#but I also don't wanna cancel so I hope I'll just feel better tomorrow than I did the last few days

[undefeatednils]

Stuff in tags, only wanna semi-scream into the void

...

[rekino2114]

Cancel confessing to you

A/n:drf won the poll, even if i think it was just by a vote or two, but anyway, here's the first post to celebrate

"For the last time I do not have a crush on y/n"

"If you want to lie, then at least try to be convincing"

Cancel scoffed at enigma and opened her eyes

"What even makes you think that?"

"You always blush when you see them, rarely insult or act like you're better than them-"

"Are you insinuate I normally do that to people who aren't y/n?"

"............"

"Tch"

"And you also read their fortune multiple times,for free, with an emphasis on their love life, seems to me like you want to make sure you're-"

"Fine, fine, will you shut up!?"

"So you admit it?"

"I may have a tiny crush on them but why do you care?"

"Cause you're not doing anything about it"

"Hm?"

"Despite what you might think, we're friends, and I don't wanna see you looking melancholically at them like you don't have a chance when you haven't even tried anything"

"What should I do then?"

"Just confess to them"

She glared at him and rolled her eyes

"Wow, thank you, Enigma. I never thought about that"

"It was just an idea"

"Yeah, the most idiotic idea ever. What do you think will happen if they reject me? I'll look like an idiot and never be able to look at them in the eyes again"

"I think they like you too"

"And pray tell how do you know that?"

"I'm their friend too you know?"

"So?"

"..............."

"WAIT, YOU KNEW THEY HAD A CRUSH ON ME THIS WHOLE TIME AND YOU DIDN'T TELL ME ANYTHING?"

"They were scared you would start laughing if they found out"

"I would never"

"............"

"At them. Anyway I still feel betrayed, I thought we were supposed to be "friends"

"So we are friends"

"Just shut up I'm going to search for y/n now"

"Good luck"

"Thank you, I suppose"

The diviner got up from the table and went to look for you. She didn't have to wait long as you went up to her with a smile that made her blush

"Hey cancel, I was just looking for you"

"Oh me too, why?"

"I wanted to get my fortune read"

"Hm? Again?"

"Yes, it was so fun last time, and I want to know more I hope you don't mind"

"No, absolutely not, it's my ultimate and....i-i like being with you"

"What was that last part?"

"Nothing now follow me"

She led you to her dorm where she told you to sit on her bed. She turned off the lights and lit a purple candle to set up the mood

"I'll read your palm. Is that alright?"

"Of course"

Cancel sat in front of you and started examining your hand

"So what would you like to know?"

"What my future girlfriend will be like"

"E-eh?"

"Is something wrong? I thought that was a pretty common request"

"I-it is, just......nothing, I'll work on it"

"Great, thank you so much, and sorry if I'm bothering you"

"No don't worry, you could never"

She looked more at your hand and switched her gaze on you after a while

"OK so from what I can see......"

She cleared her throat and shook off a blush before speaking again

"She has.....back hair, pink eyes and....really likes reading and wearing jewelry-"

"Uhm cancel-"

"A-and she would really like to go on a date with you..........m-maybe tomorrow if possible......?"

Cancel blushed even brighter and looked to the side, slightly scared for your answer. You simply started giggling which made her blush even more and look at you with an angry expression

"A-are you mocking me?"

"No, no definitely not, I just thought it was a funny coincidence"

"Hm?"

"Because I'd love to go on a date with that mysterious girl, tomorrow would be great"

"R-really?"

"Definitely, perhaps the library would be good?"

"I- I mean, she would love it. She'll let you know when she's ready"

"Great"

You got up from the bed and kissed cancel on the cheek, causing her to blush again

"I can't wait"

As you left, she touched the cheek you kissed and smiled slightly before gaining her composure

"OK, now I need to see how the date will go....I wonder what kind of tea they like....oh where are my tarots?"

