tiny nod back.
Relief melts through you like butter. Seeing him aches, but it isn’t unmanageable. You can do this - you’ll both be okay. You’ll both get through the day.
You help set up a second umbrella while a few of the guys move a few yards away to set up a volleyball net.
For a few hours they play volleyball. You sit on your towel with airpods in and watch, trying not to notice Vernon, trying to keep that part of your brain locked tight in its little box. But the sunlight streams down, not half as blinding as his smile as he jokes and laughs with Chan and Seungcheol, nowhere near as glittering as his laugh when he doubles over, elbows on his knees.
The sun is almost directly overhead when you get warm enough to brave the ocean.
“I’m gonna swim for a few,” you announce, standing and brushing some loose sand from your thighs.
Chan collapses on his towel, next to yours, pushing his hair back and heaving a deep breath, exhausted from volleyball.
“Maybe in a few,” he wheezes. “I need a minute.”
“I’ll go,” Soonyoung says, tossing his sunglasses onto his towel so he doesn’t lose them in the ocean.
You head down to where the waves are breaking onto the wet sand, foamy water dancing up to your ankles before retreating into the deep sea again. It’s cold, but under the midday sun the cold is welcome. You wade until you hit the awkward point where it’s hard to stand without being constantly battered by breaking waves, and then you duck underneath the surface and swim past the breaking point.
Treading water, you turn to see if Soonyoung made it out with you. He’s still back a bit, jumping each time a wave comes through. Beside him, Mingyu splutters, having taken a wave to his face. A few feet back, the water only at their knees, Vernon and Chan laugh maniacally.
You missed those goose honks.
The guys take their time catching up to you until all five of you are treading.
“Do you think there are jellyfish?” Soonyoung asks, peering into the water behind you.
“Probably,” Vernon deadpans, and you laugh, then immediately wonder if you shouldn’t. Luckily, he grins at you appreciatively as, behind him, Chan points out that there could be sharks, too.
“I’ll probably go back in soon,” Soonyoung says, trying to sound cavalier, but his unease shines through.
“We’re fine,” you promise. “You don’t have to out-swim the shark. You just have to out-swim Chan.”
Chan curses and splashes water at you as the others laugh.
You talk and float for a little longer until you consider the goosebumps on your limbs, the growl in your stomach.
“Anyone interested in lunch?” you ask.
Mingyu raises his arm and squints at his watch. “It is one,” he says. “I could eat. What did you guys bring?”
Chan starts rattling off what’s in your coolers as you start to make your way back to shore. You reach the point where your feet touch the sand, only to get slammed in the back by an incoming wave. You stumble a little, and someone holds your elbow steady, helping you stagger through it without completely tripping.
You give Vernon a grateful smile as he retracts his hand, but your stomach is swooping and your arm is burning where he’d held you.
Rejoining the others, you plop down on your towel, suddenly exhausted. The ocean water drying on your skin under the sun makes you shiver as you dig through the cooler. You pass out drinks to the guys closest to you, toss a bag of chips at Seungkwan when he asks for them, then settle back on your own towel to eat.
After, full and happy, you flop backwards and put airpods back in. Seungkwan and Soonyoung head back to the volleyball net. Mingyu and Chan seem content to bake in the sun, like you, and beyond them the others have circled up and are playing a card game, open cans of beer in the sand beside them.
You feel truly at peace, and you take a moment to ask the universe - can I hold onto this? Can I remember, when things go grey, that these moments exist?
Once you’re warm again, you pull your shorts back on and whack Chan on the arm. He startles awake, pushing his sunglasses up to glare at you.
“I’m going to walk up the beach for a little,” you tell him, pointing, just so somewhere will know where you are. He nods, his head sinking back down to his towel, eyes closing again.
You walk where the waves flood over your feet every few minutes, never getting higher than your ankles. You search for shells as you go, carrying one or two, but mostly stopping to take pictures of them and leaving them where they are, wanting to paint them later.
There are four shells in your hand when you hear someone call your name. You turn, surprised, and your stomach swoops again; Vernon approaches, hat twisted backwards and sunglasses perched over the top of it, one hand reaching out to show you a shell he’d found.
You hold still, you let him come to you. When he’s close enough, you hold open your hand and let him drop the shell there. It’s a mostly-white spiral top.
“Thanks,” you say, looking away from the shell to meet Vernon’s eyes.
He looks down at the other four in your hands. “You gonna paint them?”
You feel yourself physically take a step back in shock. “What?”
Embarrassment darkens his face just slightly. “I’ve been following your art page,” he admits, shoving his hands into his shorts pockets. “I didn’t know.” Then, “I feel bad that I didn’t know. You’re really good.”
You shake your head. “I wasn’t painting when we… I used to. I stopped for a long time. Just started again, after…” You trail off. After you left me. After I pushed you away.
He nods, licks his lips. “Does it help?” he asks, and you know exactly what he’s asking - does it make the rocks weigh less, does it make the grey lighter?
“Yeah,” you say, nodding. “In general. It’s been… kind of cathartic.”
You both stand there, the shells on your palms between you, a decision teetering between you.
You should be the one to mend it, you think, since you were the one who’d ruined it before.
“Do you want to walk with me?” you ask, a little tentatively. “You don’t have to - I’m fine on my own -”
“I’d like to,” he says, voice quiet, and something about it makes you want to well up - that he’s willing to give you his time, that he doesn’t hate you as much as you deserve.
You walk quietly together as the sun starts to sink a little, casting everything a bit orange.
“What’s new with you?” you ask, finally.
And he tells you - new job that he actually likes despite how stuffy the nine-to-five thing sounds in theory, new mile time on his daily run, new friends through work.
“And you?”
You fill him in, telling him about taking classes part-time around your job, the commissions that aren’t enough to sustain you but aren’t nothing - you even shyly admit that you’ve been seeing a therapist.
It was the most either of you had ever talked about your real lives, you thought. It struck you how normal it felt, like it wasn’t something new or novel.
“Sounds like things are coming together for you,” he says.
“You, too,” you return.
Everything between you sits heavy, weighing the moment down, pulling towards the ocean’s depths like an anchor.
Then, at the same time, you break.
“It’s good to see you again.”
“Vernon, I’m really sorry.”
He stops walking, turns to face you, aglow as the golden hour inches closer. The sun is warm on your skin, the sand is warm beneath your feet, and you are dying to make it right with him.
“It’s good to see you, too,” you whisper. You’re scared of this moment - scared it will burst, like a bubble, like waking up from a dream that you can’t get back.
“Don’t be sorry,” he counters. “We both screwed up.”
You shake your head, feeling your throat tighten with emotion. “No,” you say emphatically. “You had every right to be mad. You were right that you were wasting time.”
He glances down, mouth pulling into a frown. “I’m sorry I said that to you. It wasn’t a waste.”
“Maybe not entirely,” you allow. “But you were right. I was never going to give you what you wanted - not back then, not with… how I was. That last fight we had… it would have been so easy for me to just let you in, and everything would have been fine. And I just… couldn’t.”
He listens seriously, watching your face carefully. You look at your feet in the sand, feeling the beginning trickles of shame down your spine. But you remember that the beast can’t get you - you’d locked him on a canvas. You don’t succumb to him in these moments anymore - you take a breath and remember that you’ve grown since then.
“And -” you swallow, take a breath, “- and I’m sorry. You deserve so much better than that.”
He nods, slowly, his eyes suddenly on the ocean. You watch his throat work, and your stomach clenches in regret. Then, he says, “I should have been clearer with you - way sooner than I was.”
“I’m not sure it would have changed anything,” you admit sadly.
He nods again, agreeing. “Still,” he says.
Still.
“I really like your paintings,” he says, and then laughs at himself before you can respond. “Sorry, that sounded so lame. I don’t know the art terms or anything. I just… like them.”
You smile despite how serious the conversation had felt only seconds ago. “Thanks,” you say shyly.
“What’s the best thing you’ve learned in your classes?” he asks, stepping a little closer.
You don’t even have to think about it. “Shadows,” you say simply, looking up at him. “Even the brightest painting is nothing without the shadows.”
His smile grows slowly, and you know he gets it. Of course he does. He’s been in the trenches right alongside you.
“I thought about you a lot,” he admits, and you realize how close you’re standing. Had you been standing this close the whole time?
“I did, too,” you murmur, heart hammering.
His fingers brush up your sun-warmed arm, and you shiver despite the heat.
“Can I kiss you?” he asks, voice low, a little unsure.
