#but I can tell she wants to
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My mom stopped doing therapy a few years ago and I wish that she hadn’t. I mean, a therapist isn’t going to help the fundamental issues, esp not at this point. Heck she was in therapy throughout my entire childhood and it’s not like that made her not abuse me. But her dad just died and she’s having lots of feelings about it and if she took those feelings to a therapist instead of me that would be great. But she flat out refuses every time my dad or I bring it up.
#text post#my post#I’m doing a pretty good job of not letting her vent to me#but I can tell she wants to#like she’ll start crying on the phone and say how she’s having such a rough time with grandpa’s death#and I can feel her waiting for me to ask but I just say ‘I’m sorry it’s been so difficult’ etc#but yeah it would be nice if a) she’s stop trying to get me to ask and b) she’s actually get some help for her own sake#can you tell I spoke to my mother and asked her to get therapy today?#her response: ‘no I don’t want to go there. I’m just going to wait until trump wins in November and then assess’#me internally: fuck is this another reference to suicide? does she want to kill herself if he wins?#me externally: ‘do you think you’ll leave the country?’#bc I was not opening the fucking ‘if the world gets worse let’s just kill our selves’ conversation again#but I’m pretty sure that’s what she wax implying. but I’m ignoring that thank you very much#suicide cw#just in case
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so this summer i am nannying a 5 year old who loves miraculous ladybug (my dream) & every day she asks if we can play ladybug and chat noir at the park. these are some comics based on our various games<3
#usually she is ladybug. and i’m hawkmoth#adrien is sometimes a random object or we just pretend he’s there#or sometimes i’m adrien#one time we played where she was ladybug and she betrayed me(adrien) and gave both our miraculous to hawkmoth#and i just collapsed to my knees crying from the betrayal#i’m really super normal about it.#anyway i love my job it’s great#ml#miraculous#miraculous ladybug#my art#ladybug#adrien agreste#marinette dupain cheng#it’s so funny bc i can tell by now which episodes she’s watched bc she’ll want to act them out#usually she wants to act out dark cupid#which is a banger episode. so good#or the paris special#again. banger.
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The FNAF Vanessas meet their younger selves..
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#fnaf vanny#fnaf vanessa#vanessa shelly#vanessa afton#fnaf movie#security breach#fnaf fanart#MORE SCENE VANNY 🩵🩵🩵#also this is a semi sequel to the Mikes ver I made#seeing I think the Vanessas deserve the funny too 😤#I like to think Vanny would tell her younger self white lies#she knows at that age she just wanted to know life would get better for her#seeing teen her was stuck living with her awful father#Vanessa’s life does get hard again as an adult but.. SINCE HW2 I think she’s in a better place#finally stood up to her abuser and all so it does get better#WHILE MOVIE VANESSA …#bit more manic here BAHAH#listen if younger Vanessa loosen screws on her fathers suit#would anyone even know 🙏🏾#she could get away with it-#Movie Vanessa of course would want to prevent things anyway she can#the Afton kids always being a lil crazy is so real
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MIZISUA
#ALNST#alien stage#mizisua#yall can use the outfit as references if you want#if you actually do just please credit me and tag me so that i can see it huehhehe#mizi’s outfit is a bit messy but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ shes beautiful anyways#im such a fashionista can you tell 😼
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probably time for this story i guess but when i was a kid there was a summer that my brother was really into making smoothies and milkshakes. part of this was that we didn't have AC and couldn't afford to run fans all day so it was kind of important to get good at making Cool Down Concoctions.
we also had a patch of mint, and he had two impressionable little sisters who had the attitude of "fuck it, might as well."
at one point, for fun, this 16 year old boy with a dream in his eye and scientific fervor in heart just wanted to see how far one could push the idea of "vanilla mint smoothie". how much vanilla extract and how much mint can go into a blender before it truly is inedible.
the answer is 3 cups of vanilla extract, 1/2 cup milk alternative, and about 50 sprigs (not leaves, whole spring) of mint. add ice and the courage of a child. idk, it was summer and we were bored.