[hospitalterrorizer]

diary214

4/16-17/2024

tuesday - wednesday

feeling better today.

and still feeling better little bit by bit. i did something kinda dumb and jumped on buying a new laptop this morning and then decided, not that one, another one that's from acer instead of lenovo cuz i don't want something made too badly, i suppose. so now i am waiting on that cancellation to go thru, get my money back, and then by this other one that should be better than the lenovo thing. the only thing that had going for it was that it had like 24 gb of ram + 2 tb ssd, and that's maybe whatever, basically i know i need at least 16 + 1 tb, this thing i have doesn't even have an ssd and the it's 12gb of ram, the cpu is is like, from 2016, this new one would be like a 2023 cpu, it'd just be an upgrade in such a serious way, almost entirely i think. it'd be very nice and honestly? i am just thinking about all the stickers i have collected that i have been waiting to put on a laptop. i am so freaking excited about that... there's this sticker i have of a stuffed animal bear with its guts out, there's this sticker of cute cherubim flying around and it's shiny... there's a bunch of others... there's a yume nikki sticker. like omg... it will be soooo cute. cuter than this one, which is still cute. but not way cute. if i have a cute machine... i'll at least feel 10% cuter daily and that'll make me a little less crazy maybe.

anyway, today i made a new guitar tone for some of the problem songs and i think it's maybe basically perfect, so i'll see about that later i gueszzszss, i wanna listen tomorrow instead of immediately after exporting, in album context, just to see how it all comes off and maybe tomorrow will be good for vocals too. we'll see. i go in at 6 so i have time...

i hope, at least. i could waste it all. maybe this order cancellation will go badly but it's not like the order really had the chance to process fully. so it should be okay, i imagine.

listening to this now. conqueror is a good record i need to go back to it.

god now i am listening to this:

when i was in highschool, this was like, one of the most important songs ever, to me, between all the fucked up screamo stuff, weird electronic music, industrial stuff, there was this thing, it weighed on me more than any gy!be song, this felt like, i dunno, it puts me in a state of incoherence but i'll try to speak it, it was that kind of feeling you get, i knew i was headed into a future of some kind, it was really violently hitting me at various points, but especially senior year i think, the skull-cap of life had been opened up, and there was just this new firmament visible from the interior, i was caught in there staring out, the bone-white rim and black sky, a whole nothing arriving, a monstrous tide, and i understood it, and was part of it, i was bound for it, it's not like, death, it really was the dimness of the possible, where no light is because it is undifferentiated, that sort of yawning void crawled into me, and i felt the weight of the world and felt much of it as a kind of waste, cheapness surrounding me, you feel this lovely and swelling thing in those moments which are cheap, minor, standing in parking lots under cloudy skies, waiting for the bus to come take you home, stuff like that.

wow, you can see my old comment from 7 years ago on that. i feel so dumb seeing myself online but there's something sweet about that i guess, so like, whatevs.

how strange it is to see myself. it makes me kind of sad i guess. i am the thing i always was which is what i want to be. but i wonder if that means there's something wrong or whatever.

because i had to run to work, i could not read. tomorrow i need to and also i need to read some of that hito steyerl book tomorrow. it's like, good to read those kinds of essays. i read an essay tonight also,

this was interesting . i guess one thought not against but questioning it, is wonder if maybe the borderline experience is, while an expression of need for ways out, desire for revolt, and efforts toward that, if it still emerges from/in response to and so somewhat crafted by an apparatus of individualizing disciplines? i don't know. i know that in many ways, this analysis here is right, it is a response and expression of this need for a way out, and i don't want to say it's like, a 'condition' of useless thrashing, i don't think it is, but i do think that maybe it's helpful to imagine it as the need and desire for revolt expressed, rather than the revolt itself. instantiations of the need and drives, maybe even tiny mobilizations of those things, but i guess here what i am responding to is the sense that it is 'one,' not in a one of many way, but the response, an almost ideal one, when in truth i don't really want to foreclose on any potentiality, but i don't think the author here is doing that, i just tend to see that in things i guess because i am a freak or something.

it's hard to have too many thoughts on it, but i do like it, i also need to get to another essay i saw on that ill will website, about ecofascism i think.

anyway i need to sleep now, so

byebye!!!!!!!!!!!