He’d never asked before.
You nod, unable to speak, lifting up to meet him halfway. He kisses you like he never had before - featherlight, gentle, like you’re the most fragile thing.
Neither of you say anything after, but as you start walking back towards the guys, you slip your hand into his, and he gives it a squeeze.
You’re still hand in hand when you reach the towels, and you watch Chan clock it out of the corner of his eyes. He doesn’t call you out, and you promise yourself that you’ll give him the conversation you owe him - later. When you’re alone.
You stay a few more hours; the guys play a little more volleyball, you sit on the towels and fill pages in your sketchbook. You draw Vernon - all angles, so sharp, so beautiful.
When the sun sinks low enough, the guys start packing things up, and you help haul everything back towards the cars.
As you slam the trunk of Chan’s car shut, you turn to find Vernon waiting.
“What about now?” he asks.
“What?”
“You said not back then,” he explains. “You said back then you couldn’t give me what I wanted. What about now?”
The question lands like a mine. “I don’t know,” you say, as honest as you can be. “Vernon, I don’t know. I’m scared - I’m scared I’ll hurt you again, mess it up again. I don’t know what I can promise you.”
He considers this. “Okay,” he says finally, in that easy way of his. “What if I don’t want a promise? What if I just want to know… what’re you doing next Saturday?”
You and him, you’d existed only at night. You’d never done this before - considered dating, considered giving him more than just the hours between midnight and three am. You’d never considered letting him be him and not just one of your many vices, one of your distractions, one of the things you used to hide from how broken you felt. But here, now, with the summer sun beating down on your shoulders, you take in his whole, unfragmented face and see how open it is, how willing he is to meet you where you are.
You’ve been missing out on so much, you think. It’s about time to stand in the light - with him. With him, you could try.
“Nothing,” you say, smiling up at him. “You got a suggestion?”
“Yeah,” he says, sending you a wink as he starts to back away, the car keys jingling in his hand. “I know a place.”
<- Prev
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thank you so much for reading my veyr first svt fic!! i hope to write many more in the future :)
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magics-neptunes-things · 11 months ago
Note
KCC- you are snoring, terribly
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TW : None
Well actually I change a little the phrasing here, sorry I guess ^^'
______________________________________________________________
Matildas camps, a few months after the World Cup. Usually, you are more than happy to find your teammates but this morning you have a tight stomach and you have the impression that you will be able to burst into tears at any time. You try hard to look good though, especially in front of your girlfriend. Kyra asked you with concern if you're alright and you used all your capacity of conviction when you lied to her.
But it doesn’t seem to work with Caitlin.
"What's happening to you kiddo?" asks the brunette, frowning while you are in pairs for strengthening exercises.
"Nothing" you mumble without looking at her.
"Not to me, Y/N" sighs Caitlin.
You bite your lip thoughtfully, looking at your interlocutor for a few seconds.
"You know you can trust me, right?"
Of course you know. Since you joined the national team, Caitlin has taken on the role of the big sister with you. You were born the same year as Kyra, a few months younger. So Caitlin is more like your big sister.
"I think Kyra is cheating on me" you finally confess
"What?"
Under the surprise, Caitlin drops the barbell she held in her hand until now. The noise makes a hell of a sound and you cast a look of reproaches on her noting that it attracted the attention of everyone around you. After apologizing with a wave of hand, Caitlin shifts her attention to you to resume your conversation. She takes care of whispering, which you’re grateful for.
"What makes you think that?"
"When I woke up this morning, she was no longer in the room. I went out to look for her and I saw her come out of Courtney’s room" you mumble, trying not to let despair take over you.
"I can’t believe something like this" Caitlin said after a few seconds.
"If you have a better explanation, I’ll listen."
You see all the goodwill she’s putting into finding one. She’s really trying, because she loves you as much as she loves Kyra. She appreciates your relationship and advised you a lot to turn your crush into a real couple between Kyra and you.
"Did you talk to her?"
"No. I can’t. If it’s true I don’t know if I would stand it"
Caitlin’s face fills with empathy and she gently squeezes your hand into hers, your exercises long forgotten.
"And if that’s not true, you torture yourself for nothing"
You don’t answer. She’s right, you know it. What you don’t know is that Kyra, at a distance, didn’t miss anything from your exchange. She takes advantage of the lunch break to intercept you before you take a seat in the refectory.
"Are you all right?"
The worry is visible in her eyes and on her face and your tortured mind imagines that it's probably because she knows that you are aware of her infidelities.
"I'm alright, Kyra. Can we just go eat please?"
Your tone is begging, but it seems to worry your girlfriend even more.
"I saw you talking to Caitlin, why don’t you tell me what’s going on?"
You remain silent for a few seconds, before remembering Caitlin’s main advice: Talking to Kyra. You bite your lip and eventually grab her by the arm to train her to an empty room.
"I know everything" you say straight away once the door is closed behind you.
"You know what?" asks Kyra, who looks completely lost.
"About you and Courtney"
Kyra looks at you for a few moments while blinking her eyes, before releasing a small burst of surprised laughter.
"What the hell are you talking about?"
Your patience is melting like ice cream in the sun, not supporting these pretenses. You would rather that she drop the information directly and confess. This annoys you and you decide to be direct since Kyra seems incapable.
"I saw you leaving her room this morning, Ky"
"Oh"
Her amused face changes quickly and you see the realization in her eyes.
"Oh" she repeats
And suddenly a certain form of panic seems to take hold of her when she quickly approaches you before resuming speech.
"I’m not cheating on you, I swear"
You see only sincerity in her eyes and you feel yours fill with tears. You find yourself sniffing before answering her.
"Why are you leaving someone else’s room an hour before we wake up then?" you ask in a low voice.
You see Kyra’s face twitching and a little bit of guilt coming over it. But deciding that it's better to tell you the truth than to let you believe in an infidelity (that you wouldn't forgive her) Kyra takes a big inspiration before answering you.
"You snore. Terribly. Every night, all night and I just can’t sleep. Usually I take earplugs because I love sleeping with you and feeling you all against me but this time I forgot. Courntey was all alone in her room so I asked her if I could come and sleep with her" Kyra pitifully admits.
A few moments pass, then you resume talking.
"What do you mean I snore terribly?"
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addisonnie · 2 years ago
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you, me, & mary-jane
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summary: dealer!ellie comes in clutch in more ways than one.
warnings: make-out sesh, cursing, terrible breaking bad references
a/n: surprise! another ellie fic because i refuse to do the schoolwork that i desperately need to finish! wooooooooo dealer ellie is yum. i actually kinda hate this! enjoy! oh god also listen to “meddle about” by chase atlantic while you read if you would like. ellie=chase atlantic okay bye
part 2 —> part 3
There are several things in life that you can live without. Weed is not one of them.
You’re huffing and borderline growling as you dig through various stash locations in your room. Closet, empty. Under the mattress, nothing but crumbs. In every single pants pocket? Zero. Zilch. Not one lush green nug was found.
What could be chalked up to a literal war cry left your lips as you sat on the floor with your head in your hands, “this is it. This is the end.”
Dina’s head poked up from the side of her bed, “what are you whining about down there?”
Leaning your head back onto the wall, you sent Dina a harsh glare, “you and Jesse smoked the last of it! And I’m flat broke, too!”
She sat up fully in her bed, eyes wide and crazy, “bitch! Don’t pin this on us! You said it was fine.”
“That was last night! This is today! Today I just want to smoke my silly little bowl and enjoy my silly little high.” You groan and knock your head against the wall a few times.
Fishing your phone from your back pocket, you open iMessage. Hopefully your plug isn’t busy right now. Last time you bought from him was in the parking lot of his youngest child’s soccer game. Maybe buying from a 40-something father of three isn’t always the best idea—at least he won’t rip you off?
Hey. You busy?
Tom usually responds right away. His clients doubled as his friends (you being his ex-babysitter) and he always loved to provide for them.
Who is this?
Well, that’s strange. Tom definitely has your number saved. And, Tom definitely knows who you are.
Don’t play, Tom. I want to buy!!!!
You watch the text bubbles pop up and disappear in the bottom corner of the screen a few times, showing that he’s typing out a response and deleting it over and over.
This is his wife. Don’t text this number again. He is married. And he does not sell what you want to “buy.”
You could really cry at this moment. Like, honestly and truly sob. A long huff leaves your lips and you knuckle at your eyes aggressively. Fucking bullshit. Tom’s wife was always kind of a bitch, to be fair. But you didn’t think she’d ever pull a Skylar White on you. What does a girl have to do to get some weed around here?