the word i would use to describe the feeling of drinking it would maybe be "violent" or perhaps, like. "triangular." my nose felt pristine. inhaling following the first sip was like trying to sculpt a new face. i was ensconced in a mesh of horror. it was something beyond taste. for years after, i assumed those commercials that said "this is how it feels to chew five gum" were referencing the exact experience of this singular viscous smoothie.
what's worse is that we knew our mother would hate that we wasted so much vanilla extract. so we had to make it worth it. we had to actually finish the drink. it wasn't "wasting" it if we actually drank it, right? we huddled around outside in the blistering sun, gagging and passing around a single green potion, shivering with disgust. each sip was transcendent, but in a sort of non-euclidean way. i think this is where i lost my binary gender. it eroded certain parts of me in an acidic gut ecology collapse.
here's the thing about love and trust: the next day my brother made a different shake, and i drank it without complaint. it's been like 15 years. he's now a genuinely skilled cook. sometimes one of the three of us will fuck up in the kitchen or find something horrible or make a terrible smoothie mistake and then we pass it to each other, single potion bottle, and we say try it it's delicious. it always smells disgusting. and then, cerimonious, we drink it together. because that's what family does.
#this is true#writeblr#warm up#relatedly for some reason one of our Favorite Jokes#amongst the Siblings#is like - ''this is so good u will love it''#while we are reacting to something we OBVIOUSLY find viscerally disgusting#like we will be actively retching and be like ''nooooo it's so good''#to the point that i sometimes get nervous if someone outside my family is like oh u should try it its good#(obvi we never force each other to eat anything. we are all just curious birds and#like. we're GONNA try the new thing.)#edit to answer why we had so much vanilla:#my mom is a very good cook and we LOVE to bake. so she just had a lot of staples in the house.#it's one of those things that's like. have u ever continuously thought ''ah i should get butter im probably out''#even tho u are not out of butter. so u end up with like 5 years of butter.#my mom would do that in a costco but like with vanilla extract#to be fair we WERE always using WAY TOO MUCH bc we were kids#so like she was right to stock up#ps. yes we were VERY sick after this lol i just didn't want to include it in the post in case ppl had an ick about that#u can tell it's real bc we knew "oh no we fucked up that's too much vanilla to waste'' but our reaction was to just. keep drinking it#> sibling understanding that vanilla extract isn't free > knowledge mother doesnt mind if we use it for milkshakes#> sibling choice to maybe get in a loophole of ''not wasting it'' if we drink it bc that's the same as using it (not throwing it out)#listen bud i was like 13 and my sister was like 9#when my mom discovered this we. got in. A LOT. of trouble. a lot of it. a LOT of it.#3rd edit bc i guess it isn't clear - i am 1 of my brother's 2 little sisters#i am the middle child#out of all the ways i have had to explain a post before being like ''did u forget a middle child can happen'' is my favorite
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pt 1 of some much requested cyra lore
#bg3#baldur's gate 3#tav#morgueweave#tw parental abuse#please take care i know this sort of thing hits for some people#i wrote this way too long and it's about as subtle as a punch in the face so i had to break it into pieces#teenage cyra is kind of an icon but also ouch ouch ouch#you can tell her egg donor is evil bc she doesn't have any eye shinies#madame with all due respect if you don't want your kid to call you out maybe don't have an affair#also i feel like cyra with no braids/glasses in an outfit that isn't black or brown is some kind of cursed. she shouldn't exist like this
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I like to think breaking the canary curse via dying in the void had some effects on Lizzie
#ldshadowlady#wild life smp#secret life smp#technically since she broke the curse there#trafficblr#smth smth breaking the curse means taking it upon yourself- smth smth the miners need a bird so they'll catch another one#I've been wanting to draw pink canary Lizzie ever since she broke the curse and the urge to combine void and shadow creature made me go ins#I wanted to draw BAM or as i would have caption them: Team Canary. But I had too many thoughts on Lizzie design so its just her#Can you tell I am very normal about Lizzie shadowlady? yes i draw her a lot and made her creature but thats normal behavior trust me trust#it was either canary seablings or aquatic seablings w/ whale Lizzie but idk how to work in whale so bird she is#my art#the whole breaking the curse means becoming the curse is very beast!wirt to me but its october so its fitting ig.