[shiro-0197]

God no I'm sorry 😭😭😭 the way Tumblr eats all my drafts, and now your replies. (Someday I'm gonna eat Tumblr grrrr) that must've been so frustrating tho, I'm sorry love.

someday we could go to a country with Highlands together. It'll be super cold and nice. And the views would be really really pretty too!! WE COULD EVEN BE AMONGST THE CLOUDS >//< aww yes I hope you'll be able to try them soon in the future!! I died and had to stay in bed for an hour, (because my spice tolerance is nonexistent <3) but yeah I'm better now! Name is: "대박 ghost pepper noodles" the Korean word 대박 literally translates to "awesome" but— 😭😭

oh I see!! I hope school goes well, it's good that you're excused for a part of the day :D and aww I understand. Replying can be lengthy sometimes, so please please only do it when you're free and comfortable >:(( we're in no rush, after all :D

I was studying earlier too. and I texted my principal about the exams ( because apparently none of my teachers know anything about it, and I was so frustrated with everyone being so clueless ) she just replied with a : "hi Ariana, will let you know on Friday" like excuse me, ma'am. GRRRRR >:( STOP BEING CLUELESS.

awww that's okay!! I'm sure those prep slides were really pretty too :D aww that's sweet of you. some of my online friends sometimes sit in on my Leo events (if it's open to everyone) and it's pretty fun when they do (once, one of them had to talk for like, an activity and my club mates were like "SHE HAS AN ACCENT??". It was hilarious hehe) zoom is great for that reason, and only that. they're just ready-made slides tbh, I use canva :D

Shiro, love, you won't disappoint anyone, I promise you that. I'm sure your mom is more proud than you know, and from the way you talk about her, I can tell that she truly adores you. tho I also understand your worries. If you want to rant or anything, you know I'm here. And I'll just continuously reassure you of how amazing you are :)

that's my boy 🥺🥺 grr, you're so feisty, please imagine me holding a "you go, Shiro" sign everytime you tell someone to fuck themselves :D Laurent is indeed amazing. He's my favourite character for that exact reason >//< there's another character, from a book I read, just like that. His name was uhh, Kieran. And he knew so many different languages, and was just in general; super smart. I remember being so in love with him when I first read it (The title of the book is "genius")

HAHA. ikr. They're all hot, and most importantly; smart. nevermind, when I meet you someday we can cry over them together 😭🤚 pffft no offense, but being evil is hot sometimes 😾 (I mean, Kieran was evil. So's Moriarty :] and I am: a simp for them all)

aww bae that's okay 🥺🥺 your feelings are valid, and it's not wrong to express them whenever you feel like it. Grrr if I ever see your dad, he might be missing a limb >:( sorry, that was violent, but I get especially mad if anyone upsets someone i love )

exactly?? It's been a year?? Where's that blink meme where someone blinks and it's suddenly 2021. Oooh that sounds really nice!! Adding it on my list of things to try in March >.< Honey is really delicious. especially all those desserts which have a lot of them.

glad I made you laugh >////< grr my sense of humour is just so weird tho, so I'm glad you aren't freaked out by it.

KAJDKSJSKS SIR WAIT. There was an explanation for that u but I guess it got cut off in my notes 😾😾 IT WAS MEANT TO BE A Ü (smiley) but I was using my computer and I couldn't add the two dots above, so I typed "imagine the eyes" (but apparently that part got cut off and now it just looks like a random alphabet SKJSKSK IM SORRY 😭😭😭

I understand, the lack of opportunities can really get on one's nerves. But oh yes, Japan and Norway are beautiful countries. Apart from Japan, I've been really into Korea and Switzerland. The Alps 😻

grrr y'all have tough exteriors. But it's so rewarding when you finally get them down, tho I think, you guys have tons of other layers to yourselves. I guess that's just the charm, I find it endearing, because it just means there's a lot more than meets the eye :)