“Do you know any other dealers? I just got told off by Tom’s wife.” Dina laughed from her bed.
“My name is Skylar White, yo. My husband is Walter White, yo.” You couldn’t help but laugh, “that’s exactly what I was thinking!”
She sits up in her bed, hanging her tanned legs off the side, “here. I have mutual friends with this girl, think her name is Ellie? I heard she sells. Good prices too.”
Dina tosses her phone into your lap from where she sits and allows you to send the contact to yourself.
Hey. Is this Ellie?
———
Ellie takes a couple hours before responding.
It depends on who’s asking?
Your professor drones on about some random Shakespeare play and you can’t bring yourself to pay attention while you read over Ellie’s text.
Dina gave me your number, I heard you sell?
Man. I really hope you’re not a cop.
You chuckle at her text.
Not a cop. Twenty year old girl over here. I love One Direction.
That sounds like something an undercover cop would say.
Ellie made a good point. You scroll through your camera roll trying to find a recent selfie before landing on one you took a couple days ago. You’re clearly high in the picture, so maybe Ellie will take the hint.
Here. Proof. Not a cop :)
Pretty.
She sent her address in a separate text and informs you to meet her there around 7pm when she’s done with her night class. Your professor excuses the class and leaves the remainder of students to pack their things. 5pm. Usually you smoke before going to pick up. Clearly, that’s not an option today. What does one do while they wait if they have no weed?
———
Nothing. One does absolutely nothing if they have no weed.
You knock on Ellie’s front door and wait a few beats before stepping back from the doorway. The lock clicks before the dingy wooden door opens inward,
“Hey!”
Oh, damn. She is fine.
Her auburn hair is short and rests about an inch above her shoulders. It’s pulled slightly up into a bun and several short strands curl lightly along the nape of her neck.
“Hey! Ellie, right?”
She smiles, “that’s me.” The door is pulled open wider and she beckons you to come inside. A botanical tattoo swirls along her forearm and you find yourself staring at her awkwardly before you step into the house.
She tugs off her flannel and slings it over the back of a woven couch, leaving her in a fitted white tank top.
You suck in a breath, “how are you?”
How are you? Really? Who says that to a drug dealer?
She chuckles and slouches into the couch, patting the open spot beside her, “pretty good. How about you?”
“Honestly? I’m suffering.”
She laughs fully this time, “that bad, huh? Your dealer die or something?”
“God, I wish. His wife responded to my text and told me to fuck off, basically. That he doesn’t sell what I buy.” Ellie cringes and shakes her head, her lips pressed into a tight frown,
“she Skylar-Whited you? That’s pretty fucking rough.”
“That’s exactly what I said! Call me Jesse Pinkman, I guess.” Ellie shook her head again and leaned forward to grab a small mahogany box.
Her long fingers opened the lid and scrounged through the container before she happily hummed and held up what she was looking for. A joint was pressed between her fingers and she quickly snatched a lighter off the coffee table.
After she placed the box back on the table, she leaned back into the couch and stretched her arm along the back of it, her fingers barely grazing your shoulder. Ellie turned to face you and held the joint to your lips, “open up.”
Your face flushes as you do what she asked—demanded. Her fingers place the joint onto your awaiting lips and she quickly lights the paper, still holding the joint to your mouth.
What is this girl on? You can’t help but feel as if this is strangely intimate. Tom never held a joint to your lips! On second thought, it’s probably good that he didn’t.
You inhale and she pulls the joint to meet her own mouth as she watches you exhale.
“We can smoke this and then I’ll grind up some for you.” She passes you the joint this time.
“Oh—you don’t have to. I can take the nugs. I don’t want to trouble you.” You pass it back.
She smirks, the joint hanging from the side of her mouth, “no trouble at all. Happy to do it.”
“Is that what you tell all of your clients?”
Another smirk, “only the pretty ones.”
The joint is placed back into your fingertips and you are very glad, this way you can explain the extreme blush creeping up onto your cheeks as just you being overly high. Ellie has somehow moved closer to you, her thigh is pressed up against yours and the arm she has outstretched across the back of the couch skims the back of your shoulders. A chill rakes through your body, leaving goosebumps in its wake.
“Here, take it.” The hand she has resting behind your head snatches her discarded flannel and drops it into your lap.
“Oh—thanks.” She hums in response.
———
Ellis is funny as hell. Each sentence that escapes her plump lips makes less sense than the last,
“would you rather be trapped in a locked room with a gorilla, or with…with a shit ton of cockroaches?”
She’s sitting opposite you on the couch, her back leaning against one armrest. One of her legs is bent and squished against the back of the couch, her other is sprawled off the edge of the couch. Bit of a man-spreader, this one. Your back is pressed to the opposite arm rest and your legs are stretched outward, resting softly in her lap.
Again, weirdly intimate.
“Oh. Fuck, probably the roaches? Just step on ‘em. Yanno?”
She gasps and latches onto your sock-clad feet, “sickening! Me and that gorilla are gonna be friends.”
You squint at her, “you gonna sell him some Mary-Jane?”
“Yup,” she pops the ‘p’ and passes you the remainder of the joint. Your fingers skim over hers and she blushes a bit, nudging your finger with hers.
“Hey—so how much do I owe you?” You immediately regret ruining the moment the second the words pass your lips.
“Well, flattery works with me—“ you cut her off, “oh yeah? I would’ve kissed you earlier, had I known that.”
She flushes, “you can—um. You can still kiss me. If you want.”
And, just like that, your eyes turn into hearts and start beating rapidly. You surge forward and press your lips to hers, smiling into the kiss when she flicks the joint out of her fingertips and grabs your cheeks, pulling you closer.
Her mouth melds to yours and immediately has you panting like a bitch in heat. She moves one of her hands to pinch at your hip, grasping and probing at you until you wind up straddling her lap. You press your chest into hers and squeak when you feel her hand push your hip down, effectively grinding you down onto her. A strangled whine leaves your lips as she pulls away and begins kissing down the column of your throat.
Her mouth is wet and firm while she sucks and nips on any naked skin she can find, moaning when she feels your fingers card through her hair. Your hips continually rut into hers and she quickly sets a different pace, gripping your hips and dragging you forward and back on her lap. Ellie moans when you grab her hair and pull. Her face is removed from your neck at the force of your tug and she pants to catch her breath before opening her eyes to meet yours.
“How’s free sound?” She gives you a crooked smirk and presses an open-mouthed kiss to your throat.
“Sounds like I’m ripping you off, Ellie.”
She groans and throws her head back onto the couch, “I love the way you say my name. And it’s not ripping me off, babe.”
And you’re blushing again. Babe. She called you babe.
She continues, “think of it as a little sampler. Free shared joint, some ground up weed, and some Ellie.”
You grab her cheeks and squish them together, “only if you swear this sampler is offered to me only. Can’t have anyone stealing my deals.”
She brushes your hands off and smirks again, “like I said earlier, pretty girls only.”
“You said ‘girls’ plural.” She laughs.
“I’ve got three clients. A grown man named Joel, one of the sociology professors—don’t tell anyone I said that. Then you. And I’m a lesbian, so…” She trails off at the end of her sentence and looks down at your lips again, hands splayed across your thighs.
You kiss her again. It’s short and chaste and it leaves Ellie chasing your lips for just one more. Two more. Three. How’s five sound?
She presses kisses to your puckered lips over and over, “all,” kiss, “the weed,” kiss, “you can,” kiss, “dream of.”
Ellie finally pulls away to fully look at you, “I mean it. You can have all the weed you want if you keep kissing me like that.”
————
When you finally clamber off of her lap and detach her hands from your hips it’s almost one in the morning. She sighs while she watches you stuff your ‘goody bag’ into your purse, slipping your shoes back on. Her fingers beckon you back to the couch and she taps your right leg until you bend it and rest your foot on top of her thigh. You were planning on walking home with your shoes untied, but Ellie’s nimble fingers quickly double knot each of your shoes; She presses a kiss to each of your knees before letting them straighten back out.
Her hands find your hips again—shocker— while she walks you to the front door. A kiss is pressed to your lips one last time and she gives you a firm squeeze when you lean in to hug her.
“Come back soon. Fuck that guy, I’m your new dealer for life.” You smile and step outside, “okay.”