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:-P
#me: ive gotta read so fucking much by monday if i dont wanna look like a fucking idiot in my lab meeting monday#also me: if i dont draw maid sanji right fucking now im gonna puke#can u tell what my 2nd favorite shojo was in high school? many scenes still live rent free in my head#clannad was my 1st fave btw lol#also. god i kno i say this on every sanji post but i think abt him so much ever sing day#she is my absolute favorite babygirl. i hate him. i want her to suffer forever#female sanji#me in 2014: what if girl sanji? me in 2024: what if girl sanji???#vinsmoke sanji#sanji#roronoa zoro#zosan#one piece
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Young Justice's Luck Strikes Again
Batman sighs deeply and rubs a temple.
It was meant to be a simple space mission, nothing to big. Just a quick check and report back.
Only problem is the ones he would normally assign this to are all dealing with other things so he had to ask... Someone else...
Like...
The ones that were once Young Justice.
Look, they were the only only ones with a spaceship (How? He still had no idea, Tim keeps saying 'What happens in YJ, stays in YJ') that could go far out without problems, and even though he knew putting the old YJ team together might be a bad idea, he trusted them especially Red Robin to be just a bit more professional at least. Since they were no longer teens but young adults now.
And again it was meant to just be a quick mission.
Nothing big.
So...
So why was Young Justice currently wrangling two floating black haired toddlers, one with blue eyes while the other one had red, and a black haired baby.
Turns out they found these children floating in space on their way back from their mission, cryo sleeping in a ice block huddled and cuddled together around a well loved teddybear with a teal headband on its head.
Or they were sleeping in cryo sleep until Superboy brought the ice block in and the thing melted allowing the children to wake up.
Batman could feel a headache coming on when he noticed just how... attached Young Justice was becoming to the children as well and knew it would be a miracle if he could get them to separate from the children.
#danny phantom#danny fenton#crossover#dp x dc#blue rambles#danny phantom dc#writing ideas#random idea#dpxdc#de aged danny#de aged ellie#de aged dani#de aged dan#Bruce can already tell he isn't going to get YJ to leave the kids#he can see it#Dan has attached himself to Bart#he can sense the time powers around the speedster and because he's out of his own time too it works#Dani or Ellie is with Cassie. Cassie wants to teach her everything and become awesome. Which she will.#Danny is being held by Tim and Conner and talking their ears off and asking all the toddler questions about space and stuff#YJ says 'these babies are ours now'#The Fenton/Phantoms 'these people are ours now'#how and why they got deaged I leave open ended#YJ luck strikes again
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makes me giggle to think of X2 Logan meeting dp&w Logan when this is a thing
#“don't tell me you fuckin liked it 🤨” “you have no idea 😃”#x2 logan is going to see that in the tva screens and go 🤨😳🏳️🌈⁉️#dp&w Logan going “you don't understand he's fucked up he's my favorite of these assholes”#and then turn around and yell at wade “FUCKTARD”#hear the distinct “oh he's adorable can't resist flirting with me across the room LOVE YOU TOO SHITFACE”#“KEEP AN EYE ON OUR DAUGHTER OR IT'S MY SWORDS IN YOUR DELICIOUS ABS IN THREE SECONDS”#x2 Logan going 🤨 at the daughter in question mary puppins#Logan being as hung up on Jean as he'd been might just Reconsider mr wade wilson#👀👀👀👀👀👀👀#pspsps Logan#one rainbow brigade bitch to another? i dont think jean can do that#she clawed u up that one time but see what walmart santa claus is doing here#he's riddling you with bullets ✅ fuckin emptying the cartridges on your scrumdiddlydumptruck ass#he's stabbing adamantium ADAMANTIUM swords in you up until the sword hilts ✅#Logan listen#jean needed to be with phoenix first before Doing All Those Things Which She Did With You#but Deadpool? Deadpool is in it for the shits and giggles#Look. I'm not a woman of science. But there seems to be Chemistry among us.#I'd hit the emergency meeting button but i don't fucking want to 😁#deadpool and wolverine#deadpool#wolverine#deadpool 3#deadpool 2024#logan howlett#wade wilson#poolverine#deadclaws#Deadpool and Wolverine Honda#Deadpool and Wolverine Honda Odyssey
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Those were Vanessa's friends too in the FNAF movie
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#vanessa afton#fnaf vanessa#vanessa shelly#fnaf missing children#fnaf mci#abby schmidt#fnaf movie#fnaf fanart#OKAY time for your daily angst now#I can not stop thinking about Vanessa’s story in the fnaf movie#it was my take away that the ghost kids were actually Vanessa’s friends#and that’s why she cares sm for them#she builds forts and checks up on them etc#the ghost kids even tells Abby that Vanessa is nice and they like her#SO I think those were Vanessa’s friends#and in some way she’s happy Abby can talk to them#cause she doesn’t want them to be alone#Vanessa I’m so sorry this all happened to you 🩵