MY FRIEND MAKES FUN OF ME FOR LIKING PINK. HE TEASES ME MERCILESSLY SKSJSKSK (so I published a poem line in the school magazine to get back at him for it, because I'm petty like that)

that's so funny >.< There are two girls, and a girl and a guy, who share the exact same names in my class, and it's so funny because they're opposites of each other xD

he really is precious. The best leader, I would literally die for him, he's wonderful. yeah the book actually started out different, with them just being best friends. Best plot twist 😭😭 AWW

NOOO I'm sure it's cute, in it own way? :P tho that meme tho. LDJCJSBSKS. Don't worry, hehe, the character may be .... Unpleasant to look at?? , but you're not the least bit at all :)

how was your day btw? My day sucked ass and was literally the worst day in the history of uh, days. Yeah. sad. tomorrow will be better.

God, you're so adorable wtf. Marry me rn. AKDJSKSJS I didn't find it lame at all, (tho were you flustered? Because that was cute as hell xD) I love you too 🥺🥺

—☃️

It's okay, it's not your fault. We could storm the Tumblr building together or something..:3

Oh I really hope we can!!! I love cold weather. You can wear sweaters and hoodies and all that💞 and you have an excuse to cancel everything and cuddle up with a blanket or someone else😝

Im so glad you're better now!! Spice sickness or whatever is the worst😔 WBHDJWKX that's hilarious I hope I come across those soon! Let's see who wins😼

Yeah, about that, they started making us do after-class activities, which now leaves less time for the stuff I have to do .... which sucks . But I'm managing, I think, so it's cool xD yeah, I've always been kind of cautious about the timing, it's nice to have a little freedom now, thank you so much <3

Wow😭😭 our teachers usually have the dates set two weeks before the exams, we always recieve a message. Though I've been there, where the teacher have no clue, it's so annoying😭😭

Ohh, that's so cool! I hope I will be able to visit one someday. Though I dont think itll be too soon, but I'm looking forward to when I can😝 also that's funny, whenever I speak people go "he doesnt have an accent???" Even though I so obviously do. They just have no idea 😭

Okay..... that's the best words of encouragement I've ever received, I'm so touched- thank you🥺💘

Bwahah, that's gonna make my day every time 😭 Yeah, hes my favorite too!! He seems like a simple himbo at first, but the more we see of him the better he gets. (That sounds cool!!! I'm gonna check it out when I can!)

Thank you🥺 also, dont worry, I wouldn't mind that. I'd love that, actually, wanna go rip off guys arms together?

MZJXKGJJAKXKAKX IT'S ALRIGHT HAHAH, ITS REALLY FUNNY SO DONT WORRY😭😭

JSNFNMWMDMS IM GONNA MAKE FUN OF HIM FOR MAKING FUN OF YOU how could he . I will eat his eyeballs. Also I 100% agree with the poem and I'm glad you posted it. I hope some people thought about it.

Wow😭😭 its honestly so funny, because they're all so different and yet their names fit them so well either way.

Also, wow I feel so bad it's been almost a week since I responded😐 I'm really sorry. I've been writing snips of this message any time I could and yet it still took me days xD I'm getting free, though, so I'll try to respond faster now. I missed talking to you so much😭 thank you for your patience🤍🤍🤍

How've you been? I'm pretty good, tired but feeling good because I can finally respond😩 I hope your day went well. Love you!♡

[jojo-at-his-computer]

Okay, @joliejolyne, this idea is so adorable!

Mikitaka X Reader: Lovesick

"Hey Miki, wanna stop by the ice cream place?"

Classes had just ended for the day and you met your friend Mikitaka Hazekaru at the lockers. Well he said his real name is Nu Mikitakazo Nshi, he claims he's an alien who came to Earth after he planet got destroyed. You decided it was just easier to call him Miki, a nickname he grew to like. Josuke and Okuyasu still weren't sure if he was an alien or a Stand user who thinks he's an alien, but you reasoned that, hey, if vampires and Stand users exist, there's no reason aliens couldn't too, so you have him the benefit of the doubt and played along. As strange as he is, you loved your alien bud. It was a nice day, now that school is over, the weekend has started, so you thought it would be fun to have a picnic at Morioh Park.