She definitely tied your shoes too tight and you make a mental note to fix it when you’re out of her eyesight. As you’re walking down the sidewalk that leads you to campus she calls your name,
“Get home safe, yeah? Text me when you’re back!”
You will definitely text her.
2K notes · View notes
captainjamster · 10 months ago
Text
Observation Duty
Pairing(s): Price x fem!Reader Warnings: Manipulation, stalking, monitoring and surveillance, obsessive behaviour, non-consensual voyeurism, non-consensual mutual masturbation, non-consensual recording and photos Wordcount: 3.2k Summary: John isn't quite the captain everyone thinks he is, but he knows just how to act like it. No one would ever believe the things he does behind closed doors. AO3 Link: Right here! <3
A/N: PLEASE LOOK AT THE WARNINGS BEFORE YOU READ MORE! This is the first part of what should be two chapters, because I can't stop starting things without finishing them <3
If I miss any tags you think should be there, please let me know!
Full fic under the cut <3
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John’s line of work has taught him that people are so, so easy to play with. Know the right person, the right place. Know what to say, who to say it to.
Keeping you safe, under his ever-observant eye, is easy in the barracks and on the field. You don’t make a single move he doesn’t see or hasn’t approved. But when you go home, away from him and his control, he just can’t help but worry. Are you safe, alone in that big, empty house? What do you get up to? Are you eating and drinking? Taking care of yourself? Who do you see? Do you invite anyone around? The idea of another man in your home makes him shudder, and in your bedroom isn’t something he even entertains. John needs to do something about it.
He’s been thinking for a while. Some way to watch you, every waking moment. A permanent eye on the wall. He knows your address; it’s right there in your files. There isn’t a single legal document or piece of information about you that he can’t obtain if he wants to. Every place you’ve lived, your parents, extended family, even your friendship circles. Your school results, community hobbies, bank purchases, every doctors trip – especially your birth control and fertility, he paid very close attention to those details. He knows how to play you; he listens to your grumbling, observes what makes you happy. Notices the moments where you’re less resistant, records what makes you flare up in defensiveness or fury. John is a well-educated man, one who could’ve been a scholar in another life, and he’s decided his favourite topic to study is you.
--- ︻デ═一 ---
“Remember to fill out your forms, lads. New policies coverin’ house insurance and maintenance, let me know if y’need any fixin’ at home.” He hands out the papers, carefully keeping yours separate without being too obvious. Soap’s head bobs up, glancing at you and taking the bait John has set out perfectly. “Oi bonnie, weren’t ye chattin’ ‘bout fixin’ a light o’ somethin’?”
Your face lights up at the mention, a bashful smile gracing your lips, and John would be mad that it’s not in his direction if he wasn’t so satisfied with himself. “I can’t believe you remembered that, yeah! I was going to wait until I got home.”
Gaz hums, hunched over his own form as he signs it. “Maybe Ghost can buy a piece of furniture this year.” His sentence is rewarded with a pen smacking into the side of his head, bouncing off him and onto the table as Ghost snorts in amusement, answering gruffly. “Fuck off, Garrick.”
It never goes wrong, but he still feels smug at how effortless it is to orchestrate an entire conversation before it starts. Getting your signature is as easy as an extra sheet, you can’t even tell the difference. No one reads terms and conditions, and he’s made extra sure you don’t - a couple of edited test forms a few months ago - to rule out the chance.
With the paperwork completed, he contacts the company and gives them a boring, digestible cover story. “Yeah, her husband. Installing cameras, yeah. Keepin’ it safe while we’re both on deployment. Just a light out the back to fix, cameras to install in and outside.”
They’re so quick to listen to the man playing the big, strong head of the house, not a single question about why everything but the payment would be in his ‘wife’s’ name instead. Lying, John finds, is easiest when others do the work for you; give vague details that seem right, and let them come to their own little conclusions. Let them assume you’re some kind of military wife who doddles along behind him, just an obedient little civilian pet while he organises the household. If only they knew what you were and what you did, he thinks. Though still, an obedient little pet is how he would like you. It just takes time to get there.
They come over and install the cameras in less than a week. John’s antsy the day he gets the call that they finished, waiting for it to be over so he can experiment with his new toy. He ignores the questioning looks from his inferiors as he dismisses his last evening meeting early, pushing out the door into the stream of soldiers heading for dinner, only departing from the pack when he reaches his office door.
John prepared a room for this in advance – the moment he set the plan in motion. A room at home, his central control that he could run unmanned and long-distance, circumnavigating his occupancy at the base. It’s almost undetectable; no pesky windows to peek in from the outside, entry hidden behind a locked door in his office. The numerous screens flicker to life, illuminating the room in a blue glow. The cameras are perfect; detailed quality, blur-less zoom. Every angle. It quickly becomes his favourite room to be in, despite only being in it once when he headed home to initially set everything up.
At the base, all he needs is an electronic device and an app to access the command. His favourite to use is his phone, flicking through each screen to take in the rooms, committing each detail and decoration to heart. Though to keep up all professional appearances, he often settles for his laptop, flicking between reports and gazing at the screens with every spare second. John takes the weeks leading up to break to memorise your house, seeing each room flickering on the back of his eyelids as lies in bed, tracing each path you’d take morning and night until he falls asleep.
He protects it. Types your address into his maps app, virtually scouting the neighbourhood to make sense of all your outside cameras, memorising every surrounding street. Plans escape routes, recording positions of defence and any weak spots he could reinforce, windows or vents that are just too easy to wrench open by perverse men like him. Within a month, he knows your house plan like his own; enough to contemplate how he would reorganise it if you wanted him to move in, how many little ones it could hold, tiny feet pattering up and down its hallways.
--- ︻デ═一 ---
When the last week before leave finally comes around, he’s beyond ecstatic. John is a carefully controlled slate around anyone else, but his boys know each twitch of his eyebrow and quirk of his lip. They clue you in to his unusually excited behaviour with teasing jokes and remarks that have him rolling his eyes, gruffly ordering them back to work. Soap is betting on a secret missus, making a point to sneak up behind Price when Soap catches him texting away on his phone.
When he finally arrives home, he’s delighted to see your house is still empty. It gives him time to unpack, running loads of laundry and showering. He keeps an eye on his phone, monitoring the screens until he finishes, bringing a cup of coffee and dinner to his little surveillance room.
The screens fill the wall, a 3x3 set-up that basks the room in a pale glow, yet still isn’t enough to display every camera hidden around your house. Everything is silent, the occasional rumble of a car getting his hopes up, but nothing happens until a few sips of his coffee and an article later. Movement from one of the screen catches his attention, his head straightening to watch your front door swing open.
A bag is the first thing that comes through the door, flung down the hallway with a dull thud. Your figure follows it in, heaving another heavy bag behind you. John frowns at the sight, mindlessly tutting as he crosses his arms. He could be there to do that for you. None of this silly straining yourself.
Leaning back and settling in, he watches how you unravel from your long absence. It pleases him that you’re practical in your return, taking the time to wash your laundry, circulate and dispel all the stagnant air (although Price dislikes seeing your windows open, so unattended), and give the place a general tidy up. There’s a ping from your phone a few times that puts John on edge. Who’s texting you already, when you’ve been back for less than a day? His prominent guess is family and close friends, excited to have their beloved child home and safe, but he can’t help from worrying that he’s wrong. Maybe you’re so pent up that you just can’t help it, using those silly dating apps you talk about with Gaz, eager for someone to unravel all that need within you. Maybe it’s an old friends-with-benefits situation you already have that’s eager to climb back in your bed. Maybe – maybe he should bug your devices.
His deliberations are disrupted as you reward your productivity with what Price thinks to be a party in your bathroom. The small haven of what should be privacy isn’t free from his omniscient gaze, either. He doesn’t care if it’s disgusting; there are no boundaries to him. There isn’t a single side of you he doesn’t want to see, doesn’t want to know.
The music comes through his speakers, some songs he recognises from the long travels spent in transport together. Melodies echo through your room as steam slowly gathers, whisps streaming in and out of his lens view as water slowly fills the bath. You trail from the room, meandering down the hall and grabbing some snacks from the kitchen, filling a glass with a carbonated drink you grab from the fridge. Snug in the corner above the entryway, paired neatly with the fire alarm, his camera catches the way you bend yourself over the counter, distracted by scrolling through some app.
He feels himself throb at the sight, fumbling to take a screenshot of the image. You tease him, staying bent like that as you wait for the bath, your ass swaying occasionally when a trendy song hums from your phone. Disappointment washes through him when you stand up, though he basks in the sight of your stomach peaking from under your shirt as you stretch, but his excitement is quickly renewed when you gather your snacks and head back to the bathroom.
