#but I also find him easy bc he gives me an excuse to write stream or conscience lmao

[soodoonimin]

Snippet of ch 2 of my poolverine fic:

Chapter title: Punch drunk love

Please keep in mind I don’t edit these until I finish the chapter, thank you! :)

[freddiesaysalright]

Hiiiii I was wondering if I could request an hc where the reader’s friend group (the cast) went on a vacation after they wrapped award season and invited her because she is Ben’s best friend and their friend as well, anyways the house they rent only has three bedrooms, which would be easy bc she would normally room with ben, but the cast has other plans to set up Joe and her so they make them room together (cont. on next ask)

(Vaca cont.) and there ends up being a lot of sexual tension that they aren’t used to feeling with one another and towards the third night then end up having steamy shower sex!! If this is too specific and you can’t write it that’s ok!! Thank you for even reading this if you do write it, I love your blog :)

Oh, I love this! Clearly, since I wrote a freaking novel lol. As the kids say, sis went off!!! Hope you like!

Now that everything was over, you were ready for relaxation. 

You were a PA on set, but as Ben’s best friend, of course you are invited on the post-BoRhap vacay with the cast, who you had gotten very close to. 

Especially Joe. 

You have no idea, but the rest of them totally want you two together and have been trying to make it happen for months.  

They rent a large house with lots of space. There’s a limited number of rooms, and you assume you’ll share with Ben, but Ben shakes his head. 

“Sorry, love, I already promised Gwil,” he says. “Just room with Joe. 

You ask Lucy if she would mind bunking with you so Rami can share with Joe but she refuses, saying she and Rami want alone time. 

With a sigh, you bring your suitcase up to the room, where Joe is already settling in. 

“Oh, are you not rooming with -?”

“Nope,” you cut him off. “Me and you are sharing. Is that okay?”

You almost miss the brief smile that claims his lips. 

“Yeah, fine by me.”

Then you both realize: there’s only one bed. 

Joe offers to take the floor, but you absolutely forbid it. This is his vacation, he’s sleeping in a bed. Besides, you guys are friends, it’ll be fine. 

The first day goes great. You all have fun on the beach, taking cute insta photos and swimming and building sand castles. 

When you call it a night, you shower in the bathroom you are also sharing with Joe. You emerge in just a towel to retrieve your pajamas, apologizing profusely and promising to remember to bring them with you next time. 

Joe just looks at you with his mouth hanging open. When it’s his turn to shower, he takes a cold one first. 

The first night is a little awkward. You find it difficult to get comfortable with Joe next to you but you can’t say why. 

Clearly, it isn’t very difficult for Joe since you hear him snoring a little bit. Unconsciously, he rolls over and drapes an arm over you. At first, you tense up all over. But then he pulls you close and he feels so warm and so safe. Sleep comes quickly after that. 

The next morning, he apologizes when he sees what happened, but you assure him it’s fine and you don’t mind at all. 

You have another great day, but you and Joe have several moments that feel almost like a couple. Like when you take a picture and his arm slips around your waist. Or when he moves some hair behind your ear. 

What really gets you is when he applies sunscreen to your back. Fuck, his hands hands feel incredible and you have to bite your lip to keep from moaning. 

The second night, after you’re both clean, you skip right to cuddling when you get in bed. Joe just opens his arms to you and you nestle right in. Only this time, he kisses your forehead before you both nod off. 

The third day is when the magic happens. You and Joe shamelessly flirt. Giggling, smiling, and finding any excuse to touch each other.

While you’re showering, Joe knocks on the door and asks if you’ll hand him his phone charger. 

“Just come in!” you say without thinking. 

The shower is just a glass door. Not a curtain. There’s steam to cover you, but it leaves very little to the imagination. 

Hesitantly, he pushes the door to the bathroom. He’s looking pointedly away from you. You take your bottom lip between your teeth as you look at him.

“Joe,” you say, just as he’s grabbing his charger. 

He’s still looking away. “Yeah?”

“Wanna join me?”

Finally, he turns eyes on you and gapes at you. “Are you sure?”

You nod. He strips off his trunks as you slide open the door. He steps into the stream of water and you look at each other. You reach out a tentative hand to touch his chest. You lock eyes, and you swear you’ve never seen anything  sexier than Joe with water running down his body. And he’s naked. You’re naked. You’re just looking each other over hungrily. 

“Kiss m-” 

You don’t even get the words out before his lips on yours, wrapping his arms around you as your wet bodies are pushed flush against each other. It’s open mouthed and needy, and you moan into each other.

His hands snake back around to cup your breasts and squeeze them. Your breath catches in your throat. 

It’s all too much. His hands and lips on you, the hot water running down your burning bodies, the steam clinging to your skin. It’s all got you dripping. 