You two left the school and headed to the ice cream shop. But when you get there, the shop was closed due to broken ice cream machine.

"Ah rats!" you exclaimed. "I was hoping to get some ice cream." Mikitaka smiled and opened his bag.

"Don't worry (name)," said Miki. "I brought some of my own just in case." and sure enough he produced two cones of his own. You forgot that sometimes he keeps weird stuff in his bags.

"Oh boy, what flavor?" you ask him.

"I've got two cones of the cream mixed with red Earth berries and covered with a sweet brown syrup that hardened, surrounded by a cone." answered Miki, unsure what the actual flavor was.

"Ooh chocolate covered strawberry! I love it!" you exclaimed as you took the cone. You and Miki opened your cones as you walked to your house to grab the sandwiches you made. You bit of into your cone breaking the chocolate shell. It was delicious! "Wow this is amazing, thank you!" Miki smiled, a slight redness spreading on his cheeks.

"I'm glad the cream of ice was satisfactory." Miki looked a bit troubled for a second.

"What's wrong?" you asked. "Did you get a brain freeze? That can happen when you eat cold foods, but it'll be better in a few seconds." Miki shook his head.

"No, my brain didn't freeze, but I do feel a bit peculiar. Maybe I'm just hungry." he reasoned. You understood and nodded, you felt a bit hungry yourself but didn't realize it until you finished your ice cream cone. The two of you had just arrived at your house.

"I'll be right back, I've got the sandwiches and stuff inside." You gave your friend a hug, which seemed to surprise him. Rushing to the fridge, you grabbed the sandwiches you made the night before, a few soda pops, and a bag of Doritos and stuffed them into a small picnic basket, and ran outside. "Let's go!" you exclaimed, "Off to the park!"

When you arrived to the park, you and your alien friend sat under a shady tree, it was a warm day, but a cool breeze stirred up once in awhile, which felt good under the shade of the tree. You ate your sandwiches, but you noticed Miki had only taken a bite or two from his. He had this troubled look to him as if he was thinking of something.

"Hey Miki, do you not like the sandwich?" you asked. "I can switch it for another flavor. Miki shook his head.

"No no!" he exclaimed, "It tastes amazing, really. But I seem to have lost my appetite."

"Well what's eating ya?" you asked. Mikitaka looked at you with confusion.

"Nothing's eating me." he answered. "I'm still here and not being eatened." Whoops. You forgot he doesn't understand certain expressions.

"Sorry." you quickly apologized, "It's an Earth saying. I asked if something was wrong."

"Oh! I see." he answered smiling a little, "I'm not sure." He suddenly looked serious, "I didn't want to scare you earlier, but I may have picked up an Earth sickness. I've been feeling different for about a few weeks, nothing like I've felt before on my home planet. I thought I was better for awhile today, but sometime around when I gave you the cream, I felt it again. I knew you've been wanting to plan this picnic, so I didn't want to cancel, I'm sorry."

"Well Miki, of you're not feeling well, I don't want to make you feel worse, coming out when you're sick." you said. You were a bit worried for your alien friend. "Here, try telling me what's wrong, maybe it's not so serious."

"Well," he paused, "It's difficult for me to describe clearly, but I'll attempt it. I feel similar feelings to nervousness, but I also feel warm inside. Not the same as when you have a fever, but more like when you eat hot food. Though sometimes it feels like the heat also rises to my cheeks. Sometimes the palms of my hands feel like they're wet and unsteady. A few times I've had trouble sleeping, or eating." he said motioning to his half eaten sandwich. You thought of his symptoms. These sound familiar. Wait a minute.

"Just out of curiosity, when these feelings occur, do you think of a certain specific person?"

"Yes I do," answered Miki.

"And do you feel like you can't get that person out of your mind, does it drive you crazy, but at the same time, you feel weirdly pleasant, like you really like this person so much?

"Why yes, that's right!" answered Miki. You couldn't help it, you ended up bursting out laughing, confusing Mikitaka.