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the whole "jason rules crime alley and none of the other bats are allowed there!!1!" thing is so funny like. tim LITERALLY lives in the theater where bruce's parents died,
#rimi talks#sorry. thought about tim doing that again. what is WRONG with him kfjshakjdshfkjd#WITHOUT EVEN TELLING BRUCE UNTIL AFTER HED ALREADY DONE IT TOO.#TIMOTHY. WHY.#this is the other thing abt why i just dont like seeing jtodd in fanwork#whenever he appears like 99% of the time its in a way that is directly contradictory to actual comics#the 1% of people who actually read the comics and write him in such a way? fine great awesome!!#however i still am filtering that bitch out because hes kind of a catch-all for the most annoying batfanon tropes.#because. yknow. theres no other tags to filter out bc they dont Fucking tag it#alas. oh well. anyways can we go back to going hey tim what is wrong with you#because for real i think he got off way too easy for this one.#forget identity reveals i want the core four sleepover where tim's apartment gets its lore reveal#give me cassie doing such a dramatic spit take that she gets ice cream on the ceiling. picks up tim like a weasel. and goes WHY???#and hes just like. idk seemed like the right thing to do :)#tim
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I added some colours to her :)
#digital art#character art#character design#marcia#discworld#discworld fanart#angua von uberwald#bro i need to get weirder i need my art to be weirder i need the shapes i need the colurs i need to not play safe i need to be a freak#2025 goal become an even bigger freak i can never stop#i really like how she turned out#i never used such muted colours before i kinda like how murky she looks#a true ankhmorporkian#still making my way through men at arms they just found the clown#i am fascinated with the river that is running through that city#it makes me think of Bristol uk <3#going back to angua i like to think the armour they gave her was already all beaten up#hello and welcome to the nightwatch. have the nastiest underfunded gear we could find this side of the city#also i like to think that the official colours of ankh morpork are greenred#two colours on the opposing sides of the colour wheel but they are forced together to coexist#ankh would be green morpork would be red#and now everyone and their patrician just gotta cope#worldbuilding through colour would be fun : )#ohhh the inside of the palace could look quite cool because it would have to utilize both to celebrate the union#but then you go into the city and across the river you can sorta see the divide#not that all the houses would be one colour or whatever thats a bit predictable#but through fashion statements or exported goods or family insignia#and then you could incorporate it further for example vimes the guy of the city would want to take on the whooole thang. thats his city#some criss cross apple sauce checkers quilted mismatched mumbo jumbo#and then in contrast to that you would have his wife-elected suit and tie getup that distances him from his duty and kills him#so many options i tell you
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we were sitting on the floor and i was cutting out tiny pictures to make a collage for a friend's birthday. you were on your phone and you laughed about something, and i was still in love with you then, so i asked what had you giggling.
"sorry. i was just..." you took a moment and went back to texting. "i was telling someone about how you're afraid of the dark."
i'm afraid of the dark because something bad happened. "oh." i felt a little slinky of shame crawl down my throat.
you glanced up, and maybe it showed on my face, because you rolled your eyes and held the phone to the side casually so i could see the group chat. "what? was it a secret?"
i looked down to the scissors in my hand. "i just..." no, it's not a secret. it just felt like something private, something serious. saying why would you tell someone that just feels like an accusation. it's unfair. i honestly am not even ashamed of it, it's just a fact about my person that i don't usually share.
what a strange experience. is this a human thing or a generational thing? for our grandparents: did they need to worry about how quickly someone can just... share your personal information? again, i didn't even really have a true objection. what could i say? i want any person in my life to feel they can be honest with their friends. it's not like i said don't tell anyone this.
i cut out another letter to complete the rainbow happy birthday, started hunting for the exclamation mark. i heard you sigh dramatically.