The room has filled with a thick fog that blooms out into the hallway as you open the door. It clouds his vision, leaving him cursing for not considering the possibility. Your darkened figure is hardly visible as you move throughout the room, but from the soft, metallic clicks and flickering of light, he assumes you’re lighting something. Two lights blossom in front of you, remaining behind you as you crouch at the bath and start flicking the lighter again. The cloud has dispersed enough to let John see the fuzzy details of your face, watching as you bring a third candle to your face, inhaling with a hum of delight before you light the flame and return it to the bath’s edge. You strew the candles about the room, leaving a large one to glow on your vanity and putting the other one on your closed toilet lid.
You fiddle with the taps – running cold water, he guesses – and sit on the floor, sorting your snacks onto a long tray as the last of the mist spills from the room. He’s been lucky this time; had you not been treating yourself, taking the time to create a small sanctuary, the fog would’ve concealed any chance of John seeing you at such a vulnerable time. A flaw within his system that requires refinement. Perhaps a flaw he can turn into an excuse to visit you.
His thoughts fall flat when you stand up, slotting the tray into its position over the bath and silencing the taps with a few sharp turns. Finally. The point he’s been anticipating.
The captain waits with bated breath, eager to salivate over his uninvited striptease. It’s far from the first time he’s seen you undress, though it’s the first time you’ve been so beautifully unaware. Close proximity (and the resulting lack of privacy) is just another test of comradery – he’s showered next to you in just underwear and ripped your shirt or pants off to treat a stab wound more times than he can count.
But this time you undress, you don’t stop at your underwear.
There’s no to palaver or parade to your performance – there’s no real performance, just a one-sided show, and that alone has John’s cock aching. Capturing you without filter, pretences or social expectations, no song and dance of captain and soldier. You’re clumsy pulling off your underwear, catching the elastic on your toes and throwing it haphazardly onto the floor with the rest of your clothes through curses and grumbles. Inspecting yourself in the mirror, catching up on each new scar and burn, bending over and peering around to see the state of your backside and between your thighs. This is a side of you he can never glimpse on base, despite all his attempts.
The buzz of your phone distracts you, straightening up with a right, okay! and grabbing the small device, unlocking it to peer at the content as you gingerly slide a foot into the hot, soapy water. Bit by bit, you emerge yourself within the sudsy liquid, minding the tray as you let out an audible groan. John watches you melt into the bubbles, arms resting along the tub as your head falls back.
For a while, the two of you remain like that; John sat comfortably in his chair, ignoring the heat flickering in his lower stomach as he works through some papers, keeping an eye on your relaxed form as you decompress within the hot, sudsy water, picking at the tray of food and drink. His attention slips as the minutes go by, becoming more focused on his work – pushing the aching need between his legs further to the side - as he checks the screen every ten minutes.
The swishing of water becomes a tranquil ambience as you scrub at yourself, low voices from your phone that John doesn’t currently care to make out keeping you entertained through the process. You luxuriate in the tub for much longer than the barrack would ever allow, taking your time to scrub the build-up of product and dead skin that you give little concern during deployment.
A paper absorbs his attention, keeping his eyes occupied as he grumbles through writing. His concentration is only torn away as he finishes scribbling his signature, a sharp, unexpected moan filling his ears that has him looking up so fast his neck cricks. Scanning the screen, he quickly determines that it’s not coming from you – rather, your phone, and is now accompanied by a deep, masculine groan.
Your expression is clear on his screen, a flush to your cheeks as you gaze at your device, hand running along your chest teasingly to tug at a nipple. Whether it’s from the pornographic material playing on your phone or the heat of the water, John can’t tell.
The tent of his pants is already insufferably tight, and he swears there’ll be a zipper print against the red of his aching cock when he pulls it out. He wants to relish this, commit each moment of this first time to memory without the taint of his lust, but he can’t help the growing need between his legs. Ignoring it to finish paperwork, merely bask in the company of your unwinding routine, has been a challenge even for his steeled resolve.
As he watches your hand trail down the soft pudge of your torso, dipping into the bubbly water to follow the rise and dip of your stomach, he breaks. His cock springs out of his briefs like it’s gasping for air, bouncing angrily against his stomach with each haphazard tug at the elastic around his hips. He can only imagine how your fingers work between your legs at that sensitive skin, how you orchestrate your undoing.
The tray holds your phone conveniently, allowing both hands to roam your body, and John thanks his luck for at least the opportunity to watch you pinch and roll your nipples between your fingers. You tug at the sensitive buds with whimpered moans, water sloshing as your hips buck against your hand, teasing John with actions that he can’t see.
He’s damp to the touch as he grips his shaft, fingers immediately sticky with precum that’s been smeared throughout his briefs. Pearlescent beads drool from his tip in a lazy stream, lubricating his motions as he tugs lightly at his foreskin, already teetering the edge of climax. The slightest stimulation has his stomach tightening, listening to your gasps and whines grow in urgency.
You chase your orgasm eagerly, working with a pent up need that comes from the absence of full privacy within the miliary. Convulsions rack through you in synchronisation, moans combining in a harmony he wishes wasn’t separated by the screen. He wants to time it perfectly; fuck up into his fist and release as you reach your own peak, as if a flawless synchronisation is key to unlocking some phantom sensation of being buried between your thighs, clenched down around him.
It doesn’t take much more teasing before you catch up, your tiles wet as water breaches the rim with each careless thrust. The video in front of you has ended, long forgotten as your head lulls back, lost in the sensations that envelope your consciousness that prove to be too much. They push you over the edge with a ragged cry, your knees peaking from the water as your thighs clench around your hand, and John loses himself too.
All it takes it a few weak thrusts into his hand before his balls are tightening, seed spilling in enthusiastic spurts, striping his shirt and pants before it dies down to a dribble that John coaxes out with a groan. He sits there, watching your breathing even out as you wipe away at your mess, spent and catching his breath as the cum dries on his clothes. You’re quick in cleaning up the mess, pulling yourself up on unsteady limbs as you pull the plug, bending down to rinse your hands one last time for John to relish.
He's almost heartbroken when you step out the tub, droplets cascading down to drip from your form, only to reach for a towel to wrap around yourself. The fabric is a slim cover, leaving glimpses of your behind and chest as you dry yourself, humming a tune with a note of content John wishes he brought instead. John tucks himself back into the soiled briefs, shucking off his shirt and pants to wash momentarily, but not before he glimpses you one last time getting changed.
Before you can reach for the underwear placed in advance on the sink and discard your towel, the camera barely picks up the vibration of your phone, catching both his and your attention. Leaning over to the tray, your process is halted by a text on your screen that makes you smile, and whether it’s the drunken, post-orgasmic haze that clouds his mind, or the way it makes him more vulnerable to the surge of jealousy that flares up at your giggle, John finds himself fumbling through the lockscreen and pulling up your contact before he can stop himself.
If you’re not going to think about him during your masturbation, he’s sure as hell going to make sure you think of him after.
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Dividers by cafekitsune
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guitarstringed-scars · 5 months ago
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how to lose a guy in 10 days- t. oikawa
masterlist
warnings/notes: mentions of throwing up, slight mention of drinking, angst
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day eight
you spent most of the day searching for a suitable dress to wear. you’ve heard of the sports gala, a dinner put on with all of the athletes and alumni to fundraise for the sports programs in the university. tetsuro attended last year, with the reasoning of covering an important event in sports, when really he just wanted a free fancy meal. he’d be attending this year as well, again just hoping for a free meal.
the two of you stand now fighting over the countertop space in the small cramped bathroom. you are perfecting your outfit, and kuroo is struggling to make his hair look presentable.
“is this good?” he asks, turning to you with a panicked look on his face. you grimace slightly.
“i mean, it just looks how it does every day?” you aren’t sure if this is a good answer.
it clearly isn’t, because kuroo lets out a loud groan before collapsing dramatically over the counter.
“i can’t go!” he exclaims, bumping into your side.
“you literally begged akaashi to let you cover it.” you roll your eyes at him, before exiting the bathroom. kuroo follows you into the living room. his tie is a bit crooked, and koushi fixes it in passing. yui is sprawled out on the couch.
“i’m so jealous of you two! i wanna dress up and go to a gala!” she complains.
“you could go in my place. i feel like i’m gonna throw up.” you say, putting your shoes on.