“Joe,” you whine. “Please.”

“I’ve got you, baby,” he returns, and he kneels between your legs, pressing his lips to your throbbing clit. 

He teases your entrance with his finger and you moan his name. Your hand hits the glass door just like in Titanic only much dirtier. When he sinks his middle finger in you, a pornographic moan leaves your lips. 

He begins pumping slowly, curling his fingers and sucking your clit as he goes. It makes your legs weak, so he presses you against the wall for support. The tiles don’t even feel cold, that’s how much you two are heating up. 

“F-fuck, Joe,” you whine again, gripping his shoulder tightly. “Gonna - oh, fuck!”

Your orgasm rocks you and your knees give out, but Joe brings his hands to your hips to hold you up as you ride out your high on his face. 

“So fucking good for me, baby,” he praises, kissing his way back up your body. 

You hook your leg on his hip, pushing up so your soaked pussy grazes his cock. He hisses with desire and kisses you harshly. 

His tip teases your folds and you whimper, desperate for him. He can’t wait either. So he looks at you once more for permission. You nod and he slides into you. Your nails dig into his back as he stretches you delightfully and you moan again. 

You brace yourself against the wall as he begins thrusting into you. Each time, his tip lands on that sweet spot inside you. That spring in your belly is coiled tight again, and you are so eager for it to come loose. 

His cock feels amazing inside you. Like it was made for you. You clench around him and he stutters his movement as he groans. 

He goes a little faster after this, chasing his release. You bring your finger to your clit to get there with him. 

When you make eye contact, it happens. You pulse around his cock, and he finishes inside you. He kisses you again as you both start to come down. Joe pulls out and holds you close to him. Suddenly, you can feel the water running down you again. You kiss his chest. 

You look up at him with a mischievous grin. “Round two in the bed?”

[fmdtaeyongarchive]

↬ i’ll cover your deep heart and even your pain.

date: june 2020 / august 2020.

location: ash’s apartment studio / wellness retreat / ash’s apartment studio again.

word count: 1,866 words.

summary: ash writes a song for youngjoo’s birthday and decides to put it on his album.

triggers: n/a.

notes: creative claims verification. mentions of youngjoo ofc. i kinda... don’t... hate this 🥴

early june 2020.

he starts at home, where he usually does: in the comforting walls of his studio. it’s dark outside, but it’s the same level of low light it always is in his studio. the only sign of the late hour is the state of artistic drive his brain is in. a natural night owl, writing comes easiest at a late hour, a small blessing among few he has that has helped him survive life as an idol. 

youngjoo’s birthday is approaching and he needs something to give her. there’s no guide to shopping for your friend-question-mark-slash-hook-up-question-mark-slash-ex girlfriend-question-mark-slash-muse-question-mark. believe him, he’d searched both google and naver to try to find an idea.

the answer should be obvious. self-expression for ash comes far more easily through song than anything else. he’ll shower a lover in gifts if they ask him to, but she’s not his lover and they’re both too secure in their careers for an exchange of gifts, no matter how extravagant and expensive they may be, to hold all that much value based on sheer luxury alone. everything else, everything that would lend itself to sentimentality, feels like either too much or too little. there’s a line ash has to toe to keep from implying they’re more than they are without offending her by demoting her role in his life to that of a mere acquaintance.

a song can be shaped entirely by ash himself. he’ll be the auteur of its tone and content and everything it conveys. the problem ash has realized is that that turns back on him, forcing him to question what it is he wants to convey to her.

he’s written her a song once already. kind of. not really. he’d written songs to her and about her, but never directly for her. woo ah had taught him well enough that even showing him any of those songs is a bad idea, and yet here he is.

it’s obvious he needs to keep it simple. anything too romantic and it’ll come off as a confession. he doesn’t have a confession he’s looking to make, to start with, and even if he did, confessing on her birthday would be terribly self-centered of him. no one with half a brain and respect for others would believe that’s the right move to make.

what does he want to tell her? there’s a lot, but it’s easy to shift through and eliminate everything that wouldn’t be appropriate to make this song about. pulling to the forefront the specifics of what he can and should tell her is harder.

he abandons that and instead pulls out his one of his favorite guitars, his black gibson les paul, and sets to playing around with chord progressions and suitable keys. there’s a melody that bounces around in his head and he sends it soaring into the air through the strings, not satisfied until he finds a way to shape it into the kind of rolling comfort youngjoo provides him.

youngjoo’s a composer, a master with notes even if ash knows she doubts her lyrical ability at times. if words fail, he can hope she’ll connect with him in the heart of the song.

if he’s lyrics, so forward and obvious and often messy in execution under the excuse of heavy emotion, then youngjoo is the melody and harmonies that lay underneath, steady, strong, and deep.

mid-june 2020.

another night, he returns to the composition he’d written and he puts the instrumental on repeat as he pulls out a pen and a notebook and writes youngjoo a letter. if that’s what he wants to do through the song so badly, what better way to start than to do it for real? it’s not something she’ll ever read, but he'll have it.