"don't make a big deal about this," you said.
this entire conversation was a pattern for us, and this was when we got to my least favorite part of the pattern. i would get my feelings hurt in some oblique not-technically-terrible way, and then it would be making a big deal about something. you'd get frustrated for me for being soft, but i was born soft. you knew i was soft when you pierced me. it's one of the things that made controlling me so easy.
"i'm not," i felt my voice crack. the question came without my wanting. "why are you guys talking about me?" and why are you saying that thing? why not like - i'm telling them how you're generous and kind and pretty.
you let out this low, tragic groan. "oh my god." you tossed the phone away from your body. "there, see? i just won't talk to them if you don't like it."
the rest of the hour went the way it always went, between us: i said i don't actually mind if you talk to your friends but -, you found a way to call my minor expression of discomfort "being dramatic." you got upset that i had been offended. i ended up apologizing, even though i hadn't actually done anything.
afterwards, you picked up the phone again. after texting for a little bit, you snorted. "okay," you said, "but it is kind of funny you're afraid of the dark. i mean, when you think about it."
#spilled ink#writeblr#i'm trying to write about this really specific and wierd new experience#that i think is specific to the internet generation#where people you trust can just... say whatever??? and while most people are trustworthy#sometimes they'll just like... put ur shit out there????#and the thing is that sometimes it's GOOD - i want you to tell ppl if ur partner is being cruel!!!!!#i want u to be like ''hey is it normal if xyz happens'' ... but stuff like ''she's afraid of the dark''#PARTICULARLY when it's CLEARLY making fun of me....#what is the point of that.#this is huge and complicated and happens outside of romantic relationships too btw#like someone u thought of as a friend will be like . oh did u know she's scared of heights and it's like.#girl why are u fuckin doing that tho?#it's not a SECRET i just ...???????????????????????#and i think that gross feeling of like -- ''i can't REALLY be upset bc there's not a TRUE RULE about this....''#it's just not something talked about. bc it's so specific and yet so complex#bc how could i say like '' this is a violation of trust'' when it... technically I GUESS isn't????????????#idk maybe im just like super sensitive but please tell me in the comments/tags/etc if this is#something u have experienced (a trusted person like spreading ur shit) and if u were cool with it
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got uty au pilled again, sorry... more info under the cut
an AU where ceroba, in the end, refuses to inject kanako with the serum. even after all her research, she just can't trust that it's totally safe. while kanako accepts this, she still wishes she could eventually be of use somehow, and indirectly blames herself for her father's death.
despite all this, with kanako alive, ceroba is able to grieve chujin in a far less desperate way, still having her daughter by her side. as the years go by, ceroba devotes more and more of her time to finishing chujin's research in hopes of finally making a serum that can save the underground. kanako is determined to help, too -- together, they clean up chujin's lab and make it a far nicer place to work, because they're in this together now. well, in theory.
ceroba still certainly takes care of kanako and does her best to be a good mother, but as time passes, ceroba spends more and more time in the lab trying to find an answer. kanako, being the social butterfly that she is, can't bring herself to always stay shut inside like her mother; she travels daily to Oasis Valley, making friends and becoming the town darling. as ceroba spends more time working, kanako spends more and more time taking care of the estate, trying to spend time outside whenever possible.
but it gets kind of lonely. the ketsukane estate is off outside of Oasis Valley, and not many people come by. she's worried about her mother, who's been shutting her out as she becomes more desperate to find a solution. there's only so much to do at the house.
then, clover falls into the underground and explores the dunes. there are barely any other kids at this spot in the underground -- finally, someone around her age! she's immediately entranced by them and determined to become their friend, even after finding out they're a human -- that just makes them cooler...!