“oh whatever, you’re gonna have fun.” koushi chimes in, getting himself a snack in the kitchen.
you and tetsuro wave your goodbyes and head to the gala. you meet up with toru in front of the building. he’s leaning on the wall of hotel, dressed in the same suit he wore to dinner with you, hitoka, and kiyoko. he looks just as good in it now as he did then. he greets you with a hug, and a handshake for tetsuro. then, the three of you enter the building.
tetsuro quickly splits off from the two of you, finding akaashi on the far side of the room. you and toru waltz around the ballroom, greeting alumni and other donors. toru then splits off from you to get some drinks, you are approached then by someone you approach a tall man, recognizing him as koutaro bokuto, one of torus team members.
“hi, i’m y/n, i write for the tokyo weekly.” you say, shaking his hand.
“oh! nice to meet you, i’m bokuto!” he greets cheerfully. “have you seen toru oikawa? we kind of have a bet going and i’m looking for him to check up on it.”
a bet. what kind of bet? you think, confused.
“oh? what’s the bet?” you ask, digging for information.
“well, he bet 30 bucks that he could make any girl fall in love with him in less than 10 days, and i bet him 30 bucks he couldn’t, so we picked out a girl, and he apparently brought-” you cut him off, gesturing toward the general direction you watched toru go.
“he’s somewhere over there.” you feel sick to your stomach as you escape the conversation, rushing into the bathroom.
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tetsuro finds you outside of the bathroom, and the two of you escape from the hotel, standing out on the street.
“shit, i forgot my bag inside.” he says, clutching his head in his hands. “i’ll be right back, i’m gonna run and get it. wait here.”
he rushes back through the doors, and you sit down on the side of the building. you are wrapped in tetsuros suit jacket, staring off into space, when a pair of dress shoes approach you. its oikawa.
“are you leaving?” he asks. his voice is sharp. sharper than you’ve ever heard it.
“yes.” you look back down into your lap. you feel like a child being scolded.
“so what was i? some guinnea pig? that you could just, mess around with to see if i’d fall for it?”
you stand up now, facing him.
“yeah, and i was just some girl that your friends picked out in a bar.”
“well i guess now you can use it as a twist in your story.” he’s mad. your stomach aches. you let out a weak laugh.
“hey, that’s a great idea, maybe we should bet on it.”
it’s quiet now.
“you did your job y/n. you wanted to lose a guy in 10 days, well you just did it. in a record 8. congratulations, you just lost him.” he turns and walks away from you.
“no i didn’t toru.” he stops and turns around. “cause you can’t lose something you never had.”
toru shakes his head, and fully turns around again, walking away. you sit back down at the hotel, tears starting to form in your eyes. tetsuro comes out of the hotel, his bag in one hand and stolen food in the other.
“lets get home.” he says, helping you up from your seated position.
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a/n: short and sweet!! lie of the century this is not sweet lol.
taglist: @hotvillianapologist @asapeveryday @zzzlevislothzzz @vivian-555 @theepitomeofswag
@girlkissersco @yuminako @cloooudmilk @r0seandth0rns @ilyless
@sereniteav @iluvmang @wyrcan @azharyy @kunihaver
@cherrypieyourface @walllflowerrrsss @mylahrins @ryuverse @nana7nana777
@cyenac @garfieldissocool @chris-continues @acowboykisser @iheartpinky
@idkanymorebuthere @dailyakira @neru-is-restless @wave2mia @v-e-r-t21
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ariisheresstuff · 2 years ago
Note
Hiii i have a Javier Pena request if thats ok?🤍
I was wondering if you could do something where like Javi is a bit dismissive of the reader, but also not mean just ignores them or talks over them and they think he doesnt like them..
then shes on a mission and she gets injured and hes panicking back at the office. Shouting at steve to know where you are etc. then you come into the office like bruised and bloody and he rushes to you, protective. And he takes you to his and cleans you up, eventually leading to fluffy romantic smut and ending with cuddles and admitting his feelings for you
Scared Feelings
Pairings: Javier Peña x fem!reader
Genre: Angsty + Smut
Warnings: Blood, mentions of dying, cuts, wounds etc. MINORS DNI sex, cursing, naked, cum, you know the drill
MasterList
A/N: Ty for this lovely request! Enjoy! <3
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You have been working with agent Peña and agent Murphy for some time. Ever since you three have been on with this Escobar case. This was probably the most serious and risk taking cases you have been on since you started working as a DEA agent. Murphy was a sweetheart around you, being a gentlemen and making sure you’re doing what you’re supposed to be doing. Javi on the other hand, let’s just say you guys don’t talk that much. You wouldn’t consider yourself friends. Sure you two greet each other but it’s very awkward and the tension is very sharp for no reason. Steve tried asking you what’s been the issue between you and Javi but you can’t seem to know why he doesn’t like you. You brush it off mostly, not wanting it to effect you so much.
It’s been months since you guys haven’t caught Escobar and everyone was getting frustrated.
“If we don’t find this son of a bitch, we all are going into a shithole.” Steve gritted out through his teeth.
“We tried everything, nothing. His guys are talking, what else is there to do. He’s too smart for us.” You said as you took a drag from your cigarette,
“Then we outta risk it.” Javi said making you and Steve turn to look at him,
“Then what? Have us die and make shit more complicated here?”
Javi scoffed at Steve’s remark, “This is our job Steve, we’re meant to risk our lives.” You said making Steve sigh, he ran a hand through his mess blonde locks as he shook his head. “Fuck it.”
You were assigned a mission downtown where apparently one of Escobar’s closet henchmen was meeting up with someone relative to Escobar. Unfortunately, Steve and Javi were ordered to stay back at the office and signal out radio stations to get any phone call information from Escobar. You assigned with other DEA agents, you just wished you were with Steve and Javi even though Steve was most likely better to be around in these types of situations. “Currently downtown, no signs of any suspicion yet.” You said over the Walkie-Talkie to Steve
“Copy that.”
“You think she can handle this?” Javi asked as he took a drag from his cigarette
“Of course she can, you think she can’t?”
Javi shrugged “Just saying, she’s never done it without us before.”
Steve smirked as he looked at his partner
“What?”
“You like her, don’t ya?
Javi choked on the smoke from his cigarette “The fuck? What’s your problem?”
Steve just wheezed as Javi was turning red “Aw, come on man, I know you do. Is that why you’re always quiet around her?”
Javi sighed as he leaned back in his chair giving Steve the finger “Shut the fuck up man.” Steve just shrugged as he continued to snicker making Javi grumble.
“He’s on the move.” You said into the Walkie-Talkie as you got out of the vehicle and crouched as you slowly made your way over to the guy, Steve jumped at your voice “Copy that kid, stay hidden.”
“On it.” You signaled the other agents to go in different directions and to follow your lead no matter what. You noticed the guy giving the dude some clear bag with something in it. You couldn’t tell what. “Target in sight.”
“See? Piece of cake for her.” Javi rolled his eyes as him and Steve continued on getting any radio signal but also keeping the lookout for you. You were about to stand up but to only feel someone yank you to the ground. You yelped in surprise as you tried to fight back. Apparently you were tricked. The guy had more of Escobar’s henchmen surrounding the area you were at watching. “I’m down! It’s a trap!” You managed to say in the Walkie-Talkie while confusing to get the guy off of you. Javi’s eyes widened at that as Steve stood up grabbing the Walkie-Talkie. “Y/N! Hey! Kid! What’s going on!” You didn’t have time to answer as you were struggling with some guy on top of you with a gun.
“Perra estúpida, ¿crees que nos engañaste?” Stupid bitch, you think you outsmarted us? The guy said while punching you in the stomach making you yelp in pain, you tried to grab his fist but he was much more stronger than you. You quickly grabbed the Walkie-Talkie trying to respond back to Steve
“Send backup! Send backup!” You yelled as the man grabbed the Walkie-Talkie as started hitting you in the head with it before breaking it.
“Y/N! Hey! Y/N answer me! Shit!” Steve quickly got up to and ran to his and Javi’s office to grab his gun
“The fuck is happening?” Javi asked while also grabbing his gun
“She’s in trouble, it was a trap.”
“Fuck.” Javi said quietly, him and Steve exited the office was about to exit the building when Messina blocked their way
“And where do you think you two are going?”
“Y/N is in trouble boss, she needs backup.”
“I will take care of that, you two aren’t going anywhere.”
“Are you fucking kidding me?” Messina gave Javi a look
“Yes I am Agent Peña. We need you two signaling in the radio room right now.”