------------------------------------------------------

dear joo,

letters are romantic like no other form of writing that exists other than, perhaps, song itself. at the risk of sounding like one of those old men who complain that all the kids do these days is text, it wouldn’t be so bad to bring letter-writing back. it’s comforting to read a letter, isn’t it? there’s something so permanent yet fragile about written words on paper. it’s comforting and delicate all at once. that’s how you make me feel sometimes. you’ve seen parts of me i worry about you having seen. on late nights like this without anyone else around, i get terrified that the sides of me that aren’t perfect are going to be the ones that cost me you from my life.

i know what you’d say if you read this. ‘don’t be silly. you’re perfect the way you are, ash.’ you’re always so much better and so much more loving than i give you credit for, but it’s not your fault i don’t give you enough credit. i know the woman you are. i’ve been your friend a while now. once upon a time, you even granted me the privilege of being your lover. i know you. knowing you so well is why i can’t get you off of my mind.

i’ve thought so hard about what i think you want to hear from me. i think about that a lot, actually, even when your birthday isn’t approaching. what do you want me to say? what do you want me to do? what do you want me to be? but none of that is what you’d want me to do, i know, so i’m now beginning to think it would be better if i didn’t think too hard about that. i’ll think about what i want to tell you.

song is a gift. i don’t believe in a god or a greater design, but music is the closest thing the human race has created to true divinity. in music, we can express everything we can’t say without a melody or a rhythm or a harmony to support us.

i’ve been thinking a lot about you lately, about us, and about this world we live in. there are days i feel so empty that i ache with the coldness of it. do you have those days, too? you must. i don’t know if you know i realize this because i’m in my own head so often, but i know my life isn’t the only hard one out there. i’m lucky in so many ways i take for granted. i know your relationship with your parents isn’t what you deserve it to be, and i know your heart is so big that you’ll do anything to see the good in anyone who crosses your path, even if it hurts you in the end. it may have seemed like i blamed you for it when we were together, but i understand you didn’t hide your feelings from me on purpose. i’ve never fully understood that about you. we’re so different in that way. but, now, it worries me more than anything. are there other feelings you don’t show me? fear, sadness, hurt?

i hope you know that you can share all of those emotions with me. i won’t judge you for them and they won’t be a burden to me. i meant it when i said i wanted to be a light for you. let me shine for you when your world is dark and let me be your blanket when you feel cold both inside and out.

i’m a greedy man and i want so much i shouldn’t, but please know that you allowing me to be that would make me happy. if i could return a fraction of the comfort and peace you’ve brought me, being able to give you that for your birthday and beyond would be the greatest gift i could ever give you.

yours, ash

------------------------------------------------------

the letter turns easily into lyrics after that. the letter is compressed into something much shorter, but it’s brief and to the point, avoiding the detours and scenic walks his stream of conscious letter had taken him on. it isn’t his most winding, poetic feat of storytelling, but he has no intention of it being. this isn’t a song meant to touch any listener who hears it. this is a song meant to touch one listener.

recording it comes similarly easily, and he insists on recording the song in one take. half an hour passes and he stops. there are times he’ll spend hours upon hours recording one song in the studio, but this song doesn’t need that. to fret over every intricacy of delivery and vocal technique would be to strip the song of its rawness, to present it as overly polished and perfected, and he already tries so hard to be some idealized version for himself in front of youngjoo already.

this is honesty.

august 2020.

the draft he sends youngjoo before he performs the song for her isn’t what the finished product of the song ends up being. it’s rough and short in comparison to what he ends up turning in to bc entertainment, but he’d had no intention of turning it into the company in the first place when he’d started. it’d been meant to be only for her, but as his album falls more and more into place, he realizes, in a lot of ways, it’s become a reflection of the past year of his life. it’s only natural that an album he’s played such a role in writing ends up as such, and songs inspired by youngjoo are all over the track list. when he looks back on it, she’s been a big part of his life for the last several months. some of his saddest moments had been with her, and that’s more than clear from the songs he’s written about her, but his happiest had been, too. his birthday and her birthday both stand out as times his self-hatred and internal resentment had been pushed away for long enough for him to genuinely smile in a way he remembers.

youngjoo won’t be the cure for his problems, much like he can’t be the cure for hers, but it’s times like their night together at the retreat that make ash want to try harder to solve his problems himself. this song, this piece titled ‘joo’ that he’ll undoubtedly need to rename, listening to it reminds him of the better person he can be if he lets himself. in a turn of fate, the song he’d meant to be a comfort to youngjoo also comforts him in the knowledge he’s capable of more than destruction. 

the song deserves a place on his album and he’s prepared to fight for it. so much of the album is dark, because that’s what he’s felt so much lately, but this one isn’t. the orchestral outro is added completely of his own accord, a further representation of how youngjoo makes him feel in their best moments together: light, dreamy, and nostalgic for days they’re supposed to have left behind them.

when he sends it into bc, it’s the only track in that email, and he includes a note, bolded and underlined so they can’t pretend they didn’t see it: this has to be the last track. it’s the final piece of the story.