but there's a problem; kanako has seen her father's tapes, she knows that a human soul would be extremely valuable to producing the serum. of course, she wants to help save the underground, and she wants her mother to finally be rid of stress and be able to spend time with her again... but after spending time with clover, kanako knows there's no way she can let clover die. they're like the sibling she never had...
and kanako can't even let her mother know that clover exists, either; she knows exactly what will happen if ceroba finds out there's a human here. and yet, a secret part of her wishes and hopes that maybe, just maybe, ceroba could find value in clover as a person and then they could all live in the ketsukane estate together. it would be a dream come true! maybe there's even some way clover can help ceroba without having to give up their soul...?
but things aren't destined to work out that way. any number of things could happen.
clover could peacefully move on in their quest through the underground, leaving a sad and lonely kanako behind.
or, ceroba finds out about clover in one way or another, and things are not looking good. but would she choose to take clover's life at the cost of her daughter's one and only friend?
what if clover didn't come in peace, but in vengeance?
or maybe ceroba somehow accepts clover, growing to respect them after all is said and done, and she tries to experiment on a living human soul?
or maybe, wracked with grief and loneliness, kanako discards her mother's warnings and takes the new, updated serum herself, determined to become the hero for her family like she always wanted...?
or, something else could happen.
what if, after an unhappy ending, kanako wakes up on that same day again, waiting for clover to come by the ketsukane estate for the first time? she doesn't even know how it's possible, reliving the same few weeks over and over. she just wants to find her happy ending, and she'll search and search for as long as she needs to.
how long can she watch the same endings play out over and over?
#undertale yellow#uty#kanako ketsukane#uty au#clover uty#timeloops#you may be asking Goomy do the timeloops have anything to do with determination. how did kako get determination#my answer: Idk.#i just knew i wanted to put her in a timeloop for funsies ok#Lets all pretend she somehow SOMEHOW has more determination than flowey for WHATEVER reason. If you want.#OR this can be entierly unrelated to determination. i like this excuse better#there's no telling if anyone outside of flowey Actively Remembers saves/reloads#even the person supposedly doing the reloading like clover or frisk#IDK MAN. A LOT OF STUFF IS UP IN THE AIR I JUST WANTED TO PUT KANAKO IN HIGURASHI OK#TIMELOOPS HOORAAAAAY#goomyart#doodles#edit: ORRRR flowey helps kanako save instead of clover for some reason#why he would do this idk. maybe he wants a better ending too#and kanako is a faster way to access that rather than clover. Idk
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baby👶 drawings. these are very dear to me rn.. 2nd pic is my Nelavis with @barvin0k's Varonur 🩵 last one is a baby bosmer and snow elf, hairiest of them all. although the bosmer was meant to be my girl Barletta too lols
#tes#skyrim#my art#oc#nelavis#barletta#😭😭😭😭💔💔💔💔💔 babies are so sweetum ugh my heart is crumbling rn#referenced some anne g*ddes stuff for dis#i call them snow elves instead of falmer like g*lebor would want me to#i never really get to talk about my elf anatomies at length cus i'm lazy but i sprinkled some info in the first pic#altmer society is EugenicsLand so you could only tell if your child has 'good' traits when they hit puberty#ex. height and shoulder width is something very important to them#if you don't have those traits ur pretty much a failure#other elves have it easier 🤓#idk i still might make some kinda infographic for the way i picture them but umm maybe not who knows#on snow elves and bosmer the fur is still 'confused' when they're in baby stage and is pretty much everywhere#it evens out w/ age and stays on the back; neck; sides of face the most and in places where human body hair wud be#idk ummm..and i think all elves grow their nails out unless they're very intertwined with humans in their life#ex. my snelf elisif; she has her nails trimmed to be regarded as more human i guess#nails are most important to altmer tho and might be a status symbol of some kind... they like using them in combat too#it's shameful for an altmer to not have long nails for any reason but there can be exceptions#like my el*nwen that can't physically grow nails out because of burn injury#so she has fake ones on her combat gloves#it's cute#elf nails aren't as frail as human nails and are more like an animals claws (corny) but bosmers' are the sturdiest#and their nails are curved in shape. for U know. Climbing and stuff#cause dunmer and altmer etc. have straight nails. they can hit the nail salon
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