“But Y/N is in serious trouble right now Messina.” Steve said as he was getting frustrated knowing you were in danger.
“I understand that agent Murphy, but we are sending backup right now. I ordered you both a job, correct?”
Javi shook his head as he sighed “Yes Ma’am.” Messina nodded her hand
“Fantastic.” She dismissed them both as they walked back to the radio room.
“Fucking bullshit, she’s in trouble right now and she isn’t doing shit to help her. Fuck!” Javi slammed his gun down on the table harshly as he bounced his leg,
“Javi, calm down. Y/N is a strong one.”
“Anything could happen to her Steve.”
Steve gave Javi this look, “Who Are you and what you have with Javier Peña?”
“Fuck, I don’t have time for this Steve.”
Steve bit down a smile “Knew you liked her man.” He whispered knowing Javi couldn’t hear him.
“Ah!” You yelped as the guy that was broke your Walkie-Talkie slammed you into a wall. Where is Steve? Where is Javi? You kept thinking they weren’t coming. Tears were clouding your vision, you never been in this type of situation before for any mission you were assigned.
“Suéltame pedazo de mierda!” Let go of me you piece of shit! Your nose was bleeding as well as the side of your head from being pushed down in the cement of the sidewalk, you had bruises everywhere. The tears started to fall as you prayed for someone to save you. You jumped at every gunshot that rang around your surroundings, event DEA agent that was working with you was either dead or saving themselves. The guy grabbed you by the throat as he began to block your airway. You gasped for air as you grabbed onto the hand that was around your throat, punching at him to the best of your ability.
“Hora de morir perra DEA.” Time to die DEA bitch his other hand reached down to his gun as he aimed it towards your temple.Your heart was racing as you thought about the last seconds of living, you closed your eyes as the tears began to fall harder “Please…” you gasped out as you felt the coolness of the gun stick harder into your head when all of a sudden a long bang rang through your ears. You body jolted as you felt to ground. Blood splattered all over you as you froze. The guy was laying dead with a gunshot to his head. Your breathing was uneven as you couldn’t process what just happened. You heard the sirens and saw flashing lights appear to view. More DEA agents were sent as they were helping you and the others settle everything. One of them helped you into another car to drive you back to the station. You were shaking the whole and couldn’t even speak with how traumatized you were from the scene.
Javi was pacing around the office while Steve watched him. Javi went through at least two packs of cigarettes in the last few hours. That’s how scared he was for you. He couldn’t even believe he was showing how much he cares about you.
“Dude she’s fine. I’m sure she’s ok-
“How the fuck do you know that Murphy?” Javi snapped at him as his hands started to shake, “it’s been three fucking hours since we heard anything. You call that okay?”
“Javi, the more you think this, the worse it becomes for you.” “I need to know if she’s safe or not or so help me—
he was interrupted by the door opening, he jolted up to see Messina. “We got her.”
Javi and Steve sprinted to the entrance of the office to see you wrapped in a blanket all hurt and scared. You looked up at the two men with tears falling down your face and your bottom lip trembling. “Gosh kid.” Steve muttered as he was the first to pull you into a tight hug and he rubbed your back and shushed your whimpers to calm you down.
“I-I’m sorry, I-I didn’t know—
“Stop. It’s not your fault. None of this is Y/N.” He gave your shoulders a squeeze as gave you a small smile as you sniffled. You then turned to Javi who had a worried look on his face. Your smile faded as you looked into his brown eyes. He walked up to you slowly before he wrapped his arms around you as he hugged you as well. You body tightened as you froze. Javi never hugged you before.
“I’m glad you’re okay cariño.” He whispered into your ear making sure Steve and the others didn’t hear him. Your body relaxed in his touch as you hid your smile in his chest as you hugged him back. You both pulled away after a few seconds as you gave Javi and Steve a smile making them smile back at you. You all turned towards the entrance as you watched all the men that attacked in handcuffs be sent away into rooms. You felt the heavy weight on your shoulders release knowing that you were safe. Steve was first one to break the silence.
“Well, it’s time for me to head home. Got a wife and kid to deal with.” He said with a snicker making you smile.
“Tell Connie I said hi.”
Steve nodded as he brought you into one last hug for tonight
“If you need anything, you call me. Anything.”
You nodded at Steve as kissed his cheek as a way of saying thank you. Steve smiled as he squeezed your shoulder as a way of saying bye before waving off Javi and telling him about seeing him tomorrow. Now it was just you and Javi. You swayed around as you looked at your fingers. Too shy to start conversation.
“So you heading home or…”
you jumped lightly at his suddenly voice before looking up at him.
“Oh, um I walked here this morning. I’m fine with walking my apartment isn’t far—
“Like hell you’re walking home after what just happened. Come I’ll take you.” You didn’t have a chance to respond as you shrugged before grabbing your things from your desk before walking up to Javi.
“This isn’t my apartment Jav.” You looked out the window to see his and Steve’s apartment, he turn off the car before stepping out and helping you.
“I know, just figured you needed a drink after tonight. Besides I have stuff to help your wounds and shit.”
You couldn’t help but feel your cheeks tingle at that face that he wants to help you. You didn’t say anything before walking up to him as he lead the way to his apartment. You both made it to his floor as he got out his door keys before opening up the door. He stepped to the side as he gave you a small smile “Ladies first.” You giggled as you stepped into his dark apartment
“Why thank you kind sir.” You teased back making Javi chuckle a bit. You looked around his apartment. “Nice apartment.”
“It’s nothing.” You sat down on his couch as he went to the kitchen to get you a drink. You winced as you felt your bruises becoming worse. You sort of forgot about them. Javi came back with a glass of whiskey. You thanked him as he set his own drink down before going down the hall. You drank the strong liquor in silence as you enjoyed the strong bitter taste. You licked your lips as you set the cup back down as Javi came back with a first aid kit. “Javi, I’m fine really. You don’t need to do all of this.” He shook his head
“I know, I just feel like it’s best to see you in good hands rather than suffering.” He sat next to you as he grabbed out a few cotton ball and peroxide. You sighed before nodding
“Thank you.”
“No need to thank me cariño.”
Cariño
Something about that name made butterflies appear in your stomach and your cheeks became all red.
You winced as the peroxide was stinging your open wound that was on your cheek. “Sorry.” Javi said as he quickly cleaned up the cut
“It’s okay.”
He set a bandaid on your cheek before giving you a soft smile “You’re all patched up.” You smiled, happy that it was over.
“Wow Javi. Maybe you should be in the medical field instead.” You teased as he shook his head while chuckling. You watched him as he put away the first aid and came back with more whiskey. You watched him fill up both of your cups with golden brown liquid as he took out his cigarette packs. He lit one up as he laid back. You both sat in silence for a while before you spoke up. “Javi?” He hummed in response, you sighed as you felt your heart appear in your throat. “How come you never spoken to me?” Javi felt his heart skip a beat as he looked at you, it caught him off guard. So you did notice it. He thought to himself. He set down his cigarette on the ash tray as he rubbed his hands together.
“Listen. It was nothing about me being against you. No hate towards you or anything like that. It’s just… ever since you came around, I’ve felt nervous being around you.” You gave him a frown making him panic “Not in a bad way, it’s just— fuck— you make me feel these types of things I never experienced before.” Your eyes went wide as you felt your heart tighten,
“W-what do you mean.” Javi sighed as he felt himself getting hot and sweaty. It’s now or never.
“I have these feelings around you. Like deep feelings.” You mouth went dry as you understood what Javi was saying, you swallowed.
“You like me?” Javi looked down as he rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment.
“Yes.” He said quietly but for you to still hear, you froze. “I’m sorry if you felt like I didn’t like you or seemed disrespectful around you. I was just nervous about messing up around you and you thinking I was some dick or something.” You but your lip as you tried to hide the smile appearing on your lips watching him ramble on. “Steve was teasing me about liking you and shit. I’m just a dick for telling you earlier I’m sorr— you cut Javi off as you grabbed the side of his face as smashed your lips on his. It caught Javi off guard as he made a surprised noise and tensing up. He then was brought back down to earth before he relaxed as he wrapped his arms around you to pull you closer. You sighed as your hands traveled to his hair as he cupped your face bringing your face closer and deeper. Javi groaned as you moaned lightly. You both pulled for air but not enough to where your lips were still touching. You both were panting as you both looked into each other’s eyes.