"I don't understand why you're laughing." said Miki "Did I say something that's funny to Earth humans?" you calmed down.

"I'm sorry Miki, I shouldn't have laughed, that was impolite." you said, "See, I was worried you were sick at first, but after what you told me, I have some good news, you're not sick at all, you're perfectly healthy. Miki, you've got a crush! You're falling in love with someone!" Miki looked like he understood.

"So I'm not sick after all!" he realized. "This makes sense. I've never experienced these feelings before."

"Does your species fall on love?" you asked.

"They do sometimes," he answered, "I've just never myself specifically felt this way about anyone. Have you ever felt these feelings?" he asked you. You were a bit nervous to say, but Miki was your crush. An oddball, but you loved the way he looks at things on Earth that are normal to everyone else, finding beauty and interest with even the most mundane items, and he had an odd, handsome, exotic look to him. It was your turn to blush.

"Yes, I've felt this way." you answered. "Sometimes these feelings do feel weird, and it can make you feel like you're sick. Us Earth humans have a nickname for it, love sickness!"

"Love sickness?" said Miki, "It is kinda funny. How do you get these weird feelings to stop?"

"Sometimes it helps to talk about the person you like." you suggested. "You can tell me, I won't tell anyone, I promise."

"Well," Miki began, "the person I feel the love sickness for is," he pauses, "well, it's you!" This took you by surprise.

"Are you for real?" you ask, hoping you heard him right.

"Yes, I am being for the real. You give me the weird feelings." he answered, the blush on his face deepening. "So what do you think of that?" You surprise him enveloping him in a hug.

"I've been wanting to you the same thing!" you shouted. A warm smile appeared on Miki's face.

"I think I feel a lot better now (name)!" said Miki. His appetite invigorated, the two of you continued your picnic.

"Ooops, we're out of sandwiches." you exclaim.

"No we are not!" said Miki, pulling two katsu sandwiches out of his bag. Oh Miki! You tried a bite of the sandwich, it was even better than the katsu sandwiches from St. Gentleman's!

"This is so yummy!!! Does your bag have TARDIS technology or something?" you asked him.

"What's a TARDIS?" asked Miki. You laughed.

"There's a TV show from Britain I like called Doctor Who." you explained, "It's about a time traveler called The Doctor, he's an alien like you are, and his time machine, the TARDIS, is sorta like his spaceship. On the outside it looks like a blue box, but it's really big on the inside. It's an interesting show, maybe we can watch it sometime."

"I'd love to watch the show with you." said Miki. "What do Earth people do when they're in love?" he wondered.

"Well, they do lots of things to spend time together." you answered. "We could go to the movies, or the mall, spend the day at the amusement park, go out to eat for dinner, or," you motion around, "have a picnic like what we're doing now, or even something simple like renting a video and watching it together. There's all sorts of things we can do."

"I'd like to try all those things with you." he said beaming. You wrapped him in a hug and planted a kiss on his lips.

"What's that you just did?" asked Mikitaka.

"Oh, that's a kiss!" you replied, "It's what Earth couples do to express love."

"May we try that again (name)?" asked Miki, "I wasn't prepared for this kiss to happen." You giggled.

"Of course we can." you answered, and you kissed him again, this one ended up being slower and longer. The sun began setting in the distance, wrapping the two of you in the glow of the sunset.

"It's getting darker," said Miki embracing you. "Let's clean up and I can walk you to your house."

"Thank you Miki" you tell him, "I'd like that." After taking a few minutes to clean up, the two of you walk back to your house, the sky almost dark and the first few stars popping out.

"Maybe tomorrow we could go to a place to eat." suggested Miki, "Or we could see that doctor program you mentioned earlier." You giggled.

"Doctor Who." you corrected. "And we can do both of those things since there's no school tomorrow! Maybe even go to the bookstore too. Would noon be okay?"

"That sounds wonderful (name)." answered Miki. He kissed you on the lips and embraced you again. You waved goodbye as you went back into your house.

"See you tomorrow Miki! I love you!"