[bujo-ie]

hello hello tell me about your love woes i am here to listen

ok get ready for pettiness yall

exhibit a) so like a few days before new year’s eve i had this sudden mind-blowing moment where i realized i like this person and it was while i was chatting with my friend because i was trying to avoid this dude.

we do these end of the year things where you like someone’s fb post or comment or smth. i commented on a tbh post of a mutual friend. and this guy, out of nowhere just butts in and is like ‘gtfo’ and don’t get me wrong i dont normally take things that seriously but this guy?? was basically?? my best guy friend?? last year?? and now?? he decides?? that he doesn’t?? want to interact?? with me?? anymore?? so why?? do you keep?? interfering?? with my life?? and im dying/? AL THE TIME OADOIAHUOIWWEA

basically that led to me just like panicking but also ranting to my friend about this guy because he has the audacity to literally ignore me when i want to hold a conversation with him and pull some crap on social media in front of people/??

exhibit b)i’ve been having ups and downs with this guy a lot. it really sucks when you like someone just because its really easy for them to manipulate you, and idk if that’s what he’s doing (purposefully) but i just am in constant emotional turmoil. because we don’t have classes together, i have no excuse or reason to talk to him, but i ALWAYS SEE HIM. IN THE HALLWAY. BEHIND ME BC WE HAVE LOCKERS IN LITERALLY THE SAME POSITION BUT FACING THE OPPOSITE WAY.  SAME CLASSES BUT DIFFERENT TEACHERS. SAME LUNCH PERIOD BUT DIFFERENT TABLES.

exhibit c)and because i see him so often its just so frustrating bc its like the world is mocking me and my rigged school schedule and also just the fact that i always look for him even when i shouldn’t?? like i could prob be in our large auditorium and would still be able to find him afjaofjuaeifhs

exhibit d)he only talks to me on certain occasions. because he knows the way i work, he knows that he’ll always get help for me. i’m his second best editor (second to his best friend who is rising up my friend list), and number one scorn + criticism freak when it comes to writing, i’ve basically edited every single fucking assignment he’s written and i can’t deny him. like i’ve tried and he literally said ‘please joieeee’ and i just fucking gave in just like that. like what. how. h OW

he’s nice sometimes. he always thanks me, and i always say to get someone else to do it next time. but he always comes back to me.only for whenever he needs me ://

even so, he’s still one of my friends. we wished each other happy birthday (he went out of his way to do so, and just kept saying it to me every time he saw me), i made him cookies. i know. i’m literally falling into his arms. it sucks

exhibit e)we were in three consecutive classes last year, which is how i met and became friends with this guy. once i had a breakdown at our last class (which is the last period of the day) duRING A TESTING PERIOD and i was sent to the guidance counselor to chill the fuck out. i was feeling like shit and just generally not good and after a full forty minutes of crying my face was obviously red and blotchy and gross. i plodded down to the lobby and there he is.

he asks me what happened and i explain briefly. just thinking about it makes me cry so there are tears streaming down my face. he gives me a hug

(it’s a nice hug)

exhibit e)we have a lot of mutual friends, mostly because i met them through him. the guy i mentioned earlier being his #1 editor is prob his best friend, and he’s basically my best guy friend now. earlier this year my school had a confessions pg and someone confessed abt mr. best friend

the FIRST THING that my person (i’m gonna call him msx for now) does is ask me, via chat, whether or not i sent it

do you know how heartbreaking it is to literally have the person you like ask you if you like someone else? like i was so ready to punch the screen but instead i had to settle for a ‘haha what? no’ anD HE WOULDNT BELIEVE ME AND I JUST AIDJOISJFJIUEW I LIKE YOU DUMBASS HOLY-

exhibit f)and now, after my freak out to my friend, she keeps sending me photos of him because they’re in clubs together, and i’m so torn between appreciating them and telling her to stop because my heart hurts but in a nice way

(i haven’t told her to stop yet. why do i do this to myself)

...

thanks anonie for letting me word vomit my love woes. i probably sound like a lovesick child and that’s not too far from the truth, but i still have my dignity, surprisingly :)) i might even update this lmao tell me if i should tag asks on my love woes gn yall