“Was that enough to answer?” You said as Javi chuckled. You leaned your forehead on his as he started to slowly kiss down your neck.
“Hmmm, I don’t know cariño. I think I still don’t understand. Maybe you should show me.” He growled as he started to nip at your neck making you jolt and whine slowly. You crawled into his lap as you started to grind your hips on his already hard cock. Javi groaned as he yanked off his shirt and pants and helping you out of yours. His mouth watered as he stared at your bra. He looked up at you with permission making you nod as you continued to grind on him and moaning.
Javi’s hands were shaking in excitement as he took off your bra with one hand. You looked at him with wide eyes as he smirked at your expression. “Javier you naught menace. How in the hell do you know how to do that?” You nipples hardened at the cool air,
“I may have some experience.” You shook your head as he chuckled lowly. He continued to kiss down your neck before trying to find your sweet spot. You moaned as you rain your fingers through his hair. Hickeys and bite marks scattered all over your neck. Your body jolted as you yelped. “Mmm found it.” You cum right then and there as Javi helped you roll your hips on his hard bulge.
“Javi.”
“What’s wrong baby?”
“N-need you.” Javi chuckled
“Oh you need me?” You nodded as you watched him move down to your tits. You moaned a bit louder as he started to squeeze each tit like a stressing hall. “Words baby.” You whined
“Yes, I-I need you Javi.” He smirked as he continued to play with your boobs. He leaned down as he brought a nipple in his mouth “Oh fuck, Javi.” You moaned as he swirled his tongue over the hardening bud.
“Beautiful. The most beautiful tits ever baby. Gosh, you’re so fucking hot.” You felt yourself getting more wet at his praising.
“Oh fuck! Javi!” You yelped as Javi switched positions with you. You were now laying on the couch as Javi hovered over you. He leaned down as he smashed his lips on yours. You both moaned as you both were grinding your hips together.
“Bet that pussy of yours is all wet for me.” You furrowed your eyes-brows as you nodded at him making him smirk. “Bet you want me to fucking eat you out till your screaming my name Hm?” You quickly nodded at him
“Please Javi, I-I want you to eat my pussy. Please baby I’ll do anything.”
“Good girl begging like the good princess you are.” He leaned down to kiss you as he shoved his tongue in your mouth. You moaned as you wrapped your tongue around his. Spit coming out on the sides of your mouth as your teeth were clanking with his form how rough your make out was. Javi released the kiss as he started to kiss down your body. You shivered from his kisses as he praised you with words
“So beautiful, so sexy, you’re all mine cariño. All.Fucking.Mine.” He growled as he got lower, he kissed around your belly making you whimper as he got to your thighs. Your thugs started to shake making Javi hold them as he kissed your inner thighs so slowly making you squirm.
“Javi please, d-don’t tease me.”
“But where’s the fun in that baby?” He continued to tease you for a while before he started to go to where you needed him most. Your body started to shake from excitement. Javi licked his lips as he admired your lacy panties. He dragged a finger over your lips making you jolt, he then slowly started to rub your clot through your underwear.
“Oh! Fuck!” Javi licked his lips
“Gosh you’re so fucking sexy squirmy for me like a pathetic slut aren’t you mi amor?” You felt butterflies coming in your stomach at the nickname. He then leaned down to press the softest kiss to your clit making you cry out. He dove his nose into your slit as he inhaled your scent. He groaned. “Gosh you smell so good and sweet baby. You want me to taste you?” You nodded quickly making him chuckle. “Don’t worry baby, I will be tasting you.” In a split second he ripped off your underwear. You didn’t even care at this point. He didn’t give you a warning before he dove into your pussy. You moaned so loud it echoed around the living room. Your fingers dove into his messy locks as you grinder on his face.
“Oh shit! Oh my god. Javi you’re so good. Oh my god- baby!” Javi hummed into your pussy as he entered in two fingers into your slit. He then started to kiss your clit multiple times before he sucked on it. Hard. You felt yourself get dizzy as you felt your orgasm coming.
“Shit baby, the most wettest, most beautiful pussy. You gonna come cariño?”
“Yes! Fuck yes!” He felt You tightened around his fingers. He started to finger you more faster as he continued to suck on your clit.
“Let go for me baby. Cum all over my face.”
Your legs shook as your fingers yanked into his locks. Your eyes rolled back into your head as you saw white.The coil in your tummy snapped as you felt your orgasm wash over you. Javi helped you ride out your high as he continued to kitten lick your clit and slit. You jolted as he continued to lick your clit. You whimpered as you pulled him from the back of his neck back to your face, you smashed your lips on him making him groan. You whined as you tasted yourself on him, you plunged your tongue into his mouth making him growl as he cupped your face. You both pulled away with a string of spit connecting your lips. Your hands were reaching down to take his cock out of his boxers, he then stopped you as he grabbed your wrist gently before shaking his head as he smiled at you. “Not tonight baby, I need to be inside you.” You whined as you smirked at him before pecking his lips twice. You laid back down only making him shake his again. You gave him a frown. “I want you to ride me baby.” You felt butterflies again at his low tone making you smile before nodding at him. You quickly got on his lap as you wrapped your arms around his neck. You admired how toned and sort of buff he was. You smiled as you started to touch his shoulders and biceps making him chuckle. “You like what you see cariño?” You giggled as you kissed his neck
“Never realized how strong you were Javi.” Javi smirked at you as he aligned his cock to your entrance. His hands were on your hips as you stared into his eyes. Him staring back at you.
“You ready?” He asked quietly as you nodded, he nodded with you as he slowly started to sink into you. Your body jolted at the feeling before you let out a surprised moan. Javi groaned as his grip tightened on your hips. “Oh fuck, you’re so tight mi amor.”
“O-oh, fuck— Javi, you’re so big.” He chuckled as he helped you move your hips slowly.
“Feels good baby?” You nodded as you started to bounce on his cock, “Need words cariño.” You whined
“Y-yes Javi, feels so good. Fuck! Don’t stop.”
“I’ll never stop. Never.” He growled as he kissed and sucked on your neck. Your bouncing got faster as Javi moved your hips. Your fingers tugging onto his hair. You felt hot and sweaty. You’re moaning got louder as so did Javi’s.
“Fuck! I’m gonna cum. I’m gonna fucking cum. Can I cum inside you mi amor?” Javi groaned out. You looked down at him as you started to feel tears form in your eyes from the overstimulation. You nodded your head rapidly.
“Please!please! Please cum inside me Javi! I wanna feel your cum.” Javi smashed his lips on yours hard as he helped you grind harder and faster on his dick. Your moaning picked up as the tears fell down your red cheeks. Javi slapped your ass making you jump.
“Cum with me baby. Fucking cum.” You cried out as your body started to shake. Your mouth was open with no sound coming out. You both paused your movements before you both moaned and groaned together. Your bodies started to shake uncontrollably. Javi groaned loud and deep in your neck as you wrapped your arms around his neck to bring him closer.
“Oh shit, mmmm fuck.” You moaned out, Javi panted in your neck as his hands rubbed your back.
“Shit.” Javi muttered out. Your legs felt like jello as you stayed wrapped in his arms with his cock still in you. You kissed Javi’s temple as you ran your fingers through his hair to calm him down. You’re bodies all sticky and hot. Javi then pulled out of you making you whine at the loss of contact and making Javi whimper at the coolness hitting him. He jolted as he calmed his breathing down. He reached over to grab his pack of cigarettes before lighting one up. He laid down with you on his chest. You sighed as you stared up at him, admiring his bare chest and him smoking. You both laid there in silence. You rested your head on his chest as you relaxed at the sound of his heartbeat.
“Javi?”
“What’s wrong cariño?” His voice rumbled through his chest making it vibrate. You looked up at him to see him staring back at you. It only made you smile.
“Nothing. Just… does this mean something?” Javi exhaled a fog of smoke as he gave you a smile
“What do you think mi amor?”
“I’m assuming maybe?” You teased making him roll his eyes at you before chuckling. You chuckled back as you sat up to be closer to him. You took the cigarette from his hand as you inhaled, you stared into his eyes as you exhaled. Javi hummed as he cupped your face. You finished the cigarette before placing it on the ashtray.
“You are something, you know that?” You shrugged at him as you played with his hair,
“I’ve been told.” Javi smiled at you before pulling your face closer to his as you both shared a loving, long kiss. You sighed as you wrapped your arms around his neck, him wrapping his around your back. You both continued the kiss as you snuggled into his warm embrace. Slowly falling asleep in each other’s touch